#speciality women's clinic

[swetaroy]

Woman's Wellness Hub: Your Speciality Woman's Clinic

Petals Speciality Woman's Clinic is a haven for women's health, providing specialized care with a compassionate touch. Tailored exclusively for women, our clinic addresses unique health needs with expertise and sensitivity. From routine check-ups to advanced treatments, Petals Speciality Woman's Clinic empowers women on their health journey.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Globally, it is estimated that 40% of all children aged 6–59 months, 37% of pregnant women and 30% of women 15–49 years of age are affected by anaemia.

There was a TikTok post about an advertisement for “blood-making pills for weak women” someone found in a newspaper from the 1890s and everybody seemed to think it was just an example of the weird misogyny of the day and age but no. Anemia was a massive public health concern. It always has been through history but part of the reason we have this idea of old timey women thought history being physical weak, chronically cold and pale and fainting is because they often they were. Anemia was also a massive problem for men in that day but even now it disproportionally affects people who menstruate. So tonics full of stimulants and “healthful vitamins” were marketed at young women in pages upon pages of advertisements in every newspaper. People generally felt like shit all the time back then.

[softzenia-tech]

Increasing the Quality of Care at Greater Noida's Best Superspecialty Hospital

The gynecologist in Greater Noida work at a prestigious medical facility with a staff of dedicated doctors who are all committed to providing the best healthcare services possible. With its state-of-the-art facilities, the hospital ensures that patients will receive the best medical care in a wide range of fields.

Becoming a leader in women's health

Women in Noida Extension highly rate the specialized medical facility as home to the best gynae in Noida Extension. These doctors and nurses are at the cutting edge of women's health care. The hospital cares about the well-being of women in more ways than just medical matters. They create a helpful environment where each person can shine.

Adding more innovative care in Noida

The institute is the best Multi speciality hospital in Noida Extension and offers a wide range of medical services to meet all of your needs. There are many specialized areas at the hospital, such as cardiology, neurology, orthopedics, and gastroenterology. This makes sure that people who live there can get the best medical care without having to drive a long way.

A Thought for a Happy Tomorrow

This super speciality hospital in Greater Noida wants to create a village where everyone can get medical care. With a extensive range of medical experts and the best gynecologists in Noida Extension, the hospital is a model of health and wellness, creating an atmosphere where everyone is treated with the respect they deserve. In conclusion, this tertiary speciality hospital is more than just a medical facility; it shows how committed the city is to making its people healthier and happier.

[consultingskeletondetective]

Colonel's Girl

You’re the young army nurse on base and König decides to keep a protective eye on you. You don’t mind at all, the Colonel is sweet and safe - until he isn’t.

masterlist 🩷 ao3

tags: military inaccuracies, blood and injury, angst, smut, oral sex, vaginal sex

This was your first time on a real military base. You’d done field medic training of course, but this was the first time in your career as an army nurse that you’d been shipped out to base, far from home, calling a tiny bunk room your own in a building full of rowdy young recruits. 

Their daily training brought them to you constantly with scrapes and bruises and concussions. They were feisty, adrenaline-fuelled young men, and you were one of the few women on base. The catcalling and the leering didn’t surprise you, even if it was unwelcome. 

“What time do you get off, darlin’?” Private Turner drawled in a cockney accent as you applied butterfly stitches to a bleeding split across his eyebrow. “Maybe I can come to your room and we can keep each other company-”

“Turner!” It was barked, a stern command from an accented voice. The private paled as Colonel König stomped into your clinic, and you blushed. König was a very imposing man. He was at least 6”9 by your reckoning, and just as broad, in his late 30s or early 40s with a thick Austrian accent. His years of military training had given him a thick, muscular frame, with his broad thighs barely contained in cargo trousers and steel-capped boots on his feet, a black tee stretched over his chest and biceps the size of your torso. You knew what he looked like under that hood, square jawed and piercing blue eyes, but today he’d kept it on, his eyes framed and dark. It was no surprise you blushed whenever you saw him.

“Colonel?” He stood and turned. His voice held none of its previous bravado. Next to König, he looked like a mere boy.

“Two weeks of toilet cleaning duty.” König said gruffly, “and if I catch you using that kind of language again, it will be a month. Understood?”

Turner slumped. “Yes, sir.”

“Get out of my sight.”

Turner, chastised, scampered out of your clinic without looking at you.

König turned his hulking form towards you and actually had to look down to greet you. 

“Pardon, ma’am. He won’t step out of line again.”

Ma’am . Your blush deepened. You gave him a small, nervous smile. 

“Thank you, Colonel, that’s very kind of you.”

“These boys don’t know yet how to respect a lady, but they will.”

“Once you’re done with them?” You smiled playfully.

“If I have done my job correctly.” He said kindly, before turning on his heel and leaving swiftly. You giggled. 

You didn’t see much of König at the start of training, his rank and his experience meant that he didn’t end up in your clinic as much as his recruits did, but when you did pass each other in the hall or by exchanging paperwork, he was nothing less than a courteous and charming gentleman. It seemed bizarre, considering you’d heard tell that he was a brawling killing machine out on the field, but he could switch from barking stiff orders to giving you a gentle smile that made you blush in the blink of an eye. You had to routinely remind yourself that this didn’t make you special, he was just being respectful, and you weren’t used to that. It didn’t matter that he was a soldier, or nearly twice your age, it didn’t take you long to develop a crush on the handsome and mysterious Austrian. 

A few days later and you were stood in line to the mess hall. It was breakfast, and you’d seen the black pudding in the warming trays as soon as you’d stepped in. You were practically salivating as you waited, it wasn’t often you got a creature comfort like this - something that reminded you of home - on base.

“Not often we get this kind of luxury, eh, miss?” You recognised the coarse accent before you turned. Lieutenant Riley had joined you in the line, a balaclava covering his face. You knew him a little, the infamous Ghost. You’d crossed paths with the 141 on occasion, and you knew Riley, sometimes even Captain Price, dropped into the base to provide training or engage your services. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to make polite conversation with you. In fact, it seemed the norm here. The high rankers felt a bit sorry for you, while the recruits made you feel like a piece of meat or an object of ridicule. 

You didn’t mind much, you were here to do a job, and you kept to yourself mostly anyway, but the offer of friendship was much appreciated. 

You smiled a little shyly in return. “I know, right? I hope the black pudding doesn’t go too quickly. I’ve been thinking about it all morning.”

“A girl after my own heart.” The lieutenant chuckled. In front of you, two privates who had been turning around to eavesdrop on the conversation - more to get a look at Ghost, than you, you understood - burst into laughing at your admission. Your ears turned red and you wished you’d never opened your mouth.

Riley didn’t seem to notice, he was holding his gloved hand out to König, who had somehow appeared next to him in the line since you’d looked away. You actually had to do a double take. For a near seven foot slab of muscle, he was stealthy when he wanted to be. 

The two of them talked among themselves in low voices and you left them to it, knowing you didn’t particularly want to hear the contents of whatever they needed to discuss.

You reached the front of the line and the private in front of you - the one who had laughed - piled his tray high with black pudding until the warming tray was empty. He turned and smirked mockingly at you.

“You can have my sausage, darlin’, if you ask nicely.” At least three recruits laughed. You wanted to shrink down so small you stopped existing altogether.

König’s brick hand clamped around the private’s tray and wrenched it easily from his grip.

“Sir-my breakfast…”

“Get out of the line, or I will feed you my fist.” König didn’t even raise his voice, the cold delivery had the private skulking off empty handed. König placed the tray back onto the counter and then he turned to you. 

“Help yourself, ma’am.” 

“Oh.” Your cheeks were crimson. He cocked his head, his eyes, the only part of his face visible through his black hood, looked amused. It wasn’t unkind. “T-thank you.” 

König tipped his hood towards you before turning his attention back to Riley, and the pair of them moved off to a separate table. You sat by yourself, chewing your black pudding, and smiling like an idiot. 

You glanced over to König a few times more than you would like to admit. He put you at ease, that’s what it came down to, it gave you a confidence you didn’t usually have around military men. 

It was that very ease that left you wholly unprepared for the following week.

It was ballistics training out on the grounds, and you caught wind of an accident halfway through your sandwich.

“Come quick!’ An officer skidded into your office, “there’s been an accident - potential fatality.”

You cursed, and gathered your supplies, before following him out of your clinic and out onto the training ground. Recruits stood nervously holding rifles, their half-shot targets abandoned. A young recruit was wailing on the ground, another kneeling beside him and pressing against his belly with a jacket, there was blood on the sand. 

König was towering over a young private - the same young man who had laughed at you in the mess hall, you briefly noted - and barking bloody murder in his terrified face. It took you more than a moment to realise that König wasn’t actually speaking German, you could just barely make a word out in his fury. 

It was easy to tune out, you’d been out in the field before, and turn your attention to your patient. You knelt beside the terrified looking private stemming the bleeding, and carefully lifted his jacket to look at his wound while the young man screamed.

“You’re going to be okay.” You said confidently, calmly. “It’s nothing we can’t stitch up. Private, keep putting pressure on the wound, just like this, you’re doing a good job.” Just this once, you were obeyed without question. 

“I will have you court-martialed, dummkopf, you could have killed him. You come onto my base, you do not listen to a word I say, and now you attack my men? You sorry piece of -”

“König,” you cut through the accented remonstration, pulling bandages from your bag, “I need your men to carry him to my clinic immediately, then you have to-”

König turned swiftly to you, those bright blue eyes visibly narrowed in the slits of his hood. “Do not fucking give me orders, nurse.” He seethed, voice ice cold with rage, fists clenched and towering over you. “You address me as Colonel, you little girl.” The white hot fury in his eyes matched the venom in his voice. You baulked, in fear, in surprise, horrified to realise tears were gathering in your eyes. You looked back down on the man in your arms and forced yourself to regain your composure.

“I need to get him to my clinic, I can’t lift him myself.” Your voice was steady, if muted, throwing your gaze over your shoulder at König and the recruits staring at you. “Please, colonel .”

König turned from you and began barking your orders at his men and within moments, your patient was being carried between three recruits back to your clinic. You turned and rushed after them. You extracted the bullet from his ribs and sewed up the damage as numbly as you treated any one of your patients. You left your makeshift surgery room with bloody hands and sweat on your forehead, surprised to find König leaning against the wall in your waiting room. He’d stripped out of his uniform to a simple pair of combat trousers and a black shirt that looked like it was losing a fight with his bicep muscles. His hood was held lax in his hand, giving you a rare glimpse at his face. It was no surprise to you that he looked exhausted. He pushed himself from the wall when you entered. Like a gentleman , you thought bitterly.

“Will he live?” He asked you, his voice soft. It was just like every other interaction you’d had on base. 

“It was a flesh wound. He’ll be fine, Colonel.” Your words were stiff, and you walked straight past him without even a glance, feeling like a complete idiot that you’d ever thought he might treat you with the slightest bit of respect. You were angry until the adrenaline wore off, then you cried in your bed.

The recruit, Jenkins, pulled through the night, and the next day he was airlifted to the nearest hospital. The accidental shooter was gone, and you didn’t care to ask what had happened. Training was halted for a few days as a result and you had a quiet week, but you weren’t complaining, as you now had a mountainous amount of paperwork to complete. You were grateful when you were able to file the heft of paper into your pigeon hole to be sent off, and rewarded yourself with a sit down in the breakroom to the main office.

You looked up on instinct more than anything when the door opened. König walked in, in combat boots and a military vest, his hood over his eyes and helmet strapped to his head, like he’d just come straight from deployment. He glanced at you with tired blue eyes, but all you could see was the fury in them when he’d scared you the week before. You felt stupid for thinking someone like König would ever be nice to you. You were just the idiot girl on base.

“Morning, ma’am.” He said pleasantly when he saw you, slipping one hand into his trouser pocket as he poured himself coffee from the pot on the table.

“Hey.” You replied, voice flat, suddenly finding your nails remarkably interesting.

“Is everything okay?”

“Fine.” Another one word answer. You still weren’t looking at him. 

König shifted uneasily. The atmosphere in the room changed. Of course it did, he was used to you being a blushy, smiling, pathetic mess for him. 

Concerned, König crossed the small space to you. He didn’t sit. From what you could see from your lowered head, his hand was no longer in his pocket.

“If this is about what happened…you did well, Jenkins will recover.”

“I know I did fine.” You genuinely didn’t mean to snap. “I don’t need you to tell me that.”

The conversation went dead, the atmosphere was palpable. You didn’t know whether it was his culture, or his military status, but König went right to the point.

“Have I offended you?”

Was he being willfully obstinate? You felt your humiliated aggravation grow. Well, you were in it now.

“Just leave me alone.”

There was a pause. And then another. Neither of you moved.

“As you wish.”

He left swiftly after that, and you finally looked up at the empty room. You felt relieved, but also hollow. It was almost like you’d done something wrong. But you hadn’t, had you? König’s coffee was abandoned on the table.

König left you alone, and that pissed you off even more. He walked past you in the mess hall, he didn’t glance down to smile at you anymore, he didn’t come into the clinic, even though you secretly hoped he would. Your self-esteem was pretty much on the floor after that, and the base got just that little bit lonelier.

Two recruits barrelled into your office a few days later, one had a busted lip and they both had black eyes. They'd clearly been in a fight, but whether that was with each other, or someone else, you didn’t care to ask. You stayed quiet as you applied butterfly stitches to their cuts, and they were happy enough to complain between themselves.

“You’re a dickhead, Williams, the Colonel’s gonna fucking kill us.” 

“Relax, he’s not going to know.”

“He’s been such a dick lately. He put Taylor on shit detail for a fortnight for having his shoelace untied.”

“Probably because he has to look at your fucking ugly mug every day.”

“You’re done.” You cut across. “You can go.”

They thanked you and left, and you were grateful to get the foul mouthed privates out of your office. 

It was getting dark outside and you were tired. You left your clinic and crossed the training ground to the mess hall. There were still soldiers out here, practising hand to hand combat under the floodlights. You gave them a wide berth.  

You didn’t see the abandoned dummy grenade wedged in the sand until your foot hooked around it and you vaulted over with an unladylike grunt. 

