#sorta? not in a shippy way tho

[mothman-can-write]

hi !!! i saw u said you were open for prompts, i mean this is kinda less of a prompt really, but like i loved that blackhill mission transcript thing you did a while ago and would be really cool to see some more stuff in the same vein ig ! but also maybe something like a kinda blackhill first meeting kinda thing idk !! i just love your work tho ! you really have the ability to make me feel all the emotions

OOOOO i just thought of this whilst writing this but maybe something like with clint teasing nat ab having like feelings for maria or something ?? idk i just love ur writing ! sorry these are kinda shitty hahah

NGL I took this prompt and mangled it in my hands. I heard first meeting and my brain was immediately like well that could go seventeen thousand different ways, so I sorta mashed in Clint's teasing to go along with it and made it a little more suggestive than outright shippy. Realistically, I think if Natasha is only meeting Maria for the first time, she's probably still in a place where she's not totally open to such self indulgent things as having a crush

Also, this isn't a mission transcript but I'd love to do more of them that one was really fun! I just don't really have any good ideas for the sort of things they'd have to talk about in the field besides dying haha

ANYWAY enough rambling, though you're all familiar with my inability to shut up these days. ~3k under the cut of Clint being a ballache and nat being sceptical but gay

The only person that doesn’t treat Natasha like she’s a project – or a live wire –  is Clint. He’d had his fair share of looking at her with those careful eyes, something behind them that made her teeth itch in her gums like some trained dog. He doesn’t do that so much anymore, not unless she’s in a particular state and doing a very bad job at hiding it. She likes him, she thinks. He might be one of the first people in her entire life that she can truly say she likes. 

Naturally, she finds herself in his quarters more often than her own. She lays on his bed as he works on something probably explosive enough to kill them both if he sneezes, and she ignores the pip of her emails as she braids a small strip of hair under her ear. She’s bored, if she’s honest, but she doesn’t want to waste her first free morning of the past fortnight on something so trivial as emails. Or helping Clint. 

“You not gonna answer her?” he says without looking up from his work. He holds it close to his face, something far too small in his tweezers. 

Natasha’s fingers pause in untangling her braid. “How do you know who it is?” 

He still doesn’t turn in his seat, matter of fact when he speaks. “You have a different tone for Hill.” 

“How did you figure that out?” She tries not to scowl at him, but she still isn’t used to feeling so see-through. Quite frankly, she’d like to be as opaque as possible, but she seems to have grown rather attached to someone with x-ray vision. 

Clint puts his miniature contraption down and turns to her at last. She’s not fond of the smile on his face as he leans over the back of his chair. “You’re not the only spy on the ship. Also, you weren’t trying very hard to hide it.” 

“Her emails are usually more important,” Natasha argues, not quite sure why she feels the need to defend herself on it. 

Clint grins ever wider. “I never asked why. I just thought you had a massive crush on her.” 

Natasha scowls fully this time. “I’ve never met her.” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know what’s in those emails.” 

“Shut up.” 

She reaches for her phone anyway and pointedly ignores the way Clint watches her. The email is much the same as they always are, telling her about meetings and progress and such. She’s overtly professional in every one, but now that she’s thinking about it, Natasha likes the words she uses – just slightly like she enjoyed reading dictionaries as a child. Very, very rarely, Maria will let something slip in her emails that is almost like humour, and Natasha doesn’t tell Clint that she actually does enjoy receiving emails from her just for the fact that she feels a little special when that happens. She’s heard the rumours; she knows not to expect giggles and grins when it comes to the Assistant Director. 

In the end, she doesn’t bother to respond to the email anyway and Clint has already turned back to his work. “Not in the mood to sext her back?” 

She scowls at the back of his head. “It sounds like Laura needs to watch her back.” 

“Oh, god,” he laughs. “Gross. Absolutely not. Not my type.” 

“What makes you think she’s mine?” 

“You need someone to match your weirdness.” 

Natasha wishes she had something to throw at him. She won’t admit that she intrigues her in small ways. She doubts she’s any different from every other CEO and government lead in the world, but some small part of her feels thankful to her faceless emails. She could’ve easily overridden Clint’s choice, could’ve had her put down before she could even think to beg for forgiveness. But she’d given her a chance, and she’d kept in contact despite her supposed overbooked schedule every day since. Maria held her life in her hands at one point, and she’d given her another shot at it. 

Despite everything, Natasha still doesn’t sleep well. Or, rather, because of everything, she supposes. One good month doesn’t erase a lifetime of bad – and she’s really a little hesitant to say that this month has even been good in many senses of the word. She wonders if the nights will ever get easier on her with time, or if she’s stuck with these hours of restlessness and sweat for the rest of her life. It’s not a nice thing to think about, and it doesn’t really do all that much to distract her from the shadows that still play behind her eyelids or the way the shapes of the room still seem to swim around the edges. So, she swings her legs over the side of her bed and scrubs at her face with her hands. She can appreciate, at the very least, that she isn’t handcuffed to her bed here. Somehow, that had been a hard thing to get used to. She still sleeps with one arm by the headboard. 

There aren't many things to do at this hour. Clint has told her countless times that she’s perfectly welcome to pester him at any time of the night if it would make her feel even minutely better. He says he understands, and she believes him enough from the way his past lines his own face, but it doesn’t make it any easier to put into practice. 

She doesn’t have a plan as she steps out into the corridors. She dresses like she’s going to the gym on the off chance that she might be able to sneak into it and punch something until she’s sweaty for reasons more tangible. She wishes the firing range was usable at this hour, but she’s sure that’s much less subtle. Still, there are some nightmares you can only really feel better by shooting at. Maybe she’ll bat her eyelashes into an hour or so at the targets tomorrow. 

She passes the odd agent as she trails around the corridors and considers that the ship never really sleeps entirely. There’s always someone on the night shift, always someone pottering around with something. She thinks it would be nice to work when it’s so quiet. Maybe she should ask about changing her hours. It might be a little soon. 

The gym isn’t so far from her quarters, and by the time she reaches it her shirt still feels sticky at her back and her stomach still feels like it’s alive in her ribcage. Her hopes are low enough to limbo as she presses her hand to the door, and she could almost sigh with relief when the door opens easily. She’s not against breaking in, but she likes to think she’s been doing a pretty good job of building a better reputation lately. Maybe not socially, but Maria’s emails haven’t managed to sound short lately – not since the last time she’d bypassed what she maintains was a criminally simple encryption on one of Clint’s jobs. 

The gym is utterly silent at this time of the morning, which is entirely unsurprising. She doubts anyone else sensible gets out of bed for another hour or two, let alone starts their training regime. Generally, agents are allowed the privilege of breakfast before they’re worked to the bone. Natasha’s never been a fan of food so early in the morning. 

She doesn’t really know when she fell out of the habit of scanning each room on this ship like someone will be waiting to haul her out of it, and she blames it firmly on her lack of sleep and nightmare slurred thoughts when she doesn’t notice the other body in the gym until it’s too late. 

“I did wonder,” someone says, and Natasha’s attention snaps to one of the benches on the far side, half covered from the entrance. 

It takes Natasha an almost embarrassingly drawn out moment to place her features, and she’s sure she only half succeeds in hiding her surprise into an intrigued eyebrow. The Assistant Director didn’t really strike her as the type to be in the gym when everyone is supposed to be sleeping. 

“Wonder what?” she asks instead of every other question that gnaws at her head. She stays firmly planted in the middle of the room. 

“Who would come in at this time.” 

Oh. She’s not wondering about Natasha. She doesn’t really know what that feels a mote disappointing. She hates it when Clint asks how she’s sleeping. Maybe she just doesn’t like lying to him. 

“I thought it would be empty.” 

Maria places her water bottle beside her on the bench and makes absolutely no move to stand up yet. Somehow, Natasha finds it unnerving, even if she’s taller here. “It usually is,” she says simply. 

Her eyes bore into her in a way that makes the back of her neck crawl. Something about her says that she’s calculating, that she’s looking at Natasha and breaking her down into little bite sized pieces. Natasha has never liked being dissected. Maria’s eyes are very blue. 

“Do you usually spend your mornings here?” she asks, if only to stop Maria from burning holes into her skull and reading her thoughts directly. 

It works, in the way that her gaze flicks away for the briefest moment before pinning her again in that same cool tone. “I guess you could call this morning.” 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” 

Maria’s eyes soften ever so slightly around the corners, and Natasha would almost call it a squint. “I’ve made a bit of a habit at this point, yes.”

She almost seems reluctant to admit it, and Natasha can’t help the way she wants to pick this woman apart. She has always liked puzzles, and people are just some of the more complex the world has to offer. She thinks she understands the rumours a little more now, even through this uncanny meeting. She wonders if Maria feels her own searching gaze as intently. 

Maria stands at last, and Natasha had almost forgotten how tall she is. She thinks she preferred it when she was sitting. “Don’t let me stop you,” she says, and Natasha is silently thankful for the way that answers her question. Again, not that she wouldn’t break the rules. It’s just much harder to make an excuse when the Assistant Director is the one who catches you. 

