#spaghetti-machete

[rebloggingrexan]

i never would have known this!!! lovable and fascinating!! like a cute bug version of the nine-tailed fox...

I often hear that house centipedes have “too many legs” from people who aren’t as fond of all the Appendage as I am.

however, did you know that they aren’t born with all those legs?

this little bug nugget is an hours-old baby house centipede, with only 4 legs to her name!

as she grows, she’ll add a pair or two each time she molts her exoskeleton, until she reaches 15 pairs in the sequence 4-5-7-9-11-13-15. the purple capsule at her butt is a legless segment where the new ones will come in when they’re ready!

house centipedes can grow all their legs in just one summer, but will probably not be sexually mature for another year or two. since they keep slowly molting and growing after adulthood, some of the huge, ancient ones you see might be over 5 years old—what secrets the elder basement fairies must know, gleaned from cobwebs and crevices

[canisalbus]

This made me think of Machete being flattened from cuddling or just generally being a dog that looks like he was squished by a boulder like a cartoon

Also I am constantly in tears over Vasco and Machete

[spacedoutsheepy]

palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy, there's blood on my sweater already, mom's machete

I dunno, is this anything?

[disgruntledpoptart]

Hello, I am Bashaer from Gaza my husband was martyred in the brutal war. When I was pregnant , after few months I was born my daughter in the war. She is 3 months old now, She become an orphan.

Can you help me ?🙏save my life and my family from the genocidal war and the threat of death that haunts us every minute? Let us survive to safety. If you are able, donate, publish the link, and share with friends

Please donate

https://gofund.me/74e87f75

apologies to you and everyone else who messaged me for help spreading the word of their campaigns over that past week's, I wasn't in a position where I could access my account but I promise to get to all of them as soon as I can. my heart goes out to all those who are suffering under Israel's seige 🇵🇸🍉

tagging people to help spread the word lmk if you want your name removed

@bat-zilla @delicatecolorcycle @houseofpurplestars @three-croissants @rapunzel1523 @kardulis @orphancat @oozeclown @ninadarlene

@apollo-is-somthing @brittklein18 @macaroni-and-antifreeze @c4tlovr @desire-mona

@systemblr @zigcarnivorous @triset @al-val-meadow @goosehasapencil

@spaghetti-machete @scskullrose98 @i-who-has-never-had-a-name @mysticstar6 @thesignpaintersstuff

@monstermashpotato @cornmazehater @nerdyqueerr @perennii @vampyrated

@gizdathemxel @punkeropercyjackson @ropes3amthoughts @5ducksinatrenchcoat

@kittycat0419 @medicasino @b1s3xualm00n @starless-gaze @himbo-noxx

@jupiterisonline @perfectlyperiwinklerose-blog @pinetreesdoodles @dendrosys @carouselcults

[chaosisaladderfic]

Agents are required to leave their weapons with security upon entrance to the ICA headquarters. It's always a special day when 47 comes back.

First he leaves his pistol. The silverballers are handled with care, because people who mishandle them go missing. The fiber wire is handled with equal consideration.

Next is poisons: ICA grade vial of lethal poison. Rat poison. Some sleeping pills he found in a hotel room. Rat poison. A rare South American poison dart frog. Rat poison.

The explosives are pretty limited, as 47 prefers to be quiet. A remote-detonated explosive. Proximity exploding rubber duck (disarmed). A vial of nitroglycerin.

The miscellaneous category, however, is what the security team is excited for most - the random assortment of objects 47 picked up along the way. Anything can be a weapon, after all, when it's in the right hands.

47 leaves a wrench, a crowbar, a hammer, and a screwdriver. Then there's a machete, a can of soup, a bronze cowboy bust. Another screwdriver, a fish (?), a hatchet, a letter opener. Another crowbar.

Then a lead pipe, a pool ball, a brick. Another bust, this one made of plaster. A kitchen knife. A pair of scissors.

47 pauses, taking another inventory of his pockets, before adding a can of soda, another can (this time it's expired spaghetti sauce)...

... and a third crowbar.

[bleedingichorhearts]

May I request more shenanigans about our Hydra boys and our knight?

