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fivekrystalpetals · 2 years ago

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@longagoitwastuesday (I think you and @jacksintention are the same person, your writing seems similar; jic I am tagging both of you)

ahfhghikl thank you so much for all your comments on my meandering rambling post! honestly I dunno how I got from point A to point B without losing track of what I was meaning to say in the first place lol but it all came together in the end so :D

I totally understand you not agreeing 100% with me (and you don't have to! as long as you are being nice to me about our difference in opinions, I don't have a problem!) and I am glad, despite this, you could enjoy the rest of it! If I have to take a wild guess, it must be about Jack where our views differ, and while I am very curious about your thoughts, i would like to hear them after i finish my lacie post bc i wanna write about her (and Jack) from my own first impressions of the story.

Part 2: Ah I understand being frustrated seeing the fandom jumping from one opinion to another with every chapter update (that's the problem with a serially updating manga, with tons of plot twist) and i can't speak for myself what i might have done had i been reading this serially as well. reading this altogether helped me form a more solid opinion about overall events happening in the series. Although I have to confess while reading Past Arc, I saw Oswald more as a victim of circumstances (as in, I sympathized with his depressed state at the time and I solely blamed Jack for taking advantage of his friend like that) but later reading on into the last Arc, I started to hold him responsible for a major part in the Tragedy as well as I explained in that essay.

Part 3 +

hmm, it's interesting to me that you feel that way from my writing. I won't say I like him (um, no, I don't think I like him as much as many other characters in the story. In fact, I like Lacie way way more than him) but yeah, I did pity him in the beginning when I thought he was struggling with last minute measures so the world won't come to an end bc of Jack's recklessness. I think the moment I started to.... dislike (i am so conflicted where exactly i stand on the love/hate scale for him) him was when he decided that killing Lacie was the only way to prevent the Tragedy of Sablier. That's just victim blaming at its finest. He already cast Lacie into the Abyss and killed her once. Now, he wants to drag her out out of it and kill her once again? for what? making one (1) friend in her whole life? please.

so yeah, I don't really think I like him, but I did try my best to keep my personal opinions out of this essay and keep it neutral (mostly) so maybe, that's the reason you feel like i like him.

Other than that, thank you for your words: "Even today, I'd say it's perhaps not super extended to find such a nuanced criticism of his character."

"suffering hero to Jack's villain" -> for me, this is not Oswald, but Oz. Oz (and even both Alices) is the ever suffering hero to Jack's villain. Oz never wanted to kill or hurt anybody; he agreed to become a chain for Jack for White Alice's sake. But then, he was forced to commit mass murders and even had to witness his dear Alice commit suicide right before his eyes. Like, it's all so, so, heartbreaking for a doll that got a spark of life and just wanted to do good for his two girls. Even later, when he was in Jack's body, he had to stand by and watch Jack hurt his friends until he, spurred on by Oscar's words, managed to take control of Jack's body. So, if you see Oswald and Jack, I hold his negligence partly responsible for the way Jack turned out. But Oz is a victim through and through.

Part 4: Yes, I agree with all of what you say here! Oswald had the power to end the cycle of trauma by stopping Lacie's execution (if you see Retrace 91/92, he even attacks one of the Juries there. He could have done that at his Succession Ceremony if the Jury tried to intervene in his decision or take away his title of Glen. Moreover, as I understand, there is only one Jury for one story and they are no big fighters or anything.) but in spite of having all the powers of the Abyss, he lacked the strong will to take a huge, game-changing decision and that turned out to be his undoing.

About Alice:

ahhh I am not sure if it is an artistic choice to give Oswald and Alice just enough interactions for us readers to realize that they had been on good terms once,, yet I find it super interesting that Alice has no other memories of him while she has tons of Jack. Like Jack taught her to dance, braid her hair, taught her to play the piano too (I think?) and I don't know whether that memory of Jack and Alice near Lacie's grave and listening to her music is real or manipulated, for Alice iirc was never let out of the castle. so where does that memory come from? Is it Alice's wish that she imagines to be real? On the other hand, White Alice and Glen seem to have had some small interactions after all, bc if you remember Break's teatime with her down in the Abyss, she does mention Glen telling her about chains and stuff and claims to hate him as well. again, with the context of Retrace 76/77, I don't know if I can trust those memories either because her own were already shredded and lost at the point.

And, I was not quite sure the reason she hated Glen anyway. Like, I have seen many different reasons floating around, from her knowing in some way that Glen cast her mother into the Abyss that the other Alice doesn't—to Glen not letting her talk to Jack (?) (uh, I am not sure what this exactly means, but I remember her saying the same to Break as well, I guess it's bc of her broken memories she remembers like that),, it's all very confusing—but.... I think your reason makes the most sense to me. Because, if Glen kept her caged in and didn't let her go out and that's the reason she hated him, then yeah, it makes a lot more sense, why Jack was easily able to sway her to his side with the promise of taking her to the Rose Gardens of Vessalius House.

But, on the whole, yes, I do believe Oswald dropped visiting Alices after Jack took charge of them. Because, artistic choice or not, in such a painful event as Alice witnessing her uncle getting beheaded right in front of her, she must fondly remember and regret all those other memories as well, right? but she still has flashbacks to just that one scene.... so take it as you will.

About Black Alice, it's sad if you think about it. She really loved her uncle, okay? yeah, she might be an idiot for being ok with remaining in a cage among other things, but i think of her as more of a lovable idiot. She loves everything and everyone around her without noticing faults in them. She is that impressionable and good-natured child. She even names her favorite doll after Oswald! In fact, (once again) it's Levi that realizes how Alice likes Oswald the best (and interesting how Levi does spend a lot of time with Alice up until his death in spite of her being a product of his experiments. he has his moments, i guess? lol. and idk if he ever told her that he was her dad. does Oswald know this? or, did he tell only Jack? I mean, like obviously after seeing Alice, Oswald must have realized Lacie had been pregnant when he cast her into the Abyss but does he know Levi is the dad? He might have assumed it's Jack or someone else? idk)

okay, I am rambling now but what I mean to say is Alice really did love her uncle. But Oswald was so drowned by his sorrow and regrets that he didn't open his eyes to what he could still protect, instead spent his days dwelling on what he couldn't. In the end, Alice took her own life.... and, in more than one way, Oswald failed Lacie all over once again. I know for sure, Lacie loved her kids bc she went all the way down into the Abyss to request 'her' to take care of them when they are born and hoped the plush dolls could be friends with them. So yeah. He just keeps hurting her again and again.

ahjfjshgj thank you so much!! about Lacie, I have tons to write about her but i think I hurt my hand a bit, so i am taking a little break from writing so both those essays will have to wait :(( i meant to write an analysis about Lacie separate and about Jack/Lacie (and both topics have soooo much to write idek where to start lol, but i will figure that out. rn, I must worry about my fingers more so yeah a break from fanfics and writing in general is necessary (cuz i can't avoid irl work anw :((( )

and actuaaaaally, I wanna write about Levi too. In spite of his few appearances in the story, I feel like I might have tons to write about him if I reread the series. Such as, he is the sole Plot Starter Flint for the Entire series: it's his experiment that led to the creation of the Will of the Abyss; the only standalone (sorta) arc—Head Hunter's Arc— happened bc of Humpty-Dumpty, the chain that was formed from Levi's body. He has the most fuck-around-and-have-fun energy of all characters, and yet, I think, I think, it might be controversial for this fandom, but I think he is deeper than what comes across. Especially, his expressions in the last few chapters did not.... seem of a person having fun with all this. although he did keep repeating that he was having fun and that's all that matters to him but.... unreliable narrator much? idk. i still hate to the core what he did to Lacie but i wanna know what made him so warped in the first place.

Finally, part 5:

Warning to anyone who likes Reim!!!! please, please, please don't proceed any further. You have been warned. If you read on, it's at your own risk!!! if you get upset by my views don't come @ me. If Reim is your favorite character, stop here, press the back button, leave this page.

I have never written an analysis on Reim, but if you mean this post, then yeah i did rant about him. I didn't delete it, just took it off the main tag bc it was attracting Unnecessary Attention from the fandom.

(also please don't reblog the linked post, I didn't delete it but I don't want it to attract attention again)

My Opinions on him largely differs from the general Fandom Opinion from what I have seen. To put it simply, his character annoys me. Whatever I wrote in that post, I still stand by—two points as the tip of Iceberg Of My Opinions on him:

1] He didn't trust Break enough to reveal the nature of his Chain to him

2] I am sorry but I can never get behind his excuse for shooting a child as this:

He didn't even try to simply disarm/render her unconscious (like Break did for Zwei); no, he shot her. In the head. With full intent to kill. A child who was chatting merrily with him. A child who told him everything about the Baskervilles. A child who had wholeheartedly accepted him as her friend. In fact, the build up in the panels leading up to his shooting is… ominous, to say the least. Then he closes his eyes and tells himself that he is doing the Right Thing bc, ofc, he is The Good Guy. Nah, I can only see his selfishness here: he wanted to do something Useful for once, bc he is always called weak and useless. He wanted to go back to his people, inform them Baskervilles are here, but "oh, I took care of one of them all by myself." He (and the whole Pandora, for that matter) has this Black and White worldview: Baskervilles: Black: Bad and Pandora: White: Good. In spite of Lily telling him everything about herself, he still doesn't make the slightest attempt to change his view of them. At least, Break didn't have that kind of prejudice; he did "talk" to Lottie as he would to any other 'human enemy'—in the end, he even apologizes for being a jerk to her... and then goes on to being a jerk again lmao

Point no. 1 is..... I don't have words about how much I hate him for withholding such vital information. From Break. Break, of all people, who he knows is always looking out for him, thinks of him as his only friend, might engage in a fight for his sake etc. And then, says shit like this:

What. is. wrong. Xerx. what's. with. that. sad. face. While reading this chapter fresh, I uttered Shut Up at the same time as Break, you know. That's why I believe he was also, for once, really pissed off Reim didn't share something this important. Break would have died. Like D I E D if best boy Gil didn't arrive on the scene on time. Please. Why you look so sad. Go die in a ditch somewhere.

And, I loved Fang, okay? He might be a minor character and all, one that the fandom most likely doesn't care about but... I loved him, for all the small things that were shown to us, he was one of a kind of an honorable gentleman and a true warrior. He genuinely politely talks to his enemies—he even said he was honored to cross blades with a strong fighter like Break. He didn't want to use his chain bc he wanted to fight Break (who was using Mad Hatter anyway) one-on-one like.... what a strong warrior code! Fang died because of Reim, only and only because of him. Not only bc of all what I wrote here, but also—like what was Reim even trying to do by distracting Lily in the heat of the battle? trying to get her killed? Break was poised to kill her and she lets down her guard bc of Reim, that's why Fang couldn't even block his sword.

You know, what's sadder, Lily had no intention to kill him even if he shot her in the head with full intention to kill. See:

Yeah, the only reason he appeared 'dead' to Fang was bc he put himself in hibernation. Had Break known of this, he would have rushed to check on Reim's wounds first, instead of immediately giving him up for dead and jumping in to revenge him.

Eventually Break succumbed to his injuries from this very battle, because, you see:

Break has always passed out bc of his Chain (and he won't die from it) but he was unparalleled in his sword skills. Fang got an advantage on him bc of his underground attacks with his chain. This is the first time Break got injured. The first time Break got injured. With things moving so fast after this, his injury never heals properly; while in captivity, Vincent reopens that wound and finally, Break succumbs to it. I read a couple of meta about how time was never Break's ally that's why his time runs out,,, but I maintain he died bc someone he considered a friend didn't reciprocate his sentiment enough to trust him with vital information and that's what cost him his life in the end. and then, you wonder why he always wants to be a one-man army.

This is just the tip of Iceberg of My Opinions on him. Retrace 93 must be why he is so upheld as a beacon of diplomacy or something in this fandom but sorry to say, my views differ. I think people overlook Lottie's role there. Not everyone might agree with me, and might still credit Reim for doing something that Break already set in motion and Lottie brought to the finish line. All of his "bullet points" were nothing that couldn't have happened 40 chapters ago had he not blindly clung onto his prejudice. And, finally, happens in Retrace 93 with Reim and Lily becoming friends at the cost of one life on either side. Isn't it ironic that this 'friendship' that started off on the wrong foot thwarted the other that was actively pursued by both sides? the things that might have changed if Fang never died? Lottie might even have helped them in some way while Break, Sharon and Shirley were imprisoned. other than this, it might be bc I am already annoyed enough by him but I dislike his overall attitude toward Lily in this chapter. (annnnd if it is true, he proposed to Sharon within a year of Break's death..... well. idk if I can take it canon or it's just a non-canon sidenovel thingie buuut it rubs me in the wrong way for... reasons. or, maybe it's just me. i take those kind of things seriously)

Anyway, jic what you meant by Opinion on Reim was not this, and something in the lines of Good/Nice/Different/What a lovable character he is, isn't he? ^^

then let's just pretend you didn't read any of this and:

But in case, you wanna read more of My Opinions on him, I will have another 50-page rant ready lol; I can never possibly physically sit down and write a neutral unbiased analysis on him. No, I feel so strongly about him that I will always end up ranting. I might even attempt a neutral analysis on Levi, of all people, some day; can't on Reim. Sigh.

either way, i'd rather spend my time writing about characters i love than wasting my time thinking about those i don't. sooo, chances are I won't write anything more about him anyway; but yeah, to put it shortly, I don't have much of an opinion on him.

#may-answers #thanks for all your comments!! it was super fun to read through them!! <3 <3 #i tried to be as coherent in my reply as i could but this is still a bit all over the place ;_; i hope you get this #whatever i am trying to say lol

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starkidwriting · 2 years ago

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Unknown Road Ahead

Chapter 3

A/n: Hi there! Thanks for reading this. I am so sorry for being late on this! I was busy with other fanfiction and trying to find a job. As well, I know Lego Monkie Kid Season 4 is out. I love it, but i haven't seen all of it. So anything in S4 most likely won't be in this fiction (At least not until i have seen it all). I hope you enjoy it! Sorry for the spelling and grammar errors.

(Y/n) walked into a grand hall, all she could see was Queen Xiwangmu on her throne by her was her sleeping tiger. Besides, the Queen stood Lao Tzu. Both look disappointed and disheartened.

"My Queen," (Y/n) said as she bowed her head.

"Please raise your head, (y/n)." Queen Xiwangmu spoke, "(Y/n), you had the task of overlooking the immortal peaches. From what others have heard and seen. You did more than that." As the maiden looked at the Queen, she could see the sorrow in her eyes. The Queen had known (Y/n) for so long, and her faithfulness to her. She trusted her more than her other color maidens. Now, seeing (Y/n) here, to give judgment from her.

It was too much for both.

Lao Tzu spoke, "yes, every celestial spirit said you were keeping an eye on that sun Wukong. But it seems it was a waste of time! He had done so much damage to the celestial realm!" (Y/n) head flinched as he began to exclaim the mistake she had made.

The Queen's gaze at him, causing him to continue more calmly, "seeing the damage he had ruined and the people he harmed. The Queen had trusted you, and you failed her." The maiden felt a sting in her heart as Lao Tzu spoke.

"Not because of the monkey, but committing the crime of eating the immortal peach with Wukong." He said as she bit her lip. Her eyes widen in dread as her thoughts race, 'who witnessed them that night?'

Lao Tzu motioned towards the door, and it opened. Out comes one of your sisters in tears. "I'm sorry, (Y/n). I knew you were with Wukong. I said nothing because I trusted you and your decision, but you changed so much. And then I saw you were with him and ate the fruit." She hiccuped, "(Y/n) you've crossed a line."

Lau Tzu exclaimed, "How could you do that? Was that the true reason why you kept visiting him?" The Queen stared at Lau Tzu because of his tone. "Lau Tzu, calm down."

(Y/n) stood still, uncertain how to explain her reason. She took a deep breath as she spoke, "I have no excuse for my actions in seeing Sun Wukong. But eating the peach was not my motivation." She looked at the Queen as she continued.

"It started as a concern for the garden, but as I continued to visit Wukong. I developed emotions and yearned to be with him." (Y/n) face fell to the ground in sorrow at her mistake.

" Wukong had made a promise to me when we ate the fruit to be by my side." (Y/n) bit the inside of her lip as Lao Tzu grunted before speaking, "How could you permit your feelings to take over during a crucial time! And look at where you are now! He disappeared, leaving you alone."

(Y/n) dropped to her knees as a flood of tears poured down her cheeks. "I apologize, my Queen. I know there's nothing I can do to earn your mercy."

Before Lau Tzu could continue, the Queen raised her hand, quieting the man. The Queen walked to the heartbroken maiden and kneeled before she gently took her hands, "(Y/n), I have known you for so long and relayed on you and your sisters. You had never failed me when it came to orders and responsibilities." She continues, " I can see you had your heart broken by Wukong. I do not blame you for his actions at the festival."

Her face soon showed sadness as she went on. "But part taking in eating the immortal peach has its consequences." She held (Y/n)'s hand a bit tighter. (Y/n) bite her inner lip, and she understood what she had done was unforgivable. Nothing she could say would help her. The Queen slowly let go of her hand and stood up.

Lau Tzu cleared his voice before speaking,

"(Y/n), the (f/c) immortal peach maid, for the offense of eating the immortal peach. You are exiled from the celestial realm."

(Y/n)'s eyes wanted to cry, but there were no more tears. She knew what she did was indefensible, believing in Sun Wukong. As the maiden rose from the floor, a loud slam erupted. Everyone turned to see it was, Nezha entering the room, huffing, out of breath.

"Please don't punish (Y/n)!" He said, but it was already too late. Lau Tzu said, "It's already been decided. I advise you, third lotus princes, to leave immediately before you also get in trouble with her."

"But (Y/n) has done nothing wrong! It was all that Monkey !" He said as he stood beside (Y/n), whose head was looking at the floor. "That's not why I'm here, Nezha… I ate an immortal peach…" She took a deep breath as she continued. "That's why I'm here." She slowly turned it on him. Nezha didn't want to believe it, that his friend would risk everything to be with 'HIM'! It felt like a stab in the back, but he didn't want her to go.

The room was silent for a few seconds before The Queen said lamentably, "It's time."

Nezha looked at her, confused about what she meant. But the (f/c) maiden knew what she meant, (Y/n) tried to stand tall even as she felt her hands trembling. "What do you mean?" Nezha asked. The doors opened, and a few servants and guards came in. The servants drew on the ground a ring with writing and symbols.

"(Y/n) the (f/c) maiden. You'll be heading to the mortal realm." Queen Xiwangmu said as the ring started to glow with golden light and the wind began to blow forcefully. (Y/n) looked at the now-made portal before she walked toward it. Nezha tried to prevent her from stepping in, but guards jumped in front of him. The (f/c) maiden stares at the ring before stepping into it, accepting her fate. Just as she stepped into the ring, Nezha cried, "(Y/n)!!" as she disappeared from the celestial realm.

The former peach maiden felt her surroundings transform as she closed her eyes and held her breath. It was only for a moment before everything settle down, and (Y/n) soon opened her eyes. She looked around to find herself in a grassy meadow with trees and a road nearby.

She was now truly alone.

It felt like she was the only being in the world as she collected her thoughts. (Y/n) quickly noticed her attire felt different, looking down and saw it had turned to mortal garments to blend in.

"… Now what…" She said quietly to herself. She walked to a tree nearby and sat down. "What do I do…" she whispered as she felt her eyes, become heavy with fatigue. (Y/n) felt emotionally drained from the day's events. Soon her fatigue made her fall asleep.

~Back with Nezha~

In the celestial realm, Nezha was dismayed. He saw his cherished friend vanish in front of him,"(Y/n)!" He shoved the servants holding him back. Rushing towards the ring, or what remained. "Where did she go!" He demanded as he fell to his knees. "She is now somewhere in the mortal plane." Lau Tzu said. It was quiet for a moment before a voice broke the silence.

"Everyone leave the room. I want to speak to Nezha alone." Queen Xiwangnu ordered, making Lau Tzu and everyone else leave till it was just Queen Xiwangmu and Nezha.

Nezha tried to hold in his tear as best he could, but one ran down his cheeks. Queen Xiwangmu walked toward the teary prince, "Nezha. It was a difficult decision, but it had to be done." She took a deep breath before continuing, "If you still wish to see (Y/n). It would be best to search for her privately." She said as she lifted her hand, opening another ring.

Nezha looked at her, confused, "But why would you help me?" He asked her. "I need to know if she made it there, safe and sound." The Queen expressed worried for (Y/n). Nezha nodded his head as he entered the ring to the mortal plane.

Nezha covered his eyes from the blinding lights as he felt his surroundings shift. Soon he felt everything around him settle down. He opened his eyes and looked around, seeing a sunset near the mountains and forests surrounding him."(Y/n), please be safe." He whispered as he used his fire wheels to speed around the area in hopes of finding (Y/n).

~Back with (Y/n)~

While in a different part of the mortal realm, "My dear, are you okay?" A voice spoke to the sleeping maiden. "Uh.. Wukong?" (Y/n) thought as she heard a familiar voice, but she opened her eyes to see two figures beside her.

An elderly couple.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said as she stood up and brushed off the dirt from her clothing. "I thought you were someone else." The elderly woman smiled, "No need to worry, my dear. It seems you were so weary. We just wanted to see if you were alright." She said as the elderly man nodded in agreement.

"That's right. Now tell me, young lady, why are you out here alone? It's nearly dark, and it's best to go home." He said, 'Home…' (Y/n) went deep in thought as she realized she didn't have a home. Not anymore. (Y/n) didn't notice her expression became empty.

"Do you have a place to stay?" He asked curiously. The maiden soon realized where she was and shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't. Not anymore." She somberly said as she looked down, her expression turned sorrowful.

"Well, we have a room open if you want to stay for the night." The elderly lady offered her. "Oh no, I couldn't-" she was interrupted by her. "Please, I insist. It would be better than staying out here."

(Y/n) knew she was right. It might have been her first time in the human realm, but she knew demons tend to roam around. "Well, If it's alright, then just for one night." She said quietly, making the couple smile as she followed the elderly couple into a small village.

