#spit your shit indeed !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[skamlox]

[deathbirby]

These people are so funny. Anyway since I’m on a Dimitri vs Edelgard kick it’s really funny to me how their endings compare like. Dimitri’s are all “he spent the rest of his life helping orphans and kissing puppies and empowering the people to participate in government” and El’s are like “she made unilateral decisions and killed everyone who disagreed with her before fucking off and putting someone who would do the same in charge” like I dunno how people are confused on how we see her as the more villainous one there. Also of note is that El’s endings seem very hand-wavy on what exactly she did to “reform” the system while Dimitri’s are very explicit (improving foreign relations, improving social welfare, instating a system of democracy). One could argue it’s because Edelgard talked about her reforms earlier in the game so they didn’t feel the need to retread but I dunno it rubs me the wrong way. Much like other things El does in pursuit of her goals.

This was inspired by a particular line by one of the Edel stans- that Edelgard’s policies were “popular with the people”. None of her endings mention this and neither does the ending crawl. Meanwhile Dimitri’s endings and ending crawl specifically point out that he and his policies were widely beloved. Does that not strike anyone as strange? It’s like the opinions of the people don’t matter in her route, which, kind of matches with everything else about her character to be clear. Just lots of food for thought I guess.

Stans are so funny because Edelgard doesn't give a shit about the commoner. She starts a war which will negatively affect EVERY commoner in Fodlan.

She doesn't care about other people's opinions because only SHE knows what's best for Fodlan.

[konfusion-altf4]

This.

This.

Even if Dead plate wasn’t queerbaiting, it was DEFINITELY shipbaiting. The dialogue option about whether Rody is jealous of Vince’s possible gf, the hair drying scene, the way he stops correcting Rody about not calling him Vince… u guys r tumblr girlies, you knew damn well what you were doing LMAO. There’s nothing wrong w that lol - it makes for a fun dynamic - but don’t claim that queerbaiting never came into it pffft

My co-developer and composer who worked on the game are both men, calling us "tumblr girlies" is a bit condescending and disrespectful.

To queerbait or shipbait, it means we were taking advantage of possible queer characters and relationships as a means to appeal to queer audiences while maintaining ambiguity about the characters' sexualities. We don't believe the game was baiting anyone since again not only the sexualities of the characters aren't ambiguous as it was fully stated they were written as queer the moment they were designed way before the game was even developed, we've expressed multiple times that while the game does have themes of queerness and cannibalism the main plot and intention behind the source game was always intended to heavily focus on exploring the horror that comes from toxic and unhealthy obsessions and mindsets and how far one is willing to go for them (Rody's self-sacrificial and desperate love for Manon, Vince's selfish obsession for perfection, Rody and taste, etc). The game is about a waiter seeking out and realizing what happened to his ex-girlfriend, that's always been the main plot, Dead Plate is a game in the thriller/horror genre and there was not a single mention of the game having any possible romance in it nor the queer identities and interactions of the characters were used to promote the game in any of the official game pages or promotional material to draw in more audiences, so hearing that you're watering the game down just as some kind of shallow bait is a bit disheartening.

Sometimes characters just happen to be queer, and not all media with queer characters are strictly about romance. Their relationship is still up for audience interpretation and people can take them as whatever they like if they want to enjoy them like that as long as they aren't hurting anyone but we never meant to intentionally bait anyone into trying out the game using their queerness, and that as queer writers ourselves we've expressed time and time again how we wished people to check out the game for the overall narrative and message it has rather than for people to only focus and view the game as shipping material since we believe the game offers a lot more than that.

[girlnluv]

this pinterest comment is real as fck

[beperoncin]

ababwbbabwbww a awbbwwbabbwbababww wbbbbbbbbwbwbabwbabwa wabwbabebabebabeba

very true tumblr user with the url of jjcocker

[melvinborgswife729]

can’t stop thinking about this art I made in 5th grade

[the-birds-they-are-here]

If you are teaching a class of male students that would go apeshit on a young girl showing shoulder, then you failed at teaching.

If you are teaching a class and go apeshit on a young girl because she wore her favourite outfit, you shouldn’t be a teacher.

Dress Codes Are Just Sexism Disguised as "Professionalism"

My little sister got sent home from class yesterday for wearing a tank top. In 80-degree weather. Meanwhile, the guy next to her was literally shirtless because "it's too hot" and nobody said a word.

I'm so tired of this.

Let's talk about all the things that are apparently "distracting":

Shoulders (because collar bones are SO scandalous)

Knees (the horror!)

