#sperm cups

[infinitemonkeytheory]

Are Donald Trump and JD Vance supporters now carrying around specimen cups of Vance's semen marked "JD Vance Full Family Kit" to "mock democrats who can't start families"? No, that's not true: This series of photos supposedly showing "weird Republicans" does not appear to be an authentic movement springing organically from within the MAGA movement. Several suspicious aspects of the series point to this being a divisive election year stunt although at this time the source of the prank is unknown.

Will delete my earlier post

[simptasia]

reminder that is a canonical fact in the LOST universe that being on the island quadruples sperm count

[vonbaghager]

if conservatives don't want to be called "weird" then perhaps they should stop doing things like waving around cups of fake cum to mock infertility or whatever

[glittercorvid]

using a sperm bank would make me feel so eugenics-y. not saying there aren't important health and social considerations to take into account when conceiving a child but the way they charge more for blue eyes, for over 6 ft, for a fucking ivy league education? it's yuck

[raevenlywrites]

Because education should be comprehensive, sex ed or otherwise

“but why do we need to teach or mention asexuality in health class”

well my guy, maybe so asexual teens dont think something’s wrong w them ???

[boycritter]

no way buck ACTUALLY agreed to be a sperm donor THATS CRAZY

[gojosprettyprincess]

༯ Choso losing his mind in your pussy for the first time<3

“M’sorry– so so sorry baby, can’t help it!” he continuously muttered, shaking his head side to side apologetically. His adam’s apple bobbing as he nervously gulped, guilt stirring deep inside of him for being so hard on you as he plunged his cock deeper into your warm pussy with absolutely no restraint.

It’s like his hips just had a mind of it’s own the literal second his weeping lip sunk past your ring of tightness, because that’s when he went crazy. Feeling your tight, gummy walls clinging around his erection had his soul levitating. His muscular body weight is crushing you from above as he leans into you deeper. Desperate to feel your body, your warm skin, your tight, comforting pussy. Everything. Your sweet cunt was gripping his cock like a vice and it drove him out of his mind.

“It’s too good! so wa-warm ngh– and tight” he whimpered embarrassingly, he never meant to lose himself like this, but how can you blame him? :( Poor guy, this was the first time he got his pretty dick wet and couldn’t remain stable. He clenched his jaw, fighting the urge to spill inside of you right away. “It’s okay Cho— just slllow down a little” A loud moan escaped your lips and God, you could’ve sworn you felt his entire cock twitching against your velvet walls because of it.

��Can’t stop, can’t stoppp!... Fuckkk God am I in heaven??” He whined, Sweat beaded on his forehead, trickling down his dark, raven strands as his jittery cock spreads open your tight hole, your folds now slicked and messy— glistering with your creamy cum. You can feel his prominent veins rubbing up against your walls, throbbing in lewd little heartbeat thumps. “You’re a fucking angel I swear, God wish I could stay like this forever” he babbled mindlessly, his mushroom tip bullying your cervix with deep, deep strokes, eliciting needy moans of ecstasy from your lips, harmonizing with his.

Without even considering whether your body could take it or not, he indecisively maneuvered both of your legs to rest on each side of his shoulders before pressing his chest flush against your pretty bouncing tits. His feverish eyes gazed into yours with desperation. It’s like his body was there but his soul was in another dimension. Choso was soo fucked out by your sweet pussy. The position had you seeing fucking stars, Choso was so huge and muscular so having him crushing you like this made you even hornier, you discovered a kink that you never thought you had. Sultry sounds escaped his pretty mouth as he felt your nails taking against his toned back.

His brows scrunching together at the way you were sucking every inch of him in. he quickened his pace, and you gasped astonishingly in surprise once you felt Choso’s warm tongue tenderly sucking the skin near your ankle, planting delicate, caring kisses on it. Before leaning in to kiss you, your lips immediately parted, inviting his salivated tongue in as it met yours in a tangling, disgusting kiss of exchanging spit. His cock throbbed inside of you, his movements becoming more and more sloppy as he breathed heavily against your mouth. You raked your fingers through his damp strands as his bare, hard chest smushed your tits against you.

He quickly pulled away, a panicked look plastered on his face as his nails violently dug into the skin of your thighs, “Baby, baby m’gonna– gonna cum!” He practically cried out, you gently moved one of your hands to cup his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin under your touch as you caressed it. “It’s okay, it’s okay cho. Go on—“.

