#speaking of the harry thing though also I saw someone being like he got shit for dancing at nialls concert when harry did the same fkn thin
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statementlou · 1 month ago
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forgive me if this is too serious for an anon ask.. feel free to ignore it..
but this week shook me in ways i didnt see coming. i wasnt a one direction fan growing up.. tbh im still not, i listen to only a few songs. im same age as louis. so, i found one direction through him.
i have great affection for all of the boys though. and even in my short time in fandom, i've always been surprised and saddened by the bullying liam has gotten.. he just always seemed like a good person with really poor communication skills. to understand his point, you had to give him some space and context.
but this year has been a constant worried watch over liam. it was so plain things were desperate.
stan twitter got to me so bad that i left twitter the day louis' tour ended. so i was very peripherally aware of his recent harassment, but i did worry.
and now the unimaginable has happened, i am just at loss. not just in the sense of how to make sense of this loss, but also the complete lack of empathy for him still? even for other boys' fans.?? after they've seen how all of the boys' are hurting?
and just in the bigger picture.. how is this real? what loving god/higher power/whatver has allowed this to be the state of the world? he was so kind, so generous, just a boy. JUST A BOY. just trying to find a place to fit and feel safe. why was he dealt such cruelty? just while he was pursuing something he loved? something he was gifted with? in life and in death?
im just at loss. heartbreak doesnt even begin to cover it.
for me I've felt it was a constant worried watch over Liam for many years now, but other than that, yeah. It's hard to feel hope or faith in the face of so much senseless cruelty and pointless loss; all I can say is I would hope the millions of people who are shocked and saddened by this take away something lasting both about the fact that there are real people on the other side of the computer screen and cruelty has a real impact, and that addiction can afflict anyone. Nothing can make this other than tragic and regrettable forever; but I would love to see the amazing power of fandom mobilized to support programs for addicts and to fight stereotyping and dismissing of people who use drugs in Liam's name. To see people use this as a realization to really understand that it wasn't strange or exceptional that someone talented and worthwhile could succumb to addiction and ultimately die of it, but rather a plague that our society is allowing to run unchecked because of stigma. IDK, maybe I'm just grasping at straws trying to find something remotely positive that could come out of this situation but what else can you do? It's just so sad.
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hjparisian · 2 years ago
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speak now or forever hold your peace- harry j potter x reader
p: harry j potter x reader (she/her pronouns) w: not proofread, bit of swearing, mean ginny (it's for the plot i swear i love her shes so slay) a/n: in honor of speak now tv being announced (and exams being over) i decided to write this lil thing. pls note i have not been to a wedding so excuse how its written.
It was the day that (Y/N) was dreading the most. Harry and Ginny's wedding day. She was honestly shocked that she was even invited, though she assumes it was cause of Harry. Though she was friendly with the Weasley's, she was never really close with Ginny.
(Y/N) and Harry briefly dated during fourth year but decided to remain friends. But the feelings never really left (Y/N). Even after she saw him go after Cho and Ginny, there was always a part of (Y/N) that would always love Harry.
She was debating on just staying home, wallowing in pity while eating her favorite ice cream and watching whatever was on the telly. But (Y/N) knew that Harry wanted her to go, and she couldn't ignore her best friend's wishes.
So now here she was, at the venue in a lavender colored dress, deciding if she should just run away now. As she ready to back out, she heres a voice calling her name.
"(Y/N)!"
(Y/N) turns around and sees Harry walkings towards her with a grin on his face. Well, fuck. So much for escaping.
"Hey Harry." She responds, forcing a smile on face. He looks good, she thought. He was wearing a black suit, white shirt underneath the jacket. Even though it was simple, he made it look beautiful.
"I didn't think you'd come," Harry says sheepishly. (Y/N) speaks, "Well I couldn't miss my best friends wedding. Also, I didn't think you'd let me stay home." Harry chuckles at that.
"So," (Y/N) started. "How are you feeling? It's your big day after all."
"In all honesty, I'm really nervous," He says. "I just have a feeling that maybe this isn't right." (Y/N) was shocked at that part.
"What do you mean? Isn't this what you've been wanting? You were crushing on Ginny since sixth year and now you got her."
Harry sighs. "I know, I know. But I can't help but think that it should've someone else. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have done this."
Someone else? As much as (Y/N) wanted to know who he was thinking, it wasn't important. "Harry, the Weasleys would probably kill you if you called off the wedding. Besides, it's probably just nerves like you said, so don't let it get to you."
"But I can't get this feeling to go away," Harry says. "I think it would be just as bad if I were to marry Ginny while thinking about someone else than calling off the wedding.
He examines (Y/N), eyes flicking from her lips to her eyes. "(Y/N), I think I-"
"Harry!" The two turn to see who it was, finding Hermione running towards the two. "Oh hello, (Y/N)!" She smiles before turning back to Harry. "Do you know where Ginny's bouquet is? We can't find it. Oh, and Ron thinks he's lost the rings. Ginny and Mrs. Weasley have gone mad and won't stop yelling."
Harry lets out a groan, "I better go figure this out. (Y/N) I'll catch you in a bit." He runs off, leaving (Y/N) and Hermione alone.
Hermione turns to look at (Y/N) before speaking. "How are you feeling?"
"If I'm being honest Hermione. I feel like shit," (Y/N) complained.
Hermione was always there for (Y/N) and vice versa. She was there when (Y/N) and Harry first got together and when they ended it. She watched as (Y/N) gazed at Harry with Ginny during sixth year. Hermione knew that (Y/N) still loved Harry.
"You know, I was kind of thinking it would always be you and Harry." Hermione said. "I think Ron did too. Don't get me wrong, Ginny is a good girl, but I could never really see her and Harry together."
(Y/N) spoke, "Well, I guess that's how it's gonna be. But Harry's not sure if he wants to go through with it. Says he feels like there's someone else. As much as I don't want to see Harry getting married to someone else, I don't want the Weasleys to hate him for calling it off." There seemed to be a flicker of realization through Hermione's eyes, seeming to piece some unknown puzzle together.
"(Y/N), have you ever thought that maybe he misses you? I saw the way he was looking at you when I was looking for him, and it's definitely not a way friends normally look at each other."
Before the two could say anything else, there was a faint "Hermione! Where are you?" Hermione sighed. "I should go back. But (Y/N), think about it, and think about what you want." She turns and runs off, leaving (Y/N) alone.
(Y/N) began to walk around the venue, not ready to sit down and anxiously wait for the worst thing to happen. "What do I truly want?" She thought. She certainly didn't want to see Harry marry Ginny. And is there really a chance he misses her?
While deep in her thoughts, she bumps into the man that she was thinking about. "Oh! I'm sorry Harry, I should've been looking," She says.
"It's alright (Y/N)." He smiles at her. "I should prolly get going though, you should too, the wedding is about to start." He starts to leave, but a hand grabs his wrist before he could keep going.
"Wait, Harry," (Y/N) says. "What if you don't go through with this? Let's just leave, we can sneak out the back door!"
"But (Y/N), you said-" (Y/N) cuts him off. "I know what I said, but you should follow your intuition. If there's really someone else you're thinking about, you can't marry Ginny!"
"It's too late-" "It's not too late Harry! You can still back out!"
"(Y/N) I-" There a voice that cuts him off.
"Hey, Harry!" It was Ron. "We gotta go mate, the weddings about to start."
"Oh right," Harry says. "(Y/N) I'll see you." He smiles sadly as both him and Ron leave.
(Y/N) decides to go inside and take her seat between two people she didn't know. It seemed like everyone in the world was here just for this one wedding. Well, it is the wedding of the Chosen One so, guess it makes sense.
The wedding music began playing. Out comes Ginny in a big poofy wedding dress, strutting with high confidence. If it weren't for the fiery orange hair contrasting it, (Y/N) would've thought she looked like some sort of pastry.
She turns to look at Harry, only to see him looking back at her. Upon seeing she noticed, he move his gaze to Ginny as she now stood in front of him.
The priest began speaking. "We are gathered here today to..." But (Y/N) could barely listen. Worried for her friend who was about to marry someone he no longer loved. And even though Harry managed to defeat Voldemort, there's no way this man is going to back out of a wedding to the family that took care of him during his Hogwarts years.
"...to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Ginny smiles before saying, "I do!" The priest turns to Harry. "And do you, Harry James Potter, take Ginerva Molly Weasley to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
There was a moment of silence, everyone excited to hear Harry say those two words. "I um," he mutters out. If one looked closely at Ginny Weasley, they could see her eyes almost glaring at him. "Come on Harry." She quietly says to him.
"I-er, I do," Harry says.
"If there is anybody in this room who can show just cause why these two should not join in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Silence. The one and final chance to stop this from happening.
The priest began to speak, "Well I-" A figure in a lavender dress stands up, shaking visibly. Loud gasps fill the room, everyone wondering who is this girl that's stopping the event of a lifetime. Ginny was fuming. Mrs. Weasley looked like she could faint. Hermione looked shocked but started to seem somewhat proud at the girl. And finally Harry, looking both stunned and relieved.
"I object." (Y/N) exclaims. "I'm sorry Weasleys but, I can't let Harry get married without hearing how I feel about him." She turns to Harry. "Harry, I've been in love with you since the moment we met on the train when we were eleven. Even when we broke up in fourth year and decided to stay friends, I still loved you. Seeing you with Cho and Ginny hurt me, but I never wanted to say anything because you looked so happy. But I'm still in love with you. If you still love me, I'll be outside if you want to join me. But if you love Ginny more, I understand and support your choice, and I hope you'll have a great marriage."
She walks away, not looking back to see what he might say. The audience looks at Harry and Ginny, who looks ready to burst.
"I cannot believe the audacity of that bitch! She just shows up and ruined our wedding!" She screams. "Thank goodness she fucking left. Now we can finish this, right Harry?"
Harry was staring at the door where (Y/N) exited. The one girl that was there during every single adventure at Hogwarts, was in love with him. The one girl he's been thinking about and missing lately, was so close to being in his arms.
"Harry!" His eyes land on Ginny. "They're waiting! Just one kiss and we're finally married."
"Ginny, I can't marry you."
The crowd gasps and Harry's ninety-nine percent sure Mrs. Weasley fainted this time.
Tears started lining Ginny's eyes. "Why not?! Cause of her? You're gonna leave me for her?"
Harry felt somewhat bad for the girl. She was about to get married to the man of her dreams only for him to end it. "I'm sorry Ginny, I still love her. And it wouldn't be fair for me to marry you when I'm missing someone else. You're a nice girl, Ginny and you deserve someone better."
Harry starts running out to find (Y/N). "Harry don't you dare!" He hears Ginny scream, but he doesn't turn back. Only focusing on finding the one he loves.
"(Y/N)! (Y/N) where are you!" He screams.
He hears his named being called by her. "Harry!" He sees (Y/N) running towards him. "Absolutely stunning" he thought to himself.
(Y/N) jumps into Harry's arms, almost knocking them over. "I still love you (Y/N)," Harry says to her. "I love you. You're the one I want to be with."
Harry smashes his lips against (Y/N)'s. Proving to her that he's all hers. She kisses back, hands on his shoulders while Harry's was on her waist.
Harry was the first to pull back, staring at how beautiful (Y/N) looked. Lips and cheeks tinted from the kiss, the sparkle in her eyes, the way her lavender dress fit her perfectly. She was beautiful, and she was Harry's.
"I love you Harry." She breathes out.
"I love you too (Y/N)," He says.
"Let's run away."
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hops-hunny · 3 years ago
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Angels on Earth
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Pairing: Ron Weasley x Chubby!Reader
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 1.8k
Request: “CONGRATS ON 300 FOLLOWERS!!!! I love your writing sm <3
this is my first time ever making a request and recently I found out that the person I was dating is still in love with their ex so I'm looking for comfort rn hehe
could you do a 23, 33, 35 with Ron, a mix of fluff and smut? chubby/plus size fem reader please”
Summary: Ron thought he was obvious, but it was clear (Y/n) was more obvious.
Warnings: Sexual themes
A/N: This took a while but I’ve also been busy but, enjoy!
23. “Cause I never believed there was a heaven till I found you.”
33. “Would you fuck me if I was skinny?” “I’d fuck you right now.”
35. “If you wanted a kiss you should’ve just said so.”
For as long as Ron could remember, he had always found his potions partner to be beautiful. Who could blame him? (Y/n) was a beautiful girl. Round cheeks, soft all around, beautiful (h/c) hair, and the prettiest set of (e/c) eyes he had ever seen. But that wasn’t originally what drew him in, it was everything else. (Y/n) had an aura that surrounded her that was so bright, so full of life. Everyone who befriended her was always in a positive mood, smiles seen left and right from the jokes she’d tell. Even right now, with her hair pulled back from her face and the cute little goggles she insisted on wearing, he couldn’t help but admire her.
“Right. I think that should be it.” She said, pushing the goggles up her face as she turned her head to look at him. His face flushed and if she had noticed, she didn’t say much. “That is unless you fucked something up. Merlin knows how bad you are with Potions Weasley.” she giggled, his heart pulling and racing in his chest. 
“Oi! ‘M not that bad. Plus you didn’t let me touch anything, should be fine unless you managed to make a mistake.” He leaned towards her a bit with a devious smirk. “But it’s impossible for you to do that isn’t it? I forgot you were just a perfect princess.” He pulled away, eyes trained on the potion in the cauldron in front of them. Amortentia, was it? He found it a bit strange because he couldn’t smell anything but the girl’s perfume no matter how far he leaned in. In his own state of confusion, he completely missed the girl’s own shocked look on her face.
“What do you smell?” she questioned, gathering her things due to the period drawing to a close. His eyes widened at his realization before calming down. Now was a better time than ever. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before sighing.
“You.” his eyes shot open at the sound of a snort. (Y/n) had made her way towards the exit of the potions room, (e/c) eyes rolling at him as she shot him a smile. She went to leave the room before giving him an up and down.
“If you wanted a kiss you should’ve just said so.” she teased, shooting him a wink before exiting the room. He groaned, rubbing his hands up and down his face as he adjusted the awkward bulge in his pants. He stood, gathering his things as he huffed to himself.
“I’m in deep aren’t I?” he said out loud, ignoring the look his slimy potion’s teacher gave him. Without another word, he left continuing on his path to his next dreadful class of the day.
------------------------
“She probably thought you were joking.” Harry said, causing Ron to give him a glare. Even though there was a big possibility that Harry was right, he didn’t want to believe him. He thought his attempt was a good one! He was direct about what he meant, right?
“He’s got a point. You guys usually joke around and mess with each other a lot. She probably thought you were cracking a joke. Have you tried just telling her how you feel?” Luna asked as if the answer was obvious. Ron felt his brow twitch as he sighed, sinking down in his seat more as he threw his head back.
“What can be more obvious than saying you smell someone in your Amortentia? Do you guys even think?” He questioned.
“Do you? Cause if you did then you’d know that was a poor attempt.” Hermione chimed. Although at first he was sure his attempt was good, that it was obvious, suddenly he was beginning to have second thoughts. Was he clear enough? Sure, you could say one thing but he’d be the first to admit his actions didn’t match. He huffed, looking at his friends, desperation hidden in his eyes.
“Well, what should I say then?” 
“Say something truthful! Let your heart speak for what your actions couldn’t.” Ginny chimed, causing them all to give her a strange look. She crossed her arms, looking away with red cheeks. “What? I think I’d know what chicks like, I do shag em afterall.”
“So tell us, what does your heart say Ron?” Luna asked, he sighed as he racked his brain. He liked her a lot. How could he not? (Y/n) was beautiful, a gift from the heavens above. The softness of her skin, the roundness of her tummy, and those beautiful luscious thighs. He was surprised no one else had made a move on her yet. She was kind too, always willing to help her fellow (y/h/h) in need.
A lovesick dopey look took over his face. “I...I’d say…” he let out a dreamy noise as hearts took over his eyes, “I never believed there was a heaven till I found you. Never believed angels walked among us at Hogwarts, that I think she’s amazing and I-”
“Okay ew that’s enough. I’m gonna be sick. Save it for her.” his sister said, grimacing as she stood up. “And with that note, I’m gone. Why not tell  her at the Gryfindor party tonight? I’m sure she’ll be there!” Ron gulped nervously. That soon? Surely a few hours wasn’t enough time to prepare! Maybe he’d try in a few months…
However as he looked across the hall, seeing some twit practically eye fucking her, it was settled. Tonight he would tell her and if not, he’d at least make some progress.
-----------------------------------------------------
Ron let out a shaky deep breath, wiping his sweaty hands along the front of his jeans. Whether it was the sweltering heat of all the warm bodies, the shots he had taken, or the thought of what he had set out to do tonight he didn’t know, but either way he was burning like a phoenix. His eyes trailed the room nervously, looking for (Y/n). How was he sure she’d be here anyways? She wasn’t a frequent attender to parties, only showing up to them sporadically. However at the sound of a familiar laugh-snort combo, he had all he needed. 
In his buzzed(and slightly drunken) haze, he followed the sound blindly, face heating up at the girl's appearance. She wore a blush colored bodycon dress that clung to the folds and curves of her body nicely.. Her hair was styled differently than usual, but suited her perfectly nonetheless. Most things did. And when she saw him? Her face broke out in a bright smile as she hiccuped, handing her half empty cup to one of her friends. She stumbled her way over to him. He steadied her by placing his hand on her waist, looking down at her.
“Ronnn! Omg Ronnie, what’re you doing here?” she hiccuped again, giggling as she stared up at him. He smiled back at her softly, stroking along the softness of her waist.
“ I could ask you the same thing, love, you’re not much of a drinker usually.” he placed a hand on her cheek, thankful for the liquid courage flowing through his system. “You alright? Come on, let’s sit you down. You don’t seem to be too steady.” he said, guidning her towards the couch. When they got there, he expected her to sit next to him but was in shock as she parked herself in his lap. She wrapped an arm around his neck, smiling down at him drunkenly. He handed her a glass of water, the same one he had been handed earlier when he was getting a bit out of hand. She thanked him, sipping on it at a slow pace. 
After a few minutes, the hiccuping and giggles had died down from her, leaving her to form goosebumps at their current position. She was fully seated on the boy’s lap and he had his arms wrapped around her, rubbing his fingers along her soft pudgy sides. She bit her lip as she looked off to the side, before bringing her eyes back to his.
“Uh, Ron,” she started, looking down as she picked at the skin around her nail beds. Letting out a deep sigh, she continued, “Can I ask you something?” her heart began to race rapidly as she looked at him, watching as he nodded before offering her a soft smile.
“Course. What’s up?” How should she phrase it? Should she be simple? Should she-
“Would you fuck me if I was skinny?” she blurted out, eyes widening. Although she had wanted to ask him something about if he was attracted to her, she hadn’t intended on being so...bold. She was known for speaking her mind but not in situations like this! In a state of panic, she went to stand up but was pulled down by a strong pair of arms, pulling her close to an even stronger, toned chest. He chuckled in her ears, hair tickling the edge of her neck.
“Shit princess, I mean...I’d fuck you right now.” his grip on her sides tightened, trailing one hand on her thigh. Out of all the things she could’ve said, this was the last one Ron expected. (Y/n), his snarky potions partner, in his lap in that god forsaken dress asking if he’d fuck her. He felt his own heart begin to race. Did she mean to say it? Well, did she mean to say it to him? Or did she just want his opinion for someone else?
“O-oh.” she stuttered out. (Y/n) pulled back some, turning her head to look at him, finding that his eyes instantly were drawn to hers. 
“Do you mean that?” they both asked. Ron’s cheeks turned red as (Y/n) felt her own face grow warm. Both of them let out breaths they didn’t even know they were holding, laughing with one another.
“I meant it but, did you?” she asked, breath hitching of the closeness of their faces to one another. She could smell the fire whiskey mixed with hints of cannabis and weed mixing with it making her absolutely intoxicated. He nodded, pressing his forehead against hers.
“‘Course I did, love. You don’t have to be skinny for me to do anything with you, let alone fuck you. Because trust me,” he trailed a hand along her upper thigh, sliding it between the soft expanse of them. “It’d be my pleasure to fuck a woman with a body like yours. A woman so soft, so tender, bet that cunt of yours is tight and dripping. Isn’t it?” the girl squeaked, clenching her thighs around his hand. He leaned down, pecking her lips softly before pulling away, (Y/n) whimpering  in a desperate attempt to let him know she wanted more..
“And if I were to grant you that pleasure right now?” she purred, placing a soft hand on his cheek which he gladly leaned into, a dark chuckle leaving his lips.
“I’d be the luckiest man alive.”
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oopsimbug · 3 years ago
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in which... y/n is just trying to put on eyeliner and harry is bored pt. two
a/n: when she’s back from a six month hiatus after making only ONE fic. wow, do i suck. for anyone who cares, school has been pretty rough. i’m actually procrastinating studying for an exam to finally upload this. it’s been pretty hard to balance both school and writing but oh well. anywho, here it finally is. it took so long to write because i wasn’t feeling very inspired by this. a lot of people asked for a part two and even though i kinda wanted to leave it on a sad note, i am a sucker for giving the people what they want, so sorry if this is a bit shit- i definitely don’t like this one myself. i guess i’m not one for fluffy endings. well, at least for this one i wasn’t. i really hope you enjoy it! more stuff to come, if school doesn’t mind fucking off for a little while (or maybe just forever?) xox -(a) bug
pairing: best friend! harry styles x reader
summary: Harry is worried about Y/n. Y/n is worried about Harry. Harry is solving it by thinking of ways to check on her, while Y/n uses cheesy pasta and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as an excuse to not think. But what will happen when someone is at her door, and it’s not her delivery man?
warnings: angst, swearing, y/n and harry being idiotos, fluffy end, kissing
word count: 5.3k
It had been a week.
One gruelling, painfully long week.
Harry was biting his nails, staring up at the ceiling as he laid in his bed, worrying about her.
About how he fucked up.
He didn’t think that she would be upset for this long. He thought she would scream at him and then text him the following day, wanting to hang out- a silent “I forgive you”, he supposed.
But after two days of radio silence on her end, he decided to call her. The only problem was that her last words to him were “leave”. She wanted space. She needed to think things through- what things? Harry had no clue. But he had to respect her and her choice to not want him around. So with that, he put down the phone.
But a small part of him (okay fine, a big part of him), wanted her to just show up at his house so they could cuddle again, talking about the stupidest of things while they made cupcakes in his kitchen. They would be listening to groovy music and now and then, they’d stop mixing bowls and sifting flour to dance- well, they were horrible dancers, so more so just wave their hands, hips and shoulders around. It would be fun and would always end up with them laughing at one another. He would lick the batter and she would berate him, telling him that “one of these days, you are going to get salmonella and I’ll just laugh at your stupid ass” and he would retort with something witty and a bit flirty like “don’t worry darling, we both know you would be right at my side if I got sick. I know you can’t stand being apart from me” with a wink and a cheeky smirk. He just wants to see her in her oversized Space Jam hoodie and little basketball shorts. Or her short flower shirt and his sweatpants that she has to cuff at the bottoms because they’re too long. Or even-
He’s gotta stop thinking about her, or his brain will soon explode. But he just can’t stop. He tries to think of the happier moments, like her showing him a tour of her very healthy houseplants that she prides herself in, but every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is her teary face telling him to leave. So no, if he was given the choice to think of her flailing her arms around in his kitchen to dancehall tunes while making sweet treats or crying at something that he provoked, you bet your ass he’d choose the former.
But after the seventh day, he knew that something wasn’t right. This was too much “thinking time”. For all he knew, she could be fine, but she could also be positively bawling. She could be living for this free time, but she also could be waiting for him to make the first move. She could be wanting Harry out of her life for her benefit forever, but she also could be feeling lonely and counting the seconds for their makeup, just like he was.
That was it. He had to go see her and make sure his best friend was okay.
He practised what he was going to say to her in his car on the way to her apartment. “Y/n, I’m so sorry for how I acted. I didn’t stop to think about how you were feeling and didn’t take your emotions into account which was unbelievably wrong of me. I’m truly sorry. It’s just that I really care about you and you’re my best friend and I can’t see you choose a tinder fuck over me and if I saw him in the street I would knock his lights out and I just want to kiss you, can I kiss you, oh god please let me kiss you I just want to-“
Fuck, what was wrong with him? Why was he so upset? He had been on plenty of dates with other celebrities and models and she was always on the sidelines, cheering him on. So why was he getting so touchy-feely about a single tinder date? Maybe he was just in desperate need of attention. He hadn’t had a girlfriend for almost one year and casual fuck arounds also stopped about four months ago, so maybe he just needed to fuck someone quick. That would explain why he sees his best friend’s kindness and natural flirty nature as something more romantic. Every laugh at his jokes, every look in her eyes, every graze of her hand on his thighs as she leans over him to get her drink on the side table next to him, he becomes more switched on and awake. She leaves him feeling giddy and excited at every conversation. “This can’t just be because I’m horny right?” he cannot believe he would ever be that horny. What the hell was he going to do?
*
This is pathetic she thought.
I’m pathetic.
She let out a huge sigh before shoving another forkful of cheesy pasta into her mouth.
What am I doing?
The answer?
Eating carbs upon carbs upon carbs, lounging on her comfy sofa in the most comfortable, yet daggiest pair of pyjamas ever while watching reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air for the fiftieth time, actively avoiding all commitments, housework and jobs that involve moving further than to the kitchen, which even then was an embarrassingly burdening trek on its own.
But she let it slide. How could she not? She was upset and this was how she coped. That’s what she kept reminding herself as she boiled more and more pasta watching the days pass her by without realisation, but now, she’s beginning to question if this was the best idea. Pushing all thoughts of him out of her mind by not looking at her phone just in case he called or texted. But she was beginning to struggle.
It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what inner turmoil she was facing. He seemed genuinely hurt when she snapped at him. He truly didn’t understand why she took so much offence to the playground ribbing, it seemed. And she had to go be a dick and ignore him. He was probably worried sick. How many times would he have called to check up on her? 10? 15? The more she thought about it, the more she wanted this stupid feud to be over and just be in his arms again, even if it’s just as a friend. So she caved. Turned on her phone, expecting there to be at least a call or a text asking if she was still alive or not. And although she did receive a message of that likeness, it wasn’t from Harry, no. It was from her daily water tracking app, pleading her to fill in her daily intake of water so as to not die of dehydration after she was suspected to have not drunk any for the entire week when in reality, she was just too in her head to open her stupid phone and log her water.
Wow, she thought.
Now not only has Harry chosen to not speak to you, but you also look like a huge idiot right now. Of course, he wouldn’t want to talk to you! You got pissed at him for absolutely no reason and now he hates you. He’s gonna ask for his cardigan and track pants that he keeps at your house in case he wanted to sleepover. He’s going to take back all of his little knick-knacks that he leaves over, like the cute diffuser that he leaves because he knows you need it for your constant hay-fever that blocks your nose and then he’s going to declare that you aren’t friends anymore and then you will never get the chance to tell him how you feel and then-
Her panicky brooding is interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Who the hell could that be?”, she thinks. It was too late for it to be the postman with her package containing her entire Amazon wish list that she bought on the third day of mourning to make herself feel better. But it couldn’t be Mrs Xiao asking her if she had any holes in her shirts that needed stitching. The sweet old lady fell asleep at 8:37 pm sharp after her medicine that she’d take at 8:30 pm would kick in (which she learnt after spending nights over at her apartment where her niece, Mei, took care of her. Y/n would learn traditional recipes like baozi and watch movies with her two friends all the time). It couldn’t be Mei either, she was always in online uni lectures from 8:30-10:30 pm, locked away in her little study, so as to not bother or be bothered. So now, a little panicked, Y/n wondered who was truly at her door?
Another two knocks come, echoing off the walls of her little apartment as she turns down the volume of the program she was watching. She stares at the door from her couch, debating whether she should risk getting stabbed by a possible murderer or not, before ultimately deciding that life was too short. She was also getting sick and tired of the knocks that kept arriving in threes. She swings her legs off the couch and onto the floor, pushing them into her slippers so that her feet wouldn’t touch the cold floor, waddling her way to the door before shyly opening it, peeking at who it could be through the tiny crack in the opening, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t mind her current state: belly filled with pasta, hair knotty, giant shirt with sweatpants on and Harry’s patchwork cardigan hanging off her shoulders- which she had been wearing all day, cherishing the pretty piece of clothing and his scent imbedded in it, taking it all in just in case he asks for it back. She peeps at the torso of this mystery person, realising that Harry owns the jumper worn by them, before looking up and locking eyes with a worn out and tired eyed Harry, one hand in the pocket of the familiar hoodie and another extended out near the door, ready to knock again before freezing when it opens up all the way to show herself to her best friend. He doesn’t eye her up and down cheekily like he normally does when she is wearing pyjamas, wolf-whistling at her relaxed state, claiming that “You look runway-ready, my love! Do a twirl for the crowd, will you?”. Instead, he stares her right in the eyes with what looks like almost relief, before smiling a weak and broken smile.
One of them needed to break the silence or both would have just stared at each other in her doorway until the world exploded. So she starts.
“Hi.” her voice hovers a tinge above a whisper, almost as though if she dared to speak louder, this probable illusion of the one she loves would fade away. He lights up a little bit, probably relieved that she started the conversation.
“Hey,” his soft voice matched her volume and tone as if he too didn’t want this to be a dream. “May I come in?” The words sound awkward to her coming out of his mouth. Harry never had to ask for permission to be invited in- he usually just strolled in without so much as a holler to indicate he was present, finding amusement in scaring her instead while she was doing whatever she was doing, whether that be reading, watching a movie, cooking or napping. They were the best of friends and never had to inquire about entry to each other’s domains, along with other small things like if they had anything in their kitchens to eat or if they could sit somewhere, so hearing it was a little disheartening and provoked Y/n to think about how serious this situation was.
“Okay”, she replied after the pause of contemplation, opening the door fully so that the lanky boy could follow along behind her, like a little puppy. She didn’t like how awkward the situation was. She just wanted things to go back to what they were.
But then you wouldn’t be able to tell him you love him... her inner voice argued. And she agreed. She knew that yes, this will be awkward, but it’s an opportunity for him to listen to her and know that she isn’t joking.
“Would you like some tea?” She enquires. They’ll need to handle this like proper grown-ups (which in all honesty, isn’t their dynamic- it’s more like first-year uni students who are mature enough to have deep conversations but still laugh at dad jokes and anything remotely serious, like a painting with boobs), and from what she knows, or has seen in movies when the characters are being serious, is that you need tea or a drink of that sort and a sit down on the couch where you talk stuff out. So that’s exactly what she does.
“Yes please,” Harry’s soft voice replies as he toes off his boots that most definitely cost more than her apartment. Y/n nods and heads to the small kitchenette and flips the switch on the electric kettle before going into her cupboard that housed the mugs. Harry stood awkwardly near the sofas, and to save him the embarrassment of waiting while standing, Y/n invites him to sit with a small, “You can take a seat,” and a quick glance at him before returning her gaze to the mugs to make herself look busy. She didn’t want to look him in the eyes for more than three seconds in fear of bursting into tears and the worn out and tired sight of him. She shakes the thought out of her head and begins to prepare the mugs.
Y/n put two teabags in her mug while putting one in Harry’s. She was raised in a household of avid tea drinkers and she inherited her strong tea quirk from her father who would always keep two teabags with only a dash of milk, and the only difference between her tea and her fathers was that Y/n wasn’t strong enough to take her tea without sugar, unlike her father, who thought that drinking unbelievably concentrated leaf juice with milk was a fun and relaxing time. On the other hand, Harry liked to keep one tea bag in his mug while he drank it, but just like her father, he too took little to no sugar with his cup, being the health freak he was. And early in their friendship, when she mentioned it to him, Harry chuckled and chirped, “Your father is a smart man. He has to be for raising amazing and talented people like your siblings. I’m not sure what went wrong with you though...” while booping her nose as they laid together under a tree for a little picnic. And though she rolled her eyes at him and punched his shoulder for the sly dig at her, she was practically beaming at the fact that he thought her family was smart. Harry had no idea how much that meant to her. Y/n loved her entire family, and she was unbelievably close to them, so it made her entire week to know that Harry, someone she respected and loved so much, recognised how talented and smart each of her family members were. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t need the validation to know that her family was amazing, but she felt so special knowing he took the time to notice. He did that a lot though. Doing things that meant a lot to her without batting an eye. Saying things that only a person as observant as he could notice, like complimenting her eye colour in the light and asking her to read for him because he constantly mentions how much he loves her voice.
Y/n looked over to the same sweet guy she fell head over heels for, who was sitting on her couch, fidgety as ever, and wondered if they would ever be the same after the very next moments to come. She didn’t want things to change between them, but she was dying inside knowing that he wasn’t hers. And getting over him was not in the question, after the fiasco that happened last week. She just wished she could get inside his head to sate her painful curiosity.
What is he thinking about?
**
What is she thinking about?
It’s the million-dollar question running through his mind. What was she pondering over as she made them tea? Did she want to talk to him? Was she mad that it took him so long to find the balls to face her? Was she as nervous as he was? Was she worried that they would never be the same again like he was?
He was going into panic mode, questioning everything, while probably looking stupid as ever. As much as he regretted how awkward things were now, and the fact that he instigated her to lash out at him a week ago, he was realising that he was not regretting the fact that he did it. He didn’t want her to go out with someone else, and she didn’t. And yes, of course, he feels bad-beyond bad, in fact- for making her cry, and wishes he could take it all back, he also sees this as an opportunity to tell her how he feels about her. He could finally tell her that he thinks about her all the time. About her soft smile, her bright eyes, her melodic laugh, her speaking voice that brings butterflies to his stomach. He could tell her about how he loses himself at work, the grocery store, fuck- even at events- thinking about what she was doing at her house. Was she under her blankets on her couch, watching some corny tv show? Was she baking her signature choc chip cookies that taste like the gods blessed every single biscuit on the tray before they were put in the oven? Was she knitting her cat, Chesnut, another rug to plonk herself down on, with her feet up on the ottoman as she listened to the 7 o’clock news on the radio? Was she writing a paper for another deadline? Something so sophisticated, like the exploration of white and male privilege and how it is ingrained in our society? Something that Harry tried to understand and research so that he could stay in the loop with his smart girl’s interests, but he always struggled with.
It was a huge insecurity of his. Not that his best friend was smarter than he was, no way. He treasured the fact that she could and would whip his ass at a debate on things like the state of the world, or human rights. She could school him on global politics, languages, maths, science, history and literally anything else, and he would be cheering her on. What he was insecure about was her realising that he was probably slowing her down in life. Y/n was well within her rights to kick him out of her life for being nothing but a freeloader and stopping her from reaching her full potential, what with him constantly stopping her from her own life to help him go through shit happening in his. Whenever he was sad, or confused, or upset, Y/n was the first person he would talk to and he feared that she would realise that he was probably taking advantage of her and stop talking to him. And that scared him. It scared him because he knew that she didn't need him at all, but he needed her to do anything in life. Every major and minor decision in his life has been approved by Y/n first, and not because she was a controlling friend who didn’t trust him with his own life, but because Harry needed her validation. Harry Styles, a world-famous superstar, had girls, guys and non-binaries at his feet, following his every beck and call. Harry Styles, who was on the cover of every magazine, known by every celebrity, dated only the most perfect of women, required validation from Y/n, a psychology major at a small university. Y/n, who liked to plan her day out on a to-do list, end up not doing anything on that to-do list and cry about it afterwards. Y/n, who breaks it down to “Murder She Wrote” by Chaka Demus & Pliers like it’s her last 4 minutes and 5 seconds alive on this Earth while making pancakes. Y/n, who cries more when she’s laughing while watching Tik Toks than she does during sad movies.
To celebrities, Y/n was nothing but a regular. But to Harry, she was all. She was the warmth of a sweater that you toss in the dryer for a few minutes to make it extra toasty. She was the pad of butter that you spread onto your pumpkin sourdough toast and it ends up being exactly the amount you wanted. She was the feeling when you are driving home from a long day of interviews and premiers, and you’re on the freeway and the windows down and you just… exist. She is the feeling you get when you watch Pride and Prejudice, and the relief of when you find the perfect word to end a lyric. She is when your shoes fit perfectly, and when you finish a book so utterly fulfilling that you lie there in a trance, looking up at your ceiling at 3 am, wondering how you could have been so lucky to be able to be blessed with an ending like the one you just read. Y/n was all those things and more.
And that’s why he had to tell her he loved her. No matter how scared he was.
***
The electric kettle is finished boiling the tea all too quickly as the bubbling comes to an end and the distinct click of the switch turning back off echoes around the silent apartment. Y/n had poured the scalding hot water into the two cups she had prepared stared into them.
It was time. She had tried to avoid this for as long as possible, but now it was the moment to face the music. She picked up the two mugs of tea and brought them to her lounge where Harry was sitting on her worn in green sofa, staring at her coffee table, eyebrows scrunched, pouted lips, deep in thought, before looking up at her with wide green eyes, and followed her to where she stood in front of him. She passed his mug to him before sitting on the comfy chair a few feet away from the sofa and from him, putting some distance in between them for her sake, so that she wouldn’t try to hug him and say sorry without saying what she needed to say first. Which she needed to start talking about now, so as not to sit in the awkward silence created by the two.
Say something!!
“So…’
Jesus fuck…. was that all you could think of? Wow. I am going to lose my best friend.
Y/n was choking.
“I am so sorry,” Harry’s voice intercepts, raspy from the lack of use, looking up from the coffee table he seemed so interested in. “I am so fucking sorry Y/n. I have no excuse as to why I was making fun of you that day. I pushed too far and I am a shit friend for not noticing that you were already on edge. It was so wrong of me and I am so sorry.” He stopped himself before he started to ramble, looking at her with eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t decipher.
Y/n felt… unsatisfied. Why did she feel this way? He apologised, right? So why does she feel unfulfilled? Why does she want him to say more? He hit all of the points he had to for a standard apology, so why did she think he hadn’t done enough? Was it that little optimist in her brain hoping he would maybe reveal a slight attraction to her? Maybe tell her that he loves her, and has loved her forever and ever? Confess that she has bewitched him, body and soul so that she didn’t have to? God, was she an idiot. But a lovestruck idiot at that. She bites her tongue and replies.
“Harry, I forgive you. Although you were annoying as ever,” She rolls her eyes and smirks, while he lets out a breathy, half-assed chuckle, showing his acknowledgement at her attempt to ease the lowered yet still prevalent tension. She continues. “ I understand that you were just trying to have fun. I guess I was the one who irrationally lashed out . I am always okay with you poking fun at me, but I was just frustrated and tired and I took it out on you. I’m sorry for the improper communication and I’m sorry for pushing you away when we should’ve just talked…”
“I forgive you too. I think this was just miscommunication on both parts.” He stared into her eyes, almost as if he could sense the discontent in her, but chose to ignore it.
“I guess so.” She halfheartedly answered, not really knowing where to take the conversation next. They had both apologised, but evidently still had things to say. Well, Y/n had things to say, that’s for sure, but she was pretty sure that Harry wanted to say something too. He had that look on his face where he wanted to say something but was forcing himself not to.
What does he want to say? Why can’t he say it to my face? I mean, sure, I’m also hiding shit I wanna say, but I have an excuse. This could ruin our friendship. What does he have to say?
“Great,” Harry replies, trying to fill the awkward pauses and conversation that is being held. He still looked like he had something to say, but seemed like he was not budging.
Well, if he’s not saying anything, I’m not either. Why do I have to confess my feelings and put our friendship on the line if he isn’t even going to say what’s on his mind?
“So, are we good?”
“I don’t know. Are we? I mean, I forgive you and you forgive me, right?”
“Right… No yeah, we’re alright. We’re completely fine!” Y/n replies quickly. Why the fuck would you say that? You’re not fine.
There is a pregnant pause and Y/n has half a better mind to just get up, walk to the bathroom again with her head down and lock herself in there till he leaves again, because she cannot take this awkward conversation. Not with him. She shifts, ready to stand up to get some water, when Harry looks at her, confusion and slight panic setting into his face.
“Wait. I don’t think I’m fine…” She looks up at the boy sitting in front of her, reading the words from her mind like they were scribed on a piece of paper in the blackest of ink, permanent and bold. Her heart stuttered. What else did he want?
“Is everything okay, H?” she tentatively asks. He loses eye contact with her, gaze lowering towards the table in front of him
“I-” he pauses, trying to collect his thoughts while simultaneously trying to explain to her why he wasn’t okay. “I just- fuck” his head falls down, his face inches away from the hot tea in his hands, the humid steam billowing out of the mug and warming his elegant face as he takes a deep breath and tries once more to convey his thoughts. “I don’t want us to be friends again.”
Her heart stops. This could go one of two ways. He could either be confessing his hatred or his adoration for her, and either one would probably end with her imploding. She tries to take a neutral tone when she replies.
“What does that mean, H?”
He looks at her once more. “It’s not enough, Y/n... “
“What?” She is confused. Her friendship isn’t enough? How is she supposed to reply to that?
“I want more. I don’t want us to just be friends. I want to be more with you. I want to do more with you. I want to do things that friends… they shouldn’t do together…”
Is he trying to confess he likes her? Why, in all the ways you could speak, would he choose to speak like that?! She has had enough of him dawdling around his feelings. “Harry, stop being cryptic and fucking tell me what’s going on?!”
“I love you, Y/n! I fucking love you, Y/n. So much. And it is eating me from the inside out. I hate that we can’t be normal anymore, and I hate that you don’t love me the way I love you, but I cannot sit here and pretend everything is fine, because I love you.”
Y/n is stunned. Frozen in her spot. Can’t move, can’t speak, can’t breathe. Stuck in space, and stuck in time.
Holy fucking shit… he loves me…
While Y/n processes the life changing knowledge that her best friend loves her, her best friend conveniently sits next to her, wishing that he was dead for the letdown he was about to receive.
