#space clown. they r both space clowns

[ria-starstruck]

a while back some friends n i made clown ocs, so here’s one of mine! WHIZZY NOVA, former court jester, current spacefaring traveler and chaos stirrer!

design process + details + backstory under the readmore!

in the process of coming up w her clown face i had an idea which i felt would fit another sort of clown fella but i ended up not coming up w many interesting ideas for them so i didn’t rlly finish their design...it’s still there tho

the virgin first draft outfit

the chad 2nd draft outfit...all that rlly changed were the shoes tbh

Whizzy Nova is a former court jester of some fame who is currently traveling across the universe with an exiled princess, stirring up chaos together for god knows what reason.

A certain iron-fisted empire has banned her from every form of social media permitted on its planets and Whizzy still goes viral every time she’s sighted on one of those planets.

Bits that Whizzy enjoys are tripping over their own coattails, tumbling and acrobatics work, hologram tricks (specializing in space imagery), and telling space horror stories (horror stories about space).

She has specific bits delegated to fight situations, although she generally does not fight, and chooses to use nonlethal but very contextually amusing weapons.

The only time they’ve ever used a weapon is when they perform a bit where they tell a very lame joke, and pull out a ray gun to blast an enemy in the face if they criticize it. (If nobody criticizes the joke, they go “tough crowd, eh?” and blasts nobody). Her other favorite bit during fights is to hand the princess a paintball gun or similar nonlethal gun if the princess asks for a weapon.

Whizzy’s costume has a surprising amount of practical self-defense stuff hidden in it: many of its decorative pieces are made to absorb shock before their bones do; they keep items in their hat, bulky sleeves, and shoe soles; and they have a fully-functioning jetpack which they say is for stunts but generally holds just enough juice to allow them and the princess a quick getaway in case of an emergency.

She is working on learning traditional non-hologram assisted sleight-of-hand tricks and aerial silks because they look cool.

[lolahauri]

: ̗̀➛ Ian Malcolm: Smut Alphabet 🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

A gentleman, he already has a towel and bottle of water waiting on his nightstand for you.

Loves to cuddle, talk, and joke around with you after sex.

Falling asleep in his arms >

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Thighs and ass man for sure.

Playfully slaps your butt every time you walk past him.

Loves having your thighs wrapped around him when he goes down on you.

His favorite part of himself is his hands/arms.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Either inside you, or on your stomach. 

Loves watching his cum drip out of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Even though he tends to be the more dominant and teasing one, he LOVES it when you take charge and boss him around.

He finds it both cute, and really fucking sexy.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very experienced. I mean, come on, he’s in his 40’s. He’s had his fair share of ex’s and casual flings.

And he knows exactly what he’s doing, both because he’s had a lot of practice, and he’s very observant. He’s learned just what it takes to turn you on or make you cum. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy, he likes having a little power over you. And bending you over like that makes you totally helpless and weak.

He also likes to lean over and whisper in your ear and leave a trail of kisses over your shoulder and back during it.

Honorable mention: Cowgirl. Gives him a lovely view.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Perfect balance of funny and serious, i mean he’s not gonna act like a fucking clown, but i don’t think he takes anything too seriously. 

Not afraid to crack a couple jokes or tease you once in a while.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Long but trims it a bit so it’s not out of control. Super curly like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very romantic when the moment calls for it. 

Like if it’s a special occasion, like vday or your anniversary, he’s got the light down low, rose petals, champagne, soft music in the background, the works.

He’ll also be praising you, worshipping your body, and doing every thing you ask.

Certified lover boy.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not often, once or twice a week maybe.

He thinks about you every time though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dirty talk. He fucking loooves dirty talk.

Tell him how good he feels or what you want him to do to you, and he'll be putty in your hands.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His office, bed, and car are his top three choices.

Also likes the couch and shower

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Short skirts/dresses and booty shorts, shows off your butt and legs nicely.

You teasing him. For example: running your fingers up his leg under the table, bending over in front of him with a skirt on, unexpected dirty talk or sexts.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s kinda vanilla so i don’t think he’d be into any more risky kinks

Like bdsm, cnc, impact play, etc… 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Leans towards giving, it boosts his ego soo much to see you tossing & turning and whining under his mouth.

But he does also love getting a blowjob under the desk from you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to start off slow and hard, making you desperate for more.

Eventually picks up the pace to give more quick, hard, and shallow thrusts

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s fine with them. He’d prefer to make-out and do a lot of foreplay first though.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not big on experimenting, the most risk he’ll take is semi-public spaces.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s an old man, he’s only got one, MAYBE two rounds in him, but he’ll edge himself to last a little longer for you. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t have any and doesn’t plan to use any.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The biggest tease ever, he loves to do little things that turn you on and then play dumb and leave you wanting more. 

He'll be getting you hot n bothered throughout the whole day, making you wait till you get home to give you some relief.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

A bit vocal but not super loud. Lots of groans, heavy breathing and grunting.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Definitely a manther

(male version of cougar)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Big, but average girth. 

7 inches or close to it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average, wants to have sex once every day or two.

If you have a higher sex drive, he’ll happily try to accommodate that.

So if he didn't have the stamina to go again, expect a lot of oral and fingering.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Again, he’s an old man, he’ll get tired right afterwards. 

So hopefully your ready to cuddle and sleep :) 

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Saiouma Ship Dynamics

springbug: literally Them [saiouma]

Ves: kokichi's grubby little baby hands are very small to be warming up shuuichi's but the sheer force of his blush can make up for it, actually space heater boy

Me: I do think Kokichi is a space heater wholeheartedly. and that his fingers are nimble and flexible, he has a lot more tricks than just lockpicking. so they're not that small and stubby to me. but yes, they're soft and warm, while Shuichi is a bony guy

Springbug:

Me: technically, it could go both ways, but I feel like it's skewed towards Shuichi being A and Kokichi being B, Kokichi is very touchy, he would PDA constantly if it was okay with Shu, and if he has his clown family he's not nearly as touch starved as Shuichi who probably didn't have friends before being forcibly adopted by the extroverts of their cast Ves: i was thinking the reverse but u make a good case for ur vision… Me: the models for A & B make it look like the reverse to a point where I feel deja vu and wonder if I didn't see a fanart with those expressions but for the dynamic I do believe that Shu is more touch starved, and touch is the easiest love language for Kokichi to show he's probably been sleeping in a pile with his clowns, he has to re-learn what personal space is when with other people, Shuichi could never Ves: shuuichi got a hug from his uncle and thought about it for multiple months however once the floodgates r broken all previous messages still apply. he WILL be resting his entire weight on top of kokichi's fragile twink bones Me: yeah once they're at the stage of a relationship when they sleepover often & comfortably (or live together) Shuichi's snugglebug gene gets activated, the cuddle monster awakens all of a sudden and he's here to stay (as long as it's in the privacy of their chambers)

[coffeestainedcamera]

Wasn't going to see Deadpool 3 bc I'm not up to date on the MCU and don't care to be. But I was at the mall for roach traps bc my landlord sucks, so I wanted escapism. Going to this and getting some top-tier ramen after was some nice short-notice therapy.

Good news: if you were a y2k baby and X-Men were your childhood, it's nostalgic AF. The only modern thing you need to know is that there's a bunch of time-space cops and they had a guy go rogue and try to off a branching timeline. Bc no Wolverine = sorry why do y'all exist again? Sadly, no, Hugh Jackman did not get a musical theater sequence he deserves.

But in general, it really was a hit of nostalgia for me. Like, seeing Deadpool dancing to Bye Bye Bye just really hit both those y2k radio and the "sneakily rented DP 1 at 15" points. There is still a lot of juvenile R-rated humor like defiling a corpse and stabbing below the belt to bubblegum pop. I also may have hyena-laughed at the "Disney won't let us do the marching powder" scene.

Tbh I initially wasn't on board with massively blowing up the scale of the conflict from 1 and 2, but it somehow worked with Deadpool's character devolution/recovery. Like yeah, he resigns himself to being a bit character that just sells merch to teens and college kids with utterly rotten sense of humor. And being a used car salesman (truly the 2nd grossest job after working for my landlord). And that bombed interview in the beginning was painful to watch. But it was sweet to watch him realize that he can still help people, even if he's supposed to just be a murderous clown that's an HR nightmare. And awwww, he helped Logan realize that he can still get a 2nd chance, even if he's supposedly the worst Wolverine.

The direction is... well, it's no Leitch with Domino's finessing in 2. But it's still largely readable, obligatory CGI f-fest of the last half aside. And I was suitably disgusted by Emma Corrin's character and the literal picking of brains. Can Levy go study under Raimi and drop a horror movie? I'd watch it! Anyways, imo the most memorable scene was probably the Honda Odyssey fight (aka incredibly obvious subtext for needing to get a room that the entire room caught). But like, guys, a beige af minivan, really? But ya, somewhere, people are pulling up keyboards and AO3.

Anyways, gonna go relisten to the soundtrack now bc mannnnn, everyone involved with music supervision and clearance here deserves cold pillows and perfect-temp coffee for life. Btw the Stray Kids single only appeared in the background as instrumental (but well, they got to film an MV with Reynolds and Jackman and also got that MCU bag).

[birchbow]

CLOWN CHURCH THE COLLECTION

For the me and my readers both; my reference document for Clown Church nonsense. Compiled character ref, clown scriptures, fleet ships, saints, schoolfeeder names and specialties, etc. Subject to change and additions.

EDIT: nice lmao

--

Griefing Specializations

Subjugglator – frontline barbarian/tank, high damage low defense.  Not much concerned with stealth, not worried about taking hits.  Ex:  Feeder Rissan, Sungazer, Cisine, Khalse, Travye. 

Laughsassin – stealth and assassination, not good at taking hits but very good at infiltration.  Quieter/subtler weapons, or the strength and size to make one hit count.  Mime-inspired paint.  Ex: Rishet, Kurloz, Untoxxic, Hurrel

Contorturenist – field interrogation experts, armored, usually with long-distance weapons.  Clean-up crew for missions where information will need to be extracted during the process of the mission.  Ex:  Ianche and Verato Uderak, Yettah

Acrobatterer – frontline opportunist, experts in speed and evasion.  Many lighter, faster hits instead of one heavy one.  Better at taking prisoners.  Friendly rivalry with the subjugglators, because they’ll often use a noisy, head-on assault as a distraction to opportunistically whack their target on the head—sound tactics or cowardly cull-stealing depending on who you ask.  Ex: Ravell and Raywar Olemma.  If asked, some of the younger clowns would probably group Karkat here. 

