#specifically bc idk the durge yet.

[kossithmercar]

there is two possible ways (and many more honestly) that the durge/person who wanted to kill(let's call them handler) them aesthetic could go. traditional dark/light dichotomies in which the durge is dark coded and the handler is light coded. inverse dark/light in which the durge is sun-coded because the sun can be blistering and all consuming and the handler is dark coded like a hero shrouded in darkness.

oh also, red and blue dynamic actually.

[morninkim]

pretty lady came to her in a dream and told her to eat worms

[vividiana]

AO3 tag game

thank you to the lovely @khywren for the tag 💖

how many works do you have on ao3? 7

what's your total ao3 word count? 83,785

what fandoms do you write for? bg3 is the one that got me interested in reading and writing fanfiction in the first place. since then, nothing has wormed its way into my brain quite that much

top five fics by kudos?

the blood on my hands (scares me to death)

what a wicked thing to do (to make me dream of you)

she's an undiscovered element (either born in hell or heaven-sent)

could barely tear my eyes away

the light we shut out

do you respond to comments? yes! every single one, they bring me so much joy 🥰

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? OOF. definitely the pre-canon one-shot about Astarion's worst memory. it's hurt/no comfort, so I think that's pretty self-explanatory

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I already have the ending scene of my post-canon longfic outlined and that certainly will be the happiest ending of them all, but I don't think that counts yet 😅 so I'd say the act 2 confession one-shot, I'm quite proud of that one in general but the ending is especially hopeful

do you get hate on fics? nope and idk how I'd react if I ever do

do you write smut? occasionally. the middle chapter of "the blood on my hands" is mainly smut and I quite like how it turned out. it took me AGES to write though, bc it was my first ever attempt at smut and I had to push past a lot of internalized shame around sex to get the words down on the page. I would love to write more though. I have three ideas for smut one-shots floating around in my brain that I'm very excited about

craziest crossover? I'm not really interested in crossovers

have you ever had a fic stolen? I mean, not to my knowledge? I wasn't aware that was something that happens tbh. not sure what someone has to gain from stealing a fic but maybe I'm just naive

have you ever had a fic translated? no. I've briefly considered translating them myself into Polish, which is my native language, but there's a reason I wrote them in English in the first place. unfortunately, in my case at least, being fluent in both doesn't mean being good at writing in both

have you ever co-written a fic? no, but I think that could be a lot of fun!

all time favorite ships? Astarion/Durge and Lae'zel/Shadowheart

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I only have one wip at the moment, which is my post-canon longfic, because I've procrastinated writing the next chapter by finishing everything else I had started 😅 I don't doubt that I will finish it, I just think it will take a very long time and I hope I don't lose motivation somewhere along the way

what are your writing strengths? I think my dialogue flows quite well and by now I've gotten Eve's, Astarion's, and Lae'zel's voices down (I'm still figuring out Shadowheart.) I also like the way I write internal monologues/introspection/the characters internally grappling with their feelings

what are your writing weaknesses? basically anything that's not dialogue or introspection—specifically descriptions and moments that involve more action (including smut.) the first attempt just always comes out as "she did A. he did B. she did C" and it takes me a lot of work to get it to a point where it doesn't feel repetitive

thoughts on dialogue in another language? I pepper in some Gith into Lae'zel's dialogue and I have a chapter planned where Astarion will teach Eve some basic Elvish—that's pretty much the extent of it. I like when authors find a way to incorporate other languages into their fics, but in mine it doesn't really play much of a role

first fandom you ever wrote in? bg3, first and only babeyyy

favorite fics you wrote? my absolute favorite is "what a wicked thing to do (to make me dream of you)", which is a one-shot set in act 2 with alternating POVs and lots of mutual pining, ending with Astarion's confession. it's my comfort fic tbh and I have reread it many times bc I am the target audience of my writing lol. the fic I'm most passionate about and that occupies the most space in my brain on a daily basis is "the light we shut out" which is my chill domestic post-canon longfic that vaguely follows some overarching plotlines, but mostly it's just me putting Eve and Astarion in ✨situations✨

no-pressure tagging: @nerdallwritey @funniestbitchinfaerun @xxnashiraxx @verbenaa @roguishcat @obsessedwhyyes (sorry for any repeats!)

