#spies/assassins
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podfic-pals Ā· 9 months ago
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Today Evi reads So It Goes... (AO3 | Fic Post) by @thosefookinavacados
ā€œIā€™m going to kill you.ā€
ā€œGo right ahead, love.ā€
As always, you can listen to our podcast on your favourite podcast app:Ā Spotify for Podcasters (formerly Anchor) |Ā SpotifyĀ |Ā Google PodcastĀ |Ā Apple PodcastĀ | or you can check out the AO3 postĀ here. You can also download the full episodeĀ here.
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thou-babbling-brook Ā· 3 months ago
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I think both TURN: Washingtonā€™s Spies and Assassinā€™s Creed III couldā€™ve been cut in half if these three were allowed to be the trio they were destined to be
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sunnifer Ā· 5 months ago
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cmon curt you can do better than that
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rubywingsracing Ā· 8 months ago
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Be Gayā€¦ Do Crimes
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More Landoscar spy au šŸ’…šŸ’…
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wangxianficfinder Ā· 1 month ago
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Spies / Secret Agents / Assassins & Hitmen
~*~
šŸ§” some life yet unspent by Fahye (E, 28k, WangXian, Background XiYao, Spy AU, Modern AU, 007Ā LWJ, Q WWX, Fluff and angst, Mutual pining, Injuries, Canon typical violence)
silhouettes to steal this night by moonsteps (T, 51k, WangXian, Modern, Assassins & Hitmen, Roommates, Rivals to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Identity Porn, Violence, Blood and Injury, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Secret Identity)
Across the street to another life by danegen (M, 99k, WangXian, Modern, unleashed au, Family Fluff, Set in America, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Addiction, Crime, Amnesia, Ableist Language, another fridged mother, POV Alternating, past wwx/ofc, past wwx/omc, Medium parent YZY, A-Yuan is wwx's biological son, Musicians, Happy Ending)
šŸ”’ For good by apathyinreverie (M, 6k, WangXian, Modern, mafia, everyone is a little darker, lxc really needs to practice those people skills, general warning for JGS, Domestic WangXian, Praise Kink, Simp LWJ, BAMF WWX)
out to get you (to get you) by iliacquer (E, 41k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, switching, top/bottom LWJ, top/bottom WWX, power play, courtesan LWJ, assassin LWJ, dark lord WWX, bondage, happy ending, past slavery)
šŸ”’ If You Give a Spy a Family by WiseDawn13 (T, 7k, WangXian, WWX & WN, WWX & WQ, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, JC/LXC, LWJ & MM, WIP, Spy X Family AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sort Of, god bless A-Yuan's telepathy, he can stop the "wangxian miscommunication" before it gets out of hand, WN is Loved, spy WWX, assassin LWJ, Cute and adorable fluff, Because of A-Yuan and WN, Fluff, Angst, hidden identities, Found Family, canon typical violence)
ā¤ļø I'd be the one to hold you down (kiss you so hard) by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf & tardigradeschool (E, 84k, WangXian, XiYao, NieLan, Modern AU, Leverage Fusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Unhealthy Relationships (not wangxian), Depression, JGY typical behavior, Heists, Found Families, Explicit Sexual Content, Minor art theft, Murder, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Established relationship Wangxian, Marriage, Lan Sibling feels, Jiang sibling feels, Cats, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Therapy, jgy has layers like an onion)
Tiger by the Tail by Solmae (T, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Spies & Secret Agents)
shored against my ruins | End Racism in the OTW by saraubs (E, 85k, WIP, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, YLLZ, LSZ is a Wen, Kidnapped LSZ, BAMF WWX, Flashbacks, Older WWX, Trans MXY, Younger LWJ)
You Only Die Twice by Mikkeneko (T, 11k, WangXian, Assassins/Spies, Assassins & Hitmen, Modern AU, Mafia AU, Action, Moderate Violence, a lot of people die but no named characters, not exactly lan sect friendly, not exactly lan sect critical either, Assassin LWJ, Kindergarten Teacher WWX, coffee shop meet cute, Let LWJ Say Fuck, slightly cracky, Non-Linear Narrative)
~*~
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whiteshipnightjar Ā· 3 months ago
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river: climbs out the window, flips off people chasing him thinking he's the coolest. immediately falls through the roof onto a pile of tires
i just laughed so hard. what is river's life? that boy is so dumb. i love my failgirl so much.
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joseigamer Ā· 1 year ago
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Patalliro! is fascinating to me because of stuff like this. It's unapologetically gay - even within its anime which aired during primetime hours in 1982 - in a way that many later BL manga would never be, like the ones from the early 2000s which would never dare to call their characters actual homosexuals. Patalliro has actually aged quite well in this regard, there's something comforting about how campy it is.
#i still dont really understand how they got away with this kind of thing honestly#female VAs i get that - but first m/m kiss in an anime in episode THREE?????#theres also the maraich/thomas episode where they are *Both* voiced by women....advanced yuri#patalliro#i love how bancorans gender expression is pretty much explicitly to attract only bishounen#you blushed - so you must not be a girl#etc#i also love how joyful it all is#theres never anything sad or tragic about being gay - only that bancoran is forced to kill the bishounen spies/assassins/etc#when bancoran finds out that gay sex feels good after demian; in the manga he is elated. its basically a positive thing#he awakens to his true power...lol#also notable is that while bishounen youth is glorified maraich is 18#this means it portrays being gay as an adult as normal; not a phase relegated to nostalgic adolescent periods of time#according to the NYT japan's psychiatric body called homosexuality a mental illness until 1995#im NOT going to say patalliro changed that or anything lmao but its just significant to me that banmara get to live their lives happily#even raise children together in the manga....???#especially contrasting that with kaze to ki no uta and other manga of the time (no shade intended)#yaoi#<- for tagging purposes#obviously it also got away with a lot by being a gag manga. but still!#months later edit: want to say im not intending to moralize BL manga from the 2000s either. like gen. no hate on them.#as a gay person i just appreciate when characters who act gay are considered gay textually#and its kind of disheartening how gay-as-identity was treated as something incredulous in those manga a lot of the time#even the mere suggestion of attraction to men as a whole and not just the other male lead...yknow#this post is meant to praise patalliro for being unique in its approach to gay content compared to other titles#ive enjoyed plenty of 2000s yaoi titles despite their shortcomings lol#joseiposting#shoujo
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deceitfulapple-eatingscoundrel Ā· 11 months ago
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santoriel_art.