Not even a mere second had passed and you were blessed with the breathtaking sight of his pretty eyes rolling back, “pussy is so fucking heavenly fuckkkk” he groaned passionately, his thighs trembling as he released his aching, cum-filled balls into your warm core. The feeling of his warm sperm flooding your cunt made you moaned in relief because oh, you loved that feeling so much. His cum quickly spilled out, cascading down your asshole and the already damped sheets below the two of you.

You suddenly felt the air get punched out of your body when you felt Choso’s hardened and aroused cock speeding up in your overstimulated cunt. “I— m’sorry m’sorry m’sorry m’sorry—“ his voice hoased with desire as tears spilled from his eyes as he cried out shamelessly.

[lizzy019]

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── 18+! ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Nikto who has a lopsided cock because the bindings Zakhaev put him in made it mould uncomfortably. It's never fully erect anymore, and it doesn't exactly feel the same as it used to. He feels it through the moment, whether it be a passionate or aggressive night with you.

Nikto who has a missing testicle and suffers with hypospermia (the lack of sperm cells but not infertile). He didn't know if you would still want to suck him off, and he was quite nervous to show you. But everything seemed to change when you got on your knees to kiss his half erection and cup his one testicle.

Nikto who can't suck love marks into your skin because of his broken, misshapen and malnourished lips. While he would love to see your neck and shoulders covered in hickeys and nibbles, is biting such a bad option?

Nikto who absolutely adored your body, and he honestly would kill to see you in lingerie. The lacey fabric would make you look angelic, more so that you already look! Maybe a bright white or a suiting shade of deep green would look nice on you, but he doesn't know if you want to wear it and he won't force you,

Nikto who DEFINITELY has a breeding kink. It's the Russian part of him, he needs to have offspring to keep his name going. And when you're finally pregnant, growing a child just for him within your womb, he would still eat you tf out, even when you're just a bit too close to the finish line.

Nikto who loves degrading you when he's on top, but melts and fucking nuts when you praise him in any sort of way. He's damn near never gotten any validation during sex, but with you? No, he knows his cock is making you feel good.

Nikto who only lasts long when he's on top, forcing his misaligned cock into you with brutally paced thrusts. He'll be moving you into different positions every few minutes, needing to feel you in every possible way. Just... not when he's bottoming. He'll cum so quick that it almost always leads to you receiving some head.

Nikto who got fucking hard in his pants the first time he saw you naked. Like- damn. Why the hell did you have to be so damn gorgeous? How could he ever manage to catch someone as stunning as you? He worships you, mainly whenever it's an intimate setting.

Nikto who definitely gropes you a bit too hard. You have to forgive him, малышка, you're just so pretty! Mainly your tits, whether you have or not. Pretty nipples hardening under the callouses of his hand, he just can't get enough!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── 18+! ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

@fishsinsareacknowledged @frogcereal29 @simp4konig @puracatt :)

[ateracha]

how they fuck you against a mirror/window

bangchan & minho

bangchan:

- the idea would pop into his head when he sent you a nude mirror selfie in a hotel bathroom while on tour

- as soon as he got home, he picked you up and carried you to your shared bathroom while perfectly cupping your ass

- 100% would sit you down on the sink so he can glance at his reflection behind your back as he kissed down your neck

- once his cock is in you, he would love it if you hung your head back and watched your pupils dilate with pleasure upside down

- would place his hands on the mirror as he fucks you in missionary, loving the way his reflection towered over you

- purposely cums on your face at the end so some would spurt out onto the mirror so you could lick if clean

- would repeat the process after showering together so you two can leave handprints on the condensation

minho:

- such an exhibitionist!!

- nearly cums when he finally finds a two way mirror in the hotel room you two are staying in

- would immediately walk you backwards with a rough kiss into the bathroom

- he would make you face the mirror, your ass sticking out for him to grab and jiggle, then spank

- he would kneel down between your legs and eat your pussy (and ass if you’re lucky) from behind as your breath fogged up the mirror

- would put on a show for that someone who may be watching you two through the mirror, jamming his bulbous tip in and out of your dripping pussy until you are begging for more

- pulls your head back by your hair, one hand wrapped around your throat as he mercilessly fucks you from behind, staring intensely at your reflection with that wild look in his eyes

- cums so fucking hard thinking about someone watching you fall apart on his cock but not being able to touch you!! would start cumming inside you, then he would pull out, letting his cum get on your back, in your hair and onto you two’s reflection.