“I would’ve expected the AD to send me back to my quarters,” she notes, as forward as ever when it gets her information. She’ll admit this woman seems to be intriguing. She’s curious as to just why she’s indulging her so far. 

Maria’s expressions are all very small, mere suggestions of emotions that only make Natasha want to pick her apart. “That would make me more of a hypocrite than I already am,” she says simply, almost smiling. “Are you getting on okay?” she asks instead , and her eyes are on her like she’s deciphering her again. She’s closer now, making direct eye contact, and Natasha holds it like a game. “Besides the obvious, of course.” 

Natasha tries not to scowl. God, does she hate when people pretend like they know her. “What’s the obvious?” 

Maria raises one eyebrow ever so slightly, her expression caught somewhere to amusement. “Did the Red Room have you in the routine of training at four in the morning?” 

“Sometimes.” They both know that’s not the reason that she’s here, as much as Natasha wishes Maria didn’t. 

Her eyes are almost soft. Almost like she truly cares about her. Natasha doesn’t like to let herself believe the sort of things that might cost her later. “Half of the people on this ship struggle with it, Romanoff,” she says, nearly gentle in the silence around them. “You don’t have to be ashamed of it.” 

She can almost imagine her setting a heavy hand on her shoulder as she says it, though Maria remains in her own space. She’s still slightly too close for what Natasha is used to however, and it’s the first time she realises the darkness under her eyes. Her face is lined, something bone deep that she doubts ever goes away. It lends her a certain sort of…imperfection that makes her seem a whole lot more human. For everything she’s heard, though she knows to take gossip with a healthy grain of salt, she could almost imagine Hill to be some sort of robot, some living excel sheet. 

Standing in front of her, she sort of just looks like a woman who could do with some sleep. She looks like a woman who has spent the last who-knows-how-many hours beating out her own past the same way Natasha intends to. She won’t call it affection. It doesn’t mean Natasha likes the way she looks straight through her any more. 

“You have any tips?” she says, aiming for something playful. She really, really just wants her to stop looking at her like she can figure her out right here in the middle of the room. Maybe if she seems better than she is, she’ll leave her alone. She’d rather her conduct a genuine vivisection out on the boxing ring floor if she’s going to continue to examine her. 

She’s certain Maria almost smiles at that, a tug at the corner of her lips that is almost sad, almost conspirational. She shrugs ever so slightly. “Shooting things usually helps.” 

Natasha tries not to scowl like a child. As if she wouldn’t be there right now if she could get away with it. “I’m on supervised arms training.” 

This time, Maria does smile, though Natasha thinks she’d have missed it if she blinked. “Not from tomorrow,” she says plainly, and Natasha can only watch her walk away without another word. 

The door closes behind her, and Natasha lets herself furrow her eyebrows as deeply as she likes. She is overtly aware that she is not being let off of supervised training tomorrow. She’s aware that she has been seen as a weapon and an explosive since the moment Clint forgot that he was meant to shoot her. Somehow, she doesn’t think that Maria is one to tease. 

It makes it very hard to punch things as effectively as she’d like to when she can only think after Maria. She wonders what keeps her up at night. She wonders what else she does to get rid of the shadows. She wonders why on earth she would let her off of the hook so early. For all they know, Natasha might decide to defect back. She might’ve been biding her time until she could get a hand on one of those guns outside of the range. She’d never even dream of it, of course. She’d rather be supervised for every split second a gun is in her hands for the rest of her life than have to go back to her life before. She wonders just how deep Maria managed to dig. She wonders if she really is all that transparent after all. 

She finds herself in Clint’s quarters again as thoughtlessly as breathing. Every spare minute in her schedule that lines up with his, she’ll spend hiding from the rest of the world. This time, she’s sitting in his chair, her knees resting against the edge of his desk so that she can spin it slightly from side to side. Clint is behind her in his bunk, his arms tucked up behind his head and his eyes closed. It’s only 2pm. Natasha wishes she could have a nap too. 

“Is she always like that?” she says on a whim, her thoughts still stuck on tired eyes and snap decisions. 

“Like what?” Clint asks, completely brushing over her lack of context. 

“So…intense.” 

“Ah, we’re back on Hill. Yes.” He falls silent again, and Natasha listens to his breath. “Hold on.” His eyes open and his head turns on his pillow to face her. “Did you meet her? When?” 

“This morning.” 

“You were at the range this morning.” 

“Before that.”

“You were asleep before that.” She doesn’t answer, and that tells him everything in as little effort as possible. “Natasha.” 

She doesn’t meet his eye. “It’s better than moping.” 

“You don’t need to mope. You can come wake me up.” 

“But then you don’t sleep.” 

“Tasha, do you really think I’m sleeping well either half the time?” 

She stays silent again, staring intently at the dimples Clint’s chair has made in the carpet. 

“How did you even find her?” he asks eventually, giving up the argument for the countless time. “She’s practically booked to the minute.” 

“She was in the gym when I got there.” 

“I’m going to skip over the fact that you’d rather punch something until you bleed than come and bug me. Was it worth it? Was she all sweaty and hot? Did you two finally canoodle in person?” 

She doesn’t dignify his jokes with a response, her thoughts plain in her expression. “I don’t think she sleeps well either. She looked tired.” 

Clint grins a little. “You paying attention to her face?”

Natasha scowls at him. “It’s normal to look someone in the eye.” 

“Mhm…” He retucks his arms under his head, settling back against his pillow. “It’s for sure normal to think about them all morning.” 

“She took me off of probation,” she says, almost in a rush, like maybe this will change the subject – maybe a little bit like she’s admitting something. 

“Oh you definitely have a crush on her. It’s like she’s trying to get in your pants. Remind me never to read your emails.” 

Natasha only squints at him, wishing once again that she had something appropriate to throw. The urge distracts her enough that she never does reject the notion. And when she finds herself imagining Maria’s secret little smile in those few and far casual emails, she decides that Clint doesn’t need to know. She’s not been given many chances in her life, and she thinks she could make space in her life for two instead of one. She wonders if Maria would ever want a gym buddy on long nights and promptly decides not to think any deeper into it. 

[gingeredmink]

what are your age hcs for tatsuki and soutarou? and misc hcs for urotsuki?

Gonna be blunt, head is a cluttered junkyard and I'm a rambler with zero self control when right conditions are met [you ask about Special Interests]. plus am tired and really out of it from work cause we had inventory and i ordered too many lunchables [oscar mayer can go to hell]. Will do best to make this coherent, or at least intelligible, but apologies if it's a bit of a mess.

Age Headcanons [If we're going for what they are in game]

Short answer: Soutarou is late 20s-early 30s, Tatsuki ranges between 15-18. [tho ofc when I draw shippy stuff it's an AU and they're both early 20s]

Long answer: Actually thought about this on and off a decent bit and could never really get more than a vague, "Somewhere around this area" for them.

Soutarou is somewhere between late 20s and early 30s. He's old enough to have experienced some shit, try to get clean and back on his feet and get some manual labor experience, and have that ripped from him. Plus some time to isolate and have those thoughts wreck havoc on his mental state.

Tatsuki on the other hand is messier and harder to really give an age to. They could be a kid escaping into fairy tales to avoid reality, or a young adult [18-20] that was forced to grow up too fast and is now suffering from dealing with their fractured identity [have thought about Debris endings occurring around Tats 18th birthday, because they have the "You're not a child, so why do you hold onto such stupid childish fantasies?" thoughts to go on top of everything else and it sorta just breaks them.]

Misc Uro Headcanons

Big Deep angsty Uro hc/kinda what shapes her core for me

You might've heard the quote, “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that." by Robin Williams. This more or less summarizes my view of Urotsuki at the core. She may not be weighed down by what other dreamers have gone through, but she knows what it's like to be trapped in darkness and though it may not show, she is doing her best to make others happy because she doesn't want others to go through that. [side note: this is huge part of reason for shipping her with Tatsuki. Feel like they'd be the same, tho Tats is way more introverted. That angsty, "You see through the smiles or notice the little things and softly nudge me to say you understand and are there." sorta thing].

Going off that; for the longest time have hc'd that Uro has struggled with an ED and self image issues in the past and a big part of why she loves food and is okay with being herself, and is so supportive of others doing the same, is because she had to fight to get to where she is and is doing her best to make sure others can simply see the joy in life without experiencing the hell she went through.

More lighthearted/Uro's a goofball hcs

Uro is somewhat lactose intolerant but keeps getting sick because she won't. fucking. stop. eating cheese. Or questionable foods in general. "It smells alright so it's probably fine." [narrator voice: It wasn't fine] sorta things.

Probs mentioned this one before but eh, Uro and Sou are one of few dreamers with a drivers license, and Uro's driving doesn't exactly leave most passengers feeling safe so Sou is constantly stepping in when she offers people a ride. The two bicker at each other like an old couple a surprisingly good bit when eyes aren't on them. This paired with them both being older and able to get drunk makes for quite a scene. [Sabi's laughing, Tats is on the floor trying and failing to hide it.]

