#spare nuance? can anybody spare some nuance?

[something-about-sunflowers]

The fact that some people seem to think Ed was genuinely healing during the breakup-robe era and that Izzy is what made him swing so hard into the Kraken is literally driving me insane.

Was he trying? Maybe. More likely he was in denial and repressing the worst of it. Which is why, when it did all explode, it hit more like a nuke than a firework.

But like. If he was healing at all, he wasn’t nearly at the stage some people seem to think he was. He wouldn’t have been capable of becoming the Kraken if he had been, regardless of how ‘mean’ Izzy was being (’mean’, god this is fucking ridiculous, they’re pirates, they’re all mean Izzy’s just blunt).

No, Izzy didn’t help. He threatened to leave, he reminded Ed of the necessity of Blackbeard (no -- shut the fuck up -- listen to me, Blackbeard is important. Izzy doesn’t just want him back because he’s horny for violence not opening that can of worms but god is that read twenty types of wrong too. Blackbeard is their meal-ticket, he’s their armor. At this point, nobody wants to risk going up against Blackbeard, and there’s safety in that. In such an dangerous profession, whatever safety you can get is absolute necessity.), he brought up the one thing that was hurting him the most, in a particularly painful way.

But he didn’t make him do anything. Ed has his own agency. For the love of christ please stop infantilizing Ed for the sake of demonizing Izzy. And just. In general. He’s not, and has never been, a precious uwu baby who has never hurt people or wanted to. He’s fucking Blackbeard and you don’t get to be Blackbeard if you don’t ‘love a good maim’.

It does such a disservice to the character to pin all his faults on Izzy. It flattens them both (and Stede too, since, if it’s all Izzy’s doing, he doesn’t have to reckon with Ed’s fucked choices and how he feels about them).

[strangelittlestories]

It was in the 6th year of the Wars of the Real that the anti-magicians and their Realis project (that all should act in accordance with certain physical laws) were truly challenged. This was due in no small part due to a singular invention from a family of forest witches.

Their discovery was as ingenious as it was stupid. And it radically changed what a disparate collective was able to accomplish in the face of both overwhelming force and abstract certainty.

It also caused a truly historic amount of epic shitfuckery.

From “I Fought the Spore and the Spore Won: a history of Realis and Resistance”

- - -

“So, you’re the new recruit, huh?” The woman who spoke wore strange armour that looked like it had been grown out of wood. The helmet alone glinted with metal spikes.

“I … uh, I guess? Sorry, I’m kinda new to this whole ‘magical kingdom’ deal you’ve got going on here…” The recruit in question was wearing dull red overalls and a ‘what-the-fuck’ expression.

“No worries, kid. We put out a multiversal call for aid - so anybody with a latent magical destiny or a strong subconscious hero fantasy got pulled in. Very much a ‘To Whom It May Concern’ type of spell.” 

She patted him on the shoulder. Up close he could see that the spikes on her helmet were actually the shards of a broken crown.

“So, uh, do I get any kind of training?”

“You already did, buddy. The spell should’ve planted a ‘potential seed’ inside you. When you’re exposed to trauma, then just in the nick of time it’ll suddenly sprout into the skills you need to survive. Very dramatic.” She paused for a second. “Or you’ll die. Also very dramatic.”

“So … either I’ll be awesome or I’ll die?”

“Well, you would die … unless you have one of these.” She threw him a small vial. He fumbled the catch, but grabbed it on the second try. Inside the vial swirled a glowing grey-green mist. “You catch a mortal wound, drink it. Or smash it on the injury. The fungus inside will patch you up.”

“Fungus?” The man was a pretty even split of horrified and fascinated. He simultaneously wanted to throw the vial away like poison, or guzzle it like forbidden candy.

“Yeah, you ever hear of ‘ophiocordyceps unilateralis’?”

“The weird zombie ant mushroom? Yeah, I saw it on a documentary!”

“Well, a family of witch-mycologists - real wyrd scientist types - they brewed up this variant in their forest. They turned it from a parasite to a symbiote. If it knows who you are, it’ll heal your wounds, get your heart pumping, even move your limbs for you.”

“How do I get it to know who I am?”

“You feed it.” She grinned ghoulishly. “Chuck in some hair, some blood, whatever bits of you are going spare. Anything to sync it up to your DNA. Think of it as your very own cannibal sourdough starter.”

“And people actually use this?”

“Oh yeah. Folks swear by the stuff. They even had an argument over what nickname it should have. The winner was the truly cursed phrase ‘resurrection juice’.”

“...really?”

“Oh yeah. The juice brigade are pretty smug it caught on. Some smart alec tried to give it a mushroom name, but they got one-upped by the juice thing.”

“I’m not sure I’m a fan of sharing my body with a fungus.” He tried to find the right words to articulate the niggling philosophical nuances of the idea and failed. “It feels like, I dunno, a bad idea?”

“Oh, it’s a terrible idea. A real crock of stupid. Pure idiot-fuel. But sometimes, when the world’s against you, the truly bad idea is the only one you have.”

“But, I mean, once the fungus takes over … would I still even be me?” The urge to gobble up the taboo canape had begun to be edged out by the existential dread.

“Look at it this way: you’d be mushroom food anyways, right? Why not let it be mushrooms who think they’re you? I think it’s kinda comforting that when the time comes, I can just relax and let fungus take the wheel.”

The man paused for a second, pondering the nature of life, decay, and resurrection.

“Anyways, they’ll be summoning the portal to pipe us out on our first mission soon. So best get ready.” The princess (for that’s what she was) thought for a second, then asked: “By the way … what did you do before you got sucked up into this particular asscrack, anyhow?”

The man gulped.

“I was a plumber.” He said.

[olderthannetfic]

What you mentioned, about the shift to phones and how it affects the ease of writing good content..

"Consuming writing can still be easy, depending on formatting and such, but posting a long, detailed reply often isn’t."

Do you have any more thoughts/posts on that? I tried searching through your blog with similar keywords, but didn't find anything, and it seems to me like you're onto something very important here

--

I can never find anything on my blog either. Haha.

The internet is more accessible now, which is good. I do like that and want to highlight it, even if it has come with some big downsides.

Back in the day, most people were logging on from desktop computers and real keyboards. That's a huge barrier to entry for multiple reasons, but one of the good things it does produce is that a person is often there for more in-depth interactions rather than for a high volume of low-impact ones. If they're touch typing on a real keyboard, it's a lot easier and faster to produce the kinds of long-ass replies I write on here. I've even bought multiple portable bluetooth keyboards because I'm such a fast touch typist and typing on phones or even the ipad keyboard interface is so infuriating. There are certainly people who type much faster on phones than I do, but the top speeds one can achieve that way are still slow compared to good touch typing.

If you're standing in line somewhere, dicking around on your phone, you can read fic if the site adapts properly to phone screen width. You might be reading something just as in-depth and interesting as anybody ever did: fiction, journal article, whatever. If you've got a decent memory, you can use little bits of spare time during the day to make it through something quite complex. Or something long and escapist. Whatever.

But when it comes time to type a response? I think a lot of people either opt for the bon mot, which can take time to compose but not much to type, or they think "I'll get back to that later when I'm at my computer". And the bon mot is clever, but it's rarely nuanced.

If you're more of a phone native, seeing well-crafted writing and not much in the way of comments and discussion furthers the already strong Content Creator-Audience divide. That's the default form of internet culture lately, whereas in the 90s, it was more about DIY communities with more and less talented/famous/popular members. Let's not pretend there weren't popularity contests even then, but things were still different in terms of one pool with a sliding scale vs. two separate kinds of people.

I think a person can write good content on a phone just like they can in all sorts of adverse circumstances. But the more natural way to use a phone a lot of the time is to scroll through things or continue reading something you're in the middle of. These are activities that make sense when your bus ride is only 20 minutes or you've got 5 minutes before class or you're standing in line at a store. Typing something long or using voice to text or whatever isn't really the most natural use of that time no matter how good a writer you are.

I also find, personally, that composing takes more concentration, quiet, and privacy on average than consuming. I can read a fic or knit a few rows on something I'm already working on just about anywhere, but if I want to write fic or cut out and sew up a big pattern, I need quiet time at home, and that's much harder to come by.

[raveneira]

Warning: Anti BoruSara, KawaSumi, KawaAda, if you ship any of these then obviously dont read, you've been warned.

Just gonna throw this out there cuz its been a while and antis have gotten a lil too overconfident so Im just gonna give a little reality check and some hope to the fandom since its our month right now and so Im here to spread some positivity for our month, since I know antis would love to try and ruin it for us, I aint gon let em.

