#spoiler alert: it’s not good bedtime reading

[marvelsmostwanted]

Clearly some of you did not do your pre-election Project 2025 bedtime reading

…because while reading through all of the executive orders Trump issued on Day 1, I was like ah yes, the anti-trans policy from page 331 - just what the Heritage Foundation ordered! It’s not good that this is the plan they’re following, but if we don’t want to be blindsided by the policies they’re about to try to implement, at least we have the ability to anticipate what’s coming next. Keep your enemies closer and all that. And turns out your enemies conveniently outlined their cartoonishly evil plans in one handy PDF!

I honestly do recommend skimming this for a glimpse into the mindset that just entered the White House. (Brace yourself. It’s not great.)

https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- to you reading fanfic about another member

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

SCOUPS: sulky baby mode x 100 when he finds out you're reading fanfic- and it's not even about him, it's about jeonghan??? he's upset because like he's right here?? why do you even need words on paper?? why are you giggling and kicking your feet when he's right here?? grabs your phone and throws it away from you - complains that you're basically cheating on him with jeonghan. shuts up real fast when you tell him he's basically cheating on you with jeonghan too.

JEONGHAN: very very very flabbergasted and betrayed. makes fun of you for even reading fanfic in the first place - ahhh i didn't know you were dElusiOnal like that (¬`‸´¬) mood switches up real fast when he finds out its literally a fanfic about dino. what the fuck man. dino????? his mind malfunctions at the mere thought of it. asks you what you see in him besides dino being the maknae. will read over your shoulder as you attempt to push him away.

JOSHUA: flushes and does not know what to say. gets all shy and giggly thinking its a fanfic about him and is stunned when you tell him- No! it's about mingyu! whines that he's literally your boyfriend and you're still reading about mingyu?? starts threatening to call mingyu up and expose you.

JUN: blinks in confused cat. asks you to explain why there's a fake story online about joshua and why you liked it?? is still very confused when you explain to him the online culture of fanfiction. will not talk to you when he finds out its a romantic story and you're reading as Y/N. joshua?? really?? i'm right here?? can hold a grudge for a loonngg time, jun stans beware.

HOSHI: finds it absolutely hilarious that there's even fanfiction about vernon existing in this world. finds it even more hilarious how invested you are. pesters you until you send him the link so he can forward it to vernon. will sit next to you and begs you to read it out loud like a bedtime story - cackles whenever Story Vernon does something he knows Real Vernon would die before doing.

WONWOO: judges you HARD until he researches more and finds some fanfics that are actually really well written. sends you ones about him as a poor attempt to distract you from reading ones about other members. will side-eye poor writing and acts like a writing critic. gets fed up if you continue to read fanfics about other members and tries reporting every fanfic not about him so you can't find it. (spoiler alert: he fails)

WOOZI: shrugs. understands everyone has their little quirk. he's a little weirded out that its fanfics about people he knows personally but he doesn't mind. looks at you when you start ranting about a "really good story" and asks you point blank if its another piece of fanfiction. finds it cute that you try to hide it from him. just say it's a really good fanfic plot, love. you're not fooling anyone with the "it's an amazing book i read online."

THE8: asks if you need to start meditating again. does not support the amount of delusion (sorry guys but have you guys seen the the8 anti fan service clips) chides you that he's literally right here and you don't need an online version! will tell you to just go find the member you're reading about if you want them so bad. (¬`‸´¬)

DK: giggles as he reads over your shoulder. gags at mentions of kissing. turns bright red if it's smut. looks at you with wide eyes and asks if you're really into kinky shit like that because he did not know. calls up seungcheol to tell him you're reading naughty things about him and dies at how mortified you look.

MINGYU: ego boosted 100% when you tell him its a seventeen fanfic. starts rolling his shoulders about to show off, telling you of course you're reading abt meeee ik im hot jeez im right here ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈ ). is offended and perplexed when you tell him you're acc reading about woozi. sighs really loudly everytime he sees you on your phone - even if you're not reading fanfic (╥‸╥) will work extra hard at the gym just to prove to you he's the best one.

SEUNGKWAN: supports your interests 100%. admits to you months later that he acc also sometimes scrolls through their fanfics, just to see what their fans are up to. trades good fanfics with you sometimes - he stays solely with fluff fics though, will throw you the nastiest sideeye if you send him a smutty one.

VERNON: bro does not care! he just kind of nods, telling you that its cool. you can tell he's a little awkward about it though cause he doesn't bring it up ever again. will occasionally ask you for fic updates to see if you found anything funny or weird.

DINO: does not mind the fanfic reading itself but is super super annoyed that you're reading about someone else. WONWOO?? he'll yell, grabbing your phone to take a better look cause he cannot believe his eyes. what does hyung have that i don't?? threatens to expose you to wonwoo if you don't stop and read dino fics instead. tells you to screenshot anything that's remotely embarrassing so he can send it into the svt gc.

BONUS ౨ৎ ───

MINWON: mingyu sees it first - you kicking your feet and giggling over something on your phone. completely speechless when you turn it around and he sees its a mingyu x wonwoo fanfic and you're thoroughly enjoying it. gives you a disgusted look and calls up wonwoo, who looks equally disgusted. the two avoid each other for the next two weeks because everytime they see each other they're reminded that their fans ship them.

VERNON!COLLEGE: confused af when he sees how many fanfics are about him as a college frat boy. rants to you cause he literally didn't even go to high school?? more confused when you explain he just has frat boy energy. ends up taking it as a compliment.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter Three: "She's a silver lining"

Word count: 5.253 words   Warnings: This is so fluffy it might be illegal. Reader's discretion is advised. Summary: Baby Reid Nº1 is here, and both Spencer and reader are ready, but not really.  A/N: I know no woman would ever be worthy of making Spencer a father, but that man deserves to be a dad. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

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(Y/N)’s point of view

When we found out we were having a little girl, Spencer lost his mind. I know he would have been happy if the doctor had said it was a boy, but a baby girl was just what he had always dreamed about. A little princess to spoil and teach everything.

We decided to name her Raven Marie Reid, and ever since that day, my husband talked to our daughter every second he could. He encouraged us to hear more classical music to help her brain develop, he read her bedtime stories and even asked about her day.

- “I’m telling you, chipmunk, Raven knows I’m talking to her”- Spencer pointed out as we walked into the bullpen- “She kicks and moves when I say her name.”

- “I know, honey bunny. She is still inside me, kicking my ribs and squeezing my bladder most of the time.”- I replied and shook my head, smiling. I couldn’t deal with his proud smile at my words.

- “Reids! you are here! I’ve got news”- Penelope nearly tackled us as soon as she saw us, and didn’t even give us time to reach our desk.

- “We have to take the fit test.”- she announced quickly.

- “We?”- Spencer asked, confused.

- “Me too?”- I questioned, scared of the answer. I was already 38 weeks into the pregnancy and I could barely move. I wasn’t allowed to travel anymore, so I had to help the team from my desk whenever they were out of town.

- “Of course not, munchkin. Just me and your husband.”- Garcia explained tapping on my arm.

- “But why? We have enough case hours to cover a fit test.”- Spencer argued, confused.

- “I just got the mail. So, I guess we should train a little.”- Garcia shrugged and started walking with us to our desk.

- “I can help.”- I suggested - “I was very good at my fit test, and I can give you some tips.”

- “Can we talk with Hotch and get out of this?” - Spencer suggested- “I mean, it’s a fit test. Honestly, we don’t need this.”

- “Well, we are having a baby, and you are gonna have to play with her, so maybe getting some exercise done could be good for you.”- I suggested, but Spencer looked at me like I had cursed him- “What?”

- “You know I’m not good at sports.”

- “You are amazing in the field and you know it.”- I rubbed his shoulder and smiled- “But you have to get used to running now that we are having to have a kid to follow around.”

- “My princess is not gonna make me run around, right Raven?”- Spencer asked and rubbed my tummy. Our daughter moved inside my belly and sat directly on my bladder.

- “Great, I have to pee again. Thank you, honey bunny.”

The following morning, Spencer and I got up extra early to meet Penelope on the training track in Quantico. My husband looked the cutest in his red shorts and mismatched socks. I planned a simple circuit for them to warm up and watched them running as I sat on a bench and ate part of the orange slices I had brought to them. I tried to imagine how it would be when Raven went to school, would she like sports? Would she join the track team? Soccer? softball? my mind wandered to all the amazing things our baby girl would do. Anything she dreamed of, I would encourage her to pursue.

Spoiler alert: Raven is on the swimming team, and she loves it. We go to her competitions with homemade banners and Spencer made sure our house had a pool, so she can practice whenever she wants.

- “Come on honey bunny!!”- I yelled as Spencer made it to the finish line, a few seconds after García, in what I could call a dreadful performance running. I stopped the timer and shook my head as I made my way over. Spencer and Penelope were panting, and trying to elongate their weary muscles.

- “Why does it have to be such a fast mile?”- Garcia argued, trying to catch her breath- “Have you ever even had to run a mile in the field?”

- “No.”- Spencer answered, panting. I handed them a Gatorade and tried to cheer them up.

- “Come on! you are doing better! You’ve got this!”

- “I'm not even in the field.”- Penelope kept arguing - “I sit at a computer on my perfect posterior, like all day.”

- “I know, Pen. But it’s the rule. Apparently, everybody has to take the fit test this year.”- I tried to explain, but my friend decided to keep rambling.

- “Well, at least we didn’t ask Derek.”- Garcia was thinking out loud - “It's bad enough some bureaucrat is making us take this stupid test. The last thing we need is Mr. Universe talking smack the whole time.”

- “But he knows about all this stuff.”- Spencer argued her point of view - “He can probably, like, teach us some tricks, help us train.”

- “Your wife is doing that already, Reid.”- Garcia pointed out the obvious- “Besides, Derek takes it way too seriously. I worked out with him once.”

- “You work out?”- my husband asked surprised, and Pen just nodded, still trying to catch her breath. - “That's cool. I don't.”

- “We can tell, hon.”- I whispered as I rubbed his back.

- “I train in a non-traditional manner and never again with him.”- Garcia explained. - “He was all, "There you go, baby girl. Move it or lose it. This ain't your high-tech room. My grandmama can move better than that."- I chuckled at her impersonation of Morgan as my husband tried to excuse him somehow.

- “He can be enthusiastic at times.”- Spencer was so nice, we all know Derek was a drill sergeant training. I loved training with him, he always forced me to give 110%, but of course, neither my husband nor Garcia enjoyed it.

- “That's a way of saying it.”- I giggled and looked at the clock - “Now come on! Give me a couple more laps.”

- “Do we have to?”- Spence asked me with sweet puppy eyes, looking adorable and exhausted.

- “Yes, you do. Come on! You’ve got this.”

Lucky for Spencer and Penelope, Hotch texted us to tell us we had a case, which only meant training was over.

It also meant I had to stay with Garcia as my husband left the city to catch a serial killer. I knew it was our job and there was nothing I could do about it, but it made me uneasy to think about what would happen to Raven and me if anything went to happen to Spencer on the field. It was a fact: I was afraid of our mortality now that we were about to be parents. That is one fear I haven’t stopped feeling, and it’s one of the main reasons why today we are leaving the BAU.

During that case, Spencer got hit. It wasn’t serious, just a punch on the face, and Morgan teased him saying they might have ruined his pretty face a little. However, I didn’t laugh at all. I wasn’t calm or even rational at that point. You lose it when you get a phone call from your boss saying your husband is at the hospital, and you can’t go ‘cos you are 635 miles away and unable to get on a plane ‘cos you are 38 weeks pregnant. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a punch in the face.

I was beyond furious with him and Hotch. Mad at Spencer for putting himself in danger out there, and with Hotch, for putting him there in the first place.

I yelled so much while the team was on their way back, Garcia was afraid I was going to deliver the baby in her office. But I knew I had to get it off my system before dealing with Hotch, ‘cos I didn’t want to get fired for attempting to murder my boss.

- “What the fuck was Spencer thinking?!”- I yelled as I paced in Penelope’s office, trying to breathe. - “He never gets in any physical fight with an unsub! Ever! When was the last time he got hurt during a case? Tell me, Pen!?”- and my friend stared at me, not knowing the answer.

- “I’m… well…”

- “It was over five years ago, we weren’t even dating yet. He got fucking anthrax!! and he almost died! I can’t go through that again, we are gonna have a baby. Do you think I could raise a baby alone? I fucking can’t! There is no way on earth I can do this alone! Spencer can’t do this to me!”

- “(Y/N), please breathe. He just got punched on the face, that’s it.”- Garcia tried to reason with me, and failed.

- “Just punched on the face? Do you know how dangerous that is? It means he was fighting the unsub! One false movement and things south!”

