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sameschmidtdiffname · 10 months ago

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Tumblr WILL NOT let me post the fic and this ask at the same time and I've tried legit five times. So THANK YOU anon for the request and I'm sorry for the weirdness in uploading. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this!

My Ghost.

Billy x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: You don't know what happened that night. Things were fine, life was good, then your partner is on the news for all sorts of shit you never would've thought him capable of the day prior. He was dead, he was evil, and you were trying to move on. But what's the proper etiquette when the dead show up on your door unannounced?

Tags: No use of Y/N, hurt/comfort, fake death, mentions of drinking, drug use/dealing, grieving, arguing, cursing, flashbacks, brief suggestive scenes, suicidal thoughts.

Other Works in This Series: 'Repentance' (Prequel to 'My Ghost') • 'Lapses' (Sequel to 'My Ghost')

Notes: The way I've been trying to upload this for two hours. Oh my fucking God. Anyways, everyone say thank you to anon for getting me to write something that doesn't make God cry.

-¤°》◇《°¤-

I'm not hard to please, but I'm not desperate despite what the rumors may say.

People enjoy gossip. People who don't know fuck all about you. And my standards are fine. Were fine. And I don't mean standards such as 'buys me flowers everyday' or 'doesn't deal coke.' I mean standards such as 'is a decent fucking person.'

"That's what I thought you were up until all of this fucking... disappearing for months!" I scream, anger fueling me. I don't let the other emotions win out, don't let them have a say. Because if I do, I'll be too conflicted and overwhelmed and then I'm gonna cry, and that's not fair.

People had warned me he was trouble. Terms such as 'wannabe cowboy,' 'rebel without a cause' were tossed around in warning. But to me, he was just Billy.

Then he was dead.

Now, he was here. He showed up at my door nine months after leaving me with a small little keychain on the kitchen table and a soft kiss on my forehead, saying he had some plans for that evening. But he'll be back soon.

Then he was on the news. And a gas station blew up. Gangs, stolen vehicles. He was probably dead. Things would be easier if he was dead.

Fine. Maybe I initially ignored warning signs. Maybe I was distracted by his handsome side profile, too busy admiring his nose to notice the occasions it was dusted with the trace of a fine powder. Maybe his hands were too beautiful for me to realize they were slipping money to men in dark jackets when we went out to the rougher parts of town. But he was mine and I was his, and overall he was a good person.

He was alive. He was alive and I was mad because if he was dead then at least it would be valid that for nine months I have had to deal with the accusatory stares of our neighbors assuming I knew, the pity from my loved ones, and the betrayel that kept me awake at night. It would mean he hadn't left me to deal with his repercussions, that maybe there was a valid excuse. An undiagnosed brain tumor that finally gave way to insanity, a gun to his head. Something that was not the worst case scenario of just... being an awful person. I could let his things rest around the house undisturbed, hiding from the world and waiting to find the courage to join him one day and living in denial in the meantime. What the fuck was all of this?

"I couldn't tell you," he keeps saying. "It was better if you knew nothing until I was sure I could come get you."

"Why didn't you just take me with you from the start?" I ask. I've been pacing the floor for the past twenty minutes ever since he showed up. It was better than throwing every breakable object in the cheap, worn down shack of a house at him, which was my second instinct. My first was to pull him into my arms, draw the curtains shut and hide him away so that he'll never leave again. Like an idiot.

He laughs bitterly. "You would not be asking that if you knew what the fuck I went through," he says. His words sound like they should be angry, but there's this lightness to them like he can't let himself think too much about it. It just makes me angrier.

"Don't fucking laugh!" I snap. "Do you think any of this is funny?"

"I think you're funny when you're mad," he deflects, smiling. "You got this whole routine. Pacing, nose twitching. I like the Shirley Temple stomps, like you're a kid."

I groan loudly, the noise almost sounding like a low scream in my throat.

"You owed money to fucking- who?" I yell.

"The details don't matter-"

"When I have been grieving your death for nine months, they fucking matter!" I snap. His brows furrow, his hands mid air as if to say 'the fuck did I do?'

"You know me, okay? I don't get caught," he says as though it were obvious.

"I know fucking nothing!" I practically scream.

When we met he was just a guy at a bar, handsome, wearing that same ridiculous jacket that I couldn't help but stroke the white fluff on, tequila running through my veins.

"Can I help you?" He asked, smirking.

"Just wanted to see what it felt like," I said.

"Wanna feel something else?" He asked, his chin resting on his head.

"Oh, fucking gross. Fuck o-"

"I was talking about this," he said, whipping out his keys to show off an odd, weirdly shaped keychain with short, stiff fuzz. "Don't call me a pervert just cause you're one."

He was smiling. It was an easy smile. Careless, happy with life. I loved that smile. It meant things were always alright as long as he was smiling.

He was smiling on the photo they used for the manhunt.

We'd danced the whole night. He didn't know hardly any of the songs, causing him to be off beat. I was too drunk to keep time, so I stepped on his leather boots enough times there was a visible scuff on the top of one by the end of the night. I always felt bad, offering to replace or help pay to fix it. He wouldn't let me.

"They're a keepsake," he'd insist. "A living memory." He wore them everyday.

He's wearing sneakers, today.

At the end of the night, I stumbled out of the bar with a note in my coat pocket. It took two weeks for me to wear that coat again, and when I found the slip I'd almost thrown it away, assuming it was something dumb. But when I saw the worst handwriting in the world displaying a number belonging to someone named 'Keychain Guy,' I almost couldn't wait to call.

"Bullshit," Billy snaps. "You know me better than anyone."

"Don't say that," I say, putting a hand out protectively to keep him away. "That's exactly why everyone thinks I was just fine with that whole- fucked up thing!"

A gas station burned. A stolen vehicle. People were dead. People were dead.

Billy was presumed dead.

There was no funeral. He had no family, and none of mine wanted to put money into something that would be protested by the whole town anyways. No body to bury, nothing to do but gather up his things and smoke what remained in his stash until people came to nurse me back to life. By that point there wasn't even relief in drugs. The taste simply reminded me of better times cooking in the kitchen as we blew the smoke into each others faces, or worse. Better. Whatever.

I never questioned when Billy went out of town. I knew his work had details I didn't want nor need to know. Money was tight. But Billy always came home with little things whenever he went on unexpected trips. Knick knacks, snacks, some item I'd seen at the store and picked up to make a comment about. Had he been particularly forthcoming about his dealing when we started dating? No. He said he worked for a local small business, which technically isn't untrue. But about six months in, he was the one who approached me and sat me down at the small, rickty round table to tell me the truth. And that's what mattered to me. The economy is shit and it's not like it was meth, so who am I to judge?

About a year into it, I was begging for him to do something else.

"I don't like you disappearing," I told him. "I'm scared one day you're gonna piss someone off and that'll be the end. Then what am I gonna do?"

"Then you're gonna make sure they don't fuck up my face during the embalming process for the funeral," Billy said around his hand rolled cigarette. I whip the small dish towel at him, making him laugh and protect his small ashtray that I made him for Christmas the year prior. It was shitty, uneven, and I'm 99% sure a fire hazard. But he wouldn't use any other ones unless I was the one who bought them for him, and even then he favored this one. 'When this place goes up in flames,' I thought, 'I'll regret that gift.'

I'd kept it by the kitchen window every day since he'd died. "Died." It was his spot.

He moves to sit there now, looking in his pockets for the small box of prerolled cigarettes.

"People know you weren't involved," he says dismissively.

"Your friends know. What about the old ladies at church? The checkout clerks at the store? How about the fucking mailman?" I shout, convinced I'm still talking to the dead. "You think they know the ins and outs of the local psychos support group?" I ask, gesturing and stepping closer.

I was the local outcast now. Not to be trusted, not worth kindness. Shame was my title, and when Billy appeared on my doorstep at an hour where only I was awake I was sure I'd caught the same awful disease that must have been what sent him spiraling that winter day. It wasn't until he pushed the door open fully, taking me into his arms and pressing a warm kiss to my lips that I knew he was real. It was a feeling I was in the early stages of forgetting, blurry and cold. But here he was, the stubble on his chin a bit longer and his ears missing the small hoops that had glittered in the sunlight when he walked out the door.

Then I'd pushed him away. And the fight began.

"I'm not a fucking psycho," he argues. His hands pat around his outfit, searching. "You got a lighter?"

"Fuck off." I kept his favorite in my left pocket. I had to be careful what things of his I wore or kept on my person. People close to me knew I would have never condoned his actions, but even they had glared at me in the early wake of Billy's death when I dared to wear one of his shirts out of the house, or more commonly one of his thick leather jackets. But a lighter can be hidden, and unless you had borrowed it you wouldn't know it had specifically been his. So I kept it with me all the time, just feeling it next to my skin with the only barrier being the fabric of my pocket. Without a thought, I cover the small item as though he can see right through me. Picking up on the hint, he's rises from the table and begins walking over to me.

"Don't be a dick, just let me borrow it," he says, holding out his hand.

"Fuck off," I snap.

"You've said that. I just need it for two seconds," he says as his hands begin to gently grab at me, one on my shoulder and the other dipping into my pocket.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell, slapping at him.

"Just let me have-"

He cuts himself off as he pulls out the lighter from my pocket, his thumb grazing over the printed picture. The Statue of David. He'd bought because it made us laugh. One side was the regular statue, the other a close up of its small genitals with cursive writing underneath spelling the art piece's name.

"Oh," Billy says quietly.

We stand for a moment, silent. He doesn't seem sure what to do. My lungs burn with unheaved sobs. I fucking hate this.

"You were gonna come back," I finally say quietly. I hate how my voice sounds when I'm upset. I hate that I'm wearing his dogtag, an item he'd bought at a World War II museum in middle school that he gave me for our first Christmas because we were both too broke to actually buy each other anything, hence the poorly made ashtray. I hate that when I sleep at night it's in his clothes that I rarely wash because the idea of losing his smell makes me want to scream. I hate that his scent is different from the bottle of cologne he kept next to my makeup, one time spilling all over the entire bathroom counter because we'd gotten too wrapped up in each other, dragging our nails down each others backs and watching ourselves in the mirror until one wrong move of my hand revealed he'd been a bit too careless about screwing the lid back on earlier in the day. I'd always warned him about that.

I'd been in the bathroom putting on my permanently scented blush when I got the text.

"I was going to," he said softly. "Then I couldn't."

"So what?" I say, not daring to turn and face him, choosing instead to stare at where the cheap, old wood paneling of the wall meets the shaggy, stained carpet that you have to wear shoes on due to the staples that have begun sticking out of it. "You just propose to someone and then pretend to die?"

Valentines Day was an awfully cheesy day to do it. So it's a good thing it was a technicality.

The day had been lovely. Billy had saved up a little to take me to a local hibachi place, telling me to wear my best outfit and jewelry. It was slightly overkill, but it's the small things in life, isn't it?

We'd come home with a bottle of wine, a low budget movie to ignore and hands searching desperately for each other.

"I love you," he'd said between pants. "You're mine."

"Buy a ring," I'd dared. Our minds were buzzed, the bottle half empty and our clothes thrown away without care. Took me weeks to find his both of his socks.

I hadn't meant for him to take it seriously. But I guess he decided it was time.

Two days later I thought it was odd when he walked into the house with my favorite lunch. It wasn't expensive really, we just usually got it for special occasions or days that had been mentally harder for me. And things were normal that day. I was getting ready for my shift, running around like I always do trying to make sure I've got everything.

"Your coffee's in the cup, will you just sit down?" He laughed, watching me. I quickly collected the take out box, sipping my coffee and wincing over its temperature.

"Fuck, that burns," I cursed. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to get me to sit at the table. "Baby, I can't," I protested softly, but I was laughing. He was peppering me in kisses, giving me those big puppy dog eyes everyone knew were my weakness. He wanted for nothing so long as he looked at me just like that.

"Just this once," he asked, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I couldn't help the blush and giggle that rose from me, but I also couldn't be late.

"I'll make up for it," I promised, slipping away and running into the bedroom to get my shoes. When I ran back in, pulling them on and coming to kiss him goodbye, I nearly fell over when I saw him on one knee, smiling and looking at me like 'I told you so.'

I don't like how itchy the ring feels on my middle finger as I twirl it in thought.

"You don't know what happened," he pleaded, his hands still on me. "If you would just listen to me-"

"The news gave a pretty good description, William. I don't think there's missing pieces in my head, unlike you," I say coldly, detaching from myself so to not have to deal with my emotions. This makes him stiffen, pulling away and resuming his place at the kitchen table, lighting his cigarette and placing the ashtray in front of him like nothing has changed when everything has.

It feels like I'm out of time. Like I've been shoved into a picture of what my life looked like before. Except the house was never this clean, clothes always scattered about. Not just in a fit of passion, we just had bad habits when it came to picking up. Billy would always say the chairs are more decorations then they are seats, anyways. "Why would you use those when you have such a nice seat here?" He'd ask, wiggling his hips and placing his hands behind his head, making me laugh.

Billy never looked so well put together in the house, usually in a wife beater and his hair framing his face. He'd always joked he looked like a dirty hippie around me, and I'd always show him how much I liked that. Not that he looked fantastic now. When we went out he was known for putting in effort. He always had more hair products than me, which I found funny. Though he refused makeup. Once I'd managed to talk him into eyeliner. 'Guyliner' I'd teased. He liked it, but said it should stay between us with a wink before asking where to get dinner. Now he sits before me in clothes obviously stolen to help him look unremarkable, his hair shaggy and uncut, so different from the man I loved.

"Who are you?" I asked him. That man didn't shrink away from accountability.

He sighed, smoke swirling around him as he wipes his face with his hand.

"I don't know. Can't tell if I'm better or worse, to be honest," he admits softly. His eyes look haunted, heavy bags underneath. It's the way his shoulders sag as though his will to go on is slowly draining from him in this very moment that makes me want to break now. Like whatever reason he had for still going was fruitless.

I didn't like the way we mirrored each other like this.

I slowly scuff my feet towards him, tapping my fingers against the back of the wooden chair before pulling it out to sit across from him. It's a start.

"So if you tell me," I say slowly. "Am I going to wish you were dead?"

He doesn't look at me. "I don't know."

Great.

The night is long. Morning comes without an invitation, the blue sky beginning to glow through the shitty blinders I always told Billy we should replace one day. I understand less than when we started, we've both cried more than once, and between our fingers is cigarette stubs and the feeling of each others skin, hands laced together as though another click of an old remote to an outdated TV with batteries you had to rub against your shirt to make work would reveal the smouldering remains of a gas station, displaying the estimated body count and deeming one of us as a devil of the worst kind, ripping us apart.

"Jesus," I say when it's over.

"Yeah," he says. "So, needless to say, my anxiety is shit now."

It isn't funny. It's a tragic statement. But when we both glance into the others eyes, it's his small little smirk that makes me laugh like I haven't since my mother sent me the local news report with his picture covering the front page. The same one that shows everything is still okay.

"I'm sorry," I say. Then the laughing turns into sobbing, and then I can't breathe. And I really am sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't help him. I'm sorry he went out on a romantic whim and borrowed money he shouldn't have for the ring I was too ashamed to wear on the proper finger. I'm sorry he couldn't come back for me. And I'm sorry for hating him when he showed up unannounced at my door.

"Hey," he says gently, standing and crossing to me, removing his jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders to comfort me. It's unfamiliar, evidence of a life he wouldn't have led if he had just stayed by me and it upsets me, but his lips against my wet cheeks ground me, familiar and soothing me, coaxing me into wrapping my arms around him, clawing my trembling fingers through his hair. Still soft. Still combed.

"You can't stay here," I choke out.

"I know," he says quietly. There's nothing for a long time, our bodies shaking as we cling to each other. In our arms are the unspoken months of grief. Of his longing for our home, of my insanity. Death looms over the furniture, light hidden away lest it take away my sacred treasures I'd used to keep his spirit close to me.

"I can't lose you again," I say.

"I know," he says, smelling my hair and placing a soft kiss on top of my head. "But I can't promise stability if you follow me."

My brows furrow, my mind racing in confusion, my hopes rising. Follow?

"I know a guy," he says quickly, his arms tighter as if scared I'll turn away. "Says he can get me a new identity and a one way ticket to somewhere. I don't know where yet, but it's worth a try."

My fingers trace his back, swirling invisible patterns over his shirt. He'd always liked that after a rough day. I can feel the tension begin to slowly fall away from him at the contact, his breathing growing deeper and more steady. "And you want me to come?"

"Need," he corrects. "I don't regret leaving you, but I can't stay away. Even if it's more kind to let you mourn and find a better life."

A new life. A new identity. New name, new everything.

Maybe I am insane. Maybe this exactly the kind of mental break Billy had that day. Maybe I was doomed to follow his spirit no matter what. Maybe this is a second chance. Maybe God had granted me a mercy I'll never be able to repay, no matter how many night I spend in worship at a church or between this man's legs. Maybe I'd spend every day looking over my shoulder, paranoid and eventually turning cruel to strangers so to keep this one person everyone told me to let go of from the very beginning.

But the same Billy.

"Can he do a marriage license?" I ask after a long silence. I can hear him laugh, pulling away to look at me.

"That eager?" He asks softly, his eyes gentle, thumb stroking my cheek. I lean into his touch, softly placing a kiss on his palm.

▪︎》◇《▪︎

"Well," I say, "I already have the ring."

Masterlist

As cute as this was, please have better standards than the Reader I wrote in this fic. No man is worth that. I am DEADASS. Anyways, love y'all <3

#josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson x reader #josh hutcherson fanfic #josh hutcherson x you #jhutch #billy burn #billy burn x you #billy burn x reader #billy burn 2019 #burn 2019 #burn movie 2019 #billy x reader

178 notes · View notes

floralpascal · 1 year ago

Note

Hiii I love you work of Frankie <3 a request if you’re up for it, since I love your writing style and how you present him hehe

Something inspired by Billie’s Bossa Nova lines:

“You better lock your phone,

And look at me when we’re alone,

Won’t take a lot to get you going,

I’m sorry if it’s torture though,

I know I know”

Idk I see a shy Frankie and reader tilting his face towards her with her finger and whispering in his ear and sksksk go crazy please

You're an absolute genius for this idea! I love this song sooo much and my mind went wild with incorporating it into the story. I absolutely did not expect it to take this long or to write this much when I started. I also didn't expect this to turn into smut but here we are! I hope you like it!!

Bossa Nova

Summary: You and Frankie are both head-over-heels for each other... only neither of you realize the other is interested. When Santi sets you both up with mystery dates, you're both surprised to find that Santi has set you up with each other.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Word Count: 6.3k

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: kissing, fingering, protected p-in-v sex, creampie

You shouldn’t have told Santi about it. You should’ve just kept your mouth shut. But how were you supposed to know that your vent session would lead to this?

