#special delivery: santa's christmas chaos

[everygame]

Special Delivery: Santa’s Christmas Chaos (C64)

Developed/Published by: Dalali Software / Creative Sparks (Thorn EMI Computer Software) Released: 1984 Completed: 05/12/2024 Completion: Got a high score of 8750. I’ll take it!

Writing about old video games for an audience of very few could seem like a thankless task–especially when they’re as awful as Christmas Crackers. But there’s a reason I do it. One, I just love playing games, even if they’re so crap I give up on them in minutes. Two, I just love learning. I love discovery, I love finding out things that are new to me about video games and their history. And sometimes, if I’m lucky, I find out some things that no one has really paid attention to before.

I never thought playing a completely random Christmas cash-in on C64 would bring me anything like that.

Special Delivery: Santa’s Christmas Chaos is a game for C64, Spectrum and Atari 8-Bit released by Dalali Software under Thorn EMI’s “Creative Sparks” imprint. At the time it sank without trace due to, apparently, a lack of marketing. After playing it–and I will get into that–I did my usual investigation into the developer, and was quite prepared to dismiss Dalali as one of the many fly-by-night British game developers of the 1980s–they appeared to be only a going concern between 1984 and 1989 and didn’t have any particularly notable games to their name. They were responsible for ports of Rescue On Fractalus and Lilttle Computer People to Amstrad CPC, but largely seem to have had the bad luck of being most related to 1986’s Biggles game. The weirdest thing about that is that not only did I really like the movie on which it was based (which I’m sure no one else remembers but me) when I was a kid, watching it on telly several times, I’ve actually played the game! It was on Amstrad Action #68’s covertape (along with How To Be A Complete Bastard!) and, as vague as my memories of it are now, I’m sure I played it loads of times. Less than How To Be A Complete Bastard, admittedly.

This led me to dig a little further, and sometimes things just fall into place, because I found an astonishingly in-depth article from Sham Mountebank’s When Were They Now? blog (a new one to me) all about Dalali. I think Mountebank slightly buries the lede however, because digging into the linked articles it seems absolutely remarkable that Dalali is not only in the ranks of the earliest companies to have been founded (or co-founded) by a woman, but very likely the first game company founded by a Palestinian: Hanan Samara.

Hanan Samara, pictured in Computer & Video Games March 1985.

Game companies had been co-founded by women before–most famously Sierra, by Roberta Williams and her husband Ken in 1979–but I think Samara’s story might be unique.  According to an interview with ANTIC The Atari 8-bit Podcast she believes she might have been the first female assembly programmer in the UK, starting out by converting software to work for the Arabic market. Moving to work for Thorn EMI, she’d see a Humpty Dumpty puzzle game–programmed by her future husband(!) Chris James–and be “hooked.”

After coding Jumbo Jet Pilot for Atari 8-Bit for Thorn EMI, it seems that she made the leap to founding Dalali–named for her mother’s maiden name (as her mother said go for it, while her dad said to get a job at IBM...) with another ex-employee, Adrian Wadley.

Something I really appreciate about Samara’s story is that she immediately brought herself to game design, with Dalali’s first game “Jinn Genie”. While this kind of Arabic-theming undoubtedly seems stereotypical today, in an interview with Popular Computing Weekly it is clear that this is an early example of someone trying to represent their culture via the art of video games:

“Jinn Genie is a game that incorporates many of the basic myths and children’s stories of my culture–I am an Arab, a Palestinian, and all the ideas of genies and so on are familiar to me.”

Jinn Genie, on C64.

The most disappointing thing, to me, is that Samara is, at this point, unheralded outside of a blog post, one short podcast, and about… three short articles featuring three pictures that can be found on archive.org! She’s one of the UK’s earliest female programmers, game designers and founders, perhaps the first Palestinian game developer, and she has managed to run Dalali since 1984 because it’s still going–they just stopped making games.

Samara’s story isn’t mine to tell, so I hope that institutions like GDC, The Video Game History Foundation or The Strong can find out more and champion her. Figures such as Muriel Tramis have gone from overlooked to winning the Legion of Honour, and if I can help get the word out about Hanan Samara, just a little bit, I’ll feel I’ve done my part.

But I know what you’re asking now.

“But how good is Special Delivery: Santa’s Christmas Chaos???”

So let's return to regular programming. First, I’m going to note that I believe I have played the wrong version of this. When it came to games, Samara was an Atari 8-bit coder, and it is absolutely transparent that Special Delivery is based entirely on Jinn Genie–both feature a flying section, a climbing section, and a section with floors and ladders. It does feel like I should have played the Atari 8-bit version to experience the most representative version, as I did with playing the C64 version of Pirates, let’s say.

(It’s worth mentioning here also that the ANTIC podcast–recorded seven years ago now–even notes that the version of Jinn Genie that Samara coded, for the Atari 8-bit, seems to be lost, although Samara does say that she has a copy of it somewhere. Aforementioned institutions could probably help with that too. What that largely means, though, is that the Atari 8-bit version of Special Delivery is the closest you can get to playing the original Jinn Genie.)

To be fair, the C64 version seems pretty close to the original (the ZX Spectrum port is… not).

As I’ve said previously, my expectations for a Chrimbo cash-in have been low, and no matter how much this is sort of a reskin of a previous game, that it’s got an idea and an actual design exceeds anything I’ve expected. At first glance you might go “well, isn’t this just Santa Claus again?” (or even Santa’s Sleigh Ride.) But it’s honestly much more–even if it is still a bit weird.

In Special Delivery, you’re first flying across the screen in Santa’s (somewhat confusingly drawn) sleigh, collecting presents that… angels are dropping. Which implies that this is in fact the historical Saint Nicolas, or maybe I’m just overthinking it. You’re trying to collect a target number of presents, but you lose them if you crash into clouds (odd) or accidentally collect a demonic present dropped by a devil (who appear rarely, but look very much like angels, annoyingly.) Losing presents won’t kill you, but Santa has a set amount of hours in the night, and you lose an hour if you get struck by the lightning that occasionally appears from the strangely firm clouds.

If you collect enough presents, you get to land on a big house to put presents under the tree. First this requires you climb down the chimney, which in this situation is: huge, full of ladders, and lit so flames keep climbing the ladders that you have to dodge. Once you’ve done that, you’re actually in the house, where you have to Solid Snake your way to the tree, drop off the present, grab the front door key, and then leave through the front door, while the residents run wildly from one room to the next, seemingly out of their nut with either excitement for Christmas or hatred for Santa. Get hit by a flame or grabbed by a resident and you’ll lose an hour.

Interestingly, if you don’t collect enough presents, you don’t get to go into any big houses, but you do get to drop presents down the chimney of some wee houses. You only really pick up big points for going into big houses, which raises the concerning idea that Santa only gives a fuck about you if you’re rich enough to live in a big house.

But to be fair, the people in big houses seem absolutely determined to not get pressies, keeping their fires roaring and attacking Santa on sight, so perhaps he just likes the challenge. “I hope Santa doesn’t show up” they’re saying, “we’ve got all the stuff we need in this big house. We don’t need wooden toys or whatever the historic Saint Nick would be handing out, he should give those to the poor people in the wee houses.”

More fool them, I checked Wikipedia and he was dropping off bags of gold coins through people’s windows. (Admittedly to stop them being sold into prostitution.)

Anyway. Even before I knew the exciting context for Special Delivery, I was struck by how… weirdly ok it was! Maybe it’s just how bad the other Santa-em-ups have been (well, I guess I didn’t hate Merry Xmas Santa) but the different sections largely make sense together, undoubtedly because it’s based on Jinn Genie. The main problem really is that it just doesn’t control very well. Flying the sleigh is stiff, and when you’re actually controlling Santa himself, he reacts very slowly to your input, meaning you have to time presses based on the lag, and I probably lost most of my lives in the chimneys as a result–it might be better on the Atari 8-Bit, so more fool me.

Special Delivery is not really the kind of thing that’s going to hold your attention for very long, but it does actually manage to be playable and feels properly festive. I’ll celebrate that.

Will I ever play it again? I was surprised to see a non-zero number of people say online that playing this is a bit of a Christmas tradition. Well, I don’t think I will be taking it up, but I do fancy playing Jinn Genie at some point now--maybe once that Atari 8-bit version is found!

Final Thought: In my research I was surprised to discover not only had I played a Dalai Software game before, I’d also played a Creative Sparks game, similarly loads of times: Danger Mouse In Double Trouble. Strangely, it has the same multi-game design as this (and I guess, a lot of the computer games of the era) but suffered a lot more for them not having any meaningful connection and mostly being rubbish. Even as a child I remember enjoying just the jungle level and suffering through the rest to get through that. The things you’ll do when you’ve got nothing else as a child.

Every Game I’ve Finished 14>24 is OUT NOW! You can pick it up in paperback, kindle, or epub/pdf. You can also support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up digital copies of exp., a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[retrocgads]

UK 1987

[taekookreading]

*⋆🎁 Taekook Fic Recs: Christmas! 🎁⋆*

❆ Merry christmas, darling (4K) by atechamcham

When Jeongguk draws Taehyung's (aka the love of his life's) name in their school's secret santa, he vows to be the cutest goddamn secret santa this world has ever seen.

