#spiral trippin

[prettiedup]

prettiest thing cont ❀˖°

pls do excuse any typos !

you would’ve stopped her, honestly. if it wasn’t for her moving at the speed of light and practically teleporting in front of him. you could only watch with wide eyes as your cousin, who’s just as short as you, lifts her hand and punches onyankopon right in his jaw.

a series of gasps escapes not only your throat but others also. you can’t tell if someone paused the music or if you just managed to tune the music out due to shock. your feet feel planted to the ground, you don’t know if you should hold back your cousin or check on him. your ears ring as she begins to swing her arms wildly.

“yo, zi, chill!” someone screams. instantly, people are trying to pull the two apart. more so, zinnia away from ony.

ony isn’t exactly fighting back if anything he’s trying to grab her wrists to detain her.

as the scene unfolded, you felt your chest tighten, and your breathing became short. the room seemed to spin around you, and the voices of your friends and strangers became distant echoes. panic surged through your veins like a tidal wave, threatening to engulf you in its overwhelming grip.

there’s so much going on, you feel sick. the urge to throw up courses through your body.  

you clutch at your chest, trying to slow your racing heart, but it only seemed to beat faster. your thoughts spiral out of control, a mixture of fear and uncertainty. you struggle to make sense of what was happening, but the panic consumes you, clouding your mind with irrational thoughts.

then, in a moment of clarity, you recognize the familiar signs. this wasn't just nerves or stress—it was a full-blown panic attack. the realization hit you like a ton of bricks, sending a fresh wave of terror coursing through your veins.

the panic was relentless, its grip tightening with each passing moment. tears stung your eyes as you struggle to hold back the rising tide of emotion.

“yo itty bitty’s trippin’!” someone screams. you feel woozy and uncertain on your feet. everyone is packed so tightly, there’s barely any room to just breathe. you struggle to make sense of anything.

everyone froze in their spots when a sudden series of three shots rung through the air. for a moment no one in the house moved until one girl let out a gruesome scream and bolted towards the front door. and like the domino effect, everyone began rushing towards exits. panic ignites like wildfire, spreading through the room in a frenzy of desperate flight. you couldn’t find zinnia or sasha, not even ony. your legs struggle to keep up with the rapid running and rushing. Panic ignites like wildfire, spreading through the room in a frenzy of desperate flight. you close your eyes and just move with the crowd. 

the night air gushes against your face the second you get outside. desperately, your lungs begin sucking in the much-needed air. you’re stumbling around, trying to find your cousin, a friend, an acquaintance, anything.

as you struggle to look around outside, you’re suddenly pushed onto the ground by a strong force. a deafening scream escapes your throat as you fall face first onto the ground. you instantly ball up into a ball and begin sobbing. you regret coming, you should’ve just told zinnia no and stood on that. your face is both burning and aching, you can’t think clearly, and you’re still trying to recover from a panic attack. you began pleading for any god that’s listening to you to give you the strength to get up and walk, but it feels impossible to do so.

you don’t know if seconds or minutes pass but suddenly you’re picked up into strong arms. you continue to squeeze your eyes shut, you refuse to open your eyes and accept that what was happening is your current reality. you try to fight out of the person’s arms, hitting whatever you can.

“chill, mama. ‘s me. it’s your ony.” instantly your eyes are snapping open and you’re looking at the familiar brown eyes you fell in love with. his chocolate brown eyes are laced with concern. “fuck, we needa go.” you can’t tell if he’s talking to you or himself.

a heartfelt sob spews from deep in your chest. it’s so loud and powerful that it makes even ony stumble a bit.

he begins walking, he never once loosens his grip around your body. he speeds walk you to his car, looking behind his direction every other second. truthfully, he’s not worried about his own safety. he wishes someone would pull out a gun on him. it’s your safety he’s stressing about. even though he can try with all of his might to protect you, life is spontaneous, and he doesn’t know what could happen in the next few seconds.

he sets you down in the passenger seat, he would’ve usually made sure you were all the way strapped in your seatbelt but with the uncertainty that you were safe he just closes the door and makes a straight line to the driver’s side. he doesn’t waste time pulling his car away from the house, he speeds down the street, going way over the speed limit.

you’re still crying, with your face burning, you’re hesitant to look at yourself in the mirror. your shaky hand reaches for the mirror but ony quickly stops you by grabbing your hand and mixing his fingers with yours.

“stop. just chill. we’ll worry about that when we get to the crib.” he tells you. his voice is steady, and he hardly looks affected by being punched.

you look down at your entwined hands with widened eyes. it’s been days since you felt any sense of affection from him and it all feels foreign in a way. you don’t know if you want to push his hand off of yours or welcome it with relieved tears.

“jus’ keep breathin’ for me. ‘mma get you straight.” he promises.

you don’t say anything. you plop your head against the headrest. you feel utterly exhausted. along with exhaustion, you feel guilt. you know you’re safe with ony but you have no idea where sasha or zinnia is.

the realization knocks the wind out of your chest, and you perk up instantly.

“i don’t know where they are.” your voice is hoarse.

ony doesn’t need you to clarify who you’re talking about because he already knows. “they’re safe.” he tells you simply.

“how am i supposed to know that?” you snap back.

ony squints his eyes at your attitude. he doesn’t comment on it nor does he respond back to you. the two of you weren’t exactly on good terms and with what just happened he knows you’re talking with emotion and not logic.

even while snapping at him, you don’t let his hand go. if anything, you squeeze it a little tighter as you try to calm your nerves.

minutes later, he’s pulling up to his apartment complex.

“i wanna go home, not here.” you tell him stubbornly.

“your face is fucked up, you really wanna scare your momma by coming home all bloody?” he asks sarcastically. dropping your hand from his. “‘m not gonna touch you. i jus’ wanna make sure your mental is alright.” he tells you before turning his car off and opening the driver’s door.

he helps you out of his car. he makes sure you can actually walk and not stumble. he makes quick work of guiding you through the lobby and into the elevator. you two ignore the worried look the receptionist gives you two. while not knowing the backstory, it does look fucked up from an outside perspective. the two of you are deathly silent as you stand beside each other. there’s a look of irritation on your face while ony looks like he’s barely concealing his stress.

you’ve been to his apartment a plethora of times, so many times that you don’t wait for him to guide you to his doorstep. you walk in front of him, making sure to stomp your feet a little. you make it to his door before he does. you stand in front of it with your arms crossed, a look of impatience is etched onto your bruised face.

while you should be thanking him for picking you up instead of leaving you to die, memories of what he’s been doing and what he’s been putting you through flutter through your mind. days prior, you had daydreamed how you were gonna approach him and apologize, and hopefully get back onto good terms with the male. it all felt good in your head but as you stand beside him you can feel nothing but hate and resentment.

your face is on fire, it still hurts to even frown. you don’t even have to look at it to know it’s bruised. it takes everything in you to not cry again.

ony finally unlocks the door, he allows you to walk in first before following you in.

it’s almost robotic, the way you step out of your shoes and place them beside onyankopon’s expensive shoes. just like you have many times before. the two of you move through his apartment in silence, a hurtful but obvious factor that things aren’t the same. just three weeks ago you were here, laughing and joking with him. just three weeks ago, this apartment was your safe place whenever your parents got too overbearing, just three weeks ago your moans were ringing throughout the rooms as he brought you to mind-buzzing orgasms over and over. 

you let out a breath as memories begin hitting you like bricks. you shuffle into his living room, it looks exactly the same it did weeks ago. even down to the lego set you begged him to buy so that you two could build it together. you continue walking through the apartment, there’s no confidence in your steps like previously, only uncertainty. you walk into the bathroom and cut the lights on.

finally, you’re able to get a good look at your face. your heart skips in your chest as you observe the bruises. your entire left eye is swollen and irritated, there’s a bit of skin missing on the tip of your nose, and your lips are bruised with hues of blood still remaining. there’s some skin missing around your lips, and minor scratches littering your face in general. at the sight, you burst into tears. you took your appearance extremely serious and to see something so horrifying on your face一something everyone could see has you feeling sick.

it almost hurts to cry but you can’t stop the pity tears from escaping. what were you going to tell your parents? how could you manage walking out in public looking so bruised? you struggle to catch your breath as self deprecating thoughts flutter inside your head. you can’t stop looking at yourself. you’re almost struggling to accept that this is your face.

onyankopon rushes into the bathroom when he hears your wails. when he sees you looking at yourself he automatically sighs and reaches for you. he takes you into his arms and holds you against his chest. he lets out soft “shhs’” and “i knows’” in an attempt to calm you down. he knows you, he knows that you would have reacted this exact way the second he saw your face at the party. 

“i told you to chill, mama.” his voice, devoid of any anger. it carried a tone of genuine empathy rather than resentment. it holds a warmth that seemed to embrace rather than accuse. there was softness to his words.

you can’t respond to him due to how hard you’re crying. whatever he’s saying goes in one ear and out of the other. all you can think about is the current state of your face, and the events that took place before it.

“n-need to make sure zinnia ‘s okay.” you sniffle into his shirt.

“i need you to trust me when i tell you zinnia is safe, a’ight? i watched her with my own two eyes get somewhere safe, baby.” he reassures you.

“what about sasha?”

“she’s with connie.” he responds. he keeps his voice steady and every word he says is full of certainty.

you stay quiet at his responses. knowing that your girls are okay does take a little edge off of your shoulders. your mind feels less clouded and you can breathe just a bit better, now. 

he continues to hold you, not letting his grasp go. it feels good to have you in his arms again. it sucks because it’s under unfortunate circumstances, but he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been needing this一needing you. there’s so much to discuss with you, so much to apologize about, so much to own up to. those things can wait, though. so much has happened to you and he somewhat suspects the adrenaline is still pumping through your veins just a bit.

he wants to fuss at you for coming to the party anyway, but he knows that it wasn’t your idea to come. you’re too much of an anxious person to suggest coming to a party. the likeliness of the two girls dragging you with them to the party is higher than you dragging them. he doesn’t even know if it’s his place to get on you for coming anymore. he hates knowing that you were in a circumstance that a stray bullet could have hit you, and not to mention your face connecting with the ground and bruising you. he doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or not he didn’t see the person that pushed you because he probably would have acted with emotion rather than logic at that very moment.

“let’s put somethin’ on your pretty face, mama.” he’s pulling you from his chest and guiding you to sit down on the toilet seat.

he washes his hands before squatting in front of you. the bathroom becomes silent besides your occasional sniffles. he softly rubs the cream on bruised spots on your face, you bite down on your lip as you examine his face. flawless mocha brown skin, his skin seemed to glow with an inner radiance, as if kissed by the sun itself. his fox shaped eyes, a mesmerizing shade of chocolate-like brown, held a depth that drew you in, they reflected a world of untold stories and hidden emotions. his full, pink lips, delicately glossed from the habitual swipe of his tongue. he looks like he was personally crafted, as if god took his time shaping and mapping every area of him. even just his natural resting face is fierce and attractive.

as his fingertips grazed delicately around your eye, a sudden involuntary twitch rippled through your body, a sharp intake of breath escaped your lips, along with a hiss of discomfort spilling into the air. he withdrew, his gaze flickering with concern as he studied your face intently. lines of worry furrowed his brow.

“can i continue?” he asks after a few seconds of waiting for the pained look to etch off of your face.

you nod your head and he resumes to softly apply it on your face. occasionally, you jolt or let out a soft when he touches a spot that’s still burning. once he finishes doing so, he drops his hand and just takes a moment to look at you. your eyes flutter as the two of you make eye contact. time seems to still as you two wait for the other to do something, anything.

nothing happens. he looks away a few seconds later, and stands up to walk out of the bathroom. he quickly comes back with a towel and two rags for you.

“‘mma set some clothes on you on the sink. they’ll be there before you get out.” he tells you as he turns on the shower head and adjusts it to the temperature that he knows you prefer. 

he’s quick to walk out again and you’d be lying if you said a pang in your chest didn’t come to you. usually, he would have undressed the both of you and coaxed you to get into the shower with him. but that's the past, and you have to remind yourself of that. 

you undress yourself and step into the shower. your eyes widen when you realize onyankopon kept all of your products inside of his shower. you blink back the tears and instead focus on washing yourself.

it’s a struggle to not think about everything that has happened to you so far. you have never felt so stressed in your life. with you and onyankopon going through an undeclared break up, zinnia punching him, you having a panic attack, and you getting pushed and bruised. you quite frankly feel you’re on the verge of going insane. it feels like bad things keep happening over and over, not giving you the time to recover from what happened previously before something else happens. 

you find yourself standing within the confines of the apartment you once envisioned as a sanctuary, now transformed into a box of discomfort and unease. the air feels heavy with unresolved tension, each corner of the room echoing with the weight of unspoken words. every familiar object seems to taunt you with its silent witness to the downfall in your relationship. everything feels different and awkward and it makes you want to scream and pull out your hair. you two keep skipping over the elephant in the room instead of being adults and just discussing what happened.

you lose time on how long you stay in the shower. you scrub your body until it burns. by the time you step out, the water is no longer as hot and your fingertips have wrinkled. just as he promised, there’s clothes sitting on the sink, waiting to be used. you dry yourself off and use the lotion that he keeps on the counter. 

once you’re clothed, you step out of the bathroom. you follow the sounds of shuffling and rummaging in the kitchen. ony is standing there, eating something out of a tupperware bowl. when he sees your figure coming closer to him, he looks up from his phone.

“you good?” he asks, observing your face for any signs of uncomfort. 

“yeah.” you nod your head as you come closer to the island top. “‘m thirsty.” you comment.

ony is quick to move from his spot and grab a glass cup. he fills it up with cold water before handing you the glass. he watches you as you practically drink it all with three gulps. “wan’ some more?” he asks, an amused smile finds its way on his lips. when you nod your head once more he fills it up and just watches you. 

you don’t finish it all like you did previously. you drink a good amount before you’re pushing the glass away. now that you're hydrated and less sweaty, it feels like you can actually think and make sense of things.

“what time is it?” you ask him.

onyankopon looks down at his screen, “12:27.” your eyes widened, you didn’t realize it had gotten so late so quickly. “you hungry?” he asks, gesturing towards his food.

“‘m okay. i wanna sleep.” you tell him. you stand there awkwardly, unsure of where to go. do you sleep on the couch? his bed? maybe he’ll even book you a room.

