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fenoderee · 4 years ago

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Shinya [Drums] Interview

Our fourth solo interview is with Shinya, who is the foundation of the band. Shinya has been focusing on simple phrasing and groove in recent years, so how did he approach his latest album "Oboro"?

Basically I don't think about the details, I just do what comes to my mind and I don't worry about it.

-It seems that the songwriting process started very early on, but did you have the new album in mind from the beginning?

Shinya: That's right. I've been working on the songs for the new album. So we decided to release a single, and we talked about which of our existing songs we should release as a single, and "Oboro" was chosen.

-In your case, I personally feel that you've always written songs with a lot of energy or beauty. When you were thinking about the album, what kind of ideas and images did you have in your mind in the early stages of composition?

Shinya:I didn't really think about it before I wrote the song, I just started writing it, and as a result, I couldn't write anything but intense stuff.

-When you say "intense," do you mean songs with a fast BPM?

Shinya: That's right.

-There are several ways to compose a song, how did you do it this time?

Shinya: Recently, I've been using a plug-in guitar instrument that I really like. It has a lot of heavy sounds in it, so I just play it and think about what I want to do.

-What kind of composition system do you currently have at home? It is known to your fans that you are an Apple fanatic, and you seem to be changing to the latest version every year. Do you use the same kind of system for your compositions?

Shinya: It's the other way around, I'm very minimalistic now. I only use one laptop for composing.

-Do you want to install all your DTM software on the computer?

Shinya: That's right. I don't play guitar anymore when I write songs, so I've removed the audio interface. It's a very compact period.

-At the time of this writing, you are touring the country with the "Meguro Rokumeikan Gig", but if you take that computer with you, you can compose music in your dressing room?

Shinya: If I wanted to, I could, but I don't think I will (laughs).

-Did it change the way you came up with the ideas and the process of shaping the songs?

Shinya: That's right. When I used to compose, I used to play my guitar at home and write riffs by myself. But now I don't have a guitar and I'm working on it, so I think the guitar phrases I make have changed.

-So the intense songs you wrote were not chosen for the single, but do you have any plans to make it into the album?

Shinya: The song wasn't selected when it was written, so it was probably rejected (laughs).

-That's not something to say while laughing (laughs). By the way, Shinya, you're the type of person who actively goes to see other people's live performances. I think the main reason is because it's your favorite band or artist, but I also think that seeing a live performance can stimulate you in terms of calligraphy and creative therapy. Now that I have become a member of Corona, I can no longer go to live concerts, and DIR EN GREY has almost completely stopped performing. What do you do for musical input in such a situation?

Shinya: Hmmm... I don't think so at the moment (laughs). Especially when it comes to music.

-Do you ever go through various albums and videos by yourself?

Shinya: No, I don't. I just use what I have inside me right now.

-Shinya's musical tastes are well known to his fans, but is there anything new that has resonated with you during this composing process?

Shinya: Hmmm... I haven't explored anything new in the other solutions.

-Did you go back to your roots and what you like?

Shinya: No, I didn't think about that too much, I just made the songs naturally.

-How did you spend your time at stay home, as a musician and as an individual?

Shinya: I was doing nothing but editing videos (laughs). That's why I was spending most of my time on my YouTube channel.

-I've been watching it for a while now, and I'm also a subscriber to the channel, so please answer me politely (laughs).

Shinya: Oh, thank you very much (laughs).

-Of course it's fun to do, but is there anything exciting about it?

Shinya: When I was working on it, I thought that it was very similar to songwriting. You can keep working on it, and it never ends.

-If you want to be particular, you can go all the way.

That's right, even for a single video, there are endless things you can do.

-The timing of inserting a subtitle, the choice of font, etc.

Shinya: Yes, yes (laughs). Once you start paying attention to the details, there's really no end to it. It's similar to songwriting..

-Is Shinya the type of person who spends a lot of time focusing on various aspects of a song, even when he's writing it individually?

Shinya : With DIR EN GREY, I always bring the original songs to the studio before I've finished them. I know that as the members' ideas come in, it will definitely change from the shape I've created. That's why I don't go into too much detail (laughs), I only make it to a certain point because it's going to change anyway. I try to make it so that the members can understand the side of the song.

-You said that when you select songs in the band, you don't know who wrote which song. Do you ever get feedback from the band members afterwards?

Shinya: I was asked afterwards about the songs I wrote this time. "That's Shinya's song." Then, he said, "Oh, I liked it."

-So you've had that conversation? If you listen to the demo, do you know who made it?

Shinya: Yes, you're right. Yes, I don't have a definitive answer, but I can vaguely tell.

-Although it wasn't adopted, it's nice to be told that it's your favourite song.

Shinya: Well...yes, but the song selection is a majority decision.

-There are always multiple layers to a song, but each time you're inspired to write a new song from a different angle?

Shinya: No, I don't have any particular plans at the moment, since I'm in the middle of an explosive screening (laughs ). Once the songwriting starts again, I'm sure I'll be motivated like you said. I still have my computer with me, but I'm not writing songs, I'm collecting videos (laughs).

-That's a good point (laughs). You've been working on the album for a long time, what do you hope to achieve with it?

Shinya: Up until now, I've been thinking of songs that can evolve in a live setting, but this time, even if we make an album, we don't know if we will be able to perform live or tour like we have in the past. So I've been thinking about it with that situation in mind.

-In other words, rather than evolving through live performances, do you have a sense of construction that evolves completely during the production process?

Shinya: Well, to put it simply, it's a nuance.

-Do you want to take a different approach to the drums?

Shinya: No, when it comes to drum phrases, I don't think about the details, I just do what comes to my mind. I don't worry about it too much.

-What was your impression of this single, "Oboro", when you heard the original song?

Shinya: Well... I was working on several songs at the same time, and I don't remember what the original "Oboro" song sounded like.

-Were the other songs that you were arranging and pre-producing at the same time too strong for you?

Shinya: It was all very strong. The drum approach for "Oboro" was just what I thought of when I heard the original song, without any worries.

We're going to do a live performance for an audience on the 6th of May, but we don't know what's going to happen after that, so we're going to do it as if it might be our last one.

-You said that you often set up an electric drum machine at home and make drum arrangements while playing, is this the same style you used for "Oboro" and the new songs you were working on?

Shinya: When I'm thinking of drum phrases, I don't use an electric drum but just use the mouse. In the past, I used to focus on the basic groove of the song, and I used to add drum phrases while actually playing the drums. But the period of thinking while playing is over now…

-I didn't know you had such a time frame in mind (laughs). Thinking with the mouse is a way of avoiding the first days of DTM, isn't it?

Shinya: Yes, it's the way we did it in the beginning. I think the period of time I was thinking about it while I was in the city changed my way of thinking about drum place. It's hard to describe it in words (laughs).

-I'll take care of that. I'm a subscriber to the Shinya Channel, so be nice to me (lol).

Shinya: Well, I guess I should say I've got it all figured out. I've learned about the advantages of using an electric drum and the differences between using a mouse and thinking with an electric drum, and now I'm able to create phrases and grooves with just a mouse while playing the electric drum, so I think it's not a problem. I can now type in rhythms and phrases with the same time signature as if I were actually playing.

-Do you find it easier to come up with something unexpected by not thinking of phrases as you play?

Shinya: Yes, one of the advantages of playing the piano is that you can create phrases that you can't edit. You can create phrases that you can't edit with your own hands. That's why I started thinking about drum arrangements by typing with the mouse in the early days. In this song "Oboro", I used the mouse a lot in the A melody and other phrases. The demo phrases that I came up with using only the mouse were much stronger and weaker, but when I actually played them on live drums, I couldn't get that level of intensity.

-Do you mean simply the volume?

Shinya: That's right. The core of each sound has to come out properly in live drums, so even if you add a strong instrument, if it's too weak, the core won't come out. The image was different from the one I had in the mouse, but it turned out good, so I didn't have any trouble. I also thought a lot about the guitar in the drum braise of "Oboro". It's the solo part.

-It's a drum approach that is making a difference.

Shinya: Yes. I tried to make a good movement when I hit it. The form of the striking and the movement of the arms are flowing.

-You have a large number of cymbals anyway, and they are set up around the effects cymbals. Effect cymbals have a shorter blue sustain than normal cymbals. That's why when you use a lot of cymbals, do you consider the tendency of the sound of each cymbal and the length of the sustain while constructing the phrase itself?

Shinya: That's what I'm trying to do, to make it so that it's smooth and the previous movements flow. But when we were recording, we didn't talk about it that much. At the live show, I think "I used this cymbal on the recording, but I'll use that cymbal at the live show", so at the live show, I try to pursue the movement more.

-You‘re a drummer who can go beyond. You mentioned that you bring the same cymbals and settings to your recordings as you do live?

Shinya: There are as many cymbals as there are live, but the tycoons are more like two thimbles, two toms and one floor. It's a set of two toms and one floor.

-I think it's important to be careful when making drum sounds.

Shinya: Yes, it is. The drums are the most important part of the sound. I leave it to the tuner. I asked the tuner to listen to a demo of a drum phrase that I typed in with my mouse, and then I asked him to create a drum sound that would fit the phrase. I didn't start working with the drum tuner on recordings until 2019 (The World of Mercy), and he also joined me on several occasions during the tour. The sound on that tour was so good that we started asking them to play on 'The World of Mercy'. It's easier to make a good sound in a live setting, but if the tuner can make a sound that I'm happy with, then I can trust him for the recording. For the recording of "Oboro", they tuned it to the sound I had imagined from the beginning.

-I get the impression that you always do your recordings without getting bogged down, but this time?

Shinya: Just like that. We also recorded the coupling song "T.D.F.F." at that time, but we didn't get stuck. But I recorded it part by part, so it took a bit longer. If I'm happy with the intro, I'll go on to the A melody, and so on, starting from the beginning of the song. It takes a lot of concentration to record each part. Also, sometimes the song isn't written until the day before, so I haven't memorised the phrases yet (laughs). The structure of "Oboro" wasn't even ready until the day before we recorded it. So when I played it, I put the recording side by side and concentrated on each part.

-What did you think of the coupling track "T.D.F.F."?

Shinya: I didn't change much in terms of drum phrases, but I tried to give it a bit more energy. As a result, there are a little less detailed snare phrases than on the original version.

-When you do a self-remake, do you tend to go in with a different stance than the original?

Shinya: It depends on how it's arranged. If the whole arrangement is completely different, I'll consider it a controversial piece and work on it. But basically, I try not to change the original phrases. When SUGIZO joined X JAPAN, he said, "Classical phrases are all different depending on the performer, even if the phrases are not changed“ . That's why SUGIZO said he was playing the same phrases as HIDE. That's why I want to show that although the phrases are the same, they are actually different.

-It's all luck. Even though the phrases are the same, each note is different, and this progression is the growth.

Shinya: Yes. It's a bit embarrassing to call it growth, but I think it's different even though it's the same phrase. But there are things that only the ward of that time could do, but there are also things that only the ward of today can do.

-What mode are you in as a drummer in 2021?

Shinya: I don't really think about it, I just want to play a good drum.

-When I started thinking about the phrases in Mouse, it was also the time when the Band started performing and touring overseas, and the Band's drummers and musicians that I played with at festivals and other events were always saying, "The drums in DIR EN GREY are so circular and amazing. I wondered if Shinya had some kind of special meaning behind the way he phrased the songs“ .

Shinya: Even if I say I've gone back, the way I put it on is completely different from back then. I was thinking of doing something complicated back then, but now I'm thinking of making it as simple as possible. I'm saying that now, but I think it will change depending on what kind of new songs I'm going to play. I'm going to release "Oboro" as a single, but I don't think you can see the spirit of the album from this song alone, in fact I think the album will have a completely different feel. In addition to "Oboro", the other songs on the album will have more impact in the direction of things. I may have done something uncomplicated before the drums... (laughs).

-By the way, today was the first time you met your fans in Osaka, are you getting more excited about the show?

Shinya: Yes, I am. We're going to play to an audience on May 6th, but after that we don't know what will happen. So I'm going to do it with the mindset that it might be my last live. I'm looking forward to seeing how it will be expressed in the actual live performance.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.

#Dir en grey #Dir en grey Shinya #Dir en grey translation #fan translation #interview translation #Shinya #GiGS #Oboro #Dir en grey Oboro #magazine

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creativeashproductions · 4 years ago

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Magician Behind the Music // Owen Joyner

sagSummary: Being in a studio recording songs is an intimidating experience for anyone regardless of age. Wanting the best in the business for his soundtrack Kenny Ortega brings his cast to the best in the business. Heading the production is no ever than Y/N with a certain sparkle when it comes to the tall blonde.

Warning: Swearing, insecurity, oblivious!reader and fluff

Words: 2.1k

A/N: I know nothing about producing songs so I ended up winging it. About time I make a fic for Owen

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

The studio had the sound of music as a group of people walk down the hall of the building that housed world-renowned recording studio. The office chair was leaning back as a figure sat listening to the nearly finished album. Forest green Sanuk slip-on shoes on the feet of the individual the door opening wasn’t heard.

“Girls you wanna hear the finished product?” You questioned from your seat behind the large control panel. The four girls on the video chat excited responded enthusiastic band members.

Not needing anymore push the song replaced the one that had been playing as background noise. Sliding the volume up the music, you had both produced and featured played through the speakers. As the pre-chorus and the chorus came, you couldn’t help but start singing.

I find peace in every story you told

I think of you, I’ll never be alone

It’s true, true, true

You know I do, do, do

Oh, I need you more than words can say

Oh, you save me in ways that I can’t explain

Always been there for me, now I’ll do the same

Oh, I need you more than words can say

All five that poured themselves on the song couldn’t help but bop along with the catchy words and beat. By far, one of your most favourite songs you ever co-wrote, feature and produce. You and little Mix had been desiring to co-work on something for years now.

“That pre-chorus and chorus are the favourites of my career!” You excitedly announced glancing up the glass separating the booth from the control room. Your face found a handful of young adults and Kenny in the reflection.

“It’s gonna be a bop to sing!” Perrie agreed with her hair in messy space buns sitting at her computer desk in comfy clothes.

Jesy, Leigh-Anne and Jade wore similar loungewear in the safety of their homes after travelling out of LA back to England. An entire week spent solely on writing music and recording with a few sleepover nostalgic of the teen years.

“I gotta go. My next clients are here.” You told the excited British girl group before your cursor ended the video chat.

Pushing off with your toe on the floor, you faced the group seated taking in the awed expressions from the song. Part of you is annoyed at the blatant disregard of professionalism and the potential of the song being leaked.

“Charlie, Owen, Jeremy, and Madison this is my friend Y/N. She’s a musician, songwriter and a producer.” Kenny spoke, waving towards your seat position at the forefront of the control panel.

Your eyes gleamed brighter with the teal blue cable knit sweater paired with a pair of fitted blue jeans. The pros of being a producer in a recording studio meant the work attire was relaxed compared to desk jobs. It appeared this group was similar.

“Hello.” You spoke standing up to be closer to the group, “I believe you have a soundtrack needed? I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’d like to ask that the song you overheard not be spoken about again.”

“I’m Charlie.” The brunette with a white hat put on backwards immediately shook your hand. Even with the hat, you could tell his hair was a gorgeous brown that contrasted his pretty eyes hazel green eyes.

“Hi Charlie.” You smiled at the male before stepping around him to the other three people in the room. The only other girl in the room was most definitely the lead of whatever show Kenny was currently doing.

“You’re Madison.” You spoke, taking in her youthful appearance and the quiet wisdom flowing within her eyes, the colour of dark coffee grounds. Her hair was down in her natural texture, resting on the shoulders of her muted olive green shirt.

“Jeremy.” Came from the shorter boy with startling rich dark brown almost black hair and eyes you couldn’t discern between blue or green. His cheeks a permanent pink flush but an infectious grin, “How are you?”

“My collaborators for a song liked it, and I’m not going to explain what you’ll be doing in the booth.” You replied gesturing to the enclosed space with the microphone and a stand of instruments.

Brushing off any other details you finally came to the only nameless individual in the room with the only blonde head of hair.

“Owen.” The blonde spoke softly with his eyes nearly begging to leave your expression with the anxiety building. This was so new for Owen, and unlike anything, he had ever experienced before in his life.

“Take a seat.” You motioned towards the long couch against the wall opposite the recording booth. It was a plus that extended couch perfect for a short nap after a near all-nighter. Your studio was the only one with such a good sofa.

“I’ve worked with Kenny on his Descendants series with the cast along with strictly only musicians. I say this with respect with Kenny, but if you don’t respect me or my process, I won’t hesitate to end this. It’s in the contract.” You sternly told the young individuals, “That being said. Your voice is an instrument that needs to be cared for. You need to be careful with it.”

The vocal coach dove into a more detailed list of the items not to be ingested by actors. The same thing happened with every new client you met after the horror film of a massacre a few years previous. As they went over, you looked over the schedule.

The binder was thick with the different songs in the series with jot notes in the margins. Kenny sat in the other chair, looking at them.

“So, Jeremy is the only one with experience?” You questioned glancing up at your elder with a look of curiosity. Kenny nodded with a fond smile, “Okay so let’s get his vocals for the first song recorded. That way, the others have a first-hand look at how it happens.”

Jeremy was quick to rid himself of his jacket to slide into the booth with the headphones resting on only one ear. In two hours, you had guided Madison and Charlie through their parts of this session. Your mouth opened to invite Owen into the booth but his demeanour concerned you.

“Kenny, how about we take a break for lunch?” You subtly guided Kenny to look at Owen before he quickly agreed.

Charlie was practically skipping out of the recording studio with his hands nudging Jeremy on his way out. Madison, led by her father, left right after leaving Owen to just about exit the room.

“Hey Owen?” You spoke, bringing the tensed young man’s attention, “Can you give me a moment?”

His head of thick blonde hair hesitantly nodded as Kenny followed the other cast members out of the room. Gently nudging the door closed you guided him to sit on the couch with you stationed in the office chair.

“First time recording is a bitch of pressure. I completely understand because I’ve guided people and been guided in the booth.” You began leaning forward to meet his eyes, “I know as someone with anxiety it’s intimidating. Let me know. Whatever you tell me will stay between us.”

Owen was quiet, “I’ve done other projects. I’ve never had the opportunity to have a role as a drummer. I guess this is overwhelming.”

“How about you hop into the room, and we mess around with a song?” You questioned, “I can show you how I produce if you’d like.”

“I’d like that.” Owen’s lips curved just a fraction into a ghost of a smile with the tension in his shoulders melting.

For the next two hours, you spent time in the booth explaining the equipment’s role in the recording. After he gave a short lyric, you invited him to sit by the soundboard with you to walk him through it. All the while, you shared the pizza you had ordered for both of you.

“I started in the business as background vocals for a few bands before I delved into my own career as a musician. I believe I was about seventeen when I got to be part of people getting the songs ready for fans. I fell in love and find it more fun behind the soundboard.” You informed the blonde listening to a recent song you had finished.

“This is insanely cool. I think I’m ready to record my parts.” Owen admitted playing with his fingers. In response, you typed out a quick message to Kenny, bringing the other people back after a long break.

As much as you would have loved creating the soundtrack, it wasn’t possible with your other commitments. Leaving the work in Alana’s capable hands, you had been packing for your visit to the UK for performing the song with Little Mix. Owen, having the day off, had found himself in your apartment as he had for the last few weeks.

“Do you really have to go?” Owen whined, staring at with his head tilted back on the couch. Lips pursed in a pout and blue eyes shining sadly.

“As much as I would adore falling for that look, we both know I have to.” You admitted dropping packing to snuggle into his side, “What’s up with you lately?”

“What do you mean?” He questioned, rolling his head on the back of the couch you look at you. From the position, he couldn’t see your face, but that didn’t stop him from staring.

“It’s hard to describe, but you get flustered when certain songs come on. You’ve been ditching the cast to spend time with me.” You listed off, staring off into the distance, “You got Charlie to drive in the opposite direction of your work to pick me up.”

“What kind of songs?” Owen inquired with one arched eyebrow high. You shifted to stare up at the soft look in his pretty blue eyes.

“It was some duet from that tv series about the High School Musical films…” Your sentence trailed off as everything clicked, “You have feelings for me.”

“Thought it was blatantly obvious. I danced with you in the rain at midnight while I sang to you. I think that’s the most obvious action.” Owen chuckled brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as he took in the startled expression

Owen had walked you home after a late recording session with the cast talking each other’s ear off with different subjects. His hand had slid into yours as he tugged you into the ice cream shop on the way; a scoop each. His eyes glued to every move you made with passion behind every single word.

“-they came to me about a song. It’s a surprise for Kenny, I suppose.” Your one holding the ice cream cone nearly went flying with the motion you made. Your other clasped in Owen’s without even realizing it.

“So, it’s the last song you’ll be helping us on, right?” Owen asked halting to toss the napkin from his cone in the closest bin. You followed suit while intertwining your fingers back together.

“The girls want to do a short little radio tour to promote the single. It would be a month most likely to brainstorm new ideas for songs. We’ve all agreed to collaborate in the future.” You informed the nineteen-year-old. He was a year and a half younger than you.

“When-”

Your sudden squeal cut him off as the sky opened up to a sudden pouring of rain on the two of you. Had you not been so focused on the conversation you would have seen the cloudy sky and the light drizzle of rain.

“Whoa!” Owen laughed, tugging you into his arms in a complete act of spontaneity. His voice softly singing one of your favourite songs.

As he twirled you around in the rain, he serenaded you with Edwin McCain’s song ‘I’ll Be’ unapologetically sharing a piece of himself. It seemed the universe took pity on the male by allowing him to dance smoothly with his friend.

“This is my favourite song.” You giggled as he dipped you with one of your legs in the air. The joy in your features melting the actor’s heart.

“You’ve been playing it every day for the last week.” Owen beamed, leaning his forehead on yours as he trailed off the end of the song, “I’ve memorized every lyric in it.”

With rainwater dripping down your nose the words settled in your mind cementing something you had been only slightly aware of. Playing that song often meant one thing: you had deep feelings for someone.

The someone being Owen Joyner.

“I’m kind of stupid.” You snorted turning to wrap your arms around his neck, “I’ve got no doubts I fell in love with you in that dance.”

Owen’s grin preceded a toe-curling kiss that was the first of many that would happen.

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#owen joyner imagines #owen joyner x reader #owen patrick joyner #julie and the phantoms imagines #jatp fanfic #owen joyner #jatp #julie and the phantoms #caitsy and ash productions

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sixofpomegranates · 4 years ago

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Rain in California - Act 1 - California

🥀Mini Series “Rain in California” Act 1 - Part 1 - California🥀

✨My Main Masterlist✨ | 18+ | AO3 | Wattpad

🥀Soundtrack🥀 | ✨Aestethic Trailer✨ | 🥀Masterlist🥀 | Words: 9.4k

A/N: The music used in this story is not owned by me (obviously) & I used it in the same style that 'Rock of ages' and 'Mamma Mia' used songs. I gave them a different meaning and context. The meaning and context are NOT representing the one that the ORIGINAL ARTIST had.

