#sounds expensive dude tf is that

[newwavesylviaplath]

Hiii ♥ Long time no see. Apologies for disappearing.

It's been a week or so since I last consulted my cards (I like to let some time pass by between one reading and another) so I checked them again and here were the results. I basically did 3 questions this time because my energy went from :D to :I

How does he feel about the 1st night of his new show? 5 cards: Knight of wands rx, 8 of pentacles, 5 of pentacles rx, 3 pentacles, 3 of cups rx

Soooo, okay. There's a lot to unpack here. The Knight of wands rx tells us about a plan or project that didn't go as expected, and if I'm ot mistaken, someone on X said that there lots of empty seats during his performance. The 8 of pentacles tells me he worked A LOT on this thing, he really put his best effort into making this show the best he could. 5 of pentacles rx: he's confident that this will make him a lot of money. If he had any financial issues, this show will make him bounce back form that situation. He also feels like his effort will not go unnoticed/his hard work will pay off (3 of pentacles). BUT he will have to be wary of the gossip in his field of work (3 of cups rx). I'd advice him to be careful of what he says and who he talks to. Big time gossip could be a constant for him.

3/5 pentacles cards during this question. Dude is on a mission: getting moneyyy (as he should - that divorce settlement won't pay itself lmao)

What does he feel about his rs? (Or in other words, what can he expect future-wise?) 4 cards: high priestess rx, the tower, the magician, 9 of pentacles rx. Oracle card: you're ready.

Besties…. Okay. The magician and the oracle card give me vibes that he is ready to try his best and make this rs work. Now, cards like the Tower indicate separation/divorce and in the "best of cases" a difficult situation that will stretch the rs to its limits. But the thing is, why? What else is there to say about this? Well, the 9 of pentacles in reverse can be a sign that one partner is spending, spending, spending money expecting the other to cover the expenses. Overindulgence. Deceit. Lack of stability and security. BUT IT DOESN'T END THERE… Last but not least, there's the high priestess rx, so I'd advice Him to be wary of trusting people - someone close to him could be dishonest in financial matters. He should trust his intuition fr.

How does she feel about her rs? (how does she see feel about the rs future-wise) 8 pentacles rx 6 pentacles rx 4 wands ace pentacles

Now the piéce of resistance. I'm not gonna lie, this is the part that made me so :/ in such a way that I had to close the reading and put my cards back in their box. I felt bad. Anyway, let's begin.

We have 3/4 cards indicating pentacles. Pentacles = money. 8 of pentacles rx: shows vibes of someone who's not putting in effort in the rs. Laziness, lack of commitment. 6 pentacles rx: lack of balance. One partner dominating the other; one partner abusing of the good nature of the other and not giving too much in return. 4 of wands:security, stability, success. Securing a rs and laying down roots. Ace of pentacles: getting into a rs that provides security and abundance.

Now, if you add this to my previous readings, I believe the 2 of wands came out when reading her vibes (this cards represents thinking the grass is greener on the other side; "I got what I wanted but what's out there seems better than what I got").

And if im not mistaken, there were pics of them SUPPOSEDLY looking at properties in malibu back in early january… girl, idk what tf to think. I don't feel good about this… Even if tarot isn't scientifically proven nor is there anything written on stone for tarot reads the current vibes (and these can change at any given moment). I hate to say it for fear of sounding mean towards her (I have nothing truly personal against her but this situation reeks of wanting $$$ - can't fully blame her, man is loaded but come onnnnn, give the man some real feelings and don't look outside to compare your life to what's out thereeee).

I'm sorry, it's 6:20 am and I'm falling asleep on the table as Im typing this so please excuse me if I didn't make any sense. Plus, apologies if your inbox got messages asking about these readings over and over again - I do them for fun, please let me know if I become annoying or if you don't wanna see them anymore, I appreciate your coquette girl content and I'd hate it if you become annoyed with tarot-related asks.

Much much love, tarot anon. ♥ /English isn't my 1st language so if I made grammar mistakes and whatnot, no I didn't, hehe./

hi tarot anon!!! first off it's not getting annoying i actually love when u message me and i can put up with a few asks from others wondering where u are!!! secondly i didn't catch any grammar mistakes LMFAOO

for those of yall reading please keep in mind tarot anon and i are just playing around we don't claim to know any of these ppl we're just being silly!!! RIGHT TAROT ANON?....

ANYWAYS this one bums me out lowkey. that he's putting in so much effort to make it work. tbh i can totally see sutton being into him just cuz like the novelty yknow he's THE hugh jackman and money could def be a part of that.

anyways i'm glad hugh's getting his bag. cuz 27 years no prenup is crazy. again not praying on his downfall but it does hurt knowing he's not with me 💔

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is being asked about your life goals on your job application and just wondering what you even put there because like, it wouldn't be relevant at all to the description and I don't want to just. Work at this place for the rest of my life. So like. What do I even put?

genuine answer:

look at it from the POV of the employer and not your actual life

for example, for someone working in customer service, they might be looking for personality traits and goals that involve you not leaving within the time period they consider their "investment" in training you to have not yet been fully paid off. Most "inexperienced" jobs are looking for a minimum of a month, but most likely they'd really prefer 3 months + a possibility you'll return if the job is seasonal (ie, a summer job to pay for college), or 6 months to a year in any other type of position. Add more time if you are part-time.

so, for example, say you're in schooling of some sort: you'll want to emphasize that you're looking to make money to help pay for schooling expenses while working towards getting a degree. If your degree is in anything but fine arts, you probably can list it; if it's in fine arts and not relevant to the job - rip my dude, lie and evade. you're still deciding, you're taking gen eds at the moment and like [these courses], anything. the idea is to show that you want a job and hours for a reason that shows you have drive/motivation. fine arts, despite being absolutely grueling degrees that absolutely fucking require more work imho as an engineering major than most majors, are just super devalued by a lot of folks.

if you're in a non-schooling period of life: try to lay out something that shows you're a motivated, practical, or in some way capitalistically "valuable" type of person. do not force yourself to be totally truthful. say whatever will get u the job that u can bullshit. "I'm looking to pay the bills" is probably not the best - spin it so that you show some sort of hobbies, volunteer work, community work, anything that teaches on personality. just do what u gotta to sound like you have something you do other than work and sleep, most of the time they just wanna get a read on you having passion and some sorta drive for something. probs don't mention caregiving for elderly or children though - some hiring managers are trained to look at that as a detriment, since it means you could more easily be called away for emergencies/urgent situations.

there's a lot of advice about like. using the direct words from the job description in these things, but imho i'd be careful. it can get u through automated computer checks, but a real person is probs gonna be like "cool but like. who tf are you." try to think about what/who will see it

some specific examples: "I plan to graduate with a degree in engineering and work in providing industrial solutions." / "I want to be able to spend time working with local gardening groups to make a community garden." / "I hope to further my skills in sewing so that I can make and mend my own clothing."

again: show passion, dedication, and knowledge/skills when possible. if you can find something relating to the position, that's usually best, but... sometimes you just gotta show that you're not reading off "10 best interview answers" and that you're a real person who cares about something. whatever it is, be prepared to get some basic questions/comments like, "Your application says you have an interest in gardening - can you tell me about that?" and respond with 2-3 sentences at a layman level. ie, "I've always enjoyed hands-on work, and it's always wonderful to see my plants thrive from seed to fruiting. I grow tomatoes, and my wife and I can our own tomato sauce each year. I'm hoping to grow peppers next year so we can make our own salsa." I've bolded things that would tell an employer things I think they'd like to hear - you like hands on work, you reliably do a fairly hands-on task without it being a requirement, and you have plans for improvement.

Genuine note though: I'm 23 and currently a barista at a local-ish coffee chain, due to dropping out of engineering as a result of developing a disabling chronic illness. Your mileage may vary; try to think "If someone had trained me to be the most discriminatory, law-avoiding asshole I could be while hiring someone, what is the best and worst I could read from this?". Don't disclose specifics on your personal life around children, elderly parents/grandparents that live with you, plans for future children, disabilities, anti-capitalist leanings, or any political opinions that don't specifically align with the company's expressed home-page level values. Like, if you had to click a button off of their front page on their website to find "we value diversity", try to not to say "I sell queer merchandise" as much as "I run a small online store in my spare time, with merchandise like pins and stickers."

[nimnomdimsum]

Strawberry Jam

The context of this is that a girl named Millie from the city got stuck on the side of the road and a guy named Ben (hot sexy farmer) helped drive her to his town to the mechanic (also super hot sexy) they spend a few day together and now they making jam cuz Ben grows strawberries

"You pour the hot water into the jars so they don't break when u put in the jam," he said in a grumpy but matter of fact tone.

"I know."

He looked at me strangely, with a hint of disbelief in his eyes "What do you mean you know?"

"I used to make jam with my ma when I was younger"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning back to stirring the strawberry jam "So yer one of those city girls."

I squinted and tilted my head to the side "What city girls?"

"The rich kind that had a garden in their backyard and 'farmed for a hobby'  the irritatin' ones"

Not feeling necessarily offended but more wronged, I huffed and said "that's mighty rude assuming I was a rich girl that had  expensive hobbies. Not that there's anything wrong with having a cute little hobby like making jam."

He looked back at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk "You sayin I'm wrong?"

"I don't like sounding cliché, but yes, my family and I weren't dying of poverty but we sure weren't rich."

"Livin in the city? You were middle class at least "

"I didn't grow up in the city"

"Then where did u grow up, here?" He asked sarcastically.

"I grew up 3 towns away, about 50 miles from the town"

He paused his stirring, his eyes grew wide and he turned to me "You grew up in Yanner? The town of dust?"

"Yup, grumpiest people you'd ever meet", I said with a smile

"Then why you and yer family in the city, no one ever leaves yanner"

"Like I said, we weren't dying and I was smart kid. I got scholarships and my pa was the only farm that had kinda decent soil to farm"

"Fuck, millie, I didn't even grow up that fuckin poor. What school did you go to?"

"The one here actually, It wasn't fun" I smiled

He looked puzzled, does that mean they went to the same school? "why did you hate it, the kids too posh" he said dryly

I giggled " Nah, it was the drive here and back. Spent most of my day in those buses. Woke up at 4 am to get to school and got home at 6pm. Just in time to make and pack jam with my ma"

"School started at 8 and ended at 2, you tellin me you spent 8 hours a day just on a fuckin bus and u still went to school and did ya chores at home???"

"Yup! It was ok tho, got most of my homework and studying done on those buses. So I had a lot of free time when I got home and over the week ends"

"What did u even do on the weekends? Sleep?"

I chuckled "I wish. I was helping my ma sell the jam at this cute little tea shop in town. Ah I fucking loved making jam with my ma, she preped the fruit, I cooked and jarred them"

"Sounds to me u did all the work" he said a bit annoyed that my mom didn't do more with me.

"It was the deal tho, if I didn't want to help pick, clean, cut and peel the fruit, I'd have to make and jar the jam myself. I hated prep"

He shook his head with a smile on his face, of course she hates prep, the lazy shit. "You said u went to the school nearby? How old are u? I never saw u around."

"I didn't see u either, maybe you graduated before me. We also hung out with very different ppl. You probably would have bullied me, heh"

He didn't say anything for a while, he was a pretty shitty kid "I'm 25, the class of 2023"

My eyes when wide "no fucking ways. You're a lying shit"

"What, why tf am I a lying shit!?" He said annoyed.

I laughed hysterically "how tf am I 3 years older than u. I was the class of 2020"

It was his turn to looked shocked "THERES NO FUCKIN WAY YER 28, YER LITERALLY STILL IN SCHOOL "

"Yes fucking way. I've been studying for 5 years dude, i just dropped out fer a while cuz I developed a stress disorder so I looked after my family and worked for a mechanic in town."

