#speaking of abridged DBZA

[juanmarailgun]

Honey, one day I WILL have you caught up with One Piece, even if the price I have to pay is never being able to convince you to watch something with me again... also a remake of the anime is on the making, which is the perfect excuse if you ask me.

turning this into a poll because i am just so beyond baffled right now.

[hells-greatestdad]

Give us the tea on the way that the Dragon Ball fandom treated Goku

Oh. Damn. Well. You asked for it!

Look. Even Toriyama (God rest his soul) did Goku did dirty in recent years. So I'm not gonna put all the blame on the fandom - but also. Yes I am. Cuz the source material is right fucking there and has been for over 30 years at this point!

(Caveat, if you disagree with me on this stuff, we're still friends. I'm not petty. Just maybeee don't try and talk Dragon Ball with me.)

A lot of this is also driven by the popularity of DBZ Abridged - and credit where due, DBZA is fucking great! But the fandom is fucking stupid and treats DBZA as the canon because they don't wanna actually watch the actual show or read the actual manga!!!

First. Reducing Goku to "just wants to fight" and reducing Goku's views on morality to "don't care, fight me"

Like. I get it Dragon Ball Super does it. But Dragon Ball Super fucking sucks and outright flies in the face of decades of established canon in multiple areas. FUCK DRAGON BALL SUPER. She's dead to me.

I had/have a whole sideblog on my main account dedicated to the Dragon Ball manga - @iamhumantoafault It's not active anymore, but I use it almost like an archive. And I have lots of posts demonstrating Goku's views on morality as shown in the manga itself

Suffice to say - Goku does NOT only care about fighting. That's a big drive of his, yes. But it's demonstrably not to the point where he'll let people die for a good fight - which is something the fandom wholeheartedly believes he'll do!!

Second - yes, it's about Goku being a father.

Look. Imma be frank. Goku is objectively a better father than Lucifer. He is absent for a lot of his kids' life, yes - but he has far more justifiable reasons than Lucifer does.

Though, you wouldn't know it by the way the fandom speaks of Goku. And they will defend this point to the nth degree. It actually pisses me off how sincere they are about being OBJECTIVELY WRONG

Goku not only loves his sons, he spends time with them. Yes, including in the manga. His sons, especially Gohan, adore him. Gohan's love for his dad is like.... so pure, man. It's one of my favorite things. And it just... it's obvious. How do some people not see it.

Even when Goku comes back after 7 years being dead, Gohan is legit over the moon ecstatic to see him. That's a bond, man. We love to see it.

....that's my messy af essay.

[vertebreakher]

When I was a little kid, I used to be pretty arrogant and elitist towards a lot of anime. I thought shonan was stupid and Dragon Ball Z was for idiots. I thought I was hot shit for drawing the characters from the playstation games I was interested in and that the kids who drew dragon ball characters in their notebooks were shit artists by virtue of "being unoriginal" or something.

I was a pretty shit kid. It took watching Gurren Lagaan years later to course correct me on my frankly objectively terrible opinions, and I didn't stop viewing Dragon Ball with some measure of contempt until much later after that. My first exposure to Dragon Ball was through the abridged series, and I was one of those people who believed that DBZA actually wrote it better. Which is an exceptionally arrogant and unfair idea. There's a sort of pseudo-intelectual attitude towards Dragon Ball Z that I inherrited, as I was growing up being sarcastic and critical towards media was attractive. The internet was full of an entire cultural landscape of Nostalgia Critics, and video game reviewers who couldn't help themselves when describing everything japan makes as outlandish and wild. Ever western cartoon I was exposed to would inevitably do a bit where they would have some godawful parody based on someone's surface level idea of anime. I think that attitude is alive and well today, quieter but buried in the hearts of a lot of people who are on their way from being young adults to becoming crotchety old farts. Ready to speak up and pressure others to find ways to apologize for liking something. After I finally grew to love Dragon Ball Z for what it was I also grew to deeply dislike the framework of judging media through quantitative statements. Better, worse, dumber, smarter, peak, cringe.

I've never thought of myself as a Dragon Ball fan, but I've grown to love it more and more. Dragon Ball is a series that will find a way to burrow into your heart one way or the other. After you give it that first bit of forgiveness you'll find yourself letting go of more and more of the unfair reasons you hated it.

I won't belittle Akira Toriyama by pretending he ever had to be a perfect author. And I won't diminish his work by describing it in all the boring stupid ways people are keen to use. Dragon Ball Z can't be described honestly by calling it a show where people just glow funny colors, yell for a whole episode, and then start punching each other and throwing energy blasts. The curtains aren't just blue and neither is SSGSS, unless you suddenly need things to be complicated in order for them to be meaningful. Dragon Ball Z is a show about how he inherit the love people have raised us with, the arrogance and pettiness of the powerful elite, disregarding the idea that what you are capable of has anything to do with how you were born, and how hateful people can be irrevocably changed by being forced to acknowledge the worth of a single kind idiot. It is also exceptionally emotional, uses presentation and escalating force to poke at all the right spots of the brain to make you excited and interested in a show of power you otherwise might never be so you can feel the same adrenaline rush and payoff Goku does, and watch the atmosphere of the fights warp and twist around the changing feelings in the hearts of both the combatants and onlookers. It rocks and if you think it's all an accident I can point you to a man who says "I like birds." and make you look like a moron.

