#spookyjuice
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dangerouslusttt · 2 years ago
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spookyjuicefiction · 3 years ago
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A King's Bounty, Pt. 5
Universe: The Hobbit/LOTR (films)
Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x female!Reader
Description: Y/N is a bounty hunter sent to kill the exiled King Under the Mountain, but makes a deal that will benefit them both. What she doesn’t know is that this deal might change both of their fates.
Masterlist
A/N: I'm on a roll today ya'll. Lot of movie recap here sorry. I took some liberties with dialogue
Warnings: Swearing, fighting
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Y/N was woken violently as Thorin dragged her to her feet, the sounds of the dwarves panicked yelling all around her.
"What-"
"Goblins. Ready your weapons." Thorin all but threw her across the cave toward her pack, where she wasted no time in strapping it to her back and unsheathing her daggers. They were freshly sharpened in Rivendell and she found herself almost excited to see a bit of combat after feeling so useless the last few days. But none of them could have been prepared for the sheer mass of the throng of goblins that descended upon them.
It happened too quickly; before she could turn around, Y/N's senses were overloaded, her vision crowded with limbs, her ears with the high-pitched screeching, and her body with dozens of grimy hands all over her, forcing her down a pathway with her head down. She recognized a dwarf's boots in front of her and knew they must have all met the same fate. The screeching and clanging grew louder as they descended into the cave, echoing deafeningly off of the walls in a relentless ricochet of sound.
At length they were shoved forward onto a platform, their weapons wrung out of their hands onto the floor and arms held behind their backs. Finally, she was able to raise her head and look around her. The cave was enormous, its walls lined with row after row of crude scaffolding upon which thousands of goblins jumped and leered at them. In front of her, a massive goblin covered in mutated boils and rolls stood from his large throne, a lopsided spiky crown on his ugly. lumpy head.
He asked the company to explain who they were and why they were here, threatening them with torture when no explanation came. Then Thorin stepped forward, and the Goblin King regarded him with interest.
"Well, well. Thorin Oakenshield, the king under the mountain. Only, you don't have a mountain, so you aren't a king. I guess that means you're... nothing."
Around her the dwarves bristled at the insult, Y/N among them. She let out a low snarl that earned her a swift kick from one of the goblins holding her in place.
The Goblin King continued. "I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Perhaps you know of whom I speak? A pale orc that rides a white warg?"
"Azog the Defiler is destroyed," Thorin growled, though his words lacked conviction. Of course, she remembered, the orc that earned Thorin the name of Oakenshield. The one who lost his arm to the future king. Y/N shuddered at the thought, having heard stories of the Pale One, larger and more fearsome than any of his kin. It seemed he was alive. And he was out for revenge.
At that moment, a huge crash sounded on the landing, the force of which knocked dwarves and goblins alike to the ground. Y/N lifted her head, squinting at a figure obscured by bright light that now stood in front of them, and her heart leapt out of her chest.
It was Gandalf.
"Take up arms!" the wizard cried, and at once the dwarves scrambled to their feet and plucked up whatever weapons they could find. Y/N, fastest of all of them thanks to her years of roguish practice, made sure to grab her prized daggers, sheathing them in favor of a large goblin pike, and rounded on her enemies. She had taken out several before they even had a chance to climb to their gnarled feet.
"Run!" She heard Gandalf shout over the uproar of battle as she swung the pike expertly around her, knocking five goblins off of the platform away from her. Next to her was Ori, the most inexperienced fighter, so she picked off a few of his attackers as well earning a beaming smile from him before they took off down the wooden footbridge after Gandalf.
Chaos ensued. The platforms seemed to shift and buckle beneath them with every step. She saw Bombur fall rear-first through several levels and scurry back up the other side, while Fili and Dori took on a massive throng of attackers on a taller platform to the right. At last, she caught sight of Thorin, who was singlehandedly defending the pathway Gandalf had started down. Y/N shoved Ori after Gandalf and hopped up to join the king. Between blows he shot her an agitated look.
"Follow Gandalf!" he commanded, but she rolled her eyes and stood back to back with him, brandishing the pike. Together, they drove back the goblins long enough for all of the party to pass over the next foot bridge, the pair ducking and swinging around each other as though they had fought together for many lifetimes and knew their fighting rhythms by heart.
"Much as I'm enjoying this, it's time to go!" She shot him a grin before taking off after the others, Thorin hot on her heels. She threw the pike at two goblins who were trying to swing over to them on ropes, skewering them both in the process, and leaped onto the next platform with a victorious whoop.
Somehow, the platform containing the dwarves separated from the other and swung through the air on a giant rope. Someone yelled "jump!" as it reached the next part of the path, and half of the dwarves made the leap. Still bringing up the rear, Y/N and Thorin turned as the pendulum swung back, bringing an onslaught of goblins leaping toward them. Trusty daggers in hand, Y/N helped Thorin throw the unwelcome stowaways off the platform until it swung back. She was yanking her dagger out of a goblin's chest when Thorin pulled her back with all his might, using their combined weight to throw them off the swinging bridge and onto the next platform. No time to catch their breath. Scrambling to their feet, they took off running again. The doorway was just ahead.
That was when the Goblin King descended and blocked them off. Gandalf overtook him easily with a slice to the throat, but the weight of his fall caused the entire platform to dislodge from the scaffolding. Y/N grabbed onto Thorin as they crouched down, trying to keep the platform level as it descended down the shaft of the cave. At last it reached the bottom, the legs beneath bracing the impact so the dwarves, Y/N and Gandalf simply spilled over the side a few feet onto the cave ground. They all lay silently for a moment, their breaths heaving from the exhausting escape, unable to believe they were still alive after such a chase.
Y/N rolled over onto her back, catching her breath, and turned her head to the left to look at Thorin. He was beginning to push himself to his feet.
"Are you alright?" she asked him as he grimaced slightly.
"Fine. You?"
"Fine." She sat up and checked her belt and back. Amazingly, she had even managed grab her pack during the escape, and both daggers lay at her side. When she had sheathed them, Thorin reached out a hand and pulled her to her feet. He looked annoyed.
"When I tell you to run, you run," he said crossly.
She rolled her eyes. "You're not my king, lest you forget. I don't have to listen to you. And besides," she wiggled her eyebrows at him, his face growing even more irritated, "wasn't that fun?"
"I certainly enjoyed it," Kili said behind her, plucking up his sword and replacing it at his hip. "Well done everyone!"
"Where is Bilbo?" Bombur's voice sobered them as they looked around.
"I don't... I don't think he was on the platform with us," Y/N said, wracking her brain to remember.
"Typical burglar," Thorin all but spat. "Must've snuck off to save himself."
The look Y/N shot the king was vicious enough that the other dwarves nearby shrank back. He stared back at her silently, not amending his words. After a moment, she turned on her heel and caught up with Gandalf to alert him that Bilbo was missing. Smitten as she might be with Thorin Oakenshield, she would not stand for his constant bullying of the hobbit. He could take his sweet Khuzdul words and shove them up his ass for all she cared if he was going to behave that way.
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As was often the case, Thorin Oakenshield was brooding. He brought up the rear of the company as they made their way toward the cave exit, Gandalf and Y/N leading at the front. It was the opposite of their usual positions. He found he did not like it, because when he could always see her, he could always think about how much she drove him absolutely mad.
He was angry that Azog was alive, and thanks to the Goblin King's warning, would be hunting him down, putting the entire party at risk. He was angry at Bilbo for abandoning them. Perhaps most of all, incredibly, he was furious that this woman, Y/N, was the most insolent, childish, and petulant fool he had ever had the displeasure of knowing. She did not obey orders, she did not run away from a losing battle, and she did not back down under even the icy stare of a king, making him look like a fool in front of his own subjects. She was monstrous. She was terrible. She was the most beautiful creature in all of Middle Earth, and Thorin was undoubtedly in love with her.
At last they reached the mouth of the cave, and he was nearly blinded by the light that shone through it. The group stepped through the cave's mouth and stopped under the cover of some trees a few meters off, taking a moment to catch their breaths and mend small wounds. Thorin found he could not sit even for a moment.
"We mustn't linger here," his tone was laced with agitation as he directed his words towards Gandalf, refusing to look at Y/N. He could tell she was still staring daggers at him. "Azog will be hunting us with a pack of orcs and wargs. It does not matter how far ahead we are, they will sniff us out and they will be faster. They will be upon us in no time."
"But what about Bilbo?" asked Ori sheepishly. "Shouldn't we wait an hour, in case..."
Thorin rounded on the dwarf who shrank back at the infuriated look in his eyes. He was about to unleash the foulest of curses against the stupid hobbit when the stupid hobbit himself emerged from the tree line, shocking everyone, especially Thorin.
"Erm, hello," Bilbo said nervously, wringing his hands as he stepped forward. "It seems I slipped through the cracks."
The dwarves erupted in a cheer and swarmed the hobbit happily, bombarding him with questions about what had occurred. Thorin watched Y/N catch Bilbo in a tight embrace. Over his head, she shot Thorin a sharp look. Watch your tongue, it said. I was right about him. The king turned away, bristling with irritation.
"Let's move!" He shouted crossly, and the others, picking up on his foul mood, hastily gathered their things and followed him as he led them on.
The moved quickly as the sun went down, fear crawling up the back of Thorin's neck. Destiny nipping at his heels. A howl sounded in the distance.
"What was that?" Y/N's voice rang out from behind him, sounding slightly panicked. She was nearer to him than she usually walked and sounded more fearful than he had ever heard her. He glanced at her over his shoulder. Her knuckles were white as they gripped her knives and her face was sickly pale.
"Most likely a warg," he answered, and she shuddered visibly.
"I hate wargs," she spat under her breath.