A large hand curled around your wrist and stilled you before you ate dirt. You cursed under your breath and turned inward. König was towering above you, your wrist positively dwarfed by his gloved hand. His hood obscured his face, shrouding him in the darkness behind him, all except those bright eyes looking down on you.

“You should be more careful.” He grunted, releasing your wrist.

Your eyes hit the ground and you mumbled a hasty ‘sorry’ before you scampered away to the mess hall. König watched your retreating back as you left.

The next few days passed uneventfully. You worked, you ate, you slept, you called home. The clinic was surprisingly empty. You wondered if the recruits were finally becoming competent enough that they didn’t need you every five seconds. You signed off your discharge sheets for the day and headed to the main office to dump them in the output box. You were surprised to find König in there, sans hood, rifling through a box of papers on the desk. He glanced up when he saw you and his expression wilted. He looked back into the box. 

“I’ll be out of your hair in a second.” He said. “I just need to find the instruction manual for the - s cheiße .” The papers in his hand fluttered to the ground. He bent down to retrieve them and winced, arm circling his broad torso. 

You frowned and took a step closer to him.

“What’s wrong?” You asked. 

“Nothing.” He replied instantly as he straightened. His movements were slower than usual. 

“It doesn’t look like nothing, König, it looks like cracked ribs.”

“It’s fine, really.”

You put your discharge forms on the desk and walked up to him. “Lift your shirt.”

König sighed but complied after a moment. He lifted his dark tee to his pectorals. His deep abdominal muscles rose and fell under his breathing and you found your cheeks reddening under the sight. A makeshift bandage was wrapped around his torso, and you reached out and lifted it. His skin was like lava against your fingers. He didn’t say a word as you lifted the bandage but he may have winced when your eyes widened. The right hand side of his ribcage was purple with deep bruising and lacerated with deep and shallow cuts alike, some were healing, and some were leaving blood stains on the inside of the bandage. 

“Oh my god, what happened?”

“Nothing.” König grunted. “Machine gun training. One of the recruits lost control of the barrel and clocked me in the ribs. It is just a scratch.”

“This cut needs stitches.” You said automatically, tracing the underside of the welt with your fingertip. König jolted and you took your hand away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“You didn’t.” He replied.

“I have cream that’ll reduce this bruising too-” König huffed and you looked up at him. You couldn’t quite decipher the expression on his face. He might as well have been wearing his hood.

“It is fine.” He said. “The bruising has disappeared a lot in the last few days…”

“ Days ?” You blinked. “Days, König? You can’t have been walking around like this for days. Why didn’t you come to me?”

There was a pause. He was trying to avoid your gaze.

“You told me to leave you alone.”

“König,” it was reprimanding, reproachful, your eyes slackened. “You always need to come to me when you’re hurt, even when I’m mad. I’m sorry.”

König’s eyes snapping to you made you regret the words as soon as they were out of your mouth. Your gaze dropped to the grazes on his ribs but your cheeks were already on fire. 

“Are you ever going to tell me why you are mad at me?”

You didn’t meet his gaze. It seemed pathetic now. “You yelled at me.”

König didn’t respond straight away. When he did - “I yelled at you?”

You fought off the sudden urge to say sorry.

“When Jenkins was shot.” You explained. “I’m not one of your soldiers. I don’t like being screamed at, especially when I’m doing my job.” Your voice dropped a little. “And I’m not a little girl, I’m a nurse. You should respect that, just like the way you tell your troops to.”

You glanced up at König, he looked crestfallen. “I…” He frowned a little, as if giving up on any explanation he planned to give. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You shook your head, embarrassed, and lowered his shirt.

“It’s not important now-”

“It is important. I don’t think you are a little girl. Sometimes in battle, things like this become heated. I do not even remember saying this to you, but I am sorry. I do not think that, I truly do not, I was…one of my men was dying, I was not myself. Please forgive me.”

Your eyes met. It felt like the first time you’d looked at each other in a long time. König’s blue eyes were soft and sad.

“Um, come to the clinic, this afternoon,” you rose, flustered, “I, uh, that cut needs looking at.”

You turned swiftly and left but not before you heard König utter a single ‘yes ma’am’ before you did. 

You thought about what he said as you sterilised your clinic for his arrival. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment, but you managed to keep your cool? Why didn’t he? Because he’s a soldier, you reminded yourself. He kills easily and without thought, he’s not the sweet gentleman you want him to be. You shook your head to yourself, that wasn’t the issue and you knew it. You didn’t care that he was a killer, or that sometimes he scared you. You knew what his easy dismissal of you meant - and it hurt.

König reported promptly to your clinic at 1pm that afternoon. He stripped out of his shirt and sat patiently down on the end of your bed and you had to pretend like having a 7ft goliath of a man stripped down in front of you wasn’t making your heart race. He truly was extraordinary. 

You stitched the large cut on his ribs that was worrying you the most and he didn’t make a sound. it didn’t much surprise you, you assumed he was accustomed to pain. It made your stomach flutter with something . 

He was even more impressive undressed, his body heavy with swollen, toned muscle, faded scars criss-crossing over his flesh. You had to remind yourself that you were a trained nurse just to stop yourself from drooling. 

König watched you work rather intently. “You have very small hands.” He remarked suddenly. You didn’t respond, unsure if it was a compliment or not. You both lapsed into silence for another long while. It was like a form of torture. You’d never been more embarrassed in your life. You felt like a foolish little girl, trying to play with a grizzly bear. It must have shown on your face. 

You didn’t expect König to talk again. He must have thought that you were insane - pathetic, at the very least. 

“May I ask you a question?”

Oh. “Of course.”

“Why did you join the military if you hate being yelled at?”

You sighed and finished off your final stitch. “You don’t have to mock me, you know, I already got the message.”

“I am not mocking you. I’m curious.”

Forthright . You forgot.

You took a moment to respond, busying yourself with packing away your equipment. “I didn’t join as a recruit, I joined as a nurse.” You didn’t tell him the real reason, that it was because it was him.

“Right.” 

“It’s not your problem.” 

König stood, and pulled his shirt back on. “It won't happen again.” He said. “You have my word.” 

Your gaze flicked to his handsome face involuntarily. “Um, here’s the cream. Make sure to apply it twice a day, and try to take it easy for a few days.”

König grunted, a ghost of a smile on his face. You could tell he hadn’t taken it easy a day in his life. 

“What message?” König asked suddenly. 

“Sorry?” You froze, trying to backtrack to that particular exchange.

“You said you ‘got the message’.” He repeated. “What message?”

Oh. 

“Um, did I say that?” Your voice was uncharacteristically high. König tilted his head.

“Schatz, my English isn’t that bad. We both heard what you said.”

You blushed and your head dipped. You didn’t know much German, but you knew what ‘schatz’ meant. 

“Well, you know-” fuck, shit, fuck . “P-put in your place by the guy you have a crush on. I get it. I got it. I won’t go there again.”

“Crush?” König responded like a lightning strike, before he fell silent. His brain was calculating, before his expression turned to…well, there was no other way to put it, absolutely fucking floored. “You like me?”

Oh, this was very fucking bad.

“Well…yeah? I thought it was obvious-”

“Obvious? Schatz, I thought you hated me.”

You blinked. 

“Wha- why would you think that?”

“You told me to leave you alone.”

“You called me a little girl! In front of everyone.”

When exactly had you both gotten so close to each other? It was close enough that König could look down on you, and your heart was skipping a beat.

“You can’t like me.” He said quietly.

You frowned. “Why not? Have you looked at yourself? Plus you’re…you know, nice, and the only person in this dump that doesn’t leer at me or treat me like a stupid little girl. When people aren’t dying, I mean.”

“I…” Was König hesitating? The man who had nothing to fear?

“It’s okay,” you murmured, embarrassed. “Like I said, I get the message. Why would you want a pathetic sap like me who can’t even hear a raised voice without crying?”

“Do not say that.” König looked uncertain, his eyebrows knitting together. “You are like a...a flower. Not meant for men like me.”

“A…” Your brain couldn’t quite compute what you’d just heard. “Men like you? What does that even mean?”

“You need someone younger, for a start.” He sighed. “Someone who has seen less death, verdammt, someone who has caused less death.”

“Men like your idiot recruits, then?”

König didn’t respond. 

“I have to go.” He said instead. “Thank you for the…cream.”

“Anytime, Colonel.” It was softly spoken, you watched him freeze, then you watched him go. You smuggled a bottle of wine back to your room and drank until you fell asleep. This really was a new low.

…

The days passed slowly and without incident. On the face of it, there was no difference in you, except for a notably lacklustre delivery of your care. 

You were making notes at your desk when Private Jackson and his buddy, Williams, appeared at your desk, complaining of a groin injury. 

You rolled your eyes and returned to your paperwork. “I’m sure it’ll feel better tomorrow, private.”

“I’m sure it’ll feel better right now if you kiss it-”

“Shut up,” Williams chuckled, shoving him, “you wanna get a disciplinary? You know she’s the colonel’s girl.”

Your gaze snapped up. “What did you just say?”

Neither of them answered you, they just sniggered and slunk off. You watched the empty doorway with wide eyes. You tried not to ponder on it. You pondered on it for the rest of the day.

…

You signed the bottom of Williams’ sick leave and ticked off the various appropriate boxes, flipping the page and hoping that was all that was required until you froze. It needed the signature of the patient's C.O. König. Shit. 

You hadn’t even seen König since he’d rejected you and every time you thought about that particular exchange, your ears went hot and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

You were too much of a pussy to talk to him, so instead you went to his office when you knew he was scheduled to be out at training, and scribbled ‘ sign me please :) ’ on a post it note, stuck it on the front page and left the form on his desk. 

You turned for the door with a relieved sigh and accidently walked into König’s solid chest. He was standing in the open doorway, he was the size of the open doorway, wearing his combat gear although he was unarmed, his hood draped covering his face, even so, you could see he was looking down on you. It wasn’t until you glanced up that you realised he was ducking to fit in the doorway. That sent heat right to your cunt.

“Oh, hello.” You said stupidly, eyes hitting the carpeted floor.

“Hello.” He greeted you, accent gentle. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, right, I’m in your office.” You stumbled over your words. “Um, W-Williams needs sick leave approved, he needs gallbladder surgery off base, I need you to sign the form. I - I left it on your desk.”

König walked past you, he smelt of sweat and sand and some sort of hastily applied deodorant. He seemed unfazed that you were in his office, he certainly didn’t seem to be trying to avoid you as ardently as you were avoiding him. You cursed yourself for being so childish.

He removed his hood and draped it over the back of his chair as he picked up the form. His eyes were darkened with war paint, fresh stubble on his jaw. 

“A smiling face.” He remarked as he read your post it note, voice muted. “The way yours used to be.”

You blinked. “Is that meant to be some kind of joke?” You asked hotly.

“Not at all.” He replied, not looking up from the form. “It used to brighten my days.” He signed the form and held it out to you before you could really process what he’d said. “Let us hope Williams makes a swift recovery, he is one of my best.”

You tentatively took the form, mind drawn back to the last encounter you’d had with the young private. 

“He called me…” You bit back your sentence before you had a chance to finish it. But the damage was done.

König’s back straightened, his fists clenched. “Something inappropriate?”

“No.” Your shoulders hunched. Why did you even bring it up? “He said I was…they’re calling me…you know…the colonel’s girl.”

You glanced up at König shyly, to see if there was any truth in it. His back had relaxed, but his stance was still guarded. 

“What?” You asked.

“I told the recruits to leave you alone.” He admitted. “Or there would be consequences.” 

“Oh.” You blushed. “But, that’s not a bad thing, is it?”

“No, it’s not…some of the men have interpreted the order to mean I am keeping you for myself.”

You took a bold step forward.

“And are you?”

König looked at the floor. You sighed and turned for the door.

König’s large hand curled around the front of your throat before you could turn and drew you back, right to his mouth. You whimpered into the kiss. You were forced onto your tiptoes to meet him, feeling his fingers against your oesophagus with every exhale. His lips eased wetly and insistently against yours until you were dizzy, gripping his arms and pressing yourself closer. 

As soon as it started, it was over. König released your throat and took a step back. You had to blink a few times to regain just a few of your senses. You were still on your tiptoes, and you could still taste him on your mouth. Gunpower, and mint.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I shouldn’t have done that.” His voice was ragged, his accent even thicker than usual. Fuck, it was hot.

He turned and left before you could even articulate a response, but you were sure you saw his back muscles twitching as he went.

…

The deployment for the first active mission came about quicker than anyone had been expecting. It was practically a dummy mission, you’d been told, leading a team of recruits on a sweep near cartel lands for stray activity or potential landmines. Still, the atmosphere was palpable in the base, the recruits were scared, you could tell.

You watched from the doorway of your clinic as the men stood by the jeeps, ready to roll out. Riley had returned, and he stood next to König as the latter zipped up his kevlar and clipped on his helmet over his hood. You wanted to wish him luck, even though you knew everything was going to be fine. It was a routine sweep, and he was König, he wasn’t in any danger. Still, your stomach pulled. Fate was cruel. What if this was the last time you ever saw him?

You scrunched your eyes shut, called yourself an idiot, and jogged across the sand of the training field.

Riley saw you first, he knocked König on the chest to alert him - you tried not to read into that - König turned, face obscured, body heavy with kevlar and weaponry. He had to lower his head to look at you.

“Schatz?” 

Your insides ached at the familiar term of endearment that you didn’t deserve. Your mouth was as dry as the sand you were stood on, and you suddenly didn’t know what to say. Don’t go? Come back? How could you say any of those things to the man who didn’t want you.

König solved your problem for you. His fingers closed around your tricep, and his thumb stroked just once.

“Look after yourself.” You said quietly.

He nodded before he dropped your arm. Then you watched as they got into the jeeps and drove away.

…

The recruits were returned to you on a daily basis. Apparently, the drop point of the sweep was particularly hot for cartel soldiers, ready and willing to engage in battle. The wounds you were treating now were not the cuts and scrapes of training, it was cracked skulls and broken bones and lacerated flesh. And the men, Turner, Williams, Jackson, they weren’t the scrappy, joking lads they’d once been, they were crying and they were scared. 