“i got my bed ready for you.” he goes back to eating his food.

you freeze up in your spot. you weren’t sure if you were ready to share a bed with him at the moment. too much has happened today, also you two are practically broken up. you suppose he could see the discomfort filling your body because he begins explaining his words.

“i’m sleepin’ on the couch.” he explains. “my door has a lock on it too if you feel the need to use it.”

you blink at him. once, twice, three times before you’re nodding your head at his words. “goodnight.” you say. you don’t walk away for a few seconds. you just stare at him, in total disbelief that this is how you’re treating each other now. you have so much to say as well as so much to ask. the words die quickly in your throat just as fast as they ignite.

the second your back touches the soft, black silk sheets that adorn his bed; you immediately relax. your shoulders slack and you can’t stop the little yawn from escaping your mouth.

you look over on his nightstand and you’re surprised to see your phone sitting there charging. you’re quick to pick it up. hundreds of notifications sit on your notification bar, you decide you’ll look deeper into those in the morning. you search for zinnia’s contact and when you finally find it, you press it.

the line rings for a few seconds, you assume she isn’t going to answer until it suddenly picks up.

“snookie.” she says the second it connects. you could hear the relief in her voice.

“it’s me.” you confirm. “you alright?”

“yeah. i just—i fuckin’ blacked out at that party.” she’s chuckling like it’s the most humorous thing in the world. “i bet his ass ain’t never been punched like that.”

you can’t stop the giggle from escaping your throat. zinnia has always been a wild card, especially when she thought with her emotions. that’s how she became known in your city, she was always fighting at one point in middle school and up until her junior year in high school. she had a bad habit of spazzing out whenever someone told her what to do, or when someone messed with someone she loved. while people outside of your family just saw her as a troubled instigator, you and your family knew she was an aggressive person, she’s just big on respect.

“i.. i kinda wish you didn’t punch him.” you admit. you could hear her smack her teeth through the phone. you’re sure she’s also rolling her eyes too. “i don’t want things to be bad blood between you and ony. you guys have known each other for years.”

“snookie, you’re my cousin. you’re basically lil sister. i would never put a nigga before you. and i know how the game goes, i won’t allow some random ass boy to play in your face.” she tells you. her voice is sincere. she wants so much for you. she knows you were sheltered and haven’t had much of a chance to actually spread your wings and fly without someone looking over you. she also knows how possessive ony get, it doesn’t take much to see that he has you wrapped around his finger. it bothers her in a sense. she’s afraid you’ll continue to fail to set boundaries and allow him to do as he pleases.

you bite down on your lip as you listen to her words. “i know. i just—” you’re cut off by her loudly sighing.

“just nothing. i punched that nigga in his shit and i’d do it again if i need to.”

you know how zinnia gets. instead of arguing with her or begging to change her mind, you just accept it. “i hear you.” is all you can say.

the two of you sit in silence for a few seconds. you can’t think of anything to say to keep the conversation going. after such a draining day, you just wanted to sleep for months. your mind goes back to your face, which is still aching a little. you should’ve just told zinnia no, you wished sasha didn’t call and wake up zinnia. if none of that would have happened, there wouldn’t be a wedge between zinnia and ony, and your face wouldn’t be bruised.

“where are you?” she asks.

you hesitate on your answer. she’s going to be pissed when you say your location, you can feel it. you stare at the wall ahead, trying to think of a coverup. when nothing comes to mind, you sigh in defeat.

“onyankopon’s house.” you admit. 

“girl.” she practically yells into the phone. “how the hell did you get with him? how-what.. girl. i’m about to come get you.” you could shuffling in the background and the faint sound of the mattress crinkling. 

“no! zinnia, no. your voice trembles with urgency, reverberating through the phone. “i’m safe. way safer with him than anywhere else right now.” you try to explain, your breath quickening as you search for the right words. The silence on the other end is heavy before she lets out a breath.

“bullshit. i knew something was up when i asked eren if he saw you. i fuckin’ knew it, he was too calm when he said you’re good.” she begins rambling on how she’s going to punch eren next and onyankopon again. 

“z, i was literally having a panic attack when he found me. he’s been patient and careful with me this whole time. it’s just one night and then i’m goin’ right back to my house.”

zinnia sighs as she stops in her tracks. she could hear the begging and sincerity in your voice and it crushes her.  you’re grown, she has to remind herself.

“alright. snooks. alright. just.. just stay safe, okay?” zinnia plops back down onto the bed.

“i will.” there was no one safer than ony. even if you guys were going through an unofficial breakup, you’re positive he still wouldn’t let anything happen to you. “where are you?” you ask when you faintly hear a voice in the background.

“eren’s.” she says quietly.

“and you’re mad at me?!” you exclaim with a laugh.

her and eren have been on and off for years now. most of the time their relationship ends because zinnia gets irritated or overwhelmed by eren and calls it quits. there little breakups barely last a week before they’re seeing each other again. this time’s no different.

“i think the line is breaking up. i-oops-bye!” she says before hanging up on you. i stare at your phone in shock, did she really hang up on you? you can’t do anything but laugh to yourself.

you decide to call sasha too, who answers on the first ring.

“about to get dick. i’m safe, are you safe?” she asks hurriedly. you could hear r&b music blaring in the background and the sound of connie’s singing.

“yeah, just was calling to make sure everything was alright.” you explain to her.

“more than alright. i’ll call you tomorrow, snooks. gotta go.” you usher her a quick bye before ending the call.

there’s no one to distract your thoughts, now. you’re forced to look around in the room you lost your virginity in, the room it felt like you were just in. memories of you and onyankopon stumbling through the door, his hands planted on your waist as he guided you to his bed. other times you two would be laughing while carrying a bag from your comfort fast food place. you’d be discussing the new episode of the tv show you two enjoyed watching together. you don’t even realize your eyes were watering until one of your tears ran down your cheek. you let out a huff as you wiped it away only to hiss in pain when you accidentally touch a bruised spot.

there’s no telling how long you lay in bed staring blankly at the walls and ceilings. your thoughts are so loud that you can’t even find it in you to get on your phone. there’s memories of him there too. thankfully, you doze off and the stress from today is something to worry about when you wake up.

₊˚⊹ ♡ ʚ🎀ɞ ♡ ⊹˚

“you sure you're straight?” onyankopon asks. his brown eyes take in your bruised face. even through all of the marks and bruises, you’re still so beautiful. he had made sure you were fed and that he put cream on your face before you two made the journey back to your house.

you stare out of the passenger window. your heart feels heavy, you’re worried that this will be the last time you two officially talk. even though you were so sad and mad at him, you love him. he’s your first everything, and everything he did felt genuine. it was hard to throw something so meaningful behind you. your bottom lip trembles as you try not to cry in front of him. 

“i’ll make it.” is all you say. you try to keep up your disdained front, but onyankopon sees through it. he always does.

“i put the cream in your purse.” he tells you. he had made sure to drop it in while you were finishing the breakfast he bought you. 

“thanks.” you basically whisper out. you should be screaming at him, you should be telling him you hate him, you should be disrespecting him just as much as he did you at the party. but none of those emotions could be forefront at the moment. you’re sad, scared, and confused. you truly don’t want to lose him but you couldn’t just pretend you didn’t see the video and accept the disrespect.

the two of you sit in silence. after what feels like an eternity, onyankopon lets out a long, weary sigh, breaking the awkward stillness that had settled between you. “i know i fucked up. ‘nd i know we need t’talk some shit out. i got some plays to make today, ‘nd ion wanna rush you t’talk to me if you don’t want to.” he’s careful with his words, he doesn’t want to say anything else that would upset you and make you hate him more. “when you’re ready, call or text me.” 

finally, you look over at him. your eyes connect with his instantly and the familiar butterfly feeling returns in your gut. “alright.” you mumble. you pick up your purse and then open the door. you close it and without looking back like you usually would, you walk to your front porch. you could feel his eyes on you as you walked. it took almost all of your willpower to not look back.

you busy yourself with searching in your purse for your house key. he doesn’t pull off until you’re all the way in your eyes and the door is closed behind you. you don’t know how to feel. your relationship could possibly reconcile on your terms. you didn’t know if you wanted to reconcile. you’ve heard zinnia mention many times that she goes to eren’s for closure before they break up permanently, but she never comes back actually single. is that what’s going to happen with you and onyankopon? you’re sure he’s more mature than eren, so what if he decides to end things.

you’re so stuck in your thoughts you don’t realize your mother is calling you until she’s directly in your face. you had meant to rush into your bedroom and show your parents your face hours later. you’re sure your newfound state will be the talk of the house for the rest of the day now. her eyes are wide as she takes in your bruises, without a word her hand grabs your jaw. she assesses how bad things are with sharp eyes. you hold your breath as you wait for her to begin her lecturing. 

“daughter.” she says as she drops her hand.

“hm?” you pretend you don’t notice her mood drop or the fact that you can practically feel the anger radiating off of her.

“before i trip the hell out, you’re an adult. and in a very adult manner, without beating around the bush, you’re going to tell me what the hell happened to your face.” she leaves no room for argument, every word spoken is stoic and firm.

“ma, can i tell you later?” you’re sighing with deflated shoulders. “i need to just be alone right now and think.” you try to explain yourself.

“this is why i’m so protective. i let you go out, and this is how you come back! have you seen your face? do you know you have to go out in public like that?!” 

“please, ma. not right now.” your voice cracks as you plead with her to relax. the last thing you feel like dealing with is her fretting. “i’ll tell you, i just need some time alone.” 

“did that damn boy put his hands on you?! tell me now so we can go to the police!” her accusation has your heart thumping a little faster in your chest.

you quickly grow defensive on onyankopon’s behalf. “he would never! i fell.” you tell her simply. you could tell from the way she rolled her eyes that she didn’t believe you which only irritated you further. 

“you think i haven’t heard that before? that’s what girls always say to protect their boyfriend’s. i refuse to allow you to see him if一”

“he didn’t hit me! i fell! i was at a party, a fight broke out, it escalated into something further, and everyone got scared and started pushing. no one hit me, i was pushed and fell face first.” you make sure to leave out the fact that it was zinnia who got into a fight. 

your mother’s sharp eyes eye you from head to toe. there’s a frown on her face that screams that she still doesn’t believe you. you feel the urge to cry, you were being truthful and telling her what happened from start to finish, and for her to not believe you made you want to scream.

“you’d tell me if he一no, anyone, put their hands on you. right?” her voice is calmer. you assume she’s trying to piece together your words.

“yes. you know i would. i know how crazy you and dad can get.” you try to slip in a joke to ease the tension that was brewing between the two of you. it seemed to work because a small smile cracked onto her lips as she nodded her head in agreement.

“mhm. everybody know we don’t play about our baby.” she chuckles. she gazes intently at your face for a few more seconds, her eyes searching yours as if looking for something unspoken. finally, she lets out a deep, weary sigh, her shoulders slumping slightly with the weight of unvoiced thoughts. “that’s how i know you’re my daughter. still pretty with scratches and shit on your face.”

you can’t stop the laugh from escaping past your lips. “i learned from the best.”

“your daddy’s upstairs. gone and show him you face so that he can get his shock out the way too.” she tells you.

you groan in annoyance at her words. “ma一”

“gone on.” she repeats firmer. 

with hesitant, slow steps you take your time walking up the stairs. you knew your father was going to absolutely lose his shit. and you’re more than positive that he’s going to overreact before you can explain to him what happened. the walk to their bedroom is too short for your liking. you knock twice before you put your hand on the knob and slowly open the door.

“hey babygir一what the hell?! go get the gun!” 

a heavy sigh escapes your lips as the realization hits you. you’re going to have to explain everything and soothe his worries, just as you did with your mother. the weight of the impending conversation settles on your shoulders, and you mentally brace yourself for the emotional rollercoaster ahead.

₊˚⊹ ♡ ʚ🎀ɞ ♡ ⊹˚

it’s been a week since you’ve talked to onyankopon. since the, you’ve been forcing yourself to go out more, regardless of what happened to your face. sasha and zinnia have doing wel on keeping you and your mind occupied. the three of you have been going on many nature walks, shopping trips, and road trips. it seems as if love was no longer in the air, as your two ‘sisters’ complained about their failing love life as well. 

you three were walking a popular trail in your city. the path was lined with a diverse array of vibrant plants, their leaves rustling gently in the breeze. every so often, a flash of color would catch your eye as various birds and delicate butterflies flew by. all three of you were wearing pink pilates workout sets that you begged them to wear with you. 

zinnia wiped off the sweat that formed on her forehead. “shit! it’s hot.” 

“i miss my man.” sasha pouts as she lets out a dramatic fake cry.

“bitch, don’t we all.” zinnia rebuttals. she takes a gulps out of her water bottle while sasha begins ranting about connie.

“i didn’t even do shit to him this time! i think he’s on his boy period or something.” sasha groans. 

“eren told me, i’m and i quote, ‘too crazy’.” zinnia’s lips tug into a frown “‘m not crazy, just sensual.” she defends herself.

“nah girl, you’re crazy. but eren is crazy too, so y’all are made for each other.” sasha tells zinnia.

“didn’t you chase connie down when you saw another girl in his car?”

you zone the two girls out. even though you’ve been going out more. it would be a lie to say you haven’t been missing ony, it’s gotten to the point where you find yourself tearing up a little and have to quickly mask it. you absolutely love spending time with your girls, the both of them together always make sure to make you laugh. but there were traits of ony that the two of them didn’t carry and couldn’t make you forget.

the urge to text him and possibly reconcile has been begging you to give in. you should hate him, you should absolutely despise him, but for some reason you don’t. you feel the urge to sit down with him, and simply ask him why. you had never done anything to disrespect him, ever, so why did he feel the need to disrespect you? 

your mind races with a whirlwind of thoughts, each one pulling you in a different direction. part of you craves the closure that a conversation might bring, the chance to understand his actions and perhaps find some peace. yet, there's an undeniable fear that talking to him could reopen old wounds, making it even harder to move on. you find yourself questioning everything—did you miss the signs, were there red flags you ignored, or was it all just a cruel twist of fate? the uncertainty gnaws at you, leaving you torn between the need for answers and the instinct to protect your heart from further pain.

“snookie.” zinnia’s voice calls you out of your thoughts. you slightly flinch and look over at her. “you talked to ony recently?” she asks curiously.

“uh, no. we haven’t spoken since he dropped me off last week.” you tell the two. “he told me to call or text him whenever i’m ready.” 