"Who? There's only 3 mechanics in this area and my best friends one of them." He said like I just told him the most unbelievable thing in the world.

I rolled my eyes,"It wasn't Jackie, it was Mike, he was fine as fuck."

"Gross, don't be thinkin nasty things while talkin to me." He said a little upset but definitely grossed out.

"What? Can't a girl appreciate a guy's  good looks"

"Not when it's u Millie, I can practically see what u thinkin and it could make a sailor blush"

"Someones blushing alright" I smirked looking at ben's red ears.He scoffed , turning back to the jam. He was clearly embarrassed and annoyed, and decided to ignore me.

I didn't mind though, the silence was nice. It allowed me to look at the house more. It was quite big since it housed 2 other men, Jackie and Grant, they were sweet fellas and kind enough to let me stay here until Jackie fixed my car.

I hopped off the counter and walked towards Ben, he took notice of this but ignored me so I got closer til my chin rested on his shoulder.

"Can ya back off a lil, I'm tryna bottle this hot shit and I don't wanna spill", he said a little disgruntled

"Nah, you’re fine, plus if ya burn yourself I'll kiss it better,"  I said with a chuckle, a joke to lighten the old grump but instead of rolling his eyes or pushing me off, he froze and looked at me with wide eyes and his ears a bright red and looked back to the jam he was pouring into a jar. He slowly tilted further and further from the jar and closer to his hand, my eyes went wide and I pulled  his hand away "WAIT! I was joking, if you wanted a kiss, could've just asked"

He burnt even redder now, turning his head as far away from me as possible, under his breath he mumbled and 'oh' and I laughed. I turned his head to face to face me and tried to stare into his eyes but he averted contact, clearly very embarrassed. I giggled again and kissed his bottom lip since I was too short to reach his full mouth.

That got his attention since he gasped and looked at me with wide eyes, now his whole face was red, from his ears to his neck and probably lower, "Do you want me to do it again?"

"Yes”

Heyyyy…so this is kinda embarrassing but I wanted my bbg koi to judge it cuz this has been in the making for 2 years. HOPE U LIKE MWAH MHWA

Part 2

[hausofmamadas]

OHHHHHPUTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (affectionate) the way i came this👌close to paying someone to legit strap me to a gurney so i didn’t quote this whole ass thing line for line BC GOTDAMN, YOU WERE FUCKING ON👏ONE👏WITH THIS INSPIRED SHIT RIGHT HERE

⥈

Silence is heavy in your apartment, but you know he is here, Alejandro, you can sense it, waiting in the dark at your expense. You are not surprised you are next, not when you know how they handle deserters, when you know too much, when they are scared you might talk.

The way I saw the phrases, “you are next,” and “how they handle deserters,” and immediately just like put on my helmet, strapped myself into my iron-man-style spacesuit bc I knew that you were about to rocket launch me on a fucking journey from which I might never return and mentally, bc my mind was so blown and turned to jelly, I’m glad I had the foresight to take these precautionskdjdjdb 

Removing your shoes, dropping your bag. Maybe you are just tired, maybe the doormat wasn’t that crooked, maybe the fingermarks on the handle were yours, maybe-

MAYBE THE DOORMAT WASNT THAT CROOKED FUCKIKKKKKKKKKK DUDE THAT IS SO OMINOUS AND SINISTER like I am just marveling at how you’ve sown the tension and dread and how you’ve managed to convey how high the stakes are in a matter of like 2 fuckin paragraphs like do you even understand the SKILL THAT FUFKINT TAKES CABRONA???????? 

‘’ You know I couldn’t. ‘’ Alejandro sits on your sofa, his back against the cushion, your cat purring on his lap. ‘’ Such a pretty thing like you… ‘’

I mean, this part just– like, okay I have two cats, I am a very much a Cat Person, it’s not that I don’t like dogs but like you have to be a monster to not be a Dog Person, right? Like in a way, I feel like everyone is a Dog Person. BUT I get why ppl have beef with cats, they can be aloof, hard to read, they're picky, very main character syndrome, shit is always on their terms so I think it makes sense that they’re not for everyone but BY GOD IF ALEJANDRO ISNT ABSOLUTELY A FUCKING CAT PERSON, HE JUST IS, oKAY???????? HC ACCEPTED, LIVELAUGHLOVING IT

Side note ppl: the trick to getting a cat to love you is basically to neg them, like just ignore them, bc they’re expecting you to shower them with attention cuz that’s what ppl do with dogs/other cute things, so just think about what you’d do with a dog and do the exact opposite with a cat. also this is gonna sound insane but I’ve forsure hissed at cats that some might call disagreeable, aka downright petty, vicious beasts. Does it look, feel, and sound unhinged and like you should prob be institutionalized? Abso-fucking-lutely. Does it also get a hostile feral creature to know who tf’s in charge? I’ll let you do the math. 

It is meant as a joke, probably, but it doesn’t make you laugh, doesn’t make your insides warm up like they used to.

SKSKSKSKSK I mean given the fact that like one of the most dangerous men in the world if only it could be the most interesting man in the world bc the Dos Equis guy seems like an undercover pacifist, I have exactly no evidence for this but it just feels right just pulled a casual B&E, is now sitting in a dark corner of your home, stroking your cat before he presumably kills you, it would make sense that you’re not getting like the warm and fuzzies under those circumstances sksk

‘’ Can I feed the cat? ‘’ … The cat is up as soon as he hears the pantry open, rubbing on your legs, wet nose meeting your ankles. You put more kibble in the bowl, just in case.

UGH THE WAY MY STOMACH DROPPPEDDOSKSKD AT THIS bc like this is exactly what I’d do if I thought I was gonna die😞😞😞😞😞😞leave extra food for the kitty

You liked his eyes, how he didn’t speak much, didn’t move air, a peacefulness to his presence, weirdly.

The way you describe this man is unparalleled, like I’ve said this 40bajillion times in other screamblogs but this is the exact type of description that makes me, “ohhhhhhh okay, yes, I see what’s happening. This man is just in your bones, in your blood, you know him without even trying.” Bc he is silence, he is smoke, he is mist, he is lethal ……. Aaaaaaaaaand ??? yet ?????? he’s somehow as calming as chamomile tea before bedtime too??? as soothing a presence as the white noise machine I use to fall asleep??? Like if i had to die but got to choose who killed me, id choose Alejandro or Hannibal for their impeccable bedside manner alone

The hours would be longer, the pay better, dirtier.

UNMMMMMMNYou fuckingisshgwgww wordsmith you????? Like I know I’m flipping out over a pretty straightforward sentence which i am but it’s specifically the use of the word dirtier that lends SO MUCH EXTRA COLOR AND TONE AND PERSONALITY AND UMPH that it wouldn’t otherwise have. And I’m just up here in these bleachers, standing up and slow clapping and putting on my microscopic reading glasses and taking microscopic notes in my microscopic detective’s pad andliterally anyone sitting near me is like “can this noisy bitch just pipe down and sit still for one goodgoddamn second so I can enjoy the show”… BABAHWWB JOKES ON YOU, I WILL NEVER REST 

Everything was more hands-on, no more slowly gnawing at it, no more psychological tactics, just raw human nature, animals in cages. Most days would end with you screaming at Matt that you would quit, that this wasn’t what you had signed up for. Oh, but it is, sweetheart, do you know what happens to you if you break this contract?

OH OKAY I SEE HOW TF IT IS SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU A MASTER OF ALEJANDRO BUT YOURE SO CORRECT WITH MATT TOO??????!???????)/:$!:&:! BC ITS NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE ONE MAN DOWN TO PAT, YOU GOTTA BLUDGEON ME WITH THAT, LEFT HOOK TO MY JAW, WITH THAT ONE TWO PUNCH???? Bc yes that condescending use of sweetheart is so just so on the money for him esp trying to intimidate a woman someone

… letting the sound of his breathing ease the voices in your head, letting him trace figures on your back with his fingers until you would fall asleep.

NOOOOOWOWOWOOOWWOLSDKJFAOIWJPFOAQIWHEI3PQAWIU3HAQ[OI3RJ[AQWOIJJK YOU ACTUALLY A DIABOLICAL MF FOR THISSS

like you already had me at him soothing Reader’s trauma/deeply broken mental state, quieting the voices like an antipsychotic medication, buTJ THENNNNNNNN?????FUCKINGTHENNN????? YOU MURDER ME WITH TRACING FIGURES ON YOUR BACK TIL YOU FALL ASLEEP AREAOUSDOFIUASOEYOUFUCKKKKKINGGNNGKDSJFKSLDJFJKIDDDIDING ME WITH THIS SHIT ??????????????????????????????????

Matt wasn’t blind, though, you could see the crease between his brows when you would get on the plane together, how he had started to comment on your outfits, your hair. You could tell he was going fishing, throwing the bait, waiting to see if the wolf would bite. 

No this is actually brilliant it’s making me physically ill bc Matt would 100000% be the type to hit on his own employee but not even bc he’s a regular, run-of-the-mill, predatory creep, but more to fuck with his employees bc he’s trying to sniff out if they’re together by provoking alejandro with jealousy which is just about the most laughable thing bc christ, if that isn't a man who knows how to maintain a poker face like that's his literal job so great plan Matt sfjlskjd so he can sabotage everything, and rig the entire relationship to blow with like 7000 tons of dynamite aka office goss bc that’s just how much of a vindictive girlboss he is

Don’t do this, you know what they think when people leave, what they will do. What they will make me do, he meant, and here he is.

NOOOALEJANDROOO NOT WHAT THEY’LL MAKE HIM DO!!!! BC THEY ABS WILL BC HE’S LITERALLY JUST A FUCKING TOOL, OUR POOR BBY BOI

You can tell Alejandro is somewhere far away now, deep in thought, going back to caress the cat as it snuggles back into him. 

I’m sorry but i will never recover from the fact that he’s a cat person and that it’s so goddamn correct skskskjs it is actual fact now

You know the way he remembers those things so clearly as if he was hovering, watching. He had told you so one night on the jet, when Matt was fast asleep on the couch, when you were seated across from him, when you had asked him if he had dreams too, as vivid, as bloodied. I don’t, he had said, and then motioning to his temple with a finger, but it’s in here, I’m always there.

GOOODDLKJSDF;LAKJSD; I’M LEGITIAMTELY CHEWING ON MY PILLOW AND CHOKING ON MY OWN TEARS CRYINGSLDKFJ BC THIS IS SO???????? LIKE YES???????????????? Idek exactly what it is about it that moves me. I think I just love the complexity bc I feel like with assassins, it can easily become one-note where they’re just sick, twisted, emotionless sociopaths such a snoozeworthy approach imo bc there's no way to make someone interesting who has no real emotional depth But like that’s not what’s happening here, right. He’s not devoid of empathy, I think he’s just reallyreallyreally good at locking it away, like scary good. But he has his limits and doesn’t really relish the job, doesn’t get joy from killing unless it's vengeance which like lskjflskjdl; valid, who hasn't felt homicidally vengeful at least once or twice lbr

HOWMEVER, that's not to say Alejandro is like? normal? ksdjfsk it’s very clear that he is a stone cold mf. He has both seen and done some shit but I’ve always imagined him as just highly compartmentalized, so he locks away the human part to get the job done. And bc he’s so good at detaching from his own empathy, his experience of trauma is diff from most people. He’s literally trained his nervous system not to react to that kind of duress, so he doesn’t have bad dreams or flashbacks, right, BUT at the end of the day, the body keeps the score, that shit will always be knocking around like ghosts in the attic which is exactly what he's saying and i know i’m just babbling now but likelkjdf[]09i3jqj];oeFINW DUDE THE WAY YOU JUST CAPTURED SOMETHING SO SPECIFIC TAHT I HAVE GIVEN ENTIRELY TOO MUCH THOUGHT TO more in relation to my other favorite cold-but-not-psychopathic assassin, mi barroncito ofc AND LIKE NAILED IT SO WELL

After all of it, he means, now that his goal is achieved, that debts are paid and revenge is cold and done.

