#source: k drama idk the name of

[incorrect-underrated-groups]

Ren pointing to Sukai: you in the back with the phone and your raised eyebrows, put your phone away..and lower your eyebrows

[nonexistent-introvert]

Confessions

Pairing: Stephen Strange x f!reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Content: Confessions, angst, idk rlly, fluff

A/N: Another one from drafts. I remember this was inspired right after I finished watching the k drama "start-up" so you may spot a few familiar lines from the show

   You changed your breathing, your movements were swift and quick. The trainee panicked, fighting defensively when you swept your leg, knocking him clean off the floor. You let out a smile as you held out a hand for the trainee to take. The man thanked you before quickly leaving for his next training. 

    “Hey!” You wiped the sweat off your forehead as you turned to the source of your name being called. “I told you, she came back just a few days ago and she’s been training. Why would I lie?” Wong’s voice sounded throughout the field. Your eyes drifted to the taller man with blue robes and his signature cloak over his broad shoulders. You felt your heart pace, he was the reason you left Kamar Taj after all.  With panic overwhelming you, you opened a portal, waving to them hysterically as you tried to casually enter the portal and disappear from both their sights 

   It happened a few more times after that. You almost suspected Stephen spent more time around Kamar Taj these days but you dismissed that thought that he was there for you before you could get your hopes up. You had already gone through the pain of that when you had let yourself hope. One time, you were entering the library when you spotted his back and immediately shut the door again when he was supposed to be your training partner but you went to practice different spells instead lastly when he had sat next to you for lunch, you stuffed so much food into your mouth, you couldn’t even talk to him and then scurried off. 

  You let out a sigh, your hand covering your eyes as you lay on the bed. It had been years since that incident, for all you knew, Stephen already forgot about it, the day he had brought you to Christine’s wedding. 

   You remembered feeling out of place. You weren’t even one to dress up and now you were stuck in a stifling outfit with people you didn’t even know. Stephen was by your side, but it was obvious that man had another person in his mind, his eyes followed her, a longing inside him. The whispers about Stephen bringing a fake date, someone that wasn’t even in his league and the pitiful looks that accompanied you were evident no matter where you went. The worst part of it all was the fact that they were right, you definitely weren’t in his league. You hated crowds, you closed your eyes trying to calm yourself down in a corner. You hated how you were trained to listen to every small detail that day, even if this same skill had saved you on multiple occasions. Because of this skill, you heard the conversation between Stephen and Christine. One that sparked you to leave without him.

   “Are you ok? If you wanted to leave you could have told me. I would have left with you.” He started when he had found her in the kitchen of the sanctum in the late night. You drank your water, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “You didn’t need to. You should enjoy it.”You replied. He scoffed a little, “ And enjoy the boring questions about my new occupation?” You forced a smile, then smiled bigger to crinkle your eyes, hiding the glistening in your eyes when his worried look scanned you. “It was just overwhelming. Big crowds and all. I’m fine.” You assured with a shrug. Stephen nodded, “Talk to me next time ok? Don’t just leave me.” You pursed your lips, trying to walk past him when he stood in your way. “You’re crying.” He realised, You looked away from him. “You’re seeing things.” Your voice broke near the end. He let the silence hang in the air while he stood in your way, waiting for you to open up. 

   “I can’t Stephen. I can’t talk to you about this.” 

  “You can.” He insisted 

   You met his eyes. “We can’t be friends anymore Stephen.” Stephen stumbled over his words, shock overcoming him at your sudden words. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry-” He immediately apologised, trying to find out the problem. You shook your head, “I can’t see you as a friend anymore Stephen. I have feelings for you, for a long time. I thought it would go away but it didn’t. I’m sorry- “ 

  “I-” Stephen started. You inhaled a shaky breath, cutting Stephen off. 

  “You only had eyes for Christine all this time, but I still wanted to stay by your side even just as a friend. Because I thought that maybe you’d look at me the same way one day. That you might notice how much I like you and start seeing me for who I am. I really thought that and I’m now realising foolish I was.” 

  Stephen was at a loss. He knew there was nothing he could do to help his best friend. So he had to just let her go, let her leave. The last time he saw her was when she smiled at him with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and announced to Wong and him that she was leaving to ‘do what she always wanted to’

    You were deep in your thoughts. Your eyebrows furrowed as you buried your nose in a book. 

   “Shit, Sorry.” You apologised when you bumped into someone just as you were leaving the library. However your nose remained buried in the book as you tried to find the text that provided you with the information needed. The man you bumped into cleared his throat and that’s when the scent radiating off him registered in your mind. 

   You scrunched your face, closing your eyes while you cursed internally at yourself . Thinking of ways to be able to brush him off without coming off as weird. 

    Instead of just letting her past, Stephen leaned forward which caused you to back into the library again. Upon entering the library, he closed the door behind him and you silently contemplated climbing out the window which was 3 levels above ground. Maybe breaking a few bones was better than having an awkward conversation with Stephen. You doubt neither you or Stephen were good at talking about these type of things anyways.

   He stood before you, his hands planted at his hips. 

  “You’re avoiding me.”

   You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and snap back at him with a “no shit Sherlock.” All kinds of emotions whirled past you and maybe you stayed silent for abit too long. You awkwardly shifted your hands around, not knowing where to put your hands. 

    “I- it’s been years you don’t need to give me an answer. I sort of know- I mean- it’s okay I don’t need your answer-“ You rambled on, the last time you had a conversation with him was before you left.. Stephen stood closer to you, scoffing slightly, “you’re avoiding me because you’re scared of my reaction to your confession?” You winced, that proved the fact that he still remembered. “I mean it was pretty memorable although I do have photographic memory so most things are-“ he stopped when he saw the smile tugging at her lips. “Show off” You muttered, his grin grew wider at the familiar nickname. 

   “Why do you not want my honest answer?.” 

   You flinched slightly, “because I know what you’ll say.” 

   “What would I say?” He questioned. 

   You swallowed, “Like I said that day Stephen, you have no space in your heart for me.” You laughed coldly, tears welling in her eyes. “I always thought I could act cool in these situations. Laugh it off with a joke and tell you that I’m fine with your decision but it turns out I’m just another lovesick loser after all and I’m not okay. But if I felt okay now, that would mean I didn’t actually like you that much.” Your lips quivered, you bit on your lips but a sob soon escaped you nevertheless.. Claspong your hand over your mouth you turned around away from him. 

     “I just thought it wouldn’t hurt so much. But it hurts- it hurts so much even after these years.” You clutched your chest where your heart is. The voices inside you screaming at the pain. Stephen stood rooted to the spot, his heart breaking for you, feeling his own tears when he realised that he was the reason for her pain. He wiped his glassy eyes and with a determined stride, he pulled her into his arms. 

   “I’m sorry it took me so long to give you a response.but I want to correct you.”he pulled away from you, placing a palm on your cheek while keeping his other hand on your back. “You’re Right, i didnt have space to love you in my heart. But now, my heart is filled with you and you only. I love you and I’m sorry it took losing you for me to realise how my love for you runs deep in my veins.” You glanced up at him, pulling away fully. Chuckling, “This is what I always wanted to hear Stephen.” He grinned at her but he could hear the ‘but’ coming. 

   “But I-I’m a mess. I can’t give you an answer now. I want to do this, with a smile on my face.”

   “I’ll wait for your answer, no matter how long you take because my heart will always be yours.” Stephen replied in a beat, You laughed. “You sound like a fictional romance character.” “You do like those don’t you?” He raised his eyebrows.you grinned, “ a man after my own heart.” 

   “For you? Always.” 

[rosesnrises]

[SPOILER] JO1 Drama “Short Program” Story

For those who dont have access / dont have time to read the manga/ dont mind spoiler!

Based on tweet by @/bunnykaichan (link at source). OP based it on the picture and seems to write it before the teaser out. But i think its more or less right! (i cant read the writing at the teaser and cross only checked with several twt so it might be true)

I’m currently reading it still and not finished yet. So I will update it as i go!

I have currently reading Sho, Ren, Ruki, Takumi, and Syoya!

🌺 At the intersection I think this is the most tragic one so far. Sho always try to meet his crush on this intersection at this certain time. One day, Sho’s friend B, asked Sho to go to B’s date with B’s girlfriend C. When B is away, C proceed to confess that she used to have crush on Sho, and started acting lovey dovey. RIGHT WHEN SHO’S CRUSH ENTER THE PREMISES. After that, Sho never meet his crush anymore. Sho thinks its because she thinks Sho already has girlfriend. Story ended with Sho crossing the intersection and someone calling his name, telling him that the traffic lamp has changed, alluding his incoming dead. 🦊 The current state of affairs This is kind of standard. Ren goes to his middle school reunion, and meet his best friend D, and D’s ex girlfriend E. He then proceed to find out that D and E has never dated, and that E actually had crush on Ren. The story end with Ren apparently already has a girlfriend. 👑 Short Program This story is about.... stalker.... but at least the comic doesnt romantize it. Lets hope so does the drama. So Ruki is having a date with his crush, where they reminisce how they got to know each other. The crush is suspicious of Ruki cause he knows so much about her even though they never met. And also how she never see Ruki despite apparently living across each other. Ruki proceed to be so creepily knows everything about the girl. In the end, he revealed to be stalking the girl all along, and the girl left her apartment room with a message saying “goodbye” 🌱 Stopover Ughh.... yeah this is another cheeky story.  Basically Junki throw all his money for a trip to hokaido, just to catch up to his crush H. Instead, he lost his bag, wallet, and met with his other classmate I instead. Trying to get his money back, I give Junki’s chance to work on her restaurant. Failed to seek his crush, Junki went home, then found out the police had found his bag. I apparently knew of this but purposely didnt tell Junki so she can hang out with him. Junki then met his classmate on his way home. In which Junki find out that his crush H, has actually been faking acting nice and use I to do her works, so it seems that H is the lovely one. And all along the girl that been helping Junki behind the screen is H. 🦒 where the wind blows

UHHH KEIGO’S STORY IS THE MOST CONFUSING FOR ME AS IN I DONT SEE ANY OF THE TEASER SCENE THAT RESEMBLE THE COMIC. IDK if im reading the wrong one or do they change/add some stuffs BUT. BASICALLY. IN THE COMIC. The story is about three best friends who currently gather together for winter holiday at Keigo’s place. Somehow Keigo’s thought the girl, J, has crush with the other boy, K. K then revealed to already have girlfriend, K even brought K’s girfriend to Keigo’s place. In which K’s girlfriend accidentally revealed that J is actually have crush on J. So Keigo run after J and then the story end.