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dykedvonte Ā· 6 months ago
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People in the fandom who think synths are mostly robot or donā€™t need to care for basic functions fell for Institute propaganda and have not been paying attention the the various examples of robot sentience past the gen 3 synths.
Not to be a nag about it but the Institute is very much like the synth equivalent of Tennpenny Tower for ghouls. A lot of the information they have is warped to make them seem less horrible about creating a type of human purely to enslave. To find out if a person is a synth is literally impossible with out prior knowledge or death of the synth. Synths regularly enough ā€œgain consciousnessā€ or yknow realize there is more out there beyond the Institute that itā€™s hard to say they donā€™t have sentience. Its fear, brainwashing and the very real fact that if they for a moment step out of line they (as they know themself) will be erased or straight up killed.
Even the robots in fallout have a sort of sentience. They may not be able to disobey their primary functions in certain cases but they have opinions on things and can get very opinionated about it. Prominent examples are Cogsworth, Curie, Yes-Man and Ada. I know the difference is one is distinctly believed to be masquerading as human but thatā€™s literally their only ā€œcrimeā€ if you can call it that.
Itā€™s such easy bullshit to debunk with canon and a lot of the confusion comes from a lack of second thoughts. The Institute created synths for hyper specific and inhumane purposes. Why in Earth would they propagate information that says:
ā€œYeah these things are basically people that we made hella strong and forced in to subsigation through threats of death and mind wipe to the point theyā€™d rather escape and have their memories of this place cleaned rather than live and remember their horrible treatment. But not they donā€™t have sentience or like human needsā€¦ I think.ā€
Like these are your guys? This is who youā€™re taking the word of? Wake up Commonwealth!
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natasharswifey Ā· 2 months ago
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If I had a nickel for every time I fell in love with a red-haired spy, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.
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vertigoartgore Ā· 6 months ago
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2012's Winter Soldier Vol.1 #1 variant cover by Gabriele Dell'Otto.
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goddesspharo Ā· 11 months ago
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We have an unusual problem here. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being. Hangman and Phoenix as Mr. & Mrs. Smith
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arborpoo Ā· 6 months ago
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agent mega wouldnā€™t have missed
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penny00dreadful Ā· 11 months ago
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Spies AU - Complete
Part 1 Part 15 AO3
13th December 2015
Kas was dead.
The ghost that haunted the nightmares of Creelā€™s enemies was dead.
The legend was dead.
The news was met with both disbelief and scorn throughout the underworld.Ā 
Kas the Bloodyhanded had not only been real and just as deadly as all the rumours had said, but he had also gone down burning the mansion of the most ruthless and influential criminal boss in modern memory, stabbing his master in the back in the process.Ā 
It sounded like something out of a novel.
He had killed his boss for his sweetheart, the rumours said.
It gained him a new title.
Kas, The Betrayer.
People made it a whole romantic thing.
That Kas had found out his next job was to assassinate his sweetheart and he just couldn't do it because he was so in love, he turned on his boss, making sure his sweetheart was safe before he went to Creelā€™s mansion, the two of them perishing amongst the flames.
If Kas had been legendary before he was borderline mythical now.
Steve wrinkled his nose.
It was all twisted up with a rose coloured filter over the top, sweeping orchestral music and dramatic declarations of love.
The truth of it was dirtier, bloodier, tinged with fear and panic. It was slow and agonising and heartbreaking.Ā 
Kas hadnā€™t turned his back on Creel the second he was given the order to kill his sweetheart.
He had broken into Steveā€™s apartment and pointed a gun at him and intended to kill him.Ā 
And Steve had looked him dead in the eye, knowing that Eddie could have easily done just that.
But Steve also knew, down into his soul, that Eddie wouldnā€™t hurt him.
Kas might have, but Eddie would never.
He never doubted for a second, even when Eddie did, even when Eddie had thought he could still kill him.
But when it came down to it, Eddieā€™s eyes had been shiny, his lip was trembling and his hand had been shaking.
He knew Creel was watching him and was listening to make sure he went through with it. Because he suspected that Eddie had gone soft. That this was a line he couldnā€™t cross.Ā 
And he was right, though he didnā€™t need to know that at the time.
Eddie had shot, but heā€™d moved the gun, the bullet tearing through the communicator over Steveā€™s ear, destroying it.Ā 
Steveā€™s vitals flatlined like they had back when heā€™d taken that baseball bat to the back of the head and his communicator self-destructed.
The echo of the gunshot through Steveā€™s apartment had no sooner faded than Eddie had collapsed in on himself.
Steve had crumpled to the floor right along with him, wrapping himself around him, unable to break through Eddieā€™s sobs about how heā€™d just condemned his people to painful deaths because Creel would find out, of course heā€™d find out, and heā€™d make their deaths agonising and heā€™d make Eddie watch and-
Steve had to kiss him to quieten him, try to calm him down so he could get a word in edgewise.
It was wet and messy and gross but it did the job.
He was finally able to tell Eddie they had his people in their sights, it would just take one phone call to make them safe.
