#source: i would go anywhere for cheese

[worbess]

started watching blue eye samurai, it is very good, the animation is so beautiful

here's my shit take: Mizu should have gotten some real good cheese from somewhere, to lure all the total of 4(?) white men in Japan, out. Could have killed them all at once

[charlotteking23]

I would love to see a cat noir x reader were cat noir gets into some catnip and started acting like a love sick puppy who is determined to be as clingy as possible with reader

Chat Ate Catnip!?

Chat Noir x reader

Summary: Cat Noir gets into some catnip and start acting like a love sick puppy who is determined to be as clingy as possible with you.

It was night in Paris and here you were laying on the couch next to your boyfriend cuddling him. You were watching Princess and the Frog, best movie ever, the movie was in its final scenes in ending.

"Mon amour, are you all right"?, Chat said looking at your awkward position.

"Hmm..I just have to use the bathroom", you said continuing to squeeze your thighs together to stop the irritation.

"Just go Mon amour, why hold it", Chat smiled brightly also maneuvering to sit up like you.

"I can't, it's my favorite part of the movie", You eagerly said before you saw Chat roll his eyes before pausing the movie.

"There, now go Mon amour", Chat said watching you quickly get up before running to the bathroom to do your business.

Suddenly you heard a crash in kitchen before you quickly finish using the bathroom before running into the kitchen.

"What happened, Chat are you hurt"?, You said scared upon seeing the mess on the floor. Turning the corner you saw a bag of catnip on the floor but before you could pick it up, You felt someone jump on top of you.

"ARGHH, What the-,Chat...What are you doing?", You asked in pain before looking at Chat angrily.

"What did you do that", But instead of answering Chat only hugged you tighter refusing to let you go.

You found the source of the problem, Chat had eaten catnip which altered him to act so weird. You tried to create some space but Chat just chose to jump on your back, staying there.

"No, don't leaveee, please", Chat adorably replied pouting with his cute lovesick eyes, making it so hard to refuse.

You almost caved...Nevermind you caved in, I mean how could you leave Chat all alone especially in this state. So you were basically his cuddle pillow.

"Were gonna be together forever and ever right...", Chat said with his infamous sweet smile that melts your heart on how adorable he looks.

"Of course baby", You smiled before gently playing with his hair.

"Hmm, baby I'm gonna go get's some water, I will be right back", you said getting up but being dragged back down with Chat cuddling your arm.

"NO, you are not going anywhere amour", Chat grinned before laying his head on your lap.

You gave up trying to leave Chat from his body basically on top of you and how fussy he got when you tried to move just an inch.

"It said it should last an hour or maybe more", You google up 'what to do if your cat ate some catnip'.

"Luckily its nothing serious, only the cat would get super clingy, great", You smiled at the purring kitty resting on your leg.

"You tired Baby", You grinned gently rubbing behind chat ear's.

Chat gave a sleepy nod, rubbing his face deeper into your leg enjoying the massage.

"Do you want to go to bed or stay here", You said admiring the way Chat looked all sleepy.

"Here", Chat quietly mumbled to you.

"Why don't you detransform so you can be comfortable", You suggested before Chat stood quickly mumbled out 'Plagg claws in'.

You stood up before laying Chat down on the couch, "Where are you going?", Chat tiredly said before opening his eyes glancing up at you.

"I am going to go feed Plagg and put him to bed then I will cuddle you", You sweetly smiled. Yep, Plagg and Adrien love to stay over all the time so you decide to buy a small bed for Plagg to sleep in and restock on all his favorite cheeses. As you went to leave, you could hear Adrien getting up before following you to the kitchen.

"Here Plagg some Camembert", you saw Plagg quickly stuff the cheese down his belly.

"That was the best Camembert, Yum", Plagg said burping then rubbing his belly satisfied then flying towards your room to go to bed.

You dragged Adrien back to the couch before taking some of his spare pajamas he has left over here, to change into.

Adrien quickly changed before taking your hand and laying on the couch with his hands around your waist as his face buried into your shoulder.

You slowly lifted the blanket on to the two of you before hearing the soft purrs of Adrien sleeping before doing the same.

[blissfullyecho]

My Skinny Tips for the Holidays

If you’re in the US, Thanksgiving is this week and next month begins all the holiday parties and events for Christmas, Hanakkuh, Kawanzaa, and all other winter holidays that will include a ton of processed and sugary foods, seasonal coffee’s and fun drinks, and alcohol.

A note for the dieting police out there: Don’t even try it with me.

How I Manage the Holidays + My Body

So generally during November and December, I eat very clean (except for the holidays). I allow myself a Thanksgiving plate with everything (literally everything), dessert, sugary fun drinks/alcohol, and leftovers. This is the same thing I do with Christmas dinner as well. I don’t limit what I eat on the actual holidays, but the other days I do.

How I Eat on Non-Holiday Days

So like I said, I eat very clean in Nov and Dec because I know it’s going to get crazy on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. So I stick to eating mostly vegetables, soup, and lean protein. I actually stop drinking smoothies this time because I’d rather eat my protein than drink it so I’m not feeling hungry so soon. I get hungry faster when I drink a smoothie than I do with actually eating, so I eat more (just sticking with veggies, soup, and lots of lean protein). I do cut back heavily on bread, rice, and pasta; but my main source of carbs comes from fruit, sweet potatoes, and corn (corn is carb-heavy). I also cut OUT added sugars. I read the label on everything. 0g of added sugar is what I get. Like I said, I still indulge on whatever I want during the actual holiday meal which are things loaded in sugar, so I cut back for the month. And for everyone saying “it’s restricting” … babe, respectfully, shut up. Cutting out added sugar that does nothing for you except make you crash, bloated, ruin your gut lining, decrease collagen production, can increase your A1C (diabetes risk), and turns straight to fat is not restricting. You’re gonna have that stuff on the holidays— you can cut it out for 3 weeks, I promise.

Managing Holiday Office Parties & Community Events

I still enjoy the office potlucks and other mini events because I usually reach for the protein options instead or the veggie options. I’ll have the turkey, the ham, the deviled eggs (deviled eggs hate to see me coming), the cranberry chicken salad, etc. I still enjoy myself, I’ll just not have the pumpkin pie, the Mac and cheese, the stuffing, etc. because I’m saving that for my actual Thanksgiving/Christmas meal. Also… I do not trust other people cooking for me unless I’m there watching things happen. I don’t know what goes on at your house lol.

… But what if Paula from HR brought in her world famous (insert sugary, fatty, super processed, but super yummy food here)?

I’m most definitely going to have something if it’s something I can’t get anywhere else. If there is something that I know looks good (or is actually good) and I’m not gonna have it at my Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, then I’ll have some. I don’t say no because it’s not part of my “diet”. There’s this girl I used to work with and she would bring in these cheesy, turkey, apple, and cranberry sliders. They were SO GOOD. I would have 1 slider and then load up on the celery and other veggies or fruit.

Alcohol

I’m not drinking alcohol unless it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or NYE. That’s just a no go for me. When I drink, I like to drink socially. But there’s 3 days for the rest of the year where I’m going to be drinking all night, so I don’t have any alcohol unless it’s the day of the holiday.

Bring in a healthy side option

For my office potluck, I’m making a fruit bowl, a veggie plate, and a large charcuterie board. My work bestie and I will prob be the only ones picking off of the veggie plate, but at least we do have options to load up on in case Paula from HR brings in that delicious yummy option and we want a full plate of food like everyone else.

If I’m going to have it on Thanksgiving or Christmas, I’m not going to have it anywhere else (unless it’s protein)

I will skip the sweet potato casserole and the macaroni and cheese because I’m going to have it on my Thanksgiving and Christmas. Again, I don’t care for home cooking unless I was there watching you cook for me (or if you’re a cute old lady or a grandma, I trust them so much). But the point is, I’m not going to have 8 Thanksgiving dinners this month. I’ll have one with my family and that’s it. I’m not even doing a Friendsgiving this year (but that’s only because we’re all traveling or working). But the main reason we gain weight during the holidays isn’t because we have a treat or two, it’s because we are having a Thanksgiving or Christmas meal every 2 seconds.

What’s on my Thanksgiving/Christmas plate?

I eat whatever I want, but I’ll only have a plate and a slice of dessert. I don’t get seconds or thirds. I’m a one plate girly and that’s it but I load my plate with everything and I give myself solid amounts. I don’t put tiny scoops of anything on my plate. I’d rather have food on my plate that I can’t finish rather than me cleaning my plate because I didn’t put enough of anything on there and still feeling hungry and restricted. I want to enjoy myself with my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas isn’t the time to feel restricted. For dessert, I’ll have a slice of a dessert. This year I’m being told we’re having pumpkin pie and Dutch apple pie, which are both my favorites. So I’m going to have HALF a slice of pumpkin pie and HALF a slice of the apple pie and it’ll equal to one full slice. With alcohol, I’m always drinking water. I actually drink water with my meal and drink alcohol around the meal. I personally like to stick to red wine.

How do I handle leftovers?

My family likes to give the kids (which would be me, my sibling, and our cousins) the leftovers so we can take it home. I try to take most of the protein, green bean casserole (my all-time fav omg), and deviled eggs (my grandmother makes the best, it’s impossible to beat her tbh) whereas my sibling and our cousins like to take the macaroni, garlic mash, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and the other foods.

Exercise

I’m exercising everyday. Even on Thanksgiving and Christmas I’m exercising. I have my own routine but on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’ll also be doing a hot (plump) girl walk after my meals to help my food digest. But even on my rest days, I’m doing active recovery.

The whole month isn’t a holiday.

