#sounds so parasocial but . whatever I don't care

[cinnamonghost]

4 years with my kamioshi 🧡

This phoenix means the entire world to me, literally. vtubers helped me be happier in life.

I don't remember how or why, but HAACHAMA was the very first vtuber I've ever subscribed to. I honestly always though it was Suisei because of that famous Tetris video, since that was the earliest I remember getting into vtubers. But apperently I'm wrong! Sadly I don't think I will ever know since I (regrettably) deleted my youtube history in 2021.

If I remember correctly, I remember watching Ina's debut stream live? But I honestly can't remember. And I didn't subscribe to her or any of holomyth when they debuted so I don't know!

Anyway. I remember not watching Kiara at first because I thought her voice was grating? I think? I can't remember BUT I remember getting really into Calli's music

Maybe behind that small timeframe I was like "oh actually she's really awesome" And so I started watching her. And then. I would start to watch every single streams she's done. And then. Set alarms at 2 in the morning ON A SCHOOL DAY so then I can watch her live, then fall asleep while listen to her talk. I was kind of obsessed. ( and I still do that when she streams really early for me! /these stream times where when was in Japan/ I never changed lol even when it's in like . 8 in the morning streams)

Oh god and then I remember when things like "bottom left" where still so prominent and I remember her crying and feeling frustrated in one stream how she hated that it was kind of what everyone associated her with, her being a big pervert and YABAI. I remember feeling so frustrated thinking "these guys are a bunch of freaks and losers! Maybe they should watch her to realize they misunderstood her all wrong!" Thankfully I never verbalized how defensive I was online LOL I would have gotten in sooooo many arguments online . Me a 14 year old talking to like . 25 year olds. Yeesh!

Anyway I remember there was a time when her 3rd outfit came out when I kind of stopped watching her. When she was playing games like Tunic were where I didn't watch her at all. I didn't even watched her 3rd outfit! I think it was because I was busy with school so I couldn't watch her which would lead to me never watching her. Instead I was watching vtubers like Pomu and Rosemi since they were more of a"my time" friendly. Even so, I'm so happy I've gotten over that rutt! I was literally watching Tenchou today in the morning! Even if I can't make it to the entire stream I try to see what's going on and lurk for a bit.

Oh god, and going to the first hololive EN 3D concert. I was crying sooooo much when I was her. There was so much energy in the room. There was so many people happy to see their oshis! I was too! When she was singing SPARKS I was balling my eyes out, thinking "this is the happiest moment of my life" and everyone cheering for her. all of KFP cheering. Me pouring my heart out cheering for her. It got me really emotion 😭

I hope that I'll be able to talk to her in person one day! I think I would start crying LOL

This phoenix made such a big impact on me, I love Kiara!!!!!!!! She my Kami-oshi!!!!!!!!!!!! I know one day she will graduate.... but even when that happens... I'll be so greatful for all the memories she gave me. I'll be so happy that she lead to loving vtubers. I love you Kiara forever 🧡

[astonmartinii]

if you’re down to do it i’d love a part 2 to opposites attract with mick 👀

opposites attract part two | mick schumacher social media au

part one

masterlist

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

both beloved and feared in the paddock, y/n y/ln will defend her bf until the end, no matter who it is.

(hope you all enjoy 🫡 i love this pairing)

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, mickschumacher and 477,034

tagged: mickschumacher

yourusername: chat shit, get banged

view all 85,349 comments

user49 so. fucking. iconic

mickschumacher i love you, thank you for defending our family

yourusername always <3

user99 hold on a second... our family??? we engaged?

user53 it's probably just a phrase bestie let's not get too crazy

charles_leclerc i'm so scared of you

yourusername good - you want me to swing at ferrari?

user45 truly the ride or die we all need in our lives

mickschumacher

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel and 882,309 others

mickschumacher: family is everything ❤️

view all 83,012 comments

user49 the fact that he considers y/n family is so so cute

yourusername awww mickey !! i love you guys so much, i'd do anything for y'all xx

gina_schumacher love you all ❤️

mercedesamgf1 family 💜

user23 i'm so glad mick has someone like y/n on his side, not only defending him always but also his family xx

f1wagsupdates

liked by mickschumacher, user45 and 1,089 others

tagged: yourusername

f1wagsupdates: y/n y/ln makes her first appearance in the paddock since her incident with the paparazzi. she joined mick in the mercedes garage for the weekend - we're glad she's back !!

view all comments

user33 lmao mick in the likes he's down so bad

user88 finally some good fucking food

user21 ahhhh did y'all see ted fucking flinch when he saw her i'm glad they all know what a bad bitch she is and she'll call anyone's ass out

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, jackdoohan and 721,450 others

tagged: mickschumacher

yourusername: let's rideeeeee or whatever charli xcx said

view all 112,875 comments

user37 war is over y/n is back in the paddock i missed her so much

mickschumacher gonna make it bring your gf to work day every race from now on

yourusername sounds good to me i love the merc catering so much better than haas

user44 LMAO SHE STILL GOT THE DIG IN

estebanocon omg besties back in the paddock

yourusername este bestie !!!! i've missed you and elena need to do something asap xx

f1

liked by mickschumacher, danielricciardo and 330,671 others

f1: host martin brundle has picked up an illness during the weekend and has chosen y/n y/ln, internet personality and host, to take over his hosting responsibilities on race day 🏁

view all 72,109 comments

user56 i love how they don't mention that she's with mick and that she is a host by trade

mickschumacher i know she'll be the best replacement ever ❤️

yourusername awwww thank you babe xxx

user48 i know this is gonna be the most chaotic grid walk ever

user11 but she'll defo ask the questions we all want to know the answer to cause this ain't her full time job who cares if sky don't like it

danielricciardo can't wait to watch it all unfold

mickschumacher

liked by estebanocon, lancestroll and 541,098 others

tagged: yourusername

mickschumacher: what a weekend for the team, but also for us!! my baby made her grid walk debut and killed it xx i love you and am so so proud of you 💘

view all 83,451 comments

user34 will it ever be my turn

user41 i confess - i think i have a parasocial relationship with these two

user78 me and you bestie

estebanocon ahhhh she was great!!

lancestroll as the kids say i think she slayed 💅

yourusername teehee thank you guys

gina_schumacher doing us all proud!!

yourusername ahhh thank you gina 💛

yourusername added to their story

[caption: getting the goods for a certain someone's birthday bash]

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 1,203,455 others

yourusername: i didn't know we had this many friends - sorry switzerland 😞

view all 223,078 comments

danielricciardo i'm never going to another party with you I AM SCARRED

maxverstappen1 you have impressive planning skills - are you open for bookings?

mickschumacher thank you very much baby (you can deal with the noise complaints)

sebastianvettel so this is what we could hear

charles_leclerc you guys are weak - i had a great time, thanks y/n and happy birthday mick !!

estebanocon i love you guys but i wish i wasn't so close to you guys how are we still cleaning up ?

yourusername because we need to make sure things are properly recycled @sebastianvettel

sebastianvettel good good (you don't have to impress me i already love you and mick together)

yourusername thank you for the validation seb

mickschumacher LESS TALKING MORE RECYCLING

mickschumacher

liked by gina_schumacher, estebanocon and 1,340,234 others

tagged: yourusername

mickschumacher: thank you for the best birthday ever babygirl! while the party is something i'll never forget, just being able to spend time with you and the rest of our family was the best thing ever. also prize for best birthday gift ever goes to you for tony the goat, i love him and the fact you got him for and i quote "to remind me of my dad and me in the future". i love you and our growing farm family

view all 301,011 comments

user48 A GOAT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY? TO REMIND HIM OF MICHAEL? FOR MICK BEING THE GOAT IN THR FUTURE? I LOVE THEM

estebanocon can't wait to meet the little guy

yourusername i love you baby - you deserve everything !!! @mercedesamgf1 paddock pass for tony when

mercedesamgf1 happy birthday mick! we're on it 🫡 (admin is scared of you)

user39 omg pls grid walk with tony would be so iconic

charles_leclerc so there was a goat at mick's house i just thought i was really drunk

sebastianvettel welcome to the farm dad life mick - happy birthday x

[golden-tangerine]

Dream is too nice.