🍓 Plus 1 This is the cheekiest story so far. So the girl F, broke her stereo. She then found out the repairman is her classmate, Takumi. However, a boy G, have crush on F. G then tried to force F into kissing him, but F rejected. Takumi found out and punched G. Takumi also found out that apparently F have crush on him, from Takumi picture he found while fixing the radio. Takumi then always give free service for F with kiss as payment 🐰 What's going on!? This. Is. The. Weirdest. Story. Just as the title say maybe. And probably match with Syoya. Anyway, Syoya goes to some kind of gathering where he met random people. Those people play faking identity? One of them said they are an alien. Syoya then meet a girl who claimed to be both fortune teller and manga writer. Apparently Syoya supposed to meet and know this girl already? And then the guy is actually an alien........ 🍮 Springcall

This is my favorite story so far. Shosei is a genius scriptwriter for theater drama, but another guy, L, try to hijack that highlight from him. L even push Shosei to write a romance story between him and Shosei’s crush, M. In the story its also implied that most people kind of look down on Shosei. Shose then get mad in the end and told everyone to stop looking down on him basically. Proofed that he is very good at martial art. And also confessed his love to his crush. His script also get choosen for the theater act. ✈️ Before the spring - wakaba marking

First of all, we’re robbed of long hair Sukai. Second, the first story is okay but the second one kindaaaa eehhh? Idk maybe it just me. Anyway. The first part is telling the story based on the female POV. She’s the daughter of famous detective, which her father give her task to follow a guy. The guy though looks super normal aside of several weird habit that isnt surprising for hikikomori looking guy. She then find out that the guy, Sukai, is apparently a bodyguard hired by her dad, for there are kidnapper going after her. The second story is the origin story on how Sukai met the girl. He was tasked by the girl’s dad to follow her no matter what, because she seems to be engaging on suspicious activity. IDK man, maybe let your daughter do whatever she wants? Although yeah, for a bit it seems that she’s involved in some kind of adultery with a married man. But Sukai then found out that she’s just working for a comic writer.  👽 Spring Passes

This is also one of my favorite story. But with the so many baseball reference i dont understand, i kinda skim reading it. so sorry if i missed some detail. But basically Shion is watching a baseball competition where he met some old friend, included his past bestfriend crush. It was revealed that his bestfriend dead because of motorcycle accident where Shion is riding the bestfriend home. Ironically the best friend wear helmet and Shion didnt. But Shion was thrown off the road while his friend to the middle of the road, and he get hit by truck. On the last breath of Shion’s bestfriend, Shion read the reply letter the bestfriend got from his crush. Only to find out the girl like Shion instead. So Shion fake the letter content. Very very sad imo and i really cant wait for this one. 🐶Memory off I know this make most of Mame’s fans worry but ehh.... idk. The story is pretty??? maybe but actually decent. Basically a girl suddenly appear with a gun in front of Mame’s door. Claiming she has forget her memory. Moreover she revealed to had bring other dangerous weapons. Although she said she didn’t know why she has the weapon. She then proceed to push Mame to let her stay at his house. Later, Mame heard news of killer appear near hhis place. The gun described as the same as the one the girl’s had. Instead of being scared, Mame decide to protect the girl instead and make her stay one more day. The girl then knocked herself and started to seem regaining memory, right when the police come. Mame the found out it’s all misunderstanding. The killer has been caught and dropped the gun near Mame’s house, when the girl found it. 

------

after thought

So far my most favorite stories are Sho’s, Shosei’s, and Shion’s. I can’t wait on how they will play it. Shosei acting seems to be very promising! I also wonder how they will keep Sho’s story as he is hinted to going to his death. Aside of that, Takumi’s acting also seems promising and I’m also looking forward. 

Aside of those, most of the story on the comic are good. I haven’t read them all, but if you have access to it, please do! My other favorite outside of those story for JO1 are “Purple”, “The Way Home”, and “Angel Hammer”. Aside of romance, there’s also friendship story in the comic! I kinda wish they also adapt that! Most especially “Angel Hammer”. Nevertheless, its a good reading and I’m looking forward for the drama!

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 12th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware

Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7 | Ep. 8 | Ep. 9 | Ep. 10 | Ep. 11

I am the definition of Fear.jpg rn please help

MTR are so cute, just celebrating their win. Look at how happy they are!

... Oh well thats new. I like how Ichijauku has a tiny bit more agency in throwing out ideas (it really shows how close her and otome trust each other) but it also completely retcons a part of hypmic lore that was established with the Drama tracks. If you’ve heard “” then you know what I’m talking about

SMILING DOPPO HOLY SHIT DOPPO

ahaha doppo i love you so much youre so adorable you deserve to be happy

MTR as a family is just soo good. Both as familial or 

Hmm.... yes Samatoki has the right to be angry but that flattens him to a good for nothing thinks first asks questions later type of thug which is absolutely not what his character is. Especially with how the anime portrays him, it seems like there's only one emotion that he feels at any moment and that is anger. Which, fair he is an angry boy, but thats just one facet of his character. He’s also logical and not that sore of a loser, seeing that he still has room to grow (if you want an anime example, refer to the previous episode where he genuinely wonders what he could have done to treat Nemu better)

I think my biggest gripe with the adaptation is the flattening of all the characters TBH. I only really see it in Samatoki since I understand his character the most but I also see hints of it with Rio, Hifumi, and Gentaro. Most of the characters are just flattened into 2D tropes and made to act those tropes out. Which, y’know is the basis of each character but the series has built upon each character so well that its kinda jarring seeing them all so flat

I’m not sayin that I hate what the Anime has done with MTC but I hate what the anime has done with MTC

I expected a “Brocon” “Siscon” fight not this. What the fuck

☆ミ＋。゜H A C K I N G ゜。＋ミ☆

ahaha Ichiro you’re too trusting and pure for your own good

Okay why does all the animation budget go to making Samatoki look hot as fuck?

Ahaha they really do get along like cats and dogs. Jyuto being the voice of reason is kinda weird tho but oh well I can live with it

Tom saying “hai warat~e!” is so cute wtf?????? Lemme pet your head please

GENTARO PICKING UP HIS HAKAMA TO RUN IS ADOARBLE HELP ME

Im getting second hand embarrassment from Ramuda lmao

Slightly suspicious about how these group of reporters know the underground layout of Chuuoku so well

Oh well see I was right to be suspicious

That Unit name is really funny considering the whole Galatic Federation thing ahahaha

Oh that english! that was super clean and enunciated really well

Good intentions, bad execution. His reasoning is a bit flawed but its at least sound

hmmm usually I’d be happy about Doppo giving Hifumi his jacket but in this context not so much. See, Doppo gave it to Hifumi mostly because they had to fight, not because there were woman (which let me remind you Hifumi is deathly afraid of and the jacket acts as a wall between him and his gynophobia)

...... uh Interesting choices of microphones for Secret Aliens. Tom’s is a recording studio mic which makes some??? but not much sense. like Tom is a street photographer, not a radio host. Iris’s mic is.... I’m sorry what is that? Some sort of keyboard and.... something. idk what it is on her finger. And T. Rex just ripped out a purple dinosaur spine, stuck a mic onto the neck and called it a day. Nice

At least their speakers are somewhat better. Iris has Iris plants which. hilarious, but also very modern looking and sleek fitting of her more tech savvy nature as a hacker Theres also phone cameras which makes sense but the butterfly imagery which is present .... Fear.jpg. Rex again just went with a T. Rex Speaker which. Thank you rex for being very predictable, we love you so much. That soundwave looks like DNA too which is cool as hell. Tom.... Idk man Tom are you okay? What exactly is your speaker? are they those aperture umbrella things that photographers use? Im so confused, photographers in the fandom please help

YOOOOOOOOO THAT RAP THOUGH IRIS SOUNDS SO PRETTY?!?!?!? Can she please sing me to sleep? its so smooth and rolling. If I had to describe it, I would say that its the type of voice that I would hope would sing the ballads that I compose, the voice of a mother who still holds on to something after loosing everything she has fought for. 

Too bad Iris doesn’t get a verse to Rap in but holy shit what? Secret Aliens just might become one of my fave divisions based off song alone

Ah theres the cancellers. Thats fun, nice to see that there isn’t an adaptation induced plot hole in this One instance. Lets see if they can patch up the other plot holes created because the anime and source material went into different places

Dice, bad. no cheating. Bad dice

Ahaha there the flash bomb. That high pitch wailing was awful though. please never do that again

Hah, typical Ichijaku. We love it

Oh look at them. Working together. How cute. I really like Rio and Saburo interactions mostly because theres so much potential

Oh noooo i worry for FP

That growl from Ichijaku though. That did things to my heart oh my god

Aww I do like that enthusiasm from Ramuda. I do hope that things turn out at least somewhat okay for him. He’ll probably suffer 

Wait why is Saburo’s left eye purple? Is it the lighting or something else? I hope its just the lighting bc if anything happens to Saburo i will be very very sad (I rewatched the episode and Saburo’s eye is blue all the way up till he gets hit by Secret Alien’s attack. Even in a brightly lit area, it looks purple... i hope it isn’t forshadowing but then again Saburo’s eye has always been a darker shade of blue so it could just be the yellowish lighting since Ichiro’s red eye looks fuchsia)

Ichijaku with an angry face is kinda hot ahaha. Her deep rolling voice of anger just. Ugh very very good. Major props to her VA for pulling it off

IM FUCKING SORRY WHAT

YOU CAN”T LEAVE US ON THAT CLIFF HANGER?!

WHAT THE FUCK

IM GOING TO GO INSANE

THAT WASN’T EVEN SATISFYING?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK

KING RECORDS E X P L A I N

I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION

oh there’s a 13th ep

well thank fuck for a 13th ep bc if they ended the season like that i think id actually cry lol

Ugh so I guess that next week will be the last episode. I was so prepared for today to be the last episode but its kinda surprising that they have 13, slightly different from the normal season

[avianurges]

For the ask meme- yes. The whole fucking alphabet. Any fandom of your choice for any of them -kipp

LMAO THE WHOLE THING? THIS SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED-

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

Honestly besides the Constant love for Mell and Kai, Ash and Eiji from banana fish, and Reki and Langa and Joe and Cherry from sk8 right now. Also i like Lawlight from specifically the 2015 death note tv drama. OH. AND ALSO. SEKI AND SHIMIZU FROM OYASUMI PUNPUN I LOVE THEM

(Side note ngl Detective Roberts and His Ex-Wife are v nice together i like them)

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Ellspen from Self Aware. LIKE LISTEN. I KNOW I WRITE THE THING. BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT UNTIL READERS STARTED SHIPPING IT

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh idk I never thought about it. Ig i’m not really a fan of Aizawa/All Might? that’s the first ship to come to mind. oh and also Hawks/Endeavor. not my cup o tea, never will be

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Any ship with Tanaka from haikyuu that Isnt him and kiyoko. like art of him and enoshita or him and noya are Cute, but i just dont ship it

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

Does writing “Regenerate, Fate” count

I also have Goose Yagami meme and the yelling cat meme but it’s death note

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

BNHA fandom has been since... november 2017ish

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

.........................................................................Klance.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

(ngl i dunno what this Means so sorry if my answer doesn’t make sense but-) I really like anime and animation, but also i really like comics and manga, more so now that im Making a comic

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think tumblr’s ever stopped making me like a fandom, but just like. stop going in tumblr’s tag for it. for example 15ish year old me was NOT ready to see the things in the undertale tag that i did. oh god the horrors.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

i dont think tumblrs ever led me to starting a show/getting into a fandom, but pinterest has. most of my fandoms have been through seeing random things on pinterest ngl

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

Vigilantedekus is The Best and I Love Them

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Matsuda from death note might’ve been played as the “Funny because he keeps fuckin up” kinda chara, but i do like that he was the one to shoot light and that he had that kind of outburst about light’s dad. BUT ALSO MATSUDA’S THEORY IN THE END OF THE MANGA? RIGHTS.

