#splendid royal moth

[snototter]

The caterpillar of a splendid royal moth (Citheronia splendens) in Arizona, USA

by Robin Gwen Agarwal

[margaretoakgrove]

KARL HEISENBERG CONCEPT ART

��� Karl Heisenberg

↳ Heisenberg's main concept is based on Frankenstein. We wanted to create a cool gray-haired character who was a little rough around the edges. He smokes his favorite Cuban cigars.

↳ An early draft of Heisenberg's family. The biggest difference was that Heisenberg was going to be a twin and his mother was a subject for brain experiment.

● Mutated Heisenberg

↳ We went for a look that was the opposite of his human form, a giant mechanical monster. The design based on the idea that he uses scrap left scattered around the factory. He owns weapons from tanks and planes, and has mountains of scrap for his mass-produced experiments.

● Mutated Heisenberg in Detail

↳ The original design was based on the splendid royale moth caterpillar. We wanted him to look like he moved on treads and be faster than any other boss monster.

↳ Heisenberg's father was going to be the leader of the village, and the boss fight with the mechanical mutation was originally going to be with him.

↳ Concept art of a day in the life of Heisenberg. Night after night his modified henchmen dig up corpses from the graveyard to be used in his metal army.

● Soldat Eins

↳ We called these enemies "Drillman" for a long time during development because one arm was replaced with a drill. The idea for these enemies is they have a reactor inside their chests with the parasite inside that acts like an internal combustion engine. The goggles are units that Heisenberg uses to control them.

↳ Designs for various Soldat reactors, but the final design was a grotesque mechanical heart.

● Soldat Panzer

↳ We consciously created the enemies in the factory to be different so they didin't just terrify players but also created a strong sense of anticipation. The design was based on Western medieval armor and helmets.

● Soldat Jet

↳ We were really attached to the name "Jet Drill" during development. They use jets on their backs and their heads look like fighter planes. The design is similar to the horseshoe crab. We designed the front and back with different amounts of detail so the back would be particularly shocking.

● Sturm

↳ The propeller on his head is made from three chainsaw blades. He chopped his own arms off when they got in the way of the spinning blades. There was one plan to have the Sturm be Heisenberg's real father. And during development he was called "Propeller Man."

● Bridge Ruins

↳ Concept art for the bridge to Heisenberg's factory. It was initially going to be just to the side of the path leading to the Altar ruins.

● Sturm Attacks

↳ Sturm chasing Ethan down a narrow corridor, destroying everything in his way.

● Giant Cavern

↳ The concept art for Heisenberg kicking Ethan down into the hole and the giant cavern under the factory.

● Casting Machine

↳ A casting machine which uses molds to create objects made out of cast iron. This concept for a puzzle was around since early development as a way to create a key.

● Foundry

↳ This room was once only used for casting iron but Heisenberg ended up utilizing it for his experiments. This room links to the hidden engine room.

● Engine Room

↳ An engine room powered by giant pistons.

↳ Concept art for Heisenberg's factory where Ethan is chased by the Soldat series. If the reactors in their chests are destroyed then the parasite inside will attempt to escape.

● Grinder Shaft Fight

↳ A fight inside the grinder shaft. These were early designs for the Soldat Jet. We originally imagined a space where they could freely fly about.

● Heisenberg's Key

↳ We went with a design that had a powerful looking horse just like the one on Heisenberg's crest.

● Start of the Battle With Heisenberg

↳ Concept art for the flow of events leading up to the battle with Heisenberg. We pictured Ethan falling into the pit around dusk and returning from it to a dark stormy night sky. The general layout of events didin't change much from early development.

● Mutated Heisenberg-Fight 1

↳ Concept art for the boss fight with Heisenberg. Even early on in development this battle was going to commence with a self-propelled artillery. The only difference is that in the final version, Heisenberg is not defeated using falling transmission towers.

● Mutated Heisenberg-Fight 2

↳ We figured that Heisenberg's yard would be full of scrap and vehicles, which he uses during the fight.

↳ Boss fight with mutated Heisenberg where he turns into his final form.

[crowtrobotx]

Extremely sketchy Karl with some splendid royal moth wings because. Reasons.