UGJ ofc he wouldn’t know what to do. bc It’s not like you get your bachelor’s degree whilst carrying out high-risk hits on high-profile targets at the behest of the CIA sksksk in the service of the US’s sick agenda to control everything and everyone and everywhere else even tho there’s so much shit here that needs fixing becauseeverythingsonfireandfallingapart andidkwhyigotsopoliticalwiththis

I can’t, I- 

You can, of course you can.

OOHHH AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO STICK THE LANDING TOO BY BRINGING THIS BACK AROUDN AND SOMEBODY PLS PRAY FOR ME BC IM ACTUALLY INCONSOLABLE RN AND WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS  FIC FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT SEVERAL MANY DAYSOKAYGREATTHANKS[IJ9F[Q0I93=Isk

Of wolf and sheep

Alejandro Gillick x gn!reader, (the usual for the movies, nothing too graffic) 1793 words

a/n : another Alejandro Gillick fic??, I hear you say, and to that I respond, do you mean sexy Alejandro fic, eat my children

Tagging the besties-that-might-like-this as usual @narcolini @drabbles-mc @anunhealthydoseofangst @hausofmamadas

‘’ Are you here to kill me? ‘’

You haven’t turned on the lights yet, boots still on, waiting in the entryway. Silence is heavy in your apartment, but you know he is here, Alejandro, you can sense it, waiting in the dark at your expense. You are not surprised you are next, not when you know how they handle deserters, when you know too much, when they are scared you might talk. It makes your heart beat faster, especially because you know they hold Alejandro in a tight lease like a dog.

If he hears you he doesn’t answer, and so you keep moving, what else is there to do? Removing your shoes, dropping your bag. Maybe you are just tired, maybe the doormat wasn’t that crooked, maybe the fingermarks on the handle were yours, maybe-

‘’ You know I couldn’t. ‘’ Alejandro sits on your sofa, his back against the cushion, your cat purring on his lap. ‘’ Such a pretty thing like you… ‘’

It is meant as a joke, probably, but it doesn’t make you laugh, doesn’t make your insides warm up like they used to. All you feel now is cold, a deep, freezing cold that seeps inside your bones, and tense your shoulders, making bile pill up in your mouth.

‘’ Can I feed the cat? ‘’

A simple question, one that he nods to, one that he understands means you are not jumping on a hidden gun or making a b-line for the bedroom window. The cat is up as soon as he hears the pantry open, rubbing on your legs, wet nose meeting your ankles. You put more kibble in the bowl, just in case.

‘’ Wasn’t easy to find you. ‘’ He continues, ‘’ Montana is large, it was pretty hard to track. You could have moved countries. ‘’

‘’ Just to have you catch the flight log? ‘’ You move to the armchair in front of him, taking a seat, ‘’ I thought I did well, everyone makes mistakes. ‘’

You cross your legs, tucking your feet. He watches your every move, like a hawk, barely moving. Alejandro doesn’t look much different than he was a year ago, black still looks great on him, his arms are bigger, the beard slightly longer too.

Your first mistake was getting recruited by the CIA, a consultant they had told you, something up to your added value. Talent, Matt had called it later down the line, interrogation is what makes the world turn. In a way it did, they all talked, and you went home, cashed your check, just to fly back out whenever was needed. A few months later, you met Alejandro on base, near the Mexican border. You liked his eyes, how he didn’t speak much, didn’t move air, a peacefulness to his presence, weirdly.

And then one day your contract changed hands, no CIA, just Matt, and whoever held the chains. Your second mistake was to accept it, not to ask for a transfer, and join the team. You could sense the heaviness in the interrogation rooms now, notice the dangerous glint in Alejandro’s eyes. The hours would be longer, the pay better, dirtier. Sometimes, Alejandro would join you, make you leave the room halfway in, cutting the camera before closing the door behind you. Everything was more hands-on, no more slowly gnawing at it, no more psychological tactics, just raw human nature, animals in cages. Most days would end with you screaming at Matt that you would quit, that this wasn’t what you had signed up for. Oh, but it is, sweetheart, do you know what happens to you if you break this contract?

Threats, every day, all of it, but you couldn’t allow yourself to find out, not after Kate, not when you had heard words here and there of what had happened. You had gotten to know Alejandro better pretty quickly after that. Maybe you had eventually gained his respect by being so out of bounds every time.

Between the long hours, the endless plane rides, inevitably running into him at the motel bar, even when you thought there was no way something would come out of it, you kept finding him around every corner. And then you kissed him one night, or maybe he did, one drink too much, pressing on you, bringing you up against the bed. Your third mistake. It felt different to be able to touch him, how he would accept it, initiate it even. A breath of fresh air compared to those stuffy interrogation rooms.

You found comfort in Alejandro’s arms, in the dark of night, letting him wrap around you, letting the sound of his breathing ease the voices in your head, letting him trace figures on your back with his fingers until you would fall asleep.

No one knew, no one suspected a thing, and you liked it better that way, as you are sure he did too. Matt wasn’t blind, though, you could see the crease between his brows when you would get on the plane together, how he had started to comment on your outfits, your hair. You could tell he was going fishing, throwing the bait, waiting to see if the wolf would bite. Still, he was always your colleague first, a good one, never late, easy to work with, and then he was something else. Something you couldn’t name, something you couldn’t exactly pinpoint, not lovers, not friends.

Then one day you cracked, like an egg, somewhere in the middle, slicing you in half. A long time coming. I can’t do this anymore, you had told Alejandro, sobbing, huddling in the tub, under the water. You could feel the water in your lungs, the tightness of your chest, in your throat. I can’t breathe, I can’t, I- You don’t remember him turning off the water, gently pulling you out, but you remember him wrapping the towel around you, hugging you to warm you up, brushing your wet hair with his fingertips, rubbing the water of your back. You can, of course you can.

You remember telling him you were done, that when Matt would receive your resignation letter tomorrow you would be long gone. You owed him that, the truth, the why, before leaving and never seeing him again. You couldn’t bear the thought of him wondering, the pain it could cause of losing someone again. Don’t do this, you know what they think when people leave, what they will do.

What they will make me do, he meant, and here he is.

You let yourself sink into the pillows, feel the tightness in your throat, let your shoulders drop. Now that you are closer, you notice more grey in his hair, a sign that time hasn’t stopped for him either.

‘’ Now what? ‘’ You breathe. The air is thick, the room dark. What will you do now?

‘’ I’m not here for you. ‘’ His eyes soften, and he readjusts himself in his seat. ‘’ I killed Alarcón. I’m here because I’m done, it’s over. ‘’

I’m not here for you. I killed Alarcón. It is just Alejandro in your living room, plain, simple, soft Alejandro, no wolf, no sharp teeth, waiting to pounce. Him, here, after that, you think maybe he wants to talk about it. A shoulder to rest on, after all the stress from those years, the hard work, repressing everything down.

‘’ How do you feel? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know ‘’ His dark eyes are back on you. ‘’ Relieved, I guess. ‘’

You are still not over the fact that he is not here to kill you, only looking for comfort, friendship. Your fingers are still tightly wrapped around the armrest, and the fabric bristles as you let go.

‘’ You want a beer? ‘’ A peace offering.

‘’ Hmm. ‘’

You can tell Alejandro is somewhere far away now, deep in thought, going back to caress the cat as it snuggles back into him. He must be there, you think, where Alarcón was that day, he probably feels the gun in his hand, hears the bullets hit the ground. You know the way he remembers those things so clearly as if he was hovering, watching. He had told you so one night on the jet, when Matt was fast asleep on the couch, when you were seated across from him, when you had asked him if he had dreams too, as vivid, as bloodied. I don’t, he had said, and then motioning to his temple with a finger, but it’s in here, I’m always there.

You are alone in the kitchen for a minute and then you aren’t, turning around, knocking into him who is now in front of you, with so little space to spare. Alejandro takes the beer from your hand, gently discarding it on the countertop. You let his eyes run over your face, let him observe for whatever he is looking for. He opens his mouth and then closes it, swallowing words that he decides are not meant to be said.

‘’ I came here because I’m not sure what to do now. ‘’

After all of it, he means, now that his goal is achieved, that debts are paid and revenge is cold and done.

‘’ You’ll figure it out, you always do. ‘’

You don’t flinch when his palm reaches up, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he cups his hand around your face, cradling your jaw between his fingers. You let his fingers warm up your skin, letting the familiarity of it submerge you.

‘’ I meant it, ‘’ he whispers, ‘’ so pretty… ‘’

‘’ I think you need sleep. ‘’ You caution back. It feels overwhelming, having him here, so close, after so many months.

‘’ I guess. ‘’

He trails off, but he is not listening, there is a hunger in his eyes, and you remember all the nights he would look at you like this, soft, tender, something you could mistake for affection. The tip of his fingers caresses your hair, running down the side of your neck, feeling your pulse underneath his touch. He knocks out of it after a few seconds, letting his hand rest on your shoulder instead.

There is a seriousness in his eyes, an int of doubt, something different.

‘’ I know what I need. I’m going to Bogotá, and I want you to come with me. ‘’

I need you to, he means, you’ll be safe with me. You feel as if the wind has been knocked out of you, the blood pumping in between your ears is loud and heavy, you can’t hear yourself think.

I can’t, I-

You can, of course you can.

[thegeminisage]

i made it to hebra! in this stabel there's a guy admiring a poster of a beast. he says zelda herself traveled with it...and what do you know, i WAS wondering why the animal in the very first trailer wasn't in the game, but here it is! maybe it's one of the missing "memories"? or maybe just a shoutout to something they had to cut...

tried the horse god bed. it was weird and also a waste of rupees...for now, i just have malanya's location

🥺 the merchant at this stable helping the rito lady carry food back to rito village...literally look for the helpers

well, i can see from here the divine beast is gone...i wonder what happened to them...

ohhh i hit the snow. rip hebra

ohhhh boy this stable is really in it. the music sounds different too!!!! i really like that

TRAYSI BETRYAL ARC??? omg..............

we're literally back to gentrification. buy out the old owner at a steal and fuckin. set up shop

oh shit. someone who looks like zelda appearing everywehre

telling people in kakariko not to touch the ruins maybe?? i wonder if it's a fake evil zelda...

FROGGY ARMOR MY BELOVED...FINALLY...RAIN CLIMBING...

ohhhh this sidequest is gonna be soooo worth it

i love my fellow reporter dude, but i wonder where kass is....maybe in the village? i miss hearing his song out in the wild :(

OHHHHHHH i love this snowy rendition of the rito theme...........beautiful 😭

it's giving frozen zoras domain in oot and tp. and since the rito evolved from zora, THAT counts as an oot reference!!

oh i found some of kass's kids 🥺 geez theyre so little to be dealing with cold and starvation

i think these are his kids, anyway...it's been awhile

"most of the adults arent around anymore bc of the weird weather" you mean like theyre on vacation right. or gathering supplies? WHERE IS TEBA?

oh my god the kids are on their OWN? theyre finding their won food and making their own arrows?? THEYRE BABIES!!! NINTENDO CMON

sold half my inventory to this poor kid to afford rito armor...i KNEW that shit would be expensive

theres fuckin. NOBODY HERE. ARE THEY ALL DEAD?

i really like how the shrines in this game teach your skills you'll need soon...it feels better timed than the ones in botw

OH MY GOD IT'S TEBA HE'S FUCKIN ALIVE MARK OFF MY BINGO CARD

teba...new rito elder...tf happened to the old one...oh my god

"everyone i could spare is already researching the blizzard or looking for food" ok so theyre not dead. cool. your children are all starving though

[14dayswithyou]

one sided enemies / lovers ren x mc fic where the high tension point of it is mc trying to stab ren while he’s “asleep” only for him to open his eyes and grab their wrists as they try and aim for his throat only for him to look them in the eyes and say “you’re really beautiful”, 25k slowburn, pinning, childhood friends to strangers to one sided love/hatred, not updated since 2018

A/N: Hello angels! Sorry I haven’t updated my multichapter 14DWY AU in a while! I got married, had three kids, divorced and then immediately got remarried again, came out of a 3-year coma due to my lack of copium, and recently adopted a dog :D Also I had to undergo surgery because I was suffering from sugondese, but I'm back now with another chapter! Plz enjoy!

pairings: MC x some pink haired guy idk i haven't played 14dwy

tags: over 25k word count, enemies to lovers to strangers then back to friends but not really, slow burn, only one bed, mpreg, stabbing (but not the sexual kind), pining, lemon/smut scene, mafia!au, etc.