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

i dont have anything specific in mind, but all fandoms have DOPE artists

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

head empty no thoughts

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Right now “The mind electric” reminds me of Jamie from SA, “Butterfly’s Repose” reminds me of Mell And Kai

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

uh uh uh uh Self Aware but without Aviancorp. That’s the only difference. The au is just what kind of ripple effect it would have on everyone and their lives

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

nothing’s coming to mind

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Sobs. Seki and Shimizu from Goodnight Punpun. I only say them for this because theres So Little People who know them

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Athen (my oc, Choosing(02)) wants to see hatsune miku because he uses a voicebank to speak and “! she sounds like me!” 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

I’m going to do these with my OCs instead. because while im the author, they’re headcanons because most of them i cant Really make canon: 

Athen has a mothman pajama set. He and adam have matching “Humanfucker”/”Robofucker” shirts

athen Has seriously wondered if adam would leave him for mothman

athen gets a pet roomba named Hal

Jamie would be a good parent

Sam (one of the dead kids from Subject 402/SA-) would’ve been a soccer player if she lived

Letho (the Other dead kid) would’ve been an art student

if jordan(Kai) had a Normal Life and WASNT a human experiment, he wouldnt be very accomplished in school despite being a genius, he’d be kinda a delinquent and getting in trouble a lot

If mell had a younger sibling, people would probably think HE’S the youngest one. they would not believe he were older if they were close in age

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Mob from Mob psycho

L and Light are tied

Aizawa and Shinsou and Deku are top faves ig

ash and eiji from banana fish. love them. AND SHORTER> LOVE HIM

i like punpun as a character but if i had the chance i would prolly throw hands

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Mell and Kai - Self Aware

Shindeku OR tododeku - bnha

(Letho and (Redacted)) - Self Aware (but like. the au if letho Lived)

Ash and Eiji - Banana Fish

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

I think we all know my fave ships from this post so far. no need to do this question lmao

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

MOB. WOULD KILL FOR HIM BUT I KNOW HE WOULD BE :( AT ME FOR IT

ngl there aren’t many Precious Babies. like I’d say Hinata is a precious baby but haikyuu ends when he’s like fuckin 30 so what counts as a precious baby hmmm

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

my dash gets so much TMA

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

this post is long enough,,,

[foster-fan-club]

So I have been talking with @sophies-earbuds for awhile about sokeefe vs sophitz and I’ve wrote a little about it before, but now I really want to analyze each character in this love triangle madness->starting with Fitz:

[before I take off into the madness I would like to add a disclaimer: this is not meant to prove one ship “superior”, but at some points it will lean in favor of one or the other or both->it’s just meant to add some character analysis to the whole thing (message me if you ever want to talk more about these ships)]

Fitzroy Avery Vacker:

Fitz starts off as being an easily lovable and very cute character. Sophie falls for him, we all fall for him, and soon enough we are on the edge of our seat to see if Sophitz will happen. But just as we start saying he is our favorite, Shannon gives us a look into a trait that will soon define his character in a whole other way.

Alden’s mind breaks.

Shortly afterwards Fitz is left angry, broken, and feeling enormous loads of guilt-wishing that he could’ve been there for his father. Fitz starts to unload his frustrations onto Sophie and that is the first time Sophitz is truly questioned (besides the moment we learn how handsome Keefe is).

His anger issues are not resolved and he never truly finds closure or comes to terms with it. Instead this anger boils over into Alvar’s betrayal, Keefe’s betrayal, almost killing Alvar *twice*, the whole unmatchable drama, and more.

People argue that Shannon ruined Fitz to make Sokeefe happen. But in my opinion, she didn’t ruin him, instead she has now set him up for self growth and redemption.

By the end of Legacy, Fitz is finally adjusting to the changes in his life, he’s slowly realizing that Alvar is beyond his control, and he is working towards finding closure for his friends.

I feel like Sokeefe will eventually happen and that will present another obstacle for Fitz to endure. But Fitz has already hit his lowest point in Legacy, in my opinion. So now he is going to endure the greatest change. I feel like Fitz and Sophie both have a lot of personal growth they still need to go through apart, before they can even try to start dating again. Part of Sophie’s growth will most likely fall along the lines with Keefe’s recovery/new ability and their newish relationship. Fitz needs to refind himself and spend some more time with his family to help him heal. He will obviously depend on Sophie throughout this time and vice versa, but I don’t expect it to be in a relationship way.

Fitz Vacker is not a villain, even though some people paint him out to be. He is just as confused and as hurt and as betrayed as Keefe. He just deals with it in a not so great way. But Keefe also dealt with his guilt in a not so great way in the beginning too (I mean trying to play double agent against the Neverseen is not the smartest). Fitz and Keefe share many characteristics in common and they both have the potential to essentially make each other’s mistakes. But they don’t, instead they learn from them. They learn together, as best friends (wow I’m tearing up bc of Feefe/Kitz [idk their ship name]).

My prediction for Fitz is that he will start to branch off from the group and find his own way. Only once he has grown as a person, will he have a chance at winning back Sophie’s heart. If he does succeed with it all, Sophitz will end with a lot more value than it had in Flashback and Legacy.

So that was my overall *breif* analysis, but if you want more, just keep reading!

The change in Fitz was explained indirectly and perhaps some people missed it. Guilt is a major theme in the kotlc series and plays a big role in each character’s life. It is said multiple times after Alvar’s betrayal how getting angry is a way Fitz’s guilt is expressed. Just like how Alden’s guilt caused him to lean a little harder on his classic “no need to worry” standby. Brant’s guilt caused him to slowly go insane. The guilt Sophie felt for her human parents, eventually led her to a state of numbness. Keefe’s guilt causes him to be reckless. Grady and Edaline’s guilt caused them to shut out the world after Jolie’s death. Eventually each character finds a way to deal with their guilt. Alden eventually admitted that he was wrong to perform the memory break and was provided closure when Della and him helped Wylie and Prentice recover. Grady and Edaline adopted Sophie as a way to fill the emptiness in their home. Even Brant found closure by facing Grady and Sophie (although by then he was already too lost). Keefe is slowly finding closure by coming to terms with his dad, accepting that he isn’t responsible for his mom, and no longer trying to be the hero. He isn’t fully there yet, but Sophie is helping him get there. (This is very important for why sokeefe is such a strong ship but I already said a lot on that earlier) Fitz has never truly found closure and I think that is why he was so upset that Sophie and Keefe let Alvar go. Fitz feels responsible for being played by the Neverseen under his own roof (similar to Keefe). Fitz feels responsible for the shame he brought on his family’s *now questionable* reputation. [That is probably another reason why he wasn’t too happy about the whole unmatchable thing- not because he didn’t love Sophie but because he couldn’t bear hurting his family any more]

His direct family doesn’t blame him, but other members of the Vackers still look down on him. But most importantly, Fitz blames himself. He really wanted to be able to just finish Alvar, not because he is some dark, killing machine- but because he sees it as the only way to ensure Alvar doesn’t hurt the people he loves anymore. To me this is actually a sweeter side of Fitz that is often overlooked as just a creepy trait. Fitz would risk his own well being, he would risk breaking his mind, he would risk living with the burden of killing his brother- just because he believes he can protect his family, his friends, and Sophie. Now as creepy and weird of a justification that is- it is still a valid reason why Fitz would turn into who he is now so quickly. To me Fitz still has the same intentions in mind, but he is so guilt ridden and traumatized that he has gone to extremes.

When you hear him blaming Sophie for bad things that happen to him, it ends up actually being Fitz blaming himself. But Fitz doesn’t have the humility to admit that yet. I used to watch this tv series as a kid that I still love now that had a character who was very guilt ridden. The character was told that to become who he really is he must let go of his feelings of guilt and shame. The character responds *very hotheadedly similar to Fitz* “I’m not guilty or shameful- I am as proud as ever!” He is then told that pride is not the opposite of shame but it’s source. That has stuck with me through reading kotlc because it pretty much describes Fitz.

Fitz is PROUD to be a Vacker, he is PROUD to be a telepath, even in the beginning of the first book he gets defensive when Sophie makes fun of Foxfire because he is PROUD to be a Foxfire prodigy. All this pride can also result in tons of shame and guilt. He feels that he can not make others proud, he can not truly earn his titles, without leaving around loose ends that could tarnish his reputation. When you think about it, Fitz is as proud as ever. He just took elite level tests and will find out soon if he will get in. He figured out how to transmit long distances to Silveny. Sophie and him have strengthened their cognate connection after getting past their feelings. He found the moonlark. He is able to get past Sophie’s blocking. He has accomplished so much, but still feels guilt. His pride causes him guilt and shame, because when something that is out of his control happens- he does not have the humility to admit it. Instead he wants to hunt down Alvar, he wants to be angry for not being there when Alden’s mind breaks, he gets mad at Biana when she gets her scars from Vespera because he wishes he could’ve taken the hits for her. He really does try to be Wonderboy and sometimes he even shocks me with how skilled and smart he really is. But he is still learning how to admit mistakes and move on. This has been his characters biggest guilt related flaw throughout the entire series, it is nothing new. Each character has their own flaws that develop throughout the series.

When Fitz apologizes to Sophie at the end of Legacy, that is when I see his first true act of humility. He apologizes to her before, but this time it just felt so much more genuine because he finally is starting to realize what his actions are doing to those who love him. This is new self growth is where I see Fitz’s character heading. The end of Legacy has given him a chance for a sort of redemption arc. He was never a bad character or evil, he just needs to grow to be his true self. Fitz needs to let go of his past grudges to be able to move forward. He needs to admit that Alvar is out of his control and that he might not be able to be the hero (similar to Keefe again). I feel like when he says he is no longer looking to kill Alvar and hunt him down, but instead is looking for information about his best friend- that really made a difference to me. He is starting to move past it and work towards the greater good. Maybe post-redemption Fitz will have another chance with Sophie. But for now we are all rooting for sokeefe to have a standing chance.

I am so sorry that this is so much to read, but I was going to post all of this eventually so I decided, why not just spam everyone at once??

Soon I will be posting analysis for both Keefe an Sophie, but it will probably *hopefully* be a lot shorter because there is already a ton of great posts about their characters and I don’t want to be too redundant. My asks are always open if you ever want to send in your own opinions/feedback and/or other characters and plots you want to see more of on here!

[writing-in-mermish]

The Romances of Journey to the West

I have not read Journey to the West.

I know the basics of the story and from what I am aware it isn’t really romantic. At all. Sure it’s got some side plots where romance might be an element, but not in the main plot.

So why are there so many stories based off of it that one of the main focuses is Romance???

I do not know the answer to that question, and wont be trying to answer it (sorry????). Instead, I’m going to talk about the media I’ve consumed based of off Journey to the West and their romances. Enjoy!

I thought it might be fun to do them all in order of when I consumed them (especially because I plan to add to this when I realize something new is also a JttW remix), but I don’t actually remember what order I started them in so we’re just going with obviousness. Starting with the most “Well, yeah.” and ending with the most “wait what?”.

first...

The New Legends of Monkey

I actually never finished this one (how many times can I say that in this post, ha ha ha....), and it’s probably the one I’m least likely to finish (but I’ve got a compilationist in me so we’ll see).

It’s basically a straight forward retelling from what I watched, the main difference that I could see being Tripitaka’s characterization and gender. They made him a girl which felt like an excuse to add a romance between the monk and the Monkey King, though it only ever hinted at things as far as I got, so maybe it never happened (the tags on this gif suggest otherwise though). Tell me in the comments if you watched it I guess.

The acting wasn’t great and I dropped it pretty soon in, so I don’t have much else to say. They also made Sandy a girl, so maybe they were just trying to make it more diverse or something. IDK.

The Epic crush of Genie Lo

This book was freaking amazing and I totally recommend it (and the sequel, it’s a dualogy so both books are out, no need to wait!). It’s the only one I’ve finished at the time of making this post.

It’s kinda the outlier because instead of a romance between Tripitaka and the Monkey King it’s a romance between the Monkey King and Genie Lo (who I won’t explain her character because of spoilers). It’s super fun and interesting.