[en8y]

[IMAGE ID: five rectangular flags with six evenly-sized stripes each. all of them have a moth icon in the top left. it is simplified and resembles their respective moths. the first flag's stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows: warm grey, cream, pastel orange, medium orange, dark orange, and red-orange. the second flag's stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows: dark maroon, red-orange, white, light grey, medium grey, and black. the third flag's stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows: dull pink, light pink, white, beige, dull orange, and dark brown. the fourth flag's stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows: black, dark grey, white, light orange, burnt orange, and dull red. the fifth flag's stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows: medium grey, warm grey, off-white, peach, light pink, and red-orange. END ID.]

regal moth: a presentation term for someone who presents in a bachianine way, or someone whose presentation can only be described as bachiangest.

clara satin (moth): a presentation term for someone who presents femininely and bachianinely, or someone whose presentation is feminine in a bachiangest way.

coquere hawkmoth: a presentation term for someone who presents masculinely and bachianinely, or someone whose presentation is masculine in a bachiangest way.

splendid royal (moth): a presentation term for someone who presents neutrally and bachianinely, or someone whose presentation is gender-neutral in a bachiangest way.

blood vein (moth): a presentation term for someone who presents as gender nonconforming and bachianine, or someone whose presentation is gender nonconforming in a bachiangest way.

@radiomogai @liom-archive @obscurian @presentationflag-archive

[pterouras]

Hehe, sorry, gonna try and have a boatload of posts soon. I’d like you to meet my newest moth though; this gorgeous splendid royal moth! Citheronia splendens! His hind wing is a little deformed but otherwise doesn’t seem terrible.

Many more photos and different bugs coming soon!

[the-spooky-arts]

Luna Moth, Splendid Royal Moth, Rosy Maple Moth

[praeteritus-memories]

"Ah, frankly, if it didn't cause such an annoyance, I would have personally squished that little moth a long time ago." Just the idea of that stupid insect daring to ask his beloved Xifeng to star in those vile and depraved 'films'. Honestly, all three of those V's get on Alastor's nerves, with the way they went completely against the worst views he believed in since he was still human. However, he must agree that Velvette had some semblance of decorum, since she's the only one who actually had meetings move somewhere instead of arguing and bitching.

"A splendid idea! Though I do ask you try to avoid having me model anything for her, I would rather die again than be caught in those hideous fashions." The radio demon shutters at the thought, especially the entire concept of a runway sounding ridiculous to him. Still, she would be the easiest to get the recordings from and she would likely stay tight lipped about Xifeng asking for them in the first place.

Alastor's smile softened to hear that his words did get through to her. Honestly, she was out cold that he thought he didn't hear her at all, but it warms his heart to know that it did. "Honestly, dearest, I was doing anything to keep you here with me. I do feel at least a tinge of relief you didn't see me in a more...undesirable state. Panic doesn't suit either of us, truly." To say panic was an understatement, it was the first time Alastor felt like he lost all control of everything since he died in the woods. Everything was slipping out of his grasp on that day, and since then he's managed to gain some control except for the metaphorical chain around his neck from his deal with Lilith.

Looking up at her from the chair, it warmed his heart to hear that she too would have offered her own soul to the very king of Hell for him. "I suppose, if you had, we'd be bound to the royal couple, wouldn't we? Ah, my darling, I don't feel complete without you by my side." The feeling was more than mutual, life partners. Ever since they met on that train platform in New Orleans, it's as if their very hearts were sewn together. To be without half of one's heart? A nightmare for the radio demon to picture in his mind.

A clawed hand, learning by now to be gentle in avoiding unintentional scrapes along her scalp, would rest atop her white hair as she wept and kissed at his scarred chest. "Thank you, my beloved." The only time, in his entire two lifetimes, that Alastor actually said words of gratitude to someone else.

"You know, dear, you're on to something there. Why deal with the headache that Vox inevitably will bring, and we already know that Valentino's likely going to hit on or proposition me to star in one of those disgusting films of his. So, Velvette's our safest and wisest choice from the Vees to get us a copy. I can always give her a discount for my advertising services or whatever in exchange. She always seems like the more rational out of the three of them anyway." At least, that's what Xifeng can tell from her brief interactions with the Fashion Overlord, but her time in Hell has certainly made her aware that she always needs to be one step ahead of other people as a precaution.

"All I can remember is that I kept on hearing your voice tell me to keep fighting no matter what. I was ready to chalk it up to just being unconscious, but I swear it was your voice and love that kept me tethered here until you got me the help I needed to save my life." Admittedly, a lot of that time is still hazy for her, even though she's managed to remember a great deal of what happened before she fell unconscious ever since she awoke.

It's then that her lips purse together in thought, and a light chuckle passes her lips along with a wry smile that doesn't quite make its' way to her eyes. "Remember about us not keeping secrets from others? Well... you know, if Adam managed to kill you like we all feared, I was prepared to offer anything that I could to Lucifer to bring you back—even my own soul. I can't imagine life without you anymore, my beloved."

The entire time she confesses this, she's still focusing on healing him with the warmth that her flames bring across his chest. That, and her gaze hasn't wandered from his own as her scarlet irises are filled with devotion, and more importantly, the undying love that she only felt for him. And because of that very same love that she has for him, she leans forward to start placing soft, feathery kisses along the scar on his chest where the scar now resides. That, and to help expedite the healing process that much more, it's clear that her tears are now falling within the wound to help bring him further relief.