ā€œCall them!ā€ Eddie had his fists curled into Steveā€™s top, his face was wet and blotchy and red and he stared at Steve, practically shaking him. ā€œCall them, sweetheart, please! I canā€™t- I canā€™t lose them, I canā€™tā€¦ā€
Eddie broke down again, so Steve just held him tighter. He pulled Eddieā€™s hair away from his face and tried to continue soothing him, rocking him back and forth. He took his phone out and dialled.
Eddie was still shaking in his arms when he told the kids to eliminate their targets and call him back once it was done.
He held him close and tried to comfort him, to make him feel better, but Eddie was still convinced everything was hopeless.
When Steve tried to get him up off the floor and take him into his safe room, keep him as secure and sheltered and away from Creel for as long as he could, Eddie had refused to move.Ā 
He couldnā€™t hide, he couldnā€™t run.
He had to go get Robin.
Creel would be keeping an extremely close and suspicious eye on him, just in case he had managed to do exactly what he had just done.Ā 
Betray him.
Steve felt the panic starting to kick in again at the reminder that Robin had just been fucking attacked in the office but Eddie told him with a thick voice and a shake in his arms, like he expected Steve to lash out at him, that they werenā€™t going to kill her.
Creel wanted her.
It was barely a half an hour later when the kids had called back to say Eddieā€™s people were safe, theyā€™d managed to eliminate their targets with terrifying efficiency, Eddie collapsed all over again. But there were no tears this time, just hyperventilating relief.Ā 
He wasnā€™t sure he believed it at first, Steve could tell from the look on his face, he was both relieved and a little disbelieving. Heā€™d spent so long under Creelā€™s thumb, thinking that this was all his life was ever going to be until he died.Ā 
It was a little difficult to swallow that he was nearly out.
But eventually Steve managed to assure him that it happened. Freedom was just on the horizon and Steve would do anything to make sure Eddie got there.
Surprisingly the most difficult person to take down had been Billy. Steve would have expected it to be Connie, but apparently Billy just refused to stay down. And he played dirty.
All the kids had to come in and help with that one.Ā 
But Max had told him sheā€™d taken great joy in crushing his balls and his head under her baseball bat.Ā 
In that order.Ā 
The next few hours were a whirlwind of activity.
Eddie gave Steve as much information as he could about Creelā€™s contingency plans and in return, Steve told Eddie about the night he and Robin came out to each other, telling him to use that if he needed her to play along.
Steve had then called Hopper and got him up to speed, getting him to bring in his most trusted Agents to help knee-cap Creel before he could run. Then all that was left was to follow Eddie to the office and then to the mansion at a distance.
He had to admit, it was a lot of dramatic flair to bust into Creelā€™s office when he did, but he had been given the perfect opening, how could he not respond to being called just a piece of ass?
But then everything had gone to shit.
Robin got stabbed, Eddie disappeared and a corner of the mansion had been blown to pieces, killing four Agents and severely injuring three.
The smoke and flames were only getting higher and Eddie hadnā€™t reappeared yet.
Hopper looked like he wanted to stop him going back in after he had gotten Robin to safety, but they both knew nothing was going to stop him finding his baby.
Steve had never felt fear like he did carrying Eddie out of that burning building.Ā 
Eddie was slipping in and out of consciousness, sometimes speaking, sometimes going completely limp and when he muttered ā€œI love youā€ with his head lolling against Steveā€™s shoulder, Steve nearly broke down on the spot.
He tried to stop him, tried to convince the both of them that he didnā€™t want to hear it now, he wanted to hear it after, he wanted to hear it when Eddie was safe and whole and okay.
But Eddie was insistent and Steve would never be able to deny him anything.
Even as he sat and watched Eddieā€™s chest slowly rise and fall in his hospital bed, small and fragile and delicate, he knew heā€™d give Eddie anything he ever wanted for the rest of his life.
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13th December 2015
ā€œUm, hello?ā€
Steve looked up from his curled up position on the chair by Eddieā€™s bed.
He was met by the sight of three familiar faces peering around the doorframe, Jeff, Gareth and Grant looking in at him with polite masks, trying to hide their confusion about who this tired and worried stranger was sitting by their friends bedside.
ā€œHi.ā€ Steve said, getting to his feet and wincing at the various cracks his joints let out, giving away that heā€™d been sitting in the same position for far too long.
Even though heā€™d been at this job for nearly ten years, it never got any less weird meeting people who had no idea who he was when he knew an extensive amount about them.
He shook their hands as they introduced themselves by name but then hesitated, trying to figure out how to introduce himself.
ā€œSteve.ā€ He said. ā€œIā€™m hisā€¦ā€ he glanced back at Eddie then towards the boys again. ā€œIā€™m- Iā€™mā€¦ his.ā€
The soft smiles they gave him in response were almost enough to break his heart all over again.
He turned back, gesturing them over to Eddieā€™s bedside, needing a moment to get himself under control.Ā 
Grant seemed to take pity on him, breaking the silence as they all sat down, the great big bear of a man settling himself down gently at Steveā€™s side while Gareth and Jeff sat at the opposite side of the bed.
ā€œHowā€™s he been?ā€
Steve swallowed through the emotions and managed a smile. ā€œHeā€™s been in and out. Itā€™s gonna take a few months for him to heal. His lungs and chest will always be moving while he's breathing so itā€™ll be harder. But heā€™s really just sleeping off the worst of it at the moment.ā€
He wanted to reach out and take Eddieā€™s hand again, but he felt so awkward about it.