“Say something… please, for the love of God, say something!”
****
She looks up at Harry. Not Harry Styles, playboy, whore, singer, millionaire, but instead; Harry, her best friend of five years, reddened face out of embarrassment. She sees the mortality in his eyes. Feels his presence so heavily in the moment. She is in awe. True awe of him, and his ability to love her. And with that awe- and that stupid look on her face, she reaches up and cradles his face in her hands, brushing her thumbs softly over his plush pink lips. He stands just as still as her, barely breathing, as if it would shatter the fantasy to stardust and he would wake up in his bed, cold shivers running down his spine, as has happened previously whenever he thought of this moment, staring up at his ceiling at 3:40AM wondering why he thought of his best friend in such a way. She creeped closer to his face before stopping a breath away from him, and whispered.
“Is this okay?”
She looked into his eyes, and he looked into hers, both never feeling so alive before. He wishes to tell her that she needn’t ask for his permission, and that he wants to kiss her forever. Eternally locked in an embrace that holds their souls together. But all he can muster is a weak and broken whisper back.
“Please,”
She can hold it for no longer, and leans in the rest of the way, their lips moulding together, for the very first time, eyes fluttering close, as his hands reach to grab her by the hips to straddle him, deepening the kiss even further. And when they part for breath, panting for air with slightly moist lips, they touch foreheads, eyes still closed. Words needn’t be exchanged- everything that yearned to be said was useless, as it could never describe how they truly felt for each other. So hopelessly besotted with one another, that all they could do was breathe together before kissing once more, hoping that their actions could provide even an iota of an idea of how much they love one another.
Two best friends, turned lovers forevermore.
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jadedxrealityw · 3 years ago
Text
-Found You- Dean Thomas x Reader
☼-♥-☼
Kody: (SHORT STORY) using gender neutral pronouns for the first time with my first ever Dean Thomas reader, tell me what you think. Also made sure to include androgynous type clothes.
Movie/Show: Harry Potter
House/Year: Gryffindor, 7th year
Summary: after being abandoned by your friends in your first year of Hogwarts, you meet a weird lot of boys who fill the void the others had left, some more then others and when you almost kiss one of them, it becomes more then awkward.
Pronouns Used: They/Them
Possible Triggers/Warnings: suggestive flirting, gen z humor, cursing, the fluff, no voldy au, slight golden trio slander with redemption, reader staring off into space. 
☼-♥-☼
first year
the day you were placed in house Gryffindor you had become close to a few choice people, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter. Your four were as close as close could be in the beginning of your first year, playing pranks, studying in the common room. All of the things friends would do.
towards the end of the year you had caught them hanging out without you on mutiple occasions when they said they were all busy on other occasions. It didn’t bother you at first, thinking a was a one off- multiple one offs. Then it got a bit worse. 
study groups turned into you waiting for hours for them to show up, only for you to fall asleep on top of your textbooks waiting. Getting breakfast together now was just you sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table only for George Weasley to tell you they had already ate and left.
you weren’t stupid, you knew when you were being avoided. You also were never one for confrontation, so you made the executive decision to stop making an effort to hang out with any of them, just to see if they would and maybe everything you were thinking was just from your paranoia.
alas it was the end of the school year and you couldn’t do much hanging out with anyone since your mother was strict, only allowing friends to come over to your place, not the other way around. It was embarrassing at times, but you understood all her rules came from a place of love and experience.  
not that they had ever come over before, even for the winter holiday. Though you understood that as all of you went home to your families. (Yes, James and Lily are alive), but since you all had two months out of school, you figured there would be enough time to at least meet up once.
you had each of there mailing address’s and they had yours. It was the first ‘gift’ you had given to each other and at the time, you were excited to have them. Now when you looked at the the ripped piece of parchment, it’s mere existence mocked you.
as you predicted, nothing came. No letter from your so called ‘friends’ nothing at all. It was disheartening to say the least, but at the same time you saw it coming. The rest of those two months you spent with your mother, which was actually pretty nice. 
☼-♥-☼
second year
as you stepped off the train, the cold air of Hogsmeade Station hit your face, causing the hairs on your neck to stand up. You looked around, watching students as they walked with there friends or hugged them tightly. You’ll admit, it made your expression turn dark.
so you stood, just watching. As people passed, they gave you strange stares and made snide comments about how weird you looked, staring off into nothing. Most students had dispersed when your shoulder gets knocked, bringing you back into the moment. 
“Oh sorry!” you recognized the voice. Once your head turned your met with the familiar face of Neville Longbottom. “Oh Neville! Sorry was i in your way?” you quickly apologize, a sheepish smile on your face. Neville copies your smile, shaking his head “No, Seamus just shoved me too hard”
“Did not, your just weak“ Seamus argued, crossing his arms in a huff. You weren’t too familiar with Seamus Finnigan or the taller boy next to him, Dean Thomas. “Both of you, shut it“ Dean shook his head, a playful smile on his face as he pushed past the two boys to stand in front of you.
“You alright? You looked as if someone used body bind curse on you“ he jokes, a light laugh escaping his mouth. Oh jeez, how long have you stood there “Um- i was waiting for my friends, but i think they left me behind“ you confess, feeling more stupid then you already had been feeling. 
Dean didn’t skip a beat as he shrugs his shoulders “Forget them, walk with us” he offers. You were a bit taken aback as you didn’t know this fellow Gryffindor well and he already seemed so friendly towards you. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother?”
a laugh came from both Seamus and Dean while Neville chuckled nervously “Impossible, the only bother here is him. Now let’s go before we miss the boats” Dean points to Seamus, who’s expression drops “Your rude” he scoffs.
Dean smiles at him before using his hand to gesture to you to follow him as he led the small group through Hogsmeade. 
the entire walk was Dean and Seamus trying to tell embarrassing stories about each other to make the other seem better. Neville would tell you all about what he wanted to learn in Herbology this year.
after awhile they eventually asked you questions about yourself, like- your name and who had ditched you. They were surprised to find out that the golden trio had ditched you. Seamus on the other hand wasn’t, saying how “No one is really golden” 
☼-♥-☼
seventh year
fast forward to your final year at Hogwarts and you were still best friends with Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, and Dean Thomas. You all were no golden trio by any means, more like ‘Menaces To Society’ as Mcgonagall called you. 
 you weren’t a well behaved student to say the least. 
speaking of well behaved “Shut up, shut the hell up!” Seamus whisper shouts as points his wand at Neville who is looking into the dark “But this is such a bad idea!” he whines, rubbing his arm to create some warmth as the night was cold. 
“It’ll be fine, only if Dean hurries the hell up“ you say, placing a hand on Neville’s shoulder. He looks at you and nods once, shivering slightly. Smiling, you open the greenhouse door and peak your head inside “Dean, i’m getting frostbite out here!“ 
you watch as Dean’s head pops up from behind the large table, holding a potted mandrake “Oh i’m so sorry, but your not the one doing all the hard work!” he argues. You roll your eyes “You lost rock, paper, scissors. Maybe stop choosing paper dipshit”
Dean opens his mouth to say something back when you here Seamus groan loudly “Both of you can flirt later, hurry up! Filch will be back around in a few minutes” he snaps at both of you. Holding up a finger to Dean, signalling you could finish your argument in a second, you peak your head back out. 
“In what universe was that flirting, Finnigan?“ 
“You were flirting with your eyes“
“....right, anyway-“ you slowly turn your head back into the greenhouse as Dean walks out, holding two pots of mandrakes, young ones to be exact. “Alright let’s go“ he says. You jump up in your place and clap your hands together “Oh this is going to be beautiful“
“I just hope we don’t get in trouble like last time“ Neville shudders, following behind you all as you made your way through the grass. “Will be fine“ you wave your hand, standing beside Dean as he held the potted mandrakes. “Shit, these are heavy“ 
“divide and conquer“ Seamus suddenly says as he takes both of the mandrakes from Dean, tucking one under his arm and handing the other to Neville, who happily held it tightly between both of his hands. Dean smiles and stretches his arms, until he hears a pop noise in both. 
as you walked, a gust of wind hit all of you, making you shiver. Your dumbass shouldn’t have worn your pajamas out, which was only a black t-shirt with thin dark grey plaid pants. You had shoes on of course, you weren’t that stupid. “Told you to bring a jumper” Dean says in a sing song voice.
you turn your head to your side, scoffing “I’m not cold, i’m perfectly fine” you look him in the eye while he gives you a ‘really?’ look, which meant he knew you were lying. You hated that cute, dumb, knowing face. Without another word, you look forward once more. 
Dean moves closer to your side and wraps his arms around your shoulder, pulling you flush against him as you both walked quietly. You suddenly felt very warm, but most of that warmth came from your own face. “Better?” he whispers, his hand rubbing your arm. 
honestly, how did this tall freak not expect anyone to fall for him? For two years you have had a crush on Dean Thomas, but it seemed to always be platonic on his side. He was nice to everyone though, so it was hard to tell if there was any romantic intent behind his actions. 
“Much better“ 
“Hey! Who’s out they’re?! No students out pass curfew! You are in big trouble!“ looking ahead you see the familiar shape of Filch in the distance. The bright lantern covering his face, so you were sure he couldn’t see you all as well. “Scatter!“ you yell and in an instant you all pull away from each other. 
this isn’t the first time running into Filch, so you already knew what to do. All of you would run off separately until you couldn’t be seen and just apparate back into the common room. You had been doing it for years and were honest to Godric disappointed he hadn’t figured it out yet.
“Hey you get back here!“
as you pull away, you feel Dean’s hand travel down your arm until his fingers slide off yours. You would have loved to have bathed in that moment longer, but the fear of expulsion was too heavy on your mind at the moment. You spotted a pillar and ran for it. 
once safely behind said pillar, you pull your wand out that you had safely in your.....i don’t know and apparate away. 
☼-♥-☼
you stumble a bit as your transported into the Gryffindor common room, the calming sound of fire cracking on the wood in the fireplace. You were safe. Looking around the dark room, you don’t see Neville or Seamus, but you do see the back of Dean’s head as he’s sat on the sofa in front of the fire. 
your eyes narrow as you walk over to the sofa, placing your hands on his shoulders “Hey Y/n” he says, not even taking a glance as you as he chuckles to himself. “How did you know?- Nevermind, where’s Nev and Seamus?” you ask him.
“There setting up the mandrakes, remember?” he explains before reaching up to grab your hands with both of his, pulling them down so your forced into resting your chin against the top of the sofa. He released only one of your hands and brought the other to his mouth, placing a kiss on your palm.
what the fuck?- 
 “Also I've had your hands on me before, not hard to forget“ he explains. The way he said that made it sound so suggestive if anyone else had been in the room. You were also stunned by the fact he just kissed your hand. This was one of the moments you couldn’t tell if he was being friendly or not.
you could feel his eyes on you, practically burning holes into the side of your face, but you just didn’t have it in you to look at him. Heart racing and your stomach feeling lighter by the second, you felt utterly and completely swooned by the tall Gryffindor boy once again.
“Can you look at me?” you hear him ask, feeling his free hand gently force your face in his direction so your E/c eyes meet with his. “What?“ you ask, trying to mask the fact that you were putty in hands at the moment. Dean didn’t respond, only smile widely as his eyes flicker from your eyes to lips.
he couldn’t be asking to, ya know..right? Before you could question it further Dean began to lean in and you found yourself doing the same “We did it!- whoa, what’s going on here?” you almost snapped your spine at how hard you threw yourself back, moving a good five feet away.
“Nothing!“ you and Dean shout at the same time. Dean folded his arms over his chest, coughing awkwardly into his hand. You watch as Neville steps out from behind Seamus, who’s grin is wider then ever before. “As much as i want to indulge in whatever this is, we have to get to our dorms- like right now“
“What, why?“ you ask, giving him a questioning look. “Neville dropped his Gryffindor tie back at the greenhouse so Mcgonagall and Dumbledore are coming to inspect in the house to see if anyone’s awake“ Seamus sighs, walking forward. 
“Good thing it didn’t have my name on it or anything“ Neville smiles sadly before following Seamus to the hall where the dorms were at. “It’s alright Nev“ you send him a warm smile, trying to reassure him. You decided to follow them as well to the dorms “Y/n!“ you hear Dean call out.
thinking fast and stupid, you stretch your arms, letting out a fake yawn “Damn, i’m super tired. I’ll see you guys in the morning!” you push past both Seamus and Neville and speed walk down the hall. You made a beeline down to your dorm and almost ripped your dorm off of it’s hinges trying to open it
but once you do, you take a large step and shut the door behind you
what the fuck just happened?
that night you had laid in bed for almost an hour, thinking about your almost kiss with Dean Thomas. You felt shame, like you had someone forced this situation upon yourself. You liked Dean Thomas yes, but did you imagine that he was going in for a kiss?
eventually when your brain started to hurt too much, you fell asleep without any interruptions that night.
☼-♥-☼
you awoke to the sounds of awful birds chirping outside and roll onto your side, unfortunately though you were already on the edge of your bed and rolled right of the thing, collided with the hard wood floor that made up the ground of your dorm. You knew you should have gotten a damn carpet at that muggle store.
using your elbows, you prop yourself up and push yourself into the sitting position. What a glorious way to start the day you thought before standing on your two feet. Its saturday, which means you didn’t have to get too dressed up just to eat breakfast.
you yawn, not bothering to cover your mouth as you trudge slowly to your closet, swinging the door open. Taking into account that the weather had bit cold recently you pick out a multicolored jumper consisting of brown, beige’s, purple’s, dark blue’s, and whatnot. with a pair of brown overalls.
removing your clothes, you place them in a woven hamper next to the closet, you had taken a shower the previous night before going to bed, but you just ended up sneaking out. Eh- still counts. Once the clothes are on, you walk over to your dresser where your mirror was on the wall and looked in.
you looked tired and like someone who wanted to go back to bed, perfect. Reaching your hand up, you run your hand through your hair, untangling a few knots with your fingers before shaking your head, your hair now looking like in had been through a gust of wind.
also perfect
after that, you go over to the door slipping your shoes on with your feet before turning the knob and opening it. As soon as that wooden door unhinged you remember all the events from last night and internally cringed. God, today was going to be awkward as hell. 
stepping out, you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it as you never had a reason to before. Gryffindor house was pretty chill with privacy and whatnot, so you weren’t worried about people coming in and taking your things. 
☼-♥-☼
walking down the stairs to the dungeons, you had a gleeful smile on your face. See, the whole reason you stole mandrakes is because you currently were in a prank war with the Slytherin house, or to be more specific Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson. 
Draco said he could pull better pranks, you said otherwise and that’s pretty much how it started. It had been going on for a few weeks and the mandrakes were your big finale since you knew that ferret couldn’t do anything better. “Oh shit, Theo!” you heard as you took the final step.
you could hear screeching for a few moments before its quickly shut up. Speeding up, you turn the corner to see a group of Slytherins surrounding four passed out students, one of those students being Theodore Nott. “How did mandrakes get all the way down here?” Pansy crossed her arms.
“I don’t-“ Draco spoke, his head turning to spot you with a shit eating grin on “Nevermind“ he exhales before standing up straight and walking over to you “L/n“ he greets, a deadpan expression on his face while you look like you’ve won the lottery. 
“Malfoy, i see you got my gift“
“Oh yeah, my friend Theo was just blown away“ he said, rolling his eyes which only makes you feel more victorious. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. It was meant for you” you smile innocently at him. He lets out a bitter chuckle before extending his hand out to you “You win L/n”
you gladly take his hand into yours and shake it “pleasure doing business with you, Malfoy” you say. Draco crack a smile, shaking your hand for a second before then letting go “Surprised to see Thomas isn’t following you, he usually is” he points out.
and there goes a reminder. Your expression visibly dropped “That’s- well, complicated at the moment” your reply spiked Draco’s interest as he leans against the wall “Do tell“ he gestures with his hand to continue. You eye him up and down, your nose cringing.
“Since when did you care about my life?“ you asked, the question sounding a bit harsher then you intended it too. Draco only shrugs “I’m bored, humor me L/n“ you chuckle at his words and shrugged as well. No harm in telling him anything. 
☼-♥-☼
“Wow“ Draco breathed, his grey eyes slightly widened as you finished retelling the embarrassing events of last night “And you just ran off? Don’t think that was a good idea” he adds, turning his head to face you as you both leaned on the wall.
you exhale, a solemn look on your face “I know, i’m just not good with confrontation. I curl up into a ball and clam up, like i can’t speak” you explain. Draco nods along, listening to what you had to say “He’s your best friend, been your best friend for years. Talk to him, avoiding it will make it worst”
“Wow, that actually was helpful. You’ve surprised me Malfoy”  you give hi a mock astonished look, making him roll his eyes. “Yeah whatever, now go away. I have to help them carry Theo back into the common room“ he pushed off the wall, standing straight.
“Tell Theo i’m sorry when he wakes up“ you turn on your heels and begin to walk down the stone hall, taking in a deep breath. Everything was going to be fine, no worries. Nothing at all.
☼-♥-☼
your first thought was to check the courtyard, it’s where you, Blaise, Neville, and Seamus hung out between classes. It was a good place to start. Stepping outside, you feel the gentle cold breeze nip your face causing a light shiver to run up your spine.
wrapping your arms around yourself you walk along the grass until you spot the familiar tree you all sat under. It instantly brought you back to the first time you had sat under it.
--
second year
“Found you“
your head snaps to your left where the voice came from. Dean, out of breath and wiping sweat from his forehead. You looked confused as he took a step towards you “You were looking for me?” you asked, head tilting ever so slightly to the side. 
Dean looks at you like you had just asked a silly question, chuckling “Of course, you seemed upset a lunch as well so i wanted to check up on you” he said, taking a seat next to you in the grass. You avoided looking at him by pulling out blades of grass and ripping them apart.
after an awkward amount of time of silence, mostly on your part, Dean reach for the grass next to your hands and began to pull it out of the earth as well “What’re you doing?” you ask, still looking at the ground. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. We can just sit here if that makes you feel better too”
weirdly enough, it did. Just having him sit there made your bad day feel slightly better. You couldn’t explain it, but his presence alone was comforting and made you feel more at ease. “If that’s what you want of course” he adds, his pinky extending out to tap your hand, just light enough not to make you tense.
you couldn’t bring yourself to respond verbally and nodded a few times. You hear Dean hum as he continues to copy what your doing. You both sat in silence and stayed there for an hour or so, just soaking up each others company. 
that was the moment you knew Dean Thomas was a true friend
--
“Y/n!“ you hear a shout, bringing you out of your wholesome memory and back to reality. Seamus and Neville were running up to you with confused looks on there faces “What?“ you say, meeting them halfway. As soon as you were grabbing distance, Seamus places his hands on your shoulders and shakes you
“What are you doing here!?“ he shouts while you feel as if your brain is about to knock off of its stem and kill you “What’re you talking about? and stop shaking me!“ you yank his hands off of you. Seamus rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath like he’s about to talk a lot, and talk a lot he did. 
“So after your almost kiss with Dean he told us by the way, he wanted to talk to you so we told him you’d most likely be in the dungeons giving Malfoy a tongue lashing“ Seamus explained before gasping for air. Neville puts a hand on his mate’s shoulder “He kind of thinks you don’t like him. Never seen him so upset before“
processing on the information you were just given, you thank the both of them and run back into the building. This school was huge, no wonder you didn’t run into Dean on the way back or even see him once. Nonetheless, you were determined to find him.
(Filled with determination- get it? Undertale reference)
☼-♥-☼
it took you a good ten to fifteen minutes to get back to the dungeons. You walked fast paced against the cobble ground until you reached the Slytherin portrait. There stood the familiar faces of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. They noticed you instantly giving you a confused look.
“Your boyfriend is looking for you“ Pansy snickered, clearly amused by something. You let of a sigh, a hand running through your hair “Yeah i know, do you know where he went?“ you asked, already tired of walking around this shit school. 
just kidding, Dumbledore if you could here there thoughts, they’re kidding 
“We told him you were going to potions“ Draco said which floored you because why in Godric’s name would he say that. The Slytherin boy seemed to catch your confusion and gave you a ‘are you dumb?’ look. “Yesterday, in class, you offered to help Snape organize the stockroom?”
oh shit
you let out what can only be described as a sound of frustration as you realized you were going to be murdered by Snape before you could ever find Dean. You wished that you could apparate, but it was against school rules to apparate inside the school, aka as soon as you would do it, it would teleport you to Dumbledore’s office instead. 
funny enough you could apparate from outside to inside the school with zero repercussions. The rule was ancient and so was Dumbledore, you had a feeling it wouldn’t change in your life time. “Right, thanks. I have to go” you say and give them a lazy wave. 
“Go get your man Y/n! Then tell me all about it!“ you heard Pansy shout as you walk away. 
☼-♥-☼
twelve minutes to get to potions. As soon as you pushed open the door you let the string of apologies fly “I’m so sorry Professor Snape, i completely forgot about helping out- Today has been super stressful and-” you were cut off by Snape himself. 
“Silence, your....friend already told me all about your little issue as much as i didn’t want to hear it. Your free to deal with your teenage drama as long as it’s away from my classroom” he lifts his hand up, gesturing for you to go away like he requested. 
he was surprisingly understanding, which was weird
“Oh um- Thank you, professor. May i ask where Dean said he was off to?“ You asked, fully knowing you might be pushing your luck and his sudden kindness. Snape sighs, dramatically you’d like to add “He didn’t say or he did and i didn’t care enough to listen“
“Right uh, thank you anyway. Goodbye Professor“ you laugh nervously. That quick kindness had run out. Snape only grumbles and you take that moment to walk out the classroom, feeling that little bubble of stress you usually got from talking to Snape fade away.
taking a few steps back you look at the potions door, god you’ve hated that class since first year. Potions were never your strong suit, you were more into astronomy or herbology. Snape never made it any better with his attitude,but he had always been like that.
fifth year was probably the worse
--
fifth year
it was the beginning of your fifth year and one of your earlier classes was potions. What a dreadful way to start the morning. Today you were instructed to brew a draught of peace, which was currently bringing you anything but peace at the moment.
you just couldn’t understand the instructions. Like at all. It was supposed to be a turquoise blue color when finished, but kept turning a dark purple instead. You only had about half an hour to get it right or you were going to fail your first potions lesson for the year.
at one point you got so frustrated, you slammed the ladle on the table but it was already pretty noisy, so no one really turned there head at the noise. “Someone’s cranky” you heard a snicker beside you, which you knew well enough to know it belonged to Dean Thomas.
“Try frustrated, i have to be the dumbest wizard in the entire wizarding world to not get this“ you sigh, crossing your arms as you stare at the dark purple liquid, the mere sight of it mocked your livelihood. Dean shook his head, stifling some laughter as he grabbed the handles of your cauldron.
“You continue to pout while i go dump this”
pout? you weren’t pouting. You rolled your eyes as he comes back, placing the cauldron back down onto your work space “Alright so you added all the ingredients right, but your stirring it to much and the wrong way“ he spoke as he added all the ingredients back in.
once he tilts the mortar and pestle, pouring the crushed unicorn hair into the liquid he smiles warmly “Alright now grab the ladle” he instructs and you, begrudgingly do so. Dean nods and moves to step behind you. As you go to turn around Dean places his hands on your arms, keeping them in place.
you tense almost instantly as his hands travel down your clothed arms until they rest on your own hands. He’s literally pressed against you, not rough or anything like that though. His head moved off to the side a bit “You stir like this” he begins to move your hand with his in the correct motion.
 you honestly didn’t know how to feel.
as he slowly stirred the magical liquid he says something else to you “It’s okay to get frustrated, it’s also okay to ask for help. I’m here if you need me Y/n” he spoke and let go for hand, which suddenly felt a whole lot colder then it did a second ago.
Dean returns back to your side and smiles proudly once he looks into the cauldron “See, easy” he says. You pull out the ladle and look in to see that beautiful turquoise color you had waited to see the entire class period. Thank Godric, actually thank Dean. Speaking of that.
“Thanks Dean, i was about ready to pull out my hair“ you joke, placing your hands on the table. Dean chuckles and places on of his hands on top of yours. You tensed again, feeling light and warm as the pad of his thumb rubs the skin of your hand. “Like i said, i’m here for you, in any and every way possible“
his words made you feel even lighter if that was possible as you tried to contain a bright smile
that was the moment you knew you liked Dean Thomas
--
you sigh, pulling yourself out of your happy memory. How were you going to find Dean?
☼-♥-☼
late evening 
after leaving Snape’s class you, funny enough, kept running into Seamus and Neville who kept pointing you into different directions or places. You were quite literally running around the school like a lunatic. Your current location was the library and library you went. 
since you were absolutely terrified of Madam Pince, you made sure you cautiously open the door as you walk in as well as closing it. Looking around, you don’t see any familiar faces which had you already feeling doubtful, but you still had to look behind the tall bookshelves. 
you decided to take the left side first and begin to walk through the middle isle with haste as you look around. No, nope, nothing, and disappointed. Jumping off the astronomy tower looked appealing at the moment. Alright, other side. You walked with the same fast pace, checking behind each shelf. 
after about four rows, you come face to face with a freckled boy, causing you to jump back “Godric” you put your hand over your heart like an old man about to have a heart attack. “Ron, your ugly face is scaring students” you heard a male voice say.
wait, did he just say Ron?
you take a few steps back, yeah that was them. You first friends at Hogwarts. You saw them almost every week, but haven’t talked to them since your first year at Hogwarts. This was gonna be awkward, you could already tell. “Sorry ‘bout him, I’m Harry and these are my friends Hermione and Ron”
Ron steps back to stand next to Hermione. They all looked at you like your a new person they have never met before. You honestly didn’t know how to react. On one hand, it was kind of funny they didn’t recognize you. On the other hand, it felt kinda shitty.
you force out a bitter laugh, shaking your head “I- I’m floored that you don’t remember me and as funny as it is, i’m looking for someone” you say, about to excuse yourself from this mind numbing situation. “Wait! We know you?” Hermione cuts in, raising her hand a bit.
exhaling, you nod “It’s me. Y/n, Y/n L/n” you introduce yourself, like all those years ago. Watching there eyes widen one by one almost made you laugh “Oh my, Y/n. It’s been so long” Hermione smiles nervously. As evil as it was, you were kind of enjoying the awkwardness.
“Yeah it has, lovely to see you lot. Lets get together next decade where you can forget me all over again“ you had to admit, it was kind of mean but you were busy at the moment. “Wait Y/n, can we talk?“ Harry steps towards you, a look of shame on his face. Good.
did you really want to hear some shitty apology? You didn’t want them or blame them either. You were eleven year olds and children loose friends all the time. There wasn’t any deeper meaning, at least to you there wasn’t, but some part of you wanted to know why? Why were you abandoned?
“I have a lot going on right now, so make it quick Potter“
Harry smiles as he gestures for you to sit down at the table they were currently residing in. You follow him and take the seat across from the other three. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all sit down, looking as nervous and anxious as ever while you were tapping your foot against the ground, impatiently.
“We wanted to say we were sorry, for how we treated you in first year“ Harry starts, the other two nodding along. “Can i get a reason? If you didn’t want to be my friend you could of just told me. Instead you left me alone“ you fold your arms over your chest, already wanting this to be over with. 
“You changed“ Hermione said. You expression shifted to confusion, scoffing “I changed? How?“ you asked. Godric it was a bad idea to listen to these guys. “You started hanging out with Malfoy, he turned you into some kind of menace. All you two did was pull tricks on each other back and forth“
okay so maybe this wasn’t the first prank war you’ve had with Malfoy
and it wont be the last either
“Seriously, you dropped me because i hung out with Draco? Yeah he’s a bit of an asshole, but he’s just all bark no bite“ you shrug your shoulders, maybe you were bias since you guys had been ‘friends’ for awhile now if you could call each other that.
“He’s a Slytherin“ Ron chimes in, looking as if he’s disgusted to say the word. “Ron” Harry warned, whacking his friends arm. Oh you were so not doing this house variably bullshit. Okay, maybe you had a ‘house prank war’ but that was all in good fun.
“I’m done here, i think i dodged a bullet with avoiding you guys all these years“ pushing off of your chair, you stand up ready to leave. Harry stands up the second you do “Sorry about them and they both can have there own opinions, but i know what we did was wrong and i just wanted to say i’m sorry“
looking at Harry, you could tell he was being genuine. Well at least one of them was. “Thanks Potter, now i have to go find someone” you try to make your escape again when you hear footsteps behind you. Stopping you see Harry at your side “Yes?”
“Who’re you looking for, maybe I've seen them?“ He offers. You assumed he was trying to be helpful as an apology. “Dean Thomas, know him?“ you ask, watching as his eyebrows furrow “Yeah but haven’t seen him- wait, it’s curfew in twenty minutes“
“Yeah, so?“
“He’s a Gryffindor, which means he’s heading back to the common room right this moment“ Harry points out, a light smile on his face. Your eyes widen and you throw your arms around the boy. You feel Harry tense, but still wrap his arms around you “Your a genius Potter“
“It’s common sense?“ he looks confused as you pull away from him. You tell him goodbye and that you two could catch up on a later date. 
☼-♥-☼
you push through students on the staircase who were trying to the Gryffindor common room as well. Once you make it to the top, a student in front of you whispers the password “Dilligrout” the portrait opened and a wave of students filed in. 
someone shoulder checked you when you made it in yourself, but you were to preoccupied with finding your friend? Crush? Person you had a crush on...yeah that works. All the students who came in had immediately filed down the hall to go to the dorms. 
silence took over and once again you were in a empty room, your shoulder dropping a bit “Found you” that familiar voice breathed out. You spin on your feet to see Dean Thomas leaning against the wall, huffing as he reached to wiped sweat that had gathered on his forehead. 
“You were looking for me?” you quipped back, obviously joking. Dean seems to catch on rather quickly and flashes a grin “Of course, you seemed upset after last night” he tells you, your expression dropping at the mention of the night before. He notices.
stepping forward, he takes your hand in his, gently leading you to the sofa. That cursed sofa. Once you both take a seat Dean clears his throat, his hand still intertwined with yours “How’re you feeling?” he asked, a worry glint in his eyes. Of course that’s the first question he asked. 
“Nervous, anxious, something like that, but also scared“ you admit, while your free hand scratches the side of your neck. “What would you have to scared off?“ Dean had a sympathetic smile on his face, one that you had seen many times before.
you chuckle, thinking that what you were going to say had been the most obvious thing in the world. “That your going to stop being my friend because we almost kissed?” you said, but it sounded more like a question instead of a statement. 
a, what you would call dramatic sigh escapes Dean’s mouth “I’m the one who initiated the kiss Y/n. I wanted it because i hoped you wanted the same thing, you do, right?” his voice wavers a bit, his confidence dropping with every word. 
“Yes, i have for a long time” you confess. Dean’s smile was a mile long as he lifts your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your knuckles “I wish we told each other this last night instead on running around to find each other all day” you both laugh at the situation.
“Yeah, now that i think about it. I could of sent you a howler” you say, exhaling loudly. How come you didn’t think of that sooner “Yeah, i guess we both didn’t think much” Dean then scoots closer to you on the sofa, his hand still holding your gently. 
not having the courage to speak, you simply sit there as Dean lets go of your hand and cups your face instead. Your breath hitched as you feel his thumbs moving up and down each temple on the side of your head. He still had that dopey smile on his face too.
after what feels like forever, Dean closes the gap between you both, kissing you softly. His head tilts to the left as he continues to kiss you. You swore you could feel everything in you become as light as a feather. Kissing Dean Thomas was something else.
a couple more seconds pass by before he pulls away, a smug grin gracing his face “can we take this to my dorm? We’ve gathered an audience” his eyes glanced to the right of you. Turning your head in his hands, you see Neville and Seamus
“Do you all mind?“
“No, keep going“ Seamus waved with his hand, smiling at you both. Dean rolls his eyes as he stands up from the couch, grabbing your hand to drag you along with him. “We’re so happy it worked out“ Neville had a gleeful look on his face as Dean dragged you past them.
“Try to keep things quiet in there lovebirds!“ Seamus calls out as you and Dean walk down the hall. You scoff, shaking your head. Seamus was something else. Once you both reach Dean’s door, he opens it, allowing you to step inside “No promises!“ he yells before stepping inside himself and shutting it.
covering your mouth, you laugh into the back of your hand until what he said registers in your mind “Wait what?”
☼-♥-☼
Kody- It’s been a hot minute ngl. Um- i’m trying to find a regular schedule update every month, but honestly something called sleep and depression has been kicking my ass. Hope you enjoy this fic..requests are open. Anyways, peace. 
☼-♥-☼
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ptergwen · 4 years ago
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Hey could you write one where the reader helps tom, who's heavily drunk, get home? Somehow tonight he's a sad drunk and cries about random things to the reader it amuses the reader, but later surprised when tom cries saying that he thinks the reader is dating someone else because he saw the reader going out with a guy days before??
warnings: lots of drinking mentions and swearing
a/n: woah this is pretty long 😭 got a little carried away heh enjoy
-
“you’re where?” you ask into the phone, eyebrows furrowed as you try to make sense of tom’s drunken speech.
he seems to have gotten himself into a little bit of trouble. all his critical thinking skills blocked out by the alcohol, he ended up calling you. you’re now determined to find out where your friend is and help him home. tom has a track record for doing stupid shit when he’s drunk.
“th’ pub,” tom slurs back. “you wanna join me? have a drink?” you can hear the smirk in his voice. he’s leaning on the bar, but his arm slides and draws an oh, shit out of him. so he doesn’t hear your giggling, you put a hand over your mouth. “y/n/n, you coming?” he asks sort of desperately once he has his balance.
“yeah, tom. i’m on my way,” you reply and head to your front door, keys already in your hands. “hurry,” he commands, then takes a sip of beer from his nearly empty bottle. he’s not making this easy for you. the drunker he gets, the harder it is to drag his ass out of there. “i am, i am. see you soon.” you hang up with a sigh.
it doesn’t take you long to get to the pub, which is a good and sometimes bad thing, this time good. you find parking and speed walk inside. your eyes instantly scan the place for your buzzed best friend. he’s not hard to find in one of his signature white t-shirts, hair slicked back. he’s hunched over in the stool, and his head is down. that’s concerning.
the bartender is cleaning up a spill nearby him when you approach the bar. tom whines out a series of, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i’m really sorry,” to him. he’s crying. weeping would be more accurate. his whole body moves while he sobs into his arms. you sit down next to him and put a hand on his back.
he looks over at you with tears falling down his cheeks. “tom, what happened?” you frown, already turned to face him. his eyes water again. “i- i spilled my drink and it got all over and i feel so bad, y/n,” tom tells you in a high pitched tone, the bartender placing down another beer in front of him.
you shoot him a glare because he’s clearly had enough. he swings the rag he was using to clean over his shoulder and shrugs. isn’t part of his job knowing when to cut people off?
“thank you,” tom mumbles to the guy, who gives him a nod before tom grabs the beer off the counter. you snatch it away from him. “oh, no. that’s enough already.” you put his drink down on the other side of you. that encourages tom to cry some more, hiding his face in his arms for a second time. “no fair!” he yells and sounds like a child while doing it.
“you’re gonna have a really bad hangover, or puke this all up, or both,” you explain your confiscation to him. “probably both.” tom lifts his head up, eyes sad yet hopeful at the same time. he grabs your hand with both of his. “will you take care of me?” the question, mostly how he asks it, makes your heart clench.
“of course. let’s get you home, okay?” you stand up and loop an arm around his back. tom follows suit, you pulling him towards you and grabbing his jacket off the stool. “no, i wanna stay with you.” he insists, stumbling forward as you lead him towards the exit. you’re hoping he already paid because you don’t feel like that sketchy bartender coming after you.
“sure, you can spend the night. we haven’t had a sleepover in a while,” you agree, pushing open the door with your foot, arms preoccupied with tom. your offhanded joke makes him emotional again. there’s more to it, though. “it’s- it’s been so long,” tom sniffles out. “aw,” you chuckle and tighten your arm around him.
he used to stay over your place a lot before he moved in with the boys and harry. he misses being able to crawl into your bed and snore while you lay in his arms. you also miss it, so it’s funny how neither of you have said anything.
the tears in tom’s eyes make his vision blurry, which in turn makes him trip over a rock. “sorry, man,” he apologizes to it, you steadying him and letting out another laugh. he’s funny when he’s so far gone. “we’re almost at the car,” you let him know with a tiny smile. “‘mkay,” tom nods and wipes his tears away, leaning into you for the rest of the way there.
tom does fine for most of the car ride. there’s an incident where he gags and you almost pull over, but he ends up not needing it. he feels so awful he nearly puked in your car that it makes him cry yet again. you promise him it’s fine, that you don’t mind and everything is fine. you’ve never seen drunk or sober tom act like this.
you bring him straight to your room when you get home, dropping him on the bed and huffing. tom falls onto his back. he closes his eyes and purses his lips. “do you need anything?” you pant, answering yourself before he does. “you should have some water.” “ok,” tom mumbles and drags his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “ma’am,” he adds.
rolling your eyes, you make your way to the kitchen to get him a water bottle. you start to wonder why he got so plastered in the first place. seeing him in this state beyond worries you. you love tom too much to watch him fall apart. you really love him.
you come back to your room and flick on the lights. tom throws an arm over his head, mouth agape and a groan escaping it. “shit, sorry,” you giggle, shutting the lights off. “you’re a madwoman,” he rasps back. he sounds slightly more aware of himself now. “well, you’re a madman. here.” you toss him the water.
tom obviously doesn’t catch it, so it lands on his stomach. he rips off the cap and goes to take a sip while laying down. he’ll throw up for real this time if he does that.
“tom, tom, tom,” you murmur to yourself in a playfully disapproving tone. you take a seat next to him, tugging at his hand to get him to sit up. he smiles lazily and brings the bottle to his lips, watching a smile spread across your own face while he takes a sip. the two of you make eye contact for long enough that you notice something visibly shift within him.
tom looks down at his lap instead, taking his mouth off the water with a pop. he then exhales through his nose rather reflectively. you take notice of that, squinting at him in the dark. “what?” you wonder aloud. a few seconds go by without tom saying anything, deciding if it’s worth bringing up. he figures he might as well say it because it’ll come out eventually.
“the other day,” tom starts, voice deep and alcohol still in his system. “were you out with someone? a guy?” you’re not quite sure what he’s referring to. “huh?” is all you say back. “harry was picking up dinner, said he saw you on a date at the restaurant.” he gets quieter during the second part, almost upset. you sit up from the comfortable position you were in.
“harry was there? i didn’t know that,” you tell him as you try to piece together the story. tom takes that as confirmation. “so, you were on a date?” he caps the water and throws it somewhere on your bed. “i need another drink.” “it wasn’t a date- hang on.” it finally clicks with you why he was getting wasted by himself in the latest hours of the night.
“you were drinking because you thought i went on a date?” you ask tom softly, another smile pulling at your lips. “um...” he blows out of his mouth and nods, still nodding as he speaks. “yeah. made me feel shitty.” what you said now registers with him. he perks up ever so slightly. “but, you said it wasn’t a date?” “no,” you quickly dismiss. “he’s in one of my classes.”
“we were working on an assignment, and i thought having him over would give him the wrong idea.” you’re grinning by the end of your explanation because of what you feel is about to come next. tom beams back at you, moving closer to you on the bed. “good,” he affirms and brings a hand up to your cheek. his wide pupils search yours, thumb brushing your skin.
“‘cuz i like you, and love you.” his voice drops to a whisper. “love you a lot.” “i like you too,” you breathe out, enjoying the way his warm hand makes your skin tingle. “and, i love you.” “wish i knew that before i got fucking pissed,” tom mumbles, but seems unbothered because he leans in to kiss you. you’re met with his beer breath before giving him a push back.
“speaking of, you’re still drunk,” you laugh and comb your fingers through his matted curls. “i’m not,” tom protests, ducking away from you. scoffing, you retract your hand with a knowing look. “you are. i can smell it. we should go to sleep, tom.” he caves and lays down, letting his head fall in your lap. “fine. can we at least cuddle?”
he’s relentless.
but, you say yes.
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imagine-that-100 · 4 years ago
Text
Why No Answer? | Part 2 |
Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’re woken up in the middle of the night to find Alex drunk and high on your doorstep. Looking after him proves to be a tiring and revealing ordeal.
Word Count: 12.8k
Warnings: Angst (from the past) but lots of fluff.
A/N: So this was requested by the lovely @psychkunox​, really hope you enjoy this. I don’t know what happened, but I got very carried away with the word count yet again sorry about that ahha. I would recommend watching the Restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally either before or after you read. It’s quite comical and will give you more context. Anyway though, Likes, Reblogs, and Feedback is always appreciated, but thank you all for reading, I really hope you all enjoy xx
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Read Part 1: | Here | 
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“Al stop.” You scorn him in a whisper as he once again kisses the back of your neck as you stand in the queue for Space Mountain.  
You really tried not to indulge in the feeling of his lips on your skin because it was an extremely addicting sensation. But you were in public, in Disney World of all places where everyone had their phones and cameras out, and the band were all standing in front of you in the queue.
“Alex.” You whisper shout again and pull yourself out of the hold he had on your hips when you felt him do it again.
You turn around and shake your head when you note the mischief in his eyes and the slight smirk gracing his pretty lips. You wanted nothing more to have them on your own in such a beautiful place but that couldn’t happen since you both decided you wanted to keep your relationship between yourselves for a while longer.
You were their photographer which meant that you didn’t want things to get weird with them on tour. And after you and Alex both decided to keep your relationship on the downlow when you initially started going out with each other, you sort of wanted to keep it that way, so nothing changed the dynamic of your group.  
You were only 2 years younger than Matt and Alex, 3 years younger than Jamie and Nick, so you’d always been pretty close with them all. You thought of them all as your brothers as you were growing up as Alex had gone to the same primary school as you and Matt and they had been best mates since the beginning.