At least these tears aren't out of sadness, but more so her just being grateful that he's alive.

[mothmonarch]

🔺 RESOLUTION 🔻

A red mage moth delivers their finisher! Personal illo.

Patrons $1+ will get a look at how I made this, including recreating the magic of Red Mage's 90 finisher Resolution from FFXIV, in the upcoming monthly review! patreon.mothmonar.ch ⚔

[mothmyspace]

citheronia splendens

splendid royal moth

location: mexico & arizona

[pixie1013]

May I introduce the beautiful and lovely Splendid Royal Moth, Citheronia Splenden (Swipe for video.) These have been the most wonderful caterpillars to raise. Only this one moth emerged so far. This must have been the caterpillar that tunneled a week or so before the others because sadly, he lived and passed before the others have even emerged. 😔 I hope they others wake up safely and I am able to get a breeding pair at the least! 🤞🏼 Thank you @gwentomologist for these lovely eggs last year! #citheroniasplendens #citheronia #splendid #royalmoth #royal #moth #hornedhickorydevil #azteca #regalis #Lepidoptera #saturniinae #silkmoth #entomology #hobby #caterpillar #princessagatha #buggirl #mothgirl #mothsofinstagram #butterflies #animals #insectphotography #bugkeeping #insecthobby #ilovebugs #wings #beautifulnature #beauty #spiritanimal #royalbeauty (at Pixieland Farm) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRddLuUHGD_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[crowtrobotx]

Once again looking at Heisenberg’s boss form and thinking about the fact that it’s based on the splendid royal moth caterpillar and how it’s frustrating bc they gave this man way too many animal motifs and like many folks I’m irked that he wasn’t some kind of horse/centaur machine but also I am a whore for that transformation/bug symbolism and for extremely self indulgent reasons I cannot bring myself to entirely dislike it. I think if they’d leaned harder into the explicit caterpillar and/or moth imagery instead of leaving it so vague, I’d personally be 100% on board.

Listen. Why not go all the way? Think of the possibilities. What if he transformed and was just.

You ever get so mad you just turn into a tiny little fuzzy guy.

[perhaps-relax]

okay so, the splendid royal moth catepillar note???

Not the endgame of Heisenberg's transhumanist ideal form being modeled on a friggin caterpillar! Like he metamorphosed backwards!!! dumb bitch!

[rubicunda]

I wanna get another 🦋 mothy boi tattooed; gimme a delicious one •°¤-_

sure! I would recommend a painted tiger moth,

a splendid royal moth or

a Chalcosia thaivana owadai!

[riverc1an]

okay so a mothwing design that looks like a royal splendid moth

[philliamwrites]

La Belle Dame Sans Merci

Fandom: The Case Study of Vanitas (Mochizuki Jun)

Pairing: Noé/Vanitas

Tags: #vanitas pines for noé, #implied/referenced past rape/non-con, #implied/referenced past childe abuse, #blood and unjury, #angst and feels, #forehead kisses

Words: 3.7k

Summary: Vanitas can’t sleep so he does the only other thing he’s good at besides curing vampires from the curse: harass Noé. It escalates royally and doesn’t end good. No one is surprised.

La Belle Dame Sans Merci

   Moonlight casts slim, silver lines on Noé’s face.

  Sitting on the windowsill, Vanitas can see the slow and steady rise of Noé’s chest, a constant rhythm speaking of life. How he has survived until today is still a wonder to Vanitas. Only a few feet separate him from the sleeping, defenceless body—a body he knows all too well capable of pulling tense like a bowstring when ready to strike; an animal equipped with lethal tools to hunt and destroy. But Noé is a paradox of black and white, a pacifist at heart that opens up too easily, too quick. Why else would he be interested in someone like Vanitas?

    Their conversation at the top of the bell tower is still ringing all too clear in his head, a memory he’d rather strip from his mind and drop in the deepest part of a vicious, dark sea. Noé is dangerous, because unbeknown to himself, he has worked a strange magic on Vanitas, pulling at invisible chains curling around his neck however Noé pleases. If Vanitas didn’t know better, he’d call it Fate, but she has abandoned him long ago to suddenly return like a sullen lover and beg him for companionship.

    “Louis,” Noé murmurs, drawing back Vanitas’s attention, and no, he isn’t jealous, not in the slightest. He just wants to reach inside Noé’s mouth and rip that name out of him. He hates that even though Noé is easy to read like an open book, it turns out its pages are filled with enigmas Vanitas is unable to solve.

    A little huff escapes him as he slides down the windowsill, his feet landing eerily quiet on the floor. Watching Noé snore undisturbed, he’s quite sure he’s met what must be the worst vampire of his kind. What else explains his utter lack of awareness of danger? Vanitas imagines slipping right next to him and sliding a dagger across his throat or put the barrel right above his heart, pulling the trigger.