You slept when you could but you were always exhausted. You were waiting for the first time one of them died on you. 

You were awoken that night by a loud, insistent banging on your door. You jumped out of bed and tied your robe around yourself, already gathering your hair up to tie it back.

“What’s happened?” You called, opening the door, “who is it…oh.”

It took a moment for you to realise that you weren’t staring at the pitch black of night, but rather directly at König’s chest. He stood in a dark shirt, helmet removed, hood covering his face, head disappearing behind your doorway, but his blue eyes were bright and wild and looking down at you.

“König! You scared me half to death. Get in here.”

You stood aside and König ducked his head and walked, actually stomped, his way into your room. You prayed you didn’t have any stray underwear on the floor. His shirt sleeves were short and you could actually see his arm muscles thrumming. 

“What’s happened?” You frowned. “What’s wrong, König? Talk to me, please.”

“There was an I.E.D.” He replied, accent thick. You couldn’t imagine what his expression looked like. “Ghost saw it before I did. He pulled me out of the pathway. The fucking thing exploded five feet in front of my face. I could have died. I am a fucking idiot.”

“Oh, König, you…you didn’t die, and you’re not an idiot, okay? Every soldier misses…”

“No, schatz.” He walked forward, backing you against the wall. You swallowed when his large hand came up, pressing your collarbone back against the wall. “I’m a fucking idiot because I could have died without doing this.”

One hand curled around your hip and lifted you effortlessly, and you gasped as you had no choice but to wrap your legs around his waist - it was a stretch, he was so broad. König wasted no time slamming you into the wall next to your bed with enough force to rattle your bones. You squeaked, but that was all you managed to do. He pushed his hood up to his nose and captured your lips with his.

Your eyes crossed and closed as you groaned, wrapping your arms around his neck as your lips slid against his. This was nothing like the first kiss - that was chaste, hurried, this was luxurious, long, wet and slow, the whole world went quiet as König pressed his tongue between your lips and lapped at yours with sure strokes that had you whimpering. Your fingers tangled in his hood as he kissed you like that, and you forgot everything else. 

He hitched your legs around his waist and you whined, muffled, as you felt a solid lump pressing up against your clothed crotch. You didn’t care – you ground down on him as you met his tongue with yours. He growled into your mouth and it reverberated through you, before he was pulling back, kissing along your jaw and grinding his cock against your heat harder than before. 

Then his eyes were on you, piercing and bright through the dark hood, the fabric sat askew on his top lip, his lips pink and swollen with your spit.

“I want you, schatz.” He said bluntly. 

“I - I want you, too.”

Your consent was all he needed. Suddenly you were airborne again, and you clung onto him as he lowered you onto the belt and knelt between your legs. The bed actually dipped under his weight and you blushed.

“K-König,” you murmured quietly.

“No,” it was short, and stiff, as he yanked your night shirt down by your collar hard enough to rip. You yelped as the sound of fabric tearing filled the room and suddenly your tits were exposed. You whimpered in embarrassment but he’d already grabbed them in his rough, gloved hands, squeezing and rubbing, flicking and pinching your nipples between his fingers.

“Hhhh, fuck.” You blushed, biting your lip as your underwear moistened at the rough treatment.

“Fuck, do not tell me they are sensitive.” König’s voice sounded wrecked.

“Please,” it was a whisper, “please be gentle.”

“Wanted to get my hands on you for too long.” Was all his reply was as he squeezed your breast again and leant down, using his hand to guide your nipple into his exposed mouth. He sucked so hard that you thought he was trying to drink your soul out from you. Your head fell back and you gasped, grinding your wet, needy cunt as best you could on the side of his thigh. König took pity on you, lapping at your nipples until they were shining nubs screaming in oversensitivity, while his brick hand - when had he taken his glove off? - cupped your pussy through your underwear. His thumb was jammed right up against your clit. You didn’t know if he’d meant to do that, or if it was coincidental, but either way you ground up onto the solid digit until your eyes were unfocused.

“So wet for me, liebling,” he murmured breathlessly, between your nipples, “you are fucking soaked for me.” He stroked you with his thumb once and your eyes slackened and you came with a shudder, stiffening beneath him as stars danced above your head.

He let your nipple slide wetly from his mouth and suddenly those bright eyes were on you.

“Did you just have an orgasm?”

“Mmm.” You buried your head into his neck shyly, thighs shuddering as the waves of pleasure rolled through you. Your clit twitched against his hand. 

“Oh, sweet liebling.” He murmured, rubbing wet circles over the sodden fabric of your underwear. You shuddered as your thighs tried to close away from the intense pleasure, until one strong hand was on your thigh and pushing it wide.

“König!” You gasped. He was watching you intently as he pushed your underwear to the side with his fingers and pressed the thick digits through your sopping folds. 

“Such a pretty little cunt.” He murmured, stroking his fingertips over your slit. It opened with every heavy breath you took, dribbles of desire wetting his fingers.

“König, please,” you whined, “need you in me. Please -”

“Oh yes? Is that so?” The side of his mouth twitched up, then his finger was sinking inside you.

“Shit, fuck! K-König, you’re so big…” You felt your cunt stretching around his finger, clenching involuntarily down around it as your thighs tried to close but couldn’t, pinned open by his solid hand.

“I know, schatz.” He replied calmly. “You can take it.” He slid a second finger in without warning and grunted at how tight and wet you were, just imagining how your cunt would feel around his cock. You whined and threw your head back, the stretch aching after months of nothing, thighs shaking. You were so fucking wet that his fingers practically glided in, his knuckles against your soft pink entrance. “I want you to come for me, to loosen you up for my cock.”

“König, fuck, I…” Your cheeks were rosy. “My god, please...please move, I need-”

“Shhh, little one, I know.” He wasted no time shoving his fingers deeper in your aching cunt, and you yelped and lifted off of the bed entirely. König growled in disapproval and used the hand on your thigh to pin you down to the bed, keeping you still as he ploughed his fingers in and out of you. You moaned deliriously at the sudden intense, rough pressure to your sweet spot, watching the way König’s large hand was like a blur between your legs.

“I’m-” You couldn’t even say it before you were coming with a wet moan, your release splashing against his wrist and dripping all over the bed.

“Scheiße, liebling, making such a mess for me.” His fingers were still hard and circling your engorged sweet spot. Your body seized in panic as you gripped his wrist with all your might to try and still him. All you achieved was watching your own arms shake as he fingered you mercilessly. The noise was obscene, soaking wet come and slick filthy between your legs and soaking his hand as you squirted again, streaming down his arm with a mix of clear and white desire. You moaned and gasped and sobbed, the pleasure intense and spiralling, your pussy already felt worn out from the rough treatment.

“König, please,” you begged, “it’s too much-”

“Again.” He commanded, hand leaving your thigh and curling around your throat. “Want all of that squirt out of you.” he pinned you to the bed by your neck, using the change in position to drive his fingers roughly home deep in your aching, spent cunt. He didn’t stop when you came, and he didn’t stop when you came again - your eyes in the back of your head, body on fire with ceaseless pleasure, the bed beneath you soaked with your own humiliation. All you could do was take it, and shudder violently. 

Finally, König pulled his fingers from your gaping hole and slapped your cheek lightly, it was a wet noise and you blinked.

“Come on, little girl, do not give up on me.”

“König,” you slurred, heaving. “I…fuck, so good, never…I can’t…”

“Oh sweet one,” he cooed, crowding between your legs, pulling your thighs over his hips. “Fucked you stupid and I haven’t even put my cock in you yet.”

You managed a tired smile as you traced your fingers down the front of his stab vest. You watched him drag the zip of his trousers down, rubbing just the once over the lump there before dipping in and pulling his cock free. It took him three tries - to extract the full, erect length of himself from the tight compression of his protective cup, before he was letting it hang heavy between his legs. 

“Fuck, König- you’re so big.”

“I know, baby,” he stroked the length of his long, engorged cock from length to tip and your eyes widened, cunt throbbing between your legs in your desperation to feel it deep in you. 

“König, please,” you begged, digging your heels into the small of his back, your wet cunt pressed up against his balls, inviting, begging him in, “my pussy - please -”

He chuckled before pressing the head of his foreboding cock against your clit and you trembled and cursed. He lent over you, hand squeezing your breast, the ends of his dark hood tickling your neck as you felt the hot, solid crown of his cock pressing against your entrance. Your eyes were wide, nervous, feeling the pressure, the give, then the hot length sliding home inside of you.

You gasped and arched, clenching around him and his biceps shook where he held you.

“Fuck, schatz, fuck, not so hard, you will make me come.”

“C-can’t help it.” It was a whine, rolling your hips and digging your heels in harder, trying to pull him deeper. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He panted, regaining some of his composure and locking his hand around your neck once more. His hips began to piston and you weren’t prepared for it, the shift of his massive cock in your tight walls making you moan and clench and writhe. Your cunt was obscenely wet, and every noise was a squelch that made you blush, until he was pounding into your sweet spot and you forgot everything.

“Fuck, König, fuck-” it was breathless, eyelids fluttering as you clenched and groaned and sprayed his cock, his balls, with your release. “I can’t - can’t stop, fuck,”

“Guh, fuck.” He grunted, lips ghosting over yours. His cock not slowing, pounding you like he was trying to nail the mattress beneath you. “So tight, liebling, your pussy is drawing me in. I’ve waited so long for this.”

You couldn’t ask him to explain, you were too busy coming, your world zeroed down to the tip of König’s dick abusing your swollen sweet spot. He curled his fingers under your knee and held your thigh up by your collarbone, exposing more of your vulnerable cunt to him as he thrust hard into your aching walls. 

Your moans were broken and never ending, blushing and squirming in delirious agony as you gushed and creamed on his cock, feeling your hot release on the backs of your thighs.

“Look at you,” König didn’t even have the decency to sound exerted as he took you apart. “You can’t stop coming, can you, schatz?”

“No.” There were tears in your eyes, your fingernails digging into his arms, holding on for dear life. “You need, please -” Your mouth fell open as you came again, the splash of your squirt explosive and filthy, “you need to come, please, I can’t, can’t come again, please, König, please.”

König framed your jaw with his hand, stroking along the bone as he slammed his hips into yours, forcing more of your come straight from you with a grunt.

“Nearly there, schatz.” He said into your mouth. “Just a little bit longer.”

“Fuck, please,” your walls clenched and contracted again, vaulted over the edge and nearly losing consciousness, clenching your fucked out cunt tight if only to help him get there. “Please, come, come in me, fuck.”

“Scheiße,” he groaned, cock jamming in your tight cunt as you came so hard you nearly pushed him out. He shoved his way back in and you wailed. “You want me to come inside? I’m not wearing…”

“König, please,” it was pathetic, and he couldn’t deny you, watching your sobbing eyes with his piercing blues as he slammed into your weeping cunt for a few more torturous minutes, then his forehead was pressed to yours and he groaned as he spilled inside you. He was so deep you couldn’t feel it, but you could feel his cock twitching, and you could feel yourself clenching and coming so hard you forced dribbles of his white come straight back out of your slit and dribbling down between your cheeks. 

König was breathing heavily against you as he held himself, forehead against yours, body framing yours, and you watched him as you shuddered and tried in vain to relax. He was…there were no words for it.

You let your hands trail down his clothed back, feeling the solid and bunching muscles there, feeling his cock heavy in your squirting pussy and wondering how the hell this had happened.

“König,” you had a warm, dizzying smile on your face. “You came back.”

He nodded mutedly, face partially obscured by his hood, as he stroked along your jaw, then your lips, and let his hulking body fall and rest beside yours. “Thought you might not want me.”

You shook your head, curling into his chest the best you could. He was still inside you.

“Want you, always. Don’t-'' He'd already curled his bear arms around you, drawing you into his warm chest and cutting you off. You were suddenly so overhot you couldn’t remember what you were going to say.

“I’m sorry I upset you, liebling,” he stroked along your back, his blue eyes slack. “I have always wanted you to be mine. From the moment I saw you.”

This felt like a fever dream. It couldn’t possibly be real. You couldn’t possibly be this happy.

“I’ve always been yours, König, I still am. If you still want me.”

He tilted his head as he watched you, lips pulling up, and you blushed.

“What?” You asked.

“You,” he said simply, voice warm like honey, “are smiling again.”

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

she died from wiping too hard after pooping too hard

Art by Hannah Alexander

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Year - 2023 Edition

Welcome to our special edition newsletter recapping the best news from the past year. I've picked one highlight from each month to give you a snapshot of 2023. No frills, just straightforward news that mattered. Let's relive the good stuff that made our year shine.

January - London: Girl with incurable cancer recovers after pioneering treatment

A girl’s incurable cancer has been cleared from her body after what scientists have described as the most sophisticated cell engineering to date.

2. February - Utah legislature unanimously passes ban on LGBTQ conversion therapy

The Utah State Legislature has unanimously approved a bill that enshrines into law a ban on LGBTQ conversion therapy.

3. March - First vaccine for honeybees could save billions

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) has approved the world’s first-ever vaccine intended to address the global decline of honeybees. It will help protect honeybees from American foulbrood, a contagious bacterial disease which can destroy entire colonies.

4. April - Fungi discovered that can eat plastic in just 140 days

Australian scientists have successfully used backyard mould to break down one of the world's most stubborn plastics — a discovery they hope could ease the burden of the global recycling crisis within years. 

5. May - Ocean Cleanup removes 200,000th kilogram of plastic from the Pacific Ocean

The Dutch offshore restoration project, Ocean Cleanup, says it has reached a milestone. The organization's plastic catching efforts have now fished more than 200,000 kilograms of plastic out of the Pacific Ocean, Ocean Cleanup said on Twitter.

6. June - U.S. judge blocks Florida ban on care for trans minors in narrow ruling, says ‘gender identity is real’

A federal judge temporarily blocked portions of a new Florida law that bans transgender minors from receiving puberty blockers, ruling Tuesday that the state has no rational basis for denying patients treatment.