- “But it didn’t happen, please, munchkin, calm down, you are gonna give me a stroke.”

- “I’m not gonna calm down until my husband is here, safe and sound!”

My wishes came true later that evening after I had made a major effort to calm myself down and not look like the hormonal and slightly crazy woman I was that day.

- “I’m ok, I swear”- Spencer said as soon as he stepped out of the elevator and found me waiting for him.- “I’m sorry, ma cherie.”

I sighed, taking in his perfume, the smell of his neck, and the warmth of his arms around me. Spencer kissed the top of my head and didn’t move for a few minutes until he was sure I was calmed. Somehow, having him there made me forget about how mad I had been earlier that day.

- “Are you sure you are ok?”- I whispered and looked at his face, he had a cut on the eyebrow and a bruise on the cheekbone.

- “Nothing that some kisses can’t fix.”- he said with a sweet smile.

- “You would have been proud, pretty girl.”- Derek pointed out, walking past us along with the rest of the team. - “Reid tacked the unsub like a pro.”

- “I did.”- my husband nodded. - “Working out is paying off.”

- “So, do you think you could stay here until the baby is born?”- I asked and Spencer just smiled.

- “Hotch and I already talked. I won’t move from my desk until Raven is here.”- I beamed, relieved, and let out a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding.

- “Thank you, honey bunny.”

- “Anything for you, ma cherie.”

- “I’m glad I don’t have to yell at Hotch anymore.”- my husband frowned, confused.

- “Why would you…”

- “Never mind, honey bunny.”

Spencer’s point of view

There are so many things I will never forget, and not just because I have an eidetic memory. One of my favorites is the day Raven was born. That was the day I became a father, and by far, one of the happiest moments of my life.

(Y/N) had started feeling contractions after dinner. We were on the couch watching Dr. Who and eating ice cream when they began. They were soft and irregular, so we didn’t move, and instead, we did what the doctor had instructed, and started timing the contractions.

After a while, (Y/N) decided a bath was a good idea ‘cos it might help her relax before bed, so I filled the tub and helped her in. We didn’t call anyone but our midwife, who told us we were doing the right thing and suggested we get as much sleep as possible. So we went to bed. I held my wife and placed a hand on his belly.

I felt like I hadn’t slept for more than five minutes when my wife’s voice woke me up at five thirty am.

- “Honey.”- she whispered, shaking my arm carefully.

- “Everything ok?! Are you in pain?! Do you need the doctor?”- I nearly jumped and stared at her, she seemed scared, though she tried to remain calm.

- “My water broke.”

And that was when my brain turned off.

I stared at (Y/N), slowly panicking, and stood by her side, analyzing everything. Yes, our mattress was probably ruined but that wasn’t the biggest issue at that minute.

- “Spencer?”- my wife called out my name, probably reading how I was losing it at that minute.

- “Yes, cherie, I’m here. I just… need a second.”

- “We have to go to the hospital.”- her voice was a whisper, and she didn’t say another word. A contraction hit her and I could read the pain all over her face. That was when it clicked me, there was no time to overthink, I had to be there for her. In a second I was fully dressed and helping her walk to the door.

- “The bag is in the car, I’ve got my cell… and yours.”- she kept panting as she enumerated everything we needed.

- “We’ll call your parents from the car”- I said as I grabbed the keys and opened the front door.

- “Wait!”- (Y/N) stayed still and held her belly with both hands. I saw her doing her breathing exercises, going through what looked like a very painful contraction. I placed my hand on hers and stared at her, doing her best to do everything we were taught we had to do.

- “I am so proud of you.”- I whispered and kissed her temple. - “You are doing so well, ma cherie.”

- “In case later I yell and say things I don’t mean, I love you.”- she replied and I chuckled. - “You know I might do that if it gets too painful.”

- “I know you will.”- I replied and kissed her lips - “Ready to walk to the car?”- (Y/N) nodded and started moving slowly. I closed the door and held her arm, helping her all the way over.

I rushed into the hospital with my wife, who was trying her best to hide her pain from me, so I wouldn’t freak out. But I was freaking out anyway. Of course, I was. I was running in my head all the possible scenarios that could go wrong in the following hours and I was terrified.

- “My wife is having our baby, her water broke.”- that was all I could say as soon as we reached the front desk. A nurse put (Y/N) in a wheelchair and guided her to a room in less than a minute to examine her. I gave our info and followed her, trying to remain calm.

- “How are you feeling, Mrs. Reid?”- she asked (Y/N).

- “I’m ok, I guess. I keep trying to think this isn’t the most painful thing ever ‘cos I know it’s gonna get worse.”- and my wife even joked, she is a champ.

- “We’ll make sure you feel the least pain possible. Now, let’s put you in bed and see how long until we meet your baby. Do you know what you are having?”

- “A girl.”- (Y/N) replied as I helped her move into the bed. I felt like there was nothing I could do at that minute, so I just stared at her being the most amazing woman ever.

- “Did you pick a name yet?”

- “Yes, Raven Marie.”-

- “That’s a lovely name! Now, let’s see how you are doing.”

The nurse was very nice. She asked my wife a million questions I heard (Y/N) answer patiently, checked her vitals, assessed her contractions, and checked her cervical dilatation. During that entire time, I couldn’t say a word, I was shocked. It was happening, my wife was going to make me a dad, and I was terrified. Not that I didn’t want to be a father, I was just scared anything might go wrong. And if everything went well, and the baby ended up hating me ‘cos I was the worst father on earth? I didn’t know how to be a good dad, I didn’t have one most of my life.

- “Honey, honey”- (Y/N) held my hand and took me from my thoughts.

- “Are you ok?”- I asked right away and she smiled.- “What can I get you?”

- “Nothing, but are you ok? You are pale and I can see you are losing it, and this hasn’t even started yet.”- I nodded and felt her squeezing my hand. - “It’s gonna be ok, so please don’t overthink it, ok?”- I nodded and leaned in to kiss her forehead, but she moved and crushed her lips against mine, making me smile.

- “Come on! She is still pregnant! Wait a little before knocking her up again.”- Frank said as he walked in absolutely unannounced, holding a paper bag filled with snacks, books, and magazines.

- “How the fuck did you know we were here?”- that was the first thing my wife questioned, and then the nurse showed up to take him out.

- “Your mom called us all, everybody is on their way, I just got here early.”

- “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to wait outside.”- the nurse said and pointed to the door.

- “Don’t worry, guys. I’m gonna be camping out there, I’m on the welcome committee. Anything you need, I’m here.”- Frank moved quickly, kissed (Y/N)’s forehead, and smiled. - “You are gonna kick ass, nugget!”

We are lucky to have the best friends on earth.

(Y/N)’s parents, Lu, and Mikey were in the waiting room with Frank in less than half an hour. They all had stopped by to see my wife and wish her luck. Hotch and Garcia got there next and hugged me tight.

- “How is my munchkin? Can I see her?”- Pen asked right away.

- “She is with the doctor, everything is fine. She is still a few hours away from pushing, but everything is going well. They are evaluating if they are giving her the epidural now.”- I explained and Pen nodded.

- “JJ said she won’t come ‘cos she has a cold and it could be dangerous for (Y/N) and the baby, but asked me to send pictures later.”- I just nodded and looked around the room. Everyone I loved was there to support us.

- “Did you bring her ice?”- Hotch asked and I showed him the cup I was holding.

- “On my way to get more ice right now.”

- “And how are you?”- my unit chief asked the million-dollar question, so I just sighed.

- “I can’t stand hospitals, there’s something about the lighting…”- Hotch raised an eyebrow and stared at me knowing that was not what bothered me. - “I’m just worried, I can’t stop thinking anything might go wrong.”- it was easiest to confess my darkest fear at that moment because I needed some sort of contention.

- “It’s normal, Reid. You want to be sure she and the baby are going to be ok.”- Hotch put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. - “You are doing a great job here.”

- “Thank you.”- it was somehow reassuring to hear Hotch saying that. I felt silly but it somehow took a weight from my chest.

- “Son.”- Chief (Y/L/N) walked towards, shook Hotch’s hand, and welcomed Garcia. - “Have you eaten anything?”- he didn’t actually wait for my reply, my father-in-law handed me a sandwich and a coffee. - “Eat this, I’ll bring my princess the ice. You need a little break.”- he tapped on my back and Sofia patted on an empty chair next to her and I moved towards her slowly.

- “Did you call your mom yet, honey?”- she asked me as I chewed the sandwich and shook my head. - “Do you want me to call her?”

- “It’s still too early in Las Vegas. And I don’t want her to get anxious. I’ll call her when Raven is here with us.”- I explained and sipped my coffee. Extra cream and extra sugar. I hummed happily and Sofia smiled.

- “Did I get your order right?”- she asked me and I nodded, surprised. - “I’m glad. I made you the sandwich you said you liked last time we had brunch. A bacon omelet goat cheese sandwich.”- she pointed out proudly.- “I remembered how much you liked it.”

- “Thank you, Sofia.” - she leaned over and kissed my forehead.

- “I love you, son. I am so excited you and my baby are about to be parents.”

I blushed as I heard her words, feeling my heart filled with love. Around us, Frank, Lu, Garcia, and Mikey talked about all the plans they had for my baby girl. Hotch was talking with Derek, who had just walked in with Alex.

- “Now eat your food,"- Sofia added.- "I’ll put an eye on my baby.”

I am still amazed by the warm feeling that having a family gives me. Not just my wife and kids, but our entire extended family, in-laws, and friends. I never thought I could ever have this. I know I say it a lot, but it’s very hard for me to believe this is my life.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Things I couldn’t stop thinking about the first time I had a baby: how Spencer always said studies showed women forgot about pain as soon as they held their babies. I needed to get to that point as fast as possible because no matter how many drugs they gave me, I felt like I was tearing apart.

- “Come on Mrs. Reid!”- the doctor said, from between my legs. - “I can see her head! just a few more pushes!!”

- “I can’t, I’m too tired!”- I argued and felt like breaking into tears, ‘cos I was moody and tired and most of all, scared ‘till the death of what was going on. A human was coming out of my body, I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I was terrified of messing it up.

- “Come on, ma cherie.”- Spencer had held my hand through the whole process, and though he had delivered a baby himself, for the first time ever, he didn’t give directions or corrected anyone. I guessed he was too scared to mess up and trusted the medical staff.

- “I’m sorry hon, I can’t do this.”- I mumbled and felt my baby punching her way out of my body. I had a strong contraction and instead of talking, all I could do was scream in pain.

- “Yes, you can do this, (Y/N). Come on! Just push, our baby is almost here. Just push, ok?”- Spencer begged as I did as told and gave my biggest effort.

- “Almost!! Just one more!!!”- the doctor said. Spencer held my hand tighter and nodded, in support. I don’t know how I did it, but somehow, I managed to push one more time and suddenly, I heard a baby cry.

- “Oh my god”- Spencer gasped and stayed still, staring at the baby with tears in his eyes. The doctor stood up and placed a red crying baby on my chest, and suddenly, Spencer was right. I felt no pain whatsoever. Nothing. All I could do was stare in awe and, of course, cry, how that little baby on my chest was in fact, my little baby.

- “Hi Raven.”- I whispered and touched her back carefully, with shaky hands. - “Hi, I’m your mom, and me and your dad love you very much.”- I chuckled and sniffed as Spencer moved closer and kissed my forehead.

- “She is perfect.”- he whispered and stared at her in admiration and pure love. The nurse gave him a pair of scissors and instructed him how to cut the umbilical cord. I tried to stop crying, but it was nearly impossible. I was a mom. My husband was a dad. We were parents.

Spencer and I had a kid. That was the thought I couldn’t process. The guy I had a crush on for what seemed to be my entire life, my best friend, the smartest guy on earth, and I, had made a baby. I managed to look away from Raven for a second and watched him staring at us, sobbing.

- “I love you so much.”- I whispered and he smiled at me. He leaned in and kissed my lips carefully, and then kissed our baby girl.

- “I love you too, so much. I am so proud of you, ma cherie.”

It was all sweet and fun until that point. But no one ever prepared me for what happened when we took Raven home. Yes, we were ready (or so we thought), but let me tell you this: dealing with a newborn after a week of no sleep is way worse than any unsub's interrogation I had ever dealt with. Way worse.

I felt I was losing my sanity after the first eight days with Raven at home. She didn’t sleep for longer than an hour, which meant neither did we. Breastfeeding wasn’t magical, it was uncomfortable and sometimes even painful, which made me feel like the worst mother on earth. During that first week, I did my best to remain calm and rational. But after eight days of no sleeping, pain due to delivery, swollen breasts, and the irrevocable agony of thinking I was the worst mother on earth, I locked myself in the kitchen and cried my eyes out as I waited for the pot to boil.