The crux of the issue was that your dating life was beyond fruitless. Date after date, it always went the same. Either the spark wasn’t there, the conversation was as easy as pulling teeth, or the guy wouldn’t get off his damn phone long enough to genuinely interact with you. It had left you feeling more than a little frustrated. Had every good guy already been snatched up and now all you had to pick from were the leftovers?

Or was it you? Was it the fact that the only guy you wanted to go on a date with was Santi’s best friend? You had been introduced to Frankie at one of Santi’s infamous cookouts. The same night that Santi had accidentally burnt your hamburgers to a crisp, you had met the sweetest man in the world. He had been quiet back then, the conversation a bit awkward. But after multiple nights out with Frankie, Santi, and the Miller brothers, you had slowly gotten to know Frankie better. And damn it he was driving you insane. Despite how down bad you were for him, it never went anywhere.

Of course the one guy you wanted didn’t feel the same.

“There’s just no single guy out there who actually wants to talk,” you lamented to your friend, Santi, one day. You hadn’t meant to rant like this when you had invited him over for dinner so the two of you could catch up. But after he asked how your last date had gone, a quizzical eyebrow raised from across the kitchen table, you hadn’t been able to stop from telling him. You continued, “No one even seems to care to be on the date at all. It’s like they don’t have anything better to do, so going on a date with me is their next best option, you know?”

Santi — who had been listening to your rant sympathetically for about five minutes — suddenly scrunched his eyebrows before a scheming smile slowly spread across his lips.

You knew that look from a mile away.

“No, no, no!” You warned preemptively. “Whatever crazy idea you just had: no.”

“What if I said I knew a great guy who’s single and thoughtful and would be perfect for you?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. Of course he would try to set you up. “Santi, no. I appreciate it but I’m done with the dating scene. I’ve embarrassed myself enough. I give up.”

He shook his head, that annoying grin still plastered to his face as he pointed his fork at you. “Nope, no quitter talk. I’m telling you, you’ll love this guy. I can’t believe I never realized how perfect you’d be for each other before now!”

“Santi-”

“Uh-uh. This is happening. You’re free on Friday, right? You’re going on a date with him. It’s a crime that you haven’t already.”

“What’s his name?” You asked. “You haven’t even said who it is.”

Santi shook his head again, saying, “That’s gonna be a surprise.”

You tried to explain that you were over the disappointment of dating and that going out with a mystery guy didn’t sound much more promising than any of your past dates. But it didn’t matter. Santi had set his mind on it.

“He’s been having bad luck on dates just like you have,” he explained as he whipped out his phone, presumably sending a text to the guy about this arrangement.

“Santi, seriously, I don’t know about this…”

“What’s the matter?”

“Usually when dates go bad, the one bright side is that I know I’ll never see the guy again. I don’t know him or anyone else that knows him, so there won’t be any fallout when things go bad. Won’t it be weird for us and you if things don’t go well?”

He shook his head with decisive confidence before clicking his phone off. “That’s the thing, it won’t go badly. I’m telling you, it’ll be the best date of your life. You’ve got to trust me on this. It’s gonna be great.”

You looked at the ceiling, mulling this all over as you tapped the edge of your empty plate. Almost completely fed up with the idea of dating, the last thing you wanted was another failed date. But Santi was dead-set on it and seemed to truly believe it was something that could work. And simply waiting for love to come your way was getting both boring and disheartening.

After considering everything for a moment, you asked, “He’s not going to be some murderous creep, right?”

Santi beamed, seemingly taking your question as confirmation that you were interested in the date. “Nah, you’ll love him. I trust him with my life.”

You raised an eyebrow. Santi wasn’t the kind of man who said that he trusted someone with his life unless he really meant it.

Bing!

Santi looked down at his phone before smiling up at you again. “He’s in. How does Friday at seven sound?”

“I said no.”

Santi had been on Frankie’s ass for days now. When Frankie had gotten that text from him a few days ago — You down for a date with a nice, cute friend of mine? — he hadn’t known the headache that would ensue when he turned the offer down. Santi refused to tell him who the date was with, asserting that he would love the mystery woman. Unsatisfied with Frankie’s rejection, Santi had hounded him every day since, even going so far as to show up at his house today out of the blue. Frankie had heaved a long-suffered sigh when he saw Santi’s red Jeep pull up his driveway.

“Come on, Fish,” Santi groaned, exasperatedly following Frankie around his dimly lit garage as he worked on his truck. “She’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s bold. I’m telling you, you’ll both hit it off.”

Frankie merely sighed as he sifted around his toolbox for a socket. He hadn’t had much luck in the dating department for years. Either the woman he was with didn’t seem to be that interested in him or it got too awkward as the conversation petered out. The best stories he had were Army stories, but those didn’t tend to go over well with dates. He was a man who was rough around the edges, simple, middle aged, and quieter than most. In short, he didn’t think he was much for anyone to get excited about anyways. He wasn’t the kind of guy that wowed someone on a blind date.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go on the date, it was the fact that he wanted more than a date. He wanted something real. A love that gripped his soul, that left him spinning, that left him losing his bearings. Maybe he wasn’t a sentimental man, but he was a bit of a hopeless romantic at heart. He just didn’t think that any of that stuff was ever meant for him, and that made every failed date even more painful.

In reality, Frankie hated how he felt after every failed date. It tanked his self-esteem more than he cared to admit. He didn’t think he could take it again. It didn’t help that — when it came to dating — Frankie was on the shyer side. Though, maybe that had something to do with the whole self-esteem issue, too. At one point in his life, he had been much more confident in the dating area. However, after a few decades, a couple of failed serious relationships, and plenty of terrible dates, that confidence was quickly waning.

What made it worse was that the woman he really wanted was so unattainable it hurt. Every time he saw you at one of Santi’s cookouts or a night out at the bars, he felt that familiar pang in his chest. You were the opposite of Frankie, so confident and funny and gorgeous. Every time your hand brushed over his arm his heart almost gave out. Every time you smiled, he couldn’t look away. When you were in the room, you were the center of his attention, no matter how hard he tried to pay attention to anything else. The fact was that no other woman on any date had ever made him feel like you did. No other woman was ever you.

It was that thought that had caused him to tell Santi no. He was sure the mystery woman was pretty and funny and whatever else Santi said, but the fact of the matter was that she wasn’t you. It didn’t matter that you didn’t seem to be interested in Frankie like that, he had fallen for you all the same. And now he couldn’t seem to be interested in anyone else.

“What else do I have to say, man?” Santi questioned, practically pleading as Frankie finally closed his hand around the cool metal of the socket he had been looking for.

“Nothing,” Frankie responded, trying not to sound as down as he felt. “It’ll end just like all the others. I’m just not interested.”

He hated to let down his best friend, especially when he seemed so invested in this idea, but it was just too much for Frankie. After his last date, he had deleted all the dating apps from his phone and called it quits. He hadn’t told Santi this both because of how lame he would sound and because he knew that he would try to set him up exactly like this. Santi, being as extroverted as he was, knew a lot of women and once he started setting Frankie up, he wouldn’t stop until Frankie found someone.

What Santi didn’t understand was that he had already fucked up Frankie’s love life enough when he introduced him to you that first night on his back deck. From that moment on, Frankie hadn’t been interested in anyone else. Whoever had come up with the term falling in love had been right because meeting you had felt almost exactly like a helicopter going down in a tailspin. One second, all was fine. The next, he was hurtling toward the ground.

He couldn’t tell Santi that he was madly in love with you either. It would only make things even worse when Santi inevitably meddled. Frankie didn’t think he would survive embarrassment like that, especially when you were much too good for him. Like there was any way in hell you felt the same as he did.

“You’re both so goddamn stubborn,” Santi groaned to himself before taking a breath and pressing at his brow. Frankie slid underneath his truck again and started to work. For a moment, he actually thought he had won this dispute, Santi uncharacteristically quiet as he leaned against the old frame of the truck. But after a beat of silence, Santi sighed and called pointedly, “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’ve already told her you’ll meet her at seven tonight.”

Without thinking, Frankie leaned up and cried, “You what-?” before promptly smacking his head against the metal above him. He scooted out from under the truck, holding his head and cursing. When he found that he didn’t have any serious injury, he trained his fury on Santi again. “Dude? Seriously?”

Santi, who was holding back from laughing at Frankie’s outburst, simply put his hands up. “I knew you were gonna pull this shit, so I told her you’d already said yes.”

A barrage of questions ran through his mind. Why would you do that? Why didn’t you mention that at the start? How do I get out of this now? However the only question he was able to get out was, “What the fuck, man?”

“You’ve gotta trust me on this one, Fish! You can’t back out now.”

Frankie grumbled, “I never even agreed to be in this.”

Santi simply continued on, seemingly ignoring him at this point. “It’s at that one grill place on the West side of town that Benny likes. You still have that shirt you wore to Benny’s birthday dinner? Wear that one. It’s not too formal but it looks good.”

“Fine. Fine. I’ll do it. But when this goes sideways, it’s on you.”

“When this goes perfectly,” Santi countered, “you better make me best man at the wedding.”

Frankie didn’t know how to tell him that he’d be lucky to even make it through the date, let alone get to anything resembling a relationship.

“You’re really gonna do it?” Santi asked skeptically. “You’re not lying?”

Frankie sighed as he defeatedly tossed his socket back into the open toolbox, letting it loudly clang against the contents of the box. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice in this situation. “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

Santi beamed before clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re gonna thank me for this tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Frankie replied, sarcasm dripping from the word. If anything, he thought he would be embarrassed beyond belief tomorrow after Santi would inevitably ask how it went.

Fuck. Frankie didn’t think he had it in him to go through all the disappointment again. Much less to have his best friend see it.

As Santi went to leave, he yelled over his shoulder, “Oh, and she’s not scared away by Army stories either. I’ve already told her plenty.”

Frankie’s stomach sank. “You didn’t tell her about the time I was drunk in Texas, did you?”

Santi only gave him an evil smile as he continued to back away, shrugging. “She thought it was funny.”

Later that night, Frankie sat at a table at Nino’s Bar & Grill, clad in the blue button-down Santi insisted he wear as he anxiously waited for his mystery date to arrive. In the hours since Santi had first roped him into this date, the man had never stopped texting him about her, all the while keeping her identity a secret. His insistence that this would be the best date ever had Frankie somewhat dreading the ultimate letdown that was coming.

Hell, she was already ten minutes late. Maybe, he thought, she had already spared him from the date by standing him up. It certainly wouldn’t be the worst end to a date that he’d ever had.

Suddenly, a text came through from Santi. Frankie stared at it, reading it again and again but it was just as confusing every time.

Did you seriously think I hadn’t noticed the way you look at her?

After a second, he sent back a simple: What??

He sighed as he looked at his watch again. Maybe he should just go home, crack open a beer, and get back to work on his truck. It didn’t seem like-

“Frankie?”

His attention snapped up from the tabletop to find a gorgeous woman standing above him, the sunset shining through the windows behind her like a colorful halo. She stared at him questioningly, almost in awe.

You. It was you.

He had never thought that those scenes in movies where a guy was tongue-tied seeing a woman was actually something that could happen until his mind was blank and mouth ajar.

Finally, he said your name, practically dumbstruck. “W-what are you doing here?”

You simply laughed sweetly — a beautiful, almost heart-stopping sound. “I, um… I think I may be here for the same reason you are.”

All at once, the reality of everything hit him. Santi. His insistence about this date. The text. Santi knew. He had set this whole thing up because he had known this whole time how Frankie felt about you.

Suddenly, all of Santi’s glowing descriptions of you clicked into place, all of them true and none of them doing you justice. Now, Santi saying that you were pretty felt like a hell of an understatement. He knew that, somewhere, that smug son of a bitch was incredibly proud of himself. Not that Frankie could quite blame him right now.

“Did you know?” Frankie asked, rising from his seat to stand in front of you.

You shook your head. “No. It seems like we were both in the dark here. But… I’m definitely not upset about it now.”

It was at this last part that your eyes met his again, hopeful and searching.

And just like that, in a mere twenty seconds, his whole world tipped on its head. The force of it would have knocked him clean off his feet if he let it — and he nearly did. If he hadn’t already been sure that he was indeed awake, he wouldn’t have quite believed it was really happening. It hit his system like a drug, the new wave of adrenaline filling his head with static. This static wasn’t the absence of thought — not anymore. No, now his head was filled with way too many all at once, each fighting to be heard until there was nothing but chaotic noise.

Then, over it all came a clear fact: you felt the same. Tonight was the chance he never thought he would have. Suddenly, his whole outlook on this date was changed.

“Me, too.” With a small burst of confidence, he admitted, “I… there’s no one else I would’ve wanted to have this with.”

The smile that bloomed on your face was as blinding as the beautiful sunset behind you.

Frankie guided you to your seat, pulling it out for you. Before you sat, you grazed your soft hand across his forearm as you thanked him, the touch sweet and electric.

Remember to fucking breathe, Frankie told himself.

As he made his way back to his seat, you spoke again, “I’m so, so sorry I was late! Traffic was terrible.”

Frankie — who was sure you were worth waiting for — assured you that it was no problem.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was different. You were different from anyone he had ever been on a date with. He couldn’t put a finger on exactly what it was that made you feel so… special.

“So,” he started, trying not to sound as breathless as he felt, “can I buy you a drink?”

You nodded with a smile, giving him a knowing look. “I know you’re a beer man. How about an order for two?”

Goddamn. For the first time in a long time, Frankie felt himself getting his hopes up.

You didn’t think you would ever be able to forgive Santi for this. You had known him for three years and he hadn’t set you up with Frankie like this sooner. All those terrible dates could have been avoided if Santi had just meddled in both of your love lives from the start.

Frankie was ridiculously handsome, endlessly sweet, and not nearly as quiet as he tended to be at Santi’s get-togethers. He had an easy sort of humor, one that was simple yet had you laughing seemingly without even trying. While you had both always just clicked, talking with him tonight made it feel as if you had known each other forever. You were only three hours in and this was already the best date of your life.

The fact that you thought the words only three hours into the date blew your mind. For a long time now, a three hour long date usually had you wishing for the quickest way out. You couldn’t wait to leave the train wreck that it usually was. Now? Three hours didn’t feel like nearly enough. You felt like you were just barely scratching the surface of Frankie, his life, his past. You loved every second you had with him in a way you never thought possible.

You had both quickly fallen into an easy rhythm with each other, all polite questions and light humor. While he was incredibly nice, you never felt as if he was putting on a persona. He was genuine, a trait that was both refreshing and intriguing. With Frankie, what you see is what you get, Santi had once told you. He had been telling the truth. And, damn, you liked what you saw.

Over the hours, your conversation shifted, turning from testing questions into old stories. Frankie, as you already knew, was a great storyteller. Not only was he giving you some seriously embarrassing stories of Santi that had you rolling, he had pictures to back his stories up. For the first time, you were happy to see your date whip out his phone. The pictures were from decades ago and the young, beardless Frankie that looked back from those photos made you smile. He had aged, you mused as you studied his face beside you, like a fine wine. Older and more rugged, but all the more attractive for it.

You slowly slid your chair around to get a better view of his phone inch by inch until you were sat next to him, your thighs touching each other. As he showed you a particularly tame picture of his friends from the army — Santi and the Miller brothers ever present — you could see by the pink that suddenly dusted his cheeks that he was aware of your thigh against his, too. While he didn’t say anything about it, you noticed the way he leaned against you ever so slightly.

He flicked to another photo, one that immediately caught your attention.

“Frankie,” you mused, “You’re so handsome!”

The photo he had flipped to was obviously a more recent one. He stood next to Will, both of them clad in disheveled white button-ups, ties undone around their collars, as they smiled at the camera. An out-of-place weathered ball cap sat on top of Frankie’s head, his curls poking out the bottom. His favorite Standard Oil hat. While out of place, it was fitting for him — a piece that blatantly showed something uniquely him. The final thing that drew your eye, however, was the several undone buttons that led down his front, exposing the tanned plane of his chest.

“Oh. I didn’t- I forgot that was-” he stuttered for a moment. He let out a nervous chuckle before explaining, “This was Will’s wedding. After the wedding, as you can see.”

You smiled. It was endearing the way he had been thrown off guard by this.

“You look ridiculously handsome,” you reiterated, looking at him pointedly.

Frankie flushed under the compliment again, his breathing noticeably picking up. “I- uh- thanks. I had the shirt tailored. And the pants-”

You giggled a bit, drawing his attention to you. Leaning close to his ear, you took a risk as you sweetly whispered, “The suit was nice, but I was talking about you. And the second compliment? I meant that you look ridiculously handsome tonight, too.”

Stunned, he simply held your gaze for a moment, plush pink lips slightly parted as you pulled back to look at him. He looked down at his hands as he mumbled a thank you, a bewildered smile on his lips. Obviously, he wasn’t used to such compliments.

Taking another risk, you brought the tip of your finger to the underside of his chin. Coarse hair tickled your skin as you brought his wide gaze up to yours.

“I mean it,” you assured, your finger dropping so that you could lay it on his shoulder.

“And I mean it when I say you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” He said it breathlessly, your small gestures seemingly overwhelming his ability to breathe. His eyes were on you, wide and bare. “I thought so the day I met you.”

He feels it, too.

The world was still for a moment, the very air suspended between the two of you. The rest of the restaurant had fallen away, leaving only you and Frankie and the few inches between your lips.

All at once, Frankie locked his phone, abandoned it on the table, brought his hand to your cheek, and kissed you hard.

The world tipped.

Kissing Frankie felt like the drop of a rollercoaster, curling up next to the endless warmth of a fire, the joy of visiting an unknown city. All at once.

The force of it all stole the air from your lungs but you didn’t care. You couldn’t. The rush and hum in your veins wouldn’t let you. All you could think about was the movement of his plush lips against yours as your fingers wound into his curls.

It wasn’t a kiss fit for a first date. Yet, somehow, it felt right. Frankie felt right.

Frankie was the first to break, seemingly as breathless as you were. As your hooded eyes fluttered up to meet his, you found him to be as surprised as you were. He looked at you with a hungry sort of wonder before he blinked, a bit of self-consciousness falling across his features. You hadn’t noticed that he had lost that self-consciousness until it was already taking hold again — and if that was what he was like when it was gone, you wanted to see what he was like when he fully let go.

“S-sorry,” he stammered breathily. “I know that was probably too fast.”

You shook your head earnestly, not wanting to allow that self-consciousness of his to take over again. “Not fast enough.”

Hope flashed in his eyes. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “Do you wanna… get out of here?”

You saw Frankie’s eyes go wide and — for a second — thought you had pushed a little too far. But then he was fishing his wallet out of his back pocket as he answered definitively, “I’d love that.”

Now, you could see that same fire that you felt behind his eyes. A fire that filled you with a ridiculous amount of excitement.

He settled the check before you could even offer to pay, but now you were a little more than distracted as butterflies bloomed in your stomach for the first time in a long time.

This wasn’t like you. None of this was like you. You didn’t kiss guys on the first date, much less ask them to bed. Granted, most dates had you running for the door before anything like that could happen, but still. The sentiment stood.

