#spencer and emily are siblings

[sirpotys]

A little headcanon I have is that Spencer accidentally ends up interrupting intimate moments between Hotch and Prentiss.

It's not the boy's fault, he just loves his sister too much.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

SPENCER: I think I’ll be able to think better under my desk.

EMILY: Won’t that be a little cramped?

SPENCER: *shrugs* You appear to be managing just fine in your closet.

EMILY: *scowls in gay*

[ketsueki-k]

This video is the most illarious I have seen !!

*They are siblings in another universe*

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

emily: name a more iconic duo than my crippling anxiety and fear of abandonment. I'll wait

spencer: you and me!

emily, tearing up: 'kay

[cherrilemon]

Spencer: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Derek: Several traffic violations.

Emily: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Penelope: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

JJ: Also, that’s not our car.

[bimafe]

they're siblings.

[mysweetgelphie]

prentiss: bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

reid, opening the box without hesitation: bet you i can!

hotch, having just entered the room: please don’t.

[whoisspence]

reid: you remind me of the ocean

prentiss: why the ocean ?

reid: because you're salty and you scare people

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

5 times the brothers competed against each other and one time they acted as a team. With something to do with Hotch, Jack & son! Reader, please ?

Dad fluff; both of them helping out when they see him at a low point :0 (mere alt idea, do what you wish tho uwu/gen) /nf

Also the werewolf!reader fic? Absolute love, it was hilarious at the end lmao — please do remember that if the request is too much, your requests are closed or you just don't feel like it, don't feel pressured to do it! Stay hydrated, have a nice day and keep your head up! uwu

A/N: credit to loud House for the +1 operation name idea/inspiration

You were twins, both highly competitive in nature and it drove your dad up the wall. The team however, found it absolutely hilarious. Here are just a few examples of the mischief you and Jack have gotten up to over the years:

1.

"Race you down the stairs!" You exclaim, bolting off down the BAU stairs. You laugh, hearing Jack protest and your dad sighing deeply trying to call after you to stop.

Care flying out the window, you sprint down the stairs. Thankfully, you appeared to have good spatial awareness. Jack was only a few stairs behind you, so you let gravity do its work. Soon enough, you're on the last set of stairs. Your ankle gives way and you tumble down the remaining stairs.

Morgan, who just walked into the hall, approaches you in concern. "You okay, kid?" You grin up at him.

"Yeah! I won!"

"That's no fair!" Jack exclaims, making it down the stairs, "I didn't know falling counted! I could have fallen a few floors ago!"

"Whatever, you're just jealous, loser!"

"Oh thank God you're both okay," Aaron mumbles, finally catching up to the pair of you.

"I won."

"You also fell down the stairs,"

"I call it tactical thinking,"

2.

Wrestling. An amazing sport that both you and Jack were obsessed with at the age of twelve. Something had possessed the pair of you to wrestle in the halls - both claiming you'd be the one who would win.

It ended up being a tie, two teachers separating you and walking you to the principal's office with a phone call to your dad. None of the teachers seemed to care that you weren't fighting per se, but competing for your homemade championship belt.

3.

"I bet I'll get a higher score on the maths test than you."

"What?" You scoffed, looking at Jack. "We both know I'm better at maths than you!"

"Yeah, then prove it!"

Whilst Aaron didn't usually approve of your competitive nature towards each other, if it got you both a good math grade (and you were still sleeping, eating, etc), he wasn't going to complain. Jack had won in the end.

4.

"I would totally run a marathon faster than you."

"Bull. Shit." You responded.

"Language," Your dad called, looking over his shoulder.

"Prove it." Jack said. "Come on. Let's join dad in his next marathon. Whoever wins has to buy the other a comic."

"Deal." You both shake hands, Aaron hangs his head in defeat in the background.

You both train effortlessly. When marathon day rolls around, the entire team show up to support you both (and Aaron, but mostly you two). You're both shooting cheap insults at each other up until the start of the race. After the race, however, you're not as energetic - you do both manage the occasion 'idiot' to each other, but that's about it.

When the results are in, however, you're immediately full of energy - you had beaten him by a whole thirty seconds.

5.

"I bet I could take you in a fight," You said, turning to Jack. You were watching the BAU have a rare brush-up on their self-defence and since your dad was taking part, you had to come along and watch. Your dad didn't exactly feel like he could trust you home alone at the minute as the last time you and Jack were left alone, the house ended up in complete chaos from your baking competition (who could bake the most cookies before dad got back - that one was a tie as the kitchen caught on fire).