"Well well, would you look at that. She actually is afraid of something," Fili teased, ribbing her. She didn't crack a smile, only gripped her daggers harder as another howl rang out.
"They're getting closer," she whispered, finding Thorin's eyes. And then the orcs descended.
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alesunlimited · 5 years ago
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For all @alvaradostreetbrewery lovers we have #instock #planestrainsandipas #SpookyJuice #Strata #DoubleHaolePunch #ipa #doubleipa #kettlesour #paleale #sfcraftbeer #craftbeer #pacheightssf (at Ales Unlimited) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3-WToOJV6X/?igshid=n4pmnxlmg2u8
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heart-buzz · 5 years ago
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got a mod on Skyrim that turns ectoplasm into "spookyjuice"
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zeruch · 7 years ago
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A little end of the week #drinkanddraw with some @alvaradostreetbrewery #spookyjuice #DIPA, and a #sketch #drawing referencing #sktchyapp user "Phil Albert" with a #dayofthedead / #diadelosmuertos motif. #art #skull http://ift.tt/2zgGbhb
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foryourhealth666 · 8 years ago
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#spookyjuice
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spookyjuicefiction · 3 years ago
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A King's Bounty, Pt. 4
Universe: The Hobbit/LOTR (films)
Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x female!Reader
Description: Y/N is a bounty hunter sent to kill the exiled King Under the Mountain, but makes a deal that will benefit them both. What she doesn’t know is that this deal might change both of their fates.
Masterlist
A/N: Finally know where I'm going with this one woo! Lots of fluff!!!
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of nudity but nothing crazy.
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For the next few hours, Y/N could not shake this morning's conversation with Thorin from her mind. It had been more casual than any they had shared before, perhaps even verging on flirtatious. She was sure she had seen him glancing down at her lips as if he might want to kiss her. Her head was reeling with the idea, stomach flipping at the thought of his lips pressed against hers--or worse, every dwarf in the camp seeing it happen. She shuddered imagining the relentless teasing she would certainly endure from Fili and Kili alone.
The terrain had become increasingly uneven as they reached the mountains, so the company was unusually quiet so as to keep their breaths. At length, they crested a large hill and paused at the top, wiping away the sticky, uncomfortable sweat one gets when the air is cold but your coat is too warm. Y/N's eyes snagged on Thorin as he swept his long hair over his shoulder and threw back his cloak, allowing his strong arms some fresh air. Blushing, she looked away before letting her mind wander any further about his good looks.
"Well, would ye look at that," said Oin with a whistle. Everyone looked at him curiously. "D'ye see that steam rising up through the trees there? I'd bet my best axe that there's a hot spring."
Excited chatter broke out amongst the company at this, and two scouts went down to see if Oin was right. They peeked back through the trees grinning broadly and waving the party toward them; it seemed everyone would be having a hot bath today.
Cutting through the trees, the party reached the edge of the spring which sloped gently down like a riverbed. The dwarves gleefully began dropping their packs and tossing off their boots and clothes to wade in, remarking cheerfully about the water's warm temperature. Y/N picked her way up the stream a bit towards a cluster of bushes and chose to undress in their relative privacy. She pulled her hair brush and a chunk of soap out of her pack and carried them into the stream with her, relaxing as the warm water lapped around her sore ankles and knees.
Sighing, she began lathering herself with the soap as she sunk her aching body into the steaming spring. It was such a lovely, relaxing moment in all the chaos of the trip, sunlight trickling through the swaying tree branches and the dwarves splashing merrily a few meters away. She dragged the brush through her hair as she watched the party all try to pull Bilbo into a game of some sort.
Her eyes found Thorin; he was sitting apart from the others, as usual, and looking on with an unreadable expression. Above the water line, she could see a finely muscled chest covered in a neat patch of dark curls. His arm muscles rippled as he stretched them out in the water and lifted his hands to comb through his own course hair. He frowned as his fingers snagged. With a breath, Y/N started towards him, careful to keep her breasts below the water as she moved through the water.
He turned toward her as she approached and dropped himself lower into the water as if he, too, was embarrassed by his nakedness. Wordlessly, she outstretched her hand, offering him the hair brush. He took it gently with a nod and again set to work on his long, brown locks. Y/N wondered if she should drift away from him and give him privacy, but she found it difficult to do so. There was something about his presence that drew one close, made people want to watch and listen to him. Though he was so often sullen and silent, the times where he did speak were moving and fascinating. So she lingered near him, watching as he worked the brush through his hair. The other dwarves' game had taken them further down the stream, and a soft quiet settled around Thorin and Y/N as the stream bubbled.
A frown crossed Thorin's face as he hit a particularly matted section on the back of his head that he could not reach well. Y/N did not stop to think the better of it before she took another step toward him and asked,
"May I?"
He regarded her carefully as though trying to determine whether she might complete her bounty after all, but eventually he handed her back the hair brush and turned around. Another step forward and she was right behind him. Cautiously, she caught his locks in her fingers and began working the brush through the knots and tangles that he could not reach in the back.
"Shit, sorry," she cursed as a particularly large knot yanked his head backwards and he grunted in surprise. Without thinking, she ran her fingers over the spot on his head where it had yanked to soothe it. She saw Thorin's shoulders relax at her touch and heard a small sigh, almost imperceptible over the babbling of the water around them.
"Gentle as a bounty hunter," he grumbled, but there was joking and warmth in his tone.
With the knots combed through, she drew the brush to the back of Thorin's head and stroked down gently so that the bristles lightly scratched his scalp, following them with her fingers. She smiled as he leaned into her touch with another sigh.
They sat like that for a few minutes, quietly soaking in the hot water while she brushed the king's hair. It occurred to her that this was one of the more intimate moments of her life and her cheeks flushed a little, remembering that they were both naked. Oddly, though, it did not feel uncomfortable. Perhaps they had both needed a small moment of quiet relief.
At last, Thorin let out a low chuckle and turned around.
"I nearly dozed off just now," he admitted. "I... thank you. That was lovely."
"Any time," Y/N tried to reply breezily, but her mouth had gone dry. The relaxed atmosphere was gone, replaced by an unnamed tension that crackled as their eyes met.
"You continue to surprise me," he murmured, more to himself than to her. Sighing once more, he took a step back and turned away. "I, err, shall look away while you get out. We ought to keep moving." With that, he started off towards the others. Y/N climbed out of the spring and shook herself dry, pulling her clothes back on in the cluster of bushes. Carefully, she packed the hair brush back in her pack, suspecting there may come a time when she might wish to use it again sometime soon.
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As it turned out, the afternoon in the hot springs was to be the last moment of relaxation for the company for some time. Thorin led his kin through more rough terrain until they were in the mountains in earnest, trekking dangerous paths laid thickly with ice and snow. He frowned to himself as he considered their situation: the dwarves were biologically conditioned for such weather with their natural warmth and insulation, but Y/N and the blasted Hobbit would surely catch frostbite after too much time in the snow. He needed to focus if they were going to make it out of this alive.
Thorin's temper grew irritable as they pressed on. He barely spoke to anyone and kept a relentless pace up the mountain. He could hear the others murmuring behind him about his demeanor but he paid it no mind. The truth was that for the first time on this journey, he felt truly afraid. Afraid that they might all keel over from starvation or exhaustion and die of frost bite in the snow. Afraid that someone would lose their footing and fall off of the cliffside. Afraid that the damn burglar would slow them all down too much. Very, very afraid that he might not feel Y/N's fingers through his hair again if she did not make it over the mountain.
And then it got worse. The party found themselves in the middle of a fight between a group of frost giants who were chucking balls of rock and ice at each other, shattering pieces of the mountains and creating avalanches. Thorin tried to tamp down his panic as he looked back at the bedraggled group shuffling behind him. The dwarves looked miserable, but Thorin's stomach sank at the sight of Y/N. Her blue lips were pursed with determination, but he could see that her entire body was wracked with shivers in spite of Kili and Fili pressing themselves against her from either side.
"We have to find shelter!" Someone yelled. "The human and the hobbit are not going to make it!"
"I'm f-f-f-f-f-fine!" Y/N spat back, taking a labored step forward. Thorin's heart twisted with an unfamiliar pain: admiration mixed with adoration mixed with abject terror.
"We cannot stop!" Thorin called back. "It is no safer!" The company lurched forward as another shower of frozen rock fell overhead, nearly burying them. They continued dodging for what seemed like forever as they pressed forward, pulling each other back from the cliff's edge. Thorin wondered if Y/N had any toes left. It made him sick to think about it.
"Here, in here!" Someone behind him called. He whipped around and saw a cave opening. Several of the dwarves were already shoving Bilbo and Y/N through it. Thorin took in a breath to yell at them for disrespecting his orders, but the curse died in his throat at the sight of Y/N's cheeks turning purple. Reluctantly, he followed in behind them.
The sudden silence was shocking. Thorin's ears still seemed to be stinging with the sound of the whipping wind, now only heard in the distance. The cave made him feel uneasy as he looked around, and he felt immensely frustrated that they could not press on. He shot a murderous look towards Bilbo as he went and sat in a corner. It was easy to be angry at the hobbit; easier, he realized, than being angry at himself for how much he cared for Y/N's well-being. As king, he should have thrown her to the snow so that their quest not be stunted by her weakness. But it seems it was his own weakness now that interfered.
The group had started a small fire and sat Y/N close to it, piling their coats on top of her. Thorin frowned. She was still shivering, her eyes glazed over as if she saw nothing at all. The king felt torn, wanting to go to her and tend to her himself, but fearful of his kin seeing his weakness for the girl. Instead, he allowed Fili and Kili to warm her and feed her and stroke her hair, trying to get her to blink and come back to reality. It hurt him to watch, so he turned away, his stomach a bundle of nerves.