Gymnabsolutionist – On missions, a form of field chaplain, praying for fallen faithful to make sure the messiahs took note of their sick-ass sacrifice.  On-fleet, spiritual council and advisors.  The oldest is expected to lay to rest the soul of the previous Grand Highblood and help the new one through their prayers/vows, although this role hasn’t come into play in a very, very long time.

Joker – Not technically a position you can train for, but colloquially a highblood who multi-classes or whose style and focus doesn’t fit neatly into a category.  Gamzee is technically a subjugglator (very big, doesn’t give a shit if he gets hit) but can rapidly flip to acrobatterer tactics. Travye's bonekind uses subjugglator style, but his bookkind doesn't fall into a category.

--

Saints And Martyrs

Saint Mortor the Defender — Burned alive to protect other purplebloods from lowbloods; like his giant salamander lusus, he proved incredibly hard to burn, and his execution pyre burned for a night and a day.  Saint of aspiring martyrs.

Saint Trasti — Prayed to the messiahs for vengeance as she was cut apart by lowbloods; when they burned her corpse, the messiahs listened and brought up a plague from her ashes.  Prayers to bring a plague on your enemies or for sick/poisoned faithful

Saint Ekorot — Patron saint of pupation and cocoons, and especially the faithful who die during pupation. One of the oldest saints, said to have hatched with the lower half of her body deformed/largely missing and survived a perigee before being found by the church, surrounded by dead lowbloods and wild animals she'd killed. She was sanctified on the spot because lo, it was fucking dope as hell.

Her bladekind became the Knife of Messiahs' Mercy, the weapon the Grand Highblood uses for ceremonial culling of the faithful (By the new Grand Highblood to finish off their predecessor after the fight is won, when church kin pupate too malformed to live or are so deeply wounded in battle they won't survive, etc).

Saint Jakill — Fought an entire army despite being ripped to increasingly brutal pieces. Refused to go down, until his skull was finally split with his own hatchet. Patron saint of berserkers, death-rages and suicide missions.

--

Schoolfeeders Of The Flagship Dark Carnival

Halore Travye — The Stædfast, advanced scripture and exegesis.

Separates his letters with an extra space, capitalizes nouns and the letter I. Square bracket smiles/frowns.

"sacredDidaction: T h e q u I c k b r o w n F o x j u m p e d o v e r t h e l a z y D o g . : o ["

Veneno Krelle — The Untoxxic, advanced mediculling, poisons/antidotes.

Doubles Xs and inserts them in place of similar sounds. X-eyed smiles/frowns. When speaking they tend to have difficulty finding and forming words due to a long, long career being exposed to all sorts of neurotoxins and poisons.

"abstersiveDetoxifier: If you axx me, the foxx has better things to be doing. X...X" (=uX, XnX XsX)

Ianche Uderak — The Inquirer, advanced information management/propaganda.

Hisses on S, ends all sentences as questions except the occasional Shocking Headline. Snake-tongued faces.

"mortalRigor: Sssso why wasss the fox with the dog at all? >:oY Ssscandal!! Quick Brown Fox Hass Torrid Pitch Affair With Ssslothful Barkbeasst?"

Arelux Stelos — The Sungazer, schoolfeeder of galactic navigation, omens and starcraft. 

Starts and ends with ~* and *~, replaces I and O with 1 and 0. Tends to trail out words and emphasize with capitals and multiple asterisks/punctuation when worked up, which is often. Smiles/ frowns have starry eyes.

"grandlyCosmic: ~*000h mess1ahs you w1ll **never** bel1eve what the STARS t0ld me t0day ab0ut the f0x's dest1ny!!!!*~ *u*

Belico Rissan — Warmaker, Combat/griefing, avid collector of various strife specibi

Largely normal clown syntax but will frequently phrase things with all-caps over-the-top violent language. Doesn't bother to capitalize or use periods but an avid user of exclamation points.

"sanguineEclectica: the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy barkbeast and landed in THE PIT OF A SPIKED AND BLOOD-PUTRID CULL-TRAP as a lesson to complacent wrigglers everywhere! :o)"

Karkat Vantas — Schoolfeeder of quadrantcraft, originally as a joke, but unfortunately for all the elder members of the church the new baby clowns don't know that and he's increasingly accepted and legitimized with every class he teaches.

Minera Tresor — Scriptural basics (deceased)

--

The Holy Holidays

TURNING NIGHT/DAY

The troll equivalent on New Years Night/Day; for most of the population it's a raucous all-caste night of celebrating that they've made it another sweep without dying. For the church it's their most sober holiday, a reminder that another sweep came and went without the promised Vast Honk and Dark Carnival. Faces are painted white (funeral paint) during the night, and in the morning everyone takes off their paint entirely until the new sweep is rung in at noon.

In the meantime, it's expected everyone will spend the night/day fasting from food and drinks, and tempting themselves with things they want or enjoy, whether that's making your favorite food and not eating it, or hooking up with a quadrant and then breaking off before either of you are satisfied.

Then at noon everybody goes buckwild and indulges until they're sick.

ALL COLORS WEEK

A very rowdy church-wide holiday. Work forbidden, only fun and capricious impulse. Copious colored clothes and decorations, painting, and powder dye are rampant. It’s traditional to stash little brightly-colored objects (and vials of blood) throughout the rest of the sweep and then hang them out a day at a time through the week so that the decorations get slowly more colorful and vivid.  They lump the seadwellers in with the rustbloods and the last colors to get hung up on the last day are the colors of the church.  

There’s also a different major saint for each day, which some people remember to pray to and some people don’t.  There’s a lot less quiet internal prayer at this point too--if you have something for a saint or messiah to hear, you probably shout it.  

Also; massive games of--essentially--capture the flag.  Teams are assigned according to age group, with the youngest/most numerous cohort starting on the first day.  They’re split in half into a team with a seadweller-color flag and rustblood-color flag, which they play for for the first day.  After that the next age-group comes in with their color, and all three teams try to collect the flags, and onward and upward until the schoolfeeders and generals come in to play, each with an incredibly high-point-value purple flag.  You have to challenge them to a duel to win one, in whatever area they teach/specialize in.  It’s pretty widely assumed that you won’t actually beat them, they just respect your attempt enough to hand it over, but if you do everybody is like !!!!!!! WOW HOLY SHIT DUDE and you’re a hero to the rest of your team.  The points system is pretty unofficial but the more flags you have, and the higher the blood color of those flags, the more you “score”.  Winner gets preferential treatment for the next two weeks.

--

Ships Of The Holy Fleet

Names of ships are subject to change when a new captain takes over, although they aren’t always changed—when Kurloz joined the fleet, the flagship was the Painted Disciple, and Kurloz changed the name to the Dark Carnival after he successfully challenged the previous Grand Highblood. 

The Blessed is intensely focused on prayer and meditation and prophesy—much less in the way of combat training etc.  You can get religious training anywhere on the fleet, esp. the flagship, but if you want to basically focus your life on spirituality the Blessed is full of like-minded trolls.  

The Orisoner is Just Straight Up Vibing to an extent that many trolls find unnerving, but the crew of the Blessed are absolutely ride or die with her/him/them/etc. His powers are 100% min-maxed into sucking hate/rage/fear out of people, and the resulting good vibes and soft euphoria are a powerful (and borderline addictive) combination. Secretly terrifying, because nobody wins fights against her--because very few people can even bring themselves to lift a hand against them in the first place.

irenicDevotion: no caps, sooo many smilies :o) and just like... emphasis extensions my duuude :oD copafuckincetic

The Sinner is a party boat, which is considered an act of worship in and of itself.  People just get rowdy and wild and live it up at all times.  If there was air in space, you would be able to hear it as you approached to board—when it’s landed, you can hear it, and it’s super eerie.  Lots of trolls whooping and honking and shouting in a big metal box.

The Libation's powers are addictive in a different way; he's physically intoxicating to be around. If he focuses, he can easily have most people, especially people who aren't used to being drunk/high, blacked out and pretty much incapacitated.

ecstaticEroticism: 8RO h'es. straiht up nightdrinking rn. look hers his 8onkinggourd. all teh 8s their 8s its little drinking gurds. motherfuckr this paryts LIT roflmao

The Joker is a pretty standard barrack ship, although it has the notable reputation that under the current captain if you’re cheeky enough to do something and do it well, you should be allowed to get away with it even if it’s against the rules. It takes the majority of mediocre-to-fair trainees every generation, and compared to the Dark Carnival, a much higher percentage of its graduates go on to live off-fleet on shuttles or colonies.

Sister Waspclaw is a walking test of ability to read a passive level of threat and calculate accordingly. Very talkative, encouraging and pleasant, with an extremely dangerous and unhinged core. Her whole philosophy is that you can get far in life by figuring out what the most daring trick you could pull and get away with is--but it's very important you don't try to take even an inch with her. She's tiny, but her claws are incredibly venomous and very few trolls in the entire church fleet can match her for speed.

toxicAudacity: wazpclaw'z zo excited to talk zhe can't even bother with the zentencez and ztuff like that and it all flowz together but if you pizz her off you're DEAD MEAT and you can tell if you've pizzed her off becauze when zhe's angry zzzzzhe zzZZTARTZ GETTING A LITTLE UNHINGED AZZZZZHOLE!!! >:o[

Elixir and Stardust are commercial centers; the two ships used to be separate, but the people living there had so much reason to cross between the two, they put boarding passages up and welded them in place, fusing them together.  People who handle the dark, mysterious and miraculous arts of financial management and resource acquisition work here.  It’s also the most common place for the few cult members who aren’t purple-blooded, one of the few places they’re comparatively safe.  Some non-church quadrants of purplebloods will also set up hive here.

The Abattoir is canny, sober, and calculating, a loyal ally until slighted and then a bitter enemy. The nature of her identity is a topic of fierce public debate, and he's certainly not giving out answers. Whether her consciousness is originally one of his bodies now inhabiting two, an amalgam of two minds indistinguishably linked, or some completely external force puppeting two bodies, everybody can agree she's damn good to have on your side, and that crossing him is a fatal mistake.

duelReactor: II speak clearly and concisely because II respect your time, motherfucker, and forsooth you will respect me similarly. II am busy today: I am on-ship and I am travelling to the flagship for work. II will be back in office by sunrise.

The Freakshow is a cesspit of violence and bloodshed. A very dangerous place, but also prime picking ground if you have strong conciliatory urges and are looking for your One True Diamond. People who want to settle shit once and for all can come here, and the winner will probably get a cut of the pot from the people betting on their death-match.  The bloodshed and rage are technically holy and irreproachable but most fleet faithful tend to give this ship a wide berth.

