#spoiler: idk what my therapist said

[debushit]

nah because like 20 seconds after i told my psychiatrist that my memory is still complete shit he asked me what my therapist told me about not being able to do tasks 🤨 like i know my memory is shit but i remember telling you my memory is shit right

[curioussubjects]

I just finished Veilguard, and...I'm really not sure how I feel about it?

All in all: good game, had fun, but still didn't quite hit some of the highs it wanted to hit and it's still not as good as DA2

(Spoilers galore below for everything)

The Good:

Pretty game is pretty;

Love the codexes, especially the ones written by companions or with their commentary;

Speaking of, the Mementos had so excellent tid bits of lore flavor to them, as well;

Regrets of the Dread Wolf was a damn good quest;

Some truly funny party banter;

I actually thought it was really easy to figure out who my Rook is as I played the game, which was much harder for me to do for my Lavellan in DAI;

And speaking of Lavellan, she was in character she WOULD say that she WOULD do that. Bless;

Everything about Nevarra and the Mourn Watch, I wish there was more content there because I was so into it;

Orb and dagger mage is really fun to play, which was VERY surprising considering I don't play close range ever;

I also really enjoyed destroying blight boils for some reason lmao;

Petting cats (they PURR WHEN YOU DO);

Assan <3;

Taash being so autistic;

Teia and Viago my beloveds;

✨Friendship✨

The Solavellan of it all;

And Solas, too. Love that sadsack disaster man;

Maybe this is super basic of me but I liked Varric's narration...idk it's comforting;

Honestly, just Varric in general was a bit safety blanket in a nice way for me because the game feels overwhelming at first;

There's no party like an all Dalish party!

Exploring -- loved finding all the fun details in each location, and I know I didn't even do enough in my playthrough;

I'm weak for stories about guilt, fear and regret. And I'm even weaker when those stories are so obviously about forgiveness and moving forward. Also love. Always love.

The Bad:

The pacing. I've said this before but DAtV could've used a more explicit arc structure or have quests note which level they're meant for or SOMETHING because some times it seemed I was doing quests too early or too late for when I was in the main story. I also thought events kept oscillating from happening too fast or too slowly, and it very much did get in the way of immersion;

The romance. Literally what are you doing Dragon Age that you fumble the romance. Granted, I only romanced Davrin so far, but I'm getting the sense from looking through the tag that maybe Lucanis' romance also feels a bit off? Honestly I have so many issues with the romance progression for Davrin that it's its own section;

I hope this is only a Veil Jumpers issue, but I thought Rook was so separate from the faction. I felt very little connection to them;

I've seen some people point out NPCs talk to Rook like they're a child, and while I don't really agree with that I do think Rook doesn't have enough opportunities to be knowledgeable in their own right. Especially annoying with a mage Veil Jumper Rook! I miss the Inquisition perk dialogue options that let my Lavellan be a smarty pants;

Holy overdesigned armors! Yikes!

Not all areas are as well developed as the others: Rivain is the most egregiously empty and underdeveloped, but I actually thought Arlathan Forest was super lifeless too. So was the Lighthouse! You get the early game discovery bit and then nothing ever again and it's like oh that was really it huh (and the stuff we did get was so good please more?);

I hate to say this but BioWare missed the mark with Rook's place in the group. The companions seemed connected to each other, yeah, but Rook was like some cross between group therapist and not-so-undercover boss. There was none of the warmth Hawke got from their companions (or the Inquisitor, for that matter!). The game really needed 1. a lighthearted party hangout cutscene and 2. companions coming together to take care of Rook (the fact this isn't even a thing in the romance is bonkers to me);

Taash's personal quest being about choosing between being Rivain and Qunari as if that's how culture works is Bad Actually;

The worst minimap I've ever seen in a game wow;

Also: give me back my beacon marker;

The gods were in a regret prison but what were their regrets exactly we just don't know.

The Bad (Romance Edition):

Again, the pacing! Incredibly slow to start (and not in a slow burn way, mind!) and then super fast in the last third of the game;

In fact, the romance seemed to be running on a completely different level than the rest of the story. The last romance scene was incredibly out of place tonally, especially.

The first two romance titles for Davrin are "Thrill of the Chase" and "Hot and Bothered"...and like WHERE????

Davrin never writes about Rook as a romantic partner or as if he has any concerns with the relationship...which we later find out he has, but was news to me;

Tbh, the romance felt like an afterthought. There were cutscenes that in any other DA game there would've been flirting options, for instance, but this time there was nothing (what do you mean Rook can't make a flirty comment when Davrin is shirtless working out with Taash? It's low hanging fruit!);

Not nearly enough flirty banter between Rook and Davrin, which is nuts considering their personalities;

I'm really super disappointed with Davrin's romance, which sucks because he's actually perfect for my Rook and I really like his character. There was so much potential for a really fun romance that was both tense and sexy, but also sweet. But no. Secret good Davrin romance that exists in my head save me.

The ???:

Southern Thedas got scorched when the North didn't how?

Please tell me who was catfishing Andraste;

Making enemies super aggro on Rook unless you specifically have companions taunting was very weird.