That's a statement a lot of people say and it's true. I know this is gonna sound parasocial but I don't care.

Dream is one of the nicest CCs out there, someone who begs other to try and communicate with him and gets attacked over and over and over again and I HATE seeing that he does not learn from those experiences.

'Punz is my friend', no. No he isn't. As someone who has lost friends before I KNOW this hurts. Aknowledging that someone fucked up and did something to you is hard but it has to happen sometimes. Did Dream fuck up? Yes, yes he did. You just don't flirt with your friend's gf/on-off-relatiobship/whatever Punz and Andi were.

However that was in 2021, when peak pandemic happened and he explained why he did what he did. Which is fine, the relationship was toxic af anyway. There should have communication happened that DIDN'T. But you can always talk shit like that out when it bothered one of the people in the situation.

But it seems like Punz didn't. Instead he decided to use a situation that happened completely privately and air it out to possibily millions of people. Ignoring the reason as to why Dream wasn't named in the first place in the original statements.

And why did he do it? Cause throwing Dream under the bus isn't hard and it wasn't the first time Punz did it. Punz used a moment where people were already talking badly about Dream to distract from his own allegations, saying he was never friends with Dream and held him at arm length.

Even when that obviously wasn't true, Punz was more than ready to LIE about it to make Dream look as bad as he could. He was ready to give up a year long relationship with a friend to safe is own ass.

That's not friendship. A friend doesn't do that to you and the fact that Dream can't see that HURTS. Because yeah, they seemed to have talked about it in private now, but why not doing that sooner? Why forgive someone who obviously didn't care about your feelings when writing that damn essay of a callout post that was obviously only deleted because people were memeing on it.

I am so so happy to know that Dream tries to always see the good in people. But he has to learn that not everyone is your friend, that no everyone can be your friend and that not everyone wants to be your friend nor deserves to be your friend. And Punz is one of those.

Again this is very parasocial but as someone who has given their own friends a lot of chances only to be disappointed over and over again, my heart aches for Dream.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I tried so hard not to be parasocial about it but this letter thing is fucking me up, man. I've written a few overly flattering letters to evil government officials before myself. but how did someone convince all these reasonable-seeming people (strangers that I do not know) to publicly sign this centrist-ass letter? I understand they probably got Taika Waititi and Jack Black with the everyone can share, peace and love on the planet earth wording, but Jordan Peele? what. how did that happen. it makes no sense to me.

Ok I'm gonna front load my position on the Israel-Palestine conflict before I answer this ask so that no one can accuse me of shit I didn't say. If you want to see what I have to say on the letter itself, scroll to the big font. I'm as anti-zionist as they come I don't think that governments should even exist at all, I consider Israel to be an illegitimate state the same way I consider the country I live in (USA) to be an illegitimate state. I think that if we're going to have countries at all, which we shouldn't, that country should be Palestine and individual Jewish people certainly should be welcome to move there for whatever reason they want, including religious, but that the people who already lived there shouldn't be displaced because of it. And if they wanted me to support Israel on the basis of Jewish people needing somewhere to go after the Holocaust, they should have put Israel in Europe in 1945 instead of in the Arabian Peninsula in 1918. I tend to think the hard core zionists who aren't Jewish are trying to deport diaspora Jewish people somewhere based on the way I have heard other goyim speak about Israel. I am sympathetic to Jewish people who believe this has nuance but ultimately I cannot condone the displacement of Palestinians. That position might lose me followers but really I don't care.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way

(This first paragraph is for everyone who's out of the loop and has only seen the Tumblr posts about this issue, Anon does seem to know what I'm about to say) I do also think this whole thing with the letter is being blown out of proportion a little bit? That's not to say it's a good letter, it does contain language which blames Hamas for the conflict which is the western propaganda line so that countries like the United States and Britain don't have to admit that they caused and are funding this whole operation because they hate brown people. However celebrities are rubes who fall for government propaganda all the fucking time. What the letter itself actually calls for is Biden to facilitate the release of Israeli hostages. I consider this letter to be the vaguely Zionist equivalent of that time all those celebrities got on zoom and sang imagine because COVID was happening. I certainly doubt that the man who produced Get Out and Us supports the genocide and I also question whether the man who directed Reservation Dogs does either. Most likely they were asked "will you sign a letter calling for the release of Israeli hostages?" And they said "well releasing hostages sounds nice."

(this paragraph is for anon) Despite the fact that I think "these 70 celebrities condone Palestinian genocide" is incredibly reductive I would encourage you to see these people as human beings, and more specifically idiot millionaires who are out of touch. I believe that Taika Waititi understands the Maori struggle and generally tries to be a nice liberal but ultimately he is a man who grew up in the 80s with a lot of money who has an interest in keeping that money. His gaff transphobia tweets (which I didn't think were that bad considering he made it in 2013 and wasn't even talking about trans women, but they were still transphobic) and his pearl clutching during the BLM riots made this abundantly clear (both of these incidents are Taika Twitter originals that people have sent me trying to get me to hate him and I saw both of them and was like "that's what I thought you'd say old man"), and the fact that he married Rita "blackfish" Ora. I'm way less plugged in to what Jordan Peele is doing because I've never had an anon send me his call out post but I'm going to assume that the same thing is true of him: he understands the struggle of black people in the United States, despite this moment of basedness I probably politically disagree with him on many many counts. As for Jack Black he donates to autism speaks so he's coming for me and the Palestinians. Although that said so does Gaga and I'm still very much a fan of her.

I've basically had to come to terms with the fact that no celeb that I like the work of agrees with me about politics because all of them are rich and I am a communist. That's not going to stop me from liking their work, it's not going to stop me from bothering some of them at cons when I get the chance. Because again they're just guys. And most guys are idiots. I am an idiot about a lot of things. We don't expect Taika Waititi or Jordan Peele to know about every conflict in the world we expect them to make entertaining and perhaps insightful movies. I am not here because I think Taika agrees with me on all things. I am here because I want to watch a rom com about gay men who murder people, one of whom is just like me for real.

Anyway do your research

[mobiused]

is it too late to ask for said actual nuanced statement about your feelings on the way loona has split up and how you feel about supporting each of the factions as a fan

No :0 Okay well this posted early accidentally come back when I've edited it with the answer you seek; edit here it is

As anybody who follows me and actually listens to what I post knows, yes, I was disappointed with the choice that the 5 members in modhaus made.

The reason is of course Jaden Jeong's involvement in the conditioned that caused the members' suffering. I honestly do not care to "respect" the members' choice when, firstly, they're public figures, which means they're in a position where they open themselves to judgement, having surpassed what it means to be a regular person into an overman; hence, idol (no this isn't lore) (yes it is) and it is parasocial to think we as fans owe them the kind of blind devout respect that is reserved for people you know and are close to. We, of course, need to respect them as people even if they are idols which leads to my next point. Secondly, they're adult women who are capable of making their own choices. It is only patronizing, infantilising and self delusionary to cheer them on for every choice they make void of criticism. If I respect them as a person, that means I care about the decisions they make enough to be able to disagree with them. The only decisions you respect unconditionally are from your God (if you have faith) or someone who has got you fucked up.

of course all of this is only my opinion to be clear ^^;

So to continue, I don't respect their decision to join modhaus. However I do accept their decision and think of them no less as people - that's very important to me for people to be aware of! That may have sounded harsh but I only have strong feelings because I care.