I think you just have to manage the holidays by reminding yourself that’s it’s not Christmas or Thanksgiving everyday. You don’t need a full Christmas or Thanksgiving plate each day. Still enjoy the fun Starbucks drinks or Kelly from the marketing department’s apple pie, but order the tall Starbucks and not the grande or venti. Have a slice of the pie and not 1/3 of the pie. Don’t eat the candy on the table that you don’t really care for but it’s within reach so you eat it anyway. Save that for something you actually do like.

…And for anyone who is going to rage type a weird message saying I’m promoting anything unhealthy, please save yourself the time.

Happy Holidays! 🤍

✨ My new book “The Luxe Girl’s Playbook” is available now (this is the link). It’s about going into 2025 a brand new, leveled up version of yourself mentally and how you can make everyone that doubted you absolutely sickkkkk. It’s the mental diet we all need. It’ll be unavailable mid-December 2024 🫶🏼

[thedramaticonestuff]

Fanfic Time!

Hey guys! So, I just posted a little HC/AU thingy about the children of Gromit and Fluffles. The link to the OP is here: https://www.tumblr.com/thedramaticonestuff/772786985391751168/fuck-it-gromit-and-fluffles-fan-children?source=share

In it, I made one of the children transgender, and mentioned that the first person she came out to was Wallace, so, I decided to write a little story about just that. Also, this is my first time posting a fanfiction ANYWHERE, so I’m a little nervous. 😬

Side note: I’m writing this story about a trans person from the perspective of a cis woman, so if I got something wrong, I apologize. Just know that I tried to be as respectful as possible when writing this, and if anyone who’s actually trans finds this and would like to give feedback, please do so! Anyway, here’s the story! Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

Wallace and Gromit are © Aardman Studios and my OCs are © yours truly.

Lass

A Coming Out Story 

By Cam (aka @thedramaticonestuff)

Okay. Deep breaths. You can do this. The little poogle exhales sharply and then breathes in again. Her eyes dart around the ground floor of the house, as if she suspects she’s being watched. Just tell him. You can’t keep living a lie. It’s destroying you!

There the old man is, in his favorite chair, reading the paper and eating cheese as usual. Relax, we’re the only ones here. Well, Daddy and Diesel are in the garden, so they’ll be a while. Mum’s at football practice with the other boys, and Zen’s with a mate. Now is the best time. 

She cautiously approaches. Her paws are damp with sweat and her heart is a large bass drum in her ears. She clears her throat, and the old Yorkshireman looks up from the newspaper. There’s no turning back now. 

“Ay up, Lad.” Ugh. Lad. The word feels so wrong, it’s nearly painful. It jolts down her spine, leaves a cold mush in her belly, and coils around her throat like a hungry snake. It’s not her. It has never been her. 

“Something wrong? You look nervous.” Yeah, maybe a little. Well, to the frantic butterflies in her stomach, it’s certainly not just “a little”! No need to freak out. This is your Uncle Wallace. He loves you. You love him; he’s your safe person. The young pup jerks her head towards the hallway, motioning for him to follow. 

“Alright, hold your horses, I’m right behind you!” he calls. 

She leads him to a small room, where the computer and printer are on a flat, wooden desk. A freshly produced document is on the printer’s output tray, entitled Pride Flags and Symbols. She turns to the man who, in her mind, is also the colour brown and the month of November, even though he was born in August. Damn synaesthesia. C’mon, focus!

Placing her front paws on the edge of the swivel chair that accompanies the desk, she gazes up at Wallace, indicating that she wants to go up. He obliges, carefully lifting her and placing her on the desk. 

“Right then. What do you want to tell me, Lad?” There’s that damn word again! The word she despises being called more than anything. Slowly, she shakingly points at the paper. On it is a rectangle made of baby pink and blue stripes, with a white stripe wedged in the middle. Wallace squints as he gazes down. 

“Eh, ‘Transgender Pride Flag’?”, he reads aloud. “What is the meaning of this?”

The pup points at the image again, then to herself. Please, God, let him understand! The bald man furrows his brow, then softens his expression. “Are you telling me that all this time, you’ve actually been a lass?”, he asks. 

She nods vigorously. Yes, that’s it exactly. Does that mean he gets it? Her tail has already begun to wag. 

Uncle Wallace straightens up and smiles. “Well then. Do you still want to be called ‘Stone’? Or have you got a different name in mind?” 

She quickly looks around the room, and points her index finger in the air as she spots a pen and notepad. She grabs both objects and scribbles down a name: Storie. 

“Storie, eh? Well, I suppose it does suit you. What with you always writing your little stories and scripts and so on.”

The little pup gazes up at her beloved uncle. He understands. No, he doesn’t just understand. He tolerates. He embraces. He loves. Storie feels a lump pushing at the back of her throat, as her vision begins blurring with tears. 

Wallace takes notice. “What’s with the waterworks, Lass?”

Lass. Yes, she’s a lass! A girl! Sniffling, Storie attempts to furiously blink the tears back, looking sheepishly at the ground. 

Wallace smirks at her. “Ohhh, c’mere you!” In a swift motion, he picks her up and holds her against him with one hand, and playfully tickles her belly with the other. 

Her giggles are inaudible to him. The puppy’s legs start kicking furiously, joining her tail in an ecstatic display of jubilee. Hey, stop that! Her tiny paw gently shoves his torturous fingers away. 

Her uncle chuckles. “So, did you want me to tell your mum and dad? Or your siblings?”

Gasping, Storie’s eyes go wide as she anxiously shakes her head. No, she’s not ready for that! He was only the first step. The others still need a truckload of mental preparation. 

“You sure? It might make things easier for you. Might make you feel better”. 

She nods. It’s too scary at the moment. “Right, then. It’s our secret, for now. Honestly, Storie, I don’t know what got you all worked up over this. You know I will always love you. No matter what.” 

He gradually lifts her until they’re at eye level. He tenderly rubs his nose against hers, then presses a kiss to her forehead. I love you, too. This is one of those times when she wishes he could hear her speak to him. 

Chuckling, Uncle Wallace gently sets her down on the ground.

 “I’m glad you told me this.” He starts making his way back to the living room, then pauses, turning around. “I don’t suppose you’d like to share some cheese with me?”

Upon hearing the mention of their shared favourite treat, Storie’s ears perk up in sync with a grumble that escapes her stomach. The young poogle bounds eagerly after the man to his original spot on the chair in the living room, where cheese, crackers, and hot tea are waiting. 

Wallace settles down, then pats his knee, indicating that he wants her to join him. The pup leaps into his awaiting lap, and nestles into his leg with a contented sigh. Her uncle picks up a slice of Wensleydale, which she nips from his fingers and gobbles down enthusiastically. 

“Whoa, steady on there, Lass!”, Wallace exclaims in response to her greediness. 

Lass. There’s that word again. Storie’s tail continues to wag as she lowers her head, and softly nuzzles her cheek into her uncle’s knee. Unlike the previous term of endearment, this word doesn’t make her feel as if she’s being consumed by a predator. Instead, it feels like she’s in a warm bubble bath, with the sweet scent of peaches filling her nostrils. Was this the “gender euphoria” everyone was talking about? 

The End

[aylen-san]

Whisper of the wind

One day, on an especially warm and clear day, they decided to go into the forest to find a place for new meditation. Nature greeted them with its greenery and fragrances, and Elwing felt her soul singing with joy. She watched Macalaurë, who was enthusiastically studying every plant and tree, and realized that in his company, she found her own solace.

Macalaurë was curious to learn about the Sindar's connection to nature. He found a new source of inspiration in it and tormented Eönwë with new songs. The Maia was often surprised by the new melodies Macalaurë brought home. Maglor would stand on his toes and, laughing, say:

"Listen, Eönwë, I composed another song! You must hear it!" Eönwë, despite his busy schedule, always found time to listen to his young protégé. Although now Manwë gave him more free time since the Maia was engaged in raising the elf child.

The melodies that now filled their home became an integral part of their daily life. In these sounds of nature, one could hear everything: from the soft whisper of the forest to the quiet crackling of logs in the fireplace, from the songs of birds outside the window to the rustling of leaves that the wind brought into the house when the veranda door was accidentally left ajar. The splash of sea waves rolling on the distant shore intertwined in this musical pattern, creating the feeling that the house stood not on solid ground but on the very edge of an eternal ocean. These melodies filled the house with coziness, making it a true refuge from the hustle and bustle of the outside world.

Eönwë, settled in his favorite chair by the window where he often read or simply gazed into the distance, listened to these melodies with admiration. On the table next to him was a cup of hot herbal tea and a plate with leftover slices of fresh bread and pieces of cheese from dinner. He marveled at how deeply Macalaurë immersed himself in this new world of sounds, creating something truly amazing. Whether in his past life or in this one, Kanafinwë created music that took one's breath away.

One evening, as the sun was already setting, painting their small kitchen in warm shades of gold and orange, and the shadows of the trees outside the window began to lengthen, Macalaurë sat by the fireplace, where logs quietly crackled. An unfinished book lay on the table, and a forgotten cloak hung on a chair by the wall. Macalaurë took in his hands an old lute, which he cared for with love, and began to perform a new song, which he called "Whisper of the Forest." His voice was soft and gentle, and the melody was smooth and mesmerizing, like butterflies dancing in the air under the rays of the evening sun.

Eönwë, sitting nearby, closed his eyes, feeling everything around him come to life under the sounds of this music. The house, which seemed quiet and peaceful, suddenly filled with the feeling that the forest itself had come to visit them, filling the rooms with its magic. The shadows on the walls began to play, resembling the silhouettes of trees swaying in the wind, and the air was filled with a faint scent of pine and freshly cut flowers, which stood in a vase on the kitchen table. This moment was so full of power and beauty that it seemed time had stopped, allowing them to savor it to the fullest, without rushing anywhere. After the song, Eönwë looked at Macalaurë with pride and love.