Gonna start fucking crying now.

[mewtwoandme]

Speaking of DBZA Shadowtwo, do u think u might draw more Cell quotes in the future if given the opportunity?

Also would Lionel be Shadowtwo's Tenshinhan? :3

Oh probably, it'll be inevitable lol

And I don't know, I don't remember enough of Tenshinhan's character to confirm that. It's been a long time since I sat down and watched dbz abridged, or the actual show for that matter XD

[altocat]

If Team Four Star did CC, they'd make Genesis SO in character, yet somehow make him more annoying than he is in canon. I speak from experience because out of all the characters in their other abridged series, DBZA, Vegeta was one of the 5 characters who was just unchanged as a character yet ten times more unhinged. If Canon Genesis had a filter, then TFS would write him WITHOUT a filter.

They might have been able to actually endear him to a mainstream audience.

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 17 Review

Originally posted on Seotenber 25th, 2015

Zarbon’s not gay, and that’s pretty clever.

“A Lovely Bunch of Dragonballs” is an episode of Dragonball Z: Abridged that represents the greatest strengths of Team Four Star’s comedy. It is blindingly fast paced, with clever jokes coming one after the other each second, never giving the audience a break, and juggling three separate stories simultaneously without the episode ever feeling crowded, which not only is impressive on its own merit, but also shows the extent to which Team Four Star has refined their craft since the first season.

“Lovely Bunch” begins with a kind of cold open, which when I first saw it, legitimately caught me by surprise. Vegeta actually collecting all the Dragonballs and successfully wishing for immortality was absurd, and the reveal that it was all just a fever dream is a clever and funny twist that serves as a kind of irony, since it’s obvious to anyone watching that Vegeta’s quest for the Dragonballs couldn’t be anything but futile. And this dream is kept short, lasting for only thirty seconds before Zarbon comes to retrieve Vegeta and deliver him to the healing pods.

After Vegeta wakes up and begins the breakout, we go to Vegeta and Zarbon for a conversation that provides one of the funniest and most subversive twists of the show: that Zarbon is straight and has a girlfriend. The genius of this comes from Zarbon’s development to this point, as he has been portrayed as fitting perfectly into the stereotype of the “predatory gay,” as well as being incapable of speaking in anything but gay double entendre.

Yet here he stands, not only as a straight man with a girlfriend, but as a pretty decent boyfriend who cares enough to make early arrangements for their anniversary. He is the exact opposite of everything we and the characters have believed him to be, based solely on stereotypes surrounding his voice and manner of speech, and we are forced to reckon with Freeza that, to skip ahead to the second episode of DBZA Kai, “stereotypes are bullshit.” This is, I think, the sixth or seventh time I’ve watched this episode, and even now, I am still impressed with the depth and subtlety of Team Four Star’s subversion here.

And “Lovely Bunch” is only a third of the way over, continuing on from this brilliant moment to another brilliant sequence in which Vegeta gleefully sings as he steals the Dragonballs from Vegeta. Then we cut to Goku’s training, in which he geeks out at the possibility of fighting someone as destructive and powerful as Freeza, refusing to heed King Kai’s warning not to fight him.

The rest of the episode is spent of the three-way confrontation between Vegeta, Krillin, and Zarbon, and this sequence weaves together a thrice repeated joke about idiots flying around screaming, a jumpcut from one line to a related line elsewhere and then back to a related line where they started, and a reversal with Zarbon in which he accuses Vegeta of being too gay. It’s a lot of very ambitious comedy, and it all works wonderfully, coming together to form the best episode of Dragonball Z: Abridged I’ve reviewed yet.

Rating: 5/5

If you liked this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

And finally, the trend of the opening disclaimer being read by one of the characters begins. It’s one of the things I low-key look forward to every episode.

Ghost Nappa: “You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious.”

Freeza: “Appule couldn’t handle a shot of raspberry Schnapps, much less Vegeta!”

Zarbon: “Lord Freeza, Vegeta’s really giving us a pounding!” Freeza: “I’m coming, Zarbon. Grab my balls!”

King Kai: “Goku, I swear to God, I will ride your ass on this one!” George Takei: “Ohhh myyy.” King Kai: “Damnit Takei!”

Vegeta: “All I have to do is stay under the radar and not fly around like a jackass screaming-“ Krillin: “I’ve got a Dragonball!” Vegeta: “Well, I was gonna say come and get me Freeza, but that works too!”

Bulma: “Oh my God, he’s so hot. I just want to grab him and-“ Goku: “Sixty-nine. Seventy. Seventy-“ Vegeta: “One time you’ve defeated me.”

Vegeta: “I’m about to blow my load all over your insides. No homo.”

To the anon who asked, yes, when I first saw Dragonball Z: Abridged, I had never seen a full episode of the original show, and to this day, the most I have seen is up to around the 30th episode of DBZ Kai.