Gareth sighed, resting his elbows on the edge of the bed and holding his head in his hands. ā€œWe always knew it would be something stupid like this that got him.ā€ He muttered, angry and worried all at once. ā€œI mean, heā€™s a demolitions expert. Shouldnā€™t he know not to let a building collapse around him?ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not fair, Gare.ā€ Jeffā€™s eyes flicked in between Steve and Gareth like he expected Steve to jump up and start defending Eddieā€™s honour, but Steve knew people and he knew Gareth was just fucking stressed and worried. He didnā€™t blame him. It would have been worse if heā€™d known what actually happened.Ā 
Gareth opened his mouth as if he was about to argue back but just as quickly deflated.
ā€œI know. Maybe now Wayne will actually be able to convince him to retire.ā€
Steve nodded, hoping that he would also be able to convince Eddie to keep himself safe from now on too. But now that he thought about it-
ā€œWhere is Wayne?ā€ He asked, realising that he hadnā€™t seen him yet. ā€œI would have expected him to be breaking down the doors as soon as he heard.ā€
Jeff nodded. ā€œHe would have been if he could have. But there was an issue with his dialysis nurse. Apparently she just up and quit out of nowhere and heā€™s pissed. So heā€™ll be in once he has a new nurse sorted out.ā€
ā€œOh.ā€
Shit.
Maybe he should try to help with that. It was the least he could do, really.
ā€œHow come Eddieā€™s back in Hawkins anyway?ā€
Steve fidgeted with the hem of his sleeves. ā€œUmā€¦ that would be me.ā€ He said, unable to meet their eyes. ā€œI thought he would want to be back here with you and with Wayne. I know I was probably overstepping, Iā€™m sorry-ā€
A warm and gentle hand landed on his shoulder. ā€œItā€™s okay, man. I think heā€™s gonna be very appreciative of it once heā€™s able to tell which way is up.ā€ Grant said, his voice soft and comforting.
Steve gave him a small smile back and settled a little more comfortably in his chair.Ā 
It didnā€™t last very long though, because Jeff looked across the bed at him and asked in a curious voice, ā€œSo. How did you two meet?ā€
And fuck.
They hadnā€™t come up with any kind of story about that. When would they have had the time? In between running into each other on jobs or trying to scramble for their lives and the lives of their loved ones?
The three of them were looking at him expectantly and he had to figure out something.
ā€œOh, we uhā€¦ I guess it was whenā€¦ um- so what happened was-ā€
ā€œTried to pickpocket him.ā€ Eddieā€™s wheezing voice came from the bed. Four heads whipped around to look at him as he rubbed his cheek into the pillow, his eyes gleaming in Steveā€™s direction. ā€œThen he shoved me into an alley and paid- paid me $20 to blow him.ā€ Eddieā€™s words were stilted and slow, his breathing a little shorter and sharper than usual, not able to move his chest as he normally would but he was coherent and sure.
Steveā€™s face lit up fire truck red. ā€œThatā€™s not-ā€ He stuttered, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.Ā 
He really wanted Eddieā€™s people to like him and this was not the way to do it.
ā€œā€˜S how I remember it, sweetheart.ā€
Jeff and Grant sniggered to themselves while Gareth hummed, placing a hand against Eddieā€™s arm.Ā 
ā€œDid you at least make it good for him?ā€
Eddie shrugged, just a little jerk of his shoulder on his uninjured side, wiggling around to face his friend.Ā 
ā€œWorth every cent.ā€
Gareth nodded like he expected as much. ā€œNot the worst thing youā€™ve ever done in an alleyway.ā€
Eddie grinned back. ā€œDamn straight.ā€
Steve squirmed in his seat, still wanting to defend Eddie against his friends who were clearly only poking fun and not taking anything he said seriously.Ā 
It was the same kind of ribbing heā€™d get from Robin. Maybe not from the kids, but Robin would be going for his throat in the exact same way, especially if he scared her like Eddie must have done to his friends.
Steve let himself fade into the background, watching the four of them catch up around him.Ā 
Despite his pallid and tired face lying in the hospital bed, Eddie looked like heā€™d been given an injection of adrenaline, alight with energy being back around his friends again.Ā 
It made Steve so happy to see he wanted to fucking cry.Ā 
With slow and calculated movements, he managed to slip out of the room, mostly unseen. Eddieā€™s eyes flicked over to him once or twice but there was no fear or apprehension about being left alone in them, just a small ticking up at the corner of his mouth, letting Steve know it was okay, he was well taken care of here.Ā 
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13th December 2015
Steve stayed gone a little longer than he had meant to.Ā 
Heā€™d gotten on the phone with Robin, giving her an update on everything and like the two of them so often did, they ended up completely lost in conversation, it was only when she mentioned the kids had asked about how he and Eddie were doing that he remembered he needed to call them too.
The kids were beyond curious about Eddie, both about how he was healing and how on earth Steve had managed to bag such a badass assassin.
Steve frowned.
ā€œBecause Iā€™m a badass super spy?ā€
ā€œWell yeah.ā€ Dustin agreed with an eye roll that Steve could hear. ā€œWe know that but Eddie sounds so cool and youā€™re just soā€¦ā€
ā€œIā€™m just so what, Henderson?ā€
ā€œYouā€™re just soā€¦ likeā€¦ straight laced.ā€
ā€œOkay, one: thereā€™s nothing straight about me-ā€
ā€œWell duh-ā€
ā€œTwo: I am definitely hot enough to bag someone like Eddie-ā€
ā€œUgh-ā€
ā€œKeep giving me lip and I wonā€™t let you meet him.ā€
ā€œSteve.ā€ Dustin sighed as if disappointed. ā€œYour new boyfriend, partner, lover-ā€
ā€œOh god, donā€™t ever use that word again-ā€
ā€œWhatever he is to you, is an assassin with a code name from D&D, what makes you think you can keep us away?ā€
ā€œIā€™ll use my super sexy spy skills-ā€
ā€œStop-!ā€
ā€œKeep him hidden away from little shithead gremlins-ā€
ā€œWe are all in our mid-twenties-ā€
ā€œDonā€™t remind me-ā€
It went on like that for a while, as it usually did whenever he and Dustin devolved into bickering, neither of them able to get a full sentence out as they poked at each other.