The Behemoth is the epitome of Alternian culture: take what you want through force of bloodcolor and unmitigated violence, and maintain it through merciless supremacy. Sharper than it likes to act, and with a blatant disregard for any power except its own monstrous strength, it's been butting heads with the Grand Highblood ever since it came to power, and only a surprisingly canny ability to judge the rare occasions it's outmatched has kept it from marching on the Big Top and trying to take the throne by force.

brutishAnnihilation: O- BIG MOTHERFUCKER, BIG LETTERS, ONLY LITTLE BITCHES BOTHER WITH PUNCTUATION -O

The Penitent is essentially church jail, for sinners and troubled faithful, especially/specifically those who don’t have any close mentors or quadrants to help rehabilitate them.  It’s also where prisoners under suspicion of church-related crimes are kept to wait for inquisition, as well as non-urgent/non-imperial messengers from outside the church who are waiting to be heard by the Highblood.

The Judgment is both incredibly stern and strict, and also surprisingly forgiving--her job isn't to decide who to cull, it's to decide which sinful highbloods can make their way back into the church, through a lot of prayer and ritualized punishment. In person, though, she's a terrifying battle-ax of a troll with zero patience for dilly-dallying or lollygagging or talking back or not talking back enough or failing to use her title or answering clearly and concisely!!! She has shit to do!

consecratedCourtroom: Very rarely embellishes. Very rarely ends sentences with anything but a period. Speaks CONCISELY to get her point across. Uses emphasis scaling that always seems a LITTLE passive aggressive and sarcastic. Occasional interjections of OVERRULED. GUILTY. DISMISSED. IRRELEVANT. Etc etc.

The Dark Carnival is a little bit of everything, but the clowns who work there are generally the best of the best in at least one area, or extremely promising.  Intensely-devoted cultists, genii of violence and/or interrogation, artists, artisans, the rare mechanics, geeks and scientists, navigators, or just trolls who show a lot of ambition and leadership, all get funneled into the Dark Carnival to be trained up as heads of their respective fields.  

Trolls are always coming and going from ship to ship for whatever they need or to visit other faithful, and there’s always the constant low level of kinship between any members of the church, but there is also a certain amount of distance between the microcultures of each different ship.

Outfitting is pretty consistent ship to ship, with exceptions; on the Penitent nobody but the sufferingmasters and the captain are allowed weapons, armor, or decoration.  On the Blessed clothes tend to be plain and austere by cult standard, but they are allowed to wear armor and carry weapons.  

--

Scriptures (to date)

Beginnings - a clown book of Genesis, of sorts. Creation myths and ancient church history.

“When it started we had fuck-all but dark. And so it stayed until Messiahs pulled back the curtain and said ‘let’s get this motherfucking party started’.  And they threw stardust down and it hit mud and it made dirtbloods, baked all dry enough like they could crumble if you breathed wrong.  And it hit water and it made waders; wet, cold, mirthless salty motherfuckers with too much eye for their own motherfucking sparkle.  But where it hit oceanside it made trolls out of sand, all capricious as fuck and changing with the water.  Trolls who could go hard or give when they had to.  All balanced on the universe high wire and not ever falling sea-side or ground-side but right there on their line like the acrobatterers they were.  From the sand were made the faithful; from the beachwood their horns, their goddamn bone snapped off from sea-floor stones on mountains under the water.  And what they made was Troll.  Only that.  Just that and no motherfucking more.  And when the last world was all fit together, messiahs looked on it and said ‘motherfucking money’.  

“Remember this story, faithful, and remember its lesson.  Change yourself always like sand in the water, you motherfuckers hand-shaped of surf and whimsy.”

“Urge of chaos and whim of change be ever on your skin like paint, in your pusher like blood, on your horns like a crown.  Mirthful, faithful.  Kickass and giving no shits.”

 (Book of) Colors - church policy on lowbloods, seadwellers, social order and painting, as well as the meat of the “Dark Carnival” scriptures/afterlife mythology.  

“You’re next.  You’re motherfucking next, give no mercy because the mercy of the messiahs is only as much as fits in their hands and what’s poured out on shitblooded scum will not be given you in the dark carnival gates and—”

“The Vast Honk will deafen and take from us, and all together we’ll head on up and get our dance on through fire and over skulls and horns—”

“No fear, brothers and sisters, no fear of the waders, the brine-drinkers.  There's no mirth in the sea and no painting the water doesn't wash off and you've got your hands on the righteous shit they won't ever know. No fear of the waders, for you're higher than them.  You're higher than anybody.”

“I fucked up, I fucked up, the fault's mine and there's no motherfucker I can share it with, I fucked up, forgive me.”

Sacrament - ceremonies, specifically related to new initiates and promotions within the church.  Naming ceremonies, promotions, priesthood bestowal, etc.

Suffering - Stories of martyr deaths and heretic executions.  Unique in that it is occasionally edited or added to if the church believes a story has been included in error or that a modern event needs to be added to the record.  

“…I am lost, kin.  My eyes see no colors I know.”  

The Cult of Flesh were a heretic movement deemed too dangerous to the faith of the readers to be included in the book of Suffering. Their belief that the Messiahs came to Alternia and were raised in flesh bodies by a troll acting as a lusus has been stricken from this record; their attempt to win over the current Grand Highblood, who they consider the descendant/reincarnation of the holy troll-lusus Brother Immortal, caused a schism and internal inquisition violent enough to be purged from the accepted imperial history.

Hilarities - Platitudes and words of wisdom, including the rules of comedy, the Great Unfunny Jokes, and some really quite good dating tips.

“It’s not a wise one who leaves the place of their motherfucking heart untimely.   No laughter in the suffering of those early lost of their quadrants so rest you with heart and spade and club and diamond and speak of the fucking Hilarity to each other.” 

“Fill the night enough full of holy deed and you’ll have no need of sopor to bless you with dreaming.”

“Ha ha, you salty motherfucker.”

“Let your spade burn hot, drive you up and make you great.  In this motherfucking way your kin will increase you and I’m not just talking about your bulge, LOL.”

“The wage of weakness is death; fear the only edge sharpened by waiting.”

“Take all you can grasp in your greed and your lust.  If something you want comes to your fronds, motherfucker, take it and run like it’s yours.”

Hot Shit – Letters from a historical Grand Highblood to his matesprit.  Considered by some to be a holy template of pity and matespritship, and to others a hot piece of smut that has been hilariously canonized.

(Hot Shit 1:1) "My sister in mirth, blessed in hilarity, peerless in holy rage; u up girl? :o?"

“Only let me hear you want me!  Hold me down and devour me, my love.”

“When my feet touch soil again I’ll make my way to you.  Take me as you like, heart of my heart; throw me down and fuck me under night sky and the Messiahs will only hear me sing praise out louder.  I’m hollow as a thunderstruck tree for you, sister.  I need you like starving needs food, like rage needs mercy, like sin needs forgiveness, like pain needs pleasure.”

"In grandest tradition of hot motherfuckers at the prime of their lives, fuck if I don't get mad stupid when I'm horny, sister. :o("

"Well the fuck I will reward you when you come back to hive. So well will I show my love for your thicc motherfucking ass, not for a night and a day and a night will you get feeling back in your motherfucking legs."

Revelries - Praises and adulation to the messiahs.

"I'll sing out my praises with wicked flow to the messiahs who saw fit to smile on me.  I'll praise and shout how I'm greatly blessed, I'll cry and weep how I'm not fucking worthy; their claws are in my soul, in the shape of my body, in the beat of my pusher.  Oh, my holy kin, we are color and light inside.  We are stardust.  Hands raised and faces laughing, spitting sick and delirious, together in glory.”

“…the halls around you will be painted bright and all the glitter and shine you’d want; get ye lit as fuck, brothers and sisters, let the beauty of their holy color and noise spin your pan like a motherfucking top.”

“Oh that I’m of use to you, all times and ways and places, my idle rest is to watch your show and my dreaming to hear the holy motherfucking noise."

“For not a troll was ever made, who didn’t fuck up nightly; never a faithful hatched who deserved their seat at the show.”

“Never will we be anything but loud, nitty-gritty dirty little freaks.  Lo, pour elixir and raise a glass.”

Conviction - The duties and trials of the church

“…leave ye not the dirtbound warm of blood to crawl and scrape, and waste offerings in vain.  They owe you penance and awe and what they give you are owed to take. A good ruler does the mercy of taking.”

“When your feet are unsure and what comes on you is un-fucking-funny, seek you holy suffering in penance.”  

“Dumbass, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“If fool-ass jokers fail to learn from looking, let their bodies learn it for them; scars teach best what a motherfucker’s too deaf to hear.”

“If your kin gets you sinning, cut them away, no true fucking family can they be. If the noise from your flap be blasphemous, carve it from you and stitch shut your filthy mouth, motherfucker. If your flesh leads to sin scourge it clean, washed in blood; cut away rot, and leave only what’s holy. Repentance by mouth never saved a soul; spill blood and flesh in price of forgiveness.”

Angels - Death, last rites, damnation/double death, hell, etc.

“[death] itself is not a glory; more glorious far to walk on and trail paint where you walk.”

‘I suffer pain, and want become need…I am allowed no motherfucking means to make resistance.  I wait for death, brothers.  Pour one out for remembrance of my soul’.”

“Why seek martyrdom when you could bring a hundred down with you?  Turn martyrdom to murderdom.  Paint the way; make them pay.  Shit, kin, let’s be destroyers.”

Devotions - Prayers, repentances and rituals.  (”Leader.”  “Congregation/faithful.”)

Repentance of sin (ending) - “Hail messiahs both.”  “Their works, their great motherfucking joke in the pits of the worlds they left and in the space in between.”  “Hail messiahs both.” “Your penance is paid.”

Reaffirmation of faith - “If I go false on promised devotions let messiahs grind stardust out my bones.”  “If you’d paint the face of flawed unholy troll with the shades of our holy messiahs, answer yes brother I will.” “Yes brother, I will.”“If you believe truly in what holy mess and bloody riot will come at end of worlds, if you plan on being full and motherfucking ready, make some motherfuckin’ noise.” “(Response, freeform).”“Have your ticket ready when you kick it, give me an amen brothers and sisters.” “Amen.”  “No mercy, faithful one.” “Amen.”  “No fear.”

The Dark Scriptures - only shown to religious sacrifices before their deaths. Readers must subsequently die. Contents are a mystery.

--

His/Her/Their Mirthful Majesty

King/Queen/Crown of Colors

His/Her/Their Holy Hilarity

Biggest brother/sister

The Ringmaster

[acescorazon]

Changes

Chapter: 3/?

word count: 2514

Rating: M

Warnings: Crocodile , Explicit language, minor violence (slightly less than last chapter's lol.)