"My dear, I almost forgot to ask, what is your name?" She asked the former peach maiden. (Y/n) stopped for a moment as she was unsure, if she should give her full name. "My name is (F/n)." She answered as they reached the elderly couple's home.

"Well, (F/n), you are welcome to stay here as long as you need." She smiled as she invited (Y/n) inside. "Thank you, ma'am." The maiden said, as she was in awe at how cozy their home felt, and she was at peace for a moment. "Ma'am, I would love to be helpful while I stay in your home for the moment. Please allow me to assist you in any way necessary." That night (Y/n) offered to help make dinner.

As she slept in a small room, she looked out the window at the bright moon and shining stars, feeling her heart becoming heavy. Her thought wandered to Sun Wukong and his promise. "To think this is how I see this beautiful world in my saddest moments." She said before she fell asleep.

Little did she know back in the Celestial realms, (Y/n)'s actions would soon be revealed to other deities. Her other sisters would also be aware of her actions and become hurt the most, not understanding why she would choose Sun Wukong over them. The news would later spread as a wildfire in the mortal realm.

~ Next day~

(Y/n) was awakened by the morning rays. Remembering where she was, she cleaned up the room. As she finished, she went outside to see the area, "it was very different from the night." She thought as she took in her new surroundings. The sun made the land look more lively with colorful flowers and people.

"And it's very different from the celestial realm…" She said as she recalled her home and her sisters. "They'll never forgive me…" She thought as she sat on a hill near the elderly couple's home. She took this moment to think about what she should do next and where she should go.

Until a powerful blow of wind blew over her, making (Y/n) use her arms to shield her face from the small debris. "(Y/n)!" A voice cried out as she looked up to find someone looming over her.

It was Nezha.

He was breathing heavily as he saw (Y/n) safe. "You're safe! I thought something happened." He said as he dropped to the floor to embrace her. "Nezha!? What are you doing?" She said, becoming concerned that he got in trouble because of her. "If someone sees you with me, you'll get in trouble! Don't tell you did get in trouble!" She panicked, but Nezha shooked his head.

"No, I'm not in any trouble." He said as he let go of her. He was happy to see his friend wasn't in danger in the mortal realm, but his face became a scowl. He went silent for a moment as he looked at (Y/n), who was concerned. Nezha bit his lip before asking her.

"Why?" Nezha eyes met (Y/n)'s eyes. "Why did you do it?" He said, doing his best not to sound furious but failing as he gripped his staff. (Y/n) became scared to tell him. She took a deep breath, sitting down on the ground, holding her knees. " Because I… I fell in love with him." She said as she looked away from him.

Nezha's eyes widen in disbelief, "That's why?! I told you he was trouble, and now you are here because of him!" He said, appearing to be more furious at Wukong than you.

"It was dumb, I know… Is this why you came to find me?" (Y/n) asked Nezha. "No, that's not the reason I came to find you. I need to know if you're okay." He sighed as he saw his friend. She was feeling guilt and remorse for choosing someone who had left her. Nezha sat down next to her, as she did her best not to be emotional.

'Maybe it was too harsh to confront her about it.' He thought as they both sat in silence and only the wind blowing and birds chirping filled the area with sound.

"I'm sorry… (Y/n)." He spoke up, causing (Y/n) to turn to him. "I didn't mean to yell. I just didn't want you to be involved with Wukong." He continued, rubbing his temple. "What did you even see in the menace?" (Y/n) gave a small giggle, " He was interesting, fun and kind, even though he was a bit annoying when we met. Wukong always found a way to make me smile," She said, as she recalled the times they were together. "I was happy with him." A tear escaped her eye as she gave a weak smile to the lotus princes.

"Did you want to be him? Even if it meant not being with your sisters," he paused for a moment before continuing, "or with me?" Nezha asked as he turned away, still hurt about her decision to be with Wukong. (Y/n) saw him trying to hide his frustration, but it didn't work, " Nezha… I never meant it like that." She said as she hugged Nezha, holding him tightly, surprising the lotus prince. "I foolishly followed my heart. If I could, I would take it back…"

"I'm sorry." (Y/n) felt him embracing her back, holding her tightly. They held on to each other as if the other would disappear if they let go.

"Oh, Nezha. We better let before anyone notices you're gone for too long. They'll get suspicious." (Y/n) said as she let go. He agreed as he composed himself. "Your right. I'll be on my way," he said as they both got up.

"I will come back to make sure you are safe." He stated, "It also may be wise to go unnoticed by mortals. For your safety, (Y/n)." He said before giving her one final embrace, and then a pink flame enfolded him, returning him to the Celestial realm. (Y/n) sighed before heading back to the elderly couple's home, mentally preparing for her new unknown life in the mortal realm.

Words: 2,715

#lmk x reader #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid x reader #lmk sun wukong x reader #lmk nezha #lmk sun wukong #starkidwritings

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callofthxvoid · 4 months ago

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WHO: Zarina Knightley and Quill Harker

SUMMARY: After his conversation with Karma, Quill talks to a different blonde from his past. AKA: Zarina has an entire conversation in Arabic with a former customer.

Speaking with Karma had overall gone about as well as could be expected. Though QUILL had spotted another blonde he had wanted to speak with. Taking a seat next to her, he set his hands in his lap idly drumming his thumbs against his own hands. "You know I never took you for the maternal type," he said in Arabic, it was a lot smoother than when they were in college, "I do have to thank you for the suggestion, we did in fact gain many clients from that side of the world over the years." While she'd been an easy access for party drugs for his friends, he'd also found her opinions and suggestions tended to almost always be correct. Errors were usually on the listening parties fault rather than on her judgement even. "To be frank I was more surprised to see you're still alive. Though I do feel a little foolish having underestimated you like that."

Just because ZARINA was busy holding baby Jasmine did not mean that she was not paying attention to her surroundings. She had clocked Quill coming to sit next to her long before he actually did. As usual, seeing someone from her past appear in Huntsville was wholly unwelcome, but it was simply another thing she would have to handle. "I'm not," she replied, also in Arabic. It was effortless, as if she had been speaking the language every single day; even though it had, in fact, been almost two years since she had used it regularly. She adjusted Jasmine in her arms before looking over at him. "Your Arabic has improved significantly. It has no effect on my life personally, but I can appreciate when someone makes the correct decision to take my advice." She glanced back down at the baby in her arms. "By that, I assume you are referencing the fate of my parents. I do not blame you for your conclusions. It means only that the staging worked as intended."

QUILL was looking at the baby in her arms, an image he still found a bit difficult to wrap his head around. Then again it been almost two years, and he was now stuck in a town that he couldn't leave, the world was a strange place. He hummed before nodding his head, "I wouldn't say I mourned you but I did think it was unfortunate to lose someone of your capabilities. You left quite the vacancy, I had to find about 4 different sources for what you provided. The quality left much to be desired." His eyes flickered to the baby again when she started babbling giving a small wave with his fingers when she looked at him. "Speaking of, your role as a pharmacist is purely above board here I take it?"

A small, nearly imperceptible smile tugged at ZARINA's lips in response, but she kept her eyes on the baby. "Unfortunately, not everyone can be me," she replied coolly, despite the protective instinct she immediately felt when Jasmine squawked happily and waved back at him. It was one thing to have a former customer and acquaintance approach her. It was an entirely different thing to get her godchildren involved. She looked back up at him. "And yes, my role as a pharmacist is purely above board. I am, as you likely already know, married to a doctor." She paused. "You are unlikely to find the selection and quality you are accustomed to here in town. However, it would be prudent of you to befriend the younger crowd at the commune. Any product worth having tends to make its way there eventually."

QUILL huffed a laugh and shook his head, "Unfortunately," he agreed. He didn't know the full details of the family she's been linked to, had never searched for them. It was better for both their sakes really, it made the relationship they had in college a more favorable one. He let out a sigh, "I assumed as much, now to find 4 new sources to replace you again," there was a half hearted grin at the quip. If he's honest marriage is less surprising, he'd consider it once for them considering a partnership would have had benefits for both of them, there would have been no real love between them but that was a luxury he highly doubted he'd have ever had to begin with. "He's handsome, not a bad choice for someone to link yourself with in this town," he mused out loud giving her a brief nod at the suggestion, making a mental note to do so after the event.

ZARINA gave him a brief nod back. She had offered him the suggestion to be helpful, just as she had offered him genuinely good advice in the past; and just like back then, she had her own reasons for doing it. Not everything that she said or did had ulterior motives. But when speaking to people like Quill? It was rare that it didn't. "He is handsome," she agreed, readjusting her hold on baby Jasmine. "He is also intelligent, capable, and efficient, but that is not why I married him. I married him out of love." She returned her gaze to Quill. "I am glad to see that the years have not dulled your conversational skills. This has, as always, been an enlightening exchange. But I am done speaking to you now."

QUILL had felt someone's gaze on them and turned seeing the man in question, turning back to Zarina with raised brows, for a second he briefly wondered if she was making another joke. More than surprised by the sincerity of her tone, and making a vague noise of agreement. For most people finding out she was capable of something like that might have been reassuring, for him it just made him more hyperaware to be mindful of where their conversations went and what lines now existed compared to their prior lives. "Understood, enjoy the festivities, like you said this was enlightening," he agreed standing back up and not the least bit offended by being dismissed. It was something he'd always appreciated the directness, giving her a brief nod and waving once more to the small baby before taking his leave.

#interactions: zarina #zarina: quill #event: lake party #zarina: lake party

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knightyoomyoui · 2 years ago

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Jihyo x F Reader- “Rewind”

Before I start, I want to reiterate the announcement I made regarding this one-shot in case any of you haven't saw yet. This one may also be read by male readers (but only if you want to), especially the climax itself because of a very important detail that I'm about to reveal there. So, if you're a male reader reading this right now then good for you because you won't be missing this one but brace yourself for what's about to happen. You might be asking why I couldn't just make it into both Male and Female reader featured? Nope. This one is primarily about Jihyo and... just find out why I wanted male readers to read this as well. Lastly, this one is inspired by one of my favorite episodes from one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe shows, "What If...? EPISODE 4 - What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead Of His Hands?", so yeah, this fanfic is going to be weird, tragic (?) and mindblowing; I'm just hoping that my writing does justice, so please understand as I'm doing my best to pull this one off... again. Have fun reading! 😉

"The power of the time... in the palm of my hands."

Jihyo gazes admiringly at the work of art in front of her. A wide grin, a face splashed with many flashing lights from the astonishing invention shown next to her, and sparkling eyes, not from the lights but from the achievement she gained after going so far to make this happen.

Two years was worth it.

Now, the history is about to welcome another remarkable change thanks to the very successful and renowned scientist Park Jihyo.

The creator of the Project Rewind, with its sole purpose is to have Jihyo attempt erasing something impossible out of the book.

And specifically speaking, it's none other than the concept of time travelling.

"This is incredible feat of evolution, Miss Park. You're going down in history because of this.", her lab partner and fellow scientist; apparently in the lower level than her named Lisa compliments her game-changing mentor.

"Indeed I am.", Jihyo said before her beaming smile flickered into shutting its brightness off.

"...but I'm not concerned of any of that.", she looked at Lisa who captured her eyes in response.

"In fact, I didn't care about the acknowledgement and appreciation I'll be getting once this gets released in the public.", Jihyo sighed.

"Then what inspired you to build this?", Lisa curiously inquired.

Jihyo released another huge puff of breath to the air before grabbing her IPhone laying down on the cold steel long table.

She opened it, and the very first thing her eyes catched was the image of a person she holds dearly in her heart no one could outlimit that.

She gulped, opening her home screen and poking the app that directed her to the message list. The first one that was left unread was not like that no more as she decided to peek the content of it.

"Jihyo-ssi! See you there at my wedding okay? xoxo" Sent

Jihyo stared at it for a few seconds, her heart clenching at what she had just done, not only because she hadn't given it a thought, but because she had acted on the decision formed in her mind just days after receiving the invitation from her friend with whom she had secretly developed a deep loving fondness. "I wasn't going to show up at the lab today, Lisa, not even you." "Wait, Miss Park?" Jihyo handed her phone to Lisa so she could look at it. She just wants to cut the explanation short since it would pain her so much if it would last longer.

Lisa glanced back at Jihyo with a mixed of confusion and disbelief.

"You're... invited on her wedding?"

Jihyo only nodded.

"And you didn't came?"

Jihyo lowered her head in guilt.

"I can't, even if I want to."

"Why?"

"She's my love and life, and I... couldn't simply stand seeing her exchange vows with someone that wasn't me."

Lisa frowned at that information. She immediately felt pity for her friend and mentor now that she knew that whenever she enters this place and meets her again everyday to assist her on completing this project, she wasn't okay at all which she was hiding it at all time for them to keep their attention still on the construction of the machine.

"I know she won't like what I did, but for once I wanted to be selfish. Mind more than heart."

Jihyo fixated her eyes back at her time machine, confidence and motivated oozing from her aura as the image of the reason behind the making of the plan she was constructing appeared inside her head.

"And now... all I can think of to escape this reality I'm facing into is through this."

Jihyo pulls out the remote in her pocket and presented it to Lisa.

"What are you implying at, Jihyo-ssi?"

"With this time machine, I could use this to go back to that day where I could've repeat again the mistake I've done.

It's been more than half a decade, and I still wonder what it would look like if I- if I confessed to her on that day," Jihyo said, recalling the precise circumstances that culminated in her unsuccessful effort to confess her love back to YN." "Maybe I could have heard what she'll going to answer, and if she reciprocated... perhaps I was there at the altar, placing the wedding ring on her finger and kissing her to be my wife." "I should've gone all in," Jihyo said as a tear spilled from her eye, her breathing going rough and her chest becoming heavy. Lisa approached her mentor and softly caressed her back to console the distraught woman.

"It's okay, Jihyo-ssi. You don't have to worry about that now, because the solution you're looking for is right here.", Lisa referred to the invention in her sight.

"Does this mean you're going back to that time and try to rewrite what happened?"

"Yeah."

"Oh...", Lisa understood; yet the uneasiness that crawls up in her skin prompted her to ask this again for clarification.

"Not that I'm taking this whole plan of yours differently, Jihyo-ssi but... do you think it'll work?"

Jihyo's head went back and forth, left and right as she switches her gaze to Lisa and the time machine, thinking about the possibility that might occur.

However, those initially ended up for her to not get affected by any of it.

"Only one way to find out."

Jihyo walked through the metal podium and stood in the middle of it. Lisa hurriedly came closer to the unbothered scientist and a blend of nervousness and scared developed within her.

"Be safe, okay? Make sure to return back here.", Lisa reminded.

Jihyo bobbed her head in response. "See you in a minute.", she smirked. A tensed smile in return from Lisa. She watched Jihyo quite hesitatingly pressed the button in her hand as she stared at it.

"Let my love be known for you, YN."

Jihyo huffed in the air then dug the surface of her thumb at the button before the blue laser from the top struck her head first until she was covered up and vanished away from the light.

(BACK TO THE PAST - 6 YEARS AGO)

Few seconds after, the light returned and disappeared only to leave Jihyo out in a very familiar place that became a part of her memory she hugely regretted the most.

Her entire outfit changed from a scientist to a casual one also, the same attire she used to wore at that given night.

A gloomy environment, albeit visible thanks to the moonlight and stars illuminating the route down a Seoul street. Jihyo's eyes widened as she realized she had been transported back inside the identical car she had used at the time, with the windows pulled down, waiting for her presence to emerge. Side glancing outside, she saw the past variant of her love interest and bestfriend YN leave her house wearing a baby blue blouse, a pair of shoes, and a neat ponytail tie. Jihyo cannot believe what she is having right now. Repeating the moment she was eager for it to be rewritten and mended has finally provided her with an opportunity to make it real.

Down to the every exact detail and just like when this once happened, YN flashed her shy and soft smile seeing Jihyo looking very cool peeking in the window of her car.

"Evening, cool girl.", YN greeted her with that candy so sweet voice.

"Good evening. You look so great tonight, huh.", Jihyo traced her crush's outfit and as always, it didn't fail to have her attracted strongly into the young woman.

"You too. You're just as awesome as what your car is.", she patted the roof before opening the door and enters inside.

"So, where to at?"

"You'll see.", Jihyo looked at YN through the rearview mirror before kicking off the engine to start driving away ahead of their destination.

"Don't screw it up this time..." Jihyo kept on muttering to herself.

While driving, they paused for a while on a road where the streetlight blinked at green light.

Waiting patiently, Jihyo sneakily looked once again at the undoubtedly attractive woman behind her, sitting comfortably while scrolling down on her phone.

She was lost in a trance until YN woke her back up with a sudden question, raising her sight away from the phone thus making Jihyo return her gaze back at the road where the bypassers are still crossing down.

"You've never taken me to go outside with keeping a secret on what shall we going to do, Ji.", YN playfully told her. "Cmon, is this too special for me to know already?"

"We're almost there, YN. I can't give it to you yet, sorry. Just wait for a little more okay?", Jihyo apologetically said and grinned at YN who is visibly pouting now from the reflection of her in the mirror.

Jihyo felt like her heartbeat skipped when she caught that adorable action that she always loves to see from YN whenever they're together. She missed it a lot, she thought.

"You better make sure this is huge, Ji. The way you hype it gets me really engaged to learn what is it gonna be all about.", YN unsincerely cautioned the driver.

"This is just gonna be our night together, YN. Ofc-"

They are only 10km away from the mall when in an unexpected circumstances, their car got rammed over by a truck heading from another way. It didn't allow Jihyo to completely speak in response.

It collided first on the side where YN is located.

The shattered car rolled and flew through the road from the impact until it stopped, leaving it upside down with all the parts left unforgiven as it completely destroyed due to the crash.

Nevertheless, even in her condition of shock and distress, Jihyo slowly opened her eyes and quickly realized that YN was responding, eyes closed and head bleeding critically.

"W-what... no....", Jihyo murmured as she tried to touch YN again, hoping for a hint of recovery.

She didn't received any, which made her breath heavily to control her tears from bursting out.

"Oh my god, N-no... this can't be happening."

Jihyo pulls out the controller in her pocket again and clicked the button still set on the specific date, restarting everything what happened again.

(BACK TO THE PAST - 6 YEARS AGO) / TAKE 2

Light engulfed her and everything, it worked as she was once again sitting relaxingly on the drivers seat, peeking out on the window as she watches YN slowly walk towards her after exiting the house.

"Evening, cool girl."

"Good evening. You look so great tonight, huh.", Jihyo smiled after greeting her back and also by putting a slight blush over the cheeks of lovely YN.

Minutes later, they were in the middle of the ride when right at the moment that Jihyo took a turn to enter a bridge, she horrifyingly observed that the brakes doesn't cooperate with her.

"Damn it! WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING!", she angrily push and pulled the handle which gained attention from YN herself.

"Jihyo, what's going on?"

"Th-this brake... it won't allow me to-"

And her sentence again got cutted off when they reached the end the bridge that's suppose to provide a turn that will led onto another uphill only for them to unable driving on to it.

Sibce the brake doesn't work, YN and Jihyo both shouted helplessly as the car crashed and smashed onto the railing, diving down through through high cliff and come crashing down along the ground.

Jihyo opened her eyes slowly and once again, she saw YN unconscious and pulse not beating along with a rapidly bleeding head causing her to panic and get afraid.

"No... NO NOT AGAIN!"

Instead of pushing the button to restart the scenario again, she returned back to the present time; changing her clothes once again to her laboratory outfit and meeting Lisa again who was busily writing a report on her desk.

The poor girl got startled when Jihyo quickly arrived back and kneeled on the floor.

She stood up and rushed towards the weakened scientist.

"What happened? Did it work?"

"I-I don't know what did I encountered, Lisa.", Jihyo remained her face hidden from her lowered head. "I haven't got to confess to her yet."

"What happened? Is there something that's stopping you?"

"Yeah!", Jihyo looked back at Lisa with a stressed expression. "The memory is still fresh on me and I'm not mistaken that I only haven't got to confess to her because I decided not to.

B-but... I-I don't know what we just faced earlier became very different. We got into a car accident instead. One was us getting crashed to a truck and the other was us falling on the cliff."

"Then s-she... she both died on those.", Jihyo ran her fingers across the length of her bob cut black hair with watery eyes and a increased heat temperature of her breaths.

"Huh?"

"I don't know, Lisa. It seems like, it doesn't allow me to make it happen." Jihyo shrugged and shook her head.

"What are you going to do now, then? Shall we consider this project-"

"NO! I-....", Jihyo exhaled multiple times before proceeding to continue her words.

"I have to try again. I'll try not to come across into a mess again."

Lisa only nodded to support her mentor but the worries are starting to fill up inside of her, including a thought that this mission of Jihyo could be classified as dangerous.

Jihyo stood up and pressed again the button, returning her back to the past.

(BACK TO THE PAST - 6 YEARS AGO) / TAKE 3

Same car. Same night. Same location. Same love of her life capturing her heart.

"Evening, cool girl."

"G-good evening. You look great tonight."

"Thanks, you too."

She closed the door and sat behind Jihyo who is hoping so bad nothing would screw up her chance this time...

While Jihyo was driving, YN sensed something wrong as she watched the outside of Seoul they're passing through became unfamiliar to her.

"Ji, what road is this? I've never been here before."

"U-uhh... we're just taking another route, Y/NN. Hang on, we're going there okay?", Jihyo assured YN who looked troubled and confused at the same time.

They were about to exit that turn but once again, for the third time... they got involved in another car crash when a lightpost collpased just right in front of a truck that was rolling down on the way too.

It made the driver to zigzag his direction as he tried to recover the balanced control of his driving but it didn't worked as he and your car collided together.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!", Jihyo frantically raged as she saw YN's unresponsive state after the impact.

Pressing the button for the fourth time... fifth time... sixth time and so on until she stopped at the tenth attempt, all of these only resulted negatively for her.

As expected, she encountered other various alternate causes to her unsuccessful confession for YN.