- wouldn’t clean the cum off of the mirror straight away on purpose, letting his sperm drip down the mirror as a marking

[holybibly]

♡ 𝔓𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: Innocent nerd Seonghwa х reader ♡ 𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: Gentle, shy nerd Seonghwa has a stupidly huge dick and all you can think about is how much you want him to completely destroy your pussy, but there are two problems: One, he's a virgin, and two, his huge, innocent, sparkling eyes. ♡ 𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 / 𝔄𝔲 / 𝔗𝔯𝔬𝔭𝔢: smut, University!AU ♡ ℜ𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤: 18+ / 21+ / MDNI ♡ 𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: ? ♡ 𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: Shy Virgin! Seonghwa, soft!reader, unprotected sex, first time, lots of sperm, fingering, pet names, size kink, creampie, boobs sucking, nipple play, dirty talk, pussy drunk, pussy eating, overstimulation, oral, multiple orgasms, praise kink, wet and dirty, explicit sexual content, explicit language, and more. ♡ 𝔄|𝔑: Rose Prick: (slang) pretty pink dick. Penis of overly pretty, handsome or feminine boy. And I remind you, bunnies, that I am very unpredictable, so never judge me too soon.

You try to ignore how Seonghwa's big, shining eyes focus on your breasts, his long lashes flutter, and the tip of his sharp tongue flicks between his excessively puffy pink lips, and you swallow, feeling the mucus run out of your warm, silky pussy, making your panties noticeably wet from Hwa's seemingly so simple action. It was almost embarrassing—the way an innocent look could make you so wet and hot for him. 

"Your titties look so full and soft." Seonghwa whispered, and a dark pink blush spread over his beautiful cheeks. 'Can I touch them?" The tone of his voice is so sweet, as if Seonghwa is talking about flowers and butterflies and not about your breasts. 

You gasp slightly at his words, squirming in your seat and squeezing your thighs harder, hoping to relieve the pressure that has begun to build up between your legs. The thin French lace of your panties rubs lightly against your clit from your movements, and you bite your lip to keep from moaning out loud. The mere thought of Seonghwa wanting to touch your breasts makes you shudder, causing a real internal crisis as he continues to gaze at you with the waiting, glistening eyes of a doe, waiting for you to respond to him, seemingly oblivious to your condition. 

'May I, please?' Seonghwa asks again, fluttering his long, fluffy eyelashes at you, and you melt away. How can you say no to him when he is asking you so sweetly?

"Yes, you can touch my boobs." You barely a whisper as you slowly undo more of the buttons on your blouse, exposing your plump tits, which are covered by a lace bra with lovely frills. 

Seonghwa, smiling shyly, reached for your breasts and cupped the soft mound, causing you to gasp barely audibly. You really weren't mentally prepared for this; Seonghwa's hand is warm and big, your tit fits almost completely in his palm, and that's enough to make more mucus run out of your pussy. 

Your tits have always been very sensitive, and you could easily come just from stimulating them. Which doesn't help you at the moment, especially when Seonghwa decides to touch your other tit as well. His hands massage and squeeze the tender flesh through your bra, a little rough and clumsy, but with an enthusiasm that is almost childish. Long fingers are boldly pushing down the cups of your bra down, almost exposing your nipples so that he can get a better feel for your tits. 

"They're so soft and heavy." You bite your lips to stop yourself moaning because it feels so damn good. Your round cheeks were so hot and red when you noticed how Seonghwa was looking at your tits; his beautiful lips were parted and glistening with saliva, and his big eyes were filled with admiration. 

And it made you want more, so you put your hands behind your back, unhooked your bra, and pulled it off completely, together with your blouse. The cool air was licking at your nipples, making them even harder than they already were from Seonghwa's actions so far.

Seonghwa's Adam's apple twitches as he swallows before he wraps his hands around your now naked tits once more and crushes them roughly in the palms of his hands. You let out a scream at this treatment, but you say nothing and let Hwa play with your breasts the way he wants to. You feel the rough pad of his thumb run over the sensitive nipple of your breast. 

"It feels so good; your tits are like pillows, soft and warm." Seonghwa cooed. He pinched your nipples between the pads of his thumb and forefinger, rubbing and pinching on the dark pink buds. He doesn't seem to be aware of the state you're in right now, as he works you to the fullest and enjoys the feel of your heavy, plump tits in his hands. 

This time you don't hold back; you moan loudly, arching your back and pushing your tits even harder into Seonghwa's hands as the handsome boy twists your nipples sharply between his fingers. You squeeze your thighs together even harder. The painful sensation of pleasure coursing through your body makes your hole tremble, and more viscous, clear mucus comes out. A puddle of liquid lust is building up in your panties, making them uncomfortably sticky to the touch. Seonghwa probably has no idea what he's doing to your body and how his touch is making you crave his cock inside you. 