Spencer was with Raven in our room, walking around 'cause it was the best way to keep her asleep for more than half an hour. I didn’t want him to know I was crying 'cause I felt useless and pathetic. A voice inside my head kept telling me any other woman would do better than me. Any other woman would be a better mother for Raven and a better wife for Spencer.

I’m not proud to tell you how I felt, I swear. But at that moment, I was overwhelmed.

So I waited for the water to boil and cried as much as I could. Then I put myself together, grabbed a cup, and prepared a cup of hot lavender tea for myself. I also grabbed a bag of marshmallows and ate half of it in less than a minute. Then, I took a deep breath and headed back to our bedroom, where Spencer was still walking our baby. He looked exhausted but kept staring at Raven with the sweetest look in his eyes. It made me feel guilty because he was doing just great and I was a failure. And what was worse: I couldn’t stop thinking JJ was a better BAU mom than I was. She was my only comparison, and as far as I was concerned, she kicked ass. And there I was, failing.

- “She is asleep.”- Spencer whispered and I walked to him, to make sure Raven was well. - “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ve got her.”

- “No, I don’t wanna leave you alone with all the work.” - I argued, knowing it was useless to resist.

- “Every book says that when the baby is asleep, the mother should try to get some rest. Now please, get in bed and nap a little. I’ll be right here with Raven, ok?”

- “But…”

- “Chipmunk, I have to return to work in a few days, please get as much rest as you can while I am still here. I don’t wanna be at work feeling guilty I didn’t do enough to help you.”

- “You’ve done everything, honey.”- I whispered and looked down at my shaking hands. I was still filled with sadness and regret. Feelings I didn’t know how to handle.

- “What are you talking about? You brought her to this world, you feed her, you take care of her. You’ve done more than enough.”- he kissed the top of my head and I just sighed, defeated. - “Get some sleep, ma cherie.”

I was lucky enough to have a large support group. My mom would visit us daily and help us with Raven while we did house chores and napped. Lu, Frank, and Mikey brought us groceries during the first couple of weeks, so we didn’t have to leave the house. Hotch gave us all the free days he could get. But eventually, after a month and a half, my husband had to return to work, and I was all alone at our apartment with Raven.

- “How is my beautiful granddaughter?”- Diana asked as soon as I opened the door. She was visiting after her trip to the Grand Canyon, and my mom had invited her to stay over with her. My mother-in-law was doing so well with her new medication, and she wanted to enjoy as much time with Raven as possible.

- “And Spencer?”- Diana asked, looking around the apartment.

- “He is back to work, starting today.”- I explained and tried not to show how much I hated the idea of him chasing psychopaths and traveling all over the states. Spencer said he would ask Hotch to stay in town, at least for a few weeks, and help the team from headquarters. I wanted him to take a sabbatical from the BAU and teach in Georgetown for a semester. We could live like that, get used to having a baby, and watch her grow. But Hotch needed Spencer, and he said he also needed me back as soon as I was ready.

- “And how many weeks do you have left before going back to work?”- Mrs. Reid asked the dreadful questions as she walked around the apartment holding Raven in her arms.

- “Three more weeks.”

- “And do you want to go back to the FBI?”- Diana was on fire that day, asking everything I didn’t want to think about.

- “I miss my work, but I don’t want to be apart from Raven. I know mom will take care of her when I’m at work, and I don’t wanna travel for the next couple of months. But still, I’m not that excited about coming back to work.”- I explained. However, I left out the most important part: I was terrified of anything happening to us. Getting injured and being in danger was the biggest issue working at the BAU, but before having a kid, I had never felt as afraid as I was then.

- “Why don’t you relax honey?”- my mom asked, probably reading the pain on my face. - “Leave this little princess with us, and have a nice warm bath. How does that sound?”

- “And a nap”- Mrs Reid suggested - “Sleep as much as you want, darling. None of us will feel bad if you need to rest. God knows I needed naps when Spencer was a baby. He was adorable, but the first couple of weeks I was exhausted the entire time. Once I fell asleep sitting at the table, having breakfast.”- I smiled at them and nodded. They were both right. I needed a break before pumping, feeding, and changing diapers again. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

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[quibliography]

Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson

Synopsis:  This novel is about a young woman who unexpectedly leaves the safety of home to cross a dangerous sea. Tress was quite comfortable living in her small village on The Rock. But when she discovers that the King has sacrificed her true love, Charlie, to be captured by the Sorceress, she has to follow her heart even if it means leaving her home behind. Even as she faces the deadly spores of the Emerald Sea, smugglers and pirates, and the fear of failing to rescue Charlie, Tress ultimately confronts something even larger than the seven seas.

My Quibs: Fantastic gateway book into Brandon Sanderson. He has always been on my to-read list and has been praised endlessly by many so I didn't necessarily doubt that I would enjoy his work, but this novel was so sweet like candy. Almost right away, it has this Princess Bride tone - and then I read his acknowledgement at the end and the whole concept of Tress and the Emerald Sea came about because he was watching The Princess Bride with his family, from the question - what if Buttercup didn't accept the death of Wesley and instead sailed away to find him? Such a good premise. Although I didn't pick up on it there. Sanderson implements a fourth wall breaking narrator voice. It's so endearing and familiar. And I suspect the narrator is a well-known character in the larger Sanderson universe, which just makes me want to read other works all the more. And maybe this book is targeted for a younger reader (or not) but it harkens more to my inner child than it patronizes me. It's like a fairy tale while still teaching core lessons about self-discovery. There's romance but she doesn't revolve around it. There's struggle with humility but also support. Maybe it's the environment I read this book in, but right now the world could use some reminding about how to behave in a tumultuous world.

Should you read it? Yes. It's not high brow or high fantasy. It's after bedtime, under the covers with a flashlight. And I think we could all use a book like that every once in a while.

Similar reads? It's basically if you read The Princess Bride and want more of the same.

(Spoiler Alert!) I was a smidge late to realize who Huck really was. Although once I heavily suspected it, it didn't alter the plot for me much. Sanderson uses foreshadowing and lightly hints at things that can guide the reader but in a subtle way that isn't necessary for a reader to follow if they don't want to. I probably missed a lot of those hints because I assumed it was more Easter egg details that were flying over my head from not having read his previous work. Which I'm sure there were. I will 1000% be reading the rest of his Cosmere universe series (starting with Mistborn) and re-reading Tress to see what I missed out on.

What did you think of Tress of the Emerald Sea?

[study-coffee-chicago]

Hi! I hope you're doing well!

I just wanted to say I LOVE your fanfics and MISS your writing! I reread them all the time (not going to lie sometimes they are bedtime stories I read before conking out for the night)

I understand if you're done writing cause all the good characters have left the shows and the shows have gone downhill, but if you ever decide to pick up the pen again just know you will have someone who will read it right away! (I've got both alerts for your tumbler and I have so many of your stories on Wattpad saved)

Okay, that's all! Hope grad school life is treating you well and Go Red Wings

Thank you so much for the kind words! Grad school is going well, but obviously that and working are my main priorities right now.

However, I have been working on a Pirate AU (since July, but have really started getting into it again in January) and hope to have it posted sometime in the next month, so in March. (I’ve only been working on it for five minutes in the morning as I’m trying to make writing a part of my morning routine bc I have no energy to do so after school, hw, and work.) I’ve also been writing it for so long and am in the murky middle part of it, so I’m getting sort of annoyed with it. But, I know it will all turn out fine and I just have to keep writing bc the questions will answer themselves as I continue to write the imagine.

But, I don’t plan to stop writing. I have also have five other ideas for fics sitting in my notes rn…I just have yet to get to them.

So, yes, I am still writing. I just haven’t had a good chunk of time to get a lot of it done and have been writing in about 5 min long spurts for the past two months. Hopefully you’ll get this AU soon. (It’s currently over 11k words, so hopefully it makes up for not posting so in so long.)

LGRW! (Currently watching the wings vs isles rn…so no spoilers for this game lol)

[confessions-of-a-mum]

Confessions of a Mum, Fitness Pro, Partner, and Friend: A Weekly Blog Journey

Hey there, lovely readers! Strap in because we’re about to embark on a wild, witty, and refreshingly real rollercoaster—the kind where you laugh till you cry, cry till you laugh, and maybe even spill your coffee (don’t worry, I do it all the time). Welcome to my weekly blog, where we’ll unpack life’s challenges, curveballs, and those epic “mic drop” moments that make us want to fist-bump ourselves.

This space is for everyone—parents, guardians, professionals, couples, friends, or anyone who just loves a good read. So get comfy, grab a cuppa (or a cheeky glass of wine—we don’t judge here), and join the conversation. Drop your comments and let’s talk about the beautiful chaos that is life.

Meet Kirsty: Mum, Career Woman, and Serial Juggler of Chaos

Allow me to formally introduce myself. I’m Kirsty, proud maker of three gorgeous girls who have redefined what “busy” means. They make my days feel five minutes long, my sleep feel like pure gold dust, and my peace and quiet... well, I don’t even know what that is anymore.

I have an incredible partner who is the glue of our little family (I call him the “CEO of Sanity”), and I recently stepped into a new full-time gig in recruitment. Spoiler alert: this deserves its own novel. And friends? Hmm, friends... they’re out there somewhere, right?

But enough about me! Let’s talk about something close to my heart: mental health—because, boy oh boy, have I been through it.

The Young Mum Diaries: Stigma, Struggles, and Surviving

Here’s the tea: I became a mum at 18. While most people my age were drowning in coursework or dancing on sticky nightclub floors, I was up at 2 a.m. doing night feeds and fighting over which baby bottle worked best.

My eldest daughter, Macie, came into my life and flipped my world upside-down in the best way possible. But being a young mum wasn’t all cuddles and coos—it came with a hefty side of stigma. Suddenly, I didn’t fit in with my age group anymore. My friends were out living their best lives, and I was here wondering if anyone else was losing their minds over teething babies and mushed peas.

I struggled with my identity. Who even was Kirsty anymore? The carefree teen me had said goodbye, and in her place stood Kirsty 2.0—a young mum trying to figure it all out.

But here’s the plot twist: I thrived.

Macie and I became the ultimate team. It was just the two of us, learning and growing together. Sure, it wasn’t a “typical” young adult experience, but it was ours.

Career Curveballs: From Support Worker to Nursery Life

Fast-forward a few years, and I made the leap back into the working world. I’d been out of the loop for so long, I thought, “Who’s going to hire me?!” But I gave it a go and started as a support worker for young autistic adults. It was tough but rewarding, and I LOVED learning something new every day.

Two years in, an injury forced me to part ways with that career. So, naturally, I pivoted to a new chapter: early years education. I found myself working in the cutest nursery in Silsoe alongside my bestie.

But here’s the thing about working with people your own age: it can feel like high school all over again. I constantly compared myself to the younger women around me—their bodies, their talk, their ease with the world.

Meanwhile, I was over here fluent in “mum language,” struggling to connect. I didn’t know the latest slang or trends—I knew bedtime routines and CBeebies theme songs. Talk about a recipe for peak isolation.

To All the Young Mums Out There: You’re Not Alone

Here’s the message I wish someone had told me back then: It’s okay to feel out of place. It’s okay to struggle. And more importantly, you’re not alone.

Being a young mum means you’ve already achieved something extraordinary. You’re raising a human! You’re doing the night feeds, the tantrum negotiations, the endless laundry cycles—and still finding time to question your existence over cold coffee. (Gold star for you.)

Isolation can sneak up on you, even when you love your role as a mum. It’s the weirdest paradox—feeling fulfilled yet lonely, confident yet out of place. But trust me, those feelings don’t define you. They’re just a chapter of your story.

Let’s Keep It Real

So, that’s chapter one of this blog: a little messy, brutally honest, and straight from the heart (with a side of sarcasm, because why not?).

To all the parents, professionals, couples, and friends tuning in—thank you for reading. Let’s keep this dialogue going! Share your stories, your wins, your struggles, or just say hi in the comments.

Until next time, remember: life’s too short to sweat the small stuff. And if all else fails, there’s always chocolate.