At length, Y/N thawed out. Thorin's head snapped toward her when he heard her voice after an hour or so of sulking. It was quiet and strained as she thanked Bofur for a ration he handed her. She seemed to crack a joke toward his nephews because they chuckled and nudged her playfully. Thorin watched as she demanded that all of the dwarves take their cloaks back, insisting that she was fine and that they all needed to keep warm as well. Finally, everyone began settling down to sleep, but Y/N stayed seated by the fire. When all the other heads lay on the ground, she at last made eye contact with Thorin.
He watched her clear her throat as she rose and padded carefully over to him.
"May I join you?" she looked sheepish, her voice like a mouse's. Thorin realized he must still be wearing the murderous expression he had adopted all day.
"Of course," he replied gruffly, making room for her. As she was now no longer by the fire, he removed his cloak and wrapped it gingerly around her. She protested.
"Thorin, really, I'm alright-"
"Just wear it. Please." He sounded harsh and exhausted, even to his own ears. His body was stiff as a board as he settled back into his position.
With a steadying breath, she kept her head bowed as she said, "Thorin, I am very sorry to be slowing you down. You cannot imagine the guilt I feel knowing that without me and Bilbo, you all could have pressed forth tonight. I hope that I might make it up to you one day."
Thorin sighed, gritting his teeth. "There is no use fretting over it now. What's done is done."
Out of the corner of her eye, he saw her nod. She looked miserable. He even thought he saw her lip twitch as though she might cry. Oh, please do not cry. Thorin was enough of a nervous wreck without making the object of his affections weep in a freezing cave.
Cautiously, he leaned into her slightly, pressing the warmth of his arm into hers. He relaxed his posture as she returned the pressure. He slipped his hand under his cloak and found hers balled into a first. He caressed it gently, asking for permission to hold it. She uncurled her fingers and he wrapped the freezing digits into his large, warm palm. He could feel callouses on her fingers, but the skin on the back of her hand was more soft than he could have imagined. He traced it with his thumb as she laid her head on his shoulder.
As when she had brushed his hair, Thorin's heart fluttered. It felt almost silly to an old warrior like him. Never had he had the desire to pursue such pure and genuine affection, and yet he could not deny the warmth that bloomed in his chest around Y/N. It seemed that he'd been chasing her around the corners of his dreams since she had first withdrawn her hood at the Prancing Pony, he at once enamored by and fearful of the power she instantly held over his heart. It was a distraction to his mission at hand. And yet, he was not sure he could go on without her now that she was there.
"I am grateful you still have your fingers, mizimelûh. I thought perhaps you might have lost one," he murmured into her hair.
"You have not yet seen my toes. What does that mean?"
His voice was husky and low as he replied. "It means, 'jewel of all jewels'." He planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I would be happy to hold those as well should you fear them to fall off."
She chuckled, leaning further into him, wrapping her other hand around his elbow and hugging his arm to her. Thorin thought his heart might burst with the sweetness of it.
"I am no jewel, more like a rusted hunk of copper," she sighed. "Certainly not sitting next to you, the king of kings." She yawned as they settled back against the rock. He felt her grasp on him slacking as she began to doze off.
He leaned his lips to hear ear and whispered, "Well, you are very precious to me."
He looked down and saw her lips drawn up in a small smile. As sleep began to take hold, she breathed, "And you to me."
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alesunlimited · 6 years ago
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@alvaradostreetbrewery #spookyjuice #inthahouse #halloween #craftbeer #tenderloinsf #newenglanddoubleipa (at Beer Basement) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpn0Ts-B63t/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13l59q80220jl
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pixelian · 12 years ago
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This might be kind of an odd question, but would you happen to have any goat pixels lying around? C:
goats! i can look up some goats!
here are some to tie you over while i look for more
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spookyjuicefiction · 6 years ago
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The Black Diamond - Chapter 2
MASTERLIST
A/N: This one has Smut Lite™ (aka Bucky solo in the shower... you’re welcome) so please proceed with caution! Also a kind of very serious life/death situation convo about teenagers at the end that could be distressing. And swearing. And it’s kind of long. 
BUCKY BARNES X READER
Her eyes flickered from Steve to Sam to Bucky for a few seconds before turning her attention back to the makeup and the martini.
“I never expected someone as famous as the Avengers would come by to catch my little act,” she said coyly to her own reflection.
“Well, it was worth the trip. And it was quite a long trip,” Bucky blurted out before Steve could open his mouth. He felt his friends’ eyes on him as he continued, unable to hold it in and taking a step towards her. She was magnetic, drawing him to her, and he was powerless to resist. “What’s a... talented girl like you doing all the way out in the middle of nowhere?”
“Ah, well,” she was grinning now, swirling the martini with one hand and dusting eye shadow off a brush with the other, “the gigs in New York and Chicago aren’t so good anymore. No room for little old me. And hey, the crime-fighting business must be going under, too. A bird told me Natasha Romanoff is washing dishes in my kitchen. I didn’t realize you all were out of a job?” She looked up at them again, smiling sweetly and blinking exaggeratedly with gigantic false eyelashes.
“Try again, doll,” Bucky replied smoothly, although his heart was hammering. He crossed his arms so that no one could see his hands shaking. “A little bird told us there was a dynamite act we couldn’t miss at The Black Diamond, so here we are. Sorry, your roses dried up in the hundred-degree heat.” He returned her coy smile.
Finally, she turned on her stool and stood up to her full height. She was a Grecian statue, draped in a silken robe with ringlet curls brushing her cheeks in the soft, yellow light. She looked feminine and sweet as cherry pie, yet strong, like the marble she was made of. She looked him up and down for a moment, grinning wickedly, like a cat playing with her mouse before she bit its head off. He would have died willingly. Then she strode over to one of several clothing racks lining the room and began rifling through them.
“Very charming, Sergeant Barnes,” she cooed in a voice like taffy, plucking a lacy set of red lingerie from the rack. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. However,” she tossed him a look over her shoulder, “I must ask you to leave this town immediately.”
Bucky, Steve, and Sam all raised their eyebrows in surprise. Bombalurina fixed them each with an intense stare in turn.
“I know why you’re here, and I know what you’re looking for. You’re not going to get it. So I think it’s best you leave before things… escalate. Since you’re all such big fans, I hope that you won’t disappoint me.” She strode back over to the vanity and downed the remainder of the martini before turning back to them, her coy smile again fixed firmly in place. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to prepare for the... after-hours.” With that, she turned on her heel and disappeared behind a partition in the corner of the room, lingerie in hand.
The Avengers exchanged looks and, shrugging, Sam and Steve started towards the door. Bucky knew he should follow, but he found it impossible to leave the radiant glow of her presence. He watched the silk robe fling over the top of the partition and his mouth went dry with the knowledge that she was naked behind it. He should leave, needed to leave, and yet his feet would not move.
“What if I wanted to stay for the after-hours?” he blurted, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Since when did he speak--at all--much less to women? A melodious chuckle rang out from behind the screen that made him want to join the circus if it would make her do it again.
“Well, Sergeant, you’d have to pay quite the pretty penny.” Bombalurina stepped out from behind the partition in the red lingerie, fixing him with the wicked cat grin again. He couldn’t keep his eyes from roving over the curves of her figure and the way the scalloped lace shaped her like a pornographic picture frame from heaven above. She bent down to hook the garter to her thigh-high stockings, looking up at him through her lashes. “Although, for the look on your face alone, I might just give you a discount.”
“Buck,” Steve’s voice cut through the room, making Bucky conscious of the tightness of his pants, and he looked away from her, from the sun, and blinked the vision away. He had been right. It did hurt. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Nodding, Bucky walked towards the door, forcing himself not to look back at her again.
“Au revoir, soldier,” came the musical coo over his shoulder, and he shoved his way into the hall.
The guy behind the desk at the motel seemed annoyed to give them each a separate room, but he brightened up at the hundred-dollar bill Steve produced from his wallet “for his trouble”. Inside the dingy room, Bucky dropped his bag on one bed and headed straight for the bathroom, turning on the shower. He needed to clear his head.
Steve had been tactful on the ride to the motel, not saying a word, but Bucky could tell Sam was straining not to crack jokes at his expense. Just as Sam opened his mouth, Steve had cut in.
“It’s been a long day, let’s just get some rest. We can rendezvous with Nat in the morning and figure out the next move. I’m sure she will be… fired, after tonight.”
Now, Bucky stood in the hot water with his eyes closed for a few minutes, allowing it to soak his shoulder length hair and run down his metal arm. What the hell had gotten into him? What was it about Bombalurina that turned him downright insane? Sure, she was beautiful, but it felt like more than that. He had met plenty of beautiful women. What was different about her?
Behind his eyelids, he could see her perfectly, as if the image was burned there. Her pulling up the stockings in the lingerie, her taking off the sequined dress on the spotlight stage. Her eyes as they locked on his on her final, alluring pose. The shapes her lips made as they said “Sergeant Barnes.”
When he opened his eyes, he found that he was rock hard. To anyone else, this might not be a surprise after fantasizing as he just had, but he had scarcely felt sexual in decades. Bombalurina had awoken something within him that had been long dormant in the aftermath of his days as the Winter Soldier. Cautiously, he took hold of himself, letting out a low groan and closing his eyes to picture her again. It didn’t take long. A few more mental reverberations of “very charming, Sergeant Barnes” and “au revoir, soldier” had him coming, hard, over the shower drain at his feet.
Twenty minutes later, he lay face up on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He hardly slept anyway, what with the nightmares, but this was a whole new level of insomnia. He felt a little guilty that he had thought about her as he jerked himself off, but he got the feeling that if she knew, she might like it. The thought made his pants twitch again and he threw his arms over his face with a frustrated groan. What the fuck is happening to me?