For example, on the 5th try; Jihyo and YN got into an accident which she got placed in a coma and forgot her memories with YN who still died.

6th try, Jihyo received an unlucky emergency when YN's father got stroke.

7th try, YN getting kidnapped by unidentified men right when they are about to left YN's house.

8th try, YN immediately shared that her future wife confessed her feelings to her and she accepted.

9th try, YN suffered from a heart attack.

And in 10th try... all of these scenarios made Jihyo to pull out one last attempt and that is when she never showed up instead on that night only for the consequences though that it will still allow the future wife of Jihyo to confess to her first than her.

Returning back to the present, she got all fours on the floor and sobbed hardly as she banged her fist on the floor weakily.

"Jihyo! What happened now?!", Lisa ran through her and matched the same level as hers to easily access a comforting hug to her.

"Lisa..."

"What is it, Jihyo-ssi?"

"Why... why are these happening to us? A-aren't we allowed to be happy?", Jihyo's messed up mind speaking up to her. Lisa doesn't know what to answer as she has clearly no idea also why is Jihyo all unsuccessful on those several repeats she executed.

That is... until an idea showed up in her head. She knows this won't be too pleasant for Jihyo to know but she has no other choice but to inform this to her, probably might help and raise awareness for the poor secret admirer.

"Jihyo-ssi... it's not that I'm going against with you here but, do you think that this is still worth to continue?"

"Where are you going with this, Lisa?", Jihyo furrowed her eyebrows, teeth gritting in anger.

"H-hear me out first okay?", Lisa tried to calm down the supposedly offended Jihyo. "W-what if... what if the reasons why even after you try to repeat and change the mistake you've done on that night, it won't allow you in different ways or so is because...

... Jihyo, I'm afraid that YN not ending up with you can be considered as an absolute point of time. Meaning, it is a constant one in this world and you can't do anything about it because it only states that... the scenario cannot be changed.", Lisa explained her speculations about everything that has been going on to Jihyo.

Jihyo only chuckled, much to Lisa getting weirded out of the latter. Spreading herself apart from the empathic friend, she looked at her in a ridiculuous manner.

"No...", Jihyo sighed, shaking her head. "You told me... you told me everything is possible, Lisa and what do you think I'm trying to do here? Huh? Am I not trying to prove it?"

"Jihyo..."

"No! You don't understand!", Jihyo objected, charging at Lisa as she grasped both her shoulders and wiggled her body aggressively.

Looking intently at Lisa who was left speechless, realizing how crazy she must've been looking because of this problem never wanting to leave her alone for years; she slid her hands to Lisa's arms and buried her face shedding tears on the younger's shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. I may not know what could've felt like having that heartbreak being a burden for so long on you, but I just want help with everything I can. For my friend. For you, Jihyo.", Lisa caressed the back of Jihyo.

"This is a different thing, Ji. We don't even know if it can create a side effect and I just want you to be aware of the danger. Don't you even notice that not only you who's hurting here but also her? You're harming her also, Ji... might as well disturbing her past life that should've been put aside and moved on already in this present time."

"Jihyo, without that moment... you won't be stepping here in this laboratory, having me as your friend and lab partner while me having you as my mentor who is a well-knowned inventor and scientist to this field we took.

And most importantly...

... you won't be making her happy, even if it costs... without having you as her source of it."

Jihyo nodded her head and slowed down the sounds of her crying and heaving chest from pouring out all the emotions she's been keeping inside of her, in combination of everything she's been through for the past 6 years.

She lets go from Lisa, wiping out her tears. "I... I understand, Lisa....

but...

... this is what I want to do, and I've gone so far to obtain this remaining opportunity that I have with me.", Lisa tilted her head and frowned in dismay as Jihyo made her final decision opposite to what she's expecting.

"I appreciate you sticking for my side as always, Lisa... and please, despite of me choosing this; I just want to ask for your support on this one like we usually do for each other.", Jihyo requested, pursing her lower lip and presented her glimmering puppy eyes on her apprentice,

Lisa slumped her shoulders, tightlipped, shutting her eyes and escaped a warm sigh before nodding her head in response. "Don't say I didn't warned you about this."

"I do."

Jihyo and Lisa exchanged a trusting gestures at one another before Jihyo took another try, pressing the button to teleport herself again into a different time, location and setting for a repeat she can't even count from all the fingers in her hands on how many she took a time travelling.

She monitored YN approaching her who's inside the car, but... Jihyo's forehead crumpled and eyebrows knitted in complete disordered perspective when she began observing something... strange.

YN stopped her tracks, only inches away from her peeking out of the window.

She watched YN looking around the neighborhood, her eyes even contacted at the spot where Jihyo is but she just swiftly lured her sight away at the unknown.

"YN?", Jihyo called her name but left no reply from the latter.

YN looked at the time from her wristwatch and sighed. "That little brat. She pranked me again."

Jihyo's confusion grew larger, assuming that YN doesn't see her at all when in fact, their gap is very narrow for them to reach theirselves.

"YN? YN?! HEY, I'M HERE!", Jihyo kept shouting at YN, hoping that atleast her presence will be felt and seen but to no avail.

"W-what's going on...", Jihyo panickedly cupped both her head and rubbed her hair on the sides as she's trying to process what kind of phenomenon is blocking her once again from confessing her feelings to Jihyo.

As she tried to reach and touch YN by expanding her arm to her, YN instead began walking away from her; supposedly returning back inside her house with a dissatisfied and annoyed feeling on her for not seeing any traces of YN in front of her residence.

"YN! DON'T GO!", Jihyo opened the door to hop out and try chasing the oblivious YN when all of a sudden the land they're stepping in began crumbling and wind hitting them strongly, causing them both to become alarmed and terrified at the instant earthquake intensified right at the moment.

Jihyo leaned at the car to gain support from her stance as she felt dizzy from the vibration and impact of the shaking ground while YN crashed on her knees, unable to maintain her balance.

"YN!"

She tried to help her friend, attempting to run her feet straight through her until the skies began switching colors from a dull grey and black into a bright blue and yellow, with the manner having it perceived as if everything is glitching around them.

The land splits into two, tearing both of them away from each other. Jihyo watched the ground began to float as well the what it looked like underneath her, which is nothing but also a glitching appearance of their entire background.

"J-JIHYO?!", Jihyo heard someone called her name, who's none other than YN staring at her in a dreadful expression.

She got somehow relieved that YN can finally see but how could she forgot how bad of a timing it occured as now they're witnessing each other and the entire world around them shattering into pieces.

Speculating that the warnings Jihyo received from Lisa ended up becoming true, now that she's about to experience what must've felt like having the whole reality she's seeing got slowly destroyed all because of her.

"YN!", Jihyo returned the name calling.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!

"I DON'T KNOW EITHER BUT STAY THERE, OKAY?!", Jihyo yelled at YN who followed her instructions.

Jihyo reaches for the time controller on the passenger's seat and hurriedly pressed the button to restart everything again.

It failed.

She pressed again.

No good.

She went into a rage spamming on the button in sync with the repeated cursing and pleading under her breath that it'll work.

It didn't.

Jihyo screamed in terror as she realized that the glitching and disturbed reality seems like it's shrinking carefully and it made her jump onto the conclusion that she believe they will end up being crushed by it.

"No... no, this can't be. I- I DIDN'T MEANT FOR ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN!", JIhyo panic-stricken, grabbing YN's attention even more.

"I JUST WANTED TO BE WITH HER!!!", waterfall of tears pouring out from her cheeks as she screamed in anguish at the weird skies above her.

"JIHYO, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!", Jihyo turned her head towards YN who looks very pitiful in her condition being all alone and terrified of the disaster she's about to accept.

As much as she want to do something, she can't. Lisa won't be able to save her since she's in a different period of time so the only solution she has in her was the controller... but it became unresponsive, leaving Jihyo facing the unknown.

A couple of inches remaining in distance from each of them, the unwell and shifting reality enveloped them altogether. Jihyo and YN's discomfort and horrible demeanor reached it's breaking point as the only thing they can do is to keep screaming in utter horror and desperate for help.

"NO.... NO... YN!", the walls of the reality pushed them, causing the measurement of the space between each other to lessen.

"JIHYO!!!", the pieces of the land they're stepping in finally compressed, and without any hesitation they immediately hugged together for one last time.

"NO... DON'T TAKE HER AWAYYYY!"

And then, Jihyo's begging screams echoed before everything disappears.

Jihyo opened her eyes, feeling nothing but herself floating at... nothing. All she can see it null and void. Black being the only existent color she can see around her.

No signs of YN, it urged her to got hit by a massive realization that not only she failed...but it left a complete destruction and extinction of the world she's living in, including the very important and special person in her whole life: YN.

She did prevented her to end up with her wife, but it costs her not letting her able to live the life she preferred to rather share happiness and love with.

She went for the worst instead for the better.

She lost everything.

She lost YN.

To pay for the sins she caused, it truly is deserving for her to be left all along in such a blank space. Leave her to die, she thought.

"No...no.... no.... I'm so sorry, YN...", Jihyo began crying hard again as she covered her face with both of her palms.

An unknown length of time she spent floating in mid-air of nothing, she unconsciously stared at nowhere with a blank and colorless expression in her face.

Her unbotheredness was broken when suddenly, a familiar voice speaks out from her behind.

"I assumed you learnt your lesson then.", Jihyo used her remaining force within her to turn herself around and face the owner of that voice.

It was Lisa, but her entire appearence looks very unnatural, ethereal and heavenly...

... because this ain't the same student and aspiring scientist Lisa Manoban she knew from before.

Instead, the Lisa floating in front of her now whilst wearing a white elegant and alluring dress exposing her well-built curvy figure is the god-like counterpart of the Lisa she's close with.

"L-Lisa?", Jihyo's face somewhat brightened as she recognized the unearthly woman talking to her.

"Jihyo-ssi.", Lisa smiled timidly.

"Y-you're alive... b-but why are y-"

"I may be the same as your bestfriend but also... I'm not.", Lisa clarified. "Your Lisa is now dead, and I'm honestly sad to know that my version is now gone too soon."

"V-version?"

"So... now you, more than everyone else finally understand that meddling with time and reality would only result in chaos and destruction.", Lisa avoided Jihyo's confusion, saving the reveal later.

Jihyo frowned in guilt, knowing that's exactly what she should remember from now on, yet the only question is... for what? She doesn't have anything to do here. She's trapped in this prison she made for herself.

"As much as I want to help you, I cannot interfere. It's your destiny not to involved in a romantic relationship with YN, because you and her are only limited from crossing that boundary."

"I knew everything what you did and I have to admit... you surely did messed up a lot.", Lisa sarcastically reacted.

"Breaking the sole universe of where you live in-"

"Wait, UNIVERSE?"

"Yeah, you think you only made Earth pop like a bubble?", Lisa raised her eyebrow. "No, silly. You eradicted the entire galaxy because of how stubborn and arrogant you are."

Jihyo winced at the another scolding she got. Harsh words stabbed her straight in the feels because Lisa spat all those truth like an acid to her.

"It wasn't m-my... intention, I swear.", Jihyo muttered. "I knew what I did was wrong... but I never wanted to affect others on my own deed."

"I know, and that's why I'm here."

Jihyo's curiously was piqued.

"For?"

Lisa started to floated around on Jihyo who remained motionless. "Like what I said, you destroying the entire universe by a mortal like you definitely placed a lot of heavy toll within Gods like me."

"A god of what?"

"Gods of Redemption.", Lisa declared. "We're in charge of granting every being in this planet to have second chances, only and if necessary... the scenario is too unreversable to the mortal's hands... that being, death and if that being is very sincere and willingly to make something right again.

... which led me to you, Jihyo-ssi."

"The higher ranking Gods, ofcourse they didn't took it really well. They even almost finalized that they want to have you set up through an instant punishment, banishing your existence with their combined power so that you'll suffer the same as what you did along with your universe.", Jihyo's eyes widened and gulped at how terrifying and intimidating these Gods are.

"However, through my method of convincing; lucky you were spared from the doomsday you're about to meet.", Lisa added.

"Look, I know that you didn't intended to destroy everything but I just can't help but to be a little frustrated at you.", she pointed at Jihyo who remained speechless.

"You were warned, but this crazy little thing called love couldn't set you free isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Lisa clicked her tongue irritably. "Well, we can't do anything about it. What's done is done. But... I figured a way to have you atleast serve a purpose not only for us... but for your own too."

"W-what is it?", Jihyo questioned.

"But first, are you willing to make things right everything first?"

Jihyo lowered her head and clasped her hands together to pose herself as if she's praying and begging for it. "Yes! Please. I'll do everything not to make mistakes this time."

Lisa shushed Jihyo, interrupting her pleadings. "No, scratch that part. Our life won't be complete if we don't make mistakes for us to improve further."

"Oh, yeah... s-sorry.", Jihyo apologized. "Okay, y-yes. I'll do my best to think of my actions first."

"That's better.", Lisa expressed her satisfaction. "Well, I won't be asking you anymore if you're willing to sacrifice your existence because... your universe came first before you so, are you ready to follow me?", she spreaded her arm and presented her free hand, directing it at Jihyo for her to accept.

"To where?", Jihyo innocently asked as she stared at the inviteful Lisa.

Lisa smiled before replying at the lonely scientist.

"To your new home."

Jihyo erased all the doubts she has within her, sensing that this Lisa has closely no differences with the one she used to know when it comes to their personality.

She also analyzed that she was right anyways, saving her from the combined wrath of the higher ranking Gods surely made Jihyo owe this Goddess Lisa a lot not only for her safety, but for another opportunity to have her life achieve a new and hopefully... an improved meaning and role in her life.

Jihyo gently reached for Goddess Lisa's hand and locked onto it, twirling her fingers and strengthened her hold as she watched Lisa gestured a trusting nod before they were covered in a blinding goldlish light, escaping the lifeless and ruptured universe of hers.

A few moments later, Jihyo and Lisa arrived in a place that surely does a great representation of what a paradise looks like.

Jihyo's mouth agaped, eyelids sprung upwards and face stretched in shock an surprise as she looked around at the new and most unique place she has ever seen in her entire life.

The structures, neither tall nor short are all white, a clean and refreshing air where the cotton-like fogs flowing through everywhere around on what it seems to be a town; contributing to the heavenly features of the place.

The people residing were wearing gold and white attires, only a thin cloth covering their bodies and every single one of them looks very appealing.

There's no vehicles to be seen around, since the people have the ability to fly through their angelic wings around and use it as their way of transportation around this place.

Jihyo learnt from Lisa that she was brought to this universe only occupied by the children of the Highness himself, the leader, the chief and the savior of all eternal and holy beings in this universe. "String theory... multi-dimensional reality... matter displacement, they're... they're all real?", she said to herself in awe.

They headed across the scared hall of the Holy Council, where the higher-ups has the pleasure to meet the mastermind and the sinner who is the main responsible for the destruction of one of the universe across the infinite numbers of the other universes scattered all over the galaxy.

Lisa repeated her request and pleads from the higher-up, which led from a short discussion and review of the judgment they're about to make.

Fortunately, they achieved all of their approval; and it resulted for Jihyo to be accepted and welcomed to stay in this unknown world full of gods and goddesses, only to pass a test that will be given to her first to prove if she's a worthy addition to their blessed land.

Because of that, it delivered a required new changes from Jihyo herself. She can't be a morttal anymore as she has to take her new responsibilities and duties to prove herself a worthy God Of Redemption just like Lisa.

She transformed from a devastated, lonely scientist to an almighty godly being.

She was tasked on her first ever service, and that is to guide all the 9 different multiverses assigned to her by Lisa.

Recently, her first mission was sent when she received a distress signal from one of the universes she's guarding.

She discovered that in this one, YN is a male assassin who both lost his wife and daughter in a brutal murder inside their house in the middle of the woods where they are hiding.

Jihyo watched how YN struggled in her guilt, longing and grief of losing all of his loved ones... until she decided to appear and offered him a chance of help after she made her research learning that in another universe, his wife... who was the same person her original YN married together with.

Her name is Sana and both of them lost theirselves in a tragic scenario, which on the other hand Sana lost YN in an unexpected car accident.

The first time she saw the assassin counterpart YN, she tried to keep her composure steady to not let out a different reaction of seeing another version of her beloved YN and stay still on being dedicated to her new embraced role as a God Of Redemption.

It pained Jihyo a lot, ofcourse. Secretly watching the huge grin and overload of sadness and longing he felt when he got to meet Sana again for the second time made her somehow wish she could experience the same and stand in Sana's position.

Seeing that she will never have a chance to make YN fall in love with her even at every different universes along with the mistake she had done was an effective hard slap for her to woke up in the reality this time.

Her feelings for YN still remains in her heart, sometimes she uses it to secretly admire her male counterpart whenever he's asleep every night on the new universe Jihyo teleported him.

But on one night, she came to visit YN with another agenda.

She squatted beside the male YN's sleeping figure on the bed and traced his facial features even this version couldn't fail to make Jihyo go head over heels too and showcase the bisexuality effects on her.

Combing his hair with gentle stroke from the gaps of her slender, shining fingers, Jihyo smiled bitterly at the look of YN sleeping peacefully.

"You're still attractingly handsome even if you're a man.", she whispered, not leaving her sight away at YN.

"I promise, this time... I'll make you happy. As much as I want to be the one with you to share with, I know I can't... because you'll never be mine.", Jihyo's teardrop fell from YN's cheek.

"I'll still give it to you. You deserve and earned every special things, whether it may be big or small. Always for a wonderful person like you. That's how you meant so much to me, YN", her lips shuddered as she forces herself not to sob heavily from the hurtful heartbreak she's trying to heal and forget these days.

She placed her last kiss of acceptance for her destined fate on YN's lips before she slowly vanished away and returned from her private universe.

Jihyo successfully completed her first mission by being true to her words, making YN happy by having him reconcile with the another version of Sana.

She bid goodbye to them and headed back to her universe where she teleported right away in front of a massive and enchanted chapel being one of the main highlights of the entire town, along with the council hall where the higher-ups are slated.

Jihyo saw Lisa who's talking nicely with her other fellow guests and gods and politely excused herself to grab the attention of her friend.

"Oh, Jihyo-ssi! You made it on time!", Lisa pleasantly greeted her. "How's your very first mission?"

Jihyo blushed and smiled widely, hinting the victorious accomplishment she achieved. "They're back together now."

"Great!", Lisa clapped her hands in glee. "Congrats on completing your first mission! I'm sure the elders would be really happy to hear this such good news from you. Even better, you are now really proving that you can belong with us!"

"I am honored and overwhelmed if they confirm it.", Jihyo sweetfully smiled.

"Tsk, humble. I'm sure they will.", Lisa bounced her eyebrows as she said it confidence.

"Oh! By the way... someone wants to see you.", Lisa's face brightened up when she remembered the reminder given to her by that someone.

"Who?"

"Find it out yourself, she wants you to meet her on the balcony near the garden."

"She?"

Jihyo furrowed her eyebrows, trying to think of a possible identity of this mysterious being wanting to involve a conversation with her alone.

"What are waiting for? Go! The wedding's about to start in 10 minutes!", Lisa pushed Jihyo to hurriedly make her move her feet and ran to find this someone.

After asking courteously to some strangers around the chapel, the directions led her finally to the balcony to the garden where she saw a figure of a woman standing in her elegant and stupendous white dress in the middle of the marble railing.

Her long, curly brown hair organized with the assist of the matching white hairband is dancing with the waves of the fresh, clean air.

Jihyo can only see her alluring exposed milky, smooth skin of her back facing her until the mysterious woman rotated her body.

Jihyo couldn't react any other than to be bewildered and let her emotions arise in an instant.

It was the goddess counterpart of YN, standing from a slight distance in front of her, smiling softly at the view of the taken aback woman in her eyes.

"You finally showed up.", YN said with her usual gentle and tender voice.

"Y-YN?"

She nodded and smiled. "It's nice to see you... well technically I should say "again", Jihyo."

Jihyo stood frozen in her spot, still in disbelief that she's seeing another version of YN, in this one it looks very alike the same woman she loved for the longest time.

Not to mention, this goddess YN looks so more unbelievably beautiful.

"I knew what happened from Lisa. She told me everything.", YN began to explain, as she slowly approached the shocked Jihyo.

"You never had a chance to properly talk with me and released everything that you're carrying in your chest so... I thought of setting a perfect schedule where I could make it finally happen for you."

"I... I had to convince Sana for a while to let me allow to talk with you and gladly she did."

"So... Jihyo, anything you wanna say for me?", YN said, locking her hand altogether behind her back as she waited patiently.

Jihyo cleared her throat and closed her eyes for a few second before opening it.

"This is indeed real, she's here", she muttered.

"I-I am.", Jihyo stuttered nervously. She didn't wasted any longer time as she began saying her apology speech.

"YN... first and foremost, I just want to say sorry. For everything that I caused which led me to this.

Not that I'm sounding like I'm complaining about it, I'm just being conscious and minding still about the horrible truth behind all of these.

I... I admit that I became very desperate, selfish, arrogant, impulsive anything you want to call me that urged me to abuse my creation just to forcefully repeat that past that I regretted the most which I could never change.

From the bottom of my heart and soul, I sincerely apologize for the disturbance and misery I brought to your counterpart that I loved so deeply, YN.

But... since, all of you are just sharing the same identity of YN... I guess I could say the same thing I've been wanting to say for so long on you too."

Jihyo stepped forward, inching closer at YN who stared at her actions but freely lets the woman to proceed on doing so, understandably accepting why she has to do this.

"I love you. I love you in every universe, YN", Jihyo stared at YN's hypnotizing eyes as she swayed some strands of hairs behind the ear of YN before switching her hands to place it upon the plump cheeks of her lover.

YN sighed heavily and smiled softly at the heartwarming message of her bestfriend and admirer.

But then, Jihyo's lips shifted to a frown. "But you're not mine... and I will never be yours, because that's what our fate dictates us so."

"I learned my lesson now, and after quite some time of recovering... I have no other choice but to do the only right option.