When it comes to modhaus vs ctd, to ME it feels like a faction of people who are willing to ignore a history of mistreatment to blindly follow their idols because that's what idolatry is versus a faction who are distrusting and reluctant to give a second chance to a man (and his company) who have done them wrong. And of course bias vs bias.

Regarding why I don't hold ctd to the same standard as modhaus; one is an established company with another group under their belt and the other is a company that formed because Hyunjin asked really niceys. The "mistakes" that modhaus are making, like having Jaden and doing NFTs and having loss of the members' autonomy to give fans control as a business model (to be frank, I don't care about missing english subtitles or those small things, its whatever) are much more severe to me than CTD fumbling the bag in ways that only affect them financially. Sorry I don't care about them picking venues that are too big for them on a concert, I don't think it's that big a deal.

In this way, I think cloo vs ourii, ctd vs modhaus, is much more than the preference people have for the idols actually in the companies but rather an ideological thing. Can you put the past (that isn't yours to begin with) behind you to stan a group with no guarantee of being completely safe and in control, or are you going to be wary of a company that has done little to demonstrate how it's protecting the girls' best interests. At least that's how it looks to me.

And it's weird how we dont see Chuu & Yves akgaes right? And I think that's because the companies are such unknown elements that it's nowhere near as polarising to support them, like there's no reason not to.

And I do think there is a lot of us vs them going on. (some) People who are artms member stans who have become full-blooded ouriis have made it their mission to find any excuse to bring CTD down - maybe out of a guilty conscience vengeance for the criticism that modhaus has been getting. And the same can definitely be said about cloos who just want more reasons to shit on modhaus even though the problems are inconsequential (see? I'm not wholly biased)

In summary I just think it's sad that it's had to have been this divisive. If the loona members weren't in the position that they were - that no company was willing to accept them bar modhaus, and the members who got out first didn't feel obligated to go to modhaus, since CTD - and other places - weren't an option, things maybe would've turned out differently. Or maybe they wouldn't have, and there will always be fanwars regardless.

[yuurivoice]

I think alot of people are worried they'll make something you won't like because alot of creators are very stingy about what they're fans can and cannot make. (Not including NSFW or Ai creations)

Alot of fans don't wanna upset or make their favorite creator angry because their fanart doesn't adhere to their rules

Oh yeah, I get it and I appreciate the care. I try to elaborate and break down my perspective because in my experience there's some murky waters you can get into as a creator when you've got a budding community of really excited fans and you're really active engaging with the fan works. I've been through the ringer in that regard, from the ground up, so my approach is based on those years of experience.

I think a fandom of any sort should just be able to fool around and do their thing. While I have things I do and don't love........that shit ain't really my business, and no one should be creating anything on the basis of me seeing or feeling some type of way about their stuff. While the cozy we're all friends/family community vibes are fun and can be awesome, that shit will eventually lead to headaches that I don't want to deal with. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate or am not interested or anything, but I'm very wary of how excitable fans might react if one person gets "attention" and they do not, etc.

Which to a lot of folks might sound silly and like something that doesn't happen. Bubba, I promise you it has, it could, and it will again. Forever. Especially for something as personal and intimate as this particular niche.

90% of folks have always been excellent but the 10% has been nuclear and gross and not a great time. After a few trips around that block, I don't have the time and energy for any of that.

That might be a jarring change of pace for newer followers who might have other experiences and expectations from other communities and junk. Might even look like I'm a dick because I'm not falling over myself to engage with every post, but I've been in the trenches, have had uncomfortable parasocial interactions, have had people get weirdly possessive jealous and intense, have had a long list of shit that I now have very particular personal policies in place to ward off.

Saying all that to say, I don't concern myself with what people are up to so long as they aren't outright stealing shit without credit and passing it off as their own, or doing really obscene shit to harass folks. Otherwise, I think it's healthiest for all parties involved if I'm not stressing over what strangers on the internet want to make and they're not worried they'll upset me.

Obviously every creator is different and your mileage may vary from case to case. Shoutout to the folks who haven't had to deal with that and those who are chill. Perhaps I'm overly cautious at this point but I'm cool with that.

Basically, I get why folks would worry, and I'm trying to make it clear why that ain't a thing around here. It's one thing when people very specifically bring stuff TO me, or ask me something anonymously etc, but if you're just posting? You should be free to do whatever, that's not my business and you should be posting because you're having fun...not wondering what my dumb ass is gonna think about it. 😂

[fairycosmos]

I'm sorry to do this bc I know you get so many ppl venting and you have your own shit to deal with and yet ppl on here constantly implicitly ask you to console them which is incredibly emotionally labour intensive. However all that being said. I found out my cat who is 9 but is very young looking and active and shows no sign of pain or suffering has large cell lymphoma (general prognosis 6-9 months) and I'm literally broken. She's my best friend. I've been through years where I've had no friends but I've always had her and she's everything to me and I've known a lot of cats who live to late teens so I had expected that for her and this has come out of nowhere and is just so soul destroying because she is my whole world and I love her so so much. she's literally saved my life (have been at the point of kms so many times but didn't for her) and now she probably wont be here next year and I don't know how to keep existing without her and I didn't know who else to tell. I really appreciate your kind and honest presence on this site it's very cleansing and healing and ik this is a parasocial thing to say/feel but you are like a friend to so many. so thanks. even just having a space to say this stuff is invaluable. You have helped and comforted and offered love and insight to so many people despite your own suffering. Much love to you, I hope the universe treats you with lots of kindness going forward.

i am so so sorry to hear this - sometimes i honestly can't believe how cruel life can be. i wish there was something tangible i could say that would make a change to what you're feeling but my experience with grief (all types of grief esp preemptive grief like what you're dealing with) has proven to me that words often ring hollow when you're going through it. i do want to offer some understanding and some comfort despite that, i just know it may be hard for you to register right now and that's alright. losing a pet is so so deeply painful and it's completely normal to be devastated and taken aback by this news - anyone would be. at the same time it sounds like your cat is deeply lucky to have you and to be loved so completely by someone. while what you're both going through is horrific, i am so glad she has you to take care of her and that she ended up having a wonderful life with you - the gift you have given her and continue to give her every day just by being her owner is huge and i hope you continue to remind yourself that as you confront there next few months. she is warm and fed and taken care of and she has the best chance of living longer with her condition bc of the care and love you continue to show her. i know this is much much easier said than done but please try to take it one day at a time and make every moment count with her - it's easy to get lost in the idea of losing her but she is still here and you still have time together, albeit not as much time as you both deserve. i can't stand how much of a gamble of luck everything seems to be and how horrible things happen to ppl and animals who truly deserve so much more - that anger, despair and incredulity still hits me day after day and i feel it very hard on your behalf rn. you have every right in the world to process that sense of feeling like your soul has been destroyed on whatever timeline works for you. as long as you continue to move forward, hour to hour or minute to minute despite it all.

are you able to talk to any friends/family about this? i only ask bc pet loss is one of the hardest things in the world to go through and i think having some sort of super system could make the days feel a little more manageable. if not, please feel free to message me and share updates, stories, vents etc about your cat and how you're doing - i lost my childhood dog a few yrs back and i do understand. it's such a heavy feeling to carry around with you all the time. i would also recommend joining a pet loss support group as another option too, bc so so many people sadly completely get what youre going through. i hope your little girl is doing OK today and that you are taking care of yourself as much as you feel able to as you process this news. if you need to break down, go to sleep, scream, punch pillows, be numb - that's alright. there's no wrong way to react to this. i just hope you give yourself some grace as you do. sending so so much love to you both - and thank you so much for the insanely kind words by the way. you didn't have to say that and it really made my night better that you did. so sorry you're in this position. X

[melrosing]

hi. we didn't interact before, but i've been following you for your asoaif takes for a good while now (your opinion is always treasured, it's kinda hard to find a good jaime poster, or at least i didn't have much luck).

