#sounds weird omg
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°~ A MAGE IN THE JUNGLE ~°
Includes: Use of she/her, Slimy naga dick, Size difference, strangers to...fucking? Idk.
In which: Our Mage searches the jungle for a rare species to add to her "research".
She curses as her boot clad feet catch on another root, almost sending her tumbling into the dewy jungle ground. Deciding to stop for a short break, she swats at the buzzing mosquitoes, taking her hat off to fan herself futilely while eyeing the map she bought.
The vender who sold it to her was an eccentric type, which is always a good sign in her eyes. If you're going to scam people at least commit to the whole "mysterious merchant" bit. The old hag managed to make her cough up 7 copper coin for this "traveler's essential".
Her goodwill has not been paid back as apparently the map was more unreliable than she expected. The mage curses herself as she glowers at the useless map, trying to decipher where the hell she is.
After a few more minutes of squinting and pointing to random places on the map, she just scrunches the flimsy paper in her hands and sets it on fire, burning it up before the embers could even reach the floor. She wasn't looking for anything any cheap map could show her anyway.
She came here to follow an urban legend about a deadly beast that stalks the jungle. The creature has many different variations depending on who's telling the story but what is consistent is the shining gold scales adorning the creature. Stories vary widely from village to village, some say it's an old wrathful god sent down to punish those greedy enough to seek it out and some say it's a beautiful maiden with a golden tail here to bring good fortune to those deserving of it.
Which ever story is the truth, she just couldn't hold back her fanaticism. A strange creature that apparently nobody has seen before but for some reason is being spotted closer to nearby villages more and more? That is absolutely right up her alley.
Now if she could only find the damn thing. The villagers seemed almost relieved that someone else was going to try and find this thing, so getting information was quite easy. While the area has been narrowed down, it's still a huge chunk of jungle. At this point it would be easier if the monster just came out and tried to eat her already.
The mage percs up when they hear water flowing and walks in that direction until she stumbles on a river. She kneels down by the waters edge, it looks pretty deep or maybe the water is just too murky to see the bottom. She hums and pulls out the flask she enchanted, fills it with water and waits for the magic to properly dispose of the dirt particles and bacteria before taking a long gulp.
This river is wide and the water flows slowly but surely past her. She places her hand in the water, curious to see if she can see the bottom or perhaps any fish to eat.
She softly chants an incantation, forcing the dirt particles away from her hand. This proves harder than she thought as she's never had to cleanse flowing water before.
She leans in closer to concentrate her energy and eventually the water becomes clearer and she can see something glistening at her from the water. Is that really treasure at the bottom of the river? Could she be that lucky?
She squints and leans closer to get a better look, the golden specs glinting in the murky water blink at her through the surface.
She freezes and the blood in her veins turns colder than the depths of the river.
Before she can even move a huge clawed hand shoots up from the surface and clings onto her arm, tearing through her cloak, undershirt and skin. There's no time for a painted scream as she's pulled into the water with great force. She can feel the waters resistance against her body as it's dragged into the murky depths.
Before this beast actually drowns her she manages to force her other hand against the current to grip onto the beasts scaly wrist. She casts the first spell she can think of, Combustion.
Suddenly the surface of the water explodes outwards, splashing water high into the air. She propels herself upwards and breaks the surface to hover above the water. She curses and looks around frantically, she can't lose the monster now. Panicking, she summons her hat and starts chanting, willing the plentiful vines of the jungle trees to plunge into the river and search for the beast.
When she feels a tug she wills the vines to pull the heavy struggling mass to the surface. The huge mass writhes and thrashes in its confines as it rises from the water.
She can finally see just how massive this thing is as it fights and snarls at her. It's much bigger than any Naga she's seen before, the human half is near orc sized! The bottom half being even bigger with the long thick tail thrashing in the water below. She reinforces the vines to bind the rest of the ridiculously large tail and sets the beast down on the ground next to the river.
When her feet meet the ground, she sighs and wills the water out of her soaked clothes. She checks her bleeding arm and sucks in a breath at how deep the gashes are.
"Now look what you did. Fucking hell, thats deep. How long are your claws?!"
Of course she can heal it but it's such a pain. The monster on the ground hisses and spits in response.
She takes a better look at it, or him, she discovers. His scales really do shimmer like gold with black scales painting a pattern all the way down his back and tail. His white underbelly fades into something resembling human skin as her eyes move up his rapidly moving chest. The gold scales fade into a darker black down his shoulders to the tips of his clawed fingers. Her eyes flicker to his intense stare, pure gold flickers in his irises. His drenched black hair gets in the way of his glare.