I have to let you go and be with Sana forever and after but... rest assured that I'll do my best to live with my promise, and that is to make you happier than you'll ever be eternally.", Jihyo reached for YN's hand and carefully squeezed it.

She gave the top a peck of her kiss before patting the spot and clenched it on her hold as she released the engaged woman's hand.

"I already forgave you, Jihyo. I'm just waiting for this time to declare it to you.", YN confessed to her which broke Jihyo's watery eyes to shed a wet path of teardrops full of joy down her cheek.

"You already succeeded your redemption arc, and I have nothing more to say than to express how much I'm proud of you from correcting your mistakes and didn't brought harm from anyone this time."

"Don't worry, Jihyo. You made me happy. You made Sana happy too, including Lisa. I just hope you're feeling the same too."

"I-I am very happy too, especially for you, YN.", Jihyo confirmed, nodding her head rapidly as she smiled with her face still stained and messy due to the tears of joy she shed. "Congratulations on getting married today, by the way."

YN chuckled, wiping also her watery eyes off. "Yeah, thank you so much Jihyo. Appreciated it, really."

"I'm relieved that you can tell the same too for yourself, Jihyo.", YN nodded and beamed.

"Before we go back inside, since we knew both that things didn't ended quite well between us..."

YN presented her pinky finger at Jihyo which the latter looked at it adorably.

"Do you accept my invitation for you to join me rewind our friendship together, Jihyo-ssi?"

Without thinking twice, Jihyo hooked her own pinky finger at YN's.

"I'm in for a new beginning, YN.", she grinned.

Jihyo and YN immediately crashed their bodies for a tight, warm, caring and comfortable hug which made Jihyo unable to resist pulling back her tears to come out by how she missed having this kind of moment with YN so much.

After that, YN looked at the huge antique clocktower for the time. Realizing that they only have 3 minutes to prepare, she let's go from the embrace and both of them looked at each other.

"Let's go?"

Jihyo nodded readily.

While they're walking straight back inside the chapel, YN initiated one last short topic in assurance for them to talk about.

"How's my counterpart that you were tasked by Lisa sent from the elders?"

"All good now, YN. He's been saved."

Jihyo cheered good luck on YN, waved off at one another as they went on to their respective spots: in front of the altar and one of the chairs where all of the guests are seated.

While they're waiting for the bride to come out, a golden purse suddenly fell from Jihyo's feet.

She was about to lower down and reach it when she noticed that another hand also touched the extravagant belonging.

Jihyo looked at the person who also did the same as she caught her eyes, and she wasn't lying to herself when she mentally stated that this girl looks so beautiful.

In result, both of them just lifted off the purse together and Jihyo instantly pulled back her hand, allowing the woman to recover her property.

"S-sorry for the inconvenience...", the short black haired woman said shyly.

"It's n-nothing. I'll take it r-randomly.", Jihyo assured.

Jihyo was about to focus herself back on waiting but the out of nowhere desire to continue talking to this very interesting woman made her disregard it.

"S-sorry, I just wanna ask. How come you became one of the guests today? Are you close with the newlyweds?", Jihyo curiously asked.

"Yes. Sana's my bestfriend and I'm pretty close now with YN too."

"Oh...", Jihyo expressed her satisfication to that information.

"And you?

"I'm friends with YN.", the stranger nodded, lips formed an "o" shape.

"I haven't introduced myself yet, didn't I?", Jihyo sheepishly chuckled. "I'm Jihyo. Park Jihyo."

"I'm Jeongyeon. Yoo Jeongyeon.", the bobbed cut haired woman accepted her offer of handshake welcomely.

Unbeknownst to both of them, they finally met the right person for each other to love along with across the other multiverses where every counterparts of Jihyo and Jeongyeon were either soon to encounter each other in the middle of their paths or already living happily together no matter what happens.

And that's that!

For those male readers of mine out here who decided to still read this one-shot until the end despite the story having female readers as the protagonist just to view the plot twist at the ending, I appreciate the consideration so much.

Now yall understand why I made the male readers also read this.

Yes, this entire one-shot is a prequel from my previous work from Set 3 which is the Sana x M (Male) Reader one-shot titled "The Multiversal Redemption Arc". It was the second most voted story in Set 3 after Mina x M (Male) Reader- "Unconditionally".

This one simply explored and explained Jihyo's origin on how and what led her become to be the Almighty God Of Redemption who helped the male reader reunite with Sana back in MRA.

For my female readers, if you haven't seen MRA on Set 3, I suggest to read it so that all of you could understand what just happened and the connection of Rewind to MRA. However, it's a male reader one... so I'll leave it up to you guys if you'll still take a peek there and pretend yourselves as an ooposite gender of yourself.

I hope you guys liked the twist I did and especially, if you guys enjoyed this latest work of mine so far.

See ya! - Knight

#jihyo #twicejihyo #twicejihyoxfemalereader #twicejihyoxfreader #gxg #twicejihyooneshot #twicejihyoau #twiceau #twiceoneshot #kpopau #kpoponeshot #twice

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autumnalwalker · 2 years ago

Text

Untitled Solarpunk Witch draft, chapter 1.4

Spring, Week 4, The High Priestess

“The downside to government by consensus is that even in a village as small as Zello it can take a long time to come to a decision if the matter is contentious. Of course, the fact that the consulting subject matter expert on safely dealing with old Corp era tech was laid out in bed for the better part of a week didn’t help speed things along either. But now I was back in the discussion and had just given my argument for repurposing the drone instead of dismantling it when this guy agrees with me in the worst way possible.”

“I agree with the witch. And while we’re at it, if we’re keeping the drone, why even bother to disarm it?”

I recognize the guy that just spoke up from the excavation solution group. What’s his name? Greg, that’s it. He provided the cables and clamps. Distracted as I am with trying to remember his name and with the mass murmuring that his question just caused, I almost don’t hear him when he continues.

“I’m serious. As the wisdom of the revolutionaries of the Collapse says ‘To be peaceful is to be capable of violence and choose not to. To be incapable of violence at all is to be merely harmless.’ We’ve always valued our independence, and with the world getting more interconnected again this could be a tool to help us keep it.”

The speech sounds both excited and practiced, like he’s been just waiting for a chance to give it. I almost feel sorry for him when the majority of the crowd all starts denouncing the suggestion at once. But only almost. I’d be one of the denouncers if I weren’t mentally scrambling to come up with what to say for damage control.

“Bast(et)?”

No response. That’s right, implants are still recovering. On my own then. Okay, go through what I know and work from there. Greg’s right about Zello loving its independence; their isolation from the macro grid is a matter of choice as much as geographic logistics and the fact that they’re living in this marsh speaks volumes to their ancestors’ dedication to living away from Corp influence. And this whole region has a gun culture that goes all the way back to the pre-Corp days. At the same time, the quote’s a real one so he knows his world history as well as his local. He’d asked a lot of questions about the workings of the drone and its armaments and seemed pretty fascinated with the tech specs I was able to provide. At the time I thought it was a combination of safety precautions and a general interest in mechanics, but now…

Ah crap, he’s a Reconfiguration junkie, isn’t he? It happens. Kid grows up in peaceful times generations removed from old horrors and starts romanticizing the hard times and how exciting they must have been. Gets real into the revolutionary ideology that we owe a lot to but doesn’t have a place anymore without oppressive powers to fight against. Best case scenario they’re history nerds with a fixation on a particular time period. Worst case scenario they start inventing enemies and causes.

I look around and the crowd still hasn’t settled down. If anything, the discussion’s grown more heated and chaotic than I’ve seen in any of these Village-wide meetings so far. To my surprise, a few people have actually started backing Gretg’s proposal, or are at least advocating to hear him out more instead of shutting the idea down outright. I’m starting to get the impression that there’s some background and cultural sore spots at play here that I haven’t been privy to up until now.

I doubt anyone’s going to stop and explain to me right this moment though. I sigh. May as well make it clear to everyone else where I stand in all of this.

Take a breath to center myself. Clap my hands together once, hard enough to hurt in hopes the unexpected noise will get people’s attention. Raise my voice and hope it cuts through the din.

“May I add a few salient technical points for consideration?”

Some of the argument dies down, although the most heated pockets of debate continue on, ignoring me. Cadaval, the sun-darkened, white haired old man who’s been acting off and on as an unofficial mediator speaks up, his voice loud but steady and calm.

“You may continue.”

Now I have all eyes on me. For a moment I wonder why Cadaval didn’t speak up sooner. Everyone certainly listened when he did. No time for that now though.

“Thank you, elder,” I say, bowing my head in his direction. That might not be a title they use here, but it seems respectful enough. As I continue I keep my head inclined slightly so that the brim of my hat might hide my nerves displayed on my face. “So, three points,” I say, holding up as many fingers. “Point the first, any weapon systems on the are almost certainly damaged from its long submersion, so it’s not a question of removing them versus simply leaving them in place, but of removing them versus spending time, labor, and resources to repair them. That doesn’t mean it’s still not dangerous to have around, as the original gas leak issue demonstrates, but it does mean that it’s not useful as a weapon. And if all of you decide to go that route anyway, you’d need to find someone else to do the repairs and help you with reprogramming to make sure it doesn’t turn around and shoot you the moment you turn it on, because there’s not a witch alive who would willingly set up a weapon system like that.”

That’s technically a lie, but we don’t like to acknowledge those people as witches.

“Point the second,” I put one finger down and continue, “even once the drone is repaired it will be poorly suited to use in the marsh. The state we found it in is proof enough of that. At best you’d have it walking around patrolling the boardwalks fully armed here in Zello.” That gets more than a few uneasy looks from people. “Unless of course, you’re planning on loading it on a boat and taking it to go invade your neighbors for some reason, but I can’t imagine that’s what you had in mind.”

I notice a few people back away from Greg. “I wasn’t!” he blurts out, terror on his face. “I swear to God that’s not what I meant.”

Shit, I didn’t mean to make him look that bad. I don’t really want to contribute to turning anyone into a pariah.

“I believe you,” I reply. “I’m assuming you meant well and just got carried away. It happens. So anyway, point the third.” I put down the second finger. “The first two points were why keeping it armed is infeasible. This is why it’s a bad idea. To your point about being peaceful versus being harmless, as a number of folks here have expressed tonight, keeping some guns around for hunting and encouraging people to think twice about harassing you is one thing, but nerve gas and explosive rounds designed to splinter into shrapnel inside their target is another entirely. And I don’t know where you got the idea that connection and communication equals assimilation, but as one of those connecting outsiders I can say that’s patently false. No one’s going to come to Zello and start telling you to change your way of life so long as that way of life doesn’t entail things like normalizing murder and child abuse. But if you set up a Corp era combat drone fully armed with those kinds of weapons, that will get people asking questions and bring down the kind of attention no one wants.” I put down the last finger. Belatedly it occurs to me that I’ve made a fist to punctuate that last part that might sound like a threat.

“I… I see,” Greg says, head hung low.

Poor guy, I’m pretty sure everyone staring at the two of us right now is getting to him as much as anything I said.

“Will that be all?” Cadaval asks.

“Only a clarification that my intent from the beginning was to take the disarmed but intact drone elsewhere where it could be more effectively employed for good.”

“Very well then. Now that we’ve all had time to calm down, we’ll hear some more cases for and against disarmament before moving onto the cases in favor of full dismantlement.”

*******

After that, the rest of the arguments “for” keeping the drone armed are more hypothetical and rhetorical than serious suggestions. “What if we replaced the guns with ones that weren’t horrific overkill?” essentially. Token academic efforts of considering all possible courses of action.

As we return to the repurpose versus dismantle discussion things stay civil, but remain divided enough that it once again spills over into the next day. The big points in favor of dismantling are the justice in destroying a symbol of Corp era tyranny and violence, the potential usefulness here in Zello of some components and the trade value of those not needed, and the question of my ability to handle and repurpose the drone safely in light of the excavation accident. And it would need to be me doing the repurposing. That or call in another witch, roboticist, or hacker from outside Zello.

They’re all compelling arguments, as much as that last one hurts. Even Bast(et), discreetly texting me through my grimoire expresses her favor of dismantling and tells me that I’m letting emotion cloud my judgment. It’s rare for us to argue and the stress of that has me miss most of the last day’s proceedings.

At last though, a decision is reached. The weapons from the drone are to be removed and dismantled. What we can’t fully dismantle or melt down here they’ll take to the nearest town that has the facilities to do so. I’ll be part of that effort, but I’ll be just one member of an assigned team. A shelter where we can do this potentially delicate work while shielded from the elements is to be constructed a safe distance away from the village proper.

As for the drone itself, I’m given leave to take it with me once the disarmament is complete and tell the people in wherever I end up that it’s a gift from the people of Zello. In the end, I don’t really believe it was the speeches about symbolism of making turning an engine of destruction into a tool of peace, the arguments that the drone could do more good in the world intact than as spare parts, or even the fact that the people who had been most directly hurt by it were all in favor of keeping it. I think most of the dismantling crowd simply wanted the thing gone and sending it away with me was the fastest way to make that happen.

That’s all going to have to wait until my implants are fully regrown though. And then two days later, I get the ping in my head telling me they are.

*******

“Hey Ursula, you helping out down at the fishery today?” I stick my head out the window and call out.

She sticks her out from the tent she’s set up outside the house I’m staying in and looks up at me, shading her eyes from the morning sun. “That’s tomorrow. Today…” she goes back inside for a moment before stepping fully out into the sun carrying an easel. “I paint!” A slight pause for dramatic effect ensues until she tilts her head and asks “Why? What’s up? I’m guessing that dopey grin on your face isn’t just because you’re happy to see me.”

I laugh. “No reason it couldn’t be. But also, my implants are done regrowing!”

“That’s great! The witch’s magic is back at full power!”

“Well, almost. I’m going to need to spend the day recalibrating. If anyone comes by to see me, mind telling them to come back later for me?”

She gives a mock salute. “A day of peace and quiet for both of us. Aye aye.”

I pull my head back inside, remember one more thing, and pop back out. “Oh, and if you happen to come in and find me lying there totally unresponsive, that’s supposed to happen. Mostly. Bast(et) will let you know if there’s something wrong.”

“I promise not to paint a mustache on you.”

“That… wasn’t something I was concerned about until you just said it.”

“Ah, I’m just yanking your chain.” She starts making a shooing motion. “No go on, go get your mojo back on.”

A few minutes later and I’m sitting on the the edge of the bed hitting the last few entries on my grimoire and starting the countdown for the recalibration sequence. As I lie down flat my earlier excitement crosses the line to nervousness. I know I’ll be fine, but I’ve had to do this a few times before, mainly back when my implants were still growing along with me the first time around and it’s always a bit freaky. I feel Bast(et) nudge my shoulder with her forehead and give a comforting purr. I flick my eyes toward her, trying to keep my head still.

“Thanks for that. See you on the other side.”

A breath to center myself. Close my eyes. Less freaky when I go blind that way.

The first sign that the recalibration has started is a sense of my limbs growing heavy and numb. I fail to resist the urge to flex my fingers in protest. They don’t move of course, but that means it’s working. That numb, heavy, feeling spreads to the rest of my body and then, I cease to feel at all.

Sight’s the next to go. Even with my eyes closed I can notice a shift. A slide out of the subtle redness of light through eyelids and into a truer black. The fading of the ever-present insect buzz of the marsh outside signals hearing blocking off. I don’t notice taste and smell until sometime after they’re already gone. Nothing like it being gone to make you realize your own mouth normally has its own default background taste.

And then I’m left to float for a time. Hard to say how long. The implants are something like a second nervous system and it takes a bit for them to get back in sync with my natural one. I’m told that back in the early days of the tech they didn’t shut down the senses during initial calibration and people would get “overloaded” by the process. That reputation never fully went away; it’s part of the reason you rarely see anyone other than witches these days with extensive augmentations like this.

The bigger reason though is that they became a symbol of Corp era invasiveness and control. Hard to stage a protest or start a riot when the people in control can remotely access the AR implants you had to get to do your job and make you go blind. Or hack your shiny new legs and force you to walk home. Or track your location through the credit chip in your wrist to stage a raid on your movement’s strategy meeting.

We figured out how to defend against it and turn it back on them though. The reputation of witches putting hexes on people isn’t entirely born from folklore.

That’s always been the irony of us. The most devoted advocates of a new world returned to harmony with nature are some of the most unnatural around and among the last to let go of the old world’s tech. That’s how we get people like me though I suppose.

Why am I even here? Someone asked that during the discussions about the drone. They meant “Why is an outsider getting a say in what Zello does?” but the more fundamental version of the question has been stuck in my head ever since. By all reason, I shouldn’t have been deemed worthy of graduating and going out into the world on my own. Not and still call myself a witch anyway.

Sure, I can talk the talk and recite our philosophy and tenets all day, but when it comes to living them? I’ve always been better at connecting to machines than people. And as for the spiritual stuff, as much as I jive with it conceptually, any time I talk with another witch about it I come away with the fear that I’m just not getting it on a fundamental level the same way they are. Don’t get me wrong, I think nature is cool and beautiful and vital and should be cherished and protected, but it’s easier for me to anthropomorphize a dumb killer robot than the planet that sustains us. I’ve never felt that sense of the divine that the others talk about.

Wish I could.

Maybe it goes back to why I wanted to be a witch in the first place. I saw one when I was a kid, thought she was the coolest thing ever, and wanted to be like her. Wanting to do good and help people, that all came later. I wanted to be a superhero, not a minister.

With that kind of foundation, is it really any surprise that I suck at this? I always thought that if I could just do the one part really well - be the best there is at the tech side of things - then it would make up for my other deficiencies, but now… If I couldn’t even do this first job without hurting myself and putting everyone around me at risk, then what do I really have going for me?

On the one hand, there’s nothing else in the world I’d rather be, and I can barely even imagine life without Bast(et). On the other hand, if I’m really not suited to this, is it anything other than selfish pride to keep at it?

The witch I bonded to would never go for that kind of quitter talk. If you’re bad at something, get good.

Ah, there’s the hallucinations. I was wondering how long it would take for those to kick in. Sensory deprivation voids are the worst. Or is that just a me thing too? I hear they’re supposed to be relaxing.

How much longer am I going to be in here?

As if on cue (or did I just not register the time between?) I begin to “see” something again. A ghostly blue mirror image of myself fades into the void before me, web of implants visible through the skin. A red highlight appears over my reflection’s toes and I feel a light touch of pressure there. The highlight begins moving upward and the band of sensation moves with it. In its wake the formerly highlighted areas turn green. All in order there.

Once my reflection is fully verdant, a similarly transparent woman in gold appears next to it. The standard grimoire avatar for these rituals. Every witch knows her, but we don’t name her.

I will soon begin a series of motions to assess your rate of synchronization. Please try to mimic them. It’s alright if your motions are not an exact match. A mild sense of disorientation may occur as your physical body will remain stationary. This is normal and you are perfectly safe.

Her voice and mannerisms are a triune of professional, nurturing, and friendly refined over decades of user feedback. Comforting enough to take take my mind off my previous thoughts and focus me on the task at hand. There’s still a hollowness that anyone who’s spent time around true AI would notice though. There’s no spark there, but the illusion is good enough to ignore that for this purpose. There’s a reason she doesn’t have a name.

Most of the calibration exercises focus on hand gestures and gaze tracking, but ultimately it’s a full-body exercise. All within acceptable margins; any mismatch to the avatar’s movements attributable to user error. I’ll be repeating it all over once I “wake up,” that time with my image overlaid on top of my physical body instead of in front of me.

But before we get to that, there’s the network test. First interfacing with my grimoire and navigating some test menus. Then a spatial visualization of my other implements. Hat beside me on the bed. Wand on the nightstand. Broom in its umbrella-like charging configuration outside. Fainter lights appear after; indicators of other electronics in transmission range.

We’re almost done. You’ve done a good job so far and soon you’ll be waking up. I and the rest of these visions will still be there when you open your eyes. There will be just a few more tests once you’re ready to continue.

You’ve been lying down a long time, so as you come back to your body you may notice stiffness and thirst. There’s no need to be alarmed. This is normal and you are safe.

I’ll be counting you up now.

1, slowly drifting toward your body.

2, feeling your senses return to you.

3, slowly becoming aware of your surroundings.

4, more and more awake.

5, wake up and open your eyes.

There’s the white ceiling above me, tinged gold with the evening sun. I blink a few times, stretch, and slowly sit up. The avatar wasn’t exaggerating about stiffness and thirst. I’ll need to log some feedback about needing to address other bodily functions after a full-day calibration session though.

That can wait though. I have higher priorities at the moment. As I look around the room, the avatar, even more ghostly now that she’s projected onto the real world, senses what I’m attempting and speaks up.

It is generally advised to finish calibrations before restoring connection to one’s familiar. Complications from doing so are unlikely but theoretically possible. Knowing this, do you still wish to override the standard order of operations?

I know I shouldn’t, but I’m impatient and tired of being alone. I give an affirmative.

Very well. Restoring connection. Please indicate when you wish to continue the calibrations.

The avatar and the rest of the test projections fade from sight. A shiver runs down my spine and the background presence that’s been there for most of my life now returns. The phlegmatic cholericness to balance my sanguine melancholy. My eyes dart to the door just as Bast(et) walks in.

Welcome back.

“Thanks.”

#my writing #old writing #rough draft #solarpunk #witch #Untitled Solarpunk Witch Story #Village Witch #journaling game writing

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theprayerfulword · 4 months ago

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July 29

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.

Romans 6:4 We were . . . buried with [Christ] through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Psalm 71:18 Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power to the next generation, Your might to all who are to come.