Everything about Frankie was different, though. And the only thing you could really think about right now was having that man under you before the night ended.

When Frankie exited the restaurant with your hand in his, the tension between you two felt like a live wire and his heart was thundering in his chest.

In a quick moment of planning in the parking lot, he found out that the roommate you had mentioned earlier was currently at your place. His place was over a forty minute drive from this restaurant on the other side of the city. While it was doable, it seemed like a lot for how… urgently he needed you.

Just as he was starting to lose hope, your eyes flicked to the side. He watched as you playfully bit your lip, a flash of hope in your eyes. He followed your gaze across the street to see one of the many hotels in the city that he barely paid any mind to.

So that was how he found himself with a key to room 103, your hand in his as he led you through the lobby.

It was all a rushed blur — finding the door, turning the feeble lock on the inside, pressing you against the wall of the small room, your sweet little moans against his mouth. You were all there was.

As much as he had loved your outfit, he liked the sight even more now that you were stripped of it all.

All of his senses were underwater, the world moving too fast for him to keep up. He hadn’t felt like this in a long, long time. He hadn’t wanted to feel like this in a long time. But now, with your fingers twisted into his hair and your body beneath him on the plush mattress, he finally let himself go.

Years ago, Frankie had once been caught in a riptide of the ocean. Having grown up merely a few hours away from the beach, he had known that the current couldn’t be fought. It was too strong, a force of nature one couldn’t hope to go against. It felt a hell of a lot like this. Like you. You had caught him as unsuspecting as the current had that day. Only this time, he didn’t want to get out. He didn’t swim parallel to shore until he could escape your gasp, he only let you drag him out to the depths of an unfamiliar sea.

Frankie’s lips were everywhere. Your lips, your neck, your chest. You closed your eyes, letting the feeling wash over you.

“Frankie,” you whined, voice so breathy you barely recognized it yourself. “Frankie, I need you. I need you right now.”

The warmth of his hand slid up to palm at your breast, his mouth finding yours again.

“You’ve got me,” he assured you, voice deliciously deep and raspy. “I’m yours.”

You would’ve paid more mind to this last part if his free hand hadn’t been sliding down your stomach to your pussy. A gasp escaped you as he toyed with your clit for a moment, rubbing slow circles.

“Fuck, yeah. That’s it,” he mumbled. “You’re so wet already. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.”

As he leaned down to kiss your neck, you felt him slip a finger into your heat. You grabbed at his back, at his hair, lost in the feeling of him as you clung to him like a lifeline. It was slow at first, testing before he began to build up to a steady pace. Already, it wasn’t enough. You needed so much more.

When you bucked your hips looking for more friction, Frankie said, “I know, I know. You’re just so tight, baby. Gotta work you up.”

Much to your dismay, he pulled his finger out for a moment. Bringing his attention back to your clit, he stopped your protest dead in your throat. Then, he slipped two fingers back into you, resuming his pace from before.

He pushed himself up a little, looking first at your face and then down where you took his fingers with lust-blown eyes. Frankie was still in his boxers, but you could see the prominent outline of his hard cock straining against the black fabric.

“Fuck,” he mused, before slipping a third finger into you. You moaned out his name as the familiar coil began to build in your stomach.

“Frankie…Frankie — fuck, baby — I’m gonna come. I’m gonna-”

Suddenly, the air was stolen from your lungs, your mouth open in a silent scream as your orgasm slammed into you. You clenched around Frankie’s fingers, but he kept going, praising you all the while.

“That’s it. That’s it, hermosa. Ride it out.”

Your orgasm lasted a lifetime, Frankie drawing it out of you for a length of time you hadn’t thought possible. Wave after blissful wave.

When you came down, panting and head spinning, you found Frankie popping his fingers in his mouth, eyes closed and moaning a little as he did.

“You even taste sweet,” he mused.

You giggled, pulling him down to kiss you again. After a moment, you pulled away enough to whisper against his lips, “Need these off, Frankie.”

You lightly tugged at the band of his boxers, giving him a hint.

Frankie threw himself backwards, rushing to push the fabric down his legs and discard it to the floor in whatever direction it decided to go.

Oh. Oh, wow.

To say that Frankie was impressive seemed like an understatement. Already flushed and leaking, his cock was both long and thick.

For the first time in your life, you found yourself saying, “I don’t know if it’ll fit.”

You saw Frankie’s mouth twitch up for a moment. “Now you’re just stroking my ego.”

You pushed yourself up to your knees, scooting over top of Frankie so that you straddled him. In the midst of it, lust replaced the humor on his face. His hands found your waist as you used a hand on his chest to coax him to lay back on the mattress.

“I’ll do a little more than just stroke it,” you promised.

“Fuck,” Frankie breathed, almost to himself. Bringing your hand to his cock, you teased him with a few testing pumps. He tipped his head back against the bed, groaning as you ghosted the tip of your thumb over the head. With a deep baritone, he pleaded, “God, baby, please.”

How could you deny that? You couldn’t even hold yourself back anymore.

You guided him to your entrance before slowly lowering to take him. It was a stretch, one that felt overwhelming and all too good at the same time. Frankie’s hands found your hips, a string of encouraging praises falling from his lips as he watched you take every inch of him with laser-like focus.

“That’s it, baby,” he cooed, disheveled and wrecked as he looked up at you. “I knew you could take all of me. Goddamn, you feel so good.”

You felt so unbelievably full. Suddenly, the ability to speak had been stolen from you, replaced with the simple need for friction.

You rocked your hips, earning a hiss from Frankie as his fingertips gripped your hips for dear life. Slowly, you built your pace as you rode him. He was so deep, you never knew it could feel like this. Soon enough, you had a good pace.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The rhythmic noise was in the background at first, lost to the sound of your and Frankie’s moans and grunts. But then you realized how close it was.

Frankie read the confusion on your face immediately. “The bed,” he explained, panting. “The shitty bed’s hitting the wall.”

Oh. It was obvious now, but your brain was underwater, your only concern being the unbelievable man beneath you. But there was a small part of your brain somewhere in the haze that was still rational that knew the last thing you needed right now was hotel management knocking on your door after a complaint.

“Floor,” Frankie offered, seemingly on the same page. “It’ll be easier on the floor.”

After a brief moment to relocate, you were once again on top of Frankie, your knees against the cheap, rough carpet as you rode him without abandon. He was lost in it, switching between letting his eyes roll back and needing to watch you. To praise you.

“Fuck, yes, baby. This pussy’s so perfect. You’re so perfect.” He was babbling, but you loved it. A sense of urgency, of longing lurked in his tone.

You panted and cursed, so close to the edge but not quite able to get there. “Frankie. Baby, I need more.”

Frankie’s eyes snapped up to your face, a new sort of darkness to his eyes. His hand came to your back to brace you against him before he flipped you both, your back meeting the carpet. Now, he loomed over you as he kissed you deeply. Right as he pulled his lips away from yours, he gave a sharp, hard thrust into you. You cried out, scrambling to scratch at his back in an attempt to find purchase. Again and again, he drove into you, making a devastating pace.

His pants fanned across your lips, seemingly lost in the feeling of you. “Yeah, that’s it. That’s it. Fuck… baby — fuck — I’m close. Need you to come. Come for me, cariño.”

If you had the ability to speak anymore, you would’ve told him that you were right there, teetering on the edge.

With a few more thrusts, you toppled over. The sounds you made were obscene as ecstasy took over.

“Where do you want it, baby?” Frankie rasped desperately. “I need you… I need you to tell me.”

“Inside,” you gasped.

“Fuck. You’re so fuckin’ good, baby,” Frankie cooed in your ear. “Ah. So fuckin’ tight. Squeezin’ me so good. I’m- I’m gon-”

He didn’t finish his sentence before he was driving himself deep and releasing into you. His mouth fell open as he rode it out, grinding into you.

When he was completely spent, he let himself sag down a little above you, his head dropping as he tried to catch his breath. Every moment or so, he would let out a beautiful little ah sound, especially as he pulled out of you.

For the second time that night, you brought your pointer finger underneath his chin and slowly guided him to look at you. You caught the enamored look in his eyes a moment before you leaned up to kiss him. Slowly, meaningfully.

Against his lips, you said, “God, Frankie, if I would’ve known that you liked me, too… or that we could’ve been doing this all this time…”

Frankie gave an incredulous laugh, pulling back to look at you. “Like you? I’ve been crazy about you since the day we met.”

You laughed, looking at the ceiling for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “Me, too! I hadn’t been able to stop staring at you the entire cookout that day.”

“I wanted to ask you out then,” he admitted, his brown eyes earnest. “And every time we saw each other afterwards. I always talked myself out of it.”

“I would’ve said yes,” you assured.

Frankie ran a thumb over your cheek. “Think it’s too soon to ask you on a second date?”

You giggled against him, feeling his body shake against yours as he laughed, too. “Not soon enough. How does Wednesday night sound?”

“Perfect. I hope it’s not too crude to say that I hope it ends a lot like tonight did.”

You patted his tanned chest, giving him a knowing smile. “Let’s pick a restaurant closer to your place, then.”

#frankie morales #francisco morales #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #frankie morales x you #francisco catfish morales #pedro pascal #triple frontier fanfiction #santi garcia #santiago garcia #santiago pope garcia #my writing

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lv-iceprince · 1 year ago

Note

Okay, I'll combine both astrology and a writing request in this fic.

Lee Know's Scorpio Venus and Virgo Mars to me indicates he has a corruption kink and would love the idea of having a inexperienced partner that he can mould into pleasing just him.

Can I please request a piece where it's the reader's first time?

Thank you xx

Bubble Pop!!!

pairing~ lee minho x fem! reader

genre~ (s)

word count~ 2.5k

synopsis~ he should have air fried the boy when he had the chance. maybe then he wouldn't have tried to hit on you. sure, hyunjin didn't know that you and minho were dating but that doesn't stop minho from taking your virginity then and there ... or the one where he illustrates your body with scratches to remind you who you belong to.

rating~ mdni 18+

featuring~ protected sex (a big sexy yes), pwp, minho and his corruption kink, loss of virginity, guided masturbation, guided pillow humping, minho has a thing for y/n's ass, dirty talk, dumbification if you really squint, minho fucks y/n on hyunjin's bed, sexy shadows and fairy lights.

a/n~ the fact that my first writing request is perfect, like thank you so much for requesting such a concept. i went insane writing this. i have been reborn. this is the most graphic thing i've written so to my new followers i'm sorry lol.

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Minho's lithe fingers were webbed with ecstasy as he trailed his hands up your heated skin, a sweet hum disguising his true intentions.

"Now tell me, do you have a boyfriend? With the way you were showing off in that little dress I highly doubt it." Even if it was against your better judgement you didn't know what else to do besides spread your legs further apart.

There was no way in hell that any of the guys knew you were taken, how could they when neither of you confirmed that you were dating. In there eyes you were Minho's best friend turned roommate, so why wouldn't Hyunjin shoot is shot?

Hyunjin would never fully comprehend how big a mistake it was to let his hand linger too close to your ass while he invited you over for some wine and a good time; that would only become apparent when he retired to his room to find cum-stained sheets and your perfume on his pillow.

"Min, I swear I was about to reject him, you know I would never do that to you."

Minho clicked his tongue in mockery as he snaked his hand into your underwear. Siren eyes met doe eyes as he noticed how caught off guard you were. He wanted to comfort you and say that he wouldn't break you, but that wouldn't be the entire truth. He wanted you to fall apart in his hands so that he could build you back up, most of all, he wanted you to scream out his name on Hyunjin's bed.

Even though his hand was restricted by your cotton panties he didn't make any attempt at sliding them down your leg, the cute ribbon that adorned them was his weakness.

You had expected him to pick up where he left off, fingers sliding against your tight walls, instead he came down to toy with your clit. Positioning himself to hover above you he leaned in to brush your hair to the side, coercing you with a string of kisses across your clavicle.

He had wanted to do this ever since you became his roommate. At first he thought you were his angel but it was all apart of your charm. You were kind, thoughtful and sweet but like all of the most heavenly angels you were the devil in disguise, even if you didn't realise it.

You may have been a virgin but there were moments where Minho was sure he caught you slipping. The way you would eye his bare chest after he had a shower, the way you were in awe whenever a sex scene came on tv-he could only hope that you were imagining his touch.

But the thing that truly broke him was the many times you would walk around your apartment wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties, not to mention that you always seemed to prefer his shirts over your own. The slight bruises littering his lower lip were a reminder of the times he bit his lip so hard that a speck of blood started to pool, your virginity remained intact while his sanity quickly went down the drain.

A harsh blush coated your cheeks as his member hardened beneath you making the rough denim scratch harder against your thigh. "I didn't know you felt this way." Minho didn't look up at you this time, far too preoccupied with your breasts and the fact he could see your hardened peaks through your bra. "I feel a lot of ways about you, I want to do so much to you jagiya." For a split second you caught his dark orbs before they fell behind his dark bangs. The look in his eyes was unlike anything you had ever seen before, it was full desperation.

Your head fell back, a silent beckon for him to continue exploring your body. "Little y/n always making my life so difficult, keep panting like that and you'll make me cum."

His taunting was the encouragement you needed to buck your hips into him, whining at the pressure on your clit. Minho's fingers froze in place depriving you of your release. Gripping his upper arm you pushed yourself against him, assuming his nerves got the best of him. "Minho that felt so good I want you to keep going." Minho chuckled at your neediness, responding with words dripping in sin.

"But I don't want to be bad, not yet, so how about we play a game? I want to see what experience you have, I have a feeling you know how to put on a show."

Minho approached Hyunjin's pink velvet office chair and wheeled it to the centre of the room, sitting down he leaned back to cross his legs. He took in the sight before him, you half naked, head resting on a soft pillow as the fairy lights danced across your skin.

"Open your legs sweet thing I want to see all of you."

You parted your legs, displaying the wet patch that started to form. Minho sat in awe at the way your arousal was dripping onto the sheets beneath you, luckily his dark jeans hid the fact that he had made a mess of his own.

Even though he was fighting against his own lust he grinned at you and clicked his tongue in faux mockery. "I bet you taste so good." Minho smirked as he noticed more slick trail down your leg at his words. "Well if that's the case I think you could do without your cute underwear, take them off. They're no use tonight anyways."

You already felt exposed however, you hung on to each of his words as you removed the soaked material. For a split second you thought of throwing them at him, a silent cry for him to hurry up and fuck you. But instead you tossed them to the side, awaiting his directions.

"I want to get this over and done with so be a good girl and listen to me, you can do that for me right y/n?" You nod, ever so obedient for your boyfriend.

"Open your legs a bit wider I want to see all of you." You brought your hands up to your face, hiding your ferocious blush. "Don't hide, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"How about we start simple, use one of your hands to tease your entrance." Bringing a hand down you traced your folds, wincing when your fingers nudged your clit. "You're doing so well y/n, now finger yourself, remember how I shoved my hands down your pants earlier, I want to see you recreate it." You clenched your eyes shut, trying to remember the way his fingers rubbed against the walls of your aching cunt. Using one hand to spread your folds you inserted a finger, confused as to why you were still so tight. It wasn't long before you worked your way up two fingers, you were about to add a third before Minho interjected. "Grab that pillow, it's time for part two of our lesson." Getting onto your knees you reached for the closest pillow, getting a sample of Hyunjin's cologne. You brought it in front of you, awaiting his next order. Part of you knew what he wanted from you but there was no way he would ask you to do that, surely.

"What are you waiting for, don't be shy."

Somehow, for someone so unfamiliar with this you liked being so exposed to him. It was as if he was seeing more than your naked body, he saw the side of you that was begging for his touch since day one.

Straddling the pillow you arched your back at the sensation of the cool fabric against your heated skin, the embroidered patterning of the pillow barely brushed against your clit.

"That feels good doesn't it?" Nodding in response you moved forward, but that wasn't enough. No matter how much you moved your hips back and forth the jolt of pleasure barely revealed itself. "Min- this isn't enough, I need you." "No you don't." "I want you, I need to cum please." "You can have me after you cum."

Despite his harsh words his tone was the most gentle it had been that entire night. "I will always be here to please you but I know you can do it. Try rolling your hips towards me. The wave of pleasure that over took you after more desperate rutting was intense, something in your lower stomach snapped as your shaking arms gave out, your legs were barely holding you up as you gripped onto the sheets beneath you. You couldn't even comprehend the string of curse words you shouted, you were barely there.

Letting you catch your breath Minho pulled a condom out from his back pocket and sat near your side, his hand resting on the your back. "You did so well y/n." Pulling the pillow away from you he waited for you to finish coming down from your high.

"You're all fucked out, do you still want me? We can do this another night." Even if he sounded so gentle it felt like he was mocking you, there was no way you would give up on having sex with him tonight.

"I'm not going home until you fuck me Minho."

Minho walked you to the end of Hyunjin's bed "Bend over." Once you had done so Minho's hands trailed up your sides and stopped at your hands. Treating you as if you were his own personal doll he gripped your hands and brought them up urging you to grip onto the beams of the canopy bed. Minho tore the foil packet open, rolling the condom on.

"I'll try and be gentle jagiya, but if it's too much I'll stop as soon as you say vanilla." Minho kissed your neck anticipating the way that you would arch your back, he was already far too familiar with your body. "Just focus on the lights and relax." Looking straight ahead you ignored the twinkling fairly lights, instead becoming fixated by the shadowed silhouette of you and Minho that was cast onto the wall.

His cock prodding against your entrance made you wince. While you were trying to compose yourself yet again Minho entered you without warning, you couldn't prevent the gasp that escaped your lips. Minho pulled you in closer pushing himself deeper, your walls clenched around him, he just hoped you could feel each vein and curve through the condom. He wanted you to remember each part of him, you didn't need anyone else, he was the only one who could bring you this much pleasure, not Hyunjin.

"M-Minho." Your chest was heaving as you tried your best to relax, despite how foreign this feeling was. There was no way you wanted him to stop, you were a big girl, you could handle it.

"Y/n I hope you know that you're mine, no one else gets this sweet pussy."

If you weren't clinging to the bed your hands would be holding onto his hips, begging him to go faster, but all you had was a shaky voice that told Minho that you were about to start sobbing if he didn't fuck you like he meant it.

"Y/n you better stop me now I won't be able to control myself." Your eyes were glistening with tears as you answered him "I don't want you to control yourself, I'm yours Minho, take me." Lust was clouding your senses, you weren't even fully aware of how needy you sounded, just seeing his form through a shadowed figure cast on the wall wasn't enough. You needed to see him like this every damn day.

Minho pulled out slightly before thrusting back into you, he was telling the truth, he wasn't planning on holding back. His pace was quick and the sound of skin on skin turned you on even more, there was something so raw and passionate, it was strange but this had to be what love felt like.

