#spiral heart wand

[shochmonster]

Sailor Moon Rod Roundup! Obviously, these represent the Suit of Wands in my Sailor Moon tarot deck, though we're calling it 'Rods' for the sake of theming. For some weird reason, I had the most fun making these. Something about the magicalness, I think.

Anyway, if you want some of that magic for yourself, preorder a deck

HERE

[anime-to-the-t]

[sunnami]

the 5 times you did (not) love each other and the 1 time you did.

summary. as the title suggests. this one was a request! i hope you enjoyed my version of this anon.

pairing/s. poly!marauders + lily / reader.

wc. 4.1k

tags. hurt/comfort, angst, peter pettigrew mention, not proofread, like seriously, fluff, happy ending.

cws: brief mention of violence and blood.

note: i am alive?? crazy. i began this fic, whilst sick, around august, nursing the worst headache ever. i wrote the middle of this fic, sick. and i think it's only fitting that i finished this fic. sick... honestly, i did not proofread any of this, i just know i lowkey love it. after the first one-thousand words, i just spiral and become delirious, so i don't even know what happened here. my first request finished! yippee! and thank you all for 2k :< i love you all so much.

i. 

SIRIUS BLACK did not love you—not even close, not even a little bit. Not even at all.

After Peter Pettigrew’s slight against his family, Sirius would never hold warmth or pity for the skittish mouse ever again. He was played for a fool. And, he did not know which betrayal had hurt more. Peter’s—or yours. (Had you known all along of your adoptive brother’s plans? Did you not think for one second that Sirius would, without a sliver of hesitation, put himself in the way of a killing curse to keep you safe? He’d have died before ever letting the fire in your eyes wither to ashes. Clearly, you did not share the same sentiment.) 

He wanted nothing to do with you. Ever. And if the rat-bastard dared to show his face, not even Death would know where to put Peter’s body to rest. Sirius would keep him alive until he begged for death—until the idea of living frightened him more than dying. And for you—beholder of his heart, captor of his soul, and co-possessor of his mind—he could only hope that you stayed far away. You had wrecked him—all of them. 

He wanted—

He did not know what he wanted. 

For when it came to you, Sirius Black was reduced to a man wandering the deserts—mistaking clouds for water, and the sands for grass blades. You had ravaged every fiber of his being; consumed his every thought and word. The most ironic part of all was that if you had been the one standing there—Sirius would have let you Avada him. Dumbledore could scold him in the afterlife—Sirius could care less. He’d have snapped his wand in half and asked someone else to fight you because Sirius had vowed from the moment he met you that he would never harm a hair on your head. He would never be the reason that tears stained your pretty cheeks. 

Well, apparently, trust and promises were not worth a damn thing nowadays. 

No, he did not love you—even as you stood on the steps of Grimmauld, your hair ruined by the downpour of rain. Your lips bruised and bitten from a nervous habit Sirius had yet to break out of you. 

“I didn’t know, Sirius,” you whispered—your voice the only sound falling on his ears amidst all the thunder and lightning. He only saw you. “Y-You have to believe me. If I knew—Gods, I would have told Dumbledore in a heartbeat. Fuck. I thought you knew me better than that.” 

He thought so, too. 

“Did you know?” Sirius began, taking a step forward and into the storm, a demeaning sneer on his lips. “That when Voldemort stood in our home, your portrait was right behind him? That was all I could look at. If I had died—you would have been the last thing I saw.” 

You had not replied. 

Sirius grit his teeth. “Go,” he said, voice hoarse. 

“Go!” he yelled, grateful for the rain as it masked his own tears as you flinched from the sound of his voice. Not the thunderclap, the lightning strike—but it was him who scared you. 

(But you had done so first.) 

When you apparated away, Sirius crumbled to the ground and pounded his fists against the asphalts where you were moments ago, screaming and cursing until he saw blood flowing with the rainwater.

It was laughable, really. The way he did not love you. 

It was not love that drove him to madness, pummeling Gideon Prewett into a bloody pulp for mentioning your name during a meeting with the Order. He had presumed you to be a Death Eater alongside your brother—Sirius instantly saw nothing but red. (He condemned Bellatrix, his own cousin, for becoming a madwoman. Yet, here he was, unraveled by the very thought of you. The very whisper of your name.) 

But whatever it was that had turned him into a fool and a hypocrite all at once, it was not love. 

ii. 

JAMES POTTER had no love for you—make no mistake about that. He loved love, and he did so fiercely and truthfully. But you and Peter had broken his trust—defiled his loyalty from the moment your brother had brought Voldemort to his doorstep. (Did you know that as he begged and screamed for Lily to hide with their son, Harry—he thought of you? For a fleeting moment, he saw your face, marked by fear and tear-rimmed eyes. And James knew straight away that he would spit on Tom Riddle’s bare feet if only to keep his family safe. If only to see you once more. Alive and well. But, you must not have thought the same—if you had conspired with Peter to sell him and Lily out to the Devil reborn.) 

The thought of you breathing was enough to keep James alive. 

But, that was not love. It was a mockery of it. 

No, he did not feel so much as a twinge of emotion for you. Not even as Mad-Eye Moody brought your limp body back to Grimmauld. It was not love that threatened the magic in his being—that simmered in his blood until the painted walls saw an indent of his fist. (“Poor thing,” McGonagall cooed as she pressed her palm over your forehead. Despite some of the members’ growing distrust for you, you still took an Unforgivable in their stead. “We can only wait. . . Four Cruciatus curses. . .”) 

What more did James need to want to rip Peter apart limb by limb? 

It was not love that rooted his feet by your side. Sitting hunched on a chair too small for his height, bags beneath his eyes, and the pale of his lips becoming noticeable to everyone who spoke to him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to you lovelessly—hands desperately clutching your own. Sirius stood across the room, arms crossed over his chest, dagger-like eyes waiting for so much as a twitch of your finger. “I’m sorry.”

It was a plea this time.

He only hoped you did not ask him to love you. For James could give you the world, hand-pick the stars, and burrow his body deep beneath the ground if you had asked for it—but he could not love you. 

Everyone had told him not to hope that you would wake up. That your pretty eyes would not flutter open, and you would no longer look at him as you had before. But James was stubborn. He was selfish as he was stubborn. He did not love you—but he needed to hear the sound of your voice. And James would take it any way that he could. The soft cadence of a whisper, or a rough utterance of a single word. Molly Weasley told him to accept reality for what it was. (“You need sleep, dear,” the matriarch fussed. “There’s nothing we can do. Look at the Longbottoms. . . We can do no more for this one as we had done for them.”) 

In the still of the night, he left his reveries on the cold of your skin. “Wake up,” he demanded. 

“Wake up or else you’re the traitor everyone thinks you are,” James hissed. 

But his words held no heat—and his heart held no love for you. 

Make no mistake about that.

Then, when you finally woke up, disoriented and throat parched—a hazy recollection of the weeks before—James made sure that no more than four people could enter the room. He did not care if a hurricane, or if Voldemort himself—James had faced him once already, after all—threatened to break the door down. You were theirs to protect.

 (But not to love.) 

“We need to begin the questioning, James, you know that,” said Kingsley Shacklebolt, almost exasperatedly; weary lines written across his face. James would not allow even a toe beyond the doorway. An interrogation meant you had something to do with the attempted murder of James and his family. Whether or not you were innocent, James did not care—he just wanted you safe. 

(And a small part of him already knew that you were not your brother’s keeper. Just as they had absolved Sirius of his family’s sins. It would be unfair to not show you the same grace. But before his mind knew that, James’s heart and soul had known the truth all along.) 

He found Sirius gently tending to your every need, and already James knew that was Padfoot’s way of begging for forgiveness. The ebony-haired man hung onto your every word. He winced when you flinched, and pressed his apologies to your forehead, rasping for a kindness he did not deserve. Not after what he did. How he turned you away and cursed your name. How they betrayed you. 

James did not love you. 

But what else could he call the manacles that bound his hands and forced him to his knees when it came to you? 

Not. Love. 

iii. 

REMUS LUPIN could not bring himself to love you. But, he could not love Sirius, Lily, and James either. He was undeserving of such a privilege. But he was not allowed to love you; Remus could only hope that you saw even a shred of worth in him—to wrest each word from his lips and every breath from his lungs. But, he did not love you. No. 

Because loving you meant he was to tell you of your brother’s crimes. And Remus could not hurt you like that. 

“P-Peter?” you had asked, wearing the eyes of a fretful sibling. Remus lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair gone astray behind your ear. Bellatrix had done a number on you—just as she had done to Alice and Frank. Remus was fairly certain that Sirius was off on a hunt for his cousin, his mind toyed with by the barbarity of war. What they could not do for the Longbottoms, they’d wring themselves dry to do for you. After the Lestranges’ attack, you suffered damage to your throat and memories. Remus could not bear to see you in such pain. 

He could not give you love, but Remus would offer up to you his every limb, and the weary skin upon his bones. 

“They. . .” Remus grimaced. How could he act as the bearer of bad news? He’d rather dive headfirst into shark-infested waters. Be anywhere else but here. In fact, Remus would rather snatch you away from the funereal walls, and hold you in his arms in the quietude of dawn, than be the one to bring anguish to your eyes. “They’re looking for him at the moment, love.” 

One question lingered in your eyes: Why? 

Luckily, Sirius was always the better one at sharpening a blunt knife. “He was a traitor,” he spat like acid. “A traitor to the Order. A traitor to us. He’s no friend of ours. Not anymore.” 

But Sirius knew—better than anyone else—how difficult it can be to truly hate little brothers, especially once they’ve gone. 

“No. . .” You trembled, almost retching as you sobbed into your palms. 

Remus held you then, the front of his shirt soaked in your tears, eyes firmly shut as you trembled and heaved in his arms. The sound of your guttural screams bounced off the four walls, and Remus had to bury his nose in your hair. You were alive. Safe. Breathing. But you felt cold as ice; an empty husk stripped bare for grief to take over. And Remus could do nothing but hold you. (He just hoped that wherever Peter Pettigrew was, Remus would not be the first one to find him. Otherwise, they would not be able to recover even a fingernail from his remains.)

“Hush, love,” Remus whispered into your ear as you cried yourself sick. Mourning the loss of your brother, reeling from the betrayal of a bond that was supposed to be stronger than blood. Remus would make him pay, he vowed as much to you. No, Remus and the wolf in him did not know how to love. But he knew how to hurt. And, that, he’d gladly do for you. His body was for you to use as a shield, his soul for you to strip bare, and his heart for you to thieve and never return. 

“Don’t cry,” said James, a shadow cast over his frames. “Not for Peter. Never. Fucking bastard will get what’s coming to him.” He laid on the vacant space of the bed, gently untangling your hands that were pressed over your heart. “I’ll make sure of it.”

They all would.

But not because they loved you. 

It was not out of love, Remus had to remind himself in the coming days, when he stayed diligently by your side as you recovered. Daily sessions with the best healer St. Mungo’s could offer—as if James would allow anything else. There were days your eyes would glaze over, your words rough and sluggish, and Remus would try his damndest to make you smile. 

It was the least he could do. 

For failing to protect you. 

But that was not love. 

(It was hope. Wretched, disastrous hope as he fell to his knees, and your name in between his teeth.)

iv. 

LILY EVANS was a fighter in all the ways that mattered. 

And from the very first moment she held Harry in her arms, eyes raking over his wrinkly, bloodied skin; all ten fingers and toes, her soft cries over his loud screaming—Lily knew she would trade her life for his in a heartbeat. Little, lovely eyes that would soon see the world in his own time. Lily adored him. Cherished every tear, snore, and giggle. She knew then, that a mother’s love was entirely different from any emotion she’d ever felt before. 

This was proven the first time Harry had gotten seriously ill. A few weeks after the attempted murder on the Potters, Harry was ceaselessly crying—screaming, even, every night—red-faced as he fussed every breakfast and dinner. Lily found herself at wit’s end. Her protectiveness had gone up a hundred measures; wouldn’t let anyone besides family or Madam Pomfrey see Harry. Yet, even with all the draughts and silly-flavoured syrups, Harry wasn’t getting better. 

“Lily dear, you cannot actually be thinking about this,” worried Molly Weasley as Lily stood in front of your door, holed away in the room where you had been recovering for the last few days. It would be the first time she saw you since the incident. More than anything she was afraid. Frightened that you would look at her differently. Whether or not that fear stemmed from love, Lily was not concerned. “We can call for another Healer from Mungo’s to have a look at Harry. . . Who knows what might. . .” 

Lily held Harry closer to her, lips firmly pressed, attempting to ignore the way his temperature was unnaturally high. “Might what, Mrs. Weasley?” She knew Molly was only talking out of concern, from a mother’s perspective at least. But she knew you better than anyone else. You would never hurt her, or Harry, that much she was certain of. And if you were the traitor everyone else was afraid of accusing you of, a sentence delivered by association to Peter—then let the guillotine fall, Lily would carry your crimes for you. 

She remembered ever-so clearly in her sixth-year, you with dreams glistening in your eyes. (“I’m going to be a Healer, Lils! Minnie said I’d be a great one. . . I want to protect those I love. . . I know I can do it. . . Oh, I can’t wait to tell Peter that I’ve gotten recommendations already to work at Mungo’s after graduation.”) 

And Lily recalled at that moment, she had felt a different kind of emotion that she had never experienced before. It was not love, of course. Tuney said she was too young and too stupid to know what real love was. But, at sixteen, what else could describe the way her heart fluttered and the way her lips threatened to break out into a smile whenever you lit up talking about your future? (It was just a crush, young Lily told herself.)

Only to be crushed and cast aside in the face of the war, where fighters took their place at the forefront of the lines, mothers and children hid; healers stretching themselves thin to be here, there, everywhere; where traitors walked in plain sight. 

“There is no one else I trust more with my life,” replied Lily. 

And that was that. 

Lily skirted around Molly and opened the door to your room, where Sirius, James, and Remus all stood at attention at the sight of her and Harry. She ignored them, and headed straight to your side. 

“Hello, love,” she greeted with all the gentleness she was made of, a smile creeping up to her eyes as Lily watched you turn your head at the sound of her voice. Truth be told, she did not know what her end-goal was in coming here. But being by your side had always made life a little more bearable, like all the illnesses in the world could not bring her down. And so, her magic had instinctively summoned her person to you. She, at least, was relieved to see colour returning to your cheeks, though the red in your eyes had dulled the hues she adored so much. 

“Is that. . .?” you croaked. 

Lily nodded. “Harry, meet—” 

One of the loves of my life, the most loyal and pure witch anyone ever has the privilege of meeting, someone I want to stay in my life forever. 

Lily’s smile wilted. “A friend.” 

Later, she would place Harry in your arms—her little hope embraced by her dream—and Lily would wonder if it was by pure magic that Harry calmed in your presence. 

For if love could hurt and destroy, could it mend and heal the broken as well?

But what a shame, for not one in that room carried an ounce of love for you.

(She would die for Harry, yes—but she would live for you.)

v. 

YOU did not love them, either. 

The very idea, thought—insinuation—was absurd. (Why, they deserved much better than you, after all.) With hands that failed to protect them, were you even allowed to hold them anymore? Did your heart have the right to breathe for them? You had failed as a sister and a friend—how much more would you have failed as their lover? Well, you’d never know. 

Because you did not love them. 

Merely wished them happiness and for the world to extend them kindness. For the sun to look brightly down on them, and for time to heal their scars and wounds. For if they were in pain, the earth would stop spinning. But such a request was not borne from love. 

Surely not. 

Because, then, that would have meant that it was love that teared you apart when Sirius cursed your name, when James turned you away, when Remus could not look you in the eyes, or when Lily—for all your history together—called you a friend. 

The whole of you was made by the parts of them. Each memory welded into the crevices of your soul. From the moment you had all found each other in the same train compartment, same common room—there was a shift in the fates that bound all five of you together. (The ties were red, but the thread was not of love.) You did not believe in Professor Trelawney’s talks of providence and destiny. 

Because if you did, then why was the universe so cruel? 

Falling—not in love—for four people who could very much do without you in their lives. Lacking severely as a sister to the point you had not noticed your brother fading and fading away into the shadows. 

Was love that unkind? That merciless? 

Then, you did not want to love at all. 

Oh, but magic or not, every creature on this earth selfish. 

You were no different. 

You wanted. 

Oh, how you yearned. 

“I LOVE YOU.” 

You barely had enough time to react before Sirius pressed his lips to the side of your head, arm covertly sneaking around your waist. The sound of the train whistling as parents yelled their goodbyes filled the station. You stood in the midst of the crowd, eyes never leaving one window in particular as you waved at Harry, now eleven-years-old and now off to Hogwarts. 

“Quite a random thing to say, husband,” you murmured, leaning into his warmth. “What for?” 