Bra straps (despite the fact that, you know, we need bras)

Leggings (because comfort is forbidden)

Midriffs (society will collapse if anyone sees a belly button)

Any kind of fitted clothing (because apparently we should all wear potato sacks)

Last semester, my little sister watched a girl get dress-coded for wearing shorts while guys in the same class were wearing basketball shorts that were literally shorter than hers. Make it make sense.

The excuses we keep hearing: "It's distracting to male students" "It's inappropriate for a learning environment" "We need to maintain professionalism" "We're preparing you for the real world" "Boys will be boys"

EXCUSE ME? Maybe instead of policing our clothes, we should be teaching people not to sexualize literal students??? Just a thought.

The mental checklist before getting dressed:

Finger-length test for shorts

Two-finger width for straps

Bend over in front of mirror test

Raise your arms check

No visible bra straps

Nothing "too tight"

Nothing "too loose"

Nothing "too anything"

Meanwhile, what guys have to think about:

Literally nothing

That's it

That's the list

There was a time when I was in high school when my friend had to call her mom to bring her a new shirt because her shoulder was showing? SHOULDER. Like it was going to cause mass chaos in the hallway. Because apparently boys can't control themselves at the sight of a SHOULDER.

Real conversations I've had with teachers: "Your shirt is too low cut" (it wasn't) "Those pants are too tight" (they were regular jeans) "You need to cover up" (I was wearing a normal t-shirt) "That's not appropriate" (it was a knee-length dress) "You're distracting others" (by existing???)

Let's talk about the double standards:

Guys can wear muscle tanks

Girls can't show shoulders

Guys can go shirtless at sports

Girls get coded for sports bras

Guys wear short shorts

Girls need finger-length test

Guys wear fitted clothes

Girls get called "distracting"

The actual impact:

Missing class time

Academic disruption

Body image issues

Shame about our bodies

Constant anxiety

Feeling sexualized

Lost confidence

Wasted money on "appropriate" clothes

And don't even get me started on:

Having to buy different clothes for school

Spending extra money on "appropriate" options

Getting sent home for minor "violations"

Missing important lessons

Being humiliated in front of class

Getting labeled as "problematic"

Being treated like WE'RE the problem

To every girl who has:

Been dress coded

Felt humiliated

Had to change

Missed class

Been called distracting

Felt ashamed

Had to call home

Been singled out

You did NOTHING wrong. Your body is not a distraction. Your education matters more than someone else's inability to focus. Your comfort matters. Your right to exist in your body matters.

Because here's the truth:

Dress codes are sexist

Bodies aren't distracting

Shoulders aren't sexual

Knees aren't provocative

Comfort isn't inappropriate

Existing isn't wrong

THEY are the problem, not us

[sayitwityachest]

Just wanted to say congratulations on being bisexual.

bro tHANK YOU

teehee'ing so hard like what a nice little message to see on this saturday afternoon after work with my measuring cup of hot chocci- thank you very much!

[spunky-spunkster]

You'll never know bc I'm shy and saw that and started crying /pos 👹

It’s okay anon we can cry 2gether :’]]

[deathbirby]

I think this fandom needs to educate itself on Eastern tropes and Buddhism. They also need to stop looking at everything through a Western World lens. Byleth’s arc is the path of enlightenment hence being called enlightened one, losing their divinity is a bad thing considered worse than death. I don’t understand why symbolism is completely blocked out to see things their twisted way to be right which ironically is exactly what Edelgard does. It’s a church in name, Rhea has a religious design that’s it the rest is concrete Buddhism and Byleth making the right choices to reach nirvana (merging with Sothis) only losing it in one route which if you know Buddhist themes is bad news. In an American centric lens it’s being human again and that’s so not what the text is telling you. I’m anti Catholic, I thought the church was evil and then the game was like ahaha red herring it’s not your student however- anyway you’re amazing for dealing with all these people publicly I can never come off anon but know I support you. Rhea is a wonderful character who deserved so much better both from the game and especially the fandom. But the writers just had to fall in love with Edelgard and make CF exist due to it

YES. YES ANON YES. @fantasyinvader has tons of takes that involve Buddhism and it's an entirely different point of view compared to the regular takes you see in the western fandom.

Also even in the western fandom, how can you look at someone losing "enlightenment" and go "thats good" ?? Humanity fuck yeah is such a weird trope istg.