He tossed restlessly for a few hours, losing consciousness once or twice and sighing irritably twice or twenty times. At length, he looked over to digital clock on the nightstand. 5:08 AM. With another irritable sigh, he dragged himself out of bed and put on the first clothes he found in his bag: jeans and a black t-shirt. Shoving on his boots and grabbing the room key, he stumbled out into the brown desert on foot.
After some time walking, he was drawing near to The Black Diamond. It looked eerie and abandoned in the gray light of the creeping sun. Bucky noted there were still several cars in the parking lot, and he shuddered at the thought of what these patrons might still be doing at this hour.
The walk had allowed his mind to clear a little, and as he made his way around the building, inspecting it, he tried to bring the facts they had discovered last night into focus. The Black Diamond was so exclusive that members of the CIA and the government came to see Bombalurina, some with and some without their wives. There was something fishy going on, and Bombalurina knew all about it. Bombalurina wears lingerie to the “after-hours” where people have to pay a pretty penny. Bucky frowned at the implications of that information.
He picked his way to the back of the building, where a line of cars were parked in a neat row: presumably, the employees’. Right in the middle of the line, backed into a spot, was a cherry-red Cadillac convertible that must have been from the 1950’s but was in mint condition. Smiling slightly, Bucky had a sneaking suspicion who this car belonged to. A pair of black fuzzy dice hung from the rear-view mirror, and a huge, fur coat was tossed haphazardly across the back seat. Rounding the car, Bucky chuckled when the license plate confirmed his suspicions. “BMBLRNA”.
Just then, the back door of the building flew open, revealing a young woman gesturing him urgently to come. Here goes nothin’, he thought, and approached the door.
Following the girl, Bucky tried to get his bearings as to where they were inside The Black Diamond. He pictured the layout in his head as they climbed a set of narrow stairs in a back hallway, and realized that they must be over Bombalurina’s dressing room. There was another red door, this one with a peep hole instead of a star, and the girl unlocked it and gestured him inside.
“She’s on the patio,” the girl all but whispered before hurrying back down the hall.
Bucky spun around and took in the apartment. It was large and open, with the kitchen, dining, and living spaces all in one area. There was a door to the side that he imagined must be the bedroom. The style and decor was not unlike the rest of the club, although brighter thanks to the warehouse windows lining one side of the room. He located the patio door and opened it, stepping out into a courtyard enclosed by walls, but sunny and bright nonetheless. Ahead there was a lush, green garden of planters and pots growing flowers, fruits, and vegetables.
“What do you think of my car?” The voice came from the right and he turned toward it hungrily, nearly staggering at the sight of her. She was draped across a chez lounge in a white, gauzy robe that barely skimmed her thighs. Beneath it he could see only a sheer nightgown and he swallowed thickly, dragging his eyes to her face. But that was worse. She wore no makeup, only the light of the morning sun which had risen in earnest now. She held a teacup and saucer up to her lips and made a show of taking a delicate sip.
“Do you always leave your mink out for anyone to find?” Bucky asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets and stepping towards her. He wondered how he looked to her. Did she find him… attractive? The thought made him suddenly very self-conscious of his metal arm.
But she was giggling, motioning for him to sit down and leaning forward to pour another cup from the pot on the table. “Occasionally. But that’s why I have cameras out back. I’d have to kill anyone who touches my car.” She liked it when he played with her, he thought as she gave him the coy smile again. He took the cup politely from her when she offered it and was pleased when the aroma of coffee, not tea, hit his nostrils. He nearly downed it in one sip.
“I thought you were leaving,” she said, cocking her head slightly, the teacup hovering over the saucer.
“I’m… finding it hard to stay away,” he admitted, unable to meet her eye. After a moment, he shrugged and gestured at the tall walls around him. “Perhaps it’s the beautiful scenery.”
Her laughter was music. She looked at him for a long moment before saying, “James, I can’t help you. Whatever you think you’re here to find, it’s not going to happen.”
The use of his Christian name shook Bucky to his core, paired with her words that seemed to him like a double entendre. He clinked the teacup down a little too hard on the table.
“So you like the view here that much, huh?” She raised her eyebrows, surprised at his sudden tone. He continued, unable to stop himself. The pent-up sexual frustration and the sleepless night had caught up to him along with the jolt of caffeine. “You waited your whole life to be the biggest star in the middle of the desert, did you? I’m not buying it, doll. Nobody loves a guy that much. How much does he pay you to keep his secrets?”
Bombalurina pursed her lips, but if she was annoyed she hid it well. She sipped her coffee and remained silent. Bucky stood up and walked over to the garden, pacing as he pressed on.
“So who is he? Your pimp? He buy you that pretty car so you’ll get information from the horny CIA agents that come in here looking for an escape from reality?”
He turned back. She sat, stonefaced.
“That’s it, huh,” he murmured. “The most beautiful girl in the world, in the middle of nowhere. One night for them at The Black Diamond and you and your pimp have the nuclear codes by breakfast.” He could see her pressing her lips together harder, and he knew he was right. “And when he comes back he brings you a new fur coat and kisses you on the forehead and brings you 10 more underage girls to put in your show.”
At that, her beautiful face turned harrowing, an angry harpy mother ready to kill for her children. And suddenly, with her next words, he realized he had it all wrong.
“Why do you think I’m still here? Why do you think I do it? Do you think he hasn’t hurt me so many times now that I’m immune to it? I do it because he turns on them!” She meant the girls. The young girls. Bucky felt his stomach drop like a stone, horror dawning on him as he remembered the girl who had brought him up the stairs, the one behind the desk, the ones carrying drink trays. He remembered what Steve said about them having hard lives. Bombalurina pressed on. “If I don’t get the information he wants, he hurts them. Those girls...” she choked down a small sob, “I’m all they have. Do you understand? I have to run the club, make the money, fuck the old men, and do my job. Or they die.”
Bucky fell to his knees in front of her, taking her hand in his flesh one and squeezing it gently. She was crying a little, but it was somehow dignified and graceful. 
“I’m going to save you. And the girls.” He squeezed her hand, and he felt her squeeze back a little bit. “But you need to tell me everything. You need to tell me who he is. And then we’re going to kill him.”
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spookyjuicefiction · 6 years ago
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The Black Diamond - Chapter 1
MASTERLIST
A/N: Kind of a long setup, but it’ll be worth it, I promise. No smut yet! Just a little tasteful burlesque striptease.
BUCKY BARNES X READER
Brown, brown, and more brown. Bucky scowled out the back seat window at the desert which seemed to scroll by on loop like an old movie background. A cactus here, a tumbleweed there. And then again. Welcome to The Middle of Nowhere, Somewhere In America.
“We’ve got to be getting close,” Steve took his eyes from the road momentarily to Natasha, who was sitting shotgun and studying a huge map spread across the dashboard. Cell phone service had disappeared an hour ago, and GPS along with it. Not that the place they were looking for existed on Google Maps. Natasha only frowned.
“If we get stuck out in this wasteland, I’m going to kill you, Rogers,” groaned Sam, peering over Nat’s shoulder. “You said you knew where it was!”
“If the map is accurate, we should be coming up to it any minute now,” Steve replied calmly. “Let’s review the plan in the meantime. Nat?”
Although Bucky could only see the back of her head, he could tell she was rolling her eyes. “You three are escaping your wives in Phoenix for a boys’ getaway up to this club Sam heard about from his buddy at work.”
“Sam?” Steve prompted.
Sighing, Sam sat back. “We picked up Nat hitchhiking on the side of the road. Her boyfriend dumped her, she’s homeless, and she’s desperate for a job. We don’t want to leave town until we know she’s settled in.”
“Good. Buck?”
Bucky looked back out the window into the brown dustland. “Natasha will infiltrate by getting in with the staff and finding out what they know about their employer. Meanwhile, we will befriend the other patrons and locals and gather intel that way. Once we can get a good layout of the place, we search for information.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” said Steve, for the millionth time. “If this guy really is ex-Hydra, he’s not going to be leaving his old paperwork just lying around for anyone to find. Luckily, our intel says news doesn’t travel fast out here and we’re unlikely to be recognized. Hopefully we can slip in and slip out before this guy gets back.”
“How do you know he won’t be there?” Sam asked.
“I don’t,” Steve admitted. “I’m putting trust in our informant. That’s why I brought so many of you. It’s only a club; if it gets ugly, I think we can handle it. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“Great,” Sam murmured, “sure, let’s trust the anonymous informant.”
“Check it out,” Nat pointed out the windshield and Sam and Bucky leaned forward to squint. In the distance, a building began to grow out of the horizon. As the car drew closer, they could see it was a fairly large, three-story warehouse, dropped in the middle of the empty landscape on the side of the dirt road. Further down, in the distance, was what appeared to be a small town: Bucky could make out two motels, a gas station, and a shabby grocery store. He wondered where the hell the people lived that worked there, since there was nothing else around.
The building had no sign, but dozens of cars were parked haphazardly all around it and people were lingering near the door, smoking cigarettes and God knows what else. Steve maneuvered the car into an inconspicuous spot and cut the engine, turning in his seat to look at his team.
“Okay. You ready?”
Bucky, Nat, and Sam nodded at him and then one another before stepping out of the car.
Bucky sucked in a breath as the scorching hot air enveloped him the instant he opened the door. He could see the air sizzling over the dirt in the distance, and he felt a pang of longing to be back at the compound, swimming in the cool lap pool. He tried to focus as they drew near to the warehouse, making mental notes of where there were service doors or the occasional boarded window in case they needed to make a quick getaway. A bouncer by the door, nearly as tall and muscular as Steve, gave them an irritated look before gesturing them vaguely inside.