7. July - World’s largest Phosphate deposit discovered in Norway

A massive underground deposit of high-grade phosphate rock in Norway, pitched as the world’s largest, is big enough to satisfy world demand for fertilisers, solar panels and electric car batteries over the next 50 years, according to the company exploiting the resource.

8. August - Successful room temperature ambient-pressure magnetic levitation of LK-99

If the claim by Sukbae Lee and Ji-Hoon Kim of South Korea’s Quantum Energy Research Centre holds up, the material could usher in all sorts of technological marvels, such as levitating vehicles and perfectly efficient electrical grids.

9. September - World’s 1st drug to regrow teeth enters clinical trials

The ability to regrow your own teeth could be just around the corner. A team of scientists, led by a Japanese pharmaceutical startup, are getting set to start human trials on a new drug that has successfully grown new teeth in animal test subjects.

10. October - Nobel Prize goes to scientists behind mRNA Covid vaccines

The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine has been awarded to a pair of scientists who developed the technology that led to the mRNA Covid vaccines. Professors Katalin Kariko and Drew Weissman will share the prize.

11. November - No cases of cancer caused by HPV in Norwegian 25-year olds, the first cohort to be mass vaccinated for HPV.

Last year there were zero cases of cervical cancer in the group that was vaccinated in 2009 against the HPV virus, which can cause the cancer in women.

12. December - President Biden announces he’s pardoning all convictions of federal marijuana possession

President Joe Biden announced Friday he's issuing a federal pardon to every American who has used marijuana in the past, including those who were never arrested or prosecuted.

------

And there you have it – a year's worth of uplifting news! I hope these positive stories brought a bit of joy to your inbox. As I wrap up this special edition, I want to thank all my supporters!

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

[gaytravelinfo]

Walk In GYN Care - Women Empowered

Our Mission Walk In GYN Care recognizes the disempowering moment when you need your OBGYN now, but the earliest appointment is in 6 weeks. So, we changed the narrative by creating a space where you can get the best care when you need it the most! Our beautiful offices and stellar team is equipped to diagnose and treat most GYN issues in a one stop setting, so spending hours in the ER or waiting…

[slyandthefamilybook]

since we now know that all those "my blog is safe for Jewish people" posts are bullshit, here are some Jewish organizations you can donate to if you actually want to prove you support Jews. put up or shut up

FIGHTING HUNGER

Masbia - Kosher soup kitchens in New York

MAZON - Practices and promotes a multifaceted approach to hunger relief, recognizing the importance of responding to hungry peoples' immediate need for nutrition and sustenance while also working to advance long-term solutions

Tomchei Shabbos - Provides food and other supplies so that poor Jews can celebrate the Sabbath and the Jewish holidays

FINANCIAL AID

Ahavas Yisrael - Providing aid for low-income Jews in Baltimore

Hebrew Free Loan Society - Provides interest-free loans to low-income Jews in New York and more

GLOBAL AID

American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee - Offers aid to Jewish populations in Central and Eastern Europe as well as in the Middle East through a network of social and community assistance programs. In addition, the JDC contributes millions of dollars in disaster relief and development assistance to non-Jewish communities

American Jewish World Service - Fighting poverty and advancing human rights around the world

Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society - Providing aid to immigrants and refugees around the world

Jewish World Watch - Dedicated to fighting genocides around the world

MEDICAL AID

Sharsheret - Support for cancer patients, especially breast cancer

SOCIAL SERVICES

The Aleph Institute - Provides support and supplies for Jews in prison and their families, and helps Jewish convicts reintegrate into society

Bet Tzedek - Free legal services in LA

Bikur Cholim - Providing support including kosher food for Jews who have been hospitalized in the US, Australia, Canada, Brazil, and Israel

Blue Card Fund - Critical aid for holocaust survivors

Chai Lifeline - An org that's very close to my heart. They help families with members with disabilities in Baltimore

Chana - Support network for Jews in Baltimore facing domestic violence, sexual abuse, and elder abuse

Community Alliance for Jewish-Affiliated Cemetaries - Care of abandoned and at-risk Jewish cemetaries

Crown Heights Central Jewish Community Council - Provides services to community residents including assistance to the elderly, housing, employment and job training, youth services, and a food bank

Hands On Tzedakah - Supports essential safety-net programs addressing hunger, poverty, health care and disaster relief, as well as scholarship support to students in need

Hebrew Free Burial Association

Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services - Programs include early childhood and learning, children and adolescent services, mental health outpatient clinics for teenagers, people living with developmental disabilities, adults living with mental illness, domestic violence and preventive services, housing, Jewish community services, counseling, volunteering, and professional and leadership development

Jewish Caring Network - Providing aid for families facing serious illnesses

Jewish Family Service - Food security, housing stability, mental health counseling, aging care, employment support, refugee resettlement, chaplaincy, and disability services

Jewish Relief Agency - Serving low-income families in Philadelphia

Jewish Social Services Agency - Supporting people’s mental health, helping people with disabilities find meaningful jobs, caring for older adults so they can safely age at home, and offering dignity and comfort to hospice patients

Jewish Women's Foundation Metropolitan Chicago - Aiding Jewish women in Chicago

Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty - Crisis intervention and family violence services, housing development funds, food programs, career services, and home services

Misaskim - Jewish death and burial services

Our Place - Mentoring troubled Jewish adolescents and to bring awareness of substance abuse to teens and children

Tiferes Golda - Special education for Jewish girls in Baltimore

Yachad - Support for Jews with disabilities

[recoord]

Staying neutral until Neil Gaiman is convicted by the courts?

Second attempt to express my thoughts on the matter. The first time, my wording was not the best and it needed to be fact checked so here there is a summarized attempt. Thank you to everyone who pointed it out.

Using "neutrality" to remain sceptical to the allegations is not as good as an idea as it seems.

Many have shown scepticism because of the medium, The Tortoise podcast, used to publish most of the accusations. I've found many don't know there's a second podcast that published one of the women's allegations: Am I Broken: Survivor Stories Podcast. A podcast made by a non-binary licensed clinical mental health counselor specializing in sexual trauma. The link for the podcast is here and the link for the transcript here. [Credits for the transcript to Ersatz Haderach].

Personally, I think you shouldn't discard the allegations just for the medium chosen, they're still valid. But, there’s a second podcast and Claire's allegations there help to amplify the other victims's voices. If you haven't read or listened to any of the allegations, that could be a good start.

Ignoring that information and testimonies exist is far from being neutral. Learn about the allegations before choosing "neutrality".

It's important to notice that in cases like the ones exposed by the women's allegations against Gaiman, "Neutrality" is already biased in favor of the accused.

Waiting for a formal sentence for Gaiman to start believing in the victims is choosing to blindly trust a corrupt system. It also sounds like if you weren't conscious enough of the many problems that rape victims face in the justice system.

I've found an interesting report on the matter with information about how justice fails victims . Here are some important points:

Why the legal justice fails rape survivors?

According to a report made by Centre for Women’s Justice, the End Violence Against Women Coalition, Imkaan and Rape Crisis England & Wales.(2020):

Obstacles to conviction

- "In the vast majority of (adult) rape cases, the defendant will accept that sexual intercourse took place, and it is only the element of ‘consent’ that is in dispute, or – put another way – whether a reasonable person would characterise what happened as consensual or non-consensual."

"Given the sexual nature of the offence, it will often take place in private, the complainant and defendant (or defendants) being the only persons present."

"There are very rarely any eye-witnesses to the offence itself, able to corroborate either the complainant or the defendant’s account as to what has unfolded. Indeed, there will more often be no independent evidence at all which corroborates the complainant’s account as to the circumstances of the sexual encounter. At best, there may be circumstantial evidence which supports what the complainant is saying: evidence which, for example, provides a picture of the complainant’s physical or mental state before and/or after the attack; or there may be evidence which is broadly supportive of her credibility, or undermines the suspect’s credibility."

- Even in ‘better’ periods, rape cases have always posed very significant challenges for prosecutors. While volumes of convictions have fluctuated over the years, the rate of convictions for rape has invariably been lower than in most other areas of crime."

-“it has been widely accepted by criminal justice bodies that many members of the public continue to believe in long-standing ‘myths and stereotypes’ relating to rape, which do not correspond with reality, result in disbelief of victims/survivors, and are now outdated in the eyes of the law.”

- “When a victim/survivor’s credibility is considered so fundamental to winning a rape or serious sexual offences trial, those who do not fit the ‘mould’ of a credible victim – because of their age, their outward presentation, their social skills, a disadvantaged background, or a learning mental health disability – are the least likely to see justice served.”

- “Whenever the profile of rape victims/survivors and their poor treatment by the criminal justice system begins to receive the attention it deserves, there comes a backlash and a rise in public concern regarding the fate of the ‘falsely’ accused.”

I recommend reading the whole report for further information.

Don't choose "neutrality" as an excuse to hide your bias, listen to the victims. There is a lot of information out there. Many patterns are repeated among victims who, before the allegations were made public, thought they were the only person who experienced the same thing, with Gaiman as the common denominator.

If you want to add something, feel free to do it.

[swetaroy]

Nurturing Health and Wellness at the Women's Specialty Center

Petals is your go-to Women's Specialty Center, dedicated to providing top-notch care specifically for women. Our center combines compassion and knowledge to offer a variety of specialized services. For all-inclusive women's health solutions that encourage energy and wellness, rely on Petals.

[purplereina11]

Based on this request

Warnings: Smut

Your classic enemies to lovers

Chelseas number 1 goalkeeper breaks the highest transfer fee to join Barcelona where she becomes teammates with Aitana Bonmati who had nothing nice to say in there last champions league meeting

______________________________________________________________

You were stood in the tunnel at Stamford Bridge the who’s who of women’s football around you, to your left Barcelona Captain Alexia Putellas, fully focused on the task in hand to name one of many. Champions League nights were special. You heard every player say the same that was lucky enough to get to play Champions League football. It was the one trophy that left an empty space in your trophy cabinet. It was a hole you looked at every time you were home every year when it slipped through your finger tips the desire to win it grew more and more.

“Y/N” You looked over your shoulder at your goalkeeper coach calling your name, he held up a towel and you shook your head you already had one in hand. Your eyes wandered along the Barcelona line up trying to remember all the studying you’d been doing for yet another meeting with the European Giants, both teams dominate in there respective leagues, they’d won the champions league however. Something Chelsea had yet to achieve.

Your eyes found a pair staring right at you, multi decorated Midfielder Aitana Bonmati, your face stayed stoic as she attempted to stare you out, “I score past you tonight” she mouthed, you got a shit eating grin at the comment before turning your head back where Millie Bright seeing the interaction gave you a stiff nod

“We’ll see” you muttered to yourself, your pride wouldn’t allow her to score past you now after the arrogance was projected towards you, you were billed as the worlds best goalkeeper your ego couldn’t allow it, two greats in there position in the sport, you had to come out on top.

You took a deep breath as the music kicked in and put one foot in front of the other out into a packed out stamford bridge, it would be a nightmare to find your family after the final whistle. But you remained focused on the task ahead, the handshakes went by with no drama, Aitana keeping her comments to herself but making sure to hold eye contact as she passed. You had watched a lot of tapes but it had you thinking you should study whether she did this with every goal keeper before the game to try and sit rent free in there heads.

“They will press high, we know that, they will have a lot of possession, we know that. If we are strong in defence and midfield and we ride the wave, our times will come” Millie started, “We need to be clean and clinical and make most of the chances we get, we can do this team! Blues on three”

“Blues” you called and headed down to your goal for the first half in front of the Barcelona fans who travelled in droves, who were loud passionate and up for a night of football under the lights.

Barcelona came out the blocks quickly it was wave after wave of attacks and shots, you and your defence managed well, they had shots on target but so far none had crossed the line. The Chelsea crowd were fired up after some world class saves from you which was keeping Chelsea in this first leg, you read the game like no other goal keeper from your position. You were in constant communication with your defence making sure they were all on the same page and it paid off you got to half time nil - nil.

You were walking across the pitch as the subs flooded off the benches balls at there feet, you were juggling your towel and water bottle too busy in your head to notice a certain Spanish midfielder had slowed her pace in front of you to let you catch up. “You good” You rose her eyes, “Shame you play for losers”

You found the amusing side, just nodding, “Ok”

“It a fluke” She carried on, “You can’t keep that up in the second half. You loose like you always do, we’re better than you”

You went walking by staring at her as she got to the tunnel Millie Bright waiting, she knew you had a fiery side when pushed and it seemed Aitana was on a mission to push you, “You’ll actually have to have a shot on target next half then” Aitana the only player who got shots off to not get them on target that half, you stared the shorter player down as Millie smacked your back as you went walking by, and into the home dressing room to your manager really pleased with your performance.

You took your seat and tried to not let Aitana in your head, were they better than you? They had beat you every time you’d come up against each other. But you weren’t the same keeper they met in the final a few years back or even last year. You’d got your nutrition right, you’d leaned up gotten stronger your confidence growing and making your abilities grow. You were spoken about as the current best goalkeeper in the world so why was she affecting your mood and confidence.

It was bothering you but you could do nothing to stop her having the effect from two small interactions, there were little ear worms whispering all your insecurities to you during the 15 minute break. As you came back out for an important 45 minutes jogging towards the goal behind the home fans cheering you, you smiled clapping them.

She turned and there was Millie Bright pointing to her head to tell you to get out of it, she knew you too well.

45 seconds later however you had your back to the box hands on hips staring at the Chelsea crowd booing the penalty decision, you shook your head to yourself, as you spun there was Aitana yet again. “All that hard work for your defence to ruin it in 45 seconds” You just held eye contact as you walked by, “Shame”

You motioned with your hand for Aitana to keep talking, “Get the fuck out my box” The referee removed the players from the box as Alexia was placing the ball the referee felt the need to remind you your feet had to be on the line. You bounced around on the line stretching your arms up as you racked your brain from all your studying which way she was more likely to go.

The noise was deafening when you went the right way and swallowed the ball up saving the penalty, “Will you stop antagonising her, it’s making her better” Alexia said to Aitana who looked over her shoulder as she jogged away

“Fuck off” you yelled to no one in particular fully fired up for the next 45 minutes, you were set for a ground breaking clean sheet and draw against Barcelona when yet again a penalty was awarded, you were fizzing it was stupid; reckless, and when a different face stepped up to take the penalty and it went soaring past you even though you went the right way. You were done.