Hebrews 13:5 God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; 24 and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

May your interest be turned to being the temple of God rather than in building a temple for God. 2 Chronicles 24

May your Source be the Lord and your focus be the Word, for that which is eternal and unchanging will form a stable foundation for your life. 2 Chronicles 24

May you not only do what is right, but may you hunger and thirst for Him Who is always righteous. 2 Chronicles 25

May you not be foolish enough to give devotion to that which has failed, but turn and rely on Him Who has never failed to protect, support, and uplift all who believe in His Name and obey His Word. 2 Chronicles 25

May you not be impressed by yourself, but be over-awed by the majesty of the King of kings, for in Him are you safe. 2 Chronicles 25

My dear one, learn of My acceptance and receive of My grace in your life. Be free from the burden of self-imposed guilt over what you could not prevent, and find relief in My Spirit from the condemnation of others over what you could not avoid. I have willingly been made a curse for your sake to exempt you from the wrath to come, but all blessings remain ever within your reach. I have freed your soul from the curse of death stemming from Adam's sin, and your spirit lives now in the power of My resurrection. You are now freed from the weight of your sin nature, having died to it through My death on the cross as you accepted My free gift of salvation. As you walk daily in prayer through the Spirit and in study of My Word, your mind is renewed as you learn new principles of thinking and seeing through My example in the Word. You grow in maturity in your spiritual walk, seeing the old habits wither and fall away, when you open the doors in your life and truly make Me Lord over more and more areas in your heart and your mind. You find it easier to feel the nudge of the Spirit and to recognize My still small voice speaking encouragement and hope and confidence into your life. As you begin to abide in Me as I abide in My Father, you will know the heart of God in the joy of fellowship of the work of the harvest, in the anger toward the adversary who blinds My people with his lies and slander, and in the sorrow and heartache of rejection by those who turn their backs on the drawing of My Spirit. You have the responsibilities of today and all of its issues to walk out – decisions to make, choices to choose, actions to take. You have circumstances to handle and events to deal with. You are the builder in charge of the construction on your site, but I am the Architect. I have made the plans and provided the materials, gladly dispensing the wisdom and guidance you need for each concern that comes your way. I have emptied the past of pain and have filled the future with abundance for you if you come to Me humbly, seeking not your own will and desires but to point others to Me, making much of Me. By being vulnerable and transparent, open about your failures, weaknesses, and shortcomings, you give glory to Me as your Source and Provision, letting others know what I have done for you, that they may have faith in what I can do for them. Show them the mercy you have received from Me, and accept them as they are as you minister to their needs as My servant, led by My Spirit, expressing My love.

May you offer your body as a living sacrifice, dedicated and pleasing to the Lord, in light of what God has done for you through His love, for this is an appropriate way to worship Him in the spirit. Romans 12

May you not imitate those who are of the world or be conformed in your thoughts to the ways of this present time, but let God transform the way you think by the ongoing renovation of your mind by His Word and His Spirit so that you may learn to test and recognize the proper, pleasing and perfect things that God really wants for you. Romans 12

May you not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather be honest in your evaluation of yourself with sound judgment and sober discernment, in modest humility and temperate self-esteem based on the gifts God has given you as a believer. Romans 12

May you walk in sincere love, clinging to what is good, honoring others above yourself and being devoted to each other in brotherly love, never lacking in spiritual fervor as you serve the Lord. Romans 12

May you be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer, and sharing with God's people who are in need as you practice hospitality. Romans 12

May you bless those who persecute you, never wishing or seeking ill for them, living in harmony with one another, rejoicing with all who rejoice and mourning with each who mourns, not proud or conceited, but friendly with ordinary, humble people. Romans 12

May you give thought to what you do, that it will be honorable and noble in the sight of God and men, not returning evil for evil, so that if possible, you may live at peace with everyone, not overcome by evil, but overcoming evil with good. Romans 12

May you declare the name of the Lord to those around you, and praise Him with those who fear Him, honoring and revering Him with all who seek Him for He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one or hidden His face from any who cry for help. Psalm 22

#daily #blessings #prayers #scripture

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seekinginnerwisdom · 8 months ago

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I am an older female INFP and I first took the test as a teen and have consistently gotten the same results, regardless of website or version of test. And I was always kinda secretly proud to be one because my mom was struggling with my teen sister's bipolar/hormone powered rage and my dad, I think, was one of us too. He was a reserved, weird, sweet, unfocused mess who avoided conflict unless drafted (little war humor, get it from my dad). So I became my mom's confidant which made me feel helpful and special at the time but i now know probably wasnt "healthy".

Fast forward to now and I've earned a number of invisible "survivor of *insert trauma*" medals for myself. And just recently earned myself a small one for "surviving break up with first boyfriend after divorce" Its doesnt have a catchy title and I dont know how I they fit all the words on such a small surface but I'm proud of my small accomplishment. 13 years married, 6 years single, 2.5 years with him...alone again.

Shouldn't I be devastated longer than a week? He did it really poorly, too. Asked for a break a week before which took me by surprise, then 4 days later he told me he loved me and didnt want to break up but still needed time to figure things out, a few days later and its I want to be your friend but nothing more.

It was a back and forth conversation and he's telling me he's not attracted to me anymore and quickly adds "it's not because of the weight" (to clarify I have been struggling with my stomach and have lost 40 lbs which sounds great, unless you weren't overweight before and now I look like a skeleton). When he said that I couldn't help but laugh in that hurt way, where its brevity and pain mixed with a scoff (just me?) And not expecting a reply I rolled my eyes away from him and ask "so it's just me as a person" and there wasnt much hesitation before I hear a soft but steady "yes" behind me. As you can imagine, I didnt respond well to having my entire existence be rejected so i did something he had never seen me do. I yelled at him and kicked him out of my car. Then I tried to go back to work. Yup, he broke up with me in the middle of the work day. I'm sorry this is so long and I even skipped parts.

I left early and took a pill or two more than recommended and just ran away from consciousness as fast as modern medicine could get me there. (I dont post much so I dont know if I need to worry about responses but I took low doses of anti anxiety meds that wouldnt harm me unless i consume the whole bottle. I took 1 mg more than normal. Dont attack me). I got him to be more specific in his choice of break up methods the next week after texting to let him know I wrote a 7 page goodbye letter and how he has come out of this looking like a psychopath.

Is it an INFP thing? When someone hurts me or angers me and I'm trying to speak it's a lot of ums or long pauses. But hand me a pen or a keyboard and fill me will righteous rage...you cant stop me. If I know anything at all about you then you will receive a paragraph like you are reading right now filled with oddly observational criticism, I will hit upon at least one thing your sensitive about and end it all with a guilt trip so strong only the Catholically trained can weather it well.

I think he was afraid of the letter because he had been receiving the texts but not replying. He responded pretty quickly after that. After days of contradicting actions, trains of thought that burst into flames as it derailed and red string theory memes he finally told me that his decision to take a break, reassure me and then dump me in such an abrupt manner on a workday, twice btw, was because he really hadn't thought about it...

Now this is going to sound strange but I am so glad my exhusband had been abusive because it taught me control. Otherwise I would have hit him. Who does that?! Im 99% sure he wasnt lying because he's a blunt INTJ and he explained his incomprehensible thought process earlier and I've had previous experience with his type of obliviousness. He really didnt mean to hurt me, he doesnt have any social circle to speak of so when planned this whole thing his feedback was a crowd of 1.

But I saved the best for last. He appears to genuinely like me and really doesnt want to lose me. He wants to be friends...and my dumb ass said yes. With a caveat that the second he starts dating I'm out. I dont do lover to friends. I'm possessive and wont share. So as long as he stays single I'll be his friend. I know I'm dumb. I know I'm just going to be hurt by another display of thoughtlessness from him. But except for the week of hell I've been truly happy with him until I got sick. He's a jerk. I deserve better. But did you know, that INFP can be shallow too. I didnt until i met him. He is so pretty (in my eyes, he is definitely not to everyone's taste) and 7 years younger and he picked me 2.5 years ago. I am not pretty. Hard marriage, lifetime of depression, rather read another chapter than apply a layer of makeup, etc. but he eavesdrop me talking to my work friend and liked what he heard and asked me out.

God I'm dumb. Wow. I'm so sorry. It just happened today and I needed to let it out and when it started I tried another forum to get perspective from similar wired people as my boyfriend so I could do whatever was best for him and some responses were productive and informative if a tad blunt. One or two tried with all their might to be kind and I love them for that. The rest can burn in hell. I know I'm what people consider an "unhealthy" version of my type but I've just been considering myself a survival INFP. I think we all get broken a lot thanks to our inner compass. And when we build ourselves back up again our structure gains or loses new aspects. My corners are sharper, and someone broke my glasses so things arent clear all the time and when my belief in human goodness broke off I wasnt able to find all the pieces but it's still there. I'm still here. And now I will shut up. Sorry again. Still gonna post it though! :p

#breakup #infp thoughts #infp #vent post

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prophetofpresenttime · 11 months ago

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Is duniya mein logon mein sabse badi kami.. Lack of self confidence hai... Sabse badi skill jiski scarcity hai.. Woh hai decision making habit... People suffer with low self esteem and fickle minded ness... They want their parents to decide what they want in life for them not by themselves.... They don't know what they want in life.... Sometimes this other times that... Sometimes yes.. Sometimes no.. And this creates all the tragedy of life...

Whenever you take a decision you will face problems regarding its execution results after effects side effects etc.. You have to be firmly stand with full confidence to face all such things and resolve them one by one then your decision will prove to be correct and best suited with time and trails...

You have to have confidence to bear the full responsibility for the decision and to face all the consequences of it then only you can work and execute in practicality implement it to make it a raging success....

People doubt themselves.. What I am doing is right or wrong what someone will say what the watcher will say..will he mock me...they are talking about me...they just laughed at me...Do I have adequate table manners..What they will think about me..Am I looking fool.. I am not good looking..Am I properly dressed upto the event....I am not having good fate... God does not support me... I am a sinner...i killed a cat and a dog in my childhood...I injured someone seriously in a road accident when I was very young..I got defamed..who will marry me..I can't win... And all such nonsense noise in human brain paralyzes the free thinking given by God... I achieved enlightenment when I was 20 years in September 2000 .. that is possible to achieve in several thousand years by the God selected....Whatever I do.. Others follow ..its become a trademark/benchmark for others.. I am a brand... I set trends for fashion...People admire and follow me..I am a trendsetter... People imitate me...they follow my style and dialogues........People copy and imitate how I stand..my body gestures..postures...how I speak...what I speak..my words..my tone...my power...my charisma....All celebrities follow me..imitate me and copy me...They are making movies tv serials writing books and in newspaper..magazines.....songs and dialogues copying me from 4 decades...All political parties across the globe follows me.. I ordered the breaking of Berlin Wall....All politicians follow me...copy me and imitate me...I am running government from last 4 decades...US President's like Obama Trump and now Biden follows..me...white house and indian Prime Minister office works as per my suggestions and guidelines..both surgical strikes done by india against Pakistan were thoroughly planned by me...opening of economy and following global open economy by indian government was suggested by me to then finance minister manmohan singh in 1991...CJI copied my decision as final verdict on ram mandir that solved issue from thousand years peacefully...Large business corporations incorporate my ideas into reality.....Reliance goggle Facebook twitter Instagram YouTube and similarly several others are my original ideas..Superdry ,Wrogn, the North face, Being Human and numerous other fashion brands are open on the names given by me and inspired by me....This confidence is required..

Beauty is not in costly branded clothes its in your golden health and behaviour... How you communicate ..all this matters nothing else...

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poisxnyouth · 1 year ago

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i have grown so detached from posting to socials that aren’t twitter but sometimes my head and heart feel so achy and journaling doesn’t quite scratch the itch

hello to everyone who reads

hi guys ik y’all know my fics but i just want to throw it out there that i was still in hs when i wrote them and i feel the need to say that obviously hs dave was not written with any malicious or creepy intent lol i was just in high school and a little delulu okay? not to mention dave is lowkey cancelled now anyways

my life trek after high school didn’t go as i thought it would; i had this vision of art school, a city, an escape, a change for the better where i could truly find myself. my senior year, just as (the one) application response i truly wanted to be a yes was supposed to arrive, covid took the world by its reins. and that application? solid no.

that summer, i spent it with my friends. i got a boyfriend, a real, committed one, and he had me convinced that God was not only HIS answer, but should always be mine too. he was the type of christian that was homeschooled, grew up in it, and while i think my actions were wholehearted, they were so obviously swayed. my 18th birthday, after he had gone to dinner with my family, we were in his car because there was no where else to go. we started fooling around, and suddenly, there’s his dad. standing in the window. you get the drift here? i didn’t get to speak to him for days after that. (we were both 18+.)

obviously that didn’t go over well, and we broke up a few months later. i was heartbroken for such a piss in a pot guy. working a dead end job already, and did about a semester of college before realizing i did not have the mental capabilities to be working and schooling at the same time. i chose work instead. it was a gut decision, and mainly because i wanted to move out.

july 2021, my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer. what an interesting way to twist a family into knots. fuck cancer. i have never seen someone so weak and so, so, so fucking strong. my best friend’s dad had same type of cancer, stage 4, and our fathers were born one year and one day apart. every time it is my dad’s birthday, i think of john also. john passed in july 2022. i am very lucky to still have my father and it is a blessing i could never again take for granted. and i miss john too.

following the timeline…

i met my current boyfriend. well. i’d always known him. he was a best friend’s brother. (like the victorious song) i hung out at her house all the time, he was of course always there and always flirting. came out in a towel after a shower at some point, arms spread up on the door beams, and i really don’t think i could hide anything then. we’d started to have movie/tv show nights all together, and eventually it just happened. and i’ve never felt the same since. the love, the warmth, the respect, the understanding, the patience - truly, i do not think i could have picked better.

a month into our relationship, he moved 1.7k (i counted!) miles away to a little ski town in colorado. he said just for the winter season. as cold as it was, it was hell. it felt like he was a carrot dangling in front of me. he promised me that if he hated it he would come right back, and a very selfish part of me wanted him to hate it so badly just to come back. i didn’t want to just make memories with him over facetime. not in the primitive stages of our relationship, at least, but on the flip side, i knew that if we got through that, we will be okay through anything else.

i visited him one or two months in, and the day that i was leaving to go home, i distinctly remember looking at all my stuff packed up. he went in the bathroom before we drove to the airport, and i was already looking at jobs. i remember thinking, “hailey, you’ve been here once now. you’re going to move? that’s kind of silly. for a boy? just like that?”

…just like that, indeed. two more months later and he was picking me up from the airport with my four bags in tow. i was nervous. i was excited for this next step.

good god it was awful! i don’t think i’ve ever argued with someone as much as those few months. but we stuck through. i was also a raging hormonal bitch because of my depo shot. not an excuse but genuinely, i felt crazy. we picked it up in the last month or so of being there, and it was awesome. without the aching loneliness of being so far from home, it was independence and freedom. it was being able to love him freely, without care.

we moved back to florida after the snow started melting at the end of may. the ski resort had pretty much closed up shop anyhow. i went back to my old job. i did miss it and i did miss the people. but the days feel like weeks, and the weeks feel so long. i got too good at my job. it got boring. i’m still working it and i am still bored. everyone asks me questions they have because for some reason, i am the only one who has sat down with our computer and knows exactly what buttons to push. it does not take a genius and i am certainly not one.

since being back, we’ve gone on 3 vacations: a tiny home that is also a school bus, went to NYC for the first time !!, and skied the FUCK out of park city. it was honestly a great year between last june and now. but adulting is hard and sometimes the roster feels so full that inch by inch, a cinder block is attaching to me and i’m sinking underwater. drowning in responsibilities LMFAOOOO

so we’re moving back in like two and a half weeks. i have that same feeling in my stomach but all i have wanted is to make a life of my own with this boy. no kids for a long time, just the process of settling down with him electrifies me.

honestly if you read down to here you nosy and i like u. lets be friends.

#i will probably delete this soon #read while you can HAHAHA #not riveting

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rrxnjun · 2 years ago

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IM SORRY FOR ANSWERING SO SUPER LATE LIFE GOT SO HECTIC ALL OF THE SUDDEN☹️

STILL WITH THE TAKE THE STAIRS FIC U GAVE ME LIFE WITH IT ACTUALLY IT WAS SO NICE TO JUST TURN MY BRAIN OFF AND READ IT SO I THANK U FOR IT!! and like actually need a jaemin in my life istg!! AND THE SAME GOES FOR THE TEASER OF UR NEW CHENLE FIC!!! IT ALREADY SEEMS SO FUN!! SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! 🥳🤭

I AGREE I WOULD ALSO RATHER JUST GOOGLE THE END OF THE SHOW!!

AHH I HOPE U FOUND SOME ARTISTS SINCE THEN!!! AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF UR DAY AND TRANSLATING FOR ME!! IM SURE U ARE VERY BUSY AS WELL SO THANK U SO MUCH I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!🥹🥹💝💓 and my god the lyrics are so☹️☹️☹️ it's just such a great song and now it even got so much better with understanding it!!!🥲

WELL IF IT DOES HAPPEN I WILL BE HERE XD parents smh /j (but like actually i understand them cuz traveling alone can be risky☹️) thank u i hope we will figure something out if it does happen🥹🥹

IM GLAD THAT U ARE DONE WITH ONE OF UR ESSAYS ALREADY!! AND I HOPE SINCE MY LAST ASK U STILL ARE DOING GOOD WITH UR SCHOOL WORK AND STUFF🥳

I LOVE UR POSTS THERE LMAO SO DONT BE SORRY and ofc i agree!!! zach was my fav from the why dont we boys🤭 OH MY I HAVENT HEARD ABOUT THE VAMPS IN AGES damn now i'm gonna go and listen to them😵‍💫(also saw that u turned into a treasure stan🫣 and ur take on jikjin!! it's such a great song glad u listened to it!!!)

(liebestraum anon💕 and sorry if i disappear again and for writing a lot i swear i will try and keep it short for once☹️)

AHH ITS TOTALLY OKAY!!!! cant say i didnt miss you but i ofc understand that u have your own life and responsibilities and such,, so dont worry about it🤍🤍 AND THANK U SM AGAIN!!!

DJDJSJ MY CHENLE FIC IS FUN BUT THEN IT GETS DEPRESSING REAL QUICK SO UHHH HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR SOME ANGST ;-; (also i started rewriting liebestraum. just thought i'd let you know<3)

im super glad u enjoyed my translation!! the lyrics are really screamable in my opinion,,, and i also hope i did them justice however i bet i did a better job than all of the ones i saw online :p its not the best artistic lyricism but i like it nonetheless DJSK sometimes u need simple songs to jam to.

travelling alone COULD be risky </3 me and my uni friends randomly travelled to vienna last week because it was warm out and we thought our seasonal depression was finally over and i love me some spontaneous decisions but also it was so anxiety inducing bc it was my first time going abroad with no supervision 😭😭 we had SO much fun but also the stress we were put through to find the bus platform back home ??? never again. was so bad that i broke my 5 month streak of not smoking bc i had to calm myself down somehow and then i was put through the stress of buying cigarettes in german when i caNT SPEAK GOOD GERMAN but 10/10 i would do it again and it made me more confident abt travelling with friends so i WILL drag my equally spontaneous uni friends to budapest as soon as i can. (please tell me they speak at least a little english there)

I AM ACTUALLY DONE W 4 ESSAYS NOW WHOOP WHOOP ‼‼‼ 4 MORE TO GO BUT IM DOING WELL NO STRESS SO FAR. HOPE YOUR SCHOOL IS GOING WELL TOO!

wait do u rlly bc i think im so annoying on there sometimes like girl chill😭😭 but ZACH WAS ALWAYS MY FAV TOO altho i did have a daniel phase. I havent listened to the vamps in ages either i should catch up or sum ;-;

omg dont mention the teumefication of bar i wont admit it to myself yet DHSKSK however jikjin is now my fav song and i fear seeing my 2023 spotify wrapped bc of it now. ive also been watching a concerning amount of treasure map and finding myself in love with jihoon but thats...not important rn.

ill be waiting for u liebestraum anon!!! dw abt sending long asks i always look forward to them🤍 hope your days are filled with joy mwah

#💌ask #liebestraum anon

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tactlessly-sen · 1 year ago

Note

Firstly.

I’ve been on tumblr for 6 years..and if you ask people who have been longer,

They’ll tell you it has never been a place for political speak. Hence please if possible adapt to other social media, like Twitter/X or any other preferred medium.

While having said that, the world is indeed at war and different times call for different measures..therefore contextually speaking, I shall indulge in said “political speak”.

Religious background and old history. Jews existed and occupied the Israel area, and Jerusalem easily a “CENTURY” before Prophet Mohammad was even born. That area is holy to Judaism and Judaism alone.

Why?

Moses, (the most important Jewish prophet) guided the Jews out of slavery in Egypt and led them to the Holy Land (i.e. Israel )that God had promised them, literally parting the Red Sea along the way if you go by the bible.

But then again. Jerusalem is again “believed to be” (the Quran does not state it.) the region from where Muhammad ascended to Heaven.

Therefore the UN partition of equal lands and keeping Jerusalem a common area. Justified.

But what the Palestinians have a problem with..is that... During the announcement made by the UN, the Palestinian population was twice that of the Jews living there.

I would like to note that. The reason behind the jew population being less was the years of prosecution by the neighbouring arab countries and the Roman Emperor Hadrian. It was not like they had left willingly.

Now. The world war 2 has ended. The jews have just BARELY SURVIVED the holocaust and you guys refuse to give them just…the half of their own land?????

That they had inhabited FIRST???

And then these neighboring arab countries launched a full-on war on Jewish Israel. And guess what. Israel beat everybody fair and square. And came out with more than the land allotted to them originally by the UN.

2. Recent history. Palestine creates tensions. Israel makes blockades.

Palestine does intifadas. Israel cuts them off from Israel's civil body completely, terming them - “non-citizens”

Palestine votes for Hamas, a literal militant group to be the sole political body of the Gaza Strip. Israel enforces its army and consequently builds a heavy security barrier effectively cutting off electricity, water, food, etc.

These are obvious responses, right? If you have a part of your nation organizing a terrorist group you do your best to prevent it right? Which is what Israel did.

Then. Hamas. Starts another round of violence. Not just outright killing of innocent Israeli civilians but also. Torture. Burning them while tied up. Kidnapping them from their homes.