ā€œWhen was the last time you left the hospital grounds?ā€
Steve snapped his mouth shut, Maxā€™s voice coming from nowhere through the phone while he and Dustin snapped back and forth, all the kids on speaker phone.
ā€œIā€¦ I can take care of myself, Mayfield.ā€
ā€œUh-huh. Is that why youā€™re not answering the question?ā€
Steve pursed his lips.
ā€œOh, look at that! Iā€™m going through a tunnel, bye!ā€
ā€œSte-!ā€
He hung up, knowing far too well that the argument that had surely broken out between the kids would take up enough time for him to come up with a proper excuse about why heā€™d been holed up in the hospital day in and day out and not at the hotel room provided by the Agency.
Shaking his head and seeing evening start to creep in through the windows, he decided some shitty vending machine coffee would be the best option for tonight, getting a second cup of decaf for Eddie in case he was still awake.
As he approached Eddieā€™s hospital room he noticed the door was now closed and based on his glimpse through the window, the boys had left. Eddie was sitting up though, propped up against his numerous pillows, which was a good sign.
Steve shouldered his way through the door, eyes on the cups in his hands.
ā€œThe kids are still crawling up my fucking ass about getting to meet you-ā€
Steve snapped his mouth shut, noticing the other figure in the room, sitting at Eddieā€™s bedside, a cane in one hand and an eyebrow raised.
Wayne.
Eddie was glancing between the two of them, not quite apprehensive but not quite gleeful either. Maybe a little nervous.
Steve blinked, still frozen in place while Wayne appraised him.
Eventually Wayne leaned back in his chair, fingers laced over his belly.Ā 
ā€œS-Steve.ā€ Steve said, by way of a truly pitiful introduction, like an idiot, given he was still standing there like a fish out of water.
ā€œI know who you are.ā€ Wayne answered, completely impenetrable. ā€œSeems a bit sporty for you, Ed.ā€
ā€œWayne, be nice.ā€ Eddie chastised his uncle, who didnā€™t take his eyes off Steve even as a slow smile curled over his face. ā€œLook at him, the poor guy- s shaking in his trainers.ā€
Steve huffed, shoving his nerves down and finally getting his legs to start moving again, placing the decaf cup down on Eddieā€™s rolling table.
ā€œIs this going to be my life now?ā€ He asked the both of them. ā€œBeing teased mercilessly by everyone close to you?ā€
Eddie grinned at him, wide and toothy. ā€œAbsolutely.ā€
Steve threw himself down into the chair across from Wayne. ā€œWell, nothing Iā€™m not used to I suppose.ā€
Wayne was still smiling at him, his head tilted to the side in a move that was way too familiar, his eyes boring into Steve with an intensity heā€™d rarely wilted under before but Jesus Christ did he feel like wilting now.
ā€œYouā€™ve got kids?ā€
Steve felt his ears heat up.
ā€œNo, theyā€™reā€¦ well the kids- or not kids, theyā€™re in their twenties, but I took them under my wing a few years ago and I guess they stuck around-ā€
Wayne hummed, cutting him off and nodding his head.
ā€œEd always wanted kids.ā€
The squeak that left Steveā€™s throat was not something he would ever admit to under threat of death or torture, ever, ever, ever.Ā 
All his years of spy training, all his years of dedication and subterfuge and unflappable confidence went out the fucking window in the face of Wayne Munson, the most important person in Eddieā€™s life.
He couldnā€™t stand to look in Eddieā€™s direction.
ā€œOh, I- meā€¦ me too, I guess.ā€
ā€œYou guess?ā€
ā€œWayne.ā€ Eddie said a little more forcefully. ā€œLeave him alone. I just managed to get- get my claws into him, I donā€™t need youā€¦ scaring him off.ā€
Wayne finally tore his gaze away and Steve felt like he could breathe again.
ā€œYou finally gonna listen to me and retire from that job?ā€ Wayne asked, turning to Eddie. ā€œDo something a little less dangerous?ā€
Eddie smiled at his uncle, eyes flicking to Steve and then back again. ā€œYeah, I think so.ā€
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1st June 2016
Steve was fucking exhausted.
His last few months at work had been busier than usual, the vacuum of power Creel left in his wake giving all those on the lower rungs ideas about ascending to his level and neither Steve nor the Agency were about to let that happen.
But Jesus Christ, these people did not go down easy.
Steve grimaced as he stepped into the elevator up to his apartment, the small metal box closing him in with his own smell, stagnant water, fish and something oily and greasy.
His clothes were still damp from where he and his opponent had tumbled into the old breeding pool at the abandoned salmon farm and all he wanted to do was fucking shower.
Scrub himself until the top layer of skin was removed completely, fall into bed and then sleep away the rest of the night until Eddie got back from his visit to Hawkins tomorrow.
He was pretty sure he could almost see the cartoon grey cloud hanging over his head, his shoulders slumped, his head drooped and his footsteps plodding as he made his way down the hallway to his apartment.
Steve shoved his apartment door open and was met with a sensory overload.
The sounds of guitar and drums were vibrating through the air and the smell of something garlic and creamy hitting him as he closed the door behind him. The apartment was warm and the lights were already on.
His stomach grumbled so loud, he could hear it over the metal music and he was pretty sure his mouth was fucking watering.
As he stepped further inside, Steve was met with the sight of Eddie practically throwing himself around their kitchen, head swinging back and forth, knees kicking up, fist in the air while something bubbled in a saucepan on the stove.
Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot-
ā€œWoah.ā€ Eddie said as he turned and caught sight of him, completely unashamed about what heā€™d just been doing, but turning the music down anyway.Ā 
Steve watched him, a little dazed, his posture still slumped and probably looking like a damp, kicked puppy.
ā€œWhat happened to you, sweetheart?ā€ Eddie asked, stepping closer. ā€œRough day at the office?ā€
Steve blinked at him, overwhelmed and bone tired.
ā€œYouā€™re here.ā€
Eddie grinned at him, stepping closer again. ā€œIā€™m here.ā€
Steve took a few steps back with his hands up though all he wanted to do was just fall into him.
ā€œI wouldnā€™t.ā€ He frowned, even as he said it. ā€œI smell like shit.ā€
Eddieā€™s brow wrinkled but he still continued to approach. ā€œI donā€™t care.ā€ He said, even as he couldnā€™t help the scrunch of his nose. ā€œIs that fish?ā€
Steve grimaced as Eddieā€™s fingertips touched his cheek, the thick layer of grime he could feel over him making him squirm.
ā€œOkay.ā€ Eddie said, giving in to Steveā€™s clear discomfort. ā€œYou go shower and Iā€™ll finish up your dinner. Sound good?ā€
Steveā€™s shoulders fell again, but this time in relief and he shot Eddie what must have surely been a grateful if not lovesick smile.
ā€œYeah.ā€ He sighed out.
Eddie sent him off to the bathroom with a wink, the volume of the music climbing again behind Steve as he walked away, though not as loud as it had been.
Steve shuddered to himself as he peeled his clothes off, barely wasting any time between getting naked and throwing himself into the shower, not even bothering to switch it on first.
He could deal with the cold spray until it got warm.
His muscles unwound themselves and his brain finally started to get a bit quieter as the smells around him slowly changed from disgusting fish and old water smells to the soapy fresh smells of his shampoo and body wash.
Steve was no stranger to taking time in the shower, making sure he gave his hair all the love and attention it needed but tonight he stayed even longer, just letting the hot water melt his muscles into a puddle.
He had his forehead against the shower tiles, letting the water hit his back. He didnā€™t even jump when the door slid open behind him and a pair of tattooed arms wrapped around him to hold him tight, warm and comforting.Ā 
ā€œAre you letting dinner burn again?ā€ Steve asked, turning his head a little against the tile to glance over his shoulder.
Eddie was watching him with dark eyes, his lips pressed against Steveā€™s neck.
ā€œNo. Iā€™m keeping it warm in the oven for you. And Iā€™ve only ever burned dinner once.ā€
ā€œBecause youā€™re insatiable.ā€
ā€œBecause I love you.ā€
Steve pressed his arms down over Eddieā€™s, keeping them in place around him.
ā€œI love you too.ā€
ā€œI know.ā€ Eddie hummed into his neck, not kissing, just dragging his lips up and down with the lightest of touches, lightly trailing his fingers down Steveā€™s stomach.
Steve tipped his head back as Eddie began to press his palm against him, working him up to full hardness in almost no time and sucking at the skin just below his jaw.
He was just starting to get lost in the rhythm of thrusting his hips forward when Eddie removed his hand, turning Steve by the shoulder and guiding him to lean back against the tile wall.
He watched with hooded eyes as Eddie slowly lowered himself to his knees, barely settling his weight down before he took Steve into his mouth and straight down to the back of his throat.Ā 
Steveā€™s eyes rolled and his head dropped back to thunk against the tiles. Eddie had his hands splayed over his hips, holding him down and Steve dug his fingers into the wet curls atop his head, not gripping or pulling, just resting there, content enough to feel the small bobbing motions.
ā€œBaby,ā€ he panted, tilting his head back down and watching Eddie look up at him with those huge eyes, lips red, cheeks hollow and fully hard. ā€œTouch yourself, please.ā€
Even though his mouth was stretched around Steveā€™s cock, he still somehow managed to grin, knowing Steve was desperate to see him enjoy himself as well.
Steve brought his other hand up from where it was hanging limp, using it to tangle his fingers with the one Eddie still had on his hip, holding on tight while he was brought to the edge in record time, spilling down Eddieā€™s throat embarrassingly quickly while Eddie worked himself in his hand.
If Steve had thought he felt boneless before, it was nothing on what he felt now, his legs shaking and his mind calm and quiet while Eddie stood, just in time to cum all over Steveā€™s stomach.Ā 
He looked down as it was all slowly washed away under the stream of water then back up when Eddie hooked a finger under his chin, guiding him into a slow and sweet kiss, full of love and affection.
ā€œAre you feeling up to dinner?ā€ He asked, soft against Steveā€™s lips. ā€œOr do you just want to go straight to bed?ā€
Steve blinked at him slowly, his eyelids feeling weighted down.Ā 
ā€œI need to eat.ā€ He muttered.
Heā€™d love nothing more than to go straight to bed, but he couldnā€™t let all of Eddieā€™s hard work cooking him food go to waste. Heā€™d never missed a dinner Eddie had made him and he didnā€™t intend to start now.
It wasnā€™t that he didnā€™t want the food Eddie made him, he very much did and it had smelled divine but he wasnā€™t completely sure he would be able to stay awake through the whole thing.
And heā€™d missed him.Ā 
Eddie had been gone for a few days already by the time heā€™d been called out on his latest mission and Steve had ached to have him near again. He wanted to be close and he couldnā€™t force Eddie into bed with him when it was barely even seven in the evening.
Eddie was watching him with those burning and intense eyes like he was picking apart all of Steveā€™s thoughts and scanning through them, cataloguing them and tucking them away for later.
ā€œOkay.ā€ He smiled against his lips. ā€œYou want me to help you dry off and get dressed?ā€
Steve tipped his head to the side, burying his nose into Eddieā€™s neck and pulling him in tight.