"Minho, I think I'm close." "Already? But I was just getting started." "It just feels so good, I don't think I can hold it," Before your boyfriend could make you cum for the first time he stopped, much to your dismay. "Minho not now, I'm sorry I was playing with Hyunjin please, I want to cum!" Placing a kiss on your cheek Minho slapped your ass, immediately rubbing the red mark. It was hard to tell where the shadows cast by the lights started and where the faint bruises on your hips ended.

"Stop being dramatic y/n, stand up." You turned around to face Minho, even in the dim lighting you could see his eyes sparkling for you. Minho cupped your face in his hands, holding you so that he could gift you with a heated kiss. He pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting the two of you.

"I think you can put all that practice to good use." Letting go of you Minho removed his shirt, finally getting to his jeans he removed them and reclined back onto the bed.

Wasting no time you straddled him, sighing as he pushed inside of you. Instead of being tight and awkward your body invited him in. Parting your legs further you rolled your hips into him, repeating everything that you had done to defile that pillow. Minho gripped onto your hips yet again, but this time he traced over the bruises as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

The way you were rolling your hips just the way he had liked it, the way you were begging him for more. He knew he had something that the others could only dream of. Angling his hips fucked into you hard, his moans becoming one with the creaking of the bed.

He met a spot in the deepest part of your body, brushing against it, once or twice or was it three times? You had no idea but the way his tip brushed against you sent you straight to your own personal heaven. "Minho, I'm going to cum again, make me cum, I want it so bad." The way you had fallen apart on top of him was everything he had ever dreamt of, there was no way you were going to find a better fuck. Not even Hyunjin would make you feel like this.

Your walls clenching around him was enough to drive him over the edge, pulling out of you Minho came on your lower stomach.

The white streaks on your abdomen and the dazed look you wore was heaven, even though he felt like he committed the sin of ruining his angel. Pulling into his arms Minho kissed your cheek, allowing you to rest your head on his chest. It hadn't taken long for sleep to overtake you, cuddling into Minho you were too far away to even acknowledge the desperate, loving words he whispered to you, ones laced in sin. Even if that was the case you were conscious enough to know the gravity of the entire situation. There was no way you were getting over Lee Minho.

----

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last-words-ofashootingstar · 2 years ago

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Nothings gonna hurt you, Baby

Yandere Yang Jeongin x fem reader

a/n: cheese IN will always be my favorite and this request brought back my obsession with him "the second one was have Jeongin as a psycho (or something similar) like he is insane for you?" crazy innie for the winnie (sorry LMAO) . i had a lot of fun writing this and taking a break from FFF so i hope you enjoy

Nothings gonna take you from my side.

✫彡wordcount: 2.2k

ヾ(´〇`)ﾉ♪♪♪ song recs: Nothings Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex

(>ᴗ•)♡´･ᴗ･`♡genre: yandere, nonidol, hurt&comfort, smut w/ plot

ಠ_ಠwarning/contents: not edited , jeongin beats someone up bad, threats(not to reader), one line that implies he murdered someone, you asked for psycho so i came thro, crying (sexy&not sexy kind), extremely possessive, unprotected(ruh-roh), overstim, pet/nick names(innie, jeong, baby &baby, darling, princess), squirting, hair pulling, forehead touches( the crowd goes wild🔥‼️)

tags: requested by @bangmechann ( you're so sweet 😭 you didn't give a lot of details so i hope it's up to your standard and hope you like <3)

SMUT&MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

"This wasn't the worst idea." You admit as you take another nugget from the container between the two of you. "Kinda nice." You turn and offer Jeongin a smile, and he returns it in earnest.

It was three a.m. on a Tuesday and you found yourself dragged out by your boyfriend to an adventure to get fast food because he couldn't sleep. At first, you complained, but you were starting to come around to it.

You had gotten your food and parked outside of a twenty four hour convenience store. He let you play your music on the radio, he always did. He opened the window per your request, he always did. He told you he loved you before he got out to grab you a drink and a bag of gummy bears to share. He always did. He kissed you passionately, like it was the last time he would see you. He always did.

He left you alone and hurried into the store. He hated the chilly weather, but he would never admit that to you. You loved it too much. And he loved you too much. He snatched up your favorite drink to share and a large bag of the snack, paying as quick as humanly possible.

The sight outside of the deserted store is one that makes fear grip his cold heart. Your car, parked at the edge of the parking lot, has a visitor. A man is reaching into your half-up window, trying to grab at the lock. You're crying as you try to scramble into the driver seat, to get away from him. When you scream, he knows fear for the first time in his life. "Jeongin!"

"Shut up," the man yells back, crossing the hood of the car and grabbing you from that window instead. He gets ahold of your loose sweater, pulling you closer even as you try to slip away.

He's frozen in his spot. His blood is both cold as ice and boiling in his veins. "Innie!"

He drops the plastic bag and is at the car in seconds flat. He's never moved so fast, but the way you're screaming has his entire being wrapped in fear and rage.

He grabs the man by his jacket and pulls him away. When did he become so strong? Is it adrenaline? Rage? He can't even question his sudden strength as he pushes the larger man to the cement ground.

"Jeong!" Your broken voice doesn't register in his mind as he straddles the man. He doesn't know what he's doing. He can only let his emotions take control as he beats on the man.

You open the car door with a trembling hand and slide out, falling to the ground as you watch the scene unfold. You use the car as leverage and hoist yourself up, simply staring: afraid to approach your unhinged boyfriend after the last time he was so pissed off; he had went and threatened someone with a bat. "Jeongin!"

His bloody fist finally stop, fingers wrapping around the man's collar and lifting up his limp body. "I should kill you. I should fucking kill you right here." The man splutters up blood as he tries to plead. "Fucking pathetic." He slams the man down into the ground. "That's my girlfriend, you piece of shit. I should gauge your eyes out for even looking at her! I should cut your filthy hands off!"

"Baby, stop!" He looks over his shoulder at you and you back off in an instant. You've only seen that look one other day. And that day ended with you helping dig a human sized hole in the forest.

"Are you okay, Darling?" His voice shakes, tight with anger. You nod, wiping away your stray tears with your sweater paw. "He didn't hurt you?" It doesn't matter if he did or if he didn't. He's going to regret even being in this parking lot tonight. You shake your head, quietly saying that you're okay.

He gives you a once over, your shaking form doesn't slip his attention before he turns back. "You scared her, you pathetic little shit!" He spits, grabbing the man's neck. "What were you going to do to her, huh?" The man mumbles something that can't reach your ears from your spot by the car, hugging yourself tightly. But whatever he says, it doesn't please Jeongin.

He lifts his fist again, and you turn away, hands over your ears. You lean your head against the cool metal and close your eyes as you cry as silently as you can manage.

He hates to see you cry because of anyone besides him.

You don't know how long you stay like that, but it's long enough for your breath to even out and for your eyes to dry. You jump when you hear him call out for you. You brace yourself on the back window and look over your shoulder. He's finally unmounted your would-be-attacker and sits back next to him leisurely, looking over at his bloodied face with a smirk pulling at his lips.

"C'mere, Baby." You're at his side in a second flat, crouching down and picking up his fist in your hands.

"Are you okay, Jeong?" You completely ignore the wheezing man next to you. You don't want to see his face ever again- even if it has been beaten to a pulp. You kneel next to him and revel in his warmth when he wraps his other arm around you.

"I'm okay, Darling. Don't you worry. Let me see you," he turns your head side to side to inspect for any signs of damage: only finding the emotional wreckage. "Don't cry cause of him, he can't hurt you. Look." You shake your head on his hold, pouting and trying to say you don't want to when he makes you. "Look, Baby."

The man's nose is bent out of place, lip busted and spilling blood. "As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine. No one gets to get away with scaring you." Jeongin turns his attention to the pervert next to the two of you.

"Don't you have something to say to her?" The man coughs out a few gumbled words, but it's not enough to please him. "Speak up, fucker."

"I'm- I'm sor-sorry." The bell above the door rings out loud enough to reach the three of you, and the cashier starts yelling, running back inside as she screams about calling the cops.

"Time to go, Darling."

—

You're crying again as the adrenaline fades away, cool wind whipping your stray hairs around your face. You don't know where you even are, you're so out of your head. So you don't register that Jeongin has pulled over on the side of the desolate street until he's tugging on your hoodie.

You're confused, mind fuzzy as you let him pull you into his lap and grabs the skirt of your night dress to pull you down. "Why'd we stop, Jeong? Wanna go home." He kisses you out of nowhere, holding you impossibly close.

He pulls away with a sigh and speaks slowly, looking up at you with glazed eyes. "My poor Princess." He whines as he holds your head to his, wiping your fresh tears with his thumbs. "That fuck really scared you, didn't he?" You sniffle as you nod, holding your hands over his.

"Was so scared, Innie."

He coos, kissing your forehead and whispering that you're okay now."Nobody can hurt you, Baby. I won't let them, I won't... not as long as you're with me. I'm not gonna let anything take you from my side. Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"So stop crying. I've got you now." His words only make you cry harder. He's always there. He's always got you. He's gone to hell and back for you.

"Love you, Jeongin," you whisper into his chest as he cradles your head, rubbing the back of your head. "Love you so much. Thank you, thank you for saving me."

"I love you. I'll always save you. I'll do anything for you. Anything you want, and thing you need. It's yours, I'll make sure."

You lift up from his chest and prop your hands on either side of him. "Anything I want?"

"Yes, Baby, anything at all."

—

He gave you what you wanted the second you returned home, and you'd been wrapped up in the sheets for a good long while now. You asked him to make you forget everything, to make your mind blank. And by God, he did.

He made you stupid on his fingers. He made you cum four times before he even slipped inside you.

But now, he has you dumb on his cock. Laying back, one leg draped off the edge of the bed and the other wrapped around his hips, you're beginning to feel so much safer.

"My sweet girl," he groans, fingers tightening on your hips as he pulls your limp hips to meet his. "Oh, Darling, don't cry. It's okay."

"No- m'not, I'm not sad. You fuck me so good, Innie." You sing his praise as you force one of your hands up, sighing as it feels like it weighs a ton, and rest it on his shoulder gently. "I love you, love you. I want..."

"What, Darling?"He leans down and slows his thrusts, letting you gather your thoughts.

"I want you to keep me safe forever. Want you to be with you forever. Want you to fuck me forever. I love you, please don't stop!"

His heart swells as your words reach him, hungry thrusts returning quickly as he leans into your shoulder. "Oh, fuck. I love you, I will, I promise I will. Nothings gonna hurt you, Baby."

You bring up your other leg and lock it around him, keeping him as close as physically possible. The headboard is banging from the force of his erratic pace, undoubtedly damaging your walls- but neither of you have a single care in the world.

Even though you want more, your cunt is already weeping in overstimulation. You can still feel your clit buzzing from your previous orgasms and his unrelenting rhythm doesn't give you a change to recoup.

"Jeong!" You don't know what you're pleading for until he gives it to you. His big, warm, bruised hand grabs onto yours, squeezing tightly. It calms every worry in your frantic mind. It also makes the coil in your gut snap.

The squelching in the room increases ten-fold as your abused cunt squirts all over him. He looks down between you with his forehead on your chest, watching closely and holding himself back from cumming on the spot as you grab his hair roughly.

"Fucking fuck, h-oh my God, Innie!" "That's it, Baby," he begins rolling his hips slowly, hitting the breaks on your pleasure but never fully stopping. He know you at least have to breath, and it doesn't seem like you are as you pull at his hair and mumble incoherently. "My fucking Darling, know just how to take it."

He rests his chin on your chest and looks up, smirking at all of the tears which fall and wet your face and neck. "I fuck you so good, don't I? I make you cum so hard, huh?"

He wraps both arms around your torso and holds you close to his chest, flipping the both of you over and making you scream as his cock hits you at a new angle. "Right, Princess?"

"Yes! Yes!" When you go to grind your hips on him, he holds his hand against the small of your back and keeps you still. "Baby, please, need more!"

"Say it." Your mind, foggy with a flood of endorphins, takes a few moments to puzzle together what he wants.

"Oh, Innie," you cup his face and kiss it all over, speaking between pecks, "you make me cum so fucking good. Nobody ever did it like you do. Only you. Only you."

He bites back a smirk and rolls his hips up to reward you before stopping abruptly. "Say you love me."

"Jeongin, p-please fuck me."

"Say you love me, Baby."

"I love you. Love you so much!" Another small roll followed by stillness. You slap his chest as you cry, hits padded by the large hoodie you'd yet to remove in your feral mentality. "Jeong..."

"Tell me you're mine."

"I'm all yours. I'm yours. Please..." This time, the movement of his hips grinding up into your g-spot deliciously doesn't stop. He dips his hands under the wet edge of your hoodie and slips it over your head, pulling your makes chest flush with his. He holds the back of your head and you cradle his cheeks as he connects your foreheads.

"My perfect Darling... nothings gonna take you away from me."

—

#yang jeongin #jeongin #stray kids #stray kids in #skz #skz in #yandere jeongin #jeongin smut #stray kids smut #smut fic #yandere fic

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rizatouchesthewalls · 2 years ago

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Retracing the Footsteps of Those Who Got Lost in The Snow

so desperate for content they got me writing my own material

pjsekai card ass title 💀

stream arctic monkeys

cw: hurt/comfort, gn reader, lots of cuddling damn, implied family issues so true, so self indulgent that it’s insane

Deleting soon

New York always looks different painted in white—it sort of catches you off guard every time. Not in a bad way, but a more or less hopeful way. The world is still spinning and you’re still living. Somehow.

So after months of having little to no tension with your family mid-winter, you were sort of shocked at the sudden conflict that arose. You didn’t want to ruin an otherwise perfect winter—so you did what you always did whenever such things happened. Run into the always open arms of the Morales’.

“I’m sorry for bothering you all again,” You whispered. You were always on the quieter side but whenever fights went down you lost your voice far easier than any other time.

“Nonsense! You know us, we’re always going to be like a second family to you.” Ms. Rio said. She never failed to make you guilty, not because ever purposely did so—but because her kindness was overwhelming. You felt as if you could never repay that.

“Yes, we always have a home for you here,” Mile’s dad gave a rare smile, not that he didn’t smile, it was just more heartfelt than the ones he showed when he was joking or laughing. All these observations you knew over the years because you depended on them often. It had been easier when you were younger though, mostly only coming over because you were playing with Miles. You balled one of your hands up into a fist trying to fight that overwhelming nostalgia.

“(Name)? Are you alright? I’m going to call Miles to come dow—,”

“N-no sir. —Go up there myself… th-a-ank you.” You fought back tears and made your way to Mile’s room, avoiding his parent’s concerned gaze.

A knock on a door. Just a simple and quiet knock that takes you back that far. You can almost see your younger self racing around with glee, being reckless. When you didn’t lie about being loud and extroverted just to please a crowd; it felt so long ago but it was just a few years ago.

“Dad I’m not hungry!”

“A-ah! It’s not—!”

The door swung open before you could finish and you were quickly wrapped into a tight hug. You couldn’t help melt into it. It was so warm and comfortable—you could feel your heart pounding. You did your best to cling on to the wall that was holding back the hot tears that were basically begging to be released, but you kept it in anyway.

“It’s pretty snowy outside, huh? I’m drawing a picture of it—actually.” He always did his best to distract you. And who were you not to give in?

You nodded, signifying that you wanted to see. You entered his room and immediately felt calmed down by the familiar atmosphere. The tranquility of it was dear to you, but so ways a utter messiness of it that made it feel like home. The windows had those same yellow curtains draped over them, but in between the cracks you could see a winter scene outside.

Hopping onto the bed, you wrapped yourself with the blankets. Miles sat next to you, bringing you into his arms. He kissed your forehead and flipped through the pages of the art book, reaching a page with a sketch of Mile’s home from the exterior view. “Alright, now give me those art skills.” He nudged you.

Alright, yeah, you did art every once in a while. You didn’t do it as much though. Not after…

“Dunno… em…phasize the frost in the window. They wouldn’t look that normal.”

“See! You’re good at art without even trying.” He started to add shading to the windows, making sure to leave snowflakes on top of them.

“Th…” You didn’t want to stutter but at this point it felt like at any moment you were going to overflow. So you stayed silent. It engulfed the situation uncomfortably. In between those non-existent lines layers of trauma was stacked in your words. And it was separating you and Miles. You knew it was.

A tune interrupted the silence. It was so soft and quiet that if the two of you had been speaking neither would notice. You gradually made your way to the window and looked out down onto the street. There it was—a double decker bus decked out with Christmas decorations and playing to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock. You stared at it in awe with child-like wonder. Then the feeling of nostalgia hit you like a truck.

You remember begging your parents to take you on one of those busses, so short that you thought the top of those busses might as well be the empire skate building. That if you reached high enough you could touch the stars. Did you ever end up going on one?

You already know the tears are falling down your face. They are just as silent as the room was before. And you can feel the comfort of the Miles’ hands wiping them away, and just for that night, your fears and terrors were wiped away too.

And somehow someone found you in the middle of a blizzard.

#Spotify #spider man into the spider verse #spiderverse across the spiderverse #spider verse #miles molares #spiderman #miles morales x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #black reader #inclusive reader

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nozunhinged · 5 months ago

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my love sea rollercoaster

Okay so I was at the forefront of the love sea haters (don't ask me about mame I don't know anything about that discoure you can read why I didn't like it here if you want) but as weak as I am I kept watching and ep 2 still didn't do it for me but ep 3 turned the boat around so fast that I feel absolutely sea sick (literally!!) right now -- and because the discourse and perspectives on tumblr made me try to keep watching unbiased, I'd like to share my five cents as to why the story suddenly works for me after I've spent the first two eps rolling my eyes so hard I got a migraine.

I think it comes down to three major moments, with their conflict as the turning point

When rak started spitting the most degrading speech going at mut for dragging him out of the house, literally blowing so fucking low the blowjob mut was wishing for in the end was sky high terrain, I went "ok that's it, I'm turning this off" -- rak said word for word "no means no" but mut still kept pulling him I was close to angry tears what a fucked up situation that is, I thought.

But just as mut made rak snap out of it with his unimpressed reaction, so did I.

It was like the first half of the episode flashed right in front of me within the second rak was speechless. He was so on edge from the many calls he had in the first part and before that the diving incident -- he was streched out so thin that of course he would fall back to his default mode which is insulting anyone who dares to get within a 10ft radius of him. And then a guy who even dares to break down his pretentious walls? Better double down! (I'm still mad about raks tirade though, I would've dumped him in the sea right then and there)

But here's the thing, mut isn't fazed at all. Like, at all at all. And that's exactly what rak needs in this moment. Someone to vent his anger at so he can collect himself. We know now that mut had it a million times worse than this and his reaction isn't just because he has the hots for rak, it's literally his character. They both would react the exact same way if it was any other person. The difference? They develop an emotional bond over it and that's how they move forward. CHEFS KISS!

You might think but noz, of course its his character, thats the whole point? Yeah but not to me.