She did have a dedicated dream diary at some point, but during a depressive period would start to fill and decorate it with random stuff [silly doodles, poems, stickers , ect], and it's now more like a thought scrapbook or therapeutic outlet for her. Pages that are just her jotting down memories that make her happy have little sticky note bookmarks so she can flip through them when feeling down.

Her head is a mess and all over the place, and her counting sheep is like a ritual she semi-depends on to fall asleep since it gets her to focus on one thing and relax [its a sorta behavioral dependency that if she was somehow barred from doing, she'd probs stress out and not be able to sleep.]

Hope you enjoyed or were at least satisfied with rambling anon ◠⸜⸝◠~

[oscconfessions]

Yk what, I've made a few confessions here and I feel like I've sounded a bit like a hypocrite even tho people didn't even know these confessions were from the same person 💀

I have a weird relationship with unhealthy ships because I don't really ship them but the way in interpret them is kinda in a shippy way? Idk, maybe I'm just too aromantic this

But, for instance, saltpep: I sorta ship it. I don't really ship it but i see them getting together yet I don't see it going well. So ig I ship it but I don't like it?

It's similar for tacomic, I don't entirely ship it and I don't even see them getting together as such but the way i interpret their relationship is maybe Mic feeling she finally has a connection to someone and thinking she's inlove? Again, idkkk, that might just be me accidentally projecting all the times I thought I was in loce but i wasn't

But I always thought I was a hypocrite bc I shipped those but I hated Trife with a passion but I recently realised that I don't really ship Saltpep and Tacomic, I just see it happening (mostly one-sided) while with Knife and Trophy I don't see it happening on either end at all

But, I'm willing to hear other opinions on this and I'm praying my view on these ships isn't problematic or something 😭🙏

.

[genuflectx]

Terato Book Review: A Soul to Keep (Duskwalker Brides Book 1)

This one was on my to-read list on Goodreads for a bit, and I finally got around to reading it. The first half has vague spoilers, such as descriptions of sex and if there was a happy end or not. Under the cut you’ll find a longer review with detailed spoilers. Here we go!

A Soul to Keep (Duskwalker Brides Book 1), by Opal Reyne. Orpheus, a human eating duskwalker, appears every ten years to receive a human sacrifice. Reia, a “harbinger of bad omens,” is coerced into offering herself so that her village can be rid of her without actively killing her. She discovers that Orpheus does not eat this sacrifices, rather he has been looking for a companion. The only problem is that the smell of fear or blood causes him to go into an uncontrolled rage and devour its source, leading to many, many lost companions. As time goes on Reia must decide between trying to run (and potential be killed by lurking demons) or to stay with him. 

The book is 500+ pages, 38 chapters long, with each chapter being pretty short.

PROS ★  ★  ★ 

- It reads like a slow burn long fic, with a writing style that is neither astounding nor terrible. It’s right in the middle, but still one of the more entertaining monster erotica books that I’ve read!

- It’s plot is straight forward and simple with meaningful sexual progression over a long period of writing.

- Smutty scenes are detailed and long, often taking up whole chapters, sometimes with multiple sex scenes lined up one after the other. This is the most detailed smut I’ve seen in an erotic monster novel so far.

- She covers a variety of kinks, some that I haven’t seen in other terato books I’ve read. Size difference, threats of being eaten, hand kinks, pred-prey, copious amounts of cum...

- If you like skull heads, but were weirded out by Chise being underage in Ancient Magus’ Bride, here ya go. The monster is off brand Elias, and the author isn’t shy about crediting him. At the back of the book she says “I originally got into a character like this because of The Ancient Magus' Bride. Elias is a cutie and I loved him.“

- There are a surprising amount of small subplots, action scenes, and dramas in this book, even though the focus is mainly on Reia and Orpheus’s relationship. Basically, all subplots function as a way to change their relationship. I found Reyne to be decent at writing action scenes.

- Major character death sorta, but with a happy (if lackluster) ending.

CONS ★  ★  ★

- By far the biggest con is the disorganization of both information and the world building. Characters will state the obvious, the first 2 chapters are entirely exposition, and personality traits often make little sense given the way characters were raised- mostly Reia. I’ll talk more about this under the cut.

- The 1st sex scene breaks Orpheus’s preestablished personality traits, which took me out of the scene. 

- Two of the sex scenes are very obviously ripped from one of the “shippy” scenes from Ancient Magus’ Bride, except sexyfied. Once was enough. 

- Some kinks featured border on noncon or dubcon, and the feral kink will probably be iffy for some audiences. As in, Orpheus can be “feral” and more animalistic on all fours, but he’s still very clearly a sentient human-minded monster, not an actual animal. I include this as a con because definitions of a true “feral” vary wildly.

- I found some details in sex scenes to be unsexy. Such as Orpheus apparently being into sticking his tongue into Reia’s ears and Reyne describing it as “squelching.” The toe licking scene also comes to mind. I’m sure someone else will see those as pros tho, lol

- She decided to make all demons have “void black” skin, and even though she later makes it clear “void black” isn’t the same as a black skinned human, that was certainly... a choice. Uncreative at best, thoughtless at worst.

- Orpheus pretty much raped a different human multiple times in his past. I’ll talk more about this under the cut because of spoilers.

- Smaller cons that are mostly nitpicks: overuse of specific words for body parts (orbs, channel, cock), butchering a whole fucking deer on a dining room table (!?!?!), small plot holes, some sentences worded confusingly (one scene I was so confused by that I interpreted it as Reia having been disembowled when that wasn’t the case at all!)

★  ★ ★  WOULD I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO TERATO FANS?

Sure! It isn’t wholly good nor wholly bad, it sorta just is. It exists as basically a wildly AU fanfic where Reyne decided “hey Elias is hot, but the girl is a minor? ew” so she just plucked them from their canon and rewrote them in her image, right down to copying a few iconic scenes from the anime. I think the author has potential, but right now the writing itself is merely meh. Entertaining to a degree (I skimmed a LOT of the last dozen chapters), but meh. I don’t think she had an editor or even beta reader, and is self-published only starting from 2020. So she’s pretty new.

Duskwalker Brides is meant to be a series, and this is book 1. Book 2 carries on through a character introduced to us in book 1, but I can’t bring myself to be motivated into reading book 2. Listen, I love skull head monsters, but after one human/duskwalker meet cute story I don’t really feel the need to read another by the same author. The lore of the world truly isn’t that engaging or deep. If she wanted us to stick with it she would need to make us more invested in a wider world-spanning plot, not just two characters and a side character. If I don’t care about the world, why would I want to read the same ol’ same ol’ human/duskwalker story that I literally just read...? I just don’t want to read the same thing twice. Sorry Reyne...

★  ★  ★  FINAL RATINGS:

Monsterousness: 9/10 Eroticism: 9/10 Story: 7/10 Characters: 6/10

MY FINAL SCORE: 7/10 (Not the best, but fun)

Spoiler time! We’ll start with the good things first, as usual. So... A Soul to Keep... I really did not care for the writing style from the get-go, mainly because it immediately broke the show-don’t-tell rule and started introducing us to a “she” before it even explained who “she” was. I was so confused! But luckily on the 2nd chapter it picked us back up and got me hooked. 

We are introduced to this strange world where humans cowered from “demons” and “duskwalkers,” the later which can walk in sunlight, unlike the former. Soon enough we learn that whatever the monsters eat they become, which causes those monsters who eat the most humans to become more human. Similarly, whatever animals they eat they become. So a dog-like demon has eaten dogs, an intelligent demon has eaten people- and our main character Orpheus with his magic has eaten priests, with his skull eaten wolves, his horns an impala. I found that premise interesting and unique.

( Speaking of impala. I can only assume they must be located in South Africa? Since that’s where impalas live...? But something tells me Reyne just did not think that hard... especially since almost all the characters have a Greek or Latin name... hmmm.... )

I very much liked the initial will-they-won’t-they aspect of the book! Sadly, despite how long it was, they go to the smut a lot sooner than I expected. Romance is second to the smut for A Soul to Keep, which is a shame. But the book is able to keep its slow burn title because they don’t have sex until late in the book, instead using mouths and hands. And, beyond sexual content, there’s finally the romantic part of the book, leading up to Reia eventually giving Orpheus her soul. We get to watch this big fluffy skull-monster fret and fuss over his little human, trying to win her heart, while at the same time trying to quell his bloodlust and not eat her. I love a good threat of being eaten >:D 

But then it becomes... meh.

This back-and-forth relationship between them beings to feel overplayed and muddled by the middle of the book. Characters become repetitive and wishy-washy. Reia, despite beginning to consider staying, runs away anyways and nearly fucking dies. Why, Reyne? She was scared of falling in love. She was scared of falling in love so she... thrusted herself literally into a den of bloodthirsty monsters. It’s a dumb motivation. Reia, who is supposedly meant to be intelligent, is stupid only when drama calls for it. That’s annoying for a reader.

