#source: criticalrole incorrectquotes

[teenwolfpackincorrectcaptions]

Harlan: I don’t know man. Does she make your heart beat faster?

Everett: I have anxiety, dude. Everything makes my heart beat faster. 

(source)

[fjb-blurbs]

Random Kunoichi at a bar: *sits down next to Minato*

Minato: *scoots away*

Kunoichi: hey now, I don’t bite handsome-

Kushina: *slams hands down on table* I FUCKING DO-

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Peni: Where's my stress ball?

Noir: The heck is a stress ball?

Peni: There it is.

Noir: What-

Peni, hugs Noir: When we cuddle, I don't feel as stressed.

Noir: oh

[incorrectcollectiveassrpgs]

Drevyn: [lighting romantic candles and spreading rose petals on the bed]

Blair: Oh, what spell are we doing?

[thebulletinhamilton-quotes]

Eliza Schuyler: You shouldn’t be using a straw.

Alexander Hamilton: Yeah yeah, it’s bad for the environment, whatever.

George Washington: No, it’s just a weird way to eat lasagna.

[petitprincess1]

Alastor: I know we don’t get along with each other, but I got you a bath bomb for your birthday. So, whenever you’re feeling stressed, just fill your bathtub with water and drop this in. I guarantee all your worries will be over.

Angel Dust: *opens up the bag* ....Al, this is a toaster.

[saharzahids]

Steve: In our group we advocate respect and tolerance.

Sam: [sets down his mug]

Steve: Use a FUCKING COASTER-

[the10dollarfoundingfather]

Hamilton: If i ever get murdered just know i talked shit until the bitter end

[noneofurbusinez]

Lipton: *at starbucks* could i please get a venti vanilla latte with seven espresso shots?

luz: *in line behind him* jesus christ, just do cocaine.

[sariahsue]

Alya: Sibling relationships are weird.

Alya: Like, I’d give Nora a kidney, but she is not borrowing my charger.

[statistically-unlikely-heavymain]

Pyro: I’ve taken a controversial new pill that accelerates my brain.

Engineer: So you're smart now?

Pyro: I'm stupid faster.

[koaticbutaverage4]

Gemini: I’ve taken a controversial new pill that accelerates my brain.

Aquarius: So you’re smart now?

Gemini: I’m stupid faster.

[fjb-blurbs]

[On a mission]

Shizune: I just remembered, I have a bottle of chloroform in my pack. 

Sakura, grabbing the bottle: great! we can use this to knock out the guard.

Sakura: *whacks the guard on the back of the head with the bottle*

Sakura, beaming: it worked!

(x)

[incorrect-piltover-quotes]

Jayce: I simultaneously hate myself and think I’m the greatest, smartest, sexiest person alive.

Jayce: The whiplash is incredible.

[thebulletinhamilton-quotes]

Alexander Hamilton: You can’t solve all your problems with fire.

Eliza Schuyler: *burning his letters* Watch me.

[revelryinthememes]

Izuku, Katsuki, and Shouto: *SCREAMING*

Endeavor, sprinting into the room: WHAT’S WRONG SHOUTO??

Katsuki: WHY ARE YOU ONLY ASKING ICY-HOT?! WE'RE ALL SCREAMING

Endeavor: Because Shouto doesn't scream unless it’s an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.