❆ I'm here, I'm home (on a white christmas eve) (5k) by perfectaenist

“Another Christmas without you, huh?” Jeongguk sees Taehyung sigh on the Skype call, his heart aching a bit with how sad he sounds. What Taehyung doesn't know is how he’s been thumbing at the plane tickets in his hand the entire call. Tickets that'll bring him right back to Taehyung.

❆ I was told there'd be cookies (18k) by mintsoda

'Taehyung, this is a very special present I have here,' Namjoon holds it up for Taehyung to see and Taehyung blinks at it, bottom lip jutted out a little, 'I would like you to deliver it for me. Could you do that for me, Taehyungie?' 'Really? Me? It's my turn finally?' he asks a little too fast, taking the box out of Namjoon's hands to observe it carefully but with a pinch of curiosity. 'What's in there?' 'It's something very important, please be careful with it. It’s for a young man called Jeon Jeongguk. It’s a special gift, something really, really precious, you see?'" When Christmas elf Taehyung accompanies Santa to the human world on his first ever present shower – Santa forgets to take Taehyung back home with him. Luckily for him, his first present delivery is for aspiring baseball player Jeon Jeongguk who, as he finds out, must have had a very peculiar Christmas wish: milk and Taehyung's favourite cookies.

❆ My seasons were always you (40k) by youremine

After yet another failed relationship, Taehyung avoids his family Christmas dinner in favor of inviting his ex-husband, Jeongguk, to spend the weekend away with their children. And maybe, for the first time in years, things start to feel that little bit right again.

❆ All is bright (22k) by localwordsmith

Christmas lights are Taehyung's area of self-proclaimed expertise. So, naturally, when his neighbour starts upstaging the light decorations in his window, he has to fight back. (or: Taehyung gets very invested in a Christmas decorations war with his neighbour and might find the cutest boy he's ever seen along the way?)

❆ Santa Baby (3k) by meanho

Jeongguk works part-time as a mascot to save up money so he could finally confess to his crush of two years, a senior named Kim Taehyung. He didn't think he could fall harder until one freezing Christmas Eve.

❆ A Million Little Reasons (10k) by alwayswithyou320

“What are you doing here?” “I’m here to attend the Christmas party you’re hosting,” Jungkook responds, then he reaches out, cupping the side of his jaw as he leans in for a kiss. “And maybe I just want to see my husband at work.” “You just want to see me in an ugly Christmas sweater.” He can feel the way Jungkook smiles into his lips. “Yes.” OR: Two whipped and in-love husbands celebrate Christmas together in all their domestic, fluffy and spicy glory.

❆ That old feeling (21k) by youremine

Jeongguk and Taehyung break up days before the Christmas get together. For the sake of their friends, they pretend it never happened.

❆ Wrapped With Love (4k) by blueandgasoline

Jungkook is a professional gift wrapper. He wraps gifts for people, and even offers to handwrite messages of his clients’ choice on glittery cards. And he truly does love his job— But when a rude lady comes into his shop on Christmas Eve and asks him to write a despicable message for this mysterious T. person, Jungkook takes it upon himself to make some minor, not-so-subtle… alterations to the original message. It’s all for the Christmas spirit, after all. Chaos ensues. (Christmas spirit-compliant chaos, of course.)

❆ We'll Be All Alone Under the Mistletoe (10k) by cblaire

In which Taehyung is definitely not Gatsby, and Jungkook is most certainly not his Daisy. No matter what Jimin says. Taehyung is not trying to "Great Gatsby" Jungkook. Really. Or, the one where Taehyung decides that the best way to woo the boy he's been pining after for years, is to throw a lavish Christmas party and string a veritable forest of mistletoe overhead in the hopes of getting a kiss from Jungkook. And Taehyung does get caught under the mistletoe. Just, with someone else. As Jungkook sees.

// Please, read the tags. //

[openheartfanfics]

Tobias x F!MC: Pure Fluff

One Shots: S - #

Santa (or Not) - @trappedinfanfiction 🎄 It's Christmas in the hospital, but Santa is unable to visit. Celia and Alexis is on a mission to fix it. Feat. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC

Simple Moments - @jerzwriter Tobias has got it bad. After a ribbing from his brother, he hears a song that reminds him of Casey, and he rushes home to share it with her.

Simple Pleasures - @jerzwriter 💘 Tobias is driving himself crazy trying to create the perfect Valentine's Day for his new wife and momma-to-be.

Snow - @perriewinklenerdie Tobias tests the waters while having a drink with Claire.

Something Sweet - @jerzwriter  It's Olivia's birthday and her friends are ready to celebrate. Feat. Bryce x F!OC, Ethan x F!MC

Special Delivery - @jerzwriter  Tobias is the first one home, and when the lights go out, he accidentally opens the wrong package, and he's in for quite a surprise.

Sprout - @jerzwriter A cute little drabble about the couple’s attempt to try new things, and how it helps Tobias get the one thing he really wants.

Sweet Chaos - @jerzwriter 💘 With the help of Tobias, Casey recreates a Valentine's Day family tradition from her childhood for her three little girls.

Sweet Stuff - @jerzwriter  Recently engaged, Tobias & Casey are enjoying breakfast at one of their favorite places when they spot Ethan. Feat. Ethan Ramsey

Table Talk - @jerzwriter   Tobias and Casey make use of the conversation starters at a roadside cafe.

Take Me Out - @jerzwriter Casey’s trying new things and meeting new people. It’s challenging at first, but she’s getting the swing of it, and someone finds themselves happy to get a chance at-bat.

TBI - @alj4890 Ⓜ It's early on in their relationship, so Chris is still discovering new things about her favorite doctor in this steamy fluff fic.

That's the tea, T. - @jerzwriter  A walk to the new coffee place turns into an educational experience for all as Tobias's tea order causes some commotion. Feat. Bryce Lahela, Ethan Ramsey

The Babysitter - @alj4890  Tobias accidentally says "He needs to babysit" their kids and Chris overhears this.

The Big ONE - @jerzwriter  While Tobias and Casey are captivated with their little angel, Pietro is all too happy to jump in and get a bit of that cake he's been eyeing all afternoon.

The Big Secret - @jerzwriter   Casey and Tobias are trying to figure out what they are to each other; when she calls him to meet her at Donahue's, does she let it all out?

The Date - @alj4890 Tobias invites Chris as his date for his mother's wedding.

The Dinner Party - @alj4890  Tobias invites the Diagnostics team for dinner.

The Fine Print - @jerzwriter Casey is still trying to return to herself after the attack, and an unlikely person is helping her pave the way.

The Getaway - @alj4890  Tobias and Chris are secretly dating (well before the events of the attack in Book 2) and are still getting to know each other.

The Great Outdoors - @jerzwriter  Casey proves she'd do just about anything for love when Tobias takes her camping.

The Hangover - @lucy-268 Samantha doesn’t feel well and Tobias takes care of her.

The Late Shift - @jerzwriter Ⓜ Casey is tired of waiting for Tobias, who is working late, so she surprises him at work with some of his favorite things.

The Missing Piece - @jerzwriter Casey's heading out for a night with friends, and Tobias is on Dad duty.  The night goes well overall, but it's not complete until Casey returns home.

The Mrs - @jerzwriter   Casey inadvertently calls Tobias her husband early in their relationship.

The Offer - @alj4890 Tobias is offered the chance to not only join the staff at Edenbrook, but also the diagnostic team.

The Perfect Day - @jerzwriter  A look at four Days from four vacations spread over four decades. Feat. Ethan Ramsey, Tobias Carrick x F!MC

The Perfect Gift - @jerzwriter Tobias and Casey welcome their first child into the world and set some ground rules along the way.

The Perfect Gift: For Your Eyes Only - @jerzwriter Ⓜ Tobias is always spoiling the love of his life, and she desperately wants to do something in return for him. But the man has everything. What can she possibly give him? Suddenly, she has a perfect idea! And it’s a gift that keeps on giving.

The Perfect Thanksgiving - @jerzwriter 🦃 Tobias and Casey spend their first Thanksgiving together as husband and wife.

The Secret Is Out - @lucy-268 Now that Sami’s friends know, it’s time for the hospital to find out. Told from Ethan’s POV.

The Wake - @alj4890  In this short drabble Tobias and Chris have been dating for about four or five months at this point.

Their First Christmas - @bex-la-get 🎄 Three couples celebrate their first Christmas together. Feat. Ethan x F!MC, Bryce x Sienna

Thinking - @a-crepusculo   What is Nyla thinking when she sees Tobias?

This Christmas - @lucy-268 🎄📅 It’s Tobias and Samantha’s first Christmas together as a couple. Will it turn out how they planned?

Three Stooges on a Date - @romewritingshop Feat. Bryce and Ethan

Times Two - @jerzwriter Ⓜ A lazy afternoon takes a turn when a napping Tobias starts talking in his sleep.