"Wow."
She can't help but verbalise her awe. She carefully moves around him to look at him in a different angle.
"I knew you were a naga. I knew it."
She summons a book into her hand, not her spellbook but one for these special cases. She flips to a new page and licks the tip of her pencil. She crouches down to look at him expectantly,
"Do you happen to know how much you weigh? What do you eat? Most nagas are some sort of omnivorous but I'm assuming you eat mostly fish. How many fish do you have to eat to stay this size?"
She gestures incredulously to all of his giantness.
He just growls some more, quiter this time as his confusion overtakes his anger somewhat.
"Come now, I know you can understand me and I know you can speak."
He stops growling to stare at her incredulously. How could she possibly know that? The giant snake man tries to readjust but hisses again, this time in pain. She jolts up and immediately goes to assess the wound on his wrist, which is tied tightly to his back. She cringes at the red, fleshy wound she created on his body. So much for first impressions. Without much warning she immediately starts with the healing spell. This creates great discomfort for him, as his cells rebuild themselves but she knows this is better than dragging it out for longer.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
She coos at the massive man almost like he's a child or a small animal. This woman evades him. Once she's done and his wrist is good as new she springs up and clears her throat, looking somewhat embarrassed.
"Sorry about that but...you did try to eat me so..."
He looks like he wants to say something but doesn't know how exactly. By the scowl on his face it doesn't look like it would be anything good. She crouches down again, peering down at him.
"Do you still want to eat me?"
He growls, nothing but hatred in his beautiful eyes as he hoaursly spits out,
"I want nothing more in the world."
"..."
The mage tries and fails to hide a girlish giggle behind her hand as she rocks back and forth on her feet. She reacts as if he'd just complemented her outfit. The Naga man pulls his mouth into a snarl and huffs in irritation, hating how this woman continues to confuse him.
After composing herself she summons her little reaserch book again, holding it against her crouched thighs to write.
"Have you actually ever eaten a human before? Be honest."
The Naga writhes in his bonds to eventually turn away from her so atleast he doesn't have to face his captor. He lies there for awhile just squirming every so often, he's already tried to cut the vines with his claws but she must have done some kind of reinforcement magic when she healed him. Damn witch.
While he devises an escape plan, he can hear scratching on paper from behind him. The mage seems to be writing quite a lot in her book. When the Naga looks back at her he catches her gaze staring intently at the intricate patterns on his back, the way the scant black scales blend with the bright gold makes for a very unique pattern.
"How much will you sell it for"
She stops sketching and looks back up at his eyes. She lets out a confused "hmm?"
This only makes him angrier.
"My hide! It must be worth a fortune! That's why you're here!"
Her gaze softens a bit, kicking herself mentally for being so unthinking towards the man. He might be big and intimidating but that doesn't mean he can't be scared for his life.
"Look, I don't want your hide. It would be much easier to just fake one anyway since nodoby knows what you actually look like. I just want to ask you a few questions and then let you get back on with your day. I'll even cook you a meal as a thank you."
The snake man is obviously skeptical, all he does is stare back at her with those gorgeous eyes.
She sighs and opens her book back up, flipping over to a particular page.
"Researching rare and perculiar creatures is a hobby of mine."
She rolls down onto her stomach and shuffles closer to the massive Naga. She leans on her elbows to show him the open page as if they were best friends at a slumber party and she's showing him her dairy.
"You're not even the rarest or most sought after Naga species I've met."
She points to a drawing she sketched of a male Naga, this one with the torso and arms of a human but the tail and head of a snake. There's a bunch of scribbles and descriptions around the drawing in a language he can't read.
"Where he's from people worship him like a god. He's a very rare species that can hypnotise someone just by looking into their eyes."
She chooses to leave out the part where she willingly let the Naga hypnotise her and use her as he pleased for weeks.
He doesn't have a response to give the mage, staring blankly at the pages as she rattles on about other species she has in her book. His skepticism somewhat dampened by these sketches of Naga just like him but with characteristics he's never seen before.
The mage notices how dark the sky has gotten, catching a few stars glinting overhead. She gets up and starts assembling the tent she brought. Pulling thick fabric out of her infinitaly deep satchel.
The Naga man just lies there watching, wondering if it would be so bad to comply with this mage. They don't seem dangerous or malicious at all but the magic they wield is still a concern. She talks to him as she works on building her temporary abode.
