#spiral!reader
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Martin x spiral avatar
“Well it’s like… it’s called Michael but that’s not what that is it’s who he might have used to been but it’s also a real name that is called and when it’s called they’ve’d answer
You know? Like
it’s not it’s name because it is it’s ‘what do they call you’ because it used to be what they’ve’d whold have bean if it was he and he is Michael … does that make sense?”
Martin stands at the counter pouring tea the cup has been long since filled boiling water spills over as he stairs in to nothing not noticing the heater scorching his hand
“Good lord Martin!” you stand and rush over taking the cup and kettle out of his hands “are you okay?!”
The skin on his hand is already starting to blister and bleed
“P-pardon? What- ow oh my god! What’s happened?!”
“That’s not the problem these look like serious burns martin, I’ll drive you to the hospital”
“I- yeah that- that’s a good idea…”
“We should tell Jon before we leave, he’ll freak if we leave without telling him,” you Gide him out of the staff room “you can take a seat and wait for me if you need?”
“I’ll- yeah”
…
Knock knock
“Heyyyyy Jon” you close the door behind you “me and Martin might need the day or so off”
He sighs loudly and you can hear the faint whirring of a tape recorder
“I told you you can’t just take days of to go on dates with martin this is the second time this week and I-“
“No it’s not that, I need to drive Martin to the hospital”
“Why what’s happened? Is it those damed worms again! I said to be careful!” He sighs and mumbles something about how incompetent everyone is
“No, um it’s not that he um- burnt himself making tea spilled hot water on his hand, I was explaining Michael to him and guess he-“
“What?” Jon turns and looks at you
“I need to take him to the emergency room it’s pritty bad and-“
“No no I herd that I don’t care. You were explaining Michael? H-how”
“Well it’s really simple actually if you remember what he looks like it’s not it but it’s them because he is it but it’s not he and vice versa he’s full of nothing and so he’s empty because it’s everything which means they’re are something and they’ve are Michael Because that’s what he’s always been so that’s what it’s not choosing to be, it’s like vanilla flavouring a drop is vanilla and a bottle is vanilla the difference is the concentration even though it’s technically the same concentration the difference is just the amount it’s exactly the same but also extremely different, you understand right?”
He looks just like Martin did a few minutes ago completely frozen in place look around with his eyes trying to calculate something in his head
“I can’t deal with explaining things to you I need to get Martin to the hospital” you walk across the room to the door “huh? I didn’t know where ales to paint our office doors? You made a good choice on the colour though Jon, the yellow really brightens up the room”
Jon perks up “Wait do-!”
You close the door in front of you and turn forward to move to his left you run walk move wander continue stumbling for days which takes seconds to get confudelling to be interested
“This isn’t sensefull” you go in the top of the stairs and turn to you forward and walk out of a painting and are met with a person With curling eyes and panicked hair “oh hello what might you be?”
She turns forward and cocks her head at you “are you the.. thing.. that.. lives? Here”
“Hmm? Do I live or am I just an existence, I think I’m a person I still have existing so I’d say no… so yes I do-not live but I might do it here” your voice comes out crisp and warm like burnt tinfoil you have spoken in a long time so it’s rattling to hear a video and listen to the clear crystallized frames of your voice producing those pictures of words
“Is this it? What door do I take to get out” she shoves a map into you
“Shit! My map! God damn it!” She starts to scratch at your senter trying to grab you out of the map you hold her away from it with your hand
“That’s not vary nice, if you wanted to leave you could have just ask”
“Bloody hell? Fine? How do I leave?” She pops out of nowhere and in to somewhere away
“See all you had to do was ask” you whisper in to her ear
You stand up to the side you head just barely touching the floor no it’s not quite the floor it’s the inside of what what’s you before you whet it
“Ah.. that’s it I’m not Michael.. what am I?.. we should go find out” you walk out of the in and in to the out of the door in the middle of the archives
“Um.. h-hello is someone there?” A voice calls out of a door to and office with the label ‘head archivist’
“If it’s you me.Lukas I-I already told you my answer..”
you close the door and walk out
The man inside stars at you slowly and calls a name
“Is that mine?” You ask
“I-is w-what yours?” He looks around nervously and alert
“My… ‘name’… is that it? Do I own a part of that name, is sounds like a very stupid name,” you repeat the name over and over once
“M-mayby” he seems to be breathing heavily tears stabbing his eyes
You move a finger to his eye he is frozen in fear and you slowly smooth the tear out of his eye with your thumb
“Martin… you should’ve not done that… your much to pretty to be leaking from your eyes…” you stand up straight “hmm strange… how do we might know your name” you laugh like a whiny kicked puppy with four sharp inhales and a soft sigh at the end “how fun..”
White Smokey tendrils form in the corners of the small office as ‘Martin’ stares blankly at you
He sits down in his chair and blows a tendril of smoke of his tea
“Gosh! That’s a nasty burn there! How’d you get it?” He bites his lip and shakes trying to hold back tears but fails miserably as he grips his mug in his hands tendrils of smoke reforming on his tea as more smoke fills the room “what’s wrong Martin? You look upset?”
He shakes in place “leave.”
“Pardon?-“
“LEAVE!” His cup shatters in his hand spilling hot tea onto his hand “fuck!” He runs his hand over his face and chokes back a sob
“Are you alright? That looks like it might’ve been painful if it was hot did you do that on purpose Because if you did it on purpose you shouldn’t have done it at all beca-“
“Stop… just leave… please..”
“Hmm.. alright i suppose,” you walk through the wall in to your door “Good bye, have fun without me I hope”
(I fucking live for writing spiral content!)
#martin blackwood#Martin x reader#tma podcast#Tma#tma spoilers#tma martin#Martin blackwood x reader#tma x reader#the magnus archives#the magnus institute#the spiral#spiral avatar#the lonley#lonely!martin#spiral!reader#x male reader#x reader#x gn reader#x gender neutral reader#tma fic#tma fanfiction#tma fanfic#tma fandom#tma fan content#tma fanwork#marten k blackwood#martin kartin blackwood
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Yaknow yandere spiderverse is fun with many different readers and I’ll I’m imagining is this spider person that’s within his 40s, wearing some kind of crochet item(im thinkin a random brightly coloured trench coat made of random granny squares), aways having his mask on within the society somehow with long curly hair that fits under said mask that’s quite good freinds with Peter.b Parker simply because their within the same age range, this is definitely reader not loosely based on Micheal distortion from the Magnus archives yet I think we should call them distortion!reader or spiral!reader
Also a scenario I think about with this idea is them simply going up to Gwen and tying her hair back for her(…dad mode much?)
Oh I love this so fucking much dude. TEL ME MORE!!!!!!
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wanna hear your mother tongue
[gn! reader x dan heng, jing yuan, blade, jiaoqiu, ratio, aventurine, sunday, & boothill (separate)]
Thinking about how some of the HSR men would react to you calling them a term of endearment in a different language/your native language when you two are NOT an established couple... (for me it would be something along the lines of “cariño” or “mi vida,” but of course you’re welcome to imagine any term from any language that suits you best!)
DAN HENG is confused the first few times you use the nickname. His brow will furrow and he may even adorably tilt his head a bit. He knows by your affectionate tone that it’s not anything bad, but of course, it doesn’t stop him from wanting to know exactly what it means.
He’ll turn to the data bank to look into the term’s origin and meaning, which causes him to fall down a rabbit hole of learning other terms of endearment from your language. You can expect him to shyly call you an endearment back the next time you use one on him, and he’s certainly blushing all the while.
JING YUAN’s smirk and the sparkle in his eyes the first time you let the term of endearment fall from your lips are indicators that you’ve made a terrible mistake. Whether or not you’re familiar with the dialect of the Alliance, he’ll fire a nickname from his own mother tongue right back at you, trying to gain the upper hand by flustering you instead.
And by Lan, does he succeed; you’ll keep the name-calling private and save it for when you two are alone, but he has no qualms about showering you with affection in front of a fleet of Cloud Knights, or even in front of the esteemed Fu Xuan. Good luck trying it on this one— you’ll find yourself in a full-scale flirting war, and this is a battle you can’t win.
BLADE isn’t the most emotive guy out there (when he’s not mara-struck), so it’s hard to gauge his reaction, at first. His blank expression makes it seem like the nicknames just roll off his back, so after a while, you stop using them under the presumption that they make him uncomfortable.
This has the opposite effect, of course, and he starts being a bit clingier than usual and following you around with what is most definitely not a pout on his face. It’s only when Kafka unsubtly points out that you’ve stopped calling him those “cute nicknames” that you put two and two together, and you immediately work to make things right. He may not be the best with words, but he’s happy to show his contentment with your endearments by holding you close to him.
JIAOQIU is flustered the first time, flushing red and ears twitching as he tries to compose himself after being caught off guard. Every time after that, though, he grins and graces you with those gorgeous golden eyes when he hears it. His tail may even start swishing from happiness, but you’ll never comment on it aloud, fearing that he’ll consciously stop it from happening.
His reaction is enough on its own to encourage you to keep calling him those sweet names, but you’re certainly not complaining about the delicious food that he starts bringing you in droves. (It doesn’t have anything to do with your little nicknames, don’t be silly.)
VERITAS most certainly knows what the term means, and that causes him to be even more flustered the first time you use it on him. He’s flushed from head to toe, and whatever tangent he was about to go on is completely lost to him, instead replaced by his silence as he hurriedly leaves wherever you’ve decided to pull this over on him.
He’s prepared the next time you do it, though. He doesn’t so much as bat an eye at the endearment, but he does continue the conversation in your language, speaking it flawlessly. Now it’s your turn to be flustered as you realize you enjoy hearing him speak in your mother tongue more than you care to admit. If there’s a slight smirk on his face from your reaction, neither of you acknowledge it.
AVENTURINE’s reaction is the reverse of how you would expect someone to react: flirt first, get flustered later. He doesn’t need any encouragement to be flirtatious with you, so when he hears the unfamiliar endearment for the first time, he assumes it’s just a normal part of this little game you two have been playing with each other. It’s easy for him to respond with endearments he’d heard older Avgins using growing up, and he even feels a bit giddy being able to use them on you.
Of course, he’s looking up meanings every time a new term pops up in your vocabulary, and his behavior takes a turn when he realizes you’ve started using more intimate endearments— ones typically reserved for spouses instead of those used for casual flirting. You think Aventurine looks good in any color, but you’re definitely partial to the light pink that graces his cheeks when he gets shy.
SUNDAY has been trained to remain carefully composed at all times, but nothing could have prepared him for this. He’s another one that I think would actually know what the endearment means, so he’s immediately blushing and hiding behind his wings— a futile effort, since they’re fluttering far too much to properly serve as a curtain for his flushed face. Once he gathers his bearings, he continues your conversation and acts like it never happened.
He reacts this way the first few times, but as you persist in your efforts, he decides to start playing along. He’s not one to flirt back verbally— he couldn’t possibly make his intentions too obvious— but he does take pleasure in the fact that he can have the same effect on you. If you try to comment on the way that he stands and sits much closer to you now or that his hands linger on your skin far longer than usual, an expression of innocence and casual deflection is all you’re met with. And don’t you dare try to take the endearments back from him now— he’ll only fluster you more until you start calling him those pretty names again.