They met Jamie and Nick in High School along with Andy who was obviously initially in the band, before he stepped down and Nick took over. They had always been your family who’d taken good care of you and you knew just how lucky you were to have them all.
But obviously to them you’d always been Matt’s little, and sometimes annoying, sister. When they were 14/15 they all wanted nothing to do with you and you were certain Alex had hated you once upon a time, but that might have been because you were a 12 year old who’d started growing up having crushes on all of your brothers friends.
Thankfully they didn’t disown you completely as when you reached the less annoying age of 15, they didn’t seem to push you out as much. You liked hanging out with all of them, and you saw them more because they always had to come to your house because Matt couldn’t move the drum kit unless it was for a gig.  
You’d always liked music as it had always been an escape for you. Like when the band were first starting out when you’d go up to your bedroom to escape the utter shit music they were making, and you’d have your Pulp and Blur records on.
There was a new band you actually introduced them too at the time which was The Strokes, which is comical in hindsight because if you’d never told Alex and Matt to listen to that record when they caught you humming along to Barely Legal, you weren’t sure Alex would have had the motivation to keep the band going and get it as big as they had become.
It wasn’t a secret that Alex’s hero was Julian Casablancas.
A few years later the band was getting bigger and the excitement in your household at them potentially making it big was intense. So much so that your Mum and Dad threw a party for them all when they got scouted and got the record deal.
It was at that party that Matt and Alex drunkenly agreed to let you be their photographer as soon as you were done with your photography apprenticeship. It was something they never forgot though and they did actually let you become their photographer.
So as soon as your apprenticeship finished in the summer of 2006, your 18-year-old self joined the lads on their tour. To say it was a dream come true would be an understatement.
Both you and Matt had loved photography your entire lives, stemming from when your Grandma bought you both a digital camera each one year for Christmas. Since then, it’d become your passion and your plan was to be a photographer anyway.
But being the photographer for Arctic Monkeys meant that you got to travel the world and see places you never thought you would, and you never got home sick because you already had your family around you.
You honestly adored your job.
In the breaks between their tours and them writing new material you would take other photography jobs in the years off, but that didn’t really happen for the first four years of them all being big.
Alex asked Domino if you could do their The Age of the Understatement tour too which you were surprised by, but of course you did it. A job was a job and you weren’t going to turn it down just because your brother wasn’t there.
Usually on the tours you’d stay in a separate bus from the lads because after the first week into the first tour you joined them on you saw what an absolute shit tip they all created. They were all revolting and all typical lads, being messy, every other sentence was a sex joke, and they were just revolting creatures.
To you it was genuinely a surprise they actually showered after every gig.
But thankfully with the years passing and being on tour busses became a constant for them instead of something new and exciting, they all got better. So, their Suck It And See tour was the first full tour you’d actually stayed in the bus with them.
Although sometimes you wished you hadn’t because that tour was where he met Breana and you definitely heard things you’d never want to hear again. You don’t know how the other lads weren’t scarred from the noises that came out of Matt’s bunk those nights.
All you had to say about it was thank god for earphones and ear defenders.
But you think it was on that tour that you started getting closer to Alex and the other lads. Mostly due to Matt being a love stuck puppy who spent most of his time with Breana but also because you didn’t want to burden him with your emotions.
About a month before the Suck It And See tour started in the February of 2011, your arsehole of a boyfriend texted you saying that he didn’t want to see you anymore. He was an arsehole for doing it over text and then not answering your calls afterwards, but he was an even bigger arsehole for getting with who you thought was your best friend as soon as the tour started.
Matt and the lads obviously knew about the breakup but due to them all having no social media none of them knew what your best friend had done to you. So, you cried about that betrayal in your bunk at night when you knew everyone else was asleep and you cried when you found moments of solitude.
They had enough going on with interviews and tours and you didn’t want them to burden them with your issues too. But that stopped when Alex walked in on your crying in the back lounge of the bus about a month into the tour.
Your ex best friend had just posted a picture of her and your ex who you still had the misfortune of having feelings for and you just crumbled. When you saw it you just couldn’t bear the thought of being around anyone else, so you slipped out of their presence and cried your way back to the tour bus.
Thankfully no one followed you in your time of crisis which meant that you got your uncontrollable sobs out of the way alone. But of course, someone came back to the bus and found you.
And that person was Alex.
He’d come back for another pack of fags needing the extra nicotine in the hours before a show. But all thoughts of that stopped when he heard crying come from the back end of the bus.
He walked past the bunks and opened the door into the back lounge to find you sat on the floor with your head buried into your knees and sobs were ringing in his ears. His heart dropped at the sight.
“Y/N what's wrong?” Alex asks, rushing over to you.
And when you didn't answer he called your name again. “Y/N?”
But you just shake your head and continue sobbing into your knees. So he begs, “Please talk to me, love”
He was kneeling down beside you, his hand coming to the back of your head as if to slowly coax you out of your hiding stop. And after stroking the back of your head for a minute, your head rises from your hiding spot but your eyes remain shut and you continue to sob.
Alex tries his best to coax you out of your sobs but you’re pretty much hyperventilating in front of him. After another one of the longest minutes of Alex’s life he manages to get you to slow your cries enough for words to fall from your lips.
“My life’s falling apart” You sob, still refusing to look at him. Your breathing is better but still erratic when you continue to tell him in a pain stricken voice, “I can’t carry on crying myself to sleep like this every night... I- I just want to feel normal again”
“What’s happened? Why are you upset?” Alex begs for you to tell him, ripping the tears from under your eyes.
The only thing that comes to mind is your previous relationship, so Alex asks, “Is it about your ex?”
You nod, tears still pouring down your eyes, “He’s taken everything Alex... My life is fucking ruined”
“No he hasn’t Y/N. You’re here, you’ve got us” He tries to assure you, but you just shake your head.
After a second you open your watery eyes and Alex can see how much pain they hold. They somehow contain even more when you speak the words out loud, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”
Even Alex’s blood runs cold when he hears that. His words almost get caught in his throat when he asks, “What?”
You nod, sniffling a bit and wiping your own tears from your cheeks when you repeat, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”
“Please tell me you’re joking” The words fall from his mouth before he can stop them.
You and your best friend had been together since day one, like you’d practically been friends since birth. You were practically sisters.
It was only the odd time Alex would come to yours and Matt’s house growing up and Y/B/F wasn’t there with you. You were the annoying girls he couldn’t escape.
Not that he still felt like that as you yourself had become a really good friend but back when you were 12 you were both so fucking annoying. But everyone knew that your and Y/B/F came as a pair.
You were the best of friends, and completely inseparable.  
“I don’t think I’d be on the floor crying if I was joking Alex.” You whine, trying your best to stop your tears now someone else was with you.  
You nod towards your phone that you threw on the sofa when you walked in the room and say, “Just look”
So Alex does. He takes your phone off the side and unlocks it knowing your password was your birthday and he quickly puts the numbers in and watches as it unlocks.
And his heart sinks at the proof that lays in his hands. There on the screen he can clearly see the picture of your best friend and your ex-boyfriend quite clearly together.
They were posed in the way couples typically posed for pictures and then there was another of them at the same party and they stood kissing, and Alex found it repulsive.
“This isn’t okay.” Alex looks up from the phone to see your head no leaning back against the settee, tears falling freely down your cheeks now.
You make no effort to look at him when you say, “I know.”
“Why didn’t Matt tell me?” Alex asks, a little confused.
Surely this was something that was to be at least hushedly whispered to the people closest to you.
“Because he doesn't know.” You say simply.
“Why?” He asks, locking the phone so you didn’t see the pictures again.
You told Matt everything these days. There was no point in secrets between you as you were adults and you cared for the other’s well-being.
You’d always been open with each other, minus the time that you went out to a party when you were 16 and came back with a series of love bites on your neck. All of the lads had been really shocked when you walked in a little bit tipsy with those on your skin.
Matt had been furious and a little disgusted knowing someone had been touching you in a romantic sense. So, it was no surprise to the other lads that when you were questioned on if something more happened, you pressed your swollen lips together and slipped up to your room denying that anything else had happened.
It was comical because it was clear to everyone else that it had gone further than someone kissing your neck.
Everyone took the piss out of Matt that night saying that someone had just taken his sister's virginity and it left the drummer mortified. But you always denied it to the full band until about 6 months later when Alex had asked you in the kitchen if you were actually lying or not.
Of course, Alex didn’t actually tell any of the others when you confirmed what everyone already knew. But that was the last time you’d ever lied to your brother.
So, hearing that your brother didn’t know about this shocking and frankly disgusting news in your life was concerning.
You looked up towards your brothers’ best mate and told him the truth, “Because I can’t ruin his time with Breana…”
You had to trail off because the lump in your throat was getting too much. So you swallowed it away before continuing, your voice still pained, barely above a whisper, “He really likes her and he doesn’t need to be worrying about me... She could be the mother of his children for all we know... I’m not ruining that chance because my life has fallen apart.”
“He’d understand Y/N/N.” Alex told you, once again leaning forward to wipe away your tears.
You shake your head, “It’s not fair.”
“And you think what’s happened to you is fair?” Alex questions, knowing full well that it wasn’t.
No one deserved this type of betrayal. Especially you.
You just started weeping again then and Alex brought you into his arms, needing to console you in a hug. Thankfully you didn’t resist his hug and Alex let you cry into his shoulder as you clung to him.
After a while of him rubbing your back and whispering you sweet nothings, he had to tell you, “You could have told me Y/N/N.”
You shake your head into his neck then, Alex could still feel the tears falling onto his skin. He just about hears you say into his shoulder, “You’re happy with Arielle, I don’t want you dealing with my shit either.”
“Your family, what hurts you hurts me” Alex tells you, “You’ve always got me Y/N… Always.”
After another five minutes of you both on the floor, Arielle walks in and is immediately worried seeing you sat on the ground crying into Alex’s arms. Alex just politely asked her to go and get Matt though which she did, and you didn’t oppose it.
You couldn’t deal with that on your own any longer and you were thankful for Alex being so kind to you. Your heart just fully melted in your chest later on after everything had been explained to everyone and he pulled you aside and gave you another big hug.
He whispered to you, “You’re going to be okay Y/N/N.” before placing a kiss to the top of your head.
The rest of that tour was filled with him making sure you were always okay and so did the other lads. But maybe it felt more personal to you when Alex checked on you because he was the one that found you.
It was him that just told you to cut them from your life completely and block them on everything as ‘they weren’t good enough for you anyway’. After you did that you felt better about your life. You’d cleared them from your Instagram, leaving no trace on your page that they were ever in your life and it was a difficult purge, but it definitely helped you in the long run.
The years without them in your life were tough but it had proven to be for the best in the end.
Because once upon a time you thought you were going to marry your ex-boyfriend, but now you were standing in Disney World with your boyfriend trying to steal kisses from you. And you wouldn’t change it for the world.
You give your boyfriend of 4 months a warning look, but his eyes just held mischief. You had to remind him, “They are going to see.”
“Then let’s go somewhere else.” Alex says moving back towards you, and ushering you to move up the line a bit.  
“After this we’ll try and escape.” You promise, but he was really shit at turning you down and you wanted it to be believable. “But you have to actually pretend you don’t wanna go.”
He rolls his eyes but sighs, “Fine.”
After Space Mountain you announced to the lads that you wanted to go see the Disney characters next which they all groaned at. You first of all pleaded with Matt to come with you knowing he wouldn’t before the rest of the lads and one by one they all dismissed you.
The last person you asked was Alex and he surprisingly put up a good fight until you ‘wore him down’ and got your own way. You spent the rest of the afternoon going round with him and getting pictures of the both of you with the characters and you got a nice lady to take a  few pictures of you both outside the castle.
Those were your favourites, especially the one where he was kissing you.
As you were walking back to meet the others who were already back at the bus, you felt the need to tell him something which you’d yet to say. You didn’t think you’d find a better time than walking hand in hand in front of the Disney castle after one of the best days of your life.
So you pause your walk back for a moment to kiss him one last time before you make it back to the others. The kiss was sweet, just like the whole day had been, and you definitely felt like it was the right time to say, “I love you Alex.”
Immediately a smile found its way onto his lips, and he was practically beaming with joy. “You love me?” Alex asks you in a little disbelief.  
“Yeah…” You nod, a massive smile on your lips “A lot as well.”
Alex leant down and kissed you again then, this time though his arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off your feet, spinning you around in his arms. It caused you to giggle into the kiss a little but you loved it.
When your feet touched the ground again Alex told you, “I love you so much Y/N”
“I know.” You grin as he’d already told you once before.
Alex just chuckles at you, “Alright Han Solo” which made you giggle.
“I love you more than anything Al, thank you for making me happy.” You tell him wrapping your arms around him, needing a tight embrace just so he knew you meant every single word.
His arms obviously snake around you, making you feel secure in the warm hug. And your heart melts once more when he kisses your head and says, “I love you more Angel, thank you for letting me make you happy.”
~*~*~*~
“Al.” You said attempting and failing to pull away from the kiss he’d trapped you in.
If you were honest, you really weren’t really putting up much of a fight to stop the kisses. You were in one of their many tents that this festival they were performing at had given them.
There was one for chilling out in, one that was essentially a bar, and a few more you’d yet to explore. But Alex had pulled you into one with the mass of beanbags in it and he wasted no alone time to have his lips connect to yours.
“Yes baby?” He says in his low voice and you could hear his hunger for you in his voice before he kissed you again.
It made your stomach flip as you knew exactly what he was thinking as you’d heard his voice like that many times since you started seeing each other. You both had to show some restraint though as anyone could walk into the tent, there was only a flimsy curtain between inside and outside.
You pull on his hair to make him pull away as you couldn’t do it yourself as he’d trapped you between him and a beanbag. Once his soft lips parted from yours, you told him seriously,  “Wait until the hotel.”
“But I want you now.” Alex then pouts at you, confirming the explicit thoughts that were running through his head.
You tell him truthfully, finding his pout very cute, “And I want you, but I’m not shagging you in a tent.”
“Why?” Alex questions, looking around for a moment before his gorgeous brown eyes meet your Y/E/C ones again. He chuckles, “It's a really posh tent.”
You guess it was too post to actually call it a tent. It was huge for a start and looked very expensive. You definitely felt privileged to get to experience all of this with him and the band.  
“Hun you had me all last night...” You shake your head whilst smiling like an idiot, “You can retrain yourself until we get back.”
“Not easily.” He pouts again and it makes you giggle which he once again finds adorable.
Another kiss is exchanged then but you don't let it get to what it just had been like. You stop it after he tries to distract you and deepen it again but you’re having none of it.
“You need to go or there gunna be like ‘what’s he doing in there?’” You say knowing he’d be asked to drink with them sooner rather than later.
Alex smiles knowing you’re right, but he chuckles when he tells you, “You know we have to tell them at some point, right?”
“Yeah I know, I just want as much of this tour to be as normal as possible.” You say, aimlessly stroking your fingers up and down the short hair on the back of his hair. You grin when you say, “I’d like to escape Jamie’s jokes for as long as possible.”
Alex just laughs then before he pecks your lips once more. “I don’t blame you Angel… But you can handle yourself. We’ll be fine.”
“I know.” You smile, feeling very content in this moment that you had with him. “I love you Al.”
“I love you too.” He tells you before he steals another kiss and gets himself up. “Do you want a drink?”
You shake your head whilst you get yourself comfy on the beanbag, also reaching to the nearby blanket to cover yourself with. “Nah, I’m good thanks. I’m gunna have a nap before the show.”
Alex smiles at you then, turning back towards you when he gets near the curtain to leave. He just stops by the curtain that divides him from outside and when he sees you getting curled up under the blanket.
He can’t help but nod and say, “Yeah.”
“Yeah what?” You ask looking back up to him standing there grinning at you.  
Alex nods down at you in your cosy spot and continues, “Yeah, you were definitely meant for me.”
You grin like an idiot then before you tell him, “Love you baby.”
“Love you too.” Alex smiles and sends a wink your way before he heads out of the tent.  
You can’t help but shut your eyes and snuggle into your new ‘bed’ with a massive grin on your face. But when you hear Miles say, “Oi Al, you dickhead. Come and have a shot.” you just start giggling.
~*~*~*~
You were absolutely plastered, and it was really making Alex laugh. Even more so than it usually would because you were trying your best not to be obvious that you wanted his affection.
You were a clingy drunk which was absolutely fine, and all the lads knew that, but watching you slip up around him and having to make up for it with the other lads was really comical for Alex.
You’d just come over to Alex after you’d beaten him at pool and teased him for being shit. To which Alex was shooting digs back at you but all you did in response was laugh, call him a sore loser and ruffle his perfect hair up which you knew annoyed him.
So Alex had just forced your hands out of his hair by grabbing your wrists and stopping you from doing anything more. He gave you warning looks like he would have done any other time you annoyed him before you got together but you also noted the looks as a reminder of the secret that you’d set out.
That was what led you to sitting on Jamie’s lap and talking his ear off about Katie whilst playing with his wavy hair. He threatened you to get off it, saying he’d cut it all off which you at first drunkenly pleaded with him not too but then you changed your mind saying he could definitely pull off a Peaky Blinders cut.
Once off Jamie you went on to have some flirty banter with Miles as Nick and Jamie played pool. Alex was watching you with an amused look on his face as his best mate was teasing you about not being on the pull whilst being in a bar with everyone.
You came back with things like, “Aw Miles, I couldn’t do that to you. I know you’d cry yourself to sleep if I entertained anyone elses flirting besides yours.”
Alex also found your laugh adorable when Miles kissed you on your cheek and Matt told him to leave you alone and to stop flirting with you. It was times like that that made Alex glad his best mate didn’t know about the two of you yet.
But after Nick’s game of pool finished and Nick won, he was calling it a night, despite it being relatively early. It seemed that you knew your tolerance though and decided to head back to the bus with Nick.
So you then went around the other 4 lads who were staying and made a bit of an effort to kiss them all goodnight, Alex presumed so you could kiss him. Something which proved to be correct because you came to him last after kissing all the other lads, including your brother, on the cheek and came to give him one.
“Thank you for my drinks” You drunkenly smile at him and Alex grins down at you in an amused way.
“You’re welcome love” Alex chuckles at your tipsy state and you then force a hug upon him.
He obviously hugs you back but he’s aware of his mates looking so he doesn’t make it completely obvious that he’s enjoying the hug as much as he is despite him really wanting to. He wanted nothing more than to kiss your lips instead of you leaning in to kiss his cheek.
When you left his arms, he smiled at you and you moved back to your brother and made him give you a hug. Something which Matt did but not without a roll of his eyes, but Alex could tell it was a playful one.
“See you in the morning guys.” You say with a smile after linking your arm through Nick’s so he could help you walk back.
Everyone said bye to you then and their attention was on the new game of pool again. But whilst it was Matt’s go Alex let his eyes focus on you.
You were so cute, he wanted nothing more than to take you back to a hotel away from the others so he could just be with you all night. But Alex also understood why you wanted to keep it a secret for a while longer.
Tours were long, and he knew you’d both be bullied about it for a while from the others, which you were both prepared for. But you were due to be on the road for the next year with AM due out in September.
The plan was to tell them as soon as interviews back home started so you didn’t have to be around the joking for long. Alex was used to it after Alexa and Arielle, but he knew you weren’t, and he respected that.
So that was why he denied it when the lads began to question him on it about 5 minutes after you left.
“What’s going on?” Matt asks as Alex pots another ball into the pool table.  
Alex grins thinking Matt was just fuming he was losing. As Alex moves around the table to eye up another winning shot, he says, “I’m beating you at pool
“No.” Matt shakes his head, earning eye contact from his best mate. “I mean with Y/N/N.”
“What do you mean?” Alex asks as he leans over the table to play his next shot, “She’s just gone back with Nick.”
“Don’t think he means that.” Miles grinned at him after he missed the tricky shot he’d chosen.  
Alex raises his eyebrows in a questioning way, getting the feeling that people were catching on to how you were around each other.
And that suspicion is confirmed when Jamie says, “You’re very touchy with each other.”
“Touchy?” Alex laughs, as he watches your brother take another shot, “Jamie mate, she was on your lap earlier.”
“Yeah, but she keeps like teasing you and messing with your hair and shit.” Matt chips in with his observations after missing his shot on the stripped balls.  
Alex rolls his eyes, “Matt, you literally fucked with my hair earlier today and Jamie did it yesterday... You all like to fucking annoy me by doing that.”
Alex continues to defend the both of you even though he wishes he didn’t have to. “You know what she’s like when she’s drunk, she doesn’t leave anyone alone.”
“He has a point; she didn’t shy away from me kissing her.” Miles points out raising his pint to the drummer.
Matt fakes a gag then and says, “Leave her the fuck alone Kane.”
“But she loves me.” Miles pouts, resting a hand over his heart like Matt’s words had hurt him. “You definitely want me as your brother-in-law.”
Alex smiles to himself knowing that he was now 6 months ahead of Miles in that category. God, he loved you. He could definitely see a bright future with you, and he had every intention to marry you one day in the years to come.
“I’d rather go to a Radiohead gig.” Matt says which earns a laugh from everyone, knowing how the hatred between the bands still hadn’t died out.
~*~*~*~
A month later you thought you were doing well. You were very careful around everyone after Alex told you about the questioning he got after the bar.
You were just normal with each other throughout the days, not overly interacting with each other. But when Alex’s eyes were hidden by his sunglasses, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wonder.
And it definitely helped that it was your job to take pictures of him. You could stare at him all day that way, even if it was through a camera lens.
Moments alone came when you’d stay in the bus when they went on nights out and Alex would venture back early meaning on nights like that, he actually got to give you goodnight kisses like he loved doing. Other moments took place when he would wander off at the multitude of festivals they were doing.
You’d say you were going getting pictures of different acts that no one else wanted to go watch. Alex would say he was going for a walk about 20 minutes later. Purely coincidence that you met up with him on his walk after you’d taken a photo or two.
Other times you snuck into each other's hotel rooms about an hour after you’d all gone your separate ways. But it was your nights in the hotels that you loved the most.
You got your privacy, and it was secure. The same as it was when he came to your house before the tour or when you went to his.
You loved being alone with him.
And tonight, all the other lads had gone out to a party somewhere and Alex had been faking an illness all day so he could stay in and they wouldn’t ask questions. They wouldn’t think it was weird you not going because you rarely went out with them.
They knew you valued your sleep too much.
So that was why you were alone in the back lounge with Alex tonight. And you’d honestly had one of the best nights being your normal cuddly selves.
You’d just watched a film with each other whilst being cuddled up on the sofa and you very nearly fell asleep in his embrace, but you weren’t wasting a full night alone with him. After the film you both went out and got yourselves a takeout from a place just down the road.
You made it into a full date night which was fucking adorable. After food, you coexisted normally for a little while, Alex letting you lean back against him whilst you edited your photos on your night off.
You were a pro at it after so many years, so it took no longer than an hour for the ones promotion wanted of them all. Alex was quite happily watching you edit the pictures of him and his friends as he absentmindedly played with your hair, placed random little kisses on your neck or on the back of your head, and at one point he even sang.
It was a really beautiful song, one that you’d only heard once before when he let you listen to the album when it was finished.
You only knew the title because he said it often in the song but having your boyfriend softly sing Mad Sounds into your ear as you worked you wished you could freeze time and appreciate it. His voice was amazing as everyone knew, but hearing it so close and so soft, it was hard to keep shivers from running down your spine.
“Such a beautiful song Al.” You smile closing your laptop as you’d finished what you needed to do and he’d finished singing.
You turn to him a bit more and he smiles back at you, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. “Like you then.” Alex grins before pressing his lips to yours.
You smile into the kiss as the comment was very adorable of him, but when you pulled back bullying was in order, “You’re so cheesy.”
“You love it.” Alex grins as you get up and put your laptop away, but you grab your small Lumix camera and come to sit back down.
You grin as you come and sit back down, this time straddling his lap so you could get a few close ups of him looking cute. You bring the viewfinder up to your eye and once you see his adorable smile on the other side of the lens you capture the perfection.
“I do.” You grin back at him.
You like that Alex never shies away from you when you have a camera in your hand. You knew after this much time that he trusted you with what you were capturing, especially in these moments together they wouldn’t be seen by anyone else.
“However…” You say, putting the camera down for a moment, “Me and your music are nothing alike.”
Alex frowns at you a little then, his hands running up your thighs, pulling you a little closer, “I think a certain track and our text message history would claim otherwise.”
You roll your eyes then knowing he was talking about Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? But when he grins at your eye roll you quickly snap another picture of him.
“I guess I shouldn't have got involved with a lyricist if I didn't want songs about me, should I?” You ask with a knowing smirk as you pull the camera away from your face.
You don’t bother checking it on the screen as it pops up, you already knew it would be a good picture. Not because you took it, but because it was of him and he was happy.
“No, probably not.” Alex chuckles as he takes the camera from you before raising it to take one of you.
You give him a pointed look after the photograph and joke, “You better hope you get to release your B-sides before Matt catches on.”
“I’ll be murdered, I have no doubt.” Alex grins and you burst out laughing at him being dramatic.
Alex thinks you look gorgeous though, so he raises your camera back up and you let him, not having a problem with him taking your picture. You smile at first but after he gets the first picture, he keeps looking through the viewfinder so you then puff your cheeks out jokingly and move closer to the camera.
Alex chuckles from behind it and he moves the camera from his face so you can both giggle together. He steals a kiss from you which you gladly accept, and you can't help but bite your lip afterwards.
He just looked so good. His skin was flawless these days and the fact that all of his fair wasn’t around his face anymore made his stunning jawline stand out. His brown eyes that were usually always hidden by sunglasses were shining brightly and the smile on his lips really showed how happy he was.
And seeing him happy made you happy. You could safely say you truly loved him. You’d do anything to keep you both as happy as you are now.
Whilst you’re deep in thought, Alex raises your camera back up to his eye which breaks your daydreaming about his features and you playfully roll your eyes.
“Smile for me Angel.” He asks and you do for one shot because he is pretty cute and pretty impossible not to smile at.
“Beautiful.” Alex confirms when he quickly looks down at the screen seeing the picture, he just caught of you.
“Like you then.” You use his own words against him with a playful smile.
Alex then puts your camera down to the side and with his newly free hand he cups the back of your neck and mumbles a ‘very good’ before bringing you in for a kiss. Playful and sweet were the only ways to describe it.
You just adored this alone time with him, sitting on his lap at the back bus, which was usually a very crowded area for you all to use, and you were kissing each other like it was just yesterday you got together. Everything still felt just as exciting and new and you never wanted his lips off yours.
You loved that it was you who got to run your fingers through his hair and pull on it when you wanted a kiss to carry on longer, like you just did. You loved the way his large hands held your hips, keeping you close to him.
But mostly you loved that he was always wanting affection. You’d not been in a relationship for a very long time so it made you nervous initially but there was something about Alex that you craved, and his affection was definitely one of those things that you were addicted to now.
You never wanted moments like these to end. But of course, that wouldn’t be realistic.
“I fucking knew it!”
You both pull away from each other to see Jamie with his jaw agape by the door. And your heart dropped to the ground.
“Jamie.” Alex says before Jamie can run out of the room.
“Oh I can’t fucking believe it.” He says, still stood there with his jacket in his hand but he looks like his whole world has ended. “I’ve gotta go get Matt.”
The panic in you rises then and you practically just off Alex’s lap and grab your intruders’ arm before he can turn back, “Jamie no, don’t.” You plead, pulling on his arm to come into the room.  
He turns back towards you then and he lets himself be pulled into the room. His head is still baffled though which leads him to say rather loudly, “You’re shagging, aren’t you?”
Your eyes go wide at the volume of his voice and you scorn, “Jamie.” quietly as you pull him further into the room so you can shut the door once more.
His eyes go wide impossibly wider though and he gasps, “You are!” looking from you to Alex who was still sat down.
“Matt is going to fucking murder you.” Jamie chuckles looking Alex dead in the eye as you ensure that no one else is on the bus by looking down through the bunks (thankfully all the curtains were still open) to the front lounge and you saw no one down the other end.
“Jamie please don’t start.” You hear Alex say, evidently not wanting this to get out of hand.
You close the door and turn around to the still very shocked man and say, “I’ll explain just please shut up and sit down.”
So you did explain that you’d been seeing each other for months. Jamie was shocked because he only started to suspect something a month into the tour.
But after he’d let the information sink in, it wasn’t really so shocking anymore. Which is why you’d got onto the conversation of why it was still a secret after you’d been going out for months.
“You know he’d be fine.” Jamie tells you, sitting down opposite you both, trying to persuade you to tell Matt. “He wouldn’t actually kick off, you can both do what you like.”
“It’s not really just about Matt.” You tell him honestly from your point of view. “It’s about all of you making jokes and shit for months. I didn’t want that.”
“Y/N we wouldn’t do that.” Jamie says leaning towards the both of you from the other sofa, but you’re having none of it.
“Cookie you’re the worst one for it.” You say with a pointed look.
You then point to Alex, who you were sitting beside now and say, “I remember what you were like with him and Arielle.”
And it was a lot. They joked about it all the time to start with, and it was annoying for you, let alone Alex and her.
“Him and Arielle were different.” Jamie states, a little on the defensive side, but then he follows it up with, “You don’t make funny videos for a living, I actually respect you a hell of a lot for putting up with us.”
You shake your head and tell the tipsy, but now definitely more sober man, “You’re not that bad.”
“Oh, we are.” Jamie says and you laugh because you were just being polite.
They could be a handful sometimes if you were telling the truth. But you wouldn’t change anything about any of them. You loved them all because of who and how they were, and they were all your family.
Jamie follows up with, “I'm genuinely surprised you actually want to go out with him after knowing what he’s like.”
You giggle at that and just pout as you joke, “I know, but you’re taken Cookie, so I went for the next best thing.”
“Hey” Alex scoffs, looking towards you, pretending to be offended.
You and Jamie just laugh at him though, and you intertwine your fingers when you grab Alex’s hand to hold as a little apology. You’d be sure to actually swear to him that you were joking later though.
Jamie notes the gesture and he can see the little knowing smiles on your faces and his heart melts a bit for the both of you. You were both pretty cute with each other to be fair and the more that Jamie had been playing detective about it he thought that the two of you would be a pretty good match.
So he was genuinely happy for the both of you.
“And as for the jokes…” Jamie continues, causing the two of you to look back around at him. But Jamie looks at you as he says, “If it upset you, you know I wouldn't do it”
“I don’t mind the odd joke about me sucking his dick or whatever, but I’ll go crazy if that's all I hear about for the next year.” You tell him honestly.
You could handle jokes, it wasn’t anything new. They joked about your first boyfriend to Matt for the longest time and had done each time you got a new one.
You could take a joke. But not 24/7 like this tour would promise it would.
“Okay, never say that again.” Jamie pleads, the shocked look not coming off his face, but you and Alex just laugh at his reaction.
His head goes into his hands for a moment but afterwards he looks at you both and says, “Yeah, you don’t have anything to worry about, joke wise, until I get comfortable with this dynamic because that was strange coming from your mouth.”
“You’ve heard me say worse than that, surely?” You ask, very amused by his discomfort.
Jamie just blankly says, “Not about Alex… And you’re practically my sister.”
“Sorry Cookie. I’ve got a right to say rude jokes about my boyfriend when I want to. He can say ones about me but from your reaction I don’t think you want him to.”
He then looks Alex dead in the eye and begs, “Please don’t.”
You both just end up laughing.
~*~*~*~
You decided after that night that you would think about being more open to telling Matt about everything that was going on. Thankfully Jamie was quite respectful of the whole thing and actually kept your secret.
He didn’t make things awkward for you both either, if anything he helped you both out a lot. Sometimes when you were out with them Jamie would keep the others entertained so you could escape with Alex for a little bit on a ‘fag break’ which would consist of stolen kisses.
Other times when you were all out, Jamie would lowkey guilt trip Alex into going back with you early so no one asked questions which you loved him even more for.
During this month that Jamie knew though, you’d been trying to come up with a way to tell Matt. Because you weren’t stupid, you knew this couldn’t go on for much longer.
Each time you tried to tell him though something would happen which meant that you didn’t. Once you froze, unable to tell him because you just genuinely didn’t know how to.
It wasn’t exactly something that you could drop on him and expect him to be fine with. Your nerves probably didn’t help but other times when you worked up the courage to do it, other things would go wrong.
Matt was in a foul mood one of the times, so that was a no go. Miles and Nick came in and interrupted another time before you got the words out and it was like a never ending series of unfortunate events that stopped you.
Alex had politely offered to do it after a few failed attempts but you said that you’d be more comfortable doing it. Partly because you thought that you should be the one to tell your brother and partly because you knew Matt wouldn’t hit you.
But there had been multiple failed attempts since then so you thought that you may actually make it to the end of the summer festivals at this rate.
It was nearing the end of August now and you were all staying in a hotel again tonight as you’d got to the city they were performing in the day before the show. You were pleased because it meant another night in with Alex so after you’d all had your dinner downstairs you’d given him your spare key card for your room so he could come to you whenever he liked.
Alex told you that he was looking forward to using it and he was excited to spend another night with you. It warmed your heart hearing that and when he rang you at 9:30 saying he was just running to the shop to grab the both of you some snacks, he said he’d let himself in about 20 minutes when he got back.
And that is why you were a little surprised when there was knocking on the door about 10 minutes later. You thought that was fast for a start but you gave him the key card so you wouldn’t have to get up and answer the door.
“Come in!” You shout across the room hoping he would hear you.
It seems that he does but his muffled response is, “It’s locked.” when the handle doesn’t budge.
You roll your eyes and mumble, “That’s why I gave you a key.” under your breath as you get up off your bed and head to the door.
And you’re about to scorn him but when the door opens you don’t find your boyfriend. You find your brother.
“Hey.” Matt says, stepping into your room after the door opens.
You’re shocked by his presence but try and act as calm as possible when you say, “Hey, you alright?”
Thank fuck you were still dressed. And thank fuck Alex wasn’t already here because you didn’t want him to find out like that.
But then you realised he’d be here in 10 minutes or so. And that made you want to get Matt out as quickly as possible.
“I’m fine, are you?” Your brother asks once he picks up the complimentary chocolate that the hotel had put on your bed which you were saving for later.
Any other night you would have ripped the shit out of him for coming in and doing that but now was not the time. You were borderline panicking as you were about to be caught out. But you try and disguise that as best as possible.
“Yeah, great thanks.” But really you’re just thinking, Shit.
Your brother asks you, “What do you have planned for tonight?”
Thinking on your feet all you can come up with is, “Just editing more pictures.”
“Fancy blowing it off and watching Netflix with me?” Matt questions and you all of a sudden feel really guilty that you want him to leave as much as you do.
You pull a little bit of a face at his question and try to carry on your lie, “Oh, I would but I’m honestly not feeling all that great after tea, so I was just gunna get an early night after I’ve done a few more pictures.”
“Funny that.” Your brother states when you turn away from him to grab your laptop from your bag as he sits himself down at the end of your bed.
You move towards the little desk that was in the room though and ask, “What is?”
“Alex isn’t feeling too well either.”
Well shit. You were too alike for your own good, coming up with the same excuses without telling the other.
“Oh?” You question, shitting it at this point, so you just open up your MacBook to distract you. “Maybe it was something we ate downstairs?”
All your brother replied was, “Doubt that because I had the same thing as you both.”
You choose no response as your best response and just continue to pull up a picture of Matt you hadn’t finished editing on photoshop yet. Being creative always eased your nerves so hopefully him watching you edit a picture of him would distract him.
“Y/N.” Matt says, trying to gain your attention.  
You instead just carry-on messing with the photograph and suggest, “Maybe you should go check on our friend bro, could be being sick for all we know. Wouldn’t make for the prettiest show tomorrow”
“Y/N…” Matt says once more, and you know he wants you to look at him.
So you do and you see your brother sat on the end of your bed, looking at you. He asks in a serious yet calm tone, “Is Alex really ‘just a friend’ anymore?
Well. You guess you didn’t have to find a way to tell him anymore.
You sigh and shake your head, “No.” and as you close your laptop you tell the truth, “He’s a lot more.”
Matt can tell you’re serious straight away just by the way you were looking at him. And it makes him shake his head a bit in disbelief. He says calmly but in a tone that worries you, as he also runs a hand through his hair, “I knew it.”
“Please don’t be angry Matt.” You all but beg as you turn in your chair towards him more. “It’s my fault we didn't tell you sooner... I didn’t want things to be different with the group, so I was the one who wanted to keep it a secret.”
“You know you didn’t have to do that, right?” Matt has to ask you, feeling awful that you felt like you couldn’t tell him something. “I just want you to be happy... Al’s practically family so of course I want the same for him.”
“I know, I’m really sorry…” You trail off for a second, “It just got to a point where I didn’t know how to tell you and when I tried to things always got in the way.”
Matt nods completely understanding that. At least you wanted to tell him.
“When did it start?” Is the question Matt asks you next.
“New Year’s Day” You say quickly before wincing a little, hearing that it has been 8 months out loud.
You felt so bad.
Matt is shocked by that news too, “That long...? Really?”
“Yeah.” You nod, feeling awful, “I’m sorry.”
Matt ends up asking you a few more questions after that which were pretty much big brother sort of questions, making sure Alex was treating you right and stuff like that. Thankfully this had all gone very plain sailing and Matt was happy for you like you both knew he would be.
And he had forgiven you for not telling him for so long too which was a big relief. It felt like a massive weight off your shoulders.
So much so that you had to get up off your seat and give him a hug. Matt stood up for the embrace, so you got to hug him properly and it was such a lovely warm hug that you felt like you hadn’t had in such a long time.
Halfway through that long hug though, both you and Matt hear the door to your room unlock. You press your lips together and wince a little knowing exactly what is about to happen.
“Hey Y/N/N.” You hear Alex say from somewhere behind you and you let go of Matt and both of you look towards Alex now closing the door, not yet noticing the situation.  
After he closes the door though, he begins to say before he turns towards you, “I got you thes- oh”
Matt smiles though seeing your favourite flowers in his best friend’s hand. You can’t help but smile at the sight of them too, and his face falling realising Matt was here was a little funny too.
He looked a little scared.
“I’m glad you’re treating her right Al.” Matt tells him, and Alex struggles with his words for a second and he looks to you for help.
“I just told him.” You nod confirming it out loud for him.  
Alex’s eyes go from you back to his best mate then and he starts, “Listen Matt, I’m sor-”
But Matt interrupts, “No no I don’t need an apology.” He shakes his head, “Just don’t fuck it up.” He then looks between the both of you, “Either of you... Because that would make for a really awkward tour.”
You smile at that and say, “I don’t plan on doing, and I know he doesn’t either.”
Matt grins at you then and he looks back to Alex and takes a few steps towards him. He points a finger to his chest and says very seriously, “Make her cry Turner, and I'll castrate you.”
Alex slowly nods, “Noted”
Matt must then break into a grin because Alex does too, and your brother then heads over to the door.
Matt turns back towards you and says, “Have a nice night love birds.” and walks out with a grin and he shuts the door behind him.
Both you and Alex stay silent for a second looking at the door almost in disbelief that the thing you’d both waited 8 months to do, was now over. Alex turns around to look at you and you’re both just awkwardly smiling at each other.
Alex puts the plastic bag filled with snacks down on the table he was standing beside and says, “Well you could have pre warned me.”
You shake your head, “I didn’t know he was coming. But he asked me to watch Netflix with him and apparently I gave the same excuse as you.”
“Oh fuck. Clever, aren’t we?” Alex chuckles a little and you nod in response.
Alex holds up the flowers he got for you and you can’t help but smile, “Well, I was hoping to surprise you with these, but you definitely won on the surprise front tonight.”
You giggle at that and you lean up to kiss him after taking the flowers from him, “Thank you my love.”
You briefly put them down whilst you say, “At least we don’t have to stay away from each other anymore.”
“Never going to let you go now Darling.” Alex chuckles before picking you up in a hug and spinning you around. You can’t help but giggle.
The next morning you both ventured downstairs to have breakfast with the others and found that they were all there waiting for you at your table with knowing looks. You and Alex just had grins on your faces knowing Matt would have gone around and told them all before you even got the chance.
They were all of course happy for you but of course you got some jokes and some questions. Jamie had got a bit used to it now, so he was starting with his jokes in private to you but when you sat down, he asked the both of you, “Suck his dick last night?”
“Wow, you’ve been waiting for that one, haven’t you?” You laugh, sitting yourself down next to him, immediately reaching for the menu so you could see what was on offer for breakfast.
The table obviously all laughed, and it was all fun and playful as you imagined it would be. You were glad Matt wasn’t cringing at all the details that you were giving out, as it was things like how far back moments happened, like when Alex asked you out officially and stuff like that.
All of the lads seemed really happy for you and even some of your other friends that were a part of the crew were shocked but buzzing for you. Alex got loads of people saying, ‘You better treat her right’ which made you laugh a lot.
But thankfully it was business as usual, just with the addition of getting to hold his hand and kiss him the odd time when you wanted. You’d rather most of your affection be in private though so not much had really changed on the social front.
Even when you were trying to be discrete about it, you didn’t find it too hard because you were still just the same Y/N and Alex. You’d been friends for years, so the dynamic shift wasn’t all that drastic.
You both were just the same friends that you could walk next to each other and it just be normal. You didn’t have to be touching each other all the time, you’d go walk with Miles or Nick and just go spend time with Alex every now and then.
You were glad that things never felt too different.
You guess the only thing that marginally was different was the first night back on the bus after you’d been staying in the hotel. You were all heading to bed and when you came out of the bathroom after changing, you headed to your own bunk, but then realised you didn’t actually need to.
