#sportshunting

[thatguywhodoesstuff]

A Fist Full Of J X Thad Incorrect Quotes

(Its been a while since I’ve done one of these, so here’s the sequel to these three posts)

———

(J and Thad are flirting with each other, yet again)

Uzi: And you two are sure you're not dating?

J: 100%.

Thad: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Uzi: (Sarcastically) I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Thad. I fucking wonder.

———

(Playing Twister)

Lizzy: Right hand red.

(Thad tries to place his hand on a red space, only to end up on top of J)

Thad: (Blushing) Uh…

J: (Aggravated and blushing) You're doing this on purpose, aren't you!?

Lizzy: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

———

J: Come on, V. Nobody actually believes that Thad is in love with me.

V: (To everyone in the classroom) Raise your hand if you think that Thad is helplessly in love with J.

(Everyone, including the Teacher, raises their hand)

J: (Blushing) Thad, put your hand down.

———

J: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Thad: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

J: …You mean ring bearER, right?

Thad: (Eyes hollow) ...

J: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

———

J: Is something burning?

Thad: (Leaning seductively on the counter) Just my desire for you.

J: (Unimpressed) Thad, Uzi is literally on fire.

———

(J asks N for some relationship advice)

J: Can I tell him that he looks nice?

N: Sure.

J: Can I tell him I respect him?

N: Maybe, if he asks.

J: Should I show him an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?

N: (Taken aback at this) …I’d save that for later.

———

Lizzy: (Teasingly) Ooh, somebody has a crush.

Thad: (He rolls his eyes) Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Person D I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

(Later that night)

Thad: (Wide awake at 3 in the morning) Uh oh.

———

Thad: Did it hurt when you fell-

J: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Thad: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

J: ...

Thad: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

———

Thad: How do I tell J that I want her to yell at me like she’s Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

———

Thad: I think I'm falling for you.

J: (Blankly) Then get up.

———

J: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Uzi: (Not even looking up from what she’s doing) Did Thad say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

J: (Blushing) THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

———

Thad: I have a lie detector in my shirt.

J: …What? Weirdo. Take it off, then.

Lizzy: (Grinning) Why do you want him to take off his shirt?

J: (Blushing) WHAT- NO I DON’T…

(Thad’s chest starts beeping)

J: (Her blush deepens)

———

N: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Thad: Well J and I-

J: (Elbows him and shakes her head)

Thad: ...wouldn't know.

———

(J has just managed to save Thad from a collapsing building)

Thad: (Getting up off the ground) Thanks, I owe you one.

J: (Brushing herself off) That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

———

Thad: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

J: Hi, I’m ‘things’~

Thad: (Blushes profusely)

Uzi: (Rolls her eyes) Ugh…

———

J: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

V: (Unimpressed) You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Thad.

J: (Pointing the hot glue gun towards V) You’re on thin fucking ice.

———

N: Why don’t you go talk to him?

J: (Sarcastically) Oh. Yeah, sure.

Uzi: What? So you go tell him he’s cute, what’s the worst that could happen?

J: He could hear me.

———

N: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Uzi: (Dully looks over at J and Thad) Is it “sexual tension”?

———

Thad: But what about J? She was my SOULMATE!

Lizzy: (Exasperated) You said that about a football once!

———

N: So you’re dating Thad?

J: What? No! I’m just buying him an accessory since he has terrible fashion sense.

V: (Blankly) That’s literally a wedding ring.

———

[wilabesworld]

#fyp #fypシ 🤭 A #FathersDay #tiktok #viral #videooftheday 😲 #animal #slaughter is #VULGAR 🩸

So #dads #daddies please share the #Truth to your sons (and daughters) that #FactoryFarms #factoryfarming #sportshunting #wetmarkets is Ugly 😝

#veganism is Sexy 😉 #govegan #ouiyay 🐾💚👣 #wilabedna 🥳

[gossipdepartement]

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