“are you ready?” sasha asks you. 

you think on your words. you find yourself at a loss of words which causes you to shrug your shoulders unsurely. “i-uhm.. i think i’m kinda ready.” you say hesitantly.

“don’t be in a rush to talk. let him be without your presence for a little.” sasha tells you.

“that’s the thing, we’ve been going without talking for a while. and honestly i miss him, so much, maybe too much.” memories of what he did at the party flashes through your mind which causes you to internally shudder. “i think i might talk to him soon.” you huff. 

the girls give each other a look before they give you any sort of vocal response. “you sure?” zinnia asks worrily. “i don’t want him to just sweet talk you and you instantly give in. we know you, snooks.”

you take in her words. what people don’t understand is that he’s your first everything. he holds a place in your heart that no person will ever compare to. regardless of if you end things with him or not, you’ll forever have love for him.

“i don’t know how it’s going to go, honestly. i’m just ready to talk to him and have a final answer.” 

“well, just know we support whatever you choose.” sasha tells you while giving you a genuine smile. 

 ₊˚⊹ ♡ ʚ🎀ɞ ♡ ⊹˚

the sound of partynextdoor's voice fills onyankopon's car. the smell of weed and a mixture of his strong cologne fills your smell. it's two merged smells that you've grown to miss. you feel strangely nervous to be around him, as if he wasn't just your boyfriend some weeks ago.

you're nervously typing in the three out of three group chat. you're updating the girls about every minor detail that happens. you were beginning to regret agreeing to meet up with him, you thought you would have been more confident and assured but just a lazy glance from his brown eyes had butterflies floating around inside your stomach.

you look down at the cupholder where his phone rests. that's what started it all. him leaving his phone and you taking it upon yourself to pick it up and go through it. you quickly learned your lesson, you probably will never touch anyone else's phone except yours for the rest of your life.

you wouldn't have had time to do it again, anyway. seconds later, onyankopon is approaching his car with both vanilla sundaes in his tattooed hands. he hands you yours before sitting down and making himself comfortable.

"thank you." the words leave your lips stiffly, lacking the warmth they once held. just weeks ago, you might have added a playful nickname, something intimate that rolled off your tongue with ease. now, the air between you feels thick with unspoken tension, making such casual familiarity feel out of place and awkward.

he mutters out a stilted “you’re welcome” before he’s putting his car in reverse and backing out of the parking lot.

he drives in silence, and you make no attempts to spark up a conversation. you have no clue of what to say to him first. occasionally, words bubble in your mouth and as you’re ready to vocalize them, you stop yourself. 

the drive isn’t particularly long. quicker than you expected, ony is pulling into a secluded spot that overlooks the river running through your city. the location is perfect, offering an unobstructed view of the sunset. the sky is awash with warm orange hues, casting a gentle glow over the water, the scene feels almost surreal, the calmness of the view displayed to you wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. it’s short lived when he puts his car into park and turns it off, only the music is running. your heart drops as you realize the inevitable is about to happen.

you focus intently on your sundae, trying to distract yourself. your stomach is doing flips, making it nearly impossible to swallow the sweet, creamy bites. each spoonful feels like an effort, the sugary treat almost too much to handle the turmoil inside you.

“how have you been?” his voice makes you flinch a little. you thought he was going to stay just as quiet as you.

“i’ve been good.” terse and short. you’re not even doing it on purpose, it’s just all you could provide. “how about you?” you add on to seem less rude.

he takes a spoonful of his ice cream before he responds to you. “life has been lifing.” he chuckles but it seems forced.

“oh.” is all you can provide. admittedly, hearing that he’s been going through things and not everything has been peaches and cream for him fulfills some insecure part in your brain.

“snookums.” the nickname he used to call you had your eyes suddenly watering. you pretend to not be affected by his words by inhaling a restricting amount of ice cream. “i’ve never felt like this about anyone, ever. i want us to work, forreal. i don’t think i can continue livin’ my life without you in it. you’re all pink ‘nd glittery ‘nd shit. you deadass walked into my life and brightened shit up. i love it. i love you.” ony finishes off his words with a heavy inhale. the sound of the water clashing against each other fills the silence as you try to collect your words.

tears continue to threaten to spill past your eyes as you stare out of the windshield window. you feel so overwhelmed, there were hundreds—millions of. things you wanted to say to him when you were mad but now that you’re calm and thinking, you have nothing to say. deep down, past your rapidly beating heart, you knew that you didn’t want your relationship to end. but it’s choosing between fighting for your relationship and accepting his wrongdoings or ending things now and keeping some sort of morals.

you don’t even realize tears are dripping down your face until ony’s fingers wipe under your eyes, catching a few stray tears. you turn your head to look at him, his chocolate eyes are only on you. there’s a restless look on his face. was no contact hurting him as much as it was hurting you? you honestly hoped it was.

your words die in your throat every time you try to form a sentence. you could only sniffle and rub at your eyes.

“w-why? just.. why? why’d.. you let her dance on you? why’d you go an-and embarrass me like that?” you barely manage to get everything out without bursting into tears. your voice is wobbly and cracked. you hate feeling like this.

“i was high ‘nd drunk as fuck. but that does not at all excuse my actions. i’m genuinely sorry for my actions and i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” his voice sounds sincere, and the way he's gazing at you, with his eyes practically begging for a second chance, makes it clear how much he means it.

you take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. the hurt still lingers, but so does the memory of the good times. now’s the time to be an adult, to communicate thoroughly, to set boundaries and not just go with whatever he says.

"what you did.. really hurt me.” you sigh out before continuing. “and it's going to take time to rebuild that trust. but i can see how sorry you are, a-and i want to believe that you can change. i need to know that this won't happen again." you say quietly, your voice trembling slightly. you look into his eyes, searching for the sincerity you hope is there.

“i swear on everything that this won’t happen ever again, i’ll deactivate what ever account, i’ll stop goin’ to parties, all of it. you matter more than any social media page or party, i’ll forever choose your love.” he tells you sincerely. his voice carries a blend of determination and vulnerability. timidly, he reaches for your left hand, his fingers trembling slightly as he gently lifts it. when you allow him to grasp it, he envelops your smaller hand in his larger, warmer grip, a gesture of his earnest plea for forgiveness.

 ₊˚⊹ ♡ ʚ🎀ɞ ♡ ⊹˚

“and yeah.. i took him back.” you finish recalling the events that took place to zinnia and sasha. the three of you are lounging on your bed, spiraled in different positions so that all three of you could fit. the two girls were hanging onto every word you said, nosily. “i know i’m stupid or naive but一” you’re cut off by zinnia talking over you.

“none of that, snookie. you’re young and in love. no one knows you better than you know him and if you want to give him another chance then so be it. don’t block yourself from love worrying about what everyone else is going to say or think.” your cousin’s words are firm and she’s looking directly into your face to let you know she’s serious. “it’s your first serious relationship, not everything’s gonna be perfect.”

“literally. have you seen how many times we went back to these damn men? we might not like them right now, but we do love them.” sasha backs up zinnia’s words.

“well, i wouldn’t say i love eren, but he’s real chill y’know? zinnia's voice trails off as both you and sasha exchange an unimpressed glance. sasha raises an eyebrow, and you stifle a sigh, knowing exactly where this conversation is heading. “what?! i’m serious!” ainnia insists, her tone defensive, but her attempt to convince you falls flat. “

your cousin’s a liar, maybe you shouldn’t listen to her advice.” sasha side eyes zinnia some more.

the girls begin bickering while you think back to onyankopon. he has been trying to do better and also get the relationship back to how things were before the argument. he’s constantly checking up on you, making sure you’re still applying cream to your fading bruises, and sending you money whenever you mention the slightest things. the awkwardness that manifests sometimes still lingers between the two of you, but you both try to work around it and adjust.

he’s been having an uproar of clients which means having to stay on the go constantly since he  also delivers. he still makes sure to find time to call you and talk about your day and plans. you feel like a giddy teenager having their first crush.  

“when’s the last time you and connie talked?” zinnia asks sasha.

“while i was driving over here. i had him on bluetooth, and asked him if he still hates me. he told me i ‘ruined his life’. like okay mr.dramatic.” sasha recounts while rolling her eyes and shrugging her shoulders. 

“he might be onto something.” zinnia comments.

“oh, please!” sasha responds defensively.

these two girls have made sure to keep you content and entertained this entire time. they’ve never judged you or made you feel left out and confused. and you’re so grateful for them. you don’t even realize you’re crying until their attention is placed onto you and they’re both gazing at you with confused curiosity. 

“snookie, what’s wrong?” sasha asks worrily. “is it cause i brought up connie? his vibe is negative right now but he’s not that bad of a person.” 

you huff out a laugh at her words. with the end of your shirt, you use it to dab at your eyes. “no it’s not that. i just一i’m so grateful to have you both. y’all have been so supportive and understanding. and i’m so thankful.” you finish off your words weakly. instead of successfully wiping at your tears you’ve only managed to multiply them.

“awe, snookie! you’re gonna make me cry!” zinnia exclaims while wiping at her eyes. “you’re our lil’ sister why wouldn’t we be here for you?” she sniffles.

“you mean the world to us. and you were going through an extremely vulnerable situation, of course we were going to make sure you stayed level headed.” sasha adds on, her voice filled with empathy and concern.

all three of you find yourselves caught in a chorus of sniffles, a harmony of shared vulnerability while comforting each other. the scene is both comical and beautiful. three women that have each other as a solid support system. all three of your personalities are polar but they still manage to successfully merge and create a beautiful sisterhood.

after the three of you calm down and go back to your usual selves, you decide to spark up the conversation again. “ony wants me to come over his crib tonight.” you tell them nervously. 

they both look up from their phones and look at you. zinnia has a look of hesitance while sasha has a smirk on her lips. 

“snookie’s trying t’get freaky!” sasha laughs. with a sly smile on your lips, you cover your face in embarrassment. she isn’t exactly wrong. it’s been a while. you went from getting some almost everyday, including multiple times a day, to none. late night when it was just you in your room, you get wandering thoughts and memories that are too extreme to ignore. 

“it would be nice.” you giggle shyly.

“don’t think you have to have sex with him, okay? just ‘cus y’all are together again doesn’t mean he needs to be inside you.” zinnia lectures. she really does just want the best for you, and she’s aware that you just want to go out and live. she doesn’t want to be sheltering like your parents, but she does want you to be safe.

“okay.” you nod your head. you’re aware that she just wants the best for you. 

“don’t end up having a mini ony.” sasha warns you.

 ₊˚⊹ ♡ ʚ🎀ɞ ♡ ⊹˚

“ohmygod!” you squeal. your legs are spread open with onyankopon’s broad figure in between them. everything about him is so big, including the fingers that are rubbing at your clit. “baby.” the word escapes from your mouth weakly as your hands clench at the messy covers.

onyankopon busies himself with kissing at your jaw, his full lips leave trails of wet kisses. you felt so full, if you concentrated enough it almost felt like he was going beyond the confines of your walls and into your stomach. 

“missed you, baby.” his tone is soft as he continues his trailing. the sound of his lips smacking against your skin and your body’s merging together to create a lustful harmony echo’s through his bedroom.

“missed you too.” you heave out. he’s taking his time to fuck you. his thrusts are articulated and rhythmic, he never skips a beat as he fills you up over and over again. the sound of his heavy balls slapping against your ass almost embarrasses you. 

your pussy’s a sputtering mess, gushes of your arousal continue to coat his dick every time he pushes his thick dick into your warm walls. the only time he’s ever fucked you so slow and sincerely is the night he took your virginity. there’s something about the slow pull of his hips that has you going crazy. he’s moving so slow but it’s enough to fill you up and have you muttering words of love.

“you missed getting fucked like this, baby? hm? missed the way i filled you up?” he moves to your ear to whisper sweet little praises. everything he’s muttering to you sounds good. he hasn’t fucked you to the point that you could feel yourself going dumb. instead, you feel an infinite amount of love for him, with the way he’s slowly moving and talking to you, is this what making love feels like? you wonder to yourself.

“yes, ony, missed it so much.” you moan.

“jus’ love you s’much.” ony mumbles to you. his tongue darts out to trace the shell of your ear. he’s going even slower it feels like. 

“faster, ony.” you whine. you were absolutely enjoying his slow languid thrusts but you were beginning to grow more needy. you wanted him to fuck you like he usually did. rough, unforgiving, and nasty. 

“y’asking or telling, baby?” he taunts. he stops his thrusting all together which draws another whine out of you, this time more frustrated than the other. 

“asking.” you’re pouting and grabbing at his shoulders. you look so small under him, it makes him want to be mean. he knows you can take it, you always do. 

ony moves back to your lips, he doesn’t rush to connect his lips with yours. instead, he lets his linger by yours while looking deeply into your eyes. even after talking and forgiving him, there’s so much left to be said. he knows it’ll take time to rebuild the trust you had in him and plans on making sure to never put you in a predicament like that again. slowly, he leans into you and presses his lips yours.

you get so caught up in the steamy kiss, you don’t realize he had begun to move his hips again. not until, he gives you a particularly hard thrust that has you pulling away from the kiss so that you could moan freely. 

he plows his dick into your aroused cunt causing soft mewls to escape from your mouth. you had begun biting down on your lip, he realizes. ony smacks his teeth and stops once again. wordlessly, he had leaned up and placed one of your legs on his shoulder.

a loud moan frees itself from you when he suddenly starts pounding your pussy. the rough, firm rhythm is back, just faster.

“‘m sorry.” he repeats to you. he’s letting out moans and huffs himself as he loses himself inside your tight, wet pussy. 

“mmm!” is all you can groan in response. your brain can’t handle words at the moment. your eyes zero in on where the two of you are connected. there’s a thick white coat around his dick and some splatters on his pubic hair.