BOOTHILL takes a few seconds to realize exactly what’s happening, but once he does, you’re in danger. His confusion at the word almost distracts him from the tone you used while saying it, but he catches on quickly and is grinning widely when he does, all sharp teeth and adoration. He returns the favor in kind, and from that point forward you can expect to exclusively be referred to as “sweetheart,” “sugar,” “beau,” and the like.
He can’t get enough of the way the words roll off your tongue, and the sound of it gets him more drunk than any whiskey ever could. Keep things up, and you might find yourself being pulled toward him by the waist as he puts his hat on your head, finally making his feelings for you crystal clear.
#incredibly self-indulgent post#i admit this started with me imagining calling sunday “cariño” and it spiraled from there#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr dan heng x reader#dan heng x reader#hsr jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x reader#hsr blade x reader#blade x reader#hsr jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu x reader#hsr ratio x reader#ratio x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#aventurine x reader#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x reader#hsr boothill x reader#boothill x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#ceru.writes
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— PUSH AND PULL : honkai star rail.
premise. as someone who's always believed in the term “try and try again,” (peak delusion, you know) rooting yourself in their heart has always been your goal, no matter the cold rejections and curt declines you receive. however, even you have your limits; perhaps this little push and pull you two have going isn't worth your time after all... but what happens then, if the chaser becomes the chased? (oh, how the turns have tabled.)
...or, when you play hard to get with them.
— ft. sunday, aventurine, jing yuan.
warnings: angst n fluff, messy messy, these boys are in love but are wayyy too chicken to admit they actually adore you, genderless reader.
a/n. inspired by @/xiaowhore's playing hard to get headcanons! my holy trinity 😇 n MY FAVES RAHHH
NEXT : BACK TO MASTERLIST || ASKBOX
SUNDAY is perplexed. very much aware of his qualities which enlists him as one of the finer (finest) bachelors of Penacony (he was the Robin's one and only blood, and was also the head of one of the main guiding forces of the Family, after all), sunday isn't sure he's ever come across someone as.... tenacious as you.
foolish, to be more precise, for he cannot for the life of him comprehend exactly why you are the way you are with... him.
no matter his respectful declines of your invitations to promenade around Penacony (re: going on dates), you really didn't know how to leave him be. though he hasn't exactly said he hated it, sunday was, admittedly, rather... affronted. your gifts, in particular, were your loud declarations of your affection (that make his wings flutter more rapidly than he'd like); but sunday was rather inconvenienced at the whole thing.
nonetheless, he does still accept them. reluctantly, mind you. not because he was fond of your constant shower of affections, which seemed so permanent that he began to look forward to them got used to it. to your credit, your gifts were very much to his tastes. (Robin once gave him a rather soul-searching look when he found himself wearing the gloves you gifted, light blue and white in color. he still uses it, just not when his sister is in the vicinity.)
in fact, perhaps he may have gotten too comfortable. little by little, your constant intrusions on his time have thawed a way to his heart; making sunday look forward to your jovial greetings and grandeur elaborations on your day, and such a thing makes him feel scared sunday needed to nip this in the bud, and fast.
so he confronts you, abruptly one day as you give him his newest gift—a jewelry box for his earrings. (surely, the rapid thumping of his heart was due to his irritation at your constant persistence, right?) “i'm afraid this can no longer continue. i am flattered by your... fancy for me, but i do not wish to enter a relationship in the near future.”
the utter silence that follows is torture to him—but he endures. he tries not to look at the momentary flash of hurt on your face. you seemed to quickly recover, though. giving him a simple smile (it didn't reach your eyes. it shocks him how his chest ached at the realization) and shaking your head when he returns the gift to you.
“i understand, mr. sunday.” the formal usage of his name instead of your chipper ‘sunday!’ makes his face twitch. “but please, keep the gift. think of this as my last declaration. it... would do me a great comfort, just this last time, if you accepted it instead.”
(if he had grabbed your hand at that moment as you left for the door, would he regret it?)
when you leave, sunday thought it would put the conflicting feelings in his mind at ease—but it doesn't. a week and two days counting, true to your word, sunday receives no flagrant gifts, nor little messages on his phone that tell him to take care of himself, to eat, and to make sure to remember to check up on Robin.
instead, contrary to the feeling of ease, regret follows him instead.
it's at two weeks and five days counting when sunday could no longer stand the sight of papers that stacked atop his desk and the image of you leaving for the door replaying in his head far too many times for him to count, that he contacts Robin.
and she, once hearing about the situation, gives him a very, very enlightening talk. (of course, not without giving her brother a lecture of the lifetime. part of him felt shame to know that his sister knew of his... turbulent love life, but she was the only one who he could trust, anyway).
“absence makes the heart grow fonder,” she says. “but in your case, brother, your heart has already decided it's course, right?”
sunday eyes the smooth velvet of the jewelry box you gifted, ruminating. his earrings lie there, carefully pristine and beautiful, gold and silver intertwined. he has worn them without fail, clean and spotless. (of course it was. such a design so intricate was only chosen by you. the thought makes his ears warm).
the next days are agonizing. vigor renewed and epiphanies well-spent, sunday spends the rest of his time after finishing his duties researching and painstakingly finding the best jeweller he can find (even employing the suggestions of a certain gambler, much to his dislike), and spending a god awful amount of time revisiting and rechecking which spots you like, which places you enjoy, to the point it comes up in Penacony's headlines that sunday is interested in someone.
surely, it should've reached your ears by now, yes? sunday panics. your preferences are well-accounted for, and he's sure the Bloodhound family members that report to him have to tell you that the person he had in mind was you. even Robin, who was your closest friend, has probably told you already.
it's embarrassing to admit, but; to hell with it, the day he meets you after three weeks and sees you having a pleasant chat with aventurine, of all people, sunday thinks his heart had shattered into little pieces and stabbed themselves into his body. not so much as sparing him a glance, moreso.
so when, finally at his wits end, sunday chooses to corner you at the dewlight pavilion and spills out how he has royally screwed up in the worst way possible, no one is surprised. at this rate, you would be swept up in the charms of that wretched gambler, and what sunday lacked in, aventurine more than made up for.
“wait, don't go to that gambler just yet.” he's breathless, he's chaotic—and something in his heart squeezes when you finally look at him. “i... i wish to take up your time now, if that's possible.” (he wishes he would take up your time forever, really, but that was still too early).
you eye his getup. all of your gifts, lined on the man you spent so long chasing after—you see the gloves you gifted, the tie with not so much as a single crease, and the earrings that shine more brightly in the light of the pavilion. (it suits him. like you) it was as if sunday had completely surrendered himself to you, had all but decided to proclaim that he was yours, and this was nothing short of a plea for you to hear him.
“please.” he says. almost begs. “i can't bear not seeing you anymore. allow me to correct such a damning mistake.”
and if you were skeptical, the way sunday looks at you would dispel any doubt you could ever have. (his wings, they were fluttering.)
(months later, after a nerve-ending confession, many days of dinners, shared gifts involving matching jewelry and promenading to your wishes, it dawns on sunday he was absolutely dancing to your tune. did he regret it, though?
....no, most certainly not.)
if AVENTURINE were to be honest with himself, he saw you as a useful “friend” rather than a romantic interest. was it bad of him? of a sort. but risk cutting himself open and letting someone he might grow to care for know about all the ugliness that follows his life? no, he's fine as it is, thanks.
the first thing he notices is that you're kind—though he distrusted most of his colleagues and preferred none to get close to him, aventurine, in some morbid moment of curiosity, instead allowed himself to bask in your attention. instead of curtly disparaging you, he flirts back at your compliments (the way your face heated up in return was far too endearing that he can't help but want to kiss you he finds it amusing) and consistently texts you a “did you get home safe” or a “i bought you this because it reminded me of you”; at this point, it was like you two were dating.
was it leading you on? yes, but he supposes it was a win-win; he could send you those tiny bits of validation that was enough for you to stay respectfully at a distance while he probed at your intentions. unlike others who attempt to garner his favor, you're genuine, and you seriously take the time to know him. because you always text back with hearts, always reassure him, tell him to stay safe and wish him luck at every gamble, every high stakes bet he finds himself in. you even complimented his perfume once (and, if he had to be honest, he could not stop thinking about it all day—because that perfume he commissioned exclusively was based off of your own favorite scents and it was extremely embarrassing that he loved hugging you knowing that you loved the way he smelled and that it felt extremely domestic).
(sometimes, he doesn't reply. for months on end. suddenly the golden-haired man you love goes cold and you know then that aventurine ghosts you and then returns when he's in need of a friend—never a lover. it hurts you, but at the very least, you know he cares in his own way.)
and, if aventurine had to be honest, it was killing him from the inside bit by bit. as if to drive the knife deeper, you never danced around what exactly was going on with you two. you never ask why he ghosts you, then sends you a bundle of gifts all of a sudden and then rapidly spends time with you and repeating the cycle. no, you were consistently by his side, so warm and so caring—so unlike him—that aventurine wonders if it's really all right to open his heart to you.
if, by some chance, he actually wanted to be with you, would you treat him even more sweetly than before? aventurine thinks you would—you were beautiful in your entirety, and he was practically undeserving of you. he imagines himself kissing your hand and having you in his arms—and that feels like ice cold water being dumped onto his head, because you could do so much better and yet, why him?
so when aventurine hears about how a certain doctor was visiting you for some unknown reason, his already fragile sense of security in this little will-they, won't they crumbles.
and when he finds out that you were staying over with ratio? something twisted lodges itself in the little brushes of his heart, coiling and coiling—making him feel green. aventurine is aware you and the doctor are good friends, and ratio was the one who even told you to make a move on him! how could he just—suddenly interrupt?!
(was it dramatic? extremely. but knowing his friend and the person he secretly adores might end up together? you can't really blame him.)
he supposes this can be attributed to him. it was an egregious mistake, a blunder aventurine made—he never gave you a clear sight of whether he truly loved you or not and now you're slipping away from him.
so, he does something very unexpected.
at 3:00 AM in the wee early morning hours, aventurine practically barges into one Dr. veritas ratio's home, demanding what the hell was going on between you. and as if he had expected it, his doctor friend merely gives him a shrug in return.
“perhaps they were simply getting fed up by a certain IPC member—who is clearly head over heels in love with them—giving them mixed signals.” ratio's tone is stern, and aventurine definitely knows that the look he gives him is the one he gives only to fools.
you idiot, the doctor seems to say. yeah, yeah, he is; aventurine ignores the clear pinprick at his dignity.
yes, he supposes he is the fool here. “ah.”
“yes, ‘ah,’ indeed. now, let me propose a question.” the purple-haired man says. “will you react in such a way when i tell you that in order for my friend to stop their anguish, i managed to get them to fraternize with one of my colleagues?”
“...what?”
“they will be having a meet-up seven system hours from now.” ratio shrugs. eyes aventurine, who's looking at him like a gaping, stupid fish. “i can only hope that no one would dare to disrupt.”
...it doesn't take him long to be rid of the gambler by then.
(a few hours later, you stop by the Intelligentsia Guild to see one veritas ratio with a smug smile, eyeing the fur coat draped around your shoulders, and the flushed and happy expression written on your face.
“did it work?” he asks.
you laugh, “splendidly.”
indeed, that gambler was a fool, and there's nothing more than dr. ratio loved than to educate such fools to shape.