"S-Songhwa, you have to be more gentle...I'm sensitive...' You stutter slightly as you wrap your fingers around his wrist, stopping him from moving and drawing his attention to you. "If you want to play with my nipples, you have to be gentle. Do you understand?" 

Seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side, looking at you with glassy, bambi eyes as if pondering something, before a shy smile appears on his lips and his cheeks seem to turn even more red than before. 

"Can I take it in my mouth?" He asks in a soft, velvety voice, and you think you might explode. Hell, you wanted Seonghwa to be less innocent right now, but you'll work on that, won't you? You decide to be brave as you raise your hand to his handsome face and run your fingers over his puffy lips, which are slightly parted, and press them lightly into his moist, warm mouth. Unconsciously, Seonghwa immediately closes his lips around your fingers and starts to suck on them. This only confirms your thoughts that cute Park Seonghwa has a strong oral fixation. 

"Yes, Hwa, you can take them in your mouth; you can even lick and suck them." With those words, your fingers slip out of his mouth, glistening and wet with his saliva, and Seonghwa leans down to your breasts before those sensual, slutty lips cling to your swollen, candy-pink bud. "Oh, fuck..." You almost gasp for breath as the sensation of that soft, slippery tongue cupping your sensitive nipple sends shivers down your spine. Seonghwa wraps one hand around your boobs, supporting it as his tongue rubs sensually over your nipple, while his other hand slides down your body until you can feel it resting on your bare waist, making your skin tingle where he touches it.

Your hands cling to Seonghwa's shoulders as the beautiful brunette sucks your breasts sweetly, almost childishly, swallowing the tender flesh and moaning softly with pleasure, covering his large, glistening eyes. He continues to run his tongue greedily over the soft skin of your breasts while his other hand gently squeezes your waist. Your breathing speeds up, your mouth opens in a low moan, and Seonghwa gently bites down on your nipple with his perfect teeth, accompanied by wet, lapping sounds. 

You feel a new stream of mucus pouring out of your pussy; your panties are soaked through, and you won't be surprised if you start to drip through the fabric soon. You whimper, with each passing minute, the desire to be filled, to feel how your pussy is stretching around Seonghwa's big, thick cock until it's almost painful. And you don't even know if you'll be able to take his whole cock in your cunt the first time.

You'd heard the rumours going around the university—the gentle, shy, cutie Park Seonghwa had a stupidly huge and thick cock. And maybe you'd even let it go if one of your friends who took swimming lessons in the same class with Seonghwa hadn't confirmed it. 

And damn, you couldn't wait to have a look at it and a taste of it in person.

[shysuccubusstuff]

Yandere! Mr. Scarletella:

Content: violence + stalking + voyerism + picture taking + masturbation + stealing + break of privacy + neutral reader + tampering with your food + noncon content + Stockholm syndrome. + mindbreak.

Summary: Human! Scarletella just wasn't able to stop himself from stalking falling in love with such an amazing person, God, he just loves stealing borrowing your stuff!

Note: So, I just had to write something about this amazing game, feel free to check it out and support the creator!!

SFW:

Yandere! Scarletella who fell in love since the first time he saw you around university, always being around those other guys... But he knew he just had to wait, yeah, wait for the right moment to approach you.

Yandere! Scarlatella who keeps randomly appearing on your classes from time to time. Oh, he isn't even in your course, but taking a few extra classes or even skipping some of his is no issue for him.

Yandere! Scarlatella who makes sure to get close enough so he can steal a few things from you while in class, sometimes it's your old pencil, other times he just takes whatever has touched your hand that class. That includes waiting until the university is closing to take your thrown away coffe cup (it still has your salive, so he has definitely kissed you, right?).

Yandere! Scarlatella who keeps on appearing on your daily life, you try to act as if the constant encounters are just mere coincidences, not like he even tried to strike up a conversation with you, so there must be no danger, right?

Yandere! Scarlatella who sometimes follows you back to your doorm. He always makes sure to walk quite far away from you trying to avoid freaking you out as he knows it would affect your daily routine.

Yandere! Scarlatella who climbs up the tree just to be able to catch a glimpse of your face while you're sleeping. You look so beautiful with your lips sligthly parted! ♡ You don't know it, but he has found a way of opening your window while you're sleeping. When he feels extra bold, he lets himself run his fingers through your soft lips feeling your warm breath is just enough to get him hot and bothered ♡.