ā€œIā€™m just glad youā€™re home.ā€
Eddie squeezed him back.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m glad Iā€™m home too.ā€
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25th March 2023
Steve settled his gun harness around his shoulders, so lost in thought he nearly jumped when Eddie rounded the corner and leaned against their closet doorway.
ā€œSomething on your mind?ā€ Eddie asked, arms crossed, the black of his wedding band stark against his skin, the only jewellery he was wearing this early in the morning.
Steve nodded, bucking himself in. He took the few steps forward until he was in Eddieā€™s space, running his hands up and down his arms.
ā€œDo you remember what one of the first things Wayne said to me was?ā€
A crease appeared in Eddieā€™s brow to go along with the confused smile on his face.
ā€œThat you were too sporty for me?ā€
Steve shook his head, gripping Eddieā€™s arms tighter.
ā€œHe asked me if I had kids.ā€
Eddieā€™s mouth drew into a tight line.
ā€œNot this again, sweetheart, please-ā€ he moved to pull away but Steve held him tighter, keeping him in place. He knew that if Eddie wanted to break out of his grip he could have but he felt a small little bit of relief when he stayed where he was.
ā€œAnd he said you always wanted kids too.ā€
ā€œI did. I do. You know I do. But weā€™ve talked about this so many times-ā€ Eddie sighed, pressing his forehead against Steveā€™s collarbone. ā€œYour job is too dangerous. We canā€™t expose kids to that.ā€
ā€œWhen I first took in the Party, they were practically kids.ā€
ā€œThey were teens. Thatā€™s different. We donā€™t need kids to have a full marriage.ā€
Steve nosed into Eddieā€™s hair, cupping the back of his head.
ā€œBut you want them. I want them.ā€
Eddie just burrowed in deeper. ā€œBut we donā€™t need them.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t want to die with regrets, baby. I donā€™t want to be old and grey and thinking I shouldnā€™t have let my job get in the way of life with you.ā€ He placed a kiss against Eddieā€™s temple. ā€œAnd youā€™d be so pretty with children swinging out of you.ā€
That got Eddie to laugh. ā€œOh yeah, real pretty. You get to swan off and shoot people in the face. Meanwhile Iā€™m back here, trying to handle fuckingā€¦ Spider-Man birthday parties or something.ā€
ā€œYouā€™d love it.ā€ Steve grinned, bringing his hands up to cup Eddieā€™s face, pulling his head back just enough to look at him. ā€œYou love being my little house husband.ā€
Eddie turned his head, grinning into Steveā€™s palm.
ā€œI do.ā€
ā€œIā€™ll talk to Hopper when I get back, okay? See if I can transition over to training duty for new recruits or something.ā€
ā€œReally? Youā€™d give up your dream position for that?ā€
Steve dipped forward, pressing a slow, sweet kiss against Eddieā€™s lips.
ā€œYouā€™re my dream, baby.ā€
Eddie rolled his eyes, but brought his hands up to circle Steveā€™s wrists.
ā€œWho taught you such sappy talk?ā€
ā€œYou did.ā€
Steve brought him in for another kiss, just as sweet and just as loving as the last. They were only broken apart when his watch beeped.
ā€œI have to go.ā€
Eddie walked him down to the front door, lingering just inside the threshold.
Steve kissed him again, squeezing his hand.
ā€œIā€™ll talk to him when I get back.ā€
Eddie nodded, a hopeful smile on his face.
ā€œWhen you get back.ā€
A week later Steve would open his eyes to Eddieā€™s tear streaked face by his hospital bed, whispering to him angry and devastated, ā€œIf you ever do that to me again, I swear to god sweetheart, Iā€™ll take you out myself.ā€
Steve just gave him a weak grin in return, squeezing his hand.
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18th August 2023
Steve groaned as he blinked his eyes open. His back was still aching after being amateurly tied to that chair for however long. Being kidnapped was such a drag.
ā€œI want to have kids with you.ā€
Steve blinked down at Eddie curled up against his chest, the morning light giving him a soft halo of light as he turned his head, chin digging into Steveā€™s sternum, eyes bleary and tired.Ā 
Like he hadnā€™t slept a wink all night.
ā€œWhat?ā€
ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½I thought-ā€ Eddie tightened his arms momentarily, not enough to aggravate Steveā€™s back, but enough that he could feel it. ā€œI thought you were gone. For a few terrible moments after Chrissy calledā€¦ I thought you were gone. And I kept thinking that Iā€™d missed it. Iā€™d missed out on it. That I could never have it again because you were gone and Iā€™d never get to see you hold our baby or push our kid on the swings or help them get ready for their first prom. You were gone and Iā€™d missed my chance and Iā€™d never have it again. Iā€™d been so scared. I was so scared. I donā€™t want to be scared anymore, Iā€™ve done enough of that in my life.ā€ Eddieā€™s voice had started to crack and he buried his face back into Steveā€™s chest.
Steve felt like his heart was breaking.
ā€œBaby-ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorry. Iā€™m sorry I was scared. I didnā€™t think- I thought weā€™d have more time-ā€
ā€œHey. Hey, baby, come here.ā€ Steve pulled at Eddieā€™s shoulders, unable to drag Eddie up his body but making his wants known. Eddie sniffled into his chest hair but wiggled his way up the bed regardless, burying his face into Steveā€™s neck while Steve enveloped him as much as he could.
ā€œWe have time. We have all the time in the world. Donā€™t jump into anything youā€™re not sure about-ā€
ā€œIā€™m sure.ā€ Eddie pushed himself up onto his elbows, his eyes red and his nose running. ā€œIā€™m sure. Iā€™ve been sure for a while, I just didnā€™t know how to- I kept putting off telling you, waiting for a better moment.ā€
ā€œItā€™s alright.ā€ Steve soothed, running his hand through Eddieā€™s hair, already knowing heā€™d give him everything. ā€œItā€™ll be a big commitment, what with my back-ā€
Something like hope was starting to dawn on Eddieā€™s face, as if Steve could have ever thought of denying him anything.