TW: ANGST, mention of loss/death/addiction/sobriety/murder, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, depression, addiction, substance abuse, drugs, alcohol, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, stalking, death by overdose, mentions of OD, passive aggressiveness, arguing,

Songs in this Chapter: La di die – Nessa Berrett Going to Hell | My Medicine | Heaven Knows – The Pretty Reckless

“Spence?”

Spencer looked up from his book.

Oh, so now he was allowed to talk with them about the case.

Since the briefing they hadn’t talked to him about anything. Spencer had to beg them, to let him work on this case.

He had really felt left out and why?

Because the stalking victim was a famous Rockstar with addiction issues. Spencer was hurt about his team not wanting him to be on the case because of this. Yes, he had struggled with addiction in the past, but he had been clean for over ten years now.

Was this unfair treatment…this distrust in his sobriety, ever going to stop?

It wasn’t like they had cared much about it when Emily had faked her death or when Maeve died, but this, for them, looked like a too high risk? Because there was a pretty girl involved?

He tried his best not to sound passive aggressive when responding.

“Yeah, JJ?”, with success.

“I asked if everything´s okay.”

“Sure. Why should anything be wrong?”, the blonde shrugged a little, an apologetic look on her face.

“Well the case-“ “It´s just a stalking case. Nothing we haven’t already seen. I actually wonder why we even need to come. The stalker isn’t aggressive and hasn´t hurt anybody. Right now he´s just importunate. The police should be able to catch this unsub themselves.”, he had accidently let a little of his passive aggressiveness slip and Emily, who was sitting next to JJ, looked at him.

“The record label convinced the police to contact us. They seem worried about their artist.”

“From what I know…this girl can take care of herself.”, Luke snickered, earning himself a ‘Come on, really?’-look from Emily. “Sorry, but have you seen or listened to her music? She could probably beat Reid in a fist fight.”

“Just because she´s making rock music, doesn’t mean she´s tough. But we should talk a little about the case, Reid if you ever feel unco-“, he quickly interrupted her with a snappy tone.

“Why, because she´s an addict? I don’t care about that.”, Emily lifted her hands in a calming manner.

“Okay, jeez. Just the way you´re on edge, since the briefing, doesn’t look like you are okay.”, Spencer took a deep breath, trying to talk calmer this time, now almost pleading in tone.

“I-I know. But I´m clean since was twenty-six. I never touched anything again and I don’t feel the need to. I even regulate my alcohol intake, never drinking more than a beer, maybe two glasses of whiskey. Which means, that statistically all of you are at a higher risk, of becoming addicted, during this case, then I am. You guys need to trust me.”, the dark haired woman sighed and nodded.

“You´re right. I´m- We´re just worried. You´re our friend, Spencer.”, she handed him a file. “Just promise me you talk to one of us, if something changes.”

He nodded opening the file. A picture of [y/n] looked at him. Dark heavy make-up, dark clothing and jet black hair with colorful streaks.

His younger self would´ve been as attracted as terrified of her.

He flipped through the pages. [y/n] [y/l/n]. Twenty-six years old. Stalker since approximately two years. Nothing extremely outstanding for a stalking case…which was kinda outstanding. No letters, no calls, no pictures, no break in, no threats…sometimes she would get random, expensive present delivered to her mansion, but that was it. Given that she was famous, this presents did not even have to be from a stalker.

“Are we sure there´s even is a stalker?”, Spencer frowned at his own question, Emily shrugged as a response.

“According to the manager, Philip Schuyler, since the first time she played his concerns down, he gets these calls of a man asking for [y/n] and how she is doing. The label didn’t take it serious after he told them, but then the unsub stole the last finished album from [y/n]´s band ‘Shot Monarch’, before it could get released and distributed, also erasing every digitally existing copy. He then called the manager and send the owner of the record label a letter; typed on a computer, no fingerprints; stating that he wanted to be taken serious. Later [y/n] got the USB, containing all her songs, with a dozen white lilies, her favorite, back per mail with an apology letter; stating that she had done nothing wrong and didn’t need to worry, since he could never harm her or her carrier. That´s when the label pushed the police to contact us.”

“Because they are worried about the music…not the woman.”, JJ sighed, shaking her head.

“Well, that´s the industry. At least her manager is worried. Police states that he got himself a gun license after that and tries to be everywhere [y/n] is.”, Luke added.

“Something about that is off.”, Spencer whispered, rubbing his stubbles, before looking at JJ, Emily and Luke again. “There is nothing that indicates a stalker, but every time somebody doubts his existence, he does something noticeable. I know she is famous and that comes with the stigma of having crazed fans as stalkers, but most stalking in general is committed by someone known to the victim, such as an ex-partner or acquaintance. We should check that out.”, JJ nodded.

“It would also be smart if one of us stays by her site.”, Luke quickly raised his hand.

“I volunteer. I- Like- Really! If necessary I´ll sleep in the SUV.”, Emily raised an eyebrow.

“Can it be that you´re a fan? I heard you and Penelope freak out a little over the case earlier.”, a shy smirk appeared on his lips.

“‘Shot Monarch’ has really good music. Since my road trip a year ago, I love their stuff. Penelope actually tol-”, Spencer interrupted him determined.

“I´ll do it.”, Emily quickly shook her head.

“Reid, no.” “Why not?”, his voice got high, making him quickly cleared his throat. “Because-“ “Because she is taking drugs. Do you trust me that little, Emily?”, Spencer snapped at her and she leaned back into her seat. Sure the others from the team were older than him, but he was in his late thirties, and yet was treated like a child.

“Fine. If you think you can handle it, do it. But stop being so sassy, I hate that.”, Emily looked at look in defeat. “Luke tell him what you know about [y/n] and the band.”, he nodded pulling out his phone.

“Okay so, [y/n] is the lead singer of ‘Shot Monarch’. She´s from a small town in Ohio and came to LA when she was eighteen, to become a singer after going viral. They are a band since five years, the name never really got explained by them, but it has something to do with the butterfly; at least that’s a fan theory I now from Penelope. Plus it makes sense, because [y/n] has a tattoo of one on the back of her hand.”, Luke flipped through some pictures of older man, reminding Spencer of bikers and insurance agents at the same time. Like middle-aged fathers that liked rock but still had a nine-to-five job.

“Hank, the guitarist, was a lawyer before and in a cover band with his high school friends Tom, the bassist, who worked for an insurance company, and Leroy, the drummer, who was history teacher and is also married to Hank. They met [y/n] at an open mic night and even though she´s twenty-six and they are in their late forties, early fifties, they got along so well, that they became a band. That´s ‘Going to Hell’ by the way. One of the more controversial songs.”, Luke pressed play on the video and already moved the lips to the lyrics.

“Father did you miss me,

Been locked up a while.

I got caught for what I did but took it all in style.

Laid to rest all my confessions I gave way back when.

Now I'm versed in so much worse,

So I am back again, and he said

For the lives that I take, I'm going to hell!

For the love that I make, I'm going to hell!

Gettin' heavy with the devil, you can hear the wedding bells.”

“The guitar you´re hearing is a classic Hank. That guy knows what he´s doing.”, Luke added, seemingly in his element, reminding Spencer a lot of Garcia when she was excited.

Spencer nodded and watched the music video, the overall theme was dark and heavy. [y/n] voice was nice, a little smoky and strong, but everything just sounded so angry. Not really his style, although he preferred older, classical music in general over the ‘normal’ things ‘normal’ people liked. [y/n] wore tightfitting latex, while the men from her band mostly just wore black jeans and shirts, sometimes leather jackets. At one time, she was surrounded by snakes, only wearing white lingerie. She was really pretty, red lipstick making her look like a biting version of Snow White. Like a princess that would rather save herself, becoming the villain along the way, before letting someone else save her.

“Father did you miss me,

Don't ask me where I've been.

You know I know, yes, I've been told I redefine a sin.

I don't know what's driving me to put this in my head.

Maybe I wish I could die, maybe I am dead!

And he said

For the lives that I fake, I'm going to hell!

For the vows that I break, I'm going to hell!

For the ways that I hurt, when I'm hiking up my skirt.

I am sitting on a throne while they're buried in the dirt.

For the man that I hate, I'm going to hell!

Gettin' heavy with the devil, you can hear the wedding bells.”

The lyrics and symbolistic in the video mocked parts of the Christian belief system. Such as the bite Eve had taken from the apple, showing [y/n] taking a bite from the forbitten fruit. The last supper and the crucifixion were shown with a dark twist too. This could be a hint of rebellion, to cope with religious trauma, or simply be a way to cause controversy.

“Please forgive me father,

I didn't mean to bother you.

The devil's in me father.

He's inside of everything I do.

For the lives that I take, I'm going to hell!

For the laws that I break, I'm going to hell!

For the love that I hate, I'm going to hell!

For the lies that I make, I'm going to hell!

For the way I condescend and never lend a hand.

My arrogance is making this head buried in the sand.

For the souls I forsake, I'm going to hell!

Gettin' married to the devil, you can hear the wedding bells.”

As the video ended Luke took his phone and put it back into his pocket.

“Their earlier stuff had a little more emotion to it, was about heartbreak, suffering and made you feel. This is one of the more recent ones and you can hear that it´s now mostly just stuff like sex, drugs and anger. Most people think that´s because [y/n] writes all of their music and she´s…seen better days…”, Luke sighed, trying to make it sound as polite as possible.

“Because she started taking drugs?”, Spencer raised his eyebrows, but Luke shook his head. “Oh, no. She, according to many rumors and an interview with her father, has taken drugs since she was a teen. But at this point…she just simply seems to have given up, having chosen to not go deeper with her songs anymore. I mean, they still slap. They just don’t slap your heart anymore, you know?”

“Not so nice, when your father talks to the press about your addiction. Could her father be a suspect?”, JJ asked, making Luke shrug and shake his head at the same time.

“Most likely not. He said in that interview that he wishes her the best, but doesn’t want to speak to her again.”, Emily mouthed a silent ‘ouch’, the whole talk about the rockstars private life making Spencer think.

“Maybe that´s part why she´s taking drugs? Often people use them to cope with-“, Emily interrupted him, profiling [y/n] and her substance abuse, quickly.

“Reid. We´re not going there to fix her, just the stalking situation.”, he nodded, knowing that he had a savior complex, always trying to help and save everybody.

“Exes?”, Spencer asked and Luke shook his head.

“Just one is known, Dean Lennox, singer, now married with kids. He and [y/n] were together for two years and according to him it was toxic. Like, always fighting, jealousy, distrust, fear of being left but she still didn’t want him close at the same time, lying. After their last breakup, he told a gossip magazine, he just couldn’t watch her destroy herself anymore. She never commented on it.”, JJ looked at Spencer worried.

“She seems like a handful, are you sure you can handle her alone?”, he chuckled while nodding.

“I´ve been through worse. How hard can it be to watch a twenty-six year old? When she, like Luke said, really doesn’t want anyone close, I´ll just sit on her couch and let her do her thing.”

*****

After landing in Los Angeles and checking into their hotel, the team drove to police station. There already waited a massage for them with an address. It was from the manager, he wrote that he was terribly sorry, but they needed to come to the recording studio, since the band was on a tight schedule all morning. Luke had tried his best, but Spencer could see his excitement through his tough-guy-façade. He, JJ, Luke and Emily took one of the SUV´s and drove to the address.

The building they entered was large and with great security. Expensive, white marble flooring in the entire entrance hall. They showed their batches to the lady at the front desk and the security, she called somebody and soon a short, pudgy man, dressed in a designer suit walked out of the elevator and up to them. He smiled at them friendly and shook everyone’s hand.

“Ah, the agents. I am so glad that you´re here. Hi. Hello. I´m Philip Schuyler, the manager of ‘Shot Monarch’.”, Emily shook his hand and pointed at the team.

“Nice to meet you. I´m unit chief SSA Prentiss, those are SSA Jareau, Alvez and that´s Dr. Spencer Reid. He will take on the job as bodyguard for Miss [y/l/n].”, the man scratched his brown hair, avoiding the bald spot on top.

“Yes, uhm, please just call her [y/n]. She really dislikes being called Miss [y/l/n]. We also already have police and security around her house, so I don’t know how important a personal bodyguard is. I really want this case solved and it would be terrible if we would hinder your work.”, Spencer lifted a finger.

“Actually, it would be better if I´m able to stay close to [y/n]. Normal police and security could probably oversee minor details about the stalker, Mr. Schuyler.”, the man waved off.

“Please, Mr. Schuyler was my father. Philip is completely fine. Everybody calls me that.”, he started walking to the elevator and the agents followed him. “Right now the band´s having a little break. After that, we need to record one more song for the ‘live in the studio’-version of their new album, that just came out. Are you familiar with their music?”, they got into the elevator and Luke already nodded.

“Yeah. Really great. Big fan.”, Emily lifted her hand, silencing Luke.

“I´m sorry. If that´s a problem we can-“, Philip laughed, interrupting her.

“Oh, no, no. [y/n] will love that. She likes meeting fans and showing off her music.”

They got out of the elevator, walked through the little hallway and entered the large double door in front of them. There was the recording studio. A lot of technical things, Spencer didn’t know much of, and a large glass wall in front of it, showing another room.

The recording room was large, with a black leather couch and beanbags in it and nice, warm, wooden flooring. A drum set was placed on an vintage looking, red carpet and the overall lighting was warm and inviting as well. The door to the room was open and he could hear the three men, from the band, talking and laughing inside.

“Guys, can you come out for a bit?”, Philip asked them and they looked up, walking up to them. “Okay, uhm, guys, those are the agents from the FBI. You know? The once coming because of [y/n]´s stalker.”, the largest man, a head taller than Spencer, smiled through his long grey beard that contrasted his bald head.

“Nice to meet you then, I´m Hank. That my husband Leroy,”, they shook hands with the dark skinned, skinny man, who in contrast to his husband was cleanshaven, with short black hair and glasses, “and that´s our friend Tom.”, the chubby, white, blond waved at them friendly.

“Why would like to talk with each of you individually, later at the police station, if that is possible.”, Emily said before introducing her team again, also mentioning Spencer´s duty as bodyguard. Leroy grimaced his face.

“Uh, [y/n] will hate that. The girl does not like being babysat.” “I´m not going to babysit her.”, Spencer answered, making Leroy chuckle. “That´s not how she will see it though.”, Hank sighed and put a hand on Spencer´s shoulder.

“Our girl is going through a lot right now. So it would be nice of you, to not take everything she´s saying personally, okay?”

“Personally?”

Spencer raised his eyebrows. He desperately hoped [y/n] wouldn’t be a bitch the entire time, since he couldn’t promise to not give her a piece of his mind, if so.

“[y/n]´s a little belligerent…Easy to get triggered and then she blows up like a bomb.”, Tom said and JJ cocked her head. “Is the stalking getting at her?”, Leroy shook his head. “Not really. But her mother died a few months ago and since then…little rough patch. She´ll get better. We all hit rock bottom once.”

“Is she going to therapy?”, Emily asked straight forward, making Tom, the chubby one chuckle. “Not since she hit the last therapist a few years ago. We paid his medical expenses and he was nice enough to not sue her. But we are here to help her, once she´s ready to let us.” “Must be exhausting, for you.”, JJ said empathetic and all the men waved off.

“Because of the drugs? No, it´s not that bad. She´ll collect herself. I have seven kids. Four of them are going through puberty right now. Phil has a toddler and Leroy and Hank have three rescue dogs and a couple of snakes. We can handle her.”, Tom laughed and the rest of the men started too.

“And that little stalker…Imma just say, I´m gonna rip him a new one, should I ever get the chance of meeting him. Counts for all of us.”, Hank added with everyone nodding in agreement.

“[y/n]´s a really nice girl and she´s been through a lot. If you´re nice to her, chances are high she´ll warm up to you and you won´t have any problems.”, Tom said to Spencer making him nod.

“And if she doesn’t?”, the tall doctor didn’t get an answer and just witnessed the rockers share a look.

Nice girl. Drug issues not so bad. Be nice and maybe she´s nice to you. For Spencer all of that sounded like he would have to walk around on eggshells, while she would blast through walls like a wrecking ball. The manager, Philip, checked his watch and looked around.

“So, where´s [y/n]? One more song and we´re done. Would be great not to hold up the investigation for too long.”

“She went to the toilet thirty minutes ago. We just ate our sandwiches. She said she wasn’t hungry.”, Leroy answered and at the same moment [y/n] walked in.

Spencer looked at her and for a moment forgot how to breathe. Short, high waisted, leather skirt, low cut, tank top and biker boots, all black, rounded off with fishnet stockings. [y/n] looked like she had climbed out of a teenagers wet dream. The perfect, little goth-girlfriend. She stretched a little and Philip looked at her.

“Bonjour, Philly.”, she said with a sassy undertone, while walking up to him and leaning on his shoulder. He was the same high as her, which wasn’t really tall, about 5,4, if Spencer had to guess.

“Hey, where were you?”, the pudgy man asked her.

“Took a nap in my car.”, she booped his nose and gave him a sheepish little smile. Spencer knew she was high. In fact the whole room knew it.

“You drove here?”, Tom asked shocked and [y/n] grinned sarcastically.

“I guess so, else somebody explain to me why my car´s here.”, Phillip patted her shoulder, looking worried as she took four pills out of an orange pillbox from her bag. He gave her a glass of water and she swallowed them. The men from her band looked at her concerned, making her give them a pearly white smile.

“Headache.”, she explained and they only nodded. Spencer couldn’t help but think, that she wasn’t having a headache and even if she had, it was probably a withdrawal symptom.

“You know that I don’t want you to drive when you´re…”, her manager looked at the agents and stopped talking, making her look at them as well.

“What? Why´d you stop talking? That the fun police?”, she started giggling at her own joke, making the band chuckle, since she clearly didn’t know how accurate she was with her joke.

“That´s the FBI, Princess.”, Hank told her and she made a fake shocked face and then laughed again.

“Officer- No wait, agents, right? I swear I did nothing wrong. Weed´s legal in Cali.”

The team shared some looks and Spencer couldn’t help but roll his eyes. [y/n] was not just on weed. Most definitely not just on weed.

“They are here because of your stalker.”, Philip explained and she shrugged almost disappointed.

“Oh, that guy. Well, then hello. Nice to meet you. I´m [y/n].”

She shook hands with JJ and Emily as they introduced themselves. Luke couldn’t help but breathe in sharply, as he shook her hand and almost choked on his own spit as an aftereffect. She started patting his back with wide opened eyes.

“Shit, you okay? Asthma?”, [y/n] reached into her black, designer handbag and gave him a bottle with clear liquid. Luke took a sip, quickly grimaced his face and began coughing harder.

“Vodka.”, he stated through his coughing. [y/n] quickly took the bottle from him and took a sip too, without flinching. She then started cracking up at her mistake.

“Whoops. Mixed up the bottles, the other´s probably in my car. Philly, can you bring him…?”, Philip nodded and gave Luke a fresh water bottle from the mini fridge.

Wow. Vodka hidden in a water bottle. Spencer licked his lips, taking in the view of her bandmates looking at each other. ‘Not that bad’ looked different. ‘Not that bad’ would not have her sleeping in her car, midday, with a bottle of ‘water’ and coming back high as a kite. Luke, by now, had stopped coughing and [y/n] stepped away from him again.

“You good?”, she asked him, watching him wipe away his tears.

“Y-Yeah. Sorry.”, the black haired girl waved him off.

“Nah, don’t worry. I had asthma till I was twelve.”, he shook his head.

“I- I- No asthma. Just a really big fan.”, she started laughing again and although the light was dimmed, Reid could clearly see Luke´s cheeks turning red.

“Oh, that´s cute. But ‘Take My Breath Away’ is by Berlin.”, that sentence actually made the whole room laugh except for Spencer, who didn’t understand the reference. “What´s your name?”

“Luke Alvez.”, she shook his hand again, this time he didn’t almost choke.

“Well, nice to meet you, Luke. What´s your favorite song of ours?”

“25, no doubt. Really amazing. Like a James Bond song.”, the bandmates chuckled.

“We said that too.”, Leroy snickered, patting Luke´s shoulder and [y/n] nodded.

“It´s also my favorite. Excited to hear one of the new songs?”, Luke nodded excited and she turned her head to Spencer. “We both don’t know each other yet. Hi, I´m [y/n] and you are?”

She sounded quite collected. Clearly high, but able to think straight if necessary. [y/n] must´ve been doing this for a while now, seeming to have figured out, how much she could handle while working. Spencer had been at that point too once. You wanted to do your work and be good at it, but needed to be high, to make it through the day. So you just tried over a period of time, bit by bit, how much you were able to take before doing a shitty job. ‘Not that bad’ didn’t make you figuring out a system to be high all the time.

“Dr. Spencer Reid.”, he shook her hand.

“Dr. Reid will be your bodyguard, [y/n].”, Philip explained and quickly earned an angry look, as she let go of Spencer´s hand instantly.

“What? I don’t need a bodyguard, we talked about this.”, she hissed at her manager, but then started laughing after looking Spencer up and down. “And then that guy?”, Philip nodded as she rolled her eyes at him. ‘Do not take it personally’, Spencer told himself.

“I am more than capable of protecting you.”, he stated as friendly as possible, making her giggle.

“From what? A difficult math question?”

[y/n] mocking tone started to piss him off, but as Spencer felt Emily´s look on him, he played it cool. After all, he had to proof himself able to handle her.

“Your stalker.”, he corrected her and she licked her lips, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, looking at Luke.

“Since you don’t have asthma, would you mind if I…?”, Luke shook his head and she smiled. “Nice.”, she looked back at Spencer, at his gun. “Philip has a gun too.” “But Philip isn’t an FBI agent.”, Hank told her, making her shake her head in protest, like a little child.

“That´s ridiculous. And all of that just because a stranger sends me stuff, people send me stuff all the time.”

“You should be more worried about this guy.”, Leroy said and Tom nodded in agreement. “Yeah, what if he´s dangerous?”

“What´s the worst that could happen, like honestly, Doctor?”, she cocked her head at Spencer, looking up at him with an almost flirty smile.

“He could kill you.”, he gave back objectively, making the rockers obviously worried. “Geez. You make that sound like it´s a bad thing.”, she snickered and looked over to Luke. “Luke, wanna hear some music?”, he nodded.

“It would be an honor.”, his sentence made her giggle as she walked past him.

“You´re really cute.”