To Love & Protect - @jerzwriter ☁ The chemical attack was over six months ago, and Casey is trying to adjust to her new normal with her new boyfriend at her side.

Tobias and his Lovely Ladies - @jerzwriter   Tobias & Casey share a typical Saturday morning discussing what to get his mother for a birthday gift.

Toy Story - @jerzwriter  Ⓜ They’re officially a couple, and it’s date night! Without any plans, except each other - then they wind up in a titillating place....

Treacherous - @bex-la-get Friends with benefits gets complicated when emotions get involved.

Treat for Two - @alj4890 👻 Halloween is a perfect time for Tobias and a few others to bring up the fact Chris looks eerily like Karen Gillian.

Under The Mistletoe - @jerzwriter ☁🎄 Tobias & Casey have been trying to push their feelings for each other away from the day they met. But holiday parties have a reputation for bringing these things to the surface, and they are not immune.

Upon Arrival - @jerzwriter  Casey's stuck at work a little late, so she asks Tobias for a favor. Her usually unflappable husband seems a little... flapped... and we're about to find out why. Feat. Jackie Varma

Visceral Reaction - @alj4890  Tobias and Chris are public now and very much in love, but he witnesses a tender moment between her and Ethan.

Wanna Bet? - @jerzwriter 🎄 Jackie and Sienna make a fun bet when Tobias drives them and Casey to pick out a Christmas tree.

Washed Up - @jerzwriter   Tobias has to pay the price for Bryce's discovery. Feat. Bryce Lahela

We're Having a Baby - @jerzwriter  As Tobias heads to work and Casey heads to a routine doctor's visit, they are unaware of the chaos about to be underway.

Part 1 | Part 2

When Christmas Comes Around - @lucy-268 🎄 Tobias and Samantha spend some time together leading up to the holidays. During this time, they aren’t together as a couple; they are friends still trying to decide what they want to be. This takes place during Book 2 after the attack.

When Husbands Become Prey - @lilyoffandoms 🛸Ⓜ The evening takes a turn for the bizarre. Feat. Bryce Lahela x F!OC, Ethan Ramsey x F!MC, Tobias Carrick x F!MC

When Husbands Become Prey 2: They Know What's Coming - @jerzwriter  Bryce Lahela x F!OC, Ethan Ramsey x F!MC, Tobias Carrick x F!MC

When the Time is Right - @jerzwriter   A typical night with friends at Donahue’s takes a turn when Casey show’s up with her date. How will Tobias respond when forced to face his feelings, and how will their friendship be impacted?

Whodunnit? - @jerzwriter ☁ Casey's on maternity leave and enjoying a quiet day at home with her family - until there's a little mystery to solve.

Whose Is It? - @alj4890  There's one too many mugs in this office. Feat. Ethan Ramsey

With Pride - @jerzwriter 🏳‍🌈 Casey & Tobias touch base after an eventful dinner with his extended family, and Tobias has a surprise for Casey in advance of them attending their first Pride parade as a couple.

Worth the Wait - @jerzwriter  Tobias waits on Casey as she gets ready for their date... can they keep their relationship under wraps for now?

You Heard, What! - @alj4890  When Tobias overhears something interesting, he goes directly to the one person he can tease.

You’re On - @jerzwriter   Tobias needs his good friend Casey to help him pull off a fib, but is she willing to help? And, at what cost?

You’re On...Again - @jerzwriter   Tobias & Casey successfully convinced his visiting mother and aunt that they were a couple. They did so well, he's asking for her help again.

_

SUBMIT OPEN HEART FICS & WRITERS HERE

[hardman5509]

A Gift For Keine

@touhousecretsanta

Howdy there @kikuhan I’m your Touhou Secret Santa, and I got a story for ‘ya! This one goes around your request in a roundabout fashion, but I figured something different would be more interesting.

I don’t know much about PC-98 characters (outside of the obvious ones), so I stuck with the ones I knew about. Hope you enjoy it!

Living out in the middle out of nowhere did have a massive downside to that. Mokou didn't have money. She generally lived off things that she could find lying around...or stealing. She had a habit of stealing a whole lot, even more as of late due to the growing number of powerful individuals coming to Gensokyo. It seems like there's someone new coming in every other day.

Back on topic, Mokou didn't have any money of her own. And she wanted to get something for...that holiday...that green-haired girl that lived at that mountain shrine raved all about at this time of year. Christmas, right? It's weird, but people were getting into it. Even more with the humans. They loved it! They would gather around in the middle of the village, surrounding a large tree, and decorate it. They would also go out and give each other gifts...

And that's the part that has Mokou worried. No money, no gift. And she really wanted to pay Keine back.

It was Keine that introduced her to the holiday in the first place after all. Keine spent most of her time working with the humans, and while she did initially criticize the event, she did end up accepting it. Mokou had noticed it, along with Keine's own problems. Keine had been greatly affected by all of the new people that made Gensokyo their home, as that meant she would have to work longer and harder to protect the Humans. Whenever she came by to visit, Keine just seemed to be out of energy, always tense, and more ready to snap.

“Sorry.” Keine would then apologize. “It's just...”

Mokou knew that Keine really needed a break. And that would be impossible, Keine didn't really trust anyone that's not human. Mokou...technically still counts as one, but Keine just refused to allow her to take over. So getting her to take a break isn't going to be what Mokou is going to get her, she's going to get her a gift that would help Keine relax!

And in fact, that weirdo shopkeeper is selling something from the other world that might help with that. It's a machine that massages your feet; that sounded perfect for someone like Keine. Mokou puffed out her chest as she started to look around for somewhere she could get some money, and fast. The Human Village is out of the question however, she didn't want to tip Keine off to her plans. Shrine-duty isn't going to pay her anything, let alone if she decides to go and work with Reimu.

...so that left...

“Huh.” Eirin mused out as she looked over the annoyed-looking Mokou. “I guess I could pay you for help, but I'm more concerned that you will just start a fight with the princess...”

“I don't care about the princess, I just need the money.” Mokou interrupted. Eirin responded by tossing a pill that was nearby at Mokou's head. Mokou just let the tiny thing bounce off her forehead. “I need the money for a Christmas gift.”

“Really?” Eirin tilted her head. “Just a Christmas gift? Wouldn't you like to have money all the time? I mean, I could use some real help around here, and if you had more money, you could leave the forest behind...”

“Just a Christmas gift.”

“Okay.” Eirin grunted. “I guess if you just want some spending money, I can hire you on as a janitor.”

“Done, deal, where's the mop, I'll go ahead and clean up.” Mokou breathed out as she jumped up to her feet.

“I don't need anything cleaned right now.” Eirin followed suit. “When I ask for you...“

“Break-time? Break-time.” Mokou spoke out and pulled out one of the few things she has left, a pack of cigarettes. A commodity of the other world, and yet damn expensive here in Gensokyo. She's lucky to get even one packet like this and she had to trade some herbs she found in her part of her woods to get them...

And Eirin snatched them and then promptly tossed them into the trash bin. “You're working in a medical facility, smoking is only allowed outside.” Eirin told. Mokou almost felt tempted to go ahead and just leave...but it's either this or working at a shrine. And yet, the endless and repitive nature of shrine work would probably allow her to take a drag every now and then...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mokou had another surprise awaiting her when she went outside. Marisa! Mokou's entire body started to tense up upon seeing that walking bundle of chaos. Marisa waved. “Yo, firebug!”

“Hey.” Mokou replied as she looked away. “What brings you around these parts?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” Marisa wagged a finger at Mokou. “Isn't this the place you regularly trash in your eternal revenge against Princess Lazyass?”

Mokout did have to stifle a little laugh. That does accurately portray Kaguya. “Got a job here, janitorial. Need money, end of story.”

“Oh, really?” Marisa raised a eyebrow at that. “Same actually! I need some mad money for a little project coming up, and Eirin is hiring all sorts of people right now.” Marisa put her hands behind her back, starting to rock and back forth on her feet. “So, what did you have to bribe her with in order to get a job? I had to give away some of my best mushrooms.”

“I went in and asked.”

“Really?” Marisa groaned. “Just like that? I think I have just been bamboozled...” She paused for a second, before looking around the area that Eientei is situated in. The Bamboo Forest. Marisa pointed at a wall of bamboo and laughed, in the same manner as a little girl would have. Mokou pursed her lips and sat down on the steps. “C'mon, you have to admit that was kinda funny...”

“Sure, real riot.” Mokou sighed. “Look, I just want money for a Christmas gift. I don't want any trouble or shenanigans...”

“Doubtful you're going to be avoiding those, the latter sort.” Marisa pointed out. “Tewi has set traps everywhere. She might be setting them up right now as we speak. Probably putting around our main areas of work. We could be taking out the trash, and boom!” She made her hands flutter around. “Down we go into a traphole!”

“Pfft.” Mokou blew out. “I'm used to that little idiot's traps. If we just fly around, we can avoid her pitfalls.” Mokou did a little demonstration as she started to float up. “See? This will be easy...”