Which is a perfect Segway into my bigger gripes about the book. Reyne writes as if she doesn’t know what she’ll write until it’s coming out of her, and this results in information getting to the page out of order. I don’t know how else to explain it other than everything felt disorganized. Info, sentences, the world. She has self-published so many books in only 2 years that I’m inclined to believe she is churning them out without really going back through them. It results in an amateurish read, which is a shame given how much potential I see in the story. Out of everything it’s the smutty chapters that really shine. But everything else just falls by the wayside, especially character and world consistency. 

And before I get to those inconsistencies- I have got to mention the rape thing. Orpheus’s first human, Katarina, was 200 years ago. He talks lovingly about her, about building a house and buying things for her, having lost his virginity to her. But then Katarina reveals that she never wanted it, and let him fuck her because she was scared he’d eat her if she said no. This was untrue because he wouldn’t have eaten her. However, as a scared human kidnapped by a monster known for bloodlust, she felt coerced, leading to it being rape. Multiple times. But Reia decides it was Katarina’s own fault for being raped because she “didn’t tell him no.” She even calls Katarina a cold hearted bitch. Then, Reyne decides to make Katarina an evil villain who’s out to kill Orpheus and make him miserable. Astounding. Honestly, that was the most fucked up thing about this story. Reia talks about Katarina as if she were terrible and bitchy because she “didn’t tell Orpheus no/her real feelings,” but Orpheus was very much a half-animal 200 years ago, one known for slaughtering humans, so why would the woman ever think anything else? She was terrified. 

Reia is a shitty person, and I squint my eyes at Opal Reyne for writing a rape victim that way. I don’t know if she just did this distasteful thing without thinking or if she legitimately was inserting her own beliefs about rape victims here. Reia isn’t exactly supposed to be an unreliable narrator and it seems like we’re supposed to like Reia, which means we’re meant to agree with her. But no, Reyne, I do not. Reia was being a love blind asshole. It was not Katarina’s fault for being kidnapped and raped when she feared for her life, even if Orpheus was dumb and didn’t know he was raping her, rape is rape. Orpheus wasn’t at fault for being born a stupid monster, but neither is Katrina at fault for being too terrified to say no. >.>’

Now some of my notes on plot holes + inconsistencies: 

- It was preestablished early on that Orpheus always gave Reia space. Sometimes to the extreme that he’d stand outside of the room she was in. So why on Earth would he suddenly just be invading her private room in the middle of the night over a funny smell? Then stick his nose in her crotch? That is not the thoughtful and nervous Orpheus you introduced to us. (This is one of the scenes she copied twice from The Ancient Magus Bride, btw, she just made it smutty.)

- Reia’s knowledge and personality do not make sense for her upbringing. She was traumatized at the age of 7 by watching her whole family gored to death. Then, since 7, was left alone in a one-room shack on the outskirts of town, only being given food at a distance. So why, then, does she know how to bake cookies? Why, then, does she know how to dye and sew dresses? Why, then, does she know curse words and have sexual education? This girl should be uneducated, half-insane from isolation, and timid from being bullied and talked down on her entire life. Instead, Reyne expects us to believe this girl has the confidence and worldly knowledge of a normal girl. Maybe even smarter than a normal girl, given she knows what Stockholm Syndrome is and enough scientific knowledge to think about electricity. She doesn’t make sense.

- There’s a scene in which Orpheus covers her in a cloak and a deer skull as a costume. He tells her she cannot show her pale hands because her human skin would give her away. However, in the demon village one of the first thing she notes is that many demons have human faces and patches of human skin. So why should showing her hands have gave her away? Or Hell, even her face? Even the demon king himself has a humanoid face and skin patches. This seems to me an annoying decision made by Reyne to, again, foster drama.

- Mavka does not just mean “forest spirit,” it seems to be a specific woman forest spirit. Both Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia of Ukraine say this. I don’t know why she chose this word to represent a bloodthirsty skull-headed spawn of void and phantom. It almost seems... bad?

- The whole impala horn thing. I have no doubt this book is based in Europe, possible England, due to that being where Ancient Magus’ Bride was located. But impalas are in South Africa. Also, she capitalized impala as Impala every time. I assume because of no editor and autocorrect thinking she meant the car. lmao

Lastly, some other notes and goofy quotes

- Reia butchers a whole ass deer on a dining room table. Guts, brains, blood, the works, all on the table. I don’t think Reyne did any research on how to butcher a large animal...

- Right after Reia dies in front of him and returns, Reyne decides this is the perfect time for Reia to instigate a pred-prey chase on an unwilling and sad Orpheus, which leads to sex. The chapter right after is ALSO another sex scene. It was so weird at this point in the book and the sex no longer had meaning.

- The whole bath thing is fun for an erotic book, but... let’s be honest here. The strange monster man who coerced you into his home forcing you to have your privates and boobs touched twice a day is very much not consensual and is weird.

- “Almost like she was afraid of the answer, Reia quietly asked, ‘Do you have a cock, Orpheus?’ "He leaned forward, swiping his tongue over her ear, around it, inside it, and it sent a shiver through her. She heard the squelch of it against her ear hole. ‘Yes, my little human, I have a cock.’” noooo who asks that

- “She could tell how hard her heart was thumping by her left breast floating in the water, jiggling lightly with each beat.” whhhhy 

Soooo

The book is alright. It’s readable and offers a good few hours of entertainment, but it does drag on around the middle to end. The worst thing about it (besides being disorganized) is probably the rape victim blaming, which does make me distrust Reyne a bit. I don’t really have much else to say. Give it a read or don’t. There’s probably better monster erotica out there, somewhere, but I don’t think I’ve found it just yet... I’m not sure if I’ll read any more of Reyne’s work between 2020-2022, but maybe in a few years, when she’s practiced more, I’ll try again. I look forward to that day :)

[thesappiestnap]

i've had this idea for a long while, and finally wrote it down. this is like... familial type relationship, like i imagine reader as a slightly older sibling type friend to tommy. i may also make this a series! i'll almost definitely have a part two at the very least. anyways, thanks for reading and enjoy,

Lotus (Rebirth)

"Here. I thought you might like this."

As you plopped the bucket into his hands, you watched with a wry smile as Tommy's whine about a bit of water spilling on his shirt dissolved into stunned and awed silence as his eyes fell onto what was inside.

The flower, barely bigger than the palm of your hand, floated delicately on the surface of the water, its unfurled petals seeming to give off a gentle glow even in the sunlight.

"It's a lotus," you say proudly, "I found it when I was digging up clay in a swamp."

Tommy's mouth drew into a tight line for a moment while he stared at the flower, blinking a little rapidly for a moment before finally clearing his throat. "Yeah, it's alright, I guess," he said in an attempt to sound nonchalant. "Thanks."

You could tell that he was touched by the gift, and wouldn't admit it. But it wasn't even the biggest part of it. You'd had the idea for a while, ever since Tommy came back from the prison... from death... You just couldn't watch him keep falling into more and more hurt. And you had gone a bit on your own since after L'manberg was destroyed, finding it easier to stay away from the fighting of others. Tommy deserved that sort of rest too. You just had to think of how to ask him.

"Did you know that lotuses symbolize rebirth in flower language?"

"Really?" Tommy's tone changed immediately, intrigued. "There's a language for flowers?"

"Yeah, like how you give someone a red rose to symbolize love and passion, other flowers have those kinds of meanings too."

Tommy looked back down at the flower floating in the bucket in his hands, eyebrows furrowing. "Are you trying to send me a secret message? Wai- is this cause I died and came back?! That's very rude, you know, to bring up," he said in the way you knew he was doing a bit.

"Well, no, actually, I hadn't really thought of it like that. But, uh..." You shuffled your feet slightly, fidgeting with the strap of your travel bag on your shoulder. "I was thinking, ya know, maybe it was time for a change for you. I mean, all this shit you've been through, maybe you should sorta... start over. I thought maybe I could help you do that."

He was only more confused by that, tilting his head to the side slightly, looking like a confused puppy. "How's that?"

"Well, I've been working on making a farm since... ya know. Sorta away from everything, but still close enough that I can visit. I made an extra room, ya know, in case I needed it, and it's kinda quiet there and I thought you might like it there." You glanced up at him to see a wide open mouthed smile spreading across his face.

"Are there cows?"

His smile was contagious, you found as one spread on your own face. "And sheep, and chickens. I've been supplying Niki with milk and eggs and crops to start up her bakery again. I was thinking about starting up a shop to make and sell jams and fresh veggies, too. Milk and cheese and butter, maybe bread and cookies. But, ya know, I'd need help for that."

Tommy's eyes- his entire face, really- was aglow. "Yeah! I can help you sell, I'm a great businessman! Salesman Tommy, they call me!"

You smiled as he launched into a tirade about how good at business he was, reminiscing about Tubbo Bathwater. "So you're in?"