In the last two episodes, it felt like everything that happened between them was excruciatingly forced by the narrative (see my yaoi-post why I despise that) -- that everything between them is only brought out because they met. I know that thai bl (no, lets say the romance genre in general) has a big issue writing and introducing characters in a manner that makes their romance believable, but most of the time I can overlook that because we're not here for deep literary masterpieces, we're here for the smooches and the fumbles. I get it.

But when it feels so forced like it did the last two eps to me, even I just check out. So I already shelved that series in my mind and it's the first time I get so damn humbled that I have to write down a million paragraphs to defend myself lol. I think my longing for watching a believable lovestory reached so deep that it contributed to my current brainrot.

Don't get me wrong -- I attest this shift 100% to fortpeats insanely stellar acting. They make the characters believable and they make me understand why rakmut are prefect for each other although I HATE their dynamic. But that's the beauty of a good story my friends, I get now why their pulling and pushing works for them and I'll gladly watch them do that! Because until now, no aspect of the show managed to do that, neither the narrative progression, nor the editing, writing or pacing. Nothing. It was all just a jumbled, annoying mess.

So what's different now? The story lets fortpeat finally shine! (Accidentally maybe?)

Someone already said that the scenes are stale and slow (cant find the post anymore sorry) due to the fact that nothing is happening other than the two of them talking in the same position behind a different background and I 100000% agree. And the only way this poor choice is saved by is fortpeat. I was hanging on their lips for every single word. Their dynamic was suddenly so clear and palpable to me, I struggled to breathe properly. Rakmut are fucking made for each other and I'm losing my shit over it.

I can't believe they managed to make ALL the flaws of this show just POOF -- go away??? And it just keeps going like that. I could write 10 more pages about the little details of their dialogues that cemented my impression but I'll try wrap this up first.

The two other pivotal moments (to me) were muts reaction to rak telling him about his name. Yes, you read that right. Now that I finally understood how these two are ticking, I absolutely 100% understand where mut was going with this objectively BONKERS suggestion. Rak drops this bombshell of a trauma on him and he offers to do exactly that too??? Well, in muts head this is the only way to make rak understand that the outcome can be different. So of course, this idea would only work on him. Made for each other, I'm telling you. Two pieces of a fucked up puzzle.

Now, that scene.

First, doubling down on how much worse mut had it. (I'm not talking about his house thats a topic for another post) I think this one little story was enough to land the punch, the talk last ep was too long and clunky. I wouldve loved to have a scene where the guy who was fired tells the story to someone and rak overhears it, not understanding a thing and then putting the pieces together when mut starts talking I-- oh I think i wouldnt have survived that, I cried then and there already.

Well yeah I was in tears when they started fucking that was awkward but again raks reaction just made sense. They don't know each other that well and rak only knows one way how to make mut feel good which is riding him to the moon and back. And as a little cherry on top he completely let loose without any restraints.

There's already this amazing post by @hanhonymous which explains perfectly why the pillow talk after works so well as it does, so I'm not gonna say anything more. Just know that I was full on bawling at this point. When rak said "try it" it lost it. How he encourages his island boy who said "someone like me" a million times in the last ten minutes was perfect. Beautiful. Absolutely wonderful. Even his false lead felt perfect for this moment because only this way mut would understand that rak is absolutely serious.

I don't know how the bangkok arc will play out, my hopes are not very high but I will forever have this lovely little episode. And their lovely little pillow talk. And when they confess and love each other for real I will once again cry like a loser because fortpeat are amazing. Please someone get them a high quality production they deserve it so much.

#love sea the series #love sea #fortpeat #rakmut #mutrak

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minimickzy · 1 year ago

Text

Practice || Van Palmer Part 2

I am so sorry 😀 University has been insane with hurricanes, car accidents and the like!

dialog prompts:

"Hold my hand" "Absolutely not" "We should kiss, for like practice" "I've liked you since you hit me with a rock at recess in 1st grade." "fuck you"

Characters: Van x Reader, the whole team

Word count: 2564

That night after Kevyn dropped you off at home you were pretty drunk, and now in your room alone to face your thoughts.

You had gotten so close- so close to just knocking down the safety rails and jumping into the universe that is one Van Palmer.

You brushed your teeth, changed, chugged a glass of water to avoid a killer hangover, and then flopped face-first into your bed.

You pictured Van, looking at you- though you after you had all but confessed to her. She had to know right? Even she isn’t that dense. Or maybe she is when it comes to herself and not characters on a screen.

You huffed and rolled onto your back. This was ridiculous- you’re being ridiculous. First of all, you never even told her you were gay. And she never even hinted at knowing it. You hadn’t even told her about your own questioning thoughts when she came out to you in the 8th grade.

Still, the look on her face from the party was haunting you. That look had only been shared between you a handful of times. The only other time that it had felt that intense was a time that neither of you had talked about since it happened in the 10th grade.

You turned, looking towards your old tv on the ground next to your dresser. You could see the scene playing out in front of you from years ago.

You were studying, well watching a movie. Lottie had loaned you Can’t Buy Me Love. You both had already seen it so Van was talking through the whole thing, riffing off of the cheesy lines. When the end played, and when Roland and Cindy finally got together, Van stayed quiet.

“I wonder what that’s like.”

“What? Riding a lawn mower? It’s not all it cracked up to be.”

“No- to be kissed like that.” You wouldn’t let her change the subject.

“Oh.”

“It seems… nice.” you needed to play coy, but you knew it was kinda of obvious what you were trying to accomplish.

“I guess… But like- what if you missed? I would die of embarrassment.” you had her hooked.

“Yeah, I feel so behind. Like everyone has already kissed or done more with people in school. I don’t want to get to that point and then embarrass myself.”

Van laughed, “With your aim- I’d prepare for that.”

“Hey!” You laughed and hit her arm, leaving it closer to her than it had been before. “We should kiss, for like practice.”

Her eyes widen, but you could tell her smile took effort now. She held eye contact with you, trying to size up your motivations. You tried to hold a look of passive determination. “That’s a good idea. Practice makes perfect right?”

“Right. So how do we do this?” you felt your hands start to clam up.

“I think you should just close your eyes- and I’ll just like- do it.”

You cocked your eyebrow at her, “But then I don’t get aiming practice.”

She rolled her eyes, “Okay, I’ll go first and we’ll switch.”

You nodded before readjusting to kneel in front of her. “Let's do this.” You closed your eyes. You couldn’t say that the first kiss was anything to write home about.

Van had basically just pressed her lips against yours for a second before pulling away.

You opened one eye, giving her a questioning look. Her cheeks were already a bright red against her freckles. “That’s the best you can do, Palmer? Expecting more from a self-proclaimed “lady killer”.

A little of the stress she was holding in her posture went away with an over-dramatic sigh. “Okay, you try asshole.”

You laughed but nodded, “close your eyes.”

She obeyed and readjusted. You tried to remember how people kissed in all the rom-coms the two of you had watched. You wanted to outdo her peck and maybe make her feel that this was a practice session.

You leaned in. And instead of just pressing your lips against hers, you left them parted until you had just started to make contact before using a bit more force and closing your lips on hers.

To your pleasant surprise, Van seemed intrigued as she leaned in, following your lips as you pulled away. You couldn’t help but smile as she whispered “Wait”, her lips brushing yours as she spoke.

You let her kiss you again, this time she didn’t seem as shy, she copied you, moving her lips against yours. In no way were you in sync. It was messy and a little wetter than you’d care to admit- but honestly how could you complain?

Van broke away from you. Her eyes had the same competitive look she had during games. Neither of you said anything- just stared at each other, slightly out of breath, both pink-faced.

Then the phone rang on your dresser behind you, Natalie was calling to see if you wanted to hang out- asking if Van was with you because she hadn’t picked up her phone.

It was a bittersweet memory now but you still cherished it.

The weekend passed- this year's prom fell before the state championship game which meant you’d actually get to go this year unlike last.

Most of the team already had dates, or at least those who seemed to want one. Jackie had all but forced Shauna to go with Randy but everyone knew she had no interest in him whatsoever. Natalie was going with Kevyn, which was great because it meant that you’d have a ride. Lottie, Van, and you had played to go stag together- so at least you’d have company in your singleness.

You adjusted some details on your outfit before hearing a knock on your front door. “You look great and you're going to have a great time.” You smiled to yourself in the mirror reassuringly before heading out the door.

Van was waiting for you outside, she wore a brown tweed suit with a vest instead of a jacket. Under the vest, she had a light sage green button-down and a stripped brown tie. She looked you up and down and let out a low whistle. “Someone cleans up nice.”

You smiled and started to walk towards her, swinging your body lightly side to side, “I’m not the only one.” You wrapped your arm around her shoulder as she rested hers on the small of your back, leading you to the car. She opened the back door for you of Kevyn’s shitty car before running to the other side and letting herself in.

“You look so hot.” Natalie winked at you from the front seat.

You winked back at her and blew her a kiss. “I do it for you, honey,”

She laughed and turned back towards the road as Kevyn drove away.

As much as you enjoyed watching couples make out and guys try to impress girls with uncoordinated dancing, the excitement of prom was dying out fast. Your mind was focused on how hot, sweaty, and smelly the enclosed space had become. You stood by the double doors of the gym waiting for Van to come back. She had gone to say hi to someone in one of her classes.

You could see her talking to the girl. She was pretty enough, looked confident, and based on Van's laughter she must be funny too. When Van leaned in to place her hand on the girl's arm laughing- you felt a spark of jealousy and figured it was time that you wanted to get some air outside.

You walked out to the spot behind the school where you and the team would smoke after practice. You had no reason to really be upset- the night had been fun and you had great friends. But you couldn't deny the sting that hung on despite your best efforts. You sat on the ground, wallowing in your thoughts for at least three songs. You could still hear the music from the gym though it was muffled. Your eyes were glued to your feet, expensive dress shoes kicking at the dirt.

Two new feet appeared before yours. “Can I bum a smoke?” You rolled your eyes, not laughing for probably the first ever ever at one of Van's quips.

“Don’t have any.” She shrugged and moved to lean against the wall next to you.

“Good thing I’m always prepared.”

After a few seconds, a lighter clicked above you before a lit joint was waved in front of your face. Who were you to deny a kind gesture?

You stood up and took the joint from her fingers, bringing it to your lips and holding it before sighing the smoke out dramatically. The two of you stayed in those positions for a bit, just passing the joint back and forth.

“Why’d you leave?” She asked. You could hear her trying hard to make sure she wasn’t coming off as probing or aggressive.

You shrugged, “Wanted some air.”

She nodded and pushed off the wall. “Would you be up for a dance? We can stay out here.”

Finally meeting her eyes with a questioning look she raised her eyebrows in a smile and held out a freckled hand towards you. You bit back a smile when she started to wiggle her eyebrows. “I’d love to.” you let her take ahold of your hand as you brought your other to her shoulder.

As the songs changed over the two of you got closer and closer. Forgetting the idea of personal space. Your mood lifted as it always did when you were with Van. You leaned onto her as she threw her head back and pulled you flush against her body. The two of your bodies moved to the music, not in time but in feeling. You laughed as she spun you, returning the favor before once again ignoring the idea of personal space and clasping each other like you were afraid if you loosened your grip you’d wake up from whatever kind of dream this was.

The lights shining through the window turned to a faded blue from the bright gold, signaling the beginning of a slow song. Without needing to voice the action, Van slid her hand into yours and slowly hovered on your waist with the other. You smiled, and she gave you an odd melancholy look before signing and resting her forehead gently on yours. You shut your eyes and reached your free hand up to comb through her long red hair.

The dance inside ended but the two of you didn't stop swaying to music only you could hear. The air had begun to cool as time passed, giving you a reason to try and close the space even more between the two of you.

“Van?! (Y/N)?” You broke apart at Natalie’s yell for the two of you, she was probably looking for you to leave, Kevyn being all of your rides to the afterparty.

“Shit- I forgot we still have to go to that stupid fucking party.” Van groaned as she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, it’ll be a good time. Besides we just have to say hi and then we can leave.” You grabbed her hands and started to walk backward toward the school parking lot.

She gave you an unimpressed look but nevertheless, let you pull her along gently.

Natalie, Van, Kevyn, Lottie, Laura Lee, and you all tried to squeeze into his tiny four-person car.

“Where did you go? I was looking for you for like an hour?” Natalie asked Van, turning back from her spot on Lottie's lap in the front seat.

“You know, dances aren't my thing- just needed some fresh air.” Van shrugged, barely visible due to how you and Laura Lee were pushing into her sides.

“At least we managed to get you to come to this one. You missed Randy getting caught spiking the punch though.”

“Damn, that sounds therapeutic.”

“You should’ve seen his face. Looked like a ghost when Ms. Jackson grabbed his collar” Lottie laughed, joining the conversation. “Definitely made my night.”

Van hummed in agreement, being disengaged which wasn’t normal for her.

You nudged her shoulder but she just brushed you off for the rest of the ride.

The party was hosted by none other than Jackie at her huge ass mansion. Van had made a beeline start for the drinks in the kitchen when the car pulled to a stop. You had to practically chase her through the crowd of teens in the house.

When you caught up to her she was pouring about four shots of tequila into a cup with a splash of orange juice. Her jaw was clenched. Her whole demeanor had shifted. You placed your hand on top of hers holding the cup. “What's up? Do you want to leave?” She shook her head and avoided your eyes, glancing around the room. You sighed and she rolled her eyes before gesturing to the stairs leading upstairs.

Van led you upstairs where she knocked on every door, checking if any were unoccupied. Unsurprisingly it took a few tries.

The room y’all had found must have been one of the many guest rooms in the home. A huge bed was in the center of the room with dollhouse-like furniture around the walls.

She put her cup on a dresser before face-planting into the bed. You couldn't help the laugh that burst out of you, “Van! What’s wrong?”

You sat down on the foot of the bed as she rolled over to her back. She tilted her head down towards you before looking back to the ceiling and groaning. “It’s nothing. Like it's actually dumb and I’m just a total idiot.”

She tensed as you set your hand on her leg, “I’m sure it's not dumb. Just talk to me about it.”

She grumbled as she sat up and looked at you with the frown of an insolent child. “This is embarrassing and it may ruin everything.”

“Well Jesus, now you sound like you killed someone.”

She looked at you as if to tell you ‘Seriously?’. You nudged her to continue but she just ran her hands together and looked down.

“Van… You.. You know I love you right?” You said it as a way to try to open her up but it held the double meaning, or hope, that this is what she was talking about.

“That's the thing.” Your heart sank- could she tell how you felt? Had it upset her so much?

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“You shouldn’t be sorry! It’s my fault. I’m the one making you uncomfortable-”

“Wait-”

“I mean I’m the one that looked to far into things and-”

“Van-”

“It’s not your fault that-”

“Van!”

“-I am madly, madly, in love with you.”

“Oh my god!”

“I know- mhM!” You cut her off by literally throwing yourself onto her with so much force you landed on top of her, pinning her to the bed with your lips.

“Thank fuck this conversation was a misunderstanding because I have been into you for so long it’s been torture,” you whispered against her lips.

You could feel her smile and chuckle before telling you “I told you that I've liked you since you hit me with a rock at recess in 1st grade.”

“Fuck you.”

#yellowjackets fanfic #van palmer x reader #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets #van palmer #vanessa palmer #vanessa palmer x reader #jesus lol

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sco07ut · 7 months ago

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what just happened!!!!!!!! s19 rambles (negative) ↓

going to be messy cos im just planning on writing whatever outrageous moments stand out as i go along

first of all????? DOC FUCKING DIED?????????? i literally had to rewatch a few times to realise that’s what they were saying 😟 when the fuck did he die bc doc eas Inside the staff of charon and wash was fuckijg idk?? on the surface of chorus right?? how did doc die saving him what (genuinely someone smarter than me if you’ve figured it out please tell me) bc like the point of the charon fight is that they were stuck in the mementos room right? idk

anyway he was done so dirty i literally do not think there was a reason to reveal doc was dead in the last five minutes

on that note, where was donut?? did he die too ? how long after chorus is s19 set like was that undisclosed location iris or what. did he do his whole ‘tour of the universe’ thing early? like i would’ve been fine with even just a passing comment but they were so vague with it

WHY DID SARGE DIE AND THEN PROMPTLY BECOME IRRELEVANT????? aside from simmons grif & caboose not a Soul mentioned the fact that a whole man was dead. i was so convinced that there would be some big funeral with everyone attending at the end

i did sort of like the plot though, simmons getting a leadership role was kinda fun

tbh i did like simmons this season it was so great seeing him finally get recognition but good grief i cannot talk about simmons without bringing up the ending/lack of grimmons

it makes sense that they wouldn’t get together if grif went home and simmons stayed in the army BUT WHY DID SIMMONS STAY IN THE ARMY?? RICHARD YOU DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING TEAM ANYMORE (on that note. where did lopez go. i’m only just realising that he literally vanished) i’m so insane why did they do that. they could’ve gone home together. and kissed about it idk

i mean i didn’t actually expect grimmons to happen but i thought they’d stay together?? it’s always been them. like that’s the whole point of their characters. every other person who’s been on their team before has died and left them (grif sleeping through being glassed, hammer dying during basic, the red team at rat’s nest and now sarge and donut i guess?????) why did they not stay together

also on the grif family note, the kai cameo was nice (though i will say i do Not understand the point of the whole retro con thing, i feel like it went on for ages, did nothing to set up the plot. the meta could’ve been introduced some other way surely)

also while i’m thinking about it, why did it take tucker/the meta months to get from chorus to a point where he was actively searching for epsilon ?

anyway sorry kai cameo fun but she should’ve had a bigger role idc

it kind of feels like they suddenly realised almost all their female characters were overlooked and they tried to shove them in to be like ‘ohhh look we care about our female characters’ and then screwed them over by making them either insignificant or nothing more than a cameo

with the exception of tex maybe. i fully did not expect her to come back prior to watching but when caboose was like oh help me remember i started to get a feeling it wouldn’t be church. i’m also so glad they addressed the whole ‘created from failure/destined to fail’ thing, tex fuckijg deserved that win. sad that she died though (i wasn’t expecting that either and was like fully geared up to start making post restoration fanart of carolina and tex hanging out and learning how to be friends/family again)

idk i just feel like we missed out on so much stuff due to time constraints, there were so many scenes that should’ve been put in imo like carolina and tex having some sort of moment together, grif and kai having a moment, carolina & wash seeing 479er again

ok wait different chain of thought. everyone was like really eager to kill tucker. there was no moral dilemma of everyone being like ohh beneath the meta hes our friend we can’t hurt him but we still need to take him down what’re we gonna doo. although on second thought it was red team so . yeah the mindless attacking does make sense a bit

new thought again overall it just felt weird like everyone had their assigned pairings and couldn’t acknowledge anyone outside of them?? like during the fights there wasn’t much of a reunion when tex/carolina joined and then wash (and apparently not fucking doc) like idk. i was under the assumption thatvthere would be a sweet little scene where they got the gang back together

whatever man that’s everything off the top of my head. i had no expectations going in and still somehow left disappointed. i Will be making an au version that fits all the things i wanted to see

#red vs blue #rvb restoration spoilers #rvb s19 spoilers

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squarebracketsmileyface · 8 months ago

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Letting u know that Jobless Monday by Mitski is Jay and Alex in Sorry Its Locked to me. I’m insane about this btw. Super Normal👍

Ow. Fuck you /pos

I'm so glad you're super normal about this anon. I'm so glad you were normal enough about this to tell me about it so i can be normal about it with you.