Chapter excerpt:

Crocodile glances around the room before looking back down at his papers, “It turns out with Buggy’s new status…” He pauses, grimacing slightly, “With the Clown’s new status, the marines won’t just come attacking us out of the blue, but these bounties will definitely be seen as a threat, possibly even a declaration of war, and we have to be prepared for when they do decide to come after us or the event of a buster call.”

A buster call?!

“W-Woah, woah, woah!” Buggy stammers, feeling the familiar sensation of dread rising in the pit of his stomach. “They…They wouldn’t do something crazy like blow up the entire island…right?” He asks, voice starting to crack a little as he speaks, “R-right?”

Mihawk speaks up, in a calm, flat tone, seemingly unworried about the possibility that the island could be wiped off the surface of the planet, “Of course they would,” he replies bluntly, “It’s only a matter of time before they try to annihilate us.”

[Previous part]

Buggy manages to avoid both Crocodile and Mihawk for about a week after the official public debut of Cross Guild, only catching brief glimpses of his ‘underlings’ out of the corner of his eye here and there around the island, before his luck comes to a rather abrupt end one morning. Crocodile calls for their first official meeting, after ordering Buggy beforehand to clear out a space for a makeshift meeting room, and even now Buggy has no idea why they even need a meeting room or to hold a meeting…

The quickest ‘meeting room’ Buggy can come up with is a storage closet filled partly with weapons that he cleared out a little and then put a table, a whiteboard, and three chairs in, and as soon as Crocodile steps foot inside the makeshift room, he sticks his nose high up in the air and sighs, “Whatever, let’s just get started,” He says, tossing an overstuffed manila folder onto the table in the middle of the room and having a seat first. Crocodile is impossible to please, and Buggy questions whether he’s an actual pirate or some kind of corrupted CEO with overly high standards.

“As briefly discussed before, our first step will be putting bounties on the Marines’ heads.” Crocodile opens up his folder, pulling out a couple of neatly stacked papers, “I’ve compiled a list of over one hundred marines, categorizing and ranking them all from highest to lowest bounties already to make things go a little faster,” He hands his papers over to Buggy, who looks at him, stunned and slightly horrified, “You make the bounty posters for them and have them distributed, but do come and see me before you distribute them, I don’t want a repeat of last weeks incident.”  

Yeah…Neither does Buggy.

Buggy looks down at the papers Crocodile just gave him, scanning over the list in utter disbelief… There are so many names here…where did he get all these from?! Vice Admiral Monkey D. Garp… Vice Admiral Tsuru….  Vice Admiral Smoker….He reads, and the list continues to grow from there. Crocodile has everyone from Vice Admirals to Captains, to lieutenants and even lowly ranking officers on his hit list, he has people Buggy didn’t even know existed on the list, and for once he’s glad he’s on Crocodile’s side and not one of his enemies.  

“Of course, I don’t expect anyone to be able to take on any admirals, or even Akainu, but you never know what’ll happen,” Crocodile states, handing over what has to be the scariest list of names Buggy’s seen so far. “Moving on, We’ll also need ships, weapons, medical supplies, and most importantly, men and land.”

Woah, woah…Buggy’s still not even over this whole marine thing, are they really just going to skip over the fact that Crocodile was able to compile a list of hundreds of marines within a week? Where did he get this kind of information? “For the time being I want anyone we can get, making these bounties and offering protection to any brave individual who’s willing to take on the marines and or make a criminal out of themselves is the quickest way to get more people on our side because as it stands we only have about two hundred and thirty-five men, and there’s no way we could withstand a possible attack from the government.”

Crocodile glances around the room before looking back down at his papers, “It turns out with Buggy’s new status…” He pauses, grimacing slightly, “With the Clown’s new status, the marines won’t just come attacking us out of the blue, but these bounties will definitely be seen as a threat, possibly even a declaration of war, and we have to be prepared for when they do decide to come after us or the event of a buster call.”

A buster call?!

“W-Woah, woah, woah!” Buggy stammers, feeling the familiar sensation of dread rising in the pit of his stomach. “They…They wouldn’t do something crazy like blow up the entire island…right?” He asks, voice starting to crack a little as he speaks, “R-right?”

Mihawk speaks up, in a calm, flat tone, seemingly unworried about the possibility that the island could be wiped off the surface of the planet, “Of course they would,” he replies bluntly, “It’s only a matter of time before they try to annihilate us.”

Crocodile, who seems equally as unbothered by the idea of a buster call, simply nods, “Exactly, which is why we need more men and land. These bounties will give us men, power, and higher status, but obviously, it’ll come with consequences. There will be a lot of injuries, deaths, and overall destruction by doing this.”

“So why are we doing it?!” Buggy exclaims, “This seems…”

“We can’t live in the world government’s world, can we?” Crocodile asks, still acting a little too nonchalant for Buggy’s liking, “So we’re going to create our own utopia.”

What the fuck does that even mean…?  

Oh, god. They’re going to die. They’re going to be blown to pieces and if they aren’t, they’re going to be executed in front of millions just like…

God, Buggy can’t do this. He can’t handle the idea of his home being blown up, or having to go back to Impel down, or, or being publicly executed. He-

He can’t just leave Cross Guild, Mihawk and Crocodile will kill him. But…remaining in Cross Guild will also get him killed. He’s really going to die. Any path Buggy chooses in life seems like it’ll lead to certain death, and he’s exhausted, he feels like he’s the one with a hit on his head. Buggy thinks back to when he was just a small-time pirate and finds himself missing those days where no one knew who he was or about his past. Back then he could run around freely without worrying about his men or his home being destroyed, but now even if he tried to run away from all his problems, there’s nowhere for him to hide.

God, he’s actually going to die.

There are tears in Buggy’s eyes as Crocodile rises from his seat, pulling out a photo before pinning it to the whiteboard in the room, “We can discuss ancient weapons in the next meeting, but for now let’s move on to land. In the event of a buster call, we’ll immediately have to get off the island and relocate. Now, I’ve picked a few islands out, but this one right here is the most interesting and closest, boys.” He points to the picture on the board, “This is Prickly Pear island, a spacious desert kingdom with a tyrannical king who’s starving his people and hoarding most of the country's wealth and resources. It’s easy pickings, we don’t even have to turn the people against their king, we just show up and ‘save’ all the citizens, and take over.” He grins.   

God, Buggy doesn’t want Emptee Bluffs Island to be blown up and he doesn’t want to live in the desert with Crocodile where he’s practically invincible, he just wants this nightmare to end...He just wishes he were still a warlord, no.. no, he wishes he were just a lowly pirate in Orange Town.  

God, he hates his life so much.

…

Their meeting lasts a lot longer than Buggy would have hoped it would, and he could hardly keep up with all Crocodile’s plans because, you know, there’s that new silly possibility of the world government blowing them to kingdom come… ahaha, so silly. Anyways once the meeting is over, he quickly gets the hell away from Crocodile and Mihawk as fast as possible and looks for men who can make the bounties for the marines because Buggy sure as shit isn’t going to do it himself, though he doesn’t know if they should really be doing this in the first place...

Whatever. Whatever, it’s too late.

Buggy counted one hundred and seventy-five different marines on Crocodile’s list, and the worst part: Crocodile says he’s actively trying to find out more names, and they’re…They’re fucking doomed. At this point, Buggy just has to pick which way he wants to die, and to be honest… He’d rather die by the Marines' hands than Crocodile’s.  

He finds himself anxiously roaming around and just… taking in the view of his island and all the men at work. Even with Mihawk and Crocodile around, Emptee Bluffs Island is bustling and filled with life, and to think that all that could be taken away in a moment's notice just because of Crocodile’s stupid pla--

“Hey, Clown.” God, what now?  Buggy thinks to himself, hating the way that Crocodile can’t be bothered to use his actual name most of the time. “I forgot to tell you that I want a main ship built right away.”

Buggy sighs, turning around to face his tormentor, ”But my men are already busy trying to fix the ships the marines didn’t completely destroy.”

“And? Find someone to build me a flagship, and make it quick.”

So bossy and annoying… Buggy closes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath, trying to remain calm. If he lets his pride and his ego get the best of him right now, he’s going to lose his life. For once in his life, he should just shut up… But the urge to tell Crocodile to go to hell is so strong…Crocodile’s so demanding, and Buggy… just wants to…

“Yes.” He replies a moment later, not wanting to get on Crocodile’s bad side again, he’s had enough of that for a lifetime. “Sure. I’ll get right on that.” He tries to end the conversation there and walk away, but Crocodile stops him, “One last thing, clown, about your appearance…”

After Crocodile has threatened to sell him into slavery, beat him senseless, took over his island, and gave him the world’s most unreasonable requests and expected him to fulfill everything in such a short amount of time, why was the straw that broke the camel's back Crocodile criticizing his appearance? “I don’t want Cross Guild to be seen as a joke. Get rid of the onesie and the annoying red nose.”

Get rid of the annoying red nose…

He told him to…He told him to…. Buggy stares at Crocodile, speechless, he feels like saying something he might regret, but it’ll get him killed. He wants to live… this whole time he’s been fighting for his life…and to throw it away so carelessly… “Understand?” Crocodile asks with a displeased look now on his face, not that Buggy knows why he’s looking at him like that.

Get rid of the annoying red nose.

This altercation marks the first (and last) time Buggy tells Crocodile to, “Eat shit and die.” and things go as well as one would expect them to as soon as the insult leaves his mouth. He really should have kept his big mouth shut, but he didn’t, and instantly ends up regretting his actions, like always.

Crocodile chases Buggy all around the island, face red and filled with rage as he screams every cuss word imaginable at Buggy, and Buggy runs away like he owes Crocodile money, which, coincidentally, he does. “I’msosorry,” He babbles out, and the phrase ‘I’m sorry’ has to be his favorite phrase considering how often he uses it these days, “I didn’t mean to…” Oh, who is he kidding? He met everything he said, but he doesn’t think he should get murdered for his words alone.

Buggy runs past a few of his beloved crew members: Cabaji, Mohji and Richie, and finally, Alvida, but no one seems interested in helping him out. They all watch as he runs by, looking confused, then horrified, then once realization finally sets in, they simply look the other way. Cowards! All of em are cowards, and they have absolutely no loyalty!  

Crocodile does end up capturing Buggy though, he’s incredibly stubborn and that is yet another thing that Buggy has come to find out about his new business partner. He also really hates being insulted, go figure, and ends up punching the shit out of Buggy’s poor face, again, leaving welts all over him as he so graciously reminds Buggy that he can gut him like a fish at any moment if he wanted to and that he’s lucky to be alive.

Buggy begs for mercy the entire time, but that only seems to anger Crocodile more and he calls him…What was it…? Oh, that’s right, he calls him ‘A worthless coward who should have never been made an emperor’, and then proceeds to tell him how much he hates him.