Maybe this time, the reader is desperately trying to make a shopping list, and the astartes keep suggesting absolutely absurd and unnecessary things.

𝐀 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Yes you may little Void! This is one of the ways I could imagine this going. Also, who taught our boi Hydra how to type?

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets.

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: You go shopping, not without a knight and a few texts of course.

TW // None?

|°ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| |°ɪᴄʜᴏʀ’ꜱ ᴀᴏ3°| |°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°|

Planning on making spaghetti tonight, I made my way into the freezer to get some meat out of it when I realized there wasn't any.

Damn it, Hydra.

I sighed, closing the freezer and took a sticky note and pen off the counter next to the fridge. Clicking the pen, I wrote down 'If you need anything I'll be at the store.' on the note before sticking it to the fridge.

Grabbing my wallet from my bag and heading out the front door. I have almost made it into my car before I was stopped by Solor. The 'Mr. No fun" I heard the Asclepius say before and well... he wasn't wrong, most of the time.

"Where you are going, my lady?" He rumbled, walking up to me while I turned around to look at him properly.

"Nowhere apparently." I groaned, knowing that most of the time Solor doesn't like going anywhere. He likes staying in one spot to make sure everything was in its order.

"So, you were going somewhere?" He asked, shifting his weight.

"No, I was going to the moon." I sassed, barely putting my hand on the handle of my car door before I was lifted up into the air and placed on the silver pauldrons of Solors armor.

"That's no way to treat your chivalry." He huffed, placing his gauntlet on my thigh, squeezing it a little.

"My chivalry?" I questioned looking down at his helmet. "What kind of chivalry kidnaps their maiden?"

"Their maiden? No, this one's all mine." He grumbled. Squeezing my thigh a little harder than before. His helmet nuzzling into my thigh too as I smacked his helmet, my hand buzzing with numbness.

"Your maiden? Since-"

His helmet looked up at me and he growled. "Don't make me take you right here and now." The deep tone of his voice sent a shiver down my spine, bringing a flush to my cheeks. "Now, where are we going?"

"To the store." I mumbled, looking anywhere else but Solor.

-

A buzz came from my pocket while I put a jar of sauce into the cart. Pulling out my phone, I unlocked it seeing a bunch of notification's being sent to my phone.

Asclepius: Are you at the store?

Hydra: You left without me? :(

Levithan: Box?

'Yes I'm at the store. What do you need a box for?' I texted back, pushing the cart forward more.

Levithan: Box.

Hydra: Can I get a machete?

'No, you cannot get a machete.' I responded quickly, then pushed to the next aisle.

Hydra: Awww :(

Asclepius: What do you need a machete for brother?

Levithan: Box

"Yes, I'll get you a box.'

Hydra: Can I get some paint then?

Asclepius: Brother, stop ignoring me.

'No.'

Hydra: ...floaties?

'What could you possibly need floaties for? Do you even know what a floatie is?' I asked in the message. Looking up from my phone for a second to grab a box of brownies.

Levithan: Fabric.

Hydra: No, can I have a croissant lamp?

'What type of fabric? Also no.'

Levithan: Soft. Silky.

Asclepius: May I get a 3-man chess board?

'I have never heard of that, but I can look.'

Hydra: A turtle?

Ascelpius: Oh, and a bean bag chair.

'Didn't you just steal some turtles?'

Hydra: Meat?

'I'm getting some for dinner, and DON'T EAT IT.' I typed the last words clearly.

Hydra: :(

Asclepius: Beans will go well with tomorrow's dinner.

'How do you know of tomorrow's dinner?' I asked. Wondering if he's been getting into stuff he shouldn't be, grabbing the said can of beans.

Asclepius: It's a perk.

Levithan: Swimsuit.

'You. Want a swimming suit?' Thats a weird one. I can't imagine an Astartes in a swimsuit. Would their suit beneath their armor count?

Levithan: No. You.

'Me?'

Asclepius: I think he means lingerie.

Hydra: :D

Levithan: Yes.

Solor: That's enough.

Looking behind me. I gave Solor a questioning look, his visor staring back at me. My phone buzzing in my hand again as I had a sneaky feeling that Solor was doing more than just staring.