The room inside was nothing like Bucky had expected. Instead of dusty wood floors and cement walls, there was plush plum carpeting and wallpaper decorated with fleur de lis and spiral patterns. Sconces lined the hallway, dripping with crystals that caught the muted light as they twirled in the gust of hot air that followed them through the door. They approached a mahogany desk manned by an attractive young woman who bestowed a sickeningly sweet smile onto them.
“Well, well, well,” she cooed in a voice that had to be faked, “What do we have here? We don’t usually get such good looking boys around these parts.” She winked at Bucky. “Are you here for the show?”
“They are,” Nat stepped forward, pushing her chest out, leaning over the desk and adopting a southern accent, “but I’m lookin’ for work. I ain’t as pretty as you, but maybe there’s something I can do?”
The girl behind the desk frowned at her at first, and then cocked her head. “Hmm. Actually, you might just be his type. I’ll see what I can do.” She snapped her fingers suddenly and two men in black suits appeared.
“See if we can find a job for this gal,” she said to them in the sweet voice, and they obediently led Natasha out of the room. Nat threw a last glance at them over her shoulder and tapped her wrist, their sign for “I got this, don’t worry”.
“Show’s standin’ room only tonight,” chirped the girl, turning back to them. “Sold out.”
“Wow,” said Sam, raising his brows, “does it usually sell out?” Bucky was apparently not the only one to think this was odd, considering the remoteness of the club.
“It does when Bombalurina performs,” the girl cooed with another wink. “Trust me, boys, you won’t wanna miss it.”
Steve, Sam, and Bucky were ushered by another pretty girl through a set of double doors into the lounge area brimming with people. The bar in the back was packed shoulder to shoulder, while the small round tables throughout the room were so crowded, the guys could hardly scoot through the room. They found a spot along the wall at the opposite side from the door where they could see the stage, which extended into a catwalk that cut the room in half. They stood in silence, politely shooing away a girl with a drink tray while they studied the room around them. To Bucky’s surprise, it was not just creepy older men in the crowd for the show, but women too, most of whom appeared dignified and well-manicured. It was strange to see so many high-society folks at this warehouse in the middle of the desert. What exactly was going on here?
“Most of these girls aren’t eighteen, much less twenty-one,” murmured Sam as another shot girl walked by, smiling at them shyly.
“Yeah. It’s too dark in here to tell, but I’ll bet most of them look like they’ve been through some stuff. You don’t end up working out here if you’ve had an easy life,” Steve responded, sounding worried.
Just then, the room went black as the spotlights blasted the stage with light, illuminating a short, thin man with oiled back hair and a glittering tuxedo. He was wearing more makeup than nearly any woman Bucky had ever seen in his life.
“Hello and good evening to all of you freaks, geeks, chics, and sharks!” he boomed into the microphone, and was greeted with loud laughter and applause. “My name is Luxardo and I am pleased as punch to be your host for the evening! Gird your loins, clutch your pearls, and loosen your belts because you are in for a night of tantalizing beauty and sensual sexuality that will take your breath away!”
Bucky ground his teeth as Luxardo yammered on for another few moments, cracking dirty jokes that had the crowd laughing with delight and Steve blushing scarlet. When the first number came out, a troupe of scantily-clad dancing girls, Sam leaned over and whispered, “Maybe you ought to turn your back, Cap. Wouldn’t want to offend these girls’ delicate sensibilities.” Steve slugged him, and even Bucky had to chuckle a little.
Scantily clad dancing girls turned out to be the majority of the program, to no one’s surprise except perhaps Steve, and Bucky had become fidgety and restless by the time Luxardo returned to the microphone over an hour later.
“Dearly esteemed guests of The Black Diamond, we humbly thank you for supporting our little show. And as the sweetest, richest, most decadent dessert we could offer, please enjoy our final number: the Queen of Diamonds herself, Bombalurina.”
A hush fell over the crowd in such an odd way that Bucky felt himself snapping to attention. The stage went dark, and then one, single spotlight lit center stage. A sensual, jazzy tune began to play, and a woman began emerging from the floor with her back to the audience. When she was fully above the stage, the music paused dramatically. In the instant that she spun around to face the room, the music crescendoed and the stage lit up in blues and pinks, showing her in full, technicolor detail.
That was the first moment of Bucky Barnes’s life.
He was sure of it. He had never existed, never breathed, never seen a single thing, until this very moment. Until he saw her for the first time.
He forgot everything. He went deaf. All he could do was look at her, watch her as she sauntered down the stage in her glittering, sequined dress. All he ever wanted to see again was the way her red lips moved along with some music that he could no longer hear. It didn’t matter, nothing did, so long as her eyes, her hair, and her skin existed in the world. In his world.
He watched the number as if in a dream, foggy and surreal as though under water, and he could not move nor even feel his body. First she was only dancing, and then she began taking off her clothes. First gloves, then dress, then, hook by hook, the corset that held the secret of her chest from him. Somewhere, the recesses of his mind told him he should look away, but he could not bring himself to do it. She turned, swaying back to the spot where she started, and planted her feet. On one beat, she tore open corset and dropped it to the ground beside her. On the next beat, the final beat, she spun around, hitting a stunning pose with her pastied breasts exposed -- and locking her eyes with his.
The room erupted into cheers around Bucky as he stood motionless and transfixed, their eye contact intense and certain. Bombalurina stood still too, locked in her pose, and he was sure he saw her cock her brow at him before she broke the spell and turned to take her bow.
“Wow,” he heard Steve breathe beside him and turned to his friend, blinking away the dream, “she’s something, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, feeling a little woozy and leaning against the wall subtly for support.
“I guess we know why people come out here,” observed Sam, motioning to the way the whole room was on their feet, clapping and whooping and catcalling.
“You got that right.” The guys jumped at Natasha’s voice as she emerged from a curtain next to where they stood, bearing a tray and apparently collecting empty glasses. “The men are all in love with her, and the women all want to be her.” Reading their looks of surprise, she explained, “They were busy so they hired me on the spot. I’ll catch you guys back at the hotel later and we can debrief.”
Steve nodded briskly to her and watched her disappear into the crowd before turning to Sam and Bucky.
“We’d better get out of here. I saw a few guys from the CIA that might recognize us if they sober up enough.”
“The CIA?” Bucky asked incredulously. The Black Diamond apparently had some serious reach. Before they could take two steps, however, a man in a black suit appeared in front of them. He was tall and muscular, like the bouncer had been, and was holding a rather large martini.
“The Queen would like a word with you all in her dressing room,” he said quietly.
“The Queen?” Steve asked, surprised.
“Bombalurina,” the man replied. “She won’t be kept waiting. Come.”
The man in the black suit set off, weaving through the tables, and the guys could only exchange a quick look before turning to follow. He led them through a door behind a curtain that was apparently the backstage area, scattered with glitter and feathers and lingering puffs of perfume. Bucky, Steve, and Sam followed the man through a labyrinth of purple hallways until, at length, they reached a red door with a gold star on it. Bucky took in a breath as the man knocked gently.
From within, a woman’s voice called back, “Come in.”
The man in the black suit pushed through the door, the Avengers filing in behind him.
“Ah, thank you darling,” came the woman’s voice again. Presumably, she had been handed the large martini. Bucky found that he was afraid to look at her, as if it might hurt, like looking at the sun. At last, he slowly raised his eyes.
She sat with her back to them at a large vanity table, fussing with some makeup and sipping the martini. Finally, she looked up at their reflections in the mirror, a coy smile spreading across her perfect red lips.   
“Well. Captain America. Now, this is a surprise.”
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spookyjuicefiction · 7 years ago
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Serendipitous x Master List
Hi all - This is my very first fic ever! It looks really long but each chapter is only between 1-2.5k. I had a lot of fun writing it and I have more ideas to come! If you enjoy it I hope you will consider following, or let me know what you think! Thanks to all who have been reading so far, I’m stunned that people are actually enjoying my writing haha so I’m very thankful. :) You can also find me here on fanfiction.net if you prefer that layout. 
UNIVERSE: Marvel Cinematic U - as canon as can be when making up a story
PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x Reader (female)
STATUS: Complete!
SUMMARY: After S.H.I.E.L.D. crumbles and their files are made public (Post -Captain America, TWS), a moment of serendipity brings Y/N and the Winter Soldier to the same place when you both go looking for a disgraced psychologist for answers. Instead, you realize you can help each other out; you yourself are an experienced criminal psychologist who’s specialized in understanding and treating brain trauma, and he has all the info on HYDRA’s brainwashing techniques you need to publish the thesis that’s going to change your life. All you have to do is stay off the government’s radar and stay focused on the task at hand - hashing out the most painful memories of his long life. Sounds easy enough... until you fall for him. (angst / fluff / smut / slow burn)
WARNINGS: swearing, drinking alcohol, violence (you know, superhero stuff), allusion to assault/torture, mentions of trauma, SMUT (chapters 14-15) 
A/N: So, this idea came from obviously me imagining myself in the scenario, so the background for the Y/N character is oddly specific haha. Also I’m not a scientist, or psychologist, or in any way an expert on brain trauma so anything written about that is just gleaned from my general knowledge of it from being a true crime nerd. Also, I know absolutely nothing about the geography of Bucharest or Romania, so that is all completely made up. No sources were checked in the writing of this fic. ;)
Chapters
one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen / twenty / twenty-one / twenty-two
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spookyjuicefiction · 6 years ago
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Serendipitous - Chapter 20
MASTER LIST
BUCKY BARNES x READER
Warnings: angst, choking, some fighting stuff
A/N: OMG you guys I’m sorry for my hiatus! Things have been so crazy and I’ve had some writer’s block trying to figure out how to get through the rest of this. It feels good to get back to it! Reblog and share with your friends if you like it & let me know if you want to be on the tag list <3 Thanks for sticking with me!