[shantechni]

You should absolutely binge DBZA again! It’s awesome! Are you caught up with the more recent stuff? Buu bits, Shortz, HFIL. And if you haven’t, do yourself a favor and watch Kaiser and Lani’s playthrough of Kakarot. They have hilarious moments like this

https://x.com/teamfourstar/status/1473790460007096320?s=46

Krillin’s voice especially compared to his original, right? 😂

Speaking of abridged shows, have you watched the one for Sword Art Online? It’s also really good

BRUH THE "You f**kin' my mom??" JOKE WILL ALWAYS BE FUNNY TO ME

I watched their Kakarot playthrough here and there, but I need to get around to actually watching it one of these days (same story with HFIL actually). I'll probably do that after I binge the entirety of DBZA again💀also I was on top of the Buu bits, made me wish so badly that they'd done entire episodes instead of clips, but those clips are golden. Gohan's screech of terror when Trunks launched that ki blast is one of my favorite jokes ever:

Also, this is the strangest part: as accustomed as I grew to hearing most other characters' abridged voices, I can actually separate Krillin's voices pretty easily in my mind. Whenever I go into the legitimate voices, I don't anticipate hearing his abridged voice like everyone else's lol. And I've seen a bit of SAO abridged, but that's another thing I need to set aside time for (which I solemnly swear to do someday🤞🏽).

[askfoxythejokerfox]

Montgomery Gator: *to Gregory* so what are you doing here? Gregory: OH! y-you know...playing around  Montgomery Gator: playing around? Gregory: playing around Montgomery Gator: thwarting my plans? Gregory: thwarting your plans?? Montgomery Gator: ARE YOU?? Gregory: *in a nervous tone* n-no? Montgomery Gator: good because that would be BAD Gregory:*in a nervous tone* h-how bad? Montgomery Gator: *eyes glow red* id have to KILL YOU Gregory: *scared now* th-that’s bad... Montgomery Gator: INDEED... (hours later) Montgomery Gator *hops off from the ceiling from one of his themed rides and says in a super aggressive tone* WHAT’S UP GUYS?!?! Glamrock Freddy: *to himself* im never going to get my pizza... Montgomery Gator: *twords Gregory in a super aggressive tone* SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!  Gregory: *nervous tone* what am i doing? Montgomery Gator: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! Gregory: *scared now* n-no-nothing much... Montgomery Gator: THWARTING MY PLANS?!?! Gregory: thwarting your plans? Montgomery Gator: ARE YOU?!?! Gregory: .....YES Montgomery Gator: *eyes turn dark red now* IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!

[setaflow]

More canon than the actual show

[moonclairvoyant]

Cell singing my way while dying is a mood

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Me, someone who has never watched an actual, non-abridged episode of Dragon Ball Z: I love Dragon Ball Z

[tenshindon]

I would like to share my terrible take on dbza. I think its funny, but only if you consume it in the same way you have to consume 50% Off (Free! abridged) which is a bunch of dudes hijacked some animation and made a completely different set of characters/story with it. As an actual abridgment of DBZ it is awful. If you take anything from it as even remotely canon or even relevant to the canon, you are a fool. You also have to put on your It's the Year 2008 Goggles to tolerate the first arc, and if you think it has aged well then you are a freak.

it's weird to have to watch a parody as though it has a completely different set of characters and story; imo the purpose of a parody is to jab at the original material, so you have to acknowledge the original setting to some extent- that's what makes it entertaining. i've never watched 50% Off so i can't comment on that, but in regards to DBZA they're not trying to differentiate it from actual DBZ- they're doing what you do as a parody and taking aspects people joke about and giving life to it.

a good parody is able to take something we enjoy and point out the ridiculous things about it, but in a manner that's tongue-in-cheek: we know this thing has a ridiculous aspect to it, but we can also acknowledge what actually happened- being able to find comedic aspects of something heightens our ability to enjoy it from multiple angles, especially if it's serious media (not saying DB is that at all of course, i'm speaking generally).

DBZA, personally, tries to exaggerate that 'ridiculous' aspect for its comedy- that what DBZA interprets is SO outlandish and out-of-character that it's funny. the problem is that DBZA has become such a big part of DB fandom culture, whether anyone wants to admit that happily or not. and with DB being- apparently- an intimidating franchise to get into, the majority aren't going to bother looking at the original material and they'll just take DBZA's interpretations at face value, or as truth in some right.

when it comes to letting jokes slide 'because of the era', i've personally never liked the excuse. just because the climate the joke was made in was more relaxed on those jokes, that doesn't mean they were good to make. i can agree on the beginning of DBZA being the worst of it though if i remember how it progresses correctly- later on, DBZA truly does start to feel more like a 'respectable' parody sometimes.

[sweetescapeartist]

Why do you think that MasakoX's what if stories are DBZA what-ifs with a hint of DB? Why don't you think they're DB what-ifs?

Imo, a "DB What-If" would not reference the Abridged series so often. MasakoX has an understanding of DB characters, but he often takes liberties with how he writes them. He's even said before that he takes some liberties in the writing. And those liberties seem to have DBZA influence.

Like how MasakoX speaks about the characters is often from a DBZA lense, how he does a DBZA type of voice for What-If Krillin as well as does space duck references, has What-If Goku call Vegeta "Getes" like in DBZA, he has What-If Vegeta say "Vegeta yes!" and the other references & quotes from the Abridged series he adds.

He probably takes a lot of inspiration from DBZA when doing his fics because many ppl identify him as "that guy who plays DBZA Goku." So, he plays into it either consciously or unconsciously.

All of that is why I say he does DBZA What-Ifs mixed with some DB. Personally, I'm not a fan of his What-Ifs, but that shouldn't stop somebody else from enjoying them.

But, his DBS anime & manga comparison videos? One in particular is pretty terrible and innacurate. But, that's a completely different subject.