He makes Buggy feel so good about himself…haha…

They never come to an agreement, Crocodile just grows tired of kicking Buggy’s ass and leaves, and Buggy winds up filled with more hatred than before for Crocodile, picking himself and his teeth up off the ground after his beating, skull still throbbing from Crocodile’s wrath. Okay, maybe he deserved that ass-kicking, but he still thinks Crocodile went a little too far… Nevertheless, Buggy continues on with his day, now instructing some of his crew who are shipwrights to build Crocodile his stupid ship for stupid Cross Guild, hoping that for once his crew will do something half-assed and that the ship will end up sinking or capsizing when Crocodile (and hopefully only Crocodile.) is onboard.

((A/N: Redeeming this fucker (Crocodile) is going to be a BITCH. Trust in me and the process, we'll get to where we need to go though. Thanks for reading, i love you pookies~! ALSO P.S ...Think the next few chapters might have depressed Buggy sooo.. BUT TRUST IN THE PROCESS BABIES.))

[darkcrowprincess]

The losers club parents:

*trigger warning use of homophobic words*

*their parents have all noticed their children have been missing together for hours. They start looking in all the spots the kids hang out.*

Mrs and Mr Uris calling out together, their voices echoing together out near the barrens: STAN!! STANLEY!

Mrs Denbrough freaking out and hyper ventilating: We cant lose another child Zack! I can't lose another baby!

Mr Denbrough tries to console her but it feels like empty words: We'll find him. He'll be alright. Its not like Georgie he's with his friends.

Mr and Mrs Hanlon yell out together next: MIKE!!

Sonia Kaspbrak: Your children are never going near Eddie again! You hear me!

Mr and Mrs Hanlon call out again: MIKE!

Maggie Tozier is unfortunately stuck near Sonia, her husband up ahead with Ms Hanscom so they both could call out for Richie and Ben together. The parents have spread out in a big circle near the woods of the barrens. Each calling out their childrens names hoping they'll hear it. Maggie was unfortunately left to deal with Sonia( who they were surprised that the hypochondriac actually agreed to look with them)

Maggie tries to be nice and puts a comforting hand on Sonia's shoulder: Sonia it will be alright. Well find them. It's not any of the boys fault.

Sonia slaps the women's hand away and goes on a horrible tirade: NO! My Eddie Bear is delicate. He should have never run off with any of these boys! Especially your son!

Maggie is finally pissed off(and protective): What do you mean by that?!

Sonia with a cruel smile on her face: You know what your son is like. The whole town knows what a dirty boy he is. But I will not have that little faggot infecting my son with his disgusting feelings!

Maggie slaps the woman hard across her face. Red is in her vision. Her long nails leave scratches along her fat cheek.

Wentworth, goes to stop his wife from full on beating the shit out of Eddies bitch of a mother: Maggie!

Maggie: Our children are missing and all you care about is saying hurtful things about my son! I don't give a shit if my son is gay or both our kids have feelings for each other! As long as they're happy!

Maggie is about to jump on the vile woman but her husband picks her up. She's still tries to kick and hit at Sonia (unknowingly, she looks a lot like her son in that moment).

Maggie: You are a vile woman and your son deserves better. FRANK WOULD HATE YOU, especially for what your doing to your son.

Sonia: YOU BITCH! You take that back!

Sonia is held back by Mr and Mrs Denbrough.

Maggie: Why its not like I'm lying, Frank if he was alive right now would take Eddie away from you and never look back! And it be within his right! Your suffocating your son!

Sonia screams in anger: I'm protecting him! Its because of all your kids!

The two mothers keep fighting. Which causes the other parents to come closer and try to help. Unknowingly their children are at the top of the cliff of the barrens hearing everything.

All 7 of the losers peak their heads over the cliff to watch everything. Like little animals popping their heads out of hidding.

Eddie and Richie both stare at each other in shock.

Bill: W-we need to get down there. I-I can't believe t-the-y ww-were looking for us.

Richie: Do we have to, I'm actually finding it really cool how badass my mom is being right now.

Bill: R-richie! What about Eddie?!

Eddie with a bit of satisfaction for himself: Give it a few more minutes. Mrs Tozier just tackled my mom into the mud.

The losers all look back to see the fight.

Eddie to Richie: Your mom is so cool.

Richie with stars in his eyes: 🤩 I know right.

Richie without thinking moves fully out of hiding to cheer his mom on: GO MOM!

Maggie who finally hears her son, looks up to see the kids on the cliff: RICHIE?!

The other losers: Richie! How are we suppose to explain this to them?!

*This being the fact that they just finished fighting an evil space clown*

Richie: Oops.

Maggie dropping Sonia Kaspbrak back into the mud, yells back up to her son: RICHARD WENTWORTH TOZIER! Get your ass down here now! You know how worried we have all been!

Richie nervous now: Ooooh full name not good.

[riotdyke]

Dude in this TF2 lobby (that was also calling everyone that moved the R slur) tried to bring up poly v mono discourse and instantly got both clowned on by everyone else and then banned. I say this mostly because I am shocked such a dipshit discourse (literally they're just mad they're not getting any) is already spilling into other online spaces and being adopted by that sort of person. Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering it is an inherently reactionary position to take.

[fibula-rasa]

Watch More Movies Notebook: September ‘24

(and a few things from August because I didn’t have the time to update last month!)

This month's blog journal features two contenders for best new-to-me films of the year (from Argentina and Brazil respectively), a handful of Depression-era shorts that range from absurdist comedy to Jungian fable to psychological actuality, plus one for the Sad Clown Hall of Fame (I've decided that's a real thing). Also included: a round up of recent posts and a preview of what's coming up this month.

Favorite New-to-me Films of the Month

(listed in order pictured above, L to R)

As always, if any other films catch your eye, but you need specific content/trigger warnings, feel free to ask and I’ll try to oblige!

READ on BELOW the JUMP!

I, the Worst of All / Yo, la peor de todas (1990)

[letterboxd | imdb | kanopy (US)]

María Luisa Bemberg’s film adaptation of Octavio Paz’s study of the life and work of Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz. Sor Juana was a 17th century polymath from (what is now) Mexico and the film recounts her struggles to continue her work and her relationship with the vicereine of New Spain.

This is easily one of my favorite new-to-me movies of the year so far. Biopics often feel formally stodgy to me, but Bemberg’s film is highly visual and plays with time, space, and symbolism, revealing emotional truths in ways that avoid going artificially melodramatic. The relationship between Sor Juana and the vicereine unfolds beautifully and both actresses, Assumpta Serna and Dominique Sanda, are fantastic. I would recommend checking this one out even if you haven’t read any of Sor Juana’s work—in fact, watching this movie will likely motivate you to get reading! 

——— ——— ———

La cartomancienne (1932)

[letterboxd | imdb]

An experimental short about a lovelorn young woman seeking advice from a fortune teller. Jerome Hill’s first directorial outing is a Jungian fable peppered with references to supernatural folk beliefs. It’s evocatively constructed and has a great rhythm to it (paired with Hill’s original score). It’s a real gem!

——— ——— ———

Little Geezer (1932)

[letterboxd | imdb]

Theodore Huff took a mess of New Jersey ragamuffins, dressed them up as grown ups, had them act out half-remembered scenes from pre-code crime movies, and gave us the gift of Little Geezer. I found it genuinely funny, but, even if you don’t vibe with Huff’s sense of humour, you might get a kick out of how clearly the kids enjoyed playing gangsters or the shocking novelty of the kids smoking, drinking, carrying tommy guns, etc. Greta Garbage’s impression of Garbo was surprisingly great though??? Might not recommend this one as freely as the two above as Huff so densely packed Geezer with references you may need to have seen all of the movies referenced to pick up what Huff is putting down.

——— ——— ———

The City (1939)

[letterboxd | imdb]

A short, five-part documentary about American city planning produced for the New York World’s Fair of 1939 might be a hard sell for some, but with its truly outstanding creative team, The City is more compelling viewing than you might assume! The City was conceived by housing advocate Catherine Bauer, written by documentarian Pare Lorentz (The Plow that Broke the Plains) and Lewis Mumford, directed by Ralph Steiner (H2O, Mechanical Principles, Surf and Seaweed) and future MoMA director Willard Van Dyke (Hands), assisted by Henwar Rodakiewicz (Portrait of a Young Man in Three Movements), and scored by Aaron Copland. I might have some personal bias here as I grew up in NJ and have lived in New York and Pittsburgh, but as a modern viewer, I found The City to be an interesting window into the past.

——— ——— ———

White Paradise / Bílý ráj (1924)

[letterboxd | imdb | Watch at Národní filmový archiv]

Looks like Christmas X Criminals also has a tradition outside of the English-speaking world! Anny Ondra plays Nina, a whimsical young orphan under the guardianship of a nasty tavern keeper. On Christmas Eve, Ivan, a man framed for a crime against Nina’s parents, escapes prison to spend one last holiday with his ailing mother. Together, Ivan and Nina with the aid of a travelling puppeteer uncover the true bandit, exonerating Ivan and freeing Nina.

Bílý ráj is a charming film shot on location in the Šumava forest in Bohemia. Don’t be put off by the overly literal English translation of the title, the connotations are off by modern standards! This will be a solid recommendation for the coming winter months and I’m thinking about putting together a little list of some of the best Christmas X Criminals movies out there. If you have any underappreciated/underseen instances of the trope please suggest them to me! Bonus: it has a wonderful poster!

——— ——— ———

Seeing the World, Part One: A Visit to New York, N.Y. (1937)

[letterboxd | imdb]

This cheeky short by Rudy Burckhardt is a mock travelogue about visiting New York City. Referencing both Traveltalks shorts and the city symphony films, Burckhardt playfully jumbles genres and the film’s acerbity doesn’t overstay its welcome with a ~10 minute runtime. Also, Seeing the World features Joseph Cotten’s first screen role!

——— ——— ———

The Golden Clown / Klovnen (1926)

[letterboxd | imdb]

The great Gösta Ekman turns in one of the best silent film performances I’ve ever seen in this. Ekman plays Joe Higgins, a talented young clown in a travelling circus. Joe is in love with Daisy, the stunt rider and daughter of the circus’ owners. A twist of fate results in Joe becoming a top performer, headlining his own theatrical production in Paris. Unfortunately, Joe becomes a workaholic and Daisy gets romanced on the side by a caddish fashion designer. Both of their lives fall apart after they decide to divorce. A.W. Sandberg does a phenomenal job of heightening personal tragedy to an epic scale. I was astounded at how smoothly Ekman performed twenty years worth of aging in two hours. As much as I enjoyed this film (and cried over the finale), it did leave me wondering if they make movies about happy clowns? CW/TW for suicide.