"Y'know, the village folk are quite nice. If you want I could talk to them, I'm sure they would rather cohabitate than live in fear of a man-eating monster in the jungle. Since you're definitely a rare species this part of the jungle could even be named as a conservation zone."
She keeps yapping stuff the Naga man doesn't care to listen to. The mage erects her shoddy little tent, does some sort of chant and then hurriedly crouches inside the small space.
She stays inside there for a while to the point where the Naga man thinks she might not return for the night. He smells something absolutely devine and realises it's cooked beef coming from inside the tent.
The damn mage walks outside with a steaming bowl of that devine smelling concoction. She stabs a piece of meat with a fork and offers it to him after blowing on it a little. She doesn't really give him time to react before poking the fork into his mouth. His taste buds are lighting up and he almost moans at the taste.
The mage grins at how he accepted her offer and stands back up.
"I just want to ask you a few questions. I'm sorry for causing you trouble but I didn't come all this way for nothing. I'm more than happy to repay you for your troubles if you just come inside."
After that she turns and walks back into the tent. As she walks away the vines binding his body loosen until they fall from his body entirely.
He's free. She's giving him an out. He could just leave.... But he can still taste the meat on his tongue. Nothing has happened to him yet so atleast he knows it's not poisoned or spiked. He turns to where the dark water of the river calls to him and turns back to the fire light coming from inside the mages tent. He sighs and hangs his head. As if the jungle itself is trying to urge him, a cool breeze blows past that seems to urge him closer to the tent.
The Naga sighs, stretches his sore limbs and slowly slithers towards the tent. He takes a deep breath before parting the fabric of the opening and crouching inside.
As he expected, the tent is much bigger than it appears on the outside. Bedding and pillows cover the floor and there is a fire with a pot over it in the middle.
The mage is humming to herself while pouring more steaming hot stew into two bowls. He sits across form her coiling his tail into a pile to sit on top of it.
She holds out a steaming bowl to him and waits patiently for him to take it. He hesitantly accepts the offer and, after watching her eat a fair portion of her own bowl, starts slurping up the meaty stew.
After the first and second serving the mage places her empty bowl aside and picks up her book. As the Naga pours himself a third helping she clears her throat, making him look up at her expectant gaze. He huffs but nods, lazing back against his tail to keep enjoying his meal. The mage gleams across from him.
"I don't know how much I weigh, I eat mostly fish and I've never eaten a human."
The mage scribbles all this down as he speaks, very pleased with his cooperation.
"How often do you shed?"
The Naga rests his arms on his tail like it's a comfy backrest. He takes a generous gulp of his stew before answering,
"...Once every season."
"So you grow moderately quick then? And you're still growing? Or do you think this is how big you'll get."
"I still shed, so I'm still growing."
The woman nods and jots that down.
"You're a constrictor type, right? No venom or hypnotising?"
He gives her a deadpan stare, as if to say "What do you think?". She gets the idea and confirms her own theory.
she chews her lip, deliberating something before she finally asks.
"Can I measure you?"
He gives her an irritated look before he slowly unwinds his tail from it's bunched up state, unfurling it out on the floor as he lies on his stomach.
The mage wastes no time springing up and pulling a rolled up tape measure out of her hat. She holds it out to him and says,
"Hold this at your head, please."
He boredly does as she asks and she carefully walks back the length of his body. He doesn't know why but he straightens his tail as much as possible while looking at her over his shoulder. When she gets to the tip of his thick tail she exclaims some numbers in a measurement he doesn't know but from the look on her face it's clearly impressive. She hurriedly scribbles that in her book.
The measuring roll disappears and the Naga goes back to his meal. He pours what's left in the bowl into his awaiting mouth before he feels a soft touch on his tail and freezes.
He slowly looks behind him at the culprit. He watches her with a predatory gaze as she hesitantly tests his patience. He watches her, as if daring her to go further and so obviously she does. She inches higher up his tail to where is gets much thicker, lightly tracing the patterns on his reptilian skin. She softly touches his golden scales as if they're fragile.
The mage gets more confident and crawls higher up his tail, getting more inquisitive and bold.
"Is the underside more sensitive?"
She asks, genuinely curious. He doesn't answer, just keeps staring at her with a look that says "Try it", so that's what she does. She looks into his eyes and slides her hand down the side of his tail towards the white underbelly.
He strikes before she can even blink. He has her on the floor coiled up in his tail as he entraps her whole body with his. She doesn't offer much of a fight besides some squirming but his tightening hold on her body forces her to still.