[y/n] walked into the recording room, Tom, Leroy and Hank following her. She put on her headphones and lit a cigarette, putting the package on the little table next to her mic. Philip closed the door and started pushing some buttons on the sound mixer in front of him. JJ whistled impressed.

“You do the technical stuff too?”, he nodded, chuckling.

“Since the stalking started, I try having as little people near [y/n] as possible. Thought it might just be a little crush from a weirdo and when he doesn’t get to see her, he gets over it.” “We need a list of the people that worked here though.”, Emily told him and he nodded.

“Of course.”, then he pushed a button and started talking into his microphone. “You guys, ready? Last song. ‘My Medicine’, then we can go home.”

They all approved of his words and started to playing. [y/n] relighting her cigarette and clearing her throat. Spencer couldn’t tell if that was her simply not caring or doing it for the feeling of the song. However, it seemed to fit the style.

“Somebody mixed my medicine

Somebody mixed my medicine”

“I love this already.”, Luke whispered and JJ chuckled.

“You haven’t even heard anything yet.”, she snickered.

“Doesn’t matter, the feeling is there.”, he lifted his arms, showing her his goosebumps.

“Well you hurt where you sleep and you sleep where you lie

Now you're in deep and now you're gonna cry

Got a woman to your left

And a boy to your right

You start to sweat so

Hold me tight 'cause

Somebody mixed my medicine

I don't know what I'm on

Somebody mixed my medicine

Now baby it’s all gone

Somebody mixed my medicine

And somebody's in my head again

And somebody mixed my medicine again, again”

Spencer watched [y/n] starting to move to the rhythm, swaying her hips and tapping her left foot to the beat, then looked to Philip pressing some buttons.

“She´s gonna be happy with that one.”, he whispered almost to himself and the next time Spencer looked at the band again, it almost felt like she was attentionally singing in his direction.

“Well I drink what you leak and I smoke what you sigh

See you cross the room with that look in your eye

Got a man to his left and a girl to his right

You start to sweat so

Hold me tight 'cause

Somebody mixed my medicine

I don't know what I'm on

Somebody mixed my medicine

Now baby it’s all gone

Somebody mixed my medicine

Somebody's in my head again

And somebody mixed my medicine again, again”

She started moving her head in a way that made her long black hair fall in her face, framing her features almost delicately. While Spencer starred and earned some grins from [y/n], he could hear Luke whisper with Emily, who actually seemed to like the music too.

“There's a tiger in the room and a baby in the closet”

The room laughed and Spencer looked confused, having JJ tell him, that it was a movie reference. Sometime he felt like an alien, having such simple references fly over his head. Star Trek or Book references would´ve been easier for him…although he still didn’t know what that ‘Twilight’ book was Penelope and JJ talked about a couple of times. Or that other book all the women had talked about in their break….what was it called, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’? They had told him it was a romance novel, so he just assumed it was like ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen.

“Pour another drink mom I don't even want it

Then I turn around and think I see someone that looks like you”

Philip pressed some buttons again, [y/n] now harmonizing with herself.

“Well you hurt where you sleep and you sleep where you lie

Now you're in deep and now you're gonna cry

Got a woman to your left

And a boy to your right

You start to sweat so

Hold me tight 'cause

Somebody mixed my medicine

I don't know what I'm on

Somebody mixed my medicine

Now baby it’s all gone

Somebody mixed my medicine

Somebody's in my head again again

And somebody mixed my medicine

Again, again, again

Again, again, again”

The music started to slow down again, just like [y/n] movements, making Luke whisper words in awe.

“Somebody mixed my medicine

Somebody mixed my medicine

Somebody mixed my medicine”

Philip and the team applauded as [y/n] took her headphones off and the men put their instruments away.

“I´m happy with that.”, she said looking at Philip. “You, Philly?”

“Sounded great to me.”, he gave back, happy to answer.

“What about my new favorite fan. Luke?”, Luke quickly pushed Spencer aside to get to the microphone.

“Loved every second of it! Like- Amazing! Really!”, she giggled, throwing her head back and came through the door.

“What about my new guard dog?”, Spencer pointed at himself, not knowing if she was talking about him. “Of course you. So, what do you think, Doctor?”

“I- I don’t really know.”, she raised her eyebrows at his answer.

“Okay? Was it the drugs or just the music in general?”, he felt himself go pale. “Ah, okay. You´re prude, get it. I mean you already have that whole tutor-thing about you, so…Bach or Chopin?”

“Pardon?” “Which one? Or is it Mozart, or the deaf bitch, Beethoven?”, she grinned snarky.

[y/n] had a mocking tone in her voice, making Spencer feel embarrassed and like he was in school again, when the other kids in high school were making fun of him for not being cool enough. But he was too old to be bullied by a little junkie, who thought she was better than him.

“I´m surprised somebody like you would even know them.”, her smile vanished.

“Little bitch.”, she snapped at him, stepping closer as he cocked his eyebrows at her. Philip quickly walked between the two of them and smiled.

“So, what are we doing next? The albums done. Taken care of. [y/n] have you eaten something today? You wanna go out for dinner?”

“No, I haven’t and no, I don’t want to, when THAT is around.”, with ‘that’ she clearly meant Spencer.

“Now don’t be grumpy, Princess. You started it.”, Hank told her and she started to pout, shoulders relaxing.

“Wasn’t worth my time anyways.”, she murmured and Spencer felt himself getting proud. This was the first person, trying to bully him, he had stand a chance against.

“So, we´re gonna need you at the police station, if that´s okay?”, Emily asked Leroy, Hank and Tom, who nodded. “And Spencer, you should take [y/n] home and check out her house.” “Mansion.”, [y/n] corrected Emily. “I have a mansion. Worked too hard to have it being called a house.”, Emily only nodded, not letting herself get bothered by her words. Philip nodded, completely ignoring his clients snappiness too.

“I follow you in my car.”, he told Spencer. “[y/n] give Dr. Reid your keys, please.”, she shook her head indignant.

“No. That guy is not driving my car. I´ll drive.”, the whole band now started saying no.

“[y/n], you´re not driving.”, Tom ordered and Leroy nodded. “You´ll get an DUI so quick, it´s not even funny.”, Spencer lifted his hand, waiting for the key. “Oh, come on.”, she groaned, looking at her bandmates like her childish behavior would change their mind.

A nice sound. An annoying person, not getting what they want. Almost as beautiful as her [y/e/c] eyes, that actually were rather bloodshot, when Spencer thought about it.

“Should the police pull you over and see that you´re high, they´ll look through your car and I don’t think you want be taking in custody for drug possession, right?”, she handed him her keys and Spencer couldn’t help it and whispered “Thank you”, in the most mocking tone he was able to.

“Fucking cunt.”, she whispered back at him and he just chuckled.

“I´ve been called worse. So your little words don’t hurt me…sorry.”, she then grinned.

“Things like Spencer?”, [y/n] asked him, spitting his name like poison.

Spencer took a deep breath and watched her go out the door, telling himself to not answer her.

“Hey, kid.”, Spencer looked at Hank and he just lifted his thumb.

“You held yourself better than we thought you would.”, Leroy added, Emily looking at Spencer concerned.

“You sure you can handle her?”

He nodded, walking out the door and to the elevator which doors [y/n] was holding open for him.

“Hurry up, bitch boy! I wanna go home.”

*****

Of course the rich, spoiled brat drove an imported sportscar. When Spencer got in, he firstly had to push back the seat, not having enough room for his legs and then tried getting [y/n] to tell him where she lived.

“Try google, smart ass.”, was her answer and he sighed.

[y/n] then rolled down her window and grabbed a joint from her glove compartment. Spencer quickly leaned over and snatched it from her hand, making her whine as she tried getting it back.

“You´re such a bitch. Give me-“, he interrupted her whining.

“No. First tell me you´re address.”, she sat back into her seat.

“Fine. I´ll lead you there.”, [y/n] said, making grabbing motions with her hand and he handed her the joint back. She lit it and smoked out of the window.

Spencer knew he should have questioned why she gave up and let him win so easily. After ten minutes they weren’t at her mansion, they were at a McDonald´s.

“You´re fucking kidding me, right?”, he snapped at her and she began to giggle.

“You´re kina hot when you´re angry.”, her flirty grin and the way she bit her lip made him furious, because it was hot.

“What is wrong with you?”, Spencer almost yelled and she leaned back and pointed somewhere. “I´m hungry. Drive-Through. Over there.”

“No.” “Come on. Don’t be a bitch, dog.”, she snickered, resting her feet on the dashboard.

He looked at her, for a second thinking about simply getting out of the car and leaving, before he could hurt her. Maybe she was really too much for him to handle, the drugs were manageable, but it was her personality that drove him mad, yet he wasn’t someone to give up easily. Cars started to honk behind them.

“You´re holding up the traffic. I just wanted something to eat.”, [y/n] said, now almost annoyed because she wasn’t getting what she wanted. Spencer took a deep breath.

“Okay.”, she looked at him confused.

“Okay?”, he nodded, pulling into the Drive-Through. He was above this. ‘Give her what she wants, so she´s at least quiet.’

“You win.”

She started clapping and hugged him, smelling like marijuana and something he couldn’t quite make out. When they came up to the microphone box, [y/n] crawled over Spencer´s lap, forcing him to look and think respectfully. She ordering a bunch of stuff and then looked at him.

“What do you want? I only have booze at home, so…”, he looked at her a little startled. Was she trying to be nice to him?

“You wanna buy me something?”, she nodded like this behavior was normal to her. “Sure.”

“Surprise me. I never eat fast food, I don’t know what´s good.”

She nodded and then told the voice from the box to double her order. Sitting back into her seat, [y/n] took out a hundred dollar bill from her purse, handing it to Spencer. When they pulled up by the window, taking their things, the woman in the window nearly lost it when she saw the rockstar, starting to cry. [y/n] was really nice to her and asked her if she wanted to take a photo in the parking lot. Of course the woman said yes and after paying, where [y/n] had left almost fifty bucks as a tip, Spencer had to park and wait till they had made the photo and given an autograph.

“Okay, now drive before it goes viral. I wanna eat that stuff before it gets cold.”, she told him, taking a sip of one of the milkshakes.

“That was nice.”, she shrugged and then told him her address, telling him she´d scream when they reached it.

*****

Lo and behold, no twenty minutes later they parked in front of [y/n] mansion, next to another, more run down car, belonging to Philip. The mansion would´ve made Rossi´s mansion cry. At least twice as big and the property was enormous. In contrast to [y/n], it was very light and minimalistic from the outside and the inside.

“Most rooms are empty. Too big.”, she explained walking straight into the open living area, that had a large terrace with pool and a view over the Hollywood hills. She put the paper bags filled with food on the large kitchen island and sat on a barstool.

“You could sell it and buy a smaller one.”, [y/n] shrugged and took out a burger, starting to eat it.

“Philip says I´m gonna grow into it.”, she answered, mocking the tone of voice her manager had probably had.

Spencer watched her type something on her phone and a minute later Philip came into the room.

“Hey, where were you? I got worried.”, he asked them and [y/n] handed him a salad.

“It´s the one you always have.”, he smiled at her.

“Thank you. You´re so nice.”, she shrugged at his words, not really caring.

“Yours is in here too, dog.”, she now told spencer.

Ah, yes. She was being bitchy again. Spencer had only waited for it to happen. He said nothing, but walked up to the white kitchen isle and took the bag she pointed at.

“Milkshake, burger, fries. Fast food essentials.”, she stated, finishing her small cheeseburger and getting up to her fridge, taking out a beer. She held it to Spencer who declined and then to Philip who did the same. “Lame asses.”, she chuckled, opening it and standing at the counter, watching Spencer eat. “So you´re here for…?”

“Technically it would be the easiest for all of us, if I just stayed.”, she raised her brows.

“Staying like, in my house staying?”, he nodded and she shook her head. “No chance. I enjoy my solitude.”

“[y/n]. If it´s easier for the agent and better for you…”, she sighed, opening a drawer and taking out some pills, swallowing them with her beer. “Fucking hell. But don´t expect me to be considerate of you.”, the rockstar told him.

“Should you consume them with alcohol?”, Spencer asked, taking a bite of his burger and she shrugged.

“I´m going to sleep…you guys…do what you want, I don’t care…”

“Do you need me to do your laundry?”, Philip asked and [y/n] shrugged again, it seemed to be her favorite motion. As she walked down the hallways and Phillip yelled after her. “Don’t forget that you have a gig tonight, [y/n]!”

“THAT`S WHY I`M GOING TO SLEEP NOW, DUMB ASS! WAKE ME UP WHEN WE NEED TO GO!”, she yelled back, followed by the smashing of a door.

“She´s a nice girl.”, Philip said in the middle of the silence, as Spencer took place on one of the barstools.

“Like a car crash.”, the man in his fifties chuckled.

“I know she´s difficult, but in here she´s good.”, he pointed at his heart. “She has suffered a lot of losses in her life.”

“Then, just as a random thought, you should get into therapy before she OD´s.”, Spencer answered sassy.

“I know what you mean. But as long as she doesn’t want help or overdoes it…she has a system.”, Spencer let his head fall back and groaned.

“You know about that fucking thing?” “You too?”, Philip asked back in surprise. “Profiler. Took me no longer than the nap in her car, to figure that out.”

Yes, a small lie from Spencer, but it sounded better then: Oh yes, I was addicted to dilaudid once. I had a system too!

“Tell me, how does that train wreck of a system work?”, Philip leaned back from his salad.

“Well, she takes her painkillers in the morning and smokes some cannabis to get out of bed. When we´re touring or she has to be at shootings, interviews or anything else that needs her to focus, she only smokes and takes the pills all day, alcohol in water bottles is a new one though.”, Spencer sighed and thought if he even wanted to know more.

“And when she´s alone or not busy?” “Then she does the harder stuff.” “Harder stuff like cocaine, LSD…?”, Philip nodded. “Nothing with needles though…she´s scared of them.”

“She will not always be, if she continues like that.” “I know. That´s why I do my best to keep her busy. She even has her own recording studio here, knows how to handle everything herself. I thought it might make her spend more time making music than getting high. I also go out with her a lot, to a point where my wife starts to get jealous.”, he laughed bittersweetly. “Have you ever been to Disney World, agent?”, Spencer shook his head. “I take [y/n] there once a week, because she likes it there. I spend more time with her there then with my own daughter.”, [y/n] was famous, no chance people wouldn’t notice her.

“Does she even get to do anything there?”

“Not often. She mostly meets her fans there, but she loves that a lot. She is really sweet to them too, they mean everything to her.”

That was the first time Philip had said something that was true about [y/n]. She had, not once been mean to a fan. The complete opposite actually. She had been nice and thoughtful, going out of her way to make the woman at the Drive-Through happy and was nice to Luke.

“I know she was a little mean to you today, but she also bought us food, seeing it as a matter of course. There are two sides to every person, like a coin.”, Like a coin, just that [y/n] sides flipped as quickly like one too. Philip sighed and got up from his barstool. “I´ll show you around a little, if you want to.”

Spencer nodded, getting up, following the short man around the house.

*****

[y/n] had been right.

It was way too big and many of the rooms were empty. When Spencer asked Philip about the necessity of such a big mansion, he told him, that he had hoped to motivate [y/n] to have a family one day. But now the only rooms in use were her bedroom, one of the five guest bedrooms, which Spencer got to stay in, the open living area with kitchen and living room, the recording studio and a little library. The latter made Spencer a little jealous. In the middle of the room even stood a white piano with notes on it. [y/n] also had a lot of books, all dusty, because she never read anymore. He would´ve killed to have his own library…she probably didn’t even value what she had.

When they returned into the living area, Philip gave Spencer some spare keys, beginning to clean up a little and putting the food in the fridge. [y/n] didn’t lie, when she said, she only had alcohol at home. JJ came over and brought Spencer his go bag, asking him how it was going. Of course he said he was doing great, but couldn’t help but rant to her about [y/n]´s behavior.

“Well, she is an addict, Spence. You know how erratic some drugs can make you.”, he nodded.

“Yeah, but she really tries pushing me and then, one second to the other, she´s nice and polite. Have you talked to her bandmates?”, JJ laughed.

“Way too long. We had interviews with them and then Luke just couldn’t stop talking to them, he has also taken about a million pictures with them and facetimed Penelope so she could meet them too.”, Spencer chuckled.

“Sounds like they had a good time. Anything else happened? Found out something?”

“[y/n]´s mother was an addict and left the family when she was younger. When she found out her daughter was famous, she got back in touch with her, to borrow money. [y/n] didn’t care and even got her to live with her, in one of the guest bedrooms. She overdosed a few months ago, since then [y/n]´s addiction got worse.”, Spencer´s eyes got wide.

“She didn’t die in the guest bedroom though, right?”

Just as JJ wanted to answer, [y/n] walked in. Philip walking behind her with a duffle bag.

“She died in the bathroom and she didn’t overdose perse, she drowned after falling unconscious in the bathtub, while being high.”, she answered cold, seeming to have overheard their conversation. [y/n] grabbed a beer from the fridge and continued calmly while taking some colorful pills. “I found her. The bathroom that it happened in is always locked. Don´t worry.”, Philip fidgeted a little with his hands, looking for his keys.

“Uh-Uhm. Agents? We need to go. The concert…”

“You coming too?”, [y/n] asked, looking at JJ and she shrugged. “We could also invite the cute one…Luke. It´s about 20.000 people so two more won´t hurt…right Philly?”, Phillip nodded.

“You´re all invited. SSA Prentiss as well.”, he said and JJ smiled at them.

“Thank you. That´s very nice, but I´ll have to talk to them first.”, [y/n] shrugged at that and drank her beer.

“You have my number, just call when you know. We start half past eight.”, Philip then took the empty beer bottle from [y/n] and threw it away. “Show time.”

*****

Half an hour into the concert Luke had shown up, completely hyped.

“What did I miss? We had some ex-staff members to talk to. Did they already play ‘Going to Hell’?”, Spencer nodded. “Argh, dammit. Doesn’t matter, that song´s amazing too.”

During the whole concert Spencer watched [y/n]. The music wasn’t that bad, a little harsh, but it was mix of hard and alternative rock after all. At least that´s what Penelope said, when Luke started facetiming her. After the last costume change, Spencer pulled [y/n] aside. He asked her to not be so ‘touchy’ with her fans. Since she would kneel down and hold their hands. He tried telling her about the risks of having the unsub in the audience, but she only laughed.

“I´ll be as touchy as I want, bitch.”, he started to frown.

“At least don’t stagedive. Luke says you always do that and the risk of the unsub use-“, she interrupted him, wanting to go on stage.

“Fuck off, dog.”, he held her arm, trying to reason with her.

“Can you ple-“, she tried pulling away, like an angry child.

“No.” “Stop being so fuck-“, [y/n] interrupted him again.

“Stop trying to fucking babysit me.”

“I just want to hel-“, she ripped her arm away. “Yeah, fuck you too.”, the rockstar answered, not letting him finish and walked back on stage.

Philip walked up to Spencer, having seem the ordeal of him trying to talk to [y/n] and him now driving the heel of his palm into his eyes. This girl gave him migraines.

“What happened?”, Philip asked and Luke answered for Spencer.

“He told her not to stagedive.”, Philip laughed a little and shook his head.

“Oh yeah. Never tell her what to do. She hates that and then does it out of spite.”

“You don’t say?”, Spencer answered sarcastically.

On stage [y/n] took her microphone, saying something to her bandmates and then smiling sweetly, while talking to her fans.

“This next song is for my lovely new babysitter, who thinks he can tell me what to do.”, the crowd started booing and she laughed. “I know, I know. But it looks like he doesn’t know how things work around here…So I think we have to help him out a little.”

The music started to play and Luke patted Spencer´s arm.

“She dedicates ‘Heaven Knows’ to you! Penny have you heard? She sings ‘Heaven Knows’ for Reid!”

“NO! SHUT UP!”, the blonde on the phone squeaked.

He and Garcia started to freak out while Spencer watched [y/n] clapping her thigh and stomping to the beat.

“Jimmy's in the back with a pocket of high

If you listen close, you can hear him cry

Oh Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below

Sing it!”

She lifted the mic to her audience she started to sing for her.

Oh Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below, way down below, way down below

“Judy's in the front seat picking up trash

Livin' on the dole, gotta make that cash

Won't be pretty, won't be sweet

She's just sittin' here on her feet singin'

Oh, Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below

Go!”

Again her fans obeyed her, Luke and Penelope freaking out next to Spencer. If it wouldn’t have been a moment, were he had to fear which move she had planned next to unnerve him, he might have even enjoyed this song and the involvement of her fans in it.

Oh Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below

“Sing, oh Lord, tell us so, we belong way down below”

She now looked at him for a moment, while her audience sang. Before, again, walking around the stage, touching her fans hands.

Oh Lord, tell us so, we belong way down below

Way down below, way down below, way down below, way down below

“I've had better days, man, I've seen better days

I've had better ways, man, I know better ways

One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door

Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie

Show your life with your head held high

Now you're on your knees with a head on low

Big man tells you where to go

Tell them it's good, tell 'em ok

Don't do a goddamn thing they say”

Spencer was surprised how well her fans knew her lyrics. She would just have to point at them or lift her mic and they would instantly sing were she stopped. Not missing a beat.

Oh Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below

Oh Lord, tell us so, we belong way down below

Way down below, way down below, way down below, way down below

“I've seen better ways, and I know better ways

I've seen better days, man, I've got better days”

[y/n] now stood at the edge of the stage, back turned to her audience. She smiled directly at Spencer, fingers held like a gun to her head.

“Gina's in the back with a pocket of high

If you listen close you can hear the cryin'”

At the last word she mimicked shooting herself and let herself fall back into the crowd. Her fans got wild and continued her song, while Spencer certainly not in a long time, if ever, felt so much spite and frustration against a woman, other than Cat Adams.

Oh Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below

Oh Lord, tell us so, we belong way down below

Singin' oh, Lord, heaven knows, we belong way down below

Oh, Lord, tell us so, we belong way down below

The crown placed [y/n] back on her stage, where she walked up to her bandmates again, waving at Spencer and Luke with the sweetest smile.

Way down below, way down below, way down below, way down below, way down below

*****

After the concert and the encores she and the band got behind stage, where Spencer for the least thirty minutes had waited to give her a piece of his mind. As [y/n] giggled and walked up to him and Luke. He grabbed her arm, a little harsher than planned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, she blinked at his yelling, answering with her innocent eyes blinking and a mocking tone.

“What´s the prob, dog?”

“What´s- Do you really care so little for your own safety?”, Hank came up to them, having seen Spencer´s grip on the girls arm.

“Hey! What´s going on here? [y/n], are you okay?”, Spencer quickly let go of her.

“Yeah, the dog is just pissing himself because I stage dived.”, he quickly took a deep breath.