"Oh god..." Aaron mumbles to himself before he looks on the bright side, at least here he could make sure neither of you died - and it wasn't at school (again).

+ 1

"Dad's sad," You look up from your text book.

"What?"

"Dad's sad," Jack said, "He phoned me to let me know the team had just finished the case and were just boarding the jet and he sounded defeated. I don't think it went well."

You close the text book, biology could wait. "Okay, Operation 'Work together to make dad less stressed and also think of a shorter name' is a go!" You exclaimed. "Up first on the agenda: tidying. Quickly clean rooms and then living room? We can clean the kitchen last and then make dinner."

"My room's already clean," Jack said, rolling his eyes. "I'll start the living room while you deal with this," He motioned vaguely at the growing pile of clothes on your floor. You scoop them up, placing them in the laundry basket - they would go into the wash as soon as you finished cleaning your room.

It took about twenty minutes and then you're joining Jack in the living room, washing on. When that was done, you both made your way out, Jack into the kitchen and you to put the laundry into the dryer. The kitchen is cleaned in thirty minutes and you both begin to cook.

Admittedly, being only fifteen, you weren't the best chefs, but you tried your best. Besides, you may or may not have phoned Rossi for pasta advice (you both hoped he kept it a secret from your dad).

And so, by the time Aaron got home, dinner was nearly ready. You both greet him at the door and Aaron is immediately suspicious.

"What have you done?"

"Cooked dinner," Jack answered with a shrug.

"We phoned Uncle Dave for some pasta advice, don't worry," You added, "Jack said it sounded like the case was a bad one, so we pulled together to make things a bit easier for you tonight,"

"So you've not been suspended for wrestling in the halls again?"

"What? No," Jack laughed.

"Wrestling is so last year anyway, dad. It's all MMA fighting now,"

"Please don't joke about that," Aaron chuckled, "I don't think I could deal with that phone call."

[only-one-brain-cell]

-Pansexual Penelope Garcia

-Lesbian Emily Prentiss

-Bi romantic asexual Spencer Reid

Together they form the greatest (and gayest) tiro ever

[sirpotys]

Always taking care of your boy

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

EMILY: Spencer, why are you laying on the floor?

REID: Depression.

EMILY: Well shit, scoot over then.

[ivylouvre]

emily and spencer being 2nd and 3rd place is fitting actually

because penelope is definitely your local fan girl, spencer is just rebloging facts about rocks and emily is fighting god in the most obscure spaces

This is very important information to me

I couldn’t fit everyone SORRY 🙏

[rumplereids]

research purposes.

tags: spencer reid x reader. tech analyst!reader. mentions of 50 shades of grey. bau ladies are like gossiping wine moms. fluff & crack, bcos spencer has been thru enough already. referenced/mentioned sexual acts but nothing explicit. a/n: got inspired by aj cook implying mgg was reading 50 shades + the table read of cm where mgg’s name card was “matthew 50 shades of gray gubler” masterlist. requests are open !

The team is on the jet home from a consultation in San Francisco. Everybody’s either dozing off (Emily and Derek), eating (Rossi), or doing paperwork (Hotch, as usual). JJ is scrolling on her phone, catching up on the pictures and videos Will sent of Henry when she notices something very bizarre.

“Reid, are you reading 50 Shades of Grey?”

“Huh?” he looks up from the paragraph he was reading. Something about not making love and only fucking hard. Or whatever drivel he’s suffering for you.

“I didn’t peg you the type to be reading romance or erotica.”

“It’s for research.”

JJ quirks a brow Spencer doesn’t see. His eyes already returned to the book in his hands.

“Research? For Y/N?”

“Yep,” Spencer turns a page.

JJ continues to gape at him. She wants to press for more details, but with a shake of her head, decides she was better off not knowing the intricacies of the relationship of people she considers her siblings. No matter how baffled she is by the fact that Spencer Reid is reading 50 Shades of Grey, she doubts that she’d want to dip a toe in that rabbit hole. However, she has no qualms of bringing up this certain knowledge in the near future.

Spencer was in a rush to finish his case load for the day. It’s your day off, so he’s doing anything he can so that he can go home earlier than usual. With you out for the day, he can’t even pop into your office to bug you, talk your ear off, or have an impromptu make out session. It was so sad, really.