Alex’s bunk was the top bunk in the middle, so you walked right past your own and straight to his. He was just in his boxers like most of the lads usually were when they slept on this bus.
“Hey.” You say with a big smile.
“Hey.” Alex grins, his messy hair almost falling into his eyes. He makes you smile when he says, “Was just about to come kiss you”
“Vile.” You hear Miles gag from the bunk directly below and you look down at him and frown.
“Miles, he kisses you... What are you on about?” You question, not understanding.
They were literally always touchy feely with each other which you thought was cute and adorable. They’d always been great mates and were close enough to actually perform together using one microphone.
So it made you laugh when Alex lent down over his bunk to say, “Little offended there mate.” to his friend.
Nick bursts out laughing at your backchat and Alex’s hurt and you chuckle along before you glance back to your boyfriend. Once his head was the right way up again you smile at him.
“I can join you for the night now, right?” You ask him and you love the smile that comes to his lips.
He nods, “Course you can.”
So Alex shuffles back in the bunk, enough for you to comfortably jump up and once you lay beside him you can’t stop grinning. It definitely felt weird to be in a bunk with him for everyone to see but it definitely makes you happy, even if it was a tight squeeze.
“Hi” You grin at him as he’s on his side, his back pressed to the wall of the bunk, looking down on you.
“Hey beautiful.” Alex says before he leans down and kisses you.
You of course kiss him back but after a second you quickly part so you can reach down to the curtain and pull it closed. You doubt that Nick wanted to watch from the bunk opposite.
As soon as your lips were back attached to Alex’s though you hear Nick whisper shout to everyone, “It’s starting!”
If your eyes were open, you would have rolled when but you just try to keep the smile off your lips, so you don’t ruin the kiss. And thankfully you both controlled yourselves enough to hold your smiles so you could indulge in a very nice kiss.
“If I hear anything come from that bunk, you don’t want to know what will happen.” Matt calls out loudly and you break apart from the kiss to laugh.
It seems like everyone else found it comical too, but it was even funnier when Jamie asked him, “What are you gunna do? Cry?”
“Fuck off Cookie.” Your brother says back, and you chuckle at that too.
You and Alex keep your curtain closed as the rest of them chat away and you get yourselves comfortable in the bunk. You are basically cuddled together in the bunk, with the duvet over you both, you still on your back and Alex tucked into your neck as he lay on his side.
You were glad you didn’t feel like you were about to roll out of the bunk, so it definitely made sense you were that way around. That and Alex quite liked to pick his head up every few minutes and trap you in another kiss.
A trap you certainly didn’t mind.
Usually when you all got in your bunks, curtains would stay open as you would all chat to each other and one by one curtains would close until you were all knackered and pass out until the next day. So, it wasn’t a shock that tonight you were all talking for quite a while, you and Alex just chatting to each other quietly in your bunk, liking the privacy that the curtain provided.
But after about 15 minutes someone shouted your name, popping yours and Alex’s bubble.
“Y/N?” You hear Jamie call you.
You smile knowing a joke was bound to come your way and respond, “Yeah?”
“I’ve got a question for you.” He informs and you can practically hear him smiling.
You grin at Alex and shout back to Jamie, “Okay, go on.”
“You know because you’re a photographer... Does that mean you take pictures of you and Alex in the bedroom?” Jamie asks teasingly and your immediately roll your eyes, but it doesn’t stop you from playing along.
“Shit.” You say jokingly loud, “How do they know?” You scorn Alex jokingly and he’s just silently laughing.
“Matt.” You call and joke, “Maybe don’t go through that SD card tomorrow.”
Earlier on he asked to see some of the pictures after the gig tonight and you said he could look through them before you started editing them tomorrow.
“I’ll burn it” Matt says back, and you just start silently giggling.
“What are you both up to in there?” You both hear Nick ask.
Alex says in a teasing voice, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Both of you have another few kisses in the time between those jokes and the next time you were heckled. But you were just cuddled when they next started joking.
“They are very quiet up there.” You both hear Miles say.
You shake your head and Alex sighs a little as you hear the rest of them chuckle.
“You doing good? You getting it up, Al?” Miles asks and you both feel him punch the top of his bunk, subsequently the bottom of yours.
You aren’t surprised when Alex doesn’t grace him with an answer.
“Very quiet indeed.” Nick laughs, more than likely looking down at Miles so they could share a laugh.
Jamie seems to jump in then with, “They are definitely biting their tongues.”
“Fuck off all of you.” Matt gets defensive but that just makes it comical.
You decided to upset your brother then by pretending to be annoyed when you scorn them, “You’re all really ruining the mood.”
Alex chuckles at that then, even though you weren’t doing anything. That is what made it funnier to him though.
“Sorry, do you need silence for Alex to get you off.” Jamie asks and it makes you roll your eyes at the question.
You reply, “No.” as an idea comes to mind.
“So you don't mind us carrying on talking then?” Miles asks teasingly. You can practically hear the smirk.
You backchat with, “Not if yous don't mind some noises too?”
“Fire away Hun.”
You brother almost shouts in distress, “No don’t. Both of you stay very fucking quiet.”
Jamie defends you both then, “Oh right so it’s alright when you and Breana fuck but when it’s Alex and Y/N you’re suddenly a prude.”
An argument starts out then with Matt defending himself and then Jamie defending you and so on and then it becomes a big thing. But you find it quite funny that Matt is getting annoyed, so you decide to make your own joke too.
“Al” You whisper, and he looks up at you for you to ask him, “Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?”
“Yeah, I watched it with you on the last tour.” He whispers back, reminding you.
You remember him doing now. You’d all had a movie night on the bus during the Suck It And See tour and because you were a little depressed they let you choose the film and you chose that one because it made you laugh.
“Okay, good.” You smirk knowing exactly what you were about to do.
Your boyfriend doesn’t yet get it though, so he asks in a whisper, “Why?”
“Alex” You say a bit louder, a smile you couldn’t hold back drawing to your face.
“What babe?” He asks you and you have to close your eyes, so you don’t break and start laughing.
You try to make your voice sound sultrier and you fake moan louder, “Oh god.”
At that though the boys arguing dies down as Alex whispers, “What are you doing?”
You hold your laugh and, “Alex.” falls from your lips in a breathy moan. And it’s loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Y/N, fuck off.” You hear your brother shout, clearly not amused.
You however come straight back with a very load moan of, “Alex fuck.”
“Matt I’m not touching her.” Alex shouts and you open your eyes to see Alex propped up to the side of you, looking at you like he was scared.
You don’t give it a second thought before you gasp even louder, “Right there Al”
You can hear Miles cackling below you both and you don’t let up with the moans you’re making despite wanting to laugh too. Next you raise your hand up to the ceiling of the bunk as if you’re using it to brace yourself, “Fuck.”
“Oh my god, don’t stop.” You plead in a desperate way as you look to your mortified boyfriend.
“Y/N shut up.” Alex whispers, but it just makes you carry on more.
The fake moans fall from you lips, filling the bunks with your pleads and gasps. Alex is still mortified, but the laughter coming from Jamie, Nick, and Miles just fuels you on.
You go fully Sally Albright on them. A series of loud moans leave your lips like:
“Yes Alex yes!”
“Faster.”
“Oh god.”
“Don’t stop!”  
Alex shouts over your loud voice, “Matt, I fucking swear I’m not touching her!”
The way you moan, “Fuck Al” seems to just dismiss what Alex said straight away though.
“Stop!” Matt shouts back, obviously angry now.
You immediately contradict in a fake moan, “Don’t stop!”
“Alex!” You all but scream as you bang on the ceiling of the bunk again a few times.
You go to take it a step further, but you’re apparently not allowed, “Fuck, Alex plea-”
Your boyfriend puts his hand over your mouth so you can’t carry on. However, you just start dramatically fake moaning, and it sounds a lot dirtier because his hand is over your mouth.
You carry on until you get a rise out of Matt despite Alex pleading with you to stop with a scared look on his face. But you know your brother was about to stop so you just looked at your boyfriend’s gorgeous brown eyes and carried on.
And before you know it Matt is swearing getting himself out of his bunk and the curtain of yours is practically ripped open. As soon as you see sight of your brother you stop the fake moans completely as if it never happened.
Alex holds both his hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint. Matt can quite clearly see you're fully clothed and have a massive shit eating grin on your face.
“Damn that was good, thanks Al.” You joke to your boyfriend but you’re looking at your brother.
Matt holds up a finger at you and warns, “You’re on very thin ice right now.”
He looks angry and embarrassed all at once. He’s bright red but looks absolutely fuming so you can’t stop your laugh.
You giggle questioning, “Why because you know your best mate can fuck your sister?”
Jamie bursts out laughing at that and you crumble into a louder laugh.
“Stop it.” Alex gasps, playfully hitting your shoulder once again looking petrified as he glanced from you to your brother.
“I don’t need to hear whatever that was.” Matt scorns you and you’re very quick to give him some backchat.
“Did you just admit to us all that you’ve never given Bre an orgasm? Because if you don’t know what those sounds were then I feel sorry for her.” You joke back trying to be cocky.
Jamie’s laugh echoes through the bus and you can hear Miles cackling from below. You could see Nick gasping for breath in a fit of laughter and Alex gasps in shock from beside you.
“You need to fuck off Y/N.” Matt gives you one more death glare before he stalks back to his bunk.
“Oh pull the drum stick out your arse!” You say getting a little annoyed at how your brother couldn’t take a joke. “You better hope our hotel rooms are never next to each other.”
“Shut the fuck up. I won’t tell you again.” Matt says as he gets back into his bunk and shuts his curtain in a strop.
“Aw…” You pout turning back to Alex in your bunk. You give him a quick kiss and then joke, “Better save the next orgasm for the next hotel Darling.”
“I’m begging you to stop talking.” Alex shakes his head, still looking at you a little shocked that you’d actually done what you just had.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Matt.” You giggle, and you say louder so the bus can hear you, “He’s not that scary... Just gotta bring up the time he shat himself when we were in the bat house in Chester Zoo and he quietens right down.”
You all hear Matt shout, “Fuck off!”
You and everyone else on the bus, bar Matt, started laughing then and you were still giggling away when you cuddled yourself into your boyfriend's body. Jamie and Miles begin to applaud you during their continued laughter which just makes your giggles difficult to silence.
Alex is still half shocked as he cuddled you into him, loving your humour but not actually believing you just faked an orgasm that loud on a tour bus surrounded by all your mates and your brother. He shakes his head and kisses the top of yours before telling you, “You’re gunna be the death of me.”
“Least it’ll be a fun death.” You joke and Alex laughs.
“You’re right.” Alex chuckles when you look up at him. You're grinning like an idiot and Alex tells you, “I love you, you psycho.”
“Love you too, weirdo.” You grin and proceed to kiss him sweetly.
After the kiss though you actually want to go to sleep in your boyfriend's arms peacefully. So despite Nick, Miles, and Jamie all still chuckling away, you turn back towards the curtain to redraw it and as you do you catch Jamie’s eye.
You wink at him before drawing the curtain and Jamie wolf whistles, which has you and Alex giggling away together as you cuddle yourself into him once more. You kiss Alex once more before playfully calling out to the others who were still laughing, “Night boys”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thank you for reading x
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1ddiscourseoftheday · 4 years ago
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Tues 11 May ‘21
Louis saw us all coming up with wacky theories about what the BMG announcement might mean and came to tell us what’s going on… wait no he just retweeted the same article from yesterday with the partnership wording! Haha, but in seriousness while I know not everyone agrees I think it’s pretty clear at this point that BMG is his new record label. The tweet he posted was captioned with another easily misconstrued statement, THANKS FOR THAT LOUIS, but I will repeat what I said yesterday, which is that by far the likeliest explanation of his announcing to a fandom that’s rabid for label news that he’s joined a label is that- it’s his new label! And all the evidence I see supports that. The post he retweeted said (in the words of Music Week) “After five One Direction albums and one solo LP with Sony Music and Syco, now Louis Tomlinson is officially an independent artist with BMG”. Some believe this means he’s NOT signed to BMG but is putting out his own album and simply using them as a distro; I personally would say it seems pretty clear at this point that that simply refers to the fact that BMG are, as a label that isn’t one of the Big Four, considered an independent label, making Louis, as someone on their roster, an indie artist- like the tweet said. If he’d gone rogue and started his own label there would be articles everywhere about it and that article would have talked about it (instead headlines read “Louis Tomlinson Signs Record Deal With BMG”), plus we have plenty of quotes that would be frankly odd if he weren’t signed to BMG, such as the vice president of A&R at BMG UK, saying "We are delighted to welcome Louis to BMG. He is already busy working on new music, and we are excited to join him on the next phase of his extraordinary career,” a BMG sales manager saying “BMG will have the new album” and referring to the fact that they’ll do promo for it (in a DM conversation that actually appears to be real, unlike SOME going around today), and Charlie Lightening posting “Congrats @louist91 on the new deal with BMG UK excited for LT2, gonna smash it lad”.
More to the point-- why do people want so badly to think he ISN’T signed with BMG? This is GREAT NEWS!! They’re an indie (what everyone has wanted for Louis forever), and they were founded specifically to give artists more control than the majors (after splitting off from Sony; they were more or less founded as a direct push back against Sony’s business model), but they’re big enough to give him the support an artist of his size needs, which would be very hard for him to pull off running his own label-- I’d much rather see him putting his energy into writing songs, touring, making documentaries, and running his management company, rather than doing his own promo and wrangling with distro deals and shit. He should be signed to a label to do that work for him! And BMG seems like an awesome choice! But the weird ideas out there just continue right on-- not just people saying he’s not on a label, but also others, who don’t think him being on a label completely unconnected to Sony will be able to prevent Sony from dropping a piano on Louis’ head like the moustache twirling masterminds they are er sabotaging BMG somehow (the whole point of them being an indie is that this shouldn’t be an issue?), and such amazing takes as “louis has signed to a queer label” (evidence? “we just know that they are queer”; an actual dialogue from tiktok), are unlikely to be affected by any number of facts, as are the twitter folks getting excited about him ‘unfollowing’ accounts he never followed to begin with (Syco etc).
Anyway Louis, on a roll of giving us what we want today, also gave us a VIDEO with his HAT OFF! I don’t even care that it’s a silly ad (for samsung), or that he trimmed his luscious locks a little, it’s Louis! Talking and stuff!! Showing off his still wonderfully long hair all pushed up and back! Gorgeous, amazing, perfect… and yes I am ignoring the slides and socks thank you very much, though I will mention that they are literally exactly the same as Harry’s slides and socks. He also followed BMG, one of his (no doubt many) NFT trading profiles was found (@LT282828, LMAO), and new shows are being added as the tour dates finalize (though ticketmaster showing a Harry date for the same day/place as one of them was a glitch, we don’t have Harry’s updated dates yet)
And speaking of Harry! MP filming was indoors today, so Harry was only seen walking to his car, but he showed up at the Brits!!! In an amazing geometric patterned (or, uh, “macro framed sequence print” I GUESS) brown and tan suit (that clashed just HORRIFICALLY with the neon pastel Brits décor and his award, I fucking love that) and a cute lil handbag and sneakers to accept his AWARD for Best British Single!! (For Watermelon Sugar oddly, but hey a wins a win). CONGRATULATIONS baby and WOW great to see him! He popped in with pal Tomo Campbell, last seen by us when they drove to Italy together last summer. He thanked “my fans, for being so generous to me, always, and everyone in my life who has my back, thank you so much I love you.” Question, did he make the choice to swap out the pink and yellow award he was handed onstage for the blue and green version he had later? Either way, lol. Lots more people will have nice things to say about him now with this high profile win, but even before that people were gushing about him-- Joshua Bassett came out as queer by calling Harry hot (”I guess this is me coming out”), we got Billy Porter on the Brits pre show carpet saying, “I am seeing change! You know Harry Styles on the cover of Vogue Magazine that is change. You’re welcome!” and someone from his recording studio telling us he “was very nice wasn’t he, he brought doughnuts for the assistants and gave everyone a lift home. He came into reception and offered to make everybody a cup of tea,” awww Harry! Lift home from Harry, that’s my new meeting-one-of-the-boys goal.
Niall wished “everyone involved at the Brits” good luck, and Liam wished an NFT creator luck on his sale.
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locahaz · 4 years ago
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shoot your shot - a one shot
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a/n: hiiii this is my first posted fic on my refurbished account soon if you see this and you like it, lemme know!! Request some things, I would love to go back into writing. Enjoy x ..................................................................................................................................................................... harry plays on the football team where you are the medic helping out and things get quite interesting when he invites you to his party
warnings: mature content
word count: 11,1k
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I felt it from the moment I had walked on the field with the others. 
Someone was staring at me. Or everyone was. I didn’t look behind me to see if it was true, but I could feel their eyes staring straight at my ass. They asked me to wear athletic clothing for this, so I just chose the first thing in my dresser that I saw, picking out some black yoga pants. The material clung to my butt and I regretted I had put them on the moment I had arrived here. My oversized sweater I chose to wear over it luckily covered my upper half, a decision I did appreciate I made now.
Walking onto the sports centre was nerve-wracking in itself. I liked sports, I liked watching it, but having the possibility of someone else watching you do something was disturbing. I couldn’t find the way I was supposed to go. I didn’t bring my hair tie so I was forced to keep my hair floating around my face and this place was huge. There were several buildings and a squala of fields for specific sports. Indoors, outdoors, you name it. The college was probably sponsored by some wealthy upper class fathers who wanted their sons to be on the radar for new opportunities.
Luckily, I was led right to the canteen which was easily locatable since it had a terrace. A terrace! Lord, I feel like I should’ve worn other clothing for this. 
I approached a team player who had blond hair, feeling the nerves floating around in my stomach, “Uhh… Hi.” 
The boy who was filling up his water bottle turned around, raising his eyebrows, “Hi there.” 
Shit, he was nice. I inhaled, “I was looking for uhh, the football team…” He gave me the same look, “I was asked to help.., or I need to help with their inju-”
“Ahh!” He exclaimed, disregarding his bottle and he turned to fully face me, “You’re the one!”
I shrugged my shoulders, “I guess I am?”
“My name’s Niall.” He held out his hand, “I’m the star player of the time you’ve been assigned to!” 
I shook his hand, smiling a little. “Hi,” We still held hands, “Do you know where I’m supposed to go?” 
Still holding my hand, he began shaking it up and down. “I’m glad we finally have someone.”
“You are?”
“Yeh, we desperately need new people to liven things up a little.” 
I pried my hands from his grip, which wasn’t that strong. But I was already sweating, I didn’t need more reasons to be nervous. “Alright, that sounds good.” 
The pregnant pause that followed made him inhale and pack his bottle in his bag, “You are probably wanted by the football field, which is right there.” 
He pointed out somewhere behind me, making me turn my head. I already saw some players dribbling with the ball, so that was easily recognisable. “Go to the coach, he’s the tallest and biggest one. Has a loud voice too, probably won’t miss him.” He grinned, making me smile up at him. 
“I’ll meet you there in a second, we’re starting in like two minutes.” 
I nodded, “Alright, thanks…”
“Niall.” He answered for me, giving me a wink. “But you can call me anytime.” 
I rolled my eyes at his remark, but by the look on his face and the laugh that followed his statement, I knew it was to lighten my mood and assure me. 
I walked towards the field with a small smile on my face and with a lot less nerves. The players were now assembling and putting their heads together so I walked towards the dug-out and waited for them. There weren’t a lot of spectators or bystanders standing around the field, since it was a friendly game. I inhaled again. This should be fine. I recognized some of the players. They were all from the same college after all. Why did I sign up for this? I’m such an idiot.
When the team was done with sharing strategy and doing their, what appeared to be a yell, the trainer walked towards me. I was nervous when he approached me, he towered over everyone. 
“Hi Mattie,” he said, “You ready?”
I stood there, with my own little bag of supplies in my hand. I nodded. Luckily he spoke to me when I got drafted for this, so I already knew him. What if it was someone else who ended up being the coach? Since our conversation was very brief, you’re a nurse, I’m in need of a carer for the team, the deal was easily made. I didn’t know exactly what to take with me for this, but it was a college football team anyways, so nothing was really high-class. I had put some aspirin, plasters, scissors, antiseptic wipes, bandages and tweezers in my supply bag. That should be enough for a college team right? Surely they wouldn’t crash and fall every single game. He saw me fiddling with the bag, and smiled at me, “Good luck.” 
I nodded at him in gratitude and looked around the field. Gosh, couldn’t I talk? I was punching myself in my head. The trainer, whose name I seemed to have forgotten the second after the interview, sat down on his seat. 
Right now, all the players on the field were starting to go to their positions, other members of staff, the referee, seconds officials and the trainers and staff of the opposing team, all seemed ready to go. It wasn't hot or cold, but the slight breeze that blew over the field chilled me just slightly, making the tip of my nose go red. My job was already halfway done, which is just waiting for something to happen and providing the supplies they needed. If something did happen, I was the chosen person to help the players and fix their injuries. I didn't expect that these games would be very intense anyways. The players often knew each other since the teams were always against other colleges. Today it was just a practise match to start off the season, so I should be fine. 
The minute everyone started and the whistle blew, I wondered where Niall even was. Wasn’t he one of the players? As everyone was running and shouting on the field, I felt like he fit right in. I let my eyes wander. I didn’t know that much about football. I rarely watched the Champions League, I could just about name all the rules. The players, however, were something that did interested me. Especially the ones I already knew.
As I was sitting there, everyone seemed to be in the right place and doing exactly what everyone expected of them. The coach shouted an obnoxious loud praise towards his team, making me jump in my seat. The referee whistled at what suggestiably were the right times. No-one seemed to be getting angry at him. They were getting into it already. It'll probably go fine tonight, and my nerves I had bubbling in my stomach would probably be for nothing. At least, I was hoping for that. I watched the players going for the ball intensely, running after it and passing each other the ball. 
Right as the spirits of the team heightened and they almost scored, Niall crept up from behind me. “You didn’t even give me your name.” 
I shrieked, startling even the trainer who was deep into the game, “Jesus, Niall. Don’t scare me like that.” 
He sat down next to me, “Sorry, babe.” 
“My name’s Mattie.” I said, looking at him briefly. He nodded his head, “Like that.” 
I smiled, turning my head towards the field. “Aren’t you playing?”
He pointed towards his knee, that was covered by his track pants, “This annoying thing won’t let me.” 
“Ahh, that’s too bad.” I grimaced. 
“It’s alright,” he shrugged, “get to sit next to you.” 
I rolled my eyes again. “You’re not getting any.” 
He burst out laughing, “What! How could you resist me?” 
I playfully smiled at him. I was glad he was here to ease my nerves, “Dunno,” I glanced at the field, “quite like the others.” 
“You already know them?” He asked. 
“Yeah,” I nodded, “same college.”
Liam was the goalie. He was broad, quick and could move fast so he was the one that suited that job the most. He was also rough, and shouted really loudly which was a benefit when he would have to coach the team from the goal. He scared opponents off easily, grabbing the ball before they could shoot to keep the score at zero. Liam shared a house with Zayn, Louis and Brad, who were also playing tonight. Zayn was a little bit more of an introvert, and I didn’t really speak to him much. He did show he was a good midfielder though. He was quick and could pass the ball to his teammates effortlessly. When he did score though, he wouldn’t hesitate to cheer loudly and scare everyone with his intensity. 
Brad was a little bit older than the rest, but he was great nonetheless. He was very broad in the shoulders and had legs every gym boy would be jealous of. He was the ex-boyfriend of my sister’s, who also attended this college a few years ago. But to me, he still felt more like an older brother than someone who had been in my sister’s life for years. 
Louis was very serious. He was known for only having one thing on his mind, and that was to score goals. He was quick, could dribble fast and made the stronger players against him look back at him in surprise. Others called him Suarez because he was just that good, and his name was close to Luiz’, which made it easier for his teammates to choose a name. He was actually the only one, alongside Harry, to maybe get upgraded to a higher team. From what I heard of some girls on campus, was that he was a bit snarky. He had some quick-witted comebacks, and he didn’t care if he would hurt your feelings.
The house right next to their one, was filled with other boys from the team. This one was occupied with Josh, Ben and Harry. They had been friends since they were around sixteen, and now had the best bond you could have as college brothers. The three boys were always seen with each other, going out together and even doing groceries together. It wouldn’t surprise me if they also fucked the same girls. 
I actually didn’t know them that well, they were just known around campus. That house was classed as the party house and had a reputation of being used to shag a new girl every week. Don’t get me wrong, they were also good at their sport, but the girls they pulled mostly went for their looks rather than for their skills. 
It wasn’t a surprise that two of the boys that I knew, Louis and Harry, played as strikers, in the centre forward position. Harry was the only one that I had never actually spoken to before but knew from the parties. He was in the team because he was good, but also because he could easily show off to the ladies that way. He was popular amongst the college, mainly because he offered up his house to all the party-goers that wanted to celebrate a win that he created. No-one complained about that, seeing as he was gifted with the most attractive face on the campus. He could dribble the ball, yes, and he had the skill of a young Neymar when it came to approaching the goal. But with those eyes and smile with dimples, and his full head of curls that were covered in a backwards snap-back most of the time, I couldn’t help but check him out instead of his moves on the field. He was the captain of the team, living up to his name. He was also a leader of the group outside of football, which made all the girls like him even more.
“Ahh,” Niall exhaled, “shame I don’t know you.” 
This time, I shoved him, making him laugh. He was already a pain in my arse. “Fuck off.”
The boys were playing for around fifteen minutes now, without something happening that would probably make me do some work. The coach was getting into it, standing up every so often and giving the players some tips. He had really created a team, I felt like. You could feel the bond and fondness between them. When a player fell down, another player helped him up and patted him to ask if he was okay. When it almost went wrong and the opposing team had a shot at the goal, everyone from the team would shout positives to each other. It felt like a real team. This team wasn’t only together while playing, though. I had seen them all at parties together and they also liked to play outside of the games they already had. 
I was really into it the first fifteen minutes, but now I was growing kind of bored. Sure, watching boys play was fun, but with no work or particular action, it was kind of boring. Especially since it was a friendly match. The one form of entertainment I got, however, was Niall, who was really into the game.
“Fuck’s sake, Leon! You’re a defender! You should play in the back!” He shouted profanities to his team mates, cheering them on. 
When Niall saw that Leon didn’t comply, he nudged another player next to him and said something in his ear with a scowl on his face. It made me grin lightly in my seat, him being so serious. I liked watching them already. 
“Come on!” He yelled again, standing up in his seat, “Run Louis! Go after…” 
I was looking at Niall with a smile on my face. I also saw how his face turned into a grimace and his hands went to cover his mouth. “Oooh,” 
I looked at the field, panicked. Niall nudged me, tapping his hands on my arm. I saw that Louis had fallen to the ground, his arms holding his leg up now, groaning in pain. It was probably his ankle. I didn’t know what to do at first, shocked that something had actually happened. I looked at Niall, who was already looking at me, nudging his head towards the field. “Go!”
I jumped from my seat, wanting to run straight to the victim. I saw the referee signing for me, which made me run onto the field even more desperately. After a couple of seconds of running, I realised I had forgotten my bag. Fuck. Seriously? Groaning to myself in embarrassment, I quickly grabbed my supplies and ran a little quicker to the boy who was lying on the field in pain. 
“Hey,” I said as I approached him, a little out of breath from running so quickly. 
He didn’t look at me, just kept touching his ankle. It made me frown, it was probably really bad. He was crying out in pain, and some teammates and opponents had gathered around him to see what happened. In the meantime I had wet the sponge in the bag that the coach had brought with him, stretching Louis’ leg. He didn’t really want to, resisting to want to move it. 
“Don’t worry, it’ll be alright.” 
As I was wetting his ankle to cool it down over his shoes, I tried to look if it was bruised or if it had swollen up. None so far that I could see, so that was a good sign. I stretched his leg a bit to keep it moving, but with his socks on, I couldn’t see if there were any wounds or cuts. I tried to sit him upright, but he wasn’t having it. “Calm down,” He hissed, still holding his ankle. He sat upright now, finally looking who was taking care of him. When he saw it was me, he raised his eyebrows. 
“What’re ye doing here?”
I looked at him in shock, already not wanting to help him anymore. So much for running hurriedly over to him. I tried to not react to his degrading question, although it was hard. I continued to check out his foot, trying to place it straight down on the field. He placed his other food next to the injured one, and leaned on his knees with his elbows. The trainer gave Louis a bottle with water, which he gladly took. He took a large gulp, sitting there for a while. Was I overreacting or something? He seemed to be in a lot of pain, why was he now so calm and chilling?
I started grabbing my things, giving Louis one last look to see if he was okay. He seemed to be fine, being helped up by another team mate and testing to stand on it. 
I couldn’t believe this, he was groaning about his ankle no less than one minute ago! What an idiot. Letting me come all the way over here for nothing. As I was walking away frowned my eyebrows in confusion. If it was going to be like this the whole time, I was gone. Not gonna happen. I was here for a reason and the team mates should take that seriously. 
I looked back one last time to Louis who was now laughing with Brad, which resulted in me bumping into someone. His back was hard. He had drawn his head back so he could fill his mouth with water, causing me to also run into the back of this someone’s arms. 
“Fuck, sorry.” I exclaimed, “I shouldn’t..”
When he turned his head around and I saw who it was, I immediately shut my mouth and stared at him. I was frozen into my place for a moment, not knowing what to say. He turned around completely, a dimple showing on his face. I blushed. He was even more attractive up close.
“Don’t worry about it, babe.” He didn’t look angry or anything at all, he actually smiled, which made me feel a little bit better. I wanted to keep on walking to let me soak in my distress towards the situation that just occured, when Louis spoke up again from behind us, “So who’s the pretty girl who wears tight ass clothes to her job?” 
I heard him laugh quietly at his own remark, and he said it loud enough to let his mates in on it too. Instead of just ignoring him and walking on, I decided to turn around and shout after him, 
“Someone who can actually pull it off.”
His team mates ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ at my quick remark. I sighed. Harry was still looking at me. I saw his face turn into a frown, silently apologizing to me with his gaze. I shrugged at him. My comeback towards Louis made me feel good again. He’s the idiot.
When I turned around again, and actually began walking, I smiled quietly to myself, forgetting the situation. This was going to be an interesting job.
--
The whistle blew, announcing the end of the game. For a practice match, the game went surprisingly well. There weren't any more instances or fake ankle injuries, what I was glad about. Harry had scored the one and only goal, which made the team go home with a win. Even though the game was for practice, they were pretty happy about it.
"Okay boys! Bundle up," the coach announced as everyone was walking off the field. I was still standing by the dug-out, not really knowing if I had to say goodbye or when the next game was. I saw everyone rounding around the coach, listening in, just like I did.
"Great game, happy about this one. Leon, next time: please bring your shin pads, so you could actually play and I could see what condition you're in. I have made notes and I will be announcing who's playing this Saturday, before the real game." The team looked around at each other, gauging who played good tonight and who didn't. 
Apparently they used this match as a mock try-out, so the trainer and coach could see who were in shape and who weren't for the first big game on Saturday.
"Before you all go, I would like to introduce you to our new on scene doctor, who will be helping you if there's anything actually wrong." He glared at Louis when he said that last part, making him scowl.
I took a step forward, looking around the group. I saw that everyone was intensely looking at me, so I spoke up quickly, "Hi everyone, my name's Mattie and just like Patrick said, I'll be helping you guys out during the games."
"You'll help me out outside of the game, too?"
I ignored him, saw that Niall was once again encouraging me and disregarding his team mate who shouted that from the group, nodding his head for me to continue. I smiled a bit, and went on, "I'm studying to be a doctor, and I'm currently doing the bachelors for it, so yeah.."
Patrick, the coach, nodded at me and returned to the group, "For now, keep in shape boys and help each other out. I haven't decided anything yet so miracles can happen!"
The team shuffled away quietly, talking to each other. I tapped Patrick on his shoulder, "Sorry, coach, is there some place where I can put my bag so I don't have to bring it with me every time?" 
He nodded, gazing above me to where the boys were walking, "Of course Mattie, just a moment,” He took two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly, making me try to cover my ears, “Captain!" he shouted, "Harry come here!" 
I turned around and saw that Harry was saying goodbye to his teammates, as he already heard his couch, before jogging over to us. He nodded at me, looking me up and down and placed his arms in his sides as a greeting and turned to Patrick, "What's up coach?" 
Patrick cleared his throat and looked at me, "Mattie here would like to put her bag in the dressing room so she won't have to take it with her," he started grabbing his keys from his pocket, "you can show her, yes?" 
Harry nodded, taking the keys from him. "No worries coach, I'll help her." 
The coach patted Harry in his shoulder, "Thank you, bring the keys to my office tomorrow. And work on your left foot!" 
Niall was waving goodbyes at me, so I quickly waved back, “Bye!” and turned towards Harry. 
With the team and Niall gone, it was just Harry and I. It was still dark, with only the lights from the field still on. Harry jiggled the keys in front of us, and winked at me, "I'll show ya," 
It wasn't that I was nervous or anything, but I hesitated for two seconds before strolling behind him. He was so cocky, with his kit still on and smirking all the time. I couldn't help but watch him while he was playing. He had a certain glow around him, an aura that just radiated confidence. He could probably pull everything off and he certainly could wrap everyone around his finger. 
"So you enjoyed the game, doc?" 
I cringed at the nickname, but decided to let it go this time, "I enjoyed watching it yeah," 
Nodding, he faced me, "You liked my goal?" 
He said it with a smirk and as if he knew I was watching him the whole time, which was true, but he didn't need to know that. 
"Actually, I really liked how Leon could outrun everyone on the field.." 
He stopped abruptly and turned around, in the middle of the path. Once he was fully in front of me, he leaned in, “I saw you watching me, you know.”
Because he stopped suddenly and leaned in immediately, I accidently took a step too much, almost bumping into him again. “Maybe I was watching Louis.”
He laughed, showing me his dimple as he looked to the side. “I know you weren’t, that douchebag really doesn’t know how to play it.”
I nodded my head, and rolled my eyes as if he was stating the obvious. “That’s right.” 
I began walking again, not really knowing where to, but at least in the same direction we were already going. Harry followed me soon after, jumping into step with me. I already saw the building coming closer, which made me think of something. “Why aren’t you all showering in the dressing room after a game?”
He bumped his shoulder with mine, which made me notice the height difference we had. He was a lot taller than me, my eyes looking straight at his collarbones when I turned to look at him. 
I looked up at him, raising my eyebrows in question. 
“You would like to see that, huh?” He stated, smiling shyly at me.
I groaned, “Harryy..”
“Already moaning my name, I see.” 
This time it was me that bumped my shoulder with him, making him laugh in response. “I was just joking, love.” 
When we fell into step once more, he looked ahead and started explaining my question to me, “No we’re not there because it was a practise game and obviously we want to go home fast so we can go to the party later, so we just decided to shower at home.”
I nodded my head, kneading my eyebrows in confusion. There was a party tonight? I haven’t heard anything about that. I quite liked going to parties. Normally my friend Niamh made sure we could get invites so we could go together, but not tonight apparently. It was a Wednesday after all, so maybe she just wanted to stay in tonight. “A party?” I asked Harry. 
He nodded, “Yeah it’s like a frat party only, I would have gotten you an invite but I didn’t really know you before this, soo..”
I laughed, grinning to myself. Harry was really nice. At least, nothing like I had pictured him to be in my head. I didn’t like to judge people before I knew them, but with Harry that was kind of inevitable. Also, I couldn’t exactly invite myself now since he said he didn’t know me but I already knew him. I was not going to make a fool of myself, obviously. So I just shrugged.
“Don’t worry about it.”
We had reached the building where the shower rooms were. We walked quite slow, and it was already quite late so it was kind of eerie here. No lights, the doors were all left open and there were no people to be seen. 
“So these are our shower rooms,” Harry started as we walked into the building after he unlocked it, “We normally take the first one, so you can just put your stuff in there.”
The dressing room was big and spacious. Everyone had a seat, there was a whiteboard in there and the showers were in a separate room. The closet that stood against the wall next to the showers, held all the equipment. “There,” Harry said, as he took my bag and placed my stuff in, “A special place for you.”
As he placed my stuff in the closet, I could finally see how he’d looked up close. He still had his short sleeved football shirt on, revealing his tattoos on his arms. For a guy that was still in college, he sure had a lot of them. Not that I minded. 
“Thank you Harry,” I smiled at him, at which he winked in return when he faced me again. Gosh, I could almost feel myself getting red. I was acting like a schoolgirl, I needed to step up my game. “I’ll remember this place,” I said, as I looked at the showers. I could almost imagine all the naked boys right here. 
I smirked, glancing at the shower himself, “I’m sure you will.”
After making sure everything was locked and closed, we started to walk back to the parking lot.  I was sure Harry was also with his car, considering campus was at least a twenty minute walk. Right as we reached our cars and I wanted to say goodbye, he faced me again and leaned on his already open door, “You know what, Mattie?”
I looked up from the inside of my car towards him, giving him a questioning look. “What?”
“You free Saturday?”
He said it so casually that I wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t asking me out on a date was he? I mean, I was attracted to the guy but I barely knew him! And it wasn’t like I wanted to go out with him, really. But I did want to see him. With hesitation evident in my voice, I answered him, “Yeah, why?”
He saw my facial expression and laughed a bit, “To take you up on my offer. We’re having a party again at our house, so if you’d like to come?”
I almost sighed in relief, “Yeah, I’d like that, thank you Harry.” 
He shot a quick wink at me as he started to climb in his car, “No worries!” As a last afterthought, right as I wanted to shut my door, I heard him shout, “And bring your friends!”
--
My friend Niamh was present at the game this time, too. We were here a little early, so we could catch up on our week and talk about everything that had happened to us. She was a friend from years ago, almost from when we were kids, so she knew everything about me. Unfortunately, she didn’t want to be a doctor and had chosen to go pursue her dancing career. She was really good at it, too. She was asked to dance in videoclips and she often performed on stage with singers or bands. It was her job now, one she always wanted. It made me proud of her, because she actually went for it, and ignored her parent’s complaints about it. She had proved them and their comments about how she was never going to make it, wrong. 
We sat in the canteen, which was still fairly quiet. The game would start at two, and it was now one thirty. I had only been to a professional game once, and then I arrived at two on the dot and I didn’t even look if there were many people there. The only time I’d been here was when I met up with the trainer to see if this was the right place for me to take my extra credits. I could choose to work in an elderly home, or at the swimming pool, but I had decided that this would be more fun for me. I didn’t mind watching 22 boys running after a ball for two hours back to back, particularly. 
Niamh had ordered a coffee whereas I preferred cold drinks over hot drinks, so I just stuck with some soda. “So how has your week been, Matts?” She said as she took a sip of her drink. 
I smiled at her, excited to tell her she would be having something to do tonight, “Actually, I need to invite you to something.”
Her eyebrows perked up, and she placed the drink on the table, “To where?”
I grinned, “Harry Styles asked me if I wanted to come to this party at his house tonight, and said I could bring some friends.” 
“No way!” She exclaimed gasping, “Harry Styles from the team?” 
I nodded happily back at her, “That’s the one.”
She already started to grab her phone, so she could text our friends, I presumed. “When did he ask you this? I didn’t even know you talked to him!”
After I placed my drink down from taking a sip of it myself, I shrugged casually at her. “Well, I had to help at that game you know,” I said as she nodded at me, “And right after he had to show me where I could put my stuff and started talking about this party he had this Wednesday----”
“Oh yes!” She interrupted me with wide eyes, “So that’s the party Emily talked about! She said she had fucked the captain of the team, and that he was quite good. That’s Harry right?” 
I paused, opening my mouth in surprise. “What? Yeah he is the captain.” 
“That’s so sick! I have to text Emily about this party tonight then,” She said, grinning excitedly at me and putting her phone down to look at me again. “Anyway, go on, I’m listening.”
I coughed, choosing to ignore this disappointing bit of information, “Yeah so he told me about that party and that he couldn’t invite me then, which is a bit weird if I think about it now, but anyways, he invited me for tonight and said I could bring some friends.” I forced a smile on my face as I finished my story and looked at her. 
She copied my smile, “That’s great! Maybe I can finally meet Niall and get to know him better, if you know what I mean,” She said as she wiggled her eyebrows. 
I laughed, genuinely excited for her. “I hope you will!” 
After I had finished my drink, I announced to Niamh that I had to leave if I wanted to be at the dug-outs on time. She wished me well, and said that she would see me tonight. After I hugged her and said goodbye to her and the bartender who had served us, I walked out of the canteen towards the shower rooms. 
I needed to grab my bag if I wanted to be helping players today. Today they had to play against a popular college not far away from where we’re from, so it was kind of exciting to be able to see that. The coach had probably announced who would be playing and who wouldn’t for today, which made the pressure on the players to play well a tad bit higher. I knew that obviously Harry and Louis would be playing, along with our goalie Liam, but the rest of the team was still unsure. For me it would be kind of fun if Niall was still benched, just for entertainment, but he would rather be on the field, I’m sure. Hopefully his knee was doing better.
I had reached the shower rooms and discovered that the door was still open, allowing me to walk right in the building. I knew Harry said it was the first one when we dropped my bag off, so without hesitation I whipped open the door. Right as I did that, I heard commotion and deep yelling from from the inside, causing me to rapidly close the door again. Shit. How the fuck was I supposed to know they were still here, they were just warming up outside!
Bowing my head in embarrassment, I quickly walked out of the building. I would just grab my bag when they were out so I didn’t have to walk in with all of them staring at me. I waited outside, leaning against the wall and just staring ahead at the field they would be playing on. They were taking their sweet time. Probably just discussing the match quickly just before the game started, but to me it felt like ages.  
The other team was walking towards the field in a pack, and the referee started to walk towards this building, probably to let our team know the game was about to start. I actually felt nerves bubbling in my stomach, with everything being so serious in comparison to the last game. There were a lot of supporters walking towards the bleachers, too. 