Now was your chance. You finally had the opportunity to kill the fucker that had been embezzling funds from your Mafia father’s company. The timing was perfect... you had seduced him with your super hot appearance and slipped sleeping pills into his drink like a creep who belongs in jail. Now he was unconscious in your bed (there's only one bed in this huge expensive $$$ mansion) because you're not a monster who lets your enemies/lovers sleep on the ground.

Getting closer to the sleeping dude, you noticed that he was sleeping with a cheap ass face mask and sliced, dollar store cucumbers on his eyes… Like wtf… If he could steal over $1,000,000 from your father, you’d think he’d be able to buy something more expensive? Cheap ass….

Anyways it doesn’t matter because now you're looming over him and ripping off his $2 mallwart self-care products and staring at his prone and vulnerable form.

Wow... he actually looked.... beuatiful????

No-- stop it Y/N M/N L/N! this was not the time to be falling for the enemy! after your recent break-up with Teo -- the son of the rival mafia and the guy you were once in an arranged marriage with -- you were in no position to date again. But... wait… who said anything about dating? oh wait I did because I'm the narrator lol

Shaking your head and letting your H/L H/C hair loose, you draw your knife and angle it at the pink-haired ex-yakuza heir (your father and his mother are rivals as well). But before you could go for his jugular or smth, his eyes flutter open and lock onto yours.

It was as if time stopped and nothing else existed outside of your bedroom walls. You were captivated by his striking blue orbs and soft, dewy skin. He looked like an angel sent from heaven — but in the form of your childhood friend. aka the one you met on the playground all those years ago.... sakura blossoms were blowing in the wind which was romantic, but didnt make sense because corland bay doesn’t take place in Japan (omg 14dwy lore?? in my crack fic????)

Memories come flooding back, and it was as if the pink-haired guy was remembering them too — if the way his eyes softly trace over your features was any indication. How could you kill him? Did you want to kill him? He was nothing but kind to you, despite the fact that he literally stole money from your family and tried to kill you ex. And wtf why am I actually putting effort into this???

Shaking your head again (i don't know that many descriptors), you strengthen your resolve and press the blade firmly against his heart instead. But ya mans must've been made out of steel or something because you haven't drawn blood yet? tf?? anyways, before you could notice, he wraps a large and veiny hand around your wrist and softly murmurs something under his breath.

For some reason you forgot how soft and breathy his voice sounded, and for a moment in time, you found yourself falling for him. ah shit bois it's the beginning of the enemies to lovers arc!!!!! yehaw 🤠 ok anyways

Before you could say anything, he cuts you off "You look beautiful”

"How can you say that I'm literally wearing a balaclava right now? :/" you say, “I’m going for that mysterious vibe”

"Yeah but I know the real you, the you that's underneath that balaclava."

it was sweet, but you knew better than to trust the words of your enemy/lover. "Ok but what if I told you I was wearing another one underneath”

"yeah that's valid i'm literally wearing two sweaters rn"

"oh sick" looking down you notice that he wasn’t lying “nice I love the complimentary colours. very neutral and very based uwu”

"y-y-y-y-eah" he blushes "sorry i forgot that i'm supposed to be haruko rn"

"oh shit!! you like attack on giants? my man!!!!!"

"i-it's pretty pog ^^ anyways," he looks at your really cool and expensive gucci blade that was pressed against his heart. "weren't you going to kill me?"

"oh yeah" drawing the knife for the 69th time, you position it again before looking into his ocean blue cerulean cyan orbs once more. "this is for stealing money from my dad… the richest mafia don in all of corland bay…. he's a great dad btw because my mom tried to sell me to one direction-- anyways I'm rambling now. time to unalive you hehe"

but... you couldn't do it. You couldn't kill your childhood friend, your twin flame, and the man you harboured secret feelings for. He was too pretty and too Baby to kill. look at him. Would you really murder a guy looking like that? Jail time for even thinking about harming such an innocent soul :/ and so, you retract the blade and dramatically look off into the distance.

"I.... I can't do it."

"here i'll do it then." and then he grabs the knife and straight up stabs himself.

"MY BROTHER IN CHRIST WTF???"

"you wanted to kill me, and I only want what you want. it's logic :)"

"omg the rapper? anyways that's not what I-- you know what? yeah okay sure bet"

and just like romeo and juliet, you stab yourself as well so you could be with your lover in the afterlife. But you didn't die quick enough, so you had some time to kill on the ONLY bed in the mansion. so u woohoo with each other before kicking the bucket

you see ren in the afterlife and that’s when you realise that one of you were pregnant. yeah.... now this is the annoying part of every fic where they introduce the unwanted pregnancy arc. but that continues in chapter 69 so stay tuned! I should be able to update this next week if nothing goes wrong :)

-- THE END --

A/N (for real): if y'all want an actual serious scenario with this prompt, lemme know lmao

[miniimapp]

4*TOWN As Foods

Gen ;; Crack - Headcanons

Warnings ;; this shit is bizarre

Proofread + Edited ;; no bc let's just add to the shitshow

Auth. Note ;; WELCOME TO DAY 11 OF THE 4*TOWN CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN !!

Listen,, I know some of these last couple days have been.. chaotic at best but I promise I'm just saving the good stuff for later on and really I'm just struggling bc the good stuff always takes way longer to write than I first anticipate lmao

Anyways,, enjoy !! <3

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Aaron T - Party Rings

You know those really fun biscuits that everyone always has at every party

Like,, the ideal party finger food fr

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE HOLE IN THE MIDDLE IS COVERED BY THE ICING

Oml I always feel like I've won the lottery when that happens lmao

Literally never seen someone turn down a party ring before tbh

The biscuit of choice for any kid with sense

Literally so fun and they make me so nostlagic

But yeah,, sweet, fun food for a sweet, fun guy :DD

Jesse - Prawn Cocktail

Hear me out 4*townies,, hear me tf out

It's hard to explain but I swear he just has the same vibes as prawn cocktail,, okay ??

Idk like,, kinda zingy with the sauce (I sound fucking stupid rn it shhh) but like,, and can feel a little fancy at time right ??

BUT I ain't never seen prawn cocktail without bread and butter with it

Bread and butter is a classic staple,, simple yet delicious and never bad

That's kinda how Jesse is to me,, he's got his different sides,, to the public he's flashy and flirty, puke the cocktail

But to those he knows he's a basic bitch

Jk jk, he's familiar and simple

Aaron Z - Ham and Cheese Toastie

Listen,,

Warm. Comforting. And literally my favourite food

LITERALLY WHAT IS NOT TO LIKE ABOUT A HAM AND CHEESE TOASTIE

I'm craving one so bad rn writing this ffs hhhhhhh

And he's not one out of a toastie maker !!

No, a hand-made, lovingly crafted ham and cheese toastie that always makes you feel better

I would literally die for a toastie

And I would die for Z so yknow

DID I MENTION WARM AND COMFORTING ??

This is the only choice, agree or prepare to die

Robaire - A Cheese Board

Cheese boards give the impression of sophistication to me and so does Robaire

But equally there are lots of different sides to Robaire as there are different cheese on a cheese board

Dude,, they just feel expensive to look at but also really simple and comforting yknow ??

Like,, I could pay hundreds for one at a fancy restaurant but also make one at home for really cheap

Some of these don't have much of a reason and more of just a gut feeling and this is what this one is tbh

Plus,, I could say some basic shit like a croissant or escargot but then I wouldn't be speaking the truth

Ro simply isn't either of those,, he's a cheese board

Though, tbf ik if they are but cheese boards do feel French so there's also that

Tae Young - Frubes

Idk if this is a purely a thing in my country but these things are a fucking nightmare to open

It's basically russian roulette tbh

There is such anxiety,, they could go everywhere, just not open without a fucking chainsaw or be completely fine,, depends on the day

They feel like they're playing a prank on you tbh

Like they have a life of their own

It's giving Tae vibes,, I have to honest

They are really good tho,, especially after the near heart attack trying to open them and they open just fine

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Hope you enjoyed !! <3

[breezy-bird-spinch]

CONSIDER

(I’m assuming this was made before Shotaro and Sungchan joined, so I’ll add them to houses 5 and 3 respectively)

House 1: Taeyong, Ten, Jungwoo, and they’re all giving the silent treatment

Pros:

- you can basically do whatever you want if they aren’t talking to you

- you’ve got Taeyong so the house will be nice and clean, and you can experience his holy cooking

- Taeyong and Ten mean you’ll have fish and cats to hang out with

- it’s never a boring day when Ten and Jungwoo, NCT’s confident gays, are in the same room

- imagine the gossip between these three that you can just listen in on

Cons:

- not bad for you, per se, but Louis and Leon mean those fish might not last too long

- Jungwoo’s probably gonna have a weird ass sleeping setup with the members like his current room with Jaehyun. Again not really bad, just weird.

- you can’t talk to them because they’re giving you the silent treatment

- no fruit if Ten’s there

Loophole: it wasn’t specified how long they’d be giving you the silent treatment for

House 2: Kun, Hendery, Jaemin, but you can only communicate by shouting as loud as you can

Pros:

- pure chaos

- Kun can cook and keep people alive; Hendery and Jaemin cannot

- waking up early won’t be a problem because you won’t be sleeping in the first place

- you finally have a good reason to buy those nice sound cancelling headphones you wanted

Cons:

- pure chaos

- I’ll give it three days for Kun to completely go insane

- between Hendery’s chaotic self and Jaemin’s espresso shots nobody’s getting any sleep ever

- those sound cancelling headphones won’t even work though because MinDery are too loud

Loophole: ha good luck there isn’t one

House 3: Doyoung, WinWin, Jeno, Sungchan, but the smoke alarm is on low battery and is beeping the whole time

Pros:

- seukka seukka

- Doyoung can keep the house clean

- WinWin would probably do chores out of boredom too

- Jeno will probably make beeping noises right with the smoke alarm, so at least it’ll be funny

- Sungchan can experience firsthand Doyoung’s wrath. Wait... is this a pro or a con??

Cons:

- until you’ve been kept up at night by a chirping smoke alarm, you have not felt true pain and suffering

- WinWin will probably cut all his hair off by the time quarantine is over. He’s barely got any sanity left please let him keep the crumbs he still has

- Doyoung may keep the house clean but he gets angry

- Sungchan’s tall enough to fix the alarm but bold of you to assume he knows how

Loophole: gl

House 4: Taeil, Lucas, Xiaojun, Chenle, but the only food is plain toast

Pros:

- Lucas came up with the idea of having different varieties of drinks to replace to blandness of having plain toast everyday

- Taeil, Chenle and Lucas are total party animals so no day would be boring

- Xiaojun and Chenle means you get Bella and Daegal too

- since you can only eat toast, Xiaojun can’t make his questionable oreo microwave cake

Cons:

- Chenle’s gonna lose it and cut Daegal’s hair again, save her

- Bella better watch out in case Chenle comes for her next

- Chef Moon Taeil is quaking because all they can eat is toast

- You just can’t let Haechan know you were spending time with Daegal because he will end you

- the house will probably be a mess since Taeil is part of the 10th floor and Xiaojun and Lucas are part of the WayV dorms. And Chenle

- Bella’s gonna pee on the floor again and Xiaojun will have had enough at that point and leave the house to go join the goose mafia

Loophole: the toast has to be plain, which I’d assume means you can’t have anything on it. Nothing mentions the kind of toast. You got wheat toast, white toast, rye toast, etc.