“I´m not pissing myself, [y/n], but I told you not to do it. What would you have done when your stalker would´ve been in the crowd and lost it? Nobody would´ve been able to get to you fast enough and help!”, Hank looked at her in disappointed shock.

“Is that true, [y/n]?”, the black haired girl ignored her friend and just continued arguing with Spencer.

“Well, maybe I don’t want anybody’s help!”, she hissed at Spencer.

“Then why are we even here?”, Spencer hissed back. “BECAUSE I BRING MONEY! Else the label would let me rot in a fucking corner! GOD! You are ruining my after-show-high. I hate you!”, [y/n] yelled and Spencer tried not to yell back, tried to be the bigger person, only hissing back at her.

“Oh, trust me. That feeling is mutual.”, she swallowed hard and then turned around, stomping away.

*****

After half an hour waiting, Spencer got a call from Philip, telling him that [y/n] refused to see him again and would be sleeping at his house tonight. He told him, that he should just let himself into the mansion and eat what´s in the fridge. It wasn’t from use, to try talking to [y/n], when she was that angry. Tomorrow Philip would call him and bring her back into Spencer´s care.

Spencer did as told, Luke driving him to the mansion, telling him that it wasn’t his fault. He then got into the large, empty mansion and grabbed himself a well-deserved beer. Being alone in this big house was depressing. After his third beer he stopped, walking into his room.

He pulled his blue and gold sobriety token, he had gotten for being clean ten years, out of his bag. Thumb rubbing over the golden X in the middle of it. He actually had deserved a twelve year token by now, but since prison didn’t actively attended the meetings anymore, having grown past it. Yet, he still kept the tokens he had, close to him.

They reminded him of his achievement, reminded him to be proud at himself.

Spencer never wanted to fall back into the dark hole he was in, when he was addicted, and even when [y/n] would throw tantrum after childish tantrum, she wouldn’t cause him to relapse. He was stronger than this. Stronger than her.

To be continued...

Give me your feedback [also anonymous!]

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed)

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #post prison spencer #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid angst #angst #reid x you #spencer x y/n #criminal minds x y/n #spencer reid reader insert #spencer x reader #reader insert #spencer reid x you #rainincaliforniaff

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luvlyrv · 3 years ago

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Our Songs | Extra | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: So happy to say this series is completely finished now!! Enjoy!! I'm moving onto more projects and hopefully can wrap up some one shots I've been working on. This is a different style from what I usually do since it is an extra, warning that the post looks really long because it's in bulleted style lol

Date: 9/1/21

Series Masterlist

after your confession with wendy you were stuck with an enormous burst of energy

you were on cloud nine, a seemingly never-ending high

you decided not to text wendy the day right after

you didn't want her to think you regretted anything but you also didn't want to seem too clingy

also it didn't help that just thinking about her was enough to throw you into cardiac arrest

you didn't receive any notifications from wendy either

it was a bit disappointing, but you assumed she was also trying to take in the shock of it all

trying to take your mind off of wendy you spend an entire day running around your house

you pick up your instruments and have the jam of your life

emotional highs are very good for your creativity it seems

you decide to record some things and save some drafts

who knows if it'll be useful in the future?

you worked till you felt dead tired and like you couldn't have another thought in your brain

even after you spent an entire day trying to exert your nervous and elated energy you were still hesitating on texting wendy when you woke up

but you missed her so much already

so you send a text asking her how she feels

she says she feels okay, and then asks about you

'yeah, i'm okay too'

your conversation was rocky

things weren't going as smooth as before

and it was evident that it was because the both of you had no idea how to behave

you took a deep breath before texting her your question

'so, can i take you on that first date?'

you see a bubble showing that she was texting

and then it disappeared

before showing up again

and disappearing

and- ugh! your heart was racing waiting for her answer

i mean, she liked you back right? so why would she say no?

'yeah, of course! :)'

whew, okay, looked like you almost made a big deal out of nothing

little did you know wendy was freaking out

she was a bit embarrassed at herself, acting as if she was a high school kid in love or something

it took wayyy too much concentration for her to type out something sensible

but she was excited for you to finally ask

you were also excited for her to say yes

your first date is at the downtown center

there was a festival and you were hoping to enjoy all the effort the artisans put into their work with wendy

you're walking with her through the numerous stalls set up

as the both of you admire the beautiful crafts set on display your hand reaches for hers

you feel the pressure of her hand squeezing back and you look at her

she looks at you and giggles

you didn't even realize what you were doing

'oh, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do that suddenly.' you freak out and let go of her hand

you're worried that she was laughing at you and that she didn't want to hold hands

'it's okay! i thought it was cute'

she reaches out for you and you don't let go this time

instead you enjoy how happy she seems to be sharing this moment with you

and out in public too

later on you both go to the square where there were musicians

the sun was beginning to set, allowing for beautiful lighting and you appreciated songs you've never listened to before

wendy tugs at your arm while still staring at the performers

'i hope we can perform up there someday. together.'

you smile at her as she still looks on

'i think we will.' you assure her

finally night hits and you both call it a day

you walk her to her car and stop her

you kiss her forehead

'so, will there be a second?' you ask with a smile

you feel like you already know the answer

'i think that sounds great.'

life with wendy in it became easy

you guys seldom fought

and even when you did at least one of you would make something for the other

dropping it off at the doorstep and leaving an apology note

and after enough time of cooling down you would always come back to each other, talking out your problems from before

you personally felt like your work improved as well

wendy had become your muse

you sought to create tracks that would impress her

or that would be worthy of having her voice in it

and you felt like it was easier to write lyrics

because every experience with wendy created new feelings

feelings that you could hardly describe sometimes

when you guys decided to finally start working on your second collaboration you busted out the drafts you created long ago

wendy was impressed after sitting down and listening to your drafts

'woah, how many hidden gems do you have on your computer?'

'well, these ones in particular i made on the same day. the day after i confessed to you.'

you're both flustered

because it's easy to tell the kind of state you were in by the songs

wendy takes your hand and kisses it gently as your music continued to play

'you must think of me pretty highly, if the thought of me compelled you to make something so incredible'

you heat up at her cheesiness

'oh stop it.'

the two of you end up choosing a refreshing feeling/sound for the album

'cause you recharge me every time i see you!' she says

when you guys are almost done producing the album, that was when you went on the dinner date with wendy

the one where you guys would finally confess to the world

after recording and uploading the announcement video the both of you decided to turn off your notifications and avoid reading people's reactions

instead you guys opted to spend the rest of the day baking and then watching a movie together

the both of you decided that it would be stressful to engage with your audience right away, and that's why it took a full day for you both to check your phones again

both seulgi and yeri already knew about your relationship but they both flooded you guys with congratulations anyways

they just wanted you to know they were proud of your bravery!

besides them, both of your families already knew and didn't comment much

they'd already stated how they think you're good for each other when you guys had visited together

especially your younger cousin

cause apparently she's a big fan of wendy and is definitely not using you as a way to get close to her idol

and is definitely not bragging about her how cousin is 'super super cool and famous and is dating another famous person and i think they'll be rich someday!!! so get on my nice side!'

you're happy to see that a lot of fans are happy for your relationship

wendy just keeps telling you 'of course they are, who wouldn't for a cute ass couple like us?'

it was at that point that you guys had decided to save up and move into a nice place together

you guys had talked about future plans before

not only that, but you had been practically living together already

between all the dates that lead to seemingly indefinite sleepovers

and the recent collaboration that made you guys be stuck together

it was really you guys living at each other's place weeks at a time

when you guys move in you're grateful

because you get to experience all the little things from her even more

some nights when you're stressed she rubs circles on your back to help you sleep

when you guys shower together she takes her time to carefully wash your hair

it was those deeply intimate moments that made you the happiest

both of your careers were doing really well due to the reception of your second collab and all the media fuss that happened with your dating annoucement

you both still have solo careers and interact with other musicians

but along with moving in, you guys decided to become a duo and consistently create music together

in the morning when you share breakfast you always remind her how good life is and how thankful you are

#wendy x reader #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #rv imagines #rv x reader #rv scenarios #gg x reader #kpop imagines #kpop writing #kpop au #son seungwan #girl group scenarios #girl group imaines

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magics-protector · 4 years ago

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Mountain Sound

Soulmate AU: Soulmates have one song that connects them - when one soulmate listens to it, they both can see each other.

The Song: Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men

(which I think fits Merlin absolutely perfectly)

Spotify, Apple Music, Youtube

A small kind of crack fic from my Everlast series - which will start up sometime this week because it’s Reading Week and I finally have time to write it!

With a soft sigh leaving her lips, Y/N fell into her chair, dropping the books she carried down onto the table. A long start to an already long day, if you asked her.

First, she had to help Jack get his hand out of a cookie jar (because apparently her adopted little brother couldn’t just ‘magic’ his way out of it). Then, her Uncle asked her to “help” with work on Baby’s engine - and by “help” she meant that he made her stand there while she held all his tools and wasn’t allowed to touch the engine itself.

Not that she could complain. It was nice having everyone home for once - not that it was going to last long. Hence the reason for all the books. A new day would bring new cases and as always, Y/N was responsible for research - being her father’s daughter had it’s disadvantages in that way.

Speaking of her dad, he sat across from her, eyes trained on the laptop in front of him as he searched and typed, falling into the same pattern quite easily. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Y/N opened the first book on her pile and began to research - so it seemed Dragons were the big enemy of the day.

As she read, Y/N started to notice writing she hadn’t seen in over a year. Language she hadn’t seen since she disappeared. It was the old language of the Druid People. Something she had learned to read over the years.

As she read on, Y/N noticed the old phrasing of the common Soulmate connection: “Songs and stories of different melodies and tunes. That is what shall lead thy heart to its destiny”.

“Huh, well that kind of sucks.” She said, meaning to think it but it just came out.

Sam pulled his head out of his computer and looked up. “What sucks?”

Y/N looked up from the book, motioning to the page. “The language in this book. It talks about the soulmate connection. You’d expect it to rhyme, but it doesn’t.”

A laugh like breath came from Sam as he shook his head. “Not all old texts have to rhyme, you know?”

Y/N scoffed with a smile. “I know that. I just think it would have been funnier and more romantic if it did.”

Then Y/N’s smile faded. “Hey, Dad?”

He hummed in acknowledgement as he looked down at his laptop again.

“What was your song? You know, your song with Mom?”

Y/N could see Sam tense at the question. Y/N had known for so long that her parents were in fact soulmates, but Sam never talked about her. The memory of Will was almost to painful for him to remember. Not the relationship itself, but what happened to her.

He shifted in his seat, looking down as he nodded before he stood up, moving around the table to sit next to Y/N, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “It was Rebel Rebel. That was our song.”

Y/N turned her head, her face shocked. “Your song with Mom was Rebel Rebel? Dad, I did not take you as a David Bowie fan.”

Sam chuckled, moving closer to the edge of the chair and placed Y/N’s head on his shoulder. “He grew on me, only because of your mother. She loved to listen to his stuff. Rebel Rebel may have been our song but I can still remember her screaming the words to Space Oddity like there was no tomorrow.” He moved his head to look down at her, placing a small kiss on her head. “You remind me of her. Everyday I can see her in everything that you do and I know how proud she’d been if she could see you.”

Y/N smiled sadly. “Have you ever tried to see her again? Maybe if you listened to the song again you’d see her..”

“It doesn’t work like that, Bug.” Sam chuckled sadly. “Your mother has been gone for a while. I don’t think it’s possible to see her again until I get to her myself.”

Y/N could sense that the conversation was getting to him, so she stopped. She would have much gathered leaned in and enjoyed the moment, which is what she did.

“Woah, didn’t realize we were interrupting a moment.”

Sam and Y/N looked over to the archway of the library where Dean walked in, followed by Cas and Jack.

“Where the hell have you been, Dean?” Sam shook his head. “I called you like an hour ago to help with research.”

Dean scoffed, taking Sam’s old seat. “Yeah, well, I had to pick these two up from the Gas Station.” He pointed at Cas and Jack with his thumb. “And what’s this about research? You two obviously aren’t doing any - OW!”

Cas whacked Dean across the back of his head. “Don’t be rude, Dean.”

Dean didn’t argue, he couldn’t argue with Cas, so he just grumbled.

Y/N giggled as she watched her Uncles interact - it was honestly so surprising how long it took for the both of them - well mainly Dean - to come to terms with their connection.

“Hey, Dee?”

Dean looked at Y/N with a hum.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your song?”

Dean sat up, leaning back in his chair while Cas took a seat next to him. Cas had a smile on his face while Dean gave off a rare cross between a smirk and a smile. “Well, that’s easy. It’s --”

“You Shook Me All Night Long.” Both Dean and Cas said at the same time, which made the both of them smile at each other.

Y/N nodded her head, almost as if in agreement. “How did I know?” She giggled.

Jack smiled too - he hadn’t found his song yet, but he was waiting, knowing he’d find it one day. He looked over at his ‘sister’ with a curious face. “Why do you ask, Y/N? You’ve never been interested in Soulmate songs before.”

Y/N felt all eyes on her. She thought for a moment, before she answered. “Well.... I kind of want to find my song.....”

Dean looked at his niece with that bothersome uncle look. “I thought you had no interest in finding them.”

Y/n looked down at her hands, rubbing them together. “But I did. At least, I’m 99% sure I found him.”

Everyone’s faces erupting with smiles and cheers - Sam gripped her tight in a side hug. “That’s amazing, Y/N!”

“What’s the kid’s name?”

“Where’s he from?”

“What’s your song?”

Y/N put her hands up to stop them.”Woah! Woah! I never said I found my song. I just said I think I found him.”

Cue the confusion. “But,” Jack tilted his head. “if you haven’t found your song, then how do you know?”

Y/N took a breath before she stood up, walking towards a pillar of the archway and leaned against it. “I just feel it.” She laughed with a smile. “When I was with him, it was like.. nothing else mattered....” She shook her head. “What we went through was a lot for two people to handle, but with Merls, it was like.... it was like we could take on the whole world and no matter what the outcome was, as long as I had him, I won.” She seemed so lost in the memory, so lost that when she came back she went pink with embarrassment and she held her arms. “If that makes any sense....”

Sam, Dean and Cas looked at each other with knowing looks. “Well then,” Dean said. “Looks like we have a song to find. After all,” Y/N looked at her uncle in confusion. “We don’t want to leave him waiting.”

*******************************************************************************

“Ugh, this is hopeless!”

Hours and hours of music and nothing. They tried it all - Bon Jovi, Hozier, My Chemical Romance, Lana Del Rey and countless other bands and still nothing.

The team sat there for hours, playing music from Dean’s collection, random bands they found on YouTube, but nothing was working.

Y/N slumped in her chair, defeated. She ran her hands over her face before she stopped and sat up quickly. “Wait!” She looked at her dad. “Dad, you said you weren’t very fond of Bowie but Rebel Rebel was your song with Mom. How did you find it?”

Sam sat for a moment, his hand over his mouth as he thought, before his eyes went wide. “There was something that connected it to me. I would see the record or hear it faintly on the radio and that’s basically how I found it.” He leaned forward to pull his laptop towards him. “Is there any song that just stands out to you, Y/N? One that you can think of without hesitating? Like you’d see the album and feel a pull?”

Y/N thought for a moment when her eyes went wide. She raised her head slightly and mumbled under her breath.

“What?”

She looked up at her family. “Mountain Sound. It’s a song by Of Monsters and Men. I’ve never really thought about it til now, but there’s something about it.”

Sam quickly typed it into his search engine and pulled it up, handing it and the headphones over to Y/N.

With shaky hands, Y/N put the headphones on and started the song and it was like the world had stopped. Swirls of gold filled the void in the archway capturing her gaze and she smiled. Those golden swirls soon started to form the shape of a man sitting with a book on his lap. That man, Y/N knew him better than anyone did. Tears pooled in her eyes as her smile grew wider. “I knew it.”

Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack all smiled. They did it.

As the swirls finished forming the boy, Y/N moved to the floor, carrying the laptop down with her as she moved closer to his form. The boy seemed to enticed by his book until he looked up and over her way. He looked around hearing the music himself and then he looked at Y/N and a smile broke out on his face, tears in his eyes.

“Y/N?” His voice was eery, but that was normal for this kind of thing.

Forgetting she was in the presence of her family, Y/N laughed, tears streaming down her face. “Hey, Merlin.”

The young Warlock smiled, lunging forward to touch her, and through the power of their song, he hugged her for the first time in over a year. “I never thought I’d see you again, My Love....” He lamented.

Y/N held him close. “Takes a lot more than a glassy portal to keep me away from you, you Cabbage head.”

Merlin pulled back, but made sure to keep a hand on her shoulders. “Where are you? We looked everywhere for you. I thought Arthur was going to take off my head if you weren’t found.”

Y/N looked up at her soulmate and smiled. “How badly did you irritate him this time?”

With a look of pride, Merlin answered. “I going to be honest, I nearly had the Knights turn on him.”

“Pft, hahaha! Merlin! You can’t just lead a coup against Arthur! That’s my job!”

Merlin laughed, he laughed so hard that he leaned forward and turned, resting his head on Y/N’s legs. “Honestly, to be fair, it wasn't his fault. All those Lords had been quite vocal about their disapproval over your rescue mission. I thought Gwaine was gonna tear off someone’s ear.”

Y/N giggled, playing with Merlin’s blackish brown locks which had grown out since the last time she saw him while her other hand ran over his cheek, where a small stubble had grown as well. “I wouldn’t put it past him to do that.”

“No. But I think the others would have let him if Arthur hadn’t been in the room.”

Y/N looked down into his eyes and smiled. “It’s just nice to know I’ll have a huge welcoming when I get back.”

Meanwhile, as Y/N and Merlin continued to ramble and talk away as the song repeated and repeated over and over again, Sam and the rest of Team Free Will decided to leave Y/N alone with her soulmate and as they left through the back door, Sam watched as Y/N smiled the brightest smile he’s ever seen. Silently, he vowed that he’d make sure Y/N got back to wherever she had disappeared to.

#BBC merlin #bbc merlin imagines #soulmate #soulmateau #soulmate au #spn #supernatural #supernatural x reader #bbc merlin x reader #merlin #merlin x reader #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #castiel winchester #jack kline #jack winchester #destiel

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staylavendertea · 3 years ago

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music, ya know

this is a complete impulse of lying in bed middle of the night thoughts that i don’t even know if anyone’s gonna see that have been stemmed off the experiences of the past couple days, topic of 1:41 am mind boggle:

music and it’s aesthetic and importance in literal every sense cause it’s just that important to me

first experience of realizing this, i’ve always loved film scores and listening to music and the orchestral pieces from movies and shows, but it really seemed to hit me recently, like the fact that this week’s new LOKI episode, no spoilers, has the most badass score and a badass scene with such a perfect mix and musical atmosphere. i literally had one of my best friends over, who has a very small interest in comics, cinema, marvel in general, especially a show about a norse comic god that they know nothing about, and whilst they sat there for my own regard, watching the show like a normal human being would, i sat there clinching their hand, watching in awe as our music is louder than actors talking tv speakers spurted out the most spine tightening world building story and just wandered “jesus that was good” and whilst i will always think about the superior acting, cgi, the amount of different people that just went into those few scenes and like what was physical set and what was computer image and what the hell did i just watch that has my brain running olympic marathon circles right now?

the thought that said brain kept going back to was that fucking score. it was literally tearing apart of every corner of my head and why was it doing that?

second experience, another marvel one, but i digress. black widow (no spoilers i promise), thursday night, movie theater for the first time in i can’t even remember how long now and we set through so many previews just for fucking boss baby to start playing and the reaction of the theater to make me burst out laughing.

however whatever works in that little projection box, gets fixed and the movie is pushed to just a little before it starts, a nice small pepsi ad, the regal rollercoaster intro (if you go to regal movie theaters ya know what i’m talking about), and then i hear it - the marvel studios logo - something so musically engraved into my head that my ass that can’t sing for anything, can harmonize with the sound and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up around movie theater surround sound. but i can’t think of that now, i’m here to watch black widow, a movie on hiatus with the rest of the world for so long now, a character i didn’t know much about it or truly, didn’t have the most connection with in the first place. yet through that one movie, i seemed to build one of those.

ofc though scarlett johansson’s beautiful acting and world building, but it isn’t until the end of the movie that i even realize why. it was the fucking score again. when i think about it, the beginning of the movie felt like all of black widows scenes in the avengers movies for me, kinda just, there. not really emotionally tugging, not bad ofc either, but just, there. in the present, watching something cool in motion. but then it hits, what i can only describe as a theme that somehow tells the entire black widow movie in one singular composition. something so badass, story telling, but also just singularly black widow-esk. i can tell you that i walked out the movie theater rambling about the composition and looking up composers.

third experience, the most recent as it was literally like 20 minutes ago and sprung one train rail of a thought process that immediately tugged me into typing this brain vomit into a tumblr post. i have playlists. for everything. and when i say everything, i fucking mean everything. i’m a writer and a reader, i have playlists mostly for the young avengers, my most utter comfort characters, and their stories i’m writing. i also have playlists/genre/specific song for about every book i read.

when i read red white and royal blue when that came out, i noticed i listened to one of the drunks by panic at the disco the entirety of the ending of the book and the words and music fit together like puzzle pieces, not only did it make the reading experience better, but i was so fucking emerged in my over hyper-imagitive brain that when i finally actually finished the book, i still never left. rewind present day to the beginning of this past june, one last stop comes out, ofc i get it the day it comes out with my anticipation building like wildfire. i start reading that night and i put on my recents on my liked songs playlist (true to true spotify user) and i slowly over the next day as i read and finish the book, windle down to the genre, then the band, to the album, to the exact song that feels like the carbon copy of the words i’m reading. that song was only ones who know by the arctic monkeys. now go back to this past week, anyone who reads the carry on series knows, anyway the wind blows came out this past tuesday. i waited till wednesday to buy the ✨pretty special addition barnes and nobles copy✨ so that the dear friend that indulged me by watching loki that same day could buy it at the same time and make a cute book date or whateva. i started reading that night and something just felt ,,, off. i didn’t know what it was, but i was living off the pure joy that simon and co give me so i ignored the feeling. until i realized why it felt off this morning. i wasn’t listening to any fucking music, literally nothing, not even queen. motherfucking. queen.

i looked for the snowbaz playlist i made when i read carry on for the first time back in 2016/2017 when i was still a freshman in high school just to remember i deleted that literally forever ago. so i made a new one. like an hour and a half ago. very inspired on how i made the playlists for the young avengers and all their stories. letting the music talk.

the fact that all these rambling thoughts have led to this conclusion makes my head hurt, but for me at least in my own experiences. music talks. a two way conversation. a radio broadcast, turning the peg until you match the same frequency thats being put out and you can hear it and understand it. it’s like when you see comedians on stages or actors on panels, they talk, you have reactions, you talk back, and so forth the loop continues until the last voice, last note, rings out. music and songs and orchestral pieces and bands and composers and lyric writers are telling you the stories in reverse. they don’t know their doing it, obviously they meant something entirely different in their creations, but it’s like literature and any work of words and storytelling. interpretation. to me, the notes, pianos, violins, guitars, drums, singers, cellos, and anything that can make sound you can think of, is telling you something. whispering in your ear as you watch or read. facial features, emotions the characters dont say out loud, outfits, they way their standing or talking or moving or interacting with anything and everything.

when i just made that carry on playlist, i played it, decided to try read some good almost 2 am fan fic as you do, my hanging on by a thread sleep brain telling me words aren’t recognizable right now, and tighten myself into a blanket to see if i can sleep at all. the playlist still plays and my never shuts up head thinks it’s own daydreams, stresses out about anything it can, that is until the song plays. the one that just speaks the carry on trilogy language. the one that i found whilst i was reading wayward son and then would play whenever i re read carry on. the one that started this whole way too long ass post in the first place. cant be alone tonight by atlas. i heard just the first sound and i saw them, as if i were in the same room, like i never even put the book down in the first damn place because i’m actually terrified of finishing it. i could see simon in his oversized hoodies, baz in an outfit that was way too good just to be sitting inside, agatha looking as pleasantly pretty as ever, penelope poking fun at shepherd, and shepherd poking fun right back; bickering, laughing, saying the dialogues i try to remember so i can write them later, existing.

in a way music doesn’t just talk, but it lives. it lives and breaths. a three way conversation you could say. characters, stories, plot, and settings talk to the music, then the music delivers us listeners the message, so that we can send one back. this literally took me over an hour to write and i should point the important note that i do have synesthesia where colors and sounds and colors and words do the association so this entire thing might be me being entirely biased, but alas, i love sound so much and if there is anyone else that feels the same ways as i do as just a simple good film score and song makes anything ten times better, feel free to talk, i will totally be awkward, but i need some music freaks like myself around so feel free to hit me up, also if you love movies and cinema also feel free to hit me up as i need movie buddies and now it’s 3 am and i will be going to bed - peace out 🛸

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 4 years ago

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This Christmas - A Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 1)

Two life long friends. Secretly in love. Home for the holidays. Will they risk everything by telling the other how they feel? Or will they spend another year loving from afar?