You lay on the grass where you fell stared up at the sky the face you saw was Millie’s offering her hands to get you up.

You knew soon as the restart was taken the whistle would blow so you started gathering your things and sure enough as you started walking out your box there was the whistle.

You slapped the hands of the Barcelona girls Keira Walsh and Lucy Bronze stopped you to talk to you. You managed a smile but it soon faded as Aitana was making her way over she greeted both her teammates before turning her attention to you.

“Don’t start” you almost pleaded you weren’t in the humour for what she had to say, Keira and Lucy’s faces were a picture having missed the comments previously made.

Aitana smirked, “Told you we’d win”

“No you said you’d score past me which you never” you were looking down slightly at the shorter women in close proximity.

“You’re defence screwed you”

“I’m aware”

“You need to make big chances before you come for the second leg in Barca”

“I don’t need to do anything” you looked to your England teammates bid them a goodbye but as you started to leave, she of course just had to follow you.

“You need to sort your back line out” you ignored her comment but she said it again, “You need to sort your back line out”

You turned and faced the Ballon d’or winner, “I don’t need to sort anything, she made one mistake and we paid for it, we’re human it happens.” You pulled the locker room door open, “Just go away go celebrate you won yay!”

“Y/N”

You sighed turning back to her, “What?”

“You should come play for Barca”

You screwed your face, “Oh fuck off” your eyes met her captains tapping her side in a silent plea to come away.

“I’m being serious, come play for the winners”

“Broke Barca can’t afford me” you said before going in side the door letting it close behind you, “What the fuck was that?” You yelled into the locker room, you weren’t happy at Chelsea that much was obvious. Despite being top of your league and seemingly unbeatable you felt disjointed from your team. You weren’t appreciated here that much was obvious.

There was an uneasy air in the locker room constantly everyone had there ego everyone thought they were the sole reason for success. Fingers were quick to be pointed.

“You should of saved that penalty”

You stared at your teammate, “I did! Then you fucking gave away another for no reason! They had 45 shots on target the only one to go in was because of your mistake, this ain’t on me!”

This was the game when you got home, you expressed to your agent you needed to get out. You instructed him in the upcoming transfer window to put feelers out. You couldn’t play in this environment anymore. You needed out.

+

As you were preparing a bag to catch a plane to Barcelona for a medical Aitana was hearing the rumbling rumours around training and it put her in a mood.

“What?” Aitana asked hearing what she thought she heard and needed clarification

“Y/N” Alexia spoke, “She’s coming here for a medical”

Aitana shook her head, “No” Alexia laughed as her friend started walking away

“What do you mean no?”

“She should stay in London we don’t need her here”

Alexia laughed at her comment, “What are you talking about of course we do!” Alexia jogged after her, “Why do you have a problem with her?”

“Don’t like her”

“Why?” Alexia smiled at Aitana, “It makes no sense”

“Just don’t, she’s cocky”

“I think she can be with how good she is” Alexia put her arm around Aitana’s neck, “If she does come here, play nice, if you get past the wall, she’s lovely”

“What do you mean if?”

“Keira and I spoke to her this morning, we’re not the only club that has put an offer in”

“In Spain?”

“No, the world, Cata is out Aitana she’s the best replacement, we need her the other two don’t have the experience we need for the big competitions”

“Why did you speak to her?”

“Barca want her, they wanted me to try to persuade her”

“Did they offer enough money?”

“I don’t know Aita, that’s not something i would be involved in”

+

You shocked the world when Barcelona announced your signing with them on the closing day of the transfer window that had up until that point had been relatively quiet and uneventful. There had been no rumours, no idea, you hadn’t even been reported on wanting to leave you were never apart of the transfer window conversations. It had been kept so under wraps even some of your new and former teammates had no idea.

The rumours quickly circulated. You were the highest paid goal keeper in the world. Highest reported transfer fee not only for a goalkeeper but for a female player which was groundbreaking for the position.

You were obviously a bit nervous on your first day but the staff were lovely and the players you’d met were just as nice and welcoming. You were hugging old friend Ellie Roebuck when a voice behind you spoke, “We had enough money for you then i see”

You took a breath as you turned and there was the slighter frame of Aitana, you couldn’t help the amused little smirk as her hand extended to you. “Seems so” you gripped her hand shook it neither of you wanting to break eye contact it seemed, it was a power move.

“Welcome”

“Thank you”

Aitana loosened her hand from yours as Ellie stood as a passenger to the rollercoaster of nice to angst once again, feeling like she was intruding. “Let’s hope we get our moneys worth out of you then”

You laughed gently, “There she is, always a comment”

Aitana was walking away and made yet another comment, “Someones got to keep that big head of yours under control”

“Aita” you heard a voice come from the locker room she was entering say in a warning tone almost like they were defending you not that you knew the voice.

+

You and Aitana made your team laugh over your first couple of weeks together at the team one of you always had a comment. Alexia said you were like an old married couple always bickering, you just wish you could divorce out of this weird dynamic you’d grown used to.

You had your head in your hands in the canteen, you were reading over your Spanish lesson homework over and over again but it just wasn’t going in. You were never good at languages at school, you just didn’t have that brain for it. You forgot the english words for things a lot of the time let alone another languages translation.

You sighed then froze when a cup of tea was placed just on the edge of your vision, you rose her eyes as Aitana was lowering onto the seat opposite you. “Struggling?”

You leant your chin on her hands, “That obvious?”

Aitana actually cracked a smile something that caused you to smile, “You were staring at the same question when i was in here 20 minutes ago”

You rolled your eyes at yourself, “Thanks for the tea” you grasped the mug in both hands raising it to your lips

“May not of made it right, I’ve never made tea before today”

You took a sip and it warmed you through, settling the anger brewing at yourself for not even understanding the basics “It’s perfect thank you”

Aitana dragged the sheet from between your elbows on the table reading over it, “This is quite simple”

“You speak Spanish!” You defended yourself with a laugh of disbelief, “Of course it’s quite simple to you”

Aitana pointed, “What’s this?”

“Hello”

Aitana gave her a unamused look, “No. In Spanish”

“Oh, you want me to just read it” You felt a bit nervous your accent didn’t lend itself to the Spanish language, Aitana smirked, “Are you here to just laugh at me?”

“No. I came to help” You sipped her tea unsure what to say, “You want help?”

“From you? Not really but i need it”

Aitana slid the paper back, “I got your number from Keira, i’ll text you”

“What?”

And with that Aitana left leaving you behind alone once again even more confused than when she first arrived. Aitana never seemed to have a good word to say about you or to you but her actions were the opposite. She’d hand you water on the water break, she would translate for you in training when your face showed just how confused you were, she’d make sure you knew where you were going around the facility when she noticed you wander by for the fourth time looking for something.

There just was always that comment afterwards though. That reality check.

+

You couldn’t believe you were even doing this, Aitana had invited you over to her home to help you with your Spanish. You paused before you knocked on her apartment door after she’d buzzed you through the main door. “Hola, por favor entra.” You looked lost as Aitana stepped aside, “Hello, please come in” she repeated in your native tongue and you stepped inside. You eyed her dining table she’d got a bottle of wine waiting with two glasses.

“Wine in the afternoon?” You asked turning to her

She hummed as she moved by her, “Too numb the pain” Aitana sat pointing, “Sit” Aitana could be quite blunt it was a taste of your own medicine you could be just the same, all your friends said you didn’t always have a filter and didn’t let your brain process before your mouth started moving.

“Sentarse” You tried the word for sit Aitana raising her eyes as she poured you a glass of rosé.

“Close enough”

“You’re a harsh teacher” you mumbled sitting down beside her, she had copies of your Spanish work with the team, she’d gone to an effort which shocked you. “Where are we starting?”

“The beginning is a good place no?” Aitana sipped her wine after clanking her glass into yours without warning causing your other hand to come up to grip the glass you almost dropped. Smooth.

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you”

“Stupid doesn’t suit you” You frowned at Aitana, now there was no need for that. “Come on” Aitana patted the papers.

“Do you know what? No” You got back to your feet, “I thought you were doing this too be kind, clearly you just want to belittle me, forget it” you grabbed your coat and left before Aitana even had a chance to tell you otherwise or apologise, the chill of the cool evening air hit you as you began the walk back to your own place. You felt stupid enough without Aitana pointing it out and now you felt stupid for a different reason, you thought she was being nice, making the effort. You were gullible and a fool for falling for her small semblance of kindness she’d paid you earlier that day. You hated yourself for being so free and available you could agree to just go round at the click of her fingers, she wasn’t being in control you promised yourself that.

+

You got into training the following morning and you found a book on your seat, you picked it up and by the title you knew exactly who it was from. Spanish for dummies. “Funny” you muttered to yourself dropping it back down to the left slightly so you could sit down and begin to get ready. It would take more than a peace offering, was it even a peace offering towards you was she getting more creative in her attempts at insulting you.

“What are you doing tonight?” Ellie appeared

“I’m busy” you muttered pulling your training top down over your torso

“Doing what?” Ellie questioned the confusion and intrigue all over her face

“I’m just busy that’s all you need to know”

“Do you have a date?” You rose your head now it was your turn to look confused at the instant assumption, “What? Usually you go all secretive when you’re dating”

“No I don’t”

“You do” Keira said as she went to walk by but stopped, “Are you?”

“No!” You exclaimed, “I’m just busy”

Both girls gave you odd looks moving away, they didn’t know why you were in a mood nor did they want to risk asking, “Te gusta tu libro?” Aitana asked taking ear rings out as she walked by, you just stared at her, she called you stupid yet insisted on speaking to you in Spanish despite knowing you could barely say hello. “Do you like your book? The more you listen the more you learn” she said taking her seat to put her boots on.

“The more you talk the less I listen” you fired back with getting to your feet to head out to the training pitch, “Au revoir”

“That’s French” Aitana pointed out a little too quickly for your liking, it was like she almost expected it from you

“I knew that” you exclaimed not turning around hearing the laughs coming from the other girls, you missed the smile Aitana watched you leave with on her face.

“Adios” Aitana called after you, you clicked your fingers your finger coming up in a eureka moment

“That’s the one” You smiled at the goalkeeper coach and got straight to work with him and Ellie, you felt happy on the pitch with one of your oldest friends from England Camps doing your drills through laughter. You were grabbing water on the hot day for Barcelona in January you found yourself watching the outfield players. One in particular.

“She’s too innocent for you”

“Huh?” You looked to Ellie who probably knew you the best, your friendship had been mainly over texts phone call Facetimes and weekend sleepovers over the years but you found yourself opening up to her a lot.

“Aita.. far too innocent for you”

“Oh give over” you shook your head, “She’s barely even a friend” Ellie rose her eyebrows sipping her water, “Shut up” you rose your voice at her

Ellie laughed, “I didn’t even speak”

“You didn’t have to, you have very expressive eyebrows!” You waved your hand at her, “If you’ve not noticed we’ve not got a nice word to say to each other”

“I have noticed”

“Then drop it” You however could not, “I mean I get it, she’s won award after award after award but does she really have to have a comment on everything” Ellie smirked listening to you ramble, “Like every way I turn she’s there with a comment thinking she’s funny or something I don’t know what her game is I think she’s been put on this earth to piss me off and you know what pisses me off she’s pissing me off”

“Do you want to say piss one more time?” Ellie dropped her water bottle back into the cooler as the outfield players were heading over for there water break. 

“Do I want to know?” Lucy Bronze asked with a little smirk at your exasperated expression and Ellie’s amused one

“Can we drop it?”

“You have to stop talking about her for us to be able to drop it”

“Her?” Keira asked, “Who’s her? You have a her?” Keira put her hands together, “Are you finally settling down?” You were known for your ‘fuck boy’ ways back home, why settle down when you could have your fun with whoever you wanted to when you wanted. You didn’t have to meet parents, sit through laborious family meals with people you had to pretend to like because you were fucking their daughter sister niece who ever it may be. Your sex life was once described by Millie Bright as outrageous with the stories you would tell her during practice, you knew your way around women and you liked to be in charge. It was just the way it had to be you didn’t like not being in control. Leah Williamson’s comment she stole from fifty shades of grey on your sex life summed it up perfectly, I don’t make love, I fuck.

Lucy pointed, “Did you see that?” Lucy moved closer to Keira pointing, “Just there, did you not see it?”

“See what?”

“A pig just flew by”

Lucy got a smack from Keira and you in synchronicity getting a yelp back from her as she laughed at her own joke.

+

You were alone in the changing room you looked to your right at the Spanish book, you picked it up and flicked the first few pages, you soon found a post-it note, go to page 259

You did as you were told and saw Sorry and its Spanish translation highlighted, Aitana had a sense of humour. You didn’t know whether she was saying sorry to you or teaching you the word to say sorry to her but either way. It made you smile. “Are you coming for those drinks Y/N?” Ingrid smiled as she was about to head out after coming from the bathroom.

You nodded with a little smile, “I am”

“Do you want a ride? Come with me and Maria if you want?” You took Ingrid up on her offer enjoying the conversation you had with the couple in the car, “You’re nothing like we thought you’d be”

You looked at Ingrid as she looked at you in her rear view mirror, “Looks can be deceiving” you smiled getting a finger gun action from Maria for your humour.

“You obviously naturally hear stuff to” Ingrid carried on, “And make assumptions right or wrong”

“We all do it” You spoke looking out the window still in awe of just how pretty this city is, you thought in the four years you were under contract here for you’d never not be impressed by it.

“You have tattoos?” Maria asked

You nodded, “Mainly on my legs and I have a few on my back” you smiled at Maria, “My mum always told me, Y/N don’t get them anywhere you can see them in your wedding pictures and dunno. Just never have” you laughed at yourself at the absurdity of it. 

“My mami never gave me the same advice” You both laughed as Ingrid smiled, you soon arrived at the privately hired bar the whole team was here even some of the staff, you were told the staff usually didn’t drink and left early so the team could let there hair down together. You found a seat with the better English speakers notably the lionesses on the team which due to her friendship with Keira, Aitana was this end of the table too.