House 5: Yuta, Mark, Renjun, Jisung, Shotaro, but the house is super haunted

Pros:

- Mark freestyle rapping while everyone else is screaming and getting chased around by evil spirits

- Yuta would tell scary ghost stories to freak everyone out but you’d probably cackle at Mark’s scared face. “I- I’m not scared, dude. Nah, yo”

- Taro’s safe because nobody can get angry at his cuteness and he’s too pure to be haunted by anything. The spirits love him

- Mark and Jisung are banned from the kitchen, so no house fires unless Renjun snaps

- Yuta’s just vibing and here for the ride honestly

Cons:

- Who tf was cruel enough to put Jisung in the haunted house group?? Boy gets scared so easily

- Renjun would realize the house is haunted and be like “please take them”

- if he doesn’t kill the other members himself out of rage

- honestly you’ll walk into the living room to catch him sitting by a pentagram and candles with Jisung as a sacrifice

Loophole: hehe good luck :)

House 6: Johnny, Jaehyun, Haechan, YangYang, but there’s no internet/tv/video games

Pros:

- Johnny’s jokes

- experience Jaehyun’s unbothered (• ◡ •) ?? look in all its glory

- Johnny, YangYang and Haechan could be screaming at the top of their lungs meanwhile Jaehyun’s just looking into some imaginary camera like he’s on the office, mentally sipping a margarita thousands of miles away on some tropical beach and you will laugh your ass off

- just lots of laughs and probably pranks

Cons:

- could Haechan and YangYang actually survive that long without internet?? Nah

- I mean they could but it would be at the expense of everyone else’s safety and sanity

- pretty sure these four could be considered a frat

- have fun being trapped in a house with four bored extroverts for who knows how long

- you’ll slowly go insane

Loophole: no video games? Play monopoly and watch Jaehyun’s competitive ego crumble as Haechan takes control of half the board

I’d probably choose house 1, 2, or 6. 1 because my ult bias is there, and so are his cats, and cats bring serotonin. 2 because who needs sleep when you have fun, screaming and coffee?? 6 because come on. Those four members stuck in a house with no internet has some comedic possibilities.

[technicallyaweeb]

GOJO BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

Hello!! This is my first time writing any sort of fanfic/headcannons or things I think that my fav characters would do or how they would act! I am IN LOVE with Gojo and I don’t know what that says about the type of guy I like since he’s literally a SOCIOPATH but I could get into that later. He’s here and he’s hot and he knows it...and so do we my dudes. SO!! Here are some bf headcannons! 

(* ^ ω ^)

- really really touch starved 

- like someone give this mans some lovin’ .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･.

- you probably meet because he was bored at first and found you interesting enough to warrant his attention  

- well then he started to actually like you. you hated the higher ups and could hold your own against him in a sparring session like DAMN 

- WHOOPS now he likes you

- maybe even loves you 

- but he doesn’t know what that feels like so (╥_╥)

- acts like he doesn’t like you; honestly, this man is a CHILD when it comes to crushes

- will tease you endlessly

- Imagine sparring with him and he pins you to the ground and pulls some Simba and Nala shit

- “Pinned ya!” Give you that signature Gojou TM grin

- You struggle a bit and a giant tussle ensues but eventually you end up on the ground again with a THUD

- “PINNED YA AGAIN” he says ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- doesn’t gloat as much around you because he knows you’ll call him out on hist sh*t

- your guys’ song is “I Love You Always Forever” by Donna Lewis

- “You've got the most unbelievable blue eyes I've ever seen”

- Gojo ALWAYS insists in dancing when you guys hear this song 

- He goes wild on the dance floor

- He can’t dance but he tries (^-^*)/

- He doesn’t sleep much, so he’ll talk your ear off until you fall asleep to the sound of his voice

- This happens nightly. 

-You stay at your dorm on campus often. Its got a more ~**home**~ feeling than Gojo’s bachelor dorm. 

- Neither of you realize you’re dating until someone like Utahime is like “tf are you acting like a couple?”

- he asks you out formally and you guys go out somewhere fancy 

- he can afford it though you insist on paying

- and you do, at the expense of your wallet

- anything for those baby blues though, amirite? 

[crystu-cii]

XDD

I f e e l that pain in my soul-- my older sister uses cologne sometimes and it is sO STRONG AND WILL NOT STAY CONFINED TO HER ROOM-- AMD SOMETIMES SHED DO IT IN THE DOORWAY LIKE HELLO-- XDD

YEAH WH GET SOME SLEEP LEAVE THE STAYING UP TO US-- XDD

YES BABY JAIL, INTO THE UPSIDE DOWN LAUNDRY BASKET YOU KNIFE-WIELDING HEATHEN-- XDD oms XDD well I don't know them but I love them- YESSS THEYRE SO FLUFFY-- I'm actually curious what images pop up first imma check-- FLUFFY PUPPIES-- we've actually never owned ones that fluffy(those actually look more similar to shetland sheepdogs than the shelties we've had so far?? Very similar/similar enough where if someone doesn't know a sheltie we mention shetland sheepdogs), our current one is a purebred that we got for free(she was being given away bc her family never came back for her and the lady taking care of her couldn't afford the time to take care of a second dog long-term think) and she's got pretty short fur in comparison- still fluffy enough, but not quite so long of fur-- she's a blue merle(absolutely gorgeous fur, she's like 8 now with a lot of health problems but she's super loving still 💕💞) anyways about the fur, so long as you brush regularly you should mitigate most of that, and it mostly collects in corners- but like.. be prepared to eat and wear dog fur for the rest of your life-- (actually there's a thing called a fur zapper we bought recent that you put in with your clothes when you wash/dry them(I think it's dry but idk??) that's supposed to get a lot of hair off your clothes in that process? Also lint rollers are your best friend--) AND roombas are really helpful(we bought a knockoff one and rarely have to sweep ever so 👀) XDD WHEEZE I can't even imagine what you did-- but like you could ask for a budgie/parakeet /hj I mean, they aren't very expensive (actually they're pretty cheap) but they're very loud, need a lot of attention(especially if you want them to bond to you!) and you need to research into them a lot to make sure you're doing things right-- loads of vids online!! Loads of websites too!!! I'd know I have one- JUST A WARNING, FEATHERS AND SEED HULLS GET ALL OVER YOUR FLOOR XD p l u s like you have a friend who knows stuff about birbs :3 anyways ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME WOW THAT GOT LONG--

💕💕 I feel that XD OMS-- I WISH-- WHAT A D R E A M - s n a k - Awww but what a mood XD

XDDD oms YES-- EXACTLY-- XDDDD another good thing you should try eventually is SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE WHICH IS APPARENTLY DELICIOUS??? I TRIED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME(AT LEAST IN A WHILE) TODAY AND IT WAS SO FUCKIN TASTY????

H E A THEN-- XDD how cool of them to try tho :3 whEEZE Y 'A LL-- XDD

WHEEZE I SUCK WITH INSTRUMENTS SOOOO-- DAMN THA'S SOME BAD LUCK MY DUDE-- MAYBE YOU'RE CURSED DAMN-- oms wOWW--

Yesss-- ooh I've never played 👀 seen some stuff but never played-- (see: my computer sucks XD) I h a v e played Portal 1 and it is SO GOOD and SO SHORT and I WISH I HAD GOTTEN PORTAL 2 INSTEAD BUT THATS OKAY CRIES-- YESSSS THE SONGS SLAP--- ALSO THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO WHOLE MORE CANON(PROBABLY KINDA MAYBE NOT?? IDK) SONGS, ONE FROM A LEG DIMENSIONS GAME("You Wouldn't Know") AND ONE THAT WAS CUT FROM PORT TWO("Don't Say Goodbye"(Harry101UK made an edit to make it Glados' voice!!)) THERE ARE ALSO A BUNCH OF GOOD FAN SONGS SO YEAH-- ALSO NOT TO BE A SIMP BUT GLADOS' VOICE? PERFECTION. I LOVE HER. ALSO I COULD LITERALLY DETAIL THE PORTAL LORE I AM INCREDIBLY EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THIS GAME-- ALSO THERES A CLIP THAT SOMEONE MADE USING A (VERY GOOD) GLADOS TTS TO HAVE GLADOS SAY TRANS RIGHTS AND ENBY RIGHTS AND IF I FIND IT AGAIN ILL SEND IT TO YOU-- YOU COULD PROBABLY FIND IT IF YOU LOOM UP GLADOS SAYS TRANS RIGHTS? IT HAS A VIDEO WITH TRANS FLAG COMPANION CUBES ACCOMPANYING IT-- ALSO YES THE PORT MODS(/ADD-ONS? MAYBE? THEY'RE COMMUNITY MADE I THINK BUT IDK ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEYRE COOL AF--) (also I apologize for all the screaming? XD it's like, four am and I was talking about portal so.. whoops?)

Right like wth???? I???? Okay but like December to February babies just fuckin DONT EXIST IN THIS GEN OR SOMETHIN-- CAUSE I FIND N O N E -- Maybe there are more December babies but there are definitely like NO January to February babies it is So Weird--

NEJFQOBGKW WOWW d an g like-p l e a se s t op over sp r aying-- xD and LEGITTTT LIKE- THAT WAS M Y ROLE TO STAY UP LATE- XDD

WHEHEHEZE- LAUNDRY BASKET TIME- G E T I N XDD anD YESS- any doggo is just such a cute doggo 😭💞💞 but for me- fLUFFY ONES ARE WHERE ITS A T- and ohhhh i see- FOR FREE?? W H A T A S T E A L XDD but awwww the poor doggg at least she's with you now ! ;0;; 💞💞😭 aaw such a lovable puppup 😭😭💞 and oHHH i see :00 but oh no- xD i also have a friend that has two dogs and whenever he would give me gifts- there would be dog hair on them no matter what- XDD and ooOhhh those sound really helpful! omg- i swear i dont have to have a pet for the need of a roomba- i already shed so much hair myself its so crazy-- xDD and oH MAN loud animals are really gon get my mom fired up- and OO birds just look so cuteee i always fantasize of having one- but then again- with the noise and all xD the more i think about it i dont think we are prepared to have a pet at all xD but i still dream of at least having one pet in my lifetime!

and OO that sounds awesome!! i have no clue if i even tried casserole before- man- sometimes i just eat food without even knowing wth it is XDDD but THAT SOUNDS so gooodddd :O

and LEGITT LIKE- TF IS HAPPENING WITH MY SCHOOL LIFE- XDD and oh my god- IT GETS WORSE- that year there was a FREAKINGG FIREEEEEEE- it wasnt that dangerous thank god- but it had to get a whole ass room renovated because of it- and guess what room it was- THE ORCHESTRA ROOM- AND GUESS WHAT M A D E I T W OR SE- that year- it was the first time the school replaced those 10+ year old instruments with new ones- NOW THEYRE B U R N T- and mind you that the school's budget isnt so- gr e a t- like oh my god i am still so bewildered over HOW MUCH chaos HAPPENED that year- and i thought that year was gon be the year- yknow? like UGH

and OHH MANN playing portal sounds awesome! but i just dont think the game would be worth my money cause i know the plot- and even with the mods and all my brain would be broken as i would possibly have no clue what to do- xDDD

and HOOOO MANNN game fan songs are just so AWESOMEEE- and those sound pretty cool! :OO and HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH- GLADOS SAYS TRANS AND ENBY RIGHTS Y A LL- now im gonna look that up and let my ears be blessed by such words- XDDD and DONT WORRY BOUT SCREAMING ALOT- i scream a whole dam lot too XDD

and LEGITTT- finding someone's b-day in january and feb is so rare all of a sudden like wh a t - XDD

[ddurandal]

MEET: SOONCHAN

— YMMD Series: Part 1

— YMMD Series: | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

— fic masterlist

— type: narrative

— genre: contemporary, fluff

— words: 1,945

Chan wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or angry. Maybe he was feeling both. The guy across him just read a whole paragraph from his physics book in a not-so-loud-but-highly-audible-voice, and Chan didn't sit well with that. He was supposed to be studying dance theory, but with the way things were going, he might memorize physics formulas instead.