[some-thrilling-heroics]

omg I don't think I sent you any ?s for the ask game??? what a dink i am. If you've already answered these, pick some ones you didn't get asked yet <3

🌊What moment in the game had the strongest emotional impact on you? 

💧Is there a ship you wouldn’t write yourself, but love reading?

🔥Is there an aspect of the game’s story that you think it could have done better?

heyyy! no worries!

🌊What moment in the game had the strongest emotional impact on you?

first time I reached the ansur plot and the fact that there's a dragon and we could make him our ally and then the backstory with the emperor - that hit me HARD. i loved it. it quite literally had me with my jaw open for majority of the thing

and then i got robbed. why is the game forcing me to kill the dragon? 😭 noo, i don't wanna!

💧Is there a ship you wouldn’t write yourself, but love reading?

hmmm🤔 maybe in a way anybody / astarion? bc I do enjoy him with tav / durge and some others but i don't really write him.

he is tricky for me to write. the most im gonna have in my current wip is have him sort of pine sort of long after tav but very lowkey? less abt romance and def not abt desire but very intense feelings of wanting.... approval is not the right word, idk how to explain it better. the one thing he and halsin share in my fics is feeling indebted to tav. i enjoy astarion still having that anxiety that if he's not useful tav will kick him to the curb and a vibe i got from one fic i read how they all are strays taken in by tav or durge. so that. whatever you make of that XD

ultimately tho, i love other charas that have a spoonful of fics dedicated to them specifically compared to the bathtub that astarion has, so i don't particularly care abt writing any astarion -centric fics

🔥Is there an aspect of the game’s story that you think it could have done better?

i mean. wyll and karlach. abso-fucking-lutely. granted i haven't reached the epilogue since it's been added 😩but their stories should have some proper conclusions WITHIN the game not off camera in the epilogue if you squint maybe. you know?

other than that i wish there was a way where friendship + high approval is treated more like partnered dynamic by the game. like, i have 98 approval and companion is highly open to my suggestions, but won't do x simply bc we haven't kissed / fucked. that's bullshit.

also idk maybe it's me and not being familiar with that type of games but i remember being frustrated the first time around that i fucked up the tiefling party romance offer and by the time i realized THAT was the trigger i was deep in act 2 or sth and i WANTED that romance 😩 i had to console myself awkwardly fucking the emperor. yay me.

thank you for asking these!! 💛

[gxldencity]

6 for the veilguard asks as well!

6. Do you have your Rook(s) planned out to any degree? If so, would you share some details or ideas you have?

I got way too attached to my main tav from BG3 that she's just going to be my main rook for DA4 and that automatically means that she comes with a backstory already, just adapting it to Dragon Age/Thedas

Her name is Dolores and she is the saddest girl in the world (again) 🥺. She's gonna be an elf(-blooded) mage. Here's how she looks like in the dd2 CC!

I wrote up her back story here and HERE for random thoughts comparing her rs with her brother in BG3 and dragon age but basically stopped before she got into tevinter and her backstory for That depends on what we get for the shadow dragons back story lol. The tl;dr is she's was a circle mage till the circles ceased to exist and bc she was 16 at the time, she basically followed her teacher where she went until her 11 year old brother's latent dreamer powers awakened and now she has no choice but to take him to tevinter and has been living there ever since lmao.

Other rooks planned:

Georgie - another BG3 expat, my evil durge but she's not evil this time! Idk about her yet in part bc so much of her backstory hinges on BG3 specific plot threads that cant be adapted in dragon age lmao. Except she's a rogue grey warden and was a chantry sister at some point lol.

Peep at her design in BG3

Unnamed mourn watcher warrior (idk the lineage lmao)- uhhh.....I loved the locked tomb so much that for emmrich romance I am bAsically trying to recreate the cavalier/necromancer romance with them. A himbo, not very bright but he likes swords.

Crow human rogue who's Dolores's cousin and whose the known gossiper of the Crows lmao. Knows every drama that's happening among the houses.

Kidlat - elf probably mage viel jumper, my OG da4 oc before I got attached to dolores lmao. They're an ethical blood mage (bc they use only animal blood 😤) but I gotta figure out what their spec is bc no blood mage

[aureliaen]

I definitely agree that he is a master manipulator, but it's not like he's the be-all and end-all of lying. Idk if you're interested in hearing a counterargument, but I'm gonna write one in case anyone at all finds it interesting.