As much as antis will try to convince you guys that KawaSara is dead yatta yatta yatta dont buy it, its all gaslighting, their using the unknown to try and pretend its something definitive when there isnt

They try to tell you they hate eachother yet wheres any panel that shows this? when have either of them said they hate eachother? you wont find anything because it doesnt exist, they base it solely on the fact that they got mad over a disagreement [which Boruto did too but nobody said they hated eachother] and that he 'tried to kill her' [which he didnt it was a sparring match and he flat out says he wasnt tryin to kill anybody] and then their conflict in 78, which still doesnt count as Kawaki trying to kill her, he tried to SPARE her cuz his only target was Boruto, he told her not to intervene and she did anyway, and even after saying he was only giving her one chance he STILL gave her another chance to live instead of killing her and Boruto both, which he didnt have to do if he genuinely wanted to kill em both.

They try to use the timeskip chapters thus far as proof they hate eachother but notice how the timeskip conveniently hasnt let them interact at all let alone really even mention eachother? so how are antis convinced theres this deep hatred and hostility between them when they havent even interacted or said how they feel about eachother at this point in time?

And lastly they try to use their lack of interaction as a gotcha as well, but literally SS had the same exact issue, in case ppl forgot Sakura was away and didnt interact with Sasuke for 3 yrs straight, Sasuke was their enemy at the time and he had chosen to walk the dark path, and after their first reunion their interactions since then were few and far between and yet their an endgame ship, so why is it different for KawaSara? and the difference is Kawaki and Sarada actually have an even bigger advantage than SS did because they've been together in the same village for those entire 3 years, they very well could've had plenty of interactions off screen we're unaware of for all we know.

But antis will try to convince you that all of this is a bad thing, that this is all a ship ender, that theres no chance at all and its too far gone etc etc but like I said this is all gaslighting bs.

KawaSara isnt dead, far from it, and the reasons antis use for why the ship is sunk are all bs, they simply use the unknown [the assumption of no interaction, the assumption of them hating eachother, the assumption that Sarada doesnt/wont forgive Kawaki etc] but if you take a moment to really think about their points [or lack thereof] you'll see its them forging a narrative out of their own theories rather than whats actually canonly stated.

You could easily take Sasuke stabbing Naruto in the heart and nearly choking him to death as him hating Naruto and genuinely wanting him dead, but obviously that isnt the truth and we all know it, but could you make that argument? yea if you just look at everything at face value you can argue everytime Sasuke tried to kill Naruto it was out of hate and genuine want for him to be dead cuz he couldnt stand him, but again we all know thats false.

Its the same for KawaSara, you can easily argue at face value that they hate eachother based on surface level reading like 'he tried to kill her, they argued with eachother, they got into a fight, that means they hate eachother' but anybody with critical thinking skills and being objective can tell that no, thats not the case, theres way more nuance than that.

So anyway to cap this off, dont let the antis get to you and dont fall for their bs, their gaslighting you with the unknown because their scared of what their ACTUAL thoughts and feelings about eachother actually are and WHAT kind of interactions they possibly had over this time and what interactions they WILL have in the future, so heed my words when I tell you this...

Their not confident in the unknown they try to gaslight you with, their actually terrified of it, because literally anything could happen right now and they know it and it scares the hell out of them because just as Ikemoto could reveal that yea they despise eachother now, he could also reveal their actually cordial but Sarada obviously doesnt agree with his methods and is working against him regardless, no different than Naruto and Sakura disagreeing with Sasuke and working against him.

Im not claiming to know exactly where the story is headed [unlike some ppl] but I can make educated guesses based on experience and knowledge of many tropes and how their used etc but thats a topic for another post.

In conclusion, dont let them fool you by pretending that they have the upper hand here, they dont and they know it, until we get any real info/insight on whats happened between Kawaki and Sarada over this timeskip its anybodys game at this point so dont lose hope and dont listen to the haters.

Trust me when I say its not over yet, I cant convince you to believe me, but I hope you can atleast trust my judgement because I havent been wrong yet, and if you think I have well just look at this old bingo card I made way back about what would be changed/removed in the anime and how much of it I actually got right vs what I didnt

This was early in the Kawaki arc btw that I wrote these, completey forgot about I had made it, came across it again months later and realized just how much I got right.

So if yall think you cant trust my prediction skills, heres one more bit of evidence of my accuracy

This was after the Boruto death chapter and everyone was theorizing how everyones gonna react to his 'death' etc and I saw from a mile away none of that was gonna happen and it was all gonna be resolved and sped past in a single chapter tops and rushed right into the next plotline and guess what? I called all of that, only thing I didnt get exactly right was the Kawaki and Hina and Hima thing since they didnt even show him interacting with them after that so...didnt exactly get it wrong, it just wasnt shown so we dont know what happened between them fr fr.

I have more moments of me calling the future but this gets the point across enough, I cant force you to trust me nor am I trying to, just saying if you were unsure if you could just take my word for it like those 'trust me bro' sources, I wanted to assure you that Im not and that I really DO be knowing what Im talking about.

Anyway, its up to you from here, trust me or dont trust me if you want, but just know antis are only talkin shit like they are now because their scared now more than ever but hey dont take my word for it, lets see how this goes.

Note: How does any of this relate to Ksu and Kda? because antis insisted Sumire was gonna fake liking Kawaki because of omnipotence to hide from Ada that shes unaffected only for her not to hide it at all, and antis tried to argue that Kawaki and Ada will work together now and he'll get closer to her over time only for them not to be working together in the slightest and for them to be just as distant as they were before. So yea all the negative things they try to gaslight you with for KawaSara, their doing so as a smoke screen so you dont see how their bs is actually slippin through the cracks.

[productsreviewings]

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type cable knit sweater within the film Knives Out, males have been in search of that look. There is a uncommon combo of trendy and comfy achieved by a beefy cable knit sweater, which is why they have been a elementary a part of winter menswear for therefore lengthy that they are timeless type. Cable-knit sweaters are applicable for nearly any event. Better of all, they're simply actually cozy. It is like strolling round wrapped up in your favourite broken-in wool blanket all day. How A lot Does a Good High quality Sweater Price?This is determined by what sort of sweater you are searching for. You will get a superb high quality, easy crewneck cotton sweater for lower than $75. If you'd like a pleasant chunky 100% lambswool cable-knit sweater, that's going to run someplace between $100 to $150 vary and up from there. Then there are greater high quality materials like cashmere and alpaca, that are costlier. A superb high quality cashmere sweater goes to value a minimum of $200 from a conventional retailer, however there are new direct-to-consumer manufacturers that promote good cashmere for underneath $100. #Sweaters #Elevate #Winter

[ramiel-enthusiast]

@valkyriav wanted to see a sasukes motivations meta so here is the abridged version of my understand of sasukes feelings towards konoha

prior to obito revealing the truth about the massacre sasuke is indifferent to konoha but after he learns about what the elders did he wanted to kill them. he made a point to mention that he wanted to spare the people, but unfortunately as his mental health plummets he wants to kill the villagers because they willingly lived in a corrupt, evil village and never spoke out against it.

after sasuke gets his new eyes, he meets up with edo itachi. his conversation with itachi makes him realize that there is a LOT more nuance to how villages/clans/etc work. because of this, he decides that "kill everyone" isnt a viable plan, so he makes orochimaru revive the hokage so they can have a socratic seminar about it. he vibes with hashirama because he seemed to have the best world view and best intentions out of all of them so he decides to incoperate some of hashirama's beliefs into his plan for konoha. this is the basis for his final plan

his final plan is a little vague and strangely worded heres my interpretation.

sasuke comes to the conclusion that konoha is a fucked up place, but a good hokage is capable of getting rid of its evil. sasuke decides that he would be the best hokage and that he would make all the important choices. these important choices include (but are not limited to 😉):

killing the 5 kage

killing the tailed beasts

"destroying" the past (i still have no clue wtf this means)

revolution 🥵

and the reason why he says that he will bare all the evil things isnt because he wanted everyone to hate him, but rather that he wanted to create a world where he was the only person that had to do morally questionable things. he wanted to be the Guy Who Kills Bad People so everyone else doesnt have to kill anybody.

then after vote2 he dumps all of his beliefs in the trash because he decides that he wants to be friends with naruto again 😔

[saucerfulofsins]

Starting with @softgrantaire’s post yesterday, I have been seeing a lot of discussion surrounding the place of trans people in hockey fandom on Tumblr. Parts of his original post and the discussion emanating from it is undeniably necessary, and I do think that continuing the discussion on better representation benefits everybody in fandom. However, to me, some of the assumptions made are troublesome. I have spent a long time thinking on this, I have discussed this with some friends, and I do not think I can stay quiet because I really, really think that this discussion has become very black/white while nuance is 100% necessary in this case. I am also not seeking to attack anybody—feelings of discomfort are entirely valid and I will never say something else. However, if we are talking about being critical of fandom, I do think it is important to start with ourselves and look at where our discomfort comes from rather than only holding other people accountable.

