#soul eater funny

[hinatashoyoumytits]

if i had a nickel for every time i fell in love with a boy that swallowed evil entities, i’d have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

[jade-len]

i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.

picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.

it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.

and then he gets to the sword.

demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.

but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.

when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.

the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.

and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.

the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.

luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.

instead, he hears this:

"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."

but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.

"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."

"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."

"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."

"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"

somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.

weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.

xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.

it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.

sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.

maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.

maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.

"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.

hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."

xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.

...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.

(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)

[liquidstar]

Say what you want about manga deviation, but it's kinda hilarious of Soul Eater to set up Stein/Mari for the entire latter half of the show only to have no proper resolution, and instead have Stein's last appearance be him doing the Hays Code Metaphorical Homoerotic Cigarette Touch with Spirit. Like. Okay???? Sure

[troythecatfish]

Great to have you back! :)

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Saw a picrew and decided to be cringe

[apotelesmaa]

List of underrated moments from soul eater that I think about a lot:

- when Liz was trying to flirt with a guy and Patty and Black Star immediately ran up and pretended to be her children to ruin it

- death the kid electing to do sick skateboard tricks while in the middle of a gun fight because to not do so would “be disrespectful”

- ox ford receiving a near lethal electric shock and maka and black star make fun of him as he lies on the floor because they both hate him

- everyone using Jackie as a camp fire

- the twin peaks reference demon in soul’s brain doing a weird and funky little dance for like zero reason

- black star bleeding out for attempting to cheat on the exam and using his blood to sign his autograph on the board

- soul inexplicably having access to a little moped wherever he goes I don’t even think he has a drivers license

- black star not cleaning up the library and tsubaki electing to just do it for funsies

- “black star this is water that will suck your soul out of your body so just stick your finger in it to start out” “ok!” (Proceeds to stick his entire arm into it)

- maka getting in trouble for abusing her dad’s death scythe privileges… to check out a book

- (people who can see souls) vs (people who can’t) in dtk vs black star and soul

- “I don’t think you’re supposed to cut open an endangered animal professor stein” “I need to do it before they go extinct”

- “when I saw you and your wife I thought there’s a couple that will last forever” “we actually got divorced” “I know :)”

- the entire bit spirit and lord death did with medusa in that kid’s body

- crona wiping out an entire village of innocent people and maka still going “I can fix them”

[lilacmornings]

cromaka sunset hike :3

[suchaspookyginger]

ppl who call professor stein from soul eater "middle aged" are doing it for haha giggles, right? y'all know he's only like 29-31 (ish) throughout the whole series, right?

[pantacotta]

I did BIG JAKT SOUL HEHE

Did a Soul Eater collab with @izfaish ❤️

Check it out here !!

[apotelesmaa]

I like to imagine there’s at least one huge nerd at kamiyama in their third year and they’re always studying to get the best grades like really hitting the books & taking classes outside of school but they continually get the second highest scores and they’re seething with rage about it because the only person outdoing them academically is that purple fuck who never pays attention in class, is put in detention every week for blowing shit up and brings his whimsical ass gadgets to school. & he doesn’t even care about his status as the most academically talented kid in the grade. They’re planning on going into medical school or some other STEM field and he’s going into the arts.

[eyenaku]

maka ‼️‼️

[memethebum]

It’s so funny seeing ppl talk about the SE fandom being dead in the main tag whenever some new merch or other shit comes out but it’s even funnier this time BC WE GOT A WHOLE FANDOM EVENT GOING ON