Yandere! Scarlatella who begins to be feared by all your friends. They keep warning you about him, but it's not like you have any proof of what he's doing, such a shame :(( jk. He made sure to state his point, beating your poor friends to a pulp if he saw them getting a bit too close to you, he made sure to leave no visible marks, he doesn't want you worrying your pretty little head.

Yandere! Scarlatella who loses it after seeing that creepy long-haired guy far too close to you, if you wanted him to kidnap take you with him already you could've just said so dummy! Of course he wastes no time taking you from those filthy guys. You will be safe with him ♡.

Yandere! Scarlatella who breaks your poor mind after being trapped several months. Maybe being taken care of isn't so bad, right?

NSFW:

Yandere! Scarlatella who masturbates to your sleeping face, his tip being dangerously close to your lips. He can't stop imagining them surrounding his lenght...♡ He knows he has to keep patient but each day it becomes harder to act neutral.

Yandere! Scarlatella who takes photos of your clothed cunt for his collection. This collection includes many versions, from more tame ones (you smiling) to less... ethical ones (your sleeping face).

Yandere! Scarlatella who robs your underwear while you sleep. He just needs some... extra motivation. So he uses them, wrapping them around his cock as he keeps moving his hand up and down, making sure to stain your poor underwear with his sperm. He makes sure to clean them throughly before giving them back to you, although he sometimes wishes he could just cum inside the underwear you're currently using.

Yandere! Scarlatella who keeps on putting his own fluids on the stuff he feeds you. Most days he keeps it tame, deciding to introduce a bit of his salive on your food/drink, but when you behave extremely bad, he uses his cum, mixing it with your food together with some aphrodisiac, just enough to make you lose a bit of your sanity from not being able to masturbate.

Yandere! Scarlatella who keeps cameras all around his house so he can see you from different angles (all make you look like an angel ♡). He may or may not use those videos to masturbate, just maybe.

Yandere! Scarlatella who begins to use your mouth to release himself as a reward. You were just so eager to be touched! He just knew you were in love with him! It has definitely nothing to do with him being the only human contact for over six months! You let him use your mouth as he wants, forcing his cock into your throat, those sinful sounds filling his room as you try not to puke from his tip hitting the back of your throat.

Yandere! Scarlatella who slowly begins to mark your whole body as his. He started by marking your face with his cum, moving on to your mouth and then to your beautiful chest, the next step was of course cumming all over your low abdomen.

Yandere! Scarlatella who refuses to cum inside of you. He keeps controlling himself by saying that he wants to make sure both of you truly love each other... that's... well. Let's just say that he is just another level of delusion, but don't worry, he would never give up on his sweet and precious darling ♡ !

[blkgirl-writing]

Ahhhhh you are phenomenal! Do you have any more stray nsfw thoughts for Gale?

Oh my goodness I love this question!!! Um..I think… these are more random and much more detailed and graphic so beware 😩

More NSFW Gale of Waterdeep headcannons

He keeps thrusting hard while he’s cumming, grinding his hips against yours, milking every last drop of his orgasm

He Cums a lot, like my god does it make for a great cream pie

and he'd definitely just want to cum inside you

though it would be quite fun to tease him with keeping his cum on your face for a while after the first time he came on your face. You confidently walking back too camp while he followed closely "did you forget to wipe your face?" "love, everyone will see-oh, unless you wanted..that?"

he immediately gets hard again from that idea

Astarion would make quite a few jokes at Gales expense seeing the mess he made on you

and a few small comments on how he could do better

the next night Gale made sure to make you scream his name extra loudly, and wouldn't bother to cover your mouth to shush you

he has a hard time cumming from head, honestly. he loves getting it but he'd much prefer to be inside you

one you get to his real home, his tower, he'll want to fuck you in every single corner, on every single surface

his favorite probably being bending you over the kitchen counter but there's many favorites

Gale feels award not using his hands the whole time during sex, but specifically oral, both giving and taking

he will always be fingering you , or holding up your hips, or feeling your body, his hands will always be in use

and while you give him head he'll hold your chin or cup your jaw (isn't that just the prettiest sight)

and he'd tell you how well you're doing

lowkey compliments you so much because he wants to be complimented

Literally will walk much happier after you say he has the best cock/massive cock, anything really

And of course he's packing. Always well trimmed, solid 8 inches, perfectly curved

he doesn't even have to do much with a dick like that but he still treats you like royalty