I was just staring at the field again when the door opened and everyone on the team started to walk out. First it was the coach and trainer, who nodded in greeting. The coach was needed here too, apparently. I saw that Niall walked in the front with his jacket still on, so that meant he was benched again. When he walked by me, he ruffled my hair. “Hey Matts!” 
“Hey!” I shouted after him, “I’m here to help you, you know!”
He turned around and laughed loudly, pointing at his knee, “Not me!’
At that, I didn’t have anything back to say knowing he was benched again, so I just shook my head. 
“Is he messing with you?” 
I heard Harry’s voice before I saw him, making me look up towards him. He was walking at the back of the team’s row to get out of the building with a smile on his face, standing out from everyone else walking before him.  
When he reached me, he stopped and raised his eyebrows, awaiting my answer. “No it’s just Niall,” I told him, shrugging my shoulders indifferently. 
“Right,” He smirked, “Well, I figured ‘t was you that tried to come in during our important speech, so I decided to grab your bag for you.” 
My heart swelled just a little bit at his kind gesture, having not expected this at all from him. Shit, you should never listen to rumours, huh? He proved once again that he could actually be kind.
“Wow, Harry! Thank you so much. That’s so kind of you to do that!” I grabbed the bag from him and in a split second decided I wanted to hug him. I threw myself in his arms, catching him off guard for a second. My bag that I now carried in my hand whipped him in his back, causing him to groan in my shoulder. Hugging me back, he draped his arms slowly around me, positioning them right above my ass. 
When I loosened my arms around him, I nodded my head towards the field, “You should probably go,”
He nodded in confirmation, still standing in close proximity to me. “I do.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder blades, and wished him luck for the game, “Break a leg Harry, or don’t actually.”
He laughed at my comment, showing me his dimples. Before he walked away towards the field, he winked at me, “I’ll try not to.”
When I saw him run on the field and give his teammates one last cheer for good luck, I smirked to myself watching him. It was a good choice to wear my tight yoga pants again, at least. 
--
The game was very intense. Not like practise-match intense, but full on competition match intense. Louis luckily hadn’t faked any injuries yet, so that was a good sign. However, I had to run on the field in the first half for Liam, who had taken a good shot right in his eye. He fell to the ground, making me run on the field for him. When I got there, he was already sitting up and not at all groaning in pain like Louis had, making me smile a bit. At least Liam could handle something. I also discovered his injury wasn’t fake, because I could see a bruise forming immediately. I cooled it a little, but told him it would be better if he took some rest. He said that he’d be fine and would just tell me and the coach if he wanted to switch between the other goalkeeper and him. I was still a bit concerned, but he insisted. So I walked back with my supplies and some worries, hoping that it was really just a shot with the ball, and it wouldn’t turn out to be something worse. 
The score was 2-1 for our team, with just ten minutes to go when I came back from grabbing some more water. It was so tense, all the players were proper going for it. The bleachers were filled with supporters, all reacting to the match as if their life depended on it. When the opponents came near our goal, they would stand up and shout at our defenders. And when our team was striking and near the opponents goal, they would yell and scream for us to score. I was nervous too. I was on the edge of my seat, hoping that the score would stay the same. I was fiddling with the hem of my shirt to stop myself from standing up and screaming towards the players. 
We did have a good few people that came out to support us, yes. But our biggest supporter sat on the bench. He was biting his nails, screaming in frustration and cursing loudly whenever we missed a goal. 
“Fuck! Who in their goddamn mind would even pass like that!”, or “Holy shit! That was fucking close!” and my favourite: “Son of a… get that fucking ball in the goal you arseholes!”
Least to say, I was entertained for the match.  
Currently we had the ball on our side, passing each other the ball and walking forwards towards the goal. Once we had crossed the midfielders of the opponents, Zayn passed the ball towards Brad who then passed it on to Ben. Ben had a good shot, and could easily get the ball miles away. So when Louis sprinted towards the goal, Ben saw an opportunity to pass the ball onto him. He put the ball in front of him and shot the ball, right into Louis’ feet. I could see that Louis was looking for someone to help him out, because there were two defenders near the goal and he couldn’t pass them himself. Luckily Harry had seen it, and sprinted with him on the other side. He made sure he ran close to the goal but not to close, so he had the space to shoot the ball right in if he got it. He shouted for Louis to pass the ball onto him, and Louis immediately did. The ball was flying over the defenders, in a straight line towards Harry. Harry prepared for it, taking his foot back so he could place it right on it. He jumped, the ball almost near him, and kicked the ball--- 
Right before he could kick it, a defender sprung onto him making Harry fall right to the ground. “Nooooo!” Niall yelled loudly from beside me, “For fuck’s sake no!”
I heard everyone gasp from the audience, immediately voicing their worries from behind me. I panicked for a second, freezing in my spot. Shit! Harry just fell to the ground. He was laying there, in pain. I heard the coach shout my name, making me snap back to reality. Immediately I grabbed my bag, and ran towards him in a hurry. Shiiit. Why Harry? Others had gathered around him, so I couldn’t see how Harry was doing. Right as I arrived near him, I shouted for them to walk away. 
“Everyone! Leave!” 
My voice must have sounded really angry or intimidating, because everyone hurried away quickly. This way, I could finally see Harry. He was laying on the ground, on his back. He had his hands on his forehead, making me think there was something wrong with his head. Hopefully he didn’t have a concussion or something. The defender that had pushed him to the ground, was still looking at Harry. He was probably worried about what he’d done, but I didn’t care. 
“What are you doing? Leave!” 
He started saying that he was sorry, and that he could help, but I wasn’t having it. “I don’t care, leave before I force you.” 
He nodded, worry evident on his face. For a second I felt bad, but then I saw that Harry was still laying here, and then those thoughts escaped my mind right away. The defender walked away eventually, leaving me alone with Harry. I looked at him, seeing how he had one hand over his head, feeling for bruising. The moment I sat down next to him, he turned his head towards me. He opened his eyes, and smiled.
“Am I dreaming?” 
Relief washed over me immediately. At least he could still make jokes. I began sitting next to his head, wetting my sponge once again and placing it over his head. “You okay, Harry?” 
He nodded, his head in front of my knees on the ground. I looked at him from above, so that I could see how his body reacted when I would do certain things to see if he was okay. Right now I had my hands on his forehead with the sponge in between, “I’m fine actually, Mattie. I just wanted you to come save me.”
I rolled my eyes, not believing him. “No you didn’t.” 
He laughed, causing his chest to go up and down, “I did,” He smirked, his eyes shining as he looked at me. 
I shook my head in disbelief, staring at him smiling at me for a second. But then I remembered I could take revenge. He saw that I was wetting the sponge again, and began to sit up straight. “No you won’t!’
I began splashing him with water in revenge, making him soaking wet. I was laughing my ass off, seeing him so flustered and shocked at what I was doing. “Mattie! Shit, stop!”
I was aware that the rest of the team and the coach were still watching us, so I stopped splashing him, throwing the sponge in the water bag. I took a step towards his soaked body, pressing my lips together and looking him in the eye mischievously. “Next time you’ll play a joke on me like that, I’ll take you to the hospital so you’ll have to sit next to Niall for a month.”
He laughed loudly, throwing his head back. “Noted, doc, noted.” 
As I walked away smiling and the referee began gathering everyone together again, I heard him shout one more thing after me, “I’ll pay you back tonight Mattie! Watch out!”
I just shot my middle finger in the air, hearing him bark out another laugh in response. 
--
The party was in full swing when Niamh, Emily, Joey and I arrived. It was in Harry’s and his roommates’ house, one that I had never been in before, let alone seen how packed it could be. Everyone that was just a little bit known around campus, was there. I recognized some people from my class, and others I knew because they were popular around campus. 
When we arrived, the door was unlocked and you could just walk right in. That wasn’t unusual with the parties I went to, if we ever went to house parties. There was a pile of jackets formed, so we just threw ours over it. Joey and Emily claimed they knew some people and went off to speak to them, leaving me and Niamh alone at the party. 
“Let’s have a drink,” Niamh said to me over the loud music, “We need to get drunk to process this!”
I nodded in agreement, already taking her arm towards the kitchen. It was already quite busy, but we had come a little late. We didn’t want to be the first ones to arrive, as we didn’t know a lot of people here. All the drinks were placed on a table, leaving us with a lot of choice of what we wanted to drink tonight. I hadn’t realised before this that these college boys actually spend a lot of time planning these things. They had a lot to think about. And to be fair, they had done a good job at it.
We had appropriately dressed ourselves, luckily. Since we didn’t really know what to expect, we just went for black: Niamh wearing a tight dress with spaghetti straps and me wearing a skirt with a t-shirt. It was something you could never go wrong with.
I poured myself some alcohol, waiting for Niamh to do the same. Once we both had our drinks, we leaned against the table and started looking at people. This was our favourite activity to do. You saw some crazy people at parties, so we had a lot to think about. 
“Oh wow, there’s already people on the edge of drunkenness.” Niamh laughed, raising her eyebrows at a boy who had run straight towards the loo. “Jesus wept.”
“Shit,” I exclaimed, looking at a girl who had just came in with a gift in her hand, “It’s someone’s birthday? Did we need to bring a gift?”
She just shrugged her shoulders at me. “No fucking clue.” And resumed to look around the room. We had been sipping on our drinks lightly, just enjoying the music that was blasting loudly and how everyone was dancing and talking with each other.
“Look at that girl, she's going for it!” Niamh pointed out at me, looking at a girl that was standing in the middle of the room, dancing her ass off. I followed her gaze, seeing how the girl was dancing to the music, not caring about anyone it seemed like. I wish I could be like her. “She’s really good!”
Right as I wanted to respond to Niamh, I saw that Louis had walked in the door she was close to. I rolled my eyes and turned around, looking at the sink. 
“What’re you doing?” Niamh asked me incredulously, looking at me over her shoulder. 
“I don’t know,” I answered her, “He just annoys me.”
She came to stand beside me, searching for my eyes. “How? Last time we talked about him you said he was hot!”
I shrugged my shoulders again, “He’s just annoying.”
“Right.” She answered, turning around again and taking a sip of her drink. “If you want to fuck him just tell me. I could be your wing woman.”
I bumped my hips with hers, and turned around to look at the crowd again, “Never.” 
She laughed, standing up straight and finishing up her drink. “Okay then, just tell me why another time. I just saw Harry come in and you need to talk with him.” 
Immediately I felt my stomach go wild. Shit. My eyes began to search around the room, looking for his head of curls amongst the crowd. I found him talking with a friend of his from his team, who’s name I couldn’t remember. Harry looked extremely attractive tonight. Instead of the usual kit I saw him in, he wore all black. His black vans stood out with the other clothing he wore, black skinny jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Even with such a simple look, he made it seem like he wore a million dollars. As he was talking, his jawline moved with his mouth and it made me just weak in the knees. He was actually so hot, how hadn’t I fully appreciated this man before? 
It seemed like he was asking if his friend wanted a drink, because he leaned into him with his ear, nodded and started walking away towards the kitchen. Oh no, why had I been sitting in the kitchen, so obviously out in the open? He strode confidently towards the drinks, when in mid-walk he saw me sitting there. Niamh also recognised him and saw he was walking over here, so she made up an excuse to leave. “Just need the loo for a moment,” 
I couldn’t answer her, because Harry interrupted my thoughts. He was also smirking at me as he arrived right in front of me, only leaving a few inches in between us. I crossed my arms, looking up at him challengingly. 
“Hey doc,” he greeted, speaking in a raspy voice. He began to smile mischievously, making me wonder what he was going to say, “Or should I say, hero?”
I groaned out loud, hitting him in the chest with one hand, and shaking my head. It made him laugh, making his chest vibrate. I could almost feel the vibrations with how close we were. “Shut up,”
He was still chuckling a bit as if he were still thinking about it. Suddenly he stopped, and looked me right in the eyes. “Really though, that was really hot with how you fought everyone out of your way for me.”
I felt my face go warm and I tried to not to smile too much. “Thank you,” I said, straightening up a bit and raising my chin up at him, “But like hell that I fought everyone away.” 
He gasped, nudging me with his arms “Heyy, you did!” he said with a fake offense, frowning his eyebrows, “You were basically performing CPR on me with the way you acted!”
I laughed, making me lean into him a little bit and hide in his shoulder. When I brought myself back in front of him, I raised my eyebrows at him, “You would like me to give you a mouth to mouth performance, wouldn’t you?” 
My heart skipped a bit when he got all serious and looked me straight in the eye. “I would,” 
Our eye contact was intense, I could feel it in my stomach. He was so close to me, I could feel his breath on my face. I was almost certain that he could feel my heartbeat against his chest. We weren’t even touching completely, but it was beating so hard that I wouldn’t doubt it. I looked at his green eyes, to his plump and pink lips. They were a nice shape, and I felt the urge to just kiss them. I didn’t though, maybe he did this with every other girl he tried to get in his bed. 
I was proven right when he took my hand, “Come with me,” 
I tried to act confused, furrowing my eyebrows, “Where to?” 
He didn’t respond, just tugged on my hand and began leading the way. People weren’t even looking at us, they were dancing or drinking and talking. And even though I liked doing those things at parties, this thing that I thought Harry was planning to do with me, seemed much more fun. 
He made his way towards the door to go upstairs, avoiding bumping in with people or getting splashed by someone’s drink. Once we were on the way up he let go of my hand so we could walk better. There were only one or two people upstairs, making out with each other or searching for someone. Two doors were open out of the four, and Harry went into a closed one with me. 
He revealed his bedroom to me, which was completely dark apart from the moon that lit up the room a little bit. His room was mostly a dark blue, with a grey colour covering the one wall that wasn’t blue. His bed stood in the middle of the room with two bedside tables next to it. He had a desk and his sports bag that he had used still stood in his room, untouched. He didn’t have a desk, but a dresser was shoved against the wall. Once I did my onceover, I saw Harry standing in front of his bed, looking at me. 
He smiled, and began to walk over to me again, making me back into the door once he reached me completely. He stood closer than he did when we were in the kitchen, his pelvis against mine and his chest leaning against my body. “Hey,” He said again, even raspier this time. 
I looked up at him, examining his face, “Hey.”
He cleared his throat, and hesitated a bit, “Can I kiss you?”
I hesitated, “One thing.”
He raised his eyebrows, “Tell me you don’t fuck girls every week, otherwise I won’t be able to handle this.”
He took a step back, frowning, “Who told you that?”
Looking up at him, I felt myself growing more nervous, “Just hear that about you.”
He looked up at the ceiling, then back at me. “I promise you Mattie. I didn’t bring you here or invite you just to fuck you. I’d happily talk with you all night. You seem fun.”
I smiled, “And,” he continued, “my roommates are the ones who get laid every party. I do have sex yeah, but I promise you, I haven’t had sex since the first week of this semester.”
With the sincerity in his eyes, I believed him, “Okay, you can kiss me now.”
“Only if you want to.”
I looked into his eyes, “I really do.”
With one nod and another reassuring glance he was in the clear and we were done with being slow. He smacked his lips against mine, moving his arms from against the door to my body. Roaming his hand around my hips to my ass as he hungrily kissed me. I kissed him back, recuperating his movements. He squeezed my ass, making me gasp a little bit, giving him access to use his tongue in the kiss as well. I moved my arms from his shoulders to his neck, pushing him closer to me with my fingertips in his hair. Our tongues were wet and desperate, making the kiss hot and heavy. Once he had enough of just making out, he grabbed me by my thighs and lifted me up, turning me around towards the bed. 
I fell backwards onto his soft mattress, with Harry on top of me. My legs were around him in an instant, crossing my feet on his back. I still had my sneakers on and all my clothes, but not for long. Harry’s hand went from my ass to the hem of my shirt. I lifted my back for him, pausing in the kiss, to let him take my top off in one swift movement, leaving me in my bra. I didn’t wear my sexiest bra, but he didn’t seem to mind. His mouth went from the sweet spots on my neck towards my cleavage, leaving wet kisses on my body. He was already working on getting my bra off, pushing the straps off my shoulders. I sat upright for him, making him readjust his position to get closer to me. He was struggling with the clasp, so I unclasped my bra for him and threw it on the ground. He didn’t waste any time cupping my breasts, feeling them and leaning in my neck to leave some more spots, but I wasn’t having it. I pushed him away on his chest, making him stand on the ground again. He looked at me in confusion for a moment, until I stood up and pushed him on the bed. I bent my knees so I could reach his t-shirt, and he got the idea. Moving his arms up to let me take his shirt off, he gladly let me do it. 
His chest was revealed to me, just like mine was to him. This wasn’t enough, though. I crouched on my knees completely so I was level with his belly button, and began to unbutton his jeans. His bulge was evident in the tight material, so when I moved the zipper down I cupped him over his jeans and pants, making him groan in response. 
“Fuck, Mattie.” 
I just smiled at him, moving to tug at his jeans. He got the hint and thrust his hips up, so I could take his jeans off. Once they were off, he was just left in his boxers. I moved a little closer to him, so I was level with his bulge, making me look up at him with wide eyes. “Impressive,” I smirked. 
He wasn’t having it, and took his boxers off immediately, revealing his dick to me that sprung to his stomach. He must be proper into it, because I had never had a man be this turned on from just kissing. He threw his boxers onto the pile we had already made, and leaned on his arms so he could look at me properly. I took him in my hands, gliding my thumb over his tip. I looked at him for his consent, and he nodded at me eagerly. That was all I needed before I licked him on the tip. He responded loudly, groaning and moaning through the room. I never knew he was so loud in the bedroom. 
I licked him from his balls to the tip, and let him slip in my mouth to take all of him. He moved his hand in my hair, not pushing me, but finally having something he could do with his hands. 
I started bobbing my head up and down, all the while looking at him how he responded to me. His eyes were closed and his pink lips were voluminous and opened just slightly. 
I enjoyed giving blowjobs, especially if it was someone as responsive as Harry. He was groaning and moaning for me, letting me know how much he enjoyed it. “A-ah,” He cried once I hit him in the back of my throat. “Fuck,”
Kissing his tip, feeling his balls and sliding my tongue over his dick was making me wet as well. He still had one hand in my hair, the other going from my arms that were drawn over his upper thighs. My naked boobs rested on his naked legs, and my still clothed butt was stuck in the air. 
He slid his hand over my arm and went to my back, leaning over my head that was still bobbing over his cock. Once he could reach the hem of my skirt, he started moving the zipper. At least, trying to. 
I stopped sucking him off and let my mouth pop when his dick was out of my mouth, making him moan in annoyance. I quickly took my skirt and panties off and went back on my knees in front of him, when he was the one that stopped me this time. He grabbed my arms and basically threw me on the bed, covering my body immediately. Fuck, he was good. 
He started kissing me again, while I searched for his dick and began giving him a handjob. He cupped my breasts and squeezed them. I started leading his dick towards my entrance, giving him a hint of what I wanted. He backed away to look at me with wide eyes, paused for a bit and went to his dresser to get a condom. I watched him as he slid it on, and grabbed his shoulders as he started to position himself in front of me. Before he did, he looked at me once more. I nodded in approval, and he slid himself in me slowly. I could feel him filling me up immediately, making me throw my head back in bliss. “Fuck, Harry..”
“You like my dick, don’t you?” He said as he began thrusting into me. 
I could only nod in response, gasping as he looked at me, “Tell me,” he said as he thrusted into me hard once, “Tell me how you feel.”
His trust were getting harder with each second I wasn’t responding, because I could only moan in pleasure, “Fuck Harry,” I moaned, “I feel so good..”
He reacted with his hips. Thrusting into me rapidly, making my breasts go up and down and the bed creak against the wall. “I know, baby, I know.” 
“Holy shit, I do.” 
He started to kiss my neck, hungrily going for it as my legs crossed at his back once again. I was certain that the guests that were still here could hear us, but I didn’t give a shit. I wanted to everyone to know that he was fucking me, and not some other girl. 
“You’re so good baby, I knew it,” 
I started to roam his back with my arms, feeling his muscles move each time he thrusted. His dick was so long and hard that he hit the right spots inside of me each time. I could feel my head getting a little lighter, and my stomach filled with warmth. “I’m gonna cum, Harry, please,”
“Begging for it, see?” He cockily stated once he moved to look at me again, he even had a smirk on his face when he was fucking me. “Knew you would do me good,”
“Mhh, Harry, almost there,” 
“Me too, baby, me too.” 
He thrusted a couple more times before I could really feel it, my pleasure taking over me completely. I came hard, my legs trembling around him and my head thrown back. My orgasm made me cry out loud, and he was still going at it. 
He was coming too, I knew it. His thrust became harder before they slowed down, squeezing his eyes shut in pleasure. He groaned loudly when he came, looking beautiful while he did. His cheeks had gone slightly pink, making his lips stand out even more, and his hair was all dishevelled and damp with sweat. Once I felt that he filled the condom inside of me, he opened up his eyes and slid out of me. 
We both smiled at each other and started catching our breaths from out intensive activities, “Fuck, Mattie.” He laughed, pulling out of me completely and leaned on his arms to stand up. Once he cleaned up the condom, throwing it in the bin, he started walking back to the bed. He plopped on it, almost on top of me. “That was good.” 
I nodded in response, “Almost as good as Louis’ goals.” I smirked, hoping to get a reaction out of him with bullshit. 
He laughed, letting his head fall on the pillow, “Shut up.”
There we lay, both naked over the covers with our chest moving as we breathed, still hearing the thumping music from downstairs where the party was still going in full swing. 
“I told you,” He started, looking at me playfully, “I would get you wet later.” 
I groaned, but couldn’t help to let a laugh escape. I grabbed my pillow from underneath my head, saw how he was smiling to himself, and smacked him in the head with it. 
Payback, my arse.
I felt it from the moment I had walked on the field with the others. 
Someone was staring at me. Or everyone was. I didn’t look behind me to see if it was true, but I could feel their eyes staring straight at my ass. They asked me to wear athletic clothing for this, so I just chose the first thing in my dresser that I saw, picking out some black yoga pants. The material clung to my butt and I regretted I had put them on the moment I had arrived here. My oversized sweater I chose to wear over it luckily covered my upper half, a decision I did appreciate I made now.
Walking onto the sports centre was nerve-wracking in itself. I liked sports, I liked watching it, but having the possibility of someone else watching you do something was disturbing. I couldn’t find the way I was supposed to go. I didn’t bring my hair tie so I was forced to keep my hair floating around my face and this place was huge. There were several buildings and a squala of fields for specific sports. Indoors, outdoors, you name it. The college was probably sponsored by some wealthy upper class fathers who wanted their sons to be on the radar for new opportunities.
Luckily, I was led right to the canteen which was easily locatable since it had a terrace. A terrace! Lord, I feel like I should’ve worn other clothing for this. 
I approached a team player who had blond hair, feeling the nerves floating around in my stomach, “Uhh… Hi.” 
The boy who was filling up his water bottle turned around, raising his eyebrows, “Hi there.” 
Shit, he was nice. I inhaled, “I was looking for uhh, the football team…” He gave me the same look, “I was asked to help.., or I need to help with their inju-”
“Ahh!” He exclaimed, disregarding his bottle and he turned to fully face me, “You’re the one!”
I shrugged my shoulders, “I guess I am?”
“My name’s Niall.” He held out his hand, “I’m the star player of the time you’ve been assigned to!” 
I shook his hand, smiling a little. “Hi,” We still held hands, “Do you know where I’m supposed to go?” 
Still holding my hand, he began shaking it up and down. “I’m glad we finally have someone.”
“You are?”
“Yeh, we desperately need new people to liven things up a little.” 
I pried my hands from his grip, which wasn’t that strong. But I was already sweating, I didn’t need more reasons to be nervous. “Alright, that sounds good.” 
The pregnant pause that followed made him inhale and pack his bottle in his bag, “You are probably wanted by the football field, which is right there.” 
He pointed out somewhere behind me, making me turn my head. I already saw some players dribbling with the ball, so that was easily recognisable. “Go to the coach, he’s the tallest and biggest one. Has a loud voice too, probably won’t miss him.” He grinned, making me smile up at him. 
“I’ll meet you there in a second, we’re starting in like two minutes.” 
I nodded, “Alright, thanks…”
“Niall.” He answered for me, giving me a wink. “But you can call me anytime.” 
I rolled my eyes at his remark, but by the look on his face and the laugh that followed his statement, I knew it was to lighten my mood and assure me. 
I walked towards the field with a small smile on my face and with a lot less nerves. The players were now assembling and putting their heads together so I walked towards the dug-out and waited for them. There weren’t a lot of spectators or bystanders standing around the field, since it was a friendly game. I inhaled again. This should be fine. I recognized some of the players. They were all from the same college after all. Why did I sign up for this? I’m such an idiot.
When the team was done with sharing strategy and doing their, what appeared to be a yell, the trainer walked towards me. I was nervous when he approached me, he towered over everyone. 
“Hi Mattie,” he said, “You ready?”
I stood there, with my own little bag of supplies in my hand. I nodded. Luckily he spoke to me when I got drafted for this, so I already knew him. What if it was someone else who ended up being the coach? Since our conversation was very brief, you’re a nurse, I’m in need of a carer for the team, the deal was easily made. I didn’t know exactly what to take with me for this, but it was a college football team anyways, so nothing was really high-class. I had put some aspirin, plasters, scissors, antiseptic wipes, bandages and tweezers in my supply bag. That should be enough for a college team right? Surely they wouldn’t crash and fall every single game. He saw me fiddling with the bag, and smiled at me, “Good luck.” 
I nodded at him in gratitude and looked around the field. Gosh, couldn’t I talk? I was punching myself in my head. The trainer, whose name I seemed to have forgotten the second after the interview, sat down on his seat. 
Right now, all the players on the field were starting to go to their positions, other members of staff, the referee, seconds officials and the trainers and staff of the opposing team, all seemed ready to go. It wasn't hot or cold, but the slight breeze that blew over the field chilled me just slightly, making the tip of my nose go red. My job was already halfway done, which is just waiting for something to happen and providing the supplies they needed. If something did happen, I was the chosen person to help the players and fix their injuries. I didn't expect that these games would be very intense anyways. The players often knew each other since the teams were always against other colleges. Today it was just a practise match to start off the season, so I should be fine. 
The minute everyone started and the whistle blew, I wondered where Niall even was. Wasn’t he one of the players? As everyone was running and shouting on the field, I felt like he fit right in. I let my eyes wander. I didn’t know that much about football. I rarely watched the Champions League, I could just about name all the rules. The players, however, were something that did interested me. Especially the ones I already knew.
As I was sitting there, everyone seemed to be in the right place and doing exactly what everyone expected of them. The coach shouted an obnoxious loud praise towards his team, making me jump in my seat. The referee whistled at what suggestiably were the right times. No-one seemed to be getting angry at him. They were getting into it already. It'll probably go fine tonight, and my nerves I had bubbling in my stomach would probably be for nothing. At least, I was hoping for that. I watched the players going for the ball intensely, running after it and passing each other the ball. 
Right as the spirits of the team heightened and they almost scored, Niall crept up from behind me. “You didn’t even give me your name.” 
I shrieked, startling even the trainer who was deep into the game, “Jesus, Niall. Don’t scare me like that.” 
He sat down next to me, “Sorry, babe.” 
“My name’s Mattie.” I said, looking at him briefly. He nodded his head, “Like that.” 
I smiled, turning my head towards the field. “Aren’t you playing?”
He pointed towards his knee, that was covered by his track pants, “This annoying thing won’t let me.” 
“Ahh, that’s too bad.” I grimaced. 
“It’s alright,” he shrugged, “get to sit next to you.” 
I rolled my eyes again. “You’re not getting any.” 
He burst out laughing, “What! How could you resist me?” 
I playfully smiled at him. I was glad he was here to ease my nerves, “Dunno,” I glanced at the field, “quite like the others.” 
“You already know them?” He asked. 
“Yeah,” I nodded, “same college.”
Liam was the goalie. He was broad, quick and could move fast so he was the one that suited that job the most. He was also rough, and shouted really loudly which was a benefit when he would have to coach the team from the goal. He scared opponents off easily, grabbing the ball before they could shoot to keep the score at zero. Liam shared a house with Zayn, Louis and Brad, who were also playing tonight. Zayn was a little bit more of an introvert, and I didn’t really speak to him much. He did show he was a good midfielder though. He was quick and could pass the ball to his teammates effortlessly. When he did score though, he wouldn’t hesitate to cheer loudly and scare everyone with his intensity. 
Brad was a little bit older than the rest, but he was great nonetheless. He was very broad in the shoulders and had legs every gym boy would be jealous of. He was the ex-boyfriend of my sister’s, who also attended this college a few years ago. But to me, he still felt more like an older brother than someone who had been in my sister’s life for years. 
Louis was very serious. He was known for only having one thing on his mind, and that was to score goals. He was quick, could dribble fast and made the stronger players against him look back at him in surprise. Others called him Suarez because he was just that good, and his name was close to Luiz’, which made it easier for his teammates to choose a name. He was actually the only one, alongside Harry, to maybe get upgraded to a higher team. From what I heard of some girls on campus, was that he was a bit snarky. He had some quick-witted comebacks, and he didn’t care if he would hurt your feelings.
The house right next to their one, was filled with other boys from the team. This one was occupied with Josh, Ben and Harry. They had been friends since they were around sixteen, and now had the best bond you could have as college brothers. The three boys were always seen with each other, going out together and even doing groceries together. It wouldn’t surprise me if they also fucked the same girls. 
I actually didn’t know them that well, they were just known around campus. That house was classed as the party house and had a reputation of being used to shag a new girl every week. Don’t get me wrong, they were also good at their sport, but the girls they pulled mostly went for their looks rather than for their skills. 
It wasn’t a surprise that two of the boys that I knew, Louis and Harry, played as strikers, in the centre forward position. Harry was the only one that I had never actually spoken to before but knew from the parties. He was in the team because he was good, but also because he could easily show off to the ladies that way. He was popular amongst the college, mainly because he offered up his house to all the party-goers that wanted to celebrate a win that he created. No-one complained about that, seeing as he was gifted with the most attractive face on the campus. He could dribble the ball, yes, and he had the skill of a young Neymar when it came to approaching the goal. But with those eyes and smile with dimples, and his full head of curls that were covered in a backwards snap-back most of the time, I couldn’t help but check him out instead of his moves on the field. He was the captain of the team, living up to his name. He was also a leader of the group outside of football, which made all the girls like him even more.
“Ahh,” Niall exhaled, “shame I don’t know you.” 
This time, I shoved him, making him laugh. He was already a pain in my arse. “Fuck off.”
The boys were playing for around fifteen minutes now, without something happening that would probably make me do some work. The coach was getting into it, standing up every so often and giving the players some tips. He had really created a team, I felt like. You could feel the bond and fondness between them. When a player fell down, another player helped him up and patted him to ask if he was okay. When it almost went wrong and the opposing team had a shot at the goal, everyone from the team would shout positives to each other. It felt like a real team. This team wasn’t only together while playing, though. I had seen them all at parties together and they also liked to play outside of the games they already had. 
I was really into it the first fifteen minutes, but now I was growing kind of bored. Sure, watching boys play was fun, but with no work or particular action, it was kind of boring. Especially since it was a friendly match. The one form of entertainment I got, however, was Niall, who was really into the game.
“Fuck’s sake, Leon! You’re a defender! You should play in the back!” He shouted profanities to his team mates, cheering them on. 
When Niall saw that Leon didn’t comply, he nudged another player next to him and said something in his ear with a scowl on his face. It made me grin lightly in my seat, him being so serious. I liked watching them already. 
“Come on!” He yelled again, standing up in his seat, “Run Louis! Go after…” 
I was looking at Niall with a smile on my face. I also saw how his face turned into a grimace and his hands went to cover his mouth. “Oooh,” 
I looked at the field, panicked. Niall nudged me, tapping his hands on my arm. I saw that Louis had fallen to the ground, his arms holding his leg up now, groaning in pain. It was probably his ankle. I didn’t know what to do at first, shocked that something had actually happened. I looked at Niall, who was already looking at me, nudging his head towards the field. “Go!”
I jumped from my seat, wanting to run straight to the victim. I saw the referee signing for me, which made me run onto the field even more desperately. After a couple of seconds of running, I realised I had forgotten my bag. Fuck. Seriously? Groaning to myself in embarrassment, I quickly grabbed my supplies and ran a little quicker to the boy who was lying on the field in pain. 
“Hey,” I said as I approached him, a little out of breath from running so quickly. 
He didn’t look at me, just kept touching his ankle. It made me frown, it was probably really bad. He was crying out in pain, and some teammates and opponents had gathered around him to see what happened. In the meantime I had wet the sponge in the bag that the coach had brought with him, stretching Louis’ leg. He didn’t really want to, resisting to want to move it. 
“Don’t worry, it’ll be alright.” 
As I was wetting his ankle to cool it down over his shoes, I tried to look if it was bruised or if it had swollen up. None so far that I could see, so that was a good sign. I stretched his leg a bit to keep it moving, but with his socks on, I couldn’t see if there were any wounds or cuts. I tried to sit him upright, but he wasn’t having it. “Calm down,” He hissed, still holding his ankle. He sat upright now, finally looking who was taking care of him. When he saw it was me, he raised his eyebrows. 
“What’re ye doing here?”
I looked at him in shock, already not wanting to help him anymore. So much for running hurriedly over to him. I tried to not react to his degrading question, although it was hard. I continued to check out his foot, trying to place it straight down on the field. He placed his other food next to the injured one, and leaned on his knees with his elbows. The trainer gave Louis a bottle with water, which he gladly took. He took a large gulp, sitting there for a while. Was I overreacting or something? He seemed to be in a lot of pain, why was he now so calm and chilling?
I started grabbing my things, giving Louis one last look to see if he was okay. He seemed to be fine, being helped up by another team mate and testing to stand on it. 
I couldn’t believe this, he was groaning about his ankle no less than one minute ago! What an idiot. Letting me come all the way over here for nothing. As I was walking away frowned my eyebrows in confusion. If it was going to be like this the whole time, I was gone. Not gonna happen. I was here for a reason and the team mates should take that seriously. 
I looked back one last time to Louis who was now laughing with Brad, which resulted in me bumping into someone. His back was hard. He had drawn his head back so he could fill his mouth with water, causing me to also run into the back of this someone’s arms. 
“Fuck, sorry.” I exclaimed, “I shouldn’t..”
When he turned his head around and I saw who it was, I immediately shut my mouth and stared at him. I was frozen into my place for a moment, not knowing what to say. He turned around completely, a dimple showing on his face. I blushed. He was even more attractive up close.
“Don’t worry about it, babe.” He didn’t look angry or anything at all, he actually smiled, which made me feel a little bit better. I wanted to keep on walking to let me soak in my distress towards the situation that just occured, when Louis spoke up again from behind us, “So who’s the pretty girl who wears tight ass clothes to her job?” 
I heard him laugh quietly at his own remark, and he said it loud enough to let his mates in on it too. Instead of just ignoring him and walking on, I decided to turn around and shout after him, 
“Someone who can actually pull it off.”
His team mates ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ at my quick remark. I sighed. Harry was still looking at me. I saw his face turn into a frown, silently apologizing to me with his gaze. I shrugged at him. My comeback towards Louis made me feel good again. He’s the idiot.
When I turned around again, and actually began walking, I smiled quietly to myself, forgetting the situation. This was going to be an interesting job.
--
The whistle blew, announcing the end of the game. For a practice match, the game went surprisingly well. There weren't any more instances or fake ankle injuries, what I was glad about. Harry had scored the one and only goal, which made the team go home with a win. Even though the game was for practice, they were pretty happy about it.
"Okay boys! Bundle up," the coach announced as everyone was walking off the field. I was still standing by the dug-out, not really knowing if I had to say goodbye or when the next game was. I saw everyone rounding around the coach, listening in, just like I did.
"Great game, happy about this one. Leon, next time: please bring your shin pads, so you could actually play and I could see what condition you're in. I have made notes and I will be announcing who's playing this Saturday, before the real game." The team looked around at each other, gauging who played good tonight and who didn't. 
Apparently they used this match as a mock try-out, so the trainer and coach could see who were in shape and who weren't for the first big game on Saturday.
"Before you all go, I would like to introduce you to our new on scene doctor, who will be helping you if there's anything actually wrong." He glared at Louis when he said that last part, making him scowl.
I took a step forward, looking around the group. I saw that everyone was intensely looking at me, so I spoke up quickly, "Hi everyone, my name's Mattie and just like Patrick said, I'll be helping you guys out during the games."
"You'll help me out outside of the game, too?"
I ignored him, saw that Niall was once again encouraging me and disregarding his team mate who shouted that from the group, nodding his head for me to continue. I smiled a bit, and went on, "I'm studying to be a doctor, and I'm currently doing the bachelors for it, so yeah.."
Patrick, the coach, nodded at me and returned to the group, "For now, keep in shape boys and help each other out. I haven't decided anything yet so miracles can happen!"
The team shuffled away quietly, talking to each other. I tapped Patrick on his shoulder, "Sorry, coach, is there some place where I can put my bag so I don't have to bring it with me every time?" 
He nodded, gazing above me to where the boys were walking, "Of course Mattie, just a moment,” He took two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly, making me try to cover my ears, “Captain!" he shouted, "Harry come here!" 
I turned around and saw that Harry was saying goodbye to his teammates, as he already heard his couch, before jogging over to us. He nodded at me, looking me up and down and placed his arms in his sides as a greeting and turned to Patrick, "What's up coach?" 
Patrick cleared his throat and looked at me, "Mattie here would like to put her bag in the dressing room so she won't have to take it with her," he started grabbing his keys from his pocket, "you can show her, yes?" 
Harry nodded, taking the keys from him. "No worries coach, I'll help her." 
The coach patted Harry in his shoulder, "Thank you, bring the keys to my office tomorrow. And work on your left foot!" 
Niall was waving goodbyes at me, so I quickly waved back, “Bye!” and turned towards Harry. 
With the team and Niall gone, it was just Harry and I. It was still dark, with only the lights from the field still on. Harry jiggled the keys in front of us, and winked at me, "I'll show ya," 
It wasn't that I was nervous or anything, but I hesitated for two seconds before strolling behind him. He was so cocky, with his kit still on and smirking all the time. I couldn't help but watch him while he was playing. He had a certain glow around him, an aura that just radiated confidence. He could probably pull everything off and he certainly could wrap everyone around his finger. 
"So you enjoyed the game, doc?" 
I cringed at the nickname, but decided to let it go this time, "I enjoyed watching it yeah," 
Nodding, he faced me, "You liked my goal?" 
He said it with a smirk and as if he knew I was watching him the whole time, which was true, but he didn't need to know that. 
"Actually, I really liked how Leon could outrun everyone on the field.." 
He stopped abruptly and turned around, in the middle of the path. Once he was fully in front of me, he leaned in, “I saw you watching me, you know.”
Because he stopped suddenly and leaned in immediately, I accidently took a step too much, almost bumping into him again. “Maybe I was watching Louis.”
He laughed, showing me his dimple as he looked to the side. “I know you weren’t, that douchebag really doesn’t know how to play it.”
I nodded my head, and rolled my eyes as if he was stating the obvious. “That’s right.” 
I began walking again, not really knowing where to, but at least in the same direction we were already going. Harry followed me soon after, jumping into step with me. I already saw the building coming closer, which made me think of something. “Why aren’t you all showering in the dressing room after a game?”
He bumped his shoulder with mine, which made me notice the height difference we had. He was a lot taller than me, my eyes looking straight at his collarbones when I turned to look at him. 
I looked up at him, raising my eyebrows in question. 
“You would like to see that, huh?” He stated, smiling shyly at me.
I groaned, “Harryy..”
“Already moaning my name, I see.” 
This time it was me that bumped my shoulder with him, making him laugh in response. “I was just joking, love.” 
When we fell into step once more, he looked ahead and started explaining my question to me, “No we’re not there because it was a practise game and obviously we want to go home fast so we can go to the party later, so we just decided to shower at home.”
I nodded my head, kneading my eyebrows in confusion. There was a party tonight? I haven’t heard anything about that. I quite liked going to parties. Normally my friend Niamh made sure we could get invites so we could go together, but not tonight apparently. It was a Wednesday after all, so maybe she just wanted to stay in tonight. “A party?” I asked Harry. 
He nodded, “Yeah it’s like a frat party only, I would have gotten you an invite but I didn’t really know you before this, soo..”
I laughed, grinning to myself. Harry was really nice. At least, nothing like I had pictured him to be in my head. I didn’t like to judge people before I knew them, but with Harry that was kind of inevitable. Also, I couldn’t exactly invite myself now since he said he didn’t know me but I already knew him. I was not going to make a fool of myself, obviously. So I just shrugged.
“Don’t worry about it.”
We had reached the building where the shower rooms were. We walked quite slow, and it was already quite late so it was kind of eerie here. No lights, the doors were all left open and there were no people to be seen. 
“So these are our shower rooms,” Harry started as we walked into the building after he unlocked it, “We normally take the first one, so you can just put your stuff in there.”
The dressing room was big and spacious. Everyone had a seat, there was a whiteboard in there and the showers were in a separate room. The closet that stood against the wall next to the showers, held all the equipment. “There,” Harry said, as he took my bag and placed my stuff in, “A special place for you.”
As he placed my stuff in the closet, I could finally see how he’d looked up close. He still had his short sleeved football shirt on, revealing his tattoos on his arms. For a guy that was still in college, he sure had a lot of them. Not that I minded. 
“Thank you Harry,” I smiled at him, at which he winked in return when he faced me again. Gosh, I could almost feel myself getting red. I was acting like a schoolgirl, I needed to step up my game. “I’ll remember this place,” I said, as I looked at the showers. I could almost imagine all the naked boys right here. 