[mewmewchann]

DFTH but it’s DBZA

Watch Dragon Ball Z Abridged this has been a PSA

aka Mew kinda had a lull in the creative department today and remembered how brilliant DBZA was and accidentally made too much of these so Idk just take this

~~

Rantaro: Think! What would dad do!? [flashback] Kenshiro: Bye, son! [present] Rantaro: ...I’m beginning to think I have issues.

~~

Kokoro: Speaking of, how’d your search go, guys? Haruto: Not great. Turns out Jasper is banned from over five hundred artillery and weapons stores. I don’t get it, how are you not on some kind of list!? Jasper: You think “Jasper Shion” is my real name?

~~

Rikona: And who’s this scrawny puke? Rantaro: I’m a foot and a half taller than you, but whatever. Rikona: What was that!? Rantaro: I said I can’t hear you from down there. Rikona: SPEAK UP, BOY! I CAN’T HEAR YOU FROM UP THERE!!!

~~

Haruto: Hey Jasper, we’re friends now right? Jasper: Fuck off. Haruto: The best.

~~

Jasper: ...Alright, what’s your gimmick? Kokoro: Gimmick? Jasper: Yeah, like the last guys. They were all unique Ultimate students and crap. What’re you? Saiko: Well if I were to choose I’d say I’m the pretty one. Jasper: Eh, six outta ten. Saiko: You sassy bitch. Jasper: Then that makes you the weird one with the freaky talent... Tsumugi: I make candy, that’s not freaky at a- Jasper: Spectacular. Then that no doubt makes you the optimistic and stupid one. Kokoro: You take that back or I’ll kill you! Jasper: Alright, alright. You aren’t optimistic. Kokoro: That’s better! Rantaro: Wait, didn’t you just-? Jasper: Give her a minute. Kokoro: Kokoro: HEY!!!

~~

Tsumugi: You think you’re better than me!? You’re nothing but an overgrown big brother complex! Rantaro: And you’re nothing but an overgrown that thing Kokoro keeps in her drawer!

~~

Rantaro: Okay first off, Jasper and I aren’t even dating. Rantaro: Second, I don’t even like him! Rantaro: Third, his motorcycle’s running out of fuel soon so god knows if he’ll ever make it back here- [LOUD CRASH] ... ... Jasper: I’M BACK, BITCHES!!!

~~

Haruto: Rantaro? What’re you doing here? Rantaro: Jasper threw me out for the night. He said he has a “booty call”. Rantaro: Last time he did this I found five corpses. Rantaro: ...He laughed when I said “five”.

~~

Jasper: ...Okay I think I got this one. Jasper: *points at Haruto* Pretty one Jasper: *points at Miko* Stupid one Jasper: *points at Rikona* One with weird talent. Miko: Hey! Miko: ...Well I appreciate the compliment, but I’d say I’m more handsome than pretty. Haruto: And my talent isn’t that weird! Rikona: *ENRAGED SCREECHING* Jasper: Jasper: Okay. I take it back. You’re all stupid.

(spoiler quotes under the cut)

Tsumugi: ...I need an adult... Slade: I am an adu- Tsumugi: No. No you are not.

~~

[trial 1] Amai: ...That reminds me. Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious? Jasper: ...Did...Did I what!? Amai: Did you. Do anything to me. While I was unconscious. Jasper: What!? No! GOD no! Amai: Oh thank GOD, I j- Amai: ...Wait. What do you mean by that? Am I not good enough for you!? Jasper: Alright Amai, I’m gonna be totally honest with you. This is sounding really straight.

~~

Rantaro: How...!? How the hell did you pull all this off!? Tsumugi: Oh, trust me. There's more than one way to realise the legend... [flashback to Tsumugi's audition] Tsumugi: I WANNA! I WANNA BE THE MASTERMIND! *slams the floor* I WANNA! *keeps slamming the floor* IWANNAIWANNAIWANNAIWANNAIWANNA!!!

~~

Slade: Are you kidding me!? This can’t be about the job! Slade: The first chance you had to drop this gig, you tried to hand it off to Kenshiro! Slade: KENSHIRO!!! Slade: HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK AFTER HIS OWN KID! I LOOK AFTER HIS KID MORE THAN HE DOES!!!

~~

Jasper: If I really am as evil as you say I am, then let god strike me down where I stand-! *lightning strikes him directly, but to no effect* Jasper: HAH! NICE TRY, JACKASS! Next time, give it your A-game!

~~

Kokoro: Now, Jasper, if that IS your real name- Jasper: It’s actually- Kokoro: IT’S ACTUALLY GARBAGE! And I’m gonna have to take out the trash! Jasper: Wait, you were serious!? You’re ACTUALLY gonna fight!?!? I thought you were just somebody’s hypeman! Kokoro: I AM THE HYPE!!! ... ... Rantaro, from the other side of the room: KILL HER!!!

~~

Tsumugi: Every fibre of my being wants to puke at once when I say this...But I need your heeeeh...I need your heeehhheeEEEHH... Rantaro: ...You...Need my help-? Tsumugi: That. Yes.

~~

[chapter 4] Haruto: This is a nice and happy moment. Haruto: It would be a real dick move to die right now. Haruto: Haruto: Hey is that a dead Monokuma-

~~

[at some point during chapter 4] Slade: Well that takes care of that. Flora: That reminds me, I wonder how Tsumugi’s doing? Slade, clicking a button on his phone: Let me just patch in and- [incoherent screaming comes in through the speaker] Slade: Slade: Sounds about right.