Let's talk mutual masterbation ok

He's so used to his own touch from the time he spent alone that he definitely still needs to masterbate

but gods is he feel guilty

he'll tell you every time he wants to

and you'd just hear him moaning your name

before you were together one of his biggest fantasies about you was watching you make yourself cum

laying so prettily on his bed, spread wide

that thought would make him cum so damn fast

and also unable to look you in the eye for a whole day

he couldn't look at you directly for a whole week because of the nasty things he made up

he was masterbating quite literally every second he could manage to

to the point where he didn't really have any sperm left

thankfully he didn't have to wait long til you joined his fantasies

anyway

it became a very usual thing to grind on each other til you both came

it felt intimate and he wanted to feel you cumming on his leg

Absolutely licks his fingers after pulling his finger out of you

I think thats enough for now 😭

[rememberwren]

I’ve thought of surrogate!reader with Ghoap but lately I’ve been obsessed with the thought of established Ghost/fem!reader with sperm donor!Johnny and it’s a whole new dynamic okay

Another month, another bunch of negative pregnancy tests. I can see you crying in the bathroom when Simon admits that he went and had himself tested even though you both promised not to, and he knows that he’s the one at fault. Sperm ain’t sperming. You’re not the broken one, he is.

Of course you don’t see it that way. But you finally decide to put away dreams of carrying a child of your own and instead start thinking of adoption.

All the people in your life are having children now—Gaz’s second daughter’s first birthday arrives and you’re surrounded by people politely (and not so politely) wondering when it will be your turn to have a baby. “Always asking you, but never asking me,” Ghost says dryly to make you feel better, hand on his stomach. “Maybe I want to carry the baby.”

Even Price has a child on the way—and Kate and her wife don’t want to adopt but they regularly foster. Everybody has kids in their lives.

Everybody except Johnny.

On the way home from the party Ghost brings it up—Johnny was real good playing with the kids. He’s a nice kind of guy. Good genes. Would you like to have his baby, you think? And what? It breaks your brain a little bit. But you can’t stop thinking about it. So one day Ghost has him over and the two guys go out into the yard and talk, and they’re out there for forever it feels like as you wash the same dish over and over again, watching them through the window above the sink, but then they come back and Johnny has agreed. It’s a yes. Anything for you and for his lieutenant. Ghost has saved his life enough times over in the past years; this is just one way that Johnny can pay him back.

At first you all keep it strictly above board. Johnny jerks off in the bathroom into a cup, hands off the specimen and disappears into your living room to let you and Ghost handle the insemination. Cheers.

Ghost doesn’t mean to make it sexy, gently spooning Johnny’s seed inside you—there’s just something taboo and dirty about it that sets you off. Ghost touches you so soft and gently, spreading your folds, playing with your clit, feeding the sperm into your hungry little cunt. And he makes you cum at the end because that wive’s tale is always at the back of his mind, that cumming helps with conception.

And it doesn’t work. The next month you’re devastated—and perhaps just as devastated as you is Johnny. It’s touching, almost endearing the way he takes it to heart so much, feeling like this failure was his own.

Ghost is the one who suggests that the three of you hadn’t done it right. It hadn’t been by the book. Sperm can’t live long outside the human body. The solution is simple: you and Johnny should have sex. You start stammering disapproval of the idea and have listed a whole host of reasons why it’s inappropriate when you notice Johnny’s silence. He’d do that for you. Wouldn’t be a hardship either; you’re a beautiful woman, he’s always thought so. Which is how you end up with your legs wrapped around Johnny’s waist while Ghost sits beside you in bed, reminding Johnny to make you cum. Because it helps.

And the next month, Simon and Johnny are both pacing holes in the floor outside the bathroom while you take your tests. When the door finally opens, you don’t need to say a word. The expression on your face says everything. It worked. You’re pregnant.

That should have been the last and only time Johnny fucked you with Ghost.

But it isn’t.

[harrysfolklore]

spill your guts or fill your guts

all i have to say is, i miss this man so much

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

When Harry told you that the Late Late Show asked him to do the 'Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts' segment with you as the guest, you didn't think twice before accepting the invitation.

However, as you sat in front of a table full of plates with bizarre and disgusting food, your boyfriend in front of you ready to ask you uncomfortable questions and cameras rolling catching your every reaction, you started to regret considering it in the first place.

"How are you feeling about this?" Harry asked when the cheers and applause died down, giving you his million dollar smile that made everyone drool over him.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this." You said shaking your head as you adjusted your top, giving a nervous smile to the audience.