“gonna make it up t’you. i love you.” he promises with a desperate whine.

his finger goes back to fondling with your sensitive clit. your back arches up, which only gives a better view at your chest. “love you too—love you more.” you gasp out. 

that night, he makes love to you over and over until the two of you are extremely exhausted. he makes sure to apologize, to make promises he guarantees he’s going to fulfill, and to never hurt you like that ever again. 

taglist: @conniecherry @ikookiesword @briluvsmoney@shaleiishigh @undevidedattentionsblog @notbeforelong @chunkygirl07 @chericherilady8@romansssrevenge @ejdhsk @jeansspacegirl @imaniitheoneee @aiyaaayei @kenbentenn @prettypink-princesss @severenswife @kirayuki22 @cauqhtz @prettypinkpwrincess @undermypersuasion @onysmamas @whoareyouuuo @lowellsdomain @rosemary-222 @jamies-cumslut @okayiamkassandra @thatblckquietgirl2 @coriewrld @xoxo-shy @iloveoldermenn @jupittterrrrr @katsukis-lilbunnywhore @vayaonair @naj-ay444 @hidd3nbimbo @rintcrous

[jenscx]

ATTENTION — kim minji smau

being the music bank mc has its pros. being able to meet your bias, interacting with other idols… too bad your partner is the only idol you hate; kim minji.

STATUS LOADING… finished!

TAGS — fluff, angst, idol!minji x idol!reader, enemies to lovers, secret pining, mubank partners, cursing

UPDATES — wednesdays and fridays

! IMPORTANT ! this fic is not an accurate portrayal of the kpop idols mentioned. everything stated is fiction.

CHARACTERS… IVE lost my mind | hyein antis

00. prologue

01. confrontation

02. annoyingly pretty

03. weverse live

04. dating rumours

05. shut up

06. nightlife

07. ok translator

08. STOP BEING GAY

09. eye contact

10. kys loser

11. fancams

12. feeling: devious

13. yn’s downfall

14. hiatus

15. fav album?

16. cheer up baby

17. i wish you would

18. YNJI REUNITED!

19. moment of weakness

20. BALLS IN YO MOUTH

21. #featured

22. yo chat

23. downbad spiral

24. liam pain

25. honesty

26. god forbid

27. wsg dawg

28. unnie

29. jinnie

30. alpha side (half-written)

31. feral over you

32. insane rizz

33. forrealz

34. situationship OVER.

35. let’s go!

36. a question (half-written)

37. three months curse

38. ynji moments

39. ynji moments pt.2

BONUS. yn’s playlist

40. favourite idol

41. holy shit

42. just friends

43. yujin was right

BONUS. playlist #2

44. first wlw heartbreak

45. the 1

46. we got this

47. snooze by sza

48. triple texted

49. d/milf hunter

50. yes or yes?

51. good morning

52. hanni the therapist

53. happy birthday

54. letting go (half-written)

55. movie night

56. wonyoung’s talk (half-written)

57. sheldon the turtle

58. ure trippin

59. coquette core

60. attention (half-written)

TAGS ! @ky-yk @urmom2314 @nasyu-kookies @limbforalimb @yoontoonwhs @be0mluver @lesleepyyy @eunhhh @edamboon @sewiouslyz @haerinfangs @impossiblesharkcashrebel @mightymyo @dexthzone @pandafuriosa60 @haew0nz @dmndtears @awkwardtoafault @hyehae @sserajeans @haerinkisser @chaerybae @yukianism @urwyf3 @xxsplatashaxx @kimsgayness @manooffline @yerisdumbass @jeindall777 @jiwoneiric @justme-idle @imthisclosetokms (closed)

[allureasdiary]

Ms. Allurea Doll

Just did @thevirgodoll quiz about 4 times again. The first 2 times were me answering honestly, the second 2 times was how I'd imagine my dream self to answer. The main results I got were:

(When answered honestly)

♡ Enigma Doll

♡ Emo Doll

♡ Vixen Doll

(When answered as dream self)

♡ Barbie Doll (this one came up a lot when i retook i def thought i was trippin😭)

♡ Socialite Doll

♡ Superstar Doll ___________________________________________

- Update:

Things that I noticed when it comes to the difference between my current self and my dream self:

Personality

(Me)

○ Introverted, Shy, Private, Reckless, anxiety, writes out thoughts, feels better behind the scenes, switches between girly and tomboy aesthetics, easily gets upset/uses rage in creations, extreme sexual energy, down to earth, nurturing, hates fitting in, blunt/honest, prefers solitude rather than being in groups

(My Dream Self)

♡ a bit more extroverted than current self, expresses thoughts/feelings through many art forms not just writing, has multiple aesthetics, has slightly more feminine energy than masculine, not afraid to speak her mind (aka SOB), wants to put more love in the world, can connect with people, not afraid of spotlight + has leader energy, trendsetter, doesn't mine shining light

___________________________________________

My thoughts on my results:

When it comes to personally connecting with my archetypes put together I feel like the contrast between my dream self and current self matches most with who I would like to show/be to the world (dream self) vs who I am/prefer to be off stage (current self).

I'd like to think these are my private vs public persona. I've found myself acting mist like the first set of archetypes when I feel too disconnected from myself or when spiraling from the world and want to rebel against it. However, I tend to act more like the 2nd set of archetypes when I'm having the most fun and also when I feel protected enough to show a bit more personality.

I also feel like the 2 sets of archetypes perfectly show the duality in my personality, attitude, energy, etc. A contrast between my dark femininity (current self) and light feminine (dream self). Due to my dream self, i don't want to always be perceived as intimidating so me having barbie, Socialite and superstar doll actually makes a ton of sense. People would actually consider vixen, enigma and emo much more intimidating or outcast due to how much they stand out against the norm.

___________________________________________

My final thoughts/questions:

Now that I know where I fall in doll archetype. My question is which should be used for outer aesthetic and which should I lean more towards when it comes to presenting myself inwardly?

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡Poll Time♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Outer Prescence (Main Aesthetic, Wardrobe, outer aura, etc). Inner Prescence (energy, attitude, personality, etc). I'm indecisive so I need help choosing 😭

(Whichever is chosen, the other automatically goes to inner prescence)

Side note...this photo captures the duality of the 2 perfectly 😂😂

[cgsf]

Teen Wolf fanfiction recs:

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski [Part 6]

"the one where Derek gets high" 🔒 (E) by nighimpossible | 1,167 | Derek needs to find a way to relax, and Stiles is more than willing to assist.

"Sevens and Eights" (T) by calrissian18 | 10,092 | Stiles has a bandage slung under his chin like a disembodied helmet strap when Derek first meets him. It’s complemented by a chipped front tooth and a scrape of road rash across his cheek.

"in case of emergency" 🔒 (G) by nighimpossible | 970 | Derek finds out that he is Stiles' emergency contact in a surprising fashion.

"You Saw Me Standing Alone" (E) by anonymous | 43,947 | A pack of alpha werewolves is burning a war path through Beacon Hills; Stiles shouldn’t have the luxury of trying to get laid.

"Water for the Baby" (T) by afullrevolution | 12,134 | Stiles always thought his touch telepathy was frustrating, but finding out someone's a werewolf while trying to knock them on their ass? That's just fun.

"I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream" (T) by afullrevolution | 9,319 | Stiles has already seen his future and is confused about his past (it's all a bit like dreaming). Scott is just trying to help and Derek doesn't know what is going on, but is more than willing to go with it.

"Once, Twice, Three Times" ���� (E) by kth | 3,898 | The Beacon Hills Strangler, as Stiles has come to think of their newest serial killer, seems to have moved on from killing virgins for the time being. That doesn’t calm Stiles at all though; he knows about patterns. Sometimes they repeat.

"We're very fortunate, indeed" (T) by MemeKon | 2,055 | "Do you really think we'd be good together?" Stiles says, out of nowhere, eyes faintly narrowed, nose scrunched. "Like, honestly? Because everyone goes on and on about it, and I think--" "Does this look like a good time to be thinking about that?" He replies, mind blank and teeth long and menacing, clenched with a strength that makes his jaw ache after a few minutes. Body tense, curled like an iron spiral. "Well, excuse me." He whispers, hands tight on his weapon, long fingers paled from the pressure. "Let's talk about this the next time we get together for tea and cookies, shall we?"

"Better Than Revenge" 🔒 (E) by kth | 7,330 | Deucalion pokes at the ground with his cane, narrowly misses taking out a baby spruce. “Mm, you know it isn’t really a party with just two, Hale.” He smiles and, yeah, Stiles is scared shitless but also a little bit turned on.

"It's like he's all that" (T) by MemeKon | 3,639 | Stiles is different. Stiles is not nice under any definition of the word, he’s such an asshole. Sure, he’s a good guy deep down, he punched Jackson square in the jaw when he mocked the McCall kid for an asthma attack that one time, and Derek knows he helped Erica Reyes get that video of her seizure taken down, but he’s so— "Fuck off, Derek." Stiles tells him without sparing him a glance when Derek sits next to him on chemistry. "I’m not up to play She’s All That with you, dude."

"Lay us down (we're young and in love)" (M) by MemeKon | 3,673 | For all that Stiles acts like he knows his own value, acts like he's the shit, deep inside he's just a kid that's... What? Never been touched? But he has. Been touched, that is. There's Derek, who's pressed his hands everywhere Stiles has allowed him access to; and before that... There was the girl, Heather? And before... And before nothing. That's it.

"You got me trippin', stumblin', flippin', fumblin'" (T) by MemeKon | 3,640 | Stiles gives him a lopsided smile, asks him, “are you gonna let me in or what, man?”, gesturing at Derek expansively with his long, nimble fingers, and Stiles’ shirt is maybe a little small on his growing frame, because with the movement of his arm it shows a sliver of skin, a little of pale stomach, and Derek has to clear his throat. “Yeah, sure.” He says.

"Like wine upon the lips" (T) by MemeKon | 1,673 | “So, the word's on the streets that you're some sexy polyglot,” Stiles says, wiggling his eyebrows annoyingly before he slumps on the couch next to him and puts his feet on Derek's coffee table, limbs akimbo, loose and long. “Sexy polyglot,” Derek repeats, raising an eyebrow, and pushing Stiles' feet off the table with his own. “Yeah, you know, sexy man of many languages.” “I know what polyglot means,” he replies.

"I'm gonna write another traveling song" (T) by MemeKon | 5,732 | They are in Santa Rosa when he gets the first text. 'im sorry' Derek stares at it for what feels like a minute but is probably twenty seconds. Still excessive. The phone beeps again. 'for the Kate thing i mean. i'm sorry for bringing it up and rubbing your face in it'

"Outer Dark: A Pornographic Fever Dream" (E) by ahab2692 | 3,030 | It’s inevitable, Scott knows that now. Stiles and Derek will happen one way or the other. The only question left is how much blood will be spilled between now and then.

"Response" (M) by MemeKon | 1,077 | “It freaks me out a little when you do this.” Stiles says one evening upon finding him waiting for him on his room, heart racing, palms smelling of cold sweat. It makes every joint on Derek’s body ache. He’s wet and half naked, recently showered, and the trail of hair coming out of his low hanging shorts leading up to his navel is sticking to his skin and making Derek’s brain short circuit. “It shouldn’t,” he answers, trying to tear his eyes away from Stiles’ lower abdomen, from his hips and his- “you’re pack.”

"Questionable Life Choices" (E) by cancelcompassion | 10k+ WIP | Derek is resentful, Stiles looks surprisingly good without a shirt on, and then Stiles decides to Chuck Norris the shit out of some stuff.

"You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger" (E) by DevilDoll | 8,092 | "It's not all handcuffs and spankings and learning to deep throat." This is an AU with consensual BDSM sex acts, in which Derek supports Stiles financially in exchange for a sexual relationship. Stiles is of legal age.

"Once Kitten, Twice Shy" 🔒 (T) by Jerakeen | 718 | “Awww. Who’s a happy wolfy.”

"Something Weird" 🔒 (M) by Jerakeen | 1,455 | "So I pretend-held your hand," Stiles says with half a shrug. "How was that weirder than me doing things to your dick?"

"A Handprint on the Door" (T) by mrsvc | 5,233 | 5x Derek and Stiles ended up sleeping at the same time (but not necessarily together), and the one time they did.

"A Long Way To Go" (T) by tekmessa | 10,572 | Five times Derek happened to come across Stiles by accident, and one time Derek chose to seek him out.

"Found The Place To Rest My Head" 🔒 (M) by Lapin | 5,468 | There are selkies being controlled, and a witch out for power, and there's Derek and Stiles. There's always Derek and Stiles, and if Derek has his way, it will always, always be that way.

"frat au" (E) by endversed | 32,318 | Derek is a closeted frat boy, and Stiles gets under his skin.

"Five" 🔒 (M) by Jerakeen | 333 | Five. Five of them. He must’ve said it out loud because Stiles is also staring at his hand now, shocked and frozen. Derek doesn’t have the courage to look into Stiles’ eyes—not now, not after this—but his eyes move anyway, as if magnetized, and lock with Stiles’ over their tangled hands. "This is real," Stiles says.

"From the Cradle to the Grave" (T) by jezziejay | 4,207 | It’s not that the sheriff doesn’t like Derek. It’s just that he thinks Stiles could do better. But Stiles has been an adult for over two years now, so he can make his own choices. Even if they are terrible.

"Heatwave" 🔒 (E) by Jerakeen | 2,816 | The drug is called heatwave. It supposedly emulates werewolf heats on humans. And yes, Stiles is stupid enough to take it on a dare.

"The Scent of Ink" 🔒 (T) by bloodwrites | 587 | Stiles was ten the first time he met Derek Hale. He's almost certain Derek doesn't remember.

"i'm hard up for some time in your sheets" (E) by ToastMaloneIII | 6,640 | Derek coos gently and rubs the cat’s cheek, smiling when he purrs happily. “He plays hard to get but he’s a cuddle fiend. When I get home from work, he’s all over me.” Stiles smiles at the two of them and Derek hums in response, “Oh yeah?”. He takes a sip of his tea, notes how close they are sitting, and stretches his leg closer to Stiles’ as he sets his mug back on the table. He tracks the flick of Stiles’ tongue across his bottom lip with hungry eyes, heat pooling in his belly as desire bleeds into Stiles’ heavy gaze. “In his defense, I would be too.”

"you got a fast car." (T) by paradis | 1,565 | Scott stares, horrified, at where Stiles is drenched in someone else’s blood, and Derek’s hands are covered, and his DNA is all over the body of the clawed up deputy he’d tried to revive. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Stiles says. He’s not shaking or terrified. “You should go,” Derek says, and Stiles blinks. Stares down at himself. Stares back at Derek. “I’m not going anywhere without you,” Stiles says.