"You are becoming a great musician, Macalaurë. Your songs now carry not only beauty but also the wisdom of nature."

***

One evening, after another lesson, Elwing and Macalaurë sat by the campfire. The fire crackled softly, lighting their faces with a warm glow. The sounds of the night forest surrounded them, creating an atmosphere of coziness and calm. Elwing suddenly smiled, looking at her student.

"You have truly changed, Macalaurë," she said, her voice filled with warmth. "I see that you sincerely strive for goodness. It's a shame that things turned out the way they did in the past. Maybe I should have tried to listen to you all. But how could I? At that time, I couldn't even think about it. The Silmaril was the only thing left of Doriath and my family. I could spend hours just looking at its light. You would know… sometimes it seemed that the Silmaril was the only thing that mattered. Even Elrond and Elros didn't mean as much as that cursed stone."

Her words hung in the air like a distant echo of times gone by, in which their lives intertwined so closely, but so tragically. Macalaurë was silent, lost in his thoughts, and only the quiet crackling of the fire broke the heavy silence. He knew that words could not bring back what was lost or erase the mistakes made, but he still sought comfort in her forgiveness, as if hoping that it could at least slightly ease the burden on his soul.

"Lady Elwing, I cannot bring back what was lost," he quietly said, his voice trembling. "But I can try to right my wrongs and learn to live anew."

Elwing looked at him closely, her eyes softening. She saw before her not an enemy, but a young elf. Her own heart was full of scars, but perhaps their shared pain could become a bridge to mutual understanding.

"You are right, Macalaurë," she said softly. "The past cannot be changed, but we can learn from our mistakes and move forward. We have both endured much suffering, and perhaps the time has come to heal our wounds together."

She extended her hand to him, and after a moment's hesitation, he accepted her gesture. In that moment, a new connection was established between them—not just teacher and student, but two beings seeking peace.

"I'm glad I met you," he said quietly.

"You have helped me too, Macalaurë," she admitted. "You reminded me of the importance of forgiveness and compassion. The scars of the past may never fully heal, but I am tired of hating."

They sat in silence, savoring the moment. The fire continued to crackle, and the night enveloped them with its soft blanket. In this small world created by the two of them, they found comfort and strength for new beginnings.

Perhaps Elwing no longer needed to abduct anyone, not even little Maglor, reborn in Valinor. How could she have been so wrong? Did she hope that by capturing him, she could find a friend, heal her wounds, find peace? Seek revenge? Now that thought brought her a bitter smile and piercing pain. How foolish, how insanely selfish! Would she have been any better than those Maedhros and Maglor became in their past lives, destroying everything, capturing the young elfling? This thought weighed on her heart like the burden of lost time.

Elwing suddenly realized that if she had decided to do it, her act would have become another tragedy, one that Eärendil and Elrond might never forgive her for. After all, they knew the cost of such sacrifices, knew how painful it was to lose those you love. Why then did she ever think that this mad plan could bring them even a drop of joy? Perhaps she was blinded by her sorrow, lost in memories of the past, where she sought solace in destruction instead of seeking strength in creation. Her heart tore apart from this realization, as well as from the fact that past dreams now seemed so mistaken and dangerous. Now Elwing feared that if Macalaurë learned of her plan, she would lose her newly found friend, losing the trust of this young, reborn soul.

[gwenbrightly]

(Re)Building the Future Chapter 8

“If I were an animatronic wolf with a horribly mangled kid, where would I go?” Gregory muses (ignoring the weird look the others give him for his graphic choice in words). He, Freddy, and Vanessa have arrived back in Roxy Raceway in record time, but there is no sign of Roxy or Cassie. Unless you count the occasional splatters of blood they keep finding, that is. Which tells them a lot while also telling them absolutely nothing.

“Roxanne is very smart,” Freddy says, “I am sure she will have found a first aid station and patched Cassie up by now.”

They locate the nearest first aid station and soon discover what Roxy has clearly already realized. It is completely empty of supplies. And so are all the others, upon further exploration.

“Wow. I guess Fazbear entertainment doesn’t care if people get hurt and die in here,” Gregory comments, kicking an empty cardboard box. When are they gonna find something that’s actually helpful? Cassie could be dead by now! (If the elevator didn’t kill her on impact). If they don’t find her in time, that just proves he’s a crappy friend.

“To be fair, no one is really supposed to be hanging around this place right now,” Vanessa points out, but it’s obvious she’s just as concerned by their lack of progress as he is.

“Perhaps she-” whatever Freddy is about to suggest is cut off by a crash somewhere nearby.

“Did anyone else hear that?” Gregory asks. Freddy and Vanessa nod. “Maybe it’s Roxy! We should totally check it out.”

She’ll be so distracted by Cassie being hurt that she’ll completely forget to hate me, Gregory tells himself. No need to worry about anything but the most important stuff. Which is Cassie not dying, obviously. (No matter how intimidating angry animatronics are)

As with many other things so far today, the crashing sound turns out to be a bit of a red herring. Nobody should be surprised to see Chica digging around in a garbage can. It’s one of her defining behaviors, after all. But to be honest, they’d kinda forgotten about her after not running into her at all on their way to the sinkhole.

“Chica?” Freddy says when they find the source of the noise. He’s not sure why it didn’t occur to him to seek her out sooner. Her caring nature will be a huge help, he can feel it!

“Um… hi?” Chica replies, looking a little unsure.

“You can talk?!” Gregory exclaims, partially hiding behind Freddy in case she decides to enact her revenge for that time he put her through a garbage compactor. And stole her voice box to get into restricted areas because Freddy’s lack of upgrades was lame. She looks way worse now, though. He has to resist the urge to puke at the sight of the rotten… cheese? And other bits of garbage caking her endoskeleton.

“Wait! I can!” Chica agrees, acting as though she’s only just noticed this, “Huh. That’s new. My new friend must have helped me with that! Ohmygosh, it has been so quiet and boring not being able to say anything! Not that there’s anyone to say things to, but still!”

“New friend?” Vanessa repeats. She ignores Chica’s rambling. “Did your new friend happen to be a little girl?”

“Yeah! I think so! It was pretty hard to tell the last time I saw her, let me tell ya. She looked kinda… broken.”

“Please tell me you saw where Roxy took her,” Gregory begs. Chica doesn’t seem interested in hurting him, so it’s probably safe(ish) to ask her for help.

Chica nods, which causes one of her eyes to jiggle unnaturally. Freaky.

“I did! I can totally show you if you want me to!”

“That would be great,” Vanessa tells her.

“Umm… this way! They went this way not too long ago! Follow me!” The animatronic speeds off through the maze of construction equipment that leads to what’s left of the main atrium. It’s dark and gloomy without the giant glowing holograms of Freddy and the rest of the Glamrocks that can usually be seen from pretty much anywhere in the room. The stage is completely blocked off by bright orange safety barriers, now, and half filled shipping crates and piles of debris make it just as difficult to navigate as everywhere else they’ve been. The stairs are missing steps. They remind Gregory of something out of one of those parkour challenge video where someone is always reading some over dramatic internet post in the background. The shutters for El Chip look like someone tried to drive a go cart through them… which is altogether possible, given some of the other crazy stuff that’s happened here. Nothing seems to have come out of the earthquake in one piece. Some of the graffiti is pretty impressive, though. Gregory is tempted to ask if Vanessa has any spray paint in that backpack of hers, but right now probably isn’t the best time for that.

They make it about halfway across the room before things start to get weird. Chica keeps making sharp turns and backtracking through the toughest areas. They lose sight of the darn chicken and spend upwards of half an hour searching before they finally spot her in the Cupcake Shoppe (of course). Is she leading them into a trap? Does she actually know where she’s going? Gregory isn’t sure which is more likely, but he’s beginning to get suspicious that something isn’t right.

“Sooo… uh, Chica, where exactly did Roxy and Cassie go?” Gregory asks when they find her again. Chica ignores him and continues weaving between pieces of abandoned baking equipment. Well, that’s just rude, Gregory thinks. She seemed so sweet and thoughtful earlier!

“Hey! Wait up!” Gregory shouts, out of breath. Man, he really needs to start exercising more and sitting around playing video games less… the stupid chicken speeds up. It’s like she doesn’t want them to catch up with her.

“Is everything alright, Chica?” Freddy calls after her. He stops trying to weave his way between objects delicately and shoves a rolling cart out of the way so he can get to her more quickly. She is not acting like herself. What if she hurts herself again?

“Will you quit it?!” Chica snaps, finally turning around.

“Quit what?” Freddy asks, confused. What have they done to offend his friend so deeply?

“Following me! I don’t even know you!” She exclaims.

“But… we are your friends…” Freddy protests. This is wrong, all wrong.

““Friends,” Chica repeats. “I don’t have any friends. Unless you count that guy,” she jerks her head towards the giant Mr, Cupcake, whose eyes glow ominously. Gregory doesn’t understand what she sees in the creepy thing. He’s pretty sure it’s not even sentient enough to hold a conversation with.

“Chica…” Freddy isn’t sure what to say to that.

“You said you knew where Cassie and Roxy were!” Gregory butts in. Involving the dumb chicken has been nothing but a waste of time.

“Cassie and Roxy.? Hm…” Chica thinks for a moment, “Cassie and Roxy! They went this way!” She points in a direction that is vaguely southeast.

“How do we know you’re telling the truth?” Gregory demands to know. After all, she told them the same thing earlier and then led them on a wild goose (or chicken) chase.