Love, Kirsty x

[lemon-sweety]

Awwww your hinakoma family au is so sweet! I think that the personalities of both of their personalities fit Makoto's so much, I mean, he has kind of a bad self steem because he's normal? He's lucky, he also gets angry, tho its not showed much because he's actually pretty mature to see that the one doing the wrong is the mastermind and the rest was just in a difficult situation. Anyway, could you tell us more about it please? Headcannons or ideas, whatever you want.

thank you sm anon, I'm glad someone actually likes it. And you're totally right when it comes to makoto's personality I did thought it would be fit so well.

also, i'm sorry if it took a while for me to responds ^^; i would totally like to share more of course.

to be honest, i'm too afraid to say it before, but makoto is like their biological son. I'm aware not everyone is comfortable with this one, so i'm not gonna explain it in details, and it's up to you how you want to think of it.

i really like the idea how Nagito would rather be the one that stays home so he could spend his time with Makoto and it just shows how much he loves him

traumatized by his childhood, Nagito is actually scared his luck would effect his son, he doesn't want Makoto to be alone just like him

Hajime having too much fun teasing little Makoto until he cries <\3

Nagito could drive, but he would rather let Hajime do it instead cuz he doesn't want anything bad to happen

due to his luck, sometimes Nagito could actually burn the kitchen but for some reason the food that he made is still good

there's no way Nagito did not read a bedtime story for Makoto

for physical, Hajime's shoulder got wider and bigger titties, ever since they had Makoto, Nagito grew his hair and Hajime thought it looks pretty for him

Nagito is so good at being a housewife(husband?) so good, that Makoto starts to call him mama when he was a baby

Hajime likes bought some pairs of t-shirt couple for Nagito and Makoto cuz he thought it looks so cute

The parents realized Makoto has ultimate luck when he was like 2 years old

And it gave Nagito a war flashback and cried at 3 AM because he thought Makoto might have the same luck cycle as him (spoiler alert: no he don't)

Hajime would take some workout in his workout room, and Makoto with his little feet will came to see him

besides curry Makoto also likes green apples (i know this one is random-)

Chiaki best aunt!!

yeah she would totally play babybus games with him while babysitting

[breezypunk]

13, 32, and 42 for the bbs!! 💜

Thamk youu! <3

-

13. Who’s the bigger tease?

This may or may not come as a surprise, but it's Goro. Vaughn has a very high drive, and Goro uses this to his advantage. Vaughn knows in certain cases he's being used really good and absolutely loves it, he enjoys being teased. Cos Vaughn will tease back ten times harder! Sometimes they play "who can tease the most without taking their clothes off first", spoiler alert: they both lose beautifully.

32. Who's the better story teller?

Unless it's stories about their lives before meeting each other, they are both pretty terrible at coming up with stories on the spot. Vaughn will sometimes tease Goro about reading him bedtime stories to help him fall asleep. As soon as Goro starts off with "once upon a time", Vaughn puts a stop to it in a fit of laughter.

42. What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

Rainy evenings. Not hard rain, not thunderstorms, but soft rain. Rain that you can still hear on the roof of your car, but not terribly loud and obnoxious. Really calm and soothing, where the wind is also blowing just right. When they decide to go stay with the Aldecaldos for a few weeks at a time they purposely stay outdoors where they can feel the rain, it's even better when the sun is setting. Kisses in the rain you say? Count them in.

[subspencer]

imagine teasing little baby spence in the car. Like the teams SUV bro. maybe you wore a top that did your body some favors, and maybe it’s a v-neck or a scoop neck. maybe you wore pants that make your ass look . and the way you’re driving,,, the focus you have, the confidence you display, the way your hand grips the wheel, it just has him unable to keep his eyes off you. he tries, of course, but his eyes keep drifting back over to you and your body. you see this out of the corner of your eye and see him shuffling and shifting and squirming, but you try to ignore it. you two have been sent to the precinct to start a geographical profile. you have things to do. but he just keeps staring and squirming so you finally hit him with “everything okay, pretty boy?” and he was so preoccupied with how you look and your demeanor that he didn’t even think about the fact that you might be able to see him or that he wasn’t being subtle. and so suddenly he’s just sputtering trying to come up with a good reason to have been staring like he was. He can’t even come up with something before the two of you have arrived at the precinct. however, by the way he was staring and squirming, you’ve got a pretty good idea of what it is he wants.

you make an effort throughout the day to create unnecessary contact. asking him to pass you a pen and sliding your hand over his fingers before taking it. resting your hand on his shoulder to look at the map from behind him. maybe you even tell him he’s got an eyelash on his cheek and “wipe it off” for him (spoiler alert, no eyelash). you spend the whole time getting him all pent up and frustrated. when the night rolls around hotch calls you two from the field and tells you two to head to the hotel for the night.

the drive is silent for the first few minutes but you feel his eyes on you. you decide the two of you have time so you’re gonna put on a show for him. you stretch your body out and let out a little sigh that conveniently could be a moan in a different context. you shift your hips around a little bit. you stretch your neck and let out something maybe a little closer to a real moan. you hear spence let out an involuntary whimper and when you look over his head is in his hands. you look down and see a pretty prominent bulge in his pants, so you decide to take matters into your hands and turn off to find some abandoned back road. he notices and asks why you turned there, but you just stay silent until you find a spot to pull over and turn on the emergency lights and maybe even the police lights, just to make sure nobody bugs you or the car. you look over at him and tell him to be honest with you and tell you what he wants. obvious answers scream through his head but all he can do is blush and avoid eye contact. you can see you won’t get anywhere like this so you take his chin and gently tilt his head so he’s looking into your eyes. you tell him if he wants you to take care of that little problem he’s got for him, he needs to get out of the car and into the backseat, or if he’d prefer to pretend none of this ever happened, he can sit right there and they’ll drive off and never breathe another word of it.

his eyes go wide, and he hesitates because he’s not sure if you’re being genuine or if this is just to mess with him, but as he looks into your eyes he realizes this is for real. as soon as he confirms that he’s not getting played he rushes to undo his seatbelt and scrambles into the back. you follow his actions, far calmer than him, ofc, and you make sure to lock the car once you’re both inside in the back together. you go to touch his neck, and he leans into your touch with a soft sigh. you move to straddle him and press soft kisses on his face, and ask him if everything you’re doing is okay, and all he can do is nod vigorously. you tell him that if at any point he wants to stop he just needs to say it. he breathes out a soft “I won’t” and looks into your eyes, and something about that just makes you go feral. you start to kiss his lips with a hunger and lust, starting to tour his body with your hands as you feel him submit to you. he kisses back like the sweet touch starved boy he is, running his hands up and down your sides. you pull off your clothes from the waist up and tell him he can touch you however he’d like before you dive back in to kiss him. his hands are immediately on your chest. you arch your back and lean into his touch, feeling his thumbs rubbing back and forth over your nipples, and your lips are forced to disconnect from his by the moan that leaves your body. he begins to beg, “please, more” and you’re more than happy to oblige.

you slip your hands between your bodies to undo a few buttons on his shirt before you let them travel to his pants, which you unbutton and unzip so you can palm him through just his underwear. the way he moans and ruts into your hand is such a turn on, and you know you have to have him inside you. you stop touching him to start to wrestle your pants and underwear down and he hooks his fingers into the waistband to help push them down and off your legs as you lean into him for support to get them off completely. he stares at your body as you shift his pants down just enough so that you can push his underwear off and free his dick from the straining fabric. you take one of his hands off of you and guide it between the two of you and tell him to push his middle and ring finger inside of you. he’s a good boy and does as told, and it feels phenomenal, those long fingers exploring the warm, wet cavern, but that’s not their final destination. you pull his fingers out and help him drag that wetness to your clit, and tell him to rub little circles into that spot. ever eager to please, he does so, and you have to brace your hands on his chest to support yourself after the immediate jolt of pleasure, but once you’ve gotten into the groove of it, you’re on a mission. you guide his length to your entrance and sink down on him slowly, and he has to stop for a second to take in the sheer pleasure he’s experiencing in this moment. once he’s returned to his actions and you can tell he’s ready for more, you slowly begin to ride him, bouncing up and down and getting lost in the mix of it all; the sheer pleasure is overwhelming, and it is only aided by the sounds of both of your moans filling the hot air inside the car. the sound of skin slapping skin and the feeling of spencer moaning and whimpering into your neck as he feels your walls clench around him has your insides tying a knot that will soon come undone. you start to ride faster, come down harder, slipping your fingers into his hair and pulling so he’s looking at you before you lean down to leave a dark hickey right below his collarbone. you feel him twitch inside of you and know you’re both close. you tell him to rub your clit faster as you chase not just yours, but his orgasm as well. he’s dangerously good at following instructions, and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. he feels your walls begin to flutter and wraps his lips around your pebbled nipples and that throws you all the way off the cliff. your sudden orgasm triggers his, and you two ride out your highs together in absolute bliss. as you slow down to a stop, you’re both breathing heavy and leaning into one another for support. you peel yourself off and collect your underwear and pants and begin to redress yourself. as you reach for your bra and top he mutters a quick “uh.. thank you for that” as he fixes his shirt, pants, and underwear. you hit him with “anytime” as you finish putting yourself back together and exit the back of the vehicle. as you hop back in the front you back at him and ask if he plans to ride back to the hotel back there. as he exits and re-enters the SUV, you cut off the emergency lights and both of you buckle up. you drive back to the hotel in silence, and you head straight for your room with a nonchalant “goodnight spence.” he has no idea what just happened, but is thankful that it did, and even more so thankful for the eidetic memory that would allow him to remember this in perfection.

LMAO i did not mean to write a whole ass fic in your ask box i’m just Irreparably Horny™️ and once I started it just kept flowing. you are not at all obligated to post this 😂 ❤️ luh you bestie

-🍭

bestie i read this right before passing out last night so thank you for the bedtime story <3 this masterpiece must be shared i can’t believe you just got on a roll and popped the hell off like this 😩 i wish fjjxkdjsjs it take me eons to think of a single word

[ahkaahshi]

sleeping over at their s/o’s house for the first time [scenarios]

pairings: sakusa kiyoomi; hirugami sachirou; kuroo tetsurou x fem reader

genre: fluff and humor, as per usual

warning(s): n/a

notes: kinda popped off on hirugami’s part. couldn't help myself. not sorry bout it either. can’t wait til we get to see more of his cute lil face in the anime.

he is so painfully awkward I love him

will just stand in the entryway with his duffle slung over his shoulder, staring straight at you until you tell him when he can put his stuff

this literally isn’t his first time over at your house but he acts like it???

poor baby’s obviously nervous about ~ spending the night ~

immediately washes his hands

brings his own pillow

asks if you’ve sanitized all your surfaces recently/if anyone in your household has been sick lately

does he wanna play video games? not until he’s wiped down all the controllers.

does he wanna watch real housewives? no, but you put it on anyway because you know he secretly loves the drama

does he want a snack? possibly? but refuses to eat on your bed because lying on crumbs is nasty

all he does is get under the covers and hang out

only moves to brush his teeth and, of course, wash his hands

will do a face mask with you but only after thoroughly reading the contents of the bottle/package

wears his hoodie and sweats to bed

is asleep before 10pm

2/10. total party pooper who only gets points because he’s hot and dislikes the same housewives as you do

Moments after releasing a rather loud guffaw at a funny scene from the television show you have playing on your laptop, you hear a small groan echo from beside you. Turning your head to the source of the noise brings your attention to your boyfriend, whose tall form rested on the bed beside you, ensconced in your blankets. His eyelids flutter open and his eyes the color of charcoal fasten on you before narrowing in a small glare of annoyance from underneath the sea of black waves atop his head.

Maybe you would’ve felt even the slightest bit intimidated if his face wasn’t close to being absorbed by the yellow fabric of his hoodie--and if he hadn’t flattened his hair against his forehead by closing the drawstrings to secure his hood around his head.

“Kiyo!” you whine, crossing your arms in front of you chest, “Were you really asleep just now?”

His dark eyebrows furrow as he answers matter-of-factly, “Yes. You know I go to bed at ten o’clock, (f/n). It’s ten thirty.”

You roll your (e/c) eyes at him and protest, “But this is a sleepover! Would it kill you to stay awake a little longer so you can spend some precious time with your beloved girlfriend?”

“Lack of sleep can lead to sickness. Sickness can lead to death. So, yes, staying awake longer to spend precious time with my beloved girlfriend could kill me.”

“I hate you.”

He lets out a long sigh and reaches over towards your laptop to close it, putting an end to your Real Housewives marathon. Once he’s moved it off of your bed, one of his arms snakes around your waist and pulls your body down towards the mattress. His midnight gaze doesn’t falter as he says, “If you get sick, I won’t be able to spend time with you like this, so sleep with me.”

Your heart skips a beat at his tenderly spoken words, and you crawl underneath the covers so you can place your head on his muscular chest and curl up beside him. The feeling of his warmth surrounding you is enough to make you melt into his arms and forgive him for completely ditching you in favor of sleep.

“(F/n).”

“Yes, baby?”