“Just because,” he replied in turn with a fiendish grin. “Well, perhaps for choosing us, for choosing me despite all my fuck-ups. For existing. For being the beautiful, wonderful, kind, precious you. I could keep on going, my darling. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” 

You wrinkled your nose, eyes rolling from fondness. “I love you too, quite unfortunately.” 

He only laughed and pulled you closer to him. “Let’s go home.” 

–

“I love you.” 

In the house built by new memories, warded by stronger protection charms, and filled with warmth and love—James said this to you each morning before he left for the Ministry, promoted after the war as Head of Magical Law Enforcement. Not one foot out of the door until he had showered you in kisses and the symphonies of his heart. James had always been loud, even in his time at Hogwarts. The war had not taken this part of him, and you figured James was too loud to let it be taken from him. He was unapologetically and unabashedly him. 

And you had loved him fiercely for that. 

“I’ll be home early tonight,” he said, a quiet intimacy washing over the both of you. The early birds of the cottage. “Wait for me?”

“Of course,” you answered without an ounce of hesitation, delicately chasing after his lips. “I love you. Be safe.” 

-

“I love you.” 

“Are you saying that to me or are you reading from the book?” you teased from where you laid on Remus’s chest, hours after James left for work, the afternoon bringing you two together in the living room. Lily was in the gardens, and Sirius was in the shed working on his motorbike. It was perfect. You felt the rise and fall of Remus’s chest beneath you, his heartbeat close to your ear. He was perfect. It was a miracle you had not fallen asleep to the tender lull of his voice. 

“Both,” he responded, hand coming up to trace the bare of your skin—a miracle you did not crumble or burn instantly from his touch. 

You hummed. “Then, I love you, too.” Then, you grinned, lifting your head to stare up at him. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you.” 

And, oh, how photographs could not capture the beauty in Remus’s smile as his eyes regarded you with such fire.

“My heart, my light, my desire,” Remus began, one finger ever-so softly tracing the curve of your cheek. “In vain I have struggled, it will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” 

–

“I love you.” 

Said Lily as she lied in your shared bed, red-nosed and her cheeks pale, sluggish. The Christmas holiday was generous enough to gift her with an unfortunate cold that had been going around the wizarding world. “But, please, go,” she commanded weakly, gesturing for you to join Harry who was stood by the door. “It’s a lovely day outside for making snowmen with carrots as noses and snow angels. Not for taking care of poor old me.” 

You rolled your eyes as you sat by her side, swiftly pressing a kiss to her forehead. “And I love you, which is why I would rather much be here, taking care of the prettiest snow angel to ever exist,” you countered, bringing a spoonful of broth to her lips. “Besides, Harry here has something to tell you. He’s made friends at school. One of them is Molly’s little one.” 

“Oh, you did?” Lily cooed, before sniffling weakly. “That’s lovely, darling. Tell me all about them.” 

“That’s not all, Lily mine,” you began mischievously as Harry’s eyes narrowed at you through his glasses. “This friendship apparently formed after fighting a troll.” 

“You what?” Lily croaked, emerald eyes shimmering with concern and near-dread. 

“Did you really, Harry?” James popped his head in the doorway, clapping his son on the shoulder before ushering him inside the room. A spitting image side-by-side as they took the empty space by the foot of the bed. “Good boy. Father approves.” 

“Of course you would,” Lily shot at him weakly, melting when Sirius then entered the room and greeted her with a kiss to her cheek. “And where are you all coming from?”

“Outside,” announced Remus, tugging his tie from his neck. “Sirius and I took a quick trip to Diagon Alley to get some things that’ll make you feel better, Lily love.” 

And as the snow fell outside, lazy winds against the window, your little family gathered in one room, there was one thing you knew for certain.

You loved them. 

And they loved you. 

a/n: i wrote all 4k words while sick. crazy. but anyway, i wanted to believe in love again so here i am. thank you all so much for being patient with me. i promise to do even better in the next fics!

[sectumsempraaa]

Flames on Thin Ice

Pairing: jealous!Theo Nott x fem!Ravenclaw!reader

Word count: 2.9k

TW: cursing, jealousy, ridiculous amounts of yearning and fluff

Based on this request! Thank you :)

Summary: You and Theo Nott are something much more than friends, but just less than lovers. He would very much like to change that, as he’s no longer able to control his rapidly intensifying feelings for you. But when Slughorn’s exclusive Christmas party approaches and Draco Malfoy asks you to be his date, the limits of Theo’s jealousy are tested like never before.

“Come here, bella,” Theo smiles and gestures towards you as he strides over to where you stand, surrounded by holiday decor. He approaches you from the side, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you gently. A blush spreads across your cheeks as you hook an arm around his shoulders, placing the star on top of the Slytherin common room holiday tree.

Decorating the common room tree is one of your favorite parts of winter at Hogwarts. This year, the Slytherins asked for your help after hearing how amazing you did with the Ravenclaw tree for your own house.

Theo can’t say the same, but he’d do just about anything at this point to spend time with you. His crush on you has blossomed the last couple of months, your pull on him amplifying each day. Any opportunity he sees to touch you, help you, or make you laugh, he takes. No question.

“Grazie, cara mio.” You respond, looking down into his heavy, perfect blue eyes. You always try to speak to him in Italian whenever you can, picking up on his more common phrases. You’re the only one that goes to that kind of effort for him and he notices it. God, does it notice it.

He spins you around, earning a series of giggles from you before he lets you back down on your feet. Your hand lingers on his for a few seconds, which feels like an eternity to him. If only he could kiss you right here, right now. But the graze of your fingertips on his palm is enough for him, for now. He’ll take what he can get.

You step back, turning towards the fully decorated tree, ready to show off your hard work. He wants to watch with you but he can’t bear to when you’re looking this beautiful, this stunning. His eyes obsess over your every perfect feature, his eyes drinking in your essence. 

This might be my favorite outfit of hers. The plaid skirt, the knee-high socks, the cream colored sweater. No- the one from my birthday, when she wore my necklace…

Oblivious to his longing stare, you take out your wand, tucked into the waistline of your skirt.

“Lumos,” you say, a look of wonder and awe blossoming on your face as the tree lights up. The warm glow makes you gasp, the sudden joy jolting through you.

Your hands quickly grab his bicep, pulling yourself towards him. A squeal of happiness escapes you, prompting a laugh from Theo. His smile, your favorite smile, triggers your heart to flutter. The way you’re looking at him sends his mind spiraling.

Gods, she is perfect.

It takes him a second to recover from the profound effect your touch has on him. His skin burns like fire, his heart aching for you. 

I’ll win her. I’ll win her so she can spin around in my arms again next year.

Your soft voice brings him out of his thoughts. “What do you think? Is it good enough?” you ask, your eyes contemplating your creation.

He reluctantly removes his arm from your hands, wrapping it around your shoulders and pulling you close to his side, your head resting gently on his shoulder. In a moment of risk, he drops it to your waist, his fingers fiddling with your sweater. Your face quickly turns to his in surprise. 

His pulse stops, his breath with it as your hand slowly makes its way to his chest, resting above his heart. Your head tilts up to meet his dark stare, your eyes locking in on each other.

“It is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. It is glaringly apparent he isn’t talking about the tree anymore. 

You swore his head leaned down, his lips parted slightly, his hand pressed your whole chest against his, before-

“Y/L/N! Where is that pretty little Ravenclaw?” You hear a familiar, yet obnoxious, distant voice crawling its way into the common room from the dungeon corridor. A disgruntled Theo shuts his eyes in defeat.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding.

He notices the look of disappointment etched in your features, it’s enough to send a pang of longing and frustration slamming into him. His heart drops as your body detaches from his, putting a space between you. His side feels colder without your warmth against it.

I had her.

Draco rounds the corner, a skip in his step as he confidently strides over to you. His eyes light up with glee as Theo’s darken, seeing red. Draco takes your hands in his, kissing each one before speaking.

“My lovely little Y/L/N, just the girl I was looking for. I’ve got something to ask you,” he starts, your eyes widen as he gets down on one knee, keeping your hands clasped with his. A quick glance at Theo shows you the tension in his jaw, the dagger-like stare he casts on Draco.

Why’s she looking at him like that? That look was for me not even a minute ago.

“I have been personally invited to Slughorn’s holiday party and I couldn’t think of a more perfect date to bring. Will you be my plus one?”

The look of hesitancy on your face prompts him to continue. “Consider it the best Christmas present you could give me.”

Normally, Draco wouldn’t even entertain the idea of taking anyone outside his own house. But the Slytherin crew has a soft spot for you, so much so that the common room door doesn’t argue when you say their password anymore.

You giggle, taking a step closer to Draco. “Well, I do love a Christmas party.”

His bright, smug smile draws you in as he stands up and pulls you in for a hug, resting his head on top of yours. “I know you do.” He smirks.

He shares the time and dress code details with you before heading off to meet up with Blaise for dinner. You look around, only to find you’re alone in the common room. Theo left, admittedly, before he blew a fuse.

—

The next couple of weeks are interesting to say the least. Theo has been pining for your attention, trying to distract you from the other boys as much as he can. But mostly, he’s been keeping an eye on Malfoy.

In one instance, Draco came to Theo’s dorm, where he knew you were hanging out, to ask what you were going to wear to the party. “Hmm, we should match, I think.” He suggested. 

Nope. Not today, mate. And certainly not in my fucking bedroom.

Theo suddenly picked you up off his bed bridal style, physically removing you from Draco’s presence before either of you could agree on an accent color.

“Theo!” You yelp, wrapping your arms around his neck and peeking back at Draco. “Where are we going?”

“Anywhere that prat isn’t.” He responds with haste.

In another instance, Draco sat across from you in the Great Hall during breakfast and gifted you a pair of earrings for the event. “They sparkle almost as much as you, love.”

The gesture brought a heat to your cheeks that had Theo making fists under the table. He can’t stand to see you flustered over Draco’s pathetic attempts to buy your affection.

Thin ice, Malfoy. Thin. Fucking. Ice.

Draco continues. “My mother picked them out special. She was beside herself when I told her I was taking you.”

At this, Theo happened to “accidently” spill his tea directly into Draco’s lap, earning him a public scolding. But the words go through one ear and out the other. He remains unscathed, because Draco left, and you’re all his again. And really, that’s all he cares about.

—

The day of the party arrives, one Theo has been absolutely dreading. No amount of self-soothing could keep his mind from imagining the shit Malfoy would pull without him there to interfere.

In your dorm, Theo watches as you fix your hair and apply your makeup. He observes your every move, trying to etch each one into his memory, noting all the things you do that drive him crazy.

The way she bites her lip while putting on mascara.

How she hums Christmas carols while pinning up her hair.

When she asks me what shade of eyeshadow she should wear.

When you finish dolling yourself up, you change into your dress in the bathroom. A pout of frustration escapes you as you realize your hands can’t reach the zipper. You decide to ask for Theo’s assistance.

When you walk back into your dorm, you’re met with a completely awe-struck Theo, his tired eyes grow wider than you thought they could even go. The boy is seemingly paralyzed by you. 

Holy bloody hell.

His trance-like gaze runs over the lace neckline, down the curves of your bodice, and over the shimmering gown. He’s never seen you dressed up before, and you have him wondering why it took so long to.

“Spin.” He demands, begs. “Please.”

You slowly turn for him, a small smile adorning your face. The gown flows like water, splaying out as it twirls around you. You have to admit, both the dress and his reaction are feeding your confidence.

Nothing matters in the whole world except for her.

He stands, having noticed the undone zipper in the back. He saunters towards you, jumping at the opportunity, his eyes unwavering from your body. He places his hands on your hips, turning your back towards him.

Can I just marry her now? Can she wear this to our wedding? 

You feel his soft breath grace your neck, a whisper of affection envelopes you. “Mia bella ragazza,” he says, each word dripping with pure adoration. He zips you up with the utmost delicacy and care.

He wraps his left arm around you, pulling your back to his chest. He sways you both back and forth, imitating a slow dance.

“Y/N.” Theo says, ready to pour his heart out for you. Right here, right now. As your eyes meet his, you share a moment of yearning, his lips dead set on meeting yours…

Until an abrasive knock that could only belong to Draco breaks your stare from his.

Please don’t take her away from me now.

He, of course, opens the door without being granted entry. You slide away from Theo’s embrace, slipping on your heels and grabbing your cover-up. Draco beckons you to him, grabbing a hand and twirling you around.

The sound of your laughter plagues Theo. You link an arm with Draco, tucking into his side. Theo’s mind silently explodes with jealousy, trying to identify everything wrong with the sight in front of him.

He looks like dirt compared to her.

Draco reaches to fix one of the earrings he gave you, setting it just right. Heat begins to course through Theo’s very being.

I’d rather eat slugs than see my Y/N on his arm.

Draco leads them out, nodding a silent goodbye to Theo on the way towards the door. “I think we look rather dashing together, don’t you agree?” he asks, his ego caking each word.

Theo takes a deep breath, trying to maintain his composure as he’s left in silence. He vowed to himself that he would behave for you, for this one night. For your sake. 

But just before you leave his line of sight, you steal one last, desperate glance at Theo. And that’s enough to break his vow.

—

I can’t believe she makes me this stupid.

Theo thinks as he peers into Slughorn’s party from a tiny window. His feet perched on the ledge, several feet above the ground. His knuckles go white as his fingers grip the wall tightly. 

He spots you next to Draco at the table, noticing his hand covering yours. The students engage in lively conversation, mostly Malfoy telling boring stories about his father.

Though Theo tries hard to keep his focus on Malfoy, he can’t help but obsess over your breathtaking beauty.

His ears recognize the first few notes of the song you were humming earlier coming over the speakers. 

You gasp and whip your head towards Draco, your eyes lit up with excitement, your hands tugging his suit jacket. “This is my favorite song!! Can we dance?” You ask him.

He stands and offers you his hand, which you take immediately. “All night, if you’d like, love.” 

He doesn’t deserve this. He can barely carry a tune, let alone dance. 

Theo hops down from the window, using the moving picture frames as leverage. Once he lands, he finds the back entrance to the party, peering through the sheer curtains.

Good luck pulling this off, Malfoy. I hope she laughs in your face.

But that’s not what happens. In fact, it is hard to deny how absolutely gorgeous you two look together, each step perfectly placed, each twirl calculated. Everyone watches you both sweep across the dance floor with ease, like you’ve rehearsed this a thousand times. 

And even worse, it looks like you’re enjoying it. Theo’s hand drags down his face in agony.

Fuck… he’s killing it.

Theo’s inner fire intensifies as Draco’s hand moves to rest on your lower back. Too low for his liking. And the way you’re eating it up drives him mad. Draco leans in near your ear, sharing smirks and whispers with you. 

The bloody fool is talking during her favorite song instead of letting her sing.

An idea sparks in Theo’s head, one that would probably disappoint you. But he doesn’t care anymore. Especially as he watches Draco cross the final line by dipping you backwards, his eyes obviously lingering on your chest. When he lifts you back up to him, you hear a faint, boyish voice call from behind you.

“Confundus.”

Suddenly, Draco stumbles over, tripping over his own feet and falling on the floor, bringing you down with him. Slughorn swiftly strides over and accuses Draco of drinking too much champagne, despite your efforts to defend him. When he’s asked to leave, you follow him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, patting down the front of his suit jacket and fixing his hair. He rolls his eyes, shrugging you off and mumbling something to himself about how “Slughorn will pay for this.”

As he sulks away, you find yourself alone in the corridor, sighing and stepping out of your heels. A humming sound emanates from behind you, the familiar tone easily identifiable to your ears. You can’t help but smile as the pieces fall into place.

“Really? Confundus?” You joke, turning your head to the side with a smirk. Theo’s arm wraps itself around your front once again, swaying you in his slow-dance way. What you didn’t expect was the feeling of his lips on your cheek, kissing you ever so softly.

“Si, bella.” He responds, switching to kiss your other cheek. “With the way he drooled on you all night, he’s lucky it wasn’t a Crucio.”

You remove his hand, letting yourself turn to face him. He kicks your heels to the side, allowing you to step closer. Your hand reaches up to caress his cheek, your finger tracing the edge of his jaw.

“Mio bel ragazzo,” you say, lifting yourself up on your tippy toes. He pulls away, catching you off guard, grounding yourself to the floor again.

“I’ve waited forever to kiss you, Y/N. Dreamed of it, even.” He pauses for a moment, gathering his words, his finger twirling around one of your stray curls. “Let me.”

The blush on your face hits a crimson peak, nodding a silent grant of permission. Your heart races as both his hands firmly cup your face, pulling you gently until you feel his lips join yours, melding into each other.