“Alright, we can totally do that.” Marisa nodded, pulling her broom out of nowhere. “Of course, with my broom, I can carry more than you can.” She tapped on the broom. “So, you feel like a little competition? I don't think that Eirin can pay us equally, so she's going to shell out the big bucks to the best worker...”

“I just need the money.” Mokou told, swiping her hands around in the air. “Even if you are paid twice of what I make, I don't care. Once I get enough to afford the item, I'm leaving.”

“C'mon...” Marisa cooed as she got right up next to Mokou. Mokou groaned and flinched at being so close towards Marisa. “Surely you got the spirit of competition about you. You are plenty fiery after all...” She bumped an elbow into Mokou's shoulder. Mokou let out a small snarl. “Don't you want to earn so much money at once that you can quit early?”

“Leave me be.” Mokou told as she gently pushed Marisa off to the side. Marisa took it well and giggled like the little imp she is. Mokou decided to take her break elsewhere, you know, anywhere that's not here. Mokou figured the best place to be would to be behind the big barn like building. Possibly the place that Eirin keeps all of her victims, the results of her experiments...or both!

Still, possibly a good and shady spot. Mokou walked on over to the barn and then down into a large pit. The mocking laughter of a little rabbit girl following soon after. Mokou just took a deep breath and focused on staying calm. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At least she got to work on the inside after that. Sweeping around, cleaning dishes, and properly cleaning up lab equipment is all boring work. But it keeps her away from Marisa, Kaguya isn't bugging her as she's sleeping off an all-nighter of games,  and possibly from Tewi. No telling if Tewi has somehow managed to booby-trap the inside of Eientei, and the other people living here had jut gotten used to it and knew where the traps were.

Except Reisen. She never learned.

Mokou walked over the fallen Reisen and back into the main lab. “Swept all the dust away.” She told onto Eirin.

“Good, good.” Eirin sighed as she scrawled out a quick note. “Now, I got a important task for you.” She pulled out a wrapped package. “This is a easy one. I need you to deliver this to the Hakurei shrine. You should know where that is, right?” Mokou nodded. She had been there a few times before, and it's not like a hard place to find. It's just that nobody in the right mind would go and visit it without a decent reason to do so.

“So Reimu afforded something?” Mokou asked as she took the package in hand. She knew better to try and shake it.

“Oh no.” Eirin shook her head. “It's for Suika. She can actually afford me.”

“How?”

“I don't ask questions, and I accept payment first.” Eirin held up a finger. “Now, get going. I might not have a time limit on deliveries, but I am considering it in the future. So uphold my future reputation.”

Mokou sniffed as she exited out of the room with the package in hand. This should be easy. Just fly on out to the Hakurei Shrine, slap the package into Suika's face and get back to Eientei in time for payday. Hopefully payday and not more work. Mokou would like to get paid and leave. Still, this chore has to be more interesting and less annoying than menial labor, right?

“Hey, whatcha got there?”

Mokou groaned as she stepped away from a curious-looking Marisa. “Package. Special delivery. Need to get going.” She explained.

“What's inside, and who's it for?” Marisa questioned as she peered all around the package, somehow managing to keep up with Mokou moving it. “Hold on, I think I see a name...the shrine, huh?” Marisa's expression changed upon seeing the name of the location; going from curiosity to something like a blank stare. “What did Reimu order?”

“None of your business, got to go!” Mokou growled as she spun around, tucking the package underneath her armpit and scurrying on outside.

“Wait up!” Marisa called out, summoning her broom out of nowhere and starting to chase after Mokou. “If it's going to the shrine, you should let me do it! I know the people there a lot better than you! And I'm faster than you too...”

“Don't you got something else going on?” Mokou shouted back as she hopped off the stairs and took flight. “Like sweeping or something?”

“Oh, it's nothing! It can wait!” Marisa shouted back as she continued to give chase. She sounded actually concerned. That's a oddity to hear coming from Marisa. What about this package is so bloody important to her? Mokou would...not care to ask, nor really care about Marisa in the first place. Besides, if Marisa is so insistent on following her around, than that means she would most likely lose her job for abandoning her post...

...which will mean that Mokou will have more work to do. Oh dear.

“Hey Marisa!” Mokou called back, almost letting a little bit of panic enter into her voice. “If you get fired for following me around, than that means I will get the higher pay!”

“It's okay, it's okay!” Marisa called back. “I just think it's more important that I deliver this package, and hey, there's got to be more jobs for me out there! Really, just let me deliver the package to Reimu!” Marisa started to pick up speed, zooming dangerously close to Mokou's side. Mokou let out a sharp yelp as she quickly darted off to the side, heading back into the woods.

“All this over a package?” Mokou called out as she dipped around the various trees. “C'mon...”

Her little speech about why Marisa is throwing away her job was crudely interrupted by a even cruder trap. A log about the same size of Mokou came crashing right into her face. Mokou groaned as she fell down onto the floor of the forest into a crumpled mess, for all of a second right before she fell through the floor and into one of Tewi's pitfalls.

“Ohmygosh!” Marisa spat out as she safely landed next to the pitfall. “Is the package okay?” Mokou groaned and feebly held up the package, somehow remaining intact despite having been through three impacts. “Thank goodness!” Marisa chuckled as she took the package and soared up into the sky.

...oh right. Tewi. Everyone in Gensokyo can fly. Of course the trap-loving smart-ass would build trap in accordance with that specific trait. Why did Mokou assume that going through Tewi's stomping grounds would work out in her favor? She crawled out of the pit as fast as she could and started to go after Marisa. No doubt that Marisa would head in the direction of the shrine!

And this time she's going to avoid the forest entirely by flying over it.

“Shrine dead-ahead!” Marisa called out as she noticed the big and obvious shrine dead-ahead of her. “Alright shrine maiden, get ready to meet the sexiest, most brilliant, delivery-girl in all of Gensokyo!”

“Dead is correct!” Mokou snarled as she reached on out and grabbed Marisa by the shoulder, managing to toss the witch off her broom. “I'm not going to let you to get away with leaving me behind!”

“Woah!” Marisa shouted out as she did a barrel-roll around in the air, managing to readjust herself in the air. “Watch the package, watch the package!” Marisa shuddered as she clutched the package close to her chest as she rolled around in the air, hoping to somehow avoid Mokou coming after her. At least Mokou cannot bring out spellcards or her famous kicks without endangering the package.

“Just hand the package back to me!” Mokou shouted as she grabbed Marisa by the shoulders, intending to give Marisa a little demonstration of what falling to Earth feels like. Marisa screamed as the big green earth beneath her started to get bigger right before she impacted through the ground, leaving a Marisa-shaped crater in their wake.

“Mine, mine!” Mokou screamed as she wrestled the package out of Marisa's hands. “Now to complete the delivery...”

“Ahem.”

Mokou pulled herself out of the ground and found herself looking at the shoes of someone stomping said shoes against the ground. “I believe you just marred my grounds...” The person spoke, while rapping a certain wooden stick against the palm of their open hand.

“Ah.” Was the last thing that Mokou got to say before she canned in the head by a big orb with the Yin-Yang symbol on it.

“Oh, Reimu!” Marisa waved out of the hole as Reimu dragged the now unconscious Mokou out of the Marisa hole, allowing Marisa to drag herself out of it. “I got a package here for you...”

“Didn't order anything.” Reimu told as she let Mokou flop on down to more solid ground. “You sure you were supposed to deliver to me?” Marisa pointed to the package, still wrapped up in Mokou's hands. Reimu went on over and gently tugged it out of Mokou's clutches. “Huh, it is for the shrine...”

“Hey, my thingie arrived!” Suika cheered out as she came out of nowhere and took the package. “About time too...” She looked around, noticing both Reimu and Marisa. “Hey, now, this is a surprise...” She giggled out as clutched the package close to her chest. “You gots to wait for it, Rei...”

“What is she on about?” Reimu questioned.

“Wish I knew.” Marisa shrugged. “Hey, Reimu...” Marisa put her hands behind her back and stood right besides Reimu. “You got a nice...haircut? Right?”

“Marisa.” Reimu firmly stated.

“Hey, just making small talk.” Marisa held up her hands. “I best return to my work, along with my...” She strolled on over to the still unconscious Mokou and managed to hoist her on up onto he shoulder. “Co-worker here...”

“I hope you two are willing to come on back here and fix the damage...”

“Her, not so much. Me?” Marisa put her fee hand onto her chest. “Absolutely! Later Reimu!” Marisa whistled, and her broom suddenly zoomed on over to her, where she threw Mokou onto the broom and then she flew off. Reimu shook her head as she watched Marisa fly off. Besides the obvious wishes of Marisa not stealing stuff and her not destroying property, Reimu just wished that Marisa would just go ahead and confess her love.

When even Cirno can recognize it, you know you got some serious issues. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Package delivered madam!” Marisa saluted, with the still dazed Mokou doing the same.

“I recall only sending one of you to go and deliver it...” Eirin commented on. “But as long as you did your chores on the outside, I don't mind if you go together...”

“Oh those.” Marisa shrugged. “They could wait...”