It’s set in modern day after all the events of JttW took place, which also makes it different from all the rest, and definitely not a retelling. It uses all the same characters instead of just the character dynamics and plot.

They could have nixed the romance because it’s not the main thing but it’s really enjoyable so I ain’t mad (but it’s kinda more important in book 2). Also a different take than all the others so, props to the Author.

A Korean Odyssey

This is the only K-Drama in the mix and I had to watch a few episodes to realize what it was. I’m nearly done with this one (started it in October and was zooming through but have slowed down due to NaNo). Another one I’d recommend (in fact, all the rest of them I probably recommend, tNLoM is the outlier here).

Out of the ones that are more obvious and use the same names, this one is the most different since it’s Korean instead of Chinese. Instead of Tripitaka they just use Samjang, and they use the Monkey’s title, The Great Sage Equal to Heaven, a lot more.

This one is also modern, but with the lore that they’ve dropped, is not set after the JttW but is the JttW, without all the traveling though. Also, instead of moving scrolls from point A to point B for The Merciful Goddess Guanyin (who hasn’t seemed to show up at all), they’ve been shoved together by The Devil King (who wasn’t as big of a player in JttW from what I know, but is one of the main characters in this). It’s very funny and emotional, like most K-dramas I’ve watched.

the romance is integral to the plot because instead of being trapped with a circlet that gives him headaches, The Monkey has a bracelet that makes him fall for Samjang and hurts his heart when she’s in danger. This causes much shenanigans which range from annoying to funny to heartbreaking. Good stuff.

Inuyasha

Into the Shojo! You may have heard that this one is Journey to the West-esque (If you run in those kinds of circles) and it’s definitely the most obvious of the ones I’ve encountered. I’ve only watched the anime (still working on it), so if the manga’s different, I didn’t know.

It’s got the five man band, the non magical Trip. character who sets free the Monkey character and the circlet analogue (aka “sit boy!”). Also, we’ve got an actual journey and a magical item that they need to protect and get to a specific place.

It’s both modern and set in the past (portal fantasy!) which is fun. Especially since her family gets to know, and she goes back for school every once in a while.

The romances in this are also semi integral to the plot (it’s shojo, what did you expect), and it’s quite enjoyable. It’s got comedy, action, drama, and cute romance. (Also, it’s randomly getting a squeal after a decade I think.)

Kamisama Kiss

I didn’t realize that this was JttW until after starting the manga, which I picked up after I finished the anime because it ended on a cliff hanger (I have some thoughts about that phenomenon too, but that’s for different and much shorter post). I really liked the anime and am making my sibling read the manga with me now. (they just corrected me and said I offered and they said yes, but saying I made them is funnier so whatever.)

Instead of being a cool monk or having the reincarnated soul of someone special, our Trip. for this one is just a nice girl, down on her luck who is given the divinity of a deadbeat kami who she saved from a tree. And instead of a magical item to bond her with the Monkey character (who is a fox spirit) they are sealed with just a kiss. (Hence the title)

The romance is semi integral, but oddly enough, I’d say less than in Inuyasha. Sure it weighs on their minds a lot, but the main plot is about Nanami trying to be a good kami and take care of her shrine, not her perspective love interests.

Fun show (and manga). Very goofy, cool world building, compelling characters, and good drama when it showed up.

and finally...

Yona of the Dawn

this one might be more believable than the last one, but I realized it later and feel it’s got slightly less similarities with the original source material. Another one that I watched all the anime and now have started reading the manga with my sibling due to the cliff hanger. (I’ve noticed more differences between anime and manga in YotD than KSK, not important, but interesting to me).

The monk is a princess in this one, and her and five man band are mostly reincarnations of dragons, which is why they join her party, to protect her like their counterparts did. They’re all compelled by ancient blood. Strangely, the character I’d ascribe to Monkey king is not a dragon and is only compelled by loyalty (and love).

It’s got the epicness, historical-ish setting, and the journey, but instead of getting a MacGuffin to it’s destination, they’re escaping death and trying to restore a kingdom.

Romance is very complicated in this one. Very compelling and I’d say on the more integral side. Affection and it’s many forms are explored along the journey. There are many dynamics and they all have their own complications. It’s good.

(also, I hope to cosplay Yona some day)

So... yeah. That’s it. If you got all the way through this, thanks.

[best-enemies]

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

[vespertineflora]

F-J k thx

roffflllllll k

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

That’s a good question. i probably engaged with stucky content for the longest, i guess??? but idk, length of time is hard to say bc time is fake

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

my FIRST TRUE otp was TENDERSHIPPING, aka yu-gi-oh’s yami bakura/bakura. i feel like this probably says something about me as a person! but let’s not talk about it.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

This is a weird question. I like a little bit of all the things.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

no, it’s usually the THING itself that makes me stop liking it. I’m pretty good at tailoring my content on tumblr, so while i heard tales of fandom drama, i rarely actually see any of it or worry about it rofl.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

supernatural rofllllll. after seeing destiel art and gifs on my dash for weeks, and during the season 8 mid-season hiatus, i had like a week long fever and binged the entire show

[koganeirou]

Ikemen Revolution - Sirius’s Route

aka me graduating from being a wannabe livebloggering and becoming a wannabe otome reviewer HAHA.

I have a bunch of left over screenshots from Sirius’s route that I never posted so I decided to compile them all into one post + add in my own awful commentary/review. It’s mostly going to be the latter. So yeah enjoy experiencing Sirius’s route filtered through my terribad commentary and me dragging the poor man more than he deserves.

Honestly Sirius’s route is a blur to me at this point. The one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb that I didn’t like was Alice pinning over how ~cool~ and ~mature~ Sirius is while Sirius kept beating around the bushes about his feelings smh. What was even more annoying is that for the first half of the route it’s just Alice trying to help out with the war and Sirius just giving her menial tasks all day to keep Alice busy and avoid her pestering (╬ಠ益ಠ). 

Seth is a real bro in this route and actually gives some GOOD ASS ADVICE, TOO BAD NOBODY MAINLY SIRIUS TAKES HIM SERIOUSLY.

Gee I’m trying to romance you; how utterly elated it makes me to know that I remind you of your siblings. 

He fucking KISSES HER ON THE FOREHEAD and is all like “it’s just friendly affection!” BITCH WHAT PART OF THAT IS FRIENDLY AFFECTION?

The funniest thing is is that while this disastrous k-drama high school romance is going on as the supposed main focus, THE FLAMES OF WAR ARE RAGING ON IN THE BACKGROUND. Out of the routes I’ve played so far this route is the only route where the armies actually go in an all out war which I thought was pretty cool.

Okay this is less of a war between Red vs Black and more like Edgar vs Black because Lancelot is out of commission while Kyle is pulling his hair out like an old nanny tending to him and idk what the hell the rest of the Red Army dudes are doing. I am not exaggerating when I say that Edgar is the actual backbone of this army. It’s hard to really take this war seriously considering how no one is dying, only “injured” and these battles seem to have minuscule impacts or consequences and the fact that Sirius and Alice have time to be frolicking off with their less than smooth romance.

As usual Seth is the bro of the war too as he runs around spreading underground rumors. Tbh idk how the hell Seth managed to pose as a “reliable source” but I can just imagine him being like V and just knocking some poor Red Army sap tf out and stealing his clothes and running around spreading rumors like a character in Mean Girls spreading rumors about who the heroine is dating.

BIG YIKES AND BIG SWEAT. I think Sirius’s route is the first route to drop Seth’s connection to the Magic Tower, something I’d definitely never suspect. Maybe he’s a mole?? who knows.

But obviously who cares about that mumbo jumbo! We cut back to Sirius and Alice where Alice is drunk mumbling about how much she loves this sexy man, conveniently just while Sirius is in front of her and hears everything! But like the smooth operator he is he....................... doesn’t do anything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He just completely wipes the love confession clean from his memory and continues on his merry way as if it never happened. Great. A+ romantic development there, game.

Hell even the other boys are lowkey sick of Sirius “what is this feeling in my chest?! Definitely not love!” Oswald so they decide to all be MC’s wingmen because clearly that war you guys are fighting that is potentially killing all your men isn’t important! Sirius, OF COURSE, overhears the entire conversation where Alice admits she loves him and as usual.... HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING.

Is it a sin if I actually agreed with Seth. I MEAN NO OFFENSE TO SIRIUS BUT............ 

Seth, can I romance you instead? Promise not to sell me out to the Magic Cult in exchange for Amon’s weed stash though.

Oh jesus christ can you just confess your undying love for each other already this is starting to become infuriating. You guys have a GOD DAMN WAR being fought in the background and instead I’m forced to sit through this cat and mouse game between these two mofos. Sirius, I love you, but. god dammit.

Oh right, were we fighting a war? I think we were fighting a war hahaha oops I completely forgot about that! But thank god that King No Fun is here to ruin everyone’s day! As we know, Lancelot has been pretty much incapacitated the entire route due to using too much magic, but nothing stops the King of Hearts. The man deadass drags his delirious corpse out of his bed (cue Kyle screaming in the background) and waltz into the Black Army HQ like he pays rent to whisk our princess away like the friendly neighborhood kidnapper that he is. He knocks her tf out and frolics into the sunset on his horse with Alice’s passed out body.

Sirius being the knight in shining armor that he is catches up to Lance on his horse and demands Lance return Alice, which Lance is like “nah son”. Sirius then proceeds to BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF LANCELOT (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾) I THOUGHT THIS MAN DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT! and starts screaming in Lancelot’s face about how much pain his kokoro is in ever since Lancelot started being a piece of shit. Lancelot’s reaction pretty much just amounts to  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and he gives up on the girl and saunters off. 

Sirius proceeds to spill his token tragic backstory to Alice, about how he, Harr and Lance used to be best friends but ever since Harr was exiled and Lance took the title of King of Hearts, their friendship had been strained broken to smithereens considering how Harr LITERALLY tries to kill Lance. Honestly as much as I roast the terribad romance between Alice and Sirius, I really enjoyed learning about Sirius’s history with Harr and Lance and it was by far the most enjoyable part of the route. I appreciate how much Sirius cares about Lance and Harr and it’s definitely the thing I like most about his character.

Anyhoo they return to find the Black Army Headquarters ABSOLUTELY DECIMATED. The magic cult goons completely smashed their headquarters but considering how all the boys have plot armor, no one is hurt so it’s all okay! （‐＾▽＾‐）

Alice realizes that Lancelot kidnapped her to protect her from the attack and that he is most likely being manipulated by someone in the shadows. She convinces Sirius to take her onto the battle field to confront Lancelot once and for all for answers. FINALLY THE PLOT IS GOING SOMEWHERE, and this is like what, part 20 at least?!

The moment they confront Lancelot on the battle field, the real King No Fun aka Amon crashes the party and he’s not a happy camper. He’s sick of Lancelot buying time so decides to just whisk Alice away himself!

aaaaand finally Lancelot’s “I’m the Worst” facade drops as he loses his shit. I find it interesting how it’s the first time he refers to the MC by her name and not Alice. He dives into Amon’s teleportation spell and gets whisked away with them.

Alice awakens to find herself in Amon’s creepy sex dungeon and Amon is like... your stereotypical evil cackling maniac cartoon villain that you’d expect.

He’s even a misogynistic twat as the icing on the cake.

Unfortunately Amon only wanted Alice but he accidentally brought Sirius and Lancelot too as carry on luggage. He leaves Lancelot be since he needs him but Sirius is just a fly in his plan so LIKE THE EVIL CACKLING TOTALLY NOT RIKA VILLAIN THAT HE IS HE PULLS OUT A FUCKING GUN 

and shoots Lancelot.