“that will teach him.”)
as a quote unquote ‘old man’ who knows that he's well up in his years for a relationship, JING YUAN finds you to be quite amusing.
it doesn't take a detailed analysis to know that you were smitten with him, really. you're a complete open book by his standards—if your heated face and slightly airy voice whenever you were even placed in the same vicinity with the Dozing General was anything to come by. while flattering, he also shares the similar mindset of being too old for any love his way—and he could be mara-struck at any given time, and jing yuan does not wish such a life filled with anguish and pain for the one who may steal his heart. but, worry not, brave suitor of the Arbiter General! unlike the other two above, this man has the experience of millenia, and is open-minded and aware that you truly wish to be perceived as a potential lover.
in fact, jing yuan's recent favorite habit is sneaking off the Seat of Divine Foresight purely to freak you out, watching you scramble up your words, seeing the heat crawl up your nape and bloom all across your face. adorable. you certainly knew how to appeal, that's for sure.
(“heh, it seems i've found a new place to stay in so that the Diviner Fu won't grill me alive when she sees me.”
and when he's rewarded with a bashful and speechless look in return, a smile and your, “i'm glad, general.” it surprisingly lightens up his mood by more than he expected.
that, in turn, gives him a frightening 30% energy boost; fu xuan was utterly shocked to see the languid man actually working and looking like he enjoyed it, for once.
“did something good happen today, jing yuan? why so enthusiastic?”
“i just felt like working more than usual, diviner Fu. i seem to have my energy levels at a high.”)
now, jing yuan is considerate and perceptive first and foremost, so there's a high chance that out of all the men here, he is the most open to giving you the chance to pursue him. he does inform you beforehand that he has no plans of accepting your confessions in the future, and that is where the ‘hard to get’ part comes in.
it's like playing a confusing romance visual novel with a fickle love interest—you never really know what you're doing, whether it's something jing yuan would like or not, and you don't know if he even thinks your attempts are moving his heart. (tldr: he friend zones you).
he maintains the same distance no matter his banters with you, no matter how many times you tell him that you'd help yanqing out with sword lessons. it's like he was just... treating you as he would a friend, and that you were basically stuck in the friend-zone forever.
(he keeps it to himself, but something warm stirs in his chest when he sees yanqing sleeping on your shoulder after training practice, with your arm protectively around the boy's side.
your sleeping face didn't make it easy to look away either; it's one of the few moments in which jing yuan shows just the slightest bit of reciprocating your pursuits; he brushes back the stray hairs covering your face, and drapes a blanket over the two of you.
of course, perhaps to tease yanqing, he also takes the calligraphy brush and makes a work out of his face, doodling all over it.
when you wake up, there's a lingering scent of ink and yellowed paper that fills your senses. when you turn to the boy beside you, you almost giggle out loud.)
it's a little disheartening—and while jing yuan did acknowledge that you were slowly, slowly burrowing yourself in his heart, he doesn't act on it fast enough, and instead lets the realization sit in his mind for a while.
it gets to the point where it feels as though he were preparing to distance himself, and even yanqing had asked if he was well. your visits with the Arbiter General also decrease, as he suddenly buried himself in his work even more than before.
he doesn't get to see you all that much afterwards, despite the lingering feeling of missing you filling his heart.
....that's until jing yuan hears word of a recent mara-struck incident involving the Sky-faring Commission; with your name listed among those heavily injured.
when he visits Bailu's clinic after yanqing urges him, jing yuan takes in the sight of you, littered in injuries from head to toe. your life, about to snap. he never even told you that you won; you did manage to steal his heart and for the first time in a long time, jing yuan allows himself to love.
so if, after three weeks later when you're finally healed up and ready to go, jing yuan brings you into his arms and drags you to let him sleep in your lap, you can't really blame him now, can you?
a/n: i love yearner hsr men,,, might do a pt 2 though. thinking of mayb ratio, jiaoqiu and f/heng next time...... sighs dreamily
@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.
#mhie's spirals#—stellaronhvnters.#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x you#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#sunday x you#sunday x y/n#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#aventurine x y/n#hsr aventurine#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x y/n#jing yuan x you#hsr jing yuan#honkai star rail#x reader#hsr fanfic#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#self insert#hsr fluff#honkai star rail x reader
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simon eats it sloppy.
through the mask, slobbering on his hands and knees like the mutt he truly is; like his only salvation is the ichor that drips between your thighs. like your cunt is the only thing that could save his wretched, blackened soul. he wants to roll in the tang that'll stay on the back of his tongue for weeks into deployment, that'll stay soaked into the fabric of his balaclava because fok no he isn't washing it before he leaves (he'll nearly tears the thing to shreds when he can no longer smell you on it).
large, calloused palms scratch over the sensitive skin of your quads and inner thighs as he opens you up for him, watches your folds part like that of a carnation (love, devotion, distinction, fascination) as he pushes your knees up to your chest. drags his tongue all over you, the creases where your vulva and thighs meet and gets you shaking before he's even touched your clit. before he's even taken the mask off. brushes his thumb over the little bud reverently, fondly. he thinks the way your thighs tremble in response is the most precious fucking thing.
and when he finally breaks watching you drip onto the cushions below, he's feral. rabid. barely gets the damned mask up to free his mouth before he's on you again, slurping up your slick and sucking your clit into his mouth. the suction is heavenly after so much teasing, and if his tongue finds its way to your ass too, that's his business. your toes curl in the air where your feet dangle uselessly, panties you're sure that simon will pocket later still around one ankle.
simon's relentless when he's like this, a dog chasing after it's favorite toy. he won't let up, won't even palm over his cock until you're at least three climaxes deep from his mouth alone. totally pussydrunk and ready for more.
#abrupt ending im so sorry.#simon#simon x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost#ghost x reader#mine#smut without plot is actually so fuckign hard.#it feels Lacking bc i wanna overexplain but im Trying not to. dont drag me please#also slick is so omega codedbut i hate Every Other Word. juices ... nectar ... please make it stop#i thnk ill try the bullet point format next time.??!im high and spiraling x
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Cry, Baby
Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: Joel fucks you to the point of tears. That’s all.
Warnings: 18+. Dacryphilia (kinda). Unprotected p-in-v. Girthy, unspecified age gap. Daddy kink. Jealous Joel.
Notes: Sorry for using pussy pronouns. It will happen again.
Joel Miller was a man of few words in most every place except the one where he found himself about to beat the brakes off your pussy. Then he never shut the fuck up.
“Uh-huh…just a little more…I know, sweet girl, I know.”
You had your hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel of his ‘71 Ford F-100, but rather than driving anywhere, your ass was comfortably parked on the front of his jeans—straddling his lap backwards while you rubbed your half-clad cunt over stonewashed denim. It was hell.
You’d been grinding against the bulge beneath those jeans so hard, and for so long, your white cotton undies had parted to the side, and your pleasure was nearly stretched commensurate with just how pathetic you felt.
Your head dropped between your two hands on the black molded plastic of the wheel, and you let out a whine.
“Joel—”
“Keep goin’.”
“This ain’t fair!”
Without hesitation, the hands that were holding your hips tightened their grip, and now Joel was raking your lower half over his. Rutting your core back and forth.
“You wanna know what ain’t fair?” he seethed.
He didn’t wait for you to answer.
“How much she’s been droolin’ over me all night.”
‘She’ meaning your unfucked cunt, of course.
Joel then punctuated his sentence with a particularly hard press of his palm—forcing you to lay flat on the steering wheel, hips tilted back to him. With just one callused finger of his other hand, he found you soaked between your folds. He dragged it from your clit to your aching hole, and you heard him sigh, as though sad.
“It’s a cryin’ shame,” Joel said. Lamenting.
You were almost lost to the sensation of his finger rubbing you up and down, but somehow, you managed, ‘W-W-What is, Joel?’ in between soft, plaintive sounds.
Sometimes you forgot how much older he was than you. Sometimes you said he was just like the boys your age. Other times he had you pinned like this, breaths calm and cruelly measured while you damn near came apart beneath his hand, and then you remembered everything.
“You just couldn’t wait ‘til we got home,” he grumbled.
Using the same hand he’d been stroking you with, Joel laid a quick slap to your cunt, and you jumped. Your head narrowly missed the roof of his truck; still, you groaned.
“‘M’sorry, Joel,” you keened.
You weren’t. The old man knew you weren’t.
The hand that had been splayed over your back sank in. The force of that push pressed your belly to the chipped Ford logo at the center of the steering wheel, and with the added pressure went the blare of the car’s horn.
The sound might’ve lasted two seconds before you scrambled back, desperate, into Joel’s broad chest. A couple old-timers making their way from the bar to their cars in the parking lot cocked their heads curiously in your direction a couple yards away. Seeing nothing of note, they lost interest just as quick and kept walking.
“Sorry for what?” Joel said.
At the moment, he didn’t seem to notice, or care, that his truck was parked a mere stone’s throw away from the Tipsy Bison, and bar-goers were milling freely between the building and the cars all around you. His belt unbuckled all the same, zip came down in a blink, and his thick, veiny, throbbing, and angry cock came to rest between your cheeks. He started to push you forward.
“Sorry for— for flirtin’ with Tommy,” you stammered, sucking in a breath when you felt him run the head of his cock between your lips. You could hear a soft squelch.
“And Lucien?”
“And Lucien.”
“And—”
“And Dieter, and Frankie, and Javi, and Marcus.”
Rattling off the names of all the men you’d been flirting with at the bar to make Joel jealous and take you back home to fuck you became an embarrassing chant.
“And?”
“…and Mayor Garcia,” you completed, sheepishly.
Back in there, you hadn’t been too proud to stoop to a politician’s level, even. That was how needy you’d been to get attention, and now Joel was giving it to you.
As hard as he could—he didn’t wait for the ‘OK’ before seating you on his cock. You were simply pulled back from the wheel and into his lap, onto his stiff erection, and before you could steady yourself, he started drilling.
“Even through these panties—” Joel tugged at the cream-colored cotton he’d easily slipped past, “—even through that slutty little skirt, I could feel how wet she was.”
Your eyes squeezed shut, and your hands found purchase in the torn-up leather of the seat, fisting strings and patches of fabric in a helpless sort of plea as Joel took over. With the buttons of his dark green flannel searing a stripe down your spine and his grey-speckled chin coming to nudge between your neck and your shoulder as he fucked you, you felt content. Secure.
Spilling more for him, then. Seeping rivers down the length of his shaft as he breached your walls and made you his all over again. And again. Leaving trails of arousal with every thrust, and rolling your head, limply, into his.
“She cryin’ for me?” Joel breathed, “Or somebody else?”
As if on cue, his cock hit the most sensitive ridge inside you, and you felt yourself gush even more. Dripping now.
“You.” Your voice was raw.
“Me?” Joel’s degradingly sweet.
Before you could answer ‘you’ once more, the driver’s door cracked open beside you both. For one panicked, terrifying second, you thought someone from the bar might’ve caught you two—then you were stunned to look over and see it was Joel’s own tough, steel-toed boot that had propped the door open to the cool night air.
The truck was facing the bar’s front door, shielded only by some foliage and a hatchback car about half its size. Other than that, you were exposed to whoever happened to pass by the big, bay window and take a look inside.