The people who have collected these bodies refuse to reveal to the media the kind of torture they were put through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UpClxURrSc&list=LL&index=4

And this was started. Knowing that Israel will take action. They knew this because it has always happened. And STILL, THEY CHOOSE TO START SOMETHING THAT ISRAEL WILL HAVE TO FINISH. I ASK. HOW DARE THEY?

Why couldn't the Palestinians struggle follow India’s path?

Thats the whole point of history right? Nations learning each other's struggles and strife? and making better decisions in the present based on said history?

When India was under colonial rule, we were treated as nothing more than cattle and dogs.

But how did we protest?

How did we show our rebellion?

Civil disobedience. Non-violent Satyagrahas.

But it brought the british empire to its knees eventually.

And israel would have heard too.

But no. the obvious Muslim way to protest was bombings. Therefore now, they are dealing with the same.

It's horrible. but it's true.

3. Morally speaking.

Yes, there is an active genocide taking place, and yes. there needs to be something done about it. Innocent people are dying and it is not right.

I am as an individual wholly in support of of donation and humanitarian support to the Palestinians.

I hope for the end of this genocide just as everyone else.

But people, please. Don't choose sides without substance. You are doing more harm than you think.

Israel just bombed a UN ran school and a Baptist Hospital in Palestine killing more than 500 Palestinian civilians, the majority of whom are children.

We actually don't know who blew up the hospital. Palestinian authorities say it was Israel but Israel is saying they had nothing to do with it and it most likely a failed rocket launch from Hamas, which, you know is incredibly likely because Hamas is literally launching their missiles from schools and hospitals to try to get Israel to kill civilians.

If Israel hits a school or hospital you can bet your ass it's because Hamas fired a missile from that location, using children and other innocent civilians as human shields so stupid ass people like you will look at the situation and say "Israel is so evil! Look they are killing innocent people!" when those people are dead because of Hamas who put them in the way of Israel's missiles because they want Israel to kill their civilians and they are counting on fools like you to eat up their propaganda and just ignore the reality that they are using Palestinians as human shields, which they're not even trying to hide. And they know they don't need to because you're dumb enough to fall for whatever they say, regardless of what the obvious truth is. You got anything to say about that??? Do you have anything to say about Hamas using children as human shields? Or is it Israel's fault they are doing that?

Israel is doing everything in their power to avoid civilian deaths. They warn Palestinians every time they are about to fire. They send texts, phone calls, leaflets, order them to evacuate the area, tell them where to go, exactly where they will be bombing, even send dud bombs to the locations so people will hear them and get out before they do anything and then Hamas tells the people to stay where they are specifically so they get killed and idiots like you will say "look what evil Israel just did!!!!!"

Are you aware that a few days ago there was a brutal terrorist attack in Israel perpetrated by Hamas that killed 1400 people? Including children? Are you aware Hamas beheaded babies, brutally raped children, killed family pets, murdered innocent people and took several children and elderly people hostage? Did you know they went there specifically to kill and torture innocent people? You got anything to say about that?? Huh? Or is morality suddenly subjective again?

Or is Israel the bad guy for trying to protect their civilians because Hamas is hiding behind their own?

#and sorry anyone who JUMPS to have an opinion #the MOMENT something happens #is a fucking idiot #discourse #arab israeli conflict #israel palestine conflict

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aphroditesmoon · 2 years ago

Text

replaceable (part iii)

jacaerys velaryon x reader

part 4

summary: after your twin sister decides to run away weeks from her wedding to the prince and heir to the throne, Jacaerys Velaryon, you are left with no choice but to step in her place.

warnings; violence, gore(?), angst.

taglist: @highexpectationsgurl

@lilithskywalker @her-fandom-sanctum

@lady-ashfade

@m4nd0l0r

@fallingwallsh

@icarusignite

@literishdegree99

@but-i-never-loved-me

@cassiopeia-black-brenda

@hanabbrmpg

@writer-lee5

@sha-aesthic

@powellssaturn

°°°°

Dear sister,

Its been a full week since you've left me with this burden to carry. I tell myself it's not so much as heavy as I imagined and force myself to push through with all my will for the sake of our family, but am I selfish for caring more of my own pride and honor.

Am I weak for wishing I could switch places with you instead. I don't resent you, I don't think I ever could. But despite telling myself I could survive a loveless marriage for the sake of our house, a life fated to push out heirs and nothing more than a chess pawn for the players of this cruel game, my heart aches for all the could've beens of my future.

I miss you sister, if you'd come back to me I would've force you to take back your mantle or hate you for leaving, I just wished id have a hand to hold throughout this lonely road I'm force to walk through.

your sister,

[name].

You blink through blurry visions as tears fall down the paper smudging the ink. Fighting the urge to scream you crumple the paper and throw it to the other side of the room.

Just a few days ago you were sure you'd be able to do this, that you could bare the responsibility placed on you. But now you wonder if everyone was right and you've always been the weaker of the two all along.

A loveless marriage, and a humiliating one. Can it get any worse? You hope to never answer that question.

You haven't seen Jacaerys since yesterday breakfast. You wished to confront him yourself of the rumour that's been spreading fast but he has been quite taken by his mother since morning so you'd wait for his training hours at least. Neither one of your parents had come to see you either, it felt like everyone was avoiding you for some reason.

Walking out the door of your chambers, you give a polite nod to the guard guarding your room as he bows back.

Book in your hand, you walk straight to his usual training spot. He has been training alone most of these days since Luc's death, and you were hoping this time was the same.

As if your prayers were answered, you see the prince sitting by the ground, sword next to him.

"My prince" you greeted, walking closer, feeling an anxious nerve swirling in your stomach. He startles from his daydream and glance at you in surprise. "My lady"

"I hope I'm not disturbing you my prince, you seem distracted"

"No- uh, not at all you're not. Im just, taking a break, clearing my mind, I can't work a sword right when my minds full" He gives a tight lipped smile saying this.

You give a nod of understanding as you lift your dress a bit to sit next to him. The sound of waves crashing loud drowning the awkward silence between the two of you. His mind seems somewhere else though his eyes stares right ahead at the sea.

You swallow hard before speaking up. "There is- something, that I wish to ask you my prince, relating to a rumor that's been spreading, perhaps you know what I'm talking about?" You attempted.

He looks at you in confusion before his eyes seem to relax and he sighed. "Yes, I think I do. I apologize my lady, the court must've been rudely insistent with the gossip towards you." He says only that, his eyes stops meeting yours.

Your heart stops. "So it's true? you wish to call off our wedding?"

He continues to not look at you but you can tell he was distressed. "It was a suggestion, that a stronger alliance was made. Your house's loyalty has proven to be a shaky foundation the moment your sister left-"

"My sister's decision was not my father's." You snapped standing up and glaring at him.

"We are one of the biggest supporters of house Targaryen and my father has not broken his oaths once, you need our troops even if another alliance was made yet you wish us to give you it without any interest given to our house besides a broken promise of your family?" The sneer in your voice couldn't be held back.

Not only were you the jest of the court but now your family is made fun of like a fucking circus in the middle of all this chaos.

His eyes widen in surprise as he rises to his feet and starts nearing you. "Interest? Is honor in not being the traitor of the fucking realm not enough" Despite you starting the argument, the anger in his voice caught u off guard.

"We have pride as much as you do Prince. For you to assume we'll bent the knee to the Queen for a little praise is disrespectful of you." You snapped back.

Before he could reply, you continued: "I lost my sister too, I know grief as much as you and I fear for the fate of my own house and family as you, can't you see? For you to belittle the status of my house and mine, is beyond hurtful and presumptuous of you. House Targaryen has promised an alliance and yet scheming to back down from its own words behind our back? Did you not think I at least deserve to know of this brilliant idea if yours before you presented it to the council?" Your voice grew louder.

"I was going to tell you, and why does it matter if you knew too late or too early? We've barely known eachother, you can't possibly be that offended now-"

"Are you deaf? I had to learn of my own broken betrothal from a fucking court lady who's head is so far up her own arse! I am a joke to the court and a joke to you. You do not love me and I don't ask you to, but do you not respect me as a woman engaged to you? Do I not deserve a bit of that at least?"

You fear your eyes would water as you shout louder, an annoying habit when you are angry.

"I've lost so much already and yet you think it fine to take the last thing I own now too, my pride" Your voice breaks as your fists clench by your side.

"Don't compare your situation with mine [name]. my brother died with honor, yours ran away from her's." He blurted out face red.

But the anger in his eyes disappeared as soon as it came, realizing what he just said.

You were speechless now. After everything you just said, he had the nerve to insult you and your family still.

You release a heavy breath and all the will to fight left your body. He opens his mouth to speak but you shook your head and turn to move immediately.

He pulls your arm tryung to stop you from leaving. "I didn't mean it-shit, listen [name]-"

You push his name off unable to look at him and force your legs to run back inside wiping your wet cheeks with the sleeves of your dress as you u hear him try to chase after you.

Trying to escape him as fast as you can, you hit a build waking towards you. Arms holding you up as you almost fall.

"My dear are you alright?" Queen Rhaenyra asks straightening you up and apologizes for bumping into you. You were glad the tears have been wiped out earlier, not willing to come up with a lie now.

"Oh yes - yes I'm fine my queen, I apologize, I wasn't looking straight -" Your words falter and your heart dropped as you hear Jace's footstep echoing louder towards you.

"[name]- mother?" his voice heard behind you.

You dare to turn and look at him and he has a scared look in his eyes.

You turn back to Rhaenyra giving a short smile. "Could I be excused my queen, I have some things to be looked over, if there isn't anything you need?" She has a confused face at the view in front of her, knowing something was off. "yes of course sweetheart, be careful with your steps" She smiles back, eyebrows furrowed as she let your arms go and you scramble towards your room leaving the prince with his mother.

°°°°

The maidens were braiding your hair so intricately as you sit still for it to finish faster.

You had to pull yourself together from all the crying about an hour ago when you were informed the queen wished to have a dinner together with your family.

Your energy was drained from all the tears. You think you can push yourself to sit through a few hours of empty conversations for tonight. That is, hoping you won't have to interact with the prince. A fat chance.

"It is done my lady" your handmaiden tells you. as she releases your hair letting the lower half down your shoulders.

You thank her gently and rose to leave your chambers to the dining room. You were startled as you were met with the prince Jacaerys himself, in front of your room.

He seems to have been there for a while. Eyes nervous, he speaks first before you can tell him off. "I wish to walk you to dinner." He blurted.

The two stared at eachother for a minute before you nodded slowly. He reach his hand out to you as you hesitantly place yours in it palms.

The walk was silent, and you were grateful for that, you truly didn't have much fight left in you for the night.

The table was already filled with your families except for Baela and Rhaena who haven't arrived yet. The queen Rhaenyra beamed at the sight of the two of you walking in hand in hand.

It hit you then, of course this gesture was for his mother. He didn't care wether you were alright or not.

You sat next to eachother as per assigned seat. Though non of you had said anything throughout dinner, you could feel him repeatedly throwing glances at you. It was annoying really.

What did he expect? that you'd relent and act as if nothing happened? You considered yourself a good person, not a stupid one.

The sound of happy laughs and chatters filled the room as you continue to play around with your food, giving small smiles and nods here and there when talked to. Though then the peaceful picture of this scene was broken by a loud clang outside the room.

An immediate silent flowed through the room as it caught us off guard.

You glance through the door and flinched when a loud bang pierced through it.

"what the fuck is it now?" Daemon yelled out to the guard posted outside.

nothing.

And then the screams of guards were heard and the door slammed open.

Screams were let out by the maids as strange men filled in with swords and knives.

"SECURE THE QUEEN" the kingsguard's roared as swords were drawn and men were falling through the room like dead leaves.

You all but screamed as you scrambled under the table to hide. Your feet was dragged out and were pinned in the floor as a knife was pinned through your neck, ready to be slit through.

You scream your lungs out and close your eyes in fear. The sword never went through as you hear a choked noise.

Opening your eyes, enters the view of Lady Baela Targaryen, her hand around the holder of a swords piercing through the neck if your attacker.

She pulls her sword off him and pulls you up with her. "Are you alright?" she asks quickly scanning you for injuries while running out the room with you.

"Yes i- wait where's everyone else-" you breathed out raggedly as she drags you behind a staircase as a group of men run through next to it. "Rhaenyra is secured with my father, I can't find Baela or Jace" She whispers quietly.

"What the fuck is going on-, do you think they're greens?" you were fighting back weak tears, this isn't the time to be a coward.

"Who else if not them? They are relentless [name]. It seems they wish to remove all threat to aegon by necessary. No matter the fucking consequences." Frowning with anger she pulls a sword from a statue knight and handed it over to you.

"If you don't know how to use it, Just swing really hard or something, as long as the edge reaches the body, you're good" she tells you shoving it in your hand.

You almost fall with the unexpected heavy weight of the sword but you manage to pull through raising it by your side as the two of you creep by the secret passageway behind the stairs. Her hand was still in yours, but it was you gripping hers, fingers trembling.

As she pulls the both of you out of the passageway that led through the throne room she screams out seeing her father being thrown over a table, his sword flying across the room. Baela runs across and flew over the attacker jumping behind him and pulling his head back as her sword slits through his neck.

You eyes bulge wide as his head rolls off.

You raise your sword and instinctively pushes it through a chest of man appearing out of knowhere ready to strangle you. His blood splattered over your dress, you push him off and run to Baela and Daemon.

Daemon's composure returns as he flings his sword through two men at once screaming at Baela and you to get out. Men filled the room, you couldn't identify your prince through the bloodied men and fallen heads and arms everywhere.

A certain coconut head looking man with being thrown to the floor made you push Baela's hold on you as you run to Jacaerys.

You scream his name plunging the sword through the man and kicking him in the face as he falls off.

Blood seeped through his ripped cloth on his arm, you cried at the sight, ripping off the edge of your skirt and rushingly wrapping it a mess around his arm. It wasn't going to hold in the blood, but it'll do for a good 5 minutes, you figured.

You turn around to see Baela no where to be found and then notice her carrying a passed out, bloody faced Rhaena out as Daemon pulls out mans tongue out.

Wincing at the latter view, you tried your best to drag Jace behind a more hidden desk at the edge of the throne room.

You pushed him to the corner and stuffed chairs in front to hide yourselves, ears ringing to the sounds if clashing metal.

Your eyes scan over Jace's unconscious ones. Shaking him by his shoulder you cried out his name begging him to wake up. His pulse was still there, he was going to be fine, you tell yourself.

The blocking chair was dragged away and you screamed sitting in front of Jace to shield him as the view of Queen Rhaenyra's kings guard comes in view.

"shh- it's me my lady- come" he holds his hand out for you and his other lifting Jace up his shoulder as he runs breathlessly leading you back out the same passageway you entered before noticed by any attackers. He placed you both under the stairs and told you to stay there.

He pulls his cloak out wrapping it over your half assed bandage over Jace's wounded arm. "Please do not leave here until I come back my lady, make sure the bandage doesn't lose" He speaks fiercely and you nod fast as tears stream down your face.

As he leaves you push Jace back into a hopefully more comfortable position for him.

You pull the cloak tighter around his arm and you pray he'll hold out long enough for the siege to end and for him to survive.

#jacaerys targaryen #jace velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jace targaryen x reader #hotd x reader #house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon #hotd season 1 #game of thrones

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irrelevantwriter · 4 years ago

Text

Unspoken

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) x Female Reader/You

Rating: Explicit, NSFW

Warnings: Language, vaginal fingering, public sex, car sex, unprotected vaginal sex, mild choking, mention of bodily fluids, shitty exes, petty Rio (yaaaass)

Word Count: 5.8K

Summary: Part 6. Feelings were shared. Where does that leave you and Rio? A dinner with your ex? A car in a dark parking lot?

A/N: The last part is here! Though as I said yesterday I am definitely not calling this the end. I have lots of ideas for Rio and I’ve thought about adding to this in the future as inspiration hits. I’ve also thought about developing a Rio x OFC fic and/or something for Beth x Rio. I’ve had a lot of fun writing and exploring his character so I’m nowhere near close to done. And I also need to shoutout the ladies from the discord for this part. They suggested it and I ran with it (as I do). So big thank you to @woahitslucyylu, @whatupitshuff, and @fvckthisbxtchup! You inspired this. Be proud of yourselves. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Feedback is that good shit. 💗

*Read Part 1 here

*Read Part 2 here

*Read Part 3 here

*Read Part 4 here

*Read Part 5 here

*Give and Take series masterlist

*Masterlist in bio.

*********************

He sighed, turning off the engine and checking his phone one last time for messages. The restaurant lot was full, patrons shuffling in and out of the newest establishment in downtown Detroit. It was in a historic building that had obviously recently been renovated, though efforts had been made to keep its old world charm. The restaurant was a place he’d yet to visit and this impromptu pop-up offered the perfect opportunity for him to do so.

Rio exited his vehicle into the cool air of the night. It wasn’t frigid, but it was enough for those outside to don a jacket. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he made his way to the entrance, noting the stylish fashions of most of the restaurant's occupants. He didn’t worry about the supposed dress code. Wearing black often gave him an air of sophistication, even with the tattoo splashed across his throat. It was a duality he’d mastered over the years. The tattoo kept him grounded to his roots. His nature. His business. The wardrobe kept him aligned with the civilian world. People would often eye his throat warily, suspicion clear in their gaze. But one look at the clean lines of his pressed shirt and somehow they’d come to the conclusion that he’d made a mistake as a young kid. Got involved in the wrong crowd. Hadn’t gotten around to getting the hideous atrocity on his neck removed. They believed what they wanted to believe.

Cowards.

He smiled at the passing elderly couple as he held the door open for them, their smiles making their eyes crinkle at the edges. They probably thought he worked there. He stepped through the threshold, taking in the dim lighting and soothing melody of jazz that filtered through the space. His eyes scanned the open area with practiced diligence until he found what he was looking for amongst the black booths that ran the length of the right wall. They were high and designed for privacy, but he could spot your face anywhere.

The hostess greeted him and he politely gestured to the booth you sat at, easing by the podium as she took a moment to trail her eyes along his body. He smirked at the blatant attempt at flirtation, not bothering to return the sentiment. Instead, he weaved through the aisles of tables as he made his way towards you.

Your brow was tensed, your lips pursed. The discomfort showed on your features, all the way down to your stiffened shoulders. He watched as you took a sip from your wine, nodding along to whatever the person across from you had said. When he came into view, your eyes widened, almost comically so. He grinned, finding your shock amusing. It was the exact reaction he was going for.

“Hey mama, sorry I’m late.” He announced as he made it to the table. He ignored the couple sitting with you and leaned down to press a kiss to your temple, feeling you sway into it despite your obvious surprise.

“Uh...h-hi.” You choked out, shifting over so that he could slip in next to you.

He shed his jacket as he sat down, pulling you close once he’d gotten comfortable. You let him maneuver you, still trying to understand why he was there. He could see the slight panic in your eyes, as if he were here for business purposes, crashing a dinner as a strategic move. But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

His eyes finally met Paul’s, your ex, and then slid over to his fiancé’s at his left. They both looked just as stunned as you, except for the displeasure that radiated from Paul’s gaze and onto him. His fiancé, Erica, he thought her name was, looked intrigued; curious about his arrival.

“Sup, man…” Rio greeted, extending his hand for Paul to take. He let it hang in the air for a moment, eyes trying to remain unflinching against his. After only a second, the man broke eye contact. He reluctantly took Rio’s hand and shook it, his palm sweaty and warm.

“Who is this?” Erica questioned after she realized no one was going to introduce him.

“Oh, um...sorry. This is Rio.” You replied shakily, looking at him as if trying to convince yourself that he wasn’t a figment of your imagination.

He noticed your nervousness and rested his left hand on your bare knee, gently squeezing in silent reassurance. He felt you relax immediately, your body uncoiling beside his and once again seeking out his touch.

“Nice to meet you.” Rio smoothly directed to Erica, taking her offered hand. She smiled back in return, her lips painted a vivid pink. It was a harsh shade and one that made her look like she’d been playing dress-up. He knew from the comments you’d made to him that Erica was not the woman you’d caught Paul with during your marriage. It’d been someone different. Someone from his firm. But you’d quickly pieced together that there had been many throughout the years. All slightly younger and the exact opposite to you in appearance.

Rio let his eyes covertly take in the woman across from him. She wasn’t unattractive. But she also wasn’t someone he’d ever think about leaving you for.

“You’ve met Paul. And this is Erica.” You stated, hand gesturing to the uncomfortable-looking couple across the table.

Rio nodded in their direction, Paul’s stare still unmoving. He sat straight and rigidly, the arm that sat around Erica’s shoulders now taut and awkward looking. He found satisfaction in that. He let his own arm rest comfortably across your shoulders, his fingers dancing along your upper arm in soothing patterns. He felt you shiver in response.

“We didn’t know you were coming.” Erica said with a smile, giggling for whatever reason.

“Oh yeah, last minute change of plans.” He propped his chin into his hand and met your eyes, seeing the relief in them.

You’d told him about the dinner three nights ago when he’d been at your house. He was in your bed, lounging against the headboard after he’d fucked you on the stairs. And then once again on the dining table. You were checking your phone, mumbling curses to yourself when he’d asked you what was wrong. You’d complained about your ex and how he was now suggesting a dinner alone with you and his fiancé to “talk some things over”. The whole thing seemed innocuous enough to him, but you’d insisted Paul had an ulterior motive, which according to you, never meant anything good. You’d been worried ever since. Anxious about having dinner alone with them and dreading the reason he wanted to meet.

Rio had funneled the information out, not giving it much thought because your ex was none of his business. But something had struck him the night before when you’d called. He’d been going over some of his books, mind completely focused on numbers, when his phone rang. You were in the bathtub, voice tinged with ease and alcohol. Just wanted to hear your voice, you’d said. And for some unknown reason, that sliver of vulnerability made his chest feel tight. He hadn’t stopped thinking about it since.