“If you kick me off the bed, this will be our last sleepover.”

sweet boy who is very excited to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house!!

brings snacks and movies

he enjoys doing any activity with you, whether it’s watching movies, playing video/board games, or just cuddling on the couch and talking

not hard to please at all!!!

watches rom coms with you. secretly a hopeless romantic

you’ll probably spend at least ten minutes of your night trying to catch pieces of popcorn in your mouths

and another ten doing the same thing with m&ms

poor boy is too tall to fit under your blankets, so you have to give him an extra one for his legs and feet

bedtime attire consists of boxers with corgis on them, a sweater, and crew socks to keep his tootsies warm 🥺

brings you a pair of matching, corgi-patterned sleeping shorts bc he wants to twin with you

your parents are gone, meaning you can do chaotic activities...

... like baking at 2am!!

he loves to bake (and you can’t convince me otherwise). pls bake with him

wants to stay up all night with you but ends up passing out around 3am after y'all eat all the cookies you made together

11/10, best sleepover ever

Few things were more romantic than spending an evening with your boyfriend on your hands and knees, against the cold, tile floor of the kitchen, cleaning up the aftermath of the mess you’d created.

Lifting your gaze from the white goop coating the flooring, you glance over at Hirugami, who looks completely unfazed and unbothered despite his face still being decorated with dollops of whipped cream. Beholding this sight once more sends you into another fit of laughter that makes it hard for you to keep yourself steady.

“What?” he asks, a small smile creeping onto his lips at seeing you so amused.

In between breaths, you manage to ask, “Why’ve you still got whipped cream on your face?”

With a roll of his chestnut brown eyes, he uses his fingers to swipe some of it off so he can help himself to another serving. “Obviously,” he scoffs sassily, “I’m saving it for later.” His smart comment makes you snort rather unattractively, which, in turn, causes chuckles to pour out from his mouth. “I’m assuming that’s what you’re doing too, right?”

Your (e/c) eyes widen, since you thought you’d done a good job of clearing up the results of your whipped cream battle from your face. A glance at your reflection in the glass of the oven where the cookies were slowly baking soon proved you wrong. Instead of being irritated by this discovery, however, you let out another, wheezing laugh and fell onto your side.

To any outsider, the situation would’ve looked rather strange--an incredibly tall volleyball player dressed only in corgi-patterned boxers, a sweater, and socks, face covered in whipped cream as he fell about laughing with his girlfriend who wore a similar ensemble and was sporting the same whipped cream situation. However, in your defense, it was two o’clock am, and you were high on sugar.

"Come over here and I’ll get the rest off your face, then,” Hirugami suggests, extending his long arms towards you that beckon you closer to him. After you scoot closer to him, he pulls you into his embrace and starts peppering your skin reddened from laughing so heartily with kisses. With each press of his lips against your face, your heart flutters in your chest.

He only pulls away from you when the oven beeps, alerting you that the cookies you’ve been awaiting are finally ready. But he does so with hesitation, seeing as he’d been caught up in savoring the sweet taste of your lips instead.

“You ready to eat some cookies?” he asks with a grin.

Your reply makes him snicker: “Always.”

is fully prepared to stay up the entire night (spoiler alert: doesn't)

made an entire party playlist for y'all to listen to throughout the evening

expect lots of dancing, vibing, singing, and buzzfeed unsolved episodes

brings dance dance revolution over to your house and then proceeds to challenge you to a dance off

was not prepared for what you brought to the table

tries twerking to distract you but still fails

will go on a midnight mcdonalds run with you

is the kinda person to share deep, late night thoughts with

only with him can your conversations go from discussing the questions of human existence to debating which form of potatoes is the most elite

will 100% do face masks with you to keep his complexion lookin godly

INSISTS on watching scary movies

expectation: “don’t worry, babe; I got you!!”

reality: is visibly shaking underneath the covers, questioning all the shadows in your house

wears only a pair of shorts to bed even tho it’s cold af (he runs hot, if ya know what I mean heheh)

8/10. would’ve scored the last 2 points if he hadn’t stolen the blankets and made you wonder if your house was haunted

"(F/n).”

The familiar and gentle voice of your boyfriend rouses you from your semi-conscious state, and you hear the sheets of your bed rustle.

“I’m so tired, Tetsu... what is it?” you wonder groggily, not even bothering to open your eyes to see what’s upset him.

“I think your house is haunted,” is his response. Though he speaks calmly and coherently, his hazel eyes are wide with fear and darting around the dark bedroom.

“Oh, stop. I knew it was a bad idea to watch those supernatural Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes before bed.”

The bed sinks behind you, and you feel the warmth of the blanket he’d stolen from you earlier around your body as he pulls you towards him so your back is flush against his chest. While you appreciate his closeness to you, you can tell he’s far from relaxed. The grip his fingers have around one of your shoulders is tight, as if he’s using it as a stress ball.

You murmur his name with indignation and pry his cold hand off your shoulder, but press a gentle kiss against the back of it. “Baby, go to sleep.”

He noticeably stiffens when a quiet whoosh sounds from another part of your house. “What the heck was that?” he asks from where his face is buried in the back of your neck, too afraid to look around and risk finding something he might not want to see.

“The dishwasher.”

“Y-Yeah,” he stammers, “the dishwasher... of course...” 

With a gentle groan, you lift your head so you can turn and press a gentle kiss against his forehead in an attempt to soothe him. As soon as you plop back down onto your pillow, Kuroo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, desperate to get a wink of sleep.

The sound of a creak brings both of you to attention moments later, however, and your heart begins to race.

“That was the house settling... right?” you whisper.

He pulls the blanket over both of your heads, fully cloaking your bodies beneath it and says, “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go with that.”

At this point, you realize it’s going to be a long night for reasons other than those you’d expected.

[inawickedlittletown]

Can I Be Close To You

Summary: Buck doesn't have a "covid crush", which doesn't mean he isn't hiding something. A look inside Buck's head during 4.01 and 4.02. 

Words: 3,249

Notes: Cannot escape writing fic, apparently. So here we are. Obviously there be spoilers here for the aired episodes. This fic is pre-relationship/pre-buddie. Title from Bloom by The Paper Kites. Enjoy. 

Read on Ao3

-

The one thing that Buck was grateful for was that Chimney wasn’t teasing him about his “covid crush” outside of the apartment. It was something he only ever brought up when Maddie called or whenever Buck made the mistake of being too loud or using his phone or laptop outside of his bedroom when Chim was around. Chimney of course also noticed whenever Buck got alerts or calls on his phone that had him rushing away. Buck didn’t really care about the teasing. He did care that no one find out why he was being so secretive. It was just easier to be teased about something that wasn’t true, than to be teased for what was true. 

The problem was that they were in the middle of a global crisis. A pandemic the likes of which hadn’t been seen for about a hundred years. It was a lot. In March when everything started to go wrong it had been easy to convince himself and everyone else that it would be over fast. That lockdown would work and in a few weeks or a few months everything would go back to normal. Hen and Bobby had been the firsts to question that logic because they only expected things to get worse. Buck really hated when they were right. Of course, nothing was normal anymore. 

Hen was the one to bring up concerns about them doing their jobs during the pandemic and bringing the virus home to their families. Between all her work to put her in the path of becoming a doctor, and being an amazing paramedic to boot, Hen was the first to start pushing them on the road to taking extra caution. Her concern for her family and for the families of the others was real and unfortunately necessary. 

“I don’t want to stop working. I want to help people and we are more important than ever right now,” Hen had put it into words back then. It was everything they were all feeling. 

Buck had lost count of the number of calls that made them practically just collectors of the dead or dying. Not just that but they all knew first responders that had been personally affected by Covid-19 and it wasn’t just them but their families too. Buck was the only one with no one back at his apartment waiting for him. That’s what gave him the idea. 

“You can come stay with me if that makes you feel better,” he offered. 

Hen hadn’t hesitated for long. She and Karen had had a long conversation about it and before Buck knew it he had Hen and then Chimney living with him. It was nice. It made it easier to bury all the anxiety and worry that had been clawing at him with every article or video or news report that he consumed. His living room had been taken over by an aerobed for Hen while Chim took the sofa. 

Eddie showed up a week after Hen and Chim with a sleeping bag under his arm. 

“I have Carla staying with Christopher. It seemed — it’s for the better, you know? Can I — is there room for one more?” 

In reality, Buck’s apartment wasn’t all that big, but Buck wasn’t going to turn away his best friend. So, Buck just welcomed him in. And for a while, despite everything going on in the world, things were okay. Buck wasn’t freaking out with every new report on the rise in cases and the rise in the dead and how the curve wasn’t flattening and yet the intrusive thoughts nevertheless showed up in his head and late at night when everyone else was sleeping his phone was right there with more information and facts and figures that made it hard to imagine that the world would ever be set to rights. 

Eddie was the first to notice that Buck wasn’t getting a lot of sleep. It became a whole thing with Eddie and Hen and Chim feeling like they were being imposing and Buck not being able to voice that it wasn’t them, but everything else. Somehow, he managed to convince them that they weren’t in his way. 

Buck had tried to reach out to Frank, but he was overwhelmed with clients and all of them of the first responder persuasion. Buck had felt weird asking the department to help him find someone else to talk to and it was only partially to do with the time he slept with his therapist and certainly more to do with how Buck knew other first responders probably needed the help more than he did. In other firehouses, some firefighters and paramedics had succumbed to the virus. Catching it was the newest hazard of the job. Frank did him the favor of sending him a few names. At first, Buck figured it wasn’t that important. So, he put it off. 

He focused on being present. In sitting with Chim while they video called Maddie and in jumping in to say hello to Denny, Nia, and Karen and in reading a bedtime story here or there to Christopher when Eddie wasn’t available and even when he was, the two of them sitting in the kitchen or up in Buck’s room, shoulders pressed together. He tried not to watch the news, and he tried not to keep looking at the numbers. 

Pretending wasn’t easy, but after two nights of Eddie catching him up at 3am eyes glued to his phone, Eddie made a point of taking his phone away at night. And then, instead of sleeping down on the first floor, Eddie moved up to the loft on the small camping mat and sleeping bag. 

He and Eddie talked until they drifted off, and sometimes it felt better to not be able to see Eddie and to stare out in the shadowed ceiling. Talking to Eddie made it easier to let go of the day, to not let his mind wander and come up with more of the world’s problems to worry about. 

So, Buck didn’t think about therapy. Not while he had Eddie near him at night keeping him distracted and willing to stay up until late discussing nothing at all. Buck couldn’t imagine Chim or Hen bothering to do that for him. Rarely, it did happen that Eddie was the one wrung out and needing a conversation. He missed Christopher too much or something they’d seen at work had been just a little too close to home. They were there for each other and all of it just worked. 

Of course, that was when Hen decided that it was time she go back home. She missed her kids too much. She missed her wife too much. Eddie didn’t last more than a few days after Hen’s decision as if Hen making that first move made it okay. Buck didn’t blame him, not with the way that Buck missed Christopher which just meant that it was twice as bad for Eddie. And once they were gone and there was just he and Chimney left, Buck found himself falling into old habits. Chimney wasn’t as much of a distraction especially when he spent so much of his time talking to Maddie or reading parenting books, and because Chimney didn’t turn off the news like Eddie or Hen would. 

Being in his room alone at night without anything to keep his mind occupied and missing Eddie’s voice and the way that Buck could calm himself to the sound of his breathing brought Buck to a breaking point. He needed help. 

Dr. Copeland was the second therapist he had a video call with. She was calm and friendly and she didn’t push him to talk. It felt okay to share his concerns with her in a way that he couldn’t say out loud to everyone in his life. Buck didn’t know if it was somehow easier because she was someone that didn’t know him in real life, or if it had something to do with how Buck could tell that she cared and wanted to help, but he found himself opening up. Dr. Copeland didn’t push, but she did give him insight. She made him aware of the ways that he was being unhealthy about the pandemic. 

Chimney picked up at once that Buck was keeping a secret. It took him a little longer to figure out that Buck was talking to someone through a screen and in the same breath to assume that it was some woman that Buck started dating. It did make Buck wonder if people were actually doing that — the whole dating through skype or zoom or facetime. Buck didn’t try to correct him or to be too bothered by Chim teasing him. He didn’t even worry too much once Maddie found out because Maddie wasn’t there in front of him to get the whole thing out of him. So the “covid crush” gave him an excuse to not tell them the truth. Dr. Copeland kept telling him he should tell them how he felt, but Buck didn’t want that burden on his friends and family when the world itself seemed to want to crush them. And either way, he’d been feeling a lot better about everything. He wore his mask and he followed protocols, and he didn’t allow himself to think in “what ifs”. 