when you first wrote about your dad's illness ngl my heart sank. it'll be 10 years this year since my mom passed from cancer, and knowing what you were about to go through, i wouldn't wish that on anybody. i didn't contact you then bc i didn't think it was my place to inquire or offer support. (maybe it isn't one now, then you can ignore all of this.)

what i wanted to say is - i am so sorry, it's such a relentless and unfair thing. the thing is that you think you'll be prepared - after all, children should bury their parents, it's the order of life and what not - and then you are not. it's such a profound state of emptiness and devastation, that i don't really know what to compare it to, i don't think it even can be compared. and the shitty thing is that you stay with this feeling for a long, long while. until it subsides, fortunately. but you can't get rid of it fully, i don't think. maybe it's a good thing, grief is a love not given, or how that saying goes.

i hope i won't sound parasocial and/or presumptuous (and if i do please forgive me, that was not my intention), but i hope you have a good support system to help you grief properly and you give yourself enough time to do it. your wellbeing should not come as a trade off for healing of others. on the same note, please don't apologise for posting whatever you want to post about your dad.

don't know how to finish this , but please, take care.

thank you so much for this message, I really really appreciate you taking the time to write this 🫂 and honestly it’s not presumptuous at all, I’ve sometimes felt like I’m kind of taking advantage of my lil fandom following to cry about this stuff on main but like…. idk the connection means a lot. I have great friends and family around me but sometimes hearing that someone you’ve never met before knows what this is like or hears what you’re saying?? that also means a lot. I don’t really know how to explain it exactly but it’s given me some clarity about all this.

but yeah apart from all that, cancer is a fucking beast and I’m so so sorry you lost your mum to it as well. losing a parent like this is such agony

[jae-bummer]

Seek Me Out

Request: I was wondering if you could have mingyu from seventeen comfort and hug a crying carat after her rude boyfriend shows up at a fan event and yells at her in front of everyone? This is inspired by a dream I had the other night.

Pairing: Seventeen Mingyu x Reader

Genre: Angst

.

"He just doesn't get it," you grumbled, pulling your knees to your chest. "I don't know if any guy ever will."

Sighing, you leaned against your best friend sitting on the ground beside you. The two of you had gotten picked to attend a fan sign event for your favorite group and you didn't want to waste your excitement by whining all over the place.

"Some guys just don't understand that you aren't thirsting after other men," your friend sighed, resting her cheek on the top of your head. "He's insecure in himself, so he gets angry when you show attention to them. He insults their looks, but most of the time, you don't even care about that. It's their talent and their personalities that really shine."

"Right," you said quietly before leaning away and shaking your head. "But today isn't about him! "

"Today is about us!" your friend grinned. "It's about celebrating the boys!"

"The boys!" you cheered as you both dissolved into a fit of giggles. If there is one thing you knew could turn your day around, it would be finally meeting Seventeen.

As if they had sensed your redirection of the conversation, the crowd around you kicked up into a frantic round of applause. You immediately rose to your feet with the rest of the fans and began clapping as well. On a small stage to the front of the room, the Seventeen members had begun filing in one by one. They each took a seat behind a long white table, ready to start the fan sign. With so many members smiling and looking genuinely happy to be there, you couldn't help it as the smile started to spread to your face too. It really was going to be a good day after all.

"Y/N!" you heard faintly above the clapping as it began to disseminate.

Furrowing your brows, you tried to focus on where the sound was coming from but froze as everyone began to take their seats again. It cleared your line of sight enough to where you could see your boyfriend charging through the rows of fans.

"Y/N!" he shouted again, the anger plain on his face.

Like a startled animal, you couldn't move. You couldn't even think of a single word that would stop him from launching this embarrassing rampage. Being a subconscious glutton for punishment, you found yourself glancing over to the stage to gauge everyone's reactions. The members of Seventeen that didn't look confused, looked horrified instead.

This gave you the spark of confidence you needed to move forward, meeting your boyfriend in the middle. Grabbing his elbows, you pushed him to the side of the room where you could hopefully have whatever discussion he was aiming for in private.

"What are you doing?" you hissed between your teeth. You attempted to keep a placid smile on your face as you felt the heat of everyone's gaze.

"What am I doing?" he gasped. "What are you doing?!"

"I told you I was going to an event today..."

"Oh yeah, some event!" he shouted. "Spending more time and effort on people who don't even know you exist."

In the fuzzy corners of your hearing, you thought someone had called for security.

"Hey," you said quietly, trying your hardest to de-escalate the situation. "Can we talk about this when I get home later?"

"Oh, after you're done cheating on me?" he laughed a little too loudly. "Seriously, Y/N, slobbering after thirteen men? I thought you were better than that."

"Look loser, it's time to go," your best friend piped up as she joined the conversation, moving protectively to your side.

"I'll go when Y/N comes with me!" he yelled. "Aren't I more important than them?"

You looked over your shoulder to the Seventeen members you had grown to know on at least a parasocial level. They knew they had fans and loved them immensely. You weren't necessarily individually special, but you were a part of something that was. Without being a Carat, you wouldn't have the friends that were always there for you. You wouldn't have the support system you had fostered for years. They gave you a community and a reason to focus on something positive. They had gifted you with so much without really even knowing who you were.

You winced as you acknowledged quite a few of the boys were still watching you. A couple had even decided to get up and walk across the stage, anger now painted on their handsome features as well.

"Excuse me sir, do you have a ticket for this event?" a burly security guard asked, finally appearing on the scene.

"No, but my partner does," your boyfriend grumbled, motioning vaguely in your direction. "We were just leaving."

Grabbing you roughly by the upper arm, the whole crowd gasped in response. At this point, you could see two or three members of Seventeen now getting held back by their own security as they attempted (in vain) to deal with your boyfriend themselves.

"He was just leaving," your friend clarified with a nod, wrenching your boyfriend's hand from your arm. "Come on, Y/N."

Steering you back to your position in line, you didn't look back as your boyfriend yelled. "If you don't come with me, this is the end for us! Don't come crying to me in a few days when you miss everything we had!"

With the loud slam of a heavy door on the opposite side of the room, you knew your nightmare was at least semi-over. You grimaced as you waited for the eventual outcome of you being kicked out as well.

Luckily after a few moments, music began to filter through the room and the fan event had actually began. It seemed as if no one was concerned with you staying there, so you quietly thanked whatever Gods were watching out for you.

"Don't let him ruin it," your best friend nodded, rubbing the sides of your upper arms in an attempt to get you excited again. She reached up to wipe carefully at your cheeks, trying to dry the tears that you hadn't even realized had fallen. "We're still meeting Seventeen!"

"Yeah, and they likely think I'm an idiot now," you grumbled, crossing your arms. "Sure, they'll remember me, but as the person who started a scene at their event."

"You know what?" your friend sighed. "They probably will."

You shook your head and widened your eyes. "You agree?!"

"Of course not!" she laughed, smacking you lightly. "So stop saying it if you don't want me to."

Taking a deep sigh, you breathed it out slowly in an attempt to calm yourself. "Okay, fiiine."

The following minutes went by in a whirlwind. While you were busy mapping out every possible worse case scenario in your mind, the line moved forward closer and closer to your inevitable doom.

Eventually it was your time to begin the cycle through the members. You resolved to make the most out of each interaction.

You sat in front of S.Coups first. The conversation had been awkward, but overall pleasant. The same could be said for your interactions with both Vernon and Wonwoo following. No one seemed to have noticed you as the source of the earlier incident, or at least they were too polite to mention it.

That was until you slid into the chair placed before one of your favorite members, Kim Mingyu.

Smiling shyly as you locked eyes, he stared intensely at you before looking down at the album he was signing. Looking up again, he opened his mouth, but then closed it.

"Uh, hi!" you managed with a small wave. "I'm Y/N. I hope you've been having a good day."

It took another few seconds for Mingyu to really focus on a response. "I'm not one to tell you how to live your life," he said quietly, looking at you through his lashes. "But surely you're done with him, right?"