"Fuck yeah! We can be business partners and I get 50% of all profits!"

You rolled your eyes a little, but you didn't care much about the profit part of it. "You can take over my spare room then, or build your own place close by, whatever you want. I can take care of most of the farm work if you want to take care of the animals. And since I know you secretly like flowers," you added a bit cheekily, "I have a little garden started. Not much, but you can expand it however you want. I have books that can teach you about gardening techniques and stuff, and I have one about flower language too, if you want to learn."

Tommy jumped around like his feet were on fire, yelling incoherently with happy Tommy noises as water sloshed around his hands onto the grass below. He stopped suddenly- "I have to pack then, make sure I get all my valuables from my 'ome. Oh... my house. What do I do with my house?"

"You can always come back to it. Use it as a place to stay when you come visit, or like a second base or something," you suggested.

"Yeah. Yeah! Right! We have GOT a PLAN! I have to get Friend, and Shroud, oh, do you have any leads-" You had already procured two leads from your bag, tossing them over to him. He beamed, shoving the bucket with the lotus back into your arms. "RIGHT! Hold this for me- I will go get my things, and we can start up, chop chop, there's work to be done!"

He had a fire in his eyes as he ran off towards his little hovel, a look that you hadn't seen in a while, a reminder of the carefree, excitable boy he used to be. You couldn't change what had happened to him, but you'll be damned if you wouldn't help him change his future. You looked down at the lotus, still gently touching the surface of the finally still water in the bucket. This would be Tommy's rebirth.

[floweringeclipse]

iris: *slides someone 20 whole gil* can i hold ur hand someone: i have a s/o-- iris: *also slides their s/o 20 whole gil* can i hold ur hand too?

[cirkkaa]

I'm going to ramble a about something that bothers me a bit about rayemma so if you're not in for me being overly invested in fictional characters, this is your cue to not read this lol. Also I might sound like I'm taking it too seriously, but it's just me talking out loud, dw. I'm drinking coffee as I write :)

This contains manga spoilers!

I've already vented a little on twitter but now that days passed and I could notice other things, I want to talk about it here bc I think is calmer and I feel a little self conscious bringing ship related matters there. ( also I would've making a long ass thread no one wants to see lmao)

Let's state something first: I love Ray. He's my favorite tpn character, and I'm multishipper. Either if I'm being biased or not, I love rayemma, and I also love noremma and other ships. But RE has a soft spot for me for obvious reasons. And I'm not only talking only about romance here, tho of course I can't take it out of the frame bc, well is just another layer of their relationship. But my primary concern has to do with the interaction between both as it is.

Now, you may know about Shirai's and Sugita's commentary on the forest arc RE, if you don't it's here. Let's go to what is my perception.

Ray and Emma shared an unique bond like no other, would they have spent all those arcs on building their relationship from a very unstable/chaotic one to one which showcased a level of trust so deep that they were able to enter another realm and defy time and space......... that Ray out of all people was the one who felt her presence, was literally GUIDED to find her in a context in which realistically they might as well never ever see each other again to show us.. A sibling relationship? COMRADES? I felt like a bucket of ice was thrown at me. 

I've always loved that they didn't emphasize the sibling part of tpn when it came to the trio bc in no way it feels sibling-like. I always considered them as best friends, the kind that life puts in your way and you can feel it's different from any other bond you may have. And besides, story-wise, it makes sense since ehem NE exists, so that would be a weird concept to praise while putting characters on a shippy moment. Now, I think it's only fair for all 3 to be considered under the same context. But looks like NE gets a free pass, RE doesn't, and NR is close to nonexistent so we'll never know.

RE bonding was one of the best ones I've ever seen and probably my favorite, I have no words to describe how much I loved Shirai for taking this path with them. But this commentary?? Honestly, wouldn't you feel at least a little salty if this happened to a couple that means a lot to you? imagining that exactly this description was used to describe NE. Sounds incredibly ridiculous and just nonsensical doesn't it? Like hell, it can be anything but not this.

"Hey but NE is sorta canon and RE never existed" Well that doesn't mean that they aren't friends FIRST and foremost, which is the kind of relationship they showed ALL the time throughout the story. Not of siblings, not of comrades. Of course Emma referred to all GF as her family, but that I remember, she never considered Norman or Ray as her brothers, explicitly.

So in short, I felt sad and in disbelief. Nothing to do about it, it's done.

“But he said it´s okay to interpret it the way you want” Yes, which is very nice of him. But after reading that, I felt so drained and confused that romance in RE at this point sounded like a joke, when their friendship is pretty much.. Just there.

On a more selfish note, RE doesn't get half the credit it deserves. Their friendship goes under the rug most of the time, and considering canon events and how Ray fell on the sides, and now this commentary over a relationship in which in  2 arcs it might as well have been a central point, being diminished with this.. Just what even??

Not that I have power over someone else likings or interpretations, but man I wish they could appreciate them more.. I also would love to see Shirai taking his time to describe their relationship not focusing on the " there's definetly not romance here if that's what you want to know"I feel like there is much more to it that just the explanation he and Sugita gave, but that's just me being hopeful.

I think this is the only thing I highly disagree on with canon facts so far. Not that it matters what random fan on tumblr says, but yeah

A side note: this commentary was part of the fanbook, which is not translated officially and the parts that are, were made by fans. So maybe there is more info about them, for which I will say take my input with a grain of salt. Also, I'm not hating in any tpn ship or Shirai or Sugita. This is just a way for me to express my feelings over my disagreement with their answers. Do not take this as me about to break into Shirai´s house trying to validate a ship, or forcing ppl to ship them. I'm just voicing my thoughts and maybe regretting making this post later on 🤠

I do believe in the potential of all kind of fictional relationships, so I don't think siblings or comrades are in any way less important than lovers, for instance. However in my reflection, if you read the manga, you will know how not fitting those term are for RE. At least, in my opinion, they aren´t.

Thank you for reading, have a nice day.

[three--rings]

Ok, for no good reason really, except @weiixian asked in a tag on a post I RBed:

How gay is Hikaru no Go on a scale of 1-10?

(First, you may want to check out my rec post.)

I’m going to answer SPECIFICALLY for the Chinese drama, because it’s more relevant and I’m trying to get people to watch it, lol.  There are really good analyses of the anime, anyway.  (Mild Spoilers for the drama below.)

So, to borrow language from this essay on AniGay, Hikaru no Go has always been implicitly and metaphorically gay, rather than explicitly gay.  The anime fits in with other sorta classically shipped animes in that ‘WOW those two boys are REALLY obsessed with each other, huh?’ kinda way.

But with Hikago, it’s really not accidental.  You get the sense the people making it really understand what they’re doing. 

The same goes for the Cdrama, but even more so, I feel.  Now, it’s very on the downlow.  Someone could easily watch the drama and not notice the gay implications at all...at least until the last episode. 

The drama actually goes FURTHER than the anime or manga in making it hard to ignore the implications.  It’s still 100% deniable, because they’re friends and rivals!  But, uh, they’re sharing a bed and like Totally Married by the end?

HOWEVER, there are 34 episodes to get through before the gay stuff starts being REALLY obvious.  So if your ONLY reason for watching something is to watch obvious romance, it’s probably not the show for you.  (I’d recommend an explicitly BL drama.)

I do think the show is good, and engaging, though IMO it picks up as it goes and you have to get past the first few episodes to know if you’ll enjoy it.  The main actor doesn’t even appear until ep 3.  There are a lot of enjoyable side characters and emotions to be had that have absolutely nothing to do with the main ship. 

The drama of the Go matches and world is very compelling and you become super invested over time.  (Less so in the drama than the anime, tho.)  But really, there’s a reason this story has been adapted multiple times.  It’s very good.

There’s also the side-ship of Fang Xu/ Bai Cheun.  This also doesn’t really show it’s shippiness until the last couple of episodes, though they interact throughout.  This is a drama-only ship, btw.  Also Fang Xu is super attractive eyecandy, okay.  I just need to get that out there.

But overall it’s a coming of age story, in the context of a game, pursuing a dream, making choices, making friends, struggling, achieving, dealing with losses...the gay is basically a cherry on top? 

So it’s difficult to rate.  Do I think the show writers and actors are completely aware of the undertones and even play them up?  Yes.  Like by the end state how gay is it?  Like a 7 or 8?

But for most of its run?  Maybe a 3.  It’s hard to rate because it is so subtle.  Which honestly makes it perfect for a Chinese censorship environment.  Or the general anime market 20 years ago, tbh.

[renunu]

Bow to the First Order.

[raquellmurillo]

I would have loved it if Sergio was the one being captured instead of Raquel. Then we would have had a plausible reason for Raquel to be part of the heist, she would have been in charge of it (and would have been awesome) and she could have used her knowledge of police procedures! Sergio on the other hand could have improvised some ways to help Raquel and the gang, and especially thinks about his really sucky life choices these past 2 seasons 😒 maybe to redefine his priorities.