~~

Jasper: I’m impressed! Behind that all that eyeliner and the ridiculous hair, there’s a real fighter! Rantaro: AND BEHIND ALL THAT UNSUFFERABLE SMARM IS A DEAD MAN!!! Jasper: Oh, my love… Jasper: You couldn’t fathom the amount of dead men behind me.

~~

Tsumugi, through Slade’s phone: All these squares make a circle. All these squares make a circle. All these squares make a circle... Spec: ...Okay, what’s up with her? Slade: Don’t mind her, she just got done dropping a gallon of LSD. Spec: A GALLON!? Slade: A literal gallon. Out of a milk jug. I don’t even know where she got it from, she never leaves the- Tsumugi: SLADE! PLEASE TELL ME I CAN LEAVE THE ACADEMY IF I WANT TO! Slade: *sighs, brings the phone to his ear* Tsumugi, you can leave the academy if you- Tsumugi: BITCH DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! Slade: Spec: Tsumugi: Tsumugi: All these squares make a circle. Slade: ...Quite.

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 10 Review

A satisfying conclusion with plenty of jabs, jibs and a ghost whatnow?

While The Punchline has been split up into three parts, I will be reviewing and judging all three parts as a single episode within a single review. I will be giving out scores for each part just for posterity however, but only the overall score will be considered this episode’s actual rating.

In the cold open, Vegeta is absolutely thrilled over snapping Nappa out of existence, and Goku asks Krillin and Gohan to retreat while he deals with Vegeta. Krillin is already gone, screaming and crying. Gohan and Goku have a brief conversation about putting dinner on, because he's hungry. There might be some reference I'm not getting here, or if it's really just a face-value scene, but I think it would've been funnier if the title sequence had begun just after Krillin is shown running (flying) away to safety.

[Title Sequence, Part 1]

Goku and Vegeta opt to find a new battlefield, as the one where Nappa decimated the Z Fighters is a little "corpsey." King Kai starts taking bets on which of them is going to win, and even the Narrator tries to get in on that, despite already knowing the outcome.

The delivery on Vegeta's lines early on is not promising. I'm not sure if it's poor audio quality caused by a crappy microphone or if Lanipator was struggling with some kind of throat infection while recording these lines, but it's noticeable as there's a long extended conversation with a voice that sounds like sandpaper to the ears. I actually went back to check on the previous episodes to see if I was taking crazy pills, and no, Vegeta sounded just fine before. I have no idea what the reason or cause of this change might be, whether it was a deliberately different delivery or if they were rushing to put this episode out, but Vegeta sounds consistently more raspy in this episode than the gravelly deadpan to which I've become accustomed. For all I know, yelling as Vegeta might just by taxing on his vocal chords.

Putting the voice issue aside, Goku's oblivious lack of understanding for the word "elite" and the back and forth between the two of them works on the whole as a great scene.

"I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop."

I can't remember whether or not that's a reference, but I love the delivery on it. Vegeta has just finished dealing with Nappa and now has absolutely zero patience for someone just as braindead.

Sure enough, after being taunted about a cave full of gumdrops and ice cream, Vegeta drops the "That's it! EVERYONE DIES!" which might be one of my favorite things said in this episode, but it’s followed closely by:

"Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot." "Well that's not very nice." "OF COURSE NOT! I'M FUCKING EVIL!"

The dynamic here works astoundingly well. It's very different from Vegeta and Nappa's duo, but works on similar foundations. With Vegeta and Nappa, Nappa was the ridiculous one and Vegeta served as his anchor. With Vegeta and Goku, the roles are flipped and Vegeta is now the ridiculous one, screaming his head off in frustration and writhing around in the death throes of his pride, while Goku's complete obliviousness and innocence keeping him grounded as the anchor. Nappa was purposefully annoying because he was a bratty, childish mook, while Goku is just annoying by happenstance and being very, very hard to put down. It doesn't help that Vegeta actually wants to kill Goku, and unlike Nappa, he's having less than success with this one.

The overall production of the climatic beam struggle is surprisingly well executed, and is perhaps the best moment in this entire episode from a technical perspective. Goku speaking as he charges up the Kamehameha doesn't sound cheesy, canned or forced, and neither does Vegeta's delivery. The sound effects and music are also on point here. This is an important moment in the series and I'm glad they got it just right. I have no objections with anything here.

If anything, at about five and a half minutes in, the viewer has had enough time to adjust to Vegeta's new raspier voice and it no longer seems out of place. If he had been speaking "normally" up until this point, I probably would have criticized the delivery on these lines, but it almost feels like it fits on the whole now that this has been established as the "new normal" for the last five minutes. The main point I'm attempting and probably failing at making is that my original complaint was that the new voice took me out of the episode, but in this moment with the beam struggle, Vegeta's voice flows naturally and I honestly wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't just (as of now) dedicated two whole paragraphs of this review to JUST talking about how Vegeta sounds slightly different now.

Alright, now it's time to back up a tad, which isn't something I like to do a lot. Twice in this episode, Goku has used the Kaio-Ken and then the Kaio-Ken times three. The first time he used it, he seemed to at least match Vegeta. The second time he used it, he jobbed Vegeta straight into a rocky wall. But it's only good for a few seconds, so it has no sustain. It's essentially one really strong punch or a really quick beat down, but leaves Goku winded and struggling at the end of it.