You looked brooding and unapproachable as you sat, muscular arms on show leaning on the table sipping your beer your cap on backwards as conversations went on around you. You were deep in thought. Her eyes moved as the chair beside you became occupied, “Hola” Aitana spoke, you didn’t say a word, “I shouldn’t of called you stupid”

“No” your beer came back to your lips, “You shouldn’t” you took a swig, eyes going back out to the dance floor of your teammates and staff.

“You don’t look sensitive”

You couldn’t help the little sly smile amused by that comment, “I’m very sensitive” you sat back folded your arms your muscles bulging, you noticed Aitana look, her eyes froze in yours when she saw you looking. The eye contact went on far longer than you expected, maybe you were having a staring contest you weren’t aware of. But whatever the reason you weren’t looking away first. You got a smirk on your lips as you chewed your gum, “Can i help you?”

You smiled as she finally looked away, “You’re annoying” Your eyes scanned over Aitana as she blushed profusely.

“Stop looking at me”

“Why?” You matched her whisper turning your body more towards her, your knee brushed hers as you rested your cheek against your clenched fist giving her your full attention knowing it was making her nervous.

“Just don’t”

You leant on your thighs, “Why?” Aitana looked back into your eyes, you could see the curiosity she had for you. Maybe that’s why she was mean to you? Keeping you at arms length, keeping you from getting close enough to see that adorable blush your gaze gave her.

“Eres exasperante” Aitana got to her feet grabbed her drink and off she went leaving you chuckling to yourself as Ellie arrived back from the bar

“Are you tormenting Aitana?” She sat in the seat that had previously been occupied, “I don’t want to come across as rude or that I’m gossiping”

“But you’re going to be rude and gossip?” You smiled getting a dig in your thigh for the cheek.

“I don’t know whether it’s a joke or not and I’ve not asked but they call her the virgin Mary”

“Surely not”

“Why are you judging?”

You frowned at the attitude you got from Ellie, “I’m not! I’m just saying isn’t she like 30”

“She’s 27”

You rolled your eyes moving your knees back under the table readjusting your cap, “Semantics Ellie”

“I’m just saying-“

“I know, too innocent” You assured Ellie you weren’t interested and you found it funny how easy it was to make her blush and torment her. Since she enjoyed seemingly belittling you. “You’re ignoring the fact i’m not interested”

You entered the bathroom and her eyes rose to look at you in the mirror, “Is this a quick staring contest or? I need to pee you see”

Aitana was stone faced as she turned you couldn’t help the smile as she stared you out walking by to leave.

“Great talking to you” you said as the door closed behind her shaking your head going to do your business.

+

You were sat in your Spanish class with Ellie wagging your pencil as you listened your eyes moved as your phone buzzed

Could you look anymore lost

You sucked your teeth and moved your eyes to the window that over looked the training pitch seeing the back of Aitanas head as she went walking by. You shook her head to yourself and soon enough you were thanking your teacher and heading out done for the day.

“Hielo” you looked in the direction of the voice it was Aitana at her car, you had no clue she’d called you Ice as a nickname

“Did you just shout yellow at me?”

Aitana giggled at your stupidity, “Hielo”

You looked dumbfounded as she stopped in front of her car, “You’re literally saying yellow”

“I’m not saying yellow”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever, did you need me for any in particular or just to-“

“Come for a coffee with me” Aitana smiled ever so slightly, “I’ll help you with your Spanish i promise i won’t call you stupid”

You nibbled your lip as you thought about, “Fine but only because i have a stupid test on Friday”

“Entra”

You stood for a second, “i’m going to assume thats along the lines of get in the car” Aitana didn’t speak she just got in and closed the door before you moved to join her and she took off before you even got your seatbelt on

+

You actually cracked a smile whilst tucked away in a corner with Aitana, you liked when she looked happy that you got something right. “It’s going in”

“It’s got to stay there yet” you mumbled before sipping your coffee, you glanced to Aitana and snapped your head back when she was watching you. “What?”

“Nothing” Aitana turned the page, “Not sure how learning animals is going to help you in training” You smiled she was so serious sometimes that it was cute.

“I know the animals”

“Of course you do” Aitana flipped the page rather aggressively, you giggled to yourself lowering your head, “What’s funny?”

“You” you looked to her with a bright smile the amusement plastered all over your face it was making your eyes sparkle. They looked bluer than they normally would.

“Shall i storm out?” Aitana was funny, you were coming around to the fact she was blunt and to find the amusement in it. You’d be assured a few times just like yourself when you got past her wall she was actually the sweetest human being

“You caught me on a bad day”

“Clearly, you don’t seem the type to be bothered easily”

“I’m not usually, but moving countries and clubs can be stressful” Aitana watched you with eyes that told you to carry on as she must of known there was more to your little outburst. “We’re a big birthday family, I missed my nieces birthday, its stupid but I-“

“It’s not stupid, how old was she?”

“2.. her dad said she was asking for me all day, just hard because she doesn’t understand but its something i’ll have to get used to, I was lucky enough to always be able to be there for family things.”

Aitana looked over you, “When do you see them next?”

“No idea”

+

It was ridiculous you were more nervous for your Spanish exam than you were for your Barcelona debut, you had a team to let down in the latter, but the hours Aitana had put into the former to help you made you obscenely nervous for you to fail. You wanted to do this for her, you wanted to do well for her to prove you were listening whenever she thought you weren’t. The late nights studying worth it, staying later after training and seeing her on her off days when she didn’t have to see your face, worth it. For her.

You’d had so many coffee meetings, meals at both your houses one night it got a little, flirty.

“You’re doing it again?” Aitana spoke as you both sat on the same corner of her table.

“Doing what?”

“Flirting”

“Oh” you paused as you were building your next fork full, you didn’t mean to. You were told how flirty you were it was just who you are. You do it without even realising it was something that had never registered with you that that’s why women seem to throw themselves at you. You flirted. You were hot. It was like putting petrol on a fire it was bound to blow up. “Sorry” you knew it made your new friend nervous you couldn’t help it.

“No” you moved your head that quick to Aitana that your head went a little fuzzy, “Don’t apologise people never flirt with me, ever, makes a change” Maybe they were right, was she a virgin? Surely she’d have to of flirted before if she had been physical with someone.

“What never?” You softened and lowered your shock when she blushed, “Or, are you just oblivious to it?”

“I picked up that you were, however unintentionally it was” she finally moved her eyes to yours, “So, no people don’t flirt with me”

“I may unintentionally flirt with you sometimes because i’m told that’s just my personality but, I can flirt for real if you want?” Aitana laughed, it was out of nerves but it came across as dismissive, “What?” You asked lowly scooting a bit closer, “Scared?”

“Of what?”

You smiled when Aitanas eyes were fixed to you biting your lip then it dropped to the hand you respectfully placed on her thigh but let your fingertips dip to the inside making their presence known. “You’ll end up naked on this table if i do”

Aitana removed your hand shaking her head, “You’re ridiculous”

You cracked a smile, “Tell me you weren’t turned on”

“I wasn’t”

A hand covered your heart, “You wound me”

“Every other girl may fall for your charm, those blue eyes and that smile of yours but I didn’t” You laughed as you continued eating

“Didn’t? Or wouldn’t?”

You got a smack from Aitana as you both laughed, “What’s your number?”

“My number? You have my number”

“No” she spoke softly, “I meant, how many people have you slept with?”

You made a noise, as if you were debating something, “That’s a tricky one”

“Too many to count”

You gave a bored look to Aitana, “What’s yours?”

“I’m not telling you that”

“Then why should I tell you mine?” You shrugged, “I enjoy sex i’m not ashamed of that, i like naked women, i like touching naked women, i like naked women touching me-“

“I get it”

+

You found yourself wanting her to feel pride in you. When you knocked on her door as promised to tell her your results she looked more nervous than you did. “Well?”

You smiled ever so slightly putting the woman out her misery, “I got a B”

“Really?” Aitana got so happy she leapt into you, you let out a chuckle as one of your arms came around her, her lips attaching to yours sloppily. When they disconnected she looked just as confused as you did. “What was that?”

“…a kiss” she whispered, your free hand came to her cheek as you leant in whispering

“No it wasn’t.. this is though” You closed your lips around hers faintly, Aitana looked up at your eyes luminous when you pulled your head back to gauge her reaction. She didn’t recoil in horror she didn’t create distance she didn’t stop you when you drew her closer pressing her firmly against your body.

You pressed your lips more firmly against hers this time, she was so trusting so vulnerable as your mouth moved on hers. You could have easily got carried away in the moment, she was closer now than she’d ever been and it still didn’t feel enough. You wanted more of her. You needed more of her as your whole body seemed to light on fire, your body begging for just one of her hands to touch you, find its resting place somewhere. Anywhere. You didn’t take more, enjoying the way Aitana lips seemed to be made for kissing. They were plump, soft, the bottom one slightly fuller than the top, they gave into the slightest pressure allowing your tongue entry. It sent your heart racing as suddenly her hands were pressed to your stomach her fingers scrunched down into a fist gripping your shirt. The way her fingers bounced over your abs; if your mouth wasn’t busy it would have groaned at the feeling.

The kissing became more frantic led by Aitana the anticipation building, your body’s in sync as her arms came around your neck while your body dipped to reach your hands to the back of her thighs to lift her. All the tension you’d had with Aitana ebbing away as you hit the counter lowering Aitana to perch on it. All the rigidity between you dissipating as your bodies had a silent conversation.

You were incredibly turned on, it was taking every fibre of your being to not just rip her clothes off and have your way with her. You liked submissive, the doe eyes of Aitana, the rumour she wasn’t that experienced. It laid itself to you and your need to control in the bedroom.

You ran a hand up her thigh giving it a tantalising squeeze at the top as your mouth went wandering, her neck craned back giving you unbridled access, your hot breathe could be felt on her neck before your lips attached. She removed your cap her fingers getting lost in your hair at the back of your neck and as your tongue dragged from the bottom to the top you almost came at the sweet noise she let out.

Your lips came close to her ear, “How far do you want to go?” You whispered, your movements paused as you waited for the answer, it felt like an eternity until Aitana slipped off the counter top her body rubbing down yours in the tiny gap there was. She held eye contact as she took your head and you were being led through her home, you went by the bathroom the last room you were familiar with.

You found yourself in her bedroom you instantly took a seat on her bed leaning back on your hands, you glanced to your lap, “Sit” your pupils darkened as she slipped onto your lap, she was the one to reconnect your lips she was the one to rid you of your shirt. Your eyes soaked up every inch of her when she moved backwards to take her top off, your bottom lip dragged between your teeth. You noticed her nerves you leant forward kissed her lips as you unclasped her bra with one hand before discarding it to the floor, you rid yourself of your own as Aitana held your face as you kissed. The heat soon found its way back again, your hands gripping her arse you got her to move her hips against you with silent encouragement.

The friction of the fabrics Aitana clearly enjoyed her head going back pulling a gap between your chests you latched your mouth to her breast giving her a hint of just what your tongue could do.

Something switched in you when she tugged at your hair looking down at you with a pleased smirk. The idea of letting the nervous Aitana think she was in control left your brain as you stood with ease holding Aitana with one arm turning a knee going onto the bed as you put her on her back. You rid yourself of your remaining layers before dragging them off Aitana.

You reconnected your lips as your hand rubbed up and down her most sensitive area before testing the waters dipping a finger inside of her. Her lips ripped from yours as she gasped at how deep you went, you dragged the wet finger back up her slit as you whispered in her ear.

“You’re wet already” You smirked against her gently circling her clit with your thumb, she put your finger slowly back into her, it was painfully slow your movements but the breathing of Aitana next to your ear showed it was proving effective. “Can you take another?” You asked your second finger hovering waiting for approval when Aitana didn’t answer to overcome with the feelings you asked again. She let you know she could and you let your fingers move together more freely in and out of her.

You were rougher with Aitana than you intended, you were overcome with raw sexual desire for her, you were lost in the moment forgetting how sweet and innocent Aitana was. But she took it. She loved it in fact it brought out a side in her you didn’t think existed, she wasn’t shy in telling you what she wanted, what felt good, being vocal in her pleasure. You even let her take control in a moment and let her fuck you and oh my god was that a good feeling. You got off getting women off but that was something else.

“I’m coming” Aitana was red and glistening all over from your amorous activities as she sat on your face. You had a firm grip on her thighs to stop her moving, she moaned, “Joder” she exclaimed as her breathing stopped her body tensing, a guttural noise escaping her throat. Her body slumped forward as you smack her arse her hands on the headboard behind you her back arching, you gripped it tightly before you smacked it harder the sound ringing around the room over her moaning as you sucked her clit to another orgasm. “Harder” you easily moved and manipulated Aitana onto all forms slipping from underneath her you grabbed a hand full of her hair pulling it back as your crotch pushed into her backside. “Spank me harder”

As you squeezed and kneaded her cheek you kissed up her back, you knew what you were doing it you were building anticipation, you pulled her head back further to be able to reach her mouth your tongues dancing.

“Y/N” her moaning your name whilst making eye contact drove you crazy

“Yeah baby”

“I want to come again”

“What made you think i was finished with you?” You asked with a little kiss on her lips, “Answer me”

“I don’t know” she moaned as your fingers slipped into her, she bit her lip still maintaining eye contact as you pump harder than ever as you’d learnt she could handle it, you let her hair go and her chest pressed to the sheets squirming. Her eyes moved to yours once again when you pressed a thumb against her asshole. You silently asked permission when she shook her head you gave her what she did want you spanked her and the nervous expression evaporated almost instantly.

“You’re so fucking sexy” you muttered watching the way your own fingers smacked in and out of her, you felt her walls begin to tighten, “You gonna come for me?” You asked, you spanked her harder than ever when she didn’t respond.

The excited little squeal as she pushed up on her hands told you she liked it, Aitana was kinky, who knew. “I’m going to come for you, you’re making me come for you.” You adjusted behind Aitana still on all fours so you could move faster the noise from her slit of her pleasure was audible before Aitana began moaning. Aitana shocked you and herself when she squirted slightly as you removed your fingers to tap her clit.