“I…” Chica trails off.

“If this is a joke, it’s not funny! Someone could die because of you!”

“It’s not. I know it’s not funny. I am so, so, SOO sorry!” Chica tells them, looking beyond guilty.

Freddy, Vanessa, and Gregory glance at each other. No one is quite sure what to do with her bizarre behavior.

“I, um, might kinda sorta have… short term memory confusion?” She continues.

“Don’t you mean short term memory loss?” Gregory corrects. He’s 110% positive that ‘short term memory confusion’ isn’t a thing. Though, with the way that garbage compactor squashed her, he’d be surprised if she didn’t have some issues.

“That too!” Chica agrees.

“You’ve been having trouble with your memory?” Vanessa asks, feeling a little guilty. Why didn’t she think to demand that the techs try to repair the Glamrocks before everything went to heck and Corporate decided to abandon the Pizzaplex? If Chica is this bad off, she dreads seeing what the others are like.

“Yup! Sometimes those darn memories just go poof!” Chica waves exaggeratedly.

“That sounds dreadful,” Freddy comments. His poor friend.

“It sure is!” Chica announces before a look of confusion crosses her face. “Anywho - wait, what were we talking about, again?”

“Seriously?” Gregory facepalms. This is just sad. Vanessa frowns at him in disapproval, no doubt thinking he isn’t helping the situation - which, to be fair, he isn’t.

“You were just telling us about your short term memory loss,” she reminds Chica with way more patience than Gregory would be able to manage.

“Riiiight!”

“As much as I hate to say it,” Gregory turns to Freddy and whispers, “I don’t think Chica is gonna be much help with finding Roxy and Cassie.”

“I don’t know who that is, but you’re probably right,” Chica agrees, also whispering. She’s still not really sure what’s going on, but she likes feeling included.

“Sorry, Chica,” Vanessa says, but the chicken doesn’t seem to mind.

“I have been thinking about that and am wondering if, perhaps, Roxy traveled to the Superstar Daycare after Chica lost track of her,” Freddy tells them, changing the subject to avoid embarrassing Chica further. While she is welcome to join them on their venture, he knows the others are right. It would be difficult to get a coherent or accurate answer from her about where the pair were headed when she last saw them.

“The daycare? Why?” Gregory questions. He gives the bear a weird look. He’s still a little unnerved by both Sun and Moon after everything he’s been through.

“Well, as he works with the youngest children in the facility, the Daycare Attendant has more extensive first aid programming than the rest of the Glamrock animatronics,” Freddy explains, “it makes sense that Roxy would seek his guidance.”

“Not to mention the daycare is on the southeast side of the Pizzaplex, which seemed like the same direction Chica thought they were going,” Vanessa adds in agreement.

“I guess that makes sense,” Gregory decides, although the daycare is on his list of places he’d rather not revisit. Oh, well. He’s visited a lot of other places on that list today already. What’s one more?

“It is settled, then. We will go to Superstar Daycare and see if they are there,” Freddy announces. It is time to begin their journey once again.

[restorativemeal]

Menu Ten

Menu Ten from Rowan Bishop and Sue Carruthers' "The Vegetarian Adventure Cookbook"

Mexican Frijoles: pinto beans, oil, onion, garlic, dried chilli, coriander, tumeric, capsicum, tin tomatoes with juice, oregano, dried basil, tomato puree, salt and pepper. 

Tortillas: semolina, wholemeal flour, salt, warm water, oil. 

Tapas: cheddar cheese, cos lettuce, carrot, kewpie mayonnaise, sour cream, tomato, avocado, olives, Bishop and Carruthers’ guacamole. 

Chilli Fondue: oil, onion, dried chilli, capsicum, tinned whole tomatoes with juice, salt and pepper, prepared mustard, beer, cheddar cheese, sour cream.

Menu Ten and Week Ten. It felt easy to source significance this week, given it was the final week of my very own early twenties and the 10th week of this journey. Equally, this monumentalism brought about so much pressure in my private life that I once again thought very little about the food and the menu itself. I assume Bishop and Carruthers intended for Menu Ten to be lighthearted and easy and it was, my week just wasn’t. I had wanted during this week to live again like I had in the best times of my early twenties. I have a suspicion now that this was never going to be possible. Bishop and Carruthers had another Mexican evening lined up for Wednesday, corn tortillas and spicy pinto beans. I thought maybe this repetition would translate in some way. 

Imagery of preperation.

On Monday morning I was downtrodden still, by the questions that remained surrounding my health. At lunchtime I got my answers. Inside the Bulk Store, a boy with a buzzcut sat minding the till, maybe he noticed when I ran outside to pick up the phone. The results were overwhelmingly positive, with a prescription waiting for me at the pharmacy far away from where I was. I walked back into the Bulk Store ecstatic. I had received a Chinese love charm from my coworker that day. I wondered if it had worked already when the boy with the buzzcut told me there were no dry pinto beans anywhere because of a worldwide drought, but I could buy them canned. Buying them canned worked in my favour, it took a three day preparation period down to cooking everything the night of the dinner party.

Frijole and big produce.

Setting the table fell off the wagon on Wednesday evening, tension in the flat meant the dishwasher hadn’t been put on the night before, it ran while I cooked and I worried there wouldn’t be plates to eat off. The Mexican Frijoles had a well written recipe, a side note suggested serving with serviettes but I didn’t, even though I have provided serviettes consistently since Week Three. My Tortillas were put together with ease as well, for the second week in a row I was substituting cornmeal for semolina, because Google said it was okay. The blender got its most use ever this week, I blended onion and tomato to go in the guacamole, as Bishop and Carruthers had instructed, it gave the guac an ugly consistency. The avocados I’ve been buying from my favourite fruit and veggie store are never good, but I buy them anyway, which I tend to do with a lot of things. The onion and capsicum for Chilli Fondue was supposed to be blended as well, though I attempted to do this while my guests were talking, the blender whirred but nothing blended. 

Bishop and Carruthers' own guacamole and corn tortillas.

Dinner was served to five usual guests and two new guests. Both of them leaving the country in the coming weeks, a reminder of why I had taken this on. A reminder also of why I could never recreate my early twenties. I missed the photos on my phone. I thought I lost just four things in my 23rd year, but on Sunday my toenail fell off. How can a blog post do justice to the end of an era? 

Menu Ten and the last week of my early twenties...

[the-firebird69]

Donald and Melania Trump launch a pair of meme coins ahead of inauguration, raising serious ethics concerns https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/20/tech/meme-coins-donald-melania-trump-intl-hnk/index.html

It is not legal to have a second set of currency in the United States at all what they're doing is totally illegal and she knows it's illegal sort of what he says is he makes it seem like he's in control and he's not anymore and this is illegal currency and the treasury came the rest of you and that's cheese man and he wants to and he's resting people today is areesting them for this

You and your people Malena are on the line you're out of line and your own people are arresting you and yours and you know that you're harassing our son and you want free stuff and it doesn't work anymore and usually we keep a suit like that but he says is put the better use and it is and what you're saying is you're going to your husband's funeral and it is it's true he shouldn't have done it. He doesn't like you doesn't want to do stuff with you doesn't want to run around like a mental patient and it doesn't find it amusing you do and you're very simple and should not be anywhere near the office of the President and you shouldn't be near our son and he doesn't like people who don't communicate effectively or clearly or a way it's not hostile is a bitter bitter enemy of people who are like you because you're mean to him I don't know if you want to compare him to an animal I mean why would you do that since you're acting like an animal all the time perhaps yeah it's like a big cat and you're pissing him off pissing him off and eventually he's going to bite your head off and you don't understand that because you're slow so he doesn't like the ACT and you're doing the act because you're afraid and you should be afraid you've made one hell of a freaking enemy call me half Tommy f and that's the worst the only other enemies you made or the Mac proper I guess that's much worse and really everybody's ready to be but you're just inciting them and really you made an enemy out of trump and you don't realize it he saw it and he's going to go after you he says and you're the second lady in Norman Bates hotel and you're very dead yeah very very dead and Sherry is being held by Trump and she's freed and she comes to Scarlet witch if she dies in battle and our son did find it and she still has power but really that's disgusting this guy of yours is afraid of loser and a pig and he's going to get killed and people see weird when and it's his own son and that's a heinous loser thing to do and they're saying that he will harm us as an analogy when he's controlled and looks like a Mac proper general with the energy source and it's because of what Trump is trying to do use up the oil and people won't have a power source and it'll be forced to use lithium batteries and it doesn't look like it's going to happen and Trump is trying to jam everything through all at once people want them out even the Mac proper are attacking him and his plans are not going to do anything he's way too brutish I mean he is way out there screaming and stuff screaming the max stuff and it is funny cuz you're really this retarded Man Billy Hicks running around screaming and screaming Stan is screaming and yeah you can't handle the new lobe so that's what that is Sherry probably has Uma Thurman in front and we think so and you people are discussing them from the start and you can't talk to people like you you're sitting here talking kissing yourselves off and feeling like you want something it's horrible you're so dumb but now we're going to go into what's happening now their forces at Trump's in the Midwest and middle areas where he is going to try and attack the pseudo empire and he is being wiped out and they're going to keep doing it he's getting wiped out in the rings and then Everglades and he is not going to come back his forces are going to diminish today we think he has we know he has about 18% roughly of the general population it's still kind of number most of it is isolated in the separated cities and Islands but we think that large percentage of them will die today alone 3% and will continue that way throughout the week yeah that's a huge number and big ships are coming in from the empire and different areas foreigners and we're coming in too with big ships and we'll probably pull Tommy f out and the Mac empire and foreigners and Trump has brought it down on them he's an idiot.