Read the Prologue here

You pulled into Anne’s driveway later the following day. You could already feel the difference of being home, it was almost like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder. Maybe this was exactly what you needed.

“Oh there she is!” Anne smiled, walking out to meet you as you got your bags.

“Hi,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she smiled, hugging you tightly. “Come on, I’ve just finished dinner.”

“Good, I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” you laughed.

You followed Anne inside, leaving your bags in the living room, before heading to wash up and then meeting Anne in the dining room.

“Hm, this smells amazing,” you smiled.

“Thank you,” she smiled.

You took some onto your plate and started eating right away. “Hm, so good,” you groaned. “I’ve missed having food like this.”

“Oh, it’s simple to make,” she said.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve home cooked food,” you tell her. “When I’m trying to meet a deadline, I’m usually ordering takeaway.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that while you’re here,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I really hope I can get some words down here… if I miss this deadline… I’m screwed.”

“I’m sure you will figure it out,” she said. “You always do.”

“In the past, I have,” you nodded. “But there’s just something about this book… that I’m struggling with. I love Christmas… and I love christmas movies and books… but for some reason I’m struggling to write my own.”

“Perhaps, that’s your problem?” She suggested. “You're focusing on everything you’ve seen or read before and trying to make them yours, when you should just take your love of Christmas… and make it yours.”

“Good point,” you nodded.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you much longer. I promised I would stay out of your way and give you space to write,” she smiled. “After dinner, I’ll walk you out to the guest house.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you said.

“I can and I will,” she smirked.

You shook your head and finished eating dinner. Once you helped Anne clean up the kitchen, you grabbed your bags and followed her out to the backyard where the tiny guest house stood. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw how decorated it was for Christmas.

“It’s beautiful,” you smiled.

“Thank you,” she smiled. “I went a little extra this year, hoping it might get you into the spirit.”

“Thank you,” you nodded. “I hope so, too.”

Inside there was only a bed alongside the wall and a desk near the other side. There was a small counter with a Keurig and some water. And of course in the far corner was a christmas tree covered in small ornaments and lights.

“I know it isn’t much,” she said. “And you are more than welcome to stay in the house if you’d like, but I thought this might be better for you to not have any distractions.”

“Oh, no, yes, it’s perfect,” you nodded. “Not saying I won’t take you up on the offer to stay inside occasionally, but for now this is where I need to be.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” she smiled.

After she left, you sighed placing your things to the side. You took out your comfy, writing pajamas, and quickly changed out of your comfy traveling clothes. You grabbed your computer and your notebook, opening up the still blank page from the night before.

It was time to get writing.

Harry took in the fresh, crisp air as he drove with the window down. He was finally home after spending the last few months in California working on his newest project. He enjoyed his time in LA and the surrounding areas, but there was nothing that could beat being back in London. At least not until he arrived back home to visit his mother, which is exactly where he was headed currently.

It was late and he knew he probably wouldn’t see her until morning, but he couldn’t wait to get home any longer. She wasn’t expecting him until tomorrow evening, but he knew she wouldn’t mind his early… late arrival. It had been a long time since he had been back in his childhood town, the last time was a few days back over the summer. He always loved going back there because the people who lived there still saw him as just Harry, the annoying kid who used to work at the local bakery.

But more importantly, he loved going back because it reminded him of a simpler time. Of course, everyone probably feels that way, but for Harry, it was because there was always the off chance he would run into you. He missed you. He missed talking to you and how things used to be. There was once a time you two were inseparable, but now you two were separated and have been for years.

He blamed himself for what had happened. He let himself get carried away into the famous life and left you in the past. It wasn’t that he meant for it to happen or that he wanted it to, it’s just he was young, he was stupid, and he let too many text and phone calls go unanswered. He supposed people growing apart happened all the time, but he never thought it would happen to either of you.

But he was happy for you. He was proud of you and everything you had accomplished with your writing. He’s read every single one of your books and recommended them to all his friends. Even some of his fans, who have caught him holding a book or two of your’s in a photo. Whenever he felt lonely, he would open one of your books and read it because it felt like he was able to catch up with you.

It was weird, he knew that, but it also made him wonder what might have happened had the two of you stayed in touch. He wondered if he ever would have gotten the courage to tell you how he felt about you. Now, it’s not like he realized his feelings for you all those years ago, but recently during a drunken discussion with Jeff, he realized the one thing holding him back from having a relationship work out was… well you.

It happened after yet another relationship had gone to shit. It wasn’t very long and he didn’t really feel that heartbroken over it, which obviously was a sign that it was supposed to happen, but it still defeated him a bit.

“I don’t get it, Jeff,” Harry said, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m fucked up… I gotta be. Am I that terrible… and I’m gonna be the type of person who just dates around, falls in love, gets my heartbroken, and then repeats the same thing until I’m old?”

“You’re only in your twenties,” Jeff hiccuped. “You’ve still got plenty of time to find love and start a family one day.”

“But what if… what if I already have, but she’s already gone,” he whispered.

“What are you on about?” Jeff groaned.

“How did you know you love Glenne… that she was the one?” Harry asked.

Jeff sighed, “I don’t know… I just… knew… I feel it whenever I’m around her and when I’m not with her I want to be. I can’t picture my life without her… I know it sounds fucking cliche, but being love is very much a cliche thing to do. When you find who you’re supposed to be with, you’ll just know… I promise.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Harry whispered.

That person was, in fact, you. He knew it. Deep down he always knew it, but he never let himself admit it. He was afraid. He was stubborn. He was stupid. And now he was paying the price.

You sighed as you deleted yet another entire page worth of writing. Two hours had passed and you were still in the same exact spot you had been when you started. So, apparently, there wasn’t going to be some magical switch in your brain that would get you writing just by being in a different location. You were actually going to have to work it.

Instead of trying to write for another few hours, you decided to grab your shower things and head into the house for a shower and some time to think. First, you needed to relax your mind and your muscles from sitting in both a car and chair for far too long. Then, you could focus on the task at hand. When you got to the guest bathroom in the house, you turned on the water, deciding on taking a bath, hoping that would help.

There were some candles laying around, so you lit those, placing them around the bathroom. You pulled your hair on top of your head before undressing as the water continued filling up the tub. You grabbed your notebook, placing it on the little tray on the tub, along with your phone, before getting inside. You smiled, closing your eyes, taking in smells of the candles and sound of the soft music you were playing from your phone.

The warmth of the water soothed your muscles, releasing the tension they once held as you took some water in your hands pouring it over your chest and shoulders. You brought some up to your face, wiping any sleepiness from your eyes because you knew you wouldn’t be sleeping tonight until you came up with an idea.

Once you felt a bit relaxed, you dried off your hands, taking your notebook out and reading through your pages of notes. You had so many ideas written down, but they had been crossed out because you couldn’t get them to work. So, next you moved onto your phone where you kept your inspiration board. It was mostly an album on your phone with pictures.

You kept searching and searching until finally, you stopped at a photo of you and Harry. It was one of the last ones you took together before you stopped talking. Conveniently, it was one taken at Christmas, where you both were dressed in ugly christmas sweaters. His arms were wrapped around your shoulder and his head was placed on top of yours. You were both laughing at something, but there was something else you noticed.

You were the happiest you had been in a long time, even now. Your smile touched your eyes and there was a glow in your cheeks. There was something about the holidays that seemed to bring people together. Maybe it was part of the Christmas spirit, or because people finally got to take a break from their normal lives for a few weeks.

That’s when it clicked. The idea you had been longing for. You quickly grabbed your pen and started writing it down. Your hand moved swiftly across the paper as if you were afraid you would forget it. Once you felt like you had enough to go on for when you returned to your little hideaway.

You read over your idea.

Two life-long friends return home for the holidays. What will happen when they discover there’s more between them than just friendship. But the love they’ve been searching for was there all along.

You knew it was risky, but you also knew your chance to figure things out with Harry had passed years ago, and maybe writing this story was your way of getting closure. Because this way, you would be in control of the ending.

Here is PART 1 ! I hope you enjoyed it. I know it’s a little slow to start off, but it’ll pick up soon.

Next Part will be posted Tuesday at Midnight CST :)

#Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Harry Styles Fics #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Christmas Series

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lizzy-williams · 4 years ago

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𝐦𝐫. 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 (𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏)

((Howdy there, this is my first time writing on here, so I hope you enjoy!))

Masterlist

Summary: You accept a job as an assistant to the now world-famous Colson Baker, who shattered the charts with his album Tickets To My Downfall, and an Oscar winner for his success in the award-winning film titled Midnight in the Switchgrass, which also starred his ex, Megan Fox. But once you are accepted for the job, you seem to get closer than anticipated with Mr. Baker.

𝑾𝑯𝑬𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑫 graduated with a bachelor’s degree in business administration, you had never expected to be getting a job like this. Sure, you had heard about your employer. He had won an Oscar for christ’s sake. Not to mention a Grammy-winning album. You had to say that personally, you were a fan, which was one of the main reasons you interviewed for the job. But never in a million years did you think you would land it.

When you were employed, you were expected to start right after you had applied, which you obliged, even though his house was a thirty-minute drive away.

So now, there you were, sitting in your car, taking deep breaths. You had arrived several minutes early. You had pulled into the driveway, breathing in and out as you prepared yourself. You were excited but scared out of your mind.

“Come on, AJ, you got this, just go in there and try to not be a nuisance,” you spoke to yourself. With a deep breath, you exited the vehicle brushing yourself up, walking up the long, intimidating stairs.

You raised your hand up, taking hold of the lion-shaped knocker and knocked three times, the echos being heard even from the outside. The door was large and almost looming over you with its height. You took the waiting time to look around at the garden out front, trimmed to perfection and colorful pink roses littering the gravel. It was nothing less than stunning.

“Who’s there?” a voice asked, making you jump, your eyes shifting around.

You then realized the voice was a Ring doorbell system, and you mentally slapped yourself for not just using that. You leaned down slightly, trying to meet the camera’s eye, giving a warm smile.

“Um, I’m Adeline Williams, I’m the new assistant for Mr. Baker, I was instructed to start today,”

“Yeah, I’ll be right down.”

The voice was deeper then what you would think Mr. Baker would sound like, having seen plenty of interviews. Suddenly the door swung open, revealing a tall African-American male. He had to be at least six feet tall.

“What’s up, I’m Slim,” He held his hand out for a handshake, which you quickly took.

“Yeah, I’m Adeline, but you can just call me AJ,” you responded, “Where is Mr. Baker?”

“Yeah, he’s still asleep. His manager made you a binder for your duties and other stuff. It’s good to meet you though, just feel free to come in and grab your stuff in the kitchen.” He stated, stepping aside and motioning for you to enter.

You walked in, taking in the entryway. The walls were littered with gold record plaques for collabs he had done with other artists. Paintings of him were scattered around, some furniture almost automatically spotted that looked more expensive than your entire apartment. The ceiling was high-up, light fixtures illuminating the space, giving off a warm feel to the area.

You slipped off your flats, Slim already slipping away into the maze of the house, leaving you to find the kitchen by yourself. Your sock-clad feet patted across the hard floor, your eyes wandering around, trying to find the kitchen in the stupidly large house.

You walked down a hallway, reaching another large room, but now the walls were covered in posters and guitars, a drum set in the corner, recording systems, speakers, and even a Monster Energy Drink sponsored mini fridge which was fully stocked, drawings and art above it, the window next to it letting a fair amount of light in, the curtains drawn. You walked over to the drum set, running your hand on one of the symbols, which had sadly had a light coat of dust on it. Come to think of it, so did most of the other instruments.

“You could play them if you want,” another voice said behind you, making you jump and whip around, your eyes instantly meeting the eyes of your employer.

He was tall, six foot four according to Google, his exposed chest littered with so many tattoos, you couldn’t possibly count them all. His bleach-blond hair was long and shaggy on top of his head, meaning he had probably just woken up, grey sweatpants covering his bottom half, the hem of his boxers peeking over the waistband of the grey material, making you blush and meet his eyes again.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry, I don’t play,” you then mentally slapped yourself once again, “Sorry, what am I saying. I’m Adeline - Um, Williams, I’m here as your new assistant.”

He looked you up and down, taking in you attire, a slight sneer appearing on his face, only for a second. You guessed by his reaction that you were over-dressed.

“You look like a kindergarten teacher.” he laughed.

“Uhm, noted, do you... want me to take off my sweater or something?” you asked.

He scoffed, biting his lip and turning away, holding back from saying something that you were guessing would piss you off.

You sighed, slipping off your sweater and messing with your hands, “Would you mind showing me to your kitchen? Your friend, Slim told me that your manager had had something in there for me,”

“Yeah, follow me,” he muttered, turning on his heel and walking away, your own small feet scuttering across the floor, following him.

And of course, the kitchen was as stunning at the rest of the house, the size, making it look like a gourmet kitchen. And there on one of the granite countertops was a .5 inch pale white binder. Colson walked over to his coffee machine, starting it up and watching you walk over, opening it up.

It listed normal duties like setting up venues for tours, making appointments with the production company, merchandise shipment, and payment, normal duties for Colson himself, (Making iced coffee, booking flights, rides for Casie, his daughter, for school, etc.), and traveling with him to the recording studio for sessions, along with renting time for the studio itself.

“So, what do ya think. The list gonna scare you off?” he asked, a sly smile on his face.

“Well, seems easy enough. It just seems like a lot of booking things.” you smiled, “But it shouldn’t be a problem at all, Mr. Baker.”

He grimaced, “Yikes, just call me Colson. You make me sound like an old man. And if I’m going to be seeing you every day, we kinda need to be on a first-name basis.” he said, opening one of the hundreds of cabinets on the wall, pulling out a mug, “What’s your name again?”

“Adeline. But you can just call me AJ.” you looked back down at the papers, turning to a page to all the numbers needed for your position.

“What’s the J?”

“Huh?” you asked, not looking away from the page.

“Well, in AJ I already know what the A is, so what’s the J?” He smirked, pouring the coffee grounds into the coffee maker, pressing start.

“Oh, um, Jane.” you shrugged off.

“Adeline Jane Williams,” he repeated to himself out loud.

Your heart unintentionally fluttered. Never in a million years did you think that Colson Baker, Machine Gun Kelly, would ever say your full name.

The day went by smoothly, your brain soon catching onto the rhythm of things, you and Colson making small talk as you typed away, sending emails to the publishing companies, his agent, manager, and PR team. Colson would occasionally text you to make him a drink, which you did, always getting right back to work afterward. People came in and out, paying you no mind. The only one you honestly recognized was Rook, his drummer, who only came in to grab a beer from the fridge. Soon enough, the time reached 5 o’clock.

“So, what do you wanna eat?” he suddenly asked, walking into the kitchen area, leaning over the counter you were working at.

The sound of the TV played as you heard the laughter of a group of people in the other room.

“Oh, I honestly have no preference,” you answered honestly, looking up from your Chromebook.

“You sure? Me and the guys were gonna Postmate some stuff, but they can’t decide either.”

“Ummm, I heard there’s a really good restaurant downtown called Beau Jo's. Hear they have a mean menu of Cajun food.” you perked up,

“Alright, Beau Jo’s it is.” He responded, picking up his phone and walking away.

Even though you two had small talk, you still felt like he was so cold to you. Like he didn’t like you, or he didn’t trust you. But you really needed this job. After you finished with your work, you walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

There, you were greeted with glancing eyes of 20 or more people, who were scattered throughout the space.

A man walked up to you, looking eccentric as ever. You only knew him because you knew he dated Bella Thorne, but you would never tell him that.

“Heyyyy, you must be the new assistant. Welcome to the best years of your life!” he greeted, slinging an arm around your shoulders, a cola in his other hand. The smell of expensive cologne.

“Modern Sunshine, I presume?” I asked in a snobby British accent, making him laugh.

“Yo Kells! I like this chick!” he called out to Colson, who was across the room talking to some blond broad in short shorts and a crop top.

“Why don’t you come meet the rest of the guys.”

Well, you knew it was coming. It was the end of the night and everyone had gone home, and it was your job to order Ubers for everyone who wasn’t fit to drive. (Which was close to half the people there).

You gathered up your things, sighing as you grabbed your kindergarten teacher sweater, packing it in your bag along with your computer and everything else. Finally, you tucked the binder into the back pocket.

“You heading out?” Colson asked from behind you, his hand on your shoulder.

Your arms formed goosebumps as you looked back smiling, “Yeah, I think it’s that time.”

“Cool. Well, have a good night.” he said while you slipped on your flats, “Oh, and one more thing before you go.”

You turned your head to look into his eyes.

“Tomorrow wear something more... spicy,”

#machine gun kelly #mgk #mgk smut #mgk imagine #tickets to my downfall #hotel diablo #megan fox #rookxx #slimxx #colson #colson baker #mgk x reader #colson baker x reader #love #romance #imagine #fanfiction #alpha omega #lace up

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im-a-space-gay · 5 years ago

Text

Dude, We're Getting The Band FamILY Back Together!

(I have been awake for 15 hours. I've been working on this since 6 P.M.. It is 5 A.M.. I am developing a migraine. I do not regret it. If there's any mistakes, let me know, and I'll look over it and edit. Also, if somebody could tell me how to do the cut-drop-thingy that writers on Tumblr use, that would make my life a whole heck of a lot easier. Oh look, the Sun's rising. Also, debating whether or not if I should make this into an au or keep it as a oneshot, so some feedback on that would be nice. But for now? I'm gonna eat, hydrate, and sleep, because god knows I don't do any of that stuff enough. Good day)

(Inspired by Dude, We're Getting The Band Back Together from Phineas and Ferb)

(If something like this has been done before, I'm so so so sorry)

Thomas was brainstorming with Joan in his backyard about what to do today when they decided to take the discussion into the kitchen where it was cooler.

When they entered, they saw Thomas's dad sitting at the table, looking down at a slip of paper with tears in his eyes.

"Dad?" Thomas asked, moving closer to the man at the table. Joan stayed where they were because, even though they were close to Mr. Sanders, they felt it would be better for his real child to bring this up.

He looked up at Thomas in surprise.

"Kids," he smiled, quickly wiping the tears. "What's up? Need more blueprint paper?"

"Dad, what's wrong?" Thomas asked, pulling out a chair and sitting next to him, Joan deciding to sit at the table as well while Mr. Sanders answered.

He looked down at the paper and sighed.

"It... It would've been our anniversary today."

Thomas tilted his head. Anniversary? For what?

"What do you mean?" Thomas's dad looked up at him and bit his lip. He looked to be deciding something before taking a deep breath.

"Do... Do you wanna know about your dads?" Thomas's eyes widened in shock.

"Yeah, oookay," Joan said, and when Virgil looked over, he saw Joan in more shock than Thomas seemed to be in. "This really seems like a convo I shouldn't be apart of."

Virgil laughed before looking at Thomas again. Thomas just inhaled before nodding.

"Yeah. I do want to know about him."

"Them," Thomas's dad corrected, looking back at the photo fondly. "Dads plural."

"Wait, what?" Joan asked, looking really confused.

"Mhmm," Virgil hummed with a smile, tears coming back into his eyes. "I met them in college, because we all loved music so much. It was so long ago that I still had to wear my binder."

Virgil beckoned both of them closer and they swarmed around Virgil as he showed them the photo. They easily recognized the one holding the camera as a younger version of Thomas's dad with a black, plaid hoodie that was way too big on him. Then, there were three other guys. One looked like he deserved to be the center of attention, with swoopy hair, charming green eyes and a prince-like costume. Then, there was one who's smile outshined the sun, with curly hair and freckles and too big glasses, with a cyan polo, a gray cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, and khaki shorts. And finally, one who looked to be the embodiment of the calm after a storm with a small smile, he wore rectangular glasses, a black polo, a light blue tie, and blue jeans.

"This one," he said, pointing to the one in a prince costume. "Is Roman. He was as extravagant and dramatic as he looks."

Thomas laughed, tears in his eyes from getting to know about his dad. No, his dads.

"And this one," he pointed at the one with a cardigan. "Is Patton. I always called him Pattycake though. He was so, so friendly and warm, like you Thomas."

"Really?" Thomas said, looking at Patton.

"Yep. And last but certainly not least," Virgil pointed at the sophisticated looking man. "Logan. He was so smart and calm and amazing. All of them were. And you remind me so much of all of them in different ways."

"Wow," Thomas breathed, and even Joan looked in awe. "Why was Roman dressed like that?"