Aitana collapsed forward moaning every time she took a breath, she was done now. She couldn’t take anymore she was over sensitive her eyes closed as you pressed a kiss to the middle of her back.

You lay back horizontally on her bed you weren’t sure how much time passed as you both silently lay separately catching your breath before you sat up and stood up off the bed.

You grabbed your tee from the floor slipping it on, “Are you going?” You turned your head to Aitana's sweet little voice behind you

“Do you want me to?” Aitana swallowed and shook her head, “Ok” you padded out the bedroom to go to the bathroom, you cleaned yourself up, got a wet cloth grabbed a bottle of water out the fridge and headed back. You walked back around the bed you placed the bottle on the floor tapped Aitana arse, “Roll to your back” she did as she was told and you cleaned her up you threw the cloth across the room into the laundry basket taking a seat as you chugged some water. You looked to her your eyes connecting as you held the bottle to her, she sat herself up taking it from you. When she finished you placed it on the side table for her rose to your feet took the tee back off as you walked around the bottom of the bed you got into bed pulling Aitana to cuddle into you and it wasn’t long until you both fell to sleep after your hours of enjoyment of each others bodies.

+

You were in the locker rooms bathroom doing your hair ready for getting onto the bus to travel for the away game the other side of the city when Ellie stormed in shutting the door making it obvious you were going to be discussing something that wasn’t for everyone’s ears. That door never got shut.

“You slept with Aitana?” She asked, you moved your eyes from hers in the mirror

“How do you know that?”

“I put 2 and 2 together” Ellie explained, “You said you were going to her place last night to tell her your exam grade and she’s showed up here today with hickeys and bruises that are clearly from sex with you, it doesn’t take a genius”

You didn’t speak, you just carried on scraping your hair up into a hair tie.

“Y/N! She could have been a virgin! You know the rumour!”

You turned your head to Ellie you looked a little pissed, “She wasn’t a virgin Ellie”

“How do you know that?”

“Virgins don’t fuck like that!” you held eye contact after your exclamation, your eyes looked into the mirror when a cubicle door opened behind you and Alexia stepped out. She made sure to make contact but not one of you spoke as she moved to wash her hands dry them and leave, she made the point of propping the door back open. You sighed putting your hands on the sink looking to Ellie.

+

You rolled your eyes as you came down the bus Ellie still going on, “Oh come on, we tell each other everything”

“Do we?” You looked over your shoulder, “I tell you nothing and you continually over share” you turned your head back and your eyes connected with Alexia kneeling on her seat back against the window, your eyes dropped to Aitana eyes focused on her phone before looking back to Alexia not a word spoken. Now you were worried. Did you go too far with Aitana?

“Oh come on, I’ll tell you about the last bloke I slept with”

“I couldn’t give a shit about your sex life Ellie” You spoke putting your bag up above sitting in one of the four seats Keira opposite you, the look on her face you thought she knew.

“What are you two going on about?”

“Ellie’s over sharing again” you grumble pulling your phone out to try to block her out.

“Y/N” Ellie sat down

“Will drop it?” You said forcefully, “I am never going to tell you so just fucking drop it”

Keira stared at the pair, “Ok, I need to know whats happened?” Keira leant forward as the bus started to move, “Y/N” you just put her earphones in and turned your music on, with Aitana not even acknowledging you and Alexia’s stoic reaction towards you, you were worrying what conversation they’d had. You didn’t want to hurt Aitana by any means but she didn’t initiate the night previous maybe you’d got a bit too carried away.

You soon were coming off the bus, as you moved along the bus to grab your bag you found yours beside Aitana who was collecting hers. “Hi” you said to her hopeful, Alexia behind her popped her handle up a bit more forceful than you thought necessary. Was she ready to throw hands over something you’d no clue you’d done?

“You know” Aitana rose her head, “I never thought you’d be the type of person to go bragging”

“I-“ Your face softened, you had never considered how your conversation with Ellie may of come across when relayed.

“Save it.. I don’t want to hear it, I told people you were different from the rumours about you, clearly you used that charm to pull the wool over my eyes to get what you wanted”

You didn’t speak you let Aitana walk away with drama, you sighed, “Wow. That was frosty.”

“Don’t” You bit at Ellie, it wasn’t Ellie’s fault entirely but you were annoyed and needed someone to take your anger out on and she was the only option you weren’t close enough to any other teammate who knew the situation, or thought they did like Ellie. “For once in your life just keep your mouth shut”

“Y/N”

“Just.. stay away from me for a while yeah?” You grabbed your case, “She won’t speak to me now because of your stupid comments in the toilet, well in Ellie!” You walked by Alexia who just watched you without a word but her face was different this time. You went into your corner spot thankful to be out the way, you didn’t know whether Aitana was playing a game but you sure hoped she was with how unbothered she appeared whilst you looked racked with sadness and guilt.

You were last to come to the line, you were late in fact. Alexia gave you a questioning look when you didn’t even had your gloves on, “You good?” You didn’t acknowledge her with words and just nodded, “Head in the game?” She couldn’t find out your answer as it was time to walk out.

You played well, despite your mind elsewhere it seemed even distracted you were still one of the best goalkeepers without really trying it was pure instinct.

You joined in the post match greetings Aitana was coming right towards you as both were moving through players telling them good game, did you acknowledge her? And risk her ignoring you and all the players around knew something was a miss. As Aitana got in front of you, your name was called and you were taken away for the post match interview.

+

You turned as the door behind you finally opened, “What do you want?” Aitana asked

You slipped by her into her home, “What do you think I want?”

“I have no idea”

“Aitana” you spoke taking your jacket off putting it on the back of one of her dining room chairs, “You are an incredibly attractive women, you offered it on a plate, you really think I’d turn that down?” Aitana shut the door folding her arms, “I don’t know what you want from me? You’re down right rude one minute, then you insist on spending every minute with you to the point I actually considered you a friend and enjoyed your company, then we have the best sex and you then ignore me.. I’m going to need you to start using some words and explain to me what you want?”

“You” You furrowed your brows, “I want you but I can’t have you”

“Why can’t you have me?”

“Everyone says you don’t do relationships, and I said to myself I wouldn’t go there with you and I did and I don’t regret it I just.. wish I’d prepared myself more for how it would make me feel afterwards”

You close the gap cupping her face, “Who said I don’t do relationships? Surely that’s my decision, I’ve never found someone I want to commit to, I’ve never had that feeling that I didn’t need someone else in my life.. then you happened. If you want me Aitana you can have me, over the last couple of weeks i’ve loved being around you, you make me laugh, I smile when I think about you. I’d really like to see where we could go” Aitana rose her eyes to yours, “What do you say? We go on a few dates and see what happens?”

“We’re dating?”

You smiled, “We’re dating. I’m not done with you yet” you kissed her softly.

[nothorses]

hi sorry to bother u about this, i searched around transmasc subreddits for an answer to this and while i saw a few people joking about getting dry cramps, nobody seems to know what this is. and i vaguely remember seeing a post by you mentioning "mystery cramps" in a post also about vaginal atrophy, but I didnt pay attention to the post much at the time bc at that point i wasnt experiencing atrophy or mystery cramps.

but now I'm a bit over a year on T, (my periods stopped only about 4 months ago though, because i was on a much lower dose than most for a lot longer time than most. that ~4 months ago time frame lines up with upping my dose from 0.2 to 0.3ml. i'm on 0.4ml tho now as of about 3 weeks ago) and suddenly i'm getting "mystery cramps" sometimes, it seems to happen especially the night before my T-shot day, (but i cant say that with certainty—i know i'm having them right now and my shot day is tomorrow morning, and i think thats been the case, but i dont know for sure) and they feel exactly like period cramps. to the point where i feel super paranoid that maybe i've been injecting improperly and the testosterone isnt absorbing right and my period is actually coming back. (something i often have nightmares about)

i searched your blog again for that post and did find it, (the one about estradiol cream treating it) but the wording of it is a little unclear and i wanted to just clarify that this is the same thing youre talking about? or if what im experiencing is different than the "mystery cramps" you meant and i should see a doctor

I am for sure not a doctor, and I think you should see one either way!

My personal understanding of the "mystery cramps" is that it's a part of "vaginal atrophy" that some, but not all trans folks who go on T experience, and it usually doesn't start until a couple of years on T ( which is also, to my knowledge, based on more standard doses as opposed to "low-dose" T).

Mine started about two years in, and was happening occasionally at first- always at night, and often the day before my T shot- then progressed to several nights a week over time. Nowadays I tend to experience cramping almost every time I so much as miss one dose of estradiol. Ibuprofen and Midol are the only OTC pain relievers that seem to do the trick, and the cramping will keep me up through the entire night untreated. It also tends to come in fairly predictable waves (spaced maybe 15-30 minutes apart) and right before I started estradiol, I remember getting some light spotting as well.

iirc, I talked to my PCP when it was just starting up, and their response was along the lines of "that's weird, let's keep an eye on it". I moved and didn't have a PCP for a while, so when the spotting started, I went to a walk-in urgent care clinic and talked to them. They gave me a referral for an ultrasound, and encouraged me to go to a "women's health" clinic that had long history of specializing in trans care as well. When I talked to the folks at that clinic, they encouraged me to go through with the ultrasound (I didn't), and prescribed estradiol cream because I asked them to and they didn't see a reason not to try it.

If you think it's possible this is what's going on with you, I would really encourage you to talk to a doctor, specifically bring up research around this issue and estradiol cream as a treatment option, and ask them if there's a reason not to try it just to see if it does anything for you. If nothing else, estradiol cream also treats vaginal dryness, tightness, and inflammation (other symptoms of "vaginal atrophy"), so it might be worth a shot for those reasons anyway!

And don't do what I did; if they want you to do an ultrasound or whatever else, go with it, and rule out other possibilities. Listen to medical advice from medical professionals who know your medical history and who you trust are listening to you & know what they're talking about.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Reference: Colour Vitamins

11 key ‘colour vitamins’ related to a range of positive (+) and negative (–) attributes.

RED

+ up-beat, confident, assertive, exciting – aggressive, domineering, bossy, threatening

PINK

+ feminine, gentle, accessible, non-threatening – pathetic, unimportant, safe, under-confident

BLUE

+ peaceful, trustworthy, constant, orderly – ‘holier than thou’, tiresome, predictable, conservative

BROWN

+ earthy, homely, gregarious – safe, boring, unsophisticated

YELLOW

+ cheerful, hopeful, active, uninhibited – impulsive, tiresome, whirlwind, volatile

GREEN

+ self-reliant, tenacious, nurturing, dependable – boring, stubborn, riskaverse, predictable

ORANGE

+ vital, funny, enthusiastic, sociable, uninhibited – superficial, common, faddist, giddy

VIOLET

+ imaginative, sensitive, intuitive, unusual, unselfish – weird, impractical, immature, superior

GREY

+ respectable, neutral, balanced – non-committal, deceptive, uncertain, safe

BLACK

+ formal, sophisticated, mysterious, strong – mournful, aloof, negative, lifeless

WHITE

+ pure, clean, fresh, futuristic – clinical, ‘colourless’, cold, neutral

The symbolic or psychological associations of colours have a long history.

In the 12th century, a colour sequence for the liturgical year in the Roman Catholic Church was outlined by Pope Innocent III, and continues to be used today. Examples:

Red vestments are used at Pentecost or for the feasts of martyrs, the colour representing tongues of fire and the shedding of blood;

black vestments are the colour of mourning;

violet vestments represent the mitigation of black, in Advent and Lent; and

green is the ‘neutral’ colour, used ‘in ordinary time’, when there is no special period or feast-day being celebrated.

These and certain other colours (notably white, blue, gold, and rose) are also often used symbolically in many medieval religious paintings.

In modern times:

The psychological associations of colours, and thus the connotations of colour vocabulary, continue to be exploited in a wide range of contexts, such as in the description of paint shades, advertising language, and techniques of self-imaging.

The Color Me Beautiful system is a good example within the last category.

This consultancy was founded by Carole Jackson in the USA in 1974, and now has branches in many parts of the world. Its aim is to help women discover their natural beauty through colour, using the metaphor of the four seasons.

In much the same way as each season presents a distinct array of colours, a person’s colouring is said to be in harmony with one of these palettes, and advice is given about how to enhance these natural colours, and about how to choose additional colours (of make-up and clothing) (M. Spillane, 1991).

Source ⚜ More: On Colours ⚜ Colour Symbolisms ⚜ "Magical Uses" of Colours Writing Notes & References ⚜ On Symbolism

[hyunjinsjeans]

He Knows (I.N ver.)

Han ver. | Felix ver. | Seungmin ver.

Masterlist

Synopsis: A little retelling of how you wind up finding out you’re having a baby with I.N.

Type: Fluff 🧸, angst ❤️‍🩹, female reader 💃

Warnings: mentions of unplanned pregnancy, no last draft proofreading

Word count: 2828

AN: Okay, this one is extra long because Innie is the last one to have been married (in my He Knows universe, thank you so much) so there are plenty of things to cover... I had plans for this story but then my period appeared and uhh, well this happened! Enjoy!

Innie is so sweet when he is with you alone. It was easy to forget he really did not enjoy skinship when you first started dating because he would hold hands with you a lot as long as you were not in public. 

He is used to being taken care of all the time, his hyungs love him and they have always looked out for him as if he was their real younger sibling. It did not change the fact that he was a man. Naturally, he started shaving and he grew out of his shelf more with the years, with the boosted confidence and renewed self worth that outgrowing teen angst gives people he began looking at women around him a different way. It wasn’t just lust, there were possibilities. He learned early on that being an idol and having a family were difficult things to coincide. A rare occurrence. Yet somehow, his hyungs began making it work. So he started considering those possibilities. I.n could tell it was no easy task even if it seemed simple. As an idol, having a partner was a wild dream.