[poke-irs-real]

MICHEALWAVE

FUCK YEAHHHHH

MICROWAVE MICROWAVE MICROWAVE

[emosyzoth]

i ffucking love this guy

[ksneniya]

so real bc my Sundays are plagued with the knowledge it all starts again tomorrow

[lovelyghst]

just imagine ghost getting his Jacob's ladder piercing while he's dating you and after it's healed yall have sex for the first time and it's just like sensory overload

i know absolutely nothing about piercings, but this idea is simply too good to pass up. my brain is melting.

hmmm, thinking about ghost who, despite not being able to properly get off himself, is still so attentive to his sweet girl throughout the whole healing process; offering you his mouth and fingers whenever he notices your focus beginning to drift off and shift elsewhere, having you rub yourself up on his jean-clad thigh when you can’t seem to shake the burst of energy.

because while you never outright asked him for anything of the kind, he just knew.

and even if you were the one so insistent on following the piercer’s advice—taking each and every precaution possible in avoiding the risks that simon shrugged off as ‘not gonna happen.’—you still felt bad. though, he couldn’t resist your stern pouting for long, turning weak the moment you cocked your head and promised him a sweet treat when he’s all healed up.

so, of course, ‘whatever you say, doll.’

anything to put your pretty mind at ease. he is a soldier, after all. he can wait, even if it kills him. it got pretty damn close to it, too.

which is what makes the first time back so fucking good. that reunion, and the return of that glimmering look you get in your eyes every other time he presses his pink lips to your collar and gently hikes you up the mattress after a long time away.

and truthfully, he was done in the moment you tapped him on his shoulder and told him to guess what day it was.

“shit, baby—” he grits out with a heavy breath, eyes trained on your own as he watches you reverently lick up the underside of his cock. your fingers tighten around the base when his abs pull taut, tongue gliding over the cool metal.

taking your time in feeling each and every barbell leading to the tip, making him twitch in your hand at the hot and wet drag over his sensitive skin. a heavy breath seeps from his lungs, his jaw clenching as he fights to hold off. jesus, you’re too good to him.

a sweet fucking treat, indeed.

you giggle before taking the head of him between your swollen, spit-stained lips, reveling in the quick hiss he sucks in through his teeth as you whine at the familiar taste of his pre leaking onto your tongue. your other hand slips up his thigh while you squeeze your own together, your freshly done-up nails leaving little, pink crescent shapes in his thick skin.

“fuck— not gonna last ‘f you keep that up,” he warns, a struggle in and of itself, and it’s an utter miracle he doesn’t collapse to the floor when you only hollow your cheeks and suck in response. he hardly manages to stifle an embarrassingly whorish moan at that.

god, you look so pretty down there, on your knees for him. so fucking debauched, and so, so perfect.

the way your thumb toys with the piercings as you have your own fun, and how you preen in his hold like a sweet cat when he slips a hand to the back of your neck. he’s going to miss it when he forces himself to pull you away, frowning at the pout you give him as he’s lifting you off your feet and carrying you over to your bed.

“’m sorry, sweetheart… just too fuckin’ pretty for yer old man anymore— didn’t want it t’go to waste.”

he kisses your temple, mumbling his apologies in your hair. you hardly even register your bare back making contact with your sheets, so wrapped up in his hold, before he’s kissing his way down your neck.

“wanna fill yer pretty cunt,” he murmurs, and it’s nearly incoherent as his lips press against your racing pulse point. “make ‘er cum ‘round my cock… know y’missed it too, sweet girl. a proper fuck…”

he’s talking more to himself than anything, and a small gasp from you follows soon after when his arm is snaked between your bodies and his fingertips make contact with your swollen, little clit. won’t even stretch you out with his fingers; he’s had his fill of that over the course of the last month. let him feel how much you missed his cock.

“poor thing’s soaked f’me, baby.” he groans as he adjusts on his forearm and regains his bearings, dick twitching against your thigh with every noise squeaked out from your throat. “cunt’s gonna take me just right, lovie… so fuckin’ well…”

he rambles a lot when he’s needy, you’ve come to learn.

you whine when his hand leaves you to take his cock in a fist, your nails digging into his chest and shoulder when he presses the head to your messy pussy. just the tip in and you’re already seeing stars, the shared moan between the two of you raw and pornographic.

he’s gritting out his swears before you try to shush his dirty mouth with a kiss, and he accepts it greedily, almost too eagerly.

your body reacts to his, simultaneously craving more and trying to wiggle away from the overwhelming sensation all at once. your brain is fuzzy by the time he’s nearly bottoming out inside you, ears deaf to the unabashed sounds spilling from your lips as the feeling of his fresh piercings dragging against your every sweet spot burns itself into your memory.

and before you can catch your breath, a thumb is being pressed up against your sensitive bud once again, your legs constricting around him involuntarily as you jolt with a cry. heat prickles at your skin, his teeth at your jaw making your spine tingle.