Thor Freya

Olympus

[candy-floss-crazy]

We recently added Gourmet burgers to our line up of catering options. On top of the usual cheeseburger, and bacon etc, we added some options a little more quirky. Things such as nacho's, sushi and such like. However the burgers listed here are way beyond what we consider quirky and definitely venture inot the weird burgers catagory.. 1 The Cronut Burger A fusion of sweet and savoury this one. A beef patty with cheese, between the cheeks of a sugary doughnut. A Canadian invention, between a pastry shop Le Dolci, and Epic Burger and Waffles for the Canadian National Exhibition. This one looks like it could be tasty, however it didn't have a happy ending. One of the ingredients sourced for the burger, maple jam, was contaminated with staphylococcus aureus causing 150 people at the show to fall ill. Still looks tasty, but we'd go light on the jam. 2 The Quadruple Bypass Burger A 9982 calorie bohemoth, even by American standards. Two pound of beef, twenty rashers of bacon, eight cheese slices, a whole tomato and half an onion, in a bum coated with lard. It is served at the heart attack grill founded in 2005 in Tempe Arizona. Everything they do is along the same theme. With flatliner fries, double and triple bypass burgers for those who can't face this one, and bigger burgers up to octuple bypass. They even have cigarettes and high fat shakes on the menu. The restaurant has a hospital theme, with doctors taking the order and nurses waiting the tables. Sexily dressed nurses at that. It's as if someone set out to be as controversial as possible. 3 Yorkshire Pudding Burger A fusion of traditional Sunday roast with the fast food convenience of a burger. This one is a giant Yorkshire pud with a burger inside. For those who don't know the Yorkshire pudding isn't actually a pudding. It is served most often as a constituent of a typical Sunday dinner. However it also works well as a starter with onion gravy. The supersized version here is 5000 calories. 4 Fried Frog Black Burger No matter how crazy you can think of making something. The Japanese are guaranteed to out crazy you. They make some really weird burgers. This time it is the Orbi Yokohama museum, who offer up this culinary masterpiece. A full fried frog burger. They aren't content with just the out there filling. They also add in a bun made from bamboo charcoal that is jet black. 5 Russia Rat Burger Take a look at the burger above, quite innocuous isn't it? Something you would probably enjoy at many a typical burger joint. Only it isn't. It's a rat burger. Well, not your usual Rattus rattus that you don't want to see anywhere near a restaurant. But a Coypu, or 'River Rat'. The animal breeds at a super fast rate, making it ideal as a food crop. A case of if you can't beat them eat them. A specialty of a Russian chef at a high end eterie in Moscow. 6 Wimpy's Braille Burger In the days when I was a kid, before the all conquering McDonalds swept the nation. Wimpy was THE burger joint. We spent may a happy time in Wimpy's around the country. Truth be told, I think their quarterpounders were far better than the McD equivalent. This burger was part of an experiential marketing campaign to promote it's new braille menu in South Africa. Reaching over 800,000 blind people across the nation with their braille embossed burgers. 7 Whole Damn Farm Burger If you are the sort of person who can't make their mind up over beef or chicken. Then this one is for you. Made from beed, chicken, ham, pork and bacon. About the calorie loading of four big Macs, this is perfect for the indecisive. From Manchester's Splendid Kitchen, a sadly now defunct American style eatery. 8 Hellfire Burger This is one hot burger. By hot, we don't mean as in fashion, or as in very attractive. We mean hot! Measuring over 1 million on the Scoville heat scale. For comparison, some law enforcement pepper sprays can be quite effective at half that. Topped by six different chillies, and smothered in hot sauce, you not only have to be over 18, but also need to sign a medical waiver before they will serve it to you. The whole thing is served to you on fire. A creation of the Xtreme Smokehouse and Grill in Washington Iowa. 9 Southern Comfort Stuffed Burger Slathered with booze spiked sauce. The Southern Comfort is stuffed with mac and cheese wrapped in bacon, then topped with Southern Heat potato chips. Its the Southern Comfort and Peach infused BBq sauce that gives it the special tang. A product of the Nook in Atalanta. 10 Waffle Burger Available from lots of places, this is another fusion of sweet and savoury. Fluffy Belgian waffle goodness, surrounding a beef patty, along with egg and bacon. The perfect breakfast to start the day. 11 Wrapped Pizza Burger A bacon cheeseburger wrapped in a pepperoni pizza. 1360 calories of succulent burger heaven. This frankenburger was a product of Boston's Restaurant and Sports Bar. Available at more than 40 US restaurants and it's Canadian franchise. Although not the healthiest of burgers it still comes nowhere near the big guys records like the Heart Attack Grill, they are some seriously weird burgers. 12 Arby's Meat Mountain Originally created as a poster to advertise the fact that the restaurant sold more than beef. It was soon being requested by it's customers and ended up being a firm favourite on the menu. Consisting of two chicken burgers, three strips of bacon, a slice of swiss and cheddar cheeses, roast turkey, ham, corned beef, roast beef, brisket and Angus steak. 13 Super Duper Bacon Burger What can be said about this monstrosity. It's bacon, served with bacon, topped by bacon, with a bacon garnish. I suppose if you like bacon then this is heaven, if you don't then you've ordered the wrong meal. Michigan's Tony's I-75 Restaurant is definitely a destination for pork lovers. 14 Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger If you are going to mix burgers with a dessert you might as well make it with one of your favourites. Two Krispy Kreme doughnuts, three beef patties and three slices of cheese. Nuff said. 15 The Grilled Cheese Burger Take a grilled cheese sandwich. well, take two of them in fact. Place your burger between them and you have a whole new class of frankenburger. Coming from an American chain (where else), Friendly's on the East coast. 16 Deep Fried Double Twinky Burger Whilst you can rely on the Japanese to come up with the craziest concoctions. You can rely on the Americans to come up with stuff designed to clog your arteries. Take a pork belly patty, with cheese and bacon and sandwich it between two deep fried twinkies and you have another masterpiece from Philadelphia's PYT. Which is almost as weird as 17 Spaghetti Burger This, their spaghetti burger. Slathered in marinara sauce, with a mozzarella stuffed meatball patty, red sauce, parmesan flakes and spaghetti in a garlic butter bun. This looks like a weird burger 18 Beer Batter Burger From Denny's Beer Barrel Pub in Pennsylvania. A battered burger with all the trimmings. Oh and the batter is made with beer for extra taste. Also available from them as a 25lb challenge burger for two. 19 Alphabet Burger This sandwich contains 26 toppings, each one starting with a different letter of the alphabet. - Avocado - Bacon - Cheese - Doritos - Egg - Fish sticks - Garlic bread - Ham - Italian sausage patty - Jalapeño peppers - Krispy Kreme doughnut - Lettuce - Macaroni and cheese - Noodles - Onion rings - Pepperoni - Queso blanco dip - Ramen noodles - Spinach - Turkey burger - Usingers bratwurst - Veal Parmesan - Waffle - Xylocarp (coconut) - Yams - Zucchini I don't know what to say. I am stunned, I know how the prophets felt when they saw the burning bush, or the first pot noodle was invented. The W should stand for weird burgers. 20 Hot Fudge Sundae Burger I don't know if it is a symptom of the modern world, this rush to get your meal out of the way as soon as possible. But this is another stomach churning attempt to fuse mains with dessert. Take a perfectly good beef burger and add vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce. Take a bow McGuires Irish Pub of Pensacola. 21 White Trash Burger Named after the outlets signature dips called white trash. This includes cheese, green chillies, jalapenos, diced tomatoes, diced onions and tortilla chips, with a stack of beer battered onion rings. If you want one then you need to head over to the Bukowski Tavern in boston. 22 Bacon Wrapped Macaroni and Cheese Bun Burger I'm not sure if this is a burger, or an abstract artwork. Mac and cheese wrapped in strips of bacon and used as the bun for a cheeseburger. Not as outlandish or vomit inducing as some on the this list, I could probably eat this. 23 Slaters Merica Burger Oh Kay, a third of a pound of ground bacon made into a patty, bacon american cheese, egg, thick cut bacon and bacon island dressing on a bacon pretzel bun. Basically you need to like bacon to eat this one. It was reportedly too salty to finish which is saying something when many a burger on this list has a couple of grams or more of salt without any reports of them being salty. 24 The Mario Burger A little bit of green dye, some circles of cheese and you have a gamers treat. 25 The Fat Sandwich Burger This one looks like a complete meal in a bun. I am surprised that they haven't stuck a doughnut or a dollop of ice cream in to round it off. From the Fat Sandwich Company in Illinois Candy Floss Crazy Gourmet Burgers 1 Person 2 Burgers 2 Not really part of the list, our burgers are relatively sane. If you want something on the list I am sure our catering team can put it together for you, but if what you want is a range of delicious non heart attack inducing gourmet burgers for your wedding, party or event. Then check out our burger service. Oh and the picture above is actually two burgers, he was a greedy sod. Have them served from one of our quirky food trucks for an extra twist. Read the full article

[amburglr]

I looked at that picture and my first thought was "Where in the ancient world would this even be a possible meal. So naturally the brainworms got to me and an hour later I am ready to share my findings.

The thing that's going to narrow this down, if not torpedo this whole investigation entirely, are the avocados and strawberries. I'm not a farmer but they don't seem like they'd be anywhere near each other.

Okay so "Chile" jumped out at me immediately. It's South America and not Central, but it's my best bet so far so it's time to look up Avocados in Chile.