To start, I need to address the persistent use of “terf.” Terf does not mean “excluding trans people from any given space,” which is how I currently see it being used. Terf means “trans-exclusionary radical feminist,” and denotates a specific kind of transphobia that seeks to claim trans men are women, and trans women are men.  Subsequently, they feel that trans women have no space in female spaces (e.g. they believe trans women should use men’s bathrooms). A terf would thus never say that a trans man does not belong in a female space, because a terf believes that trans men are women and therefore do belong there.

In fact, I have not seen anybody deny that trans men exist. In the discussion trans men are treated as men—which is only valid, given the fact that they are. A trans man has no reason to demand different rights from a female community than a cis man (I will get back to this later). A trans man (who in this context is someone who fills a male societal role/passes) has the same societal privileges a cis man does. This is inherent to being male.

This is also one of my main issues with the initial post: “trans men” are persistently differentiated from “men.” The demand is not to promote equality, it is a call for women to allow trans men into their space. And yes, I understand that transgender men are marginalized—but so are BIPOC men, and so are gay men, and so are disabled men. So if you are striving for equality on that level, wording is certainly something to consider—because currently, the argument, to me, sounds like “trans men are different from cis men” when to many FtM, a large part of being transgender is not wanting to be differentiated. In fact, the women who want a safe space for themselves on Tumblr don’t exclude trans men because they are trans, they exclude trans men because they are men.

The trans/men differentiation seems to promote misunderstanding and a black-and-white thinking: either trans/men are accepted in fandom, or they are not. A fandom is safe to all, or it is not. A fandom caters to all, or it does not. That is not how a fandom works, however—and it never has.

This leads me on to my second major point: Both the initial post and subsequent responses discuss “hockeyblr” as a single community when in fact it comprises many different people with many different interests and reasons. To give some examples: they support different teams and/or players, they do not ship or they ship player/player and/or player/self-insert, they primarily focus on the fandom side or on the hockey side, and so forth.

Thus. Can fandom-as-whole be more inclusive? Absolutely. Is it good to reflect on why you make the choices you make (e.g. someone writing skinny white cis female self-inserts as opposed to including BIPOC, different bodies and different genders; someone writing male/male; someone writing mpreg or genderswap). At the same time, however, I think it is so fucking important to primarily keep toxic hockey culture accountable for your discomfort. Both trans and female fans’ primary discomfort germinates from that, not from interaction with each other. But trans discomfort and female discomfort are not the same, particularly if we are discussing trans men.

Subsequently—I believe that it is okay if someone wants to run a blog that does seek a female audience and does revolve around that. Women do deserve a safe space; if they wish to keep to a corner of the fandom which is female-only, there is no reason for men to demand access to that side of fandom. Different groups can exist side-by-side. Not everything is for everybody.

I also think that men who wish to see more inclusivity in fic need to reflect on why women need to write more gnc/nb/transgender fic. I do not think this is transphobic; it has nothing to do with a “dislike of or prejudice against transgender people.” There is no inherent negative attitude, merely a group of women writing what they want to read. And subsequently, for me, this maps onto the general fandom rule of “if you want to read it, and it doesn’t exist, write it yourself.” This is even more true if you discuss something as complex as gender identity; while it may be possible to write a fic not entirely focused on gender, gender is often still a big part of a romantic relationship and it (unfortunately) certainly is a large part in how society treats different people. Moreover, this would have been a different argument if people were writing for money and refusing to write transgender characters for no good reason, but the vast majority (if not all) of hockeyblr’s writers do so for free, in their spare time, for their own fun.

So absolutely, yes, educate people on trans experiences. Yes, make people aware that there are more experiences beside cis female/male or cis male/male. Discuss the issues of representation that exist within fic, whether that is self-insert or mlm, whether it is gender-related or ethnicity-related or anything else. And absolutely, yes, acting like all of hockey Tumblr is female-only is shitty as all fuck because it most certainly is not, and there is absolutely ZERO need for it to be: any and all people whose interests fit with the fandom should feel welcome in the fandom-at-large regardless of gender, sexuality, or amount of societal oppression they face, and be supported in these aspects. At the same time, however, there is no true reason for anybody to demand that all of the fandom is safe to them, particularly if we are discussing gender; women who want to hockey blogs for only a female audience should be free to do so, the same way someone who wants to only discuss two players being gay for each other should be.

Anyway. Please accept and respect each other. Fandom is perceived shittily enough as it is; to talk and discuss these matters is of vital importance, but please also respect peoples’ individual wishes  and needs when Tumblr is large enough for all of us to exist, find our communities within hockeyblr, and be happy.

[evanstanwrites]

The CEO - 5 - THE END

The Mob Boss

summary:  y/n Photographer meets James Bucky Barnes CEO of White Wolf Industry, they fall head over heels for each other. But Bucky has many secrets, will she find out who or what he really is? And more so will she accept it or will she run as far as she can when she finds out?

A/N: based on elements of an rp with the lovely @loricameback​

A/N: not yet proofreaded by my favo kiwi: @pawfect-melody​ ( this post will be edited as soon as it’s proofread)

moodboard below by @imanuglywombat​

warnings: a bit of everything (angst, fluff, light smut) 

The CEO masterlist

2 weeks had passed since that eventful day, she tried her best not to think about it but she failed most of the time. She still felt confused and had mixed emotions when she thought about it, not knowing what or how to feel about what happened. But what actually hurts the most was the fact that since that day she hadn’t seen or heard from him, not even a text. She had started to wonder if he even was in love with her. However she wouldn’t admit it but she missed him, she was miserable without him but right after she started to think about the lies, secrecy and the fact that he was actually the brains and leader of a criminal organization and she didn’t know how to feel about that piece of information. 

“Oh come on, when will you be done with this sulking, girl? you’re driving me crazy” Mia chuckles on a Wednesday afternoon in their small office. The response she gets is an angry look and a grunt making Mia chuckle even louder before they both focus back on their work. At least Mia is effectively working while y/n just stares at the screen in front of her. Not even ten minutes later Mia sighed and got up, made her way towards y/n’s desk and pulled her up.

“we’re taking a break, so come on let’s get some food or something like that” Mia says and y/n knows she hasn’t room to debate with her as she pulls her to her car. “where are we going Mi?” y/n asked as Mia starts driving. “oh you’ll see but I’m sure it’ll be worth it.”

“worth what?” 

Mia didn’t respond as she just drove. The moment Mia parked her car y/n knew what she had meant. 

“Mia, why are we here? Why are we parked in front of White Wolf Industry?”

“y/n, I can’t stand seeing you so miserable, you miss him and don’t dare deny it.” 

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not but he doesn’t even want to talk to me Mia, I ran out on him you know.” y/n points out with a heavy sigh.

“Oh come on, if you believe that then you’re really stupid, no offense I love you but I can’t watch while you throw away something beautiful. I don’t know what happened but is it really worth throwing away what you had, the love? and even then you owe it to yourself to talk to him before ending it properly so you can move on. What do you have to lose?” 

damn, she was right, why was she always right? 

“My self-worth, my dignity?” y/n half joked a bit pathetically making them both laugh.

“come on, go in there you wuss.”

the moment y/n stepped a foot inside the lobby she regretted it immediately, every eye in the room turned to her making her feel out of place. but then again she promised Mia she wouldn’t chicken out but she really wanted to run out that door and hide. just as she wants to turn she feels a small hand tug on her arm. “you look like the pretty girl on the picture on uncle Buck Buck’s desk.” a sweet voice tells her.

when she looks down at the source of the voice she sees a little girl, the little girl Bucky had on his arm in the park all that time ago. “Jamie”

“you know my name?” the girl asks surprised with a big smile.

“Yeah you’re uncle told me about you. But why are you here alone?” 

“I lost Abu, I came looking for him when Sophie wasn’t looking. I don’t like Sophie, she doesn’t play with me” she explains with big gestures.

“Well maybe we should go to your uncle’s office maybe he knows where Abu is.” y/n says holding out her hand to the little girl while thinking ‘who the hell is Abu?’ 

She could hear Bucky talking before she saw him and he didn’t really sound in a good mood. 