The kiss is long and earned, his lips moving against yours with intention. When he finally breaks for a breath, you tug on his collar, quickly crashing your lips back onto his. A low moan travels its way from his mouth to yours, his hands now wrapped securely around your waist. Good luck getting this boy to let go.

You pull away, letting Theo rest his forehead on yours, a stupid smile adorning his face as he processes the moment.

“For what it’s worth, I told Narcissa I wanted those earrings. I think she almost felt bad that I had to go with him.” You laughed, playing with the jewelry on your ears.

“He’s not allowed near you- no, he’s not even allowed in the same room as you from now on,” Theo says, a shadow of the tension in his jaw lingers. “Or it’s lights out for him.”

You both break into a fit of laughter at the threat, leaning on each other for balance.

You pause for a second, his eyes brimming with unspeakable joy. Your hand finds the back of his neck, grazing it with your fingertips, feeling the resulting chills it sparks on his skin.

“There’s only one room I want to be in right now, and I’d like you to take me to it.” You whisper, Theo’s expression becoming eager as he immediately lifts you up, swiftly carrying out your order. You could tell him to burn down a city and he’d do it for you.

“Am I dreaming this, bella? Am I really taking the most extraordinary person who’s ever lived back to my dorm?” He asks, relishing the feel of your arms around his neck and the scent of your vanilla perfume encompassing him.

“Wow, the most extraordinary person? Ever?!” You giggle, your voice coated with exaggeration. “What does that make you?” You ask him.

“The luckiest.”

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[blondejellykitty]

₊♡ ˚⊹ a quiet love ₊♡ ˚⊹

୨୧ james potter x shy!reader ୨୧ not all love was like the movies portrayed them, but that doesn't mean it isn't good a/n: (1.9k words) happy valentines day!

Honestly you two getting together shocked everyone, even James himself was surprised you agreed to date him. You both were polar opposites, he was loud and outgoing while you were quiet and shy.

You both did have things in common though, like your kind hearts, your infectious humor and your Transfiguration class. Which coincidentally was how you both met.

You'd been failing behind on the assignments and Professor McGonagall assigned James to tutor you just until your grade rose a little higher.

You both agreed to meet at the far back upper level of the library. You were so sure he would bail. It wasn't hard to hear about James Potter and his troublemaker friends around school. But he'd showed up, on time and with a set of notes and books for you both to look over.

Everytime you think back to those early study sessions you cringe at your past self. It would've been easier to talk to a startled turtle. The most you said was a swift 'see you later' once the session had ended.

But that never deterred James. If anything it seemed to push him to get past your walls. He was nothing but patient and kind while explaining the Flobberworm to Fritter incantation all the way to explaining the Bird-Conjuring Charm and everything in between.

Eventually you did warm up to him. Your quiet word responses turned to shy short sentences. Then by the time you were passing Transfiguration with flying colors you and James were able to laugh and joke together.

Once the study lessons were over, he invited you to Hogsmeade with him the following weekend. No one had ever tried asking you before and you'd only gone there once with the second year tour, so you were very excited to go, and with such a good-looking boy too. You were over the moon!

The weekend trips became a regular every two week deal between you both. As well as Friday afternoons you both would study in your old spot in the library together.

After a few months of this sweet routine, one Friday the library was cleaned as someone threw a smoke bomb or three inside, which stained the walls and floors with multicolored powder. James had sworn to you it wasn't him but you caught that gleam in his eyes and shook your head in dismay.

He'd offered to study in his dorm, he said him and his friends found a way to disenchant the staircase when they needed to, you chose not to think too hard on the reason why.

He'd led you to the Gryffindor common room which unsurprisingly was styled in red and gold. You both passed fellow students sitting in the red couches that were placed around the fireplace, and past the students sat by the tall windows at desks. Thankfully both groups of your peers were engrossed in their gossip or studies to pay attention to the rule breaking happening in front of them. Or maybe they were used to James breaking the rules.

James flicked his wand and the winding staircase shimmered a silver colour and he ushered you up quickly. As you reached the top of the stairs you were met with a long hallway with two brown doors, one on each side. You looked back and the stairs had stopped shimmering and James pointed to the end of the hallway.

At the end of the hallway were two sets of staircases, the left staircase spiraled down and the right side staircase spiraled up. He gently directed you to the right staircase. Thankfully this time not needing to be enchanted. At the top the next level was the same setup as the previous floor. He pointed you to the door on the right.

As you approached the wooden door you could faintly hear muggle music playing from inside. He scooted past you and opened the door for you dramatically. You entered and took in the chaotic room.

A large square rug took up most of the floor, it was red and gold with the Gryffindor crest on it. Sitting down on the rug leaning against the wooden bedframe sat Remus, with a thick book in his hands.

Four beds pushed against each corner of the room, in between each horizontal bed was two chests on either side of the room. The chests seemed to act as dressers, two tidy and neat while the other two looked like a clothes tornado ran through it.

At the opposite wall of you, was two long windows with two desks in front of it and a third in between the gap. Two of the desks had books and papers stacked on and around them. The last desk was occupied by a blonde boy who you recognized as Peter. He was hunched over the wooden desk scribbling something on a sheet of paper.

The walls were littered with muggle posters of bands and singers, along with various quidditch players. A record player was blaring a muggle song you hadn't heard before from the right corner bedside.

Lying flat on his stomach on the farthest right bed was Sirius. Of course it was his music playing, you thought with a small smile. James had told you about his friends before formally meeting them, not like you hadn't observed them when running from different Professors.

Sirius was the only one to look up. His pretty eyes met yours.

"Well, isn't this a delightful surprise?" His teasing voice lifted over the music. He quickly sat up, leaning over the record player and turned it down slightly.

"What's a doll like you hanging around ol' Jamie?" His playful smirk widened as you felt your face warm in embarrassment. James had warned you about this.

"Oi, piss off we're studying" James' loud voice held no real heat to them which eased you greatly.

"Ah, 'studying' sure. Uh-huh. You want us to leave you two love birds alone then?" Sirius said very theatrically. If your face was warm before, it was burning now. You could almost feel the heat waves bouncing off you. You hoped no one could tell.

Remus looked up from his seat on the floor. "What're you studying?"

You looked down in surprise, you'd almost forgot he was there. It was even more surprising he was looking at you when he asked. You gulped.

"Transfiguration and Potions" You fumbled out, you felt victorious that you hadn't stuttered through it.

"I have some notes from Potions class if you need it" He said softly before returning to his book. You realized he was shifting the subject away from Sirius and his teasing. How sweet.

"Thanks Moony" James walked and flicked through the papers scattered on one of the free desks before muttering something to Peter that made him start to scribble faster and pick up a bigger textbook. James grabbed a handful of notes and showed you to the closed bed to the door on the left. He sat leaned against the pillows while you sat with your back against the wall.

He handed you Remus' notes and started opening up the textbooks.

You often thought back to that day, and how nervous you were to befriend James in the first place. You often laughed about it. Right now you were on your way to those exact dorms.

James had taught you the spell to make it easier to visit their dorm whenever you needed to. You used the well used spell and made your way up towards their room.

The four boys were scattered around the room when you entered. James' smile widened at the sight of you.

"Love! I was just thinkin' about you" He practically sang from where he laid on his bed.

"When aren't you?" Sirius snorted from his spot on his bed, where he read a muggle magazine with his head hanging off his bed.

"Sorry sweetie but I'm not here for you just yet" You walked past James' bed straight towards his neighbor where Remus sat with a notebook in his hand writing away.

James made a dramatic gasp, his cries echoed around the room. In what he'd call 'utter dismay' which was what you'd call a hilarious performance.

"Hi Remus" You smiled sweetly at him, trying to batter your eyelashes at him.

"Hi flower" He smirked, knowing what you were doing he leaned into his trunk roof pocket and pulled out some of his famous chocolate.

You giggled, "Thank you!" You childishly ran back towards James' bed and flopped down next to him while guarding your precious sweets from him.

"What the hell?" Sirius's head whipped up so fast you almost winced for him.

"How'd you do that?" Peter practically whined out from where he sat in his bed munching on Fudge Flies and Jelly Slugs while studying.

"This is blatant favoritism!" Sirius now kneeled on his bed, waving his hands around while James fell back onto his pillows laughing loudly.

"This isn't funny, do you have any idea how long it took to bribe him for some? all she had to do was ask!" Sirius wailed. Remus hid his chuckles behind his notebook.

"I guess I'm just the favourite, huh Sirius?" You teased from the safety of James' bed.

Sirius scoffed flopping backwards into his bed.

"I liked you better when you were quiet" He grumbled into his pillow which he'd placed over his head.

You turned around to face James. His cheeks were flushed from all his laughter and his glasses were slightly wonky. You reached and corrected their position on his pretty face. He gently smiled at you.

“Hi” He whispered, his eyes tracing your face with a warmth that left you giddy.

“Hi there” You whispered back with a giggle.

He lovingly kissed your cheek, then moved to your temple, then above your eyebrow. Which made you giggle. He kissed the bridge of your nose. He kissed you only just missing your lips with a soft laugh.

Kissing James never felt like fireworks or a spark, it felt soft and warm like a beloved blanket keeping you safe from the cold.

“We’re supposed to be studying” You gave a half-suppressed laugh.

“Mhm, yeah but that’s not as interesting as you are Love” He teased with a playful smirk.

“Ya know we can still hear you right? It’s revolting” Sirius chimed in, loudly expressing his concerns.

James reached behind him, lifting his pillow from behind him he threw it across the room hitting Sirius straight in the face.

Both you and Peter cracked up at Sirius’ briefly stunned face.

“This is war Prongs” Sirius said rather seriously, ironically.

“You’re on Pads” James narrowed his eyes and grabbed the last pillow left on his bed and hopped up.

Both boys raced towards each other in a very heated pillow fight. James kept aiming for Sirius’ hair, which wasn’t taken well. Sirius aimed for James' legs in hopes of knocking him over.

“They’ll be at it for awhile” Remus sighed, like this was a regular occurrence which it probably was you though. 

Remus placed his notebook back into his trunk and pulled out even more of his sweet chocolate. Remus looked between you and Peter with an unspoken question.

You and Peter ran and jumped on Remus’ bed, and he shared his chocolate between you three as you all watched the two doofus’ battle each other.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Readers reaction to George losing his ear?

A/n: MY BABY

The shriek of splitting air and the crack of curses tore through the night like thunderclaps. Your heart raced as you gripped your broom tightly, the wind whipping against your face. The sky was a chaotic blur of green and red as the Order fought valiantly to protect Harry. Death Eaters swarmed like shadows, their laughter carrying through the night as spells illuminated the air.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, it was hard to see anything in the chaos, in the darkness. You had been flying alongside Hagrid and Harry moments before they were ambushed, but now the formations were scattered.

Your broom twisted sharply as you dodged a jet of green light, your chest tightening at the near miss. You tried to focus on the task at hand, but your mind was elsewhere. George. You needed to find him.

The eerie glow of a Killing Curse illuminated the figure of a Death Eater hurtling toward her. You clenched your wand. “Stupefy!” You shouted, the spell striking true and sending the figure spiraling downward.

“Y/n!”

You whipped your head around at the sound of your name, spotting Fred a few meters away. Relief flooded your chest—until you noticed the grim look on his face.

“Fred! Where’s George?!” she yelled, steering her broom closer.

Fred’s lips moved, but his words were lost in the howling wind. Before you could ask again, you saw it: a limp figure slumped over the handle of their broom, blood streaking their face.

“No,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

Fred pointed downward, signaling a retreat, and you followed through the barrier. The ground was an unsteady blur as they hurtled toward the Burrow.

When they landed, You stumbled off your broom, her legs shaky. George was being supported by Arthur, his arm draped over his father's shoulder, but something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

“George?” Your voice cracked as you rushed toward them.

Fred gently eased George onto a makeshift cot in the sitting room. Mrs. Weasley was already there, her hands trembling as she tried to clean the blood pouring from the side of George’s head.

“He—he’s lost his ear,” Fred choked out, his usual bravado replaced with raw fear.

The words didn’t register at first. Your gaze was fixed on George, his pale face slick with blood, his usual mischievous grin replaced by a grimace of pain. Your knees buckled, and you fell to the floor beside him.

“George, no—no, no, no,” you murmured, your hands hovering over him as though afraid to touch him.

George’s good eye flickered open, and a weak smile tugged at his lips. “Blimey, Y/n, you’re acting like I’ve lost my head, not my ear.”

“Don’t joke!” You snapped, tears spilling down your cheeks. “You—you nearly—”

Your voice broke, and you buried your face in your hands, unable to say the word.

George winced as Mrs. Weasley pressed a cloth to his wound. “Oi, don’t cry, love,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’ll be alright. Just a bit… lopsided.”

Fred let out a shaky laugh, though his eyes were rimmed with unshed tears. “Yeah, Georgie, you’ve got to admit it’s a good look. Makes you stand out from the rest of us boring folk.”

“Not now, Fred!” You snapped, your voice trembling as you turned back to George, your hands gripping his uninjured arm. “Why didn’t you dodge it? Why didn’t you—” You didn't mean to snap at Fred, you were just so scared, so scared to lose someone you love so much.

Fred didn't mind of course, he knew how stressed everyone was, how high tensions were.

“I didn’t exactly have time to stop and think, Y/n,” George said, his tone still light, though his breathing was labored. “Death Eaters don’t wait for you to draw up a battle plan.”

Your lips quivered, and you shook your head. “You’re so reckless. You always have been. What if—what if it had been worse? What if—”

Your words were cut off by a gentle squeeze of your hand. George’s bloodied fingers entwined with yours, grounding you in the moment.

“But it wasn’t,” he said firmly, his eyes meeting yours. Despite the pain etched across his face, there was a flicker of warmth in his gaze. “I’m here, Y/n. I’m still here.”

The room fell silent except for Mrs. Weasley’s quiet sniffles and the crackle of the fire. Your fingers tightened around George’s as you struggled to steady your breathing.

“You scared me,” you whispered finally, your voice breaking.

George smiled faintly. “Didn’t mean to. Promise I’ll try not to lose any more body parts.”

Fred snorted. “Yeah, let’s keep it at one ear, alright? You’re no Van Gogh.”

Despite herself, you let out a shaky laugh, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand. You leant forward, pressing your forehead to George’s. “You’re an idiot,” you muttered.

“Takes one to love one,” he teased, his grin widening.

You huffed, but her your quirked upward. “You’re lucky I love you, George Weasley. Otherwise, I’d knock some sense into that thick skull of yours.”

“Love you too,” George murmured, his voice softening as exhaustion overtook him.

As George drifted into a restless sleep, you stayed by his side, your hand never leaving his. Fred sat nearby, watching over his twin with a quiet intensity, while Mrs. Weasley bustled around, trying to keep herself busy.

For the rest of the night, you didn’t move. You kept your gaze fixed on George, your heart aching with relief and fear.He had survived, but the reality of war had never felt so close.

And you wasn’t sure how many more times your heart could take it but right now, as your hand held his as you vowed to keep himself,nothing will take George from you.

[bbydoll18xx]

Masterlist

Paige Bueckers

Series:

I'll Be Your Temporary Fix (Paige Bueckers x Media Team Reader)

I'll Be Your Temporary Fix (Part 2) (Paige Bueckers x Media Team Reader)

I'll Be Your Temporary Fix (Part 3) (Paige Bueckers x Media Team Reader)

I'll Be Your Temporary Fix (Part 4) (Paige Bueckers x Media Team Reader)

Pet Names and Airplanes - When a very sleepy Paige lets out some interesting noises, you find that the lines of your friendship have blurred considerably.

Pet Names and Airplanes (Part 2) - The aftermath of the airplane ride leaves Paige moaning once more. (Contains smut)

Pet Names and Airplanes (Part 3) - It's Paige's turn to call the shots. (Contains smut)

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - KK tries to set you up on live, and things between you and Paige go south.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart (Part 2): Fake It Til You Make It - You go out on a date. Paige gets drunk. Chaos ensues.

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart (Part 3): Grinning Like I'm Winning - The aftermath of a drunken confession.

She's Such a Good Girl - You move in across the hall from Paige Bueckers. It doesn’t take long before she tries to shatter your innocent persona. And you just let her. 

She's Such a Good Girl (Part 2) - Paige continues her assault on your innocence, leading you to spiral.

She's Such a Good Girl (Part 3) - You get drunk off Paige, and confessions come out.

She's Such a Good Girl (Part 4) - Paige makes you feel so good. (Contains smut)

She's Such a Good Girl (Part 5) - Paige shows you her strap. (Contains smut)

She's Such a Good Girl (Part 6) - Your newfound fascination with Paige's abs leads to some fun. (Contains smut)

I've Got a Wand and a Rabbit - Paige stumbles into a sex shop you work at, and you give her some satisfactory customer service.