Amon shits bricks over Lancelot protecting Sirius but is ultimately Monokuma level “lmao idgaf” and proceeds to try and kill Sirius but they’re rescued by Harr and Loki who whisks them away back to Red Army Headquarters.

Kyle REALLY FUCKING SHITS BRICKS THIS TIME POOR BOY CAN’T GET A BREAK after seeing Lancelot’s condition and somehow miraculously brings Lance back from the brink of death. Sirius and Alice talk with Lancelot and he finally comes clean with the truth about how Amon’s threatening to destroy Cradle with his weed stash unless Lancelot cooperates. Sirius is all like “aight then let’s go destroy his weed stash” and both armies begin working together to defeat Amon. Great, the climax of the plot is finally here, I’m so excited!

THAT IS UNTIL Alice realizes that the full moon is finally here and thus she must go home! She highkey wants to stay but Sirius is like “nah son you going home”. and proceeds to SHOVE HER ASS DOWN THE GATES OF HELL. But not before making out with her like his life depended on it. What the fuck, he doesn’t even confess his love for her! He just makes out with her and is all like “lul bye” and shoves her down the garden portal. 

Welp great, the final battle with Amon is finally starting and I’M NOT EVEN THERE TO SEE IT LMAO! It’s like the writers got too lazy at the end and pulled this bs to avoid showing the climax of the story. Wtf let me kick ass with my man, what is this weak ass underwhelming development. 

Alice waits around in Reason for about 3 months before going like “yeah you know what fuck it” and decides to go back to Cradle because a hoe got better things to do then just sitting on her ass waiting for her man who may never come for her!

She goes to the park just in time to see Sirius, who, surprise surprise, actually did come to get her! He tells her how they finally defeated Amon and that Cradle is finally safe! Amazing, it took you three months to find that weed stash; it took Alice and Jonah one evening in Jonah’s route.

She goes back to Cradle with Sirius but it’s already night so they decided to pitch a tent at a nearby inn with only one bed!

just go to sleep...................... just go to fucking sleep.

The next day they return to the Black Army Headquarters, which is now peaceful since Amon is defeated and the war is over. I got Sirius’s dramatic end; Alice and Sirius decide to go over to Sirius’s flower shop, where they run into Lancelot whose finally chilled out with his “I’m the Worst” act now that Amon isn’t breathing down his neck every second like a creepy evil Santa Clause.  Lancelot buys an iris flower and proceeds to give it to Alice.

I’M FUCKING CRY HE’S SO SOFT.......... HE SO SOFT...... PLEASE PROTECT HIM AND HIS PRECIOUS SMILE.

The route ends with Alice planting the flower Lancelot gave her in the garden of the Black Army HQ, promising to live her life with Sirius and protect the little things that are important to them (´へωへ`*). and finally, FUCKING FINALLY, SIRIUS FINALLY TELLS HER HE LOVES HER. THAT TOOK YOU LIKE WHAT, THE ENTIRE ROUTE?

but no seriously imagine how awkward it’d be for Alice, after making out and sleeping with him only to be like “oh wait does he even actually love me, he never said he did” derp.

-----

Anyway that was a rundown of my own thoughts of his route + awful commentary. I definitely think his route was one of the weaker ones and it just didn’t feel like Sirius or Alice had any chemistry (｡-人-｡). I hate to admit being disappointed, especially because I was really looking forward to Sirius’s route but alas it is what it is. There were some nice scenes and I liked the friendship dynamic between him, Lance, and Harr but overall it definitely paled in comparison to Jonah’s or even Lancelot’s route. Ohwell, sorry Sirius lmao.

[theincorrigiblemagpie]

Kasautii Zindagii Kay (2018) E01- Yo Momma So Bengali

25-9-2018

Long time no liveblog-first-few-episodes-of-a-new-show-before-giving-up-in-disgust, no?

It’s a big one this time, folks. I am here to watch the first episode of the KZK reboot with you all!

For those who have not spent a dissipated life watching Hindi TV and/or lack context: KZK was one of Balaji's 3 original 'K-soaps', that aired between 2001 and 2008 on Star Plus. It was the story of star-crossed lovers Prerna and Anurag (who was very unnecessarily Bengali). They had 30 million impediments to their relationship and literally never got together. No jokes. Spoiler alert but they tragically died at the end of those 8 years. One main impediment was the other dude in Prerna's life, Mr Bajaj (first name: Rishabh but always 'Mr Bajaj' to the world), whom she was married to for the most part. Another major impediment was the vampiest vamp that ever vamped-- Komolika. Between the 3 main protagonists, other partners of the 2 men, and from sundry side characters, we had eleventy five children who complicated matters further through several classic 'time leaps.' The only ones I cared about were Prem and Mukti but they also had a tragic end.

The first rule of fight club, even before you begin watching this reboot, is: NEVER ship anybody. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Anyhoo, it’s time to begin.

Lots of establishing shots of Howrah Bridge, Hooghly river, Victoria Memorial and sundry Kolkata monuments so that everyone knows we’re in Kolkata.

Extreme family-function-after-a-long-time feelz as we're introduced to a dizzying cast of people (the Basu and Sharma clans) who are all...praying. Separately in their own homes, I mean. The Sharmas are a modest 'middle-class' family while the Basus are mansion-owning-wealthy. I sat and screencapped all of them for you.

Meet the Sharma parents and siblings.

Now, meet the Basu parents and siblings.

And finally, Anurag and Prerna.

Please note how the Basus get a little Durga next to their names and the Sharmas get a little Ganesh. This attention to detail is what I expect from the production house that will at some point vanish several characters with no explanation.

On a side note, I am generally pleased with Erica Fernandes as Prerna. And think Parth Samthaan as Anurag is fitting in that I always thought Cezanne Khan was also terribly lame and not hero material at all. 

It's been 23 minutes and we're still in the exposition stage. We have learned through tedious and boring conversations that Anurag is a little goody-two-shoes who is obsessively punctual and determined to carve a name for himself independent of his father's publishing empire.

He is also the college heartthrob (obv everyone goes to the same college) but he does not talk to any women (except Prerna) leading to speculation about whether he's gay. And he only talks to Prerna about the weather despite having known her for 10 years on account of their dads being friends/employer-employee/both.

Prerna shows dangerous Manic Pixie Dream Girl signs and her explanation for all nosey questions about why she doesn't try to hook Anurag is "I'm romantic and he's practical-- we're incompatible."

If I had a rupee for every romance I've read/watched where the heroine disses the hero for his lack of romantic spirit and then discovers that he is secretly not as unfeeling as she'd thought, I'd freelance without worry forever.

The writers couldn't wait for Durga Puja because it's already Durga Puja in this show's timeline. I must warn you, it's likely to be Durga Puja up until November, when it will suddenly be Diwali. 

Prerna's mom puts up a gift item stall at the big Basu puja pandal every year while her dad oversees a lot of the general admin. Mohini Basu, who is a Calcutta socialite, pretends not to recognise Prerna because she's too much of a peasant, apparently. I’m censoring several uncharitable and gross comments about the background socialites who cannot act to save their lives, and esp the girl who was supposedly Miss Calcutta the previous year.

My mom, watching over my shoulder, asked why random people were doing Durga's aarti (including Prerna and Anurag) instead of just the priests. If any of you also have this confusion, it's so that this can be a source of foreshadowing, premonition, drama and whatnot. In that vein, Anurag and Prerna accidentally ended up doing the aarti together for a bit, which only married couples do on TV.

Mohini is absolutely a let-them-eat-cake bitch but Moloy makes WhatsApp jokes about matrimony and his wife constantly so I'm feeling far more sympathetic toward her than I should.

I’m wondering how much longer they'll keep up the red and white sarees worn the SLB-Devdas way, the dhunuchi naach, and the Hindi-fied Bengali to establish Bengali-ness. Can't wait for them to forget and only revive on special occasions.

Prerna's feather-brained friend forces her to ask Anurag if he's into boys or girls which she haltingly does. Boring Anurag proves to have a strange sense of humour wherein he tells her he likes boys and pretends as though a friend is his boyfriend. LGBTQ ally Prerna says 'that's great, so glad it's legal now' and also apologizes for asking such a personal question. Ngl, Prerna has exhibited the MOST sense on this show so far (despite her occasional lapses into MPDG territory). I refer to a scene where several girls were peeking through the shutters into a locker room to ogle Anurag in a football jersey messily drinking Gatorade (yes, we had a brief Kukkad Kamaal Da moment). Prerna rolled her eyes, said "this is so embarrassing" and walked away.

Anyway, the final bit is where Prerna's brother Mahesh (who has been living under a rock all his life in Kolkata, I believe), asks the priest who the buff dude with curly hair being killed by Durga is. Priest immediately extemporizes a flowery essay on Mahishasur and Durga for our benefit. This is cut with scenes of the silhouette of a drunk man in shiny red shoes exiting a big car and smashing a bottle of whiskey and setting it on fire. He is presumably the Mahishasur to Prerna's Durga. We've also had plenty of anvil-sized hints comparing Prerna to Durga but they were tedious and I won't go into them. (But with those shoes, he could also be the Wicked Witch of the East. Idk.)

I'm hoping this one is Bajaj and he'll appear on the scene soon enough (and not be rapey, please god) so that this story can move faster.

Ok so that alcohol-fire was in an alley on the outside of this very pandal and the whole place is on fire now. In tonight's episode, Prerna and her friend will get caught in this fire and Anurag will play a Rohit Shetty hero.

I’m starting a red-dupatta count for all the separate moments a red dupatta flutters across the scene and over one or both leads, because that is an original Kasauti Thing.

In today’s episode, it happened 3 times.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #175

“imagine living like a king someday, a single night without a ghost in the walls.”

Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen your ex’s new partner? If so, what do you think of them? I don't know or care if he currently has one. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? Done it twice now, it's not difficult if you're picky and serious with who you date. Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? Well my mom was somewhat aware of things that were happening. What was the last piece of candy you ate? Good question. I got my tongue re-pierced because of a bar length issue with swelling, and now this one is just shy of long enough to disable me from biting down entirely (they're snake eyes, so across the tip). I'm only just getting back into eating soft things very slowly unless I want pain, so candy's a no. I have to wait no less than three weeks to get a correctly-sized bar, and it's only been just over one aaaahhh. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted? No. Is your room painted or wallpapered? Painted. What is the best kind of pizza in your opinion? I'm an American I stan them meat lovers. Is there something that someone has done to you that you cannot forgive? No. Well actually idk, I still don't know for *sure* if I forgive him. Like I'm completely over it and it no longer affects me, but I could never ever ever ever look at him even remotely the same or even consider trusting him. I don't think that's supposed to happen when you forgive someone. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping. What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who has a homosexual parent? No. What type of music could this world live without? Pure screamo (no, not as a carpet term for metal). Are any of your pets “overweight”? No. Who’s the last person you cried over? Does myself count? Did the house you grew up in have a fence? Yeah, but not all around. What’s your YouTube channel name? 0zzkat. Who of your FB friends has the cutest toddler(s)? Uhhhh idk. Anastasia's baby girl is pretty cute, I guess. Did you decorate pumpkins this year? No. :/ They were totally gone the day we were gonna get one (the day before Halloween so no, we weren't that surprised lmao). What’s the craziest color you’d dye your hair? More like what color WOULDN'T I dye it? What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again? Shadow of the Colossus. I've beaten it around 30 times. Would be more if I didn't lose the disc, buuut it's actually coming in the mail now! What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Don't show me that fucking Linkin Park "crawling in my crawl" worm video. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name? None come to mind. What’s your dearest souvenir? *shrugs* What was the last strong scent you smelled? Probably coffee bc of Mom. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? If so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? Long instance + same-sex simultaneously. Distance is fucking hard when you really want each other's company, especially for emotional support. Being same-sex makes me nervous due to potential violent homophobics, especiiiiaaaally living where I do. I do it regardless, but even just holding hands leaves me worrying some asshole is going to cause a problem. I know my sister's husband isn't at all fond of it either and I'm 99% sure he's why Sara's never met the kids. But anyway, all those things are absolutely worth it. Would you ever consider something like a poly relationship, assuming everyone involved was alright with it? What are some things you think you would or wouldn’t like about it? Absolutely not, because I strictly believe in the exclusiveness of love. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? Colleen, probably. We are just about the antitheses of each other, yet we were "best friends." We disagreed too frequently, she was drama-ravenous, we kept leaving and coming back, etc. No, we don't talk now, and I refuse to ever do so again as friends. Have you ever been abusive in any way? Were you able to change or make amends, or, in general, what do you think people should do to make amends in that situation? No. I absolutely do not believe in "making amends" with your abuser. Keep them the fuck out of your life. Have you ever forgiven someone for being abusive or allowed someone toxic back into your life? Did this person change for the better or not? Toxic... you mean Colleen? Did it too many times, and no, she didn't. Do you feel like your age matches your emotional development? If not, what age level or maturity level do you feel best represents where you’re at? Part of me says no, another says yes. I guess it depends on the subject. What is one thing about your personality that embarrasses you, but you can’t seem to change it no matter how hard you try? Have other people called you out on this embarrassing thing? Being socially awkward as all hell, and yes. When was the last time you did something “meant” for children? Do you think it’s okay for adults to do these things (ie. watch cartoons, have stuffed animals, dress in cute clothing, etc), or do you think there’s an age beyond which it becomes unacceptable - and if so, why? I was playing Spyro just earlier today lmao. In almost all cases, no. I do believe that something like a full-grown adult playing pretend with dolls or something may be questionable, but even then there's not a real reason I can give you. What was the last thing to “trigger” you (as in, in a true mental health sense, I’m being serious here) and how did you cope with it? What kinds of things do you tend to find triggering? What do you do either avoid or face your triggers? Something PTSD-related, but I can't remember exactly what it was, I guess because I got past it pretty quickly. There are certain songs I should avoid, I canNOT look at the medicine I ODed on, I don't like seeing or being near large knives at all... If you’re diagnosed with anything, do you feel that it accurately represents what you’re experiencing? All of them, yeah. What is a complaint you have about the mental health industry or about the type of treatment you’ve received from a mental health service? Have you ever had any particularly bad therapy experiences? I feel that too many people working in the field care far more about the pay than the people. I can't guarantee a professional truly cared about what I was dealing with until Holly Hill. I've had one particularly horrible psychiatrist that threw diagnoses and pills around like they were nothing (the most ridiculous being ADHD, which I in no way exhibited), and a long-time therapist I had was pretty bad, something I realized only after I started with my current one. She was strict about that "you've got an hour, you're staying an hour, you're leaving no later" shit, and we always ran out of things to talk about so I'd just be sitting there super uncomfortably and numerous times start crying because I felt so awkward, and she'd just take it as a sign that I wasn't telling her something. She drove "and how does that make you feel" and "what're you thinking of" into the goddamn ground. Yeesh, having been a mental health patient for so long, I could really write a novel here. When was the last time you realized you might be the source of a problem and NOT someone else? Hm, idk. I'm so uninvolved with others that that's a hard question to answer. What are some minor physical discomforts that really bug you (eyelash in your eye, a wedgie, rumpled socks, etc)? HAVING THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR PANTS GET WET. I hate chapped lips, too. Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? Horizontal. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No. Are you ticklish? YEAH. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? No. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? I wouldn’t. Have you ever been in a submarine? No. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Only hot tubs. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. What was your first alcoholic drink? A Mike's hard lemonade. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Idk, I was a baby. What was your first detention for? Too many tardies. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? No. Have you ever been on radio? No. How long has your longest ever phone call been? A few hours. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Ummm I guess some kind of chicken is common? When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? Idk. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Uhhhh how am I blanking, I change my mind on things every five minutes. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? Sara's both my girlfriend but also the only "friend" I ever hang with now even tho we live several states apart lmao. I was there two weeks, so we did an array of stuff. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Hell, I barely ever remember my dreams. Jason still shows up maybe ehhhh around or maybe less than once a month, and I have no clue why other than maybe there's some PTSD effects I don't actually detect or something? It's not like I think about him much, so I really don't see why he shows up, but the theme is constant: awkwardness seeing each other again, and he sometimes tries to get back with me (thank FUCKING GOD even in my dreams, I don't). Sara's in some dreams that I remember. Mom, maybe. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? Nothing. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? I'll usually turn to YouTube for a distraction. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? Mom. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? Probably Bite Me by idr-who. I actually don't remember. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? Another sensor came off the keyboard. :') I dunno about fixed. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? Butterflies and semicolons. Hence my semicolon butterfly tattoo. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? Yeah. What do you get complimented on the most? My hair. What is something unusual that you find attractive? why does?????? everyone hate fedoras tbh?????????? What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? BOY this varies so much like fuck. Sometimes I don't eat breakfast at all, sometimes I do right when I get outta bed. Dinner can be at like almost 10:00 with Mom's schedule, or I may have it like five hours earlier. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I'm getting into a horror LPer and I'm binging her Silent Hill playthroughs. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I like pink but bloody guts and brains are cool 2. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? N/A What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Play video/computer games. Have you ever been close to drowning? No. Do you watch any Japanese anime? Not currently, but I've kinda had the urge to pick an interesting one up? Do you have someone who is protective of you (father, brother, etc.)? Mom and Sara above anyone else. Where was the last place you went, that you hadn’t been to before? Uhhhhh good question. I don't exactly go to new places often. Do you have any bad habits you aren’t working on changing? If so, do you ever think you’ll try to break them? I don't believe so off the top of my head? Then again I think everyone has little bad habits they don't try to improve upon, but I can't think of anything serious. When was the last time someone surprised you with their reaction or behaviors? I'm sure something with Mom, but idk what. Are you good at committing to things like Nanowrimo or Inktober? Nope. What is your preferred method of expressing yourself? Writing. Or drawing if I'm in the mood. Have you ever reached out to a crisis center for mental health support? If so, how was the experience? I tried to reach the suicide hotline via their online one-on-one chatroom because I was too afraid to actually call, but I ended up waiting I think 45 minutes before the OD happened. When was the last time you did something you were afraid to do, and how was the outcome? I drove at night and ordered food at a drive-thru myself. It went well. What is one positive thing you believe about yourself? I have a strong sense of right and wrong. What is something you have been through that has made you stronger? Depression as a whole. Other than money, what is something you wish you had more of in your life? Social life, success, and motivation to name a few. Is there anything that you tend to ignore for the sake of your sanity? Sure. Mental health stuff flares up sometimes if I think about some things too deeply. What was the last thing you argued or debated about? Did you eventually agree, or did you have to agree to disagree? Getting rid of Bentley, and neither, really. Mom knows we shouldn't have him for a world of reasons, yet she refuses to try to find a far more suitable home for him or at least talk to Nicole about it (he's her dog, but she doesn't live here), who's never even paid him almost any attention. I could rant about this for hours. What is something you wish was different about your family? THAT WE WERE CLOSER. What is your main struggle or focus in life right now? Getting out of the house/becoming more of a functioning adult. Are you more dramatic or stoic? I'm neither extreme, really, but I'd say I'm much further from stoic. Are you on medication for anything? If so, do you feel like it helps? Have you ever been afraid to take medication or had a particularly bad experience with it? A lot, but the only ones I feel don't work are the ones for my tremors and knees. I was on one med for a while that I was scared to take because it made me vomit (safe to say I wasn't on it long), and even my life-saver med made me sick at first, but I took prescription nausea pills to ride that out as my body adjusted. Do you prefer having long or short nails? Short, but not too short. When was the last time you had an argument with one of your parents? Idr. Do you tend to eat the same few things all the time or do you vary your intake? Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? Are there any commonly enjoyed foods that you don’t like? I'm picky and definitely have a limited palate. Some foods I can think of for the last question include fried chicken, BBQ, watermelon, tacos, all cheeses but American, aaaand I'm blanking again in an area I should have a book about. Do you have good body image? Do you feel more confident about your body or your personality? What is one thing about yourself about which you do feel particularly confident? Ha, as if, so personality. I like how open-minded I am. How likely are you to compliment other people? How do you react or respond when you receive a compliment? What are your favorite types to receive? It depends on the person, the atmosphere, and my anxiety level. I sometimes fear complimenting people because I don't want someone to be like "um why is she talking to me?"/"is she flirting with me?"/"why did she notice that?", etc. I become so giddy (at the very least internally) when people compliment me because of how my self-esteem is, and I really appreciate them. The compliments that mean most to me are regarding my photography. With how badly I want to be a successful photographer, people seeming to genuinely like what I do has actually made me smile like an idiot and giggle publicly. It just means a lot to me. Describe the last thing you reblogged? How many posts do you tend to reblog during a day? A clip of Mark having a fit over a dog in RDR2. How much I reblog varies greatly; depends on how much I get on Tumblr that day, what I feel like sharing at that moment, what I queue... Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? Depends. If it's Sara, I usually do. What’s the last kind of soup you ate? Vegetable. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It is pierced. The most memorable time that you skipped school, what did you do? I don't recall. Did you ever have a favorite teacher in high school? What made them your favorite? Coach Collie. He was very friendly, wise, his sense of humor was great, he cared deeply for his students, was super chill, shared life advice all the time, etc. etc. Can you think of a time when you were really obviously judged by your appearance? What happened? Not that I recall. What’s something your mother told you growing up that you actually listened to? Mind your manners. What are three emotions you experience regularly? Stress, content, but also discontent. What is your favorite Halloween candy? Reese's. Is there anyone who refuses to communicate with you? *shrugs* What was the last lengthy packet you filled out? Something for vocational rehab. Is there something you still can’t do even though you’re an adult or might be expected to do this thing? I don't have a job or drive. When was the last time you congratulated someone? Were you happy for them, indifferent, jealous? When I found out one of my closest high school friends is pregnant. I was obviously happy for her. What would you say is your STRONGEST emotion? Maybe not the most frequent, but the most intense? And what emotion do you feel most weakly, even if you might feel it more often? Anger; envy (but it's not often). Have you ever gone somewhere in your pajamas? What makes this acceptable or unacceptable to you? Plenty times, but it depends on my level of shits given and the location. Honestly wish pjs were more acceptable in public places cuz like why not, you've got clothes on, just don't go around where everyone can totally see your dick, ass, or tits. Other than the usual things like IDs, etc, what do you always carry with you when you go out? My phone. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? LOTS!!!! I particularly love fantasy-styled portraiture or macabre work, and omg give me soft lighting. I'm a sucker for emotive or conceptual portraits and the like. I like to photograph an array of things, but my faves are nature and animals. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Nope. Busiest shopping day I indirectly experienced was when I worked at GameStop during the holiday season... nope. It's a small store and it was flooded. I hated it. Idk about one where I/my family was the shopper. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? No. No. No. NO. I can't stomach going any further back than '15 at the RP forum because fucking cringe. All old stuff like physical journals and such, they're long gone because I never want to see them again lmao. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Hmmm, probably video games were the first things I was *really* deep into. Recently developed... good question. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc? I'M FUCKING /CRANKY/ IF I'M HOT. Serious lack of sleep makes me moodier. What is one common area of life in which you feel you have little to no experience (college, children, marriage, etc)? Work and independence. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? HEAT. If it's hot to me, you're gonna know. I'll complain if my stomach especially hurts, sometimes with other pain. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? I don't cook, so. But I'd definitely be the latter. When was the last time you were mean or rude to someone else? How about the last time someone acted that way toward you? I hung up on this insurance agency or whatever they are that call me every other goddamn day. I dunno about the second question. What kinds of things are most likely to make you lose your temper? Have you ever done something regrettable or embarrassing while angry? I fucking dare you to ridicule the mentally ill in front of me. Goddamn dare you. For the second part, not to my recollection. Do you have a large dog? No, both our dogs are medium-sized. If not, are you afraid of them? Not at all. Do your parents know that/if you smoke? I don't. What is the reason you last received money? Mom borrowed some from me so she was paying me back. Is anyone in your family sick? Not to my knowledge. Are you very upfront about things or do you "beat around the bush"? The latter, typically. Do you ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Not really anymore. Middle and high school? I was all about it. I wrote only one poem this year. How many bones have you broken? None. Whose house did you visit last? My sister Ashley's. Have you ever bought a fragrance by a celeb because you liked who it was? No. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 10 - "I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style" ~Amy