Luckily there's an academic journal on The History and Development of the Avocado in Chile

Okay so 1600s isn't ancient or anything but sure I'll call that ancestral

We don't seem to have to worry about a timeframe for Chilean strawberries because every source I've seen implies that its been there as long as people can remember.

I was also concerned about the eggs, thinking I'd have to have some bootjank random bird egg as a replacement but it turns out chickens are fuckin everywhere so its fine. Specifically the Araucana chicken, which was there and integrated into Chilean daily life before the Spaniards ever got there.

I had no idea what the white shit there was. Everyone seems confident that its some sort of cheese so we'll go with that.

That would unfortunately bump up the earliest window to around 1750, which is when Chanco cheese was first created. but at this point I'll take what I can get.

Behold, a very specific Chilean breakfast circa 1750

this meal would piss me off

[dwestfieldblog]

A PARTISAN APART

March...or die. Out of bed, scrambled eggs with crushed oat biscuits and cottage cheese, milk with chia seeds and a green tea. Thirty mins of basic exercise, then up to the shops for supplies… see newspapers with headlines such as ‘NATO warns of war with Russia in the next 20 years’. A cold war, leading to a nuclear winter? Depends on how long Vladimir the Bald lives. The way things are at the moment, WW3 could start in the next 20 months, but should he accidently fall from a window, poisoned for good measure or have his plane explode, peace in our time might be possible. Ha. As long as the Orange Reptile doesn’t win.

Diabetes type 2…so onto rabbit food and 10,000 steps a day regardless of weather. Walking is free and obviously I won’t be going anywhere near a gym. After my mother passed this time last year, I took refuge in the comfort of nightly alcohol, watching films and reading. Kept myself almost sane by staying busy gardening, emptying the house and taking stuff to charity shops. Some non-cathartic writing. No chocolate or pizza for 6 weeks and I am ready to kill the entire world. Let’s see if I can finish this without a stroke or heart attack.

Your country still needs you as cannon fodder…there is talk here (England) of reinstating conscription… (Good luck trying to get the teens away from Tik Tok addiction). Or else National Service…Instructing the ‘lazy and feral youth of today’ skills in weapons training and survival would be a fine idea. A sense of purpose and value, get their teamwork and hunter instincts honed in order to die for posh donkeys.…The Tories have been laying waste to our armed forces for a very long time (financially committed to the scrap metal Trident missiles, which will be deeply outdated by the time of service). So, a little late to build up an army, unless we do actually have twenty years. I don’t.

(A week after writing that, the UK test fired a Trident which crash landed close to the submarine from where it came.) Russia and China can seemingly disrupt our infrastructure with ease, so not sure what use there is for actual soldiers unless we hurry the SAS training programmes along. Perhaps they will be mostly needed to control the frightened population under martial law. I would certainly fight and die for those for whom I care, but not for a leader like the despicable Boris Johnson. I would be a partisan apart. Probably survive a week.

Speaking of that blathering blond dog egg, I see that not only does he fully endorse Trump but has written that his return to the presidency would be ‘a big win for the world’ and indeed just ‘what the world needs’. Imagine just how far up yourself you need to be to think this bollocks and say it in public. An avaricious sycophant pound shop version of the orange reptile, both believing that anal vanity and bluster are enough to enforce their mutant rape upon the world. Compare this with the cold and careful step by step planning of Russia and China over the last few decades, now at stage 4 of a five-stage cancer. Since Merkl left, there seems to be nobody in Europe with any balls. ‘I would encourage them (the Russians) to do whatever the hell they want’. Said Trump about NATO countries recently. Imagine the line I want to write now.

A plethora of important global elections take place this year, which will most likely immediately determine the course of hundreds of millions of lives…and millions of dupes will believe deepfakes and misinformation. Rubes, hungry for the next conspiracy to explain why things are becoming ever more distorted and insane, blaming it on the wrong groups and sources, ever more scared and angrier. A UK conspiracy theory newspaper ‘The Light’ plays host to (among other similar types) Alpha Men Assemble (a Nazi band of incels) and the usual racists ranting about nanobots in vaccines and how doctors should be executed. Yes really. Morons funded also as usual, behind the scenes by the Kremlin to push disinformation to undermine the country they claim to love. Wide eyed in idiot faith or ranting with wild righteousness… ‘How could they?’ ‘Why are they…?’ Why ask? Not much is confusing about greed and desire for power.

‘Community notes’ on twitter…the very artificially intelligent Sunak praised the almost virtually real Elon Musk for the idea that tweets could be commented on as ‘the wisdom of the crowds’. ARF. Now both men are unhappy at the factual corrections various denizens of X are making on their posts. Aww, diddums. The exciting journey of ‘transforming the global town square’ (uuuf) continues apace with visons of honest and accurate information for the masses. ‘See dissimilar posts’, ha ha. Musk said last month that his Neuralink company has implanted one of its wireless brain chips in a human. A human. This will be great news for those who are paralysed due to various conditions, to help them move again, but he has posted that the first product will be called…Telepathy. Control your devices, just by thinking. No military uses there eh?

Popular Cons…The smug and condescending Prime Minister Rishi being verbally attacked by (shorter shelf life than a lettuce) former PM Liz (say it again, 44, count them, FORTY-FOUR days in office) Truss must be like having your leg humped by a chihuahua, slightly adorable but pathetic and irritating. She sanctimoniously nagged him for not dealing with ‘left-wing extremists’… of which there are obviously hundreds of thousands in this verdant and septic isle. Seen any rabid Marxist-Leninists recently, outside of revolutionary student common rooms in university? (Reminds me of the Communist Reform Action Party, started by a friend as a joke in high school…he is now a bald lawyer apparently.) Liz Truss is a member of the Popular Conservatism movement. That’s right, literally. Popular. Featuring an utterly reprehensible bunch including Rees Mogg. Pop Con. Indeed. A group for whom fascism isn’t right wing enough. The absolute sewerage of the conservative party.

She recently attended a CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) gathering in America (featuring bullfrog Orban’s folk and Nigel Farage) with the ever-lovely legal Steve Bannon, where he praised convicted criminal racist Stephen Yaxley Lennon, sorry, geezer Tommy Robinson as a ‘hero’ and she refused to condemn the remark. Liz gave a speech saying she wasn’t to blame for the THIRTY BILLION pounds she cost Britain in her darling mini budget. No, her downfall was caused by, (drum roll and fanfare please) …the Deep State. Desperate to stay in the limelight as Trump’s English booty. Also present at the blathering of the clans was The Happiness Realisation Party, the political wing of the Happy Science cult…They agree with Putin’s invasion of the Ukraine and identify as (guess what) …radical right. They believe their leader to be the incarnation of a supreme being from Venus. Verrry sane.

These types, along with Trump, Orban, Wilders etc, say they are part of the (don’t laugh) ‘anti-establishment’ rise against the shabby parties and leaders in democracies in the name of free speech…as long as it is speech with which they agree. The idiots are always the loudest on all sides, unfortunately this means they get heard more…and the ‘wisdom of the crowds’ convinces ever greedier, shallower and insane politicians that their hour has come at last. Democracies have vomited up these dregs as ‘straight talking’ maverick characters to appeal to the disenfranchised. IE, right wing white males and Karens. Give them five years in power and they will become just another establishment, but this time with their masses convinced, that in spite of worsening economic and social situations, that they are at last being spoken for by genuine representatives.

Say it again… the countries in the West are being brought down by the very nationalists who consider themselves to be ‘patriotic’, too emotionally invested to see how they are being manipulated by the East. This is being done via troll farm propaganda, encouraging crises of refugees, financing Brexit and the idea of ‘independence’ only to weaken and split unions, be it gender, the UK, Europe or NATO. Our worst attributes are being amplified and extended by enemies in order to hollow us out from the inside and by our populists in order to gain power for themselves. Hexagram 23 for the West.

Brexit has had almost no tangible benefits whatsoever for Britain, the deals made with other countries are risible (0.08 percent increase) and years on, still nothing firm in place with America or India etc. Immigration from non-European countries has vastly increased, the brain drain continues and fewer of our former allies come to study or work. The Tories have been in power for 14 years, ergo, it really is all their fault. Brexit, the endless failure of trade agreements, rising taxes, the vanishing public services, disintegration of the NHS, the deadly reaction to covid, a desire to leave the European Court of Human Rights in order to legalise the illegality of deporting immigrants to Rwanda (where their government beats to death its human rights defenders) …they are to blame. Not the homeless, the moronic woke nor the hidden rabid socialists, but the right wing, wilfully misinterpreting what democracy means.

At what point will it be truly understood that if you educate the massed populace of your country to be less than intelligent, that asking them serious questions about vital matters on which to vote will never end up with sane answers, but responses based on emotion, not understanding facts. Brexit has served only the same types that always thrive, chancers, fixers and scum. Education begins at home; however, parents are too exhausted from just trying to survive, poor diet and endless shocks from the news. Most Western copycat kids are on (anti)social media, addicted to poison, monkey see and monkey do.

Lifeless in Gaza…the death toll so far, 30,000 Palestinians dead and over 1,500 Israelis. Benny needs replacing, no dummies, that isn’t antisemitic. Pay close attention to Transnistria, Putin’s gateway back into the next occupied country.

Rational paranoia, but I keep having a feeling that the West as it is, will fall and the East who have been getting away with mass murder will control the world. The rich will just do business with each other and use all others as slaves…i.e. just like now, but far worse. When the Dreamer becomes a realist, they have temporarily lost the ability to sidestep across and reconnect. They have forgotten that daily practice is literally vital. It is very easy to be distracted by ‘normal’ life, but then daily existence becomes only that. I now seem to be undoing my self-programming and losing the discipline due to typical reactions to circumstances. Temporarily forgot what I learned and knew, which was…

… ‘it depends on which channel is tuned in…it depends on what we choose to watch!’ ‘An infinite number of channels but no set can play more than one channel at a time, so each one’s convinced it’s the only channel there is!’