He was at the library, trying to cram half of the semester for the midterms exam next week. The place wasn't his ideal spot to spend his afternoon. However, with exams coming up in just a week, he figured he should just cram all of his lessons and maybe, at the very least, get a passing grade. He wasn't the only one working hard to get a passing grade as well. The library was full of students. But he wasn't really sure if he was lucky or not, since yes, he did find an empty seat—the only one left unoccupied— and soon found out why no one was sitting there. The guy across him who was wearing a shirt that was buttoned up to the very last button jittered and mumbled everytime he read from his thick physics book. Chan internally groaned and for a split second thought of throwing chips at the guy so he’d shut up and leave, but then decided against it. By the looks of it though, the passing grade was a blurry ambition as the guy across him tried to open a bottle of iced coffee, and then accidentally spilled it all on the table.

“Fuck,” Chan muttered as he grabbed his book and notebooks away from the liquid. The other guy beside him did the same thing.

“Oh no,” the guy said, eyes wide and now scared. “I’m so sorry!”

“Dude,” the other guy said, “you're making a mess.”

“I'm really sorry! I’ll clean it up fast. I’m so sorry.”

Chan sighed and placed his things on his seat, then he used a scratch paper to help Physics Guy clean the mess up.

“I think I have a pack of tissues in my bag,” the other guy offered. “Can I put my things on your chair while I get it?”

Chan mumbled a ‘yeah, sure’ not really looking at him. He could see the librarian was already on her way to them, anger evident on her face.

“Both of you,” she said as she reached their table. “Get out.”

“I didn't—” Chan tried to explain to her how any of this wasn't his fault at all, but the librarian’s face was already set and any he thought any more protests from him would result in him being banned from the building. So he decided to shut up and gather his things as quickly as he could.

When he was at the door, the physics guy caught up to him and apologized again. Chan had no choice but to smile it off even though, honestly, he was slightly pissed.

He decided to go to a coffee shop instead.

Chan had to call off teaching a few kids the new routine he’d thought of last night. Though, he did bring the black notebook with him to study. He brought it everywhere with him. Inspiration always striked at the oddest of hours and he needed the black notebook to write everything down, or else he was going to forget it all at once.

He went to the nearest coffee shop he could find, sat on a booth and arranged his stuff on the table. “Fine,” he murmured to himself. “Let's get this over with.” He checked his bag for the black notebook, but it wasn’t there.

What the hell, he whispered to himself, rummaging through his backpack.

He was sure he brought it with him to the library, and he was sure he placed it inside his bag before going out of the building. He was panicking now since he had just written a new choreography last night but he couldn’t remember the details.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he cursed under his breath. Where could it be? Did he leave it in the library? Did Physics Guy accidentally mistake it as his own notebook? Did someone else take it? He had no damn clue but his heart was already racing. Where is his goddamn black notebook?

As if on cue, his phone chimed, announcing a new text message.

I have your notebook. It had your name and number written on the first page.

Chan, who was nervous as hell, thought it sounded like a message from a kidnapper asking for ransom. Or maybe he was just being dramatic. As fuck.

I need it back. Where should we meet? I’ll get it.

The person who had his notebook seemed like a slow replier. Chan was already biting the nail on his thumb for more or less two minutes. Still no reply.

“Maybe this is a scam,” Chan murmured to himself. However, if this was a scam, how would've this person known he lost his notebook in the first place? He also wrote his name and number on the first page in case it was lost.

His phone chimed again. This is the address.

Chan squinted at the words on the message. He sure was quick to give an address. Nevertheless, he still packed his things and went in search for his notebook.

The address the person gave him was of an old record store. Chan had to ask around because he hadn't been in this part of town before. At first, he thought the guy was shitting him and this was all some sick plan to, maybe, lure him into something illegal. Turns out, the record store was real.

It was a hole in the wall kind which sold old vinyls and CDs. Chan found a Michael Jackson Thriller vinyl, which, of course, was expensive as hell. It was kept inside a glass case, a sort of memorabilia of vintage records for sale.

He looked around, there was no one there that looked like someone his age. Where could this person be? He decided to fish his phone out of his pocket and send him a text.

I’m here. Where are you?

Minutes later, no reply.

Chan sighed and went to the cashier, who looked a few years older than him. He wore a simple blue t-shirt that said ‘worlds away’ and was playing some type of shooting game on his phone.

“Hi,” Chan greeted. The guy at the counter looked up from his game and immediately paused it.

“Is there something you need?” He said, smiling at Chan, showing a dimple on the corner of his mouth. His nametag said 'Seungcheol.’

“Uh,” Chan answered,”yeah. I was wondering if someone—a guy my age—came here? Like, a while ago? Holding a black notebook?”

Damn it. Chan realized he had come here so clueless. He went on a whim, following the guy’s instructions without even knowing what he looked like. He just really wanted his notebook back.

“Oh,” the guy’s eyes widened, “Are you Chan?"

Chan’s eyebrows furrowed, confused. “Yeah, but how did you—”

“The MJ record there is yours,” Seungcheol said, smiling.

“What?” He was even more confused now. “But it's expensive. I don't have money for it.”

“Don't worry. It's already paid.”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. “What do you mean ‘paid’?”

“The guy you're looking for,” Seungncheol said, “he bought it. Said you liked MJ. He was holding a black notebook, like you said.”

Chan was now outside the record store, holding a paper bag with the MJ vintage record inside that, apparently, had been bought for him. Seungcheol didn't provide anymore didn't of who the guy was. He hurriedly gave Chan the record and went back to his game.

He grabbed his phone again and sent a text to the person.

What's this?

He snapped a photo of the paper bag and hit send.

Immediately, a reply came.

Hope you like it. :D

He wasn't sure if he was even allowed to like it. He was just immensely confused. Was this guy even serious or not?

Look, I don't know who tf you are, but if you just stole my notebook just to make fun of me I swear I will find you.

Again, the person replied immediately.

No, please don't think that. I knew you liked MJ and I just really wanted to make your day better.

“How did you know I liked MJ?” Chan murmured to his phone, looking at the iMessage cursor blinking at him. What was he supposed to say? Did this guy know him? Is he supposed to be creeped out? Chan didn't know what to feel at all, except that he just really wanted to get his notebook back.

He sighed and sent a reply saying just that.

I just really want my notebook back. Please give it back.

The person didn't reply immediately this time. Perhaps, Chan thought, he was contemplating giving it back now. He’ll finally meet him, and he planned to give the MJ record back to him too.

His phone chimed. Chan looked up from the paperbag in his hand that he hadn't realized he was staring at.

Okay. I guess I stressed you out. I hadn't intended to. I'd like to make it up to you. Let me buy you coffee.

Chan took a cab back to the coffee shop, clutching the paperbag next to him. Was he nervous? Very much so. He was finally going to meet this guy. He didn't know what this guy’s plan was but Chan just wanted to get this over with.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw him, smiling, looking down at his coffee. Beside the cup was his black notebook. He had texted him the address of the coffee shop and what he was wearing. Simple graphic white shirt and jeans, and his backpack beside him. Just like what he wore in the library when he asked Chan if it was okay to put his things on his seat. Just like when he offered Chan a pack of tissues.

Chan walked up slowly to him, realizing now who he was. Of course he still had to ask him why he stole the notebook and how the hell he knew he liked MJ, but his heart still skipped a beat.

“Hi,” the guy smiled up at him. “Please sit.”

“You're back,” was all Chan could say, not moving an inch.

The guy chuckled at him, “Yeah, I am. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But here I am.”

“Soonyoung…” Words seemed to have left Chan’s mind and mouth. He couldn't say a word. He didn't know what to say. Instead, memories invaded his brain, ones that happened a year ago, ones that had the man in front of him in them.

He remembered when Soonyoung kissed his forehead after his team won the dance competition. He remembered how they had matching smoothies in the same café they were in right now, except Chan only had black coffee now. He remembered how Soonyoung had to leave that day, uncertain when he would be back. He remembered he had to leave because his brother had been in a bad accident. He remembered how they had lost connection.

And now, here they were, meeting again, in the same place where they had first met.

“Maybe I should introduce myself again,” Soonyoung stood up, offering his hand for Chan to shake. “Hi, I'm Soonyoung. Nice to meet you.”

Chan, slowly, took his hand, and looked up at him. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he was smiling. “Nice to meet you too. I'm Chan.”

— • —

[exhaustedpotato]

New BFFF

You slowly drifted back into reality, the dream you were just having still lingering on your mind, as the sudden realization that your alarm clock was going off. You rolled over and smacked the top of it, palm pressing down on the "shut tf up" button.

Still groggy from sleep, you blinked and stared at the alarm clock. 7am

You grumbled and dug your face back into your pillow, annoyed with yourself for having set the alarm on a Saturday, one of your days off from work. Somehow, sleep didn't find it's way back to you, and you guessed you'd take the opportunity to "seize the day", you said sleepy, out loud, arms lifted up into the air, reaching towards the ceiling.

Giving a stretch, you finally sat up in bed, your hair a mess. You looked around your scarcely decorated bedroom, taking in the fact you lived on your own and hard next to nothing.

It's been 3 months since you moved out and got your own apartment. You really enjoyed the alone time and responsibilities of living on your own, but at times like today, the emptiness of it all pulled at your heart a bit.

You always thought of adopting a pet, and we're finally in a place in your life where you could. People weren't really your thing, so a room mate was out of the question, but a new animal friend? That appealed to you.

That's when you decided.

"Today, I'll go looking for a new animal to bring home. Make this little apartment a home."

You took your time waking up and getting ready for the day, running through your usual routine of coffee > breakfast > teeth > hair > clothes > panic over clothes > wearing the same jeans and hoodie you always wore on your days off.

Finally having the gumption to get out of the house, you looked up near by pet stores. And sweet, one was in walking distance!

Grabbing your ear buds, you threw on some shoes and got out, walking lazily towards the pet shop, enjoying the day. It was easy to walk around when you had your music helping drown out the noises of everyday life - something that can really be stressful - and the ear buds are a great excuse not to speak to random strangers.

"Though, I myself am random." You whispered to yourself, giving half a chuckle.

It wasn't long until you lost yourself in thought, deciding over what type of pet you'd actually want. You had some money saved up, so price didn't really matter, but you still wondered what animal would make a good companion and fit with your life style.

A dog might not be the best option, considering you worked full time and didn't get out for walks much. Maybe a cat? Or a bird. Heck, you even considered reptiles, fish, and rodents. Nearing the store, you figured you would watch the various animals and try to make a decision that way.

You finally made it, and pushed through the glass door that had a sign reading "Open." Taking your ear buds out, the sound of various animals and people talking filled your ears, but you smiled and lazily wandered around, pausing every now and then to watch whatever animal that caught your attention.

You found yourself staring for quite some time at... The snakes. Holy hell some of those wiggly sticks were cute. You were eyeing a large snake, that held a unique pattern of spots, covered in various shades of brown that ended in a reddish tone on the tail, when you became uncomfortably aware of someone standing behind you.

You furrowed your brow and tried to wait them out, but the smell of ... Breath hit you.