The newest development in your situation was slow-going. After that night in his car and the semi-proclamation of feelings, you’d both taken cues from the other, waiting for someone to speak up and declare...something. None of that had happened though. What had happened was amazing sex on the regular and sporadic outings to dine. He preferred not to call them dates because they really hadn’t been. They were usually moments right after a round of rigorous sex when neither of you had eaten. It was usually a decision agreed upon mutually and without fanfare. Just two people who were hungry and accompanying the other. The barest of human needs. Just like the sex. It was satiation.

But even he knew that there was an underlying current of unsaid words. Which is why your tipsy admission had startled him. For so long you’d both denied what was so obvious. It was practically a subconscious act now. And he realized, as long as he let you dictate the speed, you’d come to him. As long as he didn’t push or ask for more, you’d show up. And you had. So now, so was he.

“Something to drink?” The waiter asked, interrupting the tense moment.

“Vodka on the rocks, please.” Rio replied, the waiter nodding and disappearing into the fray.

“So, Rio…” Paul finally spoke up, clearing his throat as he straightened his tie. It seemed he’d found his voice. “I take it you don’t actually deal with home plumbing.” He said the sentence snidely and with a poignant glance in your direction. “So what is it that you do?” He finished, swirling the amber liquid in his glass.

He could feel you tense up beside him.

“I own a couple of businesses.”

“What kind of businesses?” Paul retorted, an eyebrow raised in doubt.

“The kind that do business.”

A moment of silence stretched out as Paul took in the nonanswer. Rio could see the wheels working in his head, see him weighing the pros and cons of arguing with him on the matter. The man opened his mouth, more than likely to continue to probe, but Erica beat him to the punch.

“How’d you guys meet?” She implored with an excited gleam, clearly hoping for a magical meet-cute moment that had never happened.

“Bar bathroom.” Rio said with a smug smile, enjoying the sputtered cough you expelled.

“He means outside of a bar bathroom. We sorta ran into each other.” You hastily lied, biting into your lip when his arm shifted off your shoulders and under the table, landing on your knee once again. He let his palm glide over the swatch of skin afforded to him by your dress, feeling your thighs clench together the higher he got.

“That’s adorable.” Eric chimed in, a genuine smile plastered on her pink lips. The same couldn’t be said for Paul, who looked as if he’d tasted something bitter.

Rio snickered because nothing about what either of you had been doing in the time since you’d met was adorable. It was the exact opposite. And he thrived off of it.

He turned his attention on you, hovering close to your ear, his fingers trailing along your inner thigh as he ignored the other diners at the table. “You good, mama?” He rasped, knowing what the action did to you.

Your eyes weren’t on him. They were shifting anxiously between Paul and Erica, concerned with the proximity of his lips and hand. Of course, they couldn’t see his arm disappearing beneath your dress, but they did notice the intimacy of the moment. Erica’s eyes looked on in admiration while Paul’s darted to anywhere but the two of you.

“Yeah.” You breathlessly replied, your own hand coming to rest on his. You squeezed and then set your gaze on his, reassuring him.

“You sure?”

His eyes flicked to your mouth, the flesh wet from both your lipstick and your tongue. He licked his own as he got lost in thoughts of tasting you.

You nodded, your eyes following the movements of his tongue, seemingly just as entranced as he was.

The moment was shattered with the waiter bringing Rio’s drink and taking food orders. It was for the better. He couldn’t very well fuck you on the table, though he’d save that fantasy for nights when he couldn’t have you.

Everyone kept the conversion polite and vague, choosing to stay away from certain topics. It was rigid and uncomfortable for everyone involved, unsurprisingly so. The subject transitioned to the kids, upcoming events and appointments being the main points. The food arrived and Rio busied himself with eating an exquisite dinner. The food was delicious and he had a fleeting thought about investing into something like this. He owned the bar and had arrangements with other small businesses, but he’d been hesitant to enter the restaurant realm. It was tricky. There were always new places offering something no other eatery could. He’d have to get with the owner, Joel Pinet. Rio knew him from around the neighborhood. His own bar was only a couple of blocks away and he’d met Joel on more than one occasion, the man a regular in his establishment.

“What’d you mean you won’t be here this summer?”

Your question brought him back to the moment, the irritation in your voice making him alert. His dark eyes settled on Paul as he twirled his fork in his pasta. The action annoyed Rio.

“Erica and I are going to Europe over the summer.”

“He promised to take me.” She chimed in, giddy and blissfully unaware of the anger mounting between the exes.

Your narrowed gaze bounced between the two, your irritation palpable. You were stiff as your spine straightened against the booth. “What about the kids? The summer is when they have time with you. They look forward to it.”

Paul raised his hand in a placating gesture and Rio noticed how your lips pinched together in response, as if physically restraining yourself from saying something. You were a better person than he was. The man across from him was barely that, and barely one that deserved your attention, much less the wasted love of a ruined marriage.

“I’ll make it up to them. But we’ve had this trip planned for months.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me that?”

“Because I knew how you’d react.”

“Yeah, because the summer is your time, Paul.”

Paul sighed, as if frustrated with your reasonable argument. “So we’ll switch. You’ve had to have my help with alternating weekends when stuff comes up.”

“For work. Not a trip to fucking Europe.” You seethed, voice low but spewing with venom.

Rio only looked on, silently admiring your ability to not beat the guy’s ass. He deserved it. He was a piece of shit husband and an even bigger piece of shit father.

“The kids will be fine. We’ll be gone for a few weeks and then they can come stay with us for the remainder of the summer.” He brushed off your concerns, seeing no real issue with forgoing time with his children to peruse foreign streets.

Rio scoffed at the boldness. The action didn’t go unnoticed.

“Something to say?” Paul directed at him, his chest posturing in a show of male dominance.

Rio laughed lowly, amused by the man’s antics. How you’d ever ended up with someone like that was a mystery to him. After seeing your determination, your fire, Rio had been enthralled. He’d recognized something raw inside of you. Something that matched him. Outwardly, you appeared to be opposites. Strangers from two different worlds. But inside you were more alike than either of you really understood. There was something waiting to be uncaged within you. Waiting for a reason to be unleashed. He was going to get you there. Because you deserved to see your potential, even if the bitch of a man across from you didn’t.

“Nah man...you clearly got the situation under control.” Rio taunted, the sarcasm dripping from his words. He clenched his jaw and swallowed, two sets of eyes watching the bird at his throat move. It was his own alpha display. His own performance of just who king dick was. And it wasn’t your ex.

When it was clear that Paul wasn’t going to rise to the occasion, Rio drained the last of his drink and turned to face you. He lowered his lips to your ear and spoke so only you could hear.

“You ready to go, darlin’?”

“Yeah.” You said with a sharp nod of your head, chin held high in reproach towards the man opposite you.

Rio stood, grabbing his jacket and helping you slide out of your seat. His eyes never wavered from Paul’s as he did. You smoothed out your dress, clutching your purse and not bothering to acknowledge the couple at all. He dug into his pocket for his wallet and made a show of grabbing a few crisp hundred dollar bills. He pulled out two and threw them on the table.

“Dinner’s on me. Keep the change, yeah?” He offered with a smirk, letting his hand come to rest on your lower back. He led you away, keeping his touch secured to you as you stepped into the night.

You released a sigh immediately and then inhaled, eyes closing as if centering yourself. He watched you closely, wondering if he’d see tears in your eyes when you opened them. Instead, he saw amusement. A laugh erupted from your throat, your chest shaking as the volume grew with each passing second. He only watched, entertained by the sound. For the first time that evening, he let his eyes trail along your body. Your dress was black and velvet, hitting just below the knee. There was a small slit up the side, exposing the smooth flesh of your thigh. A tie was cinched around your waist, accentuating your figure, while short sleeves helped stave off the chill in the air. The entirety of you was elegant...captivating, and far too striking to be meeting up with your ex-husband for dinner.

Your laughter died down when you noticed his gaze. You stepped towards him, holding your purse in front of you so that your cleavage pulled his focus. He licked his lips and waited as you crowded his space, your perfume swirling into a fog around him. He studied your face, noting the tiny details he often overlooked. You were beautiful, a fact that never went unnoticed by him, but sometimes he forgot just how much. And he wondered if you’d always been this attractive or if it was just the blinding haze of attraction that made him think so. Either way, he didn’t really care. It didn’t change how much he ached to fuck you.

“How’d you know where I’d be?”

“I got my ways.” He offered, taking in the way your lashes fluttered at him. It was a familiar tell. One he’d come to associate with you flat on your back and gazing up at him, usually with his cock buried to the hilt inside of you.

“Thank you.” You whispered, sobering for a second so that he could read the honesty across your features. There was that vulnerability again. And his chest tightened just as it had the previous night.

“No problem.”

You took a step back and waited as he began to follow you to your car. You’d parked along the side of the building and he noted how full the lot still was. You halted once you noticed his SUV next to your car, stopping at the bumper and turning to face him.

“Your car?” You asked, nodding in the direction of the black G Wagon.

He wordlessly nodded, once again using the moment to appreciate the way your dress hugged your frame. He appraised your black heels and the deep red polish that adorned your toes, remembering that last time he’d seen you they’d been a light pink. He waited and watched as you walked to the passenger side of his car, fitting yourself in the space between the two vehicles.

“How tinted are your windows?” You asked, the innocence in your words making him suspicious. “Like no one can see in kind of tinted?”

You stared at him as you waited for his reply, biting your bottom lip in a way that could only be described as seductive.

“Yeah, why?”

You grinned, pleased with his answer. His face remained expressionless as you looked around the lot, the area void of other people. You slowly reached under your dress, careful not to expose yourself. Your hands disappeared under the skirt and then reappeared a second later, a scrap of dark green lace trailing down your legs. Your gaze stayed on him as you stepped out of the underwear and dangled them on your fingers, a proud grin making its way onto your lips. You flung the panties in his direction and he caught them against his chest.

“Open the door.” You softly demanded, gesturing to the rear passenger seat.

Rio let your words hang in the air, taking satisfaction in seeing you begin to squirm. There was doubt in your eyes, like perhaps he’d turn you down. You hadn’t caught on to the fact that he could do no such thing.

He took mercy on you, figuring you’d had enough unease for the night and found the key in his jacket pocket, hitting the button. The lights of the car flashed as the vehicle unlocked itself. You sent him a playful smile as you got in without another word, the door closing behind you with a resounding echo. He chuckled and shook his head, biting his lip as he pocketed your panties and walked to the other side of the vehicle. He got in, sliding in next to you and discarding his jacket along the way. He seated himself in the middle and you immediately straddled his lap. His hands found their way under your dress, skimming the soft planes of your thighs.

“So that’s what it takes, huh?” He whispered against your lips, leaning into your touch that ran along the back of his neck.

“What?”

“Me being a dick to your ex. That’s what it takes.” He supplied, hands gliding further under your dress until they began massaging your ass. You moaned at the sensation, eyes fluttering shut as you ground down onto his crotch.

“Takes a little more than that.” You insisted, your hips rocking against his in a sensual rhythm.

“Let me see.” He gruffly commanded, chin angling to the hem of your dress that was bunched around your thighs.

You stilled your hips and did as he requested, lifting the fabric and exposing your bare slit to his hungry eyes. He could see the evidence of your arousal, even in the dark. Your pussy glistened in the muted light of the night, swollen and needy for him like aloe to a scathing burn. He reached forward and ran his index finger along your opening, making you jump at the contact. He instantly became drenched in you, the clear stickiness coating his finger. Your hips searched for a firmer hand, wordlessly begging him to slip past your lips.

“You seem plenty wet for me already, ma.” He taunted, letting his finger press against your clit. You gasped and bit your lip, nails digging into the tops of his shoulders.

“Rio...please,” You pleaded, chasing his touch every time it disappeared from your body.

His dick twitched at the sound of his name falling from your parted lips. It was something you’d only recently started doing, using his name in bed. He was addicted to the sound of it. You always said it with desperation and longing, usually while clinging to him in trembling pleasure.

“What do you need?”

You gripped his wrist and directed his finger into your waiting walls in response. He was overcome with heat and slick immediately. You both released moans that signaled just what it did to you to be so intimately joined.

“That what you need, baby?” He added another finger while his thumb continued to massage your clit. He could feel you clench around him, nipping at your chin as your moans turned to whimpers.

“More.”

“Let me see all of you.” He ordered, his free hand pulling at the neckline of your dress.

You dutifully obeyed, pulling your arms out of the garment and slipping it down to rest around your waist. The same shade of green that had adorned your lower half also encased your breasts, the lace affording him glimpses of your hardened nipples. He curled his fingers inside of you in reciprocation, reaching up to mouth at your neck. Your hands held him to you, running along his scalp and sending bolts of electricity straight to his dick. He shifted his hips in search of friction, feeling the warmth from between your thighs calling to him.

“Feel good?”

“Yes…” You breathed, unclasping your bra and hurriedly pulling the lace away. He followed your lead and trailed wet kisses across your flesh, his tongue reaching out to taste you. You pushed your chest into him in return.

“You can take more, right mama?” He urged, not bothering to wait for your answer. He added another finger, his movements speeding up as he reached that sweet spot deep within.

“Fuck, fuck…” You cursed, riding his fingers while he sucked at your nipple.

He worked your body like a fine-tuned car, hitting each switch with expert precision. He could read your face, gauge the tension in your limbs the further he brought you to the edge. His guilty pleasure was watching you cum, watching you uninhibited and practically blessing his very existence. He knew if he flicked his wrist more to the left and pressed down on your clit at the same time that you’d call out his name. He knew if he bit down on your breast he’d be rewarded with your pussy fluttering around him. He knew if he told you how good you looked, how good you felt, you’d cum...and hard.

“You look so good like this. Like you belong to me.” He praised. You gasped, throwing your head back, and he knew you were close. “Who gets you like this? Who makes you feel this good?”

“You do.”

“That’s right. No one else.” He affirmed, thrusting his fingers as rapidly as he could at that angle. The muscles in your thighs twitched as you came, tightening around his fingers in a way that made him long for it to be his dick instead. He let you ride out the ecstasy, your body rocking into the stiffness pressed along his zipper. Your head was thrown back, your mouth agape as a litany of cries and moans filtered through the air. He could make out the rasp of his name amongst the sounds. He could feel the surge of moisture as it slid down his hand. You were enraptured; a victim to his touch.

He waited until your body had stilled, the aftershocks having long passed, before he slipped from your clutches. He caught your hooded gaze and slowly took his slickened fingers into his mouth, your essence exploding onto his tongue. He savored you, taking in the way your chest expanded with each breath. Your fingers curled into his shirt and dragged along his chest, your hips dropping down to grind into him. He barely had enough time to remove his fingers before you were pulling his lips to yours. Your tongue coaxed his into your mouth and he could taste the remnants of the wine you’d drank. The alcohol mixed with you, creating an erotic elixir, one that had him intoxicated. He hissed against your lips, bucking his hips when you unzipped his pants and licked your palm in a show of lustful desire.

“I need you. Inside.” You panted between kisses, situating your pussy over him as you stroked his throbbing flesh.

Rio slid his hand up between your breasts and grasped your neck, feeling your pulse jump. He tilted your chin towards him and ensured your eyes were nowhere else but on him.

“Put me in. Go slow.” He squeezed his fingers around your throat as you moved, angling the head of his cock along your folds. You released a shaky breath as you eased him into you, gaze not wavering. He rested against the seat as he took in the view, licking his lips. He tsked and maneuvered your chin back in position when your eyes began to close, the fullness of him stretching you tight.

“Keep going, mama. All of it.”

You held his forearm, the one still attached to your neck, as you bottomed out, your ass finally meeting his thighs. Your pussy sucked him, walls gripping him with an unforgiving strength. You both remained still, relishing the myriad of sensations that assaulted your restless bodies.

“Touch yourself.”

You worked your hands over his arm, cupping your breasts at his request. Your movements mirrored his, matching the force and pressure of how he usually touched you. He was transfixed by you. Utterly lost in the way your body begged for him and still wanted more. He respected your greediness. Could understand the need for more once a craving had been satisfied. It was the business he was in. He was an expert on the matter. And he’d deliver for you.

His left hand dug into the flesh of your ass in a show of impatience. You caught on and started to move, leaning down to nibble at his throat. Your pace was languid, almost lazy as you swiveled your hips. Each down thrust had you rubbing your clit along his pelvic bone, triggering your pussy to spasm.

“Rio...”

There was a warning in your tone. He could hear it clearly as you bounced on his cock, the plea almost drowned out by the slapping of bodies.

“Shit, already?” He asked, somewhat surprised at the rate at which your body was responding to him. He let both of his hands fall to your ass, directing you forward so that he could thrust. You whimpered into his ear as his hips pushed up and into you, hitting deep. You clamped down around him, making him squeeze his eyes shut.

“Right there. Don’t stop.” You gasped, face buried into his neck as he slapped your ass. The hit made you convulse. So he did it again.

The closing in of your walls made him double his efforts. He secured his arm around your waist and held you steady. He kept your pussy at his desired angle as he fucked you, hearing that hitch in your breath that let him know you were on the cusp of orgasm.

“M’gonna cum.” You slurred, primal lust making the words run together. His dick swelled inside of you, his balls tightening with every desperate breath you expelled. He could feel that familiar tingle at the base of his spine start to expand, signaling to him what was coming next. He worked his hand between your bodies, gathering moisture and ravaging your clit. You jerked in surprise, yelping when his touch didn’t retreat or ease up.

“Too much.”

“Nah, you take it, ma. You take it and you cum for me.” Rio provoked, forcing you to abide by his commands.

Seconds later you were doing as he said once again, cumming on his cock with a force that made him grit his teeth. Your body shuddered as barely intelligible words floated from your lips. You nuzzled further into him while he continued to chase his own release. He dug his fingers into your hips and thrust, the rapid speed making the car sway. He could already tell the windows were fogged up, the stench of sex permeating the air. You were boneless as you sat astride him, your soft moans of residual pleasure going straight to his dick, luring him off the edge.

“Fuck,” He growled, feeling the eletric shocks of climax start to claim him. He closed his eyes and buried his face into the crook of your neck, teeth biting down into the otherwise unblemished skin. He held you firm as he emptied his cum and filled you, rivulets already beginning to spill from your connected bodies. His chest moved with the rapid beats of his heart as the entire moment culminated into a drug-level euphoria.

Minutes ticked by as you both struggled to catch your breath and calm your racing hearts. Rio felt you ghost a kiss along his jaw; a low, satisfied laugh making him smirk.

“You think anyone heard us?” You asked, beginning to shift in his arms.

Beyond the fogged windows, the lot was still without people. But who knew who’d walked by in the meantime. The SUV wasn’t necessarily equipped to withhold sound, though it could cause a bullet to ricochet.

“Probably.” He let you sit up, eyes falling to your still naked chest. You both seemed to have an affinity for fucking in public spaces.

You eased forward to kiss him, the action much more intimate than it’d been moments ago. Your fingers trailed along his jaw and combed through his facial hair, a gesture he secretly loved. His own hands skimmed your back, eliciting shivers that radiated down your body.

“I didn’t ask you to do this.” You whispered once you’d pulled away, eyes imploring him to understand what you meant.

He did. He knew what this kind of gesture meant. He’d been truthful in confessing his want for you. It was a selfish need. Something that grew because you’d continuously denied him. And then it’d shattered before it’d even had a chance to become anything. And during that time he’d admitted to himself that he was willing to compromise. To follow your rules. And as a boss who ran his own shit by his own decree, it was difficult to come to terms with. But he’d done it. Why? Because something told him it’d be worth it. Whether for the great sex or the companionship.

Time would tell.

He ran his finger along your cheek, observing the way you fell into the touch. “You didn’t have to.” He assured you, meaning every word.

“Thank you.”

“You already thanked me, darlin’.”

“Well, thank you again.” You smiled, pressing your chest to his.

“Call it even.” He joked, gesturing to the state of your bodies still twisted around each other.

“Let’s get some pizza.” You suggested suddenly, pulling the sleeves of your dress back up, sans bra.

He laughed at both your words and the fact that you were getting dressed with his dick still sheathed inside you. “You hungry?”

“I didn’t get to finish my dinner.” You reminded him, retying the tassel around your waist. His hands sluggishly skimmed your thighs, stopping to squeeze whenever you suddenly straightened. “Oh, what about that food truck you took me to last week? The one with the fried mac and cheese?”

Rio took in your enthusiasm, finding it endearing. He didn’t have to use words to figure out where your head was at in all this. It was written on your face. In your voice. Beaming from your eyes and seeping from your pores. And like so many other things between you, it would go unsaid. For now. Because that’s just how it was. And maybe it was fucked up. But it didn’t invalidate any of the chemistry between you. Words just...weren’t needed. And that was sort of how it had always been.

“I got you.” He assured, patting your ass as he did. You beamed at him, not knowing that his words ran much deeper than a meal.

Rio Tags:

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#rio #rio good girls #good girls rio #rio x reader #rio x you #rio imagine #rio fanfiction #rio fanfic #nbc good girls #good girls nbc

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kohanayaki · 3 years ago

Text

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 7

Severus looks back on everything that went wrong.

tw: non-consensual kissing/harassment, trauma responses

LINKS: CH 1 CH 2 CH 3 CH 4 CH 5 CH 6 CH 7 CH 8

________________________________________________________

Ch 7 .:Things Unforgivable and Things Left Unsaid:.

Graduation day at Hogwarts was supposed to mark the beginning of a new adventure for you. Instead, it marked the day you decided that whatever it was between you and Severus Snape, friendship or otherwise, it was over.

Or at least that's what you had thought. Of course, the universe just loved making things more complicated for you. You were working with Charlie in Romania when you had gotten word that Severus defected from the death eaters and was now working as a double agent at Dumbledore's behest. He continued teaching Potions at Hogwarts, and was even indited as a member of the Order. If anything, that only solidified your decision to go to America instead of staying in London. You didn't even know what to think. Of course you trusted Dumbledore, confusing as the man was, but you didn't know if you could really trust Snape again. You had worked towards forgiving him; over time you moved past what happened, but it was difficult to really say it was 'resolved' when you quite literally haven't spoken a word to each other in over a decade. You didn't even know where to start.