Joel felt you tense, and he pressed a kiss to you neck. Then he slid you carefully, almost tenderly, to the left until you were perched over the side of the seat with your legs dangling out of the truck—still filled to the hilt with his cock and pressed tight to the front of his chest.
“Cry a little more,” he urged.
Then, when your pussy gave an involuntary clench and drenched him some more, he slipped a hand around your front and started toying with your clit. Your gaze was wide, almost frightened as you stared ahead at the bar and saw patrons making rounds about the tiny place, fearing one might see you and Joel, but it felt so good. And wrong. And reckless, having this man who was easily decades your senior bouncing you up and down on his cock and letting you soil the front of his Wranglers.
“Pussy’s fuckin’ soakin’ me, pretty girl,” Joel let out a chuckle and gave your shoulder a playful bite when you pulsed around him again, “Squeezin’ me real tight, too.”
It was like your body was beyond your own control. You scarcely even realized your cunt had him gripped with such force, much less made a mess of his old denim. He just held you to him and kept pressing rough, stubbled kisses to your shoulder, reminding you over and over how sweet you were, how well you were taking him, how nice and tight and goddamn pretty that pussy must’ve looked gushing around daddy’s cock—maybe we can fuck in front’a the mirror so we can see it later, huh, baby?
You would’ve said yes to anything he said, you reckoned.
Especially when his arms moved over your front and you felt him grin, and he hugged you while he fucked you—nobody made you feel quite as special while they were splitting you open. Nobody’s balls felt quite as heavy and firm and full while hitting your ass by turns, and certainly no one but Joel could make you cum just as quick when he leaned into your ear and said, ‘Let go for me, darlin’.’
You did, and you felt his warmth follow inside you with the friction of just two more thrusts. Your head fell back on his shoulder, a moan clawed out of your throat, and the warm, euphoric feeling of release washed over your senses in waves, one trembling sensation after the next. Joel’s groans were quick to spill into your own, and, likewise emptying himself, he held your hips to his and made sure every drop stayed right where he wanted it.
His spend was always heavy, but this load felt larger than usual—like he’d been aching to fuck you full of his cum. Just as you both were coming down from your highs, you couldn’t help but key in on that soft, sticky warmth, likely to come oozing as soon as Joel pulled out of you.
In fact, you got to be so focused that you jumped when you felt something press to your cheek a second later.
It took another moment to register it as a kiss from Joel.
Then his tongue, dragging softly up the side of your face.
You started to laugh, about to ask him what the hell he was doing, when you felt a tear slip out of your other eye. With the sudden, sharp influx of pleasure, the moisture had leaked out without you even feeling it. Joel grinned.
He gave your cheek a light squeeze, wiped the other tear with the pad of his thumb, and kissed you again before mumbling in your ear, almost teasing as he said it:
“Crybaby.”
#MEAN JOEL THE MAN THAT YOU ARE…….....…#MARCH MADNESS BUT IT’S JUST ME SPIRALING OVER OLD MAN **** 😔#ALABAMA TO THE FINAL FOUR THO LFGGGGG#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller smut#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us fic#joel miller x you
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JUST ONE NIGHT WITH THIS MAN.
or a whole life by his side
#this scene sends me spiralling#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas alexander chavez#father charlie mayhew#miyah's personal . . . 𓂃✮‧₊˚໒꒱ ₊ ִ ࣪ ♱
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*peeks*
Blue Collar Price with fat/plus size younger wifey?
*runs away*
(Also ily have a good day mumma bear!)
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mechanic Price with a sweet little baker as a wife
meeting you on his lunch hour with the guys, he’s immediately smitten when you hand over his tart, giving him a sweet little smile before disappearing back in the kitchen
would start to come in every chance he gets, ordering treats for the whole garage if it gave him time to just sit and admire you, lapping up the way your sweet dresses give him the perfect view of your cleavage, some days those pretty fat tits of yours threatening to spill out to his eager eyes
it takes him a total of 5 months to ask you to dinner, and four total dinners before he has you ass up on his bed, watching the way your ass jiggles with every thrust of his hips, one hand gripping your hair to keep your head up so you can hear those gorgeous sobs of his name
Usually tries to clean up a little before he sees you, but the first time you drop by the garage with his lunch he forgot to grab, and he’s already covered in grease and has his jumpsuit off his arms and tied around his waist
He got his lunch and a very enthusiastic blow job in the back that day
#i have to stop myself because i can spiral out of control#i literally just thought about Price being a mechanic last night#and now i am just#clawing at the walls#john price x reader#captain john price#cod price
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flirty playboy x mature male reader
this stupid ass meme had been on my mind forever and i realised how funny it would be to have a slutty playboy who just sleeps with anyone to seriously pine over a more mature, secure guy who doesn't fall for any of his shallow charms and tricks.... here are just some blurbs of their dynamic (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)
his name is roman. he's a little toxic, but he just wants to be loved.
cw: some smut, top male reader
it all started with a little night out. you didn't do those often, due to devoting most of your time towards work and earning a stable career, but finishing this particularly gruelling assignment called for a celebration. at the bar, dancing with your friends, a good-looking man with a playful glint in his eyes approached you full of bravado. he told you how handsome you were, and had been eyeing you from across the room for a while now. but from a single glance, you could tell he was the type to break hearts. beach-blonde dyed hair, a tight fitting tank top revealing his muscular build, an eyebrow piercing, the way his mouth curled up so subtly into a little smirk.... he was everything you knew to avoid getting serious with. but a little hookup couldn't hurt, right? you deserved a little fun.
and it didn't hurt you at all. a few failed relationships had made you wise beyond your years, knowing to easily seperate the good guys from the bad. you knew your self-worth. roman, on the other hand, was absolutely smitten. no other man had fucked him THIS good, gave him such gentle aftercare, and even let him stay as long as he needed. the way you so effortlessly lifted his legs up to thrust in and out of him at a rhythmic pace, or fondling his tits and squeezing his nipples softly while you hit it from the back, or tenderly running your fingers down his spine, arching it sensually.... he loved it all. it was clear to him that you prioritised his pleasure as much as your own, and it showed in how he orgasmed several times before you even came in him once, panting breathlessly while wearing the sluttiest expression of his life. it was nothing like any of the men he had sex with before. afterwards, you let him stay the night in a guest room, and even brewed a cup of coffee for him in the morning.
roman was damn near tears when you offered to drop him off at his house before you headed off to work. if he was being honest with himself, his insecurities were the root of his constant need for sexual intimacy, so being treated with genuine kindness for once was new to him.
"is dropping you off here alright?" you ask, turning into the road of his apartment complex.
"y-yeah...." he looks out the window, unsure how to look you in the eyes.
"okay. thanks for last night. stay safe." your words carried an air of finality to them, like you were so sure the two of you would never cross paths again. he didn't like that.
"uh, uh......" he stuttered, all his usual flirtatiousness thrown out the window as he couldn't meet your gaze. "could i... get your number?"
your friendly smile froze on your face. "uhhhh.... sorry, i'm not really looking for anything serious right now."
he quickly regained his composure, charm turned up to the max. shifting his tank top so more of his chest was exposed and you could notice his nipples protruding, roman whispered in a low tone, "that's okay! we can just be casual... and fuck anytime you like." a wink. a hand on your thigh.
"jeez... okay, no offense, but i've heard rumours from my friends that you're a bit of a... playboy. i'm not interested in being your toy, sorry."
roman's face flushed in embarrassment, knowing what you said was true. except the part on him seeing you as a toy. that was untrue. he could feel a warmth growing from the pit of his stomach at the thought of spending more time with you. were these... butterflies?
maybe begging would work.
"okay fine, i am a bit of a player... but please, please, pleaseeeeeee.... let's be in contact, okay? as friends?" roman sniffled pathetically, shaking your shoulder in desperation. he needed to be in your presence. why weren't his usual maneating tactics working?!?!
"alright. here you go. just don't spam me or anything, okay? i gotta go for work. see you." you sigh, a little exasperated but choosing not to let it show. he immediately lit up, typing your number in his contacts and saving many hearts next to your name. you prayed your acts of basic human decency wouldn't cause him to catch feelings. you needed to focus on your job right now.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
3:02pm
[romanbabyxx]
hiiiiiii
[romanbabyxx]
i know you said not to spam you but like
[romanbabyxx]
i miss u
[romanbabyxx]
can we meet up at the bar for drinks or something like that? please?
3:10pm
you check the messages on your phone, rolling your eyes and ignoring them. he was probably sending this text to at least three other guys right now. he had a history of cheating, based on what you heard from your friends. you weren't going to be another one of his victims.
5:35pm
[romanbabyxx]
are u ignoring me?
[romanbabyxx]
im sorryyyyyyyy
[romanbabyxx]
pls hit me back when ur free
7.30 pm
[name]
sorry, just got off work. will be super busy this week, so not free. mb.
[romanbabyxx]
oh, its okay! next week then?
[name]
i'll see
this went on for a few weeks, you constantly evading his invitations, being polite and professional, never too intimate over text. roman was starting to get fed up. he's so used to getting everything he wants, he doesn't know what to do when he actually has to work for the one he desires. he actually hadn't hooked up with anyone since your one night stand, but you didn't believe that.
roman was at his wits' end. he could only think of one final plan to get your attention.
trying to make you jealous.
over the next week, he hooked up with any and everyone he met in the bar, not bothering to keep his slutting around discreet. he wanted you to hear the rumours. he wanted you to feel a sense of unease within your very being. he wanted you to feel possessive. he wanted you, to want him. the whole time, even as he was getting fucked, he could only imagine you caressing him, holding him close, loving him.
his deeds didn't go unnoticed. your friends told you about it, yet you didn't feel anything in the slightest. you were right, after all... he forgot about you within a week and moved on to whichever poor man he would leave high and dry next.
the next time you bumped into him at the bar, roman was his usual, party-loving self, excitedly slinging an arm around you, a drink in hand. his plan had to work, surely? you would be begging to have him back. but yet, when he offhandedly (yet so intentionally) mentioned how much dick he had been getting the past week, anticipating your change in expression, nothing happened. "oh. good for you." was all you said.
he sputtered, flustered by your calm demeanour. didn't you care? at all?! "but.... but.... aren't you jealous? that i've been hooking up with other guys?!"
you stare at him, a genuine quzzical expression plastered across your face. "why would i be? it's not like we're dating or anything. it was just a one time thing."
your words hit like a knife through his heart. he clutched his chest dramatically, a pout forming on his lips. "i'll be faithful! i promise!" his words came out more desperate than he intended. he felt so vulnerable, so naked, yet you were the face of serenity. your unimpressed eyes stared through his soul, as if you were scrutinising his very core. he knew you could heal him, make him feel loved, but he was starting to doubt there was any possibility you would feel the same.
"i'm sure that's what you said to the last guy you cheated on."
.
.
.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
i intended for this to be lighthearted but why was it actually kinda depressing tbh
#male reader#dom male reader#top male reader#bottom male character#sub male character#playboy x male reader#wrioluvr: roman#i admire ppl who can just write pure smut with graphic descriptions coz i end up spiraling into a full mini plot everytime crying emoji
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everything, but not anything
- gojo satoru x reader
you were his last remainder of the happiest blue spring in his life, until your untimely demise. and on the death's door, he finally found you again.
genre/warnings: angsty wangsty, consolation towards the end
notes: i said i can't create gojo fics without feeling depressed, so here i present to you, angst. it's inspired from a thread in twitter i read about how gojo was given everything but he couldn't do anything and my heart just incredibly hurts and―this happened. it's unedited because the idea popped into my mind at 1 in the morning
i wrote this while listening to this wonderful song. consider it the theme song for this piece. i highly recommend you to read this and listen to it!