    He’s so easy, Vanitas thinks, barely holding back a scoff. In so many ways.

    Noé shifts, and Vanitas stops, only noticing then he’s already crossed the room and has almost reached Noé’s bedside. And that’s another thing he can’t stand about Noé: He makes Vanitas do things impulsively, barely spending another thought if what he’s about to do is beneficial or utterly disastrous—no matter that, in most cases he is already moving, already talking, and it’s so aggravating that 80 percent of what he’s saying in a sentence starts or ends with Noé’s name on his lips. Like a blessing, like a prayer. Vanitas doesn’t pray, not anymore. He’s stopped long ago, and no God, Saint or Martyr’s promise of benediction would be enough for a reward to make him resume.

    So they punish him, and surely Noé is just another part of what they hold in store for him. Another explanation isn’t possible, because why of all nights in which he has visited Noé, this time he wakes up, his warning only a little hum before Vanitas is met with a sleepy face and white hair adorably ruffled.

    No, not adorable, he tells himself. Terrible. Annoying.

    “Vanitas?” Noé’s voice is rough on the edges and thick with sleep. “You can’t sleep?”

    Vanitas feels challenged to say, “No, watching people sleep is one of my many exotic hobbies!” but he’s tired and sort of really desperate for some form of rest, so defeated, he admits, “No, I can’t.”

    Noé considers him with more regard, and Vanitas wonders what he thinks, watching him stand in his room, barefoot and with deep shadows under his eyes. Just the previous day, he'd commented that Vanitas wasn’t looking well at all, and he'd asked if they should rest for a while. Vanitas had pressed on even harder, refusing Noé another good look at his battered form.

    The silence stretches before them like a lazy beast, unmoving but still ready to pounce any second. Eventually, Noé offers with a carefully even voice, “Do you want to know what always helped me falling asleep when I was a child?”

    Vanitas scoffs. “No, I really don’t.”

    “Good,” Noé says, either not noticing or ignoring Vanitas rolling his eyes. “Whenever I couldn’t fall asleep, I’d go to Domi’s room and climb into her bed. Knowing someone was beside me helped, and I can sleep much better with someone warm next to me.”

    “My, do I look like a ten year old boy, barely able to fend for myself that I need to share my bed with someone?” Vanitas cocks his head to the side, squinting at Noé from under his black lashes. “And who would want to lie next to a rough sleeper like you, ending up as a body pillow for your serving!”

    Noé arches a slim, white eyebrow and lifts his blanket. Vanitas stares at him for a moment, then moves towards him like a moth to the flame and crawls under the sheets, settling right next to the other boy. “What a splendid idea!” no one says, because it isn’t.

    Noé is a furnace beside him. Whatever space Vanitas tries to bring between them, he immediately bridges, pressing his arm against Vanitas’s.

    “Dominique is going to kill me if she hears about this,” he murmurs into the darkness, ignoring how Noé’s calf feels against his bare ankle. “If you so much as mention it to her, I will haunt you down and slay you.”

    Noé hums as he turns around to face him, snuggling into the blanket. Vanitas tries to lie as still as possible. He imagines he is a rock at the bottom of a vast sea where he’s been for hundreds of years and will remain for another hundreds of years. It works until he feels Noé’s warm breath ghost over his cheek and in his imagination, Vanitas sees the rock carried away with the water current.

    “She won’t bother,” Noé says. “Like I said, we used to do that all the time as kids. Me, Domi and—” The sudden silence feels like the air sucked out of the room so no sound can travel. Vanitas can feel his shoulders tense, his breath caught somewhere on the way from his lungs to his mouth.

    Don’t say Louis, don’t say Louis, he thinks.

    “And Louis,” Noé finishes quietly, another breath on Vanitas’s skin.

    “Then we must be talking about a different Dominique,” Vanitas says, not indulging at all in the boy that’s written in blood on Noé’s tongue and hands. “But then again, you are her favourite thing, and she would do anything for you. Do me one favour, would you? Don’t invite me to your wedding.”

    Noé makes a strange, curious sound, and draws his knees up to his chest. Vanitas tries to accommodate by moving further towards the edge but half of his body is already hanging off, barely covered by the blanket. He shivers and turns to his side, now facing Noé and notices too late what a terrible idea that is with only a few inches separating their faces. His eyes shift from Noé’s ears to his cheekbones and focus on where his lashes throw dark shadows on his skin.

    “Wedding?” Noé blinks up at him. “Me and Domi? What makes you think that we would marry?”

    “What makes you think you won’t?”

    “Dominique is like a sister to me.” Noé hums another little, low note, leaning his head forward. Vanitas leans back. “No, she is the sister I always wished for. I love her as family.”