Virgil laughed, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Because of our love of music, we started a band that we called 'LAMP', for reasons I still do not know. We all had one outfit for the band to represent who we were, and Roman chose that, because 'he was so princely'," Virgil laughed, and the kids started chuckling. "I played piano, Logan played drums, Patton played guitar, and Roman played bass. And soon after, we... fell in love with each other."

Joan made gagging noises as a joke, and Virgil laughed harder.

"A couple years went, and everything was great, but then..." Virgil paused, his inhales becoming shaky. "Logan and Roman started to always fight, and Patton tried so, so hard to break it up and get things back to how they were. And I- I-"

Virgil sobbed slightly, and pulled his patchwork hoodie closer to himself.

"I did nothing. I was and always will be a coward. But, eventually, we all decided it would be better if we- if we never saw each other again. A month after, I found out I was pregnant with you. I didn't want them to know, so I didn't drag them down because I'd be a burden. I never even tried to figure out which one was your 'real' father. I didn't think I could handle it. Oh, what I wouldn't give to perform with them and see them happy one last time."

Thomas hugged his dad so tight. And slowly, a thought- a plan, formed in his head. He smiled, turning it over and confirming, yes, this is what he wanted to do today.

"Hey dad?" Thomas asked, letting go of him to see Virgil drying his tears and putting the picture on the table. "Do you have... Any more pictures of them? That I could see?"

Virgil nodded with a smile, standing up and going into the living room before going upstairs.

"Dude," when Joan looked at him, he smiled determinedly. "I know what we should do today."

"Thommy, no offence, but I was thinking something more exciting than looking through photos," Joan said, slinging an arm around Thomas. Thomas laughed.

"No! We should get the band back together! At least for today!" Joan looked ecstatic as they nodded, pulling Thomas up the stairs and past his dad, taking the photo album without breaking their stride. Virgil laughed and told them to have fun as they made their way to the study.

Thomas sat down at the computer in the study, clicking keys as Joan looked over his shoulder, flipping through the album. Eventually, Thomas found his way to a video, which he clicked on. He didn't really pay attention until the part he needed.

"Bass player Roman Royal now runs a trendy hair salon, drummer Logic now quietly works at the public library, only lead singer and guitarist Patton is working in the music industry, and nobody knows where the pianist, Anxiety, has gone."

"Wait, rewind to Patton's part," Joan said, stopping their browsing through photos. Thomas did as they said and paused when told to. "I know that sign! It's down on main street!"

"We'll get him first, and then dad will be happy!" Thomas said excitedly. He looked at Joan and held his hand out. "Ready team?"

"So ready that I'm dead... Y," Joan finished off awkwardly, joining their hand with Thomas's.

"First, we need to spread the news and keep dad oblivious," Thomas smirked. "And I know just the guy."

---

Soon enough, the doorbell rung and Thomas opened it to a sixteen year old typing rapidly on his phone.

"Hey babes," Remy said, stepping inside and sipping on his Starbucks.

"I need you to--"

"Spread word about LAMP's reunion and keep your dad as blind as a bat? On it."

"Thanks Rem," he said, hugging the teens legs before grabbing Joan and running out the front door.

---

"Patton's Music Shop. This looks like the place," Thomas chuckled nervously as he looked at the sign. "Joan. I don't think I'm 100% ready to meet my dads."

"You'll do fine buckaroo," Joan patted his shoulder and dragged him into the music shop, where a customer was yelling at a man that Thomas recognized as Patton. One of his dads. Dear lord he wasn't ready to do this.

"I want a country guitar!" The customer yelled, and Patton looked pleading.

"I'm sorry Mx., but all I have are rock'n'roll guitars!"

"Whatever," the stranger said stomping out of the store, almost running over the two kids.

"They'll be back," Patton mumbled to himself, straightening his baby blue polo.

"Uhh," Thomas said, and Patton looked over at the two kids, and it took everything in Thomas to not faint from nervousness. "You're- you're Patton from LAMP, right?"

Patton smiled brightly and oh my goodness Thomas was not gonna make it through the conversation.

"Yeppers! Always a pleasure to see fans in public! Though," Patton said, looking confused. "You do look a bit young to be a fan of LAMP."

"I am, but my- my dad isn't. He- uh- loves, you guys."

"Really?" Patton said excitedly before he tilted his head. "You do look strangely familiar. What's your dad's name? Maybe I know him."

"Uh- well- you see--"

"Thomas," Joan said next to him, and he looked at them. "Breath."

Thomas nodded and breathed for a bit before looking at Patton.

"My dad is Virgil. Virgil Sanders." Patton froze and his eyes widened before kneeling down next to Thomas in excitement.

"You're Virgil's kid?! You're as cute as he was when I last saw him!" Patton suddenly deflated, looking at the floor. "Does that mean he's moved on?"

"Er- no." Patton looked up with curiosity. "You see, I'm actually one of your guy's- we don't know who's. As far as I know, he hasn't dated anyone since I was born."

Patton looked overjoyed again in a moment.

"Why are you here little one?" He asked, standing up.

"Uh, me and Joan- I'm Thomas, by the way- are getting LAMP back together." Patton squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"REALLY?! Did Logan and Roman agree to this? Did your father agree to this?" Patton immediately worried, biting his lip.

"You're the first one we've come to," Joan admitted, and Patton looked at them. "We're trying to surprise Mr. Sanders and figured you'd be the easiest to convince. We will convince Mr. Royal and Logic to do this. Watch. Us."

"That sounds reassuring! I'm in."

"Okay, we'll text you where to go and when if we may kindly have your number?" Thomas asked, holding out his phone.

---

Remy called Thomas and Joan when they were outside of Roman's Hair Emporium.

"Hey babes. How's it goin'?"

"We got Patton," Thomas said happily, but also nervously because dear goodness he was going to have to talk to two more dads. "We're outside of Roman's Hair Emporium to talk to Roman, and in case that doesn't work, Joan's got a back up plan."

Thomas looked at Joan as they wore a medieval helmet, carrying a morningstar over their shoulder and holding a net in the other hand.

"How's it going with you?"

"Nearly everyone in town knows and your dad is still clueless. Well, I better get back to things over here. Good luck babes!"

"Thanks Rem," Thomas hung up and stared at the relatively imposing doors before he and Joan pushed them open and entered.

"Do you have an appointment?" The lady behind the desk said bored.

"No," Thomas said, pulling up a printed out poster of LAMP that Patton gave them and pointed at Roman. "We're looking for Roman. You know, the bass player of LAMP?"

Out of nowhere a pink and very sharp comb sliced through the air and impaled the poster, pinning it to the wall. Everyone but the kids gasped and looked at a man at the back of the salon that was undoubtably Roman Royal in casual clothes, and he was glaring at the poster in disdain.

He walked over to the kids, before kneeling down to get a closer look at them.

"Valerie, who are these little people?"

"I don't know sir," the lady behind the desk replied, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"You're a mess," he said looking at Thomas, making his heart sting a little bit before he looked to Joan. "And you, Fuedal Europe is so last month."

"We're trying to get LAMP back together," Thomas said, taking his (very little) courage and straightening his back. Roman huffed and stood up.

"Oh for goodness sake, talk to the hand."

"You see," Thomas said, starting to glare a bit. "My dad would've never had me if it wasn't for your band, and he's having a really rough day--"

"B to the O-R-I-N-G," Roman said, inspecting his nails with a bored look. Thomas didn't need to look over to see Joan raising their weapon menacingly with a hateful look. Thomas raised a hand in Joan's direction.

"Not yet, Joan. I got this."

"Okay."

"Well excuuuuse me, Mr. Royal," Thomas said, cutting off whatever it was Roman was about to say. "But if Virgil Sanders is having a rough day, I will do everything in my darn power to make it better, and if it takes getting the band back together for a night, I will do it Mr. Royal."

"Virgil?" Roman said in shock, looking at him. "You're- you're Virgil's son?"

"Yes. And I am Patton's son, and I am Logan's son, and I am your son." Thomas glared, getting on his tippy toes in an attempt to look Roman in the face. "So, we will get this forsaken band back together for tonight, and you'll never have to be associated with it ever again. Just to make dad happy. Please."

Roman looked down at him for a moment before ruffling his hair with a smile.

"You have your dad's fire, that's for sure."

---

Now Thomas and Joan were standing outside of the public library, and Thomas had his phone pressed to his ear.

"Hello? Talyn?" He said into the phone.

"Hey Thomas! What's up?" Talyn's slightly squeaky voice came through the phone, and Thomas smiled proudly.

"Guess what band's getting back together?"

"LAMP?" Thomas jumped in surprise and his expression turned to one of confusion.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?"

"It was the lead story on the five o'clock news," Talyn explained. "Let me guess, you guys need a stage, right?"

"Yeah! Can you help us out?"

"Already on it," Talyn said happily before moving away from the phone. "PRIDE SCOUTS, YOU BETTER HURRY YOUR PRETTY BUTTS! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

Thomas hung up and they entered the library.

"Who would've thought a drummer from a rock'n'roll band would end up in a place so quiet?" Joan whispered to him. He nodded in agreement as they made their way through. They both inhaled as they saw him at the librarians desk, stamping books before putting them on a cart. Logan.

The only thing that changed from the photo Virgil had shown them was the tie, which was replaced with a darker blue one with stripes.

They walked up to him, and he looked up at them while still doing his job.

"May I help you?"

Thomas pulled out the poster from before and showed it to Logan, pointing at his picture.

"You're Logic, ex-drummer of the band LAMP, right?" Logan lightly smiled, still stamping books.

"That, children, is a past life," Logan said, pointing to his nametag. "My name is Logan. Why do you ask?"

"Because they're reforming for one night only!" Logan's smile disappeared and he raised an eyebrow. "My dad is down in the dumps and I know the only way to make him happy is for him to see you guys again!"

"Well kids," he said looking back down at the books. "As charming as that sounds, I'm afraid the other members might not be too... Pleased, to see me."

"Are you kidding me?" Thomas asked, and he leaned on the desk, making Logan look at him. "Patton seemed pretty excited at seeing you all again, and Roman said he wished to make amends for his old ways!"

Logan looked up and stopped stamping books, looking at him in surprise.

"Really...?"

"Yeah!" Thomas said, smiling brightly. Logan smiled before he looked back down, resuming his work with a frown.

"How are you going to get Anxiety to agree to this? Not even the media knows where he is."

"About that," Thomas said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. Logan looked at him curious. "My dad- the one I'm doing all of this for? Uh- he's Virgil Sanders."

Logan stopped stamping books again in shock, and he tilted his head slightly.

"Your dad is Virgil?"

"Yep. Also I'm Patton's, Roman's, and your son," Thomas explained, and Logan inhaled sharply.

"Why didn't I know I have a son?" Thomas frowned and backed away from the desk, and Joan stepped in.

"Mr. Sanders has an awful habit of thinking himself as a burden. It even bums me out!"

Logan smiled softly, tears gathering in his eyes.

"He always did have self-esteem issues."

---

"Thank you Logan for driving us here," Thomas said, exiting the car and pulling him and Joan through the Pride Scout's construction.

"Your welcome," he said as he was pulled into the garage where they saw Patton and Roman hugging.

"Guess who I brought!" Thomas said, closing the door. Both Patton and Roman looked over and there was tears streaming down both of their faces. They immediately perked up and literally threw themselves onto Logan, making him yelp.

"LOGAN! I'M SO SO SO SORRY AND I'M TERRIBLE AND I DON'T EVER EXPECT YOU TO FORGIVE ME AND I'M SORRYYYYY," Roman sobbed, clinging onto Logan and Logan awkwardly patting him, tears falling down his own face.

"Roman, it's okay." Roman sniffled and looked up at him.

"R-Really?"

"Yes you dork," Logan snorted, holding both of them tight.

"Thommy, my man," Joan said, slinging their arm around Thomas, and unbeknownst to them, the grown men were now looking at them. "Your dads become any more sappy, and I might have to leave."

Thomas laughed and pulled his friend into a hug, twirling them around a bit.

"Oh, but Sappy Express hasn't arrived yet!"

"Sappy Express?" Patton asked, and when the kids looked at them, they were still hugging each other but were looking at them with fond expressions.

"Thomas?" A muffled voice called from the house and Thomas panicked, hearing the steps coming toward the garage. He (carefully) pushed Joan off and ran to the door, opening it enough to see his dad looking worried.

"HeY DAd!" He said in a panic, and Virgil looked even more concerned.

"Are you okay? I thought I heard someone yelling." Thomas silently cursed Roman before smiling widely at Virgil.

"Yelling? Here? In this house? What? That's crazy!" Virgil frowned, crossing his arms and giving Thomas the knowing look.

"I know when you're lying Thomas. So, care to tell me what you're lying about?" Virgil said, furrowing his brows as Thomas laughed nervously.

"Okay, I know you hate surprises, but hear me out on this one!" Virgil uncrossed his arms as Thomas suddenly opened the door all the way. Virgil froze at the sight of his former bandmates, them smiling softly at Virgil with more tears than before. "Surprise?"

Virgil stood there, blinking at them for a moment before turning away.

"I forgot to take my meds this morning. That makes sense. I'll take my meds and I'll be as close to sane as a Virgil Sanders can get," he said loudly, starting to walk away but someone grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. Virgil looked over to see Patton. Patton smiling. Holding him. And he could feel it. And oh god now he was crying.

"P-Patton?"

"Hey Starlight," Patton whispered, smiling so, so kindly at him. And Virgil just barreled into him and hugged him and soon he felt another two pairs of arms wrap around him and when he looked up he cried harder at seeing Logan and Roman. They were all there. All hugging. Oh god.

"Wait wait wait," Virgil said, backing away from them, which made them frown a bit. He looked at Thomas and Joan and did a sob-ish laugh. "Get in here kids. Even you Joan. You're getting on Sappy Express whether you like it or not."

"Ohhh, Sappy Express! I get it now!"

Thomas and Joan ran into Virgil's arms and Virgil beckoned his... His friends? Over as well. They all hugged as a famILY for who knows how long before something in the garage slammed open and they all looked as Talyn came tumbling into the room.

"Alright b*tches--"

"TALYN. What did I say about cussing?" Virgil frowned, and the other three adults looked between them confused, as Virgil used to cuss all the time. Talyn sighed.

"I can cuss all I want, as long as I don't do it on your property..."

"That's right. No cussing in me ma's house," Virgil said seriously, and the other three laughed and held on to Virgil tighter somehow.

"Anyways, ladies and Mr. Sanders, time to go on! There's a whole crowd waiting!"

"What?" Virgil asked before looking at Thomas, who was trying to sneak away with Joan. "Thomas Sanders, Joan Stokes."

They both turned around looking worried.

"Heeeeeeey dad," they both said simultaneously, Joan even calling Virgil dad (they did it a lot).

"What is Talyn talking about?"

"Your kid--"

"Our kid," Virgil corrected with a glare, and Roman continued with a smile.

"Our kid decided to get the band back together for one night for a concert. Marvelous idea if I do say so myself!"

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Virgil shouted in a panic, looking at Thomas. "Oh no. Oh no no no no, this can't be good."

"Virgil."

"Oh dear we haven't done this in so long! What if something goes wrong while we're up there?!"

"Virge."

"Anything could happen! ANYTHING!"

"Starlight."

"What if something catches on fire?! WHAT IF A METEOR COMES--"

"DAD!"

Virgil looked at Thomas, hyperventilating. Thomas smiled.

"You'll be fine dad."

Virgil calmed down his breathing and smiled shakily at his son.

"Okay. Okay," he said, turning to his bandmates-for-the-night and nodded. "Okay! Let's do this."

Someday, there would be dates. And they would move into one house, and there would be a wedding. There would be movie nights, laughter, and warmth on cold days. There would also be arguments, tears, panic attacks, and things that would tear them apart. But they always mended before things could get too out hand (partially out of fear of another child being born and Virgil being too scared to tell them (it actually almost happened once. They all love Emile with their hearts)). They always came back together.

But right now? Right now, they had a crowd waiting for them.

205 notes · View notes

kwanisms · 5 years ago

Text

Jealousy - ick

anonymous said: can i ask for something smuty with changkyun where he’s your best friend or something like that, and doesnt admit hes jealous of you until he loses his mind? thank uuu love your work <3

⤑ genre: angst with a bit of smut, idol!Changkyun, best friend reader ⤑ pairing: idol!Changkyun x bff!Reader ⤑ warning: sexual content, foul language, slight daddy kink, choking, ⤑ summary: Changkyun is your best friend and you notice how distant he’s become since you befriended the rest of his members, especially his hyung, Kihyun. ⤑ word count: 5k

a/n: I hope this is okay, I wasn’t sure what you wanted Changkyun to be jealous about so I made up a reason. Thank you for requesting and I hope you like it! ~K♡

You pulled out your phone and felt a pang in your heart when you saw that Changkyun hadn’t opened your message. It had been two days since he last talked to you which was odd. Changkyun had been your best friend since you were kids.

When he became a trainee, the two of you lost contact but after he debuted with Monsta X, the two of you reconnected like you hadn’t spent a day apart.

It happened at a fan sign. You bought a ticket, luckily, and flew to Seoul to attend. You were halfway to the stage when you spotted Changkyun. He was smiling at and talking to a fan, signing their album while they told him a story.

After she finished, she moved on and Changkyun took the opportunity to look around, spotting you instantly and his eyes widened when he recognized you. The entire time you were working your way down the table, he threw glances at you until you finally reached him.

“Wow,” he breathed, dropping Korean for your language instead. “(Y/N),” he said smiling at you. “It’s been a long time,” he said, resting his chin in his palm and looking at you with a grin. “You look amazing,” he added looking down as you pushed your copy of their album at him.

He took it and started flipping through the pages of the photobook. Once he found what he was looking for, he started writing. “What have you been up to?” he asked.

You regaled him with the tale of your high school experience without him, navigating the halls you once roamed together until you graduated and went onto university. He listened with interest as you recounted the past few years without him.

He smiled up at you, capping his marker and taking care to close your album and put it back in its sleeve. “Let’s catch up, yeah?” he asked, giving you a wink and handing your album back to you. He took your hand in his and gave it a small squeeze.

“Make sure to look through the whole book,” he said nodding at the album. Before you could ask, you were ushered along to the next member while Changkyun turned his attention to his next fan.

After the fan meet ended and you returned to your hotel room, you pulled out the album and pulled out the photobook, flipping through it to find the members’ messages to you. It wasn’t until almost the end that something caught your eye. Changkyun had written a note at the very back of the book on a blank page.

“I have a new number, but my KKT is the same. Message me sometime,” it read. You hadn’t used the Korean texting app in years, losing it when you changed phones and never redownloading it.

You decided to give it a shot, downloading it and trying to sign in with your own credentials. It worked. You had all your old contacts back, including-- Changkyun.

You clicked on his user and pressed the freechat option. Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, not sure what to type. You settled for something simple. “Hey, what’s up?”

His reply came quickly.

Kyun [21:42]: hey (: not much. Just got back to the dorms. Wbu? You [21:43]: just chilling in my hotel room. I check out in a couple days. Kyun [21:44]: you don’t leave for another day? You [21:44]: nope Kyun [21:45]: i’m free tomorrow after morning practice. Want to meet up?

You froze. Should you? Wouldn’t he get in trouble?

You must have taken too long to reply because Changkyun sent another text.

Kyun [21:47]: you okay? You [21:48]: won;t you get in trouble for hanging out with me? Kyun [21:49]: probably, but who cares? (; You [21:50]: … okay (:

The next day, the two of you met up around lunch time, grabbing a bite to eat before exploring the city. You wore a black dust mask and baseball cap at the request of Changkyun. “To protect your privacy,” he told you. The two of you spend a whole day out together, enjoying the mild weather.

You parted ways, promising to keep in touch until you moved to Seoul for work.

Months later, you made the move and Changkyun used bit of every free time he had to spend time with you. He called it making up for lost time. You were loving it. Everything was almost as if you never parted.

At first, Changkyun didn’t tell the members about you, wanting to keep it a secret for a while but eventually, they found out and started pressuring him for details. He couldn’t keep you a secret any longer. He told the guys about you and how he knew you.

To his surprise, they encouraged his friendship with you and even extended an invitation to you to come around and meet them and perhaps join them in a movie night, an offer you accepted the moment Changkyun told you about it.

So one Friday night, you got dressed in your comfiest clothes and made your way across town to their dorm. Changkyun met you downstairs and led you up to their dorm. Once inside, you were introduced to the rest of the members of Monsta X.

You had a great time hanging out with them and they enjoyed having you over so they continued to invite you over. Movie nights were a popular thing with your group. Changkyun always sat you between him and Kihyun whom you formed a very fast friendship with.

Little did you know how much your friendship with Kihyun would affect your relationship with Changkyun.

Before long, Kihyun started asking you to go out with him. You didn’t think much of it, since it was kind of the same when you went out with Changkyun. Just two friends hanging out.

After the first time was when you noticed Changkyun’s distantness. You asked him if he was okay and he confirmed he was. He asked you to spend a day out with him and you agreed, needing another day out after a rough week at work.

After going out with Changkyun, he seemed to return to his old self. Until you mentioned going out to get lunch and go shopping with Kihyun.

Changkyun refused to answer your texts and that was where you were at now. Dealing with him being unresponsive.

You were starting to worry so you did they only thing you could think of. You called Kihyun.

He answered on the fourth ring. “Hey, (Y/N),” he said in a cheerful voice. “Hey, Ki,” you replied. “Are you guys home?” you asked. “No, we’re out right now. Well,” he said. “Changkyun’s home.” he added. “He mentioned not wanting to go out,” he said.

You nodded to yourself. ‘He has to be ignoring me then.’

“I was thinking of popping by to see him. Is that okay?” you asked. “Of course!” Kihyun replied happily. “Try to cheer him up, if you can. He’s been acting like a kicked puppy for a couple days now.” You thanked Kihyun for giving you the code to get in and started getting ready to head over.

The commute over was long, giving you plenty of time to think about what you were going to say to Changkyun. Maybe figure out why he was being so distant.

When you reached the dorm, you made your way up, unlocking the door to get in. Once in the dorm, you looked around, noticing that there seemed to be no sign of Changkyun. You made your way back toward his room, the sounds of a computer game growing louder with each step.

You peered into the room through the cracked door and saw Changkyun sitting at his desk, playing some sort of online game. You pushed the door open quietly, watching him for a few minutes. He was cursing and muttering under his breath at his opponents.

It was kind of cute. You decided to get his attention and coughed, clearing your throat. Changkyun jumped, spinning around to look at you. The moment he looked away from his screen, his character died and he swore loudly, rounding on you angrily.

“How did you get in?” he asked, getting up from his seat and crossing the room to meet you at the door. “Kihyun gave me the code,” you said, letting out a yelp when Changkyun grabbed your arm and started to lead you down the hall and towards the door.