"lay your weary head to rest" (M) by Petr1chor | 3,877 | “I know you like being protective of him, Stiles,” Lydia said, her snark sounding sharper than usual, “But he’s the one who is most trained, and most likely to hold his own against her if something goes wrong.” “Stiles, I’m perfectly capable of making my own goddamn decisions,” Derek snapped. “We’re going ahead, everyone get ready, we leave in half an hour.”

"It's Been Four Hundred and Ninety Days" (T) by paradis | 4,486 | It’s been four hundred and ninety days, and it took Derek forever but they’re at day one again.

"Shove" (E) by Qayin | 1,741 | So maybe Derek shoved him around a bit when he saw the kid, so what? That was innocent. Completely innocent. Right until the moment where Derek just couldn’t pretend that it was innocent anymore. Derek liked it.

"All My Kingdoms Turn to Sand" 🔒 (E) by elisera | 6,477 | The real question is what Stiles wants. If he’s looking forward to seeing Derek again because they’ll complete what they started a long time ago or if Stiles is nervous because he’s feeling apprehensive. There’s a real possibility that he told the pack to finally send Derek up in order to tell him thanks, but no thanks. A lot can happen in six years; people change and grow apart and it isn’t like they were allowed to talk.

"take a step before running" 🔒 (M) by magneticwave | 7,314 | Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

"Tiny Houses" (E) by ohmyjetsabel | 77,138 | So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

"Derek Hale's Hidden Talents" (E) by betp | 800 | Stiles and Derek are doing something they should be doing, in a place they shouldn't be doing it in.

"Option C) Some Bad Guys are Werewolves, but Not All Werewolves are Bad Guys" (T) by calrissian18 | 9,039 | Derek Hale—the Incredible Meat that Thinks—needs a math tutor. Stiles Stilinski needs something that will look better on his college applications than 'passable D&D Dungeon Master.' It's a match made in heaven. Er, right?

"Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset" 🔒 (E) by whiskey_in_tea | 18,285 | Stiles leaves Beacon Hills on a Sunday morning. Lydia’s run the numbers and it’s not a sure thing by any stretch of the imagination, but supernatural evil seems mostly inclined to take the Lord’s day to rest just like humans do. He won’t make it back before Monday night but that’s okay, unless whatever comes after them is the actual apocalypse they should be all right— and if it’s the apocalypse his meager skills won’t be of much use anyway.

"the wind beneath my wings" (G) by verity | 1,230 | "Did you check any baggage?" Derek says. "Or is this it?" "You’re—" Stiles squints. "Me?" "Yes," Derek says, not very patiently. Good old Derek.

"Stand Here At The Edge Of Something New" (E) by Chiomi | 3,233 | This is Stiles’ last night of freedom before he’s married to a man he hasn’t seen in over a decade - not even photos, not even Facebook. He intends to make the most of it.

"Not Exactly Comfortable" (T) by entanglednow | 1,227 | "Ok, so this could be worse." Which, on the whole, is probably not the most reassuring thing for Stiles to say right now.

"Negotiation" (T) by entanglednow | 1,158 | Derek's usually really good at shoving him around and making it clear what he wants.

"195% Awake" (E) by accol | 1,316 | "Wait. Was that a zipper?" Derek responded with his usual breathing. Stiles pushed up on his elbows and pressed his phone hard against his ear, straining to hear what was happening on the other end of the line. ”What exactly is this emergency? Are you trapped inside a body bag? A tent? An evil zipper factory?”

"The Scent of an Oncoming Storm" (E) by accol | 13,203 | In the weeks after Derek becomes alpha, he and Stiles form a reluctant team.

"More" 🔒 (M) by coffeeinallcaps | 4,227 | Stiles had never liked Derek. Derek was good-looking, sure; but he was also surly and violent and deceitful and mistrusting and somewhat frightening and a terrible alpha and pretty much impossible to be around. At various points throughout Derek’s snail-paced recovery, Stiles almost considered leaving. But then Derek would do something like make a distressed little noise in his sleep or murmur “Stiles?” again, struggling to blink open his bloodshot eyes, and Stiles would just. Stay.

"Wolf Cub" (E) by moodwriter | 6,946 | A strange wolf is not supposed to touch another pack’s cub and that’s why, on a rescue mission, it’s Stiles’ job to take care of the wolf cub who’s curious about everything and everyone. Stiles is not used to werewolf children, and the pack is not used to Stiles taking care of a child. Their Alpha gets very confused about this, too.

"my heart's been offline" (E) by thepsychicclam | 58,893 | Derek and Stiles meet online, and Stiles has no clue Derek's part of a famous family.

"The Scientific Method" (T) by uraneia | 5,947 | Stiles’s life was so much easier before his BFF got super powers. “But, so, werewolves have super strength, right? And super speed. And better vision, and better muscle control, and healing powers, and stuff. And some of that’s probably, like, genetic, if you can be born a werewolf. Right?” “Yeah,” Scott says. From the perplexed look on his face, he doesn’t yet know where Stiles is going with this. “So?” “So what if you have condom-defeating supersperm?”

"Running Up That Hill" (E) by idyll | 23,575 | In which Derek fights the forces of evil and has no idea how Stiles started working for, or living with, him.

"The Pride of Bastet" (M) by fakinbrilliance | 13k WIP | Stiles is marked by the supernatural, Derek is possessive, and the whole pack is a bundle of feels as they try to work their way through it.

"Tender Offer" (E) by jedusaur | 482 | Derek pops his mouth off Stiles’ dick and says, “I opened a brokerage account.”

"spark like empty lighters" 🔒 (T) by extasiswings for elisela | 2,282 | Derek leaves. Stiles gets possessed. Derek comes back. What that all means...they'll figure it out.

"Falling Up" (E) by PalenDrome | 18,522 | Of all the things Stiles imagined could happen, he never thought he’d end up packless.

"The Nose Knows" 🔒 (E) by WhoopsOK | 5,454 | A spell misfires and Stiles winds up with werewolf powers and finds Derek’s scent… alarmingly appealing.

"Arrows Made of Desire" 🔒 (E) by loserchildhotpants | 6,302 | There's a MOTW, Scott's an idiot and a Bad Friend, Stiles has a magic bat (not a euphemism), and Derek submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known (true, but also a euphemism).

"Red, Red, Red" 🔒 (E) by loserchildhotpants | 9,460 | “Your tattoo.” “What about it?” “Just… it’s weird, I’ve been - uh. You ever, like, dream of something? Something you’ve never seen before, but then you see it out in the world?”

"One Mess at a Time" (E) by Tawryn | 2,807 | When Stiles was first accepted into his apprenticeship, Master Peter had told him he'd be placed into some hard situations. Stiles had taken that at face value. You know, figuratively. Good thing Peter’s cute nephew lives above the apothecary.

"Howlin' For You" (E) by Lenore | 33,050 | A college AU with strippers, crime bosses, and a mystery to solve.

"Never Been" (E) by Lenore | 4,202 | Stiles gets snared in a virgin trap. Derek to the rescue!

"Turn a Little Faster" (T) by skoosiepants | 3,207 | He shifts back and forth on his feet and tries to psych himself up. He can do this. He’s a badass werewolf, he can totally tell Stiles that they accidentally got werewolf married because—because Stiles was thinking about him, and happened to give him a token of his, uh, affection under the silvery light of the last full moon. Platonic affection, Derek thinks sourly, so he doesn’t get why his wolf feels all warm and fuzzy and bonded all of a sudden.

"We've Got Chemistry" (T) by dr_girlfriend | 17,892 | “So…” The man was at the door to a shed now. “The previous owners left everything, so I think there should be everything you need. But let me know if you need me to pick up anything, or if you prefer, you can buy it and I’ll reimburse you…” “Oh!” he said. “Because I’m the pool guy.” And that’s not what he meant to say at all. He meant to say, “You think I’m the pool guy.”

"until we wake" (E) by verity | 2,375 | "It shouldn't have affected Derek," Lydia says over the phone. "But maybe—because of your bond." "What bond," Derek says.

"Mix and Match" 🔒 (E) by Jerakeen | 6,141 | Stiles walks into the Beacon Hills alpha-omega mixer with a smile on his face and three condoms in his wallet.

"The Scent of Mate" (E) by Jerakeen | 1,543 | "You smell like mate."

"I'm tired and I'm wasted, irrational" (E) by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 8,171 | Derek reads the message twice just to be sure that he isn’t dreaming. 'Help,' it reads, 'accidntly kidnpd somr dudew.' He takes a moment to compose his reply. What the hell Laura?

"Fair Game" 🔒 (E) by blacktofade | 6,183 | It's all fun and games until someone has to pee. AKA: the one where Derek meets Stiles in a club and it's going great until Stiles disappears into a bathroom stall and leaves him to fret.

"Edges and Lines" 🔒 (E) by blacktofade | 3,630 | Derek likes Stiles in lingerie and makeup.

"Wild Living series" (E) by orbiting_saturn | 4,999 | Since the whole mess with Gerard, Stiles has been running on a drunk-dizzy burst of fear adrenaline. Like he’s courting death.

"Take Me to the River" (E) by orbiting_saturn | 3,215 | Stiles does that to him sometimes, bowls over everything important with the force of his personality, the mystery of his mind. It used to annoy and confuse Derek, but lately it just fascinates him.

"The Hazards (and Benefits) of Channel-Surfing on Friday Nights" (M) by herbeautifullie | 12,175 | "I totally have a boyfriend, dude. Shows how much you know." How was he supposed to know Scott would doubt him? It's not Stiles' fault that someone named Derek Hale really exists. It's also not his fault when his lie grows legs and runs so far he can't find it until it's too late – too late and standing right in front of him, gorgeous and annoyed and not at all the person Stiles made him up to be. Yeah, this could get bad.

"By and By" (E) by 1001cranes | 35,611 | Sheriff Stiles accidentally adopted a juvenile offender.

"To Blame" 🔒 (T) by blacktofade | 4,473 | Everything always seems to be Derek's fault, even when he's no longer around.

"Tangible Disasters" 🔒 (M) by saintsideways | 6,598 | Derek has spent years deliberately refusing to flinch from fire. He’s not about to break the habit.

"take my heart from me" 🔒 (NR) by Areiton | 23,188 | He didn't really mean to adopt Derek's pack of puppies. He didn't mean to make himself important to them. To Derek. He just wanted to keep them all safe. That's all Stiles ever wanted.

"another name for love" (E) by endversed | 36,910 | Derek is a single parent to a teenager. He's given up on love since losing his daughter's mother. Stiles is an FBI agent in town on the hunt for a feral omega. He might have something to say about Derek's stance on love.

"feels so good inside" (E) by endversed | 11,817 | Stiles receives a dick pic from an unknown number. He decides to grab the opportunity with both hands to do something about his pesky virginity.

"Not Exactly Comfortable" (T) by entanglednow | 1,227 | "Ok, so this could be worse." Which, on the whole, is probably not the most reassuring thing for Stiles to say right now. "Could be worse?" Scott hisses out, where he's scrunched uncomfortably on Stiles's bed. In a way Derek's body probably isn't designed for.

"pretty fragile things" 🔒 (M) by Areiton | 6,474 | Stiles Stilinski likes pretty things. Derek Hale just likes Stiles.

"hold my beer (hold me close)" 🔒 (NR) by Areiton | 3,252 | It was Scotty’s fault. One hundred fucking percent, Stiles thinks, stumbling under the weight of a two hundred pound very drunk alpha. Who, as luck would have it, is a cuddler. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Textual Promise" 🔒 (E) by Areiton | 1,828 | Derek stares at the text for a long time before he goes for a run. Because this? From Stiles? This isn't something they do. He still says 'ok'.

"Large Vanilla Latte" 🔒 (G) by Areiton | 1,466 | The bell over the door clatters a cheerfully annoying welcome, and Stiles smiles as the man he’s going to marry strides up to the counter.

"Good Pup" 🔒 (NR) by Areiton | 1,719 | He isn’t surprised, when he walks into the loft and finds Derek sprawled on the couch, and Stiles tucked into his side, snoring softly, one hand clenched in Derek’s shirt to lodge him there while Derek reads over Stiles’ sleeping head. He looks happy, his eyes soft and body loose in a way that Peter hasn’t seen in years.

"Is This Unwise" 🔒 (T) by Innaz | 17,819 | Derek expects Stiles to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck, but Derek won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Stiles has even turned around. What he doesn’t expect is Stiles to fucking drop.

"Please Have Mercy" 🔒 (E) by Innaz | 3,922 | "I-” Stiles licks his lips, eyes bright and wide with the shock. Balls in his court now. He could refuse, step away from the line they're toeing and laugh it off. But he doesn’t, just like Derek knew he wouldn’t. Because Stiles wants this. They both do, and that’s what makes it so fucking insane.

"The Shore of Dreams" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 2,277 | Derek Hale finds himself helping Stiles Stilinski hide a body.

"Flannel and Brass" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 3,554 | John Stilinski somehow finds himself in the middle of a casual investigation into his son's life. And isn't wholly pleased with what he finds.

"When Nothing Else Works" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 5,915 | Sheriff Stilinski is slowly and begrudgingly accepting the fact that werewolves exist, regular bad things still do happen sometimes, and his son may or may not be dating Derek Hale behind his back.

"Let's Not Talk About It" 🔒 (E) by hannah_baker | 10,147 | “You can’t have a platonic romantic relationship,” Scott said when Stiles had tried to explain what had happened the previous night. “I’m not saying it’s platonic. Obviously making out isn’t platonic. But it’s not like, romantic. I’m not waxing poetic about his gorgeous hazel eyes or how ridiculous his biceps are-” “Really?” Scott asked, interrupting him. “Because it sounds like you are.”

"Kind of a Thing" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 17,707 | “You’re ‘kind of a thing,’” his dad repeated, the quotations clear in his voice. “Well, I’m not sure what 'kind of a thing' means,” he said, getting up, disappearing to the kitchen briefly and returning with a beer, “but it’s 9:45, which means that 'kind of a thing' needs to leave in fifteen minutes.”

"You Are a Sap and I Love You" (E) by accol | 999 | “Here,” Derek said, shoving a large, fabric sack at Stiles like it had a live snake in it. Stiles pulled the drawstring open and looked inside. “Ha ha, very funny. Just because I broke the last one staking that vampire--” “Pull it out,” Derek said. Stiles let the fabric bag fall to the floor. His fingers wrapped around the grip solidly. “Is it safe?” Stiles took a slow swing. The bat felt like it was humming.