Hydra: Buzz kill.

Solor: Get back to your shopping. I've got things to do.

'Well you get back to your guarding then.' I snapped back in text. Feeling the fiery warmth of his gaze now.

Hydra: oooOooo

Another, quick notification slid down the top of the phone screen. A personal message from Solor.

Solor: 'You will not be returning home safely.'

Turning back to Solor behind me, I flipped him off. Watching as his gauntlet tightened and loosened. Another buzz coming from my phone as I looked back at it, reading his new message.

Solor: 'You will be not returning at all.'

Ah, worth it.

[onenicebugperday]

@spaghetti-machete submitted: I found this line of insect eggs on a lupin seed pod in [removed] [please rmv. location]. I’ve had pretty bad luck identifying them so far; the book I’d normally look at is not in my house at the minute. Any help? They’re not dimpled on the top like a butterfly egg, and the sides are darker than the top, though I can’t get a good look at them.

Looks like true bug eggs, probably some sort of stink or shield bug in the family Pentatomidae. Possibly a gorse shield bug, but there are a few others that have eggs that look like this.

[biscuitbakerbecca]

Tumblr is being an ass and not letting me reblog rn so uhh this is the best I could come up with ANYWAY

Me: *writes fic*

@h0n3yk1tt3n: *makes art for fic*

Me: Fuck it I’ll read it like a web comic!!

[villainsally]

In parentheses, let me stress this fact clearly:

No matter what the deal I crave for this dearly.

The so called “noodles” that you find in spaghetti

Are sweeter than idols.

Do damage like machetes.

.

[flayote]

@spaghetti-machete:

oh wow. the face looks so much more naturalistic! it really hits you when you see the before and after of the inside for some reason – like the first one is 'taxidermy' and the second is 'oh that's a full animal'

yes!! that's why i love reshaping faces so much, besides the fact that it simply just looks nicer. when they're all smushed it kinda just looks like a... thing. but with the face all smoothed out and laying more naturally, you really get a sense of the individual's facial characteristics and fur pattern

@luxicaltric:

i KNOW you've explained how to fix this but i cannot find it and i need to know again

it's very old now but here is the tutorial i made! i actually never pin them to forms anymore like i do in the tutorial, i just make sure to shave the face nice and clean, and with that alone it'll lay nicely just naturally

[murderoushagthesequel]

here have a poem that you didnt ask for

i once had a plate of spaghetti

i had no fork, only machete

the spaghetti was cold

and it tasted quite old

regretti

i love your random asks

this was beautiful <333

i will treasure it forever

[robthegoodfellow]

snippet from next chapter of That's All Folks!

For context: in the Upside-Down afterlife everything operates according to Looney Tunes logic. Eddie is the most recent arrival, and the denizens are preparing to fight Vecna in order to save Max. Eddie's job to ensure Steve, Nancy, and Robin make it safely to the gate in the Munson trailer in order to escape.

The shriek of Heather’s whistle bounced off the GYM walls. “Again!”

Eddie groaned, so tired he went full noodle—arms dangling boneless from his shoulders as he drooped to the ground on legs bendy as spaghetti.

“Let’s go,” Heather bellowed into her megaphone. “One more, then we’ll call it a day.”

In response, Eddie let out a long descending whine, a gusty fart of a noise, and his body deflated like a punctured balloon.

“Aw, don’t be like that, man,” Patrick called from his perch atop the metal crate that represented the Munson trailer, his crown askew from the rough landing. He had been playing Steve for the duration of the exercise. Chrissy, sitting pretty by his side, the first to have made it to home base, had drawn freckles on her cheeks to assume the role of Robin. “You almost got all three of us that time.”

Dangling upside-down from the ceiling, hand on head to secure his brown Nancy wig, Fred nodded encouragingly. He was wrapped chest to knee in the creepy sentient vines Heather had unleashed, a swarm of blind boa constrictors that had spelled their doom mere feet from the finish line.

Heather had insisted that getting into character was essential, and thus had been tormenting—or “training”—Eddie for hours with a grey raisin face horrifically at odds with her pink track suit.