    “Why, go and break her heart like that.” Vanitas sighs, faking a concerned huff. Either the soft fabric just under the tip of his fingers is his own coat or Noé’s pyjama, and he doesn’t dare moving to find out. “Or maybe you’re actually naive enough to believe she feels the same way.”

    “Why wouldn’t she?” He can practically hear the other boy frowning. “I’m certain she too loves me as a brother. And should she ever decide to marry, I’ll surely be sad, but it doesn’t matter as long as she’s happy. I just know she’ll be a beautiful bride.”

    Vanitas rolls his eyes, unable to believe such gullibility and there’s nothing he wants to do more than claw his way into Noé’s heart and see what makes him tick like that, what mechanics work to produce such a strange specimen like him. But before he can give back a snark remark, Noé suddenly asks, “What about you?”

    “Oh, I would make a lovely bride, thank you for asking.”

    “No, I mean marriage,” Noé says after a poorly restrained chuckle. “Are you considering to marry Jeanne?”

    Vanitas’s mouth forms a little ‘o’ before he barks out a laugh. “What in Heaven’s sake makes you think that?” he says, pressing one hand against his forehead because surely whatever Noé comes up with now will give him the headache that’s asserted itself within him since their first encounter.

    Noé is quiet for a moment, then whispers, “Because you love her.”

    Vanitas stops laughing. The headache doesn’t come, it’s dulled by the strange tone in Noé’s voice, one he fails to identify. It’s like grabbing mist, the whitish mystery clearly visible but slipping through his fingers.

    “That is a very strong assumption,” he starts slowly, hearing the edge in his own voice. “But tell me, Noé, do you see me as someone who is capable of loving?” Noé’s breath hitches, his answer clear to Vanitas before even spoken, so quickly, and with a voice dark and hard, like late-winter ice, he adds, “A vampire of all things?”

    Noé’s breath hitches again, this time sounding like a knife stabbed into his side. It does something funny to Vanitas, makes his heart jump a little out of tact, and he feels a smile slowly forming his lips into a crooked line. His hand sneaks up from under the blanket and reaches to grab a white lock, playing a contrast of black and white between his gloved fingers.

    “I don’t love, Noé,” he whispers, pushing his cheek into the pillow that smells of Noé. “Not you, not Jeanne. Not humans, and certainly not vampires. I only consume those of value to my cause.” Like you. Like Jeanne and that boy she holds so dear.

    Noé seems to understand, but he doesn’t pull away from Vanitas’s touch, which speaks volumes of whatever this connection between them is. No, he slightly turns his head, nuzzling into Vanitas’s hand, and with a shudder Vanitas realises how vulnerable the inside of his wrist is just inches away from Noé’s mouth and those hidden teeth that can easily rip apart his skin.

    In this short moment he begs to whatever deities currently punishing him that he would bite him. Because then everything would easily fall into place, and he could kill Noé without second thought; without remorse.

    Silver lines return to Noé’s face, and Vanitas blinks up at the window, at the narrow slit showing the moon emerging behind thick clouds, making Noé look like a piece torn out of the night sky: silver and black.

    “Ah, but it seems there is someone else who adores you,” he says, his voice rising to a playful, ironic tint. He nods his chin towards the moon, and Noé turns around and away from Vanitas’s hand, blinking into the soft light. Just for a split second, his fingers twitch—toward Noé’s throat, his cheek, his lips?—but he already pulls it back under the blanket, still feeling exactly where Noé has touched him even through the thick fabric of his glove.

    “La lune?” Noé turns back to Vanitas, brows drawn together.

    “Yes, the very one. But I don’t recommend giving into it. You can only go so far on a roof after all before you reach the end.”

    “What are you talking about?”

    “You don’t know the story? About the man falling in love with the moon. He climbed up to a roof to reach her, but well. I think you can imagine the end of that.”

    “It sounds like the moon is a harsh mistress,” Noé says slowly, surprising Vanitas in joining his antics, even following his train of thought. “La belle dame sans merci,” he whispers. “Then you two aren’t so different.”

    Vanitas raises an eyebrow. “Beg your pardon?”

    “Just as distant,” he says, shifting away from Vanitas for the first time. Good, Vanitas should think. Stay away from me. But instead he goes rigid and demands, Don’t go. “Just as out of reach.”

    “Thank you, I try to keep things interesting,” Vanitas says, his voice hollow.

    Noé surprises him (there it is again, being surprised when Vanitas has sworn that he’ll never underestimate another person ever again) by giving a soft chuckle. “But that makes me want to get closer to you even more, Vanitas.”