"Space Age Crystals" (E) by A Devil Like You | 1,235 | Stiles is just biding his time at a Christian College until his dad stops being mad at him and lets him come home. He didn't expect to catch the eye of Derek Hale, or to become the new subject of his devotion.

"Of Milk and Honey" (E) by A Devil Like You | 2,578 | The scent is everywhere. The gas station. The movie theatre. The grocery store. The top floor balcony of his house—just outside the French doors to Derek’s bedroom. Like warm honey and sweet cream still in its pail. It’s out there somewhere on the vast preserve and it makes his eyes flutter.

"bi awakening au" (E) by endversed | 34,332 | “Fuck that,” Stiles says, dangerously low. “I already did the closeted jock thing in high school. Like fucking hell I’d put myself through that again.” Derek’s breath catches in his chest. Stiles is – he’s incandescent, entirely lit up with rage. “I’m sorry,” Derek begins to say. “Just – don’t bother, all right? I’m not interested in being your first fuck over the rainbow. You wanna hook-up with a guy, see what all the fuss is about? Go to a gay bar and pick up the first twink you see. You won’t find it hard.” “I’m not –“ “Just leave me the fuck out of it.”

"all fucked up" (E) by endversed | 15,414 | Booty calling your ex-boyfriend might be a bad idea, but it's not like Stiles' heart can break any more than it has already, anyway.

"Shifted" (T) by LLAP115, Wolfspurr | 25,074 | Of all the stupid things he’s ever done, Stiles is pretty sure this one takes the record, but it’s like a reflex that he just can’t stop. As soon as he sees the witch turn to face Derek, hand raised in Derek’s direction, he just jumps.

"The Curve of Your Clavicle" (T) by WhoNatural | 6,264 | Derek's office rival might be the same person keeping him sane at night when the loneliness hits.

"Flowerwolf & Beacon Roots" (E) by alisvolatpropiis | 5,299 | Stiles turns away, towards the cooler of roses, muttering to himself under his breath, which of course Derek can hear perfectly well. “Great freakin’ advice, Lydia, ‘just bring up sex and tell him you’re cool with having a one night stand,’ okay, sure, that worked fucking beautifully.” “Okay.” The word is out of his mouth before Derek can even think about the consequences of saying it, something unusual for him. He wants Stiles however he can get him, it seems. “Okay?” Stiles eyes are wide when he spins back to look at him. “Yeah, okay. Let’s have sex.”

"Imaginary L'Oreal Boyfriend" (T) by WhoNatural | 2,753 | Stiles sets the bowl distractedly on the coffee table and mutes the TV. It doesn’t matter, his Imaginary L’Oreal Boyfriend’s commercial is only repeated once an hour, or so he’s noticed. "Who’s Derek?" he asks with genuine confusion. "The commercial guy," Isaac informs, gesturing at the screen like it’s obvious. "Doesn’t shave and looks like he just remembered something upsetting yet important all the time. Derek Hale?"

"The Last Song I'll Write About You" (NR) by WhoNatural | 1,890 | "So his face sells records, is what you’re saying," she says, and yeah, he’s been talking about the jerkwad for most of his lunch break, but that’s no reason for her to get that glint in her eye. “You must think it’s a pretty marketable face, if it can make someone’s debut album go triple-platinum in the span of two months.”

••••••

That is 100.

[xoxomoonlightxoxo]

Somewhere Between Hello and Goodbye | Ch. 3: The Lucky Day

Warning: This chapter contains mentions of an eating disorder and depression, please read with caution as topics may be triggering.

a/n: Alexa, play Daddy's Home <3 Anywho, OC's spiralling summer was inspired by Bella's montage of passing seasons in Twilight ... I'm sorry, but I need to preface that OC will be going through it this whole season, I have already cried thrice. Also, a side question, can you guys actually play the songs I post for these chapters? Meaning, does Tumblr let yall do that or am I trippin? Because I truly think they add a lot to the overall experience. If not, please let me know, then maybe I'll just turn them into a Spotify playlist.

Sleep has become my escape. A temporary withdrawal from reality in which I live to remember everything Jungkook has forgotten. Sleeping through each passing day, I know that at least in my dreams we are still together. In my dreams, I will always find my way back to you, Koo. Even if you don’t remember it, the moon knows that we were once in love. It hears my helpless cries at night and feels every atom of my being that misses you, fearing the idea of us becoming strangers once again. 

It’s as if my happiness was erased with his departure. Holding my hand through each step of the way, he showed me the beauty in life and ended up being the one to take it all away when my fearing heart failed to reciprocate the painfully obvious love tethered between us. Now, my life is dull and pointless. How can I love someone else when every night I dream of you, Koo?

Swallowing pills to mute the sound of my heart beating for his barest touch, I’ve become lost in my own mind, haunted by everlasting thoughts. Although I thought I would be able to at least pretend to be happy for the sake of my family, it’s all become too much. Thus, it was only a matter of days, before my deteriorating behaviour sparked concern in my parents, fueling tension in the air we shared. It all started with fatigue, which then transformed into chronic sleep and in the end began to affect my eating habits. Feeling nauseous from the mere thought of food, I’ve grown to dissociate myself from it. I was hungry, but I couldn’t eat. And, as my hope slowly diminished, so did the number on the scale. 

“Mira, you have to eat,” my mom’s voice echoes in my ear as my eyes fixate on the plate of steamed broccoli in front of me. 

“I’m not hungry, I told you,” I sigh, swallowing down the lie with some water. 

“Mira, honey, please talk to us. What’s wrong?” my dad asks softly, placing his hand on top of mine. Hearing the trembles in his words, my eyes swell with tears before I shake myself out of it.

“I’m fine … just feeling a bit under the weather,”

“The sun has been at its highest peak this whole time, what’s seasonal about this?” my mom tries to remain composed as she shifts her chair closer to mine. 

“Talk to me, honey. What’s gotten into you? You were so excited to come back,” her hands caress my tangled hair as I nibble on the dead skin on my lip. 

“Mira, you’ve been silent since you came, and now you won’t even eat. Your mom and I can’t bear to see you like this,” 

“Come back home, Miraya. We can find another university here,”

“No. It’s not that. I’m fine, I swear. I just … I just need this break to end already, so I can focus on my studies again. That’ll keep my mind occupied,” I whisper softly, attempting to fake a smile as my empty gaze searches their scattering eyes. Recently, that's how most of our conversations ended. With helpless promises feeding my delusions. However, with each passing day, I come to realise that promises are nothing more than sweet lies. If it weren’t true, I wouldn’t have to find excuses for the aching feeling in my heart, but rather, melt in the overflowing passion of Jungkook’s burning love. 

Excusing myself, I throw away the cold plate of food and head back to my room, one which was once filled with laughter and a carefree sense of ambition. The same walls that watched me cry out of happiness upon receiving my acceptance letter just a few months ago are the ones that now echo my pathetic cries for help. Every inch of this room has become cold and numb, and I’m afraid that there is no more warmth in me that could fix this. 

Crouched in a fetal position as my body shivers under the floral duvet my mom gifted me as a welcome present, I dial Jimin’s phone number. It has been weeks since he moved back to Busan, but I have yet to receive any updates from him about Jungkook. In hindsight, maybe, it’s for the best, but if silence is the thing that'll save me then why do I still hold onto the smallest glimpse of hope for us? Even if it means walking across a minefield of rejected possibilities that would ultimately send me into a never-ending spiral, why do I still care?

“How is he?” I ask with hesitation. 

“Different. He’s different.” Jimin replies softly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, he seems distant. Which is fair, I guess. But, he doesn’t quite seem to remember me,” 

“At all?” my voice shakes as I choke up. 

“Well no, he is still able to recover our memories from when we were kids, but recent events are very blurry,” Jimin goes on. 

I, was recent to Jungkook. We, were recent to him. Four months, that's how long I've known Koo, but I’ve been missing him for the last seven. Each day I daydream, reminiscing our memories, feeling the void in my heart knowing that I’ve been without him longer than I’ve been with him. Maybe, Mrs. Jeon was right. I would be lying if I said that a little part of me didn’t think that the reason for her ultimatum was purely based on a simple dislike of me. You know? Like, she didn’t see me as a good match for her son? Because, even then, her disapproval of my character would have been an easier pill to swallow than knowing that now, in Koo’s empty eyes, I’m no longer his Peaches, but a stranger. God, it hurts to even say it out loud let alone accept it. I can’t accept it, but I have to now, don’t I?

“Please take care of him for me Jiminah,” I manage to let out, wiping the tears rolling down my face. 

“I will Mira, don’t worry. I’ll see you soon, okay?” 

“See you,” I end the call, throwing my phone across the bed, my puffy eyes irritated by the brightness. 

That night was especially hard. Although my body was desperately wanting to succumb to the exhaustion, my mind wouldn't shut up. It kept replaying our memories, reminding me of the things I should have said. The words Koo never heard, but deserved to.

--

Hugging my mom, her trembling hands tighten their hold on my sweater as I take in the smell of her perfume for the last time. I missed her a lot, and the guilt of putting my parents through that torture has been eating me alive this whole summer. All they wanted was to see their daughter smile and I failed to fulfill even the simplest of their wishes. If only they knew how much I wanted to smile again. 

“Mira, I’m telling you again, we can find another university here,” my mom says with teary eyes. 

“Just say yes, and we’ll deal with all the transfer stuff, honey,” my dad joins, caressing my palms, as I let out a soft chuckle before shaking my head no. 

“That’s not fair. You guys didn’t raise a quitter,” I manage to let out, feeling my throat tighten from the build-up of emotions. 

“You’re right, we didn’t. But, even the strongest soldier needs a shoulder to cry on. Remember that we are and always will be by your side, Miraya,”

“Call us as soon as you land, love,” 

Passing through the airport security, I wave to my family my last goodbyes before heading to my gate. Am I excited to come back to Seoul? I don’t really have a choice, do I? That God-awful Nursing degree won’t finish itself, so yeah, I kind of have to go back. But, I know that school isn’t the only thing pulling me back. I know I can’t, but I still wish to see Jungkook, even from afar, it doesn’t matter. All I want now is to know that he is doing well.  

I’m not sure how, but as soon as my head rested against the seat my body shut down, falling into a much-needed sleep. I probably would have slept through the whole 12-hour flight if it weren’t for the bright beams of sunlight penetrating through my heavy eyelids. Taking a glimpse out the airplane window, I no longer saw snowy mountains but rather blossoming fields of greenery scattered within the busy cities of Korea. And, as the captain went through his ending speech, a flood of international students lined up near the exit, eager to get back into their previously established routine. It’s funny because I was sitting next to one of my cohort members from last semester, but we were both too tired to even realise. 

Nonetheless, putting my passport and ticket back into my carry on, I rolled my luggage down the escalator before a familiar voice called out my name. Searching the crowd of strangers filled with overwhelmed emotions, my eyes stop at a particular boxy smile. 

“Long time no see, Flip-flops!” Tae shouted across the hall, before waving me down to where he was standing with Jiah and Jimin who were just as excited about my arrival. Feeling my eyes swell with tears, I couldn’t help but laugh at his cute, little dance as he pulled me into a warm hug. 

“Tae, I’m certain you just don’t know my actual name,” I say with a grin, looking up at his sparkling eyes. 

“Of course, I do MJ,” he grins, rubbing the top of my head. Ha ha ha, isn’t he just a comedian? For context, my government name is Mira Jean … hence, the birth of MJ. 

“That’s enough, let us hug her too,” Jiah chuckles, opening her arms as my body virtually melts into her embrace. With tears rolling down our faces, her grip tightens around my form as she lets out a sudden gasp. 

“Mira! My goodness, why are you so small?” she asks with a concerned tone, her wide eyes scanning my body. Although, I always managed to maintain my normal weight, I guess, not eating properly for 3 months left its mark on the way I looked. As the numbers on the scale decreased, I became more and more fixated on the protrusion of my bones. I hated the feeling, but, I also couldn’t stop. Because I couldn’t get myself to eat, I relied on baggy clothes to create an illusion that would satisfy people’s perception of me. Unfortunately, I failed to fool Jiah as she saw right through the act. 

“I just stopped eating so much junk food, I’m fine. Trust me, this is a good thing Jiah, now I can finally fit into my favourite pair of jeans,” I try to laugh the pain away, caressing her hands as her furrowed eyebrows slowly release their tension. She isn’t convinced but also, doesn’t want to create a scene in public. I know that follow-up questions will be brought up along the way, but for now, my attention is focused on looking for someone who I know isn’t there. It’s silly, but before spotting Tae, a little part of me hoped to see Jungkook. To witness his sparkling doe eyes and bunny teeth, once again, like the good old times.  

“Okay, it’s settled, we are all going to my favourite Korean BBQ place,” Jimin exclaims, giving me a quick wink before grabbing both of the luggage out of my hands, and handing one to Tae. And, as Jiah intertwines her hands with mine, we exchange soft smiles exiting the airport as my skin finally feels the fresh, humid air of Seoul. Stopping mid-walk, I let out a deep sigh of relief. I hated every second of my summer, it was nothing short of pure torture but, at least, it too passed. 

“You’re good?” Tae whispers, softened gaze focused on my flushed cheeks. 

“Yeah,” I say softly, taking another deep breath as his arm caresses my shoulder. 

“He’s fine, Mira,” his words pierce through my ears as I unconsciously shoot him an alarming look. 

“You’ve heard from him?” I rush my words, anticipating his answer as my chest heaves up. 

“No, but I can feel your pain,” his tone is quieter now, eyes still searching mine. 

“I’m fine, Tae,” I mumble under my breath, lowering my head in fear of breaking down in front of them. 

“Just know that I’m always here for you, okay?” he says, pressing a soft kiss on my head before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. If only he could hear the way I’m screaming inside. The way I’m calling out for help. For someone to find hope in my hopeless state of mind. If only he knew how much I miss Jungkook. 

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Following the tradition, I will be hosting my annual house party before school beats all of our asses,” Jimin chuckles, caressing Jiah’s hand as their eyes focus on each other. Forcing down some dumpling soup into my system, I feel nauseous, but can’t risk growing Jiah's suspicion more, so I attempt to eat as little as possible without her noticing. 