He’s down to his last three folders when Derek attempts to get his attention.

“Pst! Pretty boy,” Morgan whisper-yells.

“Yes?”

“How’s Y/N?”

Spencer’s a bit perplexed by the question. While it’s not unusual for Derek to worry about your well-being, he finds it a bit weird for Derek to be asking such a question at that exact moment. As far as he knows, you texted Derek 15 minutes ago about mold on the street that you insist looked like the aforementioned man. That was the last time Spencer talked to you as well.

“She’s fine. Enjoying her day off.”

There’s a big grin crawling across Derek’s face. Such a look on a man like Derek Morgan spelled trouble. He looks like he knows something that Spencer doesn’t. Spencer’s starting to get cautious.

“Anything exciting happened to you guys this weekend?” Derek asks with that shit-eating, I-know-something-you-don’t-know grin.

Spencer raises a brow.

“Not much. The usual,” Spencer flips a page in his file.

Morgan hums, “Ah, yes. The usual.”

Spencer looks up at Derek, perplexed. Having no idea what in the world Morgan is trying to get to.

“Late night?” Derek continues. Spencer shuts the folder in his hands.

“Are you trying to insinuate something?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

Spencer rolls his eyes and returns his attention to his work. Completely ignoring the chuckles coming from Morgan.

A few days later, Spencer is making his second cup of coffee at the office kitchenette, bracing himself for another round of paperwork when he hears somebody rush into the room. He turns from the counter to see you, flushed and embarrassed?

“Hey, darling—”

“Why did Penelope ask me how it’s like to have my own Christian Grey?”

“What?” Spencer puts his mug down to turn his full attention on you.

“She barged into my office, asking me what kind of BDSM we’re into!” you devolve into a sort of whisper-yell, eyes shifting as to check if there were other people around. The two of you were alone in the area.

“Why would she ask that?”

“I don’t know? Something about you researching BDSM for me?”

Spencer shuts his eyes in realization, “JJ.”

“JJ? What’s she got to do with this?”

“A week ago, on the jet home from San Francisco. I was reading 50 Shades of Grey.”

You take a pause, “You read 50 Shades? I thought you said it was complete nonsense?”

“My opinion hasn’t changed on that. But I overheard you and Garcia giggling over the movie’s actor… I wanted to see what it was all about.” He tries to be nonchalant with what he’s saying. You completely melt into a puddle.

“Oh, Spence. That is the cutest and sweetest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Spencer blushes red at the comment. All these years together, and you never fail to make him feel so lovestruck and bashful.

He clears a throat, “The BDSM in the book is so atrocious. Have you read it? Or are you only interested in the movie?”

“Just the movie,” you say with a grin.

“Their lack of communication is astounding. It’s completely far off from the BDSM we’re into.”

There’s a gasp behind you. You turn to see Garcia at the entryway of the kitchenette, one mug in hand, the other hand pressed against her chest.

“Oh , I knew it. Ya’ll nasty.”

“Penelope—” you start to speak. She cuts you off.

“I didn’t believe JJ at first when she said Spencer was reading 50 Shades for research. I mean, really, Spencer Reid and BDSM? Never thought to correlate those two things ever in my life,” Penelope rambles, and then mid-thought, she turns to you, “So you do have your own Christian Grey! That’s so sexy— I don’t think that’s the right word considering it’s Reid—” this earns a snort from the man watching amused, standing against the counter, “Have you recreated any scenes from the books?”

“Penelope!” you say, aghast.

“I mean, if Spencer’s using 50 Shades to spice up your sexy times then—”

Spencer begins to laugh. You turn to face him, in disbelief that he can laugh at your mortification.

“Trust me, Penelope,” he says, “we don’t need 50 Shades to spice up our sex lives.”

“Spencer!” You can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now. Penelope looks as if she’s hearing the greatest gossip scandal the world has ever produced.

“50 Shades is tame compared to us.”

“What?!” a third voice enters the conversation. Emily and JJ enter the kitchenette. Emily looked a bit confused, JJ looks just about ready to shit on you too.

You hide your face in your hands, trying to hide away from Spencer’s laughter. Emily, JJ, and Penelope start to bounce comments and choice words between the three of them. You hear words such as ‘unbelievable’, ‘kinky’, and the real kicker, ‘Dr. Reid will see you now’. You want to dig yourself into a hole.