‘Have you ever felt so at one with the world, with the universe, with everything that is, that you were overcome with love?’ ‘That is reality, that is the truth’

Focus up.

[hauntingthechateau]

Saturday November 4th

High of 13, rainy/cloudy. Overnight low 6.

Breakfast at 9 is going to be a challenge for me 🙃 But Free food is worth a lot. Woke up this morning, tea/showered/makeup/dressed and then got ready to head to the chateau… really feels like I’m doing everything backwards when I do it like this. Not mad about the breakfast pickings though… there were like 9 cheeses. For breakfast. !?!? Plus pastries and sliced salamis and boiled eggs from our chickens and fresh fruit!? I found out today that it’s all locally sourced from villages around the area and the bread and pastries are delivered daily EVERYDAY. EVEN SUNDAY. IN RURAL FRANCE!? A miracle. And as someone who has /opinions/ about croissants, these are REALLY GOOD.

After breakfast we got the tour of the studios. My accommodations email originally said that I would be in the chateau so I lugged my 35lb suitcase up the hill in the rain, but I then learned I would actually be in the stables. I got to see all the other studios and they look great and I can’t wait to go and visit everyone else as I get to know everyone to check up on what they’re working on. It seems like all the chateau studios have old (nonfunctional) fireplaces, which are beautiful marble things, but overall I’m glad to be in the stables. 

After the whole tour, Josh drove my suitcase down to the stables and I started to settle in. Fuck me if my studio wasn’t the very central, most perfect studio, right underneath the old clock, so fucking aesthetically pleasing. The studio is probably about 1.5 or 2x the size of my studio back home, a nice easy rectangle with high vaulted brick ceilings and the front being all beautiful old windows/doors. I started settling in before lunch (leftovers) and then we went off on our shopping trip, which made up a chunk of the day (but was worth it even just for the experience). 

We all loaded into vans, I dibs on the front of Beulah’s van and Jennifer crammed in next to me. It was incredible to see all the beautiful French countryside and small towns in the daylight, since we came in so late last night and with the storms there was no stars so moon so it’s been BLACK. Apparently it was some bomb cyclone blasting through the area that’s caused all these issues with the trains and such, and it’s looking like the whole month is going to be just gusty and cloudy and rainy which is kind of a shame. I don’t mind the general vibe, but it would be nice to have A DAY of sun at least???

Anyway, we headed to some weird garden centre/ small town canadian tire-ass place first that had an art supply section the size of a tiny art supply store. I picked up some spray paint for fun, but really I was just there for the next stop: the le’clerc! Such a weird Walmart + Costco vibe. I picked up tea and crackers and wine and scotch. I’m all good to go (and very glad to have chai for home to drink before heading to breakfast). 

Once back home (after another beautiful drive with great conversation), we unloaded into our studio to further set up/unload/settle in. I moved around furniture, unpacked everything and started to hang all my panels to make the studio feel less empty and sad. I think I need a little big more furniture or shelves to make the studio feel less barren, but I’ll work on that the next few days. So far it’s feeling nice though and I can’t believe my luck getting the exactly studio I wanted (although I know I would have made anywhere work).

At 6:15 headed up the hill for the proper Champagne welcome. Its more of a walk up that hill than I had bargained for, but honestly I’m really glad since Im not gonna be walking 2.5km to work all month (actually about 500 m to the Chateau, 200 to the Stables).  Got a nice introduction about the history of the residency as well as the chateau itself in its two iterations and it’s art collection and how much of it ended up at the Louvre (included pieces I knew well!).

Dinner was next up with a visit to the wine cave. I grabbed a bootle of vote d u rhone but they’re pricy and really next time we go into town I should buy a bunch of wine of my own. Lasagne dinner (with some nice chickpea and cucumber salads as well) and a dessert I yet again didn’t even make it to. Moved to the salon after dinner and then the speakeasy after 10pm (to keep down the noise) and just had a great time! I walked back home, called Craig from the studios and then pretty well crashed by the time I got home (minus all this journaling I just did).

The church bells always seems to be tolling when I’m coming home, which just seems so perfect.  The wind is howling something fierce tonight. My yawns are intense as I try to write all this before falling asleep, (its 1am now). Goodnight!

Xox

[rjkauffman]

On Scuba Diving

Unlike cheese, we have no equivalent to scuba diving on Foreverland, or for that matter, anywhere else I've ever been. This is because:

a) the idea of deliberately submersing yourself in an unbreathable environment is insane, and

b) the water on Foreverland is positively fetid. And that's not even the worst of it. The drinkable water supply on my planet is provided by boiling the least polluted source of water available for at least five years and then siphoning what's left through something that may look to the eyes of an earthling like the Large Hadron Collider. It is then bombarded with chemicals and lasers to help break down any particles that are hazardous to life. All of that happens before we even think about drinking it. Naturally, as a result of our rather traumatic relationship with water, it may be understandable why we wouldn't choose to wade in the stuff.

Earth, however, abounds with plentiful water sources that don't resemble fecal matter and also don't smell like fecal matter. How long this happy state of affairs continues, especially given earthlings' apparent need to add poison to every essential area of life, remains to be seen. But as I sit here today writing to you once again, dear reader, I am only too happy to take full advantage of what may turn out to be your very temporary good fortune.

So, what exactly is scuba diving and how do you go about getting started?

First, the definition. Scuba diving involves the strange earthling compulsion to submerge the self in any and indeed all water sources, no matter how large, small, or potentially lethal they may be. I can only surmise that their species must have evolved from some as of yet undiscovered sea creature, because the desire to not only immerse themselves in water, but to actually dive as deep down in it as possible, makes absolutely no sense otherwise.

The actual act of scuba diving involves strapping a tank filled with various breathable chemicals to your back and by manner of tubes, feeding said chemicals as a "mix" into whatever facial orifice you use to respirate. I assume, as with Foreverlanders, earthlings breathe through their nose and mouth. This is very handy, because if they breathed through any other part of their body, those tubes attached to their faces wouldn't do them much good in keeping them alive. Given that they insist on carrying tanks around and attaching those tubes, I can also make an educated guess that they are unable to breathe underwater without aid. Of this I am almost 75% certain.

Secondly, how to get started? You can begin very easily by obtaining a tank, filling it with breathable chemicals and when you are satisfied that they will not kill you, locate the nearest water source to your current position and jump in it.

So, what do you do once you've jumped in? Earthlings appear to enjoy looking at reminders of their past failures whilst diving. If you wish to fit in, you can do this too. This requires finding the wreck of a long lost transportation device (in this case, it's usually a "ship") and getting close to it. Once you are within a reasonable distance to said transportation device, point at it whilst looking at other nearby scuba divers. If they approve of your gesture and recognition of their past failure, they may reward you with a vocalisation and a "thumbs up" gesture of their own. Do not worry if you cannot understand the sounds they are emitting. They do not appear to mean anything and thus can be safely ignored.

Earthlings also partake in the wearing of flipper-like appendages on their feet when scuba diving. It would be reasonable to to assume that they might aid in acceleration and manoeuvrability, but I fear the motivation behind their use may indeed be more tragic. I do wonder that, in their effect of making earthlings appear more like a being that belongs in the water, it could be signalling a subconscious desire to devolve back into the forms of their sea creature ancestors. In that case, they could be an alarming indication of a speciel identity crisis.

Although I have yet to personally dive within water deeper than the bath that was provided for my use by the hotel I am currently inhabiting, I have been training for the occasion I may plunge into places deeper, by watching visual recordings of others doing so whilst I gently submerge myself in a small "paddling pool" I purchased and have assembled precisely for this purpose.

It did emphasize on the box that the paddling pool in question was intended for earthling young, which may help to explain why their species continues to pursue this obsession with water. If this is the case, I can only imagine the terror those young must feel as they are submerged for the first time in such a device. Like most sensible beings, I abhor the torture of children, but as an alien, I am reminded of my oath to never interfere in the cultural rituals of others. For all I know, there could be a religious aspect to their immersion and so I cannot pass judgment on what I do not yet understand.

Needless to say, I shall be leaving the training pool here when i return back to Foreverland.

[spectral-phases]

I'm not sure anyone from Jersey has ever written anything for Batman related stories ever.

Did you know Batman speaks 20+ languages in canon comic book sources, but not a single one of them is Italian? In the Italian crime family owned city of Gotham, in Jersey, a state with a lot of Italian Americans. Never speaks Italian, apparently. Knows Latin, though.

Some Jersey things from a native Central Jerseyan:

It is Jersey, not New Jersey. It is North Jersey, Central Jersey, and Sojo/South Jersey.

Very passionate about what the food is called. OP, ily bestie, but your North Jersey is showing. Gotham is in Sojo. It's pork roll, egg, and cheese. On a bagel or a roll with spk (salt, pepper, ketchup). They call it pork roll (not Taylor Ham, the package doesn't even call it Taylor Ham. It's a Taylor Pork Roll for crying out loud. Call it Taylor Pork or Taylor Roll and I will let you be), hoagies (not subs). If you're adding in Italian American heritage, they will kill each other over marinara being called gravy or sauce. None of them will pronounce the words like a proper Italian, and they will be very passionate about it.

Going to the shore is popular. You are very close to the shore in Jersey. Gotham is very close to the shore and the boardwalk. Which one? Just the boardwalk. Which shore? Any of them, but likely Cape May given where Gotham is by the river.