“Just make sure you find her Sophie! I ask you to watch her one minute while I make a phone call and you lose her?!” 

“UNCLE BUCK BUCK!” Jamie squeals once the two walk through the open doors of his office and runs to her pacing uncle who directly catches the little girl when she throws herself at her. 

“thank god, where were you little monkey? I was so worried.” Bucky asks the little girl as he hasn’t still didn’t noticed her standing in the door opening. 

“I went looking for Abu, I lost him and Sophie didn’t want to help looking.” 

“Oh my sweet monkey, Abu is here, you left it on my desk” he said pointing to the stuffed monkey from Aladin on his desk but then his eyes fell on y/n who was watching the two from the door opening.

“y/n?” Bucky asked surprisingly a bit relieved as he placed Jamie back on her feet.

“Jamie, go play with uncle Steve while I talk to y/n.” he said while handing her the stuffed animal from his desk but quickly added “and don’t go exploring again without anybody knowing.” 

“Yes uncle Buck Buck.” she giggled as she ran out the office.

“hey doll.” 

“hi” y/n smiled awkwardly before a slight awkward silence fell between them.

“God this is awkward.” she breathed

“it doesn’t have to be, I’m actually glad you’re here sweetheart” he said with a small smile.

“why? cus I’m so confused Bucky, I don’t know what to think or feel about everything.” she cracked not holding back the tears behind her eyes which made Bucky almost run towards her, pull her in his arms and close the office door behind her.

“I know doll, I know. I know it’s all so much to take in but I want you to know that wasn’t the way I wanted you to find out” he tells her as he cups her face.

“But why didn’t you call or text, I know I shouldn’t have ran away but but…” she starts but Bucky buts in “No doll don’t go blaming yourself, I don’t blame you for running” he says as he wipes a tear away from her cheek. 

“I didn’t call or texted because you needed time and space, that was something you needed to do on your own and I knew when the time was right that you would come to me. trust me doll, I missed you like crazy. not calling you or texting you was a hell, I really really love you” he said making y/n cry even more.

“I love you too Bucky but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can accept you doing what you do.”

“sweetheart, you don’t have to decide right now what to do. I have waited so long to find you, I can wait some time longer if I have to before I can have you in the end.” 

“I have all these questions and I don’t know if I need to be scared or not.”

“No doll, you’ll never need to be scared to ask questions or be scared of me. cus I’ll never let something happen to you, whatever happens between us.”

y/n released a breath she didn’t know she was holding, she actually believed him when he said that she didn’t need to be scared.

“Why didn’t you tell me? why didn’t you just tell me sooner?” 

“I wanted to doll, trust me. I was actually planning on telling you that day at my family’s restaurant. I just hadn’t counted on that ambush. But I kept it from you for that long because I was scared doll, scared that you’d see me as a monster and wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I didn’t want my job to be an element in our relationship cus the only thing that matters is us, my love for you. I’m just Bucky when I’m with you not Mr.James Barnes CEO or the mobster boss, just Bucky. I want my work as far as possible from you, your safety and well being is my top priority” at that point even Bucky had tears in his eyes, he would always fight for his girl.

��he’s right, the only thing that matters was what the two of them had, the love they feel for each other.’ 

“I can give you all the time you need doll but I’m miserable without you, I love you so much it hurts when I don’t have you to hold close” he says as a tear escapes him.  

“I don’t want time, I want you. Bucky I want you. I love you so much I was miserable without you too and I don’t want that again. please” she didn’t know what she was begging for but it seemed like Bucky had at least a vague idea because he didn’t spare a second and kissed her deeply softly running his tongue over her lips asking for entrance to her mouth already tasting both their tears on her lips. as soon as she opens her mouth for his tongue the kiss turns passionate and they both moan into the kiss. it didn’t take long before Bucky stood in between her spread legs as she sat on top of his desk with Bucky’s fingers deep inside her bringing her closer and closer to her orgasm.

y/n didn’t know how she ever could doubt this man, the love they had for each other was what was most important, the rest was just a nuance. as long as she had him she knew she was gonna be alright, she was right where she needed and wanted to be.

��The End

tags: 

@marvelgirl7​

@imanuglywombat​

@loricameback​

@aesthetical-bucky​

@feelmyroarrrr​

@huskygreatdane

@cap-just-said-language​

@lokisironthrone​

@lolabean1998​

@seasaurusrrex​

@emygirl​

@deathofmissjackson​

@lorilane33​

@starkeysgirl​

[li0nheartstories]

Remus Lupin Things - Remus loves to read. Muggle Fiction. Wizard Fiction. Autobiographies. Textbooks? Anything he could get his greedy little hands on. Lyall and Hope fed his enthusiasm, bringing new books home every chance they had. Money was tight, what with the instability of work and the price for all those bogus cures they kept finding - they had very little to spare. In turn, Remus began to write his own stories. He wrote of places he’d never been, and people he’d never met, and battles he’d never fought. Who knew that castles, and comrades and war were all in his future? - Remus loves music. He grew up listening to the muggle radio in the kitchen, while his mother washed up after breakfast. If she was in a particularly good mood, she might even dance - that wild smile and those beckoning fingers would be imprinted in to his mind long after she had passed. When he was 8, he found his father’s old acoustic in the corner of the attic. It was dusty and chipped from one too many moves, and was desperately in need of some TLC. After cajoling his father in to teaching him a few chords, he fixed it up and spent months in his bedroom figuring out Van Morrison’s Brown-Eyed Girl. Then, he played it for Hope on her birthday. He now has a whole repertoire of songs. Remus has the sweetest voice, but he won’t sing for just anybody. He likes jazz, and folk and a little bit of rock ‘n’ roll. You have Sirius to thank for that. - Remus loves to draw. He loves to sit at his bedroom window and sketch what he sees. He has the same drawing from every single house they have lived in since the age of five - which is seven, by the way. He likes to draw landscapes, because they make him feel free. People intimidate him - not just their hands, and their noses, which are - arguably - the hardest parts to draw, but their insides. The bits you can’t see, or illustrate. He finds that he can read people quite well, and he likes to people-watch - his sketchbook is full of those, too. Strangers. The thing that bothers him is, if he can read them - can they read him, too? So, Remus prefers to draw people, not interact with them. They’re easier to deal with that way.  - Remus loves magic. He loves the warmth of the wand under his fingertips, and the smell of burnt spellwork in the air. He loves creating things, making moving pictures and bringing his art to life. He loves practicing new charms, (and jinxes, of course,) figuring out the intricacies of the movements, and the nuance in the language - just like he did with his father, when his parents had thought that he would be home-schooled. What inflection should he use? Does the power equate to the tone, or decibel, of the voice? Is the flick more of a curve, or an angle? When his friends laugh at him, he rolls his eyes and makes some sarky comment, but he never tells them the truth. The truth is, he didn’t think he would ever go to Hogwarts, and this is a dream come true. He’s not going to miss out on a single second of it. - Remus loves to play games - Gobstones and Wizard’s Chess especially. He loves sitting by the fire with his father, in that squashy leather armchair, watching the older man’s brows furrow as Remus takes yet another one of his pawns. He loves hearing his mother exclaim, ‘It was Colonel Mustard, in the Drawing Room, with the Candlestick!’ Her eyes gleaming with triumph, as she won yet another game of Cluedo. The game he loves most of all, is Gobstones. It was Gobstones that Albus Dumbledore played with him, the night he persuaded his parents to let him go. - Remus loves to be free. After six years of looking at the world from the inside out, Remus John Lupin likes to go wherever the hell he wants. He likes to feel the grass between his toes, and the wind in his hair. He likes the crunch of snow, and leaves, and sand underfoot. He likes to climb trees, and build dens, and get mucky. It takes a bit of getting used to, but when he gets the bug, he can’t stop himself. The wolf belongs in the wild. There is nothing like mountain air to clear your lungs, or a forest to heal your soul. Remus has the heart of an adventurer, that has lived a thousand lifetimes through the pages of a book, and a half life through his very own eyes. He wants to make up for that as quickly as possible, and those three dorm-mates of his seem like a pretty good place to start.