[update] sequel -> found you
general masterlist
You were so pretty. So really pretty, in fact. And he likes pretty things. Perhaps that was what spurred him to spontaneously ask you out.
You declined him at first―after all, he was a special grade weirdo. And you half-expected him to give up soon enough, only that he didn't. He persisted like a cockroach, smothering you with his very being. Then like a sweet romance novel, you too finally fell for him, melting at his clumsy attempts to woo you.
And by God, you were happy together. To Satoru, it was the brightest, most vibrant page in his life. And with his very being, he would do everything he could to protect you. After all, he was blessed with the best, he had all means to protect you.
He should've known better.
It started with his failed star plasma vessel mission. Riko was dead, and at that time he was just numb. Later, he made excuses. He couldn't have foreseen that a sorcerer killer would join the fray and made a mess of things.
But then his best friend, Suguru, left. Satoru couldn't make excuses any longer. For that, he was wholly responsible. From then, he realized that just being strong wasn't enough. And throughout those dark days, you were with him, consoling him as you brought his head to your chest, letting him sleep in your arms.
"Don't ever leave me, okay?" he whispered at the dead of the night with hoarse voice. It made your heart sting. You nodded and ran your fingers throughout his hair, mumbling a soft "of course."
And you never did. You were always by his side.
Satoru was really grateful for that. To have the last years of your life by his side. Looking back, it was like a beautiful mirage.
He had hidden himself behind the facade of the strongest. The unreachable. Untouchable. It felt nice, still is. Before he had known it, he had drawn this line between himself and other people. Between him and you. He wasn't lonely, but he was at the very same time.
And perhaps he had gotten way too arrogant, and thus the heavens decided to humble him.
He couldn't prevent the Shibuya Incident from happening. Worse, he fell into the enemy's hand and got sealed, and just before he was trapped inside that accursed box, he saw you die. And even after the most excruciating 19 days of his life afterwards, he couldn't do anything about it.
Your face haunted him. The tears you shed for him still lingered at the tips of his fingertips. The blood from your mouth still soaked his vision.
"Satoru..." you croaked. You were afraid. Afraid of dying, but most of all, afraid of leaving him. You had promised him once, on the bunkbed of your dorms back in Jujutsu High, that you wouldn't leave him. Tears wouldn't stop falling from your beautiful eyes.
Satoru burned that image on his mind. He wanted to hate himself with every fiber of his being, but then you said the most damnable thing possible.
"Thank you... for everything..."
And you had a smile on your face. In your last moments, you decided to convey how much he meant to you in this life. How much you cherished him. You prayed with all your heart that it would reach him.
And once again, just like the first day he saw you at the training grounds of Jujutsu High, Satoru found you to be really breathtaking. You were beautiful even as you laid dying. Even as his visions were obscured as he fell into the darkness.
Inside the prison realm where time passed long and uncertain, he made himself numb once again.
You were his most cherished figment of the most precious memory held in his heart―the three years of his youth. He wouldn't have changed anything about it. He was devastated, severely so, but so did the sweetness aftertaste he felt.
Your feelings reached him, and because of that, even if the road ahead was long and hard and painful, he would stay on that road.
If it meant he could meet you again on the other side of this dream... he'd stay and move towards tomorrow, no matter how bleak it was.
When his comrades freed him from the prison realm, he gained knowledge that most people he knew were also dead during his absence. Nanami. Yaga. The students.
Perhaps it was his curse. To be blessed with everything, but not being able to do anything about it.
He had nothing more to lose when he fought against Sukuna. He gave it his all. Everything his life had led him to―he put it all on the line.
And suddenly―suddenly, he was back to the happiest chapter of his youth. Everyone was there. Suguru was there. Nanami, Haibara, even Riko.
And you.
On the other side of that dream, you were once again standing before him, in your old uniform, just like when you’d get ready for a class so many years ago, and with the smile he fell in love with. The smile he would gladly fight the world for.
"Satoru," you called, breathless, but just like before you left him the first time, you frowned and your eyes suddenly glistened with tears. "Why... are you here? How did you―"
But you choked back your tears when he ran to you and pulled you into his arms so tightly. You heard him grunt, and then to your surprise, slightly sob.
Now he is no longer Gojo Satoru, the strongest. He is back to a young sorcerer wanting so badly to live his youth to the fullest, happiest.
"You lied to me," he reprimanded you amidst his weeping. "You left. You freaking left―"
Your vision blurred. "I'm sorry..."
Satoru let you go to have a good look at you. You were no longer bleeding. Your insides were intact. Just a little crying because you couldn't help it.
"I love you, you know that right?" he blurted with the most sullen expression he could muster. He turned back into the child-boy you somehow fell in love with.
"Satoru," you breathed out, anxious. "You shouldn't be here―"
"I should," he cut you with a firm tone. "I have no regrets. I have done what I can, and now―"
"But the others―they need you! They need you, Satoru."
He drooped his head. He had thought it over too, but he had come to a final conclusion. "No. They don't."
Maybe it was finally the time to let go of it. It was time to just... pass it over. No more interventions. No more tipping the balance of the world itself.
Immediately, you understand what he means. Gojo Satoru has served his purpose. There was nothing left that he must and could do.
"You waited long, huh?" you whispered with tears, yet a smile bloomed on your face.
"I did."
"Then... now that you're here," you offered your hand towards him, and then looked at the faces of your friends. They were all beaming at you and him, waiting for this exact moment.
You stared at him fondly, lovingly.
"Would you... walk this road with me once again?"
Satoru snapped his head. He nodded at you with pure certainty, zero hesitation. "Yes."
He took your hand, grasping it tightly in his.
"Even when there's a possibility that you have to walk to the other side of a nightmare again?”
"I would," Satoru resolutely replied.
Because it's you, he would. He'd willingly and gladly cross the throes of hell and set out on this lonely yet hopeful journey, just to meet you.
You chuckled at him heartily, and Satoru felt the immense love he held for you as the two of you walked towards tomorrow, without regrets.
It may be his curse, to have everything yet nothing at the same time. But each time he would be faced with this decision, he'd remember that feeling and let go of everything just for this very chance to live a life with you again.
#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jjk angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo satoru#jjk fic#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader angst#jjk236#jujutsu kaisen#angst with a happy ending#or angst with a somewhat happy ending?#okay this actually spiraled out of control#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fanfic#gojo
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reassurance
sum: in a moment of weakness, you doubt megumi’s love for you
includes: megumi fushiguro x reader, insecurities, overthinking, angst, comfort ending, megumi loves you so much I can’t stress it enough, he’s just shy
you and megumi had been together for a couple months. you were sure you loved him and he knew that. you showed him in numerous ways and never shyed away from outwardly saying it. however for him it was different. he rarely ever said it but when he did your world lit up.
you and him were the complete opposite. you were outgoing and full of energy when he was quiet and resolved.
you knew megumi’s main love language was quality time. there wasn’t a moment where he was ever away from you. and if he couldn’t physically be with you he’d be texting you. trying his best to seem interested when he knows his words can be read differently.
you weren’t having a good week and he noticed that. you weren’t lively like you were before and it worried him. he hasn’t seen you that much and that was killing him too.
you were tired. things just seemed to not be going your way and maybe it’s a little dramatic giving it’s only been a week but that week felt like a lifetime. a lifetime of constant fuck ups and unlucky events. you just wanted to be alone. when you feel like this, of course your mind does even worse. making you question every little thing. one of those being megumi’s feelings for you. you were having an internal battle, of course he loved you…right?
your thoughts are racing a mile a minute. you’re not thinking when you leave your room, rushing straight to his, your eyes littering with tears.
when your in front of his door you realize how late it is. and how awkward this might be because you hadn’t seen him the whole week. you bite your lip and knock on the door. you shift on your feet and then your hear rustling. the door swings open and it’s a very confused megumi who had just woken up.
“Y/n?” he questions, his voice groggy and deeper than usual.
the sight of you has him waking up in seconds. guilt eats at you when you stare at him, he probably had a mission in the morning and here you are disturbing his sleep just because of your overthinking.
you look unsure and he opens the door wider, letting you shuffle into his room. he rubs at his eyes as you stand in the middle of his room.
“you okay? did something happen?” he moves to stand in front of you.
“um no, sorry, I didn’t think you’d be asleep.”
he deadpans.
“y/n it’s like one in the morning.” his lips form into a thin line and you let out a small ‘oh’.
he’s fully awake now and he feels uneasy realizing that he hasn’t really talked to you other than a few texts for a week now.
“what’s wrong?” He says softly and you bite your lip.
“it’s stupid megumi.” His brows furrow.
“megumi?” He narrows his eyes at you and you look up at him.
“m-megs.” You stutter out.
he pulls you to sit on his bed, his hand caressing yours. he doesn’t understand why you’re so distant right now but it scares him. he’s missed you so much and especially you in his arms. the words are on the tip of your tongue but you can’t seem to get them out.
“how’ve you been, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen each other.” he says which sounds so weird once it leaves his mouth.
“it’s only been a week.” you say and megumi flushes, his eyes averting to the side.
“well yea but I missed you.” you glance at him and notice his ears tinted red from the lamp that casted a soft glow on his features.
which makes you feel worse about wanting to ask your question. it’s silent and megumi is still trying to figure out why things are like this.
“did you wanna—”
“do you—”
you both speak at the same time. He ushers you to speak first and you glance away.
“do you…love me?” the words leave an awful taste in your mouth and it leaves megumi stunned.
it’s silent.
his brows are furrowed and now he’s fully facing you.
“o-of course I do.”
he mentally curses himself for stammering, feeling stupid for getting nervous about something so simple. however the words resonate with him and he realizes that you may not feel his love.
megumi loves in silence. It’s quiet yet passionate. he knows every little thing about you. from knowing your coffee order to knowing your body language in any situation you’re in. he knows he doesn’t say those three words often but he likes to think that you did know by the way he held you, spoke to you and even kissed you.
“do you…not think I do?” His heart races but not in the good way.
his anxiety is skyrocketing and his hands feel clammy. your silence only makes him feel worse. he doesn’t say anything but he gets up and comes back to his bed with a box. you watch him with curiosity, his cheeks are still flushed and he wore that cute pout that would appear when you would tease him.
when he opens it, it’s filled with trinkets and pictures of you both, making your eyes soften.
“this was from our first date, when yuuji crashed it by wanting to watch his stupid earthworm movie.”
it was a ticket from that day. he takes out a keychain of two dogs that resembled his own .
“the first gift you ever gave me.” he mumbles. he takes out piles of paper.
“all of the letters.”
you smile at the kiss marks you left on them, they weren’t prominent like when you first gave them to him.