The reason I didn't bring these up as they happened was because frankly the scenes didn't do enough for me to write about it. I write about what I feel is significant to my review to give context or explanation to my thought process, not to give a play by play. Simply put, they were funny, but nothing notable happened because of it. It was a quick skit, okay, move on. But it's now important to draw attention to those two moments, because while they did very little for me the first two times... Well, during this beam struggle, just as Vegeta feels like he’s gaining the upper hand, the dramatic music quiets to nothing but the sounds of the beams clashing, and all we hear is...

"Kaio-Ken..." Vegeta look on in horror.  "...No..." "Times..." "No no no..." "FOUR!"

Vegeta is sent skyward with a loud FFFFUUUUUU- and then twinkles like Team Rocket just blasted off again. Goku is the victor... of this fight at least.

Then there's an odd cutaway back to Roshi's island that's slow to start, but eventually got me to smile. It's all the characters from Dragon Ball reminiscing of times where they used to be relevant to the story. Guest appearance by Baba who almost doesn't appear in Z at all!

It initially felt like a bit of tone whiplash but it warmed up to me. And "Whatever happened to Launch?" actually got a laugh out of me. Seems like Toriyama isn't the only person who forgot about her.

I'm not sure what the point of this scene was, but I agree with the decision that after that climax, a break or calming down period in the tension it had built up was definitely necessary, even if the transition felt a little jarring at first.

"Meanwhile, back at the plot", which is an amazing segue, Vegeta gets off Mr Goku's Wild Ride and the beam continues on without him into the pink sky.

I don't think -UUUUUUCK! counts as an F-Bomb so it doesn't get censored. Booyah!

Vegeta then undergoes a post ass-kicking identity crisis. After devising a plan to turn into the mighty Ozaru, he then undergoes a where's-the-damned-moon crisis.

Good thing Blutz Waves are a thing. He yeets the artificial moon into the sky and boom, King Kong. The other King K attempts to coach Goku through dealing with this beast (that is canonically stronger than Captain Ginyu at this point) and advises Goku to find a safe, secluded location to charge up the Spirit Bomb.

Goku however decides to do it right out in the open. Just as Ape Vegeta's massive fist obliterates Goku, King Kai's crystal ball turns to static and gets the operator disconnected message. I think a dial tone would've been slightly funnier, but this has the same energy so I'll take it with no complaints. An excellent way to end the first part of this episode!

[Part 2]

This part begins with Goku hitting a rock so hard he thinks he's in Dragonball Evolution for a moment. After blinding Vegeta with a solar flare, which I'm still not entirely sure how that works or why people don't use it more often to get cheap surprise shots on blinded targets, Goku finds a quiet spot that he can use to charge the Spirit Bomb. He ends up borrowing so much energy from the planet that he may or may not have drained all the life from an old father deer. Dark, but morbidly hilarious.

Goku tries to fling the Spirit Bomb at Vegeta, but surprise: He's got a mouth laser! Knocks the Spirit Bomb right out of him and sends him tumbling against a rock.

"Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?" "Huh?" "Christopher Reeves!"

CRUNCH! The giant monkey stomps down right on Goku's legs, crushing and immobilizing him.

This is such a bad, good joke. I still think about this one from time to time. And honestly, considering how I started binge-watching these in high school (where I more or less developed into an entirely different person), this joke here might very well be the genesis of my love for black humor. I'm fully willing to admit I'm biased on this, but I think this is one of the funniest dark jokes in DBZA, full stop. If not the whole series, then at least within Season 1. Don't care, evil.

Just as he's about to be crushed for good, Goku shoots a quick energy blast into Vegeta's eye, causing him to stagger backwards. This is where Goku makes his cunning escape, dodging, weaving and doing aerial acrobatics around the massive monkey man, accompanied by victorious fanfare. Or not. Goku's legs are still broken. But it's nice to just imagine how cool that would’ve looked, y’know?

Vegeta then decides he's just going to squeeze the life out of Goku, and his screams can be heard well into the distance, all the way to Krillin and Gohan.

The giant monkey keeps squeezing Goku until he squeaks like a rubber ducky, or a chew toy. He does it again, and another squeak.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious."

In the middle of squeaking Goku relentlessly, Gohan decides to make a stand, having blown back to fight Ape Vegeta. He gives a verbose speech that culminates in "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." and then strikes a fighting pose like his five year old ass is going to do anything against a fifty foot behemoth. Battle gong and everything playing in the background.

Vegeta just stares at Gohan, and then after a pause, squeaks Goku again. This has delightfully petty energy to it, especially coming from Vegeta.

While Gohan has caught Vegeta monologuing, Krillin attempts a sneak attack on Vegeta, but he effortlessly humiliates him and thwarts his efforts by simply hopping over the Kienzan that was coming from behind.

However, he couldn't anticipate two sneak attacks. That or Yajirobe was simply that unlikely of a hero, but here he comes sword and all to save literally everyone's lives as he slices Vegeta's tail clean off his rump.

With no more tail, Vegeta regresses to his original Saiyan form. He's no less dangerous, however, and just as Krillin tries to bring the hype, he gets immediately pinballed into the nearest rocky structure and the owned count strikes 9.