Totally! Imagine how much more entertaining it would be! I think they really can’t let go of him being the mastermind; there’s one thing replacing him, and there’s another replacing him with an ex member of the police, woman... (it seems she can only serve as a love interest at this point....)

Exactly, ‘redefine his priorities’; have a flashback to Raquel telling him they shouldn’t be doing this heist, for the safety of his new ‘family’; and him sitting in that tent thinking ‘oh shit, what have I done’. rather than going around calling her ‘mi mujer’ as soon as she ‘dies’, i know they were trying to be romantic and shippy but what the actual fuck.... umm is this a corpse bride sequel??? lmao imma shut up sorry about that

Also.... the whole ‘let’s hold Raquel hostage in a tent in the center of Madrid plan’; what was that supposed to be?

How many people work in that tent? Let’s say they do two, three, shifts; perhaps 100 or so people in and out of there in a day - considering it’s a national emergency, additionally also probs firemen, medics etc.

Apart from Tamayo and Alicia... how many people in there are high up or earn millions? Very few. 

The great thing about s1&2 was their constant use of media and ‘the citizens’ (from Alison to Berlin’s live interview), here they sorta forget about it  apart from when they use the huge crowd outside to symbolically hug Raquel lmao  once again, as I’ve mentioned; loyalty to people not institutions!!! So, you’re the normal guy, calmly sitting at your desk, and all of a sudden they bring in the women who has been your superior for god-knows how many years. You’ve been to their family bbq’s, got her a secret Santa present at one point. Found out about her whole husband situation, felt sorry for her as the dude was so high up you knew that they probs wouldn’t do anything about it. You saw the whole ordeal with them threatening to take her kid away, her almost losing her job, probs know about her mother, also saw how the police didn’t do anything about the recording which was published during the heist.... she’s had a hard time. Then you find out she’s run off with the guy who printed off billions. And you know what? Good for her. She deserves it. Has her ‘betrayal’ affected your salary? Not in one bit... perhaps you’re just left wondering why she still hasn’t hired someone to deal with her ex. Anyhows...

So they bring this women in, and it turns out they faked her death and she’s been illegally detained. For her sake, or perhaps because the press outside is willing to pay more money than you earn in a year, you snap a photo. Raquel originally totally freaked out because she thought Sergio was a reporter trying to get info; there’s gonna be thousands of them trying to get the smallest snippet of information. And with the amount of people in and out of that tent, no one will know it was you. Tbh, it will probably escalated too; as soon as the info is out, the other tv stations will be paying more and more for better photos, videos etc.

So that’s why I found the whole Sergio having to investigate (with Tokyo being his voice of reason omfg) so pointless. That info imo, would have been out within hours if not minutes. Yall saw how that tent stopped and stared when she walked in?? There was defo a photo taken immediately to be put on some whatsapp group chat; ‘the traitor who didn’t take us on holiday with her is back’ ‘should we suggest going with her more directly this time???’ ‘I’m certain lmao

It would be logical to leak the recording if they hid her away somewhere (which they should’ve done, what idiot thought the tent in central Madrid was a good idea if they intend to keep this secret? They know they don’t pay their employees enough lol)  in this manner Sergio could find out if they actually killed her. The police, trying to avoid a bad public image, would all of a sudden resurrect her and they could even do that whole plan paris thing, i know tho netflix, it would require more writing; why do that when you can just chuck everything into the ‘enemy tent’???

[grandzealot]

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. Don’t reblog.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?:   atticus (starling) and richter ( #atticus and richter )

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:  i cant rly do any new deep authentic romance here so im mostly here for all other things? lighter or more superficial or disastrous etc. richters more sexually driven than romantically driven but im not generally into smut  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i do like writing him navigating relationships horribly tho and its natural to hint at his lustful thoughts if hes with someone he desires

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: i start disliking it at about ten years. at fifteen or so ill usually refuse. within five years of one another is ideal. i do make exceptions if im comfy writing w someone but its genuinely not a thing i just lightly step into for tmi irl personal history lmao

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:   yes but richter is a canon character so honestly anyone can have at him in their characters own canon— im just not necessarily interested in writing this richter in that role. i care about both writing and character chemistry  

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS.FW?: i think before id fade to black before bathing suit areas were touched but honestly these days i dont think id do even heavy kissing here lmao ( i actually have an easier time drawing those things tho bc its more of an aesthetic exercise then )

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: ahhhh so many great combinations (and some going no deeper than almost kisses necessarily.) ive written lots over the last 4 years but as far as who ive had inbox interactions with these last couple weeks or whatever being back: @america-redefined @atomsandnothingness @glowfelt @griimreaping @hellbentwidow ...& @beenpole is a special one bc marcie and richter interactions have been around since i started this blog and shes one of the characters richter always feels deeply about c: <3 theres honestly a lot more and the potential for a lot more i just went through my drafts and inbox to see whos around recently who i have shippy stuff to answer for lmao

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:   idk honestly. usually if it feels like theres a spark there ill mention it eventually but i think i have been too intimidated to say things sometimes lmao. i do need our characters to interact first to get a feel for it i think unless im comfortable w the other mun and we just plan a no pressure character fling lmao

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:  its hard to say because it is easy to write for when that interest is there but i do get worn out feeling like my blog is full of shipping after a few replies in a row lmao

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: yes and by default richters super monogamous so he usually has to be multiverse ( tho some of his incarnations are not like that )

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: i think this was answered two questions up... but i am sorta obsessed w my best friends character and our ship but that feels more like it mixes into personal writing and development more than tumblr rp at this point. i post a lot of inspo for it here where i can access it easily with tags but im interacting w other people here to grow in my writing and maybe learn and experiment with new things    

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:  lady maria of the astral clocktower extending her hand into the heartspace of player character i, tenderly visceralling me into deaths equally sweet embrace as her elegant boss theme leads us into the YOU DIED overlay 

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:  by default just rp w me platonically and ill probably bring it up if it feels like theres something? alternatively you could directly ask and ill say what i think at that time but if i dont know you or your character that well probably dont ask bc ppl being directly after ships is offputting to someone like me? theres nothing wrong with being really into ships and being down to just dive into one – youre probably just better matched w someone whose writing is inspired in the same way? 

tagged by: @beenpole​ * ( sorta lol ) tagging: anyone interested c:

[full-course-identity]

Give me your thoughts on uuuh Jake

wew boy

okay. gonna word dump this, and probably other interpretation asks, so I can get the words out there.

from my POV, there’s 3 types of canon Jake + 1 fanon vers + my personal interpretation. lemme explain what they are;

Book Jake, who I don’t have enough experience with bc I STILL haven’t finished the book… >_>;

2River Jake, who is kinda oblivious and very in-the-moment impulsive (not so bad he’s jumping place to place ADHD like Rich, but like, not considering that maybe dropping everything to seduce Madeline or Christine is a bad idea when he clearly really likes Chloe). these are debatably survival mechanisms bc of his family (and wealth, if you want to go into the “being rich actually traumatizes you and locks you into dissociation” theory–but to be fair, this is partially reliant on thinking Jake is Genuinely Rich. … well, not Rich as in… yeah); ignoring any pain he feels in favor of getting dicked down and forgetting about everything for a while. very “I’m not sad, I’m busy!!!!!” 

Bway (possibly the new canon general for all Jakes since it sounds like London’s is modeled after him but just… toned down), who is still oblivious, but towards other people’s emotions instead of himself; he’s manipulative, a little impulsive but a lot more malicious about it, and he knows exactly how hurt he is about his parents. this jake’s awareness of himself makes him act worse because he knows this is the only thing that seems to help and it’s basically the only thing he actually has control of. his wealthiness is undeniably present and Bad here because the reason taking what he wants and not caring that it hurts people is his main coping skill is pretty much only because he’s been allowed that privilege all his life. i tend to think this version of him should be done by a white cishet dude (despite jake’s actor on bway being genuinely FANTASTIC) bc being marginalized in a high school should’ve curved a lot of the “endless power and privilege” he gets for being rich (Not That One). 

[i… think this jake has ‘better’/more nuanced writing in BWay… but i don’t think it fits the musical nor is it the overall direction i think it should’ve gone. BMC feels best to me when there’s a heavier element of Dark Humor that briefly nods to a Larger and more Fucked Up world behind the bit we see in the musical. making it largely a twisted comedy, maybe even ramping that up further with more whiplash lines like jake’s “which means the house is empty, so that’s fun”]

Fanon Jake is… like most of the fanon characters in BMC, a bit… “bipolar” (like, radically shifting depending on the situation). the BMC fandom has been born with heavy engagement from minors in the current fascist climate of fandom as a whole. as a result, you have three general uses of jake that as “approved of” by somehow the exact same people despite being conflicting in a lot of ways. THIS IS NOT ME SHITTING ON FANON, i actually think most of this fandom is just a casual romp for most people and that shouldn’t be snatched away from them nor mocked nor treated like you HAVE to be logically consistent when this is just a fun hobby for most… but there are still trends i notice:

1: Jake the sweet bi disaster who loves their significant other and is just a little bit hopeless in their silliness and Down For Whatever-esque personality. this is often used for shippy pictures and memes and cute little oneshots, plus, of course, fluff.