_______________________________________________-
Before I could comprehend what had happened, Steve was already pushing me out of the room and down the hallway.
“You need to get out of here,” he told me urgently.
“No, we need to find Bucky!” I implored him, trying in vain to shrug his hands off of me as we neared the door that led to the stairwell.
“I will. But you need to go. If… if something happens to you, if he hurts you while he’s.... He’ll never forgive himself. It will make everything worse. You need to get to safety. Get down to the ground floor and get outside. Find somewhere to hide. Go!” He yanked open the door and shoved me into the stairwell in spite of my protests, shutting it behind me and barring it so that I could not open it. Cursing, I bolted down the stairs, finding each door on the way down locked with some kind of emergency safety mechanism. At last I reached the bottom floor and shoved into the exit door, crying out and blinking rapidly at the bright sunlight that blinded me as I nearly fell onto the sidewalk outside the building.
Almost instantly I was shuffled into the crowd of people evacuating the building and I had no choice but to run aimlessly along with the throng. I whipped my head over my shoulder, trying to gauge the size of the building and figure out where the Joint Counter Terrorist offices might have been, but it was impossible to tell from this insane angle as I was pinballed down the sidewalk. Throwing my elbows out, I pushed through the crowd back towards the building, heading around the corner towards the main entrance and pushed my way against the current of people and into the lobby. The room was an open plan cafeteria with abandoned coffee cups and trays littering the small, round tables that lined either side of the glass-domed space. I paused inside the door, catching my breath for a moment and trying to orient the offices from my location, when I heard the sounds of fighting coming from the other side of the lobby.
I ducked behind a half wall and peered around it as Steve, Natasha, and Sharon stormed in followed by Bucky. Only, it wasn’t Bucky. His blue eyes, usually so warm and full of light, were dead and cold, almost unseeing as he swung hard with the full weight of his metal fist. I watched in horror as the same man who had caressed me so gently, who had hummed while he washed china dishes, who had delicately turned the pages of paperbacks, pummelled his best friend with the force of a thousand men, aiming to kill. I was relieved to see that neither Sharon nor Natasha seemed to have guns on them, otherwise I was sure they would not have hesitated to use them. My entire body shook with fear as I watched Bucky knock them aside over and over as they continued to retaliate, him swinging tirelessly with that same dead look in his eyes. At length he slammed Natasha onto a cafe table, his immense fists tight around her throat.
“NO!” I cried, flinging myself out from behind the wall towards them. Bucky’s head whipped towards me but he did not let go of Natasha.
“Bucky,” I sobbed, “please, this isn’t you! You’re not what they put inside of you, Buck! Come back to me! Let go of her!”
His face did not change, but I thought I saw him cock his head slightly in confusion and he must have relinquished some grip on Natasha because she was able to kick out and knock him away from her, gasping for breath on her knees. Bucky’s full attention was on me now, though, and he began to stalk slowly towards me with his fists balled.
“Bucky,” I choked out. My instinct was to back away but I forced myself to stand in place, to face him. He won’t hurt me, I told myself over and over as he came towards me, but the hot tears streaming down my cheeks told a different story. “Bucky, it’s me. It’s Y/N. Don’t you remember? Remember Bucharest? Remember us?” I swallowed thickly, looking into his eyes. But they were not Bucky’s eyes. They were the eyes of the Winter Soldier.
He reached out and I shut my eyes as the cool metal closed around my throat. To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. The lyrics sprung to my mind as I wept softly, picturing Bucky, my Bucky, in my mind. Disheveled and gaunt on the ship, fierce as he carried me on his back through the streets, frightened and sad from a waking nightmare, passionate and warm in the throws of lovemaking, happy and serene as we lay quietly in bed together. Opening my eyes I looked up at him as his grip tightened.
“I love you,” I whispered.
He hesitated. It was only a moment, but I felt the instant his hands froze. For the briefest of seconds his eyes seemed to clear and he blinked quickly, looking me over, but then it was gone and the cold was back, and he was killing me.
“I love you, Bucky,” I choked, and everything went black again.
____________________________________________
I awoke. That, in and of itself, was astounding to me. The ground beneath me was hard and I winced as I tried to lift my head and felt pain in my neck. How am I not dead?
Slowly, I raised myself to a seated position against the wall and took in my surroundings. It was dark, but I could make out a room that appeared to be some kind of warehouse. There was machinery and discarded parts all around me. Across the room there was a lantern emitting a dim light and two figures were huddled around it speaking in hushed voices.
“She’s awake,” one of them said, and they came to squat beside me. I was relieved to see that one was Steve.
“Hey, there. You okay?” he asked me, his face grave with concern. I tried to nod but winced again in pain and looked inquisitively at the other man. “This is Sam Wilson,” Steve informed me.
“Falcon, if you’re nasty,” Sam quipped with a grim smile.
“What happened?” I rasped, and Sam held out a tankard of water which I gulped down gratefully.
Steve filled me in. He had managed to pull Bucky off of me just in time, and the fighting had ensued throughout the building and up onto the roof until he had, at last, managed to take Bucky down safely with a hard knock to the head.
“Cognitive recalibration,” Steve said with a crooked smile, and I felt like I was missing some kind of joke. “He’s knocked out in the next room, secure and out of the Task Force’s hands. But we’re under the radar now.” Sam had found me in the lobby and brought me here with him on Steve’s instruction. “If anyone can get through to him in this state, it’s you, Y/N.”
We spent the next few hours taking turns resting, Sam and Steve pacing in the doorway and waiting to see if Bucky would wake up as himself or as the Winter Soldier. When I finally managed to get to my feet I found a dirty lavatory in which to wash my face. In the dingy mirror I saw that my neck was ringed with dark bruises: I could clearly make out a thumb print that had been made with Bucky’s metal hand.
In the wee hours of the morning, I saw Steve’s head snap up as a groan echoed in the room next door. We exchanged worried looks before filing in.
Bucky was seated on the filthy floor with his metal arm trapped between two large piles of cinder block, his face caked in sweat and blood. The sight made my empty stomach roil and I had to tamp down the panicked urge to run over and fling my arms around him. He looked up, taking us each in in turn, his eyes widening on me and zeroing in on my dark neck, a gutteral noise of pain escaping his throat at the sight.
“What did I do?” he croaked, looking back at Steve with watery eyes.
Steve filled him in but I didn’t hear anything; all I could feel was relief. My Bucky was back, and I needed to hold him in my arms and feel the real him again. But Steve needed him more, so I had to wait my turn.
Bucky told Steve everything he could remember about the fake psychologist’s questions and about the other Winter Soldiers that were still on ice in Siberia. As he spoke, his sad eyes kept flicking over to me, all pain and regret and anguish, and I kept swallowing the lump in my throat over and over again.
At last they formed a plan and I shrank back against the wall as Steve freed Bucky from the cinder blocks and enveloped him an awkward embrace. Finally he looked over at me and swallowed.
“Sam and I will just.. Go and rest up,” he said, and backed out of the room with a skeptical Sam in tow.
Bucky turned to me at last and my heart shattered when I saw tears in his eyes.
“Doll,” his voice broke as he ran his flesh hand roughly through his matted hair, “I’m so sorry. I… I can never forgive… I...”
I ran to him, finally allowing my tears to fall as I wrapped him in a tight embrace and pressed kisses to his cheeks and neck.
“Don’t you apolog--”
“No,” he said flatly, grabbing my shoulders and holding me away at arms’ length. “I told you, I’m a fucking monster. I can’t… you have to stay away from me. I don’t know why Steve brought you here. It’s time for you to go home.”
I balked, bile and sadness and anger crawling up my bruised throat as I tried to wrangle out of his grasp. “No! You don’t get to say that to me, not after everything we’ve been through! After everything we did!” He looked away, ashamed and unable to meet my eyes. “Listen to me!” I was practically screeching by now. “I’m not going anywhere! I love you, you idiot! Do you not know that by now?”
He winced and I saw a tear streak down his dirty cheek. “But I hurt you! I almost fucking killed you!”
“THAT WASN’T YOU!” I escaped his clutching hands and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him against my chest. “I know you, the real you, and we’re going to figure this out together, and it’s going to be okay, because I fucking love you, Bucky!”
He collapsed into me finally, having no more fight left in his broken body. “I love you, too,” he croaked, “but I don’t deserve you.”
“Sergeant Barnes,” I snapped, pulling away and forcing his chin to look into my eyes, “you need to pull it together right now. There are plenty of people to hate and blame right now, and you’re not one of them. We get through this together, like we have been all along. I love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it. So let’s go get these fucking bad guys. Okay?”
The morning sun was beginning to light the room with a pale orange glow. Behind me, I heard footsteps and Steve clearing his throat.
“Sharon’s almost here,” he announced before retreating again, and I looked expectantly at Bucky. He was looking at me forlornly, the ghost of a smile playing at the corner of his lips.
“Okay, doll.” He looked worried still, but I took his hands in mine and slammed my lips hungrily into his. He responded tentatively at first, but gradually his lips parted and he sighed into a sweet, sorrowful kiss.
TAG LIST: @captain-chimichanga @allseasonssoldier @watchoutforfrostbite
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spookyjuicefiction · 7 years ago
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Serendipitous - Chapter 17
MASTER LIST
Bucky x Reader
A/N: HELLOOOO I am back on my bullshit! Sorry for the lengthy hiatus, the last few weeks have been very insane but I am here, I’m queer, I’m ready to give you all of the sexy fluffy angsty Bucky you deserve. I’ve been having some writer’s block on what’s next but I think I’m on back on track now. Also I have been trying to figure out where I’m going to end this fic, I’m thinking potentially pre-Infinity War because like, it’s just too much for my emotions to get into that. And then maybe I’ll come back to it after Avengers 4 if it applies? Idk, what do you guys think? Anyways, here is another fluffity-fluff chapter for now, hopefully going to be able to crank out a few more this weekend. :) Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think and if you want to be on the tag list!