[betelgeusing]

righteous gemstones finale thoughts roundup spoilers galore

Peter Montgomery being the shortest person in his family was an inspired choice, Steve Zahn in his villain era hell yeah (he was also so good in George and Tammy recently)

Always surprised by how much genuine love and tenderness Jesse seems to have for his wife and children, as clumsily as he expresses it

But for real Jesse finally pulling ahead of Simkins by taking responsibility and going to get his family members safe (and trusting Gideon to help him do more than he could alone) was a great end to his character arc this season

(He appears to have been that way since he was a teenager?? cute. Jesse for sleeper favorite of the season honestly)

(Speaking of teen Jesse, the interlude episodes really show how badly Eli and Aimee Leigh failed their children. Giggling about how Judy's therapist would have to deal with her in the future instead of TRYING TO HELP IN THE PRESENT, for example. they are wonderful characters to watch, and it's nice that Eli is bonding with Gideon now, but they fully neglected raising their children in favor of their careers and it's WILD that Eli acts baffled that his kids as adults are a fucking mess)

Plague of locusts WILD choice though. Like OK we'll just accept that it happened I guess

Stephen Dorff was underused. Shea Whigham too but his character seemed like more of a cameo to begin with. Dorff could have been the primary villain instead of just popping in early and then late. Oh well, I guess they did the rival megachurch pastor last season so it would have felt too repetitive

I would love to see more characters like May May everywhere. She was so well written and performed

Comparisons to Succession are valid and idk maybe it seems like the Gemstones get off too lightly, but I think the core sweetness to the show makes it what it is and distinguishes it. You know the Roys are always going to end up at odds; you know the Gemstones are always going to end up united. Ofc they're equally shitty/crooked people to everyone not part of their families, but then, they're different shows with very different tones

I would be lying if I said I wouldn't watch Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers. Tiffany tearing it UP on the piano

also the way Baby Billy is with Chuck and Karl is the most precise depiction of how it feels when you have to watch your maternal and paternal extended family members interact with each other I've ever seen

(Bisexual Baby Billy confirmed?? Though I'm not sure anyone was asking for it)

BJ Judy matching outfits FOREVER

Keefe and Kelvin beat the queerbaiting allegations I HAD FAITH . they are GLOWING in the last episode. (Keefe's distaste for Taryn from EPISODE ONE is also hysterical. Jealousssssss)

Keefe's outfits are the best in the show sorry BJ sorry Judy you guys ran a tough campaign but it's true

The variations on the word "daddy" in the last few episodes are killer. Specifically Jesse's almost-whispered "datty" and the way the Gemstone siblings tell Baby Billy "you are NOT my daddy, boy"

"Daddy-boy" making MULTIPLE appearances as a disrespectful reference to Eli lmfao (and Jesse calling him "Elijah" for the 5 minutes he was pissed at him)(also Jesse being mad at Chuck for all of an hour before forgiving him. He's simply not built for grudges)

Aimee Leigh final shot shmaltzy? Maybe but I will take every excuse to see Jennifer Nettles in the role again <3

[lavender-teardroplettes]

You should do Miguel and Si hcs (Weathering Feelings VN)

Since idk how many people have played it I’ll suggest doing so before reading this post since it’ll contain spoilers!

Hcs under the cut!:

This one’s a little more interesting than most to me due to the nature of the game and Miguel looking at the PLAYER and less so the stand-in he has for you in game, gets a little meta in the best ways in my opinion. UwU

Si would find the general idea for the game really cute assuming the download page is a little different from the irl itch page and doesn't include any spoilers. It would be neat if the moment he downloads it the page is gone since it's meant for him and no one else. (though this is an open mc headcanon even if it wasn't Si, I just think it's a neat idea). While he knows games aren't the same as getting real therapy, sometimes it's nice to harmlessly vent to a game just to get it out.

I think he'd play a "normal" route where he wouldn't notice anything off about the game just yet, not hitting the right flags right away and putting the game down for a day or two before booting it up again to try and get a new route with one of the other Doctors before going back to try and do a better route with Dr. Nubloso....only to get him again even after picking different answers. Weird...but he thinks "maybe I have to hit a flag first and clear his route first." He does better the second time around, but now things are getting...weird, and he notices that the game sprite seems to be looking directly at him.

Once he gets to the part where things get really weird and Dr. Nubloso starts talking about going into the game files before the route ends, Si gets really spooked and closes the game again. He's surprised and a little shocked at the change of pace in the story, but he also can't help but be a little curious about what would happen if he did delete the file. It's also around 2-3 am at that point of time, so he also thinks that maybe he fell asleep or misread something in his sleepy state. He sleeps on it, opens the game again, and plays through one more time to make sure, once again giving different answers, and once more getting the Cloudy Day therapist.

Once he confirms the weird ending and the request of deleting the file, Si looks around in the game files before finding it. His curiosity gets the better of him after a little debate with himself, and he does. Now....When he boots up the game again he is NOT expecting to see Miguel at all, and he certainly wasn't expecting to be talked to directly. He almost yelps and turns off the game again, but something pulls his attention to the new development and tells him to stop and hear him out. Maybe he's overacting and this is just really good...specific writing? So he plays on, almost exhausting each available line of dialogue Miguel has for him, even replaying them a few times before Miguel acknowledges what he's doing and gives him the whole 'oh, you're testing me and my loyalty' speech. And...he has to admit, he does feel a little bad for the character by that time....that is until he hits the nsfw route and gets WAY MORE flustered than he should've been. And yes....he played both routes. ovo

By the end of it, he gets the ending where Miguel resolves to break out of the game for him, and he's left confused when all that loads after is a glitched screen. He does some more digging in the files and finds some "easter eggs" from Miguel, getting flustered at two of the special pictures hidden in the files. Curiouser, Si- seemingly out of a whim- decided to read the game's script...and his stomach drops when he notices little notes hidden in the game's files from Miguel- even down to the nsfw scenes. Before he can really react or fully process that this could be real, there's a knocking at his door..... Miguel came to find him just like he said he would. :)

That's all I really have for now since it's been a hot minute since I thought about how this would work given what we have with the current demo, but as you can see it's a really fun premise to play with!

[blessedshortcake]

My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol

First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.

I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.

That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.

The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)

As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.

But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.

I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now

(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)

Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.

I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.

Tldr

I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC

Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.

Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

[symptoms-syndrome]

Hi! I’m curious to hear (in a vague way) what the process was like uncovering the DID if you’re comfortable answering. Like how long did it take? Did your therapist(s)/treatment team first consider other diagnoses? And anything else you feel comfortable sharing.