2: Jake the tragic abuse victim who is extremely sad and has to learn to love again and has always been selfless, plus or minus a permanent disability post-fire. this is of course used for hurt/comfort, plus in combination kinda with michael in the bathroom-esque posts and tragic art, often also used as an example of the squip being the worst for jeremy or rich guilt trauma. also: aesthetic and moodboard posts.

3: the one I have the least good will towards: Jake the “why does everybody woobify mlm? You can’t portray him without flaws! queer boys aren’t your fetish!!!” with an attached, clunkily written reasons why he was an asshole that is also simultaneously watered down so you don’t think he’s a Monster bc then you’d be vilifying queer men (well, more like they’d feel bad about their cutesy-er ‘emotional support’ art and writing which is Totally Different from all the other cutesy emotional support art and writing). 

basically, Meta Trying To Make Jake Reasonably Flawed But Not Evil in this fandom is RARELY genuine–it’s more often than not moralistic hand-wringing made so that they can wash themselves of the guilt for actually enjoying something with a character they portray as mlm, or otherwise the guilt of enjoying anything romantic or sexual involving men or queer people period when we’re apparently not supposed to do that anymore, as decreed by the radfems infesting our spaces. 

and, well, or you’re an mlm writing this post, you’re probably young and still feeling extremely sensitive and scared about your identity. i once saw a very wise post by a trans person who had been trans for a long time, who said that when you first come out as trans (or queer in general, but especially trans people who are beginning social or physical transition and coming to terms with themselves) you are obvs on High Fucking Alert and so you’re insecure and scared of anything, ranging from “obvious transphobia” to “just trans people enjoying themselves and exploring transphobia in fiction or else their own sexuality”. again, this can relate to a lot of identities tbh, and as such young mlm either cis or trans can get very Itchy about people enjoying mlm content.

anyway.

wrapping it back around to me: i edit jake on a case by case basis (sometimes i even make him eviler or meaner based on what’s set up during Bway, he’s just not my usual go-to villain), but i tend to think of him as a tragic Mr. Peanutbutter-y sweetheart who kinda knows he feels like shit yet also knows that if he stops to assess it, it would make his life a lot harder in a time where he can’t afford that. his relationship with chloe is extremely toxic (chloe abuses him horribly, specifically), and so he tries to claw his way out of it only to be continually back in by chloe and her bullshit. 

this is why he doesn’t really get... well. he genuinely thought the thing with christine was going to be permanent; he wasn’t jerking her around, he thought he was over chloe and wanted a girl as cool and fun and genuinely nice as her. afterward he Gets It, and so feels Really Bad--at a time where he doesn’t have his house, his legs are broken (i don’t tend to put him in a perma-wheelchair), his parents have abandoned him, and he best friend is in the hospital. guilt crashes in on him from all sides, and he just has to... pretend it isn’t, even as he can no longer stop himself from thinking about it.

if i was to do a jake focused story, it’d probably be a dating sim where you play as him and watch his life change in conjunction with his attempts to find happiness again; you can either choose decisions that help him greatly or ruin his life so ver much... hmm. lets file that under hashtag “story ideas i’ll never use even though they could be great”

to wrap this up: i like jake. i don’t... really enjoy most of the written content (fanfic, meta, sometimes even the storylines on ask blogs) in this fandom about him or... really, most of the characters, which i feel bad about--i’d enjoy it more if it was every in conjunction with my usual Wants in a fic, which is, like. extreme angst.

BUT

i do still like jake, and i can super enjoy his portrayal in memes and visual art

he’s just not my total fave, but like, the reason he tends not to come up a lot in my content is more what i’m focusing on and why. i’d be happy to use him in stories if his presence fit.

as a bonus

here’s the ships i’m happy to use him for, generally: deere, michael/jake, brooke/jake, toxic chloe/jake, and of course, different ocs/jake

his identities/labels: cis, bisexual/romantic... tho sometimes i actually go for bisexual and aromantic! outside bway and eviler jakes, i’m good with him being any race, and even then it’s just a matter of suspending disbelief re: privilege theory. also, PTSD probably, and maybe generalized anxiety as a result. maaaaaybe autistic too? adhd would be a hard sell for me since he seems super put together in a way that’d be extremely difficult for every form of adhd, but i can see him being neurodivergent on the spectrum + like dyslexia maybe. oh, and i sorta-kinda think he may be color blind? but really i’d drop that at a moment’s notice if it’d be easier to write him without it lol.

his interests: one is more or less sports in general, tho i think that, unless he went straight for track or swimming or something Olympics (which he probably can’t do now...), that’s a high school or some college only focus for him. so, besides sports, i think he’d kinda like the satisfaction and steady growth of Collecting Rare Things That You Have To Look For, like cool rocks, bugs, etc. 

as for careers... some form of doctor something, maybe a businessman of some sort but he’d likely try to curve his power in that field as much as possible; he inherits his parents' assets and company or whatever, but he probably takes a backseat to that and only really has it out of a sense of ‘it’s my job as my parent’s kid to keep the company going--without engaging in the same awful legal issues they did--for as long as i can’. one of my fave jake-is-there stories, vanceypant’s spicy bis-focused fic 1999, has him owning a restaurant, and that was cool as hell.

also jake loves dogs. especially golden retrievers. yes.

[thereturnofastrosrevenge]

ngl i find it kind of creepy that, even in an au, you ship purple guy and vannie ;^; purple guy is an old gross guy who preys on people and vannie is a canonly nonconsenting young lady. just seems creepy and predatory to me ;^; i love purple guy to which is why i follow you but this feels a little off ;; why do you ship it, even in an au when you could make a cool character to ship with purple guy who is equally as creepy cause you have good art and are creative >;

Thank you for not being mean or aggressive about this, and if you want me to tag it, I can totally do that if it still makes you uncomfortable. I apologize in advance for this long post but I just want to ease people’s concerns because I get it, it doesn’t look good if you don’t know the context lmao.

I agree with you that the canon characters do not have a good relationship, it would be creepy and predatory as they are in canon, and I would absolutely abhore it as it is. (I mean, I think it’s gonna be really interesting from a non-shippy point and I’m excited for the new game) We’re on the same page there, I get sick to my stomach when I see people ship things in that way- nonconsensual, a predatory older man and a scared younger woman (could be any gender and it’d still be bad tho) hell, even Jack x Ashi from Samurai Jack makes me mega uncomfortable (but its more with the canon writing itself and not the shippers).

But, that’s exactly what I don’t ship. I don’t ship canon William and Vanny, never have. No one else I associate with does either. There’s a huge difference between what I ship and what their canon relationship is. What happened was, me and some friends, before we knew more about the AR e-mails and more about their relationship, sorta came up with our own cutesy/non abusive headcanons and characterizations, and we got attached to them, they sorta became their own thing away from canon and that’s what we ship. 

We balance them out, William is still evil and kills people obviously but Vanny isn’t a helpless, scared little girl, she’s a programmer/technician and has the power to put him in his place if need be. Believe me, people fetishizing women as helpless and scared in their relationships with men triggers me. That’s not cute, that’s not shippy, and that’s not how we ship them. I like the idea of them being an edgy serial killer couple on the same footing without some gross or serious power imbalance, or Vanny is an edgelord fangirl of his and is just as creepy/evil as he is, but she’s not afraid of him. My fave interpretation (and yes, I’m aware it’s not canon) is that Vanny’s an edgy fangirl and she wants to help him BUT she’s too chicken to actually go kill people like he wants, or something like that, and that’s all that the “reluctance” is. That, and, it’s worth mentioning that we mainly headcanon Vanny as uh, the opposite of submissive to him... so we’re definitely not shipping them as “William is preying on her and she’s powerless/being coerced”. Oh no. Most of the time we’re (OR AT LEAST I AM) thirsting over Vanny being uh..... not submissive......

It’s like, for us, (and I don’t speak for all my friends that ship this BUT this is like, what we all usually talk about) this ship is more of a campy, fluffy, kinda silly thing, and as far as I’m aware, among my friends, none of us ship them in an abusive or gross way. If anyone did, then i wouldn’t agree with that interpretation of the ship (unless it was done as like, story that handles it well and not meant to be actually shipped, but that’s completely different)

I’ll also admit that in this ship, I do make William a sOFTER version of his canon self, (listen I love giving horrible villains actual personalities. like, they’re evil and bad and irredeemable but also maybe they’d behave long enough to get snuggles and genuinely treat someone they’re dating with respect while still killing other people and also they have other interests and hobbies sometimes other than murder, so they’re more like a person and not just a cartoonish monster 24/7. It’s not to try to excuse their crimes, it’s just, for fun.) and he’s like, not abusive.

