#sorry today she chose Bullying LMAO | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ghastlybin · 2 years ago

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Request: DC Dami x reader school au. The reader is mute from past trauma and is constantly being bullied at school. Dami who's popular stands up for them. After she comforts the reader. I hope that made sense lol.

Hello! Thank you for requesting :) I hope this is what you meant? I did a lot of research and I'm hoping I did an alright job at it! please let me know if anything in here is offensive! I'm not too familiar with the topic of being mute prior to researching so please PLEASE let me know! It's also 2AM so if there are typos, I apologize.

Pairing: Dreamcatcher's Dami x (gender neutral) Reader

Word count: 1,074

Contents: Angst, comfort (towards the end), School AU.

TW: Bullying, Trauma, Mutism, Mature language, this is angsty so please proceed with caution!

Note: I am not sure if mutism is a trigger, but I included it just in case because anon said it was caused by past traumas so if it's offensive to have that as a TW, pleaseeeee let me know so I can edit it! ALSO, I chose a random name for the main bully, I am so sorry if coincidentally your name is Karen! If it is, you're the better Karen lmao okay onwards, enough stalling

AAC = a device or program used to help people who can't speak communicate.

Just today and I can get out of here. One more tomorrow and I will be out of here for good.

It’s the words you’d replay in your mind every morning as you wake up, every night before you fall asleep- Those words replayed like a mantra in your mind.

Even being pushed and shoved and degraded, you didn’t let it show exactly how your peers have hurt you. They didn’t see the tears you’ve shed; They never knew about the sleepless nights you spent trying to make time slower so you wouldn’t have to experience the torment you faced, and they surely know nothing about you for you to have deserved this.

“Holy shit,” the one voice you hoped to avoid made your heart momentarily stop with the fear she had induced. “You’re still here? You’re harder to get rid of than cockroaches!”

You didn’t respond- You never did. Keeping your head low, you attempted to walk away from her; Whatever her name was. You never caught it.

Or cared much to learn about the person who led others into joining in on your torment.

She pushed you back harshly, causing you to lose footing and crashing to the linoleum floor.

“I wasn’t finished.”

She stood over you, intimidatingly as a small crowd had formed. All of whom you felt unsafe with.

“Speak and we may let you go.”

Dami walked with Gahyeon, only half paying attention to what she was saying.

“What do you think?” Gahyeon asked, worry on her features. Dami knitted her eyebrows together, looking at the crowd of people blocking her and Gahyeon’s path.

“Dami?” Gahyeon tried to receive an answer from her again. Dami glanced at Gahyeon, then back at the crowd.

“Sorry, follow your heart.”

Gahyeon followed Dami’s gaze, barely wondering why there was a crowd formed. “I will ask you again later…”

Dami pushed through the crowd with Gahyeon. Luckily, anyone in the way had parted to let them pass.

“Not going to speak?”

Dami’s mouth curled into a frown after hearing your bully taunt you. You looked at Dami, embarrassed that she had seen you in a moment of fear. Weakness, you thought.

“Oh, Dami! Don’t you agree the freak should speak? Or are they faking it?”

Dami felt her blood boiling. You, however, felt used to her harsh words.

Even if it still hurt.

“Maybe pulled your head out of your ass, you’d see that it’s actually none of your business, Karen.” Dami remarked, standing her ground with a glare shooting straight at Karen.

You took time to open then AAC app in your phone, typing a message to be spoken aloud.

“Whatever. Can’t believe you are actually defending them.”

You hesitated but pressed ‘play’ for the text to be read out loud.

‘Fuck you, Karen.’

Karen widened her eyes, her cheeks flushing red and her jaw clenching simultaneously. She kicked the phone out of your hand and lunged at you before you could move away.

Dami moved fast, yanking Karen’s shirt roughly to pull her off of you. You crawled towards your phone, clutching it in your shaking hands. Whether it was just adrenaline or the fear you had from what you had done, you managed to stand up and rush through the crowd of people in surprise.

“If I hear you have gone near them- Any of you, you will wish you hadn’t.” Dami glared around at the crowd. More specifically at Karen, who was disoriented and slightly embarrassed from officially ending up on Dami’s bad side.

Especially considering Dami was idolized by many of Karen’s friends.

“Yeah!” Gahyeon added, attempting to add emphasis to Dami’s warning.

Dami searched the crowd, looking for you, only for you to be nowhere to be seen. She gestured for the crowd to part so she could pass through- Which they did, not wasting a second.

She looked around the school for you. She checked various classrooms, the gym, the auditorium, even the restrooms.

Only when she went outside is when she found you, crying to yourself and holding your phone tightly in your shaking hands.

“Hey, I’m sorry if you want to be alone,” Dami slowly sat beside you, “but I wanted to check on you.”