"Is this what you want mage?"
She says nothing, only looks up at him with those same curious eyes. He can feel her heart beat as he squeezes her rib cage, it beats steady and bold. She's not scared of him at all and that intrigues him more than he likes.
The Naga looms over her, he reaches out to grab her jaw tilting her head around to look over her face. He's tried to ignore it but he's also quite curious about her and her own species. He pinches his fingers slightly so that it makes her lips pout together before he reaches out with his other hand to take her pink tongue in between his thumb and pointerfinger. She just stares up at him, offering no resistance.
He strokes the small wet muscle with his thumb, rubbing over where it would split into two if she was a Naga like him. It's so small compared to his fingers and much warmer than he anticipated, probably due to the warm meal they just shared. He sticks his tongue out to lick the air and pauses when he smells something unfamiliar but unmistakable, coming from the Mages lower parts.
He's smelled it once before when he caught sight of a human woman bathing in the river, he couldn't help but linger in the brush and watch the human as she touched herself. He feels the same need now that he felt then, a curious burn in his stomach.
The mage struggles in his hold,
"I know you're curious too..."
She says up at him, almost hopefully. She slowly struggles her legs free to wrap them around his wide torso, squeezing him between her thighs. As he looks down at her the snake man feels her warm body heat radiating off of her seeping into his skin, the movement of her chest, her pulse. He can feel his cock poking out from the slowly parting slit on his white underbelly.
He licks the air one more time before his mouth catches hers in a needy kiss. She immediately kisses back with fever, fidgeting more in his hold making him tighten the heavy coils which only makes her let out a pleasured cry into his mouth. His tongue feels so odd on her own, it's much longer than hers and he pushes it down her throat with abandon.
His tail slithers around her body, lifting her shirt up. When she first feels his cold skin against her warm stomach she's filled with need to feel him against every inch of her skin. She struggles in his hold, kissing him with more need and trying to grind her neglected cunt against something.
The Naga huffs a laugh and watches her kick her legs helplessly.
"Do you have other clothes?"
He mumbles against her lips, she nods into the kiss.
His claws tear her pants and underwear away as if the garments were made of tissue paper, doing the same to the neckline of her shirt and undershirt. She groans at the feeling of his cold skin against hers and the humid night air on her cunt.
She feels a slick substance drip onto her pussy and groans loudly.
"Show me. Let me see."
She pleads and struggles even more. He chuckles and nibbles on the skin of her neck,
"Little thing like you should be scared. What if it's too much for you?"
His concern is real even if he's insanely turned on by this situation. Her body might not be able to keep up with her inquisitive mind.
"Try me."
She looks into his eyes with determination, he looks back. One of his hands go to stroke his growing cocks as they unsheath from their slit. She stretches to pear over his tail wrapped around her. There's two, one big cock clearly meant for insemination, the same colour as his white underbelly and a second reddish coloured one, she assumes is meant for extra stimulation. The Naga strokes the big one with one hand, both cocks have slick ooze spilling from them and they're dripping with slick which she guesses is produced from the slit they come out of.
She worms her hand over one of his coils to grip onto his tail, she whines loudly at him. She wants it inside her so bad. He chuckles at her again as more of his precum drips onto her pussy lips.
He can't deny her pleas for long and against his better judgement he prods at her entrance with his cock, rubbing the tip up against her hole.
She grinds up into him and he takes that as the go ahead to slide inside her. The slippery tip sheathes inside her rather easily, it's the rest of him he's worried about. He struggles to hold himself back from pounding the hot tight pussy squeezing around him, he truly doesn't want to hurt the Mage.
Said Mage is almost in tears at being unintentionally edged by him. She squeezes her thighs around his massive waist, squirming around as much as she can. The Naga finds he likes the way her soft naked body wriggles in his coils, he especially likes the way her thigh muscles tense and relax. His sharp claws gently caress the fat of her thighs, curiously squeezing and jiggling the fat slightly. She whines again and he decides to be merciful and slides his cock further inside her while gripping her thighs.
He's too slow, too cautious and she just can't take it anymore.
She mumbles a little spell and the Nagas body feels a sudden force pulling him closer to her making him hiss as his cock is suddenly thrusted to the hilt. The smaller cock is rubbing up against her clit delisciously and the slick coating his cock seeps out of her pussy.
"If I want you to stop, I can make you. Stop, pussying around fuck me."