Harry turned his head to the camera before speaking, "This is our first time, playing the game I mean," he smirked for a second, making the audience cheer and shake your head again, "And the last time we will do it also, right love?" and the blush didn't fail to appear in your cheeks at the pet name, because no matter how long you and Harry had been together, he could still make you blush like the first time.

"Right, indeed," you nodded your head, "Let's take a look at the food we have on the table."

"Okay so, we have Bug Trifle," Harry said and the audience instantly let out a collective sound of disgust, "Yeah ew," he mimicked making you laugh and he smiled slightly because your nerves were slowly fading away, "Jellyfish," the audience groaned again and Harry couldn't help himself before he mimicked them one more time "Yeah, ugh!" you laughed again as he continued naming the food for the game, that consisted in giant water scorpion, 1,000 year old eggnog, cow blood and pork tongue jelly, cod sperm, salmon smoothie and bull penis. 

"So I'll ask the first question, the producers have not shown us these ahead of time, and before I choose the food you'll have to eat I want to say something," Harry paused to look at the camera for a minute before turning to you again, "I love you babe, I consider myself a good boyfriend, and I hope I'm still a good boyfriend after this," the audience erupted in cheers and howls, and the blush rushed into your cheeks again, "That being said, let's start with the 1,000 year old eggnog."

"Nooo!" you couldn't help but squeal when the food was placed in front of you, "You know I love you too but you might end up taking the couch tonight!" Harry chuckled and the audience laughed along with him, "Is the cinnamon supposed to make this any better?" you grabbed the cinnamon stick making a disgusted face at the drink.

"Give it a sniff." Harry spread his arms as it was the most obvious thing.

"Why?" you asked but sniffed the drink anyway, "Oh my god! That's disgusting!" Harry laughed and you felt the urge to throw up without even tasting it yet.

"Come on love, It's gonna be fine," Harry sent you a wink and you rolled your eyes with affection, "Ready?" 

"No! But let's get this over with."

"Okay," Harry said as he grabbed the card to read the first question, and when he let out a devilish laugh you knew you were in for a ride, "You are great friends with the girls from BlackPink, you have been on tour together and released multiple collaborations, rank the members Jennie, Lisa, Jisoo and Rosé."

He finished the question and the audience erupted in screams and cheers, it was no secret that you and the BlackPink girls were the best of friends and they were dying to hear your answer.

You grabbed the cup and moved it close to your face scrunching your nose at the smell, "Hold on, I think I can answer it," Harry raised his brow and tilted his head at you before you continued, "I mean, I love all of them so much, and this doesn't mean I love any of them any less, It's just based on how close-"

"Drink the eggnog." Harry interrupted your rant making the audience laugh.

"Noooo!" you protested, refusing to drink the beverage, "Okay, it would be like, Jennie, Rosé, Jisoo and Lisa."

You said quickly and instantly covered your face in embarrassment, even thought the girls would understand that it's all part of the game.

"Whoo!" Harry said laughing and putting an amused face, "That was controversial, love."

"Oh shut up, It's your turn."

"Alright, now you choose something for me that I would have to eat." 

"I'll do the sperm." you said turning the table to place the food in front of him.

"Okay."

"Here you go."

"Okay." he said again and the crowd laughed for a minute.

"Just so all you know, this is exactly how an argument between us looks like, me yelling like a maniac and him just saying okay," the audience laughed again and Harry just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright," you said before clearing your throat and grabbing the card with his question, "Oh I'm dying to know this," your smirked before continuing, "Which songs on your One Direction albums are about me?"

Harry instantly covered his eyes and started laughing at the question, over the years fans have speculated about songs by the band were about you, since Harry confirmed he had a crush on you ever since you were on tour together.

With the crowd cheering and your expectantly look on him, Harry grabbed the napkin that was on the table to put it on his neck and try to cut the cod sperm, "Sooo, I would say track number-"

"No! Answer it or eat it!" you interrupted him and he had no other choice but to grab a piece with the fork that instantly made him make a disgusted face.

"Just don't look at it."

"Oh yeah, that fixes everything. Just don't look at it!" Harry sassed at you, "What we doing?" he looked at the camera almost in disbelief.

"This was your idea! Now go," and with a final look at you, he put the cod sperm on his mouth and started chewing it, looking directly at the camera as he did it.

"Just swallow it, why do you keep chewing on it."