Hihi! This is sort of a hard question to answer for me, but I can try!

What constitutes my "treatment team" is sort of hard to define in this sense, because IDK if you mean "the ppl over the course of my life" or like "the one who wrote it on paper."

I've been seeing a therapist since I was 6 years old. I started going to outpatient programs like when I was in my early teens for Behavioral Problems. In those I was diagnosed with everything in the book so like. In that sense other diagnoses were considered? I think by the time I was 18 and kicked out of the house/able to see a professional of my own volition not connected to my parents/disciplinary programs, I was mostly labeled as BPD, PTSD, depression + anxiety, OCD, maybe NPD or ODD. I don't really give a single shit about any of those because I don't define myself by diagnoses anymore, or try not to, and my therapists as an adult told me it was majorly fucked that I was diagnosed with all that as a teenager. Most of them weren't even legit they were just labels to try and pin down why I was a Bad Kid. Spoiler for that, the answer was that generally teenagers act out when they're subject to intense trauma basically all the time and aren't listened to and are institutionalized. Tends to fuck your brain up real bad. I'm a lot better now not bc I got over the laundry list of diagnoses, but because I'm in like. A stable and supportive and independent environment.

I was officially diagnosed as an adult, exact ages escape me but probably like 19? It came as a surprise to me but fit like a glove re: my experiences with memory loss, not remembering where I am, meeting people who have met me before but I didn't remember, people telling me I did things I don't think I would, etc. It was really upsetting to hear because it's such a. Permanent and perception-of-life altering disorder. I was definitely hoping it was something that could be like. Cured more easily. It was also definitely hard to come to terms with the fact my childhood was That Bad, when I didn't really think it was before.

My therapist at the time said it was almost stupidly obvious that was what I had, even tho I wasn't like. Aware of it.

So like. How long did it take is hard to answer. Overall, if you count all the time I was being seen by psychiatric "professionals?" Over 10 years. If you count just that therapist? Like one year.

I'm a lil scatterbrained RN, so I might add more detail later or if u send another ask. I guess the question is so open and vague it's hard to answer without a full autobiography LMAO.

But I guess it would be useful to know why you wanna know. Then I could probably give a better answer. Are you considering the diagnosis for yourself? Are you trying to see if ur experience is shared w others? But also keep in mind I'm a weird little anti-psych dog who in general rejects the idea of seeking diagnosis for treatment. RN in therapy I mostly talk about my day to day struggles with whatever (like "damn, I've been really fixated on [specific trauma] this week" or "I made a friend" or "I'm really stressed about this argument I had" or "later this week im going on a date and i don't wanna fuck it up") and occasionally parts stuff comes up. Therapy hasn't majorly changed I don't think. Then again I'm real shit brain right now and my memory sucks ass. Maybe I can answer better later I just know if I didn't answer at all I'd forget.

[discotitsposts]

criminal minds rewatch is back

season 7 closing time-

obviously ep spoilers

party on the beach whooo

imagine just finding that omg

hotch running

my bird is happy

flirty hotch

rossi knows

Spencer SPENCERRRR UGH HE LOOKSS SO GOOD ALL THE TIME

penelope in blue 💞💞

can’t explain it but this unsub looks like the type of guy that would do this shit

shakespeare quote

ugh jj my beloved

reid’s voice 💞💞

morgan: he’s gay

WHY DID HE SAY IT LIKE THAT

this unsub kinda looks like my dad and it’s freaky

the guy who said he’s an s.a.c is kinda hot like idk what that means but damn

morgan: hack their cellphones penelope

also morgan: thank you crazy 😭😭love them

emily ur going to kill me with that blue top ugh😫

jj omg

they said jj and reid went to the gym together to speak with someone but reid is nowhere to be seen im suing

THERE HE ISi wanna kiss him so bad

it was me calling reid

omg penelope calling him 187

lol his best friend pulled his wife

wish i was the table reid’s leaning over rn

wishing i was the straw on emily’s drink rn

he’s using his victims as a therapist that’s the worst part

OH MY GOD REIDS OUTFIT

oh my god HSI VOICE HELPNME PLEASE ID SNTBBREATHE

HIS VOCIE IS SO LOW FUCK ME

bro the best friend coming out of the house is low😭😭

emily in that green top i’m choking

SPENCER WHEN YOU EXIST.

penelope in pink omg

this shows costume department is unmatched

me when spencer breathes: 🫨🫨😫😫

i’d let spencer buy me a drink

bartender bar-t-tender our loves alive

needle in a haystack mention. more like a needle in a pile of needles ifykyk

spencer reid slam me down on that table challenge.

rossi in the tomato sauce red shirt

yuck he got violent on this poor woman. geez.

morgan though 😫

everyone in this show hot

bro gonna crush his bestie

ouch that’s gotta hurt.

reid in purple 😫😫😫😫

he kidnapped his son

you are NOT the father!

reid vest reid vest reid vest

i need reid now. vest stays on.

he’s throwing a tantrum

jj is so calming no wonder aj is doing an audio book i literally want her to comfort me when i cry.

JJ NOO

haha she kicked his balls

morgan’s bicep bro i can’t it’s HUGE bigger than my head.

awww spencer worrying about jj brother duties

hotchsnend quote

morgan laughing

pennsylvania petite 😭😭 lmaooo

pa representation in jj🥰

lol valentine’s day

lmao the singles

reid goes home to me and his books

hotchy boy got a date

awww this is sweet i like hotch having a crush it’s so cute he’s literally so sweet omg my ♡

awwww he got kissed

the end 💞

[melishade]

Attack on Prime Chapter 90: The Big Twist

Spoilers ahead if you haven't read the chapter. I recommend that you do if you haven't.

So.....

let’s talk about Primus. Eh?