    His mouth goes dry. His brain tries to follow up with whatever might rebuilt the wall between them, brick by brick, but instead his mind betrays him and takes over his mouth, babbling, “Did you know Alain Chartier wrote the poem about the merciless belle dame? It’s a little tacky to my taste, but then again, I wouldn’t beg anyone for their adoration. It’s a silly concept, the dialogue between the Lover and the Lady, I mean why would anyone ride out to enjoy a party, only to languish at the feet of—”

    Noé groans. He stops the onslaught of words by slapping a hand on Vanitas’s mouth. The sudden silence stretches into uncomfortable territory until Vanitas can’t bear it anymore. He stares at Noé out from the corner of his eyes, and parts his lips to drag his tongue over Noé’s fingers. Noé flinches, and looks back at him with wide eyes. What usually did the trick to gross people out (Dante for example was fairly familiar with this concept and never failed to meet Vanitas’s expectations to draw away quickly) doesn’t work on Noé. He remains transfixed on Vanitas’s face as if all secrets of the universe display on his features, and Vanitas starts to questions his action. Suddenly, Noé shifts. He props himself on one elbow and leans over him, casting a long shadow over his upper body.

    Just then, Vanitas realises what a dangerous situation he’s in. Up until this moment, he thought Noé to be shy, but that isn’t right at all. Noé is quiet resolve, and steadfast loyalty, he is the very silence ready to pounce and turn peace into havoc. It’s evident in how he watches Vanitas behind half closed eyes, those ruby mirrors considering him with an unreadable expression. His heart picks up, and before he can ascertain if this is a game he can win, he answers with sultry eyes himself, and mouths “Kiss me” against Noé’s skin.

    It’s just out of curiosity, he tells himself. He wants to rile Noé up a little, see how far he can go and where he draws the line. Maybe Noé won’t do a thing and play the blushing maiden Vanitas imagines him to be. They both know it’s a dare Noé will lose because he respects Vanitas’s boundaries too much, and that little victory satisfies him already enough to smile into Noé’s hand triumphantly.

    Noé considers him with a blank expression before his eyes slowly drift to his hand where it’s still secured over Vanitas’s mouth. Something changes in his eyes, they grow soft, and Vanitas immediately regrets what he’s done because he can’t bear the warmth in them, the unspoken promise of whatever Noé is willing to give him. He thinks about squirming out of the boy's touch, but he’s started moving his hand already, settling on Vanitas’s eyes. His heart stops. Rotten memories claw at the edge of his mind, hungry hyenas demanding blood and misery that this kind of darkness brings. Before he can lash out and push Noé away, soft moon light illuminates the darkness behind his closed eyes again, and he takes a deep, shaky breath, only now noticing that he’s stopped breathing. His eyes snap open, locking with Noé’s as he brushes black bangs out of Vanitas’s face. The moon shines a halo around Noé when he leans down and kisses his forehead.

    It’s perfect.

    Vanitas hates it.

    He doesn’t move.

    Noé’s lips are surprisingly soft. So is his smell, a faint fragrance of sandalwood with the sharp tint of clove and something coppery hidden under the layers, and there’s nothing better to describe it than home. The realisation cuts him in a sharp, painful flash, one that robs him of the air he’s only just now regained. Noé is careful that no other part of their bodies is touching, and it’s the last act of kindness that pushes something in him into a bottomless, black hole.

    His fingers splay on Noé’s chest as he pushes him away, staring up into a slightly flushed face. The blushing maiden. Despite everything, it makes Vanitas smile.

    “You live dangerous, my friend,” he murmurs, playing with a shirt button close to Noé’s collarbones. “But I will condone it this once. It seems I forgot one gets burned when playing with fire.”

    Noé leans back, one hand beside Vanitas’s head carrying his weight, contemplating. Vanitas already knows whatever he’s going to say, it won’t be good.

    “I never thought of you as someone who would yield to anything,” Noé says eventually. “Not even fire.” And quieter, he adds, “Ignis aurom probat.” Fire tests gold.

    A shudder ripples through Vanitas’s body, stealing his control and causing him to laugh involuntarily because he doesn’t see himself as pure as gold, and Noé is so much more than a simple fire. Noé is a searing blaze, devastating cities and forests and leaving ashes of their self, allowing them to rebuild and regrow and turn away from an unwanted past. Vanitas would gladly sell his soul for such an opportunity, but he’s shackled by the shadow of a little boy half his height with a sweet voice and eyes the fairest blue even the sky envies.

    “You’re quite the charmer, but you do know what they say about gold, don’t you?”

    Noé hesitates, shifting a little, and even Vanitas with the little imagination that he has, can quite clearly picture how the muscles must shift beneath Noé’s dark skin on his back. He closes his eyes and breathes through his mouth. “Gold gives to the ugliest thing a certain charming air, For that without it were else a miserable affair.”

    Noé pales. “I didn’t mean—”

    “Shhh.” Vanitas smiles a smile Lucifer must have worn just seconds before God banished him from Heaven. His eyes don’t leave Noé for a second when he lifts a finger and presses it against Noé’s lips.