You turned on your phone and began to type a response to her. You showed her the screen, not wanting to play the audio out loud in case someone else overheard.

Dami gently grabbed your wrist to steady the shaking a little.

‘I’m okay. Thank you.’

Dami shook her head, letting your wrist go. “You don’t need to thank me. The bullying has gone on too long. I’m sorry Karen and her minions chose to hurt you.”

You were torn on whether to just listen to her talk or type something else for her as a response. Dami looked at you, shifting herself to show you that you had her full attention.

“I want you to know that I’m here for you, always.” she slowly reached for your hand, “I would also like to get to know you better.”

You used your sleeve to wipe the tears off your face, turning your phone on to type again.

‘Me too.’

“Good.” Dami smiled, squeezing your hand before letting go. “I am also proud of you for standing up to Karen. I doubt anyone expected you to after seeing how brutal she was towards you.”

You frowned, remembering the years of bullying you’ve endured from Karen and the others. Dami mistook your frown as you being offended, to which she quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to basically call you weak, I just meant that… I don’t think I would’ve survived… This came out all wrong.”

You rested a hand on her shoulder, getting her attention and showing her the message you had typed for her during her explanation.

‘I get it. Don’t worry.’

Dami softly sighed in relief. “I just think you’re a very strong person and you deserve a lot better than what you got.”

You didn’t believe her at first- It was hard, especially when you felt the world had turned on you. Dami stood up, looking towards the doors into the school, seeing Gahyeon headed towards the two of you.

Dami looked back at you, nodding towards Gahyeon who was almost there.

“Would you like to join us?”

No matter how long it would take to heal, you slowly felt less alone in the world.

#hey 1k words aint bad imo #i do feel like i can do better though #dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher dami #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher dami imagine #dreamcatcher dami x reader #TW

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sixtyeightdays · 5 years ago

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Only you, Marinette. Only you.

in which marinette lifts thors hammer with no knowledge of how great it is to wield mjolnir 😔✋🏻

kind of crappy but thats okay

Normally, when Tony Stark's name was brought up, the following words would be either 'Avengers', 'Iron Man', or something along the lines of cool and amazing.

But this time, as Tony Stark's name fluttered through the compound of College Francois Dupont, the following words were 'Why her', 'What happened', and'Marinette Dupain-Cheng'.

See, throughout Lila's entire reign at Francois Dupont, unknowingly to the Italian, a certain bluenette had been giving her and all of her classmates choices.

Lila chose to ignore Marinette's warning.

Alya chose to believe Lila and cut off all ties with Marinette.

Nino chose to follow Alya and ignore Marinette.

Adrien chose to remain quiet for fear of Lila getting akumatised.

The class chose to believe Lila, drinking up her lies and claimed connections to celebrities that'll 'boost their careers in the future'.

Now, Marinette wasn't normally one to show off her connections to the world, unlike Lila, who lied about celebrities with every breath she took.

No, Marinette preferred not to mention her celebrity contacts.

However, this time, she had thrown all caution out the window and texted him.

mari <3

cant wait to see all of you soon!

do you think you can pick me up at my school drop off point after i end school instead of the bakery next week?

the one and only

sure thing, mari

everyone misses you too and they cant wait to see you again

any reasons why the sudden change though

mari <3

no reason

It was a week before he arrived. A week full of taunts and bullying from the people who used to be her friends.

But the day had come, and Marinette was about to leave this place for the summer, and was finally going to be where she wanted to be again.

It was the last period, and Marinette, having finished her work already, started on a new design. She had just finished it when the door crashed open, making Mlle. Bustier and the class jump.

The shock turned into exciting adoration, however, as standing there in all his glory were the Avengers.

Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Thor, and of course, Tony Stark. Pepper was also there, trailing behind with Natasha who were muttering about how dramatic the boys were.

Alya immediately jumped to her feet, fumbling for her phone that she held with shaking hands, and started a livestream.

'Hi everyone! It's your Ladyblogger here, and today the Avengers came to visit! Oh, I bet Lila got them to come, she is Tony Stark's goddaughter after all.'

No one noticed Marinette snort into her palm.

Max gaped at his idol in the doorway, his glasses sliding off his face in his shock before he hastily placed them in it's proper position.

Thor ignored the reporter, making his way to the back of the class where Mari sat, placing his hammer on top of Mari's sketchbook, much to her chagrin.

The devious smile the god gave her confirmed that he did it on purpose, and Mari smacked him in the arm and glared at him.

'Was it really necessary to break down the door?' She deadpanned, unimpressed.

Alya gasped. 'Marinette! Don't be so rude to the Avengers! They're here for Lila, not you.'

Thor frowned in confusion. 'Who is this.. Lila you speak of?'

Alya gasped again. 'She's Tony Stark's goddaughter!' She frowned at the god disapprovingly.