I've Got a Wand and a Rabbit (Part 2) - You give Paige some guidance when it comes to self-pleasure. (Contains smut)

I've Got a Wand and a Rabbit (Part 3) - Paige takes advantage of your employee discount. (Contains smut)

I've Got a Wand and a Rabbit (Part 4) - You show Paige the benefits of being with a dominant woman. (Contains smut)

Bonus one shot - Paige wants to try scissoring, but she’s too shy to tell you. (Contains smut)

Oneshots:

Guilty As Sin? - 'We've already done it in my head'

Keep The Edits Cordial - A tik tok edit of two best friends coaxes out admissions of feelings (and orgasms). (Contains smut)

Brats Get Punished - You choose to be a brat. Punishment ensues. (Contains smut)

Plotting and Scheming - When UConn’s wbb team gets tired of Paige’s pining, they concoct a plan to get you into her arms.

An Inch Away From More Than Just Friends - Your ex-boyfriend is quite literally the smallest man who ever lived, and Paige is there to pick up the pieces. (Contains smut)

Spike Me, Baby, One More Time (Paige Bueckers x fem!volleyball player)

I Love You (It's Ruining My Life) - ‘I took the miracle move-on drug. The effects were temporary.’

Short Stuff - Paige Bueckers x short fem gf

How Do I Get To Heaven? - 'Without changing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?'

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - When Paige falls apart, you're there to pick up the pieces.

She's an Angel - Pretty much everyone but Paige has noticed your pining, and the team decide to do something about it.

She's an Angel (Part 2) - You and Paige get locked inside a bathroom, the team likes to cockblock, and you finally get the girl. (Contains smut)

Baby, I Don't Want to Be Alone - Paige is the sunshine that cuts through your darkness.

I Try to Refrain (But You're Stuck in my Brain) - You have a dream about Paige, and it leads to some shocking revelations.

The Road Not Taken (Looks Real Good Now) - You're home, back in Minnesota for the holidays, and you're really missing Paige's smile.

Take It Off - ‘Only bought this dress so you could take it off.’ (Contains smut)

Azzi Fudd

This Is Me Trying - 'I just wanted you to know that this is me trying.'

*I am currently accepting requests :)

Thanks so much for reading and supporting me!!

[drops-of-moonlights]

Following up the weapon ask, the weapons themselves! not all of them are on scale because I wanted the dimensions of the canvas to remain the same for better posting purposes lmao. The Solar Sytem Senshi's weapons in the AU woo! LENGTHY FUCKING POST BELOW.

We start with Usagi/Moon as is good and proper - her first weapon is a chakram, which she summons from her tiara gem hence its similarities with it. After that she gets the Moonlight Wand, a small partially bladed item that she uses to canalize her healing powers... until Serenity hijacks her body and turns into Princess Sailor Moon, at which point the crescent becomes a short saber, turning the Wand into the Moonlight Blade. The Wand shatters after defeating Metallia and Usagi's wandless until she finally achieves her Super transformation, creating the Spiral Heart Moon Rod out of her love for everyone. She sticks with it until it evolves into the Eternal Crosier once she obtains her permanent Eternal transformation.

Then the Inners! Outside Minako, they all get their weapons upon upgrading to Super form.

Mercury creates the Harmony Shield out of her desire to protect everyone and keep the peace, taking on the form of a harp as well as it comes from her desire to truly pursue her musical inclinations instead of what she thinks her peers expect out of her.

Mars forms the Sacred Fire Bow out of a similar sentiment, with a focus on wanting to never miss her mark. The bow itself is shaped after a yumi, the style of longbow used in kyudo.

Jupiter forms the Forest Wheels, a pair of wind-and-fire wheels, in her desire to be strong enough to fight for those that can't, favoring her more melee style of combat.

Venus obtains her Charm Chain while still in her Base form, proving herself different from her past incarnation and, ironically, breaking free of her chains with it. The Charm Mic does come with Super, as she decides that her dream matters just as much as her duty, forming her own spotlight.

Earth creates her sword for similar reasons as the rest, with the added bonus of proving herself a capable Senshi protecting her own planet still standing.

Then we have Uranus, Neptune and Vulcan! Their weapons were created or obtained while in their Base forms instead of when achieving Super form. In the AU, there's only two Talismans, the sword and the mirror, which change shape depending on their wielder's desires. Haruka, focusing on the Sailor part of her name, morphs the sword into a cutlass, showing her own desire to be seen as useful and noble. Michiru, on the other hand, saw the mirror and went "But of course, such an item of great power would be a mere accessory. I am most assured in that it'll be able to aid me in melee combat, should I find myself embroiled in it." and the magic was like "GOD FINE HERE IT CAN STAB NOW" and turned the mirror itself into a reflective dagger. As for Aylin, her warhammer's pretty straightforward as far as weaponry goes.

Then we get Pluto and Mamoru, the odd ones! Pluto being Pluto, she keeps her Garnet Orb and Garnet Key Rod pretty much the same, only now it's not a Talisman, just a very powerful thing. Tuxedo Mask's first weapon, parallel to Moon's chakrams, are sunflower-shaped shuriken, used mainly to pin down and trap opponents. During the fight with Fiore, where he gets his own Super form, he creates the Sunflower Baton, which he uses mainly for defensive maneuvers more than offensive ones.

We now get to Tsubasa! she was my favorite batch lol. We start with the Cutie Moon Rod/Dark Moon Rod, used when acting as Sailor Chibimoon and "Sailor Nemesis" respectively. It's broken as the Dark Moon Rod after the death of Pluto. Then we get her first true personal weapon as Eclipse with the Heart Mace, showing her more physical inclination to fighting compared to her mom. Pegasus grants her the Kaleidoscope Sword to aid in her fight against the Dead Moon Circus, fashioned after his horn, and then after that, in her desire to have a ranged option, her power creates the Eclipse Rose Pistol, a sparkly, magical gun. Unlike Usagi, who only has her chakrams and her crosier, Tsubasa can switch around between all three of her weapons.

Last but not least, Tsubasa's crew! Chiara/Ceres gets the Spring Tact, a conductor's baton she uses to direct her magic. Paola/Pallas gets the Winter Orbs, which she can multiply ad infinitum and have a variety of uses, from aiding in her magic to just being freezing bombs. Joana/Juno gets the Autumn Daggers, a set of throwing knives which can be covered in stone for extra impact. Vera/Vesta of course then gets the Summer Whip, and she uses it accordingly. Saturn keeps her Silence Glaive as is good and proper, and then Lia/Nemesis gets the Mirror Shield, which she uses more as a canalizer for magic attacks and to deflect enemy ones.

[bandsofmarv]

Forbidden

In which y/n potter is secretly dating mattheo riddle.

No warnings

The glow of the Gryffindor common room fire danced across the walls as you leaned closer to the parchment on your lap, pretending to focus on your Potions essay. In truth, your mind was elsewhere—on the boy with the dark curls and piercing eyes who had managed to worm his way into your heart. Mattheo Riddle.

It was a dangerous name to whisper, even more so to feel something for him. Yet here you were, sneaking glances at the clock, counting down the minutes until curfew when you’d slip out and meet him.

If Harry knew, he would lose his mind.

Your older brother had always been fiercely protective, but his hatred for Mattheo was on another level. Harry saw him as everything wrong with Slytherin—a cocky, sharp-tongued troublemaker with dangerous connections. And Mattheo’s reputation as Tom Riddle’s son didn’t help.

So you kept the relationship a secret. For now.

————————————————————————

The Astronomy Tower was empty, as usual, when you arrived. The December chill cut through your robes, but before you could shiver, a pair of warm arms wrapped around you from behind.

“You’re late,” Mattheo murmured, his breath tickling your ear.

You grinned and turned to face him. “Had to wait for Harry to stop hovering like a Dementor.”

Mattheo chuckled, a low, rich sound that sent warmth spiraling through you. “The Golden Boy really doesn’t like me, does he?”

“He doesn’t know you,” you countered, reaching up to brush a curl from his forehead. “Not like I do.”

“And he never will if we keep sneaking around like this,” Mattheo said, though there was no real anger in his tone. Only a quiet longing. “Don’t you ever get tired of hiding?”

You hesitated, guilt gnawing at you. “I hate it,” you admitted. “But I can’t hurt Harry like that. He—he’s been through so much. He wouldn’t understand.”

Mattheo’s jaw tightened, but he nodded. “For you, I’ll wait. But he’s going to find out eventually.”

It happened sooner than you expected.

You were leaving the library, Mattheo’s hand brushing against yours as you both ducked into a quiet corridor, laughing softly about some joke he had made. Neither of you noticed the figure lurking in the shadows until it was too late.

“What the hell is this?”

The icy tone made your heart drop. You spun around to see Harry standing a few feet away, his wand clutched tightly in his hand, his green eyes blazing with fury.

“Harry, it’s not—” you began, but he cut you off.

“Not what it looks like?” he snapped. “Because it looks like my sister is sneaking around with him.” His glare shifted to Mattheo, who stood his ground, his expression unreadable.

“Harry, please—just listen,” you pleaded.

“Listen to what? That you’ve been lying to me? That you’re sneaking around with Riddle?” Harry’s voice cracked with anger. “Do you have any idea who he is? What his family has done?”

“Harry, I know who he is!” you shot back, your voice rising. “But he’s not his father! He’s not what you think!”

Mattheo stepped forward then, his voice calm but firm. “I love her, Potter.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Love? Don’t you dare talk to me about love. You’re just using her—”

“Stop it!” you yelled, stepping between them. “Mattheo isn’t using me. He cares about me—he’s been there for me in ways you wouldn’t understand.”

Harry’s expression twisted with a mix of hurt and betrayal. “I’m trying to protect you,” he said quietly.

“I don’t need protecting from him,” you replied just as softly.

For a moment, the three of you stood in silence, the tension crackling like electricity. Finally, Harry let out a bitter laugh and turned away. “Do what you want,” he said, his voice cold. “But don’t come crying to me when it all falls apart.”

He walked away, leaving you and Mattheo alone in the corridor.

That night, as you lay in bed staring at the ceiling, you wondered if Harry would ever forgive you. But when Mattheo found you the next day, his hand slipping into yours despite the glares from the Gryffindor table, you knew one thing for sure: some things were worth fighting for.

And you weren’t giving him up. Not for anyone.

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Moons in Aries & Taurus ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Heyaa~ I’m so sorry that I’ve been super tardy about the Moon PAC readings. A lot was going on XD And suddenly, we’ve even gone through the next FM in Taurus, so I decided to cover the aenergies of both FMs into this one reading :D

Full Hunter’s Moon in Aries was on 17 Oct; the theme revolved around taking charge of the trajectory of our future expansions! Whatever you dream of right now, if you’re clear that the desires aren’t coming from your Ego, they’re a vision bigger than the mundane that’s been sent you by the Higher Forces! :D Keep the faith and believe in miracles for the Universe is taking care of its manifestation~\`★_★`/

Full Beaver’s Moon in Taurus was on 15 Nov; the aenergy pushed us further into having full confidence in that trajectory of ours being so fun, abundant, and filled with meaningful events! <3 This FM in particular was conjunct Uranus (sudden revolutionary changes); and having Pluto re-enter Aquarius on the 19th, for Lightworkers and Starseeds, this is literally the time you’re being prepared to welcome your Grand Mission.

This sacred period leading up to 2025 is boiling cooking and baking bold dreams for exciting (possibly shattering) world-changing events what will be rolling out in succession in the next 3 years. If you’re reading this, there’s simply no way your future isn’t exciting—so prepare your heart and mind \^o^/

Know that your persistent visions and interests aren’t random. Mayhap…your ancestors whispered that dream in you precisely because it is your calling~ ;P

gnosis: The Fourth Turning Explained in Under 10 Minutes: Does History Repeat? by No Protocol

deck-bottom: XVII The Star Rx, Red Alchemist (John Dee), Priestess of Opulence

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Walking A Peaceful Path of Your Magnificent Creation

transmission – 5 of Wands Rx

By nature, you are someone who embodies a supernatural ability to sense negativity. You may identify as an empath; someone may have told you that you’re too sensitive or too negative; it could also be that you tend to find yourself easily dragged into negative thought patterns and chaos, even if they’re created by other people around you—or the news!

Your keen sensitivity essentially isn’t a flaw to begin with; it may pose some challenges, but it is for sure not a weakness. You are by nature sensitive to negativity exactly because you’re a positive and peaceful person, and in that awareness lies your true spiritual power that could change the world. You just ought to learn how to navigate this superpower to outsmart the strange Human societies XD

I’m hearing: Use humour and witty banters to get your point across when dealing with veeeeery negative Human beings. They say there is medicine in comedy, but there is even more potent medicine in irony LMAO

translation – Page of Wands

Entering this Aquarius Pluto era, the awakened ones are truly headed towards an awesome future! After all, haven’t you been so devoted to your own personal transformations? Haven’t you been serious enough in your endeavour to transcend above petty conflicts and toxic nudges? Your Spirit Guides are acknowledging your dedication to becoming a good, peaceful and pleasant human being.

So, whatever you’re hearing on the news, if it’s of a negatively-polarised consciousness, that’s for other people dealing with that particular kind of karma to experience. It is not for you. Every miserable person you hear or watch on the news—even some people from your distant past, possibly—they’re the ones who have chosen to still entertain that particular frequency of malady, to spiritually ascend at their own pace.

You? You don’t need to get enmeshed in this spiral of sorrow still enveloping parts of this world. You’ve survived your fair share.

transmigration – 6 of Wands Rx

You’ve established a solid ground for how you can best interact with this Reality. It is your very own unique way of dealing with the streams of chaos crisscrossing the whole world. Sometimes, people who haven’t done the inner work you’ve done for yourself may not understand why you think or say what you say. They could sometimes think you’re callous or uncaring, and on the surface level, it may seem like that if the person you’re dealing with isn’t insightful or intelligent enough.

You’re giving me Tupac, but also Dave Chapelle & Ricky Gervais aenergy. The last two obviously care about many things that are wrong in the world, but they use humour to convey messages that actually reflect the stupidity of human societies back at them, all for them to… Well, reflect deeply upon their own lack of courage to become better Humans that can be relied upon to create better societies, I guess~

Ultimately, these full moons’ aenergies are supporting your daydreams and visions of a more peaceful, higher-quality Future that you’ve been seeing a lot in your daydreams. This reading feels more like a confirmation of the fact that your Future is aligning with your current Reality pretty fast hahah <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei) & Priestess of Luck

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Harvest, Sweetness, You’re Going Places

transmission – Page of Swords Rx

You have weathered—and survived—a great many storms. If only people knew how much it cost you just to get where you are now. You’re a strong one; you’ve probably heard this but it’s really true when your Spirit Guides say: Most people would’ve died a long time ago if they had to face the challenges you’ve triumphed over thus far! Your determination to survive will not betray you! So many good things, easy things, are yours already <3

This is the Pile that will live a very delicious Life. You’re probably already seeing the signs but if one way or another you’re still struggling right now, best believe it’s just the last remnants of your old BS—belief system XD The old programming gives out in cycles, babe~ You’re doing perfectly alright! Pluto in Aquarius is ensuring your wish fulfilment, and it will all play out more amazingly than you could’ve ever imagined <3

Strength, persistence, protection, change and transitions, reaping good karma. These are all major keywords for you until at least Spring 2025. Your kindness, sweetness, generosity, all returning 3000-fold for the rest of your LYFE~

translation – 8 of Wands Rx

‘ENJOY~<3’ is the loudest thing your Spirit Guides are saying to you right now. In a strange manner of speaking, they’re also saying you can totally disconnect for a while and not look for their guidance for every single little thing you’re considering doing in this mortal world. I sense they’re saying this because you’ve pretty much been quite reliant on their guidance, probably a little too much? XD Meaning, sometimes you didn’t trust your own gut instinct enough to come to a decision.