    “I know, you didn’t mean to.” He rolls his eyes, voice in a mocking tone imitating what Noé was going to say because he’s easily predictable. “And you would never hurt me. But that makes us different. Because I will gladly hurt you if you let me.” He follows the soft curve of Noé’s lower lip with the tip of his finger until he reaches the corner of his mouth. There he curls his finger inside and pulls one side into a crooked smile. A sharp tooth grazes his skin, not quiet enough to break it, but a shiver travels down his back nonetheless.

    Noé pulls Vanitas’s hand away from his face, looking down at him like he’s a strange animal he’s never seen before. A dull sadness settles over his eyes, but it’s too quick for Vanitas to really acknowledge.

    “Not gold then,” Noé concludes with resolution in his voice. “But quicksilver.” And with that, he places Vanitas’s hand carefully back on his chest, and retreats to his side of the bed, laying down so Vanitas is faced with his broad back, his body completely turned towards the moon.

    Vanitas blinks, stretching out one hand to follow the curve of Noé’s spine in the air with a finger, imagining what it would feel like to curl against this strong body and hold onto something what won’t break under his touch. He stays like that until he hears calm, deep breathing. Only then he lifts that same finger that’s been inside Noé’s mouth to his lips and sucks slowly until his mind talks him into believing it’s actually Noé he tastes.

    I don’t love, he repeats over and over in his head until his eyes fall close and he drifts into a dreamless sleep.

    The next morning starts just like Vanitas has always feared a morning sleeping beside another body would go. Waking up slowly to a woman’s voice in the far distance, he’s still walking on this slim line between sleeping and waking, a coma really, when his conscience registers a heavy arm around his waist and warm breath in his neck. His body locks up into one painful, tense muscle; all desperate instinct and frightened awareness because No, I don’t want Doctor to touch me, and he starts frantically scrabbling for the dagger below his pillow only to find nothing. Vanitas feels punched back to when he’s eleven and caged under Moreau’s heavy, naked body, a choked whimper like a wounded animal leaving his mouth. The arm moves, allowing the tiniest leeway. Vanitas doesn’t think. He swings his arm as hard as he can and hears the satisfying crack of a bone breaking. The man beside him gives a surprised shout, and Vanitas jumps to his feet, ready to break more than bones as the door crashes open at the same time, a woman storming inside.

    “Noé?” Dominique cries, taking in how he's bent forward on the bed, holding his face. It doesn’t stop the blood dripping all over the white sheets, and Vanitas grows cold when her sharp eyes land on him, a furious hate boiling inside them. “What have you done, human?” she hisses, reaching Noé’s hunched form within few steps.

    Vanitas is lost for words, a quite frequent reaction whenever he’s in Noé’s proximity. But it isn’t like anything he’ll say can excuse or save him from Dominique’s wrath, so he just stands there, dumbfounded, and watches her valuate the graveness of Noé’s broken nose, wondering if the man who’s fallen off the roof in the pursuit of his love lost as much blood as Noé right now and if that was worthwhile, or if he’d have rather poisoned himself with quicksilver.

    Not that it matters.

    Both end in a painful, slow death.

I saw pale kings and princes too, Pale warriors, death-pale were they all; They cried—‘La Belle Dame sans Merci Thee hath in thrall!’

[John Keats]

[dansnaturepictures]

15\09/21-Part 1 of 2: Richmond Park

Since 10th October 2010 when after seeing Red Deer’s on that week’s episode of Autumnwatch based at Richmond Park and we wanted to see these mammals ourselves so came to this Royal Park, we have come to Richmond Park every year. And since 2014 have come to fairly nearby Bushy Park on the annual day trip in and around the time of the Red Deer rutting (mating) season. Last year however we just did the Bushy Park part of the trip in an afternoon rather than the usual day trip to them both at the height of the pandemic really in pre-vaccine days and knowing obviously being close to London there are more people about here so we felt a briefer visit to one would be safer and more sensible all round. We came on 10th October last autumn so effectively Covid (quite rightly as the safety comes first) prevented us from coming to Richmond a whole decade to the day since we first went. But today we returned to both Richmond Park and Bushy Park as we usually do coming to Richmond first and got to celebrate coming here again eleven years on that time has really flown by and I love coming here. My next post is about Bushy Park today. Getting into the car with excitement building for the anticipated trip on a sunny morning at home with the tree visible from my room looking great and I loved seeing as well as Collared Doves on the roof nicely against a blue sky a Red Kite soaring over the town not one I’d seen locally for a while. The kitchen and house was full of crane flies interestingly last night with a Box Tree moth in the kitchen too.