he’s telling you to cum, begging you to make a mess of his cock.

his hand picks up its pace, hips grinding against yours sloppier than ever as he pleads right up against your temple for you to use him, just finish him off, fucking cum for him.

you squeeze around his cock like a vice and pull him straight under with you, arms locked tight around his neck as your pretty cunt utterly wrecks him. making him throb and twitch, fucking himself dumb through his high and wringing him dry of everything he’s kept pent up for you. at least for now, anyway.

his and your panting rings out in the room as he sits back on his knees, his cock still hard as he gently pulls out of you. watching his pearly cum bead from your slit, your chest gradually slowing down within the time he takes to drool over the sight of you.

it’s not long before simon has you laying on your tummy with your head in the soft sheets, a pillow slipped underneath your hips to prop you up. not making you do an ounce of work as he uses your warm, pliant cunt as his sweet cum dump for hours on end.

fucking you gently, lovingly, all while trying his best to keep his weight off your back. he kisses behind your ear, cooing praises and choked grunts that make your tummy flutter with butterflies. you can only giggle into the pillow nestled in your arms as he makes up for all the lost time.

filling you with load after load, the number becoming lost on your fuzzy mind after a certain amount, until your belly is achingly full and his cock is numb from overstimulation. only to coax you onto your back, easing your limp legs apart to watch his cum leak from your pretty hole. pressing a flat palm to your lower tummy, sighing in time with your strangled noises as your sensitive pussy drips more of his spend. leaning forward and licking it all up like some starved mutt; groaning at the taste, arms tightening around your hips as he eats his mess out of his pretty girl.

[nightsinfoxx15]

The Looney Tunes Show was like the best show on Cartoon Network

Thats 3/4ths of my humor came from LOL

laughing as people are JUST discovering the existence of The Looney Tunes Show (2011 - 2013). Best Looney Tunes series, imo. Ya'll are missing out.

[leviismybby]

It was easy for Levi to manhandle you, despite his structure, the man had natural strength. His hands grabbed your waist, his lips biting into your neck as he fucks you against the wall. He held you up, spreading your legs wide as his cock pumped in and out of you. Your legs were wrapped tightly around him, his muscles flexing under your hands that rested on his shoulders. "You feel so good, baby." He mumbles against your skin, the room was filled with skin slapping and your moans, Levi groaned here and there whenever he felt your wet and warm walls squeeze him.

The moment your head turns to the side, Levi grabs onto your hair harshly and turns you towards him. "Look at him." His voice was filled with desire, it was rough and somehow desperate, he wanted to see your eyes when you cum for him. You open your eyes, looking at him directly and Levi speeds up his thrusts, his cock hitting your spit with every move of his hips. He can see how good he is making you feel, how your eyes rolled back and your moans grew louder. "Levi! Right there!" You would've been embarrassed to talk like this, your voice has never sounded so whiney but he felt so good, he was fucking you so good. "Yeah? Right here?" His hands drop down to your ass and he starts to move inside of you even harder than he already did, your nails dig into his back causing a hiss to come from him.

Levi kisses you as he quickly carries you to the bed, he starts fucking you again the moment your back hit the sheets, your back arches, hands holding onto the white sheets tightly. Sweat from his hair drips onto your stomach, Levi grabs your breasts playing with your nipples, the bed creaks beneath you two. As your pussy starts to clamp down on him more, he grabs onto the headboard, his other hands pulling your hips up so he is even deeper inside of you. "Levi!" A loud moan of his name let's him know that this is the perfect angle, the headboard hits the wall repeatedly, the veins on Levi's hand viable, he grunts, his cock twitching inside of you. "Good girl. Good fucking girl. Taking me so well." He moves a bit slower, enjoying how you feel.

A noise from the headboard catches your attention, the wood was breaking under Levi's rough grips as his thrusts grew even more intense. "Shit, baby. I am gonna fill this pussy up so good....so fucking good." His words push you over the edge, your hands flaying to his lower back, you can't believe how well he is taking you, how well he can make you cum. You cum, your pussy twthcing as you do, his movements grow more sloppy. "There's my pretty girl. Fuck. I am close too." He let's go of the headboard and leans down capturing your lips in a possessive kiss, he let's out a moan against your lips, his thrusts slowing down as he reaches his orgasm, his seed filling you up to the brim. He lays on top of you for a little bit, you run your hand up and down his back as you two calm down. "Damn..." You whisper and Levi places a kiss on the mark he left on your breast before looking up at you. "Damn indeed."