[revasnaslan]

☕️ and Dishonored

one of my favorite games out all time. would recommend to anybody who wants a video game recommendation and hasn’t played it yet. 1000/10.

i don’t really know much about supplemental material for the games, and i’ve never actually played dishonored 2 (*shakes angry fist at my laptop which can’t run it*) but i do enjoy how even without that supplemental material, there’s a wealth of interpretations you can get from the game. and i think that’s helped by corvo not having a voice actor in the first game? so you have other characters kind of saying how they think corvo is feeling about something and him never really commenting on things. but because of that, it feels a lot more immersive and so it makes for an interesting roleplaying experience.

corvo is one of my favorite video game characters ever. the chaos level in the game is such an interesting concept to me that i really enjoy, especially if you look at it from a roleplaying perspective. my preferred type of run is a clean hands run, but i also tend to interpret that as corvo choosing the most torturous fates for the people who ruined his life (and those of his family), not because he is a pacifist but because it’s what they deserve. the elite of dunwall are corrupt and they deserve to suffer as they’re taken down. it becomes even more interesting when you consider a clean hands run also involves the sparing of the guy who murdered the empress. like the wealth of interpretations you can glean from that.

the daud dlcs are also fun as hell, he’s such a great character. i really like how the developers actually took the time to develop him and make him nuanced. the fact his dlcs are him essentially trying, in some fashion, to fix what he broke is absolutely amazing. i love it. iirc, if you do a clean hands run here, the outsider also comments on it, which is so interesting to me.

i want to play dishonored 2 so goddamn bad orz

[allan598]

7 Pro Tips For Doubling Profits on Your Vintage Clothing Auctions

Is it genuine that you are set up to get more income from your vintage dress sell-offs? Need to hang out in an expanse of competition? Evade some essential money exhausting messes up by following these 7 Pro shipper tips vintage sexy downloads .

Follow the Leader: Know what's hot, and what's working for top dealers. Use whatever methodologies you as of now acknowledge to stay current on retro clothing designs. (Follow plan sites or magazines, etc) There is reliably an alternate interpretation of old clothing. This season it might be 1990s plant rompers, yet next season it very well may be 70s smokestack pants. Stay current, and give buyers what they need by stacking the trendiest vintage articles of clothing.

Watch and gain from top sellers. Which of their things sell for stunning wholes? How are their photos or titles not exactly equivalent to yours? How are they presenting themselves/what is their picture? Plan to learn pieces of information rather than copy anybody. Find what works and re-try that to your own picture.

Imaginative Copy: It's a truth of arrangements: People buy on inclination and backing with reasoning. As a vendor, you should attract your customer's sentiments to help them with getting amped up for your articles of clothing. Right when you truly get this, your arrangements will take off. Use striking, hypnotizing, and conversational substance in your deals. Paint "word pictures" to move your customers from their PC screens direct into your dress. What will it look like to wear that bewitching mint condition 1970s Boho dress? By what strategy will they feel? By what means will the world respond to them? What geniuses or films/TV shows have been shaking that look? What kinds of dress and embellishments would genuinely laud the outfit? Make like you were educating your best darling concerning your generally exceptional moderation score.

Inconspicuous subtleties are the primary issue: despite solid, expressive, and conversational substance, you should add some undeniable nuances. Underneath that open, feeling battling content, add a bulleted list with the nuances of your dress. Add whatever number perceiving features as could be permitted including, yet not limited to: stepped size; assessments for bust, midsection, hips, and length; surface substance (if it's not checked, make a best guess and make sure to determine that in the deal), information about trims and terminations, and any deformities. Be direct!

Tempting Titles and Sexy Subtitles: After you've formed your bargaining copy, it's an ideal occasion to make a title-inscription combo that will get your customers by the collar and all things considered, yell "Stop what you're doing! This deal will change you!" You simply have a few minutes to grab the attention of likely buyers, and this is where you make the execute.

Title - This is commonly a rundown of the thing and isn't unnecessarily gaudy. Use either "vintage" or "vtg", the decade, brief depiction of the thing with 3+ expressions, and size. Be sparing with all capitalized words. Use them simply on 2-3 genuinely watchwords. E.g., "Vtg 60s Mod GOLD Ethnic Print BOHO MINI Dress S/M"

Inscription - Here's where you get innovative and use some more expressions. This substance is more unobtrusive and two or three even more all-capitalized words are agreeable here. Essentially recall that quite countless all covers words are altogether difficult to examine. E.g., "Smooth GOLD Daydream Believer. Domain Waist/MEGA Color

Pair the title and subtitle with an inconceivable thumbnail picture, and watch your deal sees take off.

Model Behavior: Using a faker to show your articles of clothing may save some time, yet it's costing you certifiable compensation. You should convince potential buyers that they will look and feel dazzling in your vintage things. Using a model to show your items is the basic difference between hustling to make bargains and a certifiable selling superstar. Examine the most boiling vendors in the eBay vintage attire characterization for multitudinous models. There is lots of information online that teaches how to take an amazing thing photo, and addresses everything from unassuming strong of look lighting to establishments. Follow these tips and use a live model!

Once-over Lots of Auctions: Experience shows that stores with a high measure of closeouts make more arrangements. There is a twofold favorable position here. In the first place, it advances you legitimacy as a veritable shipper: you comprehend what vintage is hot and you have heaps of it to bring to the table. A ton of what puts a seller on the map is the cool factor. Anyone can list an unassuming pack of sell-offs, anyway the truly cool merchant seems to have a ceaseless supply of vintage articles of clothing to peruse.

Second, performing different errands is a period sucker! Do relative tasks in huge groups - like posting various closeouts immediately - and you will save time. Zero in on at any rate 20 live deals reliably.

Overview Consistently: The cool consider comes play before long. Gain ground toward brand steadfastness: make your thing - your deals - dependably available. The most well known of vintage attire sellers acknowledge they aren't a couture house. They don't have the overall brand affirmation and insane fans, so they can't remain to be "inaccessible" for any timeframe. Make brand steadfastness and give your customers what they need by keeping your store dependably stacked.

There's nothing captivated about transforming into a well off power dealer. At the point when you find your forte and develop your picture, the rest is assurance and to some degree experimentation. Reliably follow these 7 direct yet historic tips and watch your online arrangements explode.

[ghastlymemes]

SHITTY HOROSCOPES STARTERS feel free to edit/change prompts as you see fit! more prompts under the cut. tw for cursing, mentions of violence, and mentions of death.

BOOK ONE

❝ holy fucking shit. just. holy shit. what the fuck. ❞

❝ nobody really knows the nuances of what you get up to in your spare time, and honestly, they’re probably better off that way. ❞

❝ busy yourself with the affairs of the living for once. ❞

❝ the answer is no. ❞

❝ ohhh, boy. you. fuck you. yes, you specifically. ❞

❝ delete your search history. ❞

❝ please practice blinking, as others can be unsettled by your inhuman ability to maintain an unbreakable stare during casual conversation. ❞

❝ what did you ever do to deserve this? in all probability, something terrible. ❞

❝ you are a crayon. get out of the toolbox. ❞

❝ none will love the butcher. don’t take it too personally. ❞

❝ some relationships, like warts, can be handled with the tactful application of liquid nitrogen. ❞

❝ take a long shower. wash your hair. wash the clothes you were wearing. wash the memories from your mind and body. ❞

BOOK TWO

❝ frostbite is considerably difficult to heal from. ❞

❝ there is poetry in brutal efficiency. ❞

❝ people would take your raging far more seriously if you weren’t crying the entire time. ❞

❝ what made you so vindictive? ❞

❝ some bodies may be temples, but all are ruins at your feet. ❞

❝ your contempt will always taste like grief. ❞

❝ you are the bone-deep fury of an abscessed tooth. ❞

❝ You are notorious for rubbing salt in the wound. cheap vodka in the wound. battery acid in the wound! ❞

❝ vehicular arson is not the answer. ❞

❝ hate is a verb. ❞

BOOK THREE

❝ the sooner you accept your impending expiration, the sooner you can stop trying to swallow the sun. ❞

❝ embrace the inevitable. snuggle with the inevitable. take the inevitable out to a nice, candlelit dinner. ❞

❝ there are forces outside of your control. most of them don’t care for you. ❞

❝ when it all goes to hell, just remember that it’s what’s inside that counts - though not many would find you very appetizing. ❞

❝ not all things have significance, which is scary. the things you overlooked tend to have the most, which is scarier. ❞

❝ your teeth are only porcelain, your ribcage simply glass. like all delicate things, they can know no permanence. ❞

❝ in time you’ll learn that ‘just’ and ‘right’ only mean the same thing when they’re coming from very specific people. ❞

❝ you may not want to change, but the world is unforgiving, and will do it for you anyway. ❞

❝ sometimes we put our hearts in the wrong places. ❞

❝ sometimes we put our hearts in the wrong places - what the fuck is it doing between your teeth? ❞

❝ nothing can stay. ❞

❝ you can put all the flowers in your mouth you want, but dying is dying and rot is rot. ❞