At Richmond Park when we arrived walking down towards Pen Ponds where we usually base ourselves here in quite sunny conditions that greeted us for much of the day, I took the first three pictures in this photoset on this walk, I realised with us coming a little bit earlier this year (we did come in September in 2017 and still saw deers so with us having this week off for day trips in the end where we might have gone away if things had been different it felt like a good opportunity to squeeze this annual trip in earlier) we rather got to see this beautiful place quite summery still with very green leaves all over rather than being in autumnal multi colour as they so often are when we do this trip and seeing many mushrooms. The main hint of the time of year were chestnut trees carrying nuts which was interesting.

We got some great views of Small Heath butterflies on the walk around the ponds and there was a wealth of tormentil especially in terms of flowers which looked great a star flower for me this week off particularly around the ponds and also lots of hawksbeard or catsear which was great to see and ragwort. On the ponds masses of Egyptian Geese a star bird here which we got brilliant views of all day as shown in the fifth picture in this photoset here, neat looking female or eclipsed Shovelers and two of my favourite birds the bright red headed male and charming brown female Pochards as shown by the seventh picture I took today in this photoset and some Great Crested Grebes made great sights. I also liked seeing a Cormorant on a water gage type of equipment in one of the ponds which we got really nice views of another star bird of the place. I also took the fourth picture in this photoset of Black-headed Gulls lined up nicely on some rails by the water. I got the sixth and eighth pictures in this photoset of Pen Ponds.

Dragonflies adorned the marshy areas beside the ponds with nice views of Migrant Hawker which I am having a great year for and seeing a lot lately, as well as a Common Blue Damselfly. Then came a glorious moment in our day when we spotted a splendid female Black Darter on the verge of a pond. An excellent species to see which came into our life at Thursley Common in 2018 and 2019 but the fire that impacted the board walk rather prevented us seeing one last year there. But in 2019 when last at Richmond Park we also saw one here in early October that year so I had just thought could we see one today and I was thrilled to. One I was so pleased to see and it’s good to know we can rely on here for them a bit maybe. At that stage I thought it was probably only Emerald Damselfly another we first saw at Thursley which kept me from getting my dragonfly and damselfly year list close to my highest ever total in 2019, when home I realised there was one other Red-veined Darter which I saw in 2019 and not this year. More on that in my next post about our time at Bushy Park today though.

Walking on and we got the always visit defining moment of a smashing and intimate moment seeing a striking emerald wonder of a noisy Ring-necked Parakeet sat in a tree. It was a treasure to spend some special moments watching this bird and taking photos as I did on the way back to the car too. Even though I am seeing these more and more at home now, it was still fantastic to see these eccentric birds wheeling through the London sky today a true highlight of today. Walking on also we got an exciting glimpse of a little Fallow Deer which did look adorable and saw a flash of green again this time a Green Woodpecker flying through another of my favourite birds that this spot is so strong for.

Then just past the Pen Ponds car park and we had the moment we had hoped for. Sat underneath trees after seeing one on the way in driving through the park were a group of eleven Red Deers, what always drives us to come here. We enjoyed a sensational few moments being so honoured to be in the company of these majestic and gigantic beings. It was such a privilege to be able take in sights of them and try for pictures, as the group with varied sized antlers largely rested ahead of the peak of the rut to come standing up occasionally. Their antlers did look in fine condition. One of the main stags with big antler’s ears flapped gently in the wind was lovely to see. As we so often see some Jackdaws hopped onto the backs of the deers to clear anything undesired on their fur. A perfect few minutes of enjoying nature and I got the final two pictures in this photoset of these Red Deers. 

After an ice cream from the car park kiosk on the way we enjoyed a cup of tea when back at where we parked and some wafers that we have every year since we first came. I liked seeing a Speckled Wood here well, an interesting little caterpillar and lots more Ring-necked Parakeets flying overhead. On the subject of parrots we were then surprised to see the exotic blue and yellow of a macaw gliding through the park! My Mum then spoke to the lovely lady with it and it was chico_the macaw on Instagram and it was just such a lovely and really feel good sight to see I am so glad we saw them today and was really nice to learn about them, what a lovely moment it was today. My next post has the story of our time at Bushy Park today.

Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first Black Darter of the year, three of my favourite birds the Pochard, Great Crested Grebe and Green Woodpecker, two of my favourite mammals the Red Deer and Fallow Deer, Mallard, Shoveler, Tufted Duck, Coot, Moorhen, Cormorant, Egyptian Goose, Greylag Goose, Black-headed Gull, some great views of Jackdaws landed on different things, Carrion Crow, Magpie, Woodpigeon, Long-tailed Tit, House Sparrow, Ring-necked Parakeet, Small Heath, Meadow Brown, Speckled Wood, possible hairstreak gliding along the tree line, Grey Squirrel, Migrant Hawker and Common Blue Damselfly.