This got so long and i kinda went on a tangent, so, thingy:

you're so right tho. you're so so so right. Jay just wants to be seen with Alex, to be with him like a normal couple, even if the only people seeing it at the two of them. Sure it'd be nice if their friends knew or whatever, but even if it was just them being couply and in love in private would be better than what they currently have (in uni).

Jay doesn't care where they go, if they're just with their friends who they know will accept them, he just doesn't want to have to pretend like he and Alex aren't into each other all the time. He wouldn't care if they went on a walk in the woods and held hands with no one there to see, as long as they got to hold hands. He doesn't just want to be Alex's fuck buddy. He wants to hold his hands. He wants to go to lunch or dinner with him. Fe wants to kiss him on the lips. He wants Alex to kiss him on the cheek or the top of the head. He just wants to be Alex's boyfriend, his partner, not some dirty, disgusting secret Alex hides from everyone out of shame.

God they're so tragic. They're fucking awful. Jay just wants Alex to stop treating him like it'd be disgusting to date him, and Alex is terrified of what could happen to them if they were out at all, even to just their friends. So much could go wrong, they live in Alabama, it's the early 2000's, so fucking much could go wrong, he's not wrong to be cautious.

But that doesn't fully explain away why he refuses to be sweet with Jay even in private.

It's not all Alex's fault though. Like, yes it mostly stems from his fear of being out as queer in any way, but like, Jay's still kinda shit about it, yknow?

I need to write about why Jay wasn't great back in uni properly at some point, but none of my thoughts are properly coherent about it yet. At least not coherent enough to write into a fic yet.

I think I want to make it so that Jay was kinda pretty manipulative, and a lot more pushy with Alex than he lets on about to Tim (or even that he realizes himself) like, you know that bit in chapter 5 of Sorry its locked? where Jay, like, tries to physically force Tim to choke him? And they have to pause and be like, what the fuck? And Tim understands why Jay did it, but he's still really hurt by it because Jesus Christ Jay.

Like, you know that bit? Well I have plans about how Jay used to do that to Alex, not a lot, but like, it happened and more than once, with Jay physically forcing Alex to do stuff. and usually it was fine, like, Jay wanted to be slapped around or have his hair pulled, so he'd move Alex's hands into position to do that. And like, usually that was fine, that was just how they kinda worked and it was fine, those were things Alex was usually happy to do. But then one time Alex was trying to have a slightly less intense scene because he was already tired that day or whatever, and then Jay put Alex's hands around his neck, and Alex was very much not okay with that, but they were in the middle of something already and Alex was in a dominant kinda mindset, so he just punished Jay mid scene for trying to control what was going on, and then they carried on and that was it, they didn't talk about it.

But then after Jay leaves Alex just breaks the fuck down over it, because he realizes just how dangerous that could have been. like, he realizes that he could have really badly hurt Jay, that he could have killed Jay if he hadn't realized where his hands were.

My plan is that this happens near the end of Jay and Alex's fwb relationship, AND that Amy somehow walks in on Alex breaking down and having a full blown panic attack over how he could have really hurt Jay. So Amy has to take care of Alex through that, and she gets him to tell her what happened, so he does and she's the one that is kinda like, "dude, that's so not okay, what the fuck? He shouldn't have done that, and you said he's done stuff like that before? That's so not okay oh my god." and she's the one that convinces Alex to stop his and Jay's fwb relationship. She's so concerned for Alex's mental health (which she should be) and a little while after he breaks his and Jay's thing off, she kinda wants to show Alex what a healthy relationship should be like, and that's how those two start dating?

Also like, when I say Alex breaks down, I really really mean it, like, that guy is hyperventilating borderline wants to kill himself because holy shit he could have killed Jay what a fucking monster he is for not realizing sooner etc. etc. etc. Like, Amy has to zip tie all the draws with knives in shut because otherwise Alex is actually going to do something impulsive and hurt himself. he is very not okay, like that thing with Jay was the final straw and with it's weight he's breaking.

Amy is to Alex what Tim is to Jay in this au. Like, she only gets one side of the story so obviously assumes that Alex is completely innocent in his and Jay's relationship, and Jay is a total monster. Which isn't true, they're both terrible to each other.

Alex needs to listen to Jay more and make it safer for Jay to talk to him about things, because if he did that Jay wouldn't feel the need to manipulate Alex to get what he wants from him. It definitely all kinda stems from Alex being super closed off emotionally to Jay, right? But just because it starts with Alex, doesn't mean that by the end Jay was kinda arguably worse than him. Y'know? Like, they make each other worse.

But like, yeah, Amy does the whole "I can save him" thing for Alex that Tim does for Jay. She thinks she can fix Alex, and at first it seems like she can, y'know, he moves schools and they live together and everything seems pretty good, Alex does get better when it comes to how he expects a partner to treat him. But in the end Amy can't fix the Operator sickness stuff (which i guess she didn't know about at first and all that but still, once that becomes obvious to her---e.g. Alex starts getting a lot more volatile even with her--- she thinks she'll be able to talk him through that as well)

#song ask #i went on a big old tangent about Alex and Amy in this. and a little bit about how Amylex and Jam are gonna mirror each other in this au?#marble hornets #jay merrick #alex kralie #jaylex #tim wright #mh jam #amy marble hornets #mh amylex #marble hornets fanfic #mh sorry its locked

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chaiandsage · 3 months ago

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Hello, it is me, I am back. I'm being insane about TL... again... It's my constant state at this point I fear.

Anyways, I was making myself a playlist for the story and was wondering if you had any songs that you personally associate with the fic and/or characters.

I may or may not also be reformatting the bind for a second print with a couple new features (that may or may not pretty much just be making all the comms messages formatted with the Minecraft font so they look more authentic... That's... definitely not the only think I am changing.... Listen, I know I'm insane, we do not need to talk about it)

Okay, so, sorry for the delayed reply, but you probably had no idea just how insane this question was going to make me. Because a lot of these songs are ones that I hold very close to me and some, in one way or another, were even the inspiration for a lot of major plot points that happened in the story. Others, however, I got really into while the fic was still being updated because some of my readers would comment about their own songs that they connected to Trust Life or would even make entire playlists for it--which I LOVED. So anyway, here's two different lists for each of those, complete with explanations that no one asked for on why I think they vibe with the story :D

My Personal Vibes

So quick side story, I worked in retail while I was writing up the story outline for this and most of my job involved doing some very repetitive and boring tasks that left plenty of brainpower to spare for me to think about and plan out the story while I was doing them. And I'm sure you know that most stores will just play a bunch of generic, upbeat, bubbly, pop music on loop the entire day (I kinda vibe with it ngl, but I get that it's not for everyone), but that was what I had to listen to throughout the day and like it or not, that was the music that I ended up coming up with a lot of ideas and fixing a lot of plot holes to. And honestly? I wouldn't have had it any other way. But my point is, if a few of these songs are kinda cheery sounding and don't seem like they have that much to do with the story's usual theme, just know that that's why, lol.

Can't Remember to Forget You - Shakira

Something, something... memory loss, Scott and Jimmy forgetting they were already a couple during Double Life... Neither of them being able to forget each other after the breakup--plus that one "kissing in the moonlight" line inspired that flashback scene that Scott had in chapter 43.

Part Of Me -Noah Kahan

Recognize the title? Chapter 30 baybeee. This was kind of how I wanted Tango's feelings for his previous boyfriends to come off. Not all of the lyrics are accurate, but most of it matches the tone I was trying to go for.

Pick Me Up - Sam Feldt, Sam Fischer

This one made had me thinking about snowbugs 24/7 and for as arguably disconnected from the theme of the story that the lyrics are it had absolutely no right to inspire as many scenes in this fic as it did. It's how I came up with how Scott's escape went after stealing the enchanter back in chapter 31 with him jumping off the roof (fun fact: that fight was originally gonna be during the day and it was gonna be Scott who threw the water and TANGO who jumped, but I changed it). It's also the inspiration for chapter 45 when they're storming the fortress and Scott and Tango have to help protect each other. ALSO--Remember the title to chapter 49??? Yeah, that's literally just one of the lyrics from this song. It freakin inspired the burning garden scene too. Get this song out of my head man, it's taken over my whole personality at this point...

Good Grief - Bastille

More of Scott and Jimmy just missing each other achingly and Scott in particular only being able to watch from the sidelines as Jimmy "moves on" with another man.

Still Into You - Paramore

Pretty self-explanatory. Kinda captures the vibe of the ending imo. Could be applied to almost all of the relationships and not just our main throuple.

Find an Island - BENEE

JOEL AND ETHO!!--Something about them moving too fast in their relationship during Double Life, the "storm" that was them getting their memories back, how they drifted away from each other thinking they'd be better off going without any contact, and of course the whole shipwreck and sailing theme here was just screaming "boat boys" to me.

Avalanche - Christian French

Less on-the-nose, but still a really fun vibe to me. Basically the insanity that followed after Double Life. The players realizing their feelings for other people. Can sort of be viewed more from Grian's perspective since he more or less "started" all this or at least he partially blames himself for it even if he didn't as much as all his friends all thought he had. He started the small tumble that spiraled into an avalanche as the drama continued to influence nearly everyone he knew.

Stitches - Shawn Mendes

More of Scott beating himself up both mentally and physically as he goes through his breakup at the beginning of the story. He can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop thinking about Jimmy... He's barely dragging himself forward on two feet as it is.

Thank Me Later - Sigrid

SCAR AND GRIAN--Basically Grian's whole perspective on Scar. He thinks that the person he loves will be better off if he just let him go. He knows that Scar isn't going to let go of him easily, but he deserves better. He just needs to convince him of that and maybe, as painful as it will be for Grian, Scar will move on.

Sucker - Jonas Brothers

Mostly vibes. Tango, Scott, and Jimmy doing crazy things together during the first three days of the game. Scott and Tango continuing to be menaces to everyone together even after Jimmy died. All three of them being like: "Hey, let's break into people's houses. Let's set things on fire. Let's steal and murder and fight monsters together. And while we're at it? Let's fall even deeper in love--because I kind of just realized that all of this is only fun to me because I'm doing it with you."

Hate You - Poylow & BAUWZ

THIS FUCKING- Okay... I hate that this very simple tune that I heard over a freakin YOUTUBE SHORT ended up inspiring a scene that was so fun to come up with that never even made it into the final outline, but picture this with me for a moment:

Tango doesn't realize his feelings for Scott right before the Wither attacks back in chapter 50. Instead, they're closer to their base when it happens. They just got done having that whole tense argument and "confession" and are still holding hands and staring at each other when Scott points out Tango's eyes again, not knowing what it means. Tango's eyes go wide. He pulls away, running over to their fish pond to see his reflection and... Oh god. No. No, no nonono-- His breathing is picking up. Every soft, caring interaction he's ever had with Scott now pass through his head in a blur. He realizes it was love. Scott asks what's wrong. Tango doesn't respond. He can't. What would he even say? Instead, he curls into a ball and tries to control his breathing while Scott crouches down and puts his hands on him, holding him in a hug as he panics and tries to sooth him, telling him that it's okay even though he doesn't quite know why Tango is acting this way all of a sudden. Tango hates it. He hates that he's fallen in love again and through that, might have very well ruined everything. Instead of being blown up right away, they have a few minutes to talk to each other. And in that time Tango, still not in the right headspace and through panicked breathing, asks Scott the straightforward, hypothetical question: "If I were to break up with Jimmy after this game ends and tell him to go back to you, would you ever forgive me for it?" And Scott can only look at him, horrified as he tries to form some string of words that make sense enough to give a proper response to that question that even he doesn't know how to answer... Up until the wither comes back once more to blow them up before they can even have a real conversation about it.

Haha... Oh well. I don't regret cutting this out to make the plot flow more smoothly (I needed a reason for Tango to check his comm in that moment) and it's mostly the same reaction from Tango either way. But still, it would have been a very fun scene to write that might have added a bit more spice to everything that was going on at the time.

Curses - The Crane Wives

You knew there'd be at least one Crane Wives song in here. I don't think there is a single person in this fandom who hasn't heard this song yet. It would have been a disservice not to add it here. But other than that, obviously, it's the title for chapter 56. The chapter where everything goes wrong and all of the remaining players die in quick succession to Grian and his traps. It's definitely the kind of song you listen to when you're trying to picture a scene where everything is meant to to go wrong all at once. And I love it for that.

Allies Or Enemies - The Crane Wives

No explanation needed. To me, this is the enemies to lover's national anthem.

The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives

Another Scott POV song, 100% (can you tell he's my favorite yet?). But it could also apply to all three of the Flower Ranchers depending on which lyrics are being sung.

"I could have been anyone else" Scott not believing Jimmy when he says he fell in love with him back in Third Life in only a week's time like he had with Tango. Scott thinking that if that really were the case, then he could have been anyone to Jimmy. He is convinced that Jimmy could have stumbled upon and teamed up with any other player during that game and the result would have still been the same.

"Before you made the choice for me" Jimmy being sad and angry with Scott for not accepting that he loved two people and refused to choose between them. Scott making that choice for him by outright leaving instead of trying to talk things over.

"We walked in the dark", "I never gave a single thought where it might lead" Tango and Jimmy, them falling in love while being in blissful ignorance brought about by their amnesia. Not even taking a second to consider that what was waiting for them on the other side of Double Life wasn't all rainbows and sunshine.

"All those empty rooms" Scott feeling alone, going back to a home that feels empty, one he used to share with the person he loved.

"I shine only with the light you gave me" Could be applied to Tango or Jimmy. They have self confidence issues. Tango thinks that Jimmy is the only one who isn't afraid of him. Jimmy thinks that both Scott and Tango could do better than him at some points in the story. They complete him. His life would feel so dim without them in it.

"We could have had anything, anything else. Instead you hoarded all that's left of me." Scott again. He and Jimmy could have had so many more long, happy years together. All that potential is gone now. Why did he have to leave him? Why did he have to such a large chunk of Scott's heart with him when he left?

"I wanna feel the fire that you kept from me." Kinda silly, for a while I thought this line was "kept FOR me" and not "kept FROM me", and I tied it to the act of Jimmy and Scott keeping their hearts warm for each other (whether they wanted to or not) in case the other decided to come back to them. They were mad at each other, but in all that time their love hadn't dimmed in the slightest. But after reading the actual line, I now think it's giving more like, Tango letting his fire out and Scott and Jimmy both accepting that as part of him with open arms, each during their own separate points in the story.

Songs from Readers' Playlists That I Fell In Love With

Can't Sleep Love- Pentatonix

Scott is a tired, tired man.

Your Stupid Face - Kaden MacKay

2nd enemies to lovers national anthem.

Hot Tea - Half Alive

Lots of themes of tea and love going on here.

The Fall - Half Alive

The person who added this song single handedly got me into Half Alive and made them one of my favorite bands.

Human Touch - Olen

Themes of waking up, breaking up, touch starvation... Also just a really fun listen in general.

Where We Started - Bailey Bryan

I think they added this as more in reference to Scott and Jimmy and how they were reconnecting during the first half of the game. But honestly? I listened to this back when the fic was only updated to chapter 29, and as the only person who knew how this whole story was meant to wrap up, it made me think more about the ending, or more like the final few chapters that I had planned out at the time where Jimmy and Scott finally figure out the kind of love that they want from each other after the game ends and try to figure out how to get back to how things were between them before their breakup. And it's a bit of a messy path for them to take, with them being all hesitant to kiss each other at the start of it, but they make it back to where they were before eventually, and I think this song captures all that beautifully.

Dandelions - Ruth B.

Ties to flowers, hopes, dreams... This one had no right to make me as emotional as it did, but damn.

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

TANGO SEEING SCOTT'S EYES--Seriously, he is so transfixed by them the entire fic and only finally gets to see their true color in the last few chapters. I love this.

Human - Christina Perri

"I CAN STAY AWAKE FOR DAYS IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTTTT"

Scott again with his self-destructive tendencies during the majority of the fic. He is very sad. This also kind of reminded me of Jimmy? Just cause its both him and Scott who are hiding their true emotions throughout the story.

Head Over Heels - Tears For Fears

@Milo-media made an animatic of the fic to this song and now it lives rent free in my head. What happened here. I don't even like 80's music but this song has been on my personal playlist for months now...

Go check it out if you haven't seen it cause it's awesome: https://www.tumblr.com/milo-media/740042336270254080/this-song-is-so-snowbugs-based-of-the-fic-trust?source=share

That's everything (I think?). If you actually did read all of that then... I'm sorry. Lol. Seriously though, please feel free to message or @ me if you ever post your full playlist. I will literally never get enough of people giving me the songs they think relate to Trust Life.

And if you'd like to see the full playlists made by the other beautiful people who read the fic, they can be found right here:

Playlist by Checkmace (Ao3):

Playlist by @nerdyenby (Tumblr):

Playlists by AndIcarusFell (Ao3)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg1d9yowJk-82qWZlR3CyiY5Ihf926JPJ

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg1d9yowJk-9oXUPWiB--1Zy_3W6BNdsm

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLg1d9yowJk-_YpVm8Ex_wgfQee3sXTUXU

#asks #trust life #ask about trust life music? get hit with a wall of text #i am so sorry for this/hj

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itsjaywalkers · 6 months ago

Note

Heyyyyy! It's me, the sweet ranter (and I'm very proud of my own tag!) and (as always) I will just rant a bit.

Yesterday was my first exam and I think it was good (but who knows). Tomorrow will be the next one, but I have that one pretty much in the bag, so I'm not concerned.

Anyways, what I actually wanted to say was that I finally had the time to read the rest of chapter two and it was AMAZING (just like the first one).

James just re-watching the video because of Regulus! That man is so far gone and I love it! <33

Then Barty and Evan (the menaces) being annoying as always and Barty crumbling after Regulus (the only smart one... scratch that, he lives in a haunted house BY CHOICE and doesn't do anything about it) just let it go because Barty can't go a minute without any attention.

WOLFSTAR! WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR! WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE?!?!? I WANT TO BITE THEM! <333

To wrap everything up: I LOVE IT! And will start reading chapter three as soon as I send this ask (I'm pretty exited about the black brother's reunion wich will for sure be dramatic and messy because they are... them)! :)

Much love (AND MANY LOVING BITES)! <333

hi darling!! i'm so glad u like ur new tag <3 (and sorry it took me so fucking long to get back to u, work has been especially bad, it was half term last week, i'm barely alive etc etc)

congrats on doing well in ur exam <3 so happy for u!! and i'm loving that confidence, i hope that second exam went well too but i'm sure it absolutely did!!