Which is understandable given you were surviving and struggling so much with so little guidance from your immediate surrounding! That said, they’re simply saying that you can rest and not think of any ‘guidance’ for now and everything will still turn out perfectly nicely! Bad luck or weird uncalled for unfortunate events will not afflict you no more because you’ve practically jumped timelines <3 Most of us tuning into this reading have, dear~

So, be safe in the knowing that you’re practically living in a delicious paradise of a Reality. Things can only get better from here v^o^v

transmigration – Page of Cups

Ah! You have a true soulmate—a romantic soulmate—waiting for you somewhere in this world! Babe, you’re going places! You’re going to meet your Divine Soul Mate or Twin Flame or anything else of that nature! :D Oh, this is so exciting! I’m getting a strong heart-connection between you and your Destined One, like there’s these staggering electrical charges that are pulling you two ever closer together <3<3<3

After all of the pain you’ve suffered, all the betrayal you’ve survived, you’d be so glad to have met this Destined One who’s literally the sweetest and kindest Soul, who’s even more sweet and kind to YOU~

This person may appear to be ‘different’ from you at first glance, but after getting to know each other, you’ll see that your Souls are quite literally made of the same star materials ^-^ You will be speaking the same soul language whereby communication feels so effortless. Ah, how nice :D

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Red Historian (John Dee) & Priestess of Intuition

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Simple, Clean, Eternally Abundant

transmission – 7 of Cups Rx

‘Ask and you shall receive.’ To manifest wonderful things in this world, first you gotta WANT them. You see, these new-age spiritual teachings that tell you that ‘wanting is bad’ or ‘being in a state of wanting keeps your desires elusive’… is… at best theoretical. In practice, to manifest anything at all you gotta start by desiring it, right? Otherwise, how the fuck do you even attract it in the first place? smh

Ask, and the Universe delivers the answer, guidance, hint and you will be shown the way to align yourself with your Highest Intended Good! <3 That’s how it generally is! Whatever you deem unideal in the world, you must come to a disagreement with it first before you can manifest a change in your immediate Reality. Once asked, sometimes, people find it difficult to believe that the change they wish for can actually come around…

Well, silence the fearmongering monkey and just WANT it nevertheless. You don’t even need to believe it if you still can’t. You just gotta WANT it delusionally! :D

translation – IV The Emperor

Lookie here! You Emperor of all the elements of manifestation! <3 You’ve got the power in you, OK? If this is your main pile, surely you know by this point that you’re a master manifestor? Maybe you’ve heard other people tell you this as well. And well, if up until recently you’ve been struggling with a sense of lack or restriction, that was all just part of your character development. The Universe wanted you to experience juuust for a while how it felt to not have anything—to struggle with even the most basic of needs.

Without such experiences, who knows—you could’ve grown up tone deaf just like many of UK’s overly privileged politicians! Nobody would like you at all tsk tsk… XXD

So you see, you’re done. Fucking done. Pluto in Aquarius, conjunct Uranus, my god, if this is your main pile, get ready for a world-changing shift in your physical Reality pretty soon. With The Emperor being a Major Arcana, you’re being whirled into your Destination! It’s going to be sooo much more fun in the next arc of your Story! Congrats and well done and for fuck’s saké , ENJOY~!

transmigration – VII The Chariot

Another Major Arcana for you, which is rare on this blog LMAO The Chariot here is giving a strong message of upliftment for your career—or whatever you might consider as ‘career’. It could be your Life’s Mission, but it could also be a stepping stone what will lead you closer to your actual Grand Mission in this lifetime. Some of you reading this, if for some reason you’re still unsure about what your true Life’s Purpose or Mission is all about…

You could try to consult your 4H-10H axis and see what it has to say about your Legacy. Then, combine that info with what your North Node has to say about the range of pursuits attainable for you in this incarnation. But, whatever you do at this point, I think you can’t possibly miss your Destiny XD It’s coming to fish you out of the Reality you’re currently in hahah

All in all, quite everything you’re going to experience from this point onwards is going to be easy, simple, straightforward, and you’re going to be effortlessly abundant until the end of your Life. No more worries, hun~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Silver Physician (John Dee) & Priestess of Integrity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[chem1cali]

THE GHOST OF YOU

masterlist

ghost!theodore nott x slytherin!reader

synopsis: returning to hogwarts after the war without your lover was the greatest pain you'd ever felt, but maybe he wasn't as gone as you thought...

warnings: HEAVY angst, some fluff but it's very sad fluff, definitely mostly angst, mentions of death and murder, references to suicidal thoughts

word count: 1.9k

a/n: this one broke my heart to write, yall. like ACTUALLY broke my heart. i'm considering making it a series, maybe with a slightly happier part two, so let me know if you'd be interested or if you have any ghost!theo ideas for me!

It was strange how subdued the halls of Hogwarts were. Just a year ago, the castle was swarming with chattering and giggling students, and now the few people you walked past had their mouths shut and their heads bowed. The war had that effect on everyone.

It had been a few days since the start of your eighth year, and each day seemed more heartbreaking than the one prior. Out of your slytherin friends, only Blaise had chosen to join you for the optional eighth year to make up for the chaos that was your seventh. You were thankful for his presence and support, but with each passing day, your heart grew heavier, and the desire to leave grew stronger.

Every room, every courtyard, every classroom, sent you spiralling through memories of him.

Theodore Nott. Your best friend since you were children, your confidante, and more recently, your boyfriend.

And also the boy who had stepped in front of a killing curse to save your life. Guilt swarmed through your gut as flashbacks of that day assaulted your mind.

“Y/N!” A familiar voice called behind you. Standing a few feet away from you, Bellatrix Lestrange cackled, her mouth twisted in a terrifying grin.

“Itty bitty Notty boy.” She crooned. “Come to save his little damsel in distress.”

“Stay out of this, Theo.” you warned, your hand shaking as it gripped tightly onto your wand. “I’ve got this.”

Bellatrix kept her own wand trained on you, just as yours was on her. It was a standoff, each of you waiting for that momentary lapse in concentration to strike. From the corner of your eye, you could see Theo moving closer, and you glanced away from Bellatrix to look at him, just for a moment.

That moment cost you, and Bellatrix took full advantage of your brief distraction.

“Avada Kedavra!” She called, and a green light erupted from the tip of her wand. You stood in shock for what felt like years, before a sudden force knocked you to the ground so hard that your vision blurred.

This was it. You thought blearily. This was death.

But death didn't come. Your vision cleared, and you became vaguely aware of Bellatrix’s laughing growing further and further away. You looked up from your prone position to see her shadow disappearing down the hall. How were you still alive?

You glanced around, before noticing a still figure on the floor. Your heart dropped.

“No.” You whispered, horror flooding you as you scrambled to the body on the floor. “No no no!”

You pulled on his shoulder to tip him onto his back, and a choked sob left your mouth. “Theo!” You gasped, shaking him with both hands. “Wake up! Wake up, damnit!”

But his body was still… unmoving.

A sob wracked through you, and you fell against a nearby column as the image seared itself into your mind. It was the stuff of nightmares, and it was your living hell. Every night, you woke screaming, with the sight of Theo’s lifeless body engrained in your mind.

“Y/N?” Blaine's deep baritone came from behind you. “Hey, it's okay. You’re okay.”

His hands brushed over your shoulders in an attempt to soothe you. After a few minutes, you choked back your tears and straightened your shoulders.

“I’m fine.” You said, your voice still shaking.

Blaise peered at you, his eyes betraying his concern. “Are you sure? You know the Ministry has set up counselling for those affected by the war, maybe you should-”

“I said I’m fine.” You protested, shrugging off his hold. “I just need to get some supper and go to bed.”

Blaise sighed, obviously disapproving of your claim, but smart enough not to push you further.

“Okay.” He conceded, wrapping his arm back around your shoulders. “Let's get you some food.”

You leaned into his warmth and let him lead you to the great hall. The once packed tables were now silent and sparse, the few remaining students choosing to sit in silence while they picked at their food.

You took a seat at your usual spot, spooning pumpkin soup into your bowl and swirling it around distractedly. A flash of brown curls to your left sent your spoon clattering into the bowl, and your head whipped so fast you swore you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

Only an empty seat greeted you, and tears filled your eyes. You could have sworn, just for a second, that he had been beside you.

You ate as quickly as you could, the food tasting like ash in your mouth, ignoring Blaise's concerned looks as you shovelled mouthful after mouthful into your mouth.

“I’m going to bed.” You mumbled, once your bowl was emptied.

“Do you want me to walk you down?” Blaise questioned, his own meal half-finished.

You shook your head. “No. I… I need to be alone.”

He stared at you for a moment, seeming to deliberate.

“Okay.” He said finally. “Be safe, I’ll see you tomorrow morning, yeah?”

You nodded, lifting your hand in a half-hearted wave as you stood up from your seat.

The walk down to the dungeons was quiet, the only sound being your echoing footsteps through the halls. The common room was empty when you finally stepped through the threshold, the flickering fire the only semblance of life in the area.

You didn't pause, walking to the hall that held your dorm room. You shrugged off your robes the second you walked through the door, distracting yourself with putting away various pieces of clutter that littered your floor.

On your bedside table, a picture frame caught your eye. It was an image of you and Theo that he had gotten you for your birthday last year, enchanted to portray a moving scene of you leaping into his arms. You picked up the frame, smiling sadly at the photo. You would give anything to be in his arms again.

“We looked so happy there, didn't we?”

The frame fell to the floor, the glass covering shattering as you froze, your heart thundering wildly in your chest.

“Shit, tesoro. I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

You spun around, and there he was. Your throat dried up, and all you could do was stare.

“Theo?” You breathed, barely able to comprehend what was happening. His soft, brown curls fell over his forehead as he tilted his head, a tentative smile on his face. He was wearing the same outfit as the day that he…

You leapt forward, your eyes squeezing shut as you reached to pull him into your arms.

Only for your fingers to close around air. You stumbled, opening your eyes as you spun around in confusion.

He was still there, but the faint smile had turned to a frown. You reached for his hand, unsure of what was happening, only for your fingers to drift straight through his skin.

You blinked, really focusing on him, and it was then you noticed that he didn't seem to be all there. His outline was slightly blurred against the backdrop of your room, and he seemed to be somewhat transparent.

“What…” you breathed. “What is happening? Am I going insane?”

Theo smiled sadly, shaking his head. “Not insane, baby. I’ve been trying to reach you since you came back.”

“You're here?” You sniffle. “You’re really here? I could've sworn I watched you…” You couldn't finish the sentence.

“You did.” He confirmed, and your heart broke all over again. You really were going insane, conjuring up images of your lost love just to cope with the pain.

“But I’m still here, really here, I swear.” He continued, fidgeting with his fingers. “Just… not alive.”

You shook your head. “I don't… I don't understand.”

He pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal a black burn mark on his upper chest. “This is where the curse hit me, it seems that my ghost has preserved the exact way my body was when I died.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “Ghost?” You breathe. “You’re… you're a ghost?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It's been difficult trying to push through the veil to get to you, I’ve tried so many times. I got close earlier tonight at dinner, but it slipped away from me so quickly.” he frowned. “Even now, I can feel it starting to slip.”

Disappointment and joy battled ferociously in your mind. “You’re really dead, then?” Your voice cracked.

He nodded. “I am.”

Without knowing exactly how, or why, anger took over you, and words spewed out before you could stop them. “Why the fuck did you jump in front of me, Theo?” You exclaimed.

He held his hands up. “You were going to die, cara mia. I couldn't stand there and do nothing!”

You wished you could touch him. You wished you could punch him, hit him, hug him… kiss him.

You just wished you could feel his skin against yours again.

“I can’t do this.” You cried, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I can't do this without you.”

“You can.” Theo said firmly. “And you will. And I’ll be here as much as I can to help you get through it, I swear.”

You stared at him through your tear-blurred vision. The urge to be in his arms was overwhelming, and it was a bittersweet kind of torture being able to see him and speak to him, but never touch him. You walked around him, shaking, and fell onto your bed, drawing your knees up to your chest. He moved after you, taking a seat beside you. You glanced at him, confused.

“How are you sitting on my bed?” You asked softly. “If you're a ghost?”

“I’m not, really.” He replied. “I’m kind of… hovering myself just above your bed to make it look like I’m sitting. I can’t feel your bed, or you, or anything really.”

The desperate sadness in his voice made your eyes fill with tears again. “I’m so sorry.” You whispered. “It's my fault you're dead. God, I’m so beyond sorry.”

He shook his head vehemently. “It’s not your fault, never your fault, tesoro. I made my choice, and I chose to sacrifice myself so that the person I love most would be able to live their life.”

“I don't want to live without you.” You admit quietly, looking down at your hands.

“Don’t say that.” The harshness in his voice made you blink and look up at him. His face was twisted into an anguished, almost terrified expression. “Promise me you won't ever say that again. I need you to live, Y/N. For me, please.”

You nodded, even if you didn't truly believe it, anything to get that tortured expression off his face. He relaxed a little, and flickered in and out of view.

“Shit.” He cursed. “I’m fading out. The veil is pushing me back, I can’t stay for much longer.”

You jolted, panic filling you. “No, wait! You can't leave me, not again, Theo!”

He flickered again, this time his form was barely visible as he faded more and more with each passing second.

“I’m sorry.” Even his voice had faded, becoming muffled. “But I will be back. I swear to you. I’ll keep coming back for you, as long as you need me.”

“I'll always need you!” You sobbed, your fingers desperately clenching around the air where his hand should be.

His smile was barely visible. “I love you, Y/N, never forget that.”

“I love you too.” You weeped. “Please stay.”

But with a final flicker, he was finally gone from view.

And you were alone again.

[mxiaogod]

— 15. [FANTOMĂ] GHOST / SIMON RILEY  X FEM! AFAB READER

WARNING : MANHANDLING, DEGRADATION, PRAISE, FEAR PLAY, DOUBLE PENETRATION, KNIFE PLAY, BONDAGE, SPIT PLAY, MASK KINK, IMPACT PLAY, OVERSTIMULATION, BLOOD, PRIMAL PLAY, SIZE KINK, DARK CONTENT! NSFW, (DNI IF YOU AREN’T 18+)

A/N : The story will be substantially altered, and certain portions may not be linked to the original lore of COD. I do not play the game, nor am I educated in the military field; this is simply self indulgent. ALL OF THIS ARE A WORK OF FICTION AND IS LABELED AS DARK CONTENT, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

And a big thank you for 342 followers.💐

— Ghosts are a tale, a haunting narrative; some may find them symbolic, but they are essentially a mental construct; some may believe in them, while others do not. They are terrifying, instilling fear in the hearts of those who cross them.

Your trembling fingers grasp the firm soil beneath you, gripping it with might. The thumping of your heart synchronizes with the heaves of your chest, under your nails are caked with dirt, twigs and dead leaves entangling with your hair. You’ve been running for what felt like hours now, you’ve fallen and got back on the soles of your bare feet more times than you can count, your frail fingers grazing the tender bruises trailing down your thighs as you  try to ignore the constant throbbing in your skull.

A twig snapping causes your head to snap up, wintry wands, waved by nature's hand, take on a bold black silhouette in silvery air; a sob caught in your throat. You get up by the palms of your hands, sliding your back up against the tree as you run, tears blurring your vision by the sheer fear that has its grip in your heart. Multiple debris has dug into your foot but you paid no attention. Through the dance of fog, the  twirl of mist, a small, cozy cabin sits atop of firm land, big enough to play cat and mouse with whoever is running after you. You immediately seek shelter, your frail body slamming the aging, oak door. You slam it shut, pushing an old book case to block the door with whatever strength you had left.

You grab ahold of the ends of your dress, wet from the rain and caked with mud, wringing it with your hands. You start to look around, a measly wooden chair and table sits on the corner, spotlighted by the moonlight, book shelves after book shelves that are littered with rubbish. Your feet thud against the wooden floor as you near the lone desk. A wall of newspapers, pages torn from magazines and books are slacked onto the peeling walls. You grab one that piqued your interest, ripping it off the wall and reading it with trembling fingers.

As you take in the information, a prickling sensation by your nape alerts your senses, tears brimming your eyes as your gut drops. The paper crinkled in your hand as you fell to your knees. “No, no, no!” 

“Found you.” Strong arms held you by your armpits, lifting you into the air. A scream tore from your throat, pain spiraling up to your spine by being slammed onto a shelf. “Fuck! What do you want from me, please let me go!-” You were interrupted by a pointer finger touching your cold lips, “Shh” he said. You finally had the courage to open your eyes, widening as you were faced with a man bigger than you, his face concealed in a skull mask, eyes blown with primality. Your mind, hazed from previous events, is confused by the calmness emanating from him, but the danger was overpowering.

Your whimpers subside as tears lick the flesh of your cheeks. He brings you into the bathroom, tying your arms to the shower head with a crimson rope he picked up on the way.

He steps back and admires his work as your chest heaves from the intakes of air, nervousness and fear wrapping it hands and gripping your throat, along with your heart.

"What did I say, hm?" He inquires gently, his deep voice rumbling deep within his chest. He's so large that you had to bend your head back to face him. As a display of defiance, you shake your head and purse your lips.

“I asked you a question, love.” He repeats, “To- To stop roaming these forests.” you respond, voice steadying. “Right, and you didn’t listen.” you can’t help but feel ashamed for defying him at his disappointed tone. “You said I can’t be here because there are dangerous people around, but you’re lying, I haven’t seen anyone around, except you.” 

“Exactly.” His tone is gruff as he tears your dress off down the middle, ridding you of clothes except your underwear. You gasp and cross your leg, tugging your arms down in an attempt to cover yourself.