I smirked, glancing at the shower himself, “I’m sure you will.”
After making sure everything was locked and closed, we started to walk back to the parking lot.  I was sure Harry was also with his car, considering campus was at least a twenty minute walk. Right as we reached our cars and I wanted to say goodbye, he faced me again and leaned on his already open door, “You know what, Mattie?”
I looked up from the inside of my car towards him, giving him a questioning look. “What?”
“You free Saturday?”
He said it so casually that I wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t asking me out on a date was he? I mean, I was attracted to the guy but I barely knew him! And it wasn’t like I wanted to go out with him, really. But I did want to see him. With hesitation evident in my voice, I answered him, “Yeah, why?”
He saw my facial expression and laughed a bit, “To take you up on my offer. We’re having a party again at our house, so if you’d like to come?”
I almost sighed in relief, “Yeah, I’d like that, thank you Harry.” 
He shot a quick wink at me as he started to climb in his car, “No worries!” As a last afterthought, right as I wanted to shut my door, I heard him shout, “And bring your friends!”
--
My friend Niamh was present at the game this time, too. We were here a little early, so we could catch up on our week and talk about everything that had happened to us. She was a friend from years ago, almost from when we were kids, so she knew everything about me. Unfortunately, she didn’t want to be a doctor and had chosen to go pursue her dancing career. She was really good at it, too. She was asked to dance in videoclips and she often performed on stage with singers or bands. It was her job now, one she always wanted. It made me proud of her, because she actually went for it, and ignored her parent’s complaints about it. She had proved them and their comments about how she was never going to make it, wrong. 
We sat in the canteen, which was still fairly quiet. The game would start at two, and it was now one thirty. I had only been to a professional game once, and then I arrived at two on the dot and I didn’t even look if there were many people there. The only time I’d been here was when I met up with the trainer to see if this was the right place for me to take my extra credits. I could choose to work in an elderly home, or at the swimming pool, but I had decided that this would be more fun for me. I didn’t mind watching 22 boys running after a ball for two hours back to back, particularly. 
Niamh had ordered a coffee whereas I preferred cold drinks over hot drinks, so I just stuck with some soda. “So how has your week been, Matts?” She said as she took a sip of her drink. 
I smiled at her, excited to tell her she would be having something to do tonight, “Actually, I need to invite you to something.”
Her eyebrows perked up, and she placed the drink on the table, “To where?”
I grinned, “Harry Styles asked me if I wanted to come to this party at his house tonight, and said I could bring some friends.” 
“No way!” She exclaimed gasping, “Harry Styles from the team?” 
I nodded happily back at her, “That’s the one.”
She already started to grab her phone, so she could text our friends, I presumed. “When did he ask you this? I didn’t even know you talked to him!”
After I placed my drink down from taking a sip of it myself, I shrugged casually at her. “Well, I had to help at that game you know,” I said as she nodded at me, “And right after he had to show me where I could put my stuff and started talking about this party he had this Wednesday----”
“Oh yes!” She interrupted me with wide eyes, “So that’s the party Emily talked about! She said she had fucked the captain of the team, and that he was quite good. That’s Harry right?” 
I paused, opening my mouth in surprise. “What? Yeah he is the captain.” 
“That’s so sick! I have to text Emily about this party tonight then,” She said, grinning excitedly at me and putting her phone down to look at me again. “Anyway, go on, I’m listening.”
I coughed, choosing to ignore this disappointing bit of information, “Yeah so he told me about that party and that he couldn’t invite me then, which is a bit weird if I think about it now, but anyways, he invited me for tonight and said I could bring some friends.” I forced a smile on my face as I finished my story and looked at her. 
She copied my smile, “That’s great! Maybe I can finally meet Niall and get to know him better, if you know what I mean,” She said as she wiggled her eyebrows. 
I laughed, genuinely excited for her. “I hope you will!” 
After I had finished my drink, I announced to Niamh that I had to leave if I wanted to be at the dug-outs on time. She wished me well, and said that she would see me tonight. After I hugged her and said goodbye to her and the bartender who had served us, I walked out of the canteen towards the shower rooms. 
I needed to grab my bag if I wanted to be helping players today. Today they had to play against a popular college not far away from where we’re from, so it was kind of exciting to be able to see that. The coach had probably announced who would be playing and who wouldn’t for today, which made the pressure on the players to play well a tad bit higher. I knew that obviously Harry and Louis would be playing, along with our goalie Liam, but the rest of the team was still unsure. For me it would be kind of fun if Niall was still benched, just for entertainment, but he would rather be on the field, I’m sure. Hopefully his knee was doing better.
I had reached the shower rooms and discovered that the door was still open, allowing me to walk right in the building. I knew Harry said it was the first one when we dropped my bag off, so without hesitation I whipped open the door. Right as I did that, I heard commotion and deep yelling from from the inside, causing me to rapidly close the door again. Shit. How the fuck was I supposed to know they were still here, they were just warming up outside!
Bowing my head in embarrassment, I quickly walked out of the building. I would just grab my bag when they were out so I didn’t have to walk in with all of them staring at me. I waited outside, leaning against the wall and just staring ahead at the field they would be playing on. They were taking their sweet time. Probably just discussing the match quickly just before the game started, but to me it felt like ages.  
The other team was walking towards the field in a pack, and the referee started to walk towards this building, probably to let our team know the game was about to start. I actually felt nerves bubbling in my stomach, with everything being so serious in comparison to the last game. There were a lot of supporters walking towards the bleachers, too. 
I was just staring at the field again when the door opened and everyone on the team started to walk out. First it was the coach and trainer, who nodded in greeting. The coach was needed here too, apparently. I saw that Niall walked in the front with his jacket still on, so that meant he was benched again. When he walked by me, he ruffled my hair. “Hey Matts!” 
“Hey!” I shouted after him, “I’m here to help you, you know!”
He turned around and laughed loudly, pointing at his knee, “Not me!’
At that, I didn’t have anything back to say knowing he was benched again, so I just shook my head. 
“Is he messing with you?” 
I heard Harry’s voice before I saw him, making me look up towards him. He was walking at the back of the team’s row to get out of the building with a smile on his face, standing out from everyone else walking before him.  
When he reached me, he stopped and raised his eyebrows, awaiting my answer. “No it’s just Niall,” I told him, shrugging my shoulders indifferently. 
“Right,” He smirked, “Well, I figured ‘t was you that tried to come in during our important speech, so I decided to grab your bag for you.” 
My heart swelled just a little bit at his kind gesture, having not expected this at all from him. Shit, you should never listen to rumours, huh? He proved once again that he could actually be kind.
“Wow, Harry! Thank you so much. That’s so kind of you to do that!” I grabbed the bag from him and in a split second decided I wanted to hug him. I threw myself in his arms, catching him off guard for a second. My bag that I now carried in my hand whipped him in his back, causing him to groan in my shoulder. Hugging me back, he draped his arms slowly around me, positioning them right above my ass. 
When I loosened my arms around him, I nodded my head towards the field, “You should probably go,”
He nodded in confirmation, still standing in close proximity to me. “I do.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder blades, and wished him luck for the game, “Break a leg Harry, or don’t actually.”
He laughed at my comment, showing me his dimples. Before he walked away towards the field, he winked at me, “I’ll try not to.”
When I saw him run on the field and give his teammates one last cheer for good luck, I smirked to myself watching him. It was a good choice to wear my tight yoga pants again, at least. 
--
The game was very intense. Not like practise-match intense, but full on competition match intense. Louis luckily hadn’t faked any injuries yet, so that was a good sign. However, I had to run on the field in the first half for Liam, who had taken a good shot right in his eye. He fell to the ground, making me run on the field for him. When I got there, he was already sitting up and not at all groaning in pain like Louis had, making me smile a bit. At least Liam could handle something. I also discovered his injury wasn’t fake, because I could see a bruise forming immediately. I cooled it a little, but told him it would be better if he took some rest. He said that he’d be fine and would just tell me and the coach if he wanted to switch between the other goalkeeper and him. I was still a bit concerned, but he insisted. So I walked back with my supplies and some worries, hoping that it was really just a shot with the ball, and it wouldn’t turn out to be something worse. 
The score was 2-1 for our team, with just ten minutes to go when I came back from grabbing some more water. It was so tense, all the players were proper going for it. The bleachers were filled with supporters, all reacting to the match as if their life depended on it. When the opponents came near our goal, they would stand up and shout at our defenders. And when our team was striking and near the opponents goal, they would yell and scream for us to score. I was nervous too. I was on the edge of my seat, hoping that the score would stay the same. I was fiddling with the hem of my shirt to stop myself from standing up and screaming towards the players. 
We did have a good few people that came out to support us, yes. But our biggest supporter sat on the bench. He was biting his nails, screaming in frustration and cursing loudly whenever we missed a goal. 
“Fuck! Who in their goddamn mind would even pass like that!”, or “Holy shit! That was fucking close!” and my favourite: “Son of a… get that fucking ball in the goal you arseholes!”
Least to say, I was entertained for the match.  
Currently we had the ball on our side, passing each other the ball and walking forwards towards the goal. Once we had crossed the midfielders of the opponents, Zayn passed the ball towards Brad who then passed it on to Ben. Ben had a good shot, and could easily get the ball miles away. So when Louis sprinted towards the goal, Ben saw an opportunity to pass the ball onto him. He put the ball in front of him and shot the ball, right into Louis’ feet. I could see that Louis was looking for someone to help him out, because there were two defenders near the goal and he couldn’t pass them himself. Luckily Harry had seen it, and sprinted with him on the other side. He made sure he ran close to the goal but not to close, so he had the space to shoot the ball right in if he got it. He shouted for Louis to pass the ball onto him, and Louis immediately did. The ball was flying over the defenders, in a straight line towards Harry. Harry prepared for it, taking his foot back so he could place it right on it. He jumped, the ball almost near him, and kicked the ball--- 
Right before he could kick it, a defender sprung onto him making Harry fall right to the ground. “Nooooo!” Niall yelled loudly from beside me, “For fuck’s sake no!”
I heard everyone gasp from the audience, immediately voicing their worries from behind me. I panicked for a second, freezing in my spot. Shit! Harry just fell to the ground. He was laying there, in pain. I heard the coach shout my name, making me snap back to reality. Immediately I grabbed my bag, and ran towards him in a hurry. Shiiit. Why Harry? Others had gathered around him, so I couldn’t see how Harry was doing. Right as I arrived near him, I shouted for them to walk away. 
“Everyone! Leave!” 
My voice must have sounded really angry or intimidating, because everyone hurried away quickly. This way, I could finally see Harry. He was laying on the ground, on his back. He had his hands on his forehead, making me think there was something wrong with his head. Hopefully he didn’t have a concussion or something. The defender that had pushed him to the ground, was still looking at Harry. He was probably worried about what he’d done, but I didn’t care. 
“What are you doing? Leave!” 
He started saying that he was sorry, and that he could help, but I wasn’t having it. “I don’t care, leave before I force you.” 
He nodded, worry evident on his face. For a second I felt bad, but then I saw that Harry was still laying here, and then those thoughts escaped my mind right away. The defender walked away eventually, leaving me alone with Harry. I looked at him, seeing how he had one hand over his head, feeling for bruising. The moment I sat down next to him, he turned his head towards me. He opened his eyes, and smiled.
“Am I dreaming?” 
Relief washed over me immediately. At least he could still make jokes. I began sitting next to his head, wetting my sponge once again and placing it over his head. “You okay, Harry?” 
He nodded, his head in front of my knees on the ground. I looked at him from above, so that I could see how his body reacted when I would do certain things to see if he was okay. Right now I had my hands on his forehead with the sponge in between, “I’m fine actually, Mattie. I just wanted you to come save me.”
I rolled my eyes, not believing him. “No you didn’t.” 
He laughed, causing his chest to go up and down, “I did,” He smirked, his eyes shining as he looked at me. 
I shook my head in disbelief, staring at him smiling at me for a second. But then I remembered I could take revenge. He saw that I was wetting the sponge again, and began to sit up straight. “No you won’t!’
I began splashing him with water in revenge, making him soaking wet. I was laughing my ass off, seeing him so flustered and shocked at what I was doing. “Mattie! Shit, stop!”
I was aware that the rest of the team and the coach were still watching us, so I stopped splashing him, throwing the sponge in the water bag. I took a step towards his soaked body, pressing my lips together and looking him in the eye mischievously. “Next time you’ll play a joke on me like that, I’ll take you to the hospital so you’ll have to sit next to Niall for a month.”
He laughed loudly, throwing his head back. “Noted, doc, noted.” 
As I walked away smiling and the referee began gathering everyone together again, I heard him shout one more thing after me, “I’ll pay you back tonight Mattie! Watch out!”
I just shot my middle finger in the air, hearing him bark out another laugh in response. 
--
The party was in full swing when Niamh, Emily, Joey and I arrived. It was in Harry’s and his roommates’ house, one that I had never been in before, let alone seen how packed it could be. Everyone that was just a little bit known around campus, was there. I recognized some people from my class, and others I knew because they were popular around campus. 
When we arrived, the door was unlocked and you could just walk right in. That wasn’t unusual with the parties I went to, if we ever went to house parties. There was a pile of jackets formed, so we just threw ours over it. Joey and Emily claimed they knew some people and went off to speak to them, leaving me and Niamh alone at the party. 
“Let’s have a drink,” Niamh said to me over the loud music, “We need to get drunk to process this!”
I nodded in agreement, already taking her arm towards the kitchen. It was already quite busy, but we had come a little late. We didn’t want to be the first ones to arrive, as we didn’t know a lot of people here. All the drinks were placed on a table, leaving us with a lot of choice of what we wanted to drink tonight. I hadn’t realised before this that these college boys actually spend a lot of time planning these things. They had a lot to think about. And to be fair, they had done a good job at it.
We had appropriately dressed ourselves, luckily. Since we didn’t really know what to expect, we just went for black: Niamh wearing a tight dress with spaghetti straps and me wearing a skirt with a t-shirt. It was something you could never go wrong with.
I poured myself some alcohol, waiting for Niamh to do the same. Once we both had our drinks, we leaned against the table and started looking at people. This was our favourite activity to do. You saw some crazy people at parties, so we had a lot to think about. 
“Oh wow, there’s already people on the edge of drunkenness.” Niamh laughed, raising her eyebrows at a boy who had run straight towards the loo. “Jesus wept.”
“Shit,” I exclaimed, looking at a girl who had just came in with a gift in her hand, “It’s someone’s birthday? Did we need to bring a gift?”
She just shrugged her shoulders at me. “No fucking clue.” And resumed to look around the room. We had been sipping on our drinks lightly, just enjoying the music that was blasting loudly and how everyone was dancing and talking with each other.
“Look at that girl, she's going for it!” Niamh pointed out at me, looking at a girl that was standing in the middle of the room, dancing her ass off. I followed her gaze, seeing how the girl was dancing to the music, not caring about anyone it seemed like. I wish I could be like her. “She’s really good!”
Right as I wanted to respond to Niamh, I saw that Louis had walked in the door she was close to. I rolled my eyes and turned around, looking at the sink. 
“What’re you doing?” Niamh asked me incredulously, looking at me over her shoulder. 
“I don’t know,” I answered her, “He just annoys me.”
She came to stand beside me, searching for my eyes. “How? Last time we talked about him you said he was hot!”
I shrugged my shoulders again, “He’s just annoying.”
“Right.” She answered, turning around again and taking a sip of her drink. “If you want to fuck him just tell me. I could be your wing woman.”
I bumped my hips with hers, and turned around to look at the crowd again, “Never.” 
She laughed, standing up straight and finishing up her drink. “Okay then, just tell me why another time. I just saw Harry come in and you need to talk with him.” 
Immediately I felt my stomach go wild. Shit. My eyes began to search around the room, looking for his head of curls amongst the crowd. I found him talking with a friend of his from his team, who’s name I couldn’t remember. Harry looked extremely attractive tonight. Instead of the usual kit I saw him in, he wore all black. His black vans stood out with the other clothing he wore, black skinny jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Even with such a simple look, he made it seem like he wore a million dollars. As he was talking, his jawline moved with his mouth and it made me just weak in the knees. He was actually so hot, how hadn’t I fully appreciated this man before? 
It seemed like he was asking if his friend wanted a drink, because he leaned into him with his ear, nodded and started walking away towards the kitchen. Oh no, why had I been sitting in the kitchen, so obviously out in the open? He strode confidently towards the drinks, when in mid-walk he saw me sitting there. Niamh also recognised him and saw he was walking over here, so she made up an excuse to leave. “Just need the loo for a moment,” 
I couldn’t answer her, because Harry interrupted my thoughts. He was also smirking at me as he arrived right in front of me, only leaving a few inches in between us. I crossed my arms, looking up at him challengingly. 
“Hey doc,” he greeted, speaking in a raspy voice. He began to smile mischievously, making me wonder what he was going to say, “Or should I say, hero?”
I groaned out loud, hitting him in the chest with one hand, and shaking my head. It made him laugh, making his chest vibrate. I could almost feel the vibrations with how close we were. “Shut up,”
He was still chuckling a bit as if he were still thinking about it. Suddenly he stopped, and looked me right in the eyes. “Really though, that was really hot with how you fought everyone out of your way for me.”
I felt my face go warm and I tried to not to smile too much. “Thank you,” I said, straightening up a bit and raising my chin up at him, “But like hell that I fought everyone away.” 
He gasped, nudging me with his arms “Heyy, you did!” he said with a fake offense, frowning his eyebrows, “You were basically performing CPR on me with the way you acted!”
I laughed, making me lean into him a little bit and hide in his shoulder. When I brought myself back in front of him, I raised my eyebrows at him, “You would like me to give you a mouth to mouth performance, wouldn’t you?” 
My heart skipped a bit when he got all serious and looked me straight in the eye. “I would,” 
Our eye contact was intense, I could feel it in my stomach. He was so close to me, I could feel his breath on my face. I was almost certain that he could feel my heartbeat against his chest. We weren’t even touching completely, but it was beating so hard that I wouldn’t doubt it. I looked at his green eyes, to his plump and pink lips. They were a nice shape, and I felt the urge to just kiss them. I didn’t though, maybe he did this with every other girl he tried to get in his bed. 
I was proven right when he took my hand, “Come with me,” 
I tried to act confused, furrowing my eyebrows, “Where to?” 
He didn’t respond, just tugged on my hand and began leading the way. People weren’t even looking at us, they were dancing or drinking and talking. And even though I liked doing those things at parties, this thing that I thought Harry was planning to do with me, seemed much more fun. 
He made his way towards the door to go upstairs, avoiding bumping in with people or getting splashed by someone’s drink. Once we were on the way up he let go of my hand so we could walk better. There were only one or two people upstairs, making out with each other or searching for someone. Two doors were open out of the four, and Harry went into a closed one with me. 
He revealed his bedroom to me, which was completely dark apart from the moon that lit up the room a little bit. His room was mostly a dark blue, with a grey colour covering the one wall that wasn’t blue. His bed stood in the middle of the room with two bedside tables next to it. He had a desk and his sports bag that he had used still stood in his room, untouched. He didn’t have a desk, but a dresser was shoved against the wall. Once I did my onceover, I saw Harry standing in front of his bed, looking at me. 
He smiled, and began to walk over to me again, making me back into the door once he reached me completely. He stood closer than he did when we were in the kitchen, his pelvis against mine and his chest leaning against my body. “Hey,” He said again, even raspier this time. 
I looked up at him, examining his face, “Hey.”
He cleared his throat, and hesitated a bit, “Can I kiss you?”
I hesitated, “One thing.”
He raised his eyebrows, “Tell me you don’t fuck girls every week, otherwise I won’t be able to handle this.”
He took a step back, frowning, “Who told you that?”
Looking up at him, I felt myself growing more nervous, “Just hear that about you.”
He looked up at the ceiling, then back at me. “I promise you Mattie. I didn’t bring you here or invite you just to fuck you. I’d happily talk with you all night. You seem fun.”
I smiled, “And,” he continued, “my roommates are the ones who get laid every party. I do have sex yeah, but I promise you, I haven’t had sex since the first week of this semester.”
With the sincerity in his eyes, I believed him, “Okay, you can kiss me now.”
“Only if you want to.”
I looked into his eyes, “I really do.”
With one nod and another reassuring glance he was in the clear and we were done with being slow. He smacked his lips against mine, moving his arms from against the door to my body. Roaming his hand around my hips to my ass as he hungrily kissed me. I kissed him back, recuperating his movements. He squeezed my ass, making me gasp a little bit, giving him access to use his tongue in the kiss as well. I moved my arms from his shoulders to his neck, pushing him closer to me with my fingertips in his hair. Our tongues were wet and desperate, making the kiss hot and heavy. Once he had enough of just making out, he grabbed me by my thighs and lifted me up, turning me around towards the bed. 
I fell backwards onto his soft mattress, with Harry on top of me. My legs were around him in an instant, crossing my feet on his back. I still had my sneakers on and all my clothes, but not for long. Harry’s hand went from my ass to the hem of my shirt. I lifted my back for him, pausing in the kiss, to let him take my top off in one swift movement, leaving me in my bra. I didn’t wear my sexiest bra, but he didn’t seem to mind. His mouth went from the sweet spots on my neck towards my cleavage, leaving wet kisses on my body. He was already working on getting my bra off, pushing the straps off my shoulders. I sat upright for him, making him readjust his position to get closer to me. He was struggling with the clasp, so I unclasped my bra for him and threw it on the ground. He didn’t waste any time cupping my breasts, feeling them and leaning in my neck to leave some more spots, but I wasn’t having it. I pushed him away on his chest, making him stand on the ground again. He looked at me in confusion for a moment, until I stood up and pushed him on the bed. I bent my knees so I could reach his t-shirt, and he got the idea. Moving his arms up to let me take his shirt off, he gladly let me do it. 
His chest was revealed to me, just like mine was to him. This wasn’t enough, though. I crouched on my knees completely so I was level with his belly button, and began to unbutton his jeans. His bulge was evident in the tight material, so when I moved the zipper down I cupped him over his jeans and pants, making him groan in response. 
“Fuck, Mattie.” 
I just smiled at him, moving to tug at his jeans. He got the hint and thrust his hips up, so I could take his jeans off. Once they were off, he was just left in his boxers. I moved a little closer to him, so I was level with his bulge, making me look up at him with wide eyes. “Impressive,” I smirked. 
He wasn’t having it, and took his boxers off immediately, revealing his dick to me that sprung to his stomach. He must be proper into it, because I had never had a man be this turned on from just kissing. He threw his boxers onto the pile we had already made, and leaned on his arms so he could look at me properly. I took him in my hands, gliding my thumb over his tip. I looked at him for his consent, and he nodded at me eagerly. That was all I needed before I licked him on the tip. He responded loudly, groaning and moaning through the room. I never knew he was so loud in the bedroom. 
I licked him from his balls to the tip, and let him slip in my mouth to take all of him. He moved his hand in my hair, not pushing me, but finally having something he could do with his hands. 
I started bobbing my head up and down, all the while looking at him how he responded to me. His eyes were closed and his pink lips were voluminous and opened just slightly. 
I enjoyed giving blowjobs, especially if it was someone as responsive as Harry. He was groaning and moaning for me, letting me know how much he enjoyed it. “A-ah,” He cried once I hit him in the back of my throat. “Fuck,”
Kissing his tip, feeling his balls and sliding my tongue over his dick was making me wet as well. He still had one hand in my hair, the other going from my arms that were drawn over his upper thighs. My naked boobs rested on his naked legs, and my still clothed butt was stuck in the air. 
He slid his hand over my arm and went to my back, leaning over my head that was still bobbing over his cock. Once he could reach the hem of my skirt, he started moving the zipper. At least, trying to. 
I stopped sucking him off and let my mouth pop when his dick was out of my mouth, making him moan in annoyance. I quickly took my skirt and panties off and went back on my knees in front of him, when he was the one that stopped me this time. He grabbed my arms and basically threw me on the bed, covering my body immediately. Fuck, he was good. 
He started kissing me again, while I searched for his dick and began giving him a handjob. He cupped my breasts and squeezed them. I started leading his dick towards my entrance, giving him a hint of what I wanted. He backed away to look at me with wide eyes, paused for a bit and went to his dresser to get a condom. I watched him as he slid it on, and grabbed his shoulders as he started to position himself in front of me. Before he did, he looked at me once more. I nodded in approval, and he slid himself in me slowly. I could feel him filling me up immediately, making me throw my head back in bliss. “Fuck, Harry..”
“You like my dick, don’t you?” He said as he began thrusting into me. 
I could only nod in response, gasping as he looked at me, “Tell me,” he said as he thrusted into me hard once, “Tell me how you feel.”
His trust were getting harder with each second I wasn’t responding, because I could only moan in pleasure, “Fuck Harry,” I moaned, “I feel so good..”
He reacted with his hips. Thrusting into me rapidly, making my breasts go up and down and the bed creak against the wall. “I know, baby, I know.” 
“Holy shit, I do.” 
He started to kiss my neck, hungrily going for it as my legs crossed at his back once again. I was certain that the guests that were still here could hear us, but I didn’t give a shit. I wanted to everyone to know that he was fucking me, and not some other girl. 
“You’re so good baby, I knew it,” 
I started to roam his back with my arms, feeling his muscles move each time he thrusted. His dick was so long and hard that he hit the right spots inside of me each time. I could feel my head getting a little lighter, and my stomach filled with warmth. “I’m gonna cum, Harry, please,”
“Begging for it, see?” He cockily stated once he moved to look at me again, he even had a smirk on his face when he was fucking me. “Knew you would do me good,”
“Mhh, Harry, almost there,” 
“Me too, baby, me too.” 
He thrusted a couple more times before I could really feel it, my pleasure taking over me completely. I came hard, my legs trembling around him and my head thrown back. My orgasm made me cry out loud, and he was still going at it. 
He was coming too, I knew it. His thrust became harder before they slowed down, squeezing his eyes shut in pleasure. He groaned loudly when he came, looking beautiful while he did. His cheeks had gone slightly pink, making his lips stand out even more, and his hair was all dishevelled and damp with sweat. Once I felt that he filled the condom inside of me, he opened up his eyes and slid out of me. 
We both smiled at each other and started catching our breaths from out intensive activities, “Fuck, Mattie.” He laughed, pulling out of me completely and leaned on his arms to stand up. Once he cleaned up the condom, throwing it in the bin, he started walking back to the bed. He plopped on it, almost on top of me. “That was good.” 
I nodded in response, “Almost as good as Louis’ goals.” I smirked, hoping to get a reaction out of him with bullshit. 
He laughed, letting his head fall on the pillow, “Shut up.”
There we lay, both naked over the covers with our chest moving as we breathed, still hearing the thumping music from downstairs where the party was still going in full swing. 
“I told you,” He started, looking at me playfully, “I would get you wet later.” 
I groaned, but couldn’t help to let a laugh escape. I grabbed my pillow from underneath my head, saw how he was smiling to himself, and smacked him in the head with it. 
Payback, my arse.
------------------
Thank you for reading!! If you want more, let me know. This was my first real one shot and I’m working on other stuff as well. xxxxxxx
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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years ago
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Insecure
Based Off Of This Ask 
And This One Too
A/N: I had a MASSIVE brain fart once I finally started writing so i hope this one doesn’t suck...enjoy🙃
Like every other person in this world, Harry too had his moments of heightened insecurity. Even though he absolutely loved having a bit of an age gap in between the two of you, being with a younger woman tended to bring light to some of the inevitable aspects of getting older. He was as far as he could possibly be with the majority of the those things, but the main one that stuck out to Harry the most though was his graying hair. It started off with a couple of sporadic hairs throughout the thick and luscious patch of curls that covered his entire head. But after a while, and a short one at that, the gray began to invade his entire head. Now his hair was still the same in terms of being thick curly and luscious, it just changed a different color. At least, that’s the way you looked at it. Harry on the other hand took this as him getting so old that he was unattractive and ultimately undatable to you. Which was not the case at all. He considered having chocolate brown curls as an indicator of youth and now that he no longer had it, Harry tended to get a bit downhearted and insecure when he took a look into the mirror just to be met with a head of gray hair. 
But luckily for him, he had the best cheerleader in the entire world. You. 
Now you weren’t doing cartwheels and backflips. But you were spreading your legs for him at any given moment. When you first saw Harry’s gray hair, you were floored. You were literally trying to figure out how someone managed to get hotter as the got older. To you, he was the epitome of aging like fine wine. The dark gray with the perfectly placed patches of lighter more silver hair fit him perfectly. You couldn’t believe how good he looked. And you made sure to tell him that. Even before you were able to fully see that he was a bit insecure about the new hair color, you were constantly doting on him and gushing over how good he looked. You were all over him to say the least. He looked so good that you went as far as to consider skipping a little bit ahead to the baby making so that he could be a dilf. For you, the gray hair was magical. Him being older, mature, hot, and a great person was good enough for you, you’d already gotten your icing on the cake. But the gray was like an extra layer of icing plus sprinkles. And even if you weren’t an excessive fan of the color like you were, you loved Harry. Harry meant everything to you. So brown hair or not, he was still the man you fell in love with and will continue falling deeper and deeper in love with. But despite your continued, love and arousal filled efforts, Harry’s insecurity still lingered inside of him and tended to pop up from time to time. 
And today just so happened to be one of those days. 
After a mutual showering of cuddles, kisses, and amazing morning sex of course, it was time to get up. And per usual, Harry was the first one to pull back the covers and actually embrace the day ahead of him while you nuzzled yourself down into the covers and waited for him to drag you out of the bed. It was you guys’ morning routine at this point. Normally after about a couple minuets of using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, Harry’d come back into the bedroom to pull you out of bed so that you too could get started on the day. But those couple minuets ran a much longer this morning, and after a while you started to get concerned at the complete silence that was now consuming both rooms. So despite the fact that you were perfectly comfortable with being burrowed under the covers with Harry’s warm cum deep inside your tummy, you  pull yourself out of the bed and you waddle over and into the bathroom to check in on Harry.
“What’s wrong baby?” You ask him softly once fully in the bathroom. You could see him staring intently at the mirror with a bit of a downcast look on his face. When he doesnt’ reply, you simply move behind him and wrap your arms around his midsection, holding his larger body in your arms. 
“Think I might dye it.” Harry huffs, finally speaking to you about what’s made him so glum.
“You’re gonna what?!” You were completely shocked by this newfound information. And even though you were all for doing what makes you happy, you couldn’t let Harry do this. Without saying another word to him, you unwrap yourself from him and you move around so that you’re in front. You then push yourself in-between him and the counter before hoisting yourself up to be right in his face. “Now why on earth would you ever think about doing that baby?” You coo, bringing your hands up to cup his cheeks.
“Just don’t want t’look old. Plus I don’t want anything to be weird for you.” He replies, trying to articulate why exactly he wants to dye his gray locks. 
“Harry, you do not look old. And nothing is weird for me. If you think that people consider you, my delicious boyfriend, to be old and decrepit…you’re sadly mistaken!” You firmly reassure him. It was time for you to assume your role as cheerleader and become Harry’s “hypewoman” so that he can regain that confidence and own every last strand of gray hair on his head.
“S’just-“ 
“No, you listen me. You are the hottest, sexiest, most delicious man I’ve ever laid eyes on. And the gray hair intensifies that by a million.” You begin, passionately laying out all the facts for him to understand.
“Really?” He whispers doubtfully, bringing his hands up to place his hands over yours.
“Yes! You are the sexiest. Like you’re older than me, and so mature while still being incredibly sexy. It makes me so wet and needy for you.” You sigh dreamily, lifting your legs up and around his legs to tug him closer between your spread legs. “Just looking at you right now makes my mouth and pussy water baby.” You continue on. Right now, Harry was getting a major ego and confidence boost from you. He knew that you felt like this, but hearing you say it right now in this moment was hitting him on a completely different level. Not only was he starting to feel better, he was also starting to get aroused from your words. 
“Really baby? Didn’t know you liked it this much.” He replies, removing his hands from yours and bringing them down to your thighs so that he can pull you closer to the edge. 
“You’re so hot daddy.” You whisper finally, before pulling his face down so that you could smear your lips against his. And once you do, Harry’s mind is instantly in a million pieces. Like he was starting to feel a little buzz circulating through his body as you spoke. But now that he was feeling you on him, the was not only buzzing, he was on fire. As you kiss, Harry submits to  you and allows for you to pull the reigns on this one. You were on a mission to make him feel hot and confident, so if you needed to be kinda sorta aggressive and strong, so be it. Your hands had made their way up and into his hair, your legs were wrapped around him, and his hands were moving back and forth between your hips and thighs; Everything was perfect. After giving him a good makeout for a couple more minuets, you decide to throw in one last thing that would bring him back up to his normal and pretty confident self. 
“And I think that you’re especially hot when you’re between my legs eating my pussy. I love pulling on these gray curls.” You hum against his lips. 
Right now, Harry felt like he could fly. His confidence was back and he was ready to put his sexiness to use and be especially hot like you said. And the way to do that is to bury his head between your thighs and get a taste of your undoubtedly delicious cunt. When he hears the words leave your mouth, Harry wastes no time springing into action. He pulls you closer to the edge and hoists you up into his arms before making a dash back into the bedroom. Since you were clinging onto him, as he crawled back onto the bed you were right below him still moaning against his lips as the you both moved in Harry with each other. He then lifts himself up a bit from you, spreading your legs apart and breaking the kiss. 
“Now are you back to being the cocky little shit that I know and love?” You ask playfully, looking up to him in hopes of getting a yes answer.
“Mhm.” Harry mumbles through a chuckle. 
“And are you going to eat my pussy now because I feel like we’re on that track?” You question further. 
“Mhm.” Harry mumbles again in response, slowly inching his way lower and lower towards the area between your legs. 
“Yay.” You sigh happily, dropping your head down against the bed to relax and just enjoy  the ride. 
Once Harry is fully down between your legs, he only spends a second admiring your messy pussy before diving in. His mouth is open wide as he covers most of your sticky mound and begins to lap his tongue up and down your folds. And as he did this, he’d push his tongue in so that he could really go in and fully lick into you. He also swirled and sucked on the most sensitive parts of your cunt. He knows your body inside and out so when it came to really pushing his tongue up down and inside your pussy, you had no doubts that Harry was going to really give it to you. As he does, your hands are stationed in his hair as he pleasures you. You manage keep a bit of a tight grip on him, trying your hardest to keep him as close as possible to you. You just wanted his mouth and hands all over you and you never wanted it to end. 
While you were moaning your little heart out and calling out to daddy from how good it felt, Harry couldn’t have been better. He was throughly enjoying having his mouth on your cum filled pussy. He could taste a pleasant and delicious mixture of the two of you. It was so good that you could feel him sucking on your pussy to pull every last drop out, and he instructed you to push it out. He even moaned loudly against you, causing the vibrations to go right through your sensitive clit.
“Fuck daddy! Feel so good!” You out loudly to him. To get even deeper, Harry uses his hands that were scratching at and pinching your thighs to pull your cunt apart. This way, he was able to really eat you and push you to your release even quicker.  When you feel his tongue prodding at your entrance you almost lose it. You’re squirming against the bed as he pushes his tongue against your hole. 
“Like it when daddy eats this pretty cunt babydoll?” Harry asks, lifting his mouth up from you. 
“So much daddy!” You whimper, feeling one of his fingers vigorously circling your clit.
“Daddy loves eating your precious cunt too.” He replies matter of factory before spitting right down onto you and moving to lick into you again. 
As he continues on, you can feel your release getting closer and closer. Your stomach is tight and warm, and you can feel a bit of pressure down there. Your hands get even tighter in Harry’s hair as your release gets even closer. 
“M’gonna cum daddy!” You whine out to him. When you say this, you let him know to amp it up a bit. So he moves his mouth up so suck on your swollen little clit, and pushes two fingers into you. He then begins to quickly fuck them in and out of you. As he moves them, Harry also curls them up into you so that he’s hitting your sweet spot as much as possible since he’s using his fingers this time. As his sucks on your clit get harder and his fingers become faster, your release is fast approaching and you can feel yourself beginning to slip right off the edge. “Fuck!” You cry out to him, not being able to hold it any longer and slipping right over into your release. When you feel your orgasm wash over your entire being, your body immediately relaxes and practically melts into the bed. It feels so good. And because you were with an older experienced man, you were able to feel this and more on a very regular basis. Once you’ve come down from your high a little and you’ve caught your breath, you turn your attention to Harry to do one final check in. 
“Now are you feeling better baby?” You ask, moving you hand to the side of his face. 
“Yeah, thanks baby. I love you.” Harry replies sweetly, keeping his head on your thigh and giving the other a squeeze. 
“I love you too babe.” You reply happily.
“Get ready for a round 3 in the shower.” Harry announces, already getting geared for another pleasure filled round. 
Even though Harry was the older one, you were the one getting worn out.
Masterlist
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all-my-love-for-harry · 4 years ago
Text
Sing me my song.
summary: Harry’s feeling insecure after he sees his girlfriend interact with her ex.
word count: 2.7k
warnings: fluff with some angst, happy ending tho. 
a/n: this was requested by @hazzalightsupmyworld, hope you like it! Let me know what you think :) 
Find the rest of my masterlist here.
*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *:・゚✧ ✧゚・:
Relationship wise, Y/N has never been one with luck. She has never had the ability to jump from one relationship to other, it just wasn’t who she was. Instead, she spent several years being in love with the same person.
Ariana and Y/N met after they shared a studio session back in 2015. They wrote some songs together for Ariana’s upcoming album at that time. It took them two months and several cups of coffee to fall in love. Their relationship was mostly private, as neither of them wanted curious eyes all over their every move. Of course the media eventually caught up the two women weren’t just friends, but were romantically involved and after Ariana’s album dropped, it looked pretty serious.
However timing just wasn’t on their side, and for different reasons, they ended up going separate ways. Although that didn’t stop them from remaining friends, Y/N was still in love with her ex-girlfriend. She stayed there through tough times and not even once not dropped everything if Ariana called.
It was some time after their breakup when they found their way back to each other. They thought it was only fair to give it another shot, but it just didn’t work out. They both wanted different things and together came to the conclusion they were better off as friends, so Y/N and Ariana called it quits before they hurt the other bad enough they wouldn’t be able to be friends in the future.
For a lot of time, Y/N thought she wouldn’t be able to fall in love again, or at least have a somehow serious relationship with someone else. It took her time, but eventually she got there. With every day that passed, it got easier to move on.
And that’s when she met Harry.
A kind, shy man who has shown her a completely different side of the world, one that she was completely oblivious of before he came into her life. Although Harry was sure since the beginning about his feelings for her, it took Y/N a little while to open up to him and allow him to take her on a date. Sure, they hung out and stuff, but it was always with other people around in a friendly environment. Now there was nothing wrong with that, but Harry wanted more.
Almost a year after they first met, Harry and Y/N finally started dating. Things were great between the two of them. They both felt like there was something very… real in what they had. Quite frankly, they had never felt like this before. It truly felt like they were building a life together that could easily become a forever thing, and even though for some people it could be scary, for them it wasn’t. It felt good to have something stable after a long time of trying to find something that felt completely real and honest.
It wasn’t until Y/N felt like she was 100% over Ariana that they started talking again. Of course, they had missed each other but they both agreed it wouldn’t be so healthy to try to move on without putting some sort of distance between them. For them, it was so easy to become close friends again. It was like the old times, just with a few boundaries they had agreed on.
Last time Y/N saw her, was on Ariana’s first show of her tour. She had gone to support her, however she did not join her on tour like last time. And it was fine, honestly. Y/N felt like her life was complete now that she had her boyfriend and her best friend in it.
Now Y/N found herself spending more time in London with Harry than anywhere else in the world. And it was slowly starting to become her second home.
Around August, after taking a shower before getting ready to go out with Harry, Y/N received a text. It was from Ariana, she was inviting her to her next concert in London that was in a few days. Y/N bit her lip, thinking what it was best to do. Honestly? She wanted to go. It would be really nice to go see her perform after a few months of not seeing each other, and she could always bring Harry so he’d have a good time too.
“Babe, are you ready? Reservation’s at seven o’clock.” Harry came out of their walk-in closet with his clothes on his hands.
“Yeah, one second.” Y/N sent Ariana a quick text saying she’d ask Harry before looking up at him. “Hey, do you want to go to a concert this weekend?”
“Sure, who are we seeing?”
“Ariana.”
Now, Harry knew their story and how big of a roll Ariana was on his girlfriend’s life, and although it made him insecure at times (not that he’d ever say a word to her about it), he has come to accept that. Also, it wasn’t like Ariana was a stranger to him. They were also friends, just never been really close.
“I mean, I’m down. It’ll be fun if we go.” He shrugged, deciding it shouldn’t have to be a big deal.
“Awesome. I’ll tell her we’re going.” She smiled.
Inside of his head, Harry tried to convince himself they’d have a good time, and everything was going to be fine, although he wasn’t feeling so confident at the moment.
//
Saturday rolled in and all Y/N could talk about was the concert. She planned an outfit along with hair and makeup that with go along with her clothes. She was excited but also a little nervous. They’d most likely go backstage after the show, and it would be the first time the three of them would be together in the same room.
Harry has called a car that would drive them to the O2 Arena. Unfortunately, they ran a little late due traffic so when they arrived, they had to take her seats in the VIP box immediately because the show was about to start. Harry wrapped an arm around Y/N’s shoulder as they stood there waiting. Now, normally he wouldn’t be anywhere touchy with her if they were in public, but he was feeling particularly clingy today so he didn’t care if tomorrow there would be a billion of pictures of the two of them all over the internet.
The lights when out and the music started, making the twenty thousand people in the arena erupt in screams.
Aside from the two of them, there were other people in the VIP box. A couple of Ariana’s friends Y/N knew and some celebrities.