“these are my favorite.” he pulls out a stack of pictures tied together with a little rope.
they were all pictures of you and you had recognized one of them because you’ve seen it on his phone case. he lets it all rest on his bed and reaches over to grab his phone.
he gulps as he unlocks his phone, showing you his Home Screen. It was a picture of you both in a photo booth you forced him into. the last picture being him smiling down at you when you were posing cutely.
then he goes to his notes. showing you all of the important dates between you two ranging from things you liked, your orders from different places you’ve been, and even things he wanted to buy you, things you’ve mentioned way before you two started dating.
you’re silent but he doesn’t miss the way your bottom lip jitters. he quickly puts everything back in the box and scoots closer to you. he pulls you close to him, letting you cry into his shirt. he soothingly glides his hand down your hair, rubbing your back. he rests his head on top of yours, squeezing you a little tighter.
“i’m sorry, I know I don’t say it enough but I do love you and I need you to know that.” you lift your head and immediately wiped the stray tears from the apple of your cheeks.
“I love you, y/n.” you sniffle, stuffing your face into this crook of his neck.
“I’m sorry meg’s, I’m such a terrible girlfriend, I don’t know why I’d ever ask that.” you huff out.
“I’m sorry too, I’ll do better.” you shake your head.
“your enough ‘gumi. everything you do is enough. I was just overthinking and I’m stupid.” he smiles, shaking his head.
“you’re not stupid baby.” he lets out a laugh when you sniffle and say ‘but I am.’ once you’ve calmed down he pecks your head.
“are we okay?” he lets out shakily, you hum, hugging him tighter.
“wanna go to sleep?” you nod and you both slide under his covers.
he pulls you to lay on his chest. he plays with your hair, the way he knew you liked because it helped you fall asleep faster. right before your breathing evens out he speaks.
“I love you…pretty.” he whispers and you grip his shirt.
“I love you too megs.”
© yuiiiriii
#jjk sfw°•#was spiraling and needed some good angst🚬#megumi x y/n#megumi x you#megumi x reader#megumi drabble#megumi fushiguro x you#megumi fushiguro fluff#megumi angst#megumi fushiguro imagine#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi imagine#megumi fluff#megumi fushiguro angst#megumi fushiguro drabble#jjk drabbles#jjk imagines#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk angst#jjk fluff
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zayne domestic fluff brainrot again except this time, it's you who comes home to him, and he finally gets to pamper and serve you the way you always do for him.
you're greeted by a warm waft of air the moment you open the door. the entire apartment is filled with the smell of your favorite dishes and you know instantly that, for the first time in weeks, zayne is home before you.
you hastily take off your coat and shoes, rushing past your cat sprawled in the middle of the hallway and to the kitchen where you find zayne. he's got an apron loosely tied around his waist. it takes you a second to realize that it's your gift from last week, the one that came in bright baby blue with ruffled, lace edges and an embroidered snowman dead center.
"it reminded me of you!" is what you had said when you handed it to him over dinner.
and he had thanked you with a feathery kiss on your knuckles, "i suppose i look a bit like this snowman, no?”
it still warms your heart, oddly enough, despite the fact that zayne has never been one to turn down any of your gifts, no matter how trivial or silly they were. he still has the keychain you gave him secured on the handle of his bag. the ceramic white kitten you got from your trip out of town five years ago sits comfortably on the desk at his office. one cutout panel from a photo strip of you and your cat is tucked inside an antique heart-shaped locket you found in some thrift store downtown. and there's not a moment where that locket isn't on him, one way or another, hung around his neck or buried in the safety of his pockets during surgery.
he adores you, and by extension every little trinket or piece of clothing you decide to give him.
the moment zayne turns down the heat on the stove is when you decide to make your presence known. you take light, careful steps as you walk towards him.
you wrap your arms around his waist, hands settling over his stomach.
and either he knows you've been lingering near the kitchen for a while or you weren't as sneaky as you thought, because he's not startled with your sudden arrival. he merely hums, as if to acknowledge your presence, before immediately melting against your touch. he takes one of your hands in his, the one that's not holding on to the ladle, and brings it closer to his lips.
"welcome home." he presses a kiss over your palm, absentmindedly tracing the lines with his finger. "dinner's almost ready. you should go and wash up.”
"this is a lot, zayne. thank you." you nuzzle a cheek against his back, trying to bring yourself impossibly closer to him as if you aren't already soul to soul at this very moment. "can't i at least set the table? wanna help you.”
"don't worry about it, my love." zayne turns down the stove completely. he faces you for the first time this evening, and you try not to be taken aback at how he looks at you. a bright gaze that makes him look like he’s in a trance as he’s staring at you. his eyes track the few strands of hair that manage to escape from behind your ear. he’s quick to move them out of the way. from there, his hand naturally gravitates towards your cheek where his thumb drags across smooth skin. he digs into the flesh with little pressure. "let me take care of you tonight.”
"if you insist.”
you can't help but laugh at how he sends you off. he’s ushering you to go to your shared bedroom, to get out of the clothes you’ve spent your entire day in and freshen up, but his hand stays firmly clasped around yours. it takes a few weak tugs and a lot of coaxing, of dragging out his name and using every possible pet name that comes to your mind for him to finally let you go.
when you return to your dining area after a quick shower, half of the lights are turned off. there's a set of three candles in the middle of the table lined with the placemats you only ever bring out when your parents are visiting.
zayne notices your arrival as he’s in the middle of placing two bowls of soup near your plates. he pulls out your chair, revealing the small bouquet of red chrysanthemums resting on it.
“for you.”
you’re briefly surprised as you take the flowers in your hands. he moves closer until his palm finds the small of your back.
"if i didn't know any better, i'd say you're planning on popping the question tonight.” you tease.
zayne tries to hide the pink dusting his cheeks by looking the other way. “can’t a man spoil his beloved?”
“oh, of course he can.” you reach for his face, taking his jaw by your hand. gently and with little resistance, you turn his face towards yours. “and his beloved couldn’t be more grateful. really, zayne, you didn’t have to do all of this.”
“i got off work early. when you told me you were working overtime, i thought it was the least i can do.”
“then let’s not keep the food waiting.” you smile.
you and zayne eat in an almost complete absence of silence as you urge him to talk about his day. and you find that it was pretty uneventful for the most part, except for the little girl he met in the hospital’s cafeteria.
“her name's mika.” he says between sips of red wine. “she’s six and she owns a cat who's three years older than her.”
you hum, motioning for him to continue.
“i met her little brother too. his name's louis, but he doesn't like being called that because it sounds too much like the name of the girl he apparently hates in school.”
“wow,” you breathe, “look at you, doctor zayne. akso hospital’s world-renowned chief cardiac surgeon and speaker to all toddlers.”
he lets out a low laugh, “i gave them some of the macarons you baked.”
“that’s adorable! did they like it?”
"when they asked who made them, i said they were baked by someone i hold near to my heart." zayne nods as he wipes the edge of lips with a napkin. "they said i should make sure to give that person lots of love."
"oh?" you lean forward, reaching across the table and past the plates of food to find his hand. "i think they might be right, doctor zayne."
zayne chuckles, choosing to indulge you. “i think so too.”
“meet me in the bedroom after i clean up?” he stands up, moving to stack the empty plates on top of each other. but you decide to beat him to it, swiftly taking the plates in your hand and out of his reach.
"leave this to me, love."
zayne frowns. there’s a slight crease on his forehead as he tries—but ultimately fails to protest. “but-”
“no buts. you’ve done enough for me tonight.”
but if there’s one thing about zayne that drives you mad, it’s that he knows when to use your weaknesses against you. he knows which parts of your bare skin to touch, what to say, how to say it. he knows that his hand sitting dangerously low on your back makes it hard for you to think of anything else. he knows that him leaning down to speak directly to your ear, hot breath fanning across cold skin, is enough to cloud your judgement.
“how about we do it together, then?”
bastard.
“fine…” you relent, knees feeling a little weak.
you two work in the kitchen like a perfectly well-oiled machine for the next half hour. he transfers all the leftovers into containers you plan on reheating over the week while you begin to scrub the plates clean.
"perhaps i did make too much…" he remarks at one point. it pulls a laugh out of you, and you bring your soap-covered hand to poke him in the cheek.
"cute." you mutter under your breath.
as the moon draws closer to its peak, you find yourself tucked in zayne’s arms, hiding under the sheets. the silk adds a layer of privacy, an added solace to the already peaceful four walls of your bedroom. and as you drift further into the land of your dreams, you think there's nothing else that could possibly be better than spending the rest of your life with zayne.
and maybe he has been sitting on the question for a while now. maybe he does have a tiny box tucked at the very back of his drawer, just waiting for the right moment to be worn on your ring finger.
#erm this is kinda ass#and it wouldve been out a lot earlier if it didnt spiral out of control#this really was supposed to be just a simple brainrot post HJSDFHS#and thats another one for the zayne domestic fluff enjoyers#zayne x reader#zayne fluff#love and deepspace x reader#lads fluff#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace#deusfoundry writes!#NOT PROOFREAD BTW
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you, who’s loved simon from the moment the two of you met.
simon, who needed more time to reciprocate.
you, who remained patient and kind until the end.
simon, who didn’t know he loved you back until he was staring at the picture displayed at your funeral, realizing that it was too late to tell you that he felt the same way.
#angie’s rambles#another vent post#lowkey back to spiraling again but it’s cool#call of duty#simon ghost riley#cod#cod x reader#ghost cod#simon riley x reader#ghost simon riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader
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olympics coming up…… athlete aus on the mind….. satoru as a swimmer….. unreasonably large wingspan…. huge hands..... thinks “official” competitions and tournaments are boring because he can’t use the goofy purple googly eyes goggles he likes to practice in…… practices at ungodly hours solely because he likes when the pool is empty because that means you’ll dip your feet in at the edge and be there to greet him with a kiss when he’s finished his laps….. they bring up the stats board and it’s just his name ten times before the next fastest person and he could still lap them, and even tho he’ll always put so much pressure on himself to be the best, it’s worth it to have you hold his face and tell him you’re proud of him... he’s gotten so much merch from events and sponsorships and he used to think they just created clutter but that all changes when you start to wear his clothes (esp the ones with his name on it… he’s not proud to admit that does Something to him)…. always looks up to the stands when he finishes a race and if he knows you’re not there, he looks right at the camera, draws an infinity sign with his fingers, and blows a kiss (which, some commentators routinely call “unsportsmanlike conduct” but he doesn’t care, and always, publicly says he’ll pay the fees if it means blowing a kiss to his girl at home)
#satoru w/ wet hair coming out of the pool......... GOD .#he could be a professional swimmer and he still gets in the bathtub and is like babe look I'm a mermaid like yeah dude.. u might be#he's so k/atie l/edecky coded... they bring up the world stats and his name name 24 times before the next fastest time#like wdym you're faster than yourself 23 times before somebody else is next in line.........#he also gets brand sponsorships and is on set for photoshoots/campaigns and he's always like wait can I have one these for my gf#and the crew thinks its so sweet they give him 10 extra#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jjk smut#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#hm.... nanami? idk where tho... maybe judo I think that's an olympic sport#salaryman to gold medalist lore goes crazy omg#he started bc he was stressed at work at some random gym and the coach there was like hold on... and now he's a gold medalist#yuuta does something kinda nerdy looking like the javelin but he's weirdly good at it LOLLLL#OR TENNIS!#megumi I HAVE to push my archery agenda#but like. toji/gojo definitely caught him throwing rocks or something as a kid and being emo#and they were like wait you've got good aim ... kinda scary#and now he's at the olympics... wild#whatever the case is yuuji didn't Actually want to play a sport#yuuji in track and field... honestly maybe even gymnastics... NO! I GOT IT! VOLLEYBALL!.... maybe...#but it turned out to be a way to make steady money to support his grandpa#and then it just.. spiraled into him getting scouted and then training and now he's a world champion :((((#💌#olympics au
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— KISSES OR KISSES? : honkai star rail
premise. testing out your new lipstick is no fun (normally), so what better way to make use of it by kissing your lover senseless? not to mention, leaving a little something behind.... (aka, lipstick kisses with them.)
ft. blade, dan heng, boothill, dr. ratio, aventurine !
warnings: feminine reader! reader is ultimately genderless but you may interpret this as fem!reader if you want, reader wears lipstick. nicknames hehe, boothill is his own warning, mid writing tbh, unedited
a/n. the lipstick trend does not escape me at all 😞😞 but this consumed me so now i write about it ijbol
MAIN MASTERLIST || PART 2 (sunday, jing yuan, gallagher, sampo, gepard.)