In the case of the PCs, they come into the ceremony with the intention of treating him like an enemy. They don't trust him to begin with, and yet there's no passive insight/perception check that would signify deceit. I def have seen DMs omit those at times when the lie absolutely cannot be discovered, but that would be incosistent with the rest of the game, and it frankly makes no sense to give the player no in-game reason to doubt it, when everyone is expecting Gortash to lie.

But there's more to it than that. You get an insight check that, if passed, tells you he's being genuine, and the Emperor confirms all his words to Durge to be true. The Emperor pretty consistently tells you when you're being stupid with any decision, and it's a mind flayer vs a simple 18 CHA human. It's being very specific with its assessment too:

The scene you included is def very cool and one of my favorites too, but it seems to be bugged for you? That's his default response - he has a different one if you're playing as Durge.

I was curious, so I booted up my game and made sure lol. In a way, it proves the opposite point - he specifically does not coddle other potential allies (Tavs, origin characters, even Karlach who he otherwise pretends to like), just Durge.

vs all the letters scattered across the game written by Gortash about how he, and he alone, will ascend to Godhood? it’s The Golden Reign of Gortash, not the golden reign of durgetash.

I def thought those were interesting too, but I fail to see them as absolute proof - they're mostly not dated. For example, the Golden Reign of Gortash one was written after Durge's disappearance and before Gort found out they were alive. Anyway, they seem to parallel Durge's prayer of forgiveness, but they're unreliable one way or another. Characters can always change their minds based on the circumstances, betray their Gods, lie to themselves. In my opinion, this bit of dialogue is really helpful, bc it's actually meta:

Durge or no Durge, Gortash didn't lie about wanting to honor the alliance, but with Durge he specifically didn't lie about wanting them to rule by his side.

This here's personal interpretation, but it makes sense to me, seeing as Bane seems ultimately displeased with Gortash. Obviously he's no Fzoul so I'm not surprised he wasn't rewarded in death, but torture? Might be wrong though, it's just surprising to me if Gortash really was the perfect tyrant who successfully manipulated a child of Bhaal, no less. I'd have thought Bane would be more approving of that, since he loves dominating other gods too. But idk, no proof here.

Orin has a few lines about how “Gortash always knew how to bend your mind and keep you knotted in his cords” if you’re playing Durge, which could be interpreted as her trying to manipulate your lack of memory, or it could just. be the truth. that Gortash was constantly stringing durge along with heavy manipulation to further his own ends.

Or it could just be her genuine interpretation of what was happening, without trying to manipulate Durge or having anything to do with what actually happened between them and Gortash. Orin seems jealous and dismissive of Durge, claiming time and time again they're not worthy to be Bhaal's chosen. The journal in her room says she specifically wanted to punish Durge for being too closely allied with the other chosen. She clearly didn't like their influence on Durge, and this seems like a continuation of that.

That, and the "he did miss this" + "hesitation in his eye" lines. The first is a successful insight check, the other is just reality described by the narrator. He can't lie about those.

Bonus: found this line I haven't seen before when replaying the coronation just now. Shaking fr

hi, i saw your reply in the gortash sa post. i disagree with a lot of your takes, but i'm still curious about your reasoning. why do you think gortash might have or did lie about liking durge? there seems to be ample evidence to the contrary

my interpretation of Gortash is that of a master manipulator. every word, every gesture, is carefully considered before execution. he is always a step ahead. Orin has a few lines about how “Gortash always knew how to bend your mind and keep you knotted in his cords” if you’re playing Durge, which could be interpreted as her trying to manipulate your lack of memory, or it could just. be the truth. that Gortash was constantly stringing durge along with heavy manipulation to further his own ends.

also… what evidence? more things that come out of his lying mouth? vs all the letters scattered across the game written by Gortash about how he, and he alone, will ascend to Godhood? it’s The Golden Reign of Gortash, not the golden reign of durgetash.

there’s also this. one of my favourite gortash moments.

he is entirely willing to put durge under psionic torture (in front of their friends and a crowd of people, no less) just for disobedience. and this immediately after swearing to bring you no harm.

you can’t trust anything he says.