❝ loneliness is a fracture that never heals quite right. ❞

BOOK FOUR

❝ lay them to rest. ❞

❝ they are there, hovering nervously. you will watch the skies. you will wait. ❞

❝ eat the other. ❞

❝ there will be scrapes and sutures, viciousness and victory. ❞

❝ no loose ends. ❞

❝ an eye for an eye. a tooth for a tooth. a knife for the ribs. ❞

❝ you will not be swayed by the morally destitute. ❞

❝ decay will feed the bloom. ❞

❝ devour death like crows, for all the feathers between your teeth. ❞

❝ twisting, screaming, uncompromising. every inch, every iota. ❞

❝ once, answers were found in mouths, bathtubs, and bottles. this time around, get inventive. ❞

BOOK FIVE

❝ romancing yourself is possible, narcissistic, and recommended. ❞

❝ contrary to popular belief, it’s unwise to temper creatures of flesh and bone like steel. ❞

❝ one bad apple ruins a bunch. two bad apples leaves no witnesses. ❞

❝ you know it’s the real deal when you can see past the meatsuit and into the yawning dread. ❞

❝ break your teeth on love. ❞

❝ when people ask for someone ‘out of this world,’ they often don’t mean it literally. ❞

❝ when it’s good, it’s great. when it’s great, it’s a small calamity. ❞

❝ you are every mother’s cautionary tale. ❞

❝ harpoons, while more effective than arrows, are not as wieldy. ❞

❝ a study in complacency. an essay on sensibility. a dissertation of disenchantment.  ❞

❝ make up your fucking mind. ❞

❝ there are plenty of fish in the sea. some just happen to be imbibed with mercury. ❞

BOOK SIX

❝ your humanity is the biggest burden you will wear. ❞

❝ decorating your meltdowns is good and all, but a trainwreck is a trainwreck, and it might be time to get a paramedic. ❞

❝ they say ‘there is nothing to fear but fear itself,’ but you have seen yourself in the mirror. ❞

❝ you may have been gutted, but your mouth is soft, your tongue is silver, and your teeth are gemstones cut to size. ❞

❝ it’s less like biting off more than you can chew, and more like dislocating your jaw. ❞

❝ even specters can tire. ❞

❝ seeing yourself for who you really are would be great if you knew where to start looking. ❞

❝ it pays to kill with kindness when you’re your own worst enemy. ❞

❝ you’re only armed to the teeth because you’re more brittle than you care to admit. ❞

❝ your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets. ❞

❝ frequent tastes of your own medicine can get poisonous real quick. ❞

❝ self-reflection is important! whether you like what you see is up for debate. whether it can be contained in a dark basement is another matter entirely. ❞

BOOK SEVEN

❝ you are a quiet god, and your hunger is cavernous. ❞

❝ at times your body is simply a prison laid in gold. ❞

❝ death, dust, party, repeat. ❞

❝ devour the monsters, and you can call any place home. ❞

❝ you’re only as lucky as your expectations are low. ❞

❝ worse than having many secrets is having no secrets at all. ❞

❝ if seeing is believing, you might be in some trouble. ❞

❝ suspend belief. expel fear. throw reason into a frigid cell, never to be seen again. ❞

❝ killing the monsters is the easy bit. it’s finding them that’s the hard part. ❞

❝ there exists a tipping point between gods and monsters. ❞

❝ a mouthful of ashes bested by a life of smoke and mirrors. ❞

❝ what’s to be gained from keeping the heaviest treasures between your teeth? ❞

BOOK EIGHT

❝ you might not be afraid to die, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready. ❞

❝ you were a plague none were prepared for. ❞

❝ you are the mind and the malady, the medicine and the machine. ❞

❝ assholery is incurable, unfortunately. ❞

❝ nobody’s going to notice the difference between you pushing dandelions or daisies, so leave them something worth talking about. ❞

❝ there’s no rule stating that parasites can’t be pretty. ❞

❝ you aren’t obligated to be anyone’s cure. ❞

❝ some are the bandage, some are the knife, some get creative. ❞

❝ soothe what you can, fight what you can’t. ❞

❝ the only difference between a pathogen and a person is that one is far more creative with how they’ll infect you. ❞

BOOK NINE

❝ stranger things have happened. like you. you are happening all the time, and should probably stop. ❞

❝ let none be the noose. ❞

❝ take what you can and run. ❞

❝ gratuitous violence; unnecessary, satisfying, heartbreaking, and so like everything else you love. ❞

❝ understanding builds bridges, suffering grows gardens, antipathy sets both on fire for shits and giggles. ❞

❝ there is a variety of sadness that makes a home in your guts and never quite leaves. ❞

❝ you could have been anybody, operating this body. the good news is you won! the bad news is you’re stuck with it. ❞

❝ being loathsome and lovely in equal measure is probably a talent, somewhere. ❞

❝ why fear the dead, when you could fear the living? corpses in motion, cruelty and kindness. ❞

❝ if you’re forging your own path, be prepared to light your own pyre. ❞

❝ what possessed you to come this far? no, really. was it cute? ❞

❝ you can’t wrestle apologies from the sea or the sun, but by fuck, are you sure going to try. ❞

BOOK TEN

❝ pick a place and die there. ❞

❝ i know you mean well. ❞

❝ may fortune favor the fuckups. ❞

❝ remarkable that one plane of existence can host so much - and so little - distance. the spaces between people, ideals, fingertips, the sea and the sky. ❞

❝ learn when it’s best to bite your tongue. temper the nest of hornets inside your loveless mouth. ❞

❝ i worry. ❞

❝ time sours, rots, renews, and sours again. ❞

❝ grief and growth live hand-in-hand. ❞

❝ sleeping, like dying, delivers you from one world to the next - to rest in crypts and wake in gardens. ❞

❝ words in couples carry weight. ‘fuck you.’ ‘hell no.’ ‘oh, god.’ ‘sorry, mom.’ ❞

❝ make room for small, fragile things, even with bones of cement and a leaden heart. ❞

❝ you win some, you lose some. you lie, cheat, and swindle some. you vanish on a crisp winter’s day, never to be seen again. ❞

BOOK ELEVEN

❝ quiet reflection is next to impossible if your mental landscape is one long scream. ❞

❝ you inspire me to be better! ❞

❝ you inspire me to be better! a better ‘what’ is up for interpretation; person? arsonist? alien? ❞

❝ we don’t know where you came from, but we need you to go back. ❞

❝ the dark doesn’t intend to hurt you, only the creatures who plot during the cruel, cold light of day. ❞

❝ i lived better when i was ignorant of the sun, tucked away in your chest. ❞

❝ there’s asking for forgiveness, there’s asking for permission, and then there’s saying ‘fuck it’ and doing what you may. ❞

❝ if only it were easy, to wish and want for nothing. if only you weren’t less human for it, wishing and wanting for nothing. ❞

❝ in the end, there is no blaze of glory. ❞

❝ love to distraction, die due to carelessness. ❞

❝ in the span of your life, there’s plenty to avoid; the wicked, the merciless, and the things you want for no reason other than wanting them. ❞

❝ you are dazzling and terrifying. these words are not as removed from one another as you may think. ❞

❝ flirt with death, tease the inevitable, give the void a saucy wink. ❞

BOOK TWELVE

❝ things to bother believing in: love, switchblades, and extraterrestrials. ❞

❝ let the record show that they were ill-equipped to deal with you. which is unsurprising, because you’re ill-equipped to deal with you. ❞

❝ you’ll be fertilizer regardless; might as well have interesting stories for the dirt. ❞

❝ there is an exhaustion that comes with living in an embrace like a vice, a kiss like a canker sore. ❞

❝ fear is an absence of understanding. horror is the act of understanding perfectly. ❞

❝ labor in love, toil in tenderness. ❞

❝ your love will always be rooted deeper than any grave. ❞

❝ you’ve seen your downfall spelled out in another’s bones. ❞

❝ the victor spoils, the loser learns. ❞

❝ the body is rot waiting to happen. ❞

❝ you will have never loved for nothing. ❞

❝ the aftermath of your life affords you three real options; obscurity, legend, or horror story. ❞

[noccalula-writes]

Do age gaps bother you?

I’ve spent enough time watching fights unfold on Book Twitter to think this question might be a trap so I guess the answer depends on whether or not I’m gonna get called a p*dophile if I think an 18 year old fucking a 40 year old is the worst thing that ever happened? 