He stares down at her with blown out eyes, she stares up at him so determined while still being thoroughly bound in his hold. His breathing is more ragged and a grin finds it's way on his face. He looks almost feral and it makes the mages pussy clench around him which makes him reactively thrust back.
She's spun around suddenly in his hold, his tail unwinding until her arms are free and there's one coil left around her waist. Her arms are quickly bound by his own hands, gripping her much smaller arms. He gives a hard thrust into her cunt and growls in her face as she moans back up at him.
He starts a rough pace, having thrown all cation to the wind. Her tight human pussy squeezes him so tight like he squeezes around her body with his tail. The loud wet slapping sounds his hips make against hers make everything even more erotic. His coiled tail around her grips her waist tightly and he groans when he can feel his own cock bulge against her stomach where his tail holds her.
He brings the end of his tail to wrap around her wrists binding them together while his ramming into her soaked pussy.
He speeds up even more and places his palm on top of his smaller dick, pressing it against her clit. His other hand is gripping her under thigh so hard she's pretty sure his claws have pierced her skin. The stimulation on his sensative cock makes him frantically thrust into her until he releases deep inside her. He shakes and spasms as he empties himself into her. If he was more conscious he would be embarrassed at how needy he must have looked.
His orgasm lasts quite awhile longer than she expected, she realises he must have been really pent up as his cock just keeps shooting seed into her every few seconds. The poor Naga looks exhausted when his orgasm finally ends. His eyes are closed, breathing deeply with strands of black hair fall delicately around his face. The tail around her wrists loosens and she immediately goes to pull him down into her embrace, clutching his sweaty body into her warmer one.
He hums into her neck, enjoying her warm softness. His tongue flicks out occasionally to lick her salty skin and smell her on the air.
"Did I tire you out, big guy?"
She jokes, while her hands caress the comparatively massive expanse of his back. She tries to remind herself that he might be inexperienced and more sensitive than usual, she doesn't want him to feel bad about getting overstimulated.
The Naga lifts his head from her neck, his body casts a shadow over hers as he looms over her again. He gives her a sharp fanged grin.
"Don't be so cocky, Mage."
The end of his tail slowly comes from behind to wrap around her neck as the coil still wrapped around her waist lifts her torso up high. His softening cock slips out of her dripping cunt as he lifts her up with his tail. She groans low as she feels the copious amounts of slick and spend fall from her pussy to the floor.
The naga curiously runs his thumb up the length of the mages pussy, gathering up the fluids. He feels a strange urge to keep as much of his cum inside her as possible. Careful of his sharp claws he opts to push his spend back into her pussy with his tongue, feeling the way she squirms and clenches around his forked tongue. The Naga hisses lightly in delight and smooshes his face into the fat warmth of her thigh while looking into her eyes. She peers at him with a dazed look, loving the way his tail lightly squeezes her thoat.
"I'm far from done with you."
As it turns out she didn't get to ask him many questions that night. Not that she complained about it much.
#omg finally finished this thank god#shitty title but idk#monster x human#monster boyfriend#monster x reader#I know snake skin isn't called a hide but it just sounded weird calling it skin???#teratophillia#terato#naga#naga x human#naga x reader#monsterfucker#monster lover#Mage! Reader
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Satan shower card edit because WHY IS HE WEARING SHORTSS 🤬🤬‼️‼️‼️
also plopped some headcanons and better lighting on him :3
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One with less steam on his ass because it started off as a joke but I am NOT a coward:
#omg im going insane becuz i forgot to remove some part of his shorts 😭😭😭#also i am so proud on his ass????#it sounds weird as hell but theres been weirder#anyways like i was able to create ass from SCRATCH????? and rendered it???? clap clap....#i've seen people's post get taken down so TUMBLR.... TUMBLR :3 TUMBLR HI... YEAH SO LIKE....#i need to fucking sleep this shit took me 45 minutes (atleast thats what ibispaint told me)#obey me satan#satan#obey me#... uhm#StOP WHY DID SEVENTEEN BY MARINA START PLAHING RIHHT WHEN I WANTED TO POST THIS 😭😭#is this a sign to make a seventeen satan animatic 🤨#obey me shower card#obey me edit
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*sticks tongue out a little* omg omg so cutesy cutesy
#sebastian stan#*blep sound effect*#omg like that one yoshi sound effect#yeah I’m weird#I love Sebastian stan
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@animangacreators Challenge #19: Comedy Genre Favorite Comedy Animanga ↳ GINTAMA || "Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon”
#Gintama#gintamaedit#anisource#animangahive#userzuura#useraki#tusergabrielle#userkyaa#userroh#usermoh#usersenka#gintamagifs#mygifs#animangacreators#comedychallenge#the title sounds grammatically weird but i swear it sounds right sajghalskjg#omg i hate doing caps for the fourth wall one its still kinda fast even tho its fking 200+ frames long#oh gintama i would not exist without you i love it sm 😭#the caption jaghaskjgh iykyk 😏😏😏#i censored the word just cuz the show does it too 😂
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masterlist
What is love if not him? What is life without him? He is your sole lover and husband. You couldn't abandon him, not here.