“Marisa.” Eirin firmly interrupted, her eyes going a bit wide. “I asked you to go and dispose of some chemical waste...you did go and did that, right...?”

“MISS, THERE'S A GIANT SLIME MONSTER OUTSIDE AND IT WANTS TO EAT ME!”

“Marisa, you're fired.” Eirin pointed towards Marisa. “Help me kill the slime monster and I'll at least pay you. Mokou, help me kill it and you can keep your job.”

“Guess I don't have much of a choice here.” Marisa shrugged. She pulled out of her Mini-Hakkero, giggled exactly like the mad woman she is, and ran outside, accidentally smacking Mokou in the face. This at least got Mokou to return to being mostly 'sane'. Eirin clapped her hands, and that got Mokou to scramble on outside.

As the three got outside, they found Reisen being pummeled around by a giant slime monster. It had wrapped a tentacle around Reisen's waist and is now treating her like a hammer and there's nails everywhere that needed to punched in. Reisen's usual sort of moans and groans echoed throughout the area.

“We need to stop the creature before it escapes out of the forest.” Eirin told as she notched an arrow into her bow. “Lethal measures permitted, just try to avoid damaging Eientei.”

“MISS!” Reisen cried out as she got, rather luckily, tossed aside by the creature. Extra lucky that she got sent through the roof of Eientei, and not into the bamboo forest where she could have been impaled by the bamboo or land into a nest of some nasty creature that would have stung her a million times. Kaguya, on the other hand, will just pelt her with a newspaper a dozen times.

“I'll give it a nice bath, with my magic! Master Spark!” She fired off her trademark (stolen) attack right at the center of the mass, causing the slime to bubble and boil, but remain still. “Hey, now it smells awful!” Marisa groaned as she had to stop attacking to press on her nose.

“It's made out of various amounts of chemical waste that came from my results in my lab experiments.” Eirin groaned as she fired off an arrow, aiming at where she noticed the biggest globs of concentration within the slime, assuming it to be the nucleus of the being. The arrow didn't even make it halfway through it before the slime dissolved it. “So don't burn it! The fumes coming off it would be toxic to even youkai!”

Mokou looked down to see her hands a-flamed. “Welp, might as well take a break then...” She sighed before Eirin put a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her from going anywhere. “What, you want me to kick it?”

“Better than nothing!” Eirin motioned her head on over to the slime, with Marisa flying around it and hitting it with non-hot lasers. She didn't look to be having much fun. “If you and Marisa can punch a hole into it, leading to that big discolored blob in the middle, I can hit it with an arrow and kill it!”

“Oh, eew...” Mokou sighed. “Fine. But I am getting paid for this right?”

“Well, this is part of your job, cleaning up messes, ain't it?” Eirin chuckled as she notched another arrow. “Just get me to the core!” Mokou nodded as she ran forward to the really foul looking monster. She figured a little fire wouldn't hurt anything, just as long as she keeps it concentrated into a single kick. Just enough to give the kick a little more kick...

Great, now she sounds like Marisa.

Spinning around, and with fire surrounding her right leg, Mokou kicked through the slime. “That's it!” Eirin told. “Almost there...”

“Let me finish this in style!” Marisa called out as she zipped on down to Mokou's level and unleashed another powerful beam, aiming where Mokou had kicked in before. It did punch through a little bit more, but then Mokou and Eirin noticed the smoke coming from the gap...

“Marisa?” Eirin coughed out. “Did I tell you to not use fire?”

“I thought it would be...” Marisa coughed in return. “...fine, now...”

“How...” Mokou hacked out. “...did you get to live this long?”

“Well...” Marisa giggled, throwing in a small cough. “Good luck, good friends and good looks mostly...”

“Ugh!” Eirin grunted as she pulled a gas mask out of her pouch and slapped it onto her face. “I should just bought the mushroom off you!”

“Wait, what?” Marisa asked, her voice now clear of any congestion. “I could have gotten more?”

“I only agreed to let you have the job as it would be easier to keep you around than have you run around as free as you want!” Eirin told as she grabbed a second mask and slapped it onto the reeling Mokou. “Plus it would cost me less to pay you a minimum wage than to pay out for that rare mushroom!”

“Well, I don't feel like helping you out anymore.” Marisa crossed her arms. “Seeing how now you owe me a greater deal of mon...”

The slime monster decided to go for the easier target of the standing witch and continue its favorite game of 'hammer girl'. Bad sexual innuendo aside, Marisa got the usual Reisen treatment and got pummeled around for a bit before being sent flying off. Unlike Reisen however, Marisa actually remembered she could fly and managed to tuck herself into recovering in the air.

“Hey, I ain't no comic relief character!” Marisa groaned. “That's it, you want some real power?” She pulled out her Mini-Hakkero and aimed it down towards the slimeball. “How about a real big Master Spark?” Energy started to gather around into the mini-generator, making the air buzz with heat “I'll eradicate you with one good shot, 'ze jerk!”

“We should run.” Mokou thumbed behind her.

“I don't think that's going to help much...” Eirin sighed.

“LOVE SIGN: MASTER SPARK!” Marisa shouted, unleashing a full strength blast of rainbow energy out of her hands, with the creature caught right in the middle of the explosion. Good news? The beam nor the shockwave of it ended up damaging Eientei, and hey, it destroyed the slime creature. Bad news is that instead of disintegrating the creature, it splattered gloriously and gore-ly all over Eientei.

“On second thought, you were right.” Eirin remarked as took off her gas-mask. At least that prevented her from getting gunk in her mouth.  “Where's Marisa now?”

“Running off.” Mokou told as she looked up, seeing Marisa quickly darting away.

“Oh well, don't have to pay her then.” Eirin shrugged. “Tell you what.” She pointed on over to Mokou. “Clean this up and I'll double...”

“Triple.”

“Triple your payment.” Eirin sniffed as she swiped her hands of the goo, sending it flying on over to Mokou's face. “See you in about three hours.” Eirin groaned as she went back inside.

Mokou looked all over the area. The slime is covering everything. And she meant everything. The trees, the bamboo, the roof, the side of the building, the floor, her and the returning Reisen. She just groaned and went back inside. Mokou wondered if she could possibly burn the slime away, but being someone with a brain, she remembered that the slime would produce some toxic fumes if she tried to burn it.

She located the mop and water bucket. It too was covered in slime.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took six hours, but Mokou had managed to clean up most of the slime. At least all of the stuff that's within general view. Surely the scant amounts of slime wouldn't turn into anything. They would just fade away at some point. Mokou got her tripled payment and got away from that crazy place. She didn't want to stick any longer than she had to. No telling what would happen next. There could be a explosion, someone from the moon...

She got the money, she got what she came for, time to get that gift (and some smokes now that she had some money to spend) and wait for Christmas day. This gave Mokou time to really calm down after all of that crazy nonsense that had gone down at Eientei. And then came...

Christmas time! Snow had started to fall, people were wearing all sorts of festive wear that made Mokou's eyes hurt a bit, and Keine could finally get a break from teaching/defending the humans to relax. The perfect time to present her gift! Mokou ran on over to Keine's house with the package in hand.

“Yo, Keine!” Greeted Mokou as she just invited herself in.

“I would appreciate if you would at least knock first.” Keine sighed as she put down her pen. “So, what's up?”

“I got a gift for you!” Mokou told as she held out her wrapped-up gift. “I worked hard for it.”

“Oh, Mokou...” Keine immediately relaxed and put a hand on her chest as she saw the crudely-wrapped up gift. “You really got this for me? That's so sweet, but you really didn't have to...”

“Nah I wanted to.” Mokou shook her head. “You work so hard for...peanuts? That's the word they use, right? What I mean you do a lot for little...”

“It's only right I chose this life.” Keine sighed as she stood up. “Because someone has to.”

“And because you don't trust anyone else to do it?”

“Look, I keep on seeing other powerful people squander what they have on such...ridiculous things.” Keine sniffed. “Reimu would rather sit around the shrine all day and invite in youkai than to tend the needs of humans. Marisa does her own thing all the time. And I do not dare to ask of the youkai or the other individuals affiliated with youkai...”

“Like Sakuya?”

“Her loyalty to her mistress means that she will prioritize gathering of blood over protection.” Keine scoffed. “There's just not so many people around that I can entrust the protection of humans over.”

“Then why not me?” Mokou asked holding the present close to her chest. “My immortality means I can keep it going for a long time...” She drew in a long breath as she ended up stumbling around with her words. “Well...” She breathed out. “You know. That thing.”

“It is something that I will not ask of you.” Keine shook her head. “Maybe once I do pass away, but while I live, it is my burden. Asking a friend, let alone you, is not something I can ask of you.”

“Let alone?”

“Oh, you know...” Keine chuckled as she looked away rather shyly. “Someone...like you. Someone to enjoy Christmas with.” She walked on over to a mini-icebox, opened it up, and pulled out a bottle of what looked to be a good vintage of sake. “So, how about it? You want to spend a night with me? Just you, me and this bottle of sake?”

“Yeah...yeah.” Mokou sighed. “That would be great. I got nothing else going on...”