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“Ho, ho, ho,” Bucky’s tired voice in the doorway made me whirl around from the stove with a smile.
“Who are you callin’ a hoe?” I teased him as he dumped an arm full of bags on the counter and reached out to embrace me. After a lingering kiss I handed him the glass of champagne I had poured in anticipation of his arrival. “Merry Christmas, Sergeant.”
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Barnes,” he said, clinking his glass to mine, and I hoped he was not paying attention to the way the phrase Mrs. Barnes made my heart skip to double-time as he took a large sip. He looked exhausted.
“I can’t believe you had to work on Christmas Eve,” I said, furrowing my eyebrows. He shrugged.
“Busiest day of the year for shipping things. And the time-and-a-half won’t hurt.”
I snorted at this. The rent on the apartment proved to be a drop in the bucket compared to Bucky’s income from the docks, and other than groceries and the occasional thrifted item, we were hardly spending a cent. Most of our free time these days was spent reading, listening to music, or--if we’re being honest--having sex.
“Hey,” he mock-pouted, “how else was I gonna get a nice Christmas gift for my best girl?” He pulled a small, gift-wrapped box out of his coat pocket and held it up teasingly, and my eyes widened. Smiling wickedly, he turned to the sitting area where we had erected a small, Charlie Brown-esque Christmas tree from the secondhand store on the coffee table. He placed the small box under the tree, stopping when he saw my small gift to him that was already nestled there. He turned back to me slowly.
“I don’t… I don’t think I’ve gotten a gift in seventy years,” Bucky admitted with a lopsided smile, and I felt my heart pang with sadness for him once again.
I cleared my throat. “Well, no pressure, then,” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes to mask their wetness and turning back to the stove. A moment later I felt his arms around my waist as he pressed a breathy kiss to the back of my neck that made me shiver.
“I would love anything that came from you,” he whispered in my ear, and my stomach did a little somersault. He gave my backside a squeeze before pulling away to go and take a shower. I hoped he was right.
We had our Christmas dinner and drank our champagne, reminiscing about holidays past and swapping funny stories. I was heartened to see that Bucky seemed to be regaining his old memories more rapidly, and that he was able to recall details such as the hideous house coat his grandmother used to wear when his family would open presents. After a considerable amount of chatting there was also a considerable amount of smooching which, naturally, carried us late into the evening. When we resurfaced, Bucky squinted at the clock, his face lighting up with a huge smile.
“It’s 12:15--officially Christmas!” Reaching out, he plucked up the two gifts from under the tree and handed mine to me, giving his own an experimental little shake while he grinned goofily. His joy was infectious and it made me feel warm and content, all snuggled up with him on the couch in our tiny, ramshackle apartment. Our own little hideaway.
“You first,” I told him, because I knew that he couldn’t wait much longer, and he began to carefully tear away the red and green printed paper. I held my breath, feeling suddenly nervous and squeezing my hands together in my lap as he lifted the lid of the palm-size cardboard box. He removed the leather bracelet from inside, holding it up in the dim light to examine the intricate braiding woven around an ivory bead carved into the shape of a wolf’s head.
“It made me think of you when I saw it,” I blurted quickly, “Because you’re… strong, and wild, and… beautiful. And always protect me fiercely.” I felt lame saying it, but when when Bucky looked up at me, his eyes were misted over and I realized that I had, somehow, nailed it.
He seemed to be struggling for words. He held the bracelet out to me and offered his flesh wrist for me to fasten it onto, blinking rapidly. When it was securely in place, he clutched my hands and pressed them to his lips.
“Thank you,” he murmured, his voice gravelly, “It means so much to me. I will cherish it always.” I smiled and leaned in to kiss him, feeling rather pleased with myself, before feeling butterflies in my stomach all over again in anticipation of opening my own gift. I settled back against the couch and fingered the edges of the gold paper, my heart skittering as I recognized the felt texture of a jewelry box underneath. Tossing the paper aside, I took in a breath before lifting the lid. Inside was a delicate gold ring with a crudely cut black onyx stone in the middle flanked by two smaller murky white quartz on either side.
“It’s not--you don’t have to wear it on your ring finger,” now Bucky was the one blurting and rambling. “I just thought it was so unique and interesting, like you, and also kinda fucked up, like me, and that if you wanted to, you could wear it to… to always think of me. Or as your fake wedding ring. Or whatever you want. Or you don’t have to wear it.” I looked up at him with my eyes swimming with tears: he was nervously running his hand through his hair, frowning and seeming to second guess his choice.
“Of course I’ll wear it,” I choked out, my voice thick with emotion as I slid the ring onto my left ring finger. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you, Buck. I love… it.” I chickened out of saying ‘you’ as I turned to look at him. We smiled warmly at each other with mutual relief at the success of our gifts and he scooped me up in his arms again in a big hug. Looking at my hand over his shoulder, I admired the way the ring glinted in its position of honor and felt my face heating at the mental image of walking down the aisle toward Bucky on a real wedding day. I squeezed my eyes shut and popped that bubble; in reality, the way things stood, that could never happen. But for now, this was enough.
We held each other quietly for a long while, listening to the Christmas music tinkling through the boombox speakers and admiring the winking lights on the scrawny little tree. Never in my life could I have imagined that this would be how I was spending the holidays, but once again I felt that sense of rightness. Bucky seemed to read my thoughts.
“This is perfect,” he whispered, kissing my cheek and running his fingers through my hair. I smiled and nuzzled against his chest, breathing in his warm scent and sighing contentedly.
Yes. Yes, it was.
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TAG LIST: @captain-chimichanga @allseasonssoldier (wait did you want to be tagged I completely forgot, I know someone else asked me and I think it was you?? Well you’re tagged anyway mwah mwah mwah)
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spookyjuicefiction · 7 years ago
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Serendipitous - Chapter 18
MASTER LIST
Bucky x Reader - I’m trying to finish it y’all, I have other ideas I wanna get to!
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January came and went, bringing flurries of fluffy snow that built up on the window sill and dragged in through the front door clinging to boots and scarves. February was worse: icy storms crept in during the nighttime, freezing the pipes and making the sidewalks treacherous to walk upon. Sometimes the howling wind outside would prompt Bucky’s nightmares, reminding him of the frozen landscape in Siberia where he had been held prisoner as the Winter Soldier, and he would wake shivering and sobbing in the night. These nights were terrible, but for the most part still we trudged on with our routine.
As March began to thaw and we could feel our fingers again, I wondered to myself how much longer we would be keeping this up. I had nearly finished my thesis by now, having been hard at work on it non-stop for months, and I was starting to worry what shape my life was going to take once I completed it and had nothing else to do. At the beginning of all of this, I never imagined we would be able to stay hidden for this long, although what I was expecting, I do not know. This plan was pretty half-baked. And now it was incredibly complicated, thanks to the fact that I had fallen in love with my test subject. So how much longer could I play house before reality was to set in?
The answer came in the first week of April. I was at the laundromat alone folding a load of towels while another load spun in the dryer, glancing every few moments up at the boxy old television mounted in the corner of the room that was flashing the news. My eyes widened and I nearly dropped the washcloth I was holding as the headline scrolled by: BOMBING AT THE VIENNA INTERNATIONAL CENTRE DURING THE SIGNING OF THE SOKOVIA ACCORDS.
“Hey, can you turn the volume up?” I asked the shop owner in Romanian. I was getting better at the language, but fortunately the news broadcast was in English.
“More than seventy people have been injured. At least twelve are dead, including Wakanda’s King T’Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier.”
To say my mouth went dry as a bone would be an understatement. It felt more like the floor had opened up and the pit of the earth had swallowed me whole. On the screen showed an enhanced image from security footage of Bucky--my Bucky-- with a hood drawn up walking away from the scene of the crime. But it’s impossible! He’s been here all this time! There’s no way he could have gone to Vienna for the day… and he would never do that! ...Would he? Fear and panic were surging through me as my brain jumped from thought to thought, confused and overwhelmed. I noticed that the shop owner was looking at me curiously, and I realized she was likely wondering if my “husband” that I sometimes do laundry with is the same man she had just seen on the tv.
Stay. Calm. Hastily I tossed the remainder of the towels in a pile and scurried over to the dryer to check the tumbling load. I paced in front of it, checking my watch and watching the tv out of the corner of my eye for developments on the story until it finally beeped. I scooped the clothes haphazardly into the bag still damp and scorching hot, giving the shopkeeper a quick wave as I scuttled into the street and hurried toward the apartment. I could have kicked myself then for not insisting that Bucky and I get burner phones in case of an emergency. We had grown too complacent in our quiet life to imagine what would happen if shit hit the fan.
Unless he didn’t want me to be able to contact him, because he was off committing crimes all this time. The thought sprung unbidden to my mind and I cursed, angry at myself for thinking so lowly of him but unable to shake it away. Was it possible he was betraying me all along? I didn’t want to believe it, but my analytical mind could not help but recognize that I had never once seen the docks where he said that he worked. And that he was, after all, The Winter Soldier.
Still, I reasoned, trying to blink away the tears that had risen to my eyes, there was no way in hell that he could have gone to Vienna and back without my knowing it. Time wise, it was just completely impossible. Even so, my hands shook violently as I maneuvered the key into the lock of number 13 and pushed the door open.