Even when he was calling out to you to leave, to run and take cover. You didn't move. You kept pressure on his wound.
He wouldn't die. He couldn't die. You would change your religion for this man. You had ran away and eloped with him against your family's will. You weren't leaving him now.
Not when he was bleeding out in your arms. He was dying. You both knew that.
Your tears flowed as quick as his blood poured. No, he wouldn't die alone, and he wasn't going to be the only one to die.
In life and death.
The end for Ghost. The start for a pair of ghosts.
#blurb#blurb of what? of something that will never be created :)#LMAO get it? because they both become ghosts#and Ghost is dead...#haha#anywho do you like it :blink blink:#i could be doing an exam project but i was like omg the randos sorta like my writing so im like inspo#call of duty#simon ghost riley#cod#cod mw2#character death#ghost simon riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley x reader#xreader#x gn reader#synthe4u writing#synthe4u#IDC IF I GET LIKES BY BOTS AT LEAST THE BOTS CARE ABT ME :sob sob:#i could put “The birth of a new pair of ghosts” but it sound a lil weird#i am weird i will admit#help me pls i cant no more
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man those interviews in the 00's were so invasive..
it's my oc madeleine!! my babyy
#american psycho#american psycho oc#american psycho art#patrick bateman#madeleine bateman#obligatory#inspired by#friday devils#bc the way they did their#carricature of a corpse#comics#changed my brain omg#do you say president of a company#i thought it was that#but now it sounds kinda weird
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Kinda tired of the idea that art has to be broody and tragic to be "good" tbh
#every time I try to talk about how good these artists are I only get comments like 'omg my silly goofy men who make silly sounds hehe'#like dont get me wrong enjoy them however you like#but is that all they are to you?#comedy isn't a lesser form of art#lemon demon#tally hall#oingo boingo#tmbg#weird al yankovic#idk what these dudes are up to in their personal lives don't take this out of context pls
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The entree round begins! Who will cook the best dish? Who will cook the better soup? Find out... not in the next segment.
Previous / Next (Transcript under the cut)
(1.) [Mia] Somebody here did not fully follow the rules of Diced Junior.
(2.) [Carlo] And that would still be Lewis! A producer pointed out to us that Lewis here did not use the vegetables that were in the flatbread. We didn't even notice since the flatbread was so burnt.
(3.) [Lewis] Oh, I was supposed to use EVERYTHING from each basket ingredient? Anyway, thank you for the opportunity, judges.
(4.) [Mia] Thank you, Lewis. Please audition for Diced once you're older. We'd love to see you compete again.
(5.) [Lewis] Well, I already came to terms with being eliminated before they announced it. Maybe I will try Diced someday.
(6.) [Dulce] Bye, Lewis!!
[Alex] You did good, man.
[Rubiya] We'll miss you.
[Lewis] Bye, everyone. Good luck.
(7.) N/A
(8.) N/A
(9.) [Andrea] Chefs, please report back to your stations. Your baskets for the entree round have been placed.
(10.) [Dulce] Wow, they move fast here.
(11.) [Andrea] Inside your baskets, you'll find jicama, hatch green chiles...
(12.) [Andrea] ...goat chops, and chana masala.
(13.) [Rubiya] I'm pleasantly surprised with these ingredients! They won't be hard to combine. However, the real challenge here will be the time limit while using these complex items.
(14.) [Dulce] Yes! My mom is Mexican, so I am very familiar with jicama and chiles. Also, my mom's friend taught me how to cook some Indian dishes, so I know how to work with masalas. I haven't cooked goat yet, but I should be able to figure it out.
(15.) [Alex] I'm happy with the ingredients, just a lil worried about the chiles. Good thing I've cooked goat lotsa times by now.
(16.) [Andrea] Chefs, the 30-minute timer starts now!
(17.) [Rubiya] I'm making chana masala goat tacos with a green chile salsa and jicama dip.