Keine breathed out as she went on over to her couch, sake in hand. She sat down and patted the seat next to her. Mokou put a small smile as she sat on down right next to Keine. Mokou wasn't ready for the next bit of Keine resting her head onto her shoulder. Mokou's cheeks flared up and she felt the need to play with her collar. Room got a bit too hot for her liking.

“Oh yeah.” Mokou found a small way out of this. “Your gift. You wanna open it?”

“Might as well!” Keine giggled as she took the gift and tore through it.

“So you like it? It can massage you, so you can...”

“Eeerr, Mokou? This is a massager...”

“Something wrong? Not the right size for you?”

“No, you see...this is for adult use.”

“But you are an adult.”

“...private adult time.”

“Oh. Oh.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Merry Christmas Reimu!”

“I don't celebrate it.”

“I got you something for free, ze?”

“Ah. So you did.”

“Really awesome, isn't it?”

“I don't know, Suika got me the same thing as well.”

“Oh.”

“...look, if you want to bang, just ask nicely.”

“Ah.”

[shreddedleopard]

A Christmas Wish & A Birthday Gift (Merry Birthday, Captain!)

Summary:

Historia intends to give the Orphans of Paradis a Christmas treat, and manages to convince Levi to assist her. In the process, the Captain ends up with a little treat of his own. Pure Christmas Fluff. Rivahisu, but not overbearingly so.

AO3

Fanfiction.net

Or read in full below.

“Your Majesty, with all due respect, it’s Christmas Day tomorrow.”

Zackley’s rumbling tone cut through the meeting room in the military HQ of Mitras. He sat at one end of a long table, flanked either side by members of the government and higher military. At the other sat the Queen, with Levi at her side. The topic of discussion was the delivery of food and gift donations to the children of the underground. The scouts had worked their asses off gathering it all; now they just needed a little help from the other branches to get it down there. So far it was proving difficult to secure said help. 

“Yes, correct, Premiere. I’m well aware of that. Which is why this proposal is so important.”

Levi was silent as he watched Historia speak beside him, eyes burning brightly. He crossed his arms, waiting for the protests from the brass to continue. He’d warned her this would happen, but she didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. 

Good. Neither was he.

“But how many children are there in the Underground? It would take a significant number of personnel to support the logistics of such an operation. You can’t really expect us to draft in that many MPs this late in the day? When they should be enjoying the festivities with their families tomorrow?”

Levi gnashed his teeth, uncrossing his arms to take a sip from the tea cup in front of him. Anything to stop himself biting out a response. Historia had asked him to let her handle things as much as possible. She wanted the opportunity to lead properly; he wanted to give it to her.

“We’re well aware of this fact, as you should have been a month ago when we first submitted the proposal for your review, Premiere. If you were familiar with it, you would also have seen that we have the support of the Special Operations squad and Captain Levi.” She gestured sideways to Levi, and he inclined his head. It was true, his squad had been more than willing to give up a few hours of their Christmas for her cause. Their cause. “As well as several other squads from the Survey Corps. They’re happy to assist with the deliveries tomorrow. The only support we need from the Military Police is the opening and manning of two stairways for a few hours. We’ve coordinated drop off points where children can collect the food and gifts that we’ve gathered, we simply need you to open up the Underground to the troops.”

Levi raised his brows as Zackley cleared his throat. He glanced sideways at Historia. Her cheeks were a little flushed, but she held that fierce look of determination she always got when she was dead set on something.

Nicely done.

She might not yet have the experience and wiliness of Erwin, but by nineteen, she had begun to mature into quite the negotiator. 

Nile Dok ran a hand over his face, before frowning at the table. “Your Majesty. I understand why you want to do this, but surely one day won’t make too much difference? Why don’t we arrange it for the day after tomorrow? A large number of the MPs based in the districts of the entry points do have families. They’ll want to spend the day with their children. Are we really going to take that away from them?”

Levi couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“Must be nice, to have a table full of food, and a family you can sit around it with while you all enjoy the day. Unlike -”

He felt Historia’s boot meet his shin under the table. He grunted in surprise, and she seemed happy to take the opportunity to cut in. 

“We understand. But it’s just a few hours; they won’t miss the whole day. We’ve coordinated everything to be as efficient as possible. Commander, we really need your help. The children need your help. Imagine a world where your own daughters couldn’t rely on the kindness of others should they ever be in a desperate situation. That is a world we wish to move away from.”

Well, shit. Perhaps she was more like Erwin than he gave her credit for.

Nile appeared to war with himself inwardly for a moment, his fingers stroking that pathetic wisp of hair on his chin. He sighed. “Alright. Fine. I’ll allocate the men. Providing the Premiere is happy, of course.”

Levi and Historia both looked over to Zackley, who was regarding them both shrewdly as he rested his bearded chin on clasped hands. “Well then. That’s settled. I think you both got what you came for.”

Levi felt Historia’s knee nudge his beneath the table, gently this time. He made to take another sip of his tea, hiding the way his lips twitched upwards behind the cup.

—

Historia practically skipped out onto the street as they headed for the carriage. “We did it!”

Levi climbed up into the cab after her, grumbling. “You’re the damn Queen. Shouldn’t have even needed to negotiate.”

She made a face at him as he settled into the seat at her side. “Stop being a grump. It’s Christmas Eve, and we’re going to make a lot of children a whole lot happier tomorrow!”

Huh. That was true, although it was going to take a whole lot more than a few turkey drumsticks and knitted scarves to solve the problems of the Underground. He didn’t voice this, though. He didn’t want to do anything to endanger the way she beamed in the moment.

—

Levi let her chatter on about the joys of Christmas as the carriage wheels clattered along the cobbled streets. For a kid that had been robbed of love in her youth, she sure seemed to have an abundance of it to pour out these days. One of the reasons he admired her so much. She told him animatedly how pretty the fir tree - the one his squad had felled - now looked, adorned with decorations in the playroom of the orphanage, and how the children had made Christmas cookies decorated with questionable looking snowmen, and how the holly she’d cut to lay across the banisters and mantlepieces had left her with several war-wounds. 

Levi gave a small tch at that, taking her soft hands in his rough. He inspected the small cuts with an arched brow. “Barely even a scratch, brat. Call yourself a soldier?”

“Not any more,” she elbowed his side with a grin.

Levi grunted, releasing her hand. “Fair.”

—

They were less than ten minutes away from the Orphanage in Orvud when she sprung the request on him.

“Are you shitting me?”

“Go on, please!”

“Zero chance, Your Majesty.”

Historia pouted at him as she held up the red suit and hat she’d miraculously produced from one of the packages they were supposedly delivering to the orphans in her care that evening.

“The children will love it! I won’t tell anyone.”

“Absolutely not.”

Historia sighed wistfully. “Alright. I should have known you’d be the same as Commander Dok when it comes to these sort of things.”

He turned his head to look at her, eyebrows raised in disbelief. She batted her lashes at him, still wearing that ridiculously will-shattering pout.

Oh, for fuck’s sake. 

“Give it here.” He yanked the suit from her hands, doing his best to ignore her little whoops of glee.

—

The fake cotton-wool beard itched his face like hell. How in the name of the three walls did people willingly not shave? Facial hair was disgusting.

The door to the playroom slid open slowly. 

“Surprise!” Historia exclaimed beside him, hands in the air. 

The children stared, round eyed. She elbowed him.

“Ho ho ho,” Levi muttered.

That seemed to do it. Dozens of tiny feet pattered against the floorboards as the brats flew at him with cries of ‘Santa!���

Amidst the chaos of being accosted by the group of frenzied children, Levi felt Historia’s warm hand slip into his own. She lead him and his band of followers over to an armchair by the fireplace.

“Sit.”

He did as he was told, although he tutted quietly beneath the beard.

Historia turned to the children while gesturing to Levi’s lap. “Who’s first?”

—

And so it went. Kid after kid, they all perched their bony little asses on his thigh, told him what good little brats they’d been all year long (which, quite frankly, was a pack of lies from most of them) and they got a red and white striped candy cane for their trouble, which Historia surreptitiously slipped him. He spoke as little as he could help it, merely giving hums of agreement or nods of his head.

If Erwin and Mike could see him now, they’d piss their pants, the pair of bastards. Thank fuck Hange wasn’t around.

“Tell anyone about this, and I’ll kick your ass.” He muttered, leaning toward Historia.

“A promise is a promise.” She muttered back, pressing her hip into his arm.

The final kid, and the biggest pain in Levi’s ass, was a boy named Freddie. They went through almost the whole charade without problem, until it got to the part where he was supposed to slide off Levi’s knee. He didn’t. He turned his pink little face, framed with dark curls, up at Historia, and yelled, “your turn!”

That set them all off. A horde of banshees, all screeching about how Historia also needed to sit on Santa’s lap, because she had been the ‘goodest girl of all.’

Levi would strangle every last one of them. But not tonight. It was almost Christmas, after all.

He didn’t look at her, but he could still see from the corner of his eye that she was the colour of the shitty suit he was wearing. Huh. Served her right for coming up with such a ridiculous idea. 