So looking back on the Transformers franchise as a whole, Primus himself isn't really capitalized on. In a few of the shows, he’s only name-dropped or doesn’t even exist like TFA. In shows like TFP and the book the Covenant of Primus, he is alluded to and even given a brief backstory of his and Unicron’s origins before shifting gears to the Primes and their dynamics, but never makes an on screen appearance. He’s shown as the core and that’s it. We don’t know what he looks like in the Aligned Continuity. I think there is a toy out for him, but it was never said to be official. The only Transformers content that really explores on Primus is the IDW comics. Where Primus has aligned himself with three other transformer deities, but one of them got really angry with him for some reason and as punishment, got rid of his god powers, made everyone forget ever knowing him after he so much as left the room. (Look my info on IDW is spotty. I never got the chance to read the comics in full. Although god being a therapist is hilarious).

Besides IDW, there aren’t many interpretations or characterizations of Primus, which is a damn shame, considering we’ve always seen Unicron in almost all Transformers iterations. So it was something that I’ve always wanted to take a crack at: putting my own spin on the creator of the Transformers. I wanted to bring him into Attack on Prime, but before the AOT story was completed, I had no clue how to bring Primus into the story without it sounding so contrived and out of nowhere. I couldn’t have him pop out in the sky, tell everyone to stop fighting, and then have him leave, confusing everyone. It wouldn’t have made sense. In fact, I was all but ready to scrap the idea for AOP…until the Paths chapters dropped in the AOT manga, and I realized:

And I immediately got to work on how to incorporate Primus into the story while also making it make sense. Which took a while. I’ve worked on multiple rewrites of Primus’ character and his interactions with Eren and Zeke before creating the final draft for the chapter. I started my brainstorming of my characterization of Primus in late 2019 with the document titled RELGN 132 (which was the title of a religion course I took at UCLA, so fairly on the nose). So yeah, I’ve been working on it for 4+ years.

But first let’s talk about the multiple lead up I’ve had up until this point, because again, I’m meticulous with my foreshadowing. Chapter of foreshadowing include:

Chapter 45 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 72 Chapter 77 Chapter 81 Chapter 82 Chapter 86

(And a bunch of other additional chapter do have foreshadowing and there is a small inkling of Primus' presence, and I might explain that later, but I want to see if people can piece it together by re-reading the chapter. If not, then I'll probably just say it outright, IDK.)

But, some moments might’ve been noticeable, some not so much. I knew that I didn’t want Primus’ introduction in the Paths to feel out of nowhere. Eren and Zeke are talking and suddenly this guy just pops out of nowhere. I needed him to be alluded to, which is where the 4th notebook and Pieck come in, oh and also Unicron. Well, at least Unicron's powerset.

In the Covenant of Primus, Primus and Unicron are said to come from the same being: The One, who split apart due to its own internal conflict regarding the state of the universe. If Primus and Unicron come from the same being, they must have the same abilities. Or similar abilities at least. One of the abilities should include: using their blood to communicate with others who carry their blood. Dark energon flows through Unicron while energon flows through Primus. Through energon, all Cybertronians are connected and return to the place they spawned from after their death, regardless of how good or bad their intentions were. If this concept can apply to Cybertronian, surely it could apply to titan shifters, who’s powers even defy death itself on some level. Once all the titan shifters, or at least the Founder, had access to energon, Primus had access to them, and would have found a way to enter the Paths, either through his own power or Vector’s help, since the Paths operate outside of space time. (Primus himself will provide a brief explanation in the Paths II. And the In Between OVA that I keep bringing up, is simply AOP from Primus' perspective. God I am so happy I can say that now!)

But because the Paths operate outside of space and time and the fact that the full powers of the Founder hadn't been utilized on the flow of time, Primus lacked the tools he needs to figure out what the hell was going on or even eliminate the power of the titans. He is flung through the memories and lives of each titan shifter; however, some memories are blocked from him and he doesn’t know why. And because of Primus lack of control, he can’t properly interact with the world around him. He can only interact with other titan shifters as a distorted image. A shadow. He can’t give so much information to Kruger and Pieck. He can only provide images, hidden clues because of the barrier between them. And Primus wants to learn about the truth of the AOT world, so he sees through their eyes and listens to their stories. Even when Kruger and Pieck interact with Primus and even touch him, they are met with a warm, gentle, touch of comfort. Something to show that he is other worldly. In addition to that, the allusion to the overlap of voices, how Primus knows about even that happened thousands of years into the past, his glowing blue eyes, how he forces Kruger to feel the pain and suffering of the people he turned into titans, how Primus had called Megatron and Arcee by name before asking Pieck to believe in Optimus, proclaiming he would be the one to end the power of the titans. The longer Primus is on screen as the shadow, the more ‘in your face’ the information becomes. If you haven’t pieced together the shadow is Primus, then at the very least, you know that the shadow is Cybertronian.

Other pieces of information that are not so subtle, is actually the local therapist Rung in the Cybertron OVA. If you know your transformers lore, then you should know that Rung is Primus. That was one of the obvious bits of information that I was incorporating here. Some of the interactions that Rung has includes him not batting an eye when Starscream lashes out at him and catches the energon cube with such ease that he completely forgets to react the way a normal person would. The scene that Rung had alone where he looks at the Jackhammer in a remorse manner, almost as if he knows what’s going to happen but can’t do anything about it. Finally, when Rung places a comforting hand on Arcee, Arcee notes that the hand feels warm and comforting, and she feels a swell of emotions. Ya know, like every other interaction he’s had with humans on screen. Not to mention that Rung recommended that Arcee leave the planet on purpose because of prior knowledge of the AOT world because I’ve hinted at the fact that Primus in the story right now is from a time where the events of AOT haven’t happened yet. Right before he sends Optimus (Of course, this will be explain more cohesively within the In between OVA, which is going to focus on Primus and what’s he’s been doing throughout the AOP story).