(18.) [Rubiya] Tacos aren't necessarily easy to make, but with my thirty-minute time limit and these beautiful ingredients, this is the way to go! I'll incorporate the ingredients well. If only I could make the tortillas from scratch, but it is what it is.
(19.) [Dulce] I'm making a tomato soup with goat, jicama, chana masala, and hatch green chiles. I'll add sweet potatoes, onion, kidney beans, and green bell peppers.
(20.) [Dulce] There's a lot of things to dice and chop while also making sure the goat and sweet potatoes are thoroughly cooked, but I want to push myself. Also, the judges seemed to really like how I play with many different ingredients, so I want to do that again.
(21.) [Alex] I'm making an egusi soup with cubed goat meat, hatch green chiles, spiralized jicama, and chana masala. My other ingredients are tomatoes, onions, and spinach.
(22.) [Alex] Well, there aren't any egusi seeds here, so I have to use pumpkin seeds instead. I'll keep the name though, it sounds fancier that way.
(23.) N/A
(24.) [Andrea] Judges, any thoughts and opinions so far?
(25.) [Sofia] We love how confident these young contestants are.
[Mia] However, we also noticed how Alex and Dulce are both making soups. Unfortunately, that will make our judging harsher because we are going to have to compare the two.
(26.) [Carlo] Tsk, tsk. They should have thought more outside the box. Also, Dulce really has to watch the time. Andrea, please check on the contestants.
[Andrea] Will do, Carlo!
#alegria legacy#tjolc gen 1#tjolc#matchalovertrait#dulce alegria#lewis mack#rubiya jabal#alex marino#andrea mixon#mia d'angelo ramirez#sofia bjergsen#carlo mancini#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 legacy#sorry guys for this weird reversal plot twist lol#also hello somewhat consistent/decent lighting 😍😍 i've been waiting for you this entire episode#those tacos sound so good btw omg (disclaimer: i didn't think of those ingredients myself. but i did come up with the dishes)#also the judges are gonna taste all the dishes in one post (it won't drag on like last time) but that won't be until after the next post#next post might be of some interest tho 👀 idk you'll see
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my ukrainian ass finds this funny
#i realised i have a lot of unanswered asks so i’ll be clearing my inbox tmrw!#rtc#ride the cyclone#talia bolinska#talia#talia rtc#noel gruber#noel#noel rtc#misha bachynskyi#mischa bachinski#misha rtc#mischa rtc#tw suicide#tw war#implied? in joking context? this sounds weird omg#these tags are here for folks who filter this out
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i think the funniest thing coming from having a hands-on experience with sex is learning that some of the "fanfiction lied to you, here's how it really is irl" takes have even less in common with reality than some random smut you run across on tumblr
in the end, sex is a very personal experience, there's no such thing as universal recipe for what will feel good and what will turn you on. and the other way round too. the key is to have open mind and to experiment - not only with a partner - and to remember sex is supposed to be fun
#for me personally the biggest irl shock was not omg smut had it different but omg everyone with irl experience lied to me lol#and yes the fact that i'm a kinky ace & queer person who learned about sex from cishet sources is the main factor of this shock#ah and there's also my autism too#everybody was like: ew sex is actually gross sweat is gross semen is gross pussy smells weird etc etc#and i don't bat an eye at any smell or taste BUT heavy breathing is a sound so overstimulating that im genuinely Very Distressed#if I happen to hear it from the wrong side#(yes if a sound comes from a specific side under a certain angle it's either very pleasant or a torture to me depending on sound)#(just autism being autism)#tl;dr don't take someone else's opinion as an absolute truth#there's always a wide variety to life and experience#bas mumbles
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Oh my god... A baby
#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#batim#batdr#fanart#troupe master grimm#hollow knight#bendy!!!omg so so cute#i really liked the new game#it's neat#i love the art direction? the games have#and the colours and stuff#very nice vibe#don't look at my old bendy fanart i beg#also just in case#it may sound weird for some#but!don't tag any other character that looks like grimm#or i will eat bones#just in case because im comparing characters and...yeah#i like comparing him with bendy because bendy has a good design and i like him#2 good character designs okay#okay#my art
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hiiii just making this little post to say that i'll be on vacation/traveling for the next 17ish days so i won't be online much! i'll go through my tracked tag when i'm back so feel free to tag me as usual, and i'll have a queue running 🥰 i apologize in advance if you send me messages/asks/tag me and i don't reply until i come back