If you’re looking for some solidarity in terms of not wanting to be dragged for liking what you like then you’ll find it here - age gaps don’t bother me, especially in fiction, though I think we should all be looking at older men who seek out younger partners as a pattern with a critical eye. I do also hold IRL men who deliberately seek out younger women (particularly 25 and younger) in high suspicion. I always have to wonder what the fuck is wrong with a guy that women his own age don’t want anything to do with him, and it’s so easy for them to translate that into ‘nobody understands me but YOU, young nubile person’, which definitely appeals to those who want to be seen as worldly and mature. It’s complex, like most human nature. I speak on this from experience. A lot of my first interests/boyfriends/etc were much older than I was, and I was def a young woman who got mistaken for being older than I was (and in some cases not mistaken but rather targeted by men who didn’t care that I was 16, 14, 12). When I was in my early 20′s and Cyn and I were still experimenting a lot with what an open relationship meant to us, I got involved with my philosophy professor, who was easily 40. At the time it seemed grand and sweeping and deep and I reveled in how much attention he paid me and how smart he thought I was. Now, at 33, I look back at it with a sour taste in my mouth because the odds are that I was not the first, second, or thirteenth such student and I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with him that this was his preferred place to look for that kind of attention and yet he couldn’t maintain his on-again, off-again relationship with another professor who was his age (she hated me, in case you were curious). Fiction is supposed to be exploratory. Fiction isn’t there to teach you major life lessons about yourself or morality as a tacit - if work does that for you, then that’s wonderful, but it’s not the responsibility of every single writer on the planet to evolve you as a person. If you specifically look to jack off to student/professor smut fic, then by all means, you do you. I worry about the complete lack of nuance that’s overtaking this weird wave of puritanical fandom perspective, and I worry about the fact that a writer who wrote underage fic about an abusive relationship as a csa survivor got called a p*do TO THEIR PUBLISHER and got dragged across the coals. It’s not productive, it’s not helping end any sort of predatory behavior, it’s just making sure the water is too toxic for anybody who might need a hand out of it to feel safe speaking up. Further, nobody owes it to re-victimize themselves on the fucking pire for some audience of malicious internet strangers in order to beg to be spared from their ire. It’s gross.

If you’re into age gaps, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. If you’re not and they squick you, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you either. Human sexuality and psychology is vast and nuanced and terrifying and wonderful, and there is more to it than you can put in 140 snide characters aimed at whatever target makes someone feel more powerful. 

(btw something weird is happening with the spacing on this post, so I apologize if it’s either one wall of text or with eighty huge spaces) 

[truethingsiwishicouldsay]

What is your opinion on trans people? Like, the trans people who have transitioned and such?

OK, well, here are my thoughts, which are pretty nuanced so this gets long. I have bolded the main points to help break up the textwall.

First, the surgery thing. Whether or not a trans person has had gender reassignment surgery does not change my basic perception of them as a human being. They do not “qualify into womanhood or manhood” by getting surgery. They are not more or less valid as people because they treat their dysphoria with surgery or treat it in some other way. That’s an individual choice that should between them, their doctors and their loved ones. 

It may change their bodies to inspire people at large to treat them according to their gender identities, which in turn helps their dysphoria. But I honestly feel like the FIRST goal of all people who are considering surgery that drastic shouldn’t be surgery to get others to accept your womanhood or manhood so you can accept yourself. It should be radical self-acceptance. You cannot afford to define yourself by others’ perception of you. There are just too many shitty people in the world.

If you can get to the place where you can truly say, “other people’s issues with me don’t define me” and have a basic foundation of self-respect to stand on, you’re in a better headspace to contemplate things like whole-body surgery, or deal with the side effects of a lifelong hormone regimen.

Now for the rest of my thoughts.

Unless they’ve done something awful, like Yaniv, I don’t come for individual trans people. Anyone who does that is a huge asshole and an actual transphobe. If I have a problem with a trans person it is 100% with something they did or with their politics, not their transness.

I am highly critical of modern transactivism and the way it eats away at the rights and boundaries of others, tries to politicize sexual entitlement, fucks with the definition of words, seems to specifically target cis women with demands, boundary violations and antagonism, is homophobic in its demands for sexual “access” to same-sex-attracted people, and encourages behavior such as nailing dead rats to rape recovery center doors, threatening people, and in my sister’s and my case, beating them.

Yeah, I got my ribs cracked by a trans woman tree times my size on the RUMOR that my sister was a TERF. A rumor spread vindictively by a drunk because she wouldn’t cheat on THE AWESOMEST WIFE IN THE UNIVERSE with her. I fucking HATE the TERF patrol. They silence and harm women. But that doesn’t give me the right to hate trans people.

Trans people are human beings who should be able to live their lives without abuse. That includes everything from idiots marching into their journals and bullying them and their partners on up to the Hell trans POC face in places like Brazil. 

There is a difference between biologically-based sex and socially defined gender. “Trans women are women” doesn’t mean trans women are biologically female. Otherwise they would not be trans. 

You can’t deny biological reality to cater to your dysphoria without putting yourself at risk healthwise, and without ending up at odds with pretty much everyone. I will call my trans brothers “dude” and laugh at their dropped-my-packer-in-the-bathroom stories and acknowledge their gender as male, but I’m still going to feel like I should say something if they’re having PCOS symptoms or something and won’t go to a doctor because dysphoria. Your body may not fit your soul, but it doesn’t deserve neglect.

Because gender is socially defined and often toxic, it’s up for grabs. Defy it, redefine it, jump gender boxes, set up new ones, whatever--do you. 

Just don’t scream at people with no experience of it who don’t quite get it at first. I have no fucking idea what gender box you’re sitting in if you give no outward signs at all, so don’t yell at my scramblebrained self for not being psychic. 

I try not to misgender people because I don’t like hurting people who aren’t even part of the conversation. That does not mean I don’t believe there’s no difference between the life experiences of transgender people and (what’s most commonly called) cis people. Of course there is.

Sex criminals who reinvent themselves as trans women to try and get into female prisons are absolutely fucking suspect. 

If you want to change your body to match your sense of gender, that’s your business--so long as you pay real attention to the medical implications. I hear about trans guys hurting themselves with binders and my response is 100% like “Ow, oo honey, please be careful” and 0% like “look at this crazy person blahblahblah here’s some transphobia”

Puberty blockers and transing kids horrify me, in part because I know a kid going through it and he’s already suffering massive side effects. He’s. Nine.

I get pissed off when historical female heroes get transed. Let us have our heroes. Don’t try to redefine every brave, gender-defying woman as a man.

I am wary of self-ident because of the ways it is being abused. 

Dysphoria sounds like absolute Hell. Personally I’m not sure surgery and such is the answer, but it’s not something I have ever dealt with. I certainly don’t think people should be pressured into surgery and hormones as “the answer” or “the only answer”.

Cotton ceiling activists are fighting for the sexual coercion of women and are loathsome. Nobody owes anybody sex, and thinking otherwise is a sign of toxic male socialization, full stop.

Many of the problems such as bathroom bills could be more easily addressed through physical innovation rather than political arguing. What we need is better design of public lavatories to provide everyone with both truly private and accessible public space. This would include everything from protecting from predators and privacy-invaders, to making sure everyone can pee without having a damn sex/gender debate at the door.

Biological males do not belong on girls’ high school or college sports teams, or in women’s competitive sports. Growing up male gave them physical advantages whether they acknowledge it or not. Also if a man in his fifties is on a high school or college women’s sports team because he “feels like a teenage girl” and you don’t think that’s suspect...

Girlhood and sexism are experienced by cis women and non-passing trans men. Boyhood and male privilege are experienced by cis men and non-passing trans women. People treat you according to the sex they perceive you to be, not the gender you perceive yourself to be. How people perceive and treat you determines your socialization and experience of sexism and privilege, not how you identify.

Screaming transphobia because a conversation about biological female health “doesn’t include trans women” is simply irrational. If you don’t have the plumbing or deal with the issues, the conversation doesn’t apply to you. Derailing conversations about female biology to nitpick about the words used is also a silencing tactic.  On the other hand, I will gladly bitch about periods with trans guys and acknowledge that when it happens they’re probably wrestling with an additional burden of heavily triggered dysphoria.

Female erasure is real. The tendency of transactivists to demand that words like “front hole” and “uterus holders” be used on us to spare their feelings COMPLETELY IGNORES WHAT BEING REFERRED TO LIKE THAT DOES TO US. Half the human population should not face dehumanizing language and treatment so that a small percentage of the population can feel a little better.

Feminists have also noticed that 99.9% of the time, it’s women who are expected to give ground, change our language, and change our behavior to accommodate. Men don’t face the same expectations. They are not confronted online, their organizations are not attacked, their buildings are not defaced. Transactivists have a huge sexism problem.