The writing on Vegeta's speech following this is actually quite good. "I thought I'd be angrier" is not a take I expected from someone who's had such major meltdowns and cataclysmic conniptions thus far. It does a good job of illustrating how far down the rabbit hole we've gone, to the point where he has become so angry that he's encountered a stack overflow.

Goku and Gohan have a touching moment, both broken, beaten and bloody, but as they share a heart to heart, and their hands extend towards one another's like a Michelangelo painting, Vegeta comes in like a good fiend and gives Goku a killer knee-shot to the ribs. You have to wait for the right moment!

They immediately cut away to an intermission, which they never do in any other episode, but honestly it fits here. The alternative would be to end the episode here and we've still got another three minutes and some change to go. It's an arbitrary production joke but it's necessary and well done for the scene as a whole so it gets a pass and then some from me.

When we resume, Vegeta and Gohan duke it out, which provides a convenient distraction for Goku to hand off part of the Spirit Bomb to Krillin. It turns out he'd been saving some of the earth juices from when he got the snot knocked out of him earlier, but only a little bit of it. Krillin is confused as to why Goku would trust him of all people with it, and Goku concedes that his back is kind of against the wall on this one.

With a yipee-kay-yay and a booyah motherfucker, Krillin lobs the Spirit Bomb Lite at Vegeta, who simply jumps Krillin’s attack for the second time. Maybe aim a little higher next time, or better yet don’t loudly announce your attacks. Not that anyone in this series would understand that concept anyways.

Now the Spirit Bomb is heading straight for Gohan. But it's okay because Gohan is a main character, so he just Uno Reverse Card’s the Spirit Bomb off his hands and it sproings upwards towards Vegeta once more.

Side note, I don't think it's ever explained, either in the abridged or the original series, how Goku is able to communicate telepathically with Gohan. Yes, Master Roshi says in Dragon Ball that "any highly skilled martial artist can read minds" but does that just mean reading minds or actually communicating between them? And if that's the case, why doesn't Goku use this more often? I could probably find at least one plot point that could've been avoided by this, but the answer is probably extremely simple. Goku is a moron. It's very easy to explain away forgetfulness or inconsistent writing when you can just default to saying that your main character is an idiot who forgot he could do those techniques that you forgot existed as a writer. Don't think about it too much I guess.

"What smells like deer?"

I’ve actually missed this joke every single time I've watched this episode so far, except for just now, when I watched it to write this review. The old father deer from before! That is such a cool and unexpected callback.

Anyways, Vegeta gets punked by the Diet Spirit Bomb and goes sailing into the sky. The Z Fighters - which is now just Goku, Gohan and Krillin - are ecstatic in celebration.

"It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again."

Cue Vegeta's lifeless body ragdolling to the ground with a meaty thwap. Krillin tempts fate by approaching the body, and that goes as expected. Vegeta opens one eye and screams. Then the others all start screaming.

Very weird production mis-step or weird decision with the source footage here. Vegeta's face at least moves, but because all the others have panning shots, they freeze in weird, awkward positions. The action lines don't move, some characters aren't fully in frame, and it's very obviously a still image instead of  something like a loop. Maybe this is just what they had to work with. Still, very immersion breaking. Though honestly, I'm almost glad that if something like this had to happen in this part, it was at least in the last ten seconds.

Goku is confused because he can't move. I mean, they won right? Why is everyone screaming.

[Part 3]

This part begins immediately with Krillin getting bitch slapped, earning a 10/10 on the owned counter. Vegeta then decides he has had exactly enough of everyone and everything, and goes for the nuclear option.

Fortunately for our heroes, Vegeta has been so worn down, battered, sent through the ringer, and has suffered so much damage to that one eye in particular, that he doesn't have enough energy left to kill everyone all at once. Instead, he opts to get his hands dirty and cut them each of them down one at a time. Speaking of cut, here comes Yajirobe with his sword. It can pierce through Vegeta's armor, which is wonderful news but ultimately pointless. However, it serves as an excellent distraction.

Remember that fake moon? Remember how Vegeta only returned to normal form because his tail was amputated? Remember earlier how Piccolo had to destroy the Earth's actual moon because Gohan was a rampaging Donkey Kong lunatic? Well guess who just woke up staring right at that fake moon in the sky.

Lacking any barrels in the vicinity, Ape Gohan decides to throw around some rocks.

Goku, again, reaches to him telepathically and reminds him not to go on a rampage killing everyone.

"Remember Icarus? He did it."

Now, purely within this episode, this isn’t an issue. It’s a funny haha moment. However, this scene gets a little more irritating or perplexing once you’ve seen some of the DBZA movies. This knowledge did hamper my enjoyment of this scene on rewatch. However, that ultimately isn’t fair to this episode as a stand alone product, and my gut instinct of “My knowledge of episodes that came out well after this one retroactively makes this episode worse!” is also something I try tooth and nail to avoid. So I’m going to talk about this for a bit and get it out of my system so I can approach it fairly.

Simply put, Icarus is a headache. He's Gohan's friend and pet dragon of sorts, for like three random movies, some episodes of Z and then never gets mentioned again. Goku implies that Vegeta is responsible for Icarus' death, despite the fact that Icarus is still alive at some point after Goku defeats Freeza. I would normally take up the stance of “okay, let’s ignore the official canon / non-canon and just stick to DBZA” but he ALSO features in the DBZA movie Cooler’s Revenge, so this is multiple layers of crazy. 