So far they were having a good time. Harry let loose a little and started dancing with Y/N too. He screamed the lyrics he knew and jumped around just like everyone else. After the fourth song passed, the energy lowered a little as a slower song came into the set list.
Y/N swallowed hard when she recognized the melody. R.E.M. was a song Ariana told her a long ago was written about Y/N a little before they broke up for the second time. In complete honesty, she loved the song. She loved it when Ariana showed it to her that night they stayed up until 2am just talking, long before it was out to the world, and she loved it now that she was hearing it along with twenty thousand people.
It brought a lot of memories back and the song that followed did not help.
Harry noticed her sudden change of behavior but chose to not point it out. Instead, he gave her hand a squeeze that quickly snapped her back to reality. She looked up at him and smiled, leaning into him a little.
Songs like Moonlight, Sometimes or Thinking Bout You, Y/N knew weren’t on the original set list of the concert. They were old songs Ariana didn’t really sing anymore, mainly because they were about her, and she was singing them now.
It only made her more nervous to step into backstage after the concert. And it wasn’t about any lingering feelings, truly. It just was kind of a lot to take in. She was in love with the woman for a long time, for the love of God.
One song before the concert ended, they decided to head backstage to avoid the crowd afterwards. Someone from the security team leaded the way to them and some other people who had the same idea and they waited patiently for the show to end.
“Did you have a good time?” She asked him.
“I did, haven’t danced like that in quite some time.”
“Me too.”
The couple held hands and stayed a little behind. There were people everywhere, both from the staff and friends that were hanging around. They heard Ariana say her goodbyes to the public before she ran off the stage. People rounded her to congratulate her for the show, she went around giving hugs to everybody until her eyes landed in Y/N.
Both girls squealed and crashed into a hug. “You’re here!”
“I promised I’d come, Ari.” Y/N said sweetly.
“I’m so happy you did. I changed the set list after you texted me.” Ariana gave her a dimpled smile, looking directly at her eyes.
“So I noticed.”
Harry caught awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with himself. Ariana and Y/N broke the eye contact as the first one went and hugged Harry. “Thank you for coming, Har.”
“Thank you for the invitation. We had a great time.” He didn’t really mean to, but subconsciously he emphasized the we.
“I’m happy you did.” She said. “I was thinking we could have dinner afterwards. Courtney’s also here somewhere.”
“Absolutely.” Y/N was quick to answer.
“Great, let me take a shower and grab my shit before we go.” Ariana walked away towards her dressing room.
“Do we have to go?” Harry almost whined.
“C’mon, it would be fun. Please?” She gave him those damn puppy eyes she knew he couldn’t resist. So he sighed and nodded, making her squeal. Y/N hugged him before she gave him a quick peck on the lips. “We won’t stay so long, I promise.”
Although he agreed on going, Harry kept quiet for most part of the dinner. Ariana and Y/N sat in front of the other so they were talking the whole time, giggling about things Harry did not understand as they were inside jokes they had. He did not feel comfortable at all by the end of the night, and it didn’t help the fact that Y/N was not acknowledging him.
“You need a ride home?” Ariana asked after dinner was paid and everyone was starting to get up from their seats.
Y/N was about to speak but Harry cut her off. “I have called a car, thank you though.” He didn’t want to sound rude, but he didn’t think he could stand a whole car ride with them probably seating next to each other giggling and whispering things.
“Oh, alright.” Ariana answered slowly. “I’ll be in London until next week, maybe we can meet up?” She said to Y/N.
“Totally, I’ll text you.”
The pair hugged tightly. Ariana waved at Harry a little awkwardly as she has already sensed his jealousy building up.
“Have you really called a car?” Y/N asked when it was only the two of them.
“Are you talking to me now?” He couldn’t help but say. He has in fact called a car, he did it the second they asked for the check. Y/N sighed, not really wanting to start anything while they were still in public.
Not long after that, a black range rover pulled up and they walked towards it to get in. This time, Y/N didn’t seat in the middle to be close to Harry. Instead, each of them sat by each end of the seat. The ride back to the house was quiet, none of them had really nothing to say to the other, but they were also gathering their thoughts because they knew what was going to go down once they entered the house.
The both of them thanked the driver before getting out of the car and into the house. Y/N took off her shoes and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, Harry following her steps.
“Are you going to tell me what is wrong?” She asked.
“I don’t know. Is there anything wrong?”
“Oh, c’mon. Don’t be like that.” She crossed her arms. “There’s something bothering you and I want to know what it is. Did you not have a good time?”
“I was until you started flirting with your bloody ex.” He finally said.
“Flirting? Harry, I was not flirting with her.”
“Yes, you were. And she was flirting with you too!” He accused. “Don’t think I didn’t notice how she was looking at you!”
“According to you, how was she looking at me?”
“Like she was still in love with you! Didn’t you see? She basically serenaded you back in the concert and had no problem admitting it. ‘I included these songs only because you told me you were coming’” He tried to copy her voice. “For fuck’s sake.”
“Well, I can exactly control what songs she includes in her show!”
“Oh, but you clearly enjoyed it, didn’t you? Must have felt good to have all her attention.”
“Now you’re being mean.” She said.
“No, I’m being honest. And I’m sorry if it makes me mad when your ex is all over you!”
“She was-”
“And you can’t even see it. Can’t you see how fucking insecure it makes me feel whenever you talk so highly of her? How am I supposed to top what you had with her?”
Y/N swallowed hard. “It is not a competition, you know? I don’t spend all our time together comparing what we have with what I had with her.”
“For you it might not be. But I do spend a lot of time worrying about you waking up one day and deciding you don’t love me as much as you love her. After all, you have found your way back to each other once, what assures me it won’t happen again?”
“It won’t.” She stated.
“You don’t know that.” He shakes his head. “What if one day you realize you can always go back to her? You’d leave me in a heartbeat.”
“How can you have such little trust in me? I love you, Harry.” Y/N almost cried out. “When my heart was broken, you were the only one there who helped me glue it back together. You. I would have never agreed on going on a date with you if I wasn’t over her.” She paused. “After I met you, I knew I had to get my shit back together so this,” She motioned the space between them. “would work. Because I wanted it to work. You have given me so much,” Her voice broke. “I don’t think I would ever stop loving you.”
“Baby-”
“And I’m sorry if I today I made you doubt that. It wasn’t my intention at all. I was just… I was excited, you know? You have to understand that while I dated Ariana in the past, I’m not in love with her anymore. Do I love her? Yes, I do. But it isn’t the kind of love I have for you, H. What I had with her had an expiration date, and I knew it. But I also know that I want to be with you forever. You’re my forever, not her.”
Harry chocked a laugh, allowing one tear to roll down his left eye. “You’re my forever too, baby.”
“I’m sorry.” She said again before wrapping her arms around his torso. “I love you so, so much. Please believe me.”
“I believe you, I do.” He mumbled before kissing the top of her head, hugging her back. “I’m sorry for being so insecure.”
“I know it isn’t exactly normal to be close with your ex, and i’m still working on setting boundaries.”
“I appreciate that.”
They both sighed happily, enjoying being in each other’s arms. “Do you get as excited as you were today when you listen to the songs I wrote for you?” He asked quietly after a while.
“Just as excited, if not more. I love it when you sing me my song.”
“The one about us dancing in the kitchen or the one about me eating your pu-”
“Way to ruin the moment, Styles.”
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lucysometimeswrites · 3 years ago
Text
SUBMISSION: Prompt 1,20,29 from the Disney song list with Harry Holland ( I’m interested to see how this goes)
DUDE i am so sorry this took SOOOOO long but i hadn't had time for it and i didn't wanna just give you something rushed so anyway i hope you like it!
1. Please don’t shut me out again, please don’t slam the door.
20. Go on and kiss the girl.
29. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly
---------------------------------------------
“God, that’s disgusting”, you grimaced at the newly-formed couple who was making out in the living room. The Holland’s living room, to be precise. Harry and you had been friends for a while, close enough to be invited to get-togethers and random drinking evenings. This was one of those evenings, where everyone wanted to unwind and have a good laugh to inaugurate the weekend, and Harry offered the perfect way to do that.
I mean, free booze, the guy you liked, and good music? How could you say no?
You and Harry had hit it off quite quickly after first meeting a few years ago, through mutual friends. You had a lot of similar interests, same sort of humour, and even in the things you thought differently on, you learned to like for the other. He was an absolute dream. Everyone saw it, too. They secretly hoped you’d get together soon, and already assumed something happened between the two of you but, alas, here you were. Angry at life and that innocent couple in the living room because of the stupid, lovey-dovey thoughts that just wouldn’t go away.
“Why the long face?” Harry asked with a chuckle as he entered the kitchen, stopping beside you and turning to look where your angry stare was headed.
You nodded towards the living room, and answered, “Them. Like, can you not do it in front of my face, please?”
“But you’re all the way here in the kitchen?” he said, confused.
“Shut up” you ended, giving a big swig of your cup. A silence made itself at home between you too, not necessarily uncomfortable as you would expect, but a little suffocating. You became self-conscious about every move you made, hating how the curly-headed boy could turn you into a mess with just his presence.
“I think it’s cute” he shrugged, breaking the silence.
“They’re barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly. Ha, what a joke” you challenged.
The quiet settled again and you didn’t notice, but Harry side-eyed you while a million thought ran through his mind. He remembered that one night where you found yourselves in a similar situation. Both drunk off your asses and looking at the world through a pink lens, you shared an intimate kiss just weeks after meeting each other. He also remembered how, after trying to talk about it with you, you shut him out and didn’t speak to him for an entire two weeks. It was after promising he’d never bring it up again that you ended the silent treatment, much to his delight.
As the night went on, you kept going into the kitchen for more drink refills, feeling a little tipsy. The people, getting rowdier and nastier, went on to find the darkest spots in the house for their shenanigans, and you were so distracted that you didn’t even realize when you were dragged to a circle that formed in the living room. The announcement that the classic “Spin The Bottle” game was about to be played was made and yup, cue the eye roll.
A bunch of rounds went by with no one you actually cared to remember the name of getting their turn, until the guy who looked a little to drunk to be managing the game yelled,
“Harry! My boy! Your turn to snog one of these lucky ladies here tonight” he motioned to the girls sitting around the circle, who all bit their lips or looked down in embarrassment.
“Snog? Shut up, mate,” the red-head answered and confidently spun the bottle.
You held your breath and did not tear your eyes from it, the stupid thing seeming to spin for ages until it slowly came to a stop.
Pointing at you.
Of course it’s me, you thought as you closed your eyes, damning every single power in the universe. When you opened them, Harry was intently staring at you, as if studying any movement you might make and trying to figure out what was going through your head. In response, you got on your knees and lightly slapped you hands on your thighs, showing you were ready. He didn’t move an inch, still analyzing your face. Harry knew this was thin ice he was treading on—one wrong move and everything would go to shit. He was dying to press his lips on yours, even if it was just a game, but the memories from a few weeks back flooded his mind and—
“C’mon mate! Go on and kiss the girl!” the guy from earlier encouraged.
Well, why the fuck not?, you both thought at the same time.
Harry crawled to you and you met him halfway, lips clashing with force and desire. His hand made its way to cradle your cheek and part of your neck, guiding the kiss and making you melt into a puddle instantly. Your mouth opened a little more, letting him kiss you deeper and hungrier like no one has ever before. It was absolutely everything you had ever wanted.
And it was everything you couldn’t have.
Parting your lips with your hands on his chest, you felt tears well up in your eyes, and whispered for only you and him to hear,
“This is why the fuck not”
You hurriedly got up as everyone cheered and hooted after the heated show they saw, quickly glancing at Harry but rushing towards the upstairs bathroom.
“Please! Y/N, wait!
Hearing a faint call of your name and footsteps catching up to you, you almost ran for the room you deemed safe. Before going in, however, Harry’s voice made you stop in your tracks.
“Please, please. Please don’t shut me out again, please don’t slam the door”, he begged.
You felt his presence a few feet behind you, the dark hallway only aiding in the tense atmosphere that surrounded you. Not daring to move an inch, the only thing you could do was stare ahead at the shower curtain, your mind going a thousand miles a minute on how anything that happened in the next few moments could make or break you.
A pair of warm, shaky hands found their place on your shoulders, making you tense and then relax as they carefully and lovingly caressed their way down your arms. You felt the ghost of his chest against your back, his breath fanning on your neck and you closed your eyes, savouring the moment but dreading having to face him and look him in the eye. Gently, he grabbed your elbows and turned you to him, still very close to you.
In all honesty, Harry did not have a plan. He ran after you because there was no way he was letting you get away once more, but now that he caught up to you and had you so close to him, he had no clue what to do. His mind had gone blank, the only thing filling it was the image of you. You, whom he had shared so many memories with. You, with the beautiful laugh and crinkly eyes that brought butterflies to his chest every time. You, who never failed to bring happiness into his life, even if you weren’t on the best terms. You, whom he loved so much.
Leaning his forehead against yours, he quietly pleaded one more time, “Please don’t run away from me again”.
“I’m not,” you answered with the same tone, eyes still very much closed.
“You were going to, though”
“I’m sorry”
“Why?” he furrowed his brows.
“For trying to run away”, you answered swiftly to each question, surprisingly. As if all your walls had been brought down just by his simple, loving touch.
“No, why do you keep running away?”
Not so swift anymore, huh?
You stayed silent, not knowing how to answer his question without sounding like a little girl scared of the dark.
“Y/N” he said again, waiting for your answer. His hands moved from your arms to your hands, stopping both pairs from shaking and lightly intertwining your fingers.
You knew you had to come clean. It wasn’t fair to him for you to not give him answers, and not fair to you to keep feeling this angst. So, still very quietly, you answered.
“I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m gonna get hurt if I let you in or that I may hurt you if you let me in. Or both. I care about you so much and I don’t want to ruin our relationship because what we have is great but I also really want to be with you and love you but then I’m also scared because of what I just sai—” your ramble being cut off by Harry’s chapped lips.
His hands held both sides of your face, making you feel secure in his embrace and the soft kiss radiating adoration. He poured everything he felt for you in it, only hoping you could feel it too and that it would bring you out of that fear that had you so trapped in yourself.
He broke the kiss, lightly running his thumb over your cheek and reassuring you immediately.
“With me? Darling, you don’t have to be scared with me. I promise you I feel the exact same way, I love you so much and the last thing I want or will do is hurt you, but I can’t let you get away anymore. I want to make you feel loved and make you feel happy and I want everyone to know you’re mine and that I’m yours. Please let me do that, Y/N. Let me love you the way you deserve to be and I promise you won’t—”
It was you who interrupted him this time. During his small speech, you felt safe enough to open your eyes and see him. You saw the honestly and frustration in his face, desperately wanting you to understand how he felt. It made you realize  that you would rather spend a few moments loving each other than the rest of your life watching him with someone else, not knowing what could have been.
“Okay,” you said after parting ways.
“Okay?” he asked you, eyes frantically scanning your features for any sign of doubt or humour.
“Yes. Yes, let’s do it!” you giggled, him mirroring your actions and pulling you into his chest for a tight hug. He buried his face in your hair and yours in his chest, feeling relief course through him at the idea of you being taken by none other than him. Just holding each other, you were about to share another kiss until a random voice interrupted you from behind,
“...can I use the bathroom now?”.
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hops-hunny · 4 years ago
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Temptation
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Pairing: Neville Longbottom x McGonagall!Reader
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 4k
Request: “Could you maybe do a Neville x reader where the reader is McGonagall's grandchild?”
Summary: Neville had never experienced temptation, till it walked by him in a pleated skirt.
Warnings: Suggestive thoughts???
A/N: I won’t even lie, this was very self indulgent. I didn’t mean to write this much but oh well! Also I noticed I read the prompt wrong and wrote this for fem reader so I apologize anon. I still hope you can find joy in this!
Temptation. Temptation was a word Neville knew well. He had heard it many upon many times. From his peers, and even some of his teachers. However, he never really understood what it felt like to experience it, to have it coursing through his very being. Well, that was until it came knocking on his door or, to put it more precisely, walking by him in a (y/h/h) robe and vanilla-lavender perfume. He didn’t expect it to have such a beautiful laugh and he certainly didn’t expect it to be McGonagall's granddaughter! No matter how many times he had heard it described to him and how many times he had heard the feeling be recited to him like one of those shit muggle pop songs, it still didn’t prepare him for the real experience itself.
Could she be anymore perfect? Anymore graceful, anymore well, tempting? She was the kind of beauty that he read about in books and the kind of beauty he saw when he looked at all the flowers that bloomed within the greenhouse. He watched, observing her beauty as she walked. His face flushed softly as he saw her eyes light up, head facing straight ahead and shoulders held high unaware of his eyes of adoration upon her. His gaze was then shifted to her hair. The way the light reflected off of the (h/c) strand made his heart race! Next was one of his favorite things, her smile. Her smile was enough to brighten anyone's day! Well...it most certainly brightened his that is. His eyes fixated on her legs, the soft sheen they held. ‘God they look smooth, like the softest of pillows, the smoothest of silks, the fluffiest, puffiest of clouds. I bet the-’ he was broken out of his thoughts as she came to a stop in front of her grandmother which made him a bit queasy to his stomach. If only McGonagall new about his thoughts...wait did she? She could be using legilimency on him this very moment and he’d have no clue. What if she was, what if she-
He jumped, squeaking softly as a hand came down hard on his shoulder causing his body to tense. And his gaze to shift to the source of the force relaxing when he saw it was Dean. 
“Hey Nev, what are you doing just standing here? Oh I see what it is!” He exclaimed smiling at his lanky friend, watching his eyes flicker back and forth between in front of him and back to himself. Neville gulped, tugging at his sleeves a bit as his shirt suddenly began to feel constraining.
“Y-you do?” he asked nervously. His throat began to feel smaller. The problem with Neville’s little…’temptation’ was that he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had feelings for people before. He had his fair share of crushes throughout the year. But she was different. See, he wasn’t the first one to notice how beautiful the girl was. Heavens no! Quite a few of his peers had noticed just how breathtaking (Y/n) was but once they saw the last name that was attached to her, that was more than enough to turn them the other way. However, the connection to her grandmother not only put up an invisible force field for suitors, but friends as well. He found himself feeling sorry for her often, he could only imagine how lonely she was. 
“Yeah, I do. You were waiting for me to find you so you could help me with my herbology homework! Man Nev, you’re such a good friend.” he said. Neville rolled his eyes noticing all of Dean’s missing coursework for herbology within his hands. As much as he loved his friend, he also couldn’t deny how unbelievably idiotic he was. Although he was disappointed in how irresponsible he was, he was also relieved he hadn’t noticed what had actually had him standing there lost in his thoughts. “Oh and I also saw you staring at McGonagall junior. I don’t blame you mate, she’s bloody fit. Have you seen her in that skirt she wears to Hogsmeade? It makes me just wanna-” Neville smacked his friend on the back again ignoring his groan of protest. He began to walk off leaving Dean confused. Neville noticed the lack of his friend's presence near him causing him to turn around.
“Do you want help with your herbology work or not?”
-----------
(Y/n) sat with Luna in the courtyard, watching as her friend picked at the wildflowers twisting them and molding them into a flower crown. She sighed once again as she continued to ramble onto her. “I don’t know Lu, he’s just so cute! I wouldn’t even know how to approach him. Besides, he probably wants someone from his own house and year, yknow?” She said as she glanced at her preoccupied friend. “Are you even listening to me?” she huffed frustratedly. Luna looked at her, rolling her eyes at her a bit.
“You’re only a year below us (Y/n), you talk about him as if he’s an old man! Besides, the whole different house thing would only matter to him if he was a Slytherin. Neville doesn’t care about little things like that.” she took the completed crown placing it on her friend’s head as she smiled at her. “Yknow, for someone at the top of your year you’re quite daft.” Luna said nonchalantly, causing her friend’s eye to twitch. One thing (Y/n) would never get quite used to is her friend’s ability to tell people the truth as if it were nothing. Luna squeezed the girl’s soft (s/c) hand before smiling at her. “Besides, you’re beautiful! If he doesn’t want you, I know there are plenty of guys who most certainly do!” (Y/n) felt herself get quite shy at her friend’s words, rubbing at the goosebumps that were forming on her arm. But, she was right. She couldn’t let her thoughts of if or if not a guy liked her get her down. 
“Hey (Y/n), have you ever, yknow, actually tried TALKING to the guy?” Ginny asked, smacking on the taffy she had been eating. The (e/c) eyed girl felt herself getting flustered once again.
“W-well, the short answer is no. Don’t look at me like that! I’ve TRIED. Every time I try something comes up! I’m either almost late to class, one of his friend’s comes up to him, or I have to do something for my Nan! It’s a lot harder trying to talk to someone when you don’t have any classes with them..” she said as she began to pout, reminded of her failed attempts to speak to the awkwardly charming boy. Ginny popped another taffy in her mouth, processing her friend's words before smirking a bit.
“Just leave it to me, I have the perfect plan! Don’t you worry a single little hair on that pretty head of yours.” she said, causing both of her friends to side eye her both with the same thought in mind: ‘Oh Merlin, what is she thinking now?’
---------------
Well, what Ginny had been thinking wasn’t too bad but, (Y/n) was still quite nervous as she sat here. She was thankful Ginny hadn’t trapped them in a 1 on 1 situation or did something fucking stupid such as locking them in the room of requirement together. No, instead she had gathered her and Neville’s shared group of friends and decided to have a picnic together whilst everyone else was at Hogsmeade. Luna had asked the house elves to spare some of the extra food they had from lunch which they gave to her kindly considering how sweet she was to them always. 
Even though all of their friends were there, she still found herself being nervous which is why she still sat on the blanket with Hermione as Ron, Harry, and Dean picked on Neville lightheartedly by splashing him with water, Ginny and Luna challenged each other to different swim challenges, and Hermione read a book, relaxing comfortably under the shade of the tree. She sighed to herself, hugging her legs closer to her chest as she brought her face to rest upon her knees. She let her eyes wander back to Neville, a smile gracing her face as she observed him. She never got the time to just watch him in a natural environment. Every time she saw him, he was always so jumpy or nervous, awkwardly engaging in conversation with people who usually just wanted herbology help or needed advice on how to care for their plants. But now, watching as he smiled and laughed with their friends she realized just how infatuated with him she truly was. She took in the way his hair looked wet, his usually wavy hair drooped, water dripping from the strands. She smiled, noticing the way his crooked smile looked when he was his happiest. She began to get flustered noticing the way his arms had a bit of definition to them which (Y/n) could only assume came from all the heavy lifting he did for Professor Sprout in the greenhouse.
“You should join him. Sitting there and wondering what could be isn’t gonna get you anywhere.” (Y/n) gasped a little, whipping her head around quickly to look at her friend whose eyes were still fixated on the book in her hand, flipping the pages delicately.
“H-how did yo-”
“How did I know? You’re so predictable. Plus, you’re a little chatterbox. The only time you shut up is when you look at him.” Hermione giggled, finally peering at her friend over her book. She closed it and set it down on the blanket before taking off her cover up. She held a hand down to her friend. “Well, are you coming?” (Y/n) looked up at her friend, biting the inside of her cheek as she thought about it before nodding, letting Hermione pull her up. She began to take off her own cover up before taking a deep breath. She looked at her friend and they began walking towards the lake.
“I’ve never seen ‘Mione in a swimsuit before. She looks...like a girl.” Ron said to his friends as they watched the two girls near the lake. His friends all responded in some form of agreement. He turned to look at Neville, smirking as he saw him staring at the girls. “It looks like you agree don’t you, Nev?” Neville shook his head, a light blush coating his cheeks. Unknown to his friends he wasn’t looking at Hermione though, he was looking at her. 
“Yeah, she’s quite beautiful.” This didn’t go unnoticed by Ginny though who smirked, deciding to turn things up a notch.
“Hey, why don’t we all play some chicken? There’s enough of us!” Ginny said, beginning to walk over to the guys with Luna not too far behind her. “Unless you guys are scared, you know I’m the chicken champion so I wouldn’t be surprised if you w-”
“Don’t be ridiculous Gin! You know for a fact I’m way better than you, I proved that when you came to my place last summer.” (Y/n) said giggling at her overly confident friend. She tried sneaking a glance at Neville but found she had been caught in the act as Neville was already staring at her. She looked away quickly rubbing the back of her neck. Wait, why was Neville already looking at her?
 She shook herself out of her thoughts as they all began to pair off for chicken. The (h/c) haired girl went to approach one of her friends but found that Ginny and Harry already paired. She quickly tried turning to Hermione who made her way over to Ron. She sent one last pleading glance Luna’s way but the girl simply smiled at her before walking over to Dean. She felt her heart race at what she already suspected to happen. “I-I guess it's us, Nev.” she felt herself growing a bit insecure at having to sit on the boy’s shoulders. Although she was short, she didn’t have as small of a frame as her other friends did. “L-listen Neville, if I’m too heavy or too much for you to lift don’t even worry about it! I have no problem bei-”
With all the courage Neville could muster, he took a deep breath diving under water before rising up with the girl on his shoulder as his large hands gripped at her thighs making sure she was sturdy on his shoulders. She shrieked a bit at the unexpected gesture, gripping at his hair a bit. Holy shit was his heart racing. Had he really just done that? What had gotten into him? ‘Don’t back down, Nev! Say something cool, say something cool!!’ 
He cleared his throat some, before patting her thigh with his hand. “You’re fine. Y-you don’t weigh much of anything.” He said. She felt herself relax some, hoping he couldn’t feel the goosebumps on her thighs. However, Neville’s thoughts were far from the goosebumps. He couldn’t help himself from thinking that they were just as soft as he had imagined them to be. He was in deep and he knew it. “L-l-listen (Y/n), I-”
“Alright who’s going first? Me vs ‘Mione maybe? Come on Harry, move faster!” Ginny said. (Y/n) found herself trying to stifle a giggle at the sight before her. Ginny was tugging at Harry’s hair and yelling at the boy as he argued back. She couldn’t contain herself at the sight, she began to laugh trying to make sure she didn’t fall off Neville’s shoulders at the movement. 
Neville however was so entranced at that sound. He found himself wanting to be the person to cause that melodic giggle to come from her every time. “They’re so cute aren’t they?” she asked as he hummed in agreement. “I’d love to have something like that.” she mumbled to herself, however Neville had heard.
-------------------------------
Ginny was on a win streak, she had beaten Luna and Dean, and Hermione and Ron. She was feeling confident as she banged on her chest cheering which reminded (Y/n) of a muggle movie her aunt once showed her. She had been absentmindedly petting Neville’s hair, running her fingers through it as she swirled it around her fingers. He hadn’t minded though, his face was flushed a bright pink and he was much too scared to say anything, worried that if he did he would end up waking up in his bed and it all would’ve been a dream. He heard his favorite voice pull him out of his thoughts.
“We’re up next Nev, think we’ll win?” she asked as she leaned over, her face appearing in front of his upside down. He jumped a bit, pulling his face back and tightening his grip on her legs.
“C-careful (Y/n!) You might fall if you’re not!” he said, staring into her eyes. God were they beautiful.
“I doubt it, I’ve got you holding me up. I trust ya, you wouldn’t let me fall.” she said giggling as she leaned back up, her lips accidentally brushing against his nose and forehead on the way back up which has caused both of them to freeze up and a silence to fall upon the two. Their eyes both watched as Luna fell off of Dean’s shoulders again as Ginny cheered at another victory.
“But to answer your question, I think we’ve got this in the bag! Let’s do this!” He said as he waded over to them. She smiled at his enthusiasm as they looked over at them. She looked over at Luna who gave her a wink causing her to grow shy once more. 
“Ah a new challenger approaches!” Ron exclaims, his eyes drifting to the pair. Neville glared at Ron a bit when his eyes lingered on the girl above him’s figure for just a tad too long before he cleared his throat.
“We’re gonna kick your ass, Gin! Prepare to get that gorgeous red hair of yours soaked! Isn’t that right, Neville?” She asked looking down at his head as he nodded along. “Consider this a rematch to last summer. I’ve come to snatch my crown right from off your head.” she said placing an invisible crown done on her head laughing as Ginny scoffed at her actions.
“Bring it on (y/h/h)!” She said as Harry began to walk over to her. The two girls both began to approach each other with looks of determination in their eyes. Neville let his eyes wander to the water watching the girl’s actions through the water.
“Beautiful..” he muttered in awe as he gazed upon her affectionately. Although he was nervous, he was even more so nervous of letting her down. He tightened his grip on her plush thighs as a determined expression made its way to his face. 
Ginny and (Y/n) both began pushing and tugging at each other trying to get each other to fall. And (Y/n) did have to admit, it was no easy feat considering how tone Ginny was from quidditch practice and how out of shape she was herself from all those late night cake sessions with the house elves but it didn’t deter her at all. She continued to push and shove at Ginny. If she could only get a better grip...she didn’t have that much time to do so as the redhead girl gave a particularly hard push causing the girl to almost topple over. Almost being the key word. Neville gripped at her a bit harder at her as she went backwards causing her to fling forward with quite a bit of force. Using said force to her advantage, the (y/h/h) girl was able to push Ginny, sending her and Harry falling in. They both cheered Neville spinning around with her as they laughed before he felt something tug his leg sending them both flying into the water.
Neville resurfaced, spluttering a bit as he shook his head a bit. “Sod off, Harry! You’re a sore loser!” He exclaimed laughing with his friend. He turned to his side remembering the (h/c) girl. He watched as she resurfaced and took a gasp of air. His breath hitched as he watched the way she pushed her hair back, chest on display behind her swimsuit. God was she gorgeous.. He shook himself out of his thoughts, pushing some of her hair behind her ear that she had managed to miss. He watched as she looked away from him shyly muttering a soft thank you towards him.
They went at it for a bit more, the girls all determined to at least win one round. At some point, Ginny even put Harry on her shoulders and as it turned out, he was way worse at chicken than she was. Even Luna had somehow managed to beat him. But as they all went on, the group grew hungry and decided as the sun would be setting soon, it’d be a good idea to eat like they originally planned. They all gathered around on the large gingham blanket and once again, her friends turned against her leaving the only spot available for her next to Neville. However, unlike last time she decided to take full advantage of the situation. She feigned a shiver, catching his attention as she hoped. 
“A-are you cold, (Y/n)?” He asked, eyes full of concern.
“Yeah, just a bit Nev!” she smiled back at him, popping another grape into her mouth. Neville looked at her blankly for a bit before deciding to give into his temptation. See, the thing with Neville wasn’t that he was scared. No, in fact he had had his fair share of flings during his time at Hogwarts unbeknownst to his friends. It's just, she was different. He made his heart race in different ways and gave him goosebumps on his arms and back. She made his brain short circuit from the mere sight of her. However, he knew she would not be single forever. He wasn’t oblivious to the lingering looks his friends had been given her throughout the night and he certainly wasn’t going to stay in the same lane as them. So, without a second thought he grabbed her with ease sitting her in his lap, the soft skin of her waist meeting the soft skin of his arms as he pulled her into his chest. (Y/n) felt her breath hitch slightly, as her own set of goosebumps started to form.
“Is that better?” Neville whispered softly to her as his chin came to rest on her shoulder. She turned her head slightly, her lips slightly brushing against his freckled cheek due to their close proximity. Instead of responding, she simply nodded still in a state of shock. Was this really happening? Her (e/c) eyes came to meet Ginny’s who simply smirked, sending her a wink before she went back to her conversation with Harry. None of her friends seemed that shocked at the position they were in. (Y/n) found herself a mix between relieved and offended that no one was surprised.
Although (Y/n) hadn’t noticed anything, the clenched fist and furrowed brows of his own friends did not go unnoticed. He felt himself smile internally, Neville 1 and the others 0. He caressed her skin lightly as if she was made of the finest of porcelain that would break from even a bit of pressure. The Gryffindor boy felt a surge of confidence within himself as goosebumps formed under his fingertips. He was knocked from his thoughts as a ripe strawberry was pressed against his lips, turning his attention to the (h/c) haired girl. He slowly took a bite from it, pink lips wrapped around the red fruit. He hummed constantly as he pulled away. (Y/n) moved back slightly to look at him, giggling at his red stained lips as the juice rolled down his chin a bit.
“Hey, you’ve got a bit of..” she trailed off giggling more as she motioned towards the juice. “One second, I’ll get it for you.” she murmured, reaching for a napkin. Neville pulled her back causing her to give him a confused look.
“No need.” he whispered, pulling her forward, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was a mix of everything at once. Passion. Hesitance. Desire. And oh, he couldn’t forget his little friend: temptation. He pulled her closer, settling his large hands at the base of her spine right about her rear as hers wrapped around his neck. The girl’s fingers twirled the hair at the bottom of his head trying to distract her from the tingling sensation she felt all over. Neville nibbled at her lip a bit, biting it as he pulled away. “T-this is probably the wrong time to ask but, are you seeing anyone?”
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The next week, Neville found himself in that same spot in the hallway that he was in the previous monday. His thoughts drift to the angel known as his vice, his temptation. He watched as her smooth legs made their way down the hall, smile on her face as per usual. However, this time he didn’t have to crave to be the one those eyes were lighting up at. He didn’t have to crave to be the one that oh so beautiful smile was caused by, because he was. He held his arms open with a smile, stumbling back a bit as the (y/h/h) jumped in his arms. He caught her, twirling her around as they both laughed before he placed her on the ground grabbing her hand. Neville placed a peck upon her cheek, nothing but adoration in his eyes. He gulped slightly, sweaty palms as they walked by McGonagall but he found himself relaxing when she sent a wink his way as she gave him a smile of approval.
Although temptation had originally showed itself on his doorstep as a visitor in his home, it eventually developed into something more and became a welcome resident in his home. Temptation was no longer temptation, it was love.
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harry-writings · 4 years ago
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Arrogant Son of a Bitch
- The one where Harry and Y/n are separated, but Harry gets jealous when he sees Y/n getting ready for a date with another man 
Masterlist 
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It was the last thing Harry wanted to see, really — Y/n in a tight red dress, hooking gold earrings into her ears while she rubs her lips together,  spreading the crimson lipstick upon the surface, legs ending at her black stilettos.
But that’s exactly what Harry sees when he walks into her apartment to pick up their six-month old son, and he’s never had so much of an urge to gouge his eyes out from their sockets and leave them lifeless upon the ground.
There’s someone else. Y/n’s dolling herself up, wearing her Sunday best, letting her hair down in loose curls even though she hates curling her fucking hair, for somebody else — for somebody that’s not him, for somebody that’s not her husband.
“Hey, Harry! Thank you so much for coming early. I don’t want to be late!”
She still has yet to look at him — still scrambling around her living room, gathering everything she needs — and Harry doesn’t even know if he wants her to. One glance from her when she looks like this... and he’ll be a goner, he knows it, and he can’t afford to get all jealous and possessive in front of the very woman he broke things off with not just one year ago.
It was his idea to file for divorce, at the end of it all. Y/n had tried everything she could to mend the marriage that was in constant shambles, but Harry was always too stubborn and too prideful to admit to all the things he’d done wrong. And he did everything wrong.
He didn’t treat Y/n with the kind of love he had once given her — with the kind of love she always deserved. He treated Y/n like an obligation rather than a choice, a burden rather than a need, yet she always kept her promises and lived by her vows because it wasn’t just a casual relationship that could be thrown away and forgotten about, it was marriage.
She signed them up for marriage counseling, but Harry failed to show up to half the meetings. And when he did, he’d just sit there with a scowl on his face saying that talking about their feelings wouldn’t help any because there were no feelings. She tried working around his schedule to go on getaway vacations together to respire their connection, but he always spent the portion of time he could have spent with her working on more of his music.
And when she got pregnant with his baby, Y/n was desperate and silently hoped that the little bundle of joy growing inside of her would help fix all that had been broken between them. But it was no avail. If anything, it only made them grow further apart. Perhaps it was because he felt more bound to her when he didn’t want to be with her at all.
He told her he wanted the divorce half-way through the six month mark of her pregnancy. She was big, she was struggling, and she was absolutely exhausted, yet Harry couldn’t find it in his heart to push it aside any longer. He needed to let her go.
But as Harry stands here, watching Y/n looking as gorgeous as ever for another man that isn’t even hers, makes him want to take back everything he had ever done.
And it’s not that he didn’t before — he’s wanted to take it back from the second he walked into their home with divorce papers in his hands, his pregnant wife sobbing on the kitchen counter, asking why it had to be this way — it just feels like a fresh wound on his already scarred and fragile heart, and he genuinely feels as if a part of him has died.
“You’re going on a date.” Harry says knowingly, his frown deepening in the corners of his lips. And he knows he has no right to feel the way he does — so upset and hurt, like his heart had been ripped in two — but he can’t help himself from falling apart.
At the end of the day, she’s still his wife. Sure, the divorce papers had been filed, but there was still so much that had to be done for their last final steps. But of course, just like everything else that involved Y/n, Harry didn’t make the time for it.
Y/n shrugs, her thumbs twiddling together with her head down, eyes casted at the ground beneath his feet.
It’s been a year since Harry brought the divorce papers home, and Y/n’s barely looked at him since. Sometimes he’s thankful she doesn’t, but sometimes, in times like these, he wishes she would… even if it’ll hurt.
“Yeah, I guess. Just some guy I met the other night at the grocery store. Couldn’t reach one of the cereals for Topher and saw me struggling. Guess he thought I was pretty or something and told me he wanted to take me out.”
“I didn’t ask.”
She knows she should have stopped herself from talking sooner, but being around Harry makes her head spin and her body disassociate from herself. She doesn’t ever know what to do, or what to say, whenever he’s around.
There’s a part of her that tries so desperately to act as if everything is normal — like nothing had ever happened — mainly for Topher’s sake. But the other part of her knows that that’s such an impossible thing to do no matter how hard she tries.
Y/n purses her lips, dropping her hands at her sides in defeat. “Right.”
And it’s not that Harry wants to talk to her this way — like he doesn’t care about her, like he can barely stand the sight of her anymore; it’s the farthest from the truth, really, he’s just utter shit at saying how he feels or what he’s thinking. He’ll lie, and lie, and lie — chew on the truth and spit it out if it means he doesn’t have to apologize.
And right now, that’s all he wants to do. He wants to break down and drown in his tears, hold her to him and tell her how sorry he is for everything he’s put her through. But he has this unexplainable, unsettling wall built around him that he can’t knock down no matter how hard he swings at it.
He curses his career for it, really. He wishes he could be one of the celebrities that says fame hasn’t gotten to his head, but it has. In the most selfish, most arrogant of ways, fame has made him so prideful that he never puts himself to blame for anything that happens in his life.
His mother was the first one to tell him, and still never fails to remind him now that the divorce has been put in place.
You never fight for anything in your life. She’d always say. You think you’re too good for your mistakes. Put your wife through hell, making your kid go through hell, all because you swallow the two words that could fix everything you’ve ever broken. 
But he wants to fight for Y/n. Oh, how badly does he want to, but at this point, it’s just too late. All the damage had already been done, and no woman could ever forgive a man that left her during the nine months she needed the man she loves the most.
“Didn’t mean it like that, just —“ he croaks brokenly, gulping down the cries he doesn’t deserve to weep. “Does he know you’re married?”
The question makes her feel guilty — really guilty, the kind of guilty that makes her stomach swim with bile because nothing she does is ever going to feel right, for either of them. And she knows going on a date when the divorce hasn’t been set in stone is just making everything so much harder.
But what is she to do? Wait around for Harry to finally take the time out of his music to go to the courtroom so she could finally move on? She can’t keep being legally bound to a man that no longer loves her, she can’t keep doing this dance by herself because she’ll never have the heart to find somebody else.
And she just needs somebody else.
Because she’s still so deeply in love with Harry, it hurts. Everyday feels like the world is grabbing her at her feet, sucking her into its core until she’s floating in the midst of everybody’s life except her own. She’s living day by day stuck between the confines of marriage and separation and the worst part is, she feels not only separated from Harry, but also from herself.
It was so good. Everything about them was just so good… and Y/n doesn’t know what she had done wrong to make Harry fall out of love with her.  But somewhere between their picture-perfect relationship hid an unbearable amount of blame being put onto Y/n for things that weren’t her fault, or her responsibility, or her obligations.
The stupidest, littlest of things would set Harry off — leading to heart-wrenching periods of silence, an uncomfortable amount of tension, and constant reminders that her love wasn’t enough to make him happy.
And she just can’t keep living with that anymore. She can’t stand the fact that she has to keep thinking of him because he’s still here, all the time, swimming in the same gray area she’s been drowning in.
“That’s not fair.” Y/n frowns, her eyes briefly looking up to get a glimpse of his face, which is red and as broken as ever, and she curses her wandering eyes.
“I don’t go out with other women because you’re still my wife.” Harry nearly sobs the last word, still finding it hard to speak after everything they had been through. Because really, is she his wife, or just the ghost of her? “I still love you just as much. I’d be cheating on you if I even thought of it.”
And it’s true. Harry hasn’t looked at or even thought of another woman since the moment his heart found hers. She’s the first one he sees — in a room full of people, in his daydreams, in his music — she’s the only one he sees, in everything. He couldn’t even imagine it.
Y/n flutters her eyes closed to keep her composure, wishing now more than ever to be sucked up into the earth’s core again because she doesn’t want to be here anymore — in a room so close to him, feeling his every breath, hearing his every word echo in her head.
“Harry… I’m not your wife anymore. We’re separated. You’ve made it more than clear to me that you don’t love or want me anymore. I can’t keep living my life on your time.”
Y/n’s looking up at him as if begging him to understand, but he doesn’t. He may have fucked up one too many times down the line, but at the end of the day, he’s never once told Y/n he didn’t love her anymore. And he couldn’t even dream of telling Y/n he didn’t want her anymore, he’d throw up if he so much as tried.