You wanted to cover your nose, the faint smell of death and .... Ice cream? filling your nostrils. You slowly turned around to look at whoever was standing behind you, only to end up slack jawed, staring at some green-haired dude, holding a snake?

He wasn't paying attention to you, but rather holding one of the stores snakes, something you didn't think was allowed. You eventually snapped somewhat back into reality, coming to the realization that this dead looking man was baby talking a snake.

You chuckled a bit at the sight, audibly enough that the man snapped his head around and locked eyes on you. You suddenly felt extremely self conscious, feeling rude for having been staring, let alone laughing.

"S-sorry." You stammered out, giving an apologetic grin. You paused for a moment, the man still staring at you. You realized the man was holding the exact same type of snake you had been watching and your eyes lit up.

"Oh! I was admiring that type of snake! You're handling one? Do they make good starter pets for a beginner snake handler? I was here looking for...."

You were rambling off about snakes and wanting a pet and how you were thinking of maybe getting a snake and something about rats and what you were planning on naming a wiggle stick if you got one.

The man eventually chuckled and reached his hands out towards you, the snake coiled around both his hands.

You swore your eyes twinkled as you reached out and felt the cool scales of the snake with your finger tips. "So smooth, so pretty." You whispered, your mind made up on what pet you now wanted.

"Do you handle snakes a lot? Can you fill me in? The readers digest version? A condensed soup version of how to get started?" You asked, still feeling this snake up, completely enamored.

Eventually the man spoke up. "I guess I could help ya out. If ya ever need me, just gotta call. 3 times is the ticket and I'll be at your service." He stated, giving a wink.

Yeah, you were confused- but he had green hair, makeup? and was just baby talking this snake. You couldn't really blame him for being weird, besides, you engaged.

You just kinda looked embarrassed again and ask what he meant.

He handed you a business card- old and dirty- that vaguely read 'Beetleguese, beetleguese, beetleguese."

"Goose?" You mummbled our loud, brow furrowed.

The man just slapped himself in the face before shaking his head. "That's not how you say it."

You looked back to him and asked how you did say it.

He shrugged and reached out, flicking your nose.

"Figure it out." He chuckled, before completely vanishing from sight.

You blinked, a lot, confused and now holding this snake. "Whhhhaaat. The hell. Just happ- Ah! Snake!"

The snake was wiggling it's way up your arm and into your face, it's little tongue flicking against your cheek.

You melted, and flagged down an employee, though annoyed you picked up an animal which, apparently, 'you're not allowed to do', helped you gather everything you needed for a snake.

Man, this was one expensive pet, but you were already committed and even named her "Wormy." So names weren't your thing today- who cares- you did.

"We'll work on the name." You promised your new pet, your new friend, and found yourself walking home, a sleeping snake draped around your shoulders.

"Goose? Guys? Geese? Beetle... Guys. Beetle... Geese... Beetlejuice?" You mummbled to yourself, trying to 'figure it out' on your walk home.

You eventually found yourself at home, checking your phone clock. The pet stop arranged to deliver the snakes cage and extras for you in the next half hour.

"There's no way it's Beetlejuice. That's so weird. Beetlejuice? Really? Pfft. Three times? What does that even mean. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice?"

(To be continued, if wanted. First attempt at writing a fiction. 😅)

[astargatelover]

Watching The da Vinci Code for the first time - A documentation

-  About to watch The da Vinci Code for the first time. It’s about 3AM. Back of the DVD says the movie’s almost 2h30 long. Will approximately be going to bed at about 6AM. I gotta be crazy.

- Back of the DVD also says (translated from German): In the middle of the night the (…) is (…) Langdon (TOM HANKS) in the (…) director was murdered. His (?) (…) that of the Vitruvian Man (…) is the first horrible clue (…) and symbols. At the risk of his life (something something) Langdon – and from then on it’s a normal description, it’s just that that part is obscured by the library stamp. So I can confidently say I totally know what’s going on in this movie! *serious nod*

- Third highlight of the back of the DVD: Ian McKellen, grumpy-looking monk dude and a guy looking like Palpatine. And the Louvre.

- Also in the movie: Some German I don’t know (but yay!) and Paul Bettany. He’s cool; I really liked him in A Knight’s Tale.

- Let’s get this show on the road!

- …gotta update my media player. One sec!

- There we go. …where’s the always-on-top button? Ah, found it! Light’s off in my room; cinema time.

- Music’s already nice in the menu.

- Audio: English. (More nice music.) Subtitles: (Hey, they have Turkish on offer!) Off.

- (They even have subtitles for the trailers. But no extras. Am miffed. What kind of bare-bones DVD is this?!)

- 20 minutes after the first “about” up there: Play movie.

- Fancy title cards.

- Dude running. He’s gonna die; I know that much.

- Paul!

- *sigh*

- Oooooh, it’s Robert. That’s a lot of applause.

- (Btw, in case you didn’t know: I have watched Angels & Demons because I love Ernesto Olivetti a crazy amount.)

- I like Robert. Awesome presentation.

- Also like Tom Hanks. He’s great.

- Accents, y’all.

- Latin? Latin. Italian? No, definitely Latin.

- Ouch. Self-flagellation. Ooooooouch. Some religious people are crazy.

- Dude, you can barely stand. I’m a sadist and I don’t want you doing that to you.

- We’re only 10 minutes in, my goodness.

- Claustrophobia! I relate to that.

- Just let the dude take the stairs.

- Wow.

- Priests.

- Have I mentioned I’m not a big fan of catholics? Nothing personal.

- Also: Autistic Langdon, symbology special interest.

- French.

- Sophie! Heard of her.

- Strange happenings.

- Oooooooooh.

- French lady. I don’t speak French.

- *window jump scare*

- We don’t trust the police guy.

- Conspiracies!

- Fuck.

- “Once he starts, he doesn’t stop.” He’s like Javert.

- Climb out the window?

- More French.

- Oooooooh! They’re so tricking them, aren’t they? They’re not dumb.

- Bye bye!

- I’m sorry for Sophie.

- (I saw that part where her grandfather got shot years ago.)

- Here we go with the anagrams.

- Eidetic memory (pretty much) - firms up my autism headcanon.

- Can you even get that close to the Mona Lisa irl?

- Tom Hanks has a really nice nose. xD

- Langdon’s so good with anagrams.

- It’s like a scavenger hunt.

- Ooh, Musketeer symbol.

- Chase music!

- Flashback with crazy meetings.

- A smart! I get to bop someone now.

- Ooh, Les Mis.

- Backwards! That’s impressive.

- She’s so gonna make it.

- She made it!

- Bye bye, mirror.

- Paul’s looking angry.

- Someone got stabbed. I sense guilt.

- More dead people.

- Holy water.

- A nun.

- A rose line.

- Is he gonna kill her? She seems nervous.

- MORE FRENCH.

- Red light zone.

- (It’s raining outside. Kinda sets the mood.)

- You stay away from that dude, nun.

- Saving a junkie?

- (Sophie’s a really nice name, btw.)

- He rambles when he gets the chance so much. Really reminds me of special interests. (And in case anyone takes issue with that, I should know. I’m autistic. I have them.)

- My parents just watched Knightfall. Now I know some about the templars’ fall.

- Sophie didn’t know they were supposed to protect the Holy Grail? Really? Huh.

- Moooooore French.

- Please don’t die, nun.

- That’s some scar under his eye.

- Those look like some anger issues.

- It’s the grumpy-looking monk dude.

- Seriously, I understand more Latin than French.

-  “Blood is being spilled” as he’s spilling wine, that’s great.

- Freeeeeeeeeench.

- “I don’t think he liked me very much. He once made a joke at my expense.” I relate to this guy so hard on the autism level.

- It’s the German dude.

- That’s some system they’ve got at that bank.

- You call that a rose?

- I’m with Langdon here. Safe passage?

- Aww, poor guy. I’ve got claustrophobia, too, and I haven’t even got a traumatizing event behind me. (I read that somewhere.)

- I like the driver.

- A lot. Nice one with the watch.

- Langdon, you look sick. Please don’t die, y’all.

- JESUS CHRIST.

- Poor Sophie. </3 Woah.

- How tf did that truck get there?

- That bullet. Smaaart move. *thumbs up*

- Ouch.

- Bye bye again.

- Do I like the police captain? I don’t know.

- The tea convo. xD

- Is Langdon like this in the books? I hope he is.

- How old is Sophie? *googles Audrey Tatou* (Ooh, Amélie!) *checks when movie was made* ‘bout 30.

- Yaaaaaas, Ian.

- Also please don’t die.

- (Both my faves in Angels & Demons die. I’m vorbelastet and can’t find a good English word for that.)

- Jesus was cool.

- Those helmets. Feathers!

- “Not even his nephew twice removed.” xDDD

- Is that paisley? *googles* It is. Nice!

- Just in case you’re wondering, I am typing this as I watch the movie. I’m not saying I’m not missing anything, but I like multitasking.

- *googles The last Supper* Wow, no cup.

- Genital symbols.

- Wombs open towards the ground, though. People with them aren’t constantly doing handstands.

- Have I mentioned one of my favorite movies is Dogma, which postulates that Jesus had siblings? I’m liking this conversation.

- “Companion meant spouse.” My gay ass likes this.

- If that is Mary Magdalene, though, which apostle is missing? Been wondering this for years.

- Scions. I like this.

- I’m all for sex positivity.

- Your time’s kinda running out, guys.

- Almost halfway through, now.

- Do you seriously believe they’re murderers?

- Why do you wear your police thingies like a blind man’s band?

- Was overall expecting a bit more running in this movie, I guess.

- Poor Sophie. This is a lot to take in.

- Beating someone up with crutches! Yas!

- Like, ouch.

- Do you happen to have a secret passage under your house? Would come in real handy.

- Oh, Zürich! Man, accents. Barely understood that.

- Frehehench.

- In my personal experience claustrophobic people aren’t generally fans of planes. That might just be me, though.

- Still don’t know Paul’s character’s name.

- We are leaving the country.

- That haircut. On the dude with the grumpy-looking monk.

- Does Jesus having a family beside his parents somehow make him less holy? *shrug*

- FRENCH.

- Police brutality?

- “Please”? Seriously? I understood that much and you’re a dick.

- This is, like, some Order of the White Lotus stuff.

- You need a mirror? You can’t read it otherwise? Huh. Well, I guess it’s just easier.

- I really like Lee.

- How many more ways can I angrily write French? (I don’t have anything against the language per se. I just don’t understand what they’re saying and that irks me. There aren’t even subtitles for that. I feel like there are supposed to be subtitles.)

- (It is nice, however, that they’re sticking to the languages they’d actually be speaking. I wonder if it’s all German in German.)

- Yo, police. Be more subtle. You could have laid a trap.

- “You can start with him.” Hm! xD

- “I could run them over.” !! Man, this is great.

- This is like a fucking magic trick.

- You know what, I wanna watch that again.

- The DVD did not like that, so now I get to look at the “pick scene” menu. At least there’s more nice music.

- Just out of curiosity… *checks* There are 24 chapters and I’m at the 16th.

- I can understand more French when I concentrate on it, but I’ve been too annoyed about it so far.

- Never had French at school, btw. But have a bit of a talent for languages. When it comes to those I can sometimes cobble meaning together from context and existing knowledge.

- “The French cannot be trusted”, sounds so ominous.

- As a fan of Angels & Demons, I am very interested in what the Vatican has to say about all this.

- Told ya we don’t like planes.

- Naww, Sophie. Arm pat, yas.

- How do you accidentally fall into a well feet first? Hmm…

- Saved by pigeons, wow.

- Paul’s eyes are super blue.

- Is he gonna get killed?

- What an old-ass phone.

- I’m worried about that newspaper.

- How they’re keeping the identity of the teacher secret is A+, shooting-wise.

- “Your identity shall go with me to the grave.” Did he know he was gonna die?

- Nice one!