'She spends her summers there, how could you not recognise her?' The Italian in question was sinking into her seat, regretting the lie she told.

Tony clicked his tongue.

'I have a goddaughter, yes, but it isn't this Lila girl. I have never heard of a Lila. No, I'm here for Marinette, my actual goddaughter.' He shot a pointed look to Alya at the last bit, before he and everyone else walked over to Mari.

Pepper passed by Alya and handed out two stacks of papers.

Alya cautiously picked it up and Pepper said, 'These are lawsuits for both you and Lila. It is for defamation and slander of different celebrities, as well as spreading false information.'

Alya gaped at the blonde as she made her way up the stairs to where Mari and everyone else was before turning to Lila with a glare.

'Were you lying the whole time?'

The class erupted in shouts at the girl, until she broke and called out that Adrien had known, but didn't say anything.

'It was for the best! Her lies weren't hurting anyone!'

'I didn't submit my music portfolio because Lila said she'd guaranteed me a spot.' Nino uttered quietly, realising that he had lost a chance to have his big break.

Mylene looked gobsmacked. 'I passed up the offer of meeting Alexander Hamilton because Lila said she'd get him to meet me for free.'

One by one, the students began listing everything they missed out because of Lila's lies, from Alix not being able to be in the X-Games like she was promised, to Kim, who had quit his swim team because Lila told him she'd get Michael Phelps to train him personally.

Adrien cracked and admitted that yes, he was wrong, but Marinette knew too!

The class suddenly remembered Marinette.

Marinette, who had been telling them all along that Lila was lying.

Marinette, who they had bullied because they thought she was jealous.

Marinette, who was scolding Tony Stark right now, wait what?

Sure enough, the bluenette was reprimanding the billionaire, who's head was hanging low like a kicked puppy, with Natasha smirking in the corner.

'I told you to come after school! There's still 15 minutes before school ends, Uncle Tony, you couldn't wait another 20 minutes?'

He hung his head and Steve snickered, until Marinette turned to him.

'Why did you let him come so early? I thought you were the responsible one.' She pinched the bridge of her nose.

The class took advantage of the momentary silence to swarm Marinette, until the Avengers glared at them and they backed away slightly.

'Girl, we're so sorry for believing that liar! Will you forgive us? We'll be best friends again.' Alya looked excited, a gleam in her eye.

'Do you think you can get me an interview with Tony Stark?'

Marinette looked at her in disbelief.

'So you want to be my friend again, just because I'm Tony's goddaughter.' Pepper and Natasha looked furious as well, while Tony eyed his goddaughter's class.

Steve placed a hand on Marinette's shoulder.

'Besides, Marinette already has a best friend.'

Alya spluttered. 'Who?'

A swarm of black and blue flew into the room and crashed into Marinette, causing her to fall back into her seat.

'Peter!' She laughed. 'MJ! Ned! Great to see you guys too!'

Peter smiled gave her a brotherly kiss on the cheek, while MJ gave her a hug and Ned fistbumped her.

'Oh! That reminds me, MJ, I'm done with the design for the dress you wanted! Let me show you!' Mari looked around for her sketchbook before noticing it under Thor's hammer.

Thor, noticing this, moved his hand forwards to pick up the hammer, but his jaw dropped as Marinette easily picked up the hammer with one hand, holding it up while she moved the sketchbook underneath it away before placing it back on the table.

She flipped through the pages of it, not noticing the shocked looks on her classmates and family's faces, and the pale face of Lila. She had become enemies with a girl who could lift Thor's hammer!

Alya, who was still live streaming, looked like a fish, and her hands, which were still raises in the position of recording, trembled.

Marinette let out a small 'aha!' when she found the page she was looking for, and looked up to see her friend's shocked face.

She frowned. 'Do you not like it?'

Adrien, still rather astonished, spluttered out. 'Marinette.. you just lifted Thor's hanmer!'

At the sound of his name, the god snapped out of his stupor, and lifting his hammer, he pointed at the bluenette. 'She is worthy! I must take her to Asgard with me!'

Marinette cocked her head. 'It's just a hammer and it wasn't even that heavy. Now you big babies, let's go back to New York!'

She grabbed MJ's hand before picking up her bag and running out, she and MJ excitedly chattering about the dress, Marinette having not understood the implications of lifting Thor's hammer, and MJ, who had seen weirder things in her life.

The Avengers, Ned and Peter blinked before filing out of the room slowly, following the excited bluenette and brunette.A certain blonde god staring at nothing in particular.