The forced smile slid from your face, and you began to feel the tears well up. Mingyu watched you closely, quickly realizing that what he said hadn't hit the way he was expecting.

"No, no, no," he cooed, grabbing both of your hands in his. "Please don't cry."

"I'm so sorry," you squeaked. "I didn't mean to ruin the event."

Mingyu's face dropped. In an instant, he was moving to the other side of the table. Despite the staff attempting to stop him, he swept you into his strong arms and immediately cradled your head. "Nooo, you didn't ruin anything."

"I d-did," you hiccuped. Without a thought of who was actually holding you, you buried your face into his sweater and let out a sob. Gripping into the fabric, you took a deep breath in and were surrounded by his comforting scent and warmth.

"Breathe," Mingyu whispered into your hair. "Everything is okay, I promise."

Nodding slightly, you focused on your breathing as Mingyu guided you with his own. Attempting to match his, you eventually felt your wits return to you and horror start to seep in. You were snotting all over THE Kim Mingyu.

Attempting to pull back, you were surprised when Mingyu refused. Continuing to keep his arms around you, he said quietly. "That's better. Now let me be the one to apologize."

Leaning back you looked up into his eyes. Confused, you couldn't help but ask, "Why?"

"I should have known better than to bring it up so soon after it happened," he hummed. "You probably didn't even really have time to process it before you had to come up and talk to us."

"No, I, what?" you gasped, still lost as to why this was turning into his fault.

"You said your name was Y/N, right?" he asked, finally stepping away from you. Tugging on the sleeves of his sweater, he created sweater paws, and dabbed lightly at your face. You knew he'd likely have makeup all over the pale colored fabric in a manner of seconds.

You nodded, unsure of how to salvage this conversation. You had hoped for something so much more normal and unassuming, but the memory of being in one of your favorite person's arms would stick with you for awhile.

"Well Y/N," he nodded, a small smile appearing on his lips. "I know you think you did something wrong and we'll remember you for all the wrong reasons, but I want you to know that we'll remember you for the truth. As the person who was strong enough to stand up to their bully, even when that bully was someone you cared about."

Well, so much for not crying again.

Mingyu's smile grew even larger as he dabbed at the new tears. "I hope you stay our fan, Y/N. I want you to know that I won't ever forget you. And when you have the opportunity to meet us again, you seek me out, okay? I'll always be waiting with a hug."

[faithfromanewperspective]

coming to the realisation that we generally don't know what to do as a society when artists share hard experiences in their songs. the fans being a little parasocial and dramatic about it? that's how fandom works when you see yourself in it like. a lot a lot. the pity? ends up coming usually from new fans who see the fans' reaction from the outside, know nothing about the artist to be able to place it in their life and what they've been through (and are thus caught off guard) and react to their first encounter with said art. no one actually wants to be pitied, they just want to be honest. and we're so used to a society of faking being fine that honesty, even about completely normal (and yet stigmatised) things sounds dramatic. feels uncomfortable. does this sound familiar? parents when their child tells them what they're going through either going 'it's not that bad everyone experiences that' or I Must Fix It And Fix It ASAP.

like I know it feels uncomfortable at first. but you can just sit there and be like 'cool, this person went through something that vaguely inspired them to make this emotional art. something that surely less talented and creative people go through every day.' and then you can see the reaction of some fans and be like 'they either relate or they care about this artist really dramatically' and decide if this is something you want to get in on or just let it by and go find the kind of entertainment you enjoy. go through the world being kind to others and yourself because there are people out there going through things you don't need to know about and sometimes the best thing you can do is care for yourself so you don't get bitter.

and i'm not here to tell you there isn't a place and time for criticisms, but when you get close to policing how dramatically someone expresses their emotions and how publicly they share the processing of their experience? that's when it's time to look at yourself. go 'is it really harming anyone or might it possibly be helping?' and when you do, remember, there's no 'taking away from real victims' if it's art made for real victims or whoever wants to to insert their own story into it. which most art is!! and 99% of the time when people make it about something in the artist's life? that's the fandom. fans get a bit parasocial! they get an attachment to the artist and end up knowing a lot of their personal details. which no one else has to.

but invalidating people's experience doesn't actually help anyone. you probably had it happen to you before. it probably helped you put together a framework in your head of what you are and aren't allowed to feel upset over. and i ask you: does this framework help you? or does it just leave you frustrated? you can throw it away you know. of course you don't have to be emotional publicly but you can validate what actually hurts you for yourself. you'll feel freer and more equipped to deal with trauma and handle other people's emotions when you do.

and as for whatever someone else might be going through or not? you don't need to validate it either, to take the authority to do either of those things. it's likely you'll never know all the details unless it's someone you're very close with. in fact, sometimes when you hear things there is misunderstanding of information!! such as if it is something someone said once and then changed their mind about later, but you only hear the first statement that went viral and another thing they did years and years later with everything in between missing that frankly, doesn't make sense with the previous thing. I feel like I've noticed people treating anyone we don't personally interact with (yet because of culture end up hearing about anyway) a similar way that it's still acceptable to treat children. and neither is helpful. the person who probably needs to heal is you, and that's okay! we're pretty much all in that boat, and it's a pretty good boat to be in.

[weirdsht]

My Beautiful Stranger, My Soulmate - Cale/Fem! Reader

notes: for some reason i have a thing for continued love, maybe the reason why i'm single is because my soulmate is in another timeline/dimension /hj ... anyways this was the fic that i've wanted to write for the longest time but had no time for hehe

tags: female reader, novel spoilers (KRS' past and some war stuff), angst? not sure, continued love-esc, told in Cale's pov, one-sided admiration, strangers, Cale is whipped, mentions of abuse

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

Buy Me Dessert

Navigation Masterlist

Everyone wants to have something constant in their life. Something that would keep them grounded. Something that would give them a sense of normalcy when everything else feels crazy. 

For most, a person will be their constant and their pillar. Choosing a loved one in their life that supports and cares for them. Just someone they can go through during the tough times in their life.

Kim Rok Soo’s case is the same… for the most part, that is.

The difference that sets him apart from the average person is the fact that his constant person is a stranger.

He knows what she looks like. Knows her mannerisms. Has seen her for almost his entire life.

Yet he doesn’t know her name. Doesn’t know what her speaking voice sounds like. Has never had a personal interaction with her. 

Is this considered to be a type of parasocial relationship? Maybe, but Rok Soo can’t be bothered to find out.

Kim Rok Soo’s first interaction with his constant was when he was a child. During the short while of his life where he was happy, complete. When his loving parents are still alive. That was the first time he saw her.

It was during daycare. The daycare is separated into morning and afternoon sessions. His parents had enrolled him for the morning sessions.

At first, he didn’t want to go. Even as a kid he had preferred the peace his house could offer compared to socializing with the outside world. But alas, it wasn’t like he had a choice, his parents had already enrolled him so he had to go. Plus either way, he has to attend school sooner or later.

That’s why he goes, albeit reluctantly. He participates in whatever antics the teachers/caretaker does even when all he wants to do is go back home. For him, daycare was extremely tiring.

However, all that tiredness was wiped away when dismissal arrived. And no, it wasn’t just because he was excited to see his parents and go back home.

It was actually because of the girl he saw. She was a cute kid, wearing a cute dress with her hair tied in those typical twin-tailed hairstyles girls her age would have. Rok Soo didn’t see her in daycare so she must be part of the afternoon session.

Since then, he looked forward to attending daycare just to catch a glimpse of her during dismissal.

Unfortunately, Kim Rok Soo’s life took a turn for the worse at such a young age. Tragedy had befallen upon him. His parents died and his uncle is a piece of shit that hits children. It was no surprise that he had forgotten about that pretty girl in daycare.

The universe seems to not want him to forget though.