Halloween is bad? Try mischief night. Fucking outlawed in Gotham, for all the good that will do. Crane's having the time of his life.

More swearing. We like our swearing. All the batkids have a pass to swear starting at 14 because they're in Jersey.

Listen, everything? Costs too damn much. Jersey property taxes? Insane. Car Insurance? Absurd.

But if I see another person disrespect our produce? We are the garden state for a reason. Drive anywhere in Sojo/Central Jersey outside of a city, lots of farmland. Lots of farms along the highways with all their cornstalks. Local produce is huge. Going apple/peach/whatever orchard picking? Huge. Cost too much? Sure. Is it bad? No.

Jersey has a huge Latino population. We have good Mexican restaurants and many Hispanic grocery stores.

We have many Asian grocery stores. We have a lot of all types of ethnic grocery stores in addition to all the "regular" chains. Our chains? Shoprite for discount/average prices, Stop & Shop for expensive, Trader Joes/Whole Foods/Wegman's if you have more money than God. Aldi's new. There's a deli everywhere you turn and bagel shops and small mom and pop grocers.

There is a large variety of food available here and types of restaurants that everyone eats at, even outside of the cities.

Speed limits? Nobody here has heard of those awful things, much less has the time to obey them. Sure would be nice if everyone else could learn to drive, though. Or park. Dear god. Can the rich assholes learn to park?

You must like the Boss to live in Jersey. Rules are rules. Who is the Boss? Pains me to have to explain Bruce Springsteen to you (I don't actually listen to Bruce Springsteen, mostly because I will hear him no matter where I go at some point during the year). Same thing goes for Bon Jovi.

More Sojo things? Aside from hockey (Devils) it's Philly teams or bust. Obviously, they support their Gotham teams in Gotham, and probably outside of Gotham. We are very salty about the Jets having their stadium in North Jersey but being a New York team. Fuck you, Jets. Fuck you.

Doing a high-school prom thing? The other students are going to Wildwood afterwards. What is Wildwood? It's a shore town with a boardwalk.

All these DPxDC fics and not ONCE is one of the Batman taking Danny to eat a Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese sandwich. Sacrilege.

[jacks-tracks]

2Days behind

The zoo was good, mostly because it was in Chapultepec park, a cool shady green space. Sunday, so there were a lot of people picnicing, waking dogs, or just loafing. Entrance to the zoo was free(sunday) and the crowds did not show till noon. As zoos go, this is a good one, with the animals in large outdoor spaces with vegetation, fake rocks,and even streams for the bears. My first turn on the winding path was to the large animal area, and some deer. The keepers had just put out the grass food, so all the herbivores were out. I drifted to a glass walled wire roofed enclosure labelled Bengal tigers. Sure enough the female was loafing up on the rocks, and as I pressed to the glass for a pic, the male came sliding around the corner, inches from my face. Heart stops! These babys are big! Huge head filled with fangs, feet the size of tennis rackets, and a long powerfully muscled body with a sinuous annoyed tail. He was interested in the deer which he could smell but not see, and he paced back and forth with controlled power. What a start to my visit!

I slid quietly away, no eye contact, and made the tour of the other cages/enclosures. Giraffes, gnus, several antelope species, brown bears(with a stream and rocky hideout) , black bears, grizzlies, peacocks, I could go on,but it,s a zoo and well stocked. I wandered against the people flow, dodging the noisy children(go rap on the tigers glass!) and really enjoyed the walk. Skipped the reptiles, enjoyed the birds, and had a pleasant traffic free afternoon. Across the main street,part closed for cyclists, and into the Rufino Tamaya art gallery. Call me old fashioned, i like realism in art, and smashed pianos , one eyed monsters, and plain abstract junk glued to canvas was pitiful. My grandkids make more comprehensible art. Glad it was free!

Back on the subway, which stops one half mile short of my street, closed for repairs but no signage. it,s fast and outside of rush hour it's good. I got another chicken taco to go for super(25 pesos) and the cook first made the tortilla, then cooked it, then stuffed it as full as possible with a big handful of shredded chicken and cheese. Full meal deal! It was good to have the secure clean and safe hotel to flop in.

Next day was an out of town excursion to Teotihuacan ruins 50 K north. More subway travel (only went the wrong way once, there a re no signs because everybody knows the deal), and got to the Autobus del Norte station, from which any bus going north anywhere in Mexico departs from. Huge halls, hundreds of buses and thousands of people. Good instructions online, and the taquilla was almost where they said. Even avoided the obvious mistake which would have been to take the bus labelled archeologica because it goes to a nearby town, not to the ruinas. Right bus , comfy window seat and 1 half hour ride just to get to the suburbs, Gads Mexico city is huge! Favelas climb the hillsides in a pastel block pile, small corn fields squeeze between factorys and bodegas, and overall runs a sky tram with swinging gondolas for miles. ? Once on the Autopista we made good time and it was only 1hour total to the ruinas. Now my guidebook was the source and I dodged the hundreds of sellers of tourist crap and took the backroad to the museum. Bloody hot, and no shade except one tree where I stopped to swill water. I bekieve that's the first time I,ve been apart from people for weeks, and it was pleasant to rest and birdwatch(bright red bird?). More hot walk and into the museum filled with artifacts. It amazes me how much stuff they find for display. i know 10,000 people or more lived in these places, but they sure left a lot behind, dishes, tools art.

The actual site is miles across, and is centered around a broad walkway from the lesser pyramids a up to the huge ones at the far end . These ruins are ruined, flattened by time and weather, bare walls rise up to where temples topped painted platforms. The archeologists say alot about the use of the structures, ranging from Markets to sacrificial stones, but really they are just guessing, nobody left a record, and what they had the invaders trashed. Regretably the tombs and underground rooms a re off limit, so no frescoes could be seen. Millions of tourists come here, and if everybody walked the steps there would just be gravel left. All I can say, having climbed the major pyramids from here to guatemala, was that this was the most massive one. No climbing of course, and frankly it was so hot i would not have gone up if i could. Out the back exit, caught the bus and home to relax. A nice time outside the huge city.

[sovtwords]

HELLO LUV, I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HAPPY I AM YOUR PASSION FOR WRITING HAS CAME BACK!!! I NEED MORE OF WHORROR SERIES BECAUSE I CAN REBUFF THOSE SEVEN EXISTING PARTS BY HEART LOL and because i am so excited and happy for you, perhaps can you start your new writing journey with the prompt of the third bullet point w/ Atsumu??? LOVE YOU AND GOOD LUCK <333

for: haikyuu!!

pairing: miya atsumu x reader

warnings: brief mention of sex

w/c: 657

a/n: THANK YOU MY DEAREST!!! I'm trying my hardest to get into writing again - I NEED to finish my whorror series!! AND THANK YOU FOR SENDING IN A PROMPT FOR MY MAIN SQUEEZE HEHEHE ILYSM

Atsumu feels like his heart is about to burst free from his chest like one of those weird alien things in that movie Suna showed him one night.

You’ve long since clued in on the fact that something was seriously up with Atsumu, if the table rattling underneath you was any indication. His leg bounces rapidly and steadily, each jitter making the table shake, making the cutlery twinkle rather obnoxiously, but the blonde doesn’t seem to notice the racket he’s making as he tries to focus on the essay in front of him. The words are blurry, a mess of syllables, periods and commas, and the screen is glaringly bright enough to put a strain on his eyes, yet he’s adamant about keeping his gaze set on his laptop, and not anywhere near you where you sit across from him at the table doing your own college work.

Roommates were supposed to be fun. They were supposed to be a source of entertainment, a buddy to drink with, someone to share half of the cooking and cleaning with, someone to give out to when the toilet wasn’t flushed. You weren’t supposed to strike up a ‘friend’s with benefits’ deal with them under the pretense of it strictly being just sex, you aren’t supposed to begin falling into their bed to seek more than just a quick fuck and instead drown yourself in the warmth of their affection and comfort, and you most definitely should not fall in love with them.

But here sits Miya Atsumu - notorious rule breaker. He didn’t just cross the line; he practically leapt and bounded over it like a happy elf just so he could be wrapped up in your arms and greedily inhale all the attention he could get.

He’s well passed the ‘butterflies in the stomach’ stage and is now wallowing in the ‘I am completely devoted to nobody but you’ stage of his little problem, and Atsumu knows he’s reaching a boiling point with every passing day he tries to smother his feelings and move on with his life.

And you - Gods, you - with your perfect everything, your kindness that is as unending as time itself, know that Atsumu needs to work out whatever if troubling him before he can ever come to rely on anyone else, and you wait with the patience of a saint for him to explode, ready to catch the pieces of his heart and glue it together again.

Atsumu breaks, allows himself a peek at you over the edge of his laptop, and wonders how someone slurping noodles with bags under their eyes and a hoodie with more holes in it than Swiss cheese could be the embodiment of beauty itself, and yet-

“S-So,” Atsumu finally snaps, and winces at the crack in his voice, but allows his voice to do all the work before he can melt into a puddle because of the gleam in your eye, how you drink in the entirety of his being like an artist to their muse. It makes him feel special in a way he was never allowed to feel before, and for that, he would give you the world and then some. “This is really awkward ‘cause I know I told ya I wasn’t lookin’ for love, but then I kinda fell in love and I would love it if you’d have me as yer boyfriend.”

Your eyebrows inch their way up to your hairline in surprise, and his mouth begins to ramble some more.

“W-Well I mean- we don’t have to go by any names like that I suppose if ya don’t like it. But it’d make me the happiest man in the world if ya did. And I understand if ya don’t feel the same way but I don’t wanna lose ya over something like this, and I-”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

His leg stops shaking.

And then it starts again twice as fast.