“You look so beautiful like this, all filthy and afraid.” As his fingers caress the apple of your cheeks. You flinch from his touch, turning your face to the side. “You scared of me love?” he says, almost humorously. “Isn’t that the reason you come here, everynight? To come see me? Because you know you’ll only get that fear you crave from me.” 

“Does it make you wet, knowing that people fear me? Knowing that you’re the only one who has gotten close enough?” He chastises, “Your curiosity will get you in danger, my love.” Your stomach caves, thighs pressing together as you try to resist the nature of your very being. You tried, tried to resist the chase, the thrill, the fear that this man has brought to you, but it had gotten so addicting, so inhabitable to the point you live and breath for it.

You tell yourself that it’s wrong, so wrong to be living like this, living with threats behind, chasing after you but you couldn’t resist the temptation, couldn’t stay away from him, so raw and untouched. 

His face had gotten closer, you could feel his hot breath on your cheek through his balaclava, your lips part open as you welcome all the ugly parts of him, all the sick and twisted elements that you’re willing to take from him, and he knows that with how you bare yourself to him, like an offering to a god. “Please.” One word was enough for him to kiss your lips through his mask, your hips immediately rutting against his thigh. “I’m going to fuck you til’ sunrise.”

His big hands grip the plush of your hips, helping you to tilt your hips back and forth in his thick thighs until he sees you forming a wet spot on his combat pants. “Look at that, grinding on my thigh like a little slut. My little slut.” He moves high thigh away, and you give him a desperate whine in return. 

A sharp, glinting metal trails from your sternum, to your hips, a sharp cry escaping from your lips as it digs through skin, just light enough to leave a scar. The knife moves to the side of your hips, tearing through the thin fabric of your underwear, baring your swollen cunt to him. 

He circles your clit with the rubber handle of his knife, spelling his name, you couldn't decipher it with your hazy mind, pleasure rolling off in waves. He trails it back up your torso, your slick sticking to your skin. “Spit on it.” He instructs and you do, sticking out your tongue and letting your saliva drip into the handle while maintaining eye contact. Your arousal and your saliva mix together as he inserts the handle into your cunt, your legs automatically widening to welcome his assault. “Feel so good” you moan through heaving breaths, he smiles under his skull mask, kneeling down on his knees as he lifts half of his mask, exposing his red lips, parted open and wet with his saliva as he sucks your clit into his hot mouth. You throw your head back, hips gyrating on his face as the knife pumps in and out of you, his hands that grips the sharp end of the knife, digging into it, his crimson blood trailing down his forearm dripping down his elbow onto the bathroom floor. Your eyebrows knit and your eyes close in pleasure, your hips shaking from the stimulation. He spits into your clit as he rubs it with his other hand, his eye trained on your face, there’s nothing he loves more than seeing your face contort with pleasure.

“Look down so you can see how I’m on my knees for you, bleeding and desperate to taste you, look and cum for me.” He stated firmly, you trail your eyes down and meet him and it was a sight you’ll never forget, pleasure climbs up your spine, coursing through your veins, consuming you whole.

“That’s it, scream for me, sounds so beautiful.” You come down from your high, head lolling to the side. He nips and sucks you clean until he’s satisfied, “That’s my good pussy, yes it is.” He coos. . 

He stands back up, throwing his knife to the side as he turns you around, the rope twisting harder into your wrist as you wail in pain. His combat boots kick your left feet to the side, widening your legs for him. He grabs ahold of your waist, his other hand pressing down your lower back, arching you beautifully.

He presses his hips into your bare ass, humping and thrusting as he releases groans beside your ear, you bite your lips as you thrust back, his movements getting harsher and harsher until you hear him zip his pants down, hurriedly taking his cock out.

You look back at him, stroking his cock, standing tall with his tip swollen and dripping with pre cum, veins bulging as he grabs himself at the base, his hips rutting into his palm. “Please- want it so bad.” You plead, throwing your ass back onto his hips as he catches it with his palm, steadying you as he guides the head in. “Fuck-”

“Does that feel good?” He asks as he pulls out, and thrust back in. “Oh I bet it does.” He pants as he thrusts his hips, making you take the entirety of his length. A beaded chain, wraps around your thighs, his hand curling against it as you feel it embed into your skin, the chain dangles as he fucks into you, his dog tag.

“Fuck, it’s too much, can’t anymore-” as your hands push his pelvic back.  

Smack!

“You’ll take it because I said so.” He said, thrusting harder, tilting his hips as he repeatedly hits your g-spot. “This is for doing a good job.” He whispers, wet lips ghosting the shell of your ear. You feel him spit into his hands, his thumb circling your puckered hole as he inserts it inch by inch, “And this is for being a good girl.”

“Gonna cum, gonna cum-” You warn as your head falls back onto his shoulder, he lifts both your legs up, lifting you as he continues to chase his high, his cock bulging out your stomach.

“So good love, so good, fuck, cum with me- now.” His ragged moan beside your ear pushed you to the edge, pussy clenching on his girthy length. His hot cum fills your pussy, your eyes rolling back, saliva dripping into the side of your mouth from the immense pleasure.

You feel your arms loosen, as he unties the rope that binds your hand. 

“Care for a bath?” He whispers, rubbing his warm hands on your lower back as he carries you bridal style.

“What’s your name, Ghost? Will you tell me?” You ask, doe eyes pleading.

Your eyes snaps open, jaw trembling from the cry forming inside your throat. You feel your hips itch as you scratch, your scar making an appearance.

S.R

Etched into the skin of your hips, your hair sticking to your neck from the sweat. You dreamt of him again.

But that’s all he ever was, a figment of your imagination, haunting your dreams, instilling fear into your heart.

A ghost, Fantomă.

[talonabraxas]

The Swastika Symbol 卍 The Buddhist swastika is called "manji" (卍) in Japanese, and it is known as "wan" (卍, 万)" in Chinese. In Sanskrit, it is referred to as "svastika" (स्वस्तिक), which means "conducive to well-being," derived from "su-" (good, auspicious) and "asti" (to be, to exist).

Meaning & Symbolism in Buddhism

In Buddhist tradition, the manji (swastika) is a sacred and auspicious symbol representing harmony, eternity, and the interconnectedness of all things. Its arms, usually turning to the left (counterclockwise, 卍) in East Asian Buddhism or to the right (clockwise, 卐) in Indian traditions, symbolize the revolving forces of Dharma and the eternal cycle of life, death, and rebirth (Samsara).

Deeper Symbolism

Cosmic Harmony – It represents the balance of opposites (like yin and yang in Taoism), reflecting the unity of all phenomena. Buddha’s Heart and Footprint – In many Buddhist iconographies, the swastika is found on the chest or palms of statues of the Buddha, signifying his infinite wisdom and compassion. The Wheel of Dharma (Dharmachakra) – The swastika is a geometric simplification of the eight-spoked Dharma Wheel, showing the ever-moving cosmic order of the universe. Four Cardinal Directions – It extends to the fourfold nature of existence (North, South, East, West), linking it to space and the infinite expanse of reality.

Esoteric Buddhist Perspectives

In Vajrayāna Buddhism, the swastika often appears in mandalas and yantras as a gateway to higher consciousness. It is also associated with certain Bodhisattvas, particularly Maitreya, the future Buddha.

In Japanese Esoteric Buddhism (Shingon), the manji is a symbol of the primordial truth and the cosmic reality of Mahāvairocana Buddha (Dainichi Nyorai)—the central deity in many tantric practices.

Connection to Other Traditions

In Jainism, it represents the four states of existence: gods, humans, animals, and hell-beings. In Hinduism, it is a solar symbol linked to Surya (the Sun), Vishnu, and Ganesha. In Western Esotericism, the swastika has been used as a solar, alchemical, and Hermetic emblem, predating its later misappropriations.

The Buddhist Swastika (Manji) in Western Hermeticism and Qabalah

The manji (卍 / 卐) in Buddhist symbolism aligns deeply with principles found in Western Hermetic Qabalah, Alchemy, and Tarot, especially when understood as a rotating force of cosmic balance, evolution, and divine will.

1. The Swastika as the Rotating Cross of the Elements (Tetragrammaton & Tiphareth)

In the Western Hermetic tradition, the cross (☩) is a foundational symbol, representing the four elements, the four directions, and the divine tetragrammaton (יהוה - Yod-Heh-Vav-Heh). The swastika, being a rotating cross, adds the idea of motion, transformation, and the eternal turning of the cosmos.

Tiphareth (תפארת), the Solar Sephirah in Qabalah, aligns perfectly with the swastika’s solar connotations, particularly in Hindu and Buddhist traditions. The Golden Dawn viewed the swastika as a rotating force that could symbolize either constructive (deasil, clockwise) or destructive (widdershins, counterclockwise) currents, akin to the alchemical cycles of dissolution and coagulation.

This movement mirrors the Hermetic axiom: "As above, so below"—the continual unfolding and refolding of divine patterns in the physical world.

2. Tarot and the Breath of the Swastika (Manji)

If we think of Tarot as a breath cycle, the swastika represents the continuous inhale and exhale of divine energy through the suits and elements.

The Four Arms of the Swastika = The Four Suits of the Minor Arcana Wands (Fire) – Creative motion, the Will in action Cups (Water) – Emotional currents, the inner spiral of the soul Swords (Air) – Thought’s dynamic process, movement in mind Disks (Earth) – The physical realization of spiritual laws

Thus, the swastika aligns with The Wheel of Fortune (X) in the Major Arcana, which reflects the perpetual turning of karma, dharma, and cosmic cycles.

3. The Swastika and the Qabalistic Lightning Flash

In Hermetic Qabalah, the Lightning Flash of Creation, which descends from Kether to Malkuth (forming the path of divine emanation), has a rotational counterpart: the return ascent of consciousness—aligning with the swastika’s cyclical motion.

The descent (clockwise, 卐) aligns with the involution of divine force into matter The ascent (counterclockwise, 卍) represents spiritual return, enlightenment, and Nirvana

This matches the Buddhist idea that the swastika embodies the eternal path of awakening—a journey from illusion (Malkuth) back to divine unity (Kether).

4. Esoteric Alchemy: The Swastika as the Prima Materia

In Alchemy, the swastika symbolizes the dynamic transformation of the Prima Materia (first matter) into the Philosopher’s Stone.

The turning arms represent the alchemical process: Calcination (Fire), Dissolution (Water), Separation (Air), and Conjunction (Earth). In this sense, the manji is a glyph of transmutation—the constant reworking of base consciousness into divine gold.

This echoes Vajrayāna Buddhist teachings, which treat the mundane world as raw material for enlightenment, just as an alchemist transmutes lead into gold.

5. The Swastika as the Key to Magickal Motion (Chokmah’s Whirlwind)

Chokmah (חכמה) in Qabalah is associated with the whirlwind of divine motion—it is not static wisdom but active, living force, the archetypal "Will to Evolve."

In this sense, the swastika is a glyph of Chokmah’s energy descending into creation (Yod, the first spark) The rotation signifies the primal whirlwind, the storm of existence, which eventually crystallizes into form (Binah, structure).

Thus, the manji is a cosmic yantra of divine will in perpetual movement—never fixed, always flowing. Final Synthesis: Manji as the Breath of the Divine

The Buddhist swastika is a universal expression of the Hermetic Great Work:

1.It shows the interplay of creation and dissolution, much like the Tree of Life and the Lightning Flash. 2.It is a breath—inhale (form), exhale (transformation)—mirroring the cycle of Tarot and Qabalah. 3.It represents the eternal journey of the soul, the Wheel of Fortune turning through Samsara toward ultimate enlightenment. -Tarot of Eli

[cupidvision]

𝔭𝔞𝔠- 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔡 𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨

what this pac is about: this is about what’s being said about you and who is saying things

—> how to choose? close your eyes, clear your mind, and open your intuition. then think about the numbers, the images, the feeling they gives you. then choose 🤍

dividers by @fairytopea @dollywons @attxnt

1->2

3->4

pile 1

signs this is your pile: 8,10, sagittarius, fire sign, mixed signals

8 of wands, 10 of wands reversed

i’m seeing that people really want you to move on from something and that your taking too long to do it. i’m seeing that people are rushing you, and want you to make a decision soon. i’m also seeing that your stressed about this and that you feel like a burden. possibly, other people are being stressed out since you haven’t made a decision and they can feel like they’re doing all the work or like your doing too much work. in general, people are saying you need to move on from this situation and and you need to do it soon

pile 2

signs this is your pile: 2, scorpio, sagittarius, cancer, intensity

king of wands, 2 of cups

i’m seeing that the person talking behind your back is likely a lover, and possible soulmate ! this person sees you as someone who is mature, and a natural born leader. you may be the pants of the relationship, or just have a more dominant personality. they also say that you’re driven and that your strong enough to overcome problems. i’m seeing that they also talk about marrying, or proposing, as well as their attraction to you. also, if you and this person have been having any problems, i’m seeing that they believe that the two of you will be able to overcome them

pile 3

signs this can be your pile: my heart immediately felt heavy so maybe you feel that way too, complications, 7, 8, taurus , water signs

7 of pentacles, 8 of cups, the hierophant reversed

there’s quite a few mixed energies from this pile so i’m getting 2 vibes. vibe 1 is that the person who has been talking about you is a hard worker, and may have invested a lot of time into you, your relationship, or they spend a lot of time working. you may view them as someone better or higher than you, or if this is a work environment, then they could be a boss, manager, etc. if you don’t have anyone like that in your life then i’m seeing that what’s being said is that your very hard working and people can see that you have a long term goal your trying to accomplish. i’m also seeing that people are saying they may feel left behind by you, or abandoned by you. maybe you’ve been more distant lately, and people are noticing. i’m seeing that you becoming more withdrawn is seen as “dumb” or “unconventional” to others, but i’m feeling like you know what your doing and because they don’t see your vision, they find it pointless.

pile 4

signs this is your pile: 2,5,9, cancer, scorpio, virgo, sagittarius, capricorn, sacrificing, distressing, regret

2 of cups, hermit, 5 of cups, queen of pentacles

i’m seeing that the person talking behind you is someone close to you. possibly a lover or a friend. i’m seeing that what is being said about you is that you need to do more self reflection, introspection, etc. they believe that your lost right now and that you need guidance. i’m seeing that there’s possibly a financial struggle which has sent you spiraling and makes you feel like you’ve failed yourself or someone else some how. people may also be saying that you may be acting somewhat self centered at this moment, but i can see that people can tell that you’re dealing with pessimism and disappointment

[astonmartingf]

SLOWLY ; LH44

— after all the years you’ve been together with lewis as friends, you realize what lewis means to you

amgf mentions of break downs and panic attacks, crying, realizing feelings are overwhelming and it's just too much for reader but don't worry it's fluff 🫶 enjoy because wow i loved writing this, also tried my hardest not to make this like my other lewis smau and i hope i did that. anyways, enjoy!!! the next part we're going somewhere special 😉👍

masterlist

“Nico! You’re here at Lewis' party? I missed you so much, I have no one to talk to— Lewis is busy yet he’s always around. What if… what if I start seeing him in some type of way? Or am I drunk? I’m not drunk aren’t I? Maybe I am… a true friend wouldn’t have feelings for a friend right? OH MY GOSH! What if it was Lewis all along? I mean, I don’t mind, look at him? But… ARRGGGHHH! I have so much to say, but I can’t say it. Not to his face… I really think I’m starting to like—”

Do you have an unhealthy attachment to the voicemail Nico sent you four years ago of your drunken confession to admitting to having some type of feeling for your friend, Lewis Hamilton?

Yes.

Does Nico constantly remind you of the said confession four years after?

Yes.

Is it haunting your mind? It’s haunting your mind, soul, and heart— because as much as you hate to admit it, the feelings are starting to follow you, four years later. All your drunken word vomit to Nico was slowly following you throughout the years and it’s only then that you realize the culmination of all your deepest and darkest thoughts about Lewis.

That after all those years of friendship and platonic love… it might be him.

As time passes by you’ve fully integrated into yourself that Lewis would be an integral part of your life, in your formative years you stuck by each other up until the occurring present, and soon you figured out you’d still be friends with him in the future. He was always there, it was understandable.

But it wasn’t until you fully grasped that he was always there, and he might never go away.

“So have you thought about it?” Nico breaks your train of thought, sitting on the carpeted floor of his daughter’s playroom wearing tiaras and tutu skirts, playing tea party with the teddy bears Lewis gifted them last Christmas.

“I’m not thinking about Lewis.”

“That was an awfully quick answer, didn’t even mention him in the slightest.” You blink, dropping the “cup of tea” handed to you. “What did I say?” 

Nico sighs in front of you, picking up the plastic tea cup, placing it back on the table, whispering something to his daughter before removing the wand from your left hand and whisking you out of the room.