Because then why else would he see her again in the playground he runs to whenever his uncle's house is too much? Why else she be there when they were far from the town where Rok Soo attended daycare?

‘It must be fate’

That’s what little Rok Soo thinks to himself as he watches her and her friends play on the monkey bars. He just watches them from inside the castle fortress thing that no one ever uses. The sand underneath him served as his cushion.

Sometimes he wants to join, he wants to befriend her too. But he isn’t really one for moving around, for playing such physically tiring games. Even if he was, his injuries from his beatings are stopping him from doing so. Hence why he was content with playing with the sand beneath his feet while watching her laugh as she tried to not get caught by her friend during a round of tag.

Despite what Rok Soo says, his constant isn’t as steady in his life as he wants her to be. There are long periods of his life where he wouldn’t see her.

Which was why he was internally overjoyed when he saw her not only taking the same bus as him but also going to the same library. They seem to have the same schedule, and the same free time allocated for reading books in the library. The library and the novels they held were already Rok Soo’s safe space, his constant’s presence only made it more heavenly.

Kim Rok Soo knows that his constant doesn’t know who he is. Even if he remembers seeing her almost every day, in her perspective he was just a random, faceless stranger.

However, sometimes there are incidents where he would think otherwise. Is he being delusional? Absolutely, but who would call him out? The voices in his head? His already used to blocking them out.

One incident was after the day she didn’t go to the library. Rok Soo was a bit concerned as this was the first time she skipped her usual library session. The next day after that, someone had left a canned drink on his desk. It’s the drink she usually buys from the vending machine. As a matter of fact, Rok Soo had never seen anyone else pick that drink except for her.

So sue him for being delusional, but that was definitely from his constant.

When the cataclysm started, Kim Rok Soo was sure he would never see her again.

But the universe had other plans.

No matter what happens, fate seems to be pulling them together. Intertwining their destinies.

Kim Rok Soo should be happy and should be overjoyed that he gets to see her.

However, he isn’t.

In fact, he wished he hadn’t seen her.

For maybe then he could’ve lived in ignorant bliss.

“Hurry and go! I’ll hold things down over here!”

Rok Soo’s constant commanded firmly. This is the first time he has heard her speak, and god does she sound heavenly. However, this isn’t the time for this. The eclipse is still happening, barrage after barrage of monsters is still coming after every shelter.

Still, he can’t help but admire her for a second. She’s so strong, so cool, so put together.

He just wishes she hadn’t been so selfless.

The skinny man couldn’t help but hold onto the hem of his clothes. Staring at her as if begging her to come with him using his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. You should go first, I’ll follow soon.”

Lies

Kim Rok Soo knows that she won’t be following them anytime soon. He is well-aware of the fact that after this the next time he would be reunited with her is in the afterlife.

That’s why he tries to convince her even though he knows he will ultimately fail.

Years passed after that and Kim Rok Soo never saw his constant again. How could he when she passed away? When she sacrificed herself for his sake and others.

Despite the accumulation of the time and people Rok Soo met, he never forgot her. He could never forget her. Sometimes he would just sit in silence, remembering how her voice sounded. Relishing the first and last words she spoke to him.

This did not change even after he became a team leader. As a matter of fact, the only change is that now he’s mourning for three people, instead of two.

His longing for her was strong. It did not disappear even after becoming Cale Henituse. He would still think of her despite turning over a new leaf, literally turning over a new life.

Cale longs to hold her again. This time not just the hem of her clothing but her hand. He wishes to have a proper conversation with her. Longs to ask her why she likes that canned drink that no one else drinks so much.

He longs to get to know her outside of the things he has observed. Wants to be the cause of her smile, and not merely watch others do it in his stead.

But alas, he couldn’t.

For not only is she dead, but his in another world.

Or at least that’s what he thought until he saw a familiar face standing up for him during the noble's meeting.

“Personally, I think we should just be grateful to Commander Cale Henituse. If it weren’t for him and his people then our kingdom would be in graver danger that we would not even be able to conduct such a meeting.”

She looked exactly how Cale remembered her. Her voice still has that same firmness in it, telling everyone in the room how she also wields power despite being younger than all of them.

“That’s correct young master. However, there are still some things that should be addressed. Such as that necromancer–”

“She has a name, it’s Mary. And she’s not a mere necromancer, she’s a revered hero of our kingdom. One of the people who had defended our kingdom from the Indomitable Alliance.”

Cale didn’t know he could fall deeper after all these years, but he just did.

“Due all respect my lady, but you are still young. I think your emotions are getting the best of you. Mind you that you are not even the heir of your household.”

The ugly noble tried to retaliate to which Cale’s constant only raised her eyebrows at.

“Oh my, how disgraceful… A noble pulling the age card just because his nearing his expiry age. Now forgive my disrespect, but you started it first… How dare you look down on me, the top 1% contributor to this Kingdom’s economy? I have built a name for myself outside of my family’s influence while all you have is your family’s standing. And emotional? Really? Of course, I’m emotional, the lives of our citizens are at stake and all you mongrels seem to care more about powerplay like the hungry bastards you all are. Is it because you’re not on the front lines? Is it because you think you can do what Commander Cale Henituse did? Then I dare you to do so at this very moment. Go to the frontlines and defend this kingdom you all claim to love very much!”

A deafening silence followed the young woman’s speech. Even Alberu had to take a double take. Everyone is tense, they don’t know what to say. Can’t refute what she said.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, Your Highness, Commander Cale. I simply cannot tolerate such disrespect when you are pulling most of the weight during these trying times. Please, let us proceed with our original agenda.”

Her poise never left her, even as she tore down every noble inside the room. Contrarily, the more she speaks, the more it looks as though she also possesses Dominating Aura.

At her insistence, the meeting got back on track. Most of the nobles were already silenced because of her, Alberu and Cale only had to deliver the finishing blow before wrapping everything up.

Once everything was done and settled Cale made plans to talk to his constant. Get to know her name, and finally interact with her. He knows that in her eyes his just a stranger. Someone who has no personal connections with her. But that doesn’t stop the redhead. He can always start forging their connection right here, right now.

He’ll do anything to not let her slip from his grasp once again.

And so the commander slithers his way towards where she is. He already had it all planned out; he’ll start the conversation by thanking her for standing up in Mary’s defence before asking for her name, and then he’ll let things flow naturally from there.

Despite running the simulations in his head, the only thing he could do once he was face to face with her was standing there. Face marred with shock and mouth unable to form words?

The cause?

Oh nothing much, it’s just because of her greeting.

“It’s nice to finally meet my beautiful stranger from Earth whose name I still don’t know. I’m [Name] [Lastname], may I know Commander Cale Henituse’s Earth name?”

[groovesnjams]

"Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan

MG:

Wowzers, a lot has changed in Chappell Roan's career trajectory since we last checked in on her for SOTY 2023, and yet, the only piece of new music around which to discuss all the much is this one, standalone single. "Good Luck, Babe!" sees Chappell pivot from the 90s radio revival that defined Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess and into Kate Bush-ier theatrics, befitting of her Baroque make-up and wigs. I love it. It's a step forward and a step away from the other artists collaborating with Dan Nigro, who has an increasingly signature sound. (It's not the Jack Antonoff drums yet, but let's be honest, it's getting there.) Artistically, she's doing fantastic, she should be proud, she'll have hordes of imitators soon. But that last part, well, I can't see that sitting well with the sort of artist who releases multiple TikToks talking to people she insists she would like to stop talking to her. Chappell's having one of the absolute most gravity-defying rockets to fame I've ever seen and it's clearly taking its toll on the real woman behind the moniker and under the drag. The scolding directives will only make the parasocial bond stronger (I mean, come on, that is...that is mother) and she's riding a monster wave from "I'm overwhelmed by my career" to "I don't even want to be famous! I don't care about hits, or whatever!" to "I'm canceling a bunch of Euro dates last minute so I can do VMAs shit." I don't know, like, good luck, babe!