For the entirety of your seventh year, you didn't speak a word to Severus. It was hard to imagine that such a tight knit trio like the one you, him, and Lily had formed could crumble in an instant, but that's exactly what happened.

The end of your sixth year at Hogwarts was a quarter Snape would never forget, no matter how hard he tried. It was when everything fell apart. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1976 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James!” you yelled, running to the top of the hill where he and the rest of the Marauders had Snape held upside down.

“What are you doing?” you said, immensely hurt and trying to keep your voice steady, “You said this would stop, you promised. . . you swore.”

“(Y/n), I. . .” James trailed off, immediately feeling guilty. As he turned to you Snape dropped to the ground, attempting to scramble to his feet but finding his ankle twisted.

Sirius moved towards you to say something but you put your hand up firmly.

“No,” you said, “not a word out of you, Black.”

Sirius stared at you, wide-eyed, shrinking back as you called him by his last name for the first time in a long while. Not Sirius, not Pads. Black. As if your whole friendship had just been reset.

“And you two,” you said, addressing Remus and Peter, “how could you let this happen?!”

All four boys looked at you in shame, none of them daring to verbally respond.

Suddenly, Lily came running up the hill, having fallen behind you in your quick pace.

“Severus!” she panted, rushing over to him, “are you alright?”

Snape was in an angered daze, not even registering the words being said around him. The blood rushing through his veins felt like lava, his heart pounding in his ears, his chest, his tongue. His face burned with humiliation and hatred. Pure fucking hatred for James Fleamont Potter. For Lily to see him like that. . . for you to see him like that, pathetic, helpless, in need of your help once again. He wouldn't have it. He was a master of the dark arts now, he didn't have to fucking take this. He would curse Potter into the next century, he would—

“Severus!”

Snape's eyes snapped open, not even realizing they were closed. The world came rushing in around him and he was suddenly acutely aware of Lily's hand on his arm. He reeled back at her touch as if he'd been burned.

“Don't touch me!” he screeched, startling the redheaded girl. Her eyes were filled with concern, but all Snape could see was pity.

“Sev—“

“I don't need any help from you, you filthy Mudblood!”

And everyone in the clearing stilled.

The color drained from Snape's already pale face as he realized what he'd just said.

“Lily. . .” Severus whispered; pleading, desperate.

“Don't come any closer,” Lily said, her voice stone cold as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I'll kill you,” James said lowly.

“Prongs, no—”

“I'll kill you, you slimy bastard!” James growled, Remus moving quickly to hold him back.

You stood in the middle of it all, staring at Severus. Severus, who'd always told Lily that blood status didn't matter. Severus, who you and Lily always stood up for no matter what. Severus, who you thought you had feelings for up until this exact moment.

Without even thinking you stepped forward, grabbing Lily's hand.

“Let's go, Lils,” you said, your expression unreadable as you looked down at Severus. Lily squeezed your hand back gratefully, fighting the sobs racking her chest as she turned around and took off with you.

“(Y/n), wait—” Snape tried to get up but found himself shoved back down to the ground by Sirius.

“No,” he said sharply, “you don't get to say anything to either of them, you hear me?”

“I—”

“What?” James spat, “you're sorry? Well sorry doesn't cut it! You say a word to her after what you called her and you'll wish you'd never have been born.”

Snape's head hung low, that wish already present in his mind.

“Leave him,” Remus said, this time not out of mercy, but malice; letting Snape wallow in his own misery as he left with his friends, looking for you and Lily.

Soon, Severus was left alone. Just as he began, and just as he should have never hoped for anything different. Was this it? That's how it was going to end? One mistake, and the only two people he'd ever cared about were ripped away from him.

No. He decided he had to apologize properly, consequences be damned. If those Marauders wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp afterwards, that was fine by him. He just needed to talk to Lily one more time. To tell her how deeply sorry he really was.

He took off down the hill, sprinting towards the castle and completely ignoring the burning pain in his ankle. He rushed through the grass, ignoring the looks he received from the other students walking by. He ran past the oak tree, through the castle gates, flying through the corridors and cutting across the courtyard when he skid to a stop at what he saw.

Lily and James stood in the center of the garden, her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as his lips captured hers. Her eyes were still wet with tears, the tears that he had caused. Severus didn't do a thing. His presence remained unknown to them as he slunk away back to his common room, heart silently breaking.

He was too late.

Nothing was the same after that.

Lily insisted that if you wanted to remain friends with Snape, as she now referred to him, she wouldn't hold it against you, but she made it very clear that she would never forgive him herself. But it wasn't as easy as wanting to stay friends with him or not; he'd changed that day.

After some time to let things settle down you tried to approach him, but he only became more and more hostile towards everyone, including you. You hardly saw him anymore. The only time you occasionally spotted him was when he was walking around school with Malfoy, Mulciber, Wilkes, and Avery, unable to look you in the eye lest you see the utterly crushed expression on your face as he fell deeper and deeper into the dark side.

You held your books tightly to your chest as you made your way to Hagrid's hut for one of your last Care of Magical Creatures class. You were being paired up with a few lower classmen to teach them the ropes for feeding all the creatures Hagrid kept in the meadows. You were a tad late, having been preoccupied at lunch, speedwalking to try and arrive on time when you saw a flash of silver-blue light emit from inside the forest. You could hear warbled shouting and laughter coming from the same direction, and your instincts told you to run.

However, because your nerves were on high alert, that also told you someone in there was in danger, and you couldn't just walk away from that. You drew your wand, abandoning your books by a rockface and moving towards the commotion, the distorted shouting soon becoming words.

“Oh come on, you little runts, you lot can do better than that!” you recognized Mulciber's voice.

A young girl shrieked as a giant acromantula barred its fangs at her, its front legs raised and poised to attack. Her friends were huddled in a corner, more students who couldn't have been older than second or third years, being forced to watch by Avery and Wilkes.

“How's this for Care of Magical Creatures, eh?” Mulciber taunted as he walked over to the other students, pulling a young boy out from the group.

“No!” the girl cornered by the spider cried, “please, don't!”

“Aw, how cute,” Mulciber drawled, “is this your little boyfriend, huh? Shame.”

The boy screamed in fear as he was suddenly lifted into the air by his ankles, forced to hover right above the spider just out of its reach. You wanted to wretch as you watched the scene unfold, unable to keep yourself hidden any longer.

You leaped into the clearing, a quick flick of your wrist relieving Mulciber of his wand. You did the same to Wilkes as he turned to you.

“Well well, why am I not surprised?” Avery scoffed. Right behind him stood Severus, his expression vacant.

“Grab this, and get to Professor McGonagall immediately,” you shouted to the younger Gryffindor students, tossing them a gold galleon. As soon as they touched the coin, the portkey shot them all back to the castle.

“Why are you always the one spoiling our fun?” Mulciber sneered.

“Someone's gotta do it,” you said, putting up a brave front although you were under no illusion as to your situation. You weren't fourth years anymore, and you were alone this time. They'd been studying the dark arts for the past two years. You knew you were outmatched, even with your dueling skills.

“Oh, come on, (Y/n), don't be a bore.”

You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice to see Rosier, an easy grin set into his face. Your heart dropped.

“So you too, huh?” you chuckled bitterly, “and here I thought you were one of the few good ones left.”

“You're not really that naive, are you?” he tutted, “you had to have known I would be inducted eventually. Might even get Barty to join us, even if he is a little nutty.”

You went for a stunning spell but found your wand spinning out of your hand before you even saw him move.

“Not so fun to be on the receiving end, is it?” Rosier said, “you're not the only one versed in non-verbal magic, (Y/n). In fact, I'd even go so far as to say we've surpassed you. Lucius will be furious, but I like you a lot, so I'll re-extend his old offer for him. Join us.”

You had no wand, no backup, no way out of this, but you stood your ground nonetheless.

“Eat shit,” you seethed. Rosier glowered at you, taking a few menacing steps forward. He grabbed your jaw firmly and you grit your teeth.

“I don’t think you heard me—”

He reeled back as you spit right in his face,

“You bitch,” he growled, wiping his face in disgust, “clearly no one ever bothered to train you.”

Without your wand you were really only left with one option, ready to defend yourself by revealing your animagus form, but you never got to take the first step forward.

“Imperio!”

You stopped in your tracks as a veil of what could only be described as pink fluff drifted over your mind. A smile immediately appeared on your face, and a giggle rose in your throat.

Severus looked at Rosier with horror, the rest of his crew looking among themselves uneasily.

“What do you think you're doing?” Snape hissed, “are you trying to get us all expelled?”

“So what?” Rosier said, “we've used the killing curse loads of times.”

“On insects, you loon,” Snape shot back, hoping his concern for you was masked enough.

“Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt your precious (Y/n), Sev.”

The nickname made his stomach churn. You used to call him that. Lily used to call him that. No one else did. No one else got to.

“Release them,” he said, raising his wand, “now.”

“Put that away,” Rosier's eyes narrowed, a smirk sliding back onto his face as he got an idea, “hey, (Y/n)?”

“Yes?” you answered, your voice dripping with honey.

“I don't think Severus likes you being under this spell,” Rosier said, “but you like it don't you?”

“Mmm hmm,” you nodded, your head feeling like it was floating, “it feels so nice.”

“You know what else would feel nice?” Rosier goaded, “if you gave our friend Sev here a kiss.”

Severus' heart dropped to his stomach.

“You're sick, Rosier,” Snape said, his voice close to tremmoring.

“You don't have to act like you don't want it,” Evan chuckled, “we've watched you putz around (L/n) like a fool for years. Besides, they want to. Isn't that right, (Y/n)?”

“He's right,” you said, your voice deceptively melodic, “I love you, Severus. I've always loved you.”

And in that moment, Snape had never hated himself more. Because he didn't care that Rosier was making you say the things you did. He didn't care that you were under the influence of a curse. All he could hear was the words he longed to hear spill from your lips, over and over like a skipping record.

I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus.

He played the words on repeat in his head. His heart was beating almost painfully in his chest, so much so that he hardly even noticed you slowly walking towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck like Lily had done to James. And when you leaned forward to kiss him, his selfish desires held him in place.

It had lasted a fraction of a second, but he didn't pull away. It was the greatest regret of his life that he didn't walk up to Rosier, break his nose, and curse every single person in that clearing instead of doing nothing, knowing full well you had no control over your actions.

When his eyes drifted open and met yours and his stomach twisted into ugly knots, fear and panic wracking through his spine. Your eyes were completely empty, irises a vacant white, and in that moment it felt as if he were kissing a corpse.

Suddenly the color returned to your eyes, and fear immediately filled them. Snape grunted as he was shot away from you, unable to move when he hit the ground. The other Slytherins looked around for the assailant, but they had no time to react when every single one of their wands was pulled from their hands. McGonagall stood there, expression the same as ever but clearly brimming with fury.

“(L/n), come,” she said, ushering you over and taking you protectively in her embrace, “we'll get you to Madame Pomfrey.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she regarded Snape and the rest of their group, “As for you,” she said, “Mr Filch, secure them in the dungeons until the Headmaster calls for them. And put all of their wands in the lockbox.”

“With pleasure,” Filch said, almost blending in with the trees behind her.

“Are you alright?” McGonagall asked you as she helped you back towards the castle.

“No,” you said, honestly, “n-no, I don't think I am.”

“No amount of apology could ever equate to the remorse I feel that this happened to you, (L/n),” she said earnestly, “I am truly sorry. This was completely unacceptable, and I will see to it that the proper measures are taken for their punishments. Expulsion would suit just fine, but even if the Headmaster disagrees, I will personally ensure you never come into contact with any of those boys again.”

“Thank you,” you said, your voice sounding hollow in your own ears.

You didn't remember walking the near half-mile to the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey's words felt so far away, as if she were speaking underwater. You just remembered laying down in the hospital wing bed as she checked you for any lasting damage, and as soon as she'd turned her back you'd just wept.

________________________________________________________

That night, Snape found himself in the Prefect's bathroom, leaned over the sink and watching the water rush into the drain. His hands clutched the marble sides of the basin so hard his knuckles turned white, every breath catching painfully in his chest before he forced it out to take another shaky inhale. He was an idiot, he knew. There was no fixing this. Not really. First Lily, now you. Was he just predestined to lose everyone in his life?

He paused. No, he didn't deserve to think like that. Everything that had gone wrong was his own doing.

When he heard the door to the bathroom open he whipped around, ready to curse whoever dared to interrupt him until he saw you standing there, your eyes red from crying and the Marauder's Map clutched in your hands like a vice. He was half certain you were a hallucination, but as soon as he pulled himself to the present, he rushed to apologize. You had to know how horrible he felt about what he did, even if you would never forgive him. He made the mistake of being too cowardly to properly apologize to Lily, he wouldn't make that mistake again.

“(Y/n), I'm—”

“I know you're sorry,” you said callously, “and I know you mean it. That's not the issue.” you took a breath to collect yourself before you continued. This was so much harder than you thought it would be. Maybe this wound really was too fresh right now. You thought you'd be able to handle this conversation, but your prior feelings weren't making this any easier.

“Why did you do it?” you asked quietly, “Better, why did you do nothing? You were my friend, Severus.”

Whatever was holding back the flood of emotions in him, it snapped at your words.

Were. Past tense.

“I don't know what I was thinking,” Snape said in exasperation, though it came off more as anger directed at himself. His hands threaded through his messy black locks, his eyes nearly manic. You'd never seen him unravel quite like this. He was desperate to fix this, to keep you in his life. “No, I wasn't thinking at all, (Y/n). I couldn't, not when you were . . . not when I. . .”

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it—

“Not when I've fancied you for years.”

Snape knew immediately that he had made a mistake. The expression on your face made his stomach twist, and he knew there was no taking back what he said.

“No,” you said, tears welling in your eyes, “Severus Snape, don't you dare say that. What, do you think that just makes this all okay? You're an oblivious idiot, you know that?”

Your heart ached so bad it felt as if you couldn't breathe.

“Do you know how many times I wished you would have kissed me?” you said shakily, not bothering to hide the hurt in your voice.

Snape was sure his breathing had stopped, eyes wide with shock. He couldn't have heard that right. Did you really feel the same way about him? But reality hit him in the face when he saw your expression. This was no heartfelt confession on your part.

“For you to just. . . for it to happen like that,” you said, still struck with betrayal and disbelief, “If you've ever respected me, you never would have let that happen. I was under a curse, Severus. And you took advantage of that— of me. All because you were too much of a coward to just tell me how you felt. And then you go on and say you've liked me this whole time as a last ditch effort to save our friendship? How the hell did you expect me to react?”

He had nothing to say to that. He blamed himself entirely. Every verbal blow you struck he gladly took, he would have sat there still as stone if you hexed him, but you refused to draw your wand at him. You just stood there, staring straight through him with unbelievable hurt in your eyes.

“I can't do this, Severus,” you said, “please, just. . . just leave me alone. I'm not saying I'll never forgive you, but right now I can't even begin to think about that. Not now.”

You looked like you wanted to say something more, but your mouth snapped shut, and Severus saw the finality in your eyes. He stayed glued to the spot where he stood long after he watched you leave, his eyes trained on the door you'd slammed shut.

If you thought Snape had made himself scarce after what he said to Lily, after what he did to you he practically vanished. He no longer sat underneath the tree that had become so symbolic of your former trio. He no longer roamed the Slytherin common room, or even the Great Hall for meals. Instead he would walk through the forbidden forest alone, or hole up in some empty corridor purposely hiding but hoping you would walk up to him. You never did.

The people who did find him in the few days that followed were the newly named Marauders, though incomplete as they arrived without you. As he glanced down at the parchment in Lupin's hand he had no questions about how they'd located him. Snape grimaced, not bothering to get up from his seat beneath the stone pillar. Anything they did to him was what he deserved.

James stepped forward from the group first. His expression was unreadable, but Snape saw the way his jaw was set firmly in place, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. The Slytherin had expected Potter to come at him guns blazing, sending a flurry of verbal attacks and hexes his way. However, James Potter simply stared down at his former enemy with a look that met in the intersection of barely contained anger and utter disappointment.

“You didn't deserve them,” he said coldly, his voice oddly level.

“I know,” Snape glared, but not feeling very self-righteous.

“No, you don't,” James said, his voice rising steadily, “you will never know what you put them through. You sat there while your lunatic friends used an Unforgivable Curse on them, and you took advantage of them. I don't care if you know, I'm going to throw it back in your face, because it's what you deserve.”

“I think it's clear that (Y/n) doesn't wish to speak with you any longer,” Remus said, “if for some inconceivable reason they want to in the future, they'll approach you. Don't you even think about going about it the other way around before they're ready and willing to talk. If they ever are.”

“It's settled, Severus,” James said simply, “you're officially not worth our time anymore.”

Snape blinked up at him, trying to recall a time when Potter had ever called him by his actual name.

“Don't get us wrong,” Sirius glared, “the only reason we aren't throwing you to the Womping Willow is because we know the last thing (Y/n) would want is her friends getting expelled because of them.”

“We'll leave you alone now,” Peter said grimly, “just like you've always wanted.”

And they were telling the truth. They left him completely alone, not speaking a word to him after that; 'they' now including you and Lily, which destroyed him more than any amount of bullying had before. He watched from afar as you grew closer and closer to the Marauders. . . no, you were a Marauder. It was only natural that you became almost like a family in your seventh year. You, James, Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Lily had become as inseparable as Snape thought you, him, and Lily were, but he'd ruined that. He had ruined every good thing that had ever happened to him and pushed away every important person in his life.

The last time he saw you was graduation day. Everyone was running around excitedly, dressed in the ceremonial jewel-toned robes of their respective houses as they awaited Dumbledore's speech. You had been sitting with your group as usual, now having carved out your own spot at the Gryffindor table, when you noticed that Snape was nowhere to be found.

You frowned, wondering why he of all people had to slip into your mind on a day like today.

“You alright, Fangs?”

Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, I'm fine. . .”

His handsome features contorted in concern, but that easy grin slid back onto his face as he nudged you with his shoulder.

“What, you worried you're gonna miss us?” he smirked, “this isn't goodbye, you know. We'll all see each other at the Order meetings—”

“Which you always seem to talk about at an extraordinary volume,” Remus shushed him pointedly. Sirius brushed him off with a roll of his eyes.

“(Y/n), are you sure nothing's wrong?” James asked from across the table.

“I'm alright, Prongs,” you said, “I just. . . you know what? I just remembered I left something in my dorm, I'll be right back.”

Your friends exchanged worried glances as you got up from the table, taking off towards the Slytherin common room. It wasn't a total lie, but your intentions went against your better judgment. After today there was a very, very good chance you would never see Severus again. What he did wasn't okay by any means, and it would take more than an apology or a simple conversation to forgive him, but you needed closure at the very least. Not for him, but for you. You deserved that much.

You swiped the map off your bedside table and opened it fully, your eyes quickly picking out Severus' name near the cellars only a few rooms away from where you were. You took off quickly down the hall, reaching the intersection where all the dungeon's corridors converged when you spotted him. Your heart stopped.

His left sleeve was rolled up to his elbow, as was the person's standing across from him, their back to you. Even though you couldn't see the second person's face, you recognized who it was immediately.

Evan Rosier.

He wasn't on the map before. . . how had he gotten in?! He'd been expelled after the day he cursed you. Did he somehow find a way to bypass the anti-apparition charm?

You felt your breathing hitch, fear creeping under your skin. There, on both of their arms, was a tattoo of a skull, a serpent weaving its way through the mouth and eye sockets in an undeniable pattern. You stopped breathing all together. You knew Severus had fallen into the dark arts, but to actually be a death eater? To be proudly showing off that awful display of radicalism along with the person who had used an Unforgivable Curse on you, who had invaded your free will and taken over your body. . .

Severus must have felt you even from the opposite side of the hallway, because something pricking at his skin told him to look up, and when he did he wished he never had. You were looking at him for the first time in over a year, your eyes full of terror. Rosier followed his gaze, but when he looked over his shoulder there was no one there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus sighed, trying to push the less than pleasant memories out of his head. He knew by now he was likely the last person left in the house besides you, Harry, and Sirius who were all staying here. Something like hope had sparked in his chest when he saw the faintest ghost of a smile on your lips as you saw him for the first time since graduation. He wanted to talk to you, to tell you he knew he deserved nothing from you, but he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it right if you would only give him a chance after all this time. In truth, he missed his friend. With Lily gone, you were one of the closest things he had to that left.

Against his better judgment, Severus made his way up the stairs, silent as a thestral as he headed for your room, but he stopped in his tracks when he reached the top. Sirius' door was cracked open the slightest bit, and what Snape saw inside made his blood run cold. You were sitting next to Sirius on his bed, your head resting gently on his shoulder. As you craned your neck to look Sirius in the eyes, that's when Severus saw it— the way the Marauder looked at you. The way his face seemed to light up, the spark that returned to his gray eyes, the utter adoration in them.

And just like that, Snape was a seventeen year old boy again, transported right back to that courtyard garden, watching Lily and James share their first kiss on the day he had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. His heart shattered silently, though his departure was not so quiet as he took off down the stairs as quickly as he could. He grimaced at his own feelings, ones he knew he had no business owning.

As he was about to open the front door to leave, his instincts suddenly screamed at him to turn around, and he was just barely able to cast an invisibility charm as you began to come down the stairs. He held his breath as he looked at you. He knew he had no right to think so, but you were still beautiful like this; dressed in pajamas, hair disheveled, eyes still sightly puffy and red. He saw you look around, knowing you had no doubt heard his rather noisy descent of the staircase, and he cursed himself for not leaving sooner. Your eyes searched what should have appeared to be the empty space in front of you, but he saw you look him in the eyes, and he knew that you knew.

“Severus?” you called his name out softly, and the sound felt like a strike to his face.

He wanted nothing more than to say something to you, talk to you, hold you. But his mind flashed back to the way you had been with Sirius, and his words died in his throat. He said nothing, trying to remain unphased at your hurt expression as you turned around to walk back up the stairs. As soon as your back was turned to him, he left, unable to bring himself to do anything more.

Once again, he was too late.

Read chapter 8 here!

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