Hands grip your hips, squeezing in silent comfort. Without removing your hands from your face, you mumble, “This is all your fault.” Spencer laughs once more, hands squeezing your hips one more time before he turns to pick up his coffee mug.

He moves to leave the kitchen, turning to you with a smug look on his face before he says, “Laters, baby.”

You refuse to acknowledge the three ladies descending on you like a pack of wolves.

taglist: @i-live-in-spite @khxna

[mysweetgelphie]

hotch, walking into the room and seeing the whole team is gone except prentiss: where's reid?

prentiss: doing stuff.

hotch: i don't like the sound of that. where's morgan?

prentiss: trying to stop reid from doing the stuff.

hotch: …and garcia?

prentiss: trying to stop morgan from stopping reid from doing the stuff! :)

hotch: …i see …and what are you doing here, prentiss?

prentiss: i’m supposed to stop you from stopping garcia from stopping morgan from stopping reid from doing the stuff. :)

hotch, going back to his office: i hate this family.

[pathologicalreid]

little duck | s.r.

in which Spencer is too excited about his first Halloween as a dad to remember he's supposed to be celebrating his birthday

margotober masterlist

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: jareau!reader, birthday party, halloween, dias des los muertos, roslyn talk, this IS my ffofa family but you don't need to read it to read this (just know that reader and jj have beef), mostly wholesome content, babies and having babies, the spencer reid dilf agenda! word count: 1.53k a/n: is this any good? not sure. it's definitely cute though.

Your eyes flickered around the kitchen, trying to spot a familiar mess of brown curls that you’d lost track of about an hour ago. “Hey,” You said to Penelope, putting an arm around her shoulders, “Have you seen my husband anywhere?”

The blonde shook her head, taking the opportunity to glance around the house to see if he was hiding in plain sight, “Haven’t seen him,” she shared a look with Emily, who shrugged, “Did you check outside?”

Shaking your head, you sighed while picking up some trash from the counter and setting it in the trash. “No, thanks though,” you flashed them a small smile before continuing your way around the house, he wasn’t in the office or the library either.

The house was decorated in a hybrid celebration of Spencer’s birthday and Halloween. Décor for the latter had started going up in September, but the fake spider that Spencer put in the guest bathroom still made your heart race. Balloons fluttered in the air while you strode past them, “Hey, there’s the lady of the house,” your head snapped up.

“Hi Dave,” you greeted Rossi with a hug, “How are you enjoying the party?”

He lifted his glass of punch up, “Other than the fact that I’m not sure how you got the punch to turn green, it’s a beautiful party. You’ve outdone yourself.”

Thanking him, you promised to come back and chat once you found Spencer, who was still missing. As for the punch, you were under strict orders not to tell anyone how the punch had turned green, but you knew that Spencer had used spinach as a natural food dye. Personally, you were avoiding the liquid like the plague.

Finally checking outside, the only thing you found was Matt’s older four chasing each other with glow sticks while their father watched on. Kristy was inside with Rosemary, who wasn’t quite old enough to chase her older siblings yet. You smiled at the thought that maybe next year she’d be able to join the big kids.

Henry and Michael were on the playset, the older of the two trying to impress his younger brother by crossing the monkey bars. You waved at Michael on the swing before closing the door behind you, turning around to continue your search in the house, jumping when you found someone behind you. “Oh,” you hung your head in shock, “You scared me.”

Your sister smiled at you, “Sorry, I saw you looked like you were searching for something, I wanted to see if you needed anything.”

JJ made your chest ache. Every time she offered to do something for you or surprised you with a gift, she continued to get into your good graces, but it just reminded you of your broken bond. Shaking your head, you looked around the living room, “I’m just looking for Spencer.”

Recognition flickered in her eyes, “He went upstairs with Amelia about ten minutes ago. I didn’t see him come down.”

You sighed in relief once you knew where your husband and baby were, “Thank you.” Making your way to the stairs, you turned and spoke up again, “And J, take some leftovers home! I really don’t need all of it.”

Hopefully, you could convince everyone to take at least something home. Throwing parties was a curse, there was always too much food. You made your way upstairs, checking the master bedroom before peeking your head into the nursery, finally finding Spencer.

He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Mila propped up in front of him, still learning how to stand unassisted. You leaned against the door frame, watching Spencer adjust her Halloween costume as she stared at him in wonder.