DV:

I do tend to agree with MG that it's probably not helping Chappell to post about how much she doesn't want attention, but a) I'm not sure it'd help if she deleted her socials, either and b) I'm not sure she has a choice - remember a few years back when everyone was complaining about being forced to make TikToks? Why would we assume that era has ended? We know labels are using bullshit metrics like "Spotify listeners"; there's no reason to assume they aren't also requiring a certain level of social media engagement. I think Chappell's in an incredibly tough situation, where her fame has exploded at a rate that her management wasn't prepared for and hasn't kept up with. She's being forced to deal with scrutiny and make choices at a level that most artists build to and have support through, and she clearly isn't getting that support. Fame in general seems like a nightmare; fame of this particular sort seems unfathomably worse.

Anyway.

What I really love about "Good Luck, Babe", a weaker song in many ways than any others by Chappell that we've covered, is how it fully leans into its bridge. For a moment there it seemed like we were going to lose bridges entirely! Like they were going to be trimmed out of the pop music idiom in favor of another chorus, a shorter runtime, or both. But they're coming back to us - or at least, Chappell's practically built her career on them. And she's written what might be her best one here, an angry dagger thrust into the song's subject, an irresistible counter to the ambivalence of the verses. Because as gay as it is, until that bridge "Good Luck, Babe" isn't sure how it feels about compulsory heterosexuality - sarcastic, sincere, sorrowful? - and the balancing act Chappell pulls off is a measure of how carefully it's been written. It's complicated! And the song acknowledges that, and could easily have slid into a another chorus and ended ambivalently. But it doesn't. Which means "you're nothing more than his wife" hits like a lightning bolt, and Chappell's howled "I told you so!" is the thunder that follows. It's an incredible moment, one of the best of the year, in a song that could have benefited from almost any other producer.

[junkartie]

I'm hearing 2 opinions on Erdogan and idk I wanted to ask you bcs I got both of them from non-natives. So the first says that he IS a good president, there is just too many outside factors trying to bring him down. And the second told me that he WAS a good a help for the country until he decided to care about some other things (colonisation ?) which eventually led to the current downfall. Maybe both are right or both are wrong, what do you think?

(can you tell I love political discussions because I don't I'm just really invested cause you're one of my fav blogs hehe)

Non natives love to defend Erdo which is why us Turks have a whole term for them. Most of it however DOES stem from the second option being true.

Erdogan was in fact a very good leader in his first few years of power, now my family personally never liked him, he technically was in power on the sidelines for 10 years until he became president 10 yrs go. He did many things like make hospitals and healthcare way more accessible, fixed a lot of roads and built bridges etc. Now you may go “jay, isnt that what a normal president is supposed to do ?” Well, yes. But the guy before him didnt do a whole lot, so him doing his literal job was enough to convince people he was good enough to keep around.

As time went on he started to take a way harsher approach. Slowly but surely the price and tax on everything went up. Religion started to be the hottest topic in turkey despite us being a secular country on paper.Slowly festivals became too loud, protests were bothersome, pride parades were sinful, gays werent considered people, music after 12 wasnt allowed, Eurovision was something too embarrassing for our country to take place in, alcohol was a luxury that only the desperate & sinful tried to buy, women were not obedient enough, the legal age to get married was too high, sex before marriage became a big topic, rapists and murderers would walk freely, femicide got to a brand new high and a whole lot more.

This all happened slowly and gradually. By the time we thought to speak up on any of this the i-don’t-even know, 60% yearly inflation rate had worn us down. A dollar was no longer 2.5 TL, it was close to 25. Nothing could be bought with minimum wage. Whatever you bought, you bought a second one for the govt in tax (a phone here costs twice the price of one in america). People who vote for him mostly do so because all media outlets are heavily censored and totally in his favor. He has control of literally everything. Literally!! He hosted a referendum where he legally was given so much power that he can change whatever he wants on a whim. He will confidently lie out of his teeth and tell his supporters that the reason everything is so expensive is because of his opposition (who have virtually no power) + its fine because even if we’re poor we’re closer to god and his supporters eat it up because they have some fucked up parasocial relationship with him.

Right now we’re screwed beyond belief. The election was rigged in his favor but despite everything he either wasnt able to end it on the first round or intentionally didnt so he could win by a higher margin on the next round. The house is fucked, the opposition lost a ton of seats to highly religious islamic fanatics who straight up advocate for sharia law. That and the president literally had an alliance with a terrorist organization who want 15 year olds to get married, theyre also in the house. Its great.

Now we wait for the 28th, but its going to take a miracle for Erdogan to lose. I have virtually 0 hope at this point. One thing is foreigners defending him, but any turk who does so deserve everything they get. I truly hope anyone who voted for him suffer a fate worse than death (at this rate, they will). It may sound harsh, but ive seen no one in power except for this absolute sorry of an excuse, cunt of a man. My teens and childhood was wasted away with terrorist attacks and a staged coup, along with a power hungry man who made every walking day of my life worse than what it could have been.

Basically, wish us the best of luck i guess lol.

[f1-birb]

tbh i get it bc i have a chronic illness that keeps me at home quite often so i spend a lot of time online myself. and like i wouldn't say i was this level parasocial where i was taking low blows at people i don't even know's personality because frankly that's just weird and creepy, but like i would definitely get physically ill over quali or let one little thing go wrong have me so anxious that i could not find happiness in anything else.

theres so many more constructive uses of time. I have a much healthier relationship with f1 this year because i spend time doing other things. i've been reading a lot. i've been using some online resources to learn spanish. hell, i've even started dabbling in writing to turn my enjoyment of f1 into something more productive than these weird parasocial relationships where fans try to assume they know them and their personalities and who they are allowed to be friends with.

some of these people have (and i'm not judging, as i said before there definitely was a point in time where i was as well) straight up unhealthy relationships with this sport and the drivers they supposedly support (yet spend much more time focusing on the ones they hate for whatever reason)

I don't necessarily mean like with the sport, trust me I get stressed to the point of nausea over quali, and I distinctly remember last year turning the Vegas race off as soon as I knew Lando was (mostly) okay after his crash and launching the remote across the room

sports do that

what I mean more is as you point out, it is the increase in genuinely parasocial behaviour - the increase in hate, the death threats, the assumptions that people know how people are beyond the glimpses we see of them either during race weekends or posted on their own social media accounts

the surge of people shitting on him for saying "Seb Vettel" as if it wasn't an extremely well known incident and acting like Seb was gonna praise them for defending his honour when man most likely didn't care one bit, or trying to insult Lando/his intelligence by saying it had to just be a dig at Seb because there's now way Lando would actually remember that race like

or the people acting like Max at 26 years old can't make his own choices about who his friends are, or his partner, or his career, and that he needs to be protected from Lando as if they've not known each other since Lando was like 3ft tall and clearly get along extremely well and oh yeah, know each other properly

not to sound like a grandma or a broken record but it's everywhere now, not just F1 or sports in general, it's actors, it's musicians, it's internet personalities, it's fucking everywhere

it's a tricky lesson to learn but boy it's fucking great when you learn it - let. things. go. if they do not serve you, or purpose, or your anon message to a blog who posted what you think is bullshit about your special little guy is gonna be like arguing with a brick wall? let it go. block. delete. move on. picking battles is so so so helpful and I beg people learn it along with going outside more - multiple health benefits to that one, and if you can't go outside for whatever reason then find something else that serves you positively because jfc people seem to like being angry nowadays and it's just exhausting

find joy and not the bullshit "I love being a hater" but genuine joy

[goldenpinof]

Hi. original alienation anon here. I'm happy to report that my fears (so far) are unfounded :)

I'm going to try to explain why I found dd to be alienating as succinctly as possible.