Bucky’s head whipped up from where he was crouching next to the dresser, and a strangled cry of relief tore from my throat as I realized that he was here. Here, with me, like he had always been, and not in Vienna. Not on the lam from committing a horrible terrorist attack. Hating myself for doubting him, doubting us, I dropped the laundry and ran to him, throwing my arms around him and allowing a few tears to fall.
“What the fuck is going on?!” I hissed at him, pulling away and getting a look at the fear in his eyes.
“I don’t know,” he said, frantically running a hand through his long hair, “someone’s trying to frame me for this.” He had evidently heard the news at work and come straight home.
“They have a photo of you,” my voice was high and panicky. “Everyone around here knows what you look like. They’ll come for us!”
Bucky did not disagree. “Which is why we need to pack a bag and get out of here, as quickly as we can. As soon as a tip comes in, they’ll be all over us. They might already be. The photo was in this morning’s papers.” He grasped my shoulders firmly and looked pleadingly into my eyes. “Pull it together and let’s go.”
I did as I was told, moving numbly around the apartment to gather my papers and some clothes, trying to ignore the lump in my throat as I passed around the room. Library books that would never be returned to Maria. The boombox that we would no longer dance to. The noisy bed in which we would never make love again. Pull it together, I tried to tell myself, taking a bracing look at the onyx ring on my left hand. We still have what’s most important: each other. Bucky pulled on a black baseball cap and a jacket over my favorite red henley shirt, giving me a comforting smile before nodding to the top of the refrigerator. The knife.
I had just snatched it up and tucked it safely into my back pocket when the door suddenly busted open with a loud bang! I dropped back in surprise, cowering behind the kitchen island.
Steve Rogers was filling the doorway of number 13 with his huge, muscular frame. Fully clothed in his Captain America gear, shield on his back, he took a cautious step into the room and eyed me curiously before turning to Bucky, who had come up to stretch his metal arm protectively out in front of me.
After a beat of silence, Rogers asked Bucky, “Do you know me?”
“You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, wondering what game he was trying to play. He had remembered Steve since I had met him.
“I know you’re nervous,” Rogers replied, “and you have plenty of reason to be. But you’re lying.” His eyes flicked over to me again, obviously confused by my part in this.
“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore.” Bucky’s voice was quiet and curt. I took a step closer to him, standing by my man. I would have fought anyone, including Captain America, to prove his innocence.
“Well, the people who think you did are coming here now, and they’re not planning on taking you alive,” the Captain said gravely, taking a step towards us. Bucky gently pushed me behind him and said slowly,
“That’s smart. Good strategy.” He glanced at me over his shoulder and gave me a little nod. Pulling my backpack on, I reached behind me and fingered hilt of the knife in my sweaty palm, wishing I knew how in the hell to use it. Bucky, meanwhile, was tugging off his gloves and checking his own pockets.
“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck,” Rogers urged, taking another step forward. Bucky sighed.
“It always ends in a fight.” Reaching down, he picked up his pack off the floor and shoved it into my shaking hands. He looked hard into my eyes, and I nodded with understanding. He was going to have to fight our way out of this. I was going to have to run.
“You pulled me from the river!” Rogers was growing impatient and urgent. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” Bucky said without looking at him. His eyes were still on me, and he reached out to brush away a stray tear that had fallen down my cheek with his flesh hand. I ghosted a kiss to the ivory wolf bead on his leather bracelet before we both turned back to face Steve Rogers, hand in hand.
“Yes, you do.” The eye contact between the two Howling Commandos was sad and meaningful for a few short seconds before the first grenade broke through the window, and all at once, our little world fell apart.
TAG LIST: @captain-chimichanga @allseasonssoldier @watchoutforfrostbite :)
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spookyjuicefiction · 7 years ago
Text
Serendipitous - Chapter 16
MASTER LIST
A/N: I’m so sorry for the long delay! I’ve been waiting to have some “me time” and trying to figure out what the next few chapters are going to be. This one is a lot of Bucky fluff and angst, and it’s a bit short, I need to get back into the swing of things. Let me know what you think and shoot me a message if you want to be on the tag list!
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When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was pleasantly surprised to find that, for the first time, Bucky was still snoozing softly. I watched him for a long while to memorize every inch of his face, for once at peace in the hazy morning light, and his long auburn hair tousled across the pillow. I counted the birth marks that dotted his chest and smiled at the few purple bruises I had left behind on his neck with my mouth the night before like a teenager in puppy love. Honestly, I felt like a teenager in puppy love as I stretched my arms and legs, feeling a delicious soreness in my thighs from the evening’s workout.
Carefully I extracted myself from Bucky’s tangled limbs and plucked up a t-shirt and a pair of underwear on my way into the bathroom. I was careful to choose one of the sexy, lacy pairs of panties that I was at first so annoyed to have packed from my apartment in Philly. Now, I sent up a prayer of thanks to the Patron Saint of Semi-Annual Sale at Victoria’s Secret.
As I washed my hands and face I looked at my own reflection, finally feeling ready to face the truth of what I would see there. My eyes were bright as stars, my mussed hair shiny and healthy, my skin glowing except for the love bites trailing down my own throat into the neck of the t-shirt that I now realized was Bucky’s. Leaning over the sink and meeting my own stare, I leveled with myself: after last night, there was no denying the feelings that had been skittering around my brain for weeks. The truth was, I was falling in love with Bucky Barnes. Unfortunately, Bucky Barnes was also The Winter Soldier. Which meant I was in deep, deep shit.
I could not bring myself to be worried though as I emerged from the bathroom and my gaze fell once again on Bucky’s sleeping form. So be it, I thought to myself as I padded quietly to the kitchen to brew the coffee. If Bucky Barnes is to be my downfall, I will gladly go down in flames.
I had been curled up on the couch with my coffee for a half-hour before I heard the bed springs creaking and Bucky’s groan as he stretched himself awake. He caught me watching as his naked form rose from the bed, and he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Like what you see?” he teased.
“Yes,” I admitted, biting my lip, “I do, actually.”
He chuckled as he pulled on a pair of boxers and went to pour himself a cup of coffee before joining me on the couch.
“I’m glad you got some sleep,” I told him as he lifted my legs to slip underneath them and placed them back on his lap when he settled into the cushions.
“Me, too. I guess you wore me out last night,” he said, winking and tickling the sensitive skin behind my knee and making me squeal.
“You’re truly a devil, James Barnes,” I fake-chastised him as he snatched my coffee mug out of my hand and deposited it hastily onto the table before pulling me upright onto his lap.
“But you like it, don’t you, bad girl?”
He caught me in a searing kiss that tasted like coffee as he ran his hands over my backside, slipping his fingers inside the waistband of my panties and running them along my belly to tickle me.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” he asked playfully, fingering the purple lace around my thighs and pulling back to ogle me. Giggling, I tugged up the hem of the t-shirt to give him a better look, but my laughter died when he froze, seemingly in terror.
“What?!” I asked in alarm, looking down at myself, as my face heated with whatever unknown shame I was about to discover.
“I hurt you,” he whispered. “Look.”
Indeed, on each of my hips bloomed a huge bruise in the shape of a large hand. The one on the left side was not too dark, mostly greenish and yellow, but the one on the right, which would have been made by Bucky’s metal hand, was black and blue. I winced as I looked at it, not because it was painful, but because it pained Bucky to see it.
“You didn’t hurt me,” I said quickly, pulling down the shirt and grabbing his shoulders. “It’s nothing, I’m completely fine. I bruise easily.” A lie, but a necessary one. “Honestly, Buck, I didn’t even notice until right now.” That was true. In the moment of passion there had been no pain, only pleasure.
But Bucky’s eyes were already clouding over and I clambored at him, desperate to keep him from retreating into himself. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I… I guess I don’t know my own strength, especially with… this. This monstrosity.” He curled his vibranium hand into a fist, bowing his head.
“No!” I cried a little hysterically, feeling a lump in my throat that I tried to swallow. Crying would only make him feel worse. “No, Bucky, you didn’t hurt me! Don’t you apologize to me. Don’t you dare apologize for anything about last night.” I threw my arms around his shoulders and buried kisses in his neck. He did not move, so I grabbed his metal arm in both my hands and kissed the clenched fist, trying to meet his eyes, pleading.
“I’m a monster,” he whispered, looking down, “and I always will be.”
“Stop that,” I snapped sharply, dropping his fist and roughly grabbing his chin, forcing him to look up at me. In his eyes I saw an ocean of pain, but his eyebrows shot up in surprise at my forcefulness. “You’re not a monster. You’re a good person, you always take care of me, you could never hurt me, you’re my--” I cut off, casting around for the right word. What was he to me?
“You’re my husband, dammit, and I care about you, you idiot. A lot.” And I’m in love with you. But I didn’t say that.
He huffed out a laugh and finally I felt his arms snake around my waist.
“I care about you a lot, too, doll. I’m…” he frowned, looking away from me, “I’m afraid of what I’m capable of. I’m so dangerous, and I have no idea what they did to my head, I’m terrified that I could kill you at any second…”
“But you won’t,” I assured him softly, stroking his cheek.
“How do you know?” he met my eyes again, and I saw that his were misty, a mixture of sadness and gratitude. I suddenly, deeply understood how much my trust meant to him.
“Because,” I told him, smiling warmly, “you’re not the Winter Soldier. You’re not what they put inside your head. You are so much more than that. And,” I swallowed, my cheeks heating as I continued, “we didn’t come all this way for that to be how this ends. Something brought us together, to help each other. I know it.”
Bucky’s expression softened to something like comfort as he pulled me against him and kissed me tenderly.
“You’ve done more than help me, Y/N. You’ve saved me.”
The coffee cups sat cold and abandoned as we decided to go back to bed for the rest of the day.
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@captain-chimichanga aaaaaand that’s it lmao LOVE YOU
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