“So, Mira, please come. Jungkook will be there as well,” Jimin continues with a soft smile which slowly fades upon noticing my gaze drop. Letting go of my spoon, my fingernails dig into my cold palms, as I’m back at square one. How am I supposed to face him when I can’t even handle the mere mention of his name? It’s not fair. None of them know about Mrs. Jeon’s ultimatum, and I fear that I can’t just simply tell them. So, I gulp down the pain and manage to put on another act, one that I seem to have mastered over the summer. 

“Mira, you’re okay?” Jiah asks, gently rubbing my forearm. 

“Yeah, sorry, I’m a bit jet-lagged. Sure, of course, I’ll come,” I reply with a reassuring smile, before looking at Tae. I recognize the sadness in his eyes because I see it in my own every passing minute. But, I can’t let him in. I can’t betray Mrs. Jeon’s trust, again. Even if it means that I have to betray my own heart.

--

We’ve been walking around the mall for probably 3 hours now and Jiah has yet to find something with that wow factor, meanwhile, I have already found 4 of the nearest exits. The party is set for tonight, and although I have already agreed to come, I can’t get myself to actually face the consequences. I can’t go, what was I thinking. What? Did I think everything was going to be fine once Jungkook saw me? Mira, he doesn’t remember you. 

“Jiah, you know, I really don’t think I should go tonight?” I say, slowly walking in circles as she eyes another mini dress. 

“What? Why?” she stutters, going through racks of possible options. 

“I’m just not feeling well,” I lie, fiddling with my fingers to calm down the nerves. 

“Mira, is something wrong?” Jiah stops what she’s doing before walking closer to my anxious self. 

“I’m fine, really,” I lie again. 

“You don’t look fine. You barely eat, barely sleep, barely talk to me,” she exclaims with a  tone firmer than before. 

“Then stop looking. Please, can everyone just leave me alone? I’m just tired, okay?” I burst, feeling everyone’s eyes on my distressed self. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. What do you need?” she says gently, reaching out her hands.  

“I just need space,” I whisper, crossing my arms in front of my burning chest. 

“Fine, I’ll give you some space. Please call me when you’re ready,” Jiah’s words cut deep as she walked out of the store, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The ones I’ve been trying to run away from this whole time. I can’t even get mad at her. She is only trying to help, but how can she when I keep shutting everyone out? It’s all my fault, I know. I just hope that this isn’t how it ends. I hope I don’t push everyone away, and someone sees right through the mask I put on. Because I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to.

Locking the door behind me I plop onto my bed before finally resting my heavy eyes. And, within minutes, I’m passed out again. I think, I've grown to become eternally tired, no matter how much I sleep, there is just no end to this fatigue. Moving restlessly, I pull the white cover over my shivering body before hearing my phone ring. 

“Ugh, what is it now?” I grunt, squinting from the screen brightness as a small gasp escapes my parted lips. It was 8 pm already. How is that possible? I swear, I just laid my head. But, no, apparently I’ve been asleep for the last 5 hours. 

“Hello?” I manage to let out. 

“Flip-flops? Where are you?” Tae screams through the loud music in the background. 

“Tae, I’m home. What happened?” 

“Mira hurry, Jiah is drunk. You need to come pick her up,” he exclaims with panic in his voice. 

“What? Where’s Jimin? Can he not drive her?” I stutter, lifting myself off of the bed before putting my hoodie back on. 

“You want him to drive under the influence? Of course, he is drunk too,” 

“Well, why can’t you drive them?” I whine, almost pleading. 

“Who said I wasn’t drunk either?” he chuckles, sending me a flying kiss through the phone. 

“Fine, I’ll be there in a bit. Keep an eye on Jiah,” I sigh before grabbing my keys and ID. 

Thankfully, Jimin’s place wasn’t that far from our dormitory so, the ride there was only 10-ish minutes. Nonetheless, I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. And, as the driver finally pulled up to the apartment complex I practically ran inside. Following the sound of loud music, I made my way through the crowd of people who clearly had a little too much fun, as the alcohol in their system could be detected from the next block. 

“Flip-flops!” Tae exclaimed with a big grin. Stopping in my tracks, my eyes diverted to Jiah, who was standing beside him with absolutely no sign of a hangover. In fact, she looked better than ever in her new mini-dress. 

“What? You lied?” I snap, eyebrows furrowing more and more with each step I take towards them. 

“How else was I supposed to get you to come?” Tae chuckles, trying to rub my head before I push his hand away. 

“Get off me,” my tone is harsh as I lower my piercing gaze, shaking my head in disbelief. 

“Oh! Mira, there you are,” I could hear Jimin’s voice getting closer before turning my flushed face. And with that, it felt like time stopped altogether. There was nothing and no one in the room except for him and I. Koo and I. Feeling my gaze soften, I choke up from the rush of emotions in my throat. 

“Hi, I’m Jungkook. It’s nice to meet you,” he says with a warm smile, reaching out his hand as if meeting me for the first time. Before replying, I take a moment to analyze his face. The one I dreamed about every night and the one that caused me so much pain. He looks the same, except, his eyes no longer sparkle like they used to. I guess, we got that in common. 

“Hi …I’m Mira,” I let out a soft smile, before reaching out my own hand. 

“Yah, Kook, you already know her, you guys were best friends,” Jimin chuckles, patting Jungkook’s back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, please forgive me. I'm still trying to piece everything back together,” Koo says, covering his mouth before shutting his eyes from embarrassment. 

Feeling my throat tighten, I quickly excuse myself, before rushing out of the packed room towards the nearest fire escape. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but why does it feel like I’m going to pass out? It’s as if all the air was knocked out of my lungs. Feeling lightheaded I hold onto the railing and close my eyes for a moment. I can’t believe it. Koo, I saw you but you didn’t see me. You saw a stranger. And, suddenly, there I was, alone again, realizing that everything I feared had come true.

Regaining my composure, I decide to walk back to the party before my eyes are met with his. 

“Not a party animal, huh?” Jungkook grins, stopping in his tracks as his arm leans against the wall. 

“It’s my day off,” I let out a small chuckle, unable to keep his eye contact. 

“So … we were best friends?” he asks softly, hands fidgeting with the chains on his belt. 

“Yeah …” I nod slightly, nibbling on my lips. 

“It’s funny because I don’t remember anything from last year. I could barely recognize my own dad for a while. Jimin helped me a lot, he basically recalled sparknotes of my past for me,” he laughs. Oh, how I missed his laugh.  

“You really don’t remember anything?” I finally look up, searching his scattering eyes. 

“No, not one bit,” his muffled words are interrupted by the growling sound coming from my stomach, as I let out an awkward smile. 

“Oh, are you hungry?” he grins, bunny teeth on full display, as my gaze softens again. 

“No, no, no, I’m fine. I think I’m gonna head home now,” I shake my hands, zipping my hoodie before attempting to walk past him. 

“No, it’s fine, I’ll drive. I’m starving as well,” Jungkook assures, gently pulling onto the fabric as my heart sinks to my feet.

I knew I shouldn’t, but I agreed. I couldn’t say no to Koo. Not, after all the sleepless nights I’ve spent missing his mere presence. And, as we entered the nearest restaurant, everything felt real. He felt real. Even if he couldn’t feel it, my heart was beating for the both of us. For our first hellos, last goodbyes and everything in between. Just for tonight, I wanted to pretend like nothing happened. 

“Oh, look, Mira, they have a special deal on shrimp dumplings, do you like them?” his voice, brings me back to reality as I mute the thoughts running through my head. 

“Yeah, my mom made them for me all the time when I was little,” I smile. 

“Then, I guess it’s your lucky day,” he chuckles with a satisfied grin, before calling one of the waiters. 

“I guess, it is,” I say softly, feeling my throat tighten as I struggle to swallow the lie. Searching his naive eyes my own swell with tears while my body shifts restlessly in the seat. Desperately wanting to cave into the emotions, my mind is haunted by the thoughts of Mrs. Jeon’s letter. And, as I close my eyes for a moment, all I can see are the painful reminders of our enforced distance. Don’t call … Don’t write … Don’t interact. Yet, here we are, here you are, Koo. Live in the flesh, separated by a table and the forgotten story of our past. So close, yet so far that it physically hurts. To him, I’m just another piece of the puzzle that would fill the void in his memories. But, to me, he is the only piece that could make me whole again. 

Previous l Index l Next

[gainprincess]

Hmmmm, how long has it been since Musashi emptied her boobs?

Does Summer Musashi help her or does she need to empty hers out as well?

"W-Well...Ahh...that's not super important, r-right?"

Saber Musashi attempts to cover her chest with her pudgy, fat-swollen arms, despite the fact that she is most definitely far too busty for that, shyly giggling. The truest testament possible to the wandering swordswoman's greed, her obscenely obese melons are likely twice the size of her head, rest atop her swollen, wobbling gut full of chili and hotdogs, and wobble as if they've just been smacked with the most violent amount of force possible for someone Musashi's size, despite not being touched at all.

Even if they didn't, the flustered samurai's udders, sloshing and slorshing so loud that one could hear them in a mosh pit, give away the fact that she's been backed up for far too long, and that the rivulets of liquid trailing down her top, dark and thick, are most definitely the result of Musashi's rich tittymilk.

"I-I might need a little help..."

"Well, I'd be happy to help you out, Saber! That's the best part of there being two of us, yeah? We won't have to worry about this getting out and making us all embarrassed!~"

Berserker slowly waddles over, carrying a pair of large buckets in her tubby hands. She's equally as busty as her Saber self, and just as obese, which you'd think would be fairly obvious. After all, no matter what kind of class she is, Miyamoto Musashi is practically made to be a gluttonous cow of a woman that stuffs herself ever-so-relentlessly...

As she draws close to her backed-up self, who's gotten onto her knees and hands at this point, belly pooling across the ground and udders nearly mashing against it as well...Saber realizes something.

"Hey, waaaaiiitt...You're not sloshing! Don't tell me you...!"

"Ehehe...yep! My super-cute girlfriend totally helped me out by milking me before I came here!~ She's got suuuch nice hands, and she's really thirsty all the time, so I'm drained out entirely twice a week, and she milks me once a day!~"

As she gets down into a similar sort of position, balancing herself on her gut instead of her hands and knees, and hefts one of Sabersashi's milkers into one of the industrial-grade buckets (made for holding mass quantities of tar and crude oil), the robe-wearing Servant grumbles, moving her top aside so the rest of her strained, swollen boobflesh floooppppsss on out.

"That's so not fair...I want a super cute guy or girl that'll milk me too! How come you got a girlfriend before I got someone?! You're, like, an offshoot of me!"

As Berserker sinks her fatty fingers into Saber's left udder, squeezing gently as she massages the swollen, needy breast, the OG Musashi moans, bucking her hips in an attempt to help coax some of the thick boob-cream from her breasts.

A slow, but constant, flood of white liquid starts leaking from Musashi's heavy left tit, draining right into the massive bucket beneath her. It smells sweet and fattening as it hits the bottom of the container, and Berserker's almost tempted to get a taste, but holds off as she continues the dutiful massaging.

"I'm sure you'll definitely find someone, me! I mean, you're a total catch, and with boobies like ours, there's no way someone doesn't wanna wife you up already! I mean, I met my girlfriend randomly in the hall one day, and we just kept spiraling after all that!"

"W-Well, I mean, your girlfriend's pretty special or something, yeah? I dunno if anyone's trippin' over themselves to date me, but I appreciate the thought!"

"She's totally the best, you mean! The most totally epic Summer Berserker ever (besides me)! But I wouldn't count yourself out just yet!"

She gives an especially rough yank after her words, causing Saber to moan out again as the obese cow's breast starts flooding milk into the bucket at high speed.

"I bet there's someone waiting just out of your line of vision, waiting to hang out and fall in love with you!"

The two continue their milking, the sounds of groaning and chatting and mooing echoing through Sabersashi's bathroom for the next few hours as the delicate and deliberate progress continues.

This is fun. They're having fun.

[johnstone111]

RESET

Hit me up I need a reset people calling me kid like it's gonna make me regress into somethin that I ain't got no complaints but I'm trippin over mushrooms on my bath mat gotta clean that but now I'm dancing alone feels like I'm in the zone putting everything on blast it's not personal just comedy come and see me on the internet never had any regrets well maybe just one yeah I was a bum for a while but kept my styles like who's line is it anyway FUCK ITS MINE! Express yourself yeah find your bliss don't slit your wrists we got a lot to give I'm spiraling everything's commin up circles I'm in the circus like a ringmaster and I'm gonna cast a spell over all these kids man raise your hands and go fuck yourself I'm getting sick and tired of being someone else let me explain I can see your brain through your skull it's disgusting but I must see something in you cause I'm coming back for more. You keeping score? I hit the floor with the back of my head, hand me my meds so I don't burn this all down I'm not scared of clowns I've got a knife get a life and stop wasting mine you're scraping by I'm floating high as fuck not sure where this is going but I'm enjoying this beat so stomp your feet like it's Marching band

[petite-girl1-blog]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Colour Pop Cosmetics Aurora Struck NWT.

[hxzelwallflower]

I BELIEVE YOU’VE JOURNEYED FAR ENOUGH DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE, “ALICE”. TIME FOR YOU TO RETURN TO REALITY.

The Dealmakers that are affixed to your face suddenly blare with static, a static that persists even when you close your eyes. You’re swept up in some nonexistent digital wind, pulled up and up and into the sky before-

You touch ground. Ground that seems just a little bit more familiar and worn than the one from the past. The shades come off without a second thought. You’re back in the present, back in Castle Town. But it’s not Spaul that greets you when you come to.

*Eileen?! You just-Are you alright?! It’s me, Navy! Are you okay?

You blink, and standing in front of you is a concerned Blue Addison wearing a pink scarf and seemingly on his way home…or to somewhere else while on his way home. It’s one of his Addisons.

@thebigshotman

@thebigshotman asked: *.。Strange, in your perfect world.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

A steady rhythm pounding against her ribcage . Against better judgement she chose to flee than wait for his return , her presence having already disturbed the timeline in more ways than one . While many went about exploring the salesfloor some were mumbling about their encounter , curious how a Lightner knew so much yet so little about him .

No doubt word of this would get back to higher ups , however results would be lost among coding , for the moment she stepped out her vision was assaulted by the same , violent static which hindered Eileen's focus . No sooner had both hands reached to cup her face that she began to spiral , reality splitting at the stems , a soundless cry following that wayward tumble with several voices among the ear piercing hum .