 Yes, it’s pretty canon divergent, Vanny would probably be considered a different character at that point, but there’s so much other fanon and fan works that also stray really far away from canon. That’s been a thing in the FNAF fandom since like, forever. People have been making great and wildly successful AUs for FNAF for a long time, and I don’t see how this is much different. People have even found ways to make Henry x William work in a non disgusting way. Canonically? Hell no! But that’s what’s nice about this fandom, since we’re only given vague fragments of canon at a time, we’ve been given the freedom to come up with all these aus, and they’re great. And even when new canon stuff comes along that proves it wrong, they’re still great on their own. Sometimes, when people ship these things, they’re not shipping it because they LIKE abusive relationships, they’re doing it in spite of it because they got attatched to their own version of the characters and they make it their own, non-abusive thing.

Sorry this was so long but i hope this gets rid of your fear of me like actually being a fuckin creep and shipping something actually nasty. I really don’t want people to think that about me lmao and it’s not at all what Vanilliam is to me or my friends.

That being said, since you mentioned me making a cool character to ship with him, I AM making my own version of Mrs Afton and she’s. also evil and in on the murders and she’s a powerful goth milf?? so uh??? if you’re still uncomfortable with Vanilliam, stay tuned for that??????? lmao

[telesthisia]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG.

[Pictured: me coming into this blog when i get motivation] 

SPEED: DON’T TRUST THIS BECAUSE AT THIS POINT, AMBER SIGHTINGS ARE LIKE CRYPTID SIGHTINGS!!! I only come to my blog bloody mary style, meaning you gotta make a summoning circle say “amber do your drafts” three times and I’ll come running. BUT!!! UH! I honestly can’t tell at this moment in time because I don’t spend too much time on the internet! I’m fickle as fUCK so it can range between.... a week for a response to a month and I’m sorry!! 

REPLIES: Depends on my partner! I tend to mirror their response, but with me more is more because sometimes I can just ramble in my writings and add too much fluff to my replies. 

STARTERS: I SUCK!!! STARTER MACHINE BROKEN! It’s funny because I used to be good about this but I feel like I need to mildly plot things out now this way it can give both my partner and i a thread to work off on. I do like starters from ask memes though they can provide good situations. I just need something happening in a thread, domestic/talky talk threads are fine but I want more oompf you feel? 

INBOX: IT’S UH.... FULL old memes and anons and other things. Ye! I need to be better with answering things tho orz. 

SELECTIVITY: HIGHLY!  It’s for my own sanity at this point rather than being a snob, because trust me my writing is nothing special. If the person has good characterization, fun content, interacts with mutuals ooc through funny posts, interesting headcanons and just a good vibe I’m totally in! I typically don’t follow if I don’t see writing styles match, uncut posts (this is a big one) or purple prose (another big one, I am a hoe for metaphors that tie into themes but how can I take the 4000 metaphors you throw at me seriously when your writing is at a full 100?)/.

WISHLIST: ME SLAMMING DOWN MY BOOKS well I have tons of fun AUs. I may not be good at starters but building foundations of a new universe and then building it up with partners is always so much fun! I made a neato Viking AU for OOT Zelda where she’s hunted down to stop Ragnarok since it’s believed she has the powers too..... I believe I’d like a cyberpunk sorta thing with this Zelda! Or Barrier Maiden who’s actually an Apocalypse Maiden sealed away by the sages AU that I have cooking up because Zelda is typically a barrier maiden so why not switch things up a notch where she is still the pillar of the world but carries a great power that could more or less destroy the world.... in case you can’t tell I have some heartbreaking ideas that include world destruction idk why. A good old dungeon exploring thread is always a lot of fun to write out! I’d also love to do some fun ship threads too! And fun shippy ship AUs, like one time with my old ship partner we had a reverse AU where Link was the prince and Zelda the maid and they fell in love despite circumstances because their relationship wouldn’t be possible due to class difference and the obligations that Link has a prince to marry out of strengthening a neighboring nation. I do have all sorts of shipping AU, I have a mythology AU going on in a discord rp for crying out loud! It won’t be coffee shop AU that’s for sure.

HONEST NOTE: I’m slow. But I truly do appreciate the partners who’ve stuck with me throughout the months or years or however long you’ve been on this crazy ride with me for! I believe that RP should be treated as a hobby rather than something you gotta do just to meet some sort of weird quota we have as a community when really, we should just chill. I understand being super excited for threads and all but understand that behind the computer screen, is a person. That said I don’t have plans leaving unless I say I am, don’t take the three months of absence of me going away forever ;v;

[radiovisual]

✪ (GIMME THAT FRIENDSHIP STUFF)

((OK SO i dont personally know your version of Al That well, so these Might sorta end up just look like a Wishlist of Possibilities, but by GOD am i going to try my best!!!--then mayhaps we can discuss more specific realistic tidbits/u can correct me on things I might get incorrect in dms 👀👉👈

Platonic Headcanons

My Alastor is MUCH less touch averse than most others--it isnt so much that he hates touch altogether, he just needs a Warning first--which unfortunately may translate to him actually being Worse than canon Alastor is about invading other's personal space! Basically what I'm saying is that you're Al may want to prepare to dodge getting his cheeks pinched

That said tho, if he's directly Asked to back off, he really will try too! He just gets excited and forgets sometimes!

He's also would probably be Much more willing to open up to a Fellow Alastor, assuming they'll all just Know where he's coming from whenever he thinks or does things--it will be up to you to decide if your Al Does upon hearing whatever nonsensical drivel he starts rattling on about

Your Al would also have Free Reign within Alastor's territory and home on the Infernal Bayou--by virtue of being "the same person", My Al and his followers would automatically welcome into the Family the same way they'd welcome (almost) anyone else who died a citizen of Lousiana on Earth!

Other Alastors won't get torn apart by the KittyGator! He is safe from her 100 lb bite unless/until he becomes a threat to My Al or his community uwu

Shippy Headcanons 🥺👉👈

My Al is VERY aro--but once he considers you a Close friend, he is ride or die. And down to fuck also, if that's what they're interested in.

If your Al were to be very Blatant about having a Romantic interest in mine, she would be very much on Guard about it at first--but likely won't outright Reject him, because he's dealt with extremely unpleasant things happening after rejecting men before.

However, if you're Al tried to keep it hush-hush and it Accidentally came out, my Al would be much kinder and will try to let him down easy--while also teetering on the edge of b e g g i n g to stay friends. He does not like losing friends, especially not to reasons directly related to Him, that he could have 'technically' fixed

Did i mention he's ride or die? He's so ride or die its unreal. If your Al gets mine in his corner hes going to be damn near Impossible to remove. Hes a very loyal friend when given the chance, and he wants those chances.

[lgbtcyrus]

Keep a Lid on It

CYRUS’ STORYLINE WAS MENTIONED MULTIPLE TIMES GOD BLESS

HE ADDRESSED HOW HE WASN’T HAPPY LAST TIME ANDI GAVE JONAH THE BRACELET

BUFFY OFFERED HIM THE CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT THIS TIME

HUGGING JONAH USED TO MAKE HIS HEART RACE

HE ADDRESSED HOW HARD IT WAS FOR HIM TO TELL BUFFY ABOUT HIS CRUSH ON JONAH

AHHH I’M JUST SO HAPPY but ok ok now moving onto other parts of the episode...

clearly i started shipping tyrus at just the right time lmao (still ship jyrus too tho, more on that in a few points)

i’m actually quite relieved cyrus doesn’t have a crush on jonah anymore, only because he hasn’t been acting like it recently, and i much prefer this explanation to “disney channel wouldn’t let him”

however, i still think jonah might have a crush on cyrus, based pretty much only on asher’s portrayal of him. as i saw someone on instagram put it, “if jonah doesn’t have a crush on cyrus, then asher has a crush on josh” (which is just a joke about his facial expressions ok no shippy actors)

there is a part of me though that’s also sad cyrus no longer likes jonah, partially because i do still ship them, and partially because jyrus has been around since the beginning of the show and it sorta feels like the end of an era in a way??

now that being said, PLEASE DON’T STOP WATCHING THE SHOW JUST BECAUSE OF JYRUS!!! andi mack doing well means more shows like it in the future, plus that would be so unfair to the amazing cast, and in the end CYRUS IS STILL GETTING A BOYFRIEND CMON GUYS

i honestly don’t know how i feel about juffy. i always kinda liked the dynamic of andi and cyrus being blinded by their love for him and buffy like calling him out on his bs, but i guess it could be a healthy relationship because maybe she’d actually like, stand up to him, y’know? and at least her crush on him would make sense, cause it clearly came from the whole time capsule thing

awww marty has a girlfriend, i’m happy for him

THE MACK FAMILY IS THE CUTEST FAMILY TO EVER EXIST EVER

THE RETURN ON THE MEMORY GAME YASSS

A FAMILY THAT COOKS TOGETHER IS ADORABLE TOGETHER

ham’s leaving nooo😭

morgan’s finally gonna be exposed for the little brat thief she is next episode and i am HERE FOR IT

AMBER RETURNS NEXT EPISODE