The first one in the group to get married was Hyunjin, ever the romantic he popped the question in an elaborate manner. Everyone knew because he could not shut up about how excited he was. He even practiced with Changbin, Felix and Han as audience to give him pointers. I.n and Chan looked from afar with Seungmin and Lee Know ignoring the bunch. I.n questioned himself right then if he was ever going to find that kind of unquestionable love. Hyunjin was nervous with the excitement of it, but he never mentioned thinking about Hyunjin!Reader saying no. He was merely inviting her to make it official. And the absurd thing was not that he was so confident, but that he managed to make the transition look effortless. From single to a boyfriend to a husband. All on top of being an idol. 

I.n would think about his chances to have a special someone by his side constantly in the next couple of years, when his hyungs began getting married and introducing their girlfriends to everyone at group gatherings. 

After Hyunjin came Changbin, then Lee Know and Chan. Felix got married a little after the elder aussie and then Han was brave enough to pop the question. 

Han had not even finished planning his wedding when Seungmin introduced his girlfriend to everyone, they had already been together for a few months and while nobody had met her in person it was still no surprise to see her. 

It was the revelation that everyone was making a life so difficult for an idol work for them, that made I.n take that step and ask you out. 

You could say you were late to the party, but it was not as if you were strangers. You had met him a long time ago and although at first you thought he was being flirty he never made a move so you dismissed it. 

You were a nurse at a plastic surgery clinic, you were mostly helping the dermatologist so you were used to greeting the young idol at the reception - though you never treated him any differently. To be honest, you were not too aware of who the famous acts were because you spent a lot of your time studying and this was your first job since graduating and getting certified. You were used to seeing him as you usually helped his doctor with the procedures. 

Jeongin’s invitation for a coffee had you blushing behind the reception counter he so nonchalantly leaned on. You could feel the other nurses’ stares burning the back of your neck. You were unable to reply, simply letting out a little “oh”, and giggling. Your coworker coughed on her desk beside you, safe from Jeongin’s stare. She opened her eyes wide and nodded frantically in your direction. A silent but clear “say yes, you idiot!”

“Sure!” You had said, grabbing the reception pen and a flier from the bunch on the desk. 

You scribbled your number and told him to text you so you could agree on a time and place. 

***

It seems too long ago now as you stare at the pregnancy test in your hand. 

Outside the bathroom you can hear the sound of steps going from the door to the window, they barely stop and then they trace their way back. 

I.n was nervous when you brought up the topic the night before, he was brushing his teeth and you were already laying down under the covers. 

“I’m never this late,” you explained, “I called the doctor but he won’t see me until Friday…” 

He was the one to ask you to take the test after hearing you were going to have to wait an entire week to see the doctor. He would not be able to wait that long with this news looming over his head.

You had not actively tried to have a baby, but both of you knew you were having some mild symptoms. An aversion to some smells and food, a strange dizziness every other day at random times of the day. The lack of your last period was the only piece in the puzzle to finally land in its place.

He was waiting outside in the bedroom, panicking. Panicking big time because he was scared. He was scared of the world outside your home, the people outside your relationship.   

Unlike his members, he went the private route with you. He did not want you to be subjected to judgment and criticism. He would hate himself if he put you in such a vulnerable position. In his eyes, he had few chances to take care of the people he loved, he was almost always the one protected by an elder or a more authoritative figure; with you, he was the lead. He was the one in the public eye taking the metaphorical blows and the literal hate. 

He was the one showing his face to fans who loathed the meaning behind the ring on his finger, he was the one avoiding posting the pictures he took of you, the one asking the company to make sure they cut any footage of you they would get on camera even if it was funny, especially if it was funny.

You were his safe space, his home and his world. 

He knew the moment you two had children that the shitstorm would be of astronomical proportions. He wished with all his being he never had to talk you out of having kids, because he knew in his heart that it would make him the happiest man alive to fill your house with the sound of their laughter. In his wildest dreams he would have three kids with you, all of them would be as funny and curious as you, they would probably inherit some of his fox-like features and maybe just like him they would be carefree little troublemakers. 

Oh, Innie would love to be over the moon with excitement but right now he was wishing and praying you had just been late… he had dropped his second mini album a few days ago, he could not fathom the idea of juggling the promotions and tour with a pregnant wife at home and the secrecy of it all.  

You were aware of all of Jeongin’s unspoken worries because he tends to take up more responsibility than anyone ever asks of him. When you met his members, his leader told you so in secret - although you were already aware from the months dating him. 

I.n was your everything from the moment you met at that coffee shop that first time outside of scrubs. It was because you met him - not the idol; and he was sweet, he was sincere and smart. You could tell his mind raced behind his eyes even then, he was reserved both with words and touch. 

It was not unusual to walk with him somewhere and stand next to him at arm's length, he rarely held your hand and even more oddly would wrap his arms around you in public. The most he would ever do was sit next to you at restaurant tables. Although there were sparks of affection here and there they were scarce and far between. During group meals he would allow your chairs to be closer than usual and he would not mind having your thigh pressed against his, but this was it. Sometimes when you brought him a smoothie or a coffee during your lunch break he would let his fingers brush against yours for a second too long. Jeongin was better at making the time and taking notice of your interests than he was at wording his affections. 

In private he would laugh at what he came to nickname your “labrador behavior”. It reminded him of Felix at first, he enjoyed the sensation of your hands on his hair and how you rubbed his scalp in such a soothing manner he would feel himself begin to drift with sleepiness. 

After a while together he could no longer have his friend in mind when you came near him, he was the last thing on his mind; you were quite obviously not him. Rubbing his back and then his shoulders, kissing the back of his neck and wrapping your arms around his waist while you layed in bed. 

Of course once you started having sex he became more touchy at home as he was more comfortable with the physical contact knowing you welcomed it. He enjoyed simply standing behind you while you cooked or brushed your teeth and liked to tilt his head to smell your hair. He began letting his arms wrap around your shoulders when you watched tv and he pulled you to his side so you could lay against him on the couch. 

He was happy to live his life with you away from prying eyes, but how private could it stay if you showed up at events with a big round belly? People were curious, they had always been and sometimes they found ways to glance into your lives. Somehow, people knew what you looked like, and this was bad enough to him.

I.n did not want to do as his members had done, he was adamant his family were not public figures so they stayed private. Everyone respected that, most fans respected his wishes of privacy as well. The ones who did not were the ones he allowed himself to spend the most time worrying about. Because you were his small delicate flower on a strange planet, which he adores too much to pluck and take home under a spotlight for people to stare and dissect and pick at and hurt. 

You sighed once the result was clear on the test. Your eyes traveled to the three year old ring on your finger. With shaky legs you stood and pushed your hair behind your ear as you grabbed the door knob and turned it, the footsteps outside the door quickly came to a halt. Walking into your bedroom your gaze met your husband’s and you felt your mouth go dry, words stuck in your throat. His expression softened and he extended his hand for you, you handed him the test, eyes looking away as you pulled your hand away immediately. 

I.n grabbed the small plastic tube and gazed at it with a straight face. Your eyes watered and the air in the room seemed to be insufficient to your lungs, you turned to book it and get space away from him; his arms fell by his sides and he watched you reach the doorway and leave through the long hallway. 

It only took him about four long strides before he was right on your face. 

His free hand cupped your face and he pulled you into him so your head could rest on his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around you and you immediately let his warmth envelop you as you held on to him. 

You were like that for a couple of minutes, holding onto each other in silence. You felt guilty, afraid of what he would say. Innie did not want kids, at least not now, you were sure of it. You hated the thought that he would be angry, that he might blame you - and in your mind he would be right to do so because you had been slacking and missing some pills… 

You heard him chuckle above you and peeled your cheek from against his shirt, your face was tear stained with fear but he was looking up at the ceiling with his lips pursed and an undeniable smile plastered on all of his features. His fox-like eyes looked like two long lines.

Like every single time before, you were life’s accomplice in making him realize how much more there was to life than to playing it safe. He wondered if you would ever let him catch his breath, as it felt like you always had surprises for him. Anytime he was sure of something you changed his world; first by entering, then by asking him if he wanted to have a space in your closet, then moving in with him, and the last one had been when you accepted his nervous proposal and married him. Now you had somehow found a way to pull at his heart strings and bring his head out of the daze of carefulness. 

He noticed your eyes on him and he sniffed, then he returned to holding your gaze. 

“I knew it!” He admitted, “I knew you would be the death of me!” Tears spilled from his eyes.

You swallowed hard, an apology beginning to come to your lips. You had talked about having kids once, but he told you he would not force his luck like that being an idol and being married was already challenging enough… you had accepted that, having Jeongin was more important to you and that was a compromise you were willing to make. 

“I’m s-”

“No,” I.n interrupted you, “don’t say that, I am sorry.” He cried a little more, “I’m not mad, I’m-I’m actually happy!” 

You heard his voice break and he let out a chuckle as more tears fell down his face. You wiped them and wrapped your arms around him again, placing your head in that comforting spot on his chest. 

“I’m scared,” you admitted in a whisper, still in his embrace. “What do we do now?”

I.n squeezed you against his body and then pulled away, leaning back to see your face even though you were looking down, avoiding his gaze. 

His hands traveled down your arms and he held your hands. 

“We,” he paused, “are going to the doctor on friday. Then you are going to do everything they say you do. And I am going to take care of you. As best as I can, I promise you.” 

You smiled with the urge to cry some more and your husband kissed your cheek, bringing you closer again. This had been one of those strange things that let him know something was up with you; you were suddenly breaking into tears at anything. 

“I would love that!” You cried into his black shirt, a wet patch forming.

“Please don’t cry, you’re making me cry,” I.n pleaded with his cheek against your head. “I hate to see you cry, and I don’t think it’s good for the baby either!”

Your grip on him tightened and beyond helping his words seemed to encourage more emotion to overwhelm you. And so the hiccups began. 

“Aw, Y/N… babe…” he rubbed circled onto your back seeing as you were so affected 

Your husband helped you sit down with him on the living room couch, still holding on to him while you tried your best to recover control over your emotions. It truly was a hormonal thing. 

“Innie?” you sniffed, brave enough to let go for a moment. He gave you a soft smile, pushing your hair behind your ears as it had become somewhat unruly. “I love you.”

Your husband broke into a smile and he cupped your face, already aware you needed all the physical contact he could offer. 

“I love you too,” he gave a soft peck to your nose and you blinked in surprise, fully not expecting this display of affection even in the privacy of your house, “and I love you too.” 

You followed Jeongin’s eyes as his hand moved to your stomach and he placed his palm against it over your sweater, a tender smile adorned his features. You sucked in a breath and placed a shaking hand over his. 

“You’re going to make me cry again,” you whispered. “I think they love you very much too.”

————

Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!

[sashathegirliepop]

!!! INTRO POST !!!

!! GENERAL !!

Hii :3 I'm Sasha, I'm transfemme, I go by she/her pronouns (She/it if we're close [You can ask whether or not I'm ok with it]), I'm a sapphic girl but I don't like labels that much, I'd love to be moots :))) I follow back basically everyone on here and would love to talk to you. I am polyamorous and not single <3. I'm probably on the autism spectrum and I am diagnosed with ADHD and started meds on 2/6/2025. I have clinical anxiety which comes out fairly often because of my low dose of medication, here's my really cool and awesome pronoun page ^^ !!!

!! BOUNDARIES AND DNI !!

Serious Dni`s: Racists, Zionists, misogynists, homophobes, transphobes, ableists, fatphobes, xenophobes, bigots of any kind, proshippers, pedophiles, anyone I know Irl (Obviously besides JJ, Finn, Moldy, Trezo, Noah, Howl, and Atticus), and NSFW blogs (I am a minor)

Other Dni's: Joe Hawley defenders, Viziepop dickriders (Casual fans are chill because I know that like 75% of queer people under twenty fuck with HH and HB), Rose (little-pangender-idiot), Zero (epistemologically -sound), Ballads of a Bluejay defenders, Booktok girlies, Drake fans, Dream dickriders, y'all are freaks and I wont hesitate to block you. Also if you are directly named on this Dni, you are not going to be taken off of it no matter how much you ask, you are shitty and others need to know that.

!! FANDOM AND MUSIC !!

Fandoms I'm in include: The Magnus Archives, Camp Here & There, Witherburn After School News, Don't hug me. Im scared, Toilet Bound Hanako Kun, The Promised Neverland, Fate Apochrypha, Pui Pui Molcar, Melliot, Starkid, Elliotly, Jhariah, Kendrick Lamar, Peysoh, Doechii, Master P, Tyler the Creator, J Cole, Ceechynaa, Aliyah's Interlude, Lil Nas X, Future, Metroboomin, Nik Salah, Will Wood, The Crane Wives, Junie & the Hut Friends Mother Mother, Tegan and Sara, Lemon Demon, Ghost and Pals, Tally Hall, Charli xcx, Girly Girl Productions, SZA, Soddiken, Life series, Celeste, Minecraft, Cooking Companions/ Dreadweight, Omori, Mariokart, Heartstopper, Adventure Time, The Boondocks, Steven Universe, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, CJ The X, The Good Place, Lego, AND WOMEN

All special interests are highlighted in purple. All hyperfixations are highlighted in blue, hyperfixations might often change because of my ADHD /gen

!! LINKS & SOCIALS !!

Currently I have four side blogs:

@sashathesidebitch - Side blog!! very rarely used tbh.

@sashathespammer - This is a blog specifically for note spamming so I don't recommend following it unless you have a death wish.

@sashathevivziepop - This is a parody of Vivziepop bc I hate her

@popeilrigehtahsas - I will be mainly vague-posting on there so don't follow if that's not your cup of tea!

@sashathewhore - Freaky blog, dni adults + irls that im not freaky with

Here's my notes post (All goals are completed)

https://www.tumblr.com/sashathegirliepop/753500829300981760/woooo-everyone-else-is-doing-this-so-i-will-too?source=share

My Spotify:

My Pinterest:

My Bluesky:

My Last.fm:

My Discord: SauteedDipsyGreens

!! TAGS !!

Here are the tags I use to organize my posts! Keep in mind that no posts were organized like this before June 20th, 2024!

#sasha answers - Whenever I answer an ask

#sasha moment - Anything posted originally by me (excluding when I don't feel like tagging, this happens often)