It was a tradition in your family for your mom to make the costume for Halloween, at least the first one, and Spencer was more than willing to adopt any tradition available to him, especially if it involved Halloween. You gave your mom free rein of the costume idea, so you shouldn’t have been surprised when she showed up before the party today with a baby duck costume in tow.

She was blowing raspberries at him while he brushed some feathers out of her face, “We’ll have to trim some of those, honey,” he spoke to her gently. He had refrained from putting the hood over her head, either because he didn’t want to ruin the tiny ponytail she had sticking up from her head or because he didn’t want her to get too warm, but she seemed more than content to be dressed in the bright yellow outfit.

You were thankful that she’d be comfortable in the costume because the rest of the week would be jam-packed. Tomorrow night was the FBI trunk or treat, then a Halloween party at Rossi’s, then actual Halloween, and then a Dia De Los Muertos party at Penelope’s to round off the week.

Honestly, you weren’t sure who was going to be more exhausted by the end of the week, you or Mila.

Eventually, you caught the gaze of your eight-month-old, who reached out and made grabby hands at you, exposing your location to Spencer, who turned his head to look at you, “Hey,” he said, still holding her upright even though his eyes weren’t on her.

“Hi,” you greeted back, unable to take your eyes off of the baby. More specifically, you were unable to take your eyes off of her costume.

You took a seat on the floor across from Spencer, who helped Mila off of her feet so that she could crawl to you, “Go see mama,” he urged her gently, watching as her tiny arms and legs carried her across the floor.

Once she reached you, she pushed herself up on your leg until you scooped her up, settling her in your lap and raising your eyebrows at him, “You know there’s a party going on downstairs.”

“I had noticed that, yes,” he answered, neatly folding the hood of Amelia’s costume and setting it in a pile.

Adjusting the bow on top of her head, you craned your head down and kissed the side of her head—she gurgled in response. “Did you know that they’re all here for you?”

Spencer smiled slightly, “I knew that too.”

Mila continued to babble while you looked at your husband curiously, “And yet,” you started, “You’re up here, putting her Halloween costume on while you should be at your birthday party.”

“I just wanted to see her in it,” he confessed, eyes flickering down at his daughter in her baby duck costume.

You had to admit, she was heart-achingly cute in the handmade costume. You were so happy when your mom brought up making the costume, not wanting to ask right out for it.

From the day she was born, Amelia was surrounded by family, you and Spencer made sure of it. She was cuddled up in the hospital with a blanket that Penelope crocheted. Even her nickname—Mila—had been granted to her by Derek’s daughter, who couldn’t quite swing the three-syllable name at the time.

There was a pit in your chest that was brought upon you by the symbolism of the costume, you often wondered what life would be like if your eldest sister was still around. You wondered what she’d think of your baby’s middle name—Rose—and if she’d think it was cool. “Hey, Spence?” You whispered, carefully standing up with Amelia in tow.

“Yes, my love?” He responded, following your lead and getting up off the floor, taking the baby from you, and changing her into pajamas.

You hummed behind him, taking the discarded costume and folding it up, placing it on top of the dresser until you needed it tomorrow. “Happy birthday,” you told him for the nth time today.

He smiled at you, resting Mila on his hip before he turned back to you, “Thank you.” Spencer leaned over and kissed you, the action receiving a coo from your daughter.

Laughing softly, you cupped her head tenderly, “It was a pretty good year, huh?”

Spencer pulled you into his side, you being held in one arm, and Mila in the other. “Yeah,” he murmured, “This one was definitely a favorite.”

Becoming a parent with Spencer was a dream come true, there was nothing you could think of that would top this year. Tilting your head back, you looked up at him, “So, what are you going to wish for this year?”

His gaze flittered down to the baby on his hip.

You shook your head immediately, “Pick something else,” you said, giggling at his silent suggestion. To you, it felt much too soon to think about another baby, and you knew Spencer was mostly joking. The two of you had previously decided on waiting.

Spencer sighed in response, looking between you and Mila, “More of this,” he answered, “The three of us, together.”

Raising your eyebrows, “Avoiding a party together.”

“As a family should,” he affirmed, beaming at you.

You were smiling so much that your cheeks ached, and you nodded your head in the direction of the door, “C’mon, there’s a cake downstairs with your name on it. Literally.”