I'M SO GLAD U ENJOYED THAT CH i feel like making ghosts has a . very slow start . which isn't wrong necessarily but i know a lot of ppl don't like that when it comes to fanfic (or even in general) so u liking the beginning of that story and loving those first chs so much is Everything . to me . james rewatching reg's vid again and again is one of my fav scenes so far tbh

and i swear the whole barty evan reg dynamic in making ghosts is so so so special to me, i was so intimidated about writing both barty and evan and i wanted to get them right + it was sort of a gift to my sister bc she was the first reader of that story and she's fucking obsessed with rosekiller (mostly barty) like it's Bad. so i wanted to give her more content of them!! and they ended up coming so easy to me <3 and they Care so so so much about reg in their own questionable insane way.. they're the true mvps

WOLFSTAR ARE SO SILLY AND DOMESTIC AND BASICALLY A MARRIED COUPLE i adore them sooooo much

and yeah.. dramatic is definitely one way to describe their reunion..

thank u so much for keeping me updated on ur reading and im sending u all my love <333 a dozen kisses for u!!

#asks #sweet ranter tag #fic: making ghosts

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davnittbraes · 2 years ago

Text

The Fourth Step - Chapter Twenty-Five

Part of The World Is Light, Embodied.

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (not this chapter but the series as a whole)

Word Count: 4400

Warnings, etc.: absolutely ridiculous banter that I had way too much fun writing, ANGST I mean these two have had it pretty good lately so let’s not get too comfortable, negative self-talk (love yourselves bbys please,) references to past trauma, Peli Motto comes with her own warning, an OC makes an appearance

Notes: AND WE’RE BACK to regularly scheduled programming, sorry for the delay on this one, I hope it’s worth the wait 🤞. Also, I’m making stuff up about eopies here. Also also, I couldn’t figure out the plural of eopie - is it eopie? Eopies? Whatever I picked one and went with it. Come at me, SW fandom. Also also also, ten points to anyone who gets the pop culture references in the first scene.

Mando’a translations at the end of the chapter.

Please check out the Series Masterlist page for more info.

It’s all just so pleasantly, unremarkably domestic.

As if the couple months since you left Pax have always been your life, this routine of casual activities and quiet simplicities. Going to market together, smoothly trading responsibilities, discussing minor repairs for the Razor Crest and jointly caring for a child while bantering about the likelihood of said child being too stuffed full of treats to eat supper later.

As if you’ve tucked a child into bed after a long day a thousand times, stroking the skin between drowsy eyes and murmuring gentle goodnights and sleep wells, half-listening to the muted movements of another as he tidies up your shared living space, thoughts turning to the much-anticipated moments when you will be alone with him, nestled away from the world in the quiet of night.

As if it’s normal for you to sink into the arms of another who pulls you close, sharing murmured words and caresses and soft kisses that grow heated in the dark. To wake up the next morning, warm and secure in a firm embrace, and to go through the motions of getting a household up and ready for the day.

It’s all just so vividly, poignantly domestic.

And it shakes the very foundation of your self-understanding to realize that you like it.

Not so long ago, you had adamantly sought solitude, snubbed personal relationships, avoided any connection deeper than a tight smile and a quick nod. Life had been experienced through a filter of distrust and fear, everyone and everything a potential threat to the freedom you didn’t earn, this existence that you had only due to a random happenstance that let you escape.

It’s a bit unbelievable, that you’re here, now. Sitting in the cockpit of a starship, a child dozing in your lap after a morning of play, trading teasing barbs with a man who’s name has become embedded in that warm bright thing in your chest.

You chew your bottom lip, narrowing your eyes at the back of his helmet as he leans over the ship’s control console, reading some kind of diagnostic report. “As the Stars Burn?”

The helmet tilts. “No.”

“All My Younglings?”

“No again.”

“General Medbay. That one’s insanely popular, you have to know that one.”

“Never heard of it.”

You slump back in your chair, sighing in defeat, the kid grumbling softly at the movement. “I still don’t believe you. There’s no way someone as well-travelled as you has never - oh! Sex and Cloud City.”

The helmet turns, black visor meeting your gaze. “You made that one up.”

“I swear, it’s an actual show on the HoloNet.” You can’t hold back the bubble of laughter at the absolute incredulity in his voice, and the kid grumbles again as he’s jostled with the movement. Gently, you pick him up and set him in his pod, floating next to you. “It’s nominated for a bunch of awards this year.”

A soft snort filters through the modulator. “Not for its subtle writing, I assume.”

“People like what they like.” Leaning forward, you squint at the navigation map, the image just far enough away that it’s too blurry to make out. “Where are we? The Trailing Sectors?”

“Why don’t you come here and see for yourself?” His voice is deceptively light, casual suggestion lilting his words.

You recoil back into your chair, fingers gripping the seat tight. “Nope. Nuh uh. Me and my mechanical curse will stay right here, thank you.”

He turns to face you fully, beskar glinting in the blue-white light of hyperspace. “You’re more than capable of piloting this ship.”

“How did we get from looking at the nav map to piloting the ship? That’s the exact opposite direction this conversation should be going in.”

He goes quiet, still. Unseen gaze studying you from behind the black visor. The silence suddenly thickens, your skin itching with it but your limbs stay frozen, unable to move, pinned to your chair.

Your heartbeat stutters.

He’s assessing you. Determining his next move.

Well, doesn’t matter, there’s nothing he can say that will get you in that pilot’s chair.

His pauldrons shift as he rests his gloved hands on his thighs, looking far too relaxed and confident for your liking. “You’re smart, intuitive. Your reflexes are sharp. You’re good with your hands.”

An anxiousness floods your chest, pushing you to deflect from his compliments, throw him an exaggerated wink. “Good with my hands? Well, I guess you would have some experience with that.”

The helmet shakes once, a sigh of exasperation and amusement sifting through the modulator. “And I know you don’t truly believe in some sort of curse that damages mechanical equipment when you’re around it.”

“Until I see more evidence to the contrary, that’s the most reasonable explanation.” Ok good, you can manage this. His insistent but gentle prodding to convince you to learn to fly is something you’ve become used to over the last few months. Just hold your ground and -

“What if I’m not here and the kid is in danger?”

Pfassk.

Clever bastard.

He doesn’t even flinch when you glare at him. Just sits there looking smug - it doesn’t matter that you can’t see his face, you can tell.

Sighing dramatically, you raise your hands on defeat. “Fine. You got me. But if something explodes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Nothing is going to explode.” He stands, holding the chair steady as you settle into it.

Your fingers clench, digging into your thighs as you look down at the control console. Anxiety rumbles beneath the surface of your thoughts, quieting when a strong, gloved hand rests on the back of your neck.

He believes you can do this. At least give it a try.

His thumb strokes the curve of your neck, soothing. “So the first thing you have to remember is to breathe.”

A shaky huff of laughter triggers your lungs into working again. “Forget HoloNet dramas. You’re obviously obsessed with comedies.”

He chuckles softly. “Now that you’re closer, you can read the nav map and see where we are.”

Right, you know how to do that. Peering down at the small screen, you note the bold white lines, the positional beacon of the ship’s location. “So we are still in the Trailing Sectors. On the Triellus Trade Run.”

“Just passed Naboo, yes.” His free hand moves over the console, hovering above each group of buttons, switches and levers as he passes it. “This is the hyperdrive engine status, fuel gauges, proximity alert, autopilot sequencing, weapons.”

“Yep, got it, stay away from that part right there.” You eye the last group of controls cautiously.

“For now. Let’s start with the basics.” He steps back, folding his arms across his chest. “Take hold of the steering.”

Your gaze flies to his, nervousness spiking hot through the pit of your stomach. “While we’re in hyperspace?”

“You’re not going to do anything. Just grip the steering.”

Taking a deep breath, you face the console. “One final time, for record - if we blow up, it’s your fault.”

He doesn’t say anything, just waits patiently, watching you.

Fine. Ok. It’s just holding the steering. Nothing is going to happen.

Slowly, you lift your hands, curl your fingers around the side-sticks, slotting them into the ergonomic grooves. The grips are well-worn but still comfortable, a faint vibration of the engines buzzing against your palm.

You hold your breath, watching the various lights and screens carefully, waiting.

Nothing.

He breaks the silence, words gently teasing. “No explosions yet.”

Releasing your breath on a rush, you throw him a mock-glare. “‘Yet’ being the key word, there. Now what?”

He slips behind you again, gloved hand returning to its place on the back of your neck. “We’re not going to do anything while in hyperspace, but we can -“

A shrill beeping cuts through the air.

You instantly let go of the steering, jumping out of the chair and taking a step back as he takes your place, reaching over the console to pull up the system status. The alarm shuts off, last of it echoing through your thoughts in time with the pounding of your heart.

He flips another switch, sighing. “Coolant line sprung a leak. We’ll have to land to repair it.”

The lack of urgency in his voice calms your anxiety, relief washing through you. “How far can we make it?”

“Not far.” He turns to the navigation map. “Tatooine is our best bet. I know a mechanic there.”

You sink into your chair, glancing at the kid, who’s sitting up, nap forgotten, ears perked with curiosity. “Great, my curse not only damaged the ship, it also forced me back to the Galaxy’s Dustbin.”

The helmet turns to look back at you, tilting slightly. “You’re not cursed, tionas.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Tell that to the coolant line.”

*****

The twin suns are high above Mos Eisley as the Razor Crest dips into the hangar bay, creating a puff of dust that hasn’t quite settled as the crew door slides open, twitching your nose with the urge to sneeze.

Kriffing Tatooine.

Blinking against the bright sunlight, you barely get to take in your surroundings before a shrill voice pierces the air.

“Mando! What’s wrong with this hunk of junk now?”

The kid babbles cheerfully, shifting around to stand up in his pod with arms outstretched and Din grabs him before he loses his balance.

A short, curly-haired woman wearing coveralls strides up to the ramp, her deep scowl quickly shifting to a smile as she reaches for the kid. “Well hello there, bright eyes! Did you miss me?”

Din shifts the kid into her arms. “Coolant line is leaking.”

She turns a shrewd gaze in his direction. “Surprised it didn’t blow completely, the way you run the poor girl. Well, that won’t be cheap, as you know pre-Empire parts are hard to come by.”

That gaze shifts to you, assessing, even though she’s clearly still talking to him. “I thought you said you weren’t a taxi service, but here you are taking on passengers.”

Her words should be rude, condescending. You should be offended, you know that. But there’s something about her, an undiluted forthrightness that makes you like her instantly.

Din clears his throat, slipping a gloved hand around your waist to rest in the small of your back. “She’s not a passenger. She’s with me.”

Oh.

You’d never really talked about it, how he would introduce you to others. Actually, you’d never even given it much thought, so rarely did you come into contact with people that he knew.

So you weren’t prepared for the spark of heat to flare up your spine from the warmth of his hand, or the thrill that skittered along your heartbeat as his words sunk in.

Her gaze darts down your frame, sizing you up with absolutely no reservation or subtlety. “Interesting. Not who I expected you’d end up with. Anyway, don’t touch anything.”

Then she’s spinning around and striding away, cooing to the kid in her arms about getting him a snack.

The helmet flashes in the sunlight, black visor turning to look at you. “She didn’t mean… Peli can be…”

“Blunt?” You watch her feed the kid what looks like a piece of roasted meat, obviously delighting in how quickly he wolfs it down. “Honestly, it’s refreshing. I know exactly where I stand with her, and that’s somewhere between your romantic interest and a potential annoyance.”

“My ‘romantic interest?’” His voice lifts in amusement.

It takes every effort not to smile as you meet the black visor’s gaze. ��Yeah, you know. Like on those HoloNet dramas you love.”

Still, it’s not enough to hold back your laughter as his exasperated sigh filters through the modulator.

*****

After the kid had been fed to Peli’s satisfaction, she wasted no time diving into the Razor Crest, coming up with an extensive list of parts needed to repair the coolant leak. If it had been anyone else, you would have suspected manipulation, a specialist trying to take advantage of people who don’t know as much as they do about something, but Din trusts her, so you do, too.

Which is all well and good, but trust won’t buy starship parts.

And unfortunately, credits are running low between you and Din, who, of course, immediately insisted on going to find work to pay for the repairs. But as you so effectively argued, you were more likely to find work that didn’t include putting yourself in mortal danger than he was, so here you are now, roaming the streets of Mos Eisley in search of a job.

You squint against the sunlight, stepping around a group of Rodians pulling a large cart full of crates, and scan the storefronts for opportunities. Your best bet is probably a cantina, where word always gets around when people were looking for help, but sometimes you luck out by finding a shop owner in need of an extra hand -

Something big and lanky suddenly stumbles across your path, throwing you off balance. Your instincts take over and you grab the loose reins trailing after the creature, dig your boots into the dirt to pull it to a stop.

The creature honks in protest and your senses catch up.

An eopie.

You give the reins a quick tug, a sharp movement that pulls its short, trunk-like snout downward, directing its gaze to the ground, and slowly reach out to stroke along its flank, pitching your voice low. “Hey now, it’s ok, calm down, you’re ok.”

The eopie gives a honk in protest, tries to swing its head around but you tug the reins again, keeping it facing down, the crowds of the street out of its eyeline, and it heaves a sigh of relief, a tremor running along its wrinkled skin as it calms.

A voice calls from somewhere over your shoulder. “Kriff, are you alright?”

Keeping your hand on the eopie so you can feel if it tries to bolt again, you turn to see a man jogging toward you, leading a line of eopies connected by a transport rein.

You pat the eopie gently, throwing the man a friendly smile. “I’m fine, poor thing just got spooked.”

He pulls to a stop, glancing back to make sure the eopies behind him fall into line before turning back to you, gaze sweeping over your form. “She broke the lead, took off before I could grab her. You sure you’re alright?”

“Really, no harm done.” Handing the reins to him, you look down the line of eopies, curious. “She probably wouldn’t have gone much farther, anyway. They don’t like to stray too far from their herd.”

He smiles, and your stomach dips sharply - after the chaos of the last few moments you’re only just now realizing he’s… very attractive. The kind of handsome you would have eyed from across the bar in your younger days, but probably wouldn’t have worked up the nerve to approach.

He’s tall, with long, lean limbs and a trim build, defined muscles peaking through the low collar of his shirt. And there’s an openness to his features, a sweet and gentle kindness in the soft angles and warm gaze that instantly puts you at ease.

Dank farrik, he definitely breaks hearts with those eyes. Probably unintentionally, but still.

Right now, though, those eyes are fixed intently on you, bringing your focus back to the conversation.

He clears his throat gently. “Are you… busy, right now?” You blink, thrown off by the question, and he ducks his head sheepishly. “Sorry, let me explain. I run an eopie breeding business, and both of my employees are away - two brothers, their sister just had a baby in Anchorhead.”

One of the eopies shakes its head, tugging at the lead as if beckoning him to get on with it, and he chuckles self-deprecatingly. “Anyway, I’m trying to get five dozen eopies to transports around the city by the end of the day for shipment to the outposts. If you can help me out, I can pay you what I would have paid the two of them combined.”

The little laugh of incredulity that slips from your lips obviously takes him back, and you lift a hand in apology. “I’m actually looking for work for a couple days.”

His features shift into a delight that’s so endearing you can’t help but smile. “Well, guess we’re both lucky today.”

“Guess so.” You gesture toward the eopies. “Where are these guys going?”

“Transport Hub 68, on the north side.” He holds out his hand. “Should probably give my name, if we’re going to spend a couple days together. Mikresh Bhan.”

You take his hand and shake it firmly, pulling a name from the running list you keep in your head. Something short, unremarkable, an abbreviation of any number of similar names in multiple languages. “Call me Kas. Let’s get these to 68, then.”

*****

After an afternoon of leading eopies around Mos Eisley, you can confirm that the biggest problem isn’t getting the eopies to go where you want, it’s getting other people to move out of the kriffing way.

You glare after a woman who walked right toward you, without even attempting to go around the eopies, forcing you to guide them around her at the last minute. “Unbelievable. People are so self-absorbed and oblivious.” You pause. “Actually, that’s very believable, what am I saying.”

Mikresh laughs, a deep, warm sound that makes you smile automatically. “Especially in Mos Eisley. Everyone seems to have blinders on.”

“And something shoved up their ass.” You catch yourself, glancing back at him. “Sorry if that was rude. The path between my thoughts and my mouth is frustratingly short sometimes. And all the time, when it comes to talking about this scud-hole of a city.”

“No apology needed.” He looks around the crowd. “Everyone here keeps their cards close to their chest, always listening for someone else to slip up so they can use it to their advantage. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone who just spoke their mind.”

“You do seem a bit too honest to be living in Mos Eisley.” You turn a corner, giving a wide enough berth to the merchant stalls lining this part of the street that the eopies won’t get distracted by the bartering customers.

He laughs again. “Yeah, wasn’t my first choice. But we go where the work takes us, right?”

You open your mouth to agree, but the words stop up on your tongue, feeling odd and out of place.

Mikresh assumed you were one of those people drifting from planet to planet, picking up odd jobs as they went, and you hadn’t said anything to correct him. It was best if he thought you were unattached, with no true goals or commitments beyond finding the next job.

Which was true, for most of your life. You didn’t “come from” anywhere, or call any particular place home.

But now?

Now you had a child who had you entirely wrapped around his tiny green claw, and a man who made you forget every bad thing that had ever happened to you with a simple murmur of the nickname he’d given you against your skin.

Now you had a -

Something stops that line of thought, abrupt, a sharp jagged tear through the warm bright thing in your chest.

A deep-rooted shadow, crawling from the depths of your mind, dormant for the last few months but still there.

Always there.

It latches on, spreads over your thoughts, twists your stomach until it hurts.

Your teeth bite into your bottom lip, hard enough to sting.

Stupid girl.

You let some mushy emotions blind you to reality.

The time you’ve spent with Din and the kid, the moments of vulnerability, the secrets you’ve shared - it doesn’t change who you really are.

You’re exactly who Mikresh thinks you are.

A drifter, a nobody. Someone who jumps from planet to planet, identity to identity. Running from a past that you’ll never truly escape, can only hope to stay one step ahead of.

This life, this existence of comfort and safety and trust -

It’s all temporary. It always has been, and always will be.

Eventually, the kid will go to the Jedi. A society known for its strict adherence to rules that ban emotional attachments.

You’ll never see him again.

Eventually, Din will find his people. A people who he has sworn to protect, warriors who prize bravery and strength and purity of their culture above all else.

You’re no Mandalorian. You, with scars that prove you bowed to others.

And eventually, your past will find you, and you’ll have to run again. Keep moving, never settle.

Because that’s your life.

Not those sweet moments of domesticity, or beautiful intimacy found in the dark, or playful banter about things that don’t really matter.

You will always end up alone, running, afraid. No amount of loving embraces and calm statements of relationship to strangers and soft words full of emotion you don’t want to name will change that.

“There they are, the buyers are just down the street, see them?”