“what are you doing?”
BLADE ceases all functions. like, immediately.
you'd think he'd even stopped breathing once he'd felt the soft sensation of your lips on his, and the pretty sight of the normally aloof stellaron hunter covered in multiple lipstick kisses all over his face to his neck nearly makes the rest of his other comrades keel over from laughter. his silence is indicative of his rather unusual state of shock, the only indication a menacing furrow of his brows (to an outsider, they'd think he's plotting a murder spree, but you know him too well for that) that twitch and simultaneously react the more you kiss him everywhere on the face.
silverwolf will then relay to you that blade walked around for nearly 5 system hours covered in your... marks of ownership, kafka helpfully supplies, and was only made aware when firefly accidentally bumped into him, face exploding in red when she saw the audacious sight of blade covered in your lipstick. “er, blade.... your face is...”
—
blade has never known mortification quite like today, but the intense feeling of something akin to shame is vivid as he stares at himself in the mirror, glaring.
his face is a mess, to put it simply. trailing a hand on the red stains your lips left on to him leaves him with a smudged countenance, furthering the utter chaos that is his kiss-ridden face.
“...ridiculous girl.” avoiding the uncharacteristic way his fingertips feel hot, blade reckons this is probably why firefly stopped dead in her tracks and gaped, stared, and flustered.
clever as you were, and with your equal penchant for mischief, blade, the ever unsuspecting lover he is (he doesn't normally allow anyone to touch him, but you're not just anyone) had easily become the target of your new tricks.
“pfft, nice get-up, old man. got yourself a good day?”
....so that's what silverwolf meant.
DANHENG immediately scolds you, but not in the serious way he normally does whenever stelle wants to eat an origami bird or dives into trashcans or when march accidentally destroys one of the archive books, but in a way that only dan heng ever shows you. he's red, painfully red, and is struggling to face you because he knows that the smug grin you're holding has to do with the sight he'd glimpsed himself to be in moments prior.
unfortunately for him, for all his ways of trying fervently to remove the lipstick stains plastered all over his face, it only took march one look and a melodramatic gasp before the entire express knew, the conductor included.
—
“dan heng and [name], sitting on a tree-”
“k-i-s-s-i-n-g~”
my friends are all senile, dan heng thinks, rolling his eyes while avoiding himeko's friendly (read: eerie) smile. and he's already given up on trying to meet welt's eyes. (read: concerned but not surprised)
the reason? the rouge tinted matte lipstick generously spread all over dan heng's face, slightly smudged and spanning from his cheeks to his lips, nearing his neck.
he'd never tell, but a part of him—one that was reptilian in nature, a primal need of possessiveness—adored the show of affection you showered upon him. it was only right—he was yours, and you were his.
welt is sheepish, coughing lightly that all five heads of the express members turn to him (pom-pom included) “dan heng, is that your tail wagging?”
“....”
“....”
“....”
(a resounding click! can be heard afrerwards. oh, dan heng is so going to steal march's camera.)
the loud whir of BOOTHILL’s cooling system can't even keep up with how fast he's overheating, because one thing led to another and one look you gave made him weak in the knees and now his body is covered in your kisses, scarlet against the metal gray of his limbs. he no longer has a heart, but the rapid feeling of heat emitted by his body speaks more about his current mental state in more ways than one—he can't even form words because his brain chip is practically glitching itself up into overdrive, because your lips were so warm, soft and gentle and—
“...oothill? boothill? your circuits are—”
a startling sound that sounds just like a mini explosion reverberates somewhere in the tangle of wires near boothill's power source.
oh dear.
( p.s: no warp trotters were harmed, rest assured )
“[name]...” AVENTURINE’s voice falters when you press a soft kiss near his forehead, your lover closing his eyes as he lets out a soft sigh of joy — a bit like a peacock preening... but in any case! he certainly sees no argument being swayed by you, his dignity in shambles, yes, but when you were showering him with affection like this (which, in all honesty, aventurine did not think he deserved) leaves in in a flushed and tattered mess of a man, whose strings are wholly puppeteered by you and you alone.
you are everything; and aventurine certainly can't get enough. (he doubts if enough will even be enough someday) he's the lover who'd proudly want to flaunt such salacious marks everywhere, though his craftily built reputation as a stoneheart—blood sweat and commodity code and all—leaves him to hide your marks on him, as much as he'd like them to stay. (you are a weakness that aventurine keeps like an oath, and an existence that he'd do anything to keep.)
that doesn't, however, stop him from getting you to leave a kiss near his collar, discreet enough to signal his status as irrevocably, undeniably yours.
DR. VERITAS RATIO is actually the most calm and most normal (read: boring) of all the men above when barraged by your kiss attack. letting out a tsk that's more chiding and speeachless than actually annoyed, he casually pulls you away from his face, nevermind his rapidly heating cheeks, which is only made more humorous given his lipstick stained face.
“stop that. you're making too much of a mess of me, fool.” <- is visibly leaning to your face to allow said actions. you're not fooling anyone here, doctor. smh.
however, he does get pretty flustered when a certain blond gambler notes the new addition of a ‘tattoo’ right near his lower lip. “wow, doctor. seems you woke up on the good side of the bed today.”
he spends a whole day scolding you hoarse afterwards, whatever that may entail ;).
(as a way of petty revenge, he will make sure to kiss you senseless right after, until he's sure his own lips are swollen and covered in the warm red of your chosen shade.)
a/n: blog is running on queue as of today, so this post will probably come wayyy overdue lol but hope u enjoy nonetheless!
@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.
#mhie's spirals#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#blade x reader#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#boothill x reader#boothill x you#aventurine x y/n#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#dr ratio x reader#dr ratio x you#dr ratio x y/n#boothill x y/n#dan heng x y/n#blade x you#blade x gender neutral reader
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Analysis of the romance in Death Note's Spiraling Trap game.
EDIT 02/03/2024: minor edits and fixes, added a few imgs and extra content.
A huge thank you to the folks over at agtteam who translated L - the ProLogue to Death Note: Spiraling Trap into English! Now we can all date L become FBI agents after hours.
I've been playing the game recently and one of the features I love the most is the L Communicator, which allows the main character (referred to as MC henceforth) to take a break from adventuring and listen to L talk about whatever is on his mind.
There's around one hundred different lines available as the MC develops a relationship with L and they paint him as such a sweet, attentive and thoroughly unique individual that I was surprised by how detailed it was. If you're thinking about playing, then this part is definitely worth putting effort into.
The mechanics of the dating sim are relatively simple: during the adventure, you'll pick up a number of recipes hidden among traps and tools. Then, Watari will provide the ingredients and you can give L whatever sweets he specifically craves. These recipes and cravings depend on the time of day and can be season specific.
Character analysis
As stated in-game, giving L sweets causes his appreciation for the MC to grow. However, L being L, means that he craves different sweets throughout the day. He's definitely very specific about what he likes and what he wants for his sugar fix.
However, if you give L something he isn't craving at that specific moment, he will sulk. The way he expresses his displeasure varies according to the depth of the budding relationship he has with the MC.
L: To tell you the truth, there are many other things I would have preferred. L: [F/N], I hate to say this, but I really would have preferred something else. L: F/N], you must know that I was hoping for something else, right? L: [F/N]… It’s not my favorite but, it made me really happy.
Note: Given that the books in the expanded universe (Another Note and L: Change the WorLd) came out before this game, I think some of the quotes further ahead might be a subtle nod to how L is perceived by the police forces as the "creepy murder detective". However, references about his piece of mind lead me to believe that L craves some respite from the burdens he carries on his shoulders — burdens so strong that they managed to curve his spine.
Note: I'm unsure how the system here works, as the MC also gets points for gaining L's trust in the actual adventure when they a) agree with his observations and b) find key objects hidden in unsuspecting places. It might affect the available lines through the L Communicator.
L: Today is going to be a better day… Let’s think positive. L: I wonder what kind of morning this will be. L: It seems the air outside is crisp this morning.
L: I want to finish what I need to get done before night falls. L: It’s nearly sunset. Time for children to go back home. L: If you just stare into space, night will be here before you know it.
L: It’s already evening… Time keeps passing me by. L: There’s something different about the air at night. L: Night-time, dusk… It’s the witching hour.
As a naturally introspective individual, L observes the world around him and draws conclusions. To my surprise, the game actually managed to capture how observant L is about small, unsuspecting details of daily life and give him a slightly poetic side laced with a hint of wistfulness that suits his character well.
This is a side of L in his private life that I personally wish we had been able to glimpse during the Kira investigation. Though, at the time, L was busy trying to prove that Light was, indeed, Kira. It left him little to no time to enjoy the world around him. During the brief time that L could have had a semblance of rest right before the Yotsuba arc, he was depressed that his deductions were "wrong" — though I could see him musing about some of the above, equal parts whimsy and sulking.
L: If I start to lose my touch… I guess I’ll retire. L: Another day, another mystery… L: I have a lot of thinking to do. L: I feel like doing some capoeira… L: I haven't played tennis for a while. L: The weather today is… Well, it matters not. L: I, um… No, ignore me. L: Am I reading too much into it…?
As a thinker, L has a lot of unfinished thoughts he says out loud. Some border on cliché, others are musings about things he'd like to do or that he's missing.
I wonder if some of his thoughts end up trailing off because, suddenly, he catches himself and believes they're not important? Or that he doesn't think the MC would be interested in what he has to say beyond work matters?
L: “In spring one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn.” Though, too much sleep isn’t good for anyone. L: If you think about things persistently, noticing all the sides to them will come naturally. L: Strawberries… Despite the name, they aren’t actually berries. How berry disappointing. L: The one who has thought it through wins. It’s true for chess, and for deduction. But in the case of love… I don't know.
He's also a philosopher at heart, always thinking about the human condition. In these we can also witness his dry humour, silly puns along with a subtle desire to share his thoughts on the world and give helpful advice.
As for love, L is cautious but willing to learn. It's a topic where he's out of his depth.
L: Um, Watari is… L: I wonder if Watari’s asleep? L: What could Watari be up to? L: Today is Thanksgiving Day. I am truly grateful to Watari for his diligence.
I found it interesting how L's thoughts eventually go back to Watari and what he's doing. He's the one person that L relies on and whom he interacts with the most. Other people are passing acquaintances at best, who show little interest in L beyond work.