——— ——— ———

April Fool (1924)

[letterboxd | imdb]

An occasional habit of mine is to watch silent comedy shorts during my lunch break. One afternoon this month, I watched three Charley Chase/Jimmy Jump shorts. They were all winners, but April Fool was my favorite. On the first of April,  Jimmy Jump gets blindsided by pranks when he arrives at work. Jimmy swears he won’t get pranked again and makes a bet with his coworker (Noah Young). Chaos ensues. The other shorts I watched, Publicity Pays (1924) and A Ten-Minute Egg (1924), were also good, though not as tightly constructed. Publicity Pays features an especially sweet and well-behaved monkey BTW.

——— ——— ———

Footnote to Fact (1933)

[letterboxd | imdb]

A harrowing short by Lewis Jacobs documenting The Great Depression in New York City. Originally intended to be part of a series that wasn’t completed, Footnote to Fact survived on its own (thanks to Anthology Film Archives) as a stream-of-consciousness rhythmic portrait of the quotidian horror of the Depression. Honestly, I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this earlier, but I’m glad to have finally remedied that.  Worth checking out, if you’re in a place to handle it. TW/CW for suicide and depictions of real dead animals (in a butcher window).

——— ——— ———

The Hole in the Wall (1929)

[letterboxd | imdb]

After a major train accident, The Fox (Edward G. Robinson) and his crew are forced to rework their phony psychic scheme. When Jean (Claudette Colbert) knocks on their door, fresh off a prison sentence for a crime she didn’t commit, she takes on the role of their faux medium. Jean has her own revenge plot in mind: kidnapping the granddaughter of the rich woman who framed her. 

I came across this movie when reading about Robert Florey’s feature films and I’m glad I did—as a big fan of both Robinson and Colbert. Robinson doesn’t have all that much to do in the movie, but he’s very charming in it. Colbert gets the most to do with the conflicted Jean—a woman who chooses a life of crime only after a life of crime was chosen for her. But, the real reason this overlooked pre-code made this list is that the climax of the film was such a shock to me! I won’t give it away in case you decide to check it out yourself, but I never anticipated that!

——— ——— ———

Quilombo (1984)

[letterboxd | imdb | kanopy (US)]

I’ve had really great luck working through my watchlist lately. Yo, la peor de todas is certainly on my best new-to-me list for the whole year and so is Quilombo! Quilombo is a fantasticized telling of the true story of Palmares, a free community of escaped slaves in colonial-era Brazil. The film primarily focuses on the events surrounding the fight to remain free of Portuguese authorities while Ganga Zumba and later Zumbi led the settlement. As I’m not Brazilian, this history was largely new to me and it’s been enriching to learn more about it. To me, this film seems like a great entry point. It’s stylish in a meaningful way, has a fantastic soundtrack (which I’ve already listened to twice since watching the film), and the production design, editing, and performances are all super. Also, Quilombo is a film worth studying if you want to see how a filmmaker can artistically condense a large span of time to fit feature length without awkwardly hopping along a timeline of events like a slideshow brought to life.

——— ——— ———

Monthly Round-up

In case you missed it, I spent the better part of the last few months constructing and heavily researching “Cosplay the Classics: Nazimova in Salomé.” There were so many compelling avenues to go down that I split the cosplay into two and a half parts!

Part One: “The Importance of Being Peter” covers Nazimova’s creative decisions in adapting Oscar Wilde’s play for the silent screen—illustrating both her filmmaking techniques and her keen awareness of her core fanbase: young/independent women.

Part Two: “Artists United?” details the struggles Nazimova had in getting Salomé released and finding its audience. This part describes how the American film industry was growing and changing in the early 1920s and how Nazimova’s independent productions fit into (or didn’t fit into) that landscape. I also aimed to complicate the oversimplified narrative of Salomé as a flop by collecting and analysing data surrounding its release in comparison to her Metro films.

Part Two Point Five (a.k.a. Cosplay the Classics: Post-script) will be up soon. It’s a slightly shorter piece covering Salomé’s place in cinematic Orientalism. Stay tuned!

——— ——— ———

Since the last notebook installment, I made themed gif/still sets for:

The Golden Clown (1926)

Salvation Hunters (1925)

(which I talked about in the last installment of WMM Notebook)

Danse Macabre (1922)

Yo, la peor de todas (1990)

A Day in Santa Fe (1931)

(which I talked about in the last installment of WMM Notebook)

I also made some gifs of my Salomé cosplay, because I was so pleased with how the wig turned out I needed to show it in motion!

——— ——— ———

In addition to the follow-up to “CtC: Salomé,” I’m working on a quick how-to rundown of the cosplay, in case you need some Halloween inspiration! 

I’ve also got a slate of spooky-season appropriate gifs/stills to post here on tumblr for October. 

Until next time, Happy Halloween and Happy viewing!

——— ——— ———

☕Appreciate my work? Buy me a coffee! ☕

[wynnyfryd]

44 for the dialogue prompt <3

44.  “There really is a thin line between love and hate, huh?”

Eddie needs a cigarette. 

Nevermind the fact that he’s actively smoking one. He needs more. Like��� like twelve more. Yeah. Twelve more cigs all lit up at once and crammed into his dumb mouth so no one can see how his jaw is hanging slack and fucking stupid over Steve Harrington and his horrible rodeo clown outfit.

Two days ago, Steve called Eddie up and explained that he had volunteered to chaperone the kids’ Sadie Hawkins dance on Friday night, but his car was in the shop and could Eddie pleeeease give him a ride? 

And Eddie, being a goddamn moron and assuming that “chaperoning” meant “wearing my usual polos and jeans combination that you have learned to stop drooling over,” agreed. Smiled real big into the receiver and said ‘No problem, Harrington, I’ll see you then.’

And now. Now, it’s a problem. 

A Problem, because Steve really went all out with the school spirit, dressed himself up like Dolly Parton’s biggest fan (red neckerchief, denim button-down with rivets all over, chunky belt buckle and worn leather cowboy boots) and then left Eddie to stew about it in the parking lot all night. 

He’s been loitering out here for almost two hours now, a little stoned and chain-smoking against the side of his van and wondering how the hell he’s supposed to drive all the way back across town with this guy in his car without spontaneously combusting or trying to suck the dude's dick. 

And like—

Like, yeah, sure, they made out at that party last month when they were both smashed and now Steve keeps calling him out of the blue, but that doesn’t mean he’d let Eddie grab him by his denim lapels and maul him against the side of his van in a high school parking lot. Which is really all Eddie can think about doing at the moment.

He takes a long, shaky drag.

“Hey, Eddie!”

Eddie’s head snaps up, and he spots Steve waving at him, doing a graceful half-jog across the lot toward Eddie’s van.

Eddie stamps the cig out beneath his boot — regrets it immediately, because what the fuck is he supposed to do with his hands? But he can’t focus on that right now. Not when Steve is coming to an easy stop right in front of him, smiling like an eager, windswept puppy who just ran laps around the park. Steve sweeps a hand through his perfect hair and pokes his tongue between his teeth and says, “Howdy.” 

Howdy. With a little wink and everything, so like. Just kill him now, honestly. Kill ‘em both, for both their sakes.

Eddie fishes for another cigarette. Finds the pack empty, fucking shit. His eyes rake over Steve and the ridiculous outfit that he can already tell is going to haunt his hottest dreams for weeks. “There really is a thin line between love and hate, huh?” he mutters under his breath. 

“Yeah?” Steve adjusts the bandana at his throat, shoots Eddie a cocky grin and steps into his space. Presses him against the side of the van and brushes a curl behind his ear. “Which side are you leaning toward, cowboy?”

And it’s like all at once the spell breaks. Eddie gags, sputters, “Oh, god, Stevie, hate! Complete and utter hatred; that was awful!” 

He spits at the ground like he’s trying to get the taste of Steve’s terrible pick-up line out of his mouth, and Steve throws his head back and barks out a laugh, all his pretty moles on display under his stupid denim collar.

Eddie laughs, too. Laughs hard, can’t tell if he’s laughing at how pleased Steve seems to be with himself, or how ugly Steve’s shirt is, or how the ugliness isn’t really lessening Eddie’s desire to fuck him while he’s wearing it.

“God,” Eddie sighs around a smile. “You’re the worst.”

“I know,” Steve smiles back. His expression softens then, goes hesitant around the edges. “But, um. I think, like…” 

His eyes drift to Eddie’s lips. Back again, looking up through long, pretty lashes. “I think you might want to kiss me anyway?”

Eddie leans in. Nose to nose, sharing breath. Their lips brush. “Think you might be right.”

---

send me prompts!

[chaoticskyy]

So I wanna point smth out about the credits to Hoziers' upcoming album.

BECKON IS CREDITED!

as is

GITLEMAN

Now, a lot of Hozier's fans probably don't listen to rap music, which means yall probably don't know that Beckon has produced for THE Kendrick Lamar. Specifically, his award winning album DAMN.

GItelman has worked with H.E.R

Which MEANs this album most likey has a heavier hand in the R&B influences, even more so than in the past. I better not see any of you clowning and under appreciating anything that sounds particularly out of the norm for Hozier. Especially since although they aren't black, they both create art that originated in Black American spaces. And therefore, imma be on the lookout for any clownery if his music sounds a little more R&B than before.

[swoosbadfuture]

ian and erin headcanons . hi im sane

Ian

Barely scraping 5’7

Half Canadian on his mom’s side

Bisexual, male pref

Straight A* student all aside from literature in which he barely has a B. Do not mention literature to him ever he’ll go mad

superiority complex . start the clown music . he needs to prove he’s the best always because if he isn’t the best then he’s automatically the worst

Very very autistic + low empathy. Prefers logic > emotion . Has a kind of “im not the weird one everyone else is weird I’m the normal one” view by accident

Complete Mama’s boy. you would never expect it but he is her little boy through and through

Gets along well w his dad too but they have very similar personalities and kinda clash a lot . Similar ideals just both very argumentative n stubborn . But god they will sit and listen to music for hours and just go full autism mode over it

Both his parents are very chill though. They are also both goths n r very proud of Ian

He's an only child

Voice breaks the moment he shows any emotion he’ll be talking normally n then get emotional n his voice just 📈

Speaking of which he is overly emotional and very bad at expressing it . very volatile person

Loyal to a fault and very justice oriented but also kinda holds these values to everyone without realising not everyone has the same morals . He doesn’t quite Get that not everyone is the same as him

Overprotective in a way that sometimes comes across as possessive . He’s not possessive he just has issues okay 💔

Phobia of the ocean and everything in it u will never see him on a boat ever he’d rather Die

Was good friends with Jason in kindergarten but kinda drifted apart from him as Jason got closer with Kevin. Kevin and Ian have never liked eachother insult eachother mercilessly. Poor Jason had to sit there and watch as they tried to beat eachother to a pulp. You can tell Kevin hates Ian because he rarely ever calls him by his first name

has a boyfriend in secret. Very much denies it. Only Erin and his parents know and he is trying so very hard to not let the secret out

Wants OUT of McKinley so bad . doesn’t even care abt changing his last name. I imagine McKinley is probably a bit of a small suburban town thats a bit of a bedroom community. The theme park is probably more well known than the town itself. Ian knows that if he just moves a few towns over then the name association will Go Away

Wanted to do astrophysics at college :) thinks space is cool as fuck

Resting face is worse than bitch he looks like he’s about to commit a murder in cold blood . Cold stare 0 emotions. And then suddenly he smiles and he’s just :D

Must stick to a consistent sleep schedule or else he’s a delusional nightmare

Stronger than he looks but would also probably crumple into 1000 pieces if he stubbed his toe

Likes horror movies but is lowkey a bit squeamish . would never admit it though. His favourite movie is Saw 2004 and he has to look away at all the gorey parts

Erin

5’8 and uses this 1 inch she has over Ian for Everything.