More subtle bits of information when foreshadowing Primus’ role in the story is the drawing of Optimus Prime’s holoform, or rather Primus, from the 4th notebook. The drawing is led to believe and cement the fact that the Attack Titan can see into the future. Which is true, Primus’ appearance in the story is a future event, however, I have to make a note that what they are looking at is not Optimus. It’s Primus wearing Optimus’ face. So I had to have someone who would take notice of the way that Primus is wearing Optimus’ face. Erwin had to be the observation because he’s the only human that has been known to notice those subtle details and connections. He of course brought this up with Megatron and Megatron does notice the difference. But the drawing is not Megatron’s concern, assuming that someone trying to interpret someone from memory is going to get a few details wrong. Also, they have other priorities to take care of besides a drawing from the past. Megatron and ultimately Erwin let it go, but I’m letting the audience know, something is clearly up. Adding on top of that, Kruger has never met Optimus, but he had seen the shadow’s face before dying. That should be another indicator that it’s not Optimus. It’s the shadow. It’s Primus.

Finally, the more subtle indication of Primus’ presence in the story is the conversation that Eren and Kenshin had about the existence of gods in general. While Kenshin believes that god exists, Eren does not. He critiques god and believe god to be hypocritical while Kenshin believes that god cares and wants the creation to live freely. It’s supposed to be an engaging conversation while also hinting at the fact that Eren’s definitely going to talk to a deity with his mentality and future visions and get the crap kicked out of him.

I’m certain that I missed something but what I’ve wanted to say but the foreshadowing of Primus is there, and I wanted it to be clear. However, Primus’ characterization is something I wanted to discuss for a long time too. Again, we don’t know much about Primus’ character besides Rung, and I didn’t want him to be a stoic deity. That’s boring. I wanted to have some fun. I wanted Primus to be the complete opposite of Unicron. While Unicron is haughty and prideful, Primus is kind and humble. While Unicron loathes the idea of existence and wants death and destruction, Primus believes in life and creation. Unicron believes that everything is beneath him while Primus sees the value of even the smallest living thing. Unicron believes in working alone, and that he is the most powerful being. No one else should have his power. Primus believes in cooperation, unity, and sharing his power. Unicron wants to destroy the universe, Primus wants to be a part of it.

With that in mind, I was able to write a characterization of Primus: a gentle, kind being that cares deeply for the lives of others that may or may not even be his own. Someone who gets excited at the prospect of learning new things about new beings, someone who mourns the loss of life, and someone who gets angry at the prospect of someone wanting to take that life away. Someone who genuinely tries to understand the individual and their experiences in order to truly understand the meaning of life.

However, there is a fatal flaw to Primus. People I've talked with in the transformers fandom, myself included, have criticized Primus for his own inaction during the war. He gave the Matrix to Optimus, sure, but he did nothing to stop the War in its tracks or even stop the caste system from taking place. Why didn’t he help out Megatron and his people? Why didn’t he stop Megatron when he had gone insane? Why did he make Optimus shoulder all his responsibilities twice? Why does Primus not step in when there are life-threatening events that could destroy the universe? The very thing he values and wants to be part of? It’s very simple: Primus is an immortal deity, with powers to see beyond the veil of time and defy reality if he wanted to but chooses not to based on the safety of the whole universe and every living creature. A personal theory I've come up with is the Unicron prophecy in TFP. Unicron was set to reawaken on Earth, but Cybertron doesn’t know about Earth until the war happens. Sure, if the war didn’t happen, the caste system could have been fixed and Cybertron could have been a better place to live, but Unicron would have awakened with no one to stop him and would have destroyed the whole universe, Cybertron included. It’s an example of Primus trying to see the bigger picture and that’s where his flaw lies. When seeing the bigger picture, he ignores the sufferings of mortals who lead very limited lives compared to him. Primus has all the time in the universe to figure everything out, but not Cybertron, and not everyone else. His purpose even if Cybertron is destroyed is to battle Unicron once more. It’s an endless cycle. But Primus ends up missing the point that he wants to understand. There’s a quote from Steven Universe’s character Sapphire that encapsulates this perfectly:

“I keep looking into the future when all of this has already been solved, as if it doesn’t matter how you feel in the present. No wonder you think I don’t care.”

The meaning of life to a mortal is vastly different to that of an immortal. As a result, Primus will never fully understand them and can’t be part of the universe like he wants to. He cannot live and die like they can. But even so, he still tries to, and that’s what makes him all the more understanding. This is what I want to encapsulate for my characterization of Primus in AOP. Now he has to confront two titan shifters with their own flaws and failings: one that wishes to die, and one that wishes to destroy. And he is not happy with either of them trying to play god out of selfishness.

(There's other things that I want to discuss, like Primus' design and other actions within the story, but I think I'll take care of that tomorrow. Still if you haven't, please leave a comment. That would be greatly appreciated. And I encourage you to read back through AOP to find those clues of Primus' presence.

Not to mention, chapter 45 isn't Primus' first appearance.)

[mywilltoliveisdecreasing]

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW ALEX AUDIO!!