I get that he was basically trying to make the YT version of the Eric André show, but it didn't work for me for a number of reasons. Firstly, YT is not a good platform for that kind of content. The Eric André show is on a network that is known for bizarre, offensive shows. YT is not that. It's a personality-driven platform that runs on the parasocial relationships between creators and their audiences. Dan was also not the best person to pull that concept off. Eric André is and always has been known for his chaotic, rude, unlikable persona. Dan is not. He built an audience by being likable and relatable. So for him to suddenly do a total 180 and become this rude, mean, cold person was alienating to me and other viewers who had built a parasocial relationship with the person he presented himself as in his videos.

Secondly, and this is gonna sound harsh, Dan is not as deep as he thinks he is. DD isn't good satire. He basically just made the content he was supposed to be satirizing and dressed it up in this pretentious concept of a dystopian variety show. He clearly was pressured into making those videos to promote WAD and it shows. His commentary on the concepts he talked about was surface level. he didn't say anything that countless video essayists who are smarter and more educated than him haven't already said. I also agree with the person who said it felt overproduced and cheap at the same time.

My third and main problem with DD though, is how mean-spirited it often felt. I watch dnp for light-hearted entertainment. I don't want to watch someone I usually like being a dickhead to their friends and family for 20 minutes, whether it's joking or not. There were times when you could tell that the guest was uncomfortable, but Dan just didn't seem to care? The worst was Louise. I felt so much second-hand embarrassment watching that video. She clearly felt uncomfortable but Dan just kept pushing it. The cringiest part was when he said that thing about the 2012-2014 YT era being nostalgic and Louise said "it wasn't a good time for me. I had a 2 yr old and was going through a divorce." Yikes! That just made Dan come off like a self-absorbed, inconsiderate asshole to me. Obviously we don't know how Louise really felt or what went on behind the scenes but that video left a bad taste in my mouth and completely changed how I viewed Dan.

Here's my conclusion. I think Dan needs to play to his strengths. social commentary and irreverent comedy are not two of them. People like him mainly for 3 reasons; his ability to relate to others through his own personal struggles, his chemistry with Phil, and his aspirational relationship with Phil (whatever the nature of that relationship is). DD pretty much destroyed all of that in one fell swoop. Even though I think that was entirely intentional, it was a very, very bad move. He can't just toss his entire image in the fire and expect it to work out for him. Not without doing the work to win over a new audience, like say, Joji did when he went from being Filthy Frank to a serious, sad-boy musician. I'm glad he got the chance to try new things, even if they didn't work out, but I think he's smart for going back to doing what he's good at and I hope for our sake and his that he sticks to it.

I said succint and then this turned into a whole essay lol. Sorry. I know some people are not going to like what I said, but that's how I feel.

hi! so sorry it took me so long to get to this!

i agree with some things and disagree with others. just so people won't argue with me because of your perception of dd, i'll list disagreements (and the hardest agreements, i guess). but it's totally cool to feel what you feel, and youtube content is made for people to have different opinions and obviously, we have different reactions to intentional harshness and rudeness. also, i'm so so glad you gave dnpgames a chance! we're back and stronger than ever!!

putting under the cut to not disturb the dnpgames euphoria <3

i agree that youtube , and specifically Dan's main channel, wasn't the best place to put this type of content on. maybe his 2nd channel would have been better, but it would have given even less views. so like, the point? because now his main channel looks all over the place. the usual content flow was interrupted by a video trashing youtube and the whole conceptual series of dd. and even dd was interrupted by the 2nd wad trailer and the memes video. right now it looks, dare i say, ugly. if he ever returns to actual youtube content and not promo videos, he will have to swallow this hard pill.

your 2nd reason - agree. but i don't think it's a bad thing, considering the circumstances (dd being made under pressure to somehow promote wad. with limited time and budget). lots of people comment on the same things and happen to give the same remarks. it's fine, it's still interesting to hear. (ironically, that's youtube and its algorithm for you)

hard agree on Dan (almost) destroying his image, especially in relation to dnp™. but we're still here, he can't push us away no matter how hard he tries.

disagreements :))

i think the video with Louise was good. that comment about 2012-2014 (the prime Brit crew times specifically) being nostalgic - i mean, it IS. for some people more, for some people less. it can be nostalgic and not a good time equally. i have personal examples when it's both. and i rewatched that moment. Louise said, "I loved those years for the most part." Dan went on to question WHAT exactly she loved, and only then she had to specify that it wasn't actually that simple. Dan likes to say how simple life was "back then". "back then" being any time in the past lol. "simpler, better times" is a phrase i still quote, and it was said years ago (i don't even remember where). he was rude in the video, but not ruder than with others. motherhood is a more sensitive topic for Louise than for Dan and, may i say, the majority of us. but they are friends, and at the end of the day, she could literally say "shut the fuck up and stop" and that would be accepted.

i also think that Dan would be amazing at social commentary if you give him more time to prepare scripts and find the right tone. his liveshows are a good indicator of that. he wasn't trying to punch anyone with his words while delivering his thoughts. he was giving his opinions and explaining them. 2017 has so many amazing quotes from his liveshows. and none of them felt like dd, despite touching on politics, sexuality, mental health, youtube as a platform, our community, the internet as a job, etc. he can do that, he can comment and criticise without trying to prove something. dd had a concept though. he was that obnoxious character playing by "youtube rules". "youtube likes this, this and this. so i'm gonna do all of it, and you're gonna see how bizarre it looks thrown in your face at once and deal with it." social platforms' algorithms are dystopian, he's got a point. his version of satire isn't ideal and you can clearly see that dd was rushed. and that's unfortunate!

anyway, thank you so much for explaining your dd experience. i'm sure there are people who relate to it. i'm sorry, if i sound rude, or like, pushy. i'm not trying to be. actually, dd is probably the easiest topic to discuss because of how ambiguous it is (in a good way).

[torchickentacos]

In 2022, I really didn't do much besides online courses and medical stuff (lots of starting meds, them making me sicker, and stopping them) BUT tumblr was the highlight for me. WHich I KNOWWWW sounds like a lame thing to say, but I'm on year 3 almost of being locked down very intensely, see medical stuff above. And this has been my social outlet. I've had tumblr before but this is the first time I've CONNECTED with a community and made genuine friends. And not some like parasocial online whatever thing, like. genuine friends. Most, if not all of whom are seeing this post probably. I'm an extrovert cursed to her house 24/7, and this has been such a wonderful thing for me. For the first time this year since 2020, I've felt like a regular human being again with friends and a social life, even if it has to be different from most people. The point of this post is not to harp on how lonely/ill i've felt but rather to revel in it being uplifted from me in a lot of ways, to appreciate you all and this year for making me feel... normal, I guess.

So what did I do in 2022, other than feel sick and have friends, yay /genuine? This is the year I got fully back into the Hoenn Coordinator land brainrot (affectionate, positive). It's the year I cut my hair from ass length to shoulders, first cut since 2017, and I'm going even shorter in the new year. I got a cane and started using it. I started making art that looks pretty okayish I think. I finished like three oneshot fics which is, for me, actually not bad at all, one of which I accidentally tagged as underage and had a mini OH SHIT OH FUCK crisis over a week later when I noticed. I STARTED at least 100 fics, not kidding one little bit, fully serious. My computer broke and is still fucky but I make it work. I had a really good GPA until my math class happened, but even still it's nothing to look down on and they still send me the 'join the honor roll cult for 90 bucks' emails that I ignore. I had 4/5 posts go around, some i'm op, some reblog chains. Shuckle, villains who suck ass /positive, and fuck terfs comes to mind. Which is maybe not much in 365 days, but it works for me.

BUt mostly I just had fun, shitposted a lot, and felt like a social being for the first time in actual years, if only two of them. Love you guys. EVen the ones who are going to like this post and we've never spoken and you don't care about my personal life in which case why are you even reading this far but I love you anyways.

I wish you all a happy "2022 is over, HAPPY 2023"