German ancestry on her dad’s side but doesn really know much about it besides that It’s There

Bisexual w pref for girls .

She/they nonbinary

Dyed her hair blue once and the ends are still kinda stained . Doesn’t care to cut it off because she thinks it looks cool (it does (it absolutely does))

Actual straight A* student and again uses this against Ian and teases him about his many struggles with Shakespeare

Collects bones n skulls n animal pelts and etc. Owns a few taxidermy animals .

Also very autistic n relates a lot to Ian bc of it

Is actually fairly good at socialising! just hates people

Parents do not understand the whole goth thing but are trying their best . Yes they did freak out when Erin brought home a taxidermy rat she got while out with Ian at an arts fair but oh well what can you do

Used to do figure skating when she was young !! still very confident at ice skating n likes to show off whenever she goes compared to Ian whos constantly falling on his ass. Let her have her moments of glory she deserves them.

The one who does the nail polish. Hence why hers is always perfect and Ian’s is always chipped bc she can always touch hers up whenever she needs to and Ian Cannot

Very aware of Ian’s superiority complex absolutely humbles him every chance she gets

Kinda obsessed w shitty low budget horror movies and indie films

Absolutely adores the art of SFX and fake gore / blood / etc n loved doing it herself. Halloween was her favourite holiday and she’d always go all out with it. Or would grab Ian and make him sit there for 2 hours. “come here sit down I need to see how realistically I can make your hand look like it’s been mauled” “Erin ew what the fuck”

Crush on Wendy that she’d never ever admit to. Only Ian knows and they have a deal where if he doesn’t spill about her crush she won’t spill about his boyfriend. Problem solved (they’re at eachother’s necks over it)

Makes friendship bracelets for her friends. Rest in peace Erin Ulmer you wouldve loved the Loom Bands craze of 2014

the both of them

Social rejects but they own it ™️ . Will literally take in anyone who’s also a bit of a ‘weird kid’ and convert them to goth subculture

Unfortunately this happens never it really do just kinda be the two of them vs the world huh

Dated for like a week once in sophomore year. Broke up immediately after their first kiss and decided they’d just pretend it never happened and that that 1 week of their lives just doesn’t exist. Did not happen ❤️

That being said though RAAAH WHAT ARE THE BOUNDS OF FRIENDSHIP. They hug and cuddle and hold hands and kiss cheeks constantly even if only as friends. Very physically affectionate though partially kinda to fuck with people who can’t seem to understand what the hell is going on with them both

“Oh yeah look at us nobody thinks we’re queer” “Ian we’re goth we might as well have it tattooed on our foreheads” “Fucks sake I can’t have shit in the 21st century”

Friendly banter is fucking insane they are just straightup insulting eachother. You know that one Gumball meme where Gumball is in hospital after being hit by a bus and he gets a card from Darwin saying “that bus should’ve ended you. love Darwin” that’s them that’s them that is them

They care eachother so much they are just bad at vocalising it so if they arent sitting there hugging they instead feel the need to be aggressively mean to eachother in loving and caring way

Erin is way more grounded and has more common sense than Ian who meanwhile is batshit insane at times and will 100% do crazy shit for the hell of it

Both of them rockin up to the town next door w their fake IDs to buy a months worth of R rated movies (fool proof plan (Ian almost got arrested once))

If only they had been around when Vine came out …. they would’ve been famous i tell u

[mystiika]

re; chuckles the clown

h i s t o r y

chuckles is not good, nor evil. he is the epitome of chaotic lawful. he does everything because he can because it's 'fun' & he takes the form of a colorful space clown.

personality-wise, chuckles is an agent of chaos, with his cartoonish antics often leading to both trouble & problems that he & the party have to face. but chuckles has always been the optimistic one of the group, if not a little too much so, making jokes & keeping morale high

he wears a bowtie, a magic bowler hat, clown shoes, & coat, all garish colors of red & teal. a flower is pinned on his lapel, & his bowler hat has an antennae attached to it. as far as i know, his appearance in space chuckles is where we get specifics as scene in pictures 1 & 3 under the cut.

chuckles started as an npc from a dnd campaign called 'once upon a witchlight,' then has popped up since then here & there but he was first featured as a full character in their christmas one-shot: "twas the night before witchlight". then later became the space chuckles from the stardust rhapsody campaign. i have yet to watch any of the campaigns in full but i instantly vibed with space chuckles from what i saw so i'm adding him before i finish watching them lol.

so ! as implied above, there are a few different versions of chuckles out there. technically the chuckles from once upon a witchlight is a different chuckles than the one from the stardust rhapsody campaign ( space chuckles ). but space chuckles will be the primary chuckles on the blog.

the other other version of him matches the one in the middle where chuckles the clown is a boss introduced in dark deception: unchecked limitations. he's described as a tall black humanoid in a yellow harlequin outfit with a two-lobe jester cap. he wears a black mask with glowing yellow eyes & a mouth. his limbs are long & stretchy & the yellow parts of his outfit, body, & mask glow. unlike the jesters, he has a black & white cape, a tail with a jagged point at the end, & a slightly different outfit. he also has white teeth. this second version of chuckles will have a separate verse from space chuckles.

there was also chuckles from the non-canon on a silver strand one-shot but as its non-canon i'll be ignoring that one.

[rt-lots]

hiii um i wrote a hypnospace outlaw thingy... ive never shared my writing before so i am VERY nervous and i dont know how common this'll be 4 me but ya 👍

au where zane n corey paul r in the same school and also friends... in a mildly gay way

just fyi this isnt my usual writing style. unless you like it then actually i write like this exclusively and also all the time

word count is 1275 hope u likey 🙏

Zane has never heard of a tuba cover before. To him, it sounds pretty freaking stupid.

The tuba is not an instrument Zane has ever had any conscious thought about. To him, it's solely a background instrument for nerds in band to play at school assemblies. It's not really music- not like sick-as-crap electric guitar, bass or drums. It's the instrument you take out for marches, raising school spirit, and looking really lame.

Corey Paul, of course, feels differently.

The tuba is a beautiful instrument, both in sound and aesthetic. He likes how the gold tube wraps in on and around itself, almost making art with its function. It looks purposeful, because it is, and that air of maturity makes for good art. Corey also likes the sound of the tuba. He'd never really been an outgoing kid. His voice cracks under pressure or when he laughs too much and he's never had anything important enough to say with confidence. The tuba, though, is loud by default. Its sound is rich and deep, filling the room and demanding your attention. Corey likes that; he likes that the tuba knows what it wants, and both looks and sounds good doing it.

Zane's never really had much of a reason to give a crap what Corey thinks, though. They're friends, sure, but they both know where their interests lie. Corey had once tried bridging the gap by asking Zane if he could tuba him a song for his game, but quickly shut that down after being laughed at in his face.

Point is- it was fine. Corey could be a class clown comedian with an ugly instrument and Zane could be the X-Slayer game developer with all around superior tastes. Neither needed to change the other's mind.

…Which is why Corey's next move confuses him.

Corey stops Zane after his last class, doing that thing he does where he bounces on his heels in excitement. Corey and Zane have a schedule of hanging out every Thursday after school, and it's Monday, so he's not expecting him to come barreling into Mrs. Patterson's classroom, wheezing with excess energy, like he was rushing to see him. He doesn't expect Corey, someone usually so uptight about his personal space, to eagerly grab his shoulder, either, but he does that too, and it isn't terrible.

Through the breaths of an unathletic teenager who just ran down two flights of stairs and through a hall, Corey explains he has a surprise for Zane, something he's been working really hard on, and he just finished it so he has to come see it right now. Although confused, Zane doesn't have any gripes with this, and he tells Corey to just wait a minute for him to pack his things and he'll come see. Corey's hand retreats from his shoulder like a wounded animal, but he's still smiling as he says OK.

Zane thinks it's gross Corey's taking him to the Band Hall, otherwise known in his mind as Nerdface Central, but he reminds himself that Corey apparently worked hard on something for him, so he should hold back on any unsavory comments- just for a little bit.

Corey leads him to the center of the hall, up an elevated stage platform and to a white soor on the left. Zane feels some apprehension going in, like Corey's just asked him to walk straight into a teacher's lounge, but Corey opens the door and holds it for him, and the gesture is so homey that it'd feel wrong to do anything other than walk straight in.

The room past the door is significantly smaller, and seems to be some kind of closet. The room is entirely cleared out save for a small speaker, Corey's tuba case on the ground, and two chairs around it. Given that the chair furthest from him is right behind the tuba case, Zane assumes the other chair is for him, and slides his backpack off his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground before he sits in his seat.

The door shuts behind him and Corey hurries over to the speaker. Zane asks him what's the surprise but Corey unsurprisingly tells him to be patient. There's a small MP3 player attached to the speaker, and Corey fiddles with it some before pressing play. No sound comes out, but Corey doesn't seem alarmed, instead simply reaching down to his case and setting up his Tuba. He gently hauls it up into his lap and adjusts it accordingly, ready to be played. Zane feels a weird sort of antsy about it, and asks Corey again why exactly he's here. This time, Corey just smiles, and answers: "I found a Nothing Left For Me instrumental online."

Suddenly, the music starts.

Zane would recognize that intro anywhere, even when scraped to just its fundamentals. The realization is sudden, but interrupted by the deep tone of Corey's tuba. Zane almost can't hear the music over the tuba at first, but he's quick to notice how the instrumental and Corey's playing interact with eachother; they're meant to be the same song

Corey is playing him a tuba cover of Nothing Left For Me.