Notice how he mentions diligence? Although it is a utilitarian consideration, it also reveals a thankfulness for the comforts of familiarity and the peace of mind that trusting someone close brings. This is a topic we'll explore better at a later stage, i.e., how trust and acts of service work as a relationship builder.
Romance
Neutral stage
One of the first things I've noticed is that, during the early stages of the relationship, L is still very formal and quite a bit dismissive — even borderline rude. As his sugar fix gets sated by the MC's keen suggestions (Watari provides the ingredients, of course), L grows gradually more fond of them and wants to include the MC in his life with an enthusiasm I can only define as endearing.
L: Aren’t you bored? You don’t have to check in on me. L: Don’t you have stuff to do?
At the beginning, L is still wary of the MC on a personal level as they have absolutely no rapport beyond a partnership of circumstance and usefulness in the name of justice. He's quick to get bored and doesn't take it very well when he's given sweets he isn't craving. A bit childish, one could say, the way he sulks when the MC errs by not reading his mind.
L: Did I enjoy it? Let me just say “no comment”. (about sweets that weren't quite to his taste)
It's also very in-character for L to feel both annoyed at someone who is randomly calling him and be suspicious of their motives.
Growing interest
L: Spending the afternoon with you isn’t so bad. L: Even though it’s late, you’re not going to bed, huh? L: You must be a night owl, [F/N]. L: I’m a little curious about you, [F/N]. L: Are you having a good time? I’m just curious. L: You’re kind of… Ah, no, forget I said anything.
He starts addressing the MC by their first name as he becomes more enamoured. It's very sweet. I was pleasantly surprised at how attentive L becomes as he gradually comes to the conclusion that this is a person who understands him.
Mind, due to game mechanics the MC gains approval by giving L sweets, but from a narrative perspective what's really happening is that L not only feels seen and understood, but also accepted. And when that happens, he starts lowering his walls and relaxing.
As a plot device, I would say these are defining moments within L's thought process here; he's curious about the MC, finds them interesting enough to want to know more them and pursues that curiosity to see what they might have in common. It seems he's both a little baffled and content about this development.
L: [F/N], what do you think of when you see a sunset? L: What are you doing this afternoon? Oh, should I not have asked? L: Are you a night owl? Oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.
It should also be noted that L is very mindful of boundaries. There's a tentative, almost shy attempt to connect. He's determined to indulge in his curiosity since the MC's attentiveness towards him shows an opening for closeness he's unused to (but is happy about) and to tend to his more immediate needs (i.e., food cravings), which in turn shows a genuine concern for him. Aside from Watari, I doubt anyone ever extended L similar kindness.
And it is in this determination to get to know the MC that I also find Mello's words (AA: LABB Murder Cases) that L is actually a very active, aggressive individual with absolutely no interest in social conventions perfectly represent him this game, as he navigates a growing fondness with expectation, curiosity and caution — on his own terms, while minding that he doesn't overstep.
L: Staying up late talking to you… It makes me feel calm.
I find it particularly heartbreaking how this confession of L unknowingly makes it more transparent how burdened he is. The spine curved by burdens unseen, the addiction to mind games and sweets; all of these point to stress factors which isolate him further, increasing the loneliness and lack of affection in his life.
That L feels the need to mention the MC makes him feel calm seems telling.
L: We’re both late workers, huh? That makes me happy. L: [F/N]… You’re pretty formidable. L: It’s reassuring to have a partner like you. You’re someone I can trust. L: Your feelings have been received. (Valentine's Day) L: The fact we’ve become so close was an unexpected development on my part.
And here it is, the acknowledgement just as L enters the highest stages of approval, where he expresses admiration and happiness at the close bond he developed with the MC.
"An unexpected development on my part" is quite the turn of phrase. One can only wonder, but I'd make an educated guess that L didn't see this coming because:
a) no one showed feelings towards him before. In his line of work, hidden behind a screen there is no time to indulge or get attached to anyone (he would mistrust their intentions anyway) and so L keeps everyone at arms length, sharing little more than a professional side of himself and fostering utilitarian relationships that help him win "games". L ultimately carries various burdens the average civilian would never be able to understand, all due to the pressure of his job. When failing at the "game of cat and mouse" means being responsible for the likely deaths of dozens, perhaps even hundreds or thousands, the stakes are up in unimaginable ways. What started as a thrill chase can have catastrophic consequences should L fail. That in itself alienates him from society at large. It's a game that L plays well and absolutely profits from, but it is also an indicative of two major flaws: his addictive personality and how he suppresses his emotions to carry on. Coincidentally, it's the expanded universe, in particular Another Note: LA BB Murder Case and L: Change the WorLd, that give us the best insight into this. This isn't too dissimilar to the struggles policemen face in high risk jobs or technicians who have to flag and delete sensitive content from online platforms. These people end up changed from what they see — and some carry traumas for the rest of their lives. That's not to say that L doesn't feel for others. He respects people whom he considers good or morally upstanding (Soichiro Yagami), who are competent in their line of work (Naomi Misora, Mogi), worthy of a second chance (Aiber and Wedy), who speak their minds, unafraid (Aizawa) or who are reliable, loyal to him as a person and not just his cause, in whom he can place his trust and feel secure won't betray him (Watari). The MC seems to fall mostly in the last category, though the relationship is rather precocious — and there seems to be a fair amount of wishful thinking and even projecting on L's part, since communication happens over a device connecting two people remotely. He falls both for the idea of the individual and their attentiveness towards him. When L mentions that they make him feel calm, I'd argue it comes both as a surprise to him and a confession of a closeness and safety he intimately craved — though I personally view L as someone who feels lonely and wanting healthy human contact, even if his social skills might not be the best (worsened by his distrust of people as a whole). Someone who ultimately is willing to adapt to him but whom he can adapt to, as well. Someone who sees him as a person and not an unfeeling robot. It's a POV that certainly challenges certain aspects of DN: Vol 13. I would further argue that L's portrayal has evolved significantly beyond the manga, and that his subsequent humanising is partially a result of the creative liberties the English translations took, as well as a more empathetic view of the character and hidden struggles. Each medium displays a separate iteration of L, with common variables.
b) L fosters distant relationships with others as a safety measure. Aside from Watari, L's contact with other people had always been distant, work-focused, perhaps even tainted by notions of his supposed creepiness as a kinky detective "who relished bizarre murders" (L:CtW). He's useful to the police because he achieves favourable results, though L is still viewed as "a human computer, capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath" (L:CtW). He isn't necessarily liked; in fact, I would argue he rubs people the wrong way most of the time — as we can see during his interactions with the Task Force, during the events of Death Note. L is tolerated, a useful asset who is both mysterious and a pain to deal with. However, he's also put on a pedestal due to his status (i.e., Relight, the children at Wammy's). For the latter, he purposely shatters their idea of L as this unbeatable, paragon of justice by defining himself as a monster (anime), a dishonest cheating human being who hates losing (manga). I do share in lux-mea-lex's perspective on L doubting his own humanity and how it fuels a certain self-hatred for distrusting everyone around him. As lux mentions, "love comes with trust" and L is an excellent detective precisely because he questions everything and everyone — but it comes at a cost: his own loneliness. To draw a parallel, L's ultimate flaw — and that which makes him great at his job — is not unlike what we see during the moments of extreme anguish that Veronica Mars goes through in her personal relationships and which draw people away from her when she oversteps boundaries to prove she's not being lied to. That mistrust comes from experience, for people burdened with having seen too much and it's not unlike a kind of paranoia acquired when one has to deal with the worst of humanity on a daily basis.
Full reciprocity
L: [F/N] you’re the light that illuminates the dark night. That’s an exaggeration of course, but… L: What I need to live is glucose… and to talk to you. Nourishment for my brain and heart. L: When we’re together, I feel like there’s no problem we can’t solve. L: The afternoons I get to spend with you are precious to me.
When the MC achieves the stage of full reciprocity with L, he's very open to showing vulnerability and lowering his emotional defenses. I found this to be particularly sweet, as L is such a secretive man with so many hidden layers that him being willing to show such honesty with that one person he holds dear is incredible character development.
Beyond the game, I would say that achieving this stage with L would be much more difficult and, naturally, would involve going beyond picking the best sweets for him.
Something important to keep in mind is that L seems to value acts of service, as the people who interact with him more closely have some utility value and aid his work. However, L's life revolves around his work; he lives and breathes his detective work, which is why having a partner who brings him peace would be so important.
L: The time I spend with you is as important to me as the sweets. L: Good morning. It makes me really happy to see you here. L: For your sake… I’d think of a way to get through anything. We share a bond. L: When you have time, I’d like to take you to a shop that makes the best sweets. L: When you’re free, how about we play tennis together? I will have Watari reserve a court. L: If something were to happen to me… I want you, as the person I hold dearest, to carry on the L moniker. L: When my thoughts hit a dead end late at night, I feel like I’m stuck in a maze. But, having you here makes me feel reassured.
I also found it very sweet how L takes the initiative to plan for activities to do together with the MC. And how their presence, their reassuring words make him feel at ease. It seems that a loving relationship would give L a goal in life beyond his work.
Carrying on the L moniker... this quote might be the result of L's trust in the MC growing during the events of the game, or a sentiment L nurtures due to the MC being attentive enough to understand his specific cravings. But being able to read L and having the mental dexterity to become him are different things, as the latter involves a lifestyle that few would want and a complete focus on work. Even FBI agents have lives beyond work.
L: I learned from you that sweets are the bond that brings people together. L: You give me true peace of mind. No one could ever replace you. L: The way I am now, I… I can’t think straight when you’re not around. L: Being able to share this sunset with you, I couldn’t ask for anything more. L: You understand, don’t you [F/N]? What my heart so strongly desires is something more… L: When I talk to you, I feel like my senses are sharpened. Thanks to that, my radar has become more sensitive.
What a sweet guy. I love how L focuses on the little things and just wants to spend time together with the person he holds dearest. It's almost as if he daydreams a close, loving relationship — a trait that clashes with L's logical side.
This game and the expanded universe of Death Note have convinced me that there are many more layers to L than what we can see in the main story.
As Fu Takahashi, who plays L in the 2020 Japanese version of the musical, said:
“(...) A common thing about L among these versions is that, despite his superficial image as a smart guy who hates losing, he actually feels lonely and needs affection, I imagine. Perhaps he is an orphan – his character suggests so. He tries to control his emotions, like the feelings towards his parents, or romantic feelings; that’s why he is sort of dependent on games or battles of the mind. So I want to play L while thinking about the foundations on which his personality has been formed.”
I think this quote and the game are actually very telling of L's core personality and how it moves beyond that cold, calculating persona that defines him in the manga. It's also more in line with the characterisation that we see in the anime and the books, which help humanise L.
As I mentioned elsewhere, learning how to trust and be comfortable around someone else would do L wonders. Though that person would have to accept him for who he is and help him learn how to navigate a healthy relationship.
Perhaps the true test of love, for L, would even be for him to be confronted with someone who knows who he really is and, is not only kind to him, but also sees the best in him — regardless of his flaws. I think that we've had a glimpse of it in this game and it's a breath of fresh air.
#death note#l lawliet#death note: spiralling trap#spiraling trap#romance#death note meta#watari#character analysis#l lawliet headcanons#l lawliet x reader#in a way#kira#soichiro yagami#aizawa#naomi misora#aiber#wedy#task force
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