He patted his thigh, mirroring her earlier command. “Sit.”

Her ass was much less bony than the kids’, despite still being as petite as she was at fifteen. Her hand went to his shoulder to steady herself, and he felt the softness of her body as it sat flush to his.

Womanhood suited her.

He turned to meet her eye. The shared glance was momentary, before both had to look away. He could feel his own neck reddening now, too. He was finally grateful for the disgusting cotton-wool beard.

“What do you want?” He muttered.

She was staring resolutely out of the window. “What?”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Tch. For Christmas, brat. What do you want?”

“Oh.” She shifted in his lap, and he had to grit his teeth to keep from hissing at her to keep still. “Ah … well …”

“C’mon. Haven’t got all day - gifts to deliver, and shit.”

“Oi.” She jabbed him in the chest for his language. He grunted, poking her in the back to try to get her to hurry the hell up. 

“Alright. For Christmas, what I’d really like … is for someone not to spend their birthday alone. I’d … like to celebrate my … friend’s birthday, with them.”

Well, that was unexpected. He cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his surprise. “Oh. I see.”

Suddenly, one of the brats near the back piped up. “Captain Levi! She means Captain Levi!”

How the fuck?

He peered up at her beneath his oversized hat. “Seems like someone couldn’t keep their mouth shut,” he mumbled. “Sure you’ve been the goodest girl?”

Finally, she looked at him properly. Her mouth curved into an apologetic smile, cheeks still glowing. “Sorry. But we really would like you here, with us?”

Her words made his chest go tight.

“Santa is coming to spend Christmas with us, too?” An excited voice chirped.

Historia fumbled. “Captain Levi. I mean, we would like Captain Levi here!”

Levi hated his birthday. Historia had only found out about it by accident. But now, it seemed, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place as dozens of little, expectant eyes stared up at him and the pretty Queen sat upon his lap.

To hell with it, then.

“Mmm. Sure the Captain could stop by. I’ll ask him to make time in his busy schedule. He’s got some presents to deliver himself, first.”

Historia seemed to get the joke. She squeezed his shoulder gently.

“Thank you.”

Levi nodded once. “Fine. Now shift, brat. You’re heavy,” he lied. “I’ve a dead leg.”

—

It was far later than it should have been by the time he made it to the front porch, after having one too many Christmas cookies and glasses of eggnog thrust his way. It wasn’t even damn Christmas yet. Not for a few hours, at least.

He felt a tug on the back of his red suit. Oh, how he couldn’t wait to get this scratchy shit off of him in the carriage that was waiting at the end of the path.

“Hey.” He turned to find Historia staring at him, her cheeks rosy, but this time likely due to too much eggnog rather than embarrassment. “You were wonderful.”

“Shut up.” Despite himself, he could feel his mouth twitching upwards beneath his beard. Damn him.

“You can take the beard off now, you know. They’re all in bed.”

Right.

Levi ripped it from his face, eternally grateful to feel the cold evening air against his clean shaven skin. “That shit was irritating as hell,” he grumbled, shoving it into his pocket. He looked up to find Historia laughing at him. “Oi. It’s not funny.”

She quietened, although she was still smiling when she asked, “you will come tomorrow, won’t you? Afterwards. Once we’ve delivered everything. I won’t make a fuss, promise. I haven’t even got you a gift.”

Levi shoved both his hands in his pockets. “Good. Alright. Not like I have much choice now, is there? Apparently Santa is going to have a word with me.”

She laughed again, this time softer. “I’ll look forward to it. Goodnight, Captain.”

Levi inclined his head. “Night.” He turned, but before he could take another step, her voice halted him again.

“Wait -“

He rolled his eyes, sighing loudly in exasperation. “What now?”

Before he had chance to process what was happening, Historia was on the porch beside him, leaning on her tiptoes as she kissed his cheek. 

His eyes widened as she settled back to look at him. “Changed my mind; about the gift. Happy Birthday, Levi.”

Levi tried desperately to hang on to his trademark expression of boredom. He was well aware he failed miserably. “Huh. Not my birthday, yet.”

“Oh. Of course,” Historia gave him a shy grin. “True. I’ll have to give it you again, tomorrow, then.”

No longer sporting a cotton wool beard to hide his blush, Levi spun quickly around and marched down the path. He was sure Historia must know he was fighting a smile, though. 

[hegodamask]

Thanks to everyone who left a comment/message/’like’ about Bo the other day, it meant a lot. I’m still really heartbroken. I got all teary the morning after when I didn’t hear her barking outside like she usually would (I can’t believe I miss her annoying, high-pitched bark omfg) and when I thought about how I’m never gonna see her stand at the bottom of my bed with her little eyes looking up at me ever again. 

But despite all that, I’m in the mood to write down some things about her tonight. Mostly so I never forget them and but also maybe for anyone who has followed me for a while and seen me post pictures of her before. I know it’s kind of silly to be writing so much about a pet, but she was really special to me and my family. Not just because of her illness, but because she was so loving and unique and (I say this with love) crazy. But more on that later...

It wasn’t easy living with a dog like Bo sometimes. We bought her as a puppy expecting her to grow just a tiny bit bigger than our other dog, Leia. But really, considering the size of the pup’s mother and the length of her legs in proportion to her body, we should’ve known better. I’d never had a dog of her size and energetic temperament before, she probably could’ve benefited from an obedience course or something. A lady who used to work with my Mum bought a puppy from the same litter and apparently he jumped out of a bedroom window (and was completely unhurt!). 

So that was the kind of pup we were dealing with here: super strong, but also...nuts. It was a challenge looking after Bo once she’d grown up too because that’s when her seizures started. She would have so many and be very disorientated for hours after. She could get anxious at times and bark too, but she was never aggressive to other dogs or people. 

In fact, she loved to be close to people. She loved to sit in your lap or on your leg (or on your laptop, or on your homework..). That’s why I have so many selfies with her because she just loved to cuddle. Just the other week when my parents were on holiday, I let her sleep on my bed. I wanted her to just nap there at the bottom for part of the night, but instead I would wake up with her practically sleeping next to me! She would follow my Mum (or me if Mum wasn’t about) around the house a lot, nudging legs or trying to stand in between them. A few times, she would nuzzle my hand so I’d give her more pets. 

I say she was nuts, but she was really quite intelligent too. She could open doors in our house by jumping up and pulling the handle down, she knew how to manipulate you for more treats (like any clever dog should, I feel). But, like I said she wasn’t very obedient. I taught her to sit and to give me her paw for a handshake, I very nearly taught her to play fetch once but that was it. I think she preferred being chased anyway. She escaped from our house once, when I was at college and my parents were at work. My grandma was waiting in on a delivery for us, but she hadn’t closed the garden gates properly after my Mum drove out that morning. So Bo got out and went for a run around the neighbourhood. My grandma had no idea where she’d gone until the delivery man turned up and was like “do you have a black and brown dog? i’ve just seen it”. In the end, Bo was lured home by the delivery man armed with a sandwich. Little did my grandma know until they got back to the house that Leia had got out too! But Leia is more of a homebody, she was just sitting at the front of the house watching the chaos ensue. 

Other chaotic things Bo has done:

Stole the Christmas Turkey

Stole pizza from me (multiple times)

Got stuck in the living room blinds

Got stuck in the gap between the wall and my bed. Was too chunky to move.

Fell off the bed whilst asleep and kept on sleeping.

Somehow carried live hedgehogs into the house without hurting herself.

Scared away a burglar by barking so loud (with help from Leia)

Went AWOL once let off the lead and chased after a car.

And yet, we forgave her every time and loved her. I actually feel bad about every time I got annoyed with her now...I was looking forward to another five or six years of her goofy nonsense at the most, even if that still meant dealing with her seizures as well.

On the other hand, I think Bo was so strong and brave to go through so many seizures and live for as long as she did. I still don’t understand how she couldn’t come back from just one the other night after not having any for a good few months, but in a way I’m glad it wasn’t drawn out. She’s been buried in the garden with her favourite toys (santa claus plushies with the stuffing taken out) and a gravy bone biscuit to send her on her way.

Goodbye, Bo. You were such a good girlie and I miss you so much.

[ohalemalia]

MASTERLIST

SCOTT MCCALL

dating Scott McCall would include...

head canons for dating Scott McCall

character ask - Scott McCall

more head canons for dating Scott  McCall

Q&A 

Y/N is a YouTuber doing a Q&A when Scott walks in. Scott has a surprise for Y/N & their viewers. Fluff.

Daily Dose (multi-part fic) | Click Here for Mobile | Trailer | Playlists

Y/N is sick, that’s no secret. But sweet Scott McCall, her nurse’s son, might be hiding some secrets of his own. But who cares when being with him makes everything feel so much…better, even for a little bit. Angst, Fluff.

A Hot Uh-Oh (Holiday Themed)

“I really want to hang up the Christmas lights but I’m short and there’s no one else here, but you’re my neighbor and you’re also a lot taller than me.”

STILES STILINSKI

imagine skyping Stiles...

imagine calling Stiles...