about the 2 anon gif requests in my askbox, i'm sorry i wasn't able to get to them before leaving, but i will get on it when i'm back at the end of may! 🫡
#i'll have data i'm just not sure how much i'll be on tumblr#it'll be weird to not watch 7x08 and 7x09 live but i'll be in europe so i'm not gonna stay up until like 2-3am sdkjbsd#lowkey sad i won't be able to gif after the episodes ngl#i sound so insane#omg I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow#it's really happening#gonna pin this#alie shut up
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Medical log, stardate 18935.15. Once more have I seen the tailor go out in his lizard fashion—
#least funny way to make this joke BUT. look how much thought I put into that stardate!#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#it would be so much easier to listen to the new audiodrama podcast of drac daily instead of reading but unfortunately#our dear solicitor will forever sound exactly like our dear doctor to me now because somehow it has become Hot Reptile Summer in my brain#and everything is melting together like changeling soup. and this is BEFORE the gomens s2 premiere. christ.#Dracula: How dare you touch him!! This man belongs to me!! I too can love!!!#me reading All That: omg just like in all my favorite ''Garak saves Julian from other Cardassians'' fanfics :3#god I love how as far as I know there's literally nothing in canon to support any of our weird kinky#''claiming a mate by leaving a bite mark scar on their neck'' or any of that other fanon stuff for Cardassians#it's not like with the Klingon dicks or Vulcan pon farr. anybody could make up absolutely anything about Cardassians#and every single writer I've ever read has chosen shit like mating bites scent marking egg laying#and of course. glowing blue WAP with a built in strap. I fucking love you Deep Space 9 fandom there will never be another like you!!!!!!#Starky's Original Posts#Dracula Daily#COMPUTER. ERASE LOG.
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I SWEAR THIS IS THE BEST ASK THE STORYBOTS EPISODE EVER
I'M SO SORRY IF I SOUND BIASED OR SOMETHING BUT I REWATCHED THIS GEM A DAY AGO AND I LITERALLY FORGOT HOW UNIQUE THIS EPISODE IS
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS AWESOME OH MY GOSH I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY WORD MY LOVE FOR THIS EPISODE OMGGKFZJSAWI-
#ask the storybots#storybots#be nice please#i know its random#storybot fans interact#best episode#i sound insane#boop storybots#bing storybots#beep storybots#bo storybots#bang storybots#THE CHARACTERS IN THIS EPISODE ARE SO COOL OMG#is it weird I want to live in music land?
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First Meetings
haha I meant to post this with a small snippet of a story but then I realized I'm terrible at writing...
But the basis of that little snippet was that Nana was having a hard time having customers for her little bakery/market stall because Mei'fwa racism (also added on the fact that I want to have Ru'uan and Tu'la to have a rivalry with eachother. They haven't liked each other in years.) And then Aphmau comes up because she smells something really good, stumbles upon Nana and buys a tasty Peach Bread. In here, Nana would introduce herself as Ms. Momoko, kind of like a stage name.
#aphmau#mcd rewrite#minecraft diaries#mcd#aphmau fanart#sketches#OMG it's an actually digital art work#this took me forever btw#I imagine that Momoko would be written like 桃子 which from my research means “Peach Child”#Which is supposed to reference Nana's affinity towards Peach treats#I also just thought she needed another name that wasn't Kawaii~Chan#Also there's a thing called Momoko dolls and Nana is a puppeteer#so this name IS PERFECT#Also this takes place in a more populated area then the OG#thought it was super weird to be in the middle of nowhere#So I thought it would be a good way to utilize those Temporary Villages we see in the Malachi arc#I'm renaming them to Nowhere Towns#they sound cooler#Nana aphmau#Aphmau#Thorgi Aphmau#yes that Thorgi#we need more Aphmau Dogs content#figuring out how to make comics#ok I'm done ranting in the tags#nana ashida
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reading A Fragile Enchantment bc I heard lots of good about the author and the story sounded fun but what I got instead is PG Bridgerton, even including a ???????? oppression story. @ the MC why tf are we trying to dismantle the uprising of the downtrodden just so we can smooch their oppressors
#the book is like oooh niamh is soooo sensitive to others and always puts their needs before her own ooh#meanwhile girlie is gonna blow up one of the strongest voices of societal change because she made out with the prince one time#an enchantment of ravens is why i thought this would be good i subconsciously allowed it to seep into my opinions i crave more an enchantme#eernatalk#i'm so sad. the book sounded so lit at first. omg forbidden attraction omg the guy is short and weird and awkward omg the girl is DYING omg#AND THEN i got THIS. okay then. make me sad then
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