Emergencies were his job. He better than most knew the quick turn that things could take for the worse. But as Dr. Copeland reminded him, fear couldn’t rule his life even if there was a lot to be afraid of. And it wasn’t the virus that Buck feared, it was loss. Losing his friends and losing his family and being incapable of changing anything. He was, thus, hyper alert. About the pandemic, and about anything else that might prompt worry. Dr. Copeland thought that too much information could be harmful to his mental health, but for Buck knowing facts and doing research kept him from spiralling. 

It was Dr. Copeland that made the connection to Buck’s past trauma and realized how likely it was that his worry stemmed from that — from the truck falling on his leg and the tsunami and perhaps even more than that, other parts of his life that he retained and that still bothered him on a deep level. She asked him how much he hid away and didn’t deal with — how much he coped with by researching and by using facts against worry. It made Buck think. 

Then, the micro-quakes happened. And Buck got all the alerts, he read up on the dam and he pictured all that could go wrong. 

Worrying didn’t mean panicking for him. Buck was cool under pressure, he was good at his job. Most of the problems came after when he considered what might have happened and also how many hadn’t made it out alive. Not because of the virus. But because of a disaster. But by the end of the day, Chimney had finally moved out and Buck had a new roommate in Albert, and after everything that happened in the day, Buck figured that he maybe needed to take his own advice and realize that he couldn’t let fear hold him back. 

So when his next therapy session came up, he admitted it to Dr. Copeland. Confirmed what she’d been telling him about himself. He hid his true feelings. He hid away behind platitudes and facts and letting things go because it was easier to move forward than to linger and make things weird with his friends and with his family. Examining that fully meant talking about the past and Dr. Copeland, as gentle as she was in letting him lead the conversation, asked the kind of questions that weren’t easy to answer. 

She pressed him about why he feared sharing his feelings and why he felt he had a need to keep so much to himself and Buck was cognizant enough to realize it was his fear of being alone. 

“I just...I don’t think they get it,” Buck said. “I don’t think they see it. At the beginning of this whole thing — the pandemic — they all had someone. My sister is pregnant and she had just moved in with her boyfriend and his brother. Hen has her wife and kids. Bobby has Athena and their kids. Eddie, he has Christopher. And the reason I even have Albert here right now is that he rather not be around my sister and her boyfriend now they’re finally together again. I’m alone. I’m always alone.”

“But you aren’t,” Dr. Copeland insisted. “You have people. Your team, your sister. Evan, you are not alone. It may feel like you are, but that just isn’t true. I haven’t known you very long, but the way you talk about your team and your sister it is clear you have a support team. That is why I’m encouraging you to speak with them and share your worry and share even this — that you are getting help and looking at things with a new perspective.” 

It was easier to hear it told to him that to do something like admit to Maddie that he was so full of issues that he actually needed therapy. Of course, Maddie herself had gone through a long bout of therapy after Doug and yet compared to that, Buck didn’t feel like he was all that messed up. 

“I get what you’re saying. I do. I just...it doesn’t feel like it. And I don’t want to burden them with more just because I’m feeling left behind or just…”

“And that brings us back to you hiding your true feelings,” Dr. Copeland said. “Is there even one person you feel comfortable talking to about this. Your sister perhaps.”

Buck shook his head at once. “No. No. I couldn’t bother Maddie. She has enough on her plate.” 

But his mind went to Eddie. Eddie had noticed he wasn’t doing well. Eddie had moved to sleep on Buck’s floor and then talked to him until he fell asleep. And since going back home to Christopher it wasn’t like Eddie had forgotten about Buck, because when he had the time sometimes he would call Buck and they would talk over the phone and it had brought him back to those nights. At work neither of them brought that up, they just worked as seamlessly as ever. 

“I don’t want to pressure you, Evan. You’re doing so well and admitting and realizing that you’re holding yourself back is an amazing place to be. I just know that you’ll feel even better once you start sharing your feelings or working through them.” 

Dr. Copeland always gave him plenty to think about. And he considered the notion of coming clean to someone — to Eddie — and maybe getting other things off his chest. His fears about the pandemic, the things about his parents that had made them horrible parents to him and Maddie both, how Buck had so many things about himself that he left unacknowledged, and the loneliness. Eddie wasn’t exactly good with emotions either, but he would at least understand the therapy aspect. Eddie had stopped seeing Frank a while ago, but Buck knew that Frank had done what he could to help Eddie and that Eddie had come out the other side lighter and less jaded. 

“I’ll think about it,” Buck said. 

“Good.”

They talked about other things for the rest of the session and then Buck went back down to join Albert. He’d let Maddie and Chim go, so instead he was busy on his phone. 

“Seriously, dude, how did you meet someone? Now that I’m here, I need to know.” 

Buck rolled his eyes. At times Albert reminded Buck of his younger self, the guy that had been interested in nothing but chasing tail and hoping that that would fill the parts of him that were broken. It hadn’t ever worked, at least not for long. Vividly, he could recall wanting to make connections with those girls and the way that they’d all looked at him like he was asking for far too much. 

“For one thing, I’m not seeing anyone. For another, dating apps are still a thing even if completely inadvisable because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. It might even be good for you to not be hooking up with random girls.”

Albert just pouted at him and groaned. “I just want this to be over.” 

“So does everyone,” Buck pointed out. 

Albert would probably have made a good choice in finding someone to tell about the therapy. He was a good kid and if Buck asked him to, he wouldn’t go blabbing to everyone else. Not to mention that Albert was a bit removed from it all too in his own way. Still, when Buck opened his mouth to say something, the words didn’t want to come out. 

The next time he was at work and Eddie was walking at his side, Buck turned towards him, and Eddie’s gaze met his. They shared a quick smile. It was easy, a habit. 

“How’s Christopher?” Buck asked.

“Misses Carla. Misses everyone, really, but after all that time with Carla he got used to having her around all the time.” 

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you around, man,” Buck said. 

Eddie nudged him. “You know, Buck, I didn’t even think about it that way.”

Buck shrugged at him. Being around Eddie made most of everything else fade away. And when later that day, they were walking from the ladder truck onto a call, Buck just threw a grin his way and Eddie returned it. 

At the end of their shift, Buck walked with Eddie to their cars. 

“Do you remember, before all this, we’d just head over to mine or yours with Christopher. I miss those nights,” Eddie said. 

Buck hadn’t thought about it. He tried not to think about before — about how different life had been back then and how similar because even then he’d done that thing where he pretended that everything was alright. He’d kept it to himself how alone he felt and he’d kept it to himself that sometimes when he and Eddie were sitting in his living room side by side, he wished that it was permanent. It wasn’t about Eddie — or even about Christopher — it was about how Buck longed to have people. Family. 

That had been a thing for a long time. Long before Abby and before he’d moved to California when he’d gone from place to place trying to find himself and trying desperately to belong. The 118 had been one of the first places where he began to feel like he’d found a place, but he’d soon found that it wasn’t enough. It was one thing to love a job and to make it all that he was, but if his time recovering from the ladder truck incident had taught him anything, it was that he needed more outside of the job. It was just that he had no luck finding it. 

“Me too,” Buck said and then before they had reached their cars. “Hey, Eddie, can we talk tonight?” 

Eddie’s face showed some of his surprise. They had never acknowledged it before, not out loud outside of the phone calls or outside of Buck’s bedroom. 

“Sure we can,” Eddie said, crinkles around his eyes forming as he smiled. 

Buck nodded and then he climbed into his Jeep. 

[sambergscott]

his boy loves books!! mac + 📚 hcs based on andy’s live because my head is Spinning:

- amy taking mac to the library from when he was very young and she was bored on ml, showing him all her favourite books and those sweet sweet organization systems

- both of them love reading him stories together (at anytime really) but ESPECIALLY before bed. the only thing better is when they catch the other one reading to him in quiet voices on early sunday mornings and being like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- jake is ofc renowned for his silly voices and sound effects, mac especially loves the fire engine siren noises (he starts doing them whenever they see a fire engine in public and it’s Very cute)

- in typical santiago fashion, he learns to read super early and loves showing off his new skills to camila & victor

- when his little sister is born, he loves reading to her, too. he puts a blanket over the two of them and points at the words as he reads them and even lets her turn the page “because i’m such a good big brother, right, mama?” “the best,” she says, amused. if he inherited her love of books, he definitely inherited jake’s lack of modesty

- the first time he reads harry potter is a very Big day in the peralta household (spoiler alert: he loves all of them and definitely cries on the toilet when cedric dies) (also once he learns how to say all the spells he does them on everyone especially his LEAST favourite cousin mason when he steals his football 😾)

- amy often catches him way past his bedtime with the shouldernova on and even though he has school in the morning she squeezes onto his bed and asks him to read to her for 10 mins

- jake gets home from work to find them both asleep with the book still in his hands. he loves his 2 book nerds

[sdottkrames]

Queen of Hearts: A Mentalist Fic

@comfortember Prompt 2: First day/night.

Summary: A year with Jane and Lisbon’s little girl. (Spoiler alert: everyone is in love).

Notes:  This is a two part fic. Chapter Two will be up towards the end of this month, so stay tuned!

Read it on AO3: here

Again, if anybody would like to be tagged, let me know. I hope you enjoy!

Day One

Teresa woke up that morning, normal as anything. Patrick was already up as per usual, sipping his special tea. He shot her a happy, golden smile, making her heart melt. She wandered over to him, running her hand through his curls.

“Good morning,” he murmured, and handed her a cup of coffee, just the way she liked it. Somehow, he always made it better. She had a theory that he hid some really expensive coffee somewhere, but she knew he’d never tell her if she asked, and knew better than to try and find it. She’d never be able to outwit Patrick.

She sipped her coffee and smiled over the rim. “Hey.”

It was a quiet moment. Sweet, simple, and full of love. But then it was shattered with the sensation of water running down her legs. Teresa nearly choked on her coffee.

“Teresa, you alright?”

She shot him a look filled with terror, and placed a hand on her stomach. Her brain was short circuiting. She’d faced serial killers, guns, and knives without hardly a blink. But delivering a baby? Very new territory.

Patrick understood the message, and understood her inner panic. He quickly led her to their bedroom where he threw her some sweatpants and grabbed the overnight bag they packed a week ago while she changed.

She focused on breathing through the fear and pain as Patrick sped to the hospital, surprised to find she was grateful for his erratic driving for once.

At 1:37 PM, Cameron Angela Jane came into the world. She had eyes like her father and hair like her mother. Patrick cried, Teresa cried, Cameron cried (of course). In short, there were a lot of tears.

Teresa and Patrick had gone back and forth on names for a long time. She had wanted, of course, to honor Patrick’s late wife or daughter somehow, but Patrick had also been insistent on honoring Teresa’s family. They decided on Cameron, after Teresa’s mother, and Angela, after Jane’s wife. There had been tears then, too.

Aside from the first few minutes, Cameron was surprisingly quiet for a baby. Once she had been bathed and nestled into her mother’s arms, she settled instantly. The doctors had her nurse right away, and the little girl was asleep within seconds once her stomach was filled.

Teresa felt her heart shifting and swelling to make room for this beautiful, precious baby like her stomach had done for 9 months before.

She couldn’t take her eyes away.

“She’s so perfect,” she whispered, sniffling back a few tears.

“I know,” a quiet voice beside her said softly, and Teresa looked over at the only person that could possibly make her happier than the little bundle in her arms. Patrick.

“We did a good job, didn’t we?”

“Well, you did most of it, love,” he grinned, his eyes so filled with happiness and love, in such stark contrast to the sadness and bitterness that had filled them when she first met him.

She offered him the bundle of blankets, and watched tears fall as he took their daughter ever so gently and stared at her with such adoration and wonder.

Patrick tore his eyes away to look at Teresa again, and the hospital bed squeaked as she shifted to let him climb into it with her, carefully maneuvering so he didn't wake his precious cargo. She snuggled right up against his side, laying her head on his shoulder with a happy sigh. Feeling whole, and content, and incredibly exhausted, she let her eyes droop.

Patrick noticed, observant as ever, and gently kissed her forehead. “You should rest,” he whispered, and quietly started to hum until both his girls were sleeping peacefully.

One Month

Patrick and Teresa moved around each other like a practiced machine. Cameron (or Cammy, as they’d taken to calling her) was sleeping. But only for about another 45 minutes. They needed to get everything done before their world became completely absorbed by Cammy again.

Not that they would complain. They had created a habit of watching her sleep when they were supposed to be sleeping, missing precious time because they only got three hours at a time. .

“What is it about babies sleeping that’s so cute?” Teresa had asked one night as they stared at their sleeping daughter, twin looks of adoration on their faces.

“I don’t know. I was the same way with Charlotte, though. I’d stay awake all night just watching her sleep if Angela didn’t pull me to bed.”