Character Ask - Stiles Stilinski

Prove It  | Part Two | Part Three | Stiles Ending

Stiles asks his twin brother to pretend to be him on a date with his girlfriend. Yeah, it ends up as bad as you think. Fluff,  Angst.

Not Like This 

The Nogitsune teases Y/N about Stiles’ feelings for them. Wait? Stiles likes them back? This is news. Angst, fluff.

First Time with Stiles

A Special Delivery

Stiles and Y/N’s kid is curious about where babies come from, so the pack tries to explain it. Fluff.

Time (Holiday Themed)

Y/N spends Christmas at the Stilinski household and gets her boyfriend’s dad a special gift. This one will definitely get Y/N points as a future-in-law. Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Fluff.

STUART “STILINSKI” (Twin AU)

Prove It  | Part Two | Part Three | Stuart Ending

Stiles asks his twin brother to pretend to be him on a date with his girlfriend. Yeah, it ends up as bad as you think. Angst, violence, fluff.

VOID! STILES

Not Like This 

The Nogitsune teases Y/N about Stiles’ feelings for them. Wait? Stiles likes them back? This is news. Angst, violence, fluff.

THEO RAEKEN

Boy of My Dreams  | Part Two

Y/N has a nightmare about Theo Raeken. And then has to come face to face with him. Angst, violence, fluff-ish.

Over My Dead Body 

Y/N is being chased down by a monster when their best friend Theo Raeken comes to save them. But...Theo is a monster too? Angst, fluff.

Box of Memories (Holiday Themed)

After a break up,Theo comes over to bring Y/N some stuff back. Y/N wants him out asap but they end up getting snowed in together.

Ocean Eyes

Y/N has hydrokinesis abilities and keeps it a secret from everyone, but Theo somehow finds out.

Choices || Part Two

Scott and the pack try to leave Theo for dead and Y/N loses it.

All Alone (NEW)

Y/N is Theo sister, and is left all alone when he’s dragged into Hell. Literally. She’s been through enough, won’t Stiles and Scott just leave her the Hell alone? Fed up wit everything, she confronts them.

Imagine flirting with Theo just to make Liam upset (NEW)

Liam is like Y/N’s little brother, which makes teasing him even better. But she’ll need Theo’s help.

MALIA TATE

dating Malia Tate would include...

headcanons for dating Malia Tate

Secret Weapon

Malia has a crush on Y/N and doesn’t know how to express it. Fluff.

ISAAC LAHEY

The Truth 

Y/N, Scott’s cousin, comes into town and is hiding something. And her feelings for Isaac is just the tip of the ice berg.

dating Isaac Lahey would include...

headcanons for dating Isaac Lahey.

Character Ask - Isaac Lahey

more headcanons for dating Isaac Lahey

Good-Bye, My Santa Monica Dream

Y/N and Isaac makes plans for the future, but those plans are cut short when something goes horribly wrong.

Right Here 

Isaac is afraid to share a bed with Y/N because of his nightmares.

LYDIA MARTIN

being best friends with Lydia Martin would include...

dating Lydia Martin (and being a lil clingy) would include…

The Mulberry Tree 

Y/N could always count on Lydia to make them feel better. This is the story of the two times Lydia and Y/N met under the mulberry tree and the one time it changed their lives.

Secretly Dating Lydia Martin Would Include (NEW)

MCCALL PACK

A Special Delivery

Stiles and Y/N’s kid is curious about where babies come from, so the pack tries to explain it. Fluff.

Bi Bi Bi

The pack is confused about Y/N’s sexuality, so Y/N sets the record straight. (They’re not.)

And After All

Y/N, Scott, Stiles and Kira have a nice night around the campfire. Fluff.

DEREK HALE

In My Blood - Part One | Part Two 

Derek Hale is just starting to get used to having a semi-normal freaking life when she comes barreling into town, bringing a parade of chaos with her. She’s brass. She’s loud. She doesn’t take anyone’s shit. And she just might end up breaking her way into his life whether he likes it or not.

LIAM DUNBAR (NEW)

Imagine flirting with Theo just to make Liam upset (NEW)

Liam is like Y/N’s little brother, which makes teasing him even better. But she’ll need Theo’s help.

PREFERENCES

Parenting Headcanons

Taking Your Kid(s) to Disneyland (NEW)

[1-highscore]

New high score on Special Delivery: Santa's Christmas Chaos (Commodore 64) by Hi7ch 3,650 http://bit.ly/2SerKoN

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - A Fatal Twist

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Great Escapes Virtual Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

A Fatal Twist by Tracy Weber

…a funny story and the author does a wonderful job with the characters and scenes. ~Bab’s Book Bistro

A Fatal Twist (A Downward Dog Mystery) Cozy Mystery 4th in Series Midnight Ink (January 8, 2017) Paperback: 312 pages ISBN-13: 978-0738748788 E-Book ASIN: B01FOR0Z0I

Synopsis

Yoga instructor Kate Davidson’s life takes a chaotic turn once she agrees to not only be the doula for her pregnant best friend, but also play foster mother to two puppies. The chaos only gets worse when Kate finds the dead body of a philandering fertility doctor and Rachel, one of her yoga students, fleeing the scene.

Kate is convinced her student is innocent, and she sets out to find the real killer before her testimony condemns Rachel to a life behind bars. But her hands are full with caring for three dogs, teaching yoga classes, and gaining an unexpected crime-solving partner. If she’s not careful, Kate’s next yoga pose may be a fatal one.

CHARACTER INTERVIEW

Tracy: I’m delighted to be here on Pulp and Mystery Shelf today speaking with Kate Davidson, the yoga teacher/sleuth of my Downward Dog Mystery series and the protagonist of my most recent book, A Fatal Twist. Kate, why don’t you tell our readers about yourself?

Kate: Protagonist? Sheesh, Tracy. After the amount of time we’ve spent together during the past four years, I think of us as friends!

I’m a yoga teacher and the owner of Serenity Yoga in Seattle, Washington. I’ve lived in Seattle my entire life, and I’m a Pacific Northwest girl through and through. I’m also my 100-pound German shepherd’s devoted slave. Chasing after murderers is simply an unlucky sideline.

Tracy: Let’s talk about Bella. What’s it like owning a hundred-pound special needs German shepherd?

Kate: You think I own Bella? That’s funny! If anything, Bella owns me! I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that living with Bella is challenging, especially since she doesn’t like bearded men or other dogs. But Bella is the love of my life. She has changed my life, in every way for the better. I’d be lost without her.

  Tracy: Bella’s not the only one with an aversion to beards …

  Kate (laughing): Definitely not. Pogonophobia—the irrational fear of beards—has plagued me since I was a preschooler. As a child, I purposefully misbehaved so that Santa wouldn’t come to my house on Christmas Eve. I’m getting better, though, especially since I discovered my fear’s origins in Karma’s a Killer.

Tracy: Is there anything Bella would like to tell our readers?

Kate: Unfortunately, Bella understands a lot more English than I do German shepherd, so I’ll have to make some assumptions. But I think she’d tell people that even though she has Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency (a lifelong digestive disorder), she’s happy, feels great, and has an awesome life. She’d also encourage your human readers to adopt special needs animals.

As for your canine readers, she’d tell them to stay the heck away from her house, her yoga studio, and me. I’m her best-trained slave, and she’s not willing to share me.

And I know Bella would have this special message for the brown-suited, box-carrying psycho-killer that drives the UPS truck:  “I have my eye on you. One false move and I’ll be having delivery man for dinner.”

Tracy: I’ll bet she would. Thanks for taking time to join us today, Kate. I’d tell you to stay out of trouble, but we both know that will never happen. So I guess I’ll just say, have fun!

Kate: You too, Tracy. I’d like to put in a plug for you before I leave. I know how much you love connecting with readers. So if you’re reading this post, you can keep in touch with Tracy by sending her an email at Tracy@WholeLifeYoga.com. She’d love to hear from you!

    About The Author

Tracy Weber is the author of the award-winning Downward Dog Mysteries series featuring yoga teacher Kate Davidson and her feisty German shepherd, Bella. Tracy loves sharing her passion for yoga and animals in any form possible. Her first book, Murder Strikes a Pose won the Maxwell Award for Fiction and is a 2015 Agatha award nominee for Best First Novel.

Tracy and her husband live in Seattle with their challenging yet amazing German shepherd Tasha. When she’s not writing, Tracy spends her time teaching yoga, walking Tasha, and sipping Blackthorn cider at her favorite ale house.

 Author Links

http://tracyweberauthor.com/

http://www.wholelifeyoga.com/blog/

https://www.facebook.com/tracywe

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7148442.Tracy_Weber

https://twitter.com/TracyWeberTypes

Purchase Links Amazon B&N

BLOG TOUR – A Fatal Twist was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf

[retrocgads]

UK 1987

[retrocgads]

UK 1985

[1-highscore]

New high score on Special Delivery: Santa's Christmas Chaos (Commodore 64 Emulated) by ILLSeaBass 5,550 http://ift.tt/2iVolc1