Colin survived omg omg. I went on call with him after tribal council and I smoothed things over with us. So I'm like the only person he's not hating right now. Also I literally told Colin everything. I told him exactly what happened which is so awkward if anyone finds out I tolf him that they all backstabbed him. Also Elle cannot be trusted!! Why would she do this? She's probably working with Colin and at this point I'm ok with voting off Elle. She really backstabbed the entire plan. Also Elle's idol is gone so it would be easy. BUT, we need to rid of the advantages that remain. There's not any time to get off people I don't trust. We need to expose every last idol we can. Also I know Brayden has an idol and I'm working with him but I might have to backstab that guy because if he makes it to final tribal council with an idol that will be big on his resume. Honestly Brayden will be seen as the most popular social player so that will look really good compared to me. So I might have to backstab my best friend before the time runs out. 

Wtf was that tribal. Literally besides Colin, the only person left out of the vote and lied to by my own partner. Just when i thought things were looking up for me in this game, the rug gets pulled from underneath me again. I literally dont feel like i can trust any of them but for the sake of playing nice, I have to pretend that everything is fine and be a fake bitch for a day or two. Ugh 😑

I understand Colin is probably really upset and hurt because he felt personally close with me, but I don’t understand why my reasons for not saving him weren’t valid. When he tried to save Dennis, it rubbed HIMYM the wrong way and I didn’t want to betray 5 people for 1 person the same way he did that because it’s what gave everyone distrust. He said he didn’t tell anyone about HIMYM until after he heard his name, but that’s a lie as Josh and Jay both heard of it by round 8. I said that and then he said “well that’s still one person”. It’s more than one and even then, one person is one person. You gave us a reason to distrust you and that’s why you were targeted. I never told anyone about his SWP because I didn’t want to give him a reason to tell others I’m not trustworthy or for him to target me with. Ultimately, of course I knew Jay wasn’t going to send me out, but there was a real concern that Babs had an idol and that between me and Anastasia, I would go. So yeah, my concerns were indeed valid as it could’ve gone to a point where I go. I really want immunity this round. So bad. But if it’s not me I’ll be ok with my allies having it. But please I want immunity!!! 

[this was earlier, but put it wherever✨] Sooooo so much drama these days, I used to be in an alliance with Jay, Brayden, and Anastasia but they're all in a megasix alliance except Jay is relatively new bc they swapped him out for Colin recently, Jay is completely in Jodi's pocket and RIP honestly bc I was hope our little Corn Tribe (we're both from Ohio lol) would make it far, Colin and I are firmly allies now and we have an alliance with Amy (who is currently Colin's no. 1 ally and I respect that she risked it all for him lol understandable) and are goin to make another one with Josh. Josh and I are allies and I trust him a lot partially bc ppl lied to him almost as much as ppl lied to me and Colin and being at the bottom is a good way to know your allies are true, they have little to gain 😂 oh and Brayden and Anastasia and I are still "allies" and idk Jay hasn't talked to me yet sooooo let's see what happens there!

I accidentally said that Josh was on the bottom out loud when I was answering him for the question who doesnt deserve to be here. Omg I literally ruined our relationship. I am sooo stupid. I literally told him i was sorry and he said K. Ok but he is on the bottom. Obviously he doesn't need me as an ally and that whole side has a plan. Omg Im ready to be blindsided lol. But also maybe dont vote out me. Josh really isnt that forgiving is he? That is crazy to me. I wouldve pretended to forgive at least. Now I feel even more awful because he never said he forgave me. Pain. Anyways I screwed up and now I'm just praying Josh doesn't gun after me now. But I did tell Josh the whole truth and apologized genuinly about the situation. Oh god I hope he doesnt hate me. I dont even want him as a jury vote I just cant take anyone hating me or disliking me. It makes me want to throw up. But I deserve to feel this way since I emberassed him infront of everyone i am so so stupid. Anyways time to plan who to get out. OMG JOSH JUST TEXTWD ME "It's fine Im on the bottom. My feelings dont matter" WHAAATTT OF COURSE HIS FEELINGS MATTWR I CANT BELOEBE IHURT HIS ACTUAL FEELINFA I AM SO STUPID WTF I AM AWFUL I WILL GO APOLOGIZE MORW NOW GOODBYE

it appears either jodi or jared are going tonight, and although they’re my allies, i selfishly don’t care. I’ll still be in the game, so that’s nice i suppose. I love jodi, but she’s paranoid and it’s a whole deal trying to work with her, if she got voted out i could maybe get some sleep every once in awhile. I love her to death, but frankly whatever happens tonight as long as it ain’t me I don’t really care. Hell, even if it is me, then whatever lol, I can get caught up on sleep then. Frankly this is where the game gets ugly, and i’m cool with staying out of the drama. it still sucks that josh hates me though, i genuinely like him, and i feel like he doesn’t want to be my friend beyond the game anymore. To me, i’m going to keep doing me. I’m gonna chill, i’m gonna relax, and i’ll play when i feel like it. My mental health is important, so even if i’m not playing as hard as others, it’s just a game. If i lose, i will not lose any sleep over it. 

DAMN last tribal really killed the vibes in the game. no one wants to talk. everyone is scared of stuff getting leaked or turning on people. BUT ON THE FLIP side that means everyone is flipping on everyone SOMEHOW amy managed to escape unscathed. They have NO idea she's in with us and with them. She's telling us everything. it's actually insane to watch her do it. Truly international superspy behavior.   We have our numbers and they have theirs. They made another majority alliance except they replaced me with Jay. Whatever, expected. its fine. I truly did not talk much to people before the challenge, I just laid back and let Amy gather information for us. The immunity challenge was absolutely crazy good for us. Elle winning immunity is perfect, and the fact they GAVE AMY the other immunity is also amazing, a testament to how much they do trust her. THEN THIS IS WHERE THINGS STARTED GETTING EXCITING so I still have my handy chaos idol. I was thinking about numbers and I came to the realization that we could get Jodi cirie'd out this tribal. Their side is splitting votes on Josh and I, and there's four of us. If we vote the other 4 people in that alliance and then play the chaos idol, it leaves Jodi the only one without a vote and she's automatically out. It was a huge risk but I brought this plan to Josh, Amy, and Elle. because of the touchy subjects it made me truly feel that I could trust my allies right now. I was voted "Who is your closest ally" and I'm almost certain it was those three that put me down. That means I can trust them with this plan. (I hope). Elle, however, brought up the very good point that Jodi might be idoled, it's very obvious for us to go after her. SO we also decided that we should leave no votes on Brayden and then theres a revote between the two. SO TLDR THE PLAN RN: play chaos idol and coordinate votes so there's a revote between Jodi and Brayden. Also we're telling everyone else our plan is to vote Jared, that way it's not too obvious we have shit up our sleeve. there is the prospect of them splitting the vote 3-3 and then we don't even need to use the chaos idol, we just have the numbers. The other option is they put all 6 votes on one person and then we do have to play it. Thats why its so good we have Amy as our inside source telling us everything that's going on with them. so yeah right now we're still playing it by ear. not a lot of people are online and available to we're just waiting to get it all sorted out. Updates soon! uwu

Hahahahaha omfg so after we yeeted out of last tribal and then elle used their idol apparently anastasia and jodi changed their vote to Babs so they still went home and we kept Colin's idol. We jumped back on the tribe call and it was only host Jay and Raffy left lol like we were ready for a tribe fight! But I think it turned out better because I am still getting all the info in the group. Touchy subjects was interesting and almost exposed us bc colin and jodi tied for closest allies lol which I'm sure it was like 3-3-whatever. But she said I'm the group maybe it was like 2-2-1s. So that's a relief. However. Everyone is being really quiet with me and our brayden - jodi - me alliance is silent. I'm concerned they think it is me who's leaking but from what I can tell jodi (and thus anastasia, brayden,jay, and jared automatically) believe it was elle who leaked the plan to vote colin. So idk how but I'm in the clear. I'm just waiting to be found out bc I'd be an easy vote out. BUT I think they believe I'm still with new himym because brayden chose to give me immunity in touchy subjects!! And elle got first out!! So we are both safe and the current plan for Jodi's group is to tell Colin josh and elle they are splitting but they will put all votes on josh so that colin flushes his idol. Except lol it's a chaos idol. And if that's the case colin wants me to vote him ☠️ but it actually keeps him safe so I'll do it. I would just hate for the chaos idol to be fake. I think I know where all remaining advantages are except the idol I think Jared has lol. So for the break down brayden has an idol he believes is real but is fake and he is not telling anyone in the group or jodi or me so as much as I like brayden I can't wait to see him play it and it's fake. Then Colin has Dennis's chaos idol and one more regular idol. I have the merge idol and a steal a vote. That leaves only jared's idol that we might be able to flush this go if they actually believe jared is the target from Josh elle colin. But if they don't we can leave votes off jared and jodi and we can vote out the unplayed idol or vote jodi out and her minions have to regroup. My biggest concern has been josh bc he really seems to not like me ☠️ and here I am risking it all to keep colin, elle, and josh in the game lol. So now colin elle and I have a three. Colin filled them in and they trust me. And we waited until josh calmed down bc he was really mad that I cut his rope in the challenge. Unfortunately I knew that he wasn't winning bc he's at the bottom, none of them were giving him immunity, and I needed to keep up the facade that I was with them 100% so I was guessing like everyone else on the most allies even though I knew it would be colin lol. So now colin has talked to Josh and josh knows about the chaos idol so I just hope he's 100% with us. Because if we play this right it's 4-4. And then I'm gonna have to reveal to them I have a steal a vote lol they might be upset I didn't tell them before but I've never said I didn't have anything (except to jodi whoops). Also now jodi is thinking worst case like wants me to say I'll vote out anastasia if it's a revote and also at 6. I was like "oh I'm a revote? I got you" as in if vote you out sorry girl. Listen I know I'm not winning and I know I'm not getting to the end because it would be stupid to take me at this point. I'm literally a double agent secret spy lol. However the entire jury WILL despise me but all I could hope is they respect the moves I made. But it seems like a lot of people in this game take things very personal so I really think it would be a completely bitter jury against me not that I'm getting there. I kind of don't want to use my steal a vote at 8 and hope they still think I'm with new himym because then we could simply idol where their vote is and I keep steal a vote for 6 and my idol for 5 and I'm golden lol 😂. And here I was gonna hard quit the game lol. I mean tbh they could just vote me here... Wait lol I'm immune jk thanks. Literally i think Babs is indifferent and dennis did like me but his vote would still go to colin. But if I was in f3 IMAGINE the story of have to tell lol and convince them all. It's the struggle of playing more behind the scenes but I really think someone is going to leave the info. I hope josh stays quiet until 7 when we should have numbers. Anyway all of this to say I wanted to play this game doing the absolute minimum and I'm spending hours and hours a day like copy pasting from the group to colin 😂 and now to our group. The problem is colin really believed jared when he said he'd flip and I was like colin no that's EXACTLY what he detailed he'd do in the group. And then Colin and josh were like wait anastasia and brayden may consider flipping and here I was like no y'all they are telling me / us they're saying that. Unless it's like a double play they are lying to you and that's their plan. All I can do is copy paste their exact messages and hope they believe me. I really do think they trust me bc I'm risking my life here. I just need to talk to Josh and explain the situation and I am with him not against him! Honestly this is such a great cast and they are playing very well. It'll be fun to see how it all works out. I don't think I'll be at the end but I would love to see underdogs take it. I would actually love josh elle and Colin at the end and I'd vote colin to win lol he put in work! I'd also vote anastasia to win because she has laid low so well with still having pull in the game. Idk it's a fun one that I think will blow up on me soon but I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style bc I'm just here to have fun not to win actually lol. I am writing this while on a flight so I'll have updates later. Oh right our 4 group plan is to use the chaos idol and throw votes around so that like 2 or 3 people don't have votes then they are the only ones vulnerable in the revote and everyone who got votes is safe. Then we can vote either jared or jodi like that's the thing if jodi doesn't play an idol here I don't think she has one or no one is giving her one. I think my only chance to make it farther is to let the 4 group know I'm with them 100% but still keep my idol for myself hopefully until 6 or 5 but lol idk about that. Like I can see them wanting to take me out then. Okay that's all my thoughts right now.