ā€œWeā€™ll make it work. And you can walk again. Plus weā€™ll be getting your car soon, with the push pull pedals. Weā€™ve fought bigger battles than this before.ā€
Steve smiled at him.Ā 
ā€œYes we have.ā€
Eddie kissed him, wet and messy and elated.
ā€œI love you, sweetheart.ā€ He whispered against his lips.
ā€œI love you too, baby.ā€
Part 1 Part 15 AO3
It's done! Thank you so much, everyone for your support through this story, it's one of my favourites I've ever written and I LOVED how completely unhinged everyone was with me while we screamed about these two boys.
The song Eddie is listening to in the kitchen is One by Metallica, an absoloute banger of a song. It in no way is symbolic or reflective of his internal thoughts, it's just a song that fucking slaps. šŸ˜…
@geekymagicalpotato @estrellami-1
Divider by firefly-graphics
Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for the magnificent beta work and to the @strangerthingswritersguild for their motivation and of course I also have @steddielations to thank for planting the seed of this idea in the first place with their own spies ficlet so a big thank you to everyone! šŸ˜Š
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salmonthecat Ā· 1 year ago
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howtofightwrite Ā· 2 years ago
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Writing a story where there's a spy in the palace whose eventual goal is to kill the king once she finds info she's looking for. Anyway, what I need is when this spy get into defensive fights in front of others [there is other trouble going on] she needs to pretend she only has rudimentary fighting skills as she's supposed to just be a princess's servant and if she kills someone needs to come across as lucky. How can she do that?
By avoiding combat entirely.
So, let's unpack this a little, her primary mission is regicide. Understandably, that tends to be a big deal. Completely shifting the political landscape big. Realistically, assassinating a king is a pretty good prelude to completely conquering a nation. So, in that sense, her job is to completely eliminate the kingdom she's infiltrating.
It shouldn't need to be said, but the royal garrison's unlikely to be chill with that plan.
A smart spymaster would have tasked the intelligence gathering to another spy. This is for a few reasons. First, assassinations and intelligence gathering are different skillsets. Second, this means that if either infiltrator is exposed the other can continue operating. Especially if they don't know the other spy exists. Which, yes. It is to the assassin's advantage if they don't know about the spy who's collecting intelligence from the palace at the same time they're working to maintain their cover. Third, it means that the assassin only needs to work at maintaining her cover, without engaging in risky behavior, before her opportunity to act. If she has to also go around rifling through locked cabinets, that jeopardizes her ability to actually snuff the king.
Just to be absolutely clear, if anyone suspects what she's there to do, she's dead. Her cover needs to be perfect until after the king is dead. This is a character who could legitimately die if she accidentally lets someone knows she speaks a language she's not supposed to know.
Her cover identity, as the princess's servant, probably shouldn't have any combat training. That's what the guard are there for.
Now, one perk is that she probably doesn't need to hide her ability to sneak (though maybe tone it down a little.) A somewhat important skill for domestic servants is the ability to avoid detection when they're presence is unwanted. This may range from an encyclopedic knowledge of the palace's hidden passages, to a serious knack for spotting and avoiding people while traversing the palace. Again, this is actually, ā€œsafe,ā€ for her, because it is a skill that her cover identity should possess.
It's important when you're writing a character to remember their strengths and weaknesses, and then play into their strengths when they engage in problem solving. In the case of a spy, this creates an added wrinkle, because their cover identity has its own strengths and weaknesses, and they need to consciously consider their approach versus how well it meshes with who they say they are.
It's also really important to remember that a spy's strengths are social. Even if she's working as an assassin, and very skilled at killing people, she's (probably) not a fighter. Her strengths lie elsewhere.
If there's potential witnesses, she probably cannot afford to fight, as that will blow her cover.
As a related concept, it's much harder to, ā€œpretend,ā€ to be a worse fighter than you actually are. To some extent, this is true of most skills, but with fighting, you can't really whiff it in actual combat, because if you do, there's a very real risk of dying. Also, I get that it's a trope, but the whole, lucky fumbling fighter also isn't a thing. Getting lucky means looking like you meant to do that. Everything after that is physical comedy, which doesn't work if you're trying to be serious.
If she needs to kill someone, she needs to do it quickly, quietly, and away from prying eyes. Preferably in ways that will not draw attention to her. So, playing to her strengths. There are options here, particularly because she knows how to get around quickly, and in the worst circumstances might even be able to, ā€œdiscover,ā€ one of her victim's bodies, if someone else finds her before she's had a chance to make an escape. (Though, this will only work once, before she starts drawing suspicion.)
Now, this is going to be a little more complicated, but it's something to consider. Every time your characters score an easy victory against an opponent, that reduces their threat (in the audience's eyes.) (You can sometimes mitigate this effect if your character is exploiting an enemy's weakness, but that can be pretty tricky as well.) There are ways to have protagonists who can casually curb stomp their way through engagements, but it leads into a different kind of story, and requires a different tension with the antagonists.
If your character is getting into fights against enemies who are so ineffectual, that she can clown on them, that will kneecap their ability to function as a serious threat. Even against other groups. Ironically, it doesn't make your character come across as particularly powerful, they stay as the median, it makes their foes appear weak. This can even drag down the perceived power of other characters who have faced off against them.
So, like I said at the beginning, the best option is for her to avoid combat if at all possible. It's not her area of expertise, she cannot afford to win a fight (if there's witnesses), and if she does win while managing to pass herself off as just getting lucky, that will will diminish her antagonists.
-Starke
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