Like before , the impact left her with a throbbing headache . Not only had she north of Castletown ; but landed hard enough to shatter the lens . Luckily gravity allowed them to slip completely off her bridge before hitting the pavement . Alas , it didn't prevent her from hurt .

- 15 HP

Yeah , she's gonna feel that later . With bits of code and shattered glass surrounding her disheveled locks parted around her face , Weary umbers adjusting to Navy's worried demeanor as she regained balance , wings slightly outstretched .

❝ Navy─ ?? ❞

The name was parroted in minor confusion , still dealing with the aftereffects of static . No wonder Spaul's mentally exhausted . Shaking the remainder of code from her vision she huffs , taking a moment to collect herself before speaking again .

❝ I- I'm- no . No tell me what year it is first , then I'll answer . A-Am I still trippin' or- ❞

[rainsmediaradio]

Drake Ft. SZA - Slime You Out Lyrics

Drake Ft. SZA - Slime You Out Lyrics Intro: Drake I don't know I don't know what's wrong with you girls I feel like y'all don't need love, you need somebody who could micromanage you You know what I'm sayin'? Tell you right from wrong Who's smart from who's the fool Which utensil to use for which food, like I got a schedule to attend to, though I can't relate (6ix) Verse 1: Drake You bitches really get carried away Makin' mistakes, then you beg me to stay Got me wiggin' on you like I'm Arrogant Tae You got my mind in a terrible place Whipped and chained you like American slaves Act like you not used to Sheraton stays I met the nigga you thought could replace How were there even comparisons made? Bitch, next time, I swear on my grandmother grave I'm slimin' you for them kid choices you made Refrain: Drake Slimin' you out, slimin' you out, slimin' you out You might also like IDGAF Drake Balut Doja Cat ​greedy Tate McRae Verse 2: Drake Ayy, this ain't the littest I could get on you bitches Send wires on wires on wires like Idris You lucky that I don't take back what was given I could have you on payment plan 'til you're hundred and fifty And my slime right here, she got some bars for y'all niggas So I'ma fall back and let SZA talk her shit for a minute Refrain: Drake Slimin' you out, slimin' you out, slime Verse 3: SZA Damn, these niggas got me so twisted How the fuck you so real, but play bitch on my line? I can feel what you're spinnin' Got too much pride to let no burnt nigga slime me out Pull up, go write about My night, got time, let's discuss all those lies about Frontin' out here like you diggin' me out And I ain't even cummin', I'm in and out And you ain't 'bout the shit you rappin' about And I can spin a ho, I'm airin' it out I'm goin' off like a sawed-off You tell these hoes you ain't cuddlin' But with me, you know you doin' all that shit You tellin' these hoes you ain't trickin' off But with me, you know I'm gon' get it all How you niggas get so carried away? Trippin' when that dick is barely third place Fucked out of pity, it's cute that you lame Dip 'cause it's mid, I can't fake like it's hangin' Refrain: SZA Slimin' you out, I'm slimin' you out, I'm slimin' you out Oh-woah, woah Verse 4: Drake Yeah January, you pretend to see life clearly, yearly February is the time that you put the evil eye and the pride aside For the fantasy of gettin' married, very scary March got you already second guessin' titles April, spring is here and just like a spring, you start to spiral May brings some warmer days, poolside, gettin' very tan June have you movin' ice cold, goin' back and forth with a married man July, that's when I found out you lied August, it was "baby" this, "baby" that like you had your tubes tied September, we fallin' off, but I'm still the man you tryna win over October is all about me 'cause your turn should've been over November got you moodboardin' for next year and you're single December the gift-givin' month and now you wanna rekindle our year Tryna build trust, showin' me your DMs, how they tryna bag you Ironic how the news I got about you ended up bein' bad news Get a nigga hit for fifty racks, girl, the beef cost like it's wagyu Get a nigga hit, I'll make his ass see the light like a half-moon Shout to QC, pretty sure I made Pee M's like it's past noon All I really know is W's and M's, life lookin' like a bathroom All I really know is M bags like I drove through and ordered fast food Sayin' that I'm too guarded with my feelings, who the fuck even asked you? Seven bodyguards just in case somebody really wanna try and crash through Don't know why I listen to you when I hear you talkin' to me, it's some half-truths If I don't pay your rent, it end up like an old hairstyle, girl, it's past due If I don't— Outro: Drake Ah-ah-ah, that's as far as I got Read the full article

[waterbendingwaves]

not like anyone will relate or read so anyways

although i haven’t read jennette’s book im feeling the part of jealousy and until i heal/go through enough therapy i will forever understand (not that i wont again) the jealousy part of her book cause i will forever feel like that. yes i get it and i do have my times of feeling confidents and moments of feeling like the baddest bitch ever but when you’re surrounded by people who you feel are against you and going after people who you’re maybe hyper-fixated on or just feel some type of way and deal with them like its not an issue is infuriating . i hate life and i hate that im being punished in this way and constantly going down a cycle of self spiral (depressive episode) because i feel so unseen and rejected. im very much into astrology but at the moment im tryna step away from it because i feel like i keep using it to make sense of the world and (not that its not ok) but to me i shouldn’t be doing that cause it should be just fun and games. im completely trippin and stumblin and im fucking over of feeling used and tryna make sense of it but im also tired of being mugged off by the world. no one fucking understands living in a cycle of self sabotage and disgustingly low self esteem your entire life where you start to question if life is the way it is because you refuse to actively do anything about it but people don’t know how hard it is to even try to think positively about yourself. how you put up such a “mean” hard exterior just to prevent yourself from falling in the trap of vulnerability and comfortability that (to you) will be compromised. it genuinely feels like i’ll never genuinely trust anyone and the reason i prefer to be alone is because who can bother me/judge me when im alone? only god and i’ll happily answer for the crimes i was sentenced to.

sorry this was all over the place

[electronicadaily]

Paradise 3001 - Spiral Trippin [1993]

A great piece of early trance from Dutch artist Aad De Mooy, who has many many other aliases. This track is the title track from his 1993 album Spiral Trippin, which I highly recommend for anyone who’s into their early psychedelic electronica.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-T9l6YxZK0

(alt. link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0sSwnEKlX4)

[theredredkrovvy]

[too-cool-for-facebook]

Here, kids, take a trip

[bunnyallura]

My mind is spiraling 💗

[wqbytop100]

WQBY

Top100 for the week ending August 4, 2024

Disconnect--Becky Hill -6 --12weeks-- (1week@#1)

Heat --Tove Lo, SG Lewis -4 --5weeks--

Take Me To The Beach --Imagine Dragons -22 --5weeks--

Naked & Alive --Milky Chance -1 --10weeks-- (2weeks@#1)

End Of Time --Lucas & Steve, LAWRENT f/Jordan Shaw -2 --14weeks-- (8weeks@#1)

Dance Through The Night --Gryffin, Whetham, Norma Jean Martine -12 --4weeks--

Tease Me --Nicky Your -5 --6weeks-- (#2)

Shallow Water --Elderbrook -11 --8weeks--

One, Two & 3 --Galantis -7 --18weeks-- (#2)

Larger Than Life --Armin Van Buuren, ChefSpecial -8 --8weeks-- (#5)

Outside Of Love --Becky Hill -3 --18weeks-- (#2)

Summer's Back --Alok, Jess Glynne -24 --7weeks--

Heaven Or Not --Diplo, Riva Starr, Kareem Lomax -9 --17weeks-- (#3)

Midnight Ride --Orville Peck, Kylie Minogue, Diplo -13 --8weeks-- (#3)

Whatever --Kygo f/Ava Max -15 --8weeks-- (#7)

Music Is Better --RUFUS DU SOL -10 --6weeks-- (#10)

Brad Pitt --COIN -17 --6weeks

Joyride --Ke$ha -23 --4weeks--

Give Me Your Love --Benny Benassi, Nu-La -25 --4weeks--

I Had Some Help --Post Malone, Morgan Wallen -14 --12weeks-- (#2)

***I Adore You --HUGEL, Topic, Arash, Daecolm -(new) --1week--

Lost In Space --Foster the People -16 --7weeks-- (#16)

Hero --Vintage Culture, Emery Taylor -18 ---10weeks-- (#10)

Unsure --Alan Walker, Kylie Cantrail -21 --7weeks-- (#15)

I Go Dance --Kiesza -20 --9weeks-- (#13)

Lighter --Galantis, David Guetta, 5 Seconds of Summer -27 --25weeks-- (2weeks@#1)

Role Model --Fat Boy Slim, Dan Diamond, Luca Guerrieri -18 --11weeks-- (#10)

Some Like It Hot --VASSY, Saint Rock -35 --3weeks--

Shallow Water --Elderbrook (Club Mix) -37 --3weeks--

Buscando Money --TWENTY SIX, Tayson Kryss -26 --15weeks-- (#3)

Hell Together --David Archuleta -30 --18weeks-- (#10)

Love & Pain --Enrique Iglesias -28 --11weeks-- (#3)

Wake Up --Imagine Dragons -33 --5weeks--

Bittersweet --LP Globbi. Portugal, The Man -34 --4weeks--

It's Love (Trippin') --Kolsch, Goldtrix, Andrea Brown -38 --8weeks-

LA --Northeast Party House -29 --11weeks-- (#3)

Underwater --DubVision, Afrojack -31 --23weeks-- (#11)

Multiply --Becky Hill -32 --9weeks-- (#9)

Freefalling --Gem & Tauri, Eyes Everywhere, Sarah de Warren -48 --3weeks--

Your Shine --BAKERMAT, Fly Disco Butter -40 --5weeks--

Looking For Joy --Kaleena Zanders -41 --5weeks--

Perpetual Motion --Phantoms -42 --7weeks--

Out Of Time --ZEDD, Bea Miller -43 --5weeks--

Breathe You In --Gorgon City, NORTH -44 --5weeks--

Barcelona --Alan Walker, Ina Wroldsen -45 --7weeks--

Stumblin' In --CYRIL -46 --6weeks--

A Tear In Space --Glass Animals -47 --8weeks--

Lover's In A Past Life --Calvin Harris, Rag'N'Bone Man -36 --15weeks-- (#10)

Can't Slow Down --Almost Monday -39 --9weeks-- (#39)

A Bar Song (Tipsy) --Shaboozey, David Guetta -67 --6weeks--

Under The Sun --Ella Henderson, Switch Disco, ALOK -65 --6weeks--

Upstate Miracle --Gilligan Moss -95 --2weeks--

***I Like It --Alesso, Nate Smith -(new) --1weeks--

My Fault --Shaboozey, Noah Cyrus -54 --8weeks--

I Believe --Bassjackers, WUKONG, D Jayne -56 --11weeks--

Whateva --Kyle Walker -55 --8weeks-- (#56)

White Claw --Yung Gravy, Shania Twain -57 --5weeks--

Ten (Get Back Up) --Nathan Dawe, MNEK -58 --5weeks--

Paradise --Madison Rose -59 --9weeks--

Where Are You Tonight --KREAM -60 --4weeks--

Me Before You --Kygo, Piested -61 --4weeks--

Pretty Low --Dillon Francis, Galantis, Arden James -62 -6weeks-

Water --The Floorplan -63 --6weeks--

Gravity --Frank Walker, Tyler Shaw -64 --8weeks-- (#43)

Just A Dance --Alfie Templeman, Nile Rodgers -66 --5weeks-

I Can't --Reba McEntire (Dave Aude Remix) -72 --2weeks-

Eyes Closed --Imagine Dragons -49 --15weeks- (#6)

Sleep Tonight (This Is The Life) --Switch Disco, R3HAB, Sam Feldt -51 --21weeks- (#3)

Fallin Luv --Gordo, Jeria -53 --15weeks- (#8)

Leave With My Love --Ayokay -73 --3weeks-

***Find A Way --Faithless, Suli Breaks -(new) --1week-

Spiral --Sofi Tukker -78 --4weeks-

Endless Night --Matea -77 --6weeks-

Without You --Kygo f/HAYLA -79 --6weeks-

It's That Time --Marioun Hoffstadt (Fisher Remix) -81 --4weeks-

Cut --Marin Morris, Julia Michaels -82 --5weeks-

No Matter What --TELYKAST, Oaks -99 --2weeks-

Don't Stop The Music --Dimitri Vegas, Vin Zion -98 --2weeks-

Morning --Cheat Codes X Jason Derulo -68 --10weeks- (#37)

Addicted --ZERB, The Chainsmokers f/INK -52 --18weeks- (#9) -->

Left Or Right --Laidback Luke, Mathew Nolan -50 --10weeks- (#25)

Look At That Woman --Role Model -69 --6weeks- (#44) --->

Carry You Home --Alex Warren -70 --8weeks- (#66)

Beat Of Your Love --Ownboss, LAWRENT f/Ekko -71 --21weeks - (#5) --->

One Cry --Galantis, rosa Linn -74 --11weeks- (#23)

Resonate --John Summit, Kaskade, Julia Church -80 --4weeks-->

Wherever You Are --Martin Garrix, DubVision, Shaun Farrugla -88 --8weeks- --->

The Future Is A Foreign Land --Ghost -89 --4weeks- --->

***Ready For Us --Drove, Boo Seeka -(new) --1week-

***Whatever Comes --Jeffery Sutorius, Manse, LYNDO, April Bender -(new) --1week-

***Small Town Syndrome --Mae Stephens -(new) --1week-

***Energy --Duke Dumont -(new) --1week-

***Fly --KC Lights, Welt -(new) --1week-

***Nice To Meet Ya ---INJI, Flyana Boss -(new)- --1week-

***Paradise II --Harry Romero -(new) --1week-

***Roots --Calum Scott -(new) --1week-

***My Oh My --Kylie Minogue, Bebe Rexha, Tove Lo -(new) -1week-

***D.R.A,M,A-- Mr Belt & Wezol, NuKey, Jose De Mara -(new) -1week-

Sun Comes Up--Timmie Trumpet, Sam Feldt, Ekko, Joe Taylor -90 --10weeks- (#66) --->

Heartbreaker --Purple Disco Machine, Chromeo -94 --4weeks- (#93) --->

13 new on the chart this week 8/4/2024 #21 I Adore You #53 I Like It $71 Find A Way #89 Ready For Us #90 Whatever Comes #91 Small Town Syndrome #92 Energy #93 Fly #94 Nice To Meet Ya #95 Paradise II #96 Roots #97 My Oh My #98 D. R. A. M. A.

***new this week --> off next week