He’d been talking about his family more lately, Cammy brought up memories of another little baby girl, and Teresa gave his hand a squeeze. She was relieved to see no sadness on his face, just wistful memories, and then Cammy yawned and he melted, and even the wistfulness faded.

But it wasn’t bedtime. It was naptime, and they were in mission mode.

Since bringing Cammy home, their normally (relatively) clean house had been a mess. Dishes left in the sink for days at a time, baby toys and blankets and diapers littering the floor, and their laundry hamper overflowing. But they developed a system, and Saturdays’ naps are for cleaning house.

Patrick grabbed the laundry from their room (tip toeing past the nursery) and Teresa took it from him with practiced precision as he continued down the hall to the kitchen. Once the wash was going, she started picking up the living room.

They finish and collapse onto their couch with 10 minutes to spare.

“We’re getting better,” Patrick murmured, sliding down so his head was in his wife’s lap and his legs hung over the armrest. Her hands started running through his curls of their own accord and he smiled softly as his eyes drooped.

The peaceful moment was broken 5 minutes later as cries began to erupt from the nursery, and Patrick immediately sat up. “I got her.”

While Teresa relaxed back into the couch, Patrick made his way down the hallway.

“Hey, little dove. Good morning!” he cooed as he opened the door.

The nursery had become one of his favorite rooms in the house. The walls were a beautiful, light mint blue, which made the white furniture and curtains stand out. (He’d insisted on the blue. It was Charlotte’s favorite color.) He picked up the sniffling baby from her crib and laid her on the floor to change her diaper.

“How’s my little angel, huh? Did you have a good nap?”

Cammy cooed in response, and Patrick couldn’t help but coo back. He smiled at his daughter. (His daughter!) And then something amazing happened.

She smiled back.

Forgetting about the diaper, Patrick called “Teresa! Come here!” He winces when he heard her running, panicked by the urgency in his tone.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to alarm you, but…she smiled at me! Her first smile!” he said excitedly, gesturing to their still bottom-naked little girl, who was flailing happily on the floor.

Teresa smiled at her baby. “Did you smile at your daddy, huh?”

Cammy’s nose wrinkled as she smiled again, this time directing her smile at her mother. Both her parents smiled back.

Three Months

Cameron had her mother and father completely wrapped around her finger. They both loved her more than they thought it possible to love anyone and would give the world to her if they could.

But that didn’t mean they didn’t want to hand her to someone else to deal with sometimes, too...particularly when she started screaming at 3 in the morning.

“Patrick, your daughter’s awake.”

“No, we both know she wants you, not me. She’s going through a phase ,” he mumbled, turning over in bed to face his wife, his eyes still determinedly shut. “And I got her last time, anyway.”

Teresa groaned as she got up for the third time that night, padding over to the bassinet at the foot of their bed.

Cammy had been sleeping through the night for the last month, much to the amazement and excitement of her parents. She’d nurse before she went to bed, then Teresa would nurse her before she and Patrick went to sleep, and she would be good for about 6 hours. But lately, she had been determined to not sleep for more than two hours at a time.

To top it off, she had, as Patrick complained, been going through a phase where she only wanted her mother. If Patrick so much as looked at her in the middle of the night, she cried impossibly louder until he handed her to Teresa, then she settled down into her normal volume of crying (which, spoiler alert, was still very loud).

In short, Teresa was exhausted.

“Cammy, I love you, but you are making me crazy!” she muttered, picking up the squalling baby.

When the same thing happened the next night, and the night after that, Teresa started to get really desperate. She’d had rough nights before, sure. Calls in the middle of the night to go to a crime scene, nightmares (hers and Jane’s), even getting up with her brothers when she was still at home raising them. But this had hit another level.

And Patrick could tell.

He tried, of course. He tried to get Cammy and pick her up, but nothing he did stopped her from crying. The only way any of them got any sleep was when he gave in and handed her to Teresa. He had no idea what to do, and it was a strange feeling.

Then he got an idea.

It came to him suddenly. Everyone loves to drive with me , he’d joked once to Cho. Driving had always been soothing to him, and he remembered Angela mentioning a friend had driven around to soothe her baby once. Cammy always fell asleep during car rides, anyway.

So, the next time Cammy started screaming, he quickly hopped out of bed and slipped on some shoes.

“I’m going to take her for a drive, see if that helps,” he said to answer the confused look his wife shot him. “Go back to sleep.”

She nodded gratefully and sank back into her pillows.

“Alrighty, little terror, you’re coming with me.”

Cammy protested her car seat. Loudly. But Patrick persisted, refusing to lose a battle to a 3 and a half month old. Once she was buckled, he began to drive. He didn’t pay much attention to where he was going, just hummed along to the classical music he had put on hoping to soothe his daughter.

Slowly, her cries decreased in volume, then turned to whimpers, then stopped altogether.

“Hey, princess, there you are,” he cooed at her, catching her eye in the rearview mirror. To his relief, Cammy shot him a gummy smile instead of her usual angry yell. “Oh, a smile, huh. Thank you. This car ride thing must really be working.”

He turned onto another street, then another, mostly paying attention to the way Cammy’s eyes started drooping and her head started lolling against the side of the car seat. She tried to fight it. Every so often, her eyes would close, and she’d determinedly open them again. But soon she had to give in.

“Finally,” Patrick sighed when her eyes closed and stayed that way. He glanced at the clock. 4:37.

After a few more minutes of driving around to ensure she really was asleep, he made his way back to their house and parked the car, but didn't get out. A car was definitely not the worst place he’d slept, and he didn’t want to chance taking Cammy out and waking her up. Besides, if she stayed in the car with him, Teresa could finally get more than 3 hours of rest.

Soon, he drifted off to the quiet sounds of Mozart and the snuffling sounds his daughter made, and decided they were some of his favorite sounds to go to sleep to.

[quibliography]

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Synopsis:  This novel is about Cath going to college and learning to live outside the life she knows. That life includes hanging out constantly with her twin sister, Wren, and writing non-stop for her Simon Snow fanfiction. She especially can’t imagine life without Simon Snow despite what her fiction-writing professor says and what her roommate’s not-a-boyfriend boy friend thinks about books. But college is a time for self-discovery and it’s time she learned who she is in the real world.

My Quibs: Why do I keep going back to these stories? That’s not to say I can’t appreciate a younger protagonist, but Cath embodies exactly all the problems of being eighteen. Problems I can’t fully sympathize with anymore. Every once in a while she does reach deeper issues (family relationship struggles, imposter syndrome, etc) but it’s quickly covered in teenage drama. I find this a little ironic because I deliberately chose this novel for it’s light-hearted and superficial premise. Like Cath, I don’t want to cope with the real world most of the time and so I hide in my books. But hiding in her world is like revisiting all the most awkward moments of my teens with the added pain of hindsight. She struggles with her fiction-writing class, but she gets one of life’s best strokes of luck: a person in a position of influence who believes in you. As a millennial recession-damaged college grad, having someone go out on a limb for your career is gold. Not to mention, she has a cute guy visit her room and fall for her all within her first semester. A guy who not only constantly makes himself available but helpful to her. (He ditches work to drive her back to her hometown!) It makes her self-conscious introversion seem almost vain.

Should you read it? I’ve noticed Rowell has a style; And if you like her style, then you like her books.

Similar reads?  I have a vague feeling I’ve read Carry On Simon (the fictional fanfiction of Fangirl) and maybe thought perhaps I would like Fangirl based on my impression of Carry On Simon. Unfortunately, I didn’t write down my more precise thoughts on the matter. Like in a book blog or something. **

(Spoiler Alert!) Spoiler?? What spoiler? I sped-read through the end just for the satisfaction of checking it off the list as completed. Otherwise, there would’ve been no satisfaction. I understand that Rowell is more character-driven than plot-driven. But even characters have arcs, conflicts, and resolutions. Cath had no arc (her life as a college freshman? please.) and no conflict (save for the one confrontation she had with her mother in the hospital) and definitely no resolution (the mother never re-enters the conversation let alone the story). If anything, Rowell resolves the novel with the release of the last Simon Snow novel. Why do we even care? Simon Snow is a fictional person inside a fictional story. I got my last Harry Potter book years ago and despite all the obvious parallels, those memories have no connection to that last scene. If anything, it might even taint it. Ugh. I need a moratorium on books about teenage girls.

What did you think of Fangirl?

** As it turns out I did write it down!

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Rainbow Rowell is one of those authors that start off kinda pretty mediocre but really opens up if you stick with her. Like a shy person you're stuck small talking with but after you burn through all the mundane topics you realize has super interesting stories. Carry On is a fictional YA fanfic in a fictional YA world. I already have a strained relationship with fanfic so when I started in, I was pretty critical. I might as well just read the original content! But once it got going, there's an originality that started showing up. The characters, once I stopped tagging them as rule-breaker Hermione or vampiric Draco, have a nice voice of their own. The British lingo was a tad heavy handed but not so distracting in the end. The plot was ... s'okay. Not page-turning thrilling or jaw-dropping twisty but it had a good pace and interesting enough path. The book really is just a semi-indulgent story with familiar characters in a nostalgic magikal world. It's a beach read or a bedtime story. Although. Maybe not for the youngest audience. She does have some of a coming of age/sexual awakening thread to the storyline. Thoroughly enjoyable for fans of fanfiction.

View all my reviews

[rt8815]

Christmas 2020

This fills the “Fix a plothole” square on my CM Bingo card.

Again, no clever title

WC: 2,100

The first scene is mostly unnecessary, but ask me if I care. Spoiler alert: I don’t!

I couldn’t find a picture or GIF that fits, but this one is cute.

Out of all the reindeers, you know you’re the mastermind

Run, run Rudolph, Randolph ain’t too far behind

Run, run Rudolph, Santa’s gotta make it to town

Santa make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down

Run, run Rudolph, ‘cause I’m reelin’ like a merry-go-round

McKinley sang along with Chuck Berry, pulling cookies from the oven.

“What would you like for your first Christmas, my littlest love?” she asked Sophie.

The five month old babbled at her mother, shaking her arms. If she weren’t too young for it, McKinley would’ve sworn she was dancing to the music.

“You’ll want for nothing, certainly! Aunt Penny alone will spoil you rotten, but that’s her job as your fairy godmother, I suppose.”

She smiled wistfully at the memory of Sophie’s birth, how Penny’s godmother-hood was assumed from the moment they announced Baby Reid’s impending arrival, and how utterly mortified Penny had been to learn, birth center bedside, that she would be co-godparenting with Luke.

McKinley considered him as her brother as much as she considered Penny to be her sister. Not only had the four hung out together from the start, Luke had also looked after her the month she and Spencer weren’t speaking to each other, and he was instrumental in getting them back together.

How do you not make such a man your child’s godfather?

Sophie began fussing to be nursed, so McKinley scooped her out of the highchair and carried her to the couch.

Buzz-buzz

A text came from Spencer, asking if she was free for a video chat. Once she powered up her laptop, she sent a quick ‘Yep.’

His face appeared, the picture slightly wobbly until he situated his phone on the kickstand.

“Hey there! How are my two favorite ladies?”

“We’re great,” she replied, turning Sophie in her lap to face the camera. Securing her with one hand on her torso, McKinley gently grasped Sophie’s arm to kiss her hand and wave it at Spencer.

“Who’s that, Sophie? Who’s that handsome devil?”

“Stop,” he mumbled, blushing at her suggestive tone.

“What?” she continued, ignoring his hands slashing across his neck. “You’re gorgeous...irresistible...delectable.”

Spencer’s face graduated to an even deeper pink. “Anyway, takeoff is in 20 minutes and I wanted to see you both before switching to airplane mode.”

“You’re on the jet?” she asked flatly. “Oh God, everyone heard that, didn’t they?”

“Hey, Twist ‘n’ Shout,” Luke winked as he slipped past Spencer to the bathroom.

McKinley facepalmed.

“I tried to warn you.”

“Hush.”

Spencer chuckled. “Is everything ready for tomorrow?”

“Yep,” she replied, grateful for the change of subject. “Just a few dishes left to cook in the morning. Y’all bringing your sides?”

“On it.”

“My pie ingredients are ready and waiting.”

“I’m baking my casserole tonight.”

McKinley sighed in relief. She and Spencer offered to host the family Christmas dinner this year, since Rossi had left to spend the holidays with Joy and Kai. It didn’t make the most sense because their house was rather small, but everyone got on board regardless. The others contributing to the meal eased her anxiety a bit.

They chatted a while longer, and everyone took turns fawning over Sophie, who really started demanding lunch.

“Guess I better go,” McKinley sighed.

Spencer nodded, blowing kisses to his girls.

“See you in a few hours. Love you.”

“We love you too. Say ‘Bye-bye, Daddy.’”