It is absolutely possible to be of the female gender and yet rampantly, blatantly and deeply discriminate against members of the female sex. Any wariness I have of trans women largely stems from negative experiences of trans female sexism and assault against trans men and cis women. 

Sexism, sexual entitlement, out of control tantrum-throwing, taking pleasure in threats and use of violence, demanding to be at the center of every movement you are in (whether transgender or feminist, for example), and the demand that biologically female people cater to you are all signs of toxic male socialization. I used to rather arrogantly say that trans women should jettison these as part of their transition, but the truth is that every human being should. But it’s still causing problems.

TLDR: it really depends on the specific trans issue and how it intersects with Feminism, social pressures, self-image, and scientific fact. Transactivism has huge problems, but trans people are human beings who deserve basic consideration and respect regardless.

[bnrobertson1]

Best Tunes of ‘19

Albums:

10. Squid- Town Centre - 4 songs, the first of which is a mood-setting throwaway. But the rest- especially the one-two punch of “Match Bet” and the funk by way of Parquet Courts of “The Cleaner”- make it easily one of the most exciting debuts in recent memory. I look forward to their LP- and obsessing over this band for years to come. (Song: “Match Bet”)

9. Weyes Blood- Everyday- Alternating between lush and orchestral Sufjan-isms and quiet and direct, well, Sufjan-isms, this album makes a definitive statement of the boundlessness of Blood’s talents.  (Song: “Everyday”)

8. Malibu Ken- S/T- The matching of Aesop Rock’s hyper-verbose lyrics and TOBACCO’s warped soundscapes proves alchemic, especially for two artists known for their eccentricities. (Song: “Acid King”)

7. Thee Oh Sees- Face Stabber- If you don’t like them, 22-minute jam “Henchlock” won’t convince you. But for us knuckleheads, there are few things as life-affirming. (Song: “Fu Xi”)

6. Crumb- Jinx- A surprisingly underloved debut, I (think I) hear in this neo-psych-soul group what others do the XX. (Song: “Nina”)

5. Fountaines DC- Dogrel- Seeing these intense Irishmen live I had no idea their album would have the nuance it does (both verbal and sonic), all-the-while never losing an ounce of that hypnotic feral focus (Song: “Boys in the Better Land”)

4. Nolan Potter’s Nightmare Band- Nightmare Forever- I’ve gushed about this band to anybody who’ll hear it but the record itself is far more convincing. (Song: “Seahorse Retreat”)

3. Purple Mountains- S/T- While it’s impossible now to listen to it without thinking “suicide note,” it’s still about as beautiful a send-off from this mortal coil as could be written. (Song: “She’s Making Friends, I’m Turning Stranger”)

2. DIIV- Decider- In many ways the yin to Purple Mountains yang, Smith & co. dealt with similar demons by changing styles (yet again) and reaching for Guitar God glory (they achieve it: see “Skin Game”)

1. Mike Krol- Power Chords- Every decade needs its own Blue Album and the ‘10s finally got theirs with these eleven tunes of rowdy, joyous heartbreak. (Song: “Left For Dead”)

Shows:

12. Rolling Stones- Reliant Stadium (Houston)- It wasn’t without disappointment (“Heartbreaker,” indeed), but they hit the highs when they needed to, and their scorching “Midnight Rambler” made you debate buying tickets for their 2039 tour now. 

11. Iron Maiden- AT & T Center (San Antonio)- What can you say about a concert that featured Bruce Dickinson sword fighting a 15-foot tall skeleton? (Besides “awesome” about 100 times, as a I did) The show that made me debate burning all of my clothes and exclusively buying tight black jeans and white high top 80s Nikes. 

10. Bob Seger- Frank Erwin Center- Not the coolest concert by a long shot, but easily one of the year’s best. MAGA Hats were present (not a problem per se, just noticeable to someone who mostly attends shows that could be subtitled “Fuck Donald Trump”), but so was the fire inside the 73 year old Seger’s soul. A small aside: my personal favorite part of the show was the kind of uninteresting anecdotes he’d tell during songs. Example: “Against the Wind” is about how he would literally run against the wind in high school track. That’s it.

9. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard- Stubb’s- These Australian rockers have been permanent fixtures in my headphones since I first saw their name 6/7 years ago. This was the live show where it all really came together to me (even if many of the attractive people there were confused/ intimidated by the thrash of their newest album). 

8.  Peter Hook and the Light- Emo’s- A concert I almost skipped after a weekend full of Levitation, this set full of New Order songs (including a front-to-back of their classic Technique) was the best Monday show I’ve ever attended.  

7. Nolan Potter’s Nightmare Band- Hotel Vegas- a nine-piece psych band fronted by a polymath flutist, this band is for lovers of 70s Rock (any/ all of it). Their live show, faithfully captured on their debut album, feels like the past and future simultaneously in the best way possible. 

6. Thee Oh Sees- 2nd Night- Hotel Vegas- No song touches “I Come from the Mountain” as an opener in its effectiveness to make your blood vessels turn into the autobahn.  

5. DIIV- Mohawk- It felt like a triumphant exclamation point to their newest album. Also, “Under the Sun” remains one of the prettiest songs ever written. 

4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Moody Theater- Entered drenched with rain, left drenched with sweat.  

3. Chemical Brothers- Bill Graham Arena (SF)- I’ll spare you the specifics but had a spiritual epiphany with “The Private Psychedelic Reel.” The best combo visuals/ music I may have ever seen?

2. Stereolab- Paper Tiger (San Antonio)- The first of three shows, I’ve been working on a larger piece to discuss the entire experience, but I’ll say that crowd members were profusely thanking the band in between songs- I’ve seen thousands of concerts and never seen that happen before.  

1. Beak>/ TOBACCO - Empire Control Room (Levitation Fest)-  I’ve long dug their music videos, but I had no clue Beak> was that fantastic live. A minimal mix of krautrock and trip hop, I vividly remember looking around for about 25 seconds when they started “The Meader,” (featuring the best baseline of the young century) making sure I wasn’t hallucinating this moody masterpiece. (I wasn’t). “RSI” is as good a song as anything Neu! wrote. On a personal note, I saw this show the day after getting some rough news and it reminded me of music’s curative powers, full stop (”RSI,” man, “RSI”). That said, I hope there is little footage of the concert because to say I was dancing a fool would be an insult to fools everywhere. Plus, I got to meet the incredibly friendly, funny Geoff Barrow, an experience I’ll forget about as soon as I forget the concert (read: never). 

[slumberinglabyrinth]

So something that I really liked about the Out of Gallia forging bonds was that it took the largest piece of (non-interpersonal) subtext revolving around Caineghis and made it explicitly canon: his views on the role of a king and how what he should do (and does do) doesn’t always mesh well with what he wants to do.

Caineghis wanted “to take guardianship of Princess Elincia and assist in the rebuilding of Crimea”, but couldn’t because Daein was going to move to invade Gallia next and in addition to her at least being temporarily safer in Begnion, keeping her in Gallia would be putting a massive target on their back. Remember, it’ll be a good 8 months before people learn Ashnard was doing all of this literally just to find a lump of metal and would have eventually invaded anyway.

Caineghis wanted to give more to the departing princess and the Greil Mercenaries, but could only spare a “small” 20k gold and whichever of his officers were willing to travel with them, because, again, it would make Gallia into a target for Daein (and in the case of the officers, he couldn’t force anybody to go).

Ranulf even explains early on in Part 3 that Caineghis can’t leave Zarzi because it’s a liability to the throne, which is why a certain thickheaded lion with no self restraint is spearheading Gallia’s first military campaign ever.

The only reason why he could be there for Greil’s final moments was because they were within the borders of Gallia.

For Caineghis, Gallia comes before he does. In some sense he is Gallia, so he can’t be careless, he can’t travel around, he can’t visit friends who had left the country, he can’t let himself be vulnerable. He has to send Giffca to do the things that he wishes he could do himself, solely because he cannot leave the capital from which he leads.

In the Tellius games, we see him do (and not do) these things, but it’s rarely -if ever- elaborated on why and we had been left to infer that it was because he puts his role as king and his country before himself. That subtlety is undeniably part of the beauty of the Tellius games, but Heroes can, should, and will beat you over the head with what they want you to take away from any given conversation, and it’s nice to see one of the most interesting and nuanced parts of a character that got comparatively little screentime for the amount of behind-the-scenes involvement he had in aiding the protagonists turn out to have been a deliberate choice and not just a fluke.