“Well, Kihyun isn’t here, so go home,” he snapped, shoving you toward the door, causing you to stumble. You stood up straight and rounded on him. “I didn’t come to see Kihyun. I asked him for the code so I could come see you,” you said, your eyes narrowed.

“But clearly I made a mistake coming here,” you added bending down to slip into your shoes. “(Y/N),” Changkyun started scratching the back of his neck. “Don’t worry,” you said, choking back sobs. “I’ll just go since you clearly don’t want me here,” you said reaching for the handle of the door and turning it.

You had only pulled the door opened a little before Changkyun pushed it shut. You turned to glare at him, finding only his soft expression instead. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. The two of you stared at one another before you sniffled. Changkyun pulled you into a hug, wrapping you in his warmth.

“You’re mean,” you murmured, your voice muffled by his shoulder. He shushed you, hugging you tightly. “I know,” he replied. “I suck. I’m sorry,” he repeated. The two of you parted and Changkyun led you back down the hall to his room, shutting the door behind you.

You turned to face him, watching as he sat down on the edge of his bed, running his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. You moved to stand in front of him, reaching a hand up to ruffle his hair. “What’s wrong?” you asked. He looked up at you and instead of answering, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer, resting his head against your stomach just below your breast.

“I’m an asshole,” he said plainly. You smacked his shoulder lightly. “You’re not wrong, but don’t say that,” you said as you rubbed the spot you hit. The two of you said nothing until something hit you.

“Why did you think I was coming to see Kihyun?” you asked. He shrugged. ‘Nope. That’s not good enough.’ You took Changkyun’s face in between your hands and forced him to look up at you. “Answer me, Kyun. Why did you think I was coming to see Kihyun?” you asked again.

“Because you’re always spending time with him,” he murmured, not looking at you, instead looking off to the side. You narrowed your eyes at him. ‘Was he… jealous?’

“I spend time with you,” you countered and he shrugged. “Lately it feels like you’re all about Kihyun,” he said quietly. You poked his shoulder. “I can’t believe this,” you said and Changkyun looked up at you. “You’re jealous,” you said. The word struck a chord with Changkyun and he got defensive.

“No,” he said. “I’m not.” You smirked at him. “Oh my god, you totally are!” you said. Changkyun growled and grabbed you by the hips, pulling you down past him onto the mattress.

You let out a squeal as Changkyun tipped you backwards onto his bed. “Changkyun!” you said, propping yourself up on your elbows as your best friend hovered over you, his face dangerously close to yours. You gulped, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks as your heart thudded erratically in your chest.

You had never been this close to him before and it was affecting you more than you’d like to admit.

“W-what are you doing?” you stammered, noticing the way Changkyun’s eyes dipped to your lips and then back up. Neither one of you moved nor said a word. ‘What is his deal?’ you wondered. ‘What is he thinking?’ you asked yourself.

Sometimes Changkyun was an enigma to you, doing and saying things to make you think one thing and then turning around and acting the opposite. It was confusing but you got used to it. You were experienced with his weird mannerisms. His cool facade.

What you weren’t used to was this man before you. The one with a stoic face but eyes that burned with the fires of jealousy. Changkyun had never been the type before to express jealousy before. He had never gotten mad at you for spending time with other guys. That just wasn’t him.

The man before you now was exactly that. Someone driven to do things he wouldn’t normally do because he got jealous over you spending more time with another man. What happened to him?

The feeling of Changkyun’s breath fanning over your face brought you out of your own thoughts, reminding you of the situation you were in. You watched as his eyes dipped to your lips again and back up to meet your eyes, flashing a split second warning before he acted.

He closed the distance between you, pressing his lips against yours and taking your ability to breathe away just like that. Your head swam with thoughts but your subconscious pushed those thoughts aside, allowing you to focus instead on what you were doing. You were being kissed by your best friend. So you did the only thing that made sense. You kissed him back.

Changkyun was shocked at himself for crossing the line he said he would never cross but he was even more surprised when he felt you soften under him, your lips moving against his gently as one of your hands moved to grab onto his bicep, squeezing slightly, urging him to continue.

Changkyun slowly laid his weight on you, forcing you down on your back, his hips resting between your thighs. The kiss slowly progressed as Changkyun parted your lips with his, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth and start exploring as your free hand moved to comb through his hair.

Feeling your nails against his scalp, Changkyun let out a soft moan, muffled against your lips. You tugged slightly, signaling him to pull back a little. The two of you didn’t move, instead stared at each other intensely as you both struggled to catch your breath.

“How long?” you finally asked. Changkyun took a couple of short breaths before responding. “Years,” he answered. You took his face in between your hands. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” you asked, studying his face. Changkyun shrugged. That answer wasn’t good enough for you.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you asked again. Changkyun sighed. “Because I would rather have part of you than none of you at all,” he answered. It was sweet in a self sacrifice sort of way.

You smiled, running your fingers through his hair, pulling him back down for another kiss. “You can have all of me,” you murmured before kissing him again. Changkyun pulled away, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Do you mean that?” he asked sitting back up. You sat up to meet him. After studying his face you nodded. “Yes,” you said. “I mean that.”

Changkyun reached out, taking one of your hands in his. “Like, right now?” he asked and you cocked your head to the side watching as his eyes trailed down to look at his lap and back up. Glancing down you could see what he meant. You could see his growing erection through his sweats.

A sly grin pulled over your lips as you looked back up, meeting his gaze. You nodded your consent before grabbing the front of his hoodie and pulling him toward you, locking him in yet another kiss. Changkyun wasted no time in taking control, pushing you back on the bed, his lips still on yours.

He broke the kiss momentarily to remove his hoodie, revealing his white tee shirt. His lips attached to your neck, kissing along the sensitive skin under your jaw while his hands were free to wander, feeling their way down your sides to your hips and down the outsides of your thighs.

His hands gripped the underside of your thighs, pulling your hips closer against his as he pressed his hard on against your core, earning a gasp from you. You felt him nip at the skin on the side of your neck, running his tongue over the same spot before biting down a little hard, allowing a moan to escape your lips.

Changkyun, incited by your sounds of pleasure, grinded against you again, letting out a satisfactory moan at the friction. You could feel your arousal starting to pool in your panties and if he kept doing what he was doing, you would be soaking in minutes.

Despite never being intimate with him, Changkyun seemed to know your body better than you thought. Or perhaps he was just a quick learner. Whatever the case was, it was clear he knew what he was doing. Changkyun bucked his hips again, pressing his hard member against you and this time, you moaned out his name.

He pulled his head back to look at you, his pupils dilated as he looked into your eyes. “(Y/N)?” he whispered. Your hand moved to the back of his neck, preventing him from pulling away. “I need you,” you said breathlessly. Changkyun couldn’t believe this was happening.

He had fantasized about this for a few weeks now. Ever since he’d realized his feelings and desire for you were real, he’d wanted this exact moment to come but now that it was here, he didn’t know what to do. He froze, staring at you with wide eyes. ‘Shit.’

You sat up, taking his hand. “Changkyun?” you asked. At the sound of your voice, he seemed to come back to reality. His eyes met yours. “Are you okay?” you asked. He nodded vigorously. ‘A lie. He was terrified.’ “Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine.”

You could tell he was not fine. You could hear it in his voice. Instead of pressing him further, you scooted closer to him, almost straddling him. “Do you want to stop?” you asked softly, watching as he considered it. After a moment, he shook his head. “No,” he breathed.

He pulled you in for another kiss, his hands moving to your hips, guiding them against his own. You moaned, breaking the kiss to throw your head back while Changkyun’s lips kissed down your neck. “Lie back,” he said softly and you did, lowering yourself back onto the mattress. Changkyun grabbed the sides of your shorts and slowly pulled them down, pulling your panties with them.

He maintained eye contact as he discarded your shorts, tossing them to the side. His hands rested calmly on your knees before pushing them apart gently, eyes trailing down your body until he stopped at the place where you thighs met. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Your cheeks burned as he looked at you and you wanted to move; close your legs, cover yourself, something. Changkyun brought one hand down to trace your lips coated in your arousal and you shuddered at the contact, your eyes fluttering shut as he slipped a finger past your folds to find your clit.

He watched your face as he slowly massaged in circles, enjoying the way your hips twitched and you bucked involuntarily. It wasn’t long before he had you trembling, slowly building up your orgasm. He smiled as you tossed your head side to side, whimpers and moans leaving your mouth.

“Does that feel good?” he asked in a low tone, amusement laced in his voice. ‘Was he mocking you?’

You nodded, biting into the plush skin of your bottom lip. “Mhm,” you moaned, your hips slowly rising and falling to match his ministrations. Changkyun watched in awe as you started to ride his hand, your breath coming in shallowly, uttering soft whines occasionally. He couldn’t have you coming undone so easily.

He slid his finger into your entrance, enjoying the warmth that enveloped the digit. He could only imagine how amazing you would feel around his cock. The thought of sinking his hardened length inside you had him twitching in his sweatpants. He pushed those thoughts aside for later.

Right now, he was focused on your pleasure and making you feel good. Changkyun added a second finger, slowly pumping them in and out of you. One of your hands traveled from above your head down to cup your own breast and Changkyun’s mind filled with ideas.

He slowed his hand, causing you to look up at him. “Don’t stop,” you moaned. Changkyun chuckled, enjoying the amount of control he had over you. ‘Did he ever feel like this?’ he wondered but pushed that from his mind. Even if he did, it didn’t matter. You wanted Changkyun now, not Kihyun.

“Take your shirt off,” Changkyun said, nodding at the offending article. You obliged, taking it off you easily and tossing it aside. Changkyun had to stop and appreciate the sight before him now. You lying on your back, legs spread for him in nothing but a black lace bra. You were stunning.

Changkyun resumed his earlier speed, his fingers moving in and out of you quickly, stopping inside to curl against a spot that seemed to draw out the deepest moans he’d heard yet come from you.

“Fuck,” he swore, enjoying the way you sounded, knowing it was all because of him. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, watching the rise and fall of your chest from your labored breathing as he coaxed a climax out of you.

“Please, Changkyun,” you whimpered. “I need you.”

Changkyun smiled, moving to lie on the bed, his head between your thighs. “Soon, baby, okay?” he said softly. “I promise,” he added. You opened your mouth to respond but any words were taken and replaced with a moan when you felt the tip of his tongue against your clit.

He flattened his tongue, running it up and down, over your clit repeatedly before kissing it, sucking softly. You let out a cry, your walls clenching around his fingers. He tried not to smirk as he continued, flicking his tongue against the sensitive bundle of nerves while simultaneously pumping his fingers in and out of you, coated in your juices.

You couldn’t bear it anymore. Your body shook from the build up, unshed tears in the outer corners of your eyes. You just wanted to come already. You voiced your wants to Changkyun who merely chuckled.

“You want to come that bad, baby?” he asked, watching as you nodded frantically. He curled his fingers inside you again, rubbing against the rigid spot inside your walls that had your body trembling. “Do you want to come on my fingers or tongue?” he asked. Now he was getting cocky.

You shook your head quickly. “I don’t care, just please let me come!” you whined. Changkyun chuckled again. “Okay,” he said. He didn’t speak again, instead putting his mouth to better use as he brought you to the brink of orgasm with both his mouth and fingers.

Your body reacted to the overload of sensations by shuddering before you whimpered that you were about to come. Changkyun pulled back momentarily to encourage you. “Do it,” he whispered. “Come for me.” He curled his fingers inside you, his tongue working wonders on your swollen clit, pushing you over the edge and you came with a cry of his name, your body shivering as he helped you ride out your high.

After a few moments, you felt Changkyun pull his fingers out, leaving you empty. He was only gone for a few moments before you felt the bed dip. He settled between your legs, moving them to make space. You felt the tip of his cock graze your entrance and you tried to sit up. “Wait,” you said and he paused, looking up at you with concern. “What is it? Did I do something wrong?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I should return the favor,” you said only to be met with a chuckle. “Maybe some other time,” he said. “I’d rather just be inside you right now,” he said, rubbing the tip of his dick against your slick folds. “Let me know if I hurt you,” he said, giving you a serious look. You nodded to show you understood. Changkyun slowly pushed past your lips, gliding into your wet pussy rather easily.

Or so you thought.

Once the head of his dick was inside you, he started to push further, a slight sting greeting your senses and you hissed. Changkyun stopped immediately, searching your face. “(Y/N)?” he asked. You nodded. “I’m okay,” you reassured him. “Please keep going,” you added.

Changkyun nodded and returned his attention to his length, slowly disappearing inside you. Little by little he slid in until he was fully buried inside. The throb of his member inside you made up for the feeling of emptiness earlier. Changkyun waited as your body adjust to him, feeling your walls contract around him occasionally. Finally you gave him the go ahead to move.

He held your hips in place as he slowly slid out of you until just the tip was inside before slowly pushing back in, drawing out his thrusts in an agonizing pace. “Stop teasing me,” you said after a few moments of this, causing Changkyun to laugh softly.

His grip tightened as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you at a faster speed. You moaned at the feeling of being filled, the earlier sting now replaced with a dull ache. You couldn’t be happier.

Changkyun, on the other hand was elated. He reveled in the feeling of your warm walls tightening around him as he thrust into you, a soft moan, falling past his lips as his eyes fluttered shut. It was undeniably the best feeling he’d ever experienced and being that it was you made it all the more special for him.

Your moans grew in pitch as he continued thrusting into you, the head of his cock hitting at rigid spot he’d felt earlier while fingering you. It seemed like that was your sweet spot and now that he found it, Changkyun was taking full advantage of it. He aimed for it, slamming into you harder, faster, and deeper in an effort to hit that spot, repeatedly. He wanted you to scream his name.

He wanted the whole building to know that he was the one fucking you so good. Not him.

Feeling his own orgasm drawing nearer, he focused on making you come again, his hand slid up your stomach, ghosting over your breast until it reached your neck. He softly wrapped his fingers around your throat, enjoying the way you clenched around him.

He remembered what he’d read about choking, taking care not to press against the front of your throat, only squeezing the sides, restricting the blood flow to your brain. You were still able to breathe but you head started to swim from the lack of blood to your brain, You let out a deep moan, your walls clenching around Changkyun tightly as he thrust into you, deeper than you thought possible.

He loosened his grip, allowing blood to flow once more.That didn’t stop his hips from snapping against yours though. Your entire body was hot, as if you had a fever but you knew you didn’t. You were close now. “I’m close,” you whispered. Changkyun moved his hand from your throat, sliding down your body until he pressed his thumb against your clit, massaging in time with his thrusts.

“Are you going to be a good girl,” he started, watching your face as your body started to shake, particularly your legs. “And come for me?” he added. You nodded, whimpering out a “yes.” Changkyun took this opportunity to push you just a bit further. “Yes, what?” he asked in a husky voice, his own orgasm within his reach.

You looked up at him, your face flushed, looking fucked out. You were a sight to behold. “Yes, daddy,” you breathed and that was all Changkyun needed to send you over the edge. Your second orgasm hit you like a wave, washing over you as you came on his dick with a cry of his name. Changkyun helped you ride out your high by chasing his own. He pounded into you, holding your hips against the mattress.

Not long after your second orgasm, you had your third as Changkyun was going for his. You came a third time with a whimper, begging him to stop. “It’s too much,” you panted, your body shuddering from the sensitivity of being overstimulated.

“I’m almost there,” Changkyun whispered in your ear.

He made good on his promise, and after a few more thrusts, he came with a groan, releasing into the condom he’d put on earlier. After a few shallow thrusts, he stilled, buried inside you as he panted to catch his breath.

After a few more minutes, he pulled out of you and rolled onto his back beside you, removing the condom and tying it off to toss in the trash can.

The two of you lay in silence for a few moments before he spoke. “That was incredible,” he said and you giggled, a blush forming on your face. You looked over to find him staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah,” you agreed. “It was.”

Changkyun turned his head to look at you. “I guess this means that you and Kihyun are--” he started.

“We were never a thing, Kyun. Honestly. We flirted a little but that was the extent of it. We never even kissed or held hands. He’s literally just a friend,” you said sitting up and looking at your best friend.

“I never wanted him, Kyun,” you added. “I wanted you. From the beginning, I always wanted you.”

Changkyun sat up, studying you with excited eyes. “I guess you can have me,” he said with a lopsided grin.

1K notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

Text

Survey #423

“i won’t think about you when i’m older / ‘cuz we never really had our closure”

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? Neither. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? My late grandmother's husband stayed overnight when he was driving from New York to Florida or the other way around, idr. How many long term relationships have you been in? Two. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My snake's heat lamp stays on. Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? My dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I don't think I've even heard one of her songs. Do you know your blood type? A-. Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. Have you got your period at the moment? I haven't had my period since I started TMS. It's honestly so fucking frustrating that it obviously had an effect on my body, but not my depression. I've officially finished TMS as of a few days ago and now I just feel so void of hope. Have you ever been pregnant? No. How old were you when you first went on a plane? Idr, I was a little kid. Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Not me personally, but my parents have for my education that I threw away. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life regardless. When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never been. Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Happiness. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I have not. How many bedrooms are in your house? Three. Are you smart about computers? Not really, no. Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? Yes. My sister loved them, so we have a few. Do you own a Xbox 360? No. I'm a PlayStation girl. Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? No. I'd be mortified. So, do you need a nap? I really should take one. I slept like... maybe three hours last night. I was up most of the night having a fucking life crisis. What would you rather be doing? Something fun. What sport are you the best at? I haven't touched any sort of sport since I was a teenager. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you complain a lot? Kind of, but I generally try to keep it in surveys nowadays. I'm just tired of shit. Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Ohhh, tough pick, but I've gotta say the ancient temple. Do you like fruity or minty gum? Both, really. Are you looking forward to any day of this month? Well July is practically over, so I'll answer for August. I'm looking forward to my nephew's birthday. Have you ever gotten detention? A few times for getting too many morning tardies in high school. Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Definitely. Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Powerwolf did recently. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why meerkats do not make good pets whatsoever. Do fucking not get one. I can barely fathom how it's legal in some countries. Ever cried so much you threw up? No, but I've gagged. Who is your best guy friend? Girt. What do you two do when you hang out? Mostly just watch TV and play board games. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? I dunno, really. Do you even like horror movies? I love horror movies. Do you live in the country? I wish I still did. :/ Me and Mom hate hate hate living in these suburbs. What is your favorite accent? British. Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Pepsi is gross. What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? I was literally in the psych hospital for my 21st birthday lmao. It's kind of a painful memory, but I also won't forget the love and kindness people showed me. I especially remember the friend I made there getting the lunch lady to literally go and buy me a slice of cake. Everyone also sang happy birthday to me and gaaaah I'm getting emotional. Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? That was my dad's drink of choice when he drank. Do you take a lot of pictures? Unless I have my camera and am somewhere pretty, no. What kind of face wash do you use? Water, lol. Does drama always seem to follow you? Nah. Does anybody in your family race? No. Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom. How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” Uhhh... I want to say $2 or something? I might be way off, idr. How long do you want to live with your parents? I WISH I could have moved out with an s/o already, but that's just not how life's worked out. Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop. Do you like your parents? I love them. Do you secretly like someone? It's not a secret, no. Would you ever date your best male friend? Tried that once and it didn't work out. I liked him more as like a brother. What are you currently listening to? "Better Than Me" by Hinder. I really need to turn it off, but I can't make myself. Do you want to be single? I really wish I had a partner to love and motivate me to strive to do better, but I know it's better I'm single right now. I'd just relive the Jason situation, I'm sure. I'd just drag the person down and lose them. Did you go out or stay in last night? I'm almost always at my fucking house not doing shit, so. Have you pretended to like someone? No, that sounds pretty stupid... How is your heart lately? Hurting. A lot. Are you wearing socks? I hate wearing socks and I'm in bed anyway, so no. What do people call you? Britt, mostly. Do you get stressed out easily? VERY. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What is wrong with you right now? Where the hell to begin. Do you own something from Hot Topic? A lot. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, so long as the bed is big enough to comfortably fit two of us. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. I'm certain he wants nothing to do with me. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Sadly. Did you get any compliments today? Definitely not. I look and feel like a wreck right about now. There's nothing to praise me about. Have you ever gone to a beach? Many times. What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Unless it was an edible, no. I'd do almost anything to try and make me feel better right now, even if just for a little while, but I'm unwilling to smoke anything. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? HELL no. Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Honestly, no. Do you have long nails? No; I never do because I have an awful habit of picking at them. Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. Do you generally look nice in photos? HA. Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No. What colour are your father’s eyes? They're dark brown. If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? Ozzy, duh. Name three facts about your family? We're very, very spread out geographically, some of us (in other words, me) are emotionally distant, and uh... idk. Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? Only if it was a certain person, our lives were more on track, and we were making plans for either of us to move soon. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? Probably this really long letter my mom wrote for me on my bday a couple years ago. What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I played the flute for many years, all through middle school and through much of high school. Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carve pumpkins, for sure. Do you think you’re important? I don't fucking know. Probably not. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Idk. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? *hands over thick book* Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. My hands are way, way too shaky to ever accomplish that. Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. What was the first thing you ate today? Well, I was seriously depression-eating last night, way past midnight, and had a peanut butter sandwich. If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? LET'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT RIGHT NOW. If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? "Falling apart." I've lost direction, motivation, strength, hope, just everything. What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? I need a fucking shower so bad that it's embarrassing. I just can't move. I have no energy, emotionally or physically. I just can't make myself do it. Is there anything that you wish you could take back? So, so badly. What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Actually reaching goals. Losing weight. Healing my legs. Knowing with certainty that I wasn't emotionally abusive to Jason. Moving out of this town and back into the country. Financial stability. A job I thoroughly enjoy. I could go on, but let's not. If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? God, let me take back shit I said in that fucking letter to you-know-who. It's so hard to believe I once thought it perfectly justified and realistic. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't have any plans of changing the style in the foreseeable future. I want to color it BADLY. To just SOMETHING. Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I'm like, a lightning-fast typist. Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ No; my best friend in HS was, though. Her GPA was fucking insane. I was in the top percentile, though, so I was up there. What the hell happened to that girl. How many drugs are in your system? If we're including prescriptions, a whole hell of a lot. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Jack shit. Like usual. Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. Do you call anyone baby? Excluding my pets, no. What’s your current mood? lol if you've gotten this far reading, you can make an educated guess. Do you think you are a good person? Bro I just don't know. What were you doing before filling out this survey? I was playing WoW. How late did you stay up last night? Like, 4:30 or so. When was the last time you cried really hard? I wanna say like a week ago? Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. It still badly needs a trim, though.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''better than me'' by hinder

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drifttosleep · 4 years ago

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[ My Jonas Brothers : Chasing Happiness Experience ]

introduction: if you know me, you know how much if a Jonas Brothers fan i am. yes, the first band i ever REALLY got into was The Beatles. but the Jonas Brothers was a boyband i really did fall in love with. we all had that one band from our childhood that switched everything up. mine were the Jonas Brothers. the way the directioners loved One Direction was my love for the Jonas Brothers. when i say “the boys,” i mean Nick, Kevin, and Joe. they’re my “the boys.” if that makes sense.

