#spfpp addiction

[somethingpositive4positivepeople]

SPFPP 265 Freedom in the Questioning of the Unknown

After losing the audio where our guest Lauren shared surviving abuse in a marriage, we FINALLY got to revisit the convo. Apologies in advanced just because my mics didn't have the setup I thought I bought, so there's significant moments of background noise between the pug and Lauren's partner. Basically this sounds like every other podcast episode haha. I think this episode will connect with people who've aimed to fix people, and who live by loyalty due to their religious ties. Some people sty in relationships too long after their expiration date, and Lauren shares a story that demonstrates that well.

[somethingpositive4positivepeople]

SPFPP 238: Recovering in Community

Julian shares his struggles with addiction and his healing process while recovering in community. What I love about this episode is that we have a masculine presence here, not in the sense of in relation to the feminine or exclusively to sex. We are able to put a vulnerability lens to our displays of masculinity hopefully as an example for other men to express their emotions and healing in their own ways as well.

Here's a link to the podcast on love addiction I mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-addiction-with-vic-mensa/id1449305737?i=1000433203421

[somethingpositive4positivepeople]

Earlier today, I was asked about my bandwidth to communicate with so many different people. I have an answer that sounds good, and I have the real answer. I’m just offering to people what it was that I needed at the time when I didn’t know what I needed.... to have had space held for. Maybe this is my coping with my own diagnosis, or maybe it’s my healing. I could ACTUALLY have a huge problem that’s an avoidance strategy from actually dealing with my own diagnosis, and I’m building community and support around me so that I never at any point have to deal with rejection again as this has become my pool of getting a variety of needs met. I could be addicted to being needed and I found a way to replicate my childhood trauma and mommy issues by being to the world what I thought I needed to be to my mother. Maybe I just like attention 🤷🏿‍♂️ Whatever it is, I’m glad y’all trust me, support my efforts at suicide prevention through bringing light to the intersection of mental health and sexual health stigma. I almost stopped doing the podcast given its 200 episodes but I been getting signs not to and then this message today comes through blatantly saying not to. I tell people to come get what you need and then move on with your life, and thought maybe it was time for me to demonstrate that for y’all in a way to practice what I preach. But Carl reminded me about my value of consistency, and he reminded me of my resilience and Lindsey challenged my “this or” patterns I was reverting back to rather than my THIS AND mindset I’ve evolved into over the years. The universe is pulling me to expand, not quit, not shift, but to do this AND the things I find to be more useful. I just have to be willing to let go of who I thought I was for who the word needs me to be, and quit resisting that with excuses of bandwidth. So thank you all for these reminders, I do have the bandwidth. I can do this AND, not this OR. My trauma groomed me for this 🤣 #somethingpositiveforpositivepeople #spfpp (at St. Louis, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/CM5O4afhtiG/?igshid=1lhochggpnxhq

[somethingpositive4positivepeople]

I need to take breaks and step away from being @honmychest and honor my boundaries blah blah all that shit, but not being accessible probably gives me more anxiety than being accessible even if for a short window of time. If I CAN be there, why not be there, ya know? I’m what I learned to be a survivor of suicide and some early adulthood trauma has probably contributed to my willingness to be there for someone when they absolutely need it. Someone in our community killed himself in 2019 and nobody can confirm what he had going on because his family didn’t know about his diagnosis, and all we knew he was going through as people in a herpes support group with him was that he had this diagnosis. It’s hard for me NOT to be there and yeah maybe it’s a trauma response, maybe I’m addicted to being needed, but regardless, I don’t want to chance being wrong because I need to force myself to just . . . not do what I feel compelled to do. This is for me, just as much, if not more than it is for those I serve. #somethingpositiveforpositivepeople is not a herpes resource, this is a suicide prevention resource. Herpes just serves as the gateway to healing. I take care of myself perhaps by taking care of others emotionally. I recognize when I’m drained, and I do what I have to do. As the a human behind @honmychest I have my own handful of Honmychests for my own support in order to stay aligned. In the words of my therapist, “I can handle it”. This lady and I spoke for a half hour and she’s now aware of options to explore for her healing. Thanks to this community sharing resources, she feels empowered now knowing she has a choice where there felt as if there was none before. Thank y’all for exposing yourselves and being out there. And thanks @sexmeddoc for creating a beacon for this human to find us through the Shameless STIS talk! #spfpp (at St. Louis, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/CKuqfmIhCQn/?igshid=w4zr98csjw0z