Mikresh’s voice shatters your inward focus, yanking you back into the moment. You look in the direction he’s pointing, see the two Bothans watching you expectantly.

Blinking back the shadows creeping along the edges of your vision, you force your attention to the job at hand. You’ll find time to parse through those realizations later. “Yep, I see them. How many more after this?”

“Just two more.”

Glancing over your shoulder, you throw him a smile. “Next time, it’s your turn to dodge oblivious assholes.”

*****

Loud banging echoes through the hangar as you walk in, interspersed with muffled cursing you can only partially make out. Moving around to the other side of the Razor Crest, you see why - Peli is half-hanging out of a hole in the ship, legs kicking with each bang as she obviously swings some kind of tool at whatever it is she cursing out inside the ship.

You pause, taking in the scene. Parts are scattered about the yard, durasteel panels and other unidentifiables. There’s a general air of frustration that you can feel as you get closer, the kind that builds after one too many things go wrong.

A flash of silver - Din, standing next to Peli, holding a mess of hoses and wires out of her way. He looks up, black visor finding you immediately, and your heartbeat flutters at the sensation of his unseen gaze on you.

The kid’s cheerful babble pulls your gaze to where he’s perched on top of a discarded pile of tools.

The warm bright thing in your chest squeezes, then the dark thing in your mind clutches tight. Your instinctual smile at the kid fades, but you force yourself to reach out, brush a fingertip along the top of his ear as you pass him.

Peli hits whatever it is she’s assaulting, shouting in triumph when there’s a subsequent crash. She pulls herself out of the ship, glaring at Din. “Damn thing finally let go. You know, this entire system needs a complete overhaul - half the components are rusted. I don’t even know how that happens with durasteel. Just your luck, I guess.”

She catches sight of you, then glances up at the sky. “Dosh, sunset already? I’ve got to finish up, new neighbours have been complaining about the noise at night lately - what kind of moof-milker moves next to a hangar if they’re fussy about noise?”

She strides away, grumbling under her breath, grabbing tools that are scattered throughout the yard and tossing them into various crates.

You avoid her path of vexation, making your way to Din as he lets go of the hoses and wires. “I almost don’t want to ask, but I’m curious enough to risk it - how’s it going?”

His sigh filters heavily through the modulator. “It’s not just a coolant line, it’s the whole system.”

Your stomach twists with unease. “That sounds expensive.”

“It’s… not cheap. Peli got a below-market price on parts, but they’re still an unexpected cost.” He leans back against the ship, resting his hands on his belt. “More credits than we have right now.”

“Maybe not.” Digging into the pocket of your jacket, you pull out the envelope Mikresh had given you when you’d parted ways. “Will this cover it? If that’s not enough, I have work lined up for the same amount tomorrow, and I might be able to get another day of it.”

The helmet tilts, black visor looking at the envelope in your hand, but he doesn’t move to take it, words coming slow and uncertain. “I’ve been thinking… I know we’ve been sharing costs for food and supplies when needed, but… this is different.”

That knot of anxiety you’ve been trying to ignore all day twists and turns, digging painfully under your ribs, pulled tighter by the dark thing in your mind.

You swallow hard, try to keep your voice steady against the tremor that threatens to shake your hand, still outstretched toward him. “How is it different?”

“It’s my ship. My responsibility. I’ll find a way to make credits to pay for the repairs.”

A loud crash startles you, and Din strides toward the sound - the kid, looking up from the pile of parts he just knocked over, ears drooping and big eyes wide.

Din scoops him up smoothly, patting his back soothingly while shaking his head in disappointment. “You have to be careful, kid, you could have hurt yourself or someone else.”

The kid coos quietly, curling his tiny claws into Din’s cowl.

That knot under your ribs unravels, spreads throughout your body, pulling muscles tight.

It’s his ship.

Not yours.

Just as the kid is his. You have no true connection to him.

To either of them.

Din shifts the kid into the crook of his arm like he’s done countless times, starts to help Peli clean up.

The dying sunlight bounces off his pauldron, illuminating the signet in a flash that pierces right through your heart.

They’re a clan. Even when they part ways, they’ll always have that - a bond of shared experiences you’ll never truly understand, a sense of belonging they will carry with them for the rest of their life.

You don’t really belong anywhere.

You never have. And you never will. *****

Mando’a translations

tionas - question

***** Previous Chapter Next Chapter

#the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian x female reader #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x f!reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #mando x reader #mando x female reader #mando x you #mando x f!reader #reader insert #no y/n #the world is light embodied

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laurmaus · 8 months ago

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my rant (analysis????thing about that one scene in Our Fears Mcd thats been hidden in my notes app for like 2 years sorry it’s a little long

ok so it’s been a few days and i completely forgot most of what i was gonna say about the whole dante aphmau illusion bht the whole thing was so ?????????? liek the way garroth and ESPECIALLY laurence’s reactions to their “worst fear” and their worst fear itself is SOOO FUCKING WEIRD and out of character becayse that’s NOT what their worst fear woulld be ????)))))) starting with garroth because his whole personality as a guard is that he wants nothing but happiness and safety for aphmau and like we don’t know a lot about his personal life and struggles besides like zane and the whole dispwnment thing ok maybe we do but what i’m trying to say is that aphmau holding hands and Kissing a guy is Not his worst fucking fear………. the whole scene could’be been so much better if the illusion was aphmau Dead or like extremely hurt or fake dante threatening the two to hurt aphmau right in front of them or something like the whole shipping bait was so unnecessary I KNOW ITS NOT THAT DEEP BUT 😑😑😑 ok now for layrence he was done SOOOOO DIRTY like Extremely dirty from the way he reacted to the fact that his worst fear was aphmau just kissing dante too…….. starting with how he reacted it was INSANELY out of character for the time that it was written there was no build up to his personality suddenly switching to anger ridden like he’s never been seen like this before ?????? skimming through the moments hes had since he’s still generally New to the series he has NEVER lashed out like that??????? even when zane was insulting aphmau and he had to lie to make it seem like they were together he is Cool Calm and Collected it’s so weird so see him get so mad so quick like he was YELLINNGGGG thad was some unnecessarily. Possessive reaaction personally it makes more sense when i add the fact that my theeory is rhag he believed aphmau was under hypnosis or a spell or something but this is COMPLETELY a theory like it’s the only explanation to him acting out like that PLUS THE FACT THAT HE TRIED TO ATTACK DANTE ????????? he CONSIOUSLY WENT TO ATTACK HIM JUSF BC HE WAS GONNA KISS APHMAU I GET THAT HE THIUGHT SHE WAS IN DANGER UNDER THE PREMISE OF A SUPPOSED SPELL BUT OTHERWISE THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE…. i KNOW for a fact aphmau ddint think that far through and just wanted a ooooh my guards are Jelous☺️☺️moment and its aggrivating bevauuse i KNOW that he should have been asking if she was ok instead of just arguing at a ghost i get that hees protective but😞 you can HEAR HIM SLASH HIM REPEADLY TOO LIKE I KNOW HE STABBED THAT SWOORD STRAIGHT THROUGH HIS BACK OR WRM OR SMEHTING UOOU HEAR IT GO IN EEUEUUEGH the cheap sound effect is So😦(samsung version) THIS PLUS HIS GENERAL AREGIVATED DEMEANOR ENCOURAGES THE IDEA THAT LAURENCE CARES MORE ABOUT GOING AFTER WAHTEVER IS THREATENING HIM INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON GETTING WPHMAU AWAY (which is the OPPOSITE of what happened in the nether when saving the chicken sha man+ MAKING SURE SHES OK ANF FURTHER SUPPORTS GARROTHS SUSPICIONS i could say that the remnants from him being a shadow night like made him be way more violently impulsive but from the videos canonicity itself i know aphmau wasn’t thinking of that when writing this scene… personally i gues i see how this could be in character i just cannt sincerely undedstand how laurence’s morals and beliefs coincide with attempting to harm a possibly innocent man it’s so ARURRGGGGGDDD (sound effect sounds better in my head trust me☹️

ok now to the fear itself layrence is not even officially apart of the guard he hasn’t known aphmau for too long INCLUDING the Months(?) that he was trapped in the nether for and i KNOW they’re really close now and he apparently has a crush on her (WHICH WAS SUPER SUDDEN TOO AND ALSO OVERWRITES PREVIOUS LORE ABOUT HIM NOT LIKING SASHA AND THAT SHE WAS THE ONLY ONR THAT HE COULD BE “normal with” ((SUPER COOL IDEA BTW I REALLY LIKED THAT!!!!!!! THEN HE SUDDENLY ANNOUNCED THAT HE SNOULDNT HAVE LET SASHA GO ???????? i guess it could just be chslked up to him lying but what need was there for that….. the switch up is so random and like she’s suppose to be dead when he said that why not just admit you loved her i guess it could’ve been laurence still not accepting the fact that he actually loved her but i don’t think aph meant for his words to be so deep seeing how she writes mcd😭😭😭😭 if they geniuenly wanted to develop the idea that laurence has a crush on aphmau then wouldn’t it make more sense for him to say he had a crush on her and after she died it was difficult blah blah blah BONDING!!!!! and then at the end he couldve been like oh…. speaking to you right now reminds me of how we use to t- nevermind. IDK ITS CONRY BUT IT MAKES SO MICH MORE SENSE STORY WISE/// THE WHOLE THING SO FUCKING WEIRD AND ALL TO BUILD UP TO HIM HETTING A SPONANOUS CRUSH ON APHMAU FOR NO FUCKUNG REASON. HIS ENTIRE PERSONALOTY IS BASED ON A MAN THATS A CASANOVA BUT DOESNT ACTUALLY FEEL ANY ROMANTIC ATTRACTION TOWARDS THE WOMEN HE CHASES!!!!!!!!! laurence canonically struggles with expressing himself sincerely and ended up coping by making hismelf out to be a douchebaggy man who feels the need to flirt with everyone in order to feel validated by people that (in his mind) wouldn’t like him otherwise!!!! this chatavyer concept opened a HUGE DOOR for development which we actually started ti see when he opened up about his persona and started to interact with aphmau as less of a fake love interest but a friend!!!!!!!!!! but knowing that he DID indeed love sasha AND loves aphmau makes their development into closer friends void because it was a supposedly a crush the whole time i really don’t think it’s that serious i juus feel like SO MUCH WAS THROWN AWAY FOR A FORCED CRUSH THAT COULD HAVE BEEN BUILT UP MUCH BETTER THAN IT WAS!!!!!!!!!! i’m like skimming through old episodes right now and have rewatched that one section in Our Fears like Twenty times so far to analyze but watching laurence and aphmau banter is really silly and☹️☹️☹️it sucks how they cant just be funny friends with and loving eachother geniuennly with the /r jokes here annd there not because laurence has a not so secret crush on pahmau but because they’re wacky friends!!!!!!! bffs where one (Phmau helps the other (L heal and overcome his struggles !!!!!! their dynamic is so fun and lively annf laurence’s character development up to this point had been really satisfying minus the crush😞😞 everuhtingg is so susaauuauaaaaaaaihh jusf BE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!! BE FRIENDS PLEASE but anyways he’s not even apart of liekt he pheonix drop guard i guess ????? at this time which makes his worst fear beign aphmau being kissed by another man so Pathetic he has cadenza and the nether people and him being a shadow guard and just so much more to worry about than aphmau same with garroth!!!!!!! i feel like there’s so much mroe that could’ve been explored if they had just considered making the illusion more Personal ?????? i was also thinking that making them both see a completely different illusion I DONG KNOW HIW TO EXPLAIN IT LIKE oooh smoke Sparkles Boom they’re in a different place and see the fear like it was done for aphmaus fear and dante’s fear!!!!!!!

going back to garroth too a few episodes ago he was talking about how he was afraid that something might happen with laurence now that’s he can see so maybe the illusion could have been laurence attacking aphmmau right in front of him and like his armor and weapons are gone when he goes to fight and hes like 😦😦 or replace laurence with zane or whatevver or he’s like married to his fiancé and aphmau is Gone what i’m saying is there was SO MUCH POTIENTIAL OOOH O AND LIKE LAURENNCES PERSONAL ILLUSIOKN COULD HAVE BEEN HIM HRUTING ALHMAU OR CADENZA AGAINNDT HIS WILL AS LIKR A SHADOW NIGHT!!!!!!!! OR IDK IMAGINNE “we should split up and look around for……” BOOM garroth looks to the left and lauurence is GONE….. it’s all like ?$)&!???!?? until he looks fowaard at the steeps and 💥💥😨😨😨 LAURENCE is STANDUNG there with APHMAU HURT ON THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!!! n he’s like laurenncz….??????? thannk irene you found hLAURNECE!!!!??!;???;??🤯🤯🤯 actually BETTER IDEA THIS IS THE BEBEST ONE ITS ONE ILLUSION NOT TWO SEPERATE ONES!!!!! RIGHT SO GARROTH IS JUST THHERE AND SEED LAURENCE AND HE LIKE SUDDENLY GAINS CONSIOUSNNES AND LIKE LOOKS DOWN BOOM SHADOW KNIGHT ARMMOR HES GOT A SWORD IN HIS HAND AND ITS COVVERE IN BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!! loook doen Aphmau There she’s Gone in that one pose you know the one i’m talking about and then he turnns around 2 c the garroth thags just in taht one standing emoji pose and he like seees the blood on his dacve and OOOH IT WOUKDVE BEEN SO COOL… i understand the limitations that come with making a roleplay series with npcs ghat have like limited movement obvsiosuly it wouldn’t be as elaborate as this but i see it in my Mind…… ONE LAST THING BEFORE I FORGET it not sure if this is a typo or intentional or just a little fact that wasnnt meant to be taken all that serious but when malachi was explaining his backstory he mentioned how he could show peoples “fears” not exclusively their “greatest fear” WHICH might excuse this entire scene (minus the inaccurate character portrayls ) and make most of what i said void but i still stand by all of it!!!!!!!!! i’m not taking this excuse from someone who mistyped one of their MOST IMPORTANT character’s name MULTIPLE TIMES to the point where a misspelling became their canon name😭😭😭😭 but overall i jsur feel ike this entire episode and concept of a “greatest fear” being watered down to throwing some wood into a Shipping Arguement Fire for the two most important characters right after aphmau could have been so much more!!!!!!! like i get that aphmau getting with someone else might just be one of garroth and laurence’s shared fear but that doesn’t excuse how laurence acted and ESPECIALLY how uncharacteristically their dialogue was after the whole debacle OH MY GOD I DIDNNNT EVEN MENTION JOW THEY ACTDD ATTERWORDS ok i’m getting tired of this Long ass essay but basically afterwords they kept questioning aphmau and dante on whether or not they kissed or whatevver and i feel so dumb right nowow this is unrelated but i’m just laying here on mymt bed Wirting this at 11:32 am instead of drawing or beingpeoduxtive or skemtjjngnevevrmind i joined a. Friend Call😊😊😊😊

ojay i left nothing interesting was happening but getting back on topic the fact that only laurence seemed to be concerned about aphmaus well beign when the whole illusion was over seems so weird especially since i would’ve expected garroth to say something about her aswell ?????? this is definitely nitpicky i just feel like i should mention the emphasis on dante and aphmau kissing instead of aphmaus wellbeing like they Shouldvve been douign…… like maybe ask about the next course of action or who dante is and what theyvve gone through or if theyre hurt wspecially laurenc before this episod he was more a less soft spoken i LOVVVE his Sassy Man persona just not before his actual character beliefs IDK HWO TO FEEL ABOUT THIS ANYMOORE yes i get theuure in shock i just feel like therees something off about this whole thing and i CANR EXPLAIN IT IN WOORDS I XANNT!!!!! i need teb notes all to be plugged into my mindndohmtmtgoodoss cddbdsdxxxcccccc cbc but yeah laurence is funny while he’s questioning them though so it’s ok and then afterwards when garroth is lik “especially the vision we saw now… that was, hard to take.” seems so out of place and weird wny doesn’t he question what happened or how they even found the child of wahetever the more the series goes on everythign seems to shift to focus more on the shipping aspects of things instead of going towards what the characters would realistically be worried about yeah yeah it’s her show i just wish that a little more was out into the dialogue during this bit to flesh them out more maybe i’m completely misinterpeting their characterrs because i’m Wacky but woudlnbg aph b like telling him everurjjng i DONNT JNWO!!!!!!!!!!!! overall i dont think the entire confrontation scene should have happened i thjnk they would have talked to aphmau eprsonally about what happenend instead of just Lamboding idk the word but that’s what i said in my head on dante and him kissing apjmau as guards that should not be their priority and i praay this is a one time thing otherwise scene was fine by itself i love❤️ Aph Mau team garmau forevver though (as of now(

no but srs i know this all sounds really corny and imm sure i look crazy right nowwhile you read this all out but this is liek directly from my brain to the paeer these are my Thoughts live not includdinng the ones i coudknnt add bc i was somehehrre else and then jsut Forgot about it!!!!!!!!!!! it’s crazy too becwysue this scene has always had such a special place in my heart (Gross) ever since i watched it when it first came out i ate this shit up!!!!!! annd now to look back and realize everything that was wrong with this part of the video and i know that there’s a BUNCH of more off moments like these but this one is just SO imporrynant to me i Sont know why and i can’t remmeber anymore because my okd notion of the video has been replacced eith me watchingn it from a few days ago but to seee myswlf continue to be interested by this straange but charming continuity annd story it’s just so important to me and was a HUGE part of my childhoood i would watch new videos from aphmau when they came out n eveerutnjng i remmeber hetting on the couch at like 9am to watch her new fnaf series videos i explicitly remember the one with the puppet jumpscare i was so fuckign scared😭😭😭😭 and i remmebr watching this one early in the morning too i thjnk idk jf this is me misremmebrjng and my brain being jumbled up bevauus that Happens sketimems and mixing up which videos i watched but i KNOW i would wake up early in the mirnirng to go to the livingn room and watch Aphmau i feel the need to critique it for what it is now and juust be Hinest with msuellf since i just saw so kuch wrong id dinnt know where i was going with this but i care for thier characters so much i just wnnat them to b real and Happy☹️☹️ love u guuys

#15 yo me was MAD AS HELL i was re reading this like DAMNNNNN #I don’t know if any of this makes sense sorry if it doesn’t talk it out with past me😭#shout out to @xerith-42 for reminding me of my UNNECESSARILY LONG notes app bullet point doc where i would write every single thought i ha #during every episode that was kind of annoying but i have no regrets bc now i get to look back😊#I geniuenly think i’m gonna rewatch mcd from tbe begining bc the version of me who wrote this sees everyone COMPLETELY differently than how #i currently do and that’s definelty because i don’t remember a lot from what i rewatched over a year ago so i should probably get on that #Thank you notes app #mcd #minecraft diaries #aphblr #No but i remember thinking about this shit as i was trying to sleep Shaking my fist to the sky in my brain like”Jessica bravura…..what have #you done….. i knew i was mad but i didn’t know i was THAT serious about this Oh my god

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