If Vecna personally comes after us, we’re screwed, Ed had pointed out, but she was undeterred. Barb had donned a flower costume, the petals hanging limp from around her neck. I’m a Demogorgon, she’d explained, expression flat. So far, she’d mauled Eddie twice and Patrick once.

Maybe it was therapeutic, given how she’d died?

Barb sat out the last round, content to chill among the writhing amputated vines Ed had been furiously hacking to bits, windmilling a pair of machetes. He would’ve gone tornado mode, but they’d limited him to tactics that wouldn’t stretch plausibility so far as to paralyze his human cargo with alarmed confusion.

Which was really cramping his style, honestly.

The metal doors clanked, and bright daylight clashed with the harsh fluorescents. Eddie flopped his head to see Billy approaching, back in his workout clothes.

…Back in his workout clothes, only he’d swapped out the muscle shirt for a black crop top.

“Already a puddle?”

Heather nudged Eddie’s hose arm with her foot. “He was like this before you got here.”

Billy crouched, eyes sparkling, tongue between his teeth. “What’s up, Ed?”

“This isn’t gonna work,” Eddie mumbled, downcast, and Billy tsked.

“Not with that attitude, it’s not.” He grabbed Ed’s hand, raised it till his breath gusted against skin, and for a wild second Eddie thought he was gonna kiss it like a fairytale prince.

Then plush lips closed around Eddie’s thumb—an abrupt switch from good day, my lady to let’s set off some fireworks—but before Ed could do more than squeak, Billy’s cheeks puffed out, and he blew.

With a pop, Ed resumed his normal dimensions, fully inflated, and their audience cackled—except for one.

“Uhm, could you—let me down?” Fred asked.

Billy craned his head, considering. “Give ‘em a tickle,” he suggested, and soon enough Fred came crashing to the ground.

[qquiinnyy]

There was once a girl called Becky

Whose looks could kill like machete

Im a little bit drunk

My rhyming is junk

Spaghetti

[mostlygibberish]

This review may contain spoilers.

I liked the part with the satay.

A strange modern western by way of Indonesia. Marlina the Murderer in Four Acts has some great, wide-open cinematography and a decent spaghetti western score with a twist, but suffers from inconsistent pacing and a lack of tension. 

There was a strangely casual tone considering how dark the material was at times, which even carried into the climax of the story, making for an underwhelming finish. Lots of confusing character actions too. I don't understand why she didn't just kill the final bandit as soon as she got home. He wasn't armed, she'd already killed all the others, and she just handed him her machete? 

A decent watch, but it just didn't fully gel.

[thesingersgirlrevisited]

Volatile

Volatile, a porcupine I just wanted to touch. A spine that doesn't want to yield to much. A pineapple with armor, but hidden fruit and no machete. An unsuspected garlic clove in the wardrobe of spaghetti. A sapphire wedding ring in the hands of the yeti. A human gust disintegrating the rainbow ring of a sand mandala. A hit of gravity felling a napping koala. An off-kilter suspender. An expectation up-ender. A tart cherry on a cut tongue. A count who counts his many spider bites. A poker card in a deck of tarot. A brick in a hand of marzipan. He's exclusive. He's exceptional. He's volatile.

| 2018

[toughtinkcosplay]

not a dumb question! a lot of it comes down to sharpness--they should move easily through fabric without any snagging or difficulty. but also, the eye of the needle should be clean and large enough to get thread through without much problem. (obviously, ymmv. if you struggle with that type of fine motor skill i would also recommend getting a threader to help.)

for more info, this was the video i saw about 3 years ago from abby cox. she goes into more hand sewing tips also, so it's worth a watch if you find yourself doing a lot of mending or other hand sewing projects.

@spaghetti-machete oops forgot to tag ya!

i watched an abby cox video forever ago about how most hand sewing needles easily available in stores absolutely fucking suck and how you have to find fancier brands online that were made in england or whatever to get good ones these days, but only recently acted on it by adding some on to my order of snaps for my meryl coat.............

ohmygod. it makes such a difference. you guys, if you hate hand sewing, go buy some slightly better needles. i got some from wawak which is an online store that specializes in notions (and they're much cheaper than what you'll find at joann's), and it makes everything so silky holy crap. i'm forever changed.