That sentence is about the lamest string of words Zane can possibly think of, but it really doesn't feel that way in the moment. Zane knows about Seepage- everything about Seepage- and he knows they don't post tutorials on how to play tuba covers of their music. For Corey to be playing a cover of Zane's favorite song, for him, on the freaking tuba, he'd have to have come up with the composition himself.

Usually, when receiving a gift, Zane doesn't feel much beyond a vague sense of hype and excitement. But imagining Corey listening to Nothing Left For Me for hours, reimagining it in a medium he could replicate, just to play it for Zane? He feels… flattered, which isn't a feeling he's used to.

A part of the back of Zane's mind is still arguing whether or not he likes this gift. Throwing Seepage's electric metal awesomeness into the ringer only for it to come out the end of a tuba should be a disgrace to Seepage itself, it says, and Zane agrees… just only in theory. Because maybe Corey didn't just listen to the song, maybe he had an understanding of what made it so awesome to Zane in the first place. And maybe that's why it manages to sound pretty good- even with a tuba.

Zane honestly didn't realize Corey liked him that much. As much as his cool punk persona was totally based in reality, he'd never had all that many friends. Not close ones, anyway. He hung out with dudes, they hung out with him, and that was about the end of it. None of his other buddies would make him a gift, nevertheless perform it for him. Does this mean something, then? Had Corey put nearly as much thought into this as Zane is thinking he did? The confrontation of this sudden fondness is confusing, and Zane doesn't know much of what to do with it.

Conveniently, of course, the music stops then, leaving a small bit of silence where Zane isn't totally snapped out of whatever train of thought Corey's sent him on. Corey either doesn't notice or doesn't care, and simply moves the interaction along with a "So? Did you like it?"

Zane looks Corey in the eye, past his square wire frame glasses and dorky grin. He smiles, all teeth, and a quick laugh escapes him, entirely gratitude and nerves as his ears burn a little behind him.

"Dude, you're really good!"

[ultimatefartwizard]

Agonies of a Late Homestuck Reader Pt.1

(Note: Alot of these entries coming up will be posted later than the initial reading and writing, but the writing and replies to any comments are live) -If anyone knows Hussie's current pronouns lmk I hear they are clowngender I think? Just wanting to be sure so I'm not using the wrong set) Okay so first part, only got to where John is starting sBurb before I put the thing down for other activities Starting from the top!

Very beginning, was a little perplexed yet amused with the strange inclusion of a lot of computer programming and data structure lingo, and that the kids somehow have personal hammer-space like data slots for their personal belongings in the real world. I'm just barely learning coding languages myself so it's both as lost on me as John and I also simultaneously understand what nonsense they are blabbing about with the sylladex.

There's quite a good amount of unexpected flowery language and vocabulary, I'm assuming its part of Hussie's strange weird perplexities to vomit out a ton of vocabulary words a mere 10 year old won't know (at least at first), shit I didn't even know half the words and I'm a grown ass man, so I guess this will ALSO be a learning experience for fancy word vomit too lmao

AND HUSSIE DROPPED THIS BOMB?

excuse me how is it legal for this utter freak-clown of a person to be this good at writing some insane poetry drop like this? No wonder why people around me during my middle school years were frothing over this work this fool is shockingly insane with the effort and lack there-of in this webcomic, if its really even labeled as such? This whole thing even has its own music score and animations and it's baffling especially for 2009, my experiences with back then was a huge lack of that unless it was like youtube comic readings with royalty free music. Then again I was a weird kid and only stuck to a very small amount of media back then so my worldview is rather small, beyond the little info I got about Homestuck from fanworks during its golden era.

Of course, a work written by the Huss themself is not without its flaws already, and I already knew about the issues surrounding them so I wasn't necessarily surprised to find the weird two race related comments (what the hell man?) early on and casual throw of the r slur (which, with it being 2009, the R slur hadn't net fully been recognized as a slur so had to remind myself when seeing it, not an excuse at all for Hussie adding it but not surprised).

Genuinely what the hell does anything in the second image mean???? Maybe i'm not uber galaxy brained enough to understand the nonsense lipflapping Hussie is going on about with the McConaughey Wall, I don't even know who the FUCK this guy is.

Still holding out since this is really early on and not even SCRATCHING the surface of this insane piece of media that's got more words than the damn Bible, though with high doubts due to things I've heard and the mere existence of... eugh... Homestuck 2. But I'll still try to read Homestuck in its entirety and hoping at least Hussie will pipe down and not make as many weird ass things like this as the comic progresses.

Anyways I got to where Johnny is blabbing to TT and they are destroying the bathroom, seems this game SBurb affects reality? Interesting yet strange.

Till next time folks, Wizard will blab again about stupid media he missed out on during their golden years!

[astarab1aze]

🩵 lounie tunesssss

muse relationship headcanon game

who curses more?

well, as far as i know, they both cuss a lot, but loux's gotta take the cake on this one. sometimes, every other word out of his mouth, literally, is fuck or some variation of, and he says shit like it's going out of style. like that one song by blink-182? that's ya boi, poppin' off at the mouth.

who is more patient?

i feel like.......loux....loux is more patient than loni. no no, i think about it, and how this man is willing to wait FORTY YEARS to be with her. forty years, turbo. forty. he waits. that is the longest any of my muses have ever waited for anyone or really even anything (hydre doesn't count >:/). he is a man determination, commitment, and sheer fuckin' will--

who does the driving?

loni 100%. loux can't drive and she shouldn't let him....ever.

who is louder? who is quieter?

i think they're about matched. they both can be quiet, both can be loud, and it seems to pan out at about a 50/50 imo. they just shake hands and dance to dirty r&b songs on this point, and i love that for them.

who is more physically affectionate?

this seems to be another both of them thing, but i'd still venture to say loux far surpasses her in this respect. he's always got his hands on her in some way, always kissing on her, holding her, just - touching her constantly, maybe even to the point of it being annoying. that's his wife, she can live with being wanted and desired 24/7 🙄

who is more likely to tease the other?

i think they're equally likely to tease each other, one more...flagrantly sexually than the other, but-- boffum, m8. you know as well as i do how bad they can get too uwu

who is better with time management?

both of them are good about it, empirically. loux has the benefit of fancy magical tools that can sort of bend time and space for him to get anywhere at a moment's notice, so he's maybe just faster, but i'd think it's pretty fair to say they manage their time well. i don't see either one of them being late on anything, literally ever. and in the offchance they are late to something, it's because loux got a little too handsy lbr

who wins the arm wrestling matches?

loni, hands down. not because loux lets her win, not because he's weak, because never. mans is too competitive to just let anyone do anything skjdfhs but genuinely i do think loni beats him out here, cos he's not as muscular as she is and he's a good sportsman. without all his magic, using only his physical strength - loses to his wife, who is stronger than him.

who controls the music in the car ride?

loux and loni share music, so it doesn't matter. i fully headcanon this.

who covers dinner when they order in?

loni would insist, i'm sure of it, and loux would fight her on it. he will absolutely not let her pay for dinner. he is so determined to be a provider and a protector in his own way, he just - will not. he already paid, in fact, with cash because they used his phone to order. i am telling you, turbo. they're just gonna have to fight over this until they're old godly bitties in the sky. not sorry uwu

who is more outgoing? who is more shy?

loux is the most outgoing. he's an idiot, but he's truly a social butterfly, life of the party, fratboy ringleader, class clown type of guy. loni's the shier one, of the two, for sure. i think? that sounds right to me. loux's here to do backflips and steal the show (which includes taking all the heat, too)

who has the more outlandish fashion sense?

loux. i have an entire pinterest board to prove it...! you cannot tell me loni has anything in her closet that could top loux's >:U

who starts the tickle fights? who ends them?

HMMMM loux, then loni. but then also loni, then loux.

who has the darker/more "edgy" sense of humor?

loux, hands down. i don't think i need to elaborate here ksjdfhsd but i do think he'd make a few jokes that'd piss loni off or disgust her.

who is more competitive when it comes to games?

i think it's a toss-up here, although i don't really imagine them playing video games together. maybe some ddr at the local arcade on a date or two? otherwise the 'games' they're playing are probably in the bedroom--

who has the bigger appetite? the bigger sweet tooth?

i'm...admittedly not sure. loux eats and could put away a mountain of food, but i don't think his appetite is really all there. he loves to cook though, so he ends up eating somewhat regularly anyway, but he has a generally low appetite, i think. oh but he loves sweets. loves sweets. and is more than happy to share with loni.

who is more likely to get in a confrontation in public?

i'm calling it 50/50 here because loux'll throw down with anybody over nothing and loni is a tough cookie who don' take no shit. 1+1=2 for me, mhmm.

who hosts the parties/hangouts? who organizes them?

loux doesn't party as much as anyone thinks. he just shows up, sells the goods, does a little, and nopes out. hangouts are different - he is literally up her ass right now begging for a date tomorrow lbr. loux. but also loni does too... loux is just insane about her so naturally--

who is better at cooking? do they ever cook for each other?

loni is not allowed in his kitchen except to sit there and look pretty and taste what he makes. she will find a way to burn water and mans can't have his etoufee fucked up. he loves her, of course, but girl do not even think about filling a pot with water. loux's a perfectionist, unfortunately, when it comes to food and he can be such a brat about it too.

who is more likely to engage in dangerous and/or illegal behavior?

they both are, but loux moreso, i think. i mean, he's got a rap sheet a mile long. :I from public indecency to capital murder and just about everything in between. he loves breaking the law, and killing people, and hustling, and committing fraud, tax evasion, theft, torture, more murder, arson... okay, i shouldn't say he loves it because he doesn't actually, but it is all very fun for him.

who is more likely to notice when something is wrong with the other?

thaaaat really depends. they're both very sensitive to each other in their own ways, be it emotionally or sensorily. like loux would notice right away if something physical was wrong with loni, and he's usually pretty good about the emotional stuff even if he is a little unconventional or A Lot about it. i think loni would be able to tell right away if something was wrong with loux physically, but maybe not emotionally since he locks his shit all the way down and it's usually hard to tell how he's actually feeling without him physically expressing it. um, something like that?

who does the talking in public settings (i.e. to the waiter at a restaurant)?

i feel like they'd take turns. loux getting to be a gentleman sometimes, loni getting to be the proverbial 'daddy' other times. they defend each other, they speech together, they sing together, they yell at people together, literally prove me wrONG TURBO

who is more likely to extend a helping hand & provide emotional support?

uh, emotional support? maybe loni. loux will probably default to physical stuff and small conversation before he approaches the meat. it's just how he is. this could change over time to be more even between the two, though.

who is the bigger prankster? do they get the last laugh or do they suffer for it?

loux, and he gets the last laugh. he also suffers dearly for it. marriage :sparkles: uwu