Sophie gurgled as the video chat ended.

…

The tree was lit, the house all decorated, and the smell of roasted meats and vegetables permeated the air.

Spencer eyed the mini doughnuts McKinley made just for him.

She nudged his hip. “Don’t you dare!”

“Awww.”

“Go on then, man-child,” she rolled her eyes. “It is the holidays, I suppose.”

His pout slid into a smirk, tongue darting between his lips. “Actually, I think I’ll wait for dessert until tonight.”

“Spencer, there’s a child present.”

Sophie gazed at them, absentmindedly gnawing on a teething ring.

Ding-dong!

“That’ll be Penny. I hope I did a good job on these vegetarian dishes!”

“I’m sure they’re delicious,” he said reassuringly as he walked to the door.

Penelope hobbled in, laden with gift bags and all decked out in her Christmas best.

She deposited the gifts under the tree, then gave Boogie a quick pat on her way to McKinley.

“Gimme gimme gimme,” Penny ordered, making grabby hands at Sophie.

“Hello, angel,” she cooed. “You know you’re not getting her back until bedtime, right?” Penny informed the couple as she left faint lipstick prints on Sophie’s cheeks and forehead.

“You know that means you’ll be changing any diapers, right?” Spencer replied.

“Small price to pay.”

Everyone trickled in over the next hour, Luke being the last. Penny handed over Sophie with only slight reluctance, perhaps because he seemed to be in a sour mood. 

His scowl dissolved when he held Sophie, breaking into a joyful grin.

“¡Feliz Navidad! ¿Cómo estás, Nena?”

She settled in her uncle’s arms, squeaking happily when he nuzzled her fine, curly hair and kissed her temple.

“Is Lisa driving separately?” McKinley asked, hoisting a massive plate of pheasant and quail off the island. Maybe she went a smidgen overboard.

Luke stiffened. “She's working another shift at the ER,” he replied, never looking away from Sophie. “Told me to tell you she's sorry she couldn't join us.”

Everyone else shared brief, tense glances.

“I'll put together a plate for you to take home for her. Let her know we missed her.”

“Sure.”

“Wine, anyone?” Spencer offered, breaking the awkward silence.

Most of the evening passed smoothly, with everyone sharing child-friendly stories of past Christmases (Henry and Michael were there, of course!), passing around and feeding Sophie, and reading a (sadly) abridged version of A Christmas Carol.

And then Luke felt the need to snidely comment on Penny’s boyfriend’s absence. It was a relatively new relationship and kind of soon to drag each other into their friend groups.

Spencer and McKinley alone heard him in the kitchen, since the rest of the group were chatting excitedly in the den, waiting to exchange presents.

McKinley wrenched open the back door, seizing Luke by the collar. “You, with me. Now.”

She steered a tipsy Luke onto the back porch, locking the door behind her.

“Are you insane? It’s 30 degrees out here!” he growled, swiping at her keys, but McKinley stuffed them down her bra.

“Good! We can make this quick, and maybe you’ll sober up as a bonus. Say it and we can go back inside.”

“Say what?”

“How much you hate that Penelope’s with someone else.”

Luke snorted, though he flushed with embarrassment. “That’s ridiculous. Why would I -?”

“Because she’s not with you!” she exclaimed, her voice shrill. “You have feelings for her and you are kicking yourself for not acting on them in the beginning.”

He laughed incredulously. “I do not have ‘feelings’ for Penelope.”

“Why else would you have discouraged Phil from pursuing her?”

“How the hell do you know that?” he asked, taking a step back.

McKinley threw up her arms. “I knew Phil and Lisa from volunteering in the rehab wing, remember? One morning the spring after he was murdered, I ran into her at a coffee shop following her shift in the ER. We talked about him, how much his death shook us, and then she said, ‘It’s sad he never had the chance to be with Penelope. They’d have been a cute couple.’”

Luke swallowed hard.

“And I found that interesting, since I distinctly recall you telling Penny that Phil hadn’t asked about her. Lisa told me you also said, ‘You’re no match for Penelope Garcia.’? Bro, you got it for her baaad.”

“Did you mention any of this to Lisa?”

“Don’t you think she’d have confronted you if I had?” McKinley countered, rubbing her arms for warmth. “You think Lisa hasn't noticed how frequently you hang out with me, Spencer, and Penny even when she’s not working? Do you think it’s a coincidence that she’s missing all these parties?”

His face hardened. “Are you suggesting that she’s -”

“Cheating? No! Miserable! You two are miserable - don’t deny it!” she warned when he started protesting.

“Luke, you won’t admit out loud that you’re unhappy with Lisa or that part of the reason you jumped into the relationship was to forget Penny. If you did? Well, then you’d be the most awful person on this porch.”

McKinley breathed in the frigid air before continuing. “So, I’m gonna give you an out.”

“How are you gonna do that?”

“By saying something that’s even more awful.” She stared pointedly at the falling snow, voice wavering.

“Like what?”

“Sometimes I hate being a wife and Mom,” she spat venomously. “Sometimes I wanna pack up my old tiny house, drive off and never look back.” She clamped her hands to her mouth, surprising even herself with her confession.

Luke gaped at her for the longest moment, lips parted in shock.

He slumped against the wall. “I shouldn’t be with Lisa, I should be with Penelope. I love her.”

McKinley threw her best ‘No shit, Sherlock’ face his way.

“You serious?”

“In my darkest hours, yes. I love Sophie and Spencer so much, but you remember how much I loved playing live music? I never see Taylor and the gang anymore since I quit The Five Doctors, and it’s been almost a year since I picked up my guitar.”

She leaned into her wall, raking through her hair. “Every day I scramble to meet deadlines at work, then here it’s cooking, cleaning, laundry, feeding and bedtime. I’m a single parent for weeks at a time. It never lets up. It’s really hard, Luke.”

“Have you talked to Spencer about -” he stopped short at the glare on her face.

“Right, that’s not fair of me.”

McKinley retrieved her keys. “Horror of horrors, we have to be adults about this. I need to adjust to my new normal and you need to talk to Lisa, because if you keep avoiding the subject, it’ll blow up in your faces.”

“And Penelope? I’m not sure what to say to her. I mean, does she even feel the same way about me?” He cringed at how junior high that sounded.

“Luke, if you wanna know how Penelope feels, you have to talk to her."

They discreetly returned to the kitchen, where Spencer was pouring cocoa for everyone.

“Presents, presents, presents!” Michael chanted.

Soon the den was drowning in a sea of wrapping paper. At some point, JJ switched her phone to video because the kids were putting on quite a show. Amid the excitement, Sophie squirmed in Penelope’s lap and stretched her arms in Spencer’s direction.

“Had enough Aunt Penny for tonight?” she asked, handing her over. “Okie-dokie. I’m marvelous but I’m not Mommy or Daddy.”

Sophie studied her father’s face intently, vocalizing softly. She suddenly reached up, patting his cheek.

“Dah-dah.”

The room fell silent.

McKinley gasped. “Did she just…?”

“She did,” Spencer whispered in awe. “Her first word. Yes, sweetheart, I’m your Daddy.”

Everyone watched the three huddled together in a private family moment, elated beyond description for their friend. He had waited years for this and he deserved every happiness.

…

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Luke froze, hand hovering by the doorknob. “Uuum, home?”

“Four glasses of wine? You’re not safe to drive. You’re sleeping on our couch.”

“She’s right, Luke. Besides, the weather’s picking up.”

He couldn’t argue with that: the snowfall obscured the street, it was so thick. To be honest, he didn’t want to go home anyway.

McKinley carried Sophie to the nursery, pausing at the hall closet.

“Hmmm, why not?” she muttered to herself.

Once Spencer found blankets and pillows for Luke, he went to help tuck in Sophie. The sound of plucking and twanging caught his attention. Peering into the nursery, he was met with a precious scene.

McKinley stood by the crib, tuning her guitar. Spencer remained silent, not wanting to disrupt her. Slowly, she began softly playing “La Vie En Rose,” speaking the lyrics since she couldn’t actually sing.

...Give your heart and soul to me

And life will always be

La vie en rose

“It’s great hearing you play again.”

“I’m kinda rusty, ” she grinned sheepishly. 

“Nonsense,” he corrected, pulling her into one of those dizzying kisses.

Up close, Spencer could see the exhaustion in his wife’s eyes.

“You’ve done a lot today,” he noted as he rubbed her back. “Let me run you a bath, and then I can read you to sleep. How’s that sound?”

McKinley sighed contentedly. “Perfect.”

---

@illegalcerebral @dreatine @cynbx @cmbingo

[vmheadquarters]

Kirsten Bell Says You Can Expect a "Different Logan" in the Veronica Mars Hulu Revival

She also revealed what fans will find most "shocking."

By Samantha Vincenty May 21, 2019

In an exclusive interview with OprahMag.com, Kristen Bell revealed new details about season four of Veronica Mars.

She added that Veronica and Logan are still together with a "new, fresh, interesting dynamic" in the Hulu revival, premiering July 26.

Bell also explained how her daughters with husband Dax Shepard—Lincoln, 6, and Delta, 4—are the reason she agreed to play Veronica again, despite the rough shooting schedule.

Kristen Bell has portrayed several pop culture icons over the course of her career—the plucky Anna in Disney's Frozen, sharp-tongued afterlife resident Eleanor Shellstrop on The Good Place—but her breakout role as Veronica Mars is, undoubtedly, the one she's got the most history with.

This July, Bell will star in Hulu's Veronica Mars revival nearly five years after a crowd-funded movie hit screens nationwide, and 15 years after the WB/CW series first premiered in 2004. For longtime fans, returning to the fictional town of Neptune, California to reconnect with Veronica, Keith (Enrico Colantoni), Logan (Jason Dohring), and Wallace (Percy Daggs III) will feel like coming home. A much darker, more "adult" version of home, that is, according to Bell.

"With the movie, we were hell-bent on giving the fans what they wanted," Bell tells OprahMag.com, who's currently promoting her partnership with the American Express Blue Cash Preferred card. "[Creator Rob Thomas] always says he wrote from the scene where Veronica gets to punch the most popular girl in school and worked backwards."

She continued, "But this show is not that. This show has much more adult characters, in a much more adult world—which I think is great, because Veronica’s audience has grown up. We’re not opposed to new teenagers watching the show, but the ones who did initially are all grown up now."

This grittier version won't be as new to those who've read the two official Veronica Mars novels, The Thousand-Dollar Tan Line and Mr. Kiss and Tell (both came after the show), in which Veronica's gone toe-to-toe with murderers and drug lords. Still, it's one thing to see it on the page, and another to see Veronica drop swear-words onscreen.

"I think what’s gonna be shocking for most people is seeing Veronica as an adult," Bell says. "I mean, you’re looking at a girl who’s incredibly jaded, carries a firearm, has a healthy sex life; that’s what you’re watching now. It’s not the old CW show."

Speaking of Ronnie's healthy sex life, Logan Echolls was totally right: Their epic love story spans years and continents! Logan and Veronica are still together five years after the events of the movie; as Mr. Kiss and Tell readers know, they've got a dog and everything. And as Mr. Kiss and Tell readers also know [spoiler alert!], the book leaves the door ajar for a possible love triangle between Veronica, Logan, and Leo (Max Greenfield), Veronica's rookie cop ex who's now a detective with the San Diego PD.

Rob Thomas has said that the books are "90 percent canon," which gives us reason to believe there may be Veronica-Logan-Leo drama in season four. So is Bell Team Logan or Team Leo? (Sorry, Piz.)

"Look: Prior to this series on Hulu, I was not 100 percent Team Logan," Bell admits. "Because if Veronica were my daughter or my best friend, I’d want her to be with someone who doesn’t have as many…issues that haven’t been worked through as Logan. But this is a different Logan.”

The new series starts off with a "really new, fresh, interesting dynamic" between them, she continues. "Logan’s gone to a lot of therapy and is a great communicator, and Veronica is sort of stagnant in their relationship."

It was a big decision for me to do it again, because of my actual life as mother of two daughters.

Bell's commitment to Veronica has endured throughout her rise to A-list status, "because she feels good in my bones, and because I learned how to deliver a one-liner on that show. I learned how to become more of a comedian." Hulu's revival was a tougher choice this time around, as the series' noir vibe required a lot of outside night shoots for nearly six months.

"I will say it was a big decision for me to do it again, because of my actual life as Kristen Bell, mother of two daughters," she says. "I would have to decide if I wanted to miss bedtime five nights a week for six months. But ultimately, the decision came down to, 'do I want a world where my girls grow up and Veronica Mars exists as a point of reference for them? And I do. I want that world.'"

Speaking on behalf of Marshmallows everywhere: So do we.