“Is everything okay?” Nico asks, pulling one of the throw pillows into your lap, eagerly waiting for your response.

“It’s scary— these feelings I’m bearing. I don’t think I can handle it, I want them gone.” Your words are void of emotion, but your eyes tell a different story as tears start pooling your eyes, heavy and slowly out of breath, shaking your head in disbelief.

You shudder as Nico pulls your arms together to your side, forcing you to face him— you stare at his eyes, slowly blurring at the tears blocking your view. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t want it. It’s all too much for me, this— this feeling, it’s uncomfortable, I don’t like it.”

“It’s new, but it’s still the same. It’s still the same Lewis and he won’t ever change.” Nico tries to comfort you, but you’re spiraling way too quickly to make sense of it all.

“No it won’t! I like him, things will be different from then on, can’t you see? I’m ruining it all, and once Lewis realizes that he’ll leave me for being a bad friend. It’s all my fault, I like him and I hate myself for it. I can’t believe it, all those years will end up with me being alone all because I like him. And now, I can’t even— I don’t want to look at him. I’m disgusted and disappointed at myself for even thinking that I have a chance, every moment I’m with him I look forward to the next, and it’s all new to me, I don’t like it Nico!” 

You catch his daughters peeking from the playroom, fully unaware of the volume of your voice. They probably didn’t expect their aunt to break down in their house on a random weekday, yet here we are. You laugh bitterly, wiping the tears in your face. “I’m scared Nico, I don’t know what to do.”

Nico holds his breath out nodding slowly, comforting you, “Yes, I understand… it all seems scary, these big feelings— it’s new. But, remember it’s still Lewis. I don’t think he would want you to be all alone as well.”

It was the last straw, the cumulation of all your feelings summed up to one— after Nico left and Lewis being avoidant about the situation, it left scars around you. You realize not to bring it up, and thinking of your own feelings and over analyzing down the “what could have beens” in your head, you went ahead of your own thoughts, slowly pulling you in a never ending spiral of destruction.

“I’m home! And guess who I met on the way?” Watching you bursting into tears on the couch in front of Nico, still adorning the tutu skirt and plastic tiara on top of your head was not the sight Lewis and Vivian were expecting when they came in.

Nico put his hands out defensively, “It’s not my fault— okay maybe I was part but I promise you I was just helping her. Not helping her cry, I just said some things that made her emotional— okay no. It wasn’t my fault I promise you, YN was just saying something and I said it wasn’t true, I just assured her. I promise I didn’t make her cry, she did that to herself.”

You burst into laughter all whilst rubbing your eyes dry, “Hi Vivian… Lewis— I swear it wasn’t him. It’s all just me being silly.” Nico gave you a pointed look, assuring you your feelings are very much valid and not silly, but you just shake your head in dismissal.

Lewis approached you, slowly wiping the tears of your face and pulling onto the strings of your heart. If you had any more tears left to cry you would’ve bursted then and there again, but you wouldn’t do that in front of Lewis. “Are you sure? Or are you just saying that because we’re here? I’m sure Vivian doesn’t mind if you tell us the truth, did Nico make you cry?”

You laugh resting your face onto the palm of his hands, “He did make me cry, but I assure you it was out of the goodness of his heart. It was either me crying or possibly passing out, I’d rather cry my heart out.” The mention of almost passing out leaves Lewis more worried than Nico being the reason for your tears.

“Darling why? Are you tired? Do you want to go home?” Go home. Home being Lewis’ apartment just a floor above Nico's. As much as you want to rest, close your eyes, and forget about all of this, you couldn’t bear being alone with Lewis yet.

You shake your head, “No… I want to play with the kids, Nico pulled us out to talk for a moment and then I had this breakdown, I want to stay I promise. It might help distract me from my own thoughts.”

Lewis, still wary, lets you off to play with the kids as he helps Vivian and Nico in the kitchen. “So… care to tell us what happened?” Nico presses his lips into a thin line before shaking his head.

“Sorry but this is about YN, if you want to know you ask her yourself, I doubt she wants to talk about it yet but don’t worry. It’s nothing alarming, I promise you— she just needs time to think about it more.” 

Not convinced, Lewis presses on the issue, “She’s okay though?”

Nico laughs, “She’s more than okay! I think it’s only going to get better from here on. It was just an enlightening time for both of us, more for her, but don’t worry Lew, things are looking up from here on.”

Sitting with the kids as you continue your interrupted tea party, they shower you with hugs and comforting words before instructing you how to play tea party with them. Peeking from the door of the playroom, you catch a glimpse of Lewis in the kitchen with Nico, not before sending a small smile and waving in your direction.

You smile back at him, and to yourself. Nico was right.

It’s still Lewis— things may be looking fast for your feelings, but one thing’s for sure. You’ve been slowly falling for Lewis since then.

[persephone-writes]

A Diviner's Guide to James Potter

Chapter Seventeen: An Invitation

James Potter x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Chapter Sixteen - Chapter Eighteen ☆ Series Masterlist

Description: You and the others search for answers regarding the return of your nefarious classmates. 

Word Count: 5.8k

No one spoke for a long beat, the air charged with your collective bewilderment. You heard nothing behind McGonagall’s door, just the drum of your own heart. Her final words stung, more actually than it would’ve with any other professor given that she was the head of your house. Zephyr was back, as was Mulciber, Wilkes, and Snape, all having planned on poisoning you just two weeks prior. 

“Merlin’s saggy balls,” Sirius said, breaking the silence, “some good that did us.”

“She can’t just— she can’t, can she?” Marlene stuttered, slow to catch up on the complete waste of time this all was. 

James’s jaw was set, turning on his heels to walk back down the corridor. You followed behind, all with the same sulking expressions. 

Lily placed a hand on your arm, offering you the best consolation she could, “If they let them come back, McGonagall must be right. They can’t be a threat anymore.”

You nodded, though you weren’t sure how much you believed her. You knew James didn’t by his short breath, lingering in the hall as he shook his head like a disappointed father. There were no students around, leaving you to wallow in your failure in peace. Like yourself, it was highly probable that the last thing anyone wanted to do was return to the common room, though where you would go was a mystery. 

“Someone ought to tell Remus,” Lily began, linking your arms together. “We’ll go to the Library or something.”

James met your eyes, softer now, though still ill at ease. “I’m so sorry,” he said, opening his mouth a few more times as if to speak further, though he did not.

“It’s okay,” you said, though you knew everyone could tell it was a lie.

You still couldn’t believe Zephyr had been in Gryffindor Tower, and that the others were walking around the castle right at this very moment. It made your skin crawl, your mind running over what you had heard two weeks ago, surrounded by the darkness of the castle in the early morning hours.

“No, It has to be her.”

Lily’s voice broke you from your trance, calm despite the circumstances, “Come on, lets go.” 

She began to walk you towards the Library, Marlene hurrying alongside you, buzzing with continued anxiety.

In a moment, James rushed to catch up, calling over his shoulder to Sirius and Peter, “Go tell him for me!” 

He met your eyes, unsteady behind his glasses. It was understood, at least for the present moment, what he meant by that single look. It would be even harder to shake him now: James, your new shadow. You decided that would allow it, just this once. 

“What a happy Easter,” Marlene muttered, tucked away at a table between the bookshelves. 

There was no one else around, your spot far from the main study areas. Your heart was beating so quickly that all you could manage to do was sit and stare at the wall, forcing yourself not to spiral even further than you already had. James was beside you like a watchdog, his wand in his hand as if someone would come from around the corner any moment, ready to attack you in your state of vulnerability. 

Marlene's head fell into her hand, whispering to no one in particular, “What are they thinking?” 

“There has to be a reasonable explanation,” Lily said, gnawing at her lip. “Dumbledore wouldn’t allow anyone dangerous in Hogwarts un—”

“Seems like he will,” James interrupted, his disgust with the Headmaster plainly evident. 

The silence that preceded was deafening, punctuated by James’s hand tightening around his wand. You didn’t know what to say, caught up in your own internal ponderings. You agreed, at least in part, with each of them. Dumbledore might very well let someone dangerous into Hogwarts, though as Lily pointed out, he must’ve had his reasons. Still, this did little to make you feel safe, even more so considering the fact that no one thought to inform you of their return. Marlene was right, what were they thinking?

You looked at James’s profile, his head down turned towards the table. It was dark in this part of the Library, though not dark enough to conceal the frown deepening on his lips. 

As if feeling your eyes, he turned to you, a resolve creased in his brows. “We’re practicing every day this week,” he said, keeping his voice low, though it did not betray his sense of will, already refuting any of your protests. 

You didn’t answer, your lip pulling on one side, though he took it as you meant it: an agreement. 

Moving through the shelves, Sirius and Peter came around the corner, Remus in tow. His skin was pale, almost gray, as sickly as you expected. There was an exhaustion to him, one that seemed to permeate into his bones, inescapable even with a hundred years of sleep. Instantly, Marlene stood from her chair, offering it to him. To your surprise, Remus took it, placing his hands on the tabletop to help him. 

“How’re you feeling?” Lily asked. 

His eyes dropped, shrugging weakly. “I’ve had worse.”

“You didn’t have to come down here,” you said, the guilt of it all beginning to wear away at you. It was bad enough they all were here, much less Remus, who should’ve been in bed getting his strength back.  

“We tried to stop him,” said Sirius, his face like it always was when he looked at Remus in this state. His eyes held an insatiable longing to help, but without much he could do. 

“So, the Slytherin’s are back too?” Remus whispered, ignoring the fuss. 

“Seems as though,” Lily said.

“Guess they didn’t want them to miss the feast,” Peter mumbled, leaning against the shelves.

“We can’t just go on as normal, right?” Marlene began, her hands splayed out on the table in a fit of partially-controlled panic. “They’re in half of her classes for Godric’s sake.”

You shrunk away a bit, your hands wringing in your lap. You hadn’t thought about that yet, too caught up with the sight of Zephyr in the common room. With another week of no classes, you had yet to consider the fact that at least one of them was in every single one, save for Divination. 

Lily hummed in thought, her bottom lip now red. “We can try to bring it up at the next Prefect’s meeting. Maybe we could ask Annabelle and Quincy what’s going on. They might actually know.”

Annabelle and Quincy were the seventh year Prefects for Slytherin. Each were fairly tame when it came to blood purity propaganda, hence their positions, though trustworthy was a whole other conversation. 

“Some of the others asked as much last week,” Remus began, his throat still a bit hoarse, “but they didn’t seem to know more than anyone else, though they could’ve been lying.”

After a beat Sirius sighed, his hands coming to his hips. “All right,” he said, surveying your sullen group, “looks like we’re going out tonight.”

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With the help of the map, you avoided Zephyr and the Slytherin’s all day, giving James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter plenty of time to make up a plan. It was fairly rudimentary, simple though effective. You all gathered in the RoR late that evening, forgoing the Easter party raging in the common room. Sirius explained that they would sneak into the Slytherin dormitories to snoop around Mulciber, Wilkes, and Snape’s room in the hopes of finding some clues as to what was going on. If this proved ineffective, Sirius had some Veritaserum saved for a special occasion, much to Lily’s horror. 

“That’s illegal,” she scolded. “You can’t just go around spiking people's drinks with a truth serum, you’ll be arrested.”

“Only if they find out,” Sirius said, offended at the notion he was unable to pull off such a stunt. 

“McGonagall is already onto us. It’s too much of a risk to go after them now,” Lily countered. 

“She’s right,” you said, staring between him and James. “Just snoop for tonight, then we’ll figure out the rest.”

Remus looked somewhat relieved when James, Sirius, and Peter nodded, though not without a great degree of disappointment. They were always eager to mess with a Slytherin, far too eager according to Lily. 

“Do you know what room they’re in?” Lily asked, clearly still nervous about the whole affair. 

Sirius cocked his head, waving her off. “Of course we do, we have the map.”

“This is rookie stuff,” said James, smiling in the same way he did before a quidditch match, completely sure of his own success. “I could do it in my sleep.”

“You might have to. What time is it, anyway?” Marlene said through a yawn. 

“Quarter after two,” Lily answered, still far too jittery for someone who wouldn’t actually be going into the Slytherin common room. “Are we sure there isn’t another way—”

“Yes,” James and Sirius said in unison. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll reign them in,” said Remus, unfolding the map. He scanned it over, his eyes darting across it as he flipped a few pages. 

“Are they all there?” James asked, peeking over his shoulder. 

“Mulciber and Wilkes are in the common room, but Snape is in his room.”

“Of course he is,” James mumbled.

“C’mon,” Sirius began, moving towards the door, “let’s hit it.”

Just as James was about to leave, you ran over, stopping him halfway through the door. You couldn’t speak for a moment, caught up in the sight of his eyes, a warm brown in the low light. 

“You really won’t let me come?” you whispered. 

When they explained the plan to you, James had made it perfectly clear he wanted you as far from the Slytherin common room as possible. You had tried to argue, but to no avail. You only hoped your begging would work in the final hour. 

His brows relaxed, looking at you with far too much pity. In that moment, you wanted him to stay forever, here in the RoR, lounging amongst the old, tattered armchairs, dancing through the piles. It was a sweet dream, though they rarely, if ever, came true. 

“We’ll be back soon,” he said, just loud enough for you to hear. “Stay here and wait for me.”

You nodded, your chest aching as he turned to leave. I’m always waiting for you. 

An hour later, the door to the RoR burst open, slamming closed as the four boys threw themselves inside. Peter leaned against it, wheezing as he caught it breath. Remus wasn’t fairing much better, his hands to his knees with his head hung. You, Lily, and Marlene popped up from your chairs, rushing towards them. 

“What happened?” Marlene asked, her voice high pitched and hurried. 

“Filch,” Sirius answered. 

“The bloody cat tried to kill me,” Peter said, looking as if he had seen a troll.

You went over to James, who had tossed the cloak onto the floor, frantically feeling around the pockets of his jeans. “What’s wrong?” 

He didn’t answer, glancing between Remus and Sirius in a frenzy. “Does one of you have the map?”

They all felt around in their pockets, coming up empty. 

“Who had it?” James continued, his eyes narrowed. 

Remus shook his head. “I didn’t.”

“Neither did I,” Peter said quickly, more frightened than you had ever seen him before. 

James’s cheeks began to grow red, his jaw tight as he stared at Sirius. 

“I didn’t have it,” Sirius scoffed, motioning to Remus and Peter. “Must’ve been one of you—”

“Okay, let’s calm down a minute,” Remus said, though his efforts were in vain. 

Sirius took a step towards James with a scowl. He looked like a kettle ready to whistle, the steam just about shooting from his ears. “Maybe you had it.” 

“Keep it down,” Lily hushed. “It doesn’t matter who dropped it. Let’s just retrace your steps—”

“I know it wasn’t me,” James said, his eyes piercing as they stared back into Sirius’s. 

“Well, I know it wasn’t me,” Sirius gritted. 

“Stop it,” you said, trying to force your voice to take on some form of authority, though it did little. James’s eyes were still fixed upon Sirius, who had crossed his arms in defiance.

The only sound was Sirius and James’s short, angry breaths, cutting through the RoR like knives. Peter swallowed, his gaze down towards the floor. 

Remus rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, his sigh breaking up some of the festering rage slowly permeating every corner of the room. “C’mon, lets just look for it.”

James turned away, a hand hanging off the neck of his shirt. 

“Did you find anything?” Lily asked softly. 

“No,” Sirius answered. “Mulciber and Wilkes didn’t say anything, and Snive— Snape was doing homework.”

James looked between Lily and Marlene, soon settling on you. He dropped his hand, his hardened face relaxing just a fraction. “We’ll walk you guys back, there’s no use staying up while we look for it.”

“We’ll help,” you said, knowing it was folly to think James would let you wander around the castle at night given what had occurred over the past twelve hours. 

“You shouldn’t be out now, not without the map,” he said, moving to the door.

Lily gave you a look, telling you it was better not to argue, and for once you agreed. 

“We can go alone. It’s only just down the corridor,” Lily said.

To your surprise James nodded, his shoulders still tensed as you parted ways, casting another glance in your direction before he disappeared into the shadows. An awful feeling brewed deep inside of you, churning in the pit of your stomach. Even as your mind raced, you didn’t miss the look Marlene gave you, her brows raised in an acknowledgment of what she surely thought was an expression of James’s supposed love. You rolled your eyes, turning away with a sigh and very warm cheeks. 

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When you woke up Monday morning, you knew you had to speak with Mary. She had already been made aware that you and James made up, though it didn’t take a genius to see you two spending time together again after your stint of separation. You were sure she must have heard of Zephyr’s return, meaning Mulciber was back as well. Once a target of his malice, Mary had every right to be updated on what was happening. 