SO THAT WAS ALL A DREAM RIGHT??? Okay but when he said “Fuck, you don’t know how beautiful you are, do you?” 0///0 anyways IT WAS SO GOING WELL. WE WERE HAVING A NICE LIL PICNIC DATE UNTIL WE WEREN’T. We just HAD to bring up Natalie didn’t we. I actually hated how fast and broad the mood change. The amount of dread that washed over me. I hate how much I love that part. My jaw was on the ground when Alex was explaining how they followed him when he was taking pictures of Natalie. And when he said he pulled away from Natalie and explained he had a partner he loved I was so emotional (I’m saying emotional because I was feeling so much in that moment I didn’t even know what I was feeling) and then when we rounded back to the ‘right person’ thing I just- AAAAHSVDUAJWBDHDOWMSDBFHWOWOW- y’know? I actually hate when we go back to that. But I also love the conflict and angst of it. BUT WHEN HE SWITCHED IT UP AND SAID “Am I the right person?” I-

I actually had to sit down on the ground and hug my legs…. I was going through it. Holyyyy- So did he stay in London orrr no? Because it was a dream, right? Was the date setting before the argument? Like, was it a memory? Because we already now this was after the argument but was the dream setting before the argument or was it just what the brain making something up like a normal dream? Did the date actually ever happen? And the way he talked to them was so sweet :( You could just hear in his tone how much he loved them. And then the change to a more dreadful tone. His tone made me feel so sad and guilty. And him explaining what happened with him and Natalie. “And what did I do?….mhm. I backed away, immediately. Told her we were just colleagues and that I wasn’t interested. Told her I had a partner I was in love with.” “No, you wouldn’t really know, what we talked about after I shut her down. You left before you could. So your just filling in the gaps, as usual. Filling it with the worst thought. Those thoughts never left you. But I did.” “The right person. Are you the right person?” MY HEART STOPPED. MY JAW DROPPED. I WAS PACING AROUND. “I’ll ask you again. Are you the right person?” At this point I was on the verge of tears and ready to call my non-existent therapist “… well, seeing as your obviously conflicted. I’ll ask this instead. Am I the right person?” NOW IM CONFLICTED. I WAS IN SHOCK AND AW. I WAS FROZEN. I WAS FLABBERGASTED. I WAS GOING THROUGH SO MUCH EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. I HAD JUST WOKEN UP AND ALREADY GOING ON THROUGH SO MUCH EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. Or maybe that was all their imagination and all that never really happened. Maybe his explanation was false and it was just them trying to think maybe that’s what did happen. But my god how much I relate to them(for better or worse). Like, I feel like I would have the exact same thoughts as they did. I feel like I would have also approached this situation the same way. Because being cheated on and losing trust in everyone for so long, but then trusting one person with all of you. I feel like they realized they trusted him with all of them and it scared them. Because it would scare me. Everything going so well it seemed perfect, a little too perfect. And then the thoughts start to flood the mind. And everything goes to shit. Or maybe I’m just projecting, idk! But.….umm…yeah… 10/10 would watch again! :D

(DAMN This is long…. My bad)

[just-a-carrot]

okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

[guhmshuda]

Okay babies. I read Kill Your Darlings

I am done with it and here’s my two cents on it because I genuinely am just containing a lot of what I feel these days

And please expect explicit spoilers so beware I guess

Hi

Okay hi.

First of all… the ending when Regulus just sits and he’s in therapy oh god. It does things to me. It reminds me sm of when I started going to therapy and how helpless I felt but I knew my therapist would be the one person to help me out of this “helplessness”. (It’s a different story I later ghosted that one because she said I have a habit of running away which is not wrong or a lie but what can I say… confrontation and I don’t go along well)

The whole ED thing where Reg feels like food feels GREASY oh god it’s so relatable. I am aversive to certain foods especially the ones with carbs because idk I just am and ik it’s not healthy and I’m working on it but just knowing it’s not just me who’s built like this helped me a little

I think a big part of me did not expect a happy ending (surprise, surprise). In my defence look at who wrote it?! Anyways. It was a super interesting read and if you haven’t yet, PLEASE READ IT!

Barty giving up Hockey healed me. I had a similar story to his (I gave up Medicine to read Philosophy,) and I get where he’s coming from 😭 really hope he gets what he wants *cough* EVAN *cough*

[destinyc1020]

TCR Reviews: Episodes 5 & 6

I missed posting my review for Ep 5 last week, so I'll just combine it with my review for Ep 6.

*****WARNING: SPOILERS!!!!

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Ep 5 Review:

Overall, I felt like this episode was really good! I was glad that we as the viewers were able to get a little more insight into Danny's childhood. This episode was very sad to me though. 😔 And some scenes could have possibly been very triggering for some watching because is deals with the topic of child sexual abuse. 😔

To me, it's just utterly DISGUSTING how a grown adult would take full advantage of a CHILD and abuse them in this vile way, and basically rob them of their innocence like this. 😡 Those actions have awful consequences for the child victim, and many times they struggle with the abuse even into adulthood, and it basically ruins their adult life forever...especially if they don't receive any assistance/therapy. 😔

I kept praying that they weren't going to show us too much of the abuse in this episode, because that would have just been super sad. 😭 Thankfully, the show stopped just short of showing too much (thank goodness). I feel like Ep 4 started making it more and more apparent that Danny is dealing with DID and doesn't even realize it himself (but others around him can tell something is wrong with him), whereas I feel like Ep 5 kind of showed us why Danny is the way he is, and some of the reasons behind his mind split. The interesting thing though is that his mind seems to have split even before the abuse of the stepfather, so it makes me wonder if maybe he had some other possible childhood trauma in his history? 🤔

Anyway, by the end of Ep 5 I just felt SO SAD for Danny, and I keep wondering..."When is his life going to change for the better??" 😭 His life is just so sad and depressing. 😩 My heart goes out to him. With that said, I like how this show isn't making Danny into some kind of "monster", but is more so showing how we should have sympathy for his character and his mental struggles. I know a LOT of fans were worried that the series would focus on the murders and rapes, and were afraid it was going to cast people with DID in a bad light, and some were worried about seeing Tom in a controversial role like that, but so far, it's clear to see that a LOT of fan worries and anxieties (and assumptions) were waaay off base.

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Ep 6 Review:

I really loved this episode! 😃 I LOVED getting to know more about Rya and seeing more into her life. Now things are starting to come together. The pieces are all starting to fit.