history: i remember the day i got into them. i was 10 years old and it was during the summertime. i had just finished watching ‘taking 5.’ a movie about the click five. the girls in the movie had posters and cut outs of the click five on their wall from posters and magazines. at that age, i was already collecting TigerBeat, Popstar!, J-14 magazines. i was too plugged in to the pop culture and the teeny bopper life. my dad was supportive. i was somewhat, inspired, when i watched that movie and checked out my magazines. i found the jonas brothers. i knew OF them and the song SOS and When You Look Me In The Eyes but nothing else. i had a personal computer in my room back then and newly plugged in internet connection. it started with music videos, and then the stupid videos they had on their yt channel, and i just couldn’t stop watching their videos. i watched all their live chats and interviews. i fell in love LIKE THAT. it was the first i ever obsessed about a boyband like this. a boyband in MY LEAGUE, you know what i mean? i obsessed over hannah montana and lizzie mcguire. but it wasn’t LIKE THIS. i grabbed my magazines and starting taping the Jonas posters on the walls. my routine was to watch all their videos everyday. i even went as far as reading fanfiction on youtube. YES. fanfiction USED to be on YOUTUBE. and that’s when crushes began. my bias was joe, at first, of course. then i slowly crept onto liking nick more. until he was my ACTUAL favorite. nick was my first love, i’m claiming it. the boy had me feeling ALL SORTS OF THINGS. the boy had me WRITING AT 11.

influence: they were a huge influence on me. other than taylor swift and my dad getting me to pick up a guitar and learning how to play it, the Jonas Brothers wanted me to fulfill the dream. their influence on me was HUGE. it was so big that they were my first fashion icons. i broke gender stereotypes (at least in my circle) at the age of 11, you guys. i wore skinny jeans, converse, collared shirts and neckties all the time. they had me wearing denim and corduroy and my parents were so into me being into fashion at that age cause they were all about that in their youth. i mastered dressing like a guy at the age of 11. it just became a thing growing up. cause that’s where i’m most comfortable. i remember when the JONAS show came out on disney channel and the first episode was of nick having a love interest, i cried.

other facts:

i collected all kinds of jonas brothers paraphernelia as a child.

other than the magazines, i had merch. i remember begging my mom to get me jonas brothers merch from their actual website. when she finally gave in, i was ecstatic.

i had a jonas brothers t shirt and a necklace (it was a guitar pick with their logo on it)

i also had a jonas brothers mp3 player that i bought when i was in tampa.

i’ve been to their first concert in the philippines. I REMEMBER HOW I TOLD MY PARENTS. i ran to them and said “THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE COMING HERE” and i didn’t even have to ask cause they already knew.

my bedroom walls were FILLED with their posters. i had over 150 posters on my walls.

i cut out their photos from magazines and covered my notebooks and pens with them. i sold a couple at school, too.

you caNT BELIEVE HOW MUCH I FREAKED OUT WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT CAMP ROCK. when it came out in the states, my dad bought a copy of the dvd and i was SO SO SO EXCITED. that’s why i love home made spaghetti so much because it was the meal i was eating when i watched camp rock in my old bedroom for the first time. i squealed half the time.

them being christian played such a big part in my life because my mom was a strict-ass hardcore christian. and since they wore purity rings, my mom got me a purity ring, too. at 11. which now, seems rather stupid. for me, at least.

nick jonas & the administration is still one of my favorite albums. HE REALLY DO BE MAKIN ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY. for real though.

i really watched Married To Jonas, Kevin and Danielle’s reality show. it was NOT great but i watched it.

i even watched some of nick’s movies and i didn’t like any of them really but i enJOYED NICK’S SCREEN TIME

i did not really stray away from loving them. but i did turn into a teenager. i got into other things and gained a different circle of friends. it was different, okay? i couldn’t just be in love with a rock star anymore. HAHAHA. there were real life boys i kissed now. but still, i did not obsess over anything like that ever again.

the break up: i was in high school when they broke up. and even if i had not been keeping tabs on them and watching their every release, i cried really really fucking hard when they announced their break up. i cried so hard that i missed school that day. i was heart broken. and it might not make sense because they are brothers and they’ll really ~never~ break up, it still hurt.

when i found out about Chasing Happiness, i was stoked. of course, i already knew they had returned back together as the Jonas Brothers. after all the experimenting with other things, they really did return to their roots.

reaction about chasing happiness:

oh my GOD

BABY JONAS BROTHERS :(

FUCK. 6 MINUTES INTRO PLAYING

baby nick in les mis :(

okAY SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY

okay so the purity rings were a fucking joke i dont feel so guilty about it anymore

niley :( lowkey cried to niley at a young age but whatever

fuCK EVERYONE WHO MADE FUN OF KEVIN. HE’S AMAZING

please be mine :(

crying

joe and nick making fun of kevin on the phone with danielle

joe calling danielle “kevin’s future wife” :(

JUST FRIENDS :(

THE NICK J SHOW

camp rock :(

more crying really

YEAR 3000 :(

okay so basically, it was a ride of emotions.

it really was though. i also felt like i time travelled. LITERALLY. it felt like i was in my old room again watching the Jonas Brothers on old YouTube. you know. before google bought the damn thing. but for real, it felt that way. it felt like i was reconnecting with my old self, too. the 10 year old me.

no, wait. even better. it felt like i was reuniting with old friends. the scene when the 3 of them were just drinking and reminiscing and confessing about the old times was so intimate that i felt like i was there. everything they talked about (except for hating each other and how they ACTUALLY broke up), i knew about. they were my whole life back then, really. it really felt like a reunion. like them getting back together meant we were getting back together. the love for the Jonas Brothers. my fangirling over them. god, it sounds so cheesy when i say it out loud. but it really does feel like that.

it was so familiar and so foreign to me at the same time. they talked about everything they used to never talk about back then. they just let it out in the open, really. and i saw how much they’ve grown. and i saw how much i’ve grown. how i am far from who i was at 10 years old.

but when they sang ‘please be mine’ along with the old video of them singing it, i felt myself reconnecting with my younger self. i felt her smile at me and hold my hand telling me that the good will always resurface. and fuck yeah, i got that out of the Jonas Brothers. they’re the part of me that remains innocent. they’re a part of me that remains untouched and untampered with. because my heart was whole when i loved them first. and i think it’ll remain that way.

it hit me harder than i thought it would. and i knew it would hit me. the documentary, i mean. it was beautiful. downright, beautiful. they’re a huge part of who i am today. and i am so so so proud of that.

#honey

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saltykong · 4 years ago

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Hello All! ❁ I hope you have been well and that you have been staying safe~ This is going to be one LONG message, but I hope it reaches you ♥

I started this Tumblr blog in the height of my struggles in life. Not knowing what I wanted to do, failing at what I thought I was meant to do, and even finding myself becoming more lonesome with no way out. That is when KPOP came in. I think it’s safe to say many of us came to KPOP whether we were in a similar internal struggle or even wanted to escape to something that sounded and felt new to what we knew growing up. That is exactly what it was for me. KPOP was used as a means of escape from the troubles I was having. Through those troubles, I met VIXX. These six boys, having a sound like no other. Their concepts, instrumentals, outfits, all of it was always heavily in-tune with their theme, creating some of the most amazing discography, music videos and stages I have ever seen. VIXX aren’t concept kings for nothing. In that, my bias became Hongbin. A sassy, and sometimes blunt but well-meaning individual that was, unfortunately, often ignored by his company on his musical talents. Instead he was placed in the box of, “visuals.” This isn’t a bad thing but to him, he wanted to be more than just a “face.” He was also the least popular and most ignored member when I joined the fandom. But he didn’t let this stop him and continually pushed to be seen. It was this determination and drive that I wanted to support. Hongbin was the underdog and in my own struggles, I wanted to be one too. I created what can jokingly be called a “shrine” to my comfort kpop boy. I wanted him to be seen more by the fandom in someway and so I picked up learning to make gifs, understanding Photoshop, and even learning basic HTML. In fact, because of this blog, I found a love and passion for web development and coding. It was something I liked to do, even if I wasn’t that good at it. It was hard but I was able to switch gears from a Biology degree to one that was Computer Science focused, despite many in my life saying that wasn’t possible. With that, I found a new path with new struggles but I persevered through it, just as Hongbin had been doing with each new single and album. 2019 was arguably Hongbin’s year. Coming off from the high that was the Eau de VIXX album and Scentist single, Hongbin started to stream on Twitch because he loves video games and wanted to share that. He also was in a drama and on a variety show. Not to mention that he saved Summer 2019 with “COOL LOVE,” a collaborative effort with MONSTA X’s Hyungwon. I wanted 2019 to be my year as well and worked hard at it. Simultaneously, I created projects, graduated university with a CS degree and got a job within the first three months. I had been fortunate in my endeavors. But with more responsibilities, this blog in recent years has been lacking content. I haven’t made anything on here in two years and I feel bad about that. Every time I want to come back, I don’t ever have a drive to do it. There may be a chance that I feel like I’ve outgrown Tumblr. I apologize for thinking like this. Now let’s talk about what has happened in recent months. Hongbin, yet again, found himself in a messy situation. There is a cycle when it comes to Hongbin where he will do something that is unfavorable, he will leave on hiatus, and then he will comeback. Hongbin stans will know, we go MONTHS without hearing from him or seeing him. It’s an unfortunate situation to be in but I truly believe Hongbin stans are some of the strongest people in this fandom because of it. This recent situation was not what we were expecting. Hongbin ended up in a bad situation again and had been gone since March. He finally popped up again two weeks ago, much to everyones surprise. This was a moment of happiness that was short lived due to the following news that arrived. Hongbin would be leaving VIXX. It feels unnatural to even be typing that sentence but here we are. I don’t know what happened to come to this decision but I felt fatigued from that news. I couldn’t concentrate on work, I talked to everyone about how I was feeling, and even took a brief hiatus from social media. It seems dramatic to feel like this about someone I don’t know but again, he is the reason I worked as hard as I did to be were I am. I’m sure many of you understand this emotion. I came to the resolution that, although it hurts, if Jellyfish wasn’t going to help him or promote him, it was probably best he leaves. He would definitely become popular on Twitch. But the moment I had resolved that, he came in with more news that would break the wall. He would be enlisting as early as today, August 17-18th 2020. This one did not hurt as much because I believed it would be best he go early to get it out of the way. Him leaving VIXX was unseen however. Hongbin stans have had it the hardest, I hope you all, even non-Bean stans, are taking care of yourselves and doing your best to stay positive. I guess with this extremely long note I wanted to say that I don’t think I will be active on this blog for a while. I’m not on Tumblr everyday anymore and with Hongbin leaving VIXX, content won’t be as easily available or gif-able. I’ve grown a little tired as well and I truly don’t think I have enough space in my computer anyways. I will leave my blog open so that if anyone wants to see some interesting gifsets with Hongbin or even if a new baby STARLIGHT comes across content or is seeking it, it’s there. The only thing I hope people can protect my gifs from being stolen. Many gif-makers have this issue and I’m not any special to be asking of this but I don’t think people understand how long and arduous the process to create them are. We sacrifice a lot of computer space and run our systems hard to start up our programs to make them. Not to mention we hunt for videos constantly and even sacrifice sleep to be able to get performances live sometimes. Then there is the compliance with Tumblrs gif limits to take into account. Some times there is a lack of creativity or individualism in content, so we constantly brainstorm to give the fandom something fresh for their own blogs. It’s extremely tedious to make them but the satisfaction of not only creating them, but having people interact with them and share them, makes the process worth it. You don’t know, but every single person that reblogs my gifs, I tend to go to that persons page to look at their interests and read their tags. Thank you to those that write in the tags of my posts, I find enjoyment from reading them. If I can say, I trust my gifs with STARLIGHT fandom, please don’t let them be stolen or used unnecessarily. This is my gift to you. ❤ As for gif-making, the one thing I regret is that I didn’t finish a particular series I was working on. That doesn’t mean I won’t come back to finish it however, just not right at this moment. As for mutuals, much of them migrated off the platform at the same time as me. But I just want to thank them and the STARLIGHTS who were especially close to me and lent an ear when all I wanted to do was talk about Hongbin. I’ve made some of the greatest friends through VIXX. Thank you for being there. The VIXX fandom gave me something to work for, to look forward to, and what could be improved. Coming on to Tumblr after so long, I am so happy that my efforts and the efforts of other blogs that were there when I was, made more people become Hongbin fans and even birthed new and talented gif-makers. Thank you for being the next bunch to push it forward. Lastly, thank you to all the people that follow me. I did my best to interact with all of you as much as I could, and even now, thank you for supporting my work. You are the reason I do what I do, and I hope it inspires you in some way too. I wish Hongbin a safe military stint and hope he comes back with a fresh and new perspective on what he wants to do. Thank you Hongbin for what you have inspired me and others to do. You can now follow me on Twitter if you still want to see what I’m up to, there are changes coming there as well but I hope you do follow. I will always support VIXX, even as a five-man group but, VIXX will always be SIX to me. Thank you for everything, I hope to come back to this blog one day to create again.

#personal #this is LONG omggg but its important #sorry if it feels a bit off here and there i suck at writing LOL

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inthispagewestanikon · 4 years ago

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Special Scenario - MINO “Fiancé” part 2

I’m back with part 2, it took long enough lol but I hope you enjoy <33

Word count: 2.202

Mino’s POV

After I left the building and stared as she went her way I felt as if the world had stopped completely, maybe I haven’t even fully processed what had happened inside that elevator; it’s like I’ve waited for this moment for so long and now that it happened I don’t even know what to do with myself.

I saw a taxi pull over and a lady came out so I rushed to get to it before it took off. As I sat down in the car and the driver asked me where we were going I kind of stuttered before the adress to my studio just rolled out of my mouth.

The ride wasn’t long and it wasn’t expensive. I got off and entered the building where my studio was located, I greeted the doorman and entered yet another elevator, as soon as I did the memories rushed back and it hit me...I had kissed my ex who I’ve been in love since my school days and in a few days she is going to be someone else’s wife. I laughed out of dispair, I remember this one night specifically which we were at a park and we were laying on the bench and we told each other that we’d get married for sure when I made enough money as a rapper...at least one part of it came true.

I got off the elevator and walked to my door, typed the passcode and finally was in my safe haven, I could now be myself and just let every and any feeling pour out. I saw a pen and doodled over a paper going through the scene one more type and the word 'fiancé’ kind of come out in the paper and I added ‘my’ in front of it and chuckled at how childish that look so I said the words out loud and a depressed feel came along, it was funny and sad.

I started working on the beats I was producing for my new album but for the past 2 hours I have been doing that all of them sounded like trash to me. I stretched my arms and the paper came into my field of vision, the words “my fiancé” written down and a melody hit me.

I stood up and went over to the piano playing some lines trying to give life to what was in my head, when I got the base down I went back to the computer and started adjusting and adding more things. I came across this old folk song and it was like it tied everything together, so I sampled it and worked it into the base from the piano.

After a few hours I had the whole melody down and I loved it, now it was time to figure out with the lyrics. As I was getting ready to go into that I got a call, Zico’s name popped up in the screen and I picked up.

“Oh, yes Hyung..What’s up?” I said.

“Mino-ya, what are you doing?” He asked.

“At the studio” I replied and he laughed.

“Yah, go out and get some air, you’re there everyday” I laughed at his advice.

“Look who’s saying that” I laughed more “Ah, that was funny...yes hyung I’ll do that”

“You better!” He warned in a joking tone “I’m hanging up now, bye”

“Bye hyung, take care” I said.

Even though I’d love to do exactly what he told me to I just couldn’t stop now, I was in the zone and don’t want to get out of it and I’m sure he is the one who’d 100% understand that so I went back to my lyrics.

On the same doddled paper I started by writing random words, the process of creating lyrics was harder than the beats because it hss to rhyme, it has to go well with the melody and it need to make sense whilst the beat is more of a feeling.

Two hours went by and all I had were doddles and the same two words. The sky was dark and I knew I had been in there for too long. Maybe it was time for fresh air and some food, I realized I hadn’t eaten since I left the restaurant earlier.

I left the studio room and made my way to the elevator while stretching my back, after hours sitting it sure was aching. I pressed the button and the doors opened, I entered and was about to go on my phone, just when I unlocked the scene hit me and the sentence “stop playing around and just be with me” came into my mind and the doors were about to close so I frantically pressed the button to open the door and ran back to my studio.

I sat down and picked up the pen writing down that sentence and from then on the rest just rolled out. My handwriting looked like shit because my thoughts were moving faster than my hands could move but in like 15 minutes I had the lyrics down.

“Knock knock I miss you But I can’t have you (So, sad) Drip drip I pour out my tears But you still hide your fine figure (You’re so mean) You’re friendly to others, but chic towards me Where’s all the stars in Seoul Oh, in your eyes When you’re with him you’re in Dystopia If you follow me it’s Utopia [Hook] Pretty woman Wo wo you’re so elegant I look at you from all angles, and you’re still so pretty I’ve just realized, my woman Woman, my blue bird Hide well my lady (My lady) I can see your hair, where are you Where are you? I can’t find you, come out (Come out, come out wherever you are) I’ll go wherever you are, I’ll go [Verse 2] Shh don’t stay a word, let’s just run away Stop playing around and just be with me During the summer I just want to walk in your eyes We’re both risqué, risky risky oh I miss your body, and I’m lonely Help feed this thirsty dog Don’t be embarrassed like a coiled up cobra, alright? [Hook] Pretty woman Wo wo you’re so elegant I look at you from all angles, and you’re still so pretty I’ve just realized, my woman Woman, my blue bird Hide well my lady (My lady) I can see your hair, where are you Where are you? I can’t find you, come out (Come out, come out wherever you are) I’ll go wherever you are, I’ll go [Verse 3] You’re a pie in the sky Woo, I swallow my spit You’re my main, I’m your chewing gum Woo, let’s boogie on & on We’re on fire, I can finally breathe, I’m all for you Beautiful you’re pretty, pretty

Come out come out wherever you are I’ll, go Come out come out wherever you are I’ll go wherever you are I’ll go

Now all that’s left is recording the lyrics and add it on top of the beat.

I started recording it but it wasn’t sounding right. I took several breaks and walked in circles around the room trying to figure out the tone, nothing. I listented to the beat again and again, but still it wasn’t right. Honestly, this wasn’t just a song, I was sending a message, it was my answer to this fucking marriage and I wanted her to get it as soon as she listened to it.

I sat there in deep thought fow a while and I started mumbling the words until I finally got how the chorus would sound, so I started from there and the excitment from that part being just right led me to recording the rest of the song.

I was almost 7AM when the demo was complete. I hadn’t had any sleep, but the song was ready and I wanted to get it to YG as soon as I could. I didn’t care I looked like shit, I just got inside a taxi and head over to YG building.

I went up to the producers room and told them I had something good for the next realease. So I played the demo on my phone and by the look on their faces, I did great.

“Mino ya, this is a single, really” one of the producers said.

“Yah let’s take it to president Yang” The other one added.

“wah, I’m so glad you liked it, I worked on it all night” I smiled.

“Yeah, we can see” We all laughed.

They then called in his office to schedule a meeting and while that was being taken care of by the secretaries we all went to the cafeteria to eat something and a meal was indeed much need because I was running on coffee since yesterday.

“Yah mino, you need to watch your health” one of them said as we were eating.

“yes you need to listen to your hyungs” the other added.

“yes yes” I said while bowing in apology.

We finished the meal and were hanging out at their studio room when the president called us up to his office.

Once we got there the receptionist said we could enter the room as he was already waiting for us.

“Oh, Mino! How you’ve been?” YG greeted me.

“Hello! I am good” I bowed.

“Glad to hear! So, I’ve heard from these guys that you have something good for me, let’s hear it” He said and I immediately pulled out my phone and played the song.

The room was quiet for about 30 seconds before YG gave that smile he has when he likes something and I could finally breathe again.

“This is good material, Mino, really” He said “That’s a single” He complemented and I smiled a bit flustered with the compliment.

“Thank you, Presindent” I bowed.

“Of course, few adjustments here and there and it’ll top the charts for sure” YG remarked “Actually, let’s release a full album” After he said that my soul left my body and came back, a full album? Is he serious? Has he gone insane?

“P-President, is this a joke?” I asked innocently.

“Of course not” He laughed “You’re surprised, right? Well, you’re one of our greatest artists, you always bring good material both solo and for WINNER, so I want to give you the chance. Do you think you can do it?” He finished and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course I can! Thank you so much, Presidente, for this opportunity I promise I’ll do good” I bowed and was sincerely moved by the trust he was putting in me. I have waited for this chance for a long time and knowing the President of the company trusts me enough to realeae a full album is amazing.

We left the room after chatting for some more about group activities and producing for others artists and I was on cloud 9.

(...)

The next two months went by so quickly, I was in meeting after meeting, recording after recording, everything to get this album to perfection. There was going to be 12 songs that I, myself, composed and produced.The work I put into this was immense I couldn’t wait to put it out there for my fans to listen and for her. I also filmed a music video and the preparation was exhausting, but this meant more than just awards and charts, I kept thinking that if I couldn’t relay this message to her with words I’d do it through art, which is the one thing that might have kept me from sinking low after the news that the one and only woman I’ve ever loved will soon carry another guy’s last name.

(...)

The wedding was a month away now and the single realese date was due to two weeks before the cerimony. I peeked at the date engraved on that envelope “10/12/2018″ I still couldn’t wrap my head around it and even if I buried myself in work that kiss was what started it all. The questions in my head kept me up at night and she was all I could think about. “Is this how this it’s going to end? Is this a “the one that got away situation”? What if she still loves me and is waiting for me to say something? If so, what can I say?” It was like this all day everyday and I got absolutely no answer whatsoever.

(...)

26/11/2018 came and the music video was released, I was pumped but the whole time I keep thinking about what she was thinking and then an idea came to my mind. I grabbed my phone and copied the link to the video and searched through my contacts until I found who I was looking for, hers.

I sent the link along with no context, if I did all this so my art could speak for me then there were no words that I could say to her and after all the years we’ve known each other, I know she’ll get it, she always gets it because she, like no one else, gets me.

Sooo, it took me long enough so I made up for it with a long part and I didn’t want to say anything but there is room for a part 3 idk you guys let me know...

Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing <33 I promise not to take 2 years to update this lol,

Ana.

#song mino #song mino scenarios #mino scenarios #mino #mino winner #winner scenarios #winner #kpop #yg scenarios #kpop scenarios #zico #Khiphop #Krapper #ikon #ikon scenarios #yg family #yg winner

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