There isn’t a universe Harry wouldn’t want Y/n in. She’s all he’s ever wanted.
“When have I ever said that?”
He asks it like her words sucked all that was left out of him and she almost wants to take it back, but she won’t.
“You didn’t have to.”
His eyes drop to the floor and a new wave of tears begin to rise at the surface, pushing at his throat.
He has nothing to say for himself.
Y/n sighs, her eyes wandering around the room as she waits for Harry to break this deafening silence, but he doesn’t. So, she lifts her purse higher upon her shoulder before coughing awkwardly to the open air.
“Topher is in the car seat all ready to go. His binkie should be in there, too. I would love to stay and chat but I really need to get —”
“Please, don’t go.” Harry interrupts, his voice cracking as he closes his eyes, loose tears falling down his cheeks and hitting the hardwood floor below them, hand inching closer to hers. “Stay here with me.”
She’s frozen still, the feeling of her hand being this close to his knocking the breath straight out of her lungs and nearly sending her to her knees. Because how badly does she want to — how badly does Y/n want to break the laws of reality just to be with her Harry again, even for a second, but she can’t keep letting herself believe they will ever come back from this. She can’t keep going back to Harry.
She has to stop choosing Harry.
“I can’t, Harry.” She breathes out, not having the heart or the strength to look up into the very eyes that never fail to make her fall in love. “I can’t stay with you any longer. I have to go.”
And before Harry could reach for her any farther, she was already gone.
-
Y/n was practically dead to the world — all her apartment lights shut off, all doors and windows locked, phone turned off and buried somewhere beneath all the covers she’s been hibernating in — before she heard someone practically beating down her front door.
She rolls over to her nightstand, groaning as her eyes blink to adjust to the blue light reading 1:04AM vibrantly in the dark. She sits herself up on her elbow, huffing out a breath as her hands reach up to rub the dryness out of her eyes.
She looks around her room as her brain scrambles to process reality, but it isn’t until another series of knocks jolt her up from where she sits, nearly losing balance in the process.
“Why? Why can’t I have nice things?” Y/n whispers to herself as she makes her way out of her bedroom to her front door, way too far out of her mind to bother checking her peephole before unlocking the knob and swinging it open.
“Mitch!” Y/n shrieks, her arms held out stiffly in front of her as Harry’s body is thrown into them — not so sure if holding him up is the appropriate thing to do considering they haven’t even touched each other once since the separation. “What the fuck!”
“You don’t answer your fucking phone!” Mitch fumes, his eyes bewildered and unsteady as his body is so visibly angry he doesn’t even know what to do with himself — pinching his lips between his fingers, practically walking in circles, trying his hardest to breathe through the pit of fire burning in his chest. “Needed to get him the fuck away from me!”
Mitch knows it’s not Y/n’s fault that she wasn’t answering his calls — it is well over midnight, after all — but he has been so pushed over the edge that he doesn’t have time to think about anything else other than being as far away from Harry as humanly possible.
Y/n’s struck with confusion because in all the four years she had been with Harry, he never had any problems with Mitch. Sure, they’d bump heads about which notes sound better in certain songs, or bicker a bit after long hours at the studio, but never anything like this.
“Been pissing me off all night about your stupid date! Proper fucking idiot, he is. Files a divorce with you, for what? To get jealous at every man that makes eyes at you? Arrogant son of a bitch, had half the mind to knock him in before I decided to bring him here.”
“Shut up, Mitch!” Harry growls groggily against the skin of Y/n’s shoulder.
Mitch turns his body to face Harry’s back, one hand on his hip while the other rubs along the roots of his beard, his face scrunching with what Y/n can only consider to be a look of complete malice.
He knows he shouldn’t be throwing Harry under the bus about their private conversations, especially ones that consist of Y/n, but there’s only so much he could put up with.
It’s sickening, really — having to constantly be there for Harry when everything that’s gotten him to this point has been his own fault. Harry doesn’t deserve comforting, but Mitch has been alongside him for far too long to not care about his feelings and emotions… no matter how wrong they are.
And what’s even more sickening is seeing how badly he’s hurting his own self by avoiding the divorce entirely instead of taking responsibility for his actions. Mitch could go on and on about all the ways to make things right again, yet still in some way, somehow, it always seems to go right past Harry’s head.
Because trying to sway Harry’s mind or his decisions is practically like pulling teeth — he’ll always find a way to go against what everybody else says and it drives Mitch up the wall. He’s sick and tired of wasting his breath all because Harry’s too stubborn to take anybody else’s path but his own.
“You couldn’t just bring him home? Where the hell is Topher?”
Y/n is struggling to keep Harry up because she’s not even sure if she’s doing it right. He’s got his entire body pressed up against hers, all of his weight being held by her still half-asleep arms and he shouldn’t even be here.
“No, I couldn’t bring him home because the first three times I tried, he wouldn’t get out of my damn car.” Mitch growls through clenched teeth, the side of his fist taking one last swing at Y/n’s open door.
He takes a couple deep breaths, his elbow leaning against the doorframe and he squeezes his eyes shut to regain his composure. “Topher’s with Sarah for the night. Now, for the love of fuck, make Harry grow a pair of balls so he can finally talk to you and not me, please.”
His eyes are pleading with Y/n’s silently, and she nods her head at him in response. She can’t leave Harry like this if she wanted to, anyways.
She sighs, holding Harry against her chest now to get a proper grip on him, and she can feel him press a small kiss against the crook of her neck.
“Have a good night, Mitch. Take care of yourself.”
She smiles softly at him, and for a moment in time, she feels like everything might be okay.
Maybe she only feels this way because this is the first time she’s touched Harry in a year now and it gives her the sense of clarity she’s been missing for so long. Or, maybe she feels this way because Mitch was always the one who was rooting for them despite everything they’ve been through, and knowing he still cares enough about the both of them to bring Harry to her apartment to talk gives her the smallest bit of hope she’s been needing.
“You too, Y/n.”
Mitch gives her one last reassuring look before he shuts the door, leaving Y/n and Harry alone in the confines of her apartment with absolutely nowhere else to go.
She guides him to her couch, which was a bit more difficult than she expected considering Harry is nearly twice her height and much stronger than he realizes. It takes almost all the energy out of her to get him to take a few steps of his own until he’s finally sitting upon the cushions.
“Your date.” Harry mumbles against her shoulder while she lays him down upon the couch, his glossy eyes looking up at her with genuine hurt and concern when his head lays upon the pillow. “Did he treat you nice?”
Y/n smiles softly to herself, reaching for the blanket sprawled atop of the couch — the very blanket Harry gifted her for the first Christmas they spent together. It’s been her favorite ever since.
“I didn’t go.”
“You didn’t go?”
Harry can’t deny that he feels happy about it — happy that she didn’t spend the night with somebody else, happy that she couldn’t find it in her heart to move on from him quite yet. But another part of him — a bigger part of him — suddenly feels guilty, and empty, and like his insides have all been set on fire until they all melted to nothing.
She’s been alone all night. She’s been alone every night. And sure, she had Topher to keep her company throughout the week… but she’s lonely and she’s sad. He can see it in everything she does. And tonight was her one night to be herself again, and somehow, Harry managed to find a way to take it all away from her, just like he’s done with everything else.
She was going to go if he hadn’t guilt-tripped her and begged her not to leave. And she looked so pretty, so fucking breathtaking, for nobody to see it. And that alone is enough to make the last bit of his heart completely shatter until his chest becomes a voided pit.
Y/n nods her head, emotionless, as she pulls the blanket up to his chin. “You were right, we’re still married. It wasn’t fair of me.”
She knows it would have been fair either way, but after seeing how upset Harry looked upon the realization that she was going out with somebody else, she couldn’t stomach the thought of spending the rest of the night trying to make another man happy — one, she’s sure, wouldn’t have even made her happy.
She still didn’t choose Harry, but she didn’t choose anybody else, either, and to know that puts her head at rest. At least for a little while.
“With that being said,” Y/n coughs a bit, blinking away the tears that were mere seconds from falling, “You really need to pick a court date, Harry.”
He knows he does. He’s been draining himself out trying to think of the best time to get it all done — it has taken him twelve months, after all. But the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he doesn’t want to be done — not with their marriage, not with her.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever want for it to all be done. And so whenever he plans to meet with his lawyer, he can only get as far as parking his car in the lot because he never has the strength to actually walk inside.
Because he knows once he does, there’s no going back, and he can’t imagine himself not going back to her.
So, he’ll cry. He’ll scream, he’ll punch at his steering wheel, he’ll hit his head against the headrest over, and over, and over again until he’s so worn out he can hardly breathe. Because he can’t do it. He doesn’t want to do it.
There have been five appointments he couldn’t bring himself to go to, and she has no idea.
“I can’t.” Harry whispers with bloodshot eyes and shaking hands — refusing to look at her because he doesn’t know what will happen if he does. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to leave you?”
Y/n’s breath hitches in her throat because of all the things she expected him to say, that surely wasn’t one of them.
Deep down, she knows he’s hurting, but she never expected it to be so hard on him. Besides, he made it seem so easy — to leave her, like she meant nothing to him after the four years they had been together. And she couldn’t count the amount of times Harry had reminded her that he didn’t have feelings for her anymore.
So that’s what she always believed — that he didn’t love her, that he didn’t want her, that he didn’t need her. But hearing Harry cry out those very words, do you have any idea how hard it is to leave you?, makes her question everything she had ever known.
Because he did leave her — has left her on her own for a year now and has never given her a reason to believe he wanted it any other way until this very moment; Harry laying drunk on her living room couch, crying over the thought of her with another man. He has barely looked at her, has barely even touched her, until now — until it’s been far too late.
“You’ve already left me.” Y/n whispers, the tears she once blinked back now falling freely and silently down her cheeks.
There’s a crack in her voice that Harry can feel down his spine, shaking him to his core and leaving him frozen still. He’s never heard her sound so hurt and broken before and he feels his chest hallowing from the inside out; he is the only one to blame.
If he could just tell her everything he hasn’t — if he could just prove to her that not a single fiber in his body has let her go — no matter the consequences, he would in a heartbeat.
But Harry really hasn’t fought for anything in his life, he wouldn’t even know where to begin — he wouldn’t even know what to say, or what to do, to pick up all these pieces. And the worst part is that he wants to, so badly, but he worries that it won’t be enough — that he won’t be enough — and he won’t be able to handle it. His entire world would collapse.
He blindly reaches for her hand because she’s the only one that can ground him and he feels like he’s falling into a never-ending abyss with no safety-net. Truthfully, he’s been feeling that way for an entire year, until now, with her hand in his.
“Not even a little bit.” He breathes out from quivering lips, eyes unblinking, staring helplessly at their intertwined fingers.
Y/n sobs behind her pursed lips, squeezing her eyes closed as she stomps her foot down upon the floor because this can’t be happening. He can’t be doing this, not now — not when she’s this far into grieving his loss, not when she was finally taking her first step away from him. He can’t.
“Harry —”
“Before you say anything please, please just listen to me.”
Both of his hands are now cradling hers in his palms, slightly tugging at her arm because he is wholeheartedly desperate to say everything she needs to hear.
If he doesn’t get it all out now, he may never have her again. And if he has to spend the rest of his goddamn life being so lonely that he begins to loathe the world for moving on when his own stopped turning, he’d rather do it knowing he at least tried.
And if there’s one person he’d try anything for — do anything for — it would be his wife.
“When I filed the divorce it — it wasn’t because of you, okay? I didn’t — fuck — I thought it was my only choice. And it wasn’t because I didn’t love you the same, or because I wanted to be with somebody else, it was because I wasn’t what you deserved.”
Y/n’s staring down at him with furrowed eyebrows and open lips, everything around her moving so quickly she can hardly keep up.
These are answers she’s been begging for for nearly two years now, yet somehow, nothing could have prepared herself for them. She’s gotten so used to wondering — so used to questioning how the universe will take control of their destiny that now, having all the answers seems to defy all forms of faith.
It’ll all be in her hands now. What they’ll be in a year from now, where they’ll be a year from now, or who they’ll be with a year from now is all up to her. Because at the end of it all, Harry wouldn’t be pulling her closer, sobbing into her hand, breaking down all his walls and boundaries if he didn’t want her to break off the divorce.
“I would be away from you for months on end, so goddamn far away that god forbid something were to happen to you, I couldn’t be the first one by your side. I couldn’t be the first one to make you smile each morning, or be the first one to keep you together whenever the world was breaking you down.
“I wasn’t your first, for anything. I couldn’t be. And it was tearing me apart, knowing you were all alone every day and every night. But then I’d come home and it would feel — it would feel so good, like time hadn’t passed between us… but it did, so, so fast, and in a blink of an eye, I’d have to leave you again.”
His mind thinks back to all the times he’s had Y/n crying on his shoulder the nights before he had to leave the country, clinging onto him and begging him to stay with her just a little while longer.
They were so in love with each other that they hardly wanted to spend any time away from one another because they had a connection that was so raw and so real, they couldn’t find it in anything or anybody else. So each time he had to wake up at the crack of dawn to travel the world, Y/n pouting on the bed watching him pack his life together, would break him in two every single time.
The world meant nothing without her.
“The hole that kept swallowing me up every time I had to walk out on you became too much. But I couldn’t tell you that. I couldn’t tell you that because — because I wanted to hold it together so badly for you. I needed to keep it together because I knew if I couldn’t, you wouldn’t be able to, either. It was already so hard on you and I knew that and I kept leaving. And if I had told you that I spent every single night away from you crying my fucking eyes out, you’d sacrifice everything else you had to come be with me… and I couldn’t do that to you.
“And the more I kept bottling it up, the more I took it out on you. I didn’t want to — didn’t even mean to — but I did, in ways that I couldn’t justify to you because I couldn’t even justify them to myself. Then there was a part of me — the worst and most selfish part of me — that couldn’t apologize for it because the world had somehow convinced me that I didn’t need to.”
By now, Y/n’s knees are pressed against the front of the couch as Harry hooks one of his arms around her legs, his forehead making a home at the front of her hip.
“I’d just get more upset with myself, more angry, more ashamed. It was this constant cycle — feeling like I wasn’t enough for you, then blaming you for all my mistakes, pushing you away even farther. Then you got pregnant.”
They both let out a sob.
“And all I could think about was… if I couldn’t be there for my wife, how could I be there for my son? How could I show him the world and give him everything he ever wished for if I couldn’t even do that for you — for the one person I would choose over anything?”
His chin rests where his forehead once did, his red and puffy eyes trying their best to stay open enough to take a good look at her.
“I loved you beyond words. I looked at you and I saw my entire life in front of me. You continuously blew me away, every single day. Being away from you was — it was dangerous. You weren’t beside me and I was just this empty pit wallowing in hotel rooms that I didn’t even want to be in. I couldn’t get enough of you no matter how much I tried. You consumed me whole, and yet I still found a way to convince you that you were the one who wasn’t enough for me.”
He lets out a laugh through his cries, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he’s capable of destroying such beautiful things — things that were eternal, things that were once unbreakable.
And here he is, praying that he can also be the man that fixes them.
“Then I thought… if she found someone else that could give her everything she deserved, maybe he could be a better father to our son, too. And I was so scared and so angry and so sad I just — I did what I thought would make you happier instead of being a fucking man and owning up to it. But I didn’t, and now look at what’s in my hands. You’re all alone because of me. You’re crying because of me. Topher has to go back and forth between his parents because of me. I’m skipping meetings with my lawyer because I decided to file for a fucking divorce I didn’t even want. I broke our family apart, I broke us apart, I tore you from the inside out and didn’t even tell you that I was sorry.”
His eyes are closed, mouth open as it chokes out sounds of sorrow and pain, sounds of collapsing lungs and a torn chest.
“And I am so fucking sorry, baby.”
He speaks between sobs, his words broken and cracked but Y/n hears them loud and clear. He’s got her hand cradled against his soaking cheek, her palm pressed against the corner of his mouth that Harry keeps kissing.
He can’t fucking breathe and he really thinks this is it — that these are his last moments on earth and the next time he blinks, he’ll never open his eyes again.
Would he even want to, if Y/n isn’t the first thing he sees?
“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t the husband you needed me to be. I’m sorry that I let you down. I’m sorry I let our son down. I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you. I’m sorry that you’ve been waiting on me and held yourself back because of me. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t loved.”
He keeps kissing at her hand, rubbing at the back of her legs, holding onto her like he’d collapse if he dared let her go. He knows he’s going to have to eventually, but he can’t think about that right now.
He needs this — to feel her, to smell her, to soak her all in before their new forever begins, spent apart and living lives so far away from one another that they couldn’t cross paths even if they wanted to.
This is his goodbye. He knows it. She’s not going to forgive him no matter how much he begs for her to understand — how could she? He can’t blame her. He hasn’t even forgiven himself and doesn’t expect anything more from her now, other than to listen to him one last time.
“I love you so much and there will never be a universe where I don’t, or won’t. I think about you… everyday, every second. To this day, I wake up reaching for you at least three times a night, wondering why you aren’t with me. Every time I come to pick Topher up I spend an hour in front of my bathroom mirror telling myself that I have to hold myself back from you. And then when I see you, I have to keep myself together and hold myself in place because you just get more and more beautiful with every day that passes and — and it breaks my heart all over again.”
Y/n reaches her hand down to his hair, gently brushing her fingers back against his scalp because he needs her — she knows he needs her and she can’t choose to be selfish now.
Right now, he doesn’t need her to be anything but his wife, and this may be the last time she’ll ever be his.
They keep each other embraced for a while, silently, unmoving and bracing themselves for the fall they’re each going to have to take.
These are their dying moments — their final moments before the casket gets shut and thrown six feet below them — and it won’t be long before the dirt from the ground gets piled up again, over their bodies, leaving them to decay in the life they once believed belonged to them.
They know it’s to come, because this is the first time that they have been so close to each other, yet feel so lonely all at once. And it’s not supposed to be this way.
“I can’t pick a date, Y/n,” Harry breaks the silence with a whisper, almost losing his voice along the way because what he’s about to say is enough to kill him, “but if you give me one I’ll — I’ll do it, okay?”
He holds her hand even tighter than before.
“If that’s what will make you happy, I’ll do it.”
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jadedxrealityw · 4 years ago
Text
-Truth Or Dare- Pansy Parkinson x Female Reader
    ☼-☪-☼
   Kody: Happy Lesbian Visibility Day!
   Movie/Show: Harry Potter 
   House and Year:  Slytherin / 7th year
   Request: Good morning/night! Hope you’re having a lovely day and make sure to drink water ! Can you write a Pansy x Fem!reader where they’re playing truth or dare and get dared to makeout in front of the people they’re playing with 
   Possible Triggers / Warnings: cursing, makeout, slytherin’s being dumbasses, if you don’t like girls kissing unfollow me please, 
    ☼-☪-☼
   slytherin’s were considered the most poised and proper house since most came from wealthy pure-blood families who acted like they were born with a stick up there ass. To everyone else the house of Slytherin was also the rudest people alive.
   those people have never been in your friend group clearly. 
   it was true, most of you came from wealth, but you also had shitty, racist, probably homophobic parents. It was the main thing that brought you together, the fact no one else knew what you had to go through just so you weren’t written out of an will or disowned. 
   it sounded shallow to most outsiders, but you needed the money to start your own life and finally be free to do what you want without the constant reminder from your parents about how to act, what to wear, who to hang out with, how to be a proper lady and all that bullshit. It was suffocating.
   enough of the emotional shit. It was a godsend that school year’s at Hogwarts were as long as they were because it meant you had all the time in the world to hangout with your best friends. Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and Pansy Parkinson. 
   Draco was the biggest hot head you knew and easily offended, but he also had a big heart under all that angst. When he attached to someone it was impossible to get rid of him. He clung onto all of you like a lifeline and even if he’s a little overbearing you loved him all the same. 
   Blaise was a calm collected fellow, very sarcastic and condescending sometimes. He talked so proper you couldn’t tell if he was insulting you really. Like Draco he also had a big heart, but would never ever show it unless you was with with Theo and to Theo only.
   speaking of Nott. Theo was the ultimate loner avoided all of you for your first year of Hogwarts, then he met Blaise and they connected very well. You all thought it was funny when Theo would be all quiet around you and suddenly light up like a star when Blaise walked into the room.
   he was like that with all of you now though
   and Pansy. She was the embodiment of ‘fuck you and your mom’ kind of person. She took no ones shit and you admired her for that. She was also a giant flirt towards you and only you. Compliment your looks, body, anything really. You thought of it as a joke t first and casually flirted back.
   you suppose Pansy saw that as an invitation to try something more. She’d randomly place her hand somewhere on you and trace random shapes in agonizing slow patterns. A tease at it’s finest. There were also the sides of her you found comforting. 
   you were always prone to panic attacks, something that developed from your parents nonetheless. She would always cradle your face and make sure you were breathing just fine or slip you chocolate frogs randomly because she knew you liked sweets. 
   she was your best friend, but with time your feelings changed and every little thing she did set fire through you like no other. Your heart would start beating so fast you were afraid she would hear it if she got to close. Sometimes you wished she did
   unbeknownst to you Draco, Blaise, and Theo all knew both you and Pansy liked each other and were both pussyfooting around your feelings. Pansy always thought she wasn’t good enough for you and you on the other hand thought that she just didn’t like you like that at all.
   the boy’s were adamant to see you two together
    ☼-☪-☼
   every other friday night all of you would crowd into Pansy’s room to have a sleepover- well you stopped calling it that after fourth year because Blaise said it was to immature for your guy’s age. He shut up real quick after Pansy said he wasn’t invited then. 
   each of you had your sacred tasks bestowed upon you if you wanted to be allowed entry to the dark cave that was Pansy Parkinson’s private dorm. Draco was in charge of getting butterbeer, Theo got sweets, Blaise had to collect extra pillows and blankets for you all to sleep on.
   and you and Pansy would watch idly as they ran round for said things. 
   “Finally, only took you three an hour” Pansy taunted as the three Slytherin boys walked through the door “Your not the one sneaking butterbeer into the dorms at two in the morning you lazy ass” Draco snapped back, holding the case of glass bottles in his hand. 
   Theo set the basket of sweets on Pansy’s trunk that was at the foot of her bed so he could help Blaise set up the blankets on the floor “Yeah shove off” she waves her hand before falling back onto the bed “Where’s Y/n? Is she not coming? She’s okay right?” BLaise asked, looking around the room.
   Pansy had to hold back a fit of laughter “She’s in the bathroom changing. Your dad is showing by the way” she snickers. Blaise scoffs and goes back to putting down the pillows.  “Why does she need to change?” Theo spoke up, taking a seat on a pillow.
   a grin made its way to Pansy’s face “Spilled some water on her clothes- she spilled water on her clothes” she quickly corrects herself. Draco narrows his eyes and looks at Blaise who gives him a knowing look. “Right” Draco says, knowing full well what happened. 
   the bathroom door opened and Pansy sat up quickly. You walked out, running a hand through your hair as the Slytherin girl eyed you up and down, unable to hide her grin at her shorts and matching black shirt on your body. “Hey Sexy” Pansy sends you a wink. 
   fuck
   you have learned to tone down your emotions around her, but still- “Hey” you reply simply nad go over to sit at the foot of the bed “Sorry for the wait” you say and they shake their heads “It’s fine, want some butterbeer?” Draco asked and you nod rapidly. 
   Draco begins to distribute the butterbeer amongst you all and that's when the chatting started. Pansy sat behind you and wrapped her arms around your waste, one hand holding her bottle of butter beer and the other wrapped tightly around you. 
   at one point she slid her hand up your shirt, stopping at your belly button to rub the cold metal of her ring along your skin. It made you choke on your butterbeer a bit and cough up “Are you alright?” Blaise asked and you nodded quickly, pointing to your throat “Went down the wrong pipe”
   Blaise seemed to believe your answer or faked it well because he went back to talking to Theo.
    ☼-☪-☼
   an hour later
   you all had pretty much devoured most of the sweets and were out of topics to talk about though Pansy could continue to insult Draco’s hair until her dying breath. “I’m fucking bored” Pansy whined, laying her head on your shoulder. Y/n.Exe has stopped working.
   “Not my damn problem” Draco retorts, popping a flavour bean into his mouth. You exhale, shaking your head. Weren’t your friends just the nicest people alive. “Good thing i didn’t fucking ask you then huh Malfoy!?” Pansy shouts. Blaise copies your previous actions and sighs.
   he reached up to rub his temples “May we not yell for the sake of my head and Theo’s” he says. Pansy was about to go in one Blaise when you spoke up “Yah, your yelling in my ears Pans” Draco shot her a smirk, knowing she wouldn’t yell after that. 
   Pansy flips him off with a grin “Sit and spin on it” she mouths to him and he just shoots her a glare “We could play truth to dare, heard a couple Hufflepuff girls talking about it. They said it was fun” Theo cut in, looking at his hands. Blaise’s face scrunched up a bit t the idea, but he didn’t say anything. 
   “Yes- your mine bitch” Pansy lets out a maniacal laugh as she points at Draco who looked more weirded out then scared “I’ll play since Theo is, what about you Y/n?” Blaise questioned. You shrug your shoulders “Sure, i’m always down to try things once”
   Pansy’s face lights up “Thank you babes. Now who goes first?” she asked. Blaise lifted his wand nd tapped the empty Butterbeer bottle, causing it to levitate “Pansy, spin it” he says. She shrugs and reaches over your shoulder to spin the bottle. 
   it took a couple seconds before it landed on the Slytherin prince himself. Draco scoffed, rolling his eyes “Fuck my life” he muttered as Pansy gave him a sickenly sweet smile “Draco, truth or dare prick” she said, keeping her wide smile. Draco looked like he was weighing his options in his mind. 
   “Truth”
   “What house did you want to be in when you were ten?” She asked. What a weird question. Draco’s face darkened s if he had seen a boggart, before he scowled “You fucking bitch” he seethed making you snicker a bit as well as Theo. “Say it~” she says in a sing song voice. 
   “Fine!” he shouts and takes a deep breath, crossing his arms like an angry child “I wanted to be in Gryffindor, like Harry Potter” the room was silent for a moment as you all stared at him blankly “Loser” Pansy laughs and he throws his arms in the air. 
   “I hate you”
   “Okay cool it Gryffindor” BLaise interjected, making all of you snicker. Draco narrowed his eyes at his mate “Your laughing now Zabini, just wait until i get you and your fucked” he threatens, but Blaise doesn’t have an reaction “Right...good luck with that”
   Draco spins the bottle and you all watch as it spins around for a couple seconds until it stops on the one and only Blaise Zabini “Well shit” he says with a deadpan look. Pansy gasped and covered her mouth “I can’t believe dad just cursed in front of us” she mutters to you, making you smile. 
   “Truth or dare Zabini?” Draco asked, a evil smirk on his face. Sometimes you forgot you were surrounded by Slytherin’s and your friends were assholes. “Dare since i’m not a pussy unlike my fellow housemates” Blaise grins, making Draco shake his head. 
   “Tell Theo you love him...in front of us”
   now Blaise wasn’t one for PDA and neither was Theo, probably one of the reasons they fit so well together. Draco was a dick for this one “I choose truth” he said instantly. You look at Theo who’s half smile turned into a grin. What was he planning? His face drops to a frown and he looks at Blaise.
   “You don’t love me?” he asked, his lip quivering a bit. What in the? All of you looked at Theo as Blaise stared at his boyfriend in shock “What?! No of course i do!” Blaise protests, but Theo doesn’t break from his character “Then say it” he persits. 
   all of you were stunned into silence, even loud mouth Pansy. Blaise looked like he was going to breakdown, which was an interesting look on his face actually “I- uh- what? I-” ne sputters, not knowing how to answer. Theo looks down at his lap “It’s fine i get it” he replies.
   he starts to sniffle, to make Blaise think he was crying which seemed to push - him over the edge. He grabs Theo’s face and makes him look at him “Oh my- i love you Theo. I’m in love with you. What has gotten into you?” he asked rapidly. Theo finally breaks and gives him a tired smile. 
   “I love you too. Who’s next?” he says, breaking away from Blaise who looked like he just went through all five stages of grief and is deciding to go through it all a second time. “Damn- that's tough” Pansy says, breaking the tension “Fuck you” Blaise snaps instantly making you all go wide eyed.
   you guys needed a dad swear jar
   Blaise huffs and spins the bottle, his usual smile with bad intentions coming back to his face once it lands on Pansy, who just sighs, mumbling some curses under her breath “Pans, truth or dare?” he asked. Pansy eyed him with a glare before smiling “Dare” she says. 
   you knew it was a bad idea
   “I dare you to make out with Y/n” he said casually, causing you to choke on your butterbeer “Excuse me!?” you interject “I didn’t laugh at you!” he shrugs his shoulders “Your just collateral damage Y/n, very sorry” he says. but you knew he wasn’t.
   “This is bullshit” you mutter, though the thought was making your heartbeat against your chest. Pansy shrugs nonchalantly before using her hand to tilt your head up so you were looking t the ceiling. This way she could reach you since she was sat behind you.
   Pansy leans down and plants her lips onto yours, leaving you shocked. You lose your grip of your butterbeer, causing it to fall, but Theo catches it. Pansy Parkinson was kissing you, the girl you fell in love with. This wasn’t a teasing touch or flirty comment. It was the real thing.
   and you loved it
   you reach up to put your hand on the nape of her neck to pull her in for  deeper kiss, feeling her grin against your lips. As you both got more heated the boys slowly left the room, leaving you two alone to do whatever the hell really. Good thing too, because it was only going to go further. 
   Pany’s free hand reaches up to wrap round your neck, not squeezing, but just gripping firmly to keep you in place. Fuck. Her tongue ran along your bottom lip and you opened your mouth slightly for her to slip her tongue in and connect it with yours.
   you always forget she has tongue ring
   it was nice to latch onto, hearing Pansy moan into your mouth was an added plus as well. You guessed Pansy was fed up with the current position because she pulled away and pushed you roughly back onto the bed, pulling your legs so you were closer to her.
   she leaned down, hovering over you “I should probably tell you i’m in love with you before anything else happens” hse spoke, a wide smile spreading across her face “Why?” you asked. “because- answer the question Y/n, do you love me too?” she spoke, you could tell she was getting anxious. 
   “Of course i love you. I have for a long time” you say, matching her smile “You're telling me i could have been kissing you like this sooner?” she asked with a small pout. You reach up and loop your arms around her neck “Then let’s not waste anymore time then huh?”
   Pansy grins before kissing you again. 
    ☼-☪-☼
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    ☼-☪-☼
   Kody: How come every Pansy fic i write so far is just really horny? Anyways, i haven’t slept yet and peace!
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luvelyhs · 4 years ago
Text
In the end, we can only save ourselves
harry and y/n are in an open relationship
i’ve been wanting to write this concept for a while cuz i love reading about it so hope you enjoy :)
warning: angst ofc what else do you expect from me 😅
i’m def writing a part two so stay tuned for that :))))
—————
The fresh red marks littered his neck, they showed someone else had claimed him for themself, had marked her husband with their lips. It was a disgusting thought, and Y/N had to turn away before she quite literally threw up.
“Want some coffee?” Y/N shook her head.
“I’m fine.” He didn’t notice anything, fuck, when did he ever? Y/N was getting sick of it, his obliviousness to her tense and off behavior. Y/N thought communication was key, but sometimes she feels afraid of the future, of what could happen if she voices her feelings and thoughts, of saying she wants to end their open relationship. He’d leave her. She knew it.
“Mmkay.” He turned the coffee maker on, and the only sound in the room was the noise it made. Neither Harry nor Y/N were speaking.
She had to leave because she kept taking looks at him, at his neck. Did he even know what that made her feel? Any semblance of feeling? Did he have any respect for her anymore? It would be respectful to not showcase the work of another on his body, open for her to see, in their own fucking home. It was ridiculous, and suddenly the hurt was replaced with anger.
“Have fun last night?” Y/N’s voice was ice cold, something no one could miss, especially not Harry. He glanced up at her over his phone.
“Yeah, ‘t was fun.” He nodded, eyes moving back down to his phone. Great, now he couldn’t even look at her while they were having a conversation.
“I could see. Quite literally.” Harry looked at her in confusion, while Y/N rolled her eyes at his obliviousness.
“All over your fucking neck, Harry. At least hide that shit next time, will you?” Y/N grabbed her laptop from the island table, backing up her chair, making it squeak against the wooden floor.
“Shit, ‘m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know.” Y/N scoffed at his guilty tone while she was exiting the kitchen. Y/N didn’t know how much longer she could put up with this. She never wanted this fucking open relationship in the first place. All she wanted was to make him happy, and now she’s so disappointed in herself for lowering herself in that way for a man. Even Harry wasn’t worth it, the man she had loved with her whole entire being and entire soul. Because he’s not who he used to be, and it makes her feel more empty than anything else.
“Be a little more considerate next time, yeah?” She called back over her shoulder, walking to their backyard to get some sun and do some work.
She looked behind to see if Harry was following and couldn’t help but feel a little hurt when he didn’t. The old him would have followed her around like a puppy to see her smile and be happy with him again. This was another example of how much their relationship had changed, for the worse.
Y/N opened her laptop and started looking over a manuscript for her job. It had been an hour or so when she got an incoming Facetime call from her friend back home.
See, Y/N had basically uprooted her life for Harry. She had a good job back home, with her family and friends surrounding her, but she let herself get windswept by Harry and his charm and charisma. He had done everything to sweep her off her feet, even though she didn’t want to be with him in the first place.
He succeeded, eventually, hence why she was in London in their home, where he wanted to settle down, not her. London was cloudy and gray, she wanted the bright sun and blue sky. But she had to follow him, because what the star wants, the star gets.
Don’t get her wrong, Harry and Y/N were so happy during their one and a half year of dating and three years of marriage. They were perfectly happy, she had been enough for him during this time, until six months ago he started becoming distant, wouldn’t come home until late at night and would text her to not wait up for him, he didn’t even know if he would be coming home at all, and that irritated her yet also hurt, because he was growing distant and whenever she tried to initiate conversation about it, he would deflect.
It wasn’t until one evening he broke, started saying how he felt trapped.
“I jus’- we’re good, Y/N, so good. But don’t you think tha’s just not enough? I- I saw someone at the club tonight. I wanted to get her number, I wanted to approach her, and almost did when Mitch stopped me, pulled me back, said I had a lovely wife waiting at home for me.” Y/N hadn’t believed her ears. Her initial thought was- ‘he could go to fucking hell’, but she didn’t want to lose him, she didn’t. Because she loved him. So.. she brought it up. When she shouldn’t have. She should have taken it back as soon as she said it, but she can’t turn back time.
“You wanted to fuck her? That’s what you want to do? Throw a whole 4 year relationship away because you wanted to fuck a pretty girl? Go ahead, Harry. Do what you want.” Harry had approached her, looking at her warily.
“You’re not saying, you want to end us?” Y/N heard fear in his words. He was scared of the end of them, but it wasn’t enough. But in the heat of the moment she shook her head, when she should have said yes.
“No. No.. I.. we can try an... open relationship?” Y/N forced the words out of her mouth, wincing slightly when she saw the bright look on his face. And this is where she was proud of herself for a moment, because she had made him happy again.
“Really? Are you sure?” Y/N nodded, again, forcefully.
“Yeah, sure.” She nodded her head, fake smiling when Harry approached her and granted kisses all over her face, before pulling her into a deep one and showing her how happy she made him with lots of loving through the whole night.
It stopped him being distant for a bit. He would tell her where he was going and with who. She’d tell him to have fun and to be safe, wear protection. He said of course he would. They’d meet for a quick peck, then he was out for the night.
He thought she had nights where she went out too, but she didn’t. And she wasn’t about to tell him that. She had pride, she had suggested it, now she had to deal with the consequences. She couldn’t bring herself to sleep with another person, it was disgusting. All she could have thought about was Harry, and she had months to think about this, about how someone you’re married to would be okay sleeping with another person... it wasn’t okay at all, not for her. She always thought if her significant other wanted to do that, she’d end the relationship, because if she wasn’t enough for him, what was the point of being married?
She had given Harry the benefit of the doubt for a few months, wanted to see if he would end the open relationship himself, but no. He became more bold, this wasn’t the first time he came home with hickeys all over his body. But she had been quiet then, she wouldn’t be anymore.
Y/N quickly answered Anna’s call, greeted by the brunette beauty on her screen.
The excitement on Anna’s face made Y/N miss her more.. made her all the more homesick. She wanted to see this face in person, and it had been a year since she had.
“Y/N!!” Anna screamed, excitedly. Y/N grinned, happy to see her best friend again.
“Anna! I miss you!” She squealed, sitting up a bit to set the laptop on her lap.
“How’ve you been, baby cakes? Still kicking ass at work?”
“I’ve been good... just living life. Of course I have been! Getting promoted soon, just know it.” Y/N smiled, because she genuinely loved her job. She worked at a publishing house and read over new stories, and she loved it because it pulled her into another universe, one where she didn’t think about Harry and reality.
“Still madly in love with your hot hubby?” Anna giggled, clearly teasing, but usually when Y/N would laugh bubbly along with her, she sat silent.
“Y/N? Everything alright?” Anna frowned.
“Umm.. yeah.. just-“ Y/N tried to stop it, she tried, really she did. But the first tear slipped past her defenses then another and then more.
“I don’t know what to do, Anna, I don’t.” Y/N sobbed into her hands, breaking down once Anna asked that question. Everything she had been holding in, was being let out.
“What’s wrong, honey? What happened?” Anna said gently, coaxing Y/N to open up and tell her what happened.
“Don’t- don’t judge, okay? I know I said I’d never let this happen, but, but I dunno. I don’t know.”
“Let it out, Y/N.”
“Harry and I.. are in an open relationship.” Y/N looked up at Anna’s concerned face, nodding for her to continue.
“I’m not judging, baby cakes, do you mind telling me a bit of context? How did you get into the situation, huh?” Anna remembered a conversation they had about their future partners. The topic was cheating and Y/N had said if her partner ever slept with another, it was over. She was a little possessive over her boyfriends, not overtly so, but enough to be so jealous if they were to do anything with someone in front of her or flirt and she didn’t think she could ever handle them sleeping with someone else, and Y/N was so in love with Harry, everyone could see it, so how did she get herself in that situation?
“Uh-“ Y/N sniffed, wiping some tears from her face with her hoodie sleeve. “He waa distant and he said he wanted to hookup with someone one night so I just suggested it. He wanted to do it and it made him happy so I agreed too. I haven’t slept with anyone, I can’t, Anna. I don’t know how he does it.”
“Oh, honey.. I think it’s time you came back to us. Take a break from him and gloomy London. Think things over back home.” Y/N knew she needed to get away, and Anna’s words reinforced that thought.
“Alright.. umm.. i’ll book a flight right now.” Anna gave Y/N a sympathetic smile.
The topic switched to Anna’s life and questions about what’s happening back home, all while Y/N booked a flight back to her local airport for two days from now.
It was a one way ticket, she didn’t know when she would be back. Or if she would be back.
The confirmation email sent to her phone and it pinged to let her know it was there.
“Got it! I can’t wait to surprise my mom.”
“So excited for you to get here, baby cakes. Ugh-“ Y/N could hear kids yelling in the background. “gotta go, Ben just spilled juice all over Bran.” Anna rolled her eyes, blowing her best friend a kiss goodbye and then ending the call.
Y/N sat back against the lawn chair, staring at the pool and pretty garden and trees in her backyard.
A warm hand on her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts, making her jump slightly.
“Harry! You scared me!”
“You alright, bubba?” His tone was serious and concerned, looking down at her with his gently green eyes that forced her to say what she’s been wanting to say for a while, but she held herself back.
“‘course, do I not look alright, Harry?”
“You’ve just been a little, I dunno, tense.. recently.” He chose his words carefully, not wanting to upset his bubba.
“Tense?” Y/N let out a short laugh, staring back out at the blue pool water:
“Talk to me, darling, c’mon.” He stroked her arm, coming around to stand in front of her before dropping low, now she was looking down at him.
“I’m not tense, Harry. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You were crying, Y/N. I can see the tears stains and red eyes. Why were you crying?” A dreadful feeling took over him.
“Why am I crying? Why am I crying? It’s because of you, Harry! I’m crying cause of you! You’re not worth my tears, not anymore. Not when I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Her tone became more soft at the end, a broken whisper at the realization.
“Darling..” He cupped her face, a frown marring his features. “What did I do, hm? This about the hickeys? It won’t happen again, bubba.” His tone was gentle for her.
“It’s more than that. It’s about the whole thing. I can’t keep doing this.. this open relationship anymore, Harry. It’s hurting me, it’s been hurting me. You never noticed, that’s the thing Harry.” Harry gulped, the words slicing a knife through him.
“I thought you were okay with it, Y/N? You brought it up in the first place.”
“Because you would have cheated on me if I didn’t. At least with this I know you’re out with others. Not behind my back.”
“You think that lowly of me, pet? That I would cheat on you? Never, darling, never.”
“You yourself said you wanted to hookup with that woman from the club a few months ago, remember that, Harry? If I’m not enough for you anymore, just tell me. Because I will end this marriage if you don’t.”
“What? Y/N! You’re everything I ever need, baby. Well end this open relationship, you’re the only one for me. I promise.” Y/N shook her head, because the respect for herself was building, and this was step one to recovery. At this point, she knew she had to do this, to save herself from the inner turmoil, the disrespect she had granted on herself for letting this happen. It’s taken a toll on her mental health, and she had to this.
“No, Harry. What we’re ending is our marriage. If I was ever enough for you, you wouldn’t have wanted to be with anyone besides me. I’m leaving in two days. Leave me alone until then.” With that, she pushed Harry away from his kneeling position, and walked back into their house. It hurt to say the words, it hurt to make what she was dreading a reality. Harry stared brokenly at her, not knowing what to do to fix this, fix them, fix her.
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