Idk why critics claimed that the series is difficult to follow in the timeline. The timeline isn't difficult to follow imo at all. In fact, I actually LOVE when shows/films go back and forth from the past to the present. I like trying to connect the dots lol. Maybe they didn't add the "5 weeks after the Rockefeller shooting" taglines on the episode scenes at the time the critics saw the show?? Anyway.... Tom's acting! He did awesome in Ep6. 👏🏾😃I can't wait for more! I feel like we will get even MORE of his great acting in the latter episodes. He did the transitions so well too. You could see him switch from Jack to Danny so effortlessly. Even the way he holds his eyes... It's very subtle, but it's noticeable. His scenes in this episode remind me so much of James McAvoy's performance in the film "Split" and his therapist scenes. The switch btwn characters is just amazing. I'm glad they added those elements in this series as well.

After what I've already seen so far, I definitely think Tom deserves at least an Emmy NOD. I can only imagine we get more of his fine acting in latter episodes.

This series reminds me so MUCH of "Primal Fear" with Edward Norton. GREAT movie. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it! I saw it years ago, so when Tom said this series was going to be a lot like "Primal Fear", I already knew what type of ride we would be in for lol. 😅🤣

I honestly don't know why critics slammed this series so much. It has been a "slow burn" (sure), but definitely not anything horrible at all! I'm almost wondering if they even saw all 10 episodes?? 👀 I also love how the series isn't making Danny out to be a monster. I know a lot of fans were worried about that, but I had faith that they weren't going to go that route when I kept hearing about how the series was being described. I like how it's moreso focusing on his mental health. I love it. It's been very good so far. It's VERY much like the film "Primal Fear" imo.

Can't wait for Ep7!!! 😁👏🏾

[slowdripsunrise]

oop okay i havent updated this in longer than i thought lol. spoilers under the cut !

finally read the starless sea by erin morgenstern ! good lord beautiful writing, beautiful imagery, and the stories nestled in between the main plot were so entertaining, just as much as the main storyline. characters were sweet, i wasn't in love with the romance subplot but like. the setting, the books, OUHG. that's really what i was focused on so if other aspects lacked. i dont care tbh. entertaining and fun and just overall gorgeous. not what i was expecting but a pleasant surprise.

next i read godkiller by hannah kaner, also a pleasant surprise ! the world was fun and the characters were interesting, and i'm curious to read the sequel !!! not much else to say about it tbh it was a fun fantasy read and also the audiobook slayed.

next i read the centre by ayesha manazir siddiqi and oml went into this knowing it was about language and well yes. but it's also about a failgirl and her questionable decisions and well i do like that. it's not my favorite but like yeah. yeah i get it. i think sometimes for me when i read books about women that just suck i find it a bit too relatable and start to hate the book like. i start thinking about my failures and problems instead of the characters and then im not interested in the book anymore. especially if the failgirl in question has money. its like well just shut up. sorry thats rude people with money can be sad but also like thats a book character so i dont care shut up. anyway this book was also about language so i liked it !! and cannibalism which was also fun. i loved the conversations about translation as consumption and translation as violence. i'm thinking about becoming a linguistics major at my local college so like. much to think about and digest (lol) i think topics like this are really interesting. overall a fun read !!!

after that i read a teeny tiny little short story the only harmless great thing by brooke bolander and GOD it was so good. like damn the pov changes between the elephants and the humans and like the nuclear waste warning and the elephant's stories and just uhg. ouhg. definitely recommend as like a sad bittersweet aching story

finally, i most recently read everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily austin and well. i'm writing this as a time killer so i don't look like i've just been crying when i go out to register my car LOL. like the beginning didn't quite hook me but im so glad i stuck through because i was absolutely sobbing by the end of it. like full on ugly crying. the characters were all lovely and real even tho some of them were bigoted like barney ... i hope he lives well even if hes super homophobic the author made me feel for every character. and the mc at first i didn't love her because i couldn't quite grasp her reasoning behind some of her decisions or her situation, but once i got further in i really started to see myself in her. which okay going back to the last book like i know i said i didn't like books that are just about failgirls well this one was different...... idk it just hit me the right way. the way she cared so much for every single living being around her made me care for them too, flop the bunny, mittens the cat, grace and rosemary, jeff, etc. like. pretty much every time she cried in the book i was also crying. which is like a lot. i also okay and i haven't examined this fully with myself but i really saw myself in her in regards to her depression and anxiety (i know these are not her only issues but these are just the ones i relate to specifically) and i can't help but reflect on how some of her choices, i probably also would have made if i wasn't were i am today, or if i wasn't medicated, or seeing a therapist, and that i've come pretty far from where i started. which feels really fucking nice. anyways i would recommend reading this if u like sad stories about sad girls that find themselves in The Situationstm. also if you've taken your anxiety meds. bc i forgot and my heart was pounding along with the mcs the entire time almost to the point where i had to put it down lol.

[infiniteorangethethird]

(kskdkrkekd ignore my ask before i sent it on accident before i could finish it)

hiiii we haven't talked in a bit so this is me popping by

how have you been doing? :)

i have finished reading hamlet so i am going to reread i fell in love with hope any day now and give you your promised highly detailed essay. yay? also i have been seeing a therapist, idk if i told you about that and i'm pretty sure that's a yay!! she's very nice

question time!! i miss your aro fic so i decided to ask something regarding that. firstly, can i ask why are there different mating systems? like, what is the in-world explanation and/or what is the narrative purpose? (idk if that's too much spoiler, you can just answer in private if you want or not answer at all, whatever you seem fit)

other question is about björn bc i love him. does he like musicals too?? i know you said you, yourself are not that into theatre but if yes, do you have an idea what types of musicals would be his fav?

that's all for now i think. you answer when you answer, if you want to at all - as always. no pressure!!

bye-bye (´^_^)ノ

hiiiii sorry this took me so long to get around to, I've finally started on my summer job and I can count my free seconds on just one hand 😭 otherwise I'm mostly fine, bit preoccupied with getting obsessed over various crochet projects and trying not to lose my sanity over them lmao

oh I am so looking forward to that essay of yours, it's been a hot moment since I read I fell in love with hope so perhaps this is a call for me to reread it as well. I'd say we should do a race to see who can finish sooner but I get the feeling neither of us needs any kind of extra stress right now, lol. And I'm glad to hear you found a good therapist! I remember you mentioned you were looking for one, so happy to hear that turned out nicely!