I understand that DBZA exists primarily as a form of parody and thus prioritizes humor and “working with what you’ve got” over some things a harsh anal-retentive person might deflagrate them for (cough cough) and are not afraid to contradict themselves on points of little significance for the sake of humor. I also don’t think they had any long-standing plans to incorporate Icarus into Z at the time this episode was made - They may have simply wanted to make a joke about the DBZ equivalent of Poochie the Dog from Itchy & Scratchy.

Like I said, Icarus is headache. However, simply in this moment and nothing else, I do feel it works. It’s shows a cute dragon geting exploded. Who couldn’t feel bad for this poor random dragon that I totally haven’t ever seen before? It also works within the story itself -  Gohan gets sufficiently angry, and Vegeta starts treading the tightrope of desperation. 

Gohan's Ozaru form isn't long lived however, as Vegeta suddenly learns the Kienzan and slices his tail off with it. Small problem though, Gohan was airborne, and the regression back to a normal Saiyan form is not instantaneous. His massive body looms over him, and with a Big NO, Vegeta go splat.

He's down but not out. He at least has enough energy to call for his Space Uber to come and pick him up. As he's crawling hands and knees into his escape pod, Krillin suddenly decides he wants to be important, and appears with Yajirobe's sword, poised to strike. 

Vegeta is understandably terrified, because after the day Krillin's had, he's gone full ride or die mode and isn't about to wait on an invitation to go full Thanksgiving turkey on this maniac.

However, Goku wants the pacifist ending and gives a very simplified version of the original speech to Krillin. If he's sorry, we have to let him leave. Because that's what being a good boy is all about. It's noteworthy that one of my all-time favorite Vegeta quotes happens right here in the original dub.

"When I come back to this planet, you're all going to suffer. And when you beg me for mercy, I'll stare into your eyes as I crush the life out of you."

However in this version, we're treated to "Yes, I'm very very sorry. Sorry that you're all still alive, suckers!"

And honestly, both versions are fitting for their respective interpretations of Vegeta.

As we pan out, the narrator waxes on the victory of the heroes and how he made bank from his bet with King Kai. Next time, don't make bets with the narrator you stupid idiot. Big dumb idiot god. 

I'm writing this at close to 4am if you couldn't tell. Scheduled uploads!

"Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of Dragon Ball Z Abridged!"

And that's it folks! Well, almost. We have one final scene to go through first.

Vegeta is hurdling through space in his Saiyan pod, lamenting his laundry list of losses and failures, but at least concedes that his situation cannot get worse. But we all know what happens to people who tempt fate.

"Vegeta... VEGEEEEEETA..." "Wh-What?" *DING* "I'm haunting you."

And thus, we've reached the end of Season 1! The Ghost Nappa song plays and the outro credits roll.

Conclusion

First off, definitely a longer review than I'm used to writing. Secondly, this was a great three-parter. I wasn't sure if the format would hold up like it does for single segment episodes, but it does. Now I'm sure there are bad episodes to come in the future, but for now I'm happy that the last three or four episodes have all scored relatively high. TFS is going into Season 2 with some great foundations built upon their older, more crude material, and they still have a lot of room yet to improve. I should consider being more critical with this next season as the expectations will be higher!

There’s one noteworthy gripe I have with each of these three parts, but only one worth writing about. -Vegeta suddenly sounding different, as if I didn't talk about that enough. I swear I'm not taking crazy pills. -Weird freeze frames at the end of Part 2. -Icarus, simply because he messes with me on a personal level. This fucking dragon doesn't make any god damned sense.

Other than that, I liked it. I don't know if I'd say "I loved it" but for the series as a whole, we're getting there at breakneck speed.

The first part had some great back and forth interactions with Goku and Vegeta, both the dialogues and the beam struggle, while the second part had more stand-out moments with just Vegeta, from the squeaking Goku, to the "I thought I'd be angrier" speech, his perfectly timed knee to ribs, and the famous last words "What smells like deer?"

The last part... didn't actually have much of this. I didn't find the talk about Vegeta’s father to be terribly funny and nothing else he said was extremely stand-out like in the previous two parts. This part didn't so much have humor as it was the "let's wrap things up" segment. Most of the noteworthy moments happen close to the tail end. I will admit, even ten years later, I still got a little sentimental hearing that outro from LK, and let's not sleep on Ghost Nappa. They may have done you dirty in Kai 3 but we still love you!

Overall, I'm happy that this was as good as I remembered it. I found jokes I didn't pick up the first few times, flaws that I didn't know existed, and a new appreciation for some subtle details that may have glossed over me while I was busy laughing about Christopher Reeves.

Part 1: 75 Part 2: 78 Part 3: 72

Score: 75

Passing Thoughts

"Kaio-Ken!" "Kaio-What?"

Small error on my part - Piccolo blows up the moon in Episode 4, and in my review of that episode, I mistakenly attribute a scene from this episode to DBZ Kai Abridged.

"I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should." - And like that, Vegeta has suddenly become relatable.

"Thank God, I thought he meant penis!"

"Time to crush you like an Arlian." "A what?" "Exactly."

"I haven't killed a damned thing since I got to this god-forsaken planet! Not for lack of trying mind you."

[quickboot]

DBZ Abridged just... ruined my perception of Nappa. My husband has been playing Dragon Ball Fighterz constantly and I'm disappointed every time Nappa speaks, because he's so much less fun in canon than in DBZA.