"To spit or to swallow, that is the question," and the crowd broke down in laughs again at his cheekiness as he spit the cod sperm on the bucket beside him, "Really carries an aftertaste, fancy a kiss, love?" he tried to stand up and you stopped him immediately.

 "Nope! No kissing until we wash our mouths properly!"

"Okay so, I'll give you the salmon smoothie now."

And if Harry wasn't your boyfriend that you loved him so much and you weren't on live television, you swore you could murder him on the spot for giving you the food that you hated the most.

"Why are you doing this to me? You know I hate salmon."

"Come on love, I'm putting you up for a challenge," you rolled your eyes and he smiled before grabbing the card with your question, "Okay, you were part of Versace's newest campaign alongside some of the most popular supermodels in the world, who was the most unlikable out of all of them?"

"I have the answer. I can't say it, though," and without further notice, you grabbed the glass and took a big gulp of the salmon smoothie, feeling disgusted when the flavor hit your tongue and grabbing a glass of water to erase the aftertaste.

"Watching you drink that made me feel sick." Harry handed you his napkin and you wiped your mouth as you looked around the table to choose the next food for him.

"Okay, I'll give you the bug trifle," you grabbed the card with the question, "We have been dating for three years now, do you see yourself dating me for another three years?" 

"That's easy, yes," he shrugged and the audience went nuts at his confession, and your cheeks were blushing again as your heart melted.

"You're such a sap, and on national television too!" you teased him and he srugged again.

"I'm just a boy who's in love, can you blame me?" The crowd awed and you rolled your eyes as you encouraged him to give you your next food.

"I think we're going to go with bull penis," he cheekily smiled for a moment, "Yeah, bull penis. You ready?"

"No, but you could go."

"It's just bull penis," he said as he grabbed the next card, and when he read what was on it he instantly let out a mischievous laugh that made you nervous about what was coming, "Okay, who is the most surprising celeb to ever slide into your DMs?"

"Who is he?" Harry yelled after a few minutes of silence from you and you laughed at his antics, "That's information I must know, babe."

"I feel like I can say it, right?"

"You're telling me who was it off camera anyway, so?"

"Shut up!" you paused for a moment to think about if you should whether or not reveal that the most surprising celebrity that tried to hit on you via Instagram was no other than Liam Payne, your boyfriend's former bandmate, even tho he knew that you and Harry were happily in a relationship and you couldn't be less interested.

 "I think I'm eating the penis," deciding to be a nice person and not embarrass him on national television, you said and grabbed a piece of it to put in your mouth, "Oh my god! That was disgusting."

You grabbed the bucket beside you and threw the piece in as Harry laughed.

"Just so we're clear, however was that bloke, I hope you know she's taken, by me." Harry shrugged and gave the camera an innocent look.

"For your last question I'm giving you... the scorpion thing," you read his question and it was your turn to give him a devilish look, "Between Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn rank their solo-"

And before you could even finish the question, Harry already had the giant scorpion on his mouth, making you, the audience on set and his thousands of fans watching at home scream and laugh.

He spat on the bucket after chewing for a minute, took a big gulp of water and wiped his mouth before turning to the camera to wrap up the segment.

"That was 'Spill your guts or fill your guts', we'll be right back with more of the Late Late Show!"

[jesuistrestriste]

Sweet angel college!era Art enrolling in a medical study to make a few extra bucks who suddenly finds himself needing to give a sperm sample in front of pretty nursing student reader while she watches...

Thoughts?

he’d be sooo nervous and squirmy in his seat. he understands that she has to watch him to ensure there’s no sample contamination, and he consented to it, but now he feels.. clammy. and flushed. and a lil too turned on.

he tries to keep his eyes on his dick as he strokes himself and does his best to be quick and quiet about milking himself into the tiny plastic sample cup— but he feels her presence, and he feels her eyes on his moving hand. she’s not even doing anything. in fact, she’s just doing her job. but god, she’s hot. and she doesn’t seem too disappointed in the show he’s unintentionally putting on.

it sends wave after wave of hot blood filtering in through his veins and down into his throbbing cock; and he can’t help but cry out softly as he shudders forward and pours ropes into the cup, his sneakers squeaking on the floor as his heels dig in and his eyes squeeze shut..

after he’s done, left a sweaty and trembling mess in the chair, the sweet nurse smiles softly and takes the cup from him with a gloved hand.

“perfect,” she says kindly and gently, grabbing the cap from the counter and screwing it on top, “only took two minutes!”

art tries not to sink further into embarrassment than he already has.. hanging his head and covering his forehead with his palm. blonde curls shielding his eyes from hers.