Imma be honest, it's been a hot moment since I thought abt my aro fic 😅 other projects came up and then I started working on Absolutely Nothing At All, so that one has been kinda put on the backburner lately - it's probably a good thing you're reminding me of it, then. Tbh I don't remember if I had any specific reason for multiple mating systems, I think I just wanted to represent many of them to say: no, the problem isn't with one specific system, the problem is with the idea itself. Then again I have been considering going through every idea I had thus far again and sort of "restarting" bc I wasn't entirely happy with what I came up with thus far, so who knows. Maybe next time you ask I will stick with just one system lol.

Oh yeah Björn is a really funny guy I love him too, for some reason I imagine he would be the type of person who loves musicals but purely for their music, and otherwise has zero clue as to what the musical is actually about. He would listen to the soundtrack on 24/7 loop but if someone came up to him like "actually this musical is about [plot]" he would give you the most confused surprised pikachu face. (What kind would be his favorite, I am honestly not sure)

man I really should think about getting back to writing this Thang I have been putting it off for so long I'm already forgetting things about it 😭

Anyway, how are you doing? I hope everything's going fine with you this summer break and that ur resting at least a little bit (and that your brain hasn't boiled yet in the heat lmao). Doing anything interesting lately?

[schrodingers-romy]

Romy Reads: Wind Breaker

Spoilers for manga chapters 128-135

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I like this guy (inugami is his name I think?)

He's fulfilling my desire to be nosy abt hiragi and sako's relationship

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So emo guy (banjo) who beat kaji and is fighting hirgagi is apparently a masochist...yeah this isn't going to go well...

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Banjo loves the connection he feels w ppl when he fights them...which is just a connection of pain rlly.

Hiragi actually finally gave the guy pain he didn't like and then said

I think what banjo needs is a therapist and perhaps consensual bdsm idk

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Little guy having the time of his life

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Well shit

Ofc the entire reason to keep umemiya in the school was to trap him where he didn't have backup. Pretty obvious when you think abt it :/

And now endo and takiishi are free to corner him without interruption...

Supposedly. Thank fuck glasses (one of the four kings...forgot his name honestly...) sent tsubaki, suzuri, and nakamura...and now sugishita and sakura.

Chouji can stay and take care of these chucklefucks

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Ik this is supposed to be menacing but the angle of this kills me it's so funny

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Oooooo let's go

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Wow takiishi just smacked the shit out of endo for trying to stop him from going with umemiya...well we can see who holds the power really (even if it's not necessarily physical power, it's clear endo is the one who's following this guy for whatever reason...)

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Oooh hearing these guys insult furin made chouji Mad...this will be fun...

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[cringeisthemindkiller]

I had a bit of a think while re-reading the ending of Chainsaw Man part 1. Spoilers obviously!

I think there’s some really interesting imagery Fujimoto uses during the last few chapters with Denji and Makimas dynamic. The first thing that pops out is the inherent like defeat and trauma Denji experiences by the end and this carry’s into part 2. He just seems so tired, so defeated. Like he’s not miserable but his eyes aren’t as wide and have bags under them, he is clearly less excited about things and a bit more cynical. This of course makes total sense considering all of the truly terrible things he’s experienced. He’s also a dad and a Highschool student and owns a shit ton of pets, honestly it still shows how positive and optimistic he is to still put on a smile and go on dates despite all that. However, to me at least and this may be projecting a bit based on my own trauma, I think him learning that the live he had just lived over the past few months or so was essentially a lie. For the first time, he got to live, to experience a normal life. Or at least as close to normal and happy as he could. Then, he learned it was all a trick so that he could have Pochita taken away from him and for him to be completely broken and subservient. Now that he is finally free of that, he has to try and figure out what it was that he experienced was real and genuinely a normal happy existence and what was just Makimas manipulation. He isn’t as enthusiastic to live because the last time he did that he got hurt really bad. I think the realization that comes to him at the end of Part 1 about Makima is that despite him still truly loving her, he recognizes that it was never mutual and all of the great things said about him was a means to an end and yet despite that he can not help but love her. He says it himself and hates himself for it right before their final fight. And to be honest I don’t think he ever properly addresses and reconciles that. I think a piece of that self-hatred lived on just under the surface.

I think the second thing I noticed which does tie into my first point is the way Denji kills and defeats Makima. He consumes her body and effectively beats her saying that he never had any intention and hurting her and that he truly isn’t upset at her for everything she did and hat he truly wants her to be one with him and even says to Kishibe it was an act of love. What I think on the surface seems like a happy ending and some closure honestly screams unresolved trauma and something that will come back to haunt him. To me, eating Makima and having them be one is representative of him not letting go of Makima and not being able to move on. Despite everything she did, he still clings on to her and makes her apart of him out of love. That to me screams of an abuse victim saying something like “well despite all the terrible things they did to me I’ll always love them regardless because of (insert any variety of reasons)”. You don’t need to be a therapist to understand why that is unhealthy. I think later in the series we will see this catch up with him and he will have to learn how to let go of Makima. Maybe with the help of his new friends and Nayuta he can put Makima to rest without having to have her as a part of him. Idk maybe not, after all having 2 control devils would be weird but who knows maybe Makima or Nayuta represent another emotion down the line who knows.

Regardless I think the themes of abuse and healing and trauma are really expertly presented which is something that has been talked about before w CSM but these things briefly stuck out to me and I thought I’d give my thoughts on it and maybe it’ll have story relevance later.