https://youtu.be/ji7K8HkLmRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Ru1J0iXYA&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/rVRVR2zzkPc

https://youtu.be/PAjCL7-GWV

[😬 Not me completely forgetting to send this oops here i'll add a fun quote at the beginning] Jodi is Regina George, we are the schoolbus✨ Sooooooo Colin has a chaos idol how fun for him and tbh im kinda tired so here's the voting plan and the rest you can just kinda glean: Amy - Josh Elle - Colin Josh - Anastasia Colin - Jay ~~~

Edgic:

Power Ranking:

Amy: She has managed to escape suspicion from last round. Nobody believes her to be the rat leaking things to Colin. She is in the best position in this game right now being on all sides and having every single option open to her.

Colin: King of idols. King of chaos. He has it all locked down. Has capitalized on those the Jodi side has burned. Will continue to capitalize on it. The power struglle ends here.

Elle: Mostly just floating behind Colin’s shield which is what she should be doing atm.

Josh: If he stays out of people’s periphery, he can make it far. Might be dragged to end, but could make a great pitch for himself.

Jay: Ruined his position with multiple people last round. Is sort of in the middle? Sort of not? He is definitely aligned with Anastasia and Brayden who are protecting him.

Brayden: If he betrays Jodi, he will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to become a free agent instead of being locked into an alliance.

Anastasia: If she betrays Jodi, she will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to step away from Brayden and Jay who are clouding her good judgment. She is being iced from the other side.

Jared: I don’t know why he is going to use his idol on Jodi? His loyalty to her will be his downfall.

Jodi: Seems to have accepted being voted out this round. Seems to have backed herself into a corner based on her logic. Too worried about advantages to see the right path.

[shtsgot7says]

(Non-GOT7 Related)

I remember my 12 yr old self stanning SHINee. I remember learning the choreography of Lucifer and Sherlock. I remember reading and making imagines that I was with them. I remember the many things I've done, stanning SHINee. It had been on and off but the feel is there, I never left the fandom.

I remember Jonghyun as the bright person that he is. That's why he was named Bling Bling Jonghyun afterall. It was not the jewelries that did justice for making him always shine on stage, but his personality and his talents. He has fought for the LGBT and women rights. He has helped numerous fans with Mental Health issues and he has composed songs about Mental health. He was one of the greatest vocals ever to graze upon the stage.

Now I remember myself crying so hard yesterday upon receiving the news. At first it did not sink upon me that he's dead; that maybe the news article was just referring to a new k-drama and that he died there but no, how can a bright person suddenly just die? It goes to show that Depression really has no face. You can be happy for today, but tomorrow you'll be planning on different ways on how to kill yourself.

I scrolled through my twitter to find out that everything is true and I just couldn't accept it. I cried until I fell asleep then when I woke up, I cried again. It's better to see articles that says "left the group" rather than "left the world".

Moreover, some sources say that according to Shawols on the hospital that Minho fainted due to exhaustion to too much crying, Taemin laid on the floor sobbing uncontrollably, Kibum locked himself in a room and idk about Jinki but I feel that he's going to take this more seriously than the members because he's the leader. (It's not your fault Lee Jinki, it's nobody's fault. I hope you are not blaming yourself) It is probable that SHINee might disband but if this really happens, let us respect their decision.

He's one of the many examples on how Mental Health should not be disregarded. It is not a phase, a joke nor a trend but a serious illness that needs attention. If you have friends or families who have that, treat them in every way possible because lives matter, YOU MATTER. Or if you have it yourself, we are all here for you. You are not alone in this battle. Talk to those people you feel comfortable with. Also, my inbox is open and feel free to DM me if you want.

Last, I want to take this opportunity to bid farewell to Jonghyun. Condolences to his family and friends. You may be gone from this world, but an angel like you will never be forgotten. You've done great things far more than you've ever imagined. Rest well now in heaven. You are now a star shining brightly in the sky, watching all of us here.

Thank you Jonghyun-ah. We love you and we will miss you.

NOTE: The picture above shows the suicide note left by Jonghyun. It was debated by his family whether they should show this to the public or not but they decided that they should show people how a victim of depression goes through life. "You" in his letter refers to his Inner Demon. (Trans by Dear Nine)

[rogerdvies]

lEO give me movie recs. and song recs. and book recs. plEASE.

@nviles. i came inside from the nice hot sunlight to do this so you better appreciate it. i don’t watch a whole lot of movies i mostly watch tv series with friends when sick so i’m not sure but i tried. also don’t know what genres you like so i chose my favorite stuff from everything.

movies.

orange (movie): a japanese romance movie that made me cry three times on a plane it’s amazing you should definitely watch it i put a link to its wiki page so you know which one i’m taking about

the worst witch (netflix series): v v cute redo of an older series that was originally based off of a book series

hush (movie): if you like suspense/a little bit of horror, this was actually an amazing movie 10/10 would recommend

inception / source code (movies): both really psychological films and if you haven’t seen them please do (also i ship arthur/eames so hard in inception whoops)

1st coffee shop prince (series): this is a k-drama romance/comedy you can kind online with subtitles easily and for free and i love it so much

scrubs (series): a medical fictional tv series that is hilarious and everyone should watch because EAAAGGGGLLLLLLEEEE and also doctor cox is super hot and sarcastic 10/10 on my gaydar for an older man

grimm (series): 10/10 nick is hot watch it for him

mash (series): old military comedy tv series that i grew up watching because both my parents were military and they really liked this show

ghost whisperer (series): honestly idk i just love it my favorite episode is the lost boys one in one of the first seasons.

books.

night angel trilogy by brent weeks. it is about assassins. it’s so cool. this series messed me up so much don’t love any of the characters they will all break your heart.

mistborn trilogy by brandon sanderson. people with really cool powers that revolve around emotions and metal and its my all-time favorite series tbh but don’t fall in love with kelsier i did and it was a fucking trap.

newsflesh trilogy by mira grant. zombies. and journalists. and snark. lots of snark.

all the percy jackson books but you’ve read those already.

all of the maze runner books but you’ve read those already.

the testing series by joelle charbonneau. omfg i love this series no regrets think kind of like hunger games but better.

the riyria revelations + chronicles by michael j. sullivan. i’m in love with hadrian he’s the best. assassins and knights and gwen is also really badass.

brave new world by aldous huxley. it’s more psychological and it will fuck you up. i hate every single character but i learned a lot from it.

songs.

my entire spotify??

kick-ass/sassy songs:

no scrubs - unlike pluto, joanna jones

it’s you - molly kate kestner

fuck you - lily allen

ugly heart - G.R.L.

hold my heart - lindsey stirling

call me - le malls, lilianna wilde

like that - bea miller

dickhead - kate nash

anything ed sheeran

that’s not my name - the ting tings

NO - meghan trainor

sorry not sorry - demi lovato (ava gave me this one)

that’s my girl - fifth harmony

sit still, look pretty - daya

indie/chill songs:

devil’s in the backseat -lostboycrow

after rain - dermot kennedy (LISTEN TO THIS GDI IT’S MY FAVORITE SONG)

anything by east forest

anything by sohn (especially their tremors album i adore it)

holloway road - tat carosielli

still life - aqualung

the moss - cosmo sheldrake

ghost - jacob lee

planets and stars - pavvla

don’t come easy - isaiah

simple as that - tanya ryan (also one of my old yoga instructors isnt that cool)

moon & stars - jae jin

[barba-booty]

A-Z 😄?

Oh boy, here we go~ (fucking tumblr messed up the spacing. -_- i must remember to fix it later.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed. - Jaden/Yuya. I know they aren’t even in the same series but fuck if I don’t think they’d be adorable together. Um, Zane/Aster.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. - Hm, I can’t think of any. Generally if I don’t like a ship, there’s no changing my mind.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will. - Carisi/Rollins, Kaiba/Tea.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t. - Barba/Benson. I like their friendship, but I just can’t ship them for some reason.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? - Not at the moment.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?- HOOO BOY. Ronin Warriors, since I was fucking like 10.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it? - Yes. Kaiba/Joey.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? - I kinda don’t understand how this is worded?

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? - Steven Universe, Korra. Just drama.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.) - Over the Garden Wall.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? - Hm… Nezumi from No.6.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.) - Asami is pretty. (Korra)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. - Carisi, Jaden Yuki, Sei Iori 

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice). - Uhhh, in character fanfiction, fanfiction of my OTP and more scenes of them together.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? - Everything you want, Allenby Beardsley from G Gundam.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). - Pass! I’m not much of a AU fan.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. - I really don’t abandon them? I kinda got sick of DragonBall after Super came out though.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? - Yugi/Joey.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged) - Using the Japanese names of the characters, Kaiba calls Jounouchi by his first name only when he’s mad at him to make him understand how serious he is. IDK? I thought of it awhile ago while writing something.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? - Errr, not really.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites. - Riza Hawkeye from FMA, She’s a bad ass and doesn’t take shit from anyone. Yukine from Noragami, he kinda reminds me of myself. Rafael Barba from SVU, Another doesn’t take shit from anyone character.

 V - Which character do you relate to most? - Yukine from Noragami. At least in his character development. 

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. - Ehh, I’m not sure?

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom. - Probably the cliche ‘lets pretend to be dating because I need a date quick’ one.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)? - I‘m not in them but probably anything Marvel or DC.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.) - I JUST REALLY REALLY WANT MORE JONAS OR NEVADA FANFICTION. AND FUCK, I’M A FUCKING SUCKER FOR READER INSERTS.