You saw her tucked away by the bookshelves in the common room, surrounded by her sixth year friends. Leaving Lily and Marlene, you went over alone, hoping she was faring well despite the circumstances. 

“Hey, Mary,” you said with a measly smile. “Could we talk?”

“Sure,” she said, excusing herself before you led her towards the girl’s dormitories. You went up to your room, the only place safe enough to discuss the matter at hand. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard Zephyr’s back,” you began. “We went to McGonagall yesterday. They all are, apparently.”

Mary nodded, moving to sit on Dorcas’s bed. “I figured.”

You sat across from her on Marlene’s, your hands fiddling in your lap. “She wouldn’t tell us anything, only that they weren’t a problem and we should leave them alone. James asked to speak with Dumbledore, but I doubt that will happen. I don’t know why they let them come back, or where they were to begin with.”

“Do you think she’s right?” Mary asked, her eyes searching yours in a mild desperation, wanting for answers you didn’t have. 

“I don’t know,” you said honestly. You couldn’t lie to her, even if you wanted to. “James is trying to teach me how to duel. You can join us, if you’d like.”

“That's okay, they haven’t bothered me in a while. I think they might’ve forgotten I existed,” she laughed, though it was heavy, lacking any humor. “Thanks, though.”

“If we find out anything, I’ll tell you right away. Last night they went snooping in the Slytherin dormitory, but they didn’t find anything.”

Mary perked up a bit, her smile a bit more genuine. “Did they at least prank them?”

“No, we stopped them,” you said, mirroring her expression despite the hellacious nature of it all. “McGonagall warned us about doing something to them. It’s no use getting in trouble when it won’t do us much good in the end.”

“Still, it would’ve been nice.” 

You shook your head, standing up to walk Mary back down. “Dorcas is rubbing off on you.”

Lily and Marlene were waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs, the latters arms crossed as she leaned against the wall, scanning the common room. Mary went back to sit with her friends, still as uneasy as when you found her. 

“He’s not here,” Lily said, glancing over at Marlene, “but she’s on the prowl.”

Marlene sneered as she continued to survey the room like a cat ready to pounce. “Without Dorcas around, someone has to step up. Let’s just hope the ghoul stays where he is.”

“Have you seen the guys?” you asked Lily.

“No,” she said.

Marlene kicked off the wall, rolling her eyes. “This is ridiculous. Yesterday, James was in a fucking twist over you being alone—”

“They’re probably out looking for it,” you said, cutting her off from bringing attention to James’s newfound fear for your safety. Warily, you glanced at Lily, though her expression was unreadable, lost in thought. You hoped she hadn’t put much weight in Marlene’s comment, which you would be chastising her for later. 

Not unlike the previous evening, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all rushed into the common room like a stampede, creating a great deal of commotion for just three people. Sirius’s long hair was in his eyes, Peter pushing him to the side as he tripped over his own feet. Remus watched the two in their struggle, though he was in quite a state himself, stepping around the frenzy to free his legs. 

“Black!” Lily called. 

They all turned to look at the three of you, their eyes widening. Sirius sprinted over, pushing himself between you and Marlene. 

“He’s with Dumbledore!” he whispered, completely frantic. Peter and Remus came up behind him, joining your small huddle.

You tried to think of the reason McGonagall would suddenly change her mind. She wasn’t the type of person to go back on her answers, especially when it was “no.” 

Lily’s brows furrowed, likely with the same thought. “James?” 

“Who else?” Sirius said. 

“When did he go up there?” Lily asked, ignoring his sarcasm.

“A half an hour ago,” Remus said, his voice hushed. “We were waiting for him to come back out by the stairs, but it's taking so long we went to the common room to see if you were here.”

“Wait, why didn’t one of you stay by the entrance in case he came out?” you said, your eyes darting between them.

They looked at each other as well, all considering what you had said with varying degrees of realization. 

“Ugh…” Sirius began, “we didn’t think of that.”

“You never found it?” Marlene asked, moving on to more important matters. 

“Filch has to have it, we just can’t figure out where,” Remus said. 

“He’s getting better at hiding stuff,” said Peter, his mouth pulled to one side. 

“Sir Nicolas found us coming back from searching his office this morning. He’s the one that told us Dumbledore wanted to speak with James,” Remus continued. 

“Where's the cloak?” you whispered, noting the fact that none of them were carrying the rather large piece of shimmering fabric. 

“My pockets are charmed,” Sirius began, “but we don’t have time for this, we have to go.”

“He’s not torturing him,” Marlene said, though it didn’t matter. You all dashed back to the portrait hole, not bothering to notice all your classmates watching your odd group as you left.

You took the seventh floor shortcut to the grand staircase, popping out at the first floor. You went up another story, making the long trek over to the west side of the castle. Students watched as you all bolted past, skidding around corners until you finally made it to the long, vacant corridor.

Remus stopped walking when he saw what was ahead, or rather what wasn’t ahead. 

“Where is it?” you said, running down the corridor towards where the golden gargoyle once stood. Now it was only a blank wall, devoid of any indication this had once been the entrance to the Headmaster’s office. 

“We were just here,” Peter said, walking up beside you. 

“Where the fuck did it go?” Sirius cried, throwing his hands against the wall. He pressed into it, feeling around the edges of the stone, though nothing occurred. 

“Does it change location?” Lily asked. 

Remus hummed, still staring at Sirius’s futile search. “It never has before, at least in my experience.”

Sirius gave it a hearty kick, spinning around with exacerbated huff. “Of course the bloody office has to move now.” 

“Maybe we have the wrong floor,” Peter said. 

“We don’t have the wrong floor,” Sirius droned, beginning to walk aimlessly in circles.

“It was just a suggestion,” Peter said, growing short with Sirius, who had thus far done little to conceal his annoyance. “You’re just kicking the wall!”

“You’re a real fucking git sometimes, Wormtail—”

“Shut it,” Lily said, her eyes narrowed at both of them. “Let’s regroup. Obviously there has to be another entrance, so we should just look for it. Marlene can cover the ground floor, Remus first, Peter third, Sirius fourth and fifth, and Y/N and I sixth and seventh.”

“Why am I with you?” you asked.

“You know why,” Lily sighed. “We can’t have you running around alone, especially now.”

“I can’t avoid them forever. We have classes in a week, and Zephyr is in our house. I’ll have to face them eventually.”

Lily pursed her lips, hesitant despite your newfound confidence. “I still think you ought to—” 

“Lily,” you said, reaching in your pocket to pull out your wand. You held it in your hand, remembering for the first time in a while that you were a Gryffindor. She’s practically useless without someone there to protect her. “I’ll be all right.”

Her eyes darted away as she thought, drifting warily down to your wand. After a moment, she looked back up at you with a single nod. “You take seventh, then.”

You met her eyes, giving her a small smile of thanks before you all began back down the corridor towards the west wing staircase.

“What do we do if we find it, or James?” Marlene asked. 

“We can meet back up on this floor if you don’t find it, or if you find James,” Remus began, “but if you find the entrance and James isn’t there, stay where you are.”

“Bossy today,” Sirius mumbled, though Remus paid him no attention. 

You left Lily on the sixth floor platform, running up another story and down the wing before taking a left towards the tower. The gargoyle was just as you remembered it, imposing where it stood at the end of the corridor. With a great deal of relief you ran up to it, though the wall behind it was closed with no sign of James. You paced before it, trying to remember the password McGonagall had said a few weeks ago, though you knew it’d be a longshot.

“Chocolate cake, chocolate eclair…candy corn?” You shook your head, side-eyeing the gargoyle as its gaze seemed to follow you. You turned away, your fists balling as you racked your brain. “Cherry! It was something cherry, right?” In your excitement you turned to the gargoyle again, though you were only met with its stony face, its mouth resting in a way that seemed to mock your attempts. You continued in your efforts, your feet clicking against the stone floor, “Cherry cobbler, cherry galette? No, cherry clafoutis!”

You jumped back as the gargoyle took a step out of the way, the wall moving open. You were grinning proudly, ready to stride up to the spiral staircase before it began to shift. Fearing Dumbledore himself would walk down to meet you, questioning why you had attempted to break into his office, you whipped around, ready to escape back into the west wing before James shouted your name behind you. 

“Godric!” you yelped, freezing as your hand came to your chest. After your momentary shock, you rushed back towards him, nearly running straight into his chest. “We’ve been looking for you, but the entrance moved—”

“Are we on the seventh floor?” James said, looking around. “And why are you out alone?”

“We are,” you began, “and I am perfectly capable of being out alone. We should go, though, the others are probably waiting for us by now.”

You went to leave, though he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back. “Wait, he gave me something,” he said, holding out in his other hand a chocolate egg, decorated in multicolored foil. 

“An Easter egg?”

James unwrapped it, balling up the foil and shoving it into his pocket before cracking it open. He broke off a few pieces, a small scrap of pink parchment falling onto the floor. You picked it up as he popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth, peering over your shoulder as you went to read it. 

You are cordially invited to afternoon tea at Frank and Alice Longbottom’s, 749 Mandrake Lane, Upper Topton, on Sunday, 2nd of July at precisely four o’clock. You are encouraged to bring your closest companions. We hope to see you there.

“Seven forty-nine Mandrake Lane, Upper Topton, the second of July, four o’clock” James said, saying it for a second time, and then a third.

You turned to look at him, watching as he mumbled the same phrase around his thumb to lick some chocolate off. “Why are you repeating it?”

“I’d put five galleons on it disappearing,” he said, watching the parchment. 

Just as he predicted, the words slowly faded, the parchment blank in a matter of seconds. 

“Seven forty-nine Mandrake Lane, Upper Topton, the second of July, four o’clock,” he muttered, his eyes darting to yours. “Remember it?”

“Seven forty-nine Mandrake Lane, Upper Topton, the second of July, four o’clock” you said, your brows furrowing.  

You remembered quite vividly McGonagall’s complete dismissal of his request to speak with the Headmaster, though it seemed as though she had nothing to do with it, given the fact that Nick had brought him here. Then, he comes back with a message in vanishing ink from your Headmaster, one which appeared to be a simple invite to a friendly catching-up-over-afternoon-tea. 

You handed him back the paper which was now largely useless, save for proof that any of it had happened. 

“Frank and Alice, didn’t they graduate a while ago?” you asked.

“Yeah, I went to their wedding. My parents are old friends with Frank’s.”

Your palms were beginning to sweat, wondering what your Headmaster would have to do with two former students. “Do you have any idea what this is about?” 

James leaned in closer, his breath falling against your cheek. “I think so, but I can’t tell you here.” 

“RoR?” 

He nodded, following you down the corridor towards the staircase. 

“They’re waiting on the second floor. We checked every one for the entrance,” you explained.

He chuckled, shaking his head as you descended the stairs. “I didn’t know it moved, but so does everything in this castle.”

When you all got to the RoR, James explained what had happened with Dumbledore, relaying the note in full. What Dumbledore had actually said to him out loud amounted to very little in the long run. He had warned James not to do something that would cost him his spot as Head Boy, going on a bit about his father when he was a student before wishing him a happy Easter, handing him the egg and sending him on his way. 

When he finished, James was just about the only one who didn’t look as if their brains had been scrambled to bits. 

“Do you have any cigarettes on you?” you asked Sirius, suddenly feeling twitchy and in want of something to do with your hands. 

He stared at you for a moment with pursed lips, grumbling as he rummaged around in his back pocket. Without a word he tossed you the pack, sighing as you took one out and lit it. 

Lily’s foot was tapping on the floor, her eyes far off. “What do Frank and Alice have to do with us? They graduated when we were second years,” she paused, her eyes bouncing from person to person. “Were any of you close with either of them?”

“Not really, but my parents know Frank’s,” James answered. “But they’re both Aurors, bloody good ones at that. You know the rumors about people working on the outside, going behind Minchum and Crouch. After this, I’d bet they’re one of them.” James held up the slip of parchment, folded neatly back up into a square.

“What about Dumbledore? Do you think he’s,” you faltered, the implications too serious to say out loud.

“Probably,” James said, his gaze unwavering. 

When you thought about it some more, it didn’t seem too far off that he would be involved in such an endeavor. You weren’t sure what he thought of Minchum, though the current Minister for Magic wasn’t exactly popular at the moment. Someone like Dumbledore might very well think he wasn’t doing enough to snuff out the Death Eaters, as was the general consensus. 

James didn’t speak for a moment, staring into your eyes. “What’re you thinking?”

“I have no clue,” you said, reeling with the influx of information as you took another long drag.

“Well, I’m coming,” said Sirius, seeming to grow tired of all the talk. “If it’s just a tea party, we can leave early.”

“How can we be sure that's what this is all about?” Lily said, staring at Sirius and James as if they were mad. “What if it’s some sort of trap? You said they were Aurors, for Godric’s sake.”

“It’s Dumbledore,” James said, throwing up a hand, “why would he send us into a trap?”

Remus ran his tongue over his teeth, letting out a long breath. “I’m in.”

“Me too,” Marlene said, standing just a little taller than before.

You turned to James, trying to take in some of his tenacity. “I’ll be there.” 

He smiled, just enough to tell you he was proud. You hated the way you glowed, light under his gaze.

“I guess I will, too,” Lily sighed, crossing her arms as she shot a dissatisfied look around the room. “But if it’s a trap, I’m going to be really cross with all of you.”

“It’s not a trap—” Sirius went on.

You turned around, chuckling at their bickering as you flicked some ash into a vase. As you did, you were suddenly struck with something you had completely forgotten about during the chaos, spinning back around with wide eyes. 

“It’s your birthday!”

James shrugged, not at all bothered that at least you, Lily, and Marlene had neglected to say anything about it to him. “We have bigger problems than my birthday. We can do something when—”

“Absolutely not,” Lily said, turning to the others in shock. While wizards did not tend to place a significant amount of emphasis on the celebration, Lily still took it rather seriously. “Did you remember?”

“Of course we did,” Sirius scoffed. Remus nodded at the statement, running a hand through his hair. 

“I have a gift for you and everything,” you said, frazzled as you remembered it, already wrapped underneath your bed. 

James looked surprised, though that was to be expected. You had never gotten him a gift before, nor had you told anyone else you were doing so this year. It served the dual purpose of acting as a thank you for his help improving your dueling skills. Your face felt warm from the embarrassment of having made your unintended announcement, as you had hoped to keep the matter between you and James, at least for the time being.

“You did?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said sheepishly, wishing you could sink into the floor. “You’ve been helping me out a lot lately and…”

“We’ll give you your presents tonight,” Lily said, walking to the door. “Would you like a cake or something else?”

On everyone's birthday, Lily always went down to the kitchens to politely request a dessert of their choice. She had done it for you, Dorcas, and Marlene since first year, staring with the others when she and James began to date. There was no use in trying to stop her, or do it yourself, so it was best to comply. 

“I don’t want anything,” James said, though Lily was having none of it. 

“He’d like a chocolate cake,” Sirius answered for him.

“That’s your favorite,” Marlene drawled, raising her brows. 

Lily was still staring at James, waiting for his answer. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask for what you got last year.”

James sighed, his head tilting to the side as he thought. “Well, you can’t get me the treacle tart, it’s never as good as my mums.”

“No treacle tart is as good as your mums,” Sirius said, gazing longingly into the distance as if dreaming of Euphemia’s deserts.

“Just get me chocolate,” James said, laughing as Sirius made a show of delight. “Thanks, Lily.”

“My pleasure,” she said, slipping out the door. 

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“Happy birthday dear James, happy birthday to you!”

You all gathered around James in the kitchen, his chocolate cake sitting in front of him at the table. The candles illuminated his face, flickering in the reflection of his glasses. Isby had thrown another fit when you all came down for dinner, since James insisted he would not have his cake without you, though she was eventually swayed. 

“C’mon, mate, make your wish already,” Sirius said, antsy as he eyed the cake.  

Marlene scowled, hitting him on the arm. “You’re always such a piece of work.”

James laughed, his eyes bright as they danced from Sirius to Peter, who was snickering at the argument. They met yours briefly, warm as honey before he closed them, blowing out his candles. 

“Don’t ask me what I wished for, because I won’t tell you,” he said rather seriously.

“What a bore,” Marlene drawled.

Lily shook her head, cutting the cake and giving the first slice to James, despite the fact Sirius had been holding out his hand for the plate. 

“Calm down,” she said, cutting another, “you’ll get yours eventually.”

As a present to yourself, you let your eyes linger on James, teasing Sirius as he took a bite. It was almost two years since you became friends, a year and a half since you started to grow nervous around him, and a month since you admitted to yourself that you loved him. You hoped that cards were right, though it was already starting to feel like they were. You had followed your heart, and now you were collaborating, seeking out the help of others…you would just have to wait and see what came next.

Chapter Eighteen

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