- Is the second movie this long? *checks* Not quite.

- Seriously. Unnaturally blue eyes.

- Shoot-out.

- I can kinda see where Lee’s coming from. Don’t agree with the method, but…

- Did a shoulder-shot really kill him?

- See? Nope.

- I think I do kinda like the police captain.

- Have I mentioned my attraction to side characters?

- Oh, that tiny wound on her neck. I like the attention to detail.

- And those stained glass windows! Pretty.

- His mind! Wow.

- I wanna see this scene without music and special effects, though, to see what Sophie and Lee see. Must be pretty weird. xD

- Dramatic musiiiiic.

- Police captain coming through! Yas.

- Robert’s like “What is happening?”

- Man, those poor policemen with the screaming dude in the back of the car.

- Can’t resist a challenge, can you?

- It’s hecking dark behind that doorway.

- Can they get away with getting rid of all the villains half an hour before the movie’s over?

- Now she’s all Ghost Whisperer-like.

- I like the way it sounds when she calls him Robert.

- (Doing some more googling. Ah, it’s Leigh. I see.)

- Who are these guys? Something bad’s happening.

- Flashbacks and MORE FRENCH.

- Wonder if Robert and Sophie use the formal you in German. It wouldn’t fit.

- Sophie’s world is kinda falling apart.

- (She’s like Bethany in Dogma. Don’t know if anyone here even knows Dogma, but I love it.)

- Family reunion! Who put those onions here?

- See? Robert and I agree. Why should a family make Jesus less holy?

- I really like this friendship. I hope they’ll meet again.

- Checking if she can walk on water. xD

- Hey, it’s the Eiffel tower! And it’s playing light house.

- Blood.

- What? What is it?

- Wow.

- This music is real nice.

- 7 minutes of credits.

- Again, though: The music is nice.

[hoshalicious]

sugar daddy!joshua

tbh

joshua sounds like he would be the sweetest sugar daddy you’ll ever encounter

he would always ask you like “do you want this? i’ll buy it for you!”

you can’t RESIST his cute smile and you had no other choice but to let him do it

it’s like his politeness will just,,mELT YOU jfc

one time there was this speaker that you wanted for pool parties at his house and somehow he just bought it without you even realizing

just by looking at your stares, he just knows that you want something

he’s a really well-known model and singer in korea and america because we all know he’s a toTAL visual and has a great voice !!

he also loves giving away money for charity, he a good man

usually it’s like a lot of money he gives away and the charity have huge respect for him

both of you met in high school during math class

whenever one of you guys are in trouble, y’all would help each other

like y’all were the smartest ones in the class when it comes to you two as partners

but a lot of people don’t even realize it because you both always play around when it comes to partner work

and others think you two don’t know nothinG about what they have learned today too bc this classroom is too damn hard

but the thing was y’all did not have the heart to tell the teacher that you were both done in a matter of 5 minutes

“josh, tell the teacher that we’re done—“

“no you! you’re more outgoing than i am..”

but later on, you both hung out together all the time after school

and throughout high school, you never thought you would fall for your best friend

he even made an instagram not too long after graduation

it was mostly sceneries and selfies

most of the time it’s selfies

one time he posted a video of himself playing the guitar and wow shiT GOT WILD

everyone loved his voice and playing the guitar !!

he even said that the song was made for a special girl he has known since high school

ofc being yoU

and that’s how his singing career took place bc he posted some of his videos on youtube and insta

and after you saw his video of him singing, he asked you out,,,and you were screaming your head off bc he felt the same way as you did to him !!

he knew if he became really famous, he would definitely spoil you really hard

and that’s exaCTLY WHAT HE DID

SPOIL YOU

“y/n, you want this new car?? i’ll buy one for you!!”

“joshua, wait what—“

even when he’s famous, he still wanted to attend college either for a film or acting major

one time when he had to be away for a long time in south korea, he gave you $10K so you can enjoy yourself and you not feel too sad missing him

he had to do photoshoots for modeling

but uh,,,

you still felt sad that you’re not with him, money or not

but you did buy A LOT of clothes, mostly the ones that are like $10 bc you thought ‘why tf would you buy a pair of shorts for $80 or a shirt for $120’

“ooh this shirt is nice for $7, i’ll definitely take it i have no shame”

i mean y’all live in los angeles

usually joshua is the one buying you expensive clothes, and they were pretty too !!

the bad thing is that you had to hide yourself from other people

technically you’re famous too bc you’re dating joshua hong !11!1!

so sunglasses and a large hoodie will do

you even dyed your hair so people won’t know you as much

he once wanted to take you out to eat but you suggested you wanted to eat somewhere that’s a little less expensive, like some kind of mexican restaurant

you’re always emotional for how lucky you are

joshua will always make you feel so much better and he has full trust in you

he just knows that you won’t be with him just for the money because you’ve been there for him ever since high school

you both always cheer each other up and that’s what makes joshua feel so loved and appreciated besides his own fans

he would always agree with your decisions,,

you want a dog? you get a dog

a bigger tv? bought

a concert to see your favorite band/artist? his ass will not hesitate to buy you and your or his friends tickets

i’m telling you, the dude will never chill spending stuff for you

just a big smile and you’re like well shit i guess i have to buy this now

but it makes you so happy

and he just can’t get over your smiles and your positivity

a sugar daddy and a gentleman ?? SCORE

joshua would probably be both of them. love him. ♡

abi; august 2, 2018.

[xuebird]

12 21 23

12. ghosts or monsters?

Monsters, of course! The only use I have for ghosts is my friends’ scared reactions to the movies but :/

21. share a funny story 

Okay so one, I have v bad memory and can’t really recall anything funny; and two, am a pretty bad storyteller, so since Rhine has so kindly shared her prom story I’m going to share mine! It’s not really funny tbh, more like a wtf kind of story but anyway!!!

The dynamics in my country would take A While to explain, so I’m going to skip that ( but like come to me if you want confusing explanations ), but basically most of the girl friends I had were my friends because there was no one else who ran in similar kind of circles?? It’s v complicated but I was never v comfortable with them because they were the sort of conceited type + liked to stir up drama, I was a lot closer to the guys and one or two girls. Anyway, most of them were on prom committee because we were considered the popular clique, I guess?? But I didn’t want to go because tickets are expensive and like … I didn’t want to pay to spend time with them lmao. A lot of them had been trying to convince me to go the whole time, especially because of another Thing, which is a whole other story.

Anyway, fast forward to literally two days before prom, and one of my guy best friends is like, dude, my girlfriend can’t make it last minute, take the ticket. It took some convincing, mostly because I really didn’t want to spend more time around Those Girls, but in the end I did decide to go, which led to a panic about where tf was I going to find a formal dress, and me half tempted to show up in jeans. One day before, when we were talking to some of my friends’ friends, a girl offered to lend me one, so I showed up to prom in a dress borrowed from a girl I literally just met the day before lmao.

Prom was as I expected it to be tbh ( not v well run ) but then we drank after that, and I wasn’t supposed to stay over, but my ride had been drinking, and I was supposed to go for a frisbee tournament the next day. At 5am I told the friend that was supposed to be picking me up that I didn’t think I could make it to the tournament because I was stuck, and all my stuff was at home, and then he literally came to get me from the hotel, back to my place, and then to the tournament, speeding all the way, we made what was supposed to be an almost two hour’s journey in one. And I ended up playing that tournament with no sleep. 

Tbh I think this was less of a funny story and more of a testament to my habit of somehow managing to survive with last minute things, but ya lmao I still can’t believe I survived that.

23. describe yourself in two words

I had this as my discord username before but Chaotic Mess sounds about right fsdjksjdkflk

[fictionalginger]

wandavision ep 7 review + recap | hella spoilers

so let’s start with that opening shall we?

I feel like they made the seriousness of this situation into such a funny and very developed way of modern family it was goooood! but it also showed that (maybe) Wanda used too much power on ep 6 and the hex is slowly glitching/collapsing, like she’s losing her grip on her fake reality.

and then the missing kid on the milk carton was a bit odd, is it jimmy’s missing person? (I have a whole ass theory post on this right here)

also, sugar snaps...really?

onto the intro

i’m gonna guess this was agatha agnes ...all along

so I don’t like Hayward, at all, I have my theories about him, but overall I don’t like him. What is he launching? Is he gonna nuke Westview? What’s their jurisdiction tho? This dude’s just doing whatever he wants. WHERE’S SHIELD?

Now that scene about that man is not your uncle, it confirms that it isn’t Pietro, but is it really Peter or an impostor?

Agatha Agnes volunteering to babysit the kids seems a bit sus to me, it is my opinion that she needs the kids for what idk, but she wants to age them up that’s why I theorized she’s killed sparky (and it was confirmed at the end of ep7). I will say that she’s just so effortlessly funny that it’s hard to hate her.

Then we see Wanda kind of losing her grip on things bc she cant control her fake reality (which gave a v relatable meme tbh)

So, Jimmy and Monica did get the files Hayward had, it’s on something called project Cataract, which, again I’ve got some theories on, I think this dude cloned vision or something similar. I was very disappointed I did not see John Krasinski as Reed Richard aka the aerospace engineer or even Adam Brashear, BUT they didn’t say that major Goodner WAS the aerospace engineer, she could’ve just been the messenger. I also think major Goodner is perhaps going to play a key role in making Monica take over S.W.O.R.D

Vision and Darcy, the comedic duo we didn’t know we needed.

also,

THE AD

this goddaaaammmmmed ad, it’s been fucking with my head so badly. the amount of meaning it could have.

I believe it’s more of a nod towards Wanda being a nexus being and of course the fact that to escape her grief and depression she created her own perfect little world where she and vision loved happily ever after at the expense of others. But that 's just me.

So Billy I guess has some sort of telepathic powers and wanda losing her shit prob means he was hearing a bunch of stuff or static who knows, and I mean the way he said "you’re quiet agnes...on the inside” was creepy af but he’s a kid, i did notice though that this scene had absolutely no sound other than them speaking

I will say that I had high hopes for that car, but somehow it didn’t go through so how does whatever Hayward is planning to launch is ever going to go through? Also, Monica just stomping right through and the voices of her mom and Carol being what pulled her through was just *chef’s kiss* perfect. I’m guessing her eyes glowed *that* color because of the type of energy she was looking at bc they glowed a different color at the end. Also, Jimmy’s now alone outside the hex, either something happens to him or he’s also gonna go in there to get them out. (bff goals tbh)

I absolutely thought we were gonna get a Wanda vs Monica showdown, but I guess not yet, Agnes swooping in didn’t sit right with me because it happened as soon as Monica started to get through to her, also why was that one shot of Dottie so important. Wanda, you’re not the villain babe, you’re a victim

Was it Wanda not letting Vision go home or was it Agatha?

So here’s where it gets juicy, Wanda realizes her children are nowhere in sight, goes down to the creepy ass basement and finds another passageway to a creepier part of the the basement except as soon as she goes through the image turns to the ratio we see on the “outside” world which makes me think her basement is somehow outside the hex i guess.

This wasn’t as much of a reveal for me, I called this since the trailers came out but I still GASPED ok, I kinda lost it and I’m writing this right before I watch ep 8 and i’ve had that song stuck in my head all week long…

That post credits scene was a bit confusing bc idk if “Pietro” is Pietro or if he’s Agatha’s minion or if he’s Peter who got snapped out of his mind control, also Monica’s eyes are purple now, is she reacting to agatha’s magic too?

what do i think?

That I’m going into episode 8 with more questions that I’ve got answers, if you’re interested in my theories they’re here. I will say that I think Agatha is not the main villain, I believe she’s kind of a pawn for somebody else, also where tf are the twins? I think we might see vision dead at the end of this show and I’m gonna be WRECKED ok. I need answers and if the next episode is as short as this I think we might not get many. So in conclusion,

If you’ve made it this far, thanks!