'She doesn't know what lifting my hammer means?' He snorted. 'Only you, Marinette. Only you.'

well yeah there isnt exactly a ship for this but i wanted to write something where mari lifts thors hammer bc i dont see enough of those

mj and peter are together, in case u didnt know

kind of lost interest in the end but thats okay lmao so the endings kinda crappy but i think weve established that i cant write for shit

thank u for coming to my tedtalk ok byee

#mlb x mcu #tony is maris godfather #lila salt #alya salt #adrien salt #class salt #in which mari lifts thors hammer bc shes totally worthy #but in which mari also doesnt know the big deal about the hammer #yeet

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fishylife · 3 years ago

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Thoughts on Street Dance of China 4 episode 2

(Aka Fishy is screencapping shows again. I’m screencapping straight from Youtube so sorry for the shoddy cut off screencaps but blame Youtube for having their player bar cover the video. I’ve never understood that because it’s always in the way.)

(Also Episode 2 part 1 is really just “How many times can Han Geng and Henry hug” and the answer is “as many times as they want”)

- Not really sure why Henry chose Anissa and Tuzi for the 2 vs. 2 battle, especially since Anissa was really not confident about it :( I felt really bad for Anissa because she seemed super nervous!!!!! I just hope that she doesn’t lose enthusiasm and that she can continue to enjoy the rest of the competition v.v

- Kelo and Uwa were extremely impressive though. Like, the way they move together is so awesome and cool.

- Among the dancers, Xiao Jie is actually really good at speaking. No wonder he gets interviewed a lot, because he’s able to describe the dancers to us layfolk, but he is also very smiley and entertaining.

- How dare Yixing be this cute 😤😤😤 He’s definitely far more relaxed when he’s just a spectator, that’s for sure. He was laughing at all the jokes and awkward moments and generally so much more animated when just part of the sidelines.

- Henry covering his mouth because he was enjoying Xiaohai’s performance was pretty cute too, not gonna lie.

- I liked San’er from episode 1, so I was cheering for him when he participated in the 3 vs. 3 battle lol. But it was really interesting to hear the conversation when Wang Yibo asked his team why San’er lost the battle. Ye Yin and Liangliang told him that to the judges who are old school, they care less for explosiveness, and more for actual skill, and while San’er’s performance might’ve looked really exciting to the average viewer, that’s not what the old school judges look for.

- So apparently Lil Kev plays a lot of mind games, and we saw that during his battle against Bozi. So he’s like...the Brad Marchand of breaking lol.

- Are...are we gonna comment on this hug between Poppin’C and Xiaohai? Lmao

- What are they being so cute for. (Also don’t @ me but Bunta is....really cute)

- Is it just me, or did we get fewer behind-the-scenes practice clips this time for Han Geng vs. Henry compared to Yixing vs. Yibo? Particularly for the 5 vs. 5 battle.

- Dimple alert. (Sorry I know this is a Han Geng vs. Henry battle but Yixing just looks so freaking cute today)

- Han Geng.....has a really soft and gentle voice (it is simping hours up in the fishy house okay). He speaks particularly quietly during his one-person interviews and his voice is so pleasant to listen to in those clips.

- Henry was talking about how he wanted to do that move with Poppin’C where they’d lean back on each other’s knees and do a wave with their arms. For some reason that move struck me as something that was very Henry like. He just strikes me as the kind of guy who uses a lot of waves and smooth-looking moves in his dances.

- Also lol @ Henry being “non fatigue!” That Ontario French curriculum at work.

- Han Geng and Henry trash talking each other except it just turns into a walk down memory lane about how Han Geng used to take care of Henry.

- Don’t even act surprised, y’all knew I was going to screenshot this.

- Kitty is amused.

- Of course Han Geng would end his routine with a big ol’ hug. What a huge softie.

- I did think that Han Geng and Xiaohai were kind of a rough duo because even if they were in sync, it was hard to tell because of the height difference. Actually, I spent a lot more time focusing on Han Geng, especially towards the end when the rest of the team crowded around them and he was visibly one of the taller ones.

- Henry’s move where he stood on Poppin’C’s thighs was super cool!! His performance was just super fun to watch. I felt like I was having a good time along with them haha.

- Please sir, may I have more hugs?

- I think Han Geng and Xiaohai’s second performance was better because it relied less on being in sync performing the same actions. However, at this point, Poppin’C and Henry have kind of created a specific brand (TM) for themselves, like they are so uniquely charming to watch, so they have firmly won me over Han Geng and Xiaohai’s team.

- Running into a hug? Are you kidding me, Lau Hin-wah???

- More

- Not only is this show cashing in on the Suju/Suju M fans, it is definitely going to pull in new fans with the Han Geng/Henry ship lol.

- Yixing spinning to get up.

- It is just so goddamn natural for them to be so close to each other. Also Han Geng said that his waist is feeling iffy from that popping ^^;; Old man joints

- Lifting Han Geng’s shirt to look at his patch...

- One of the dancers on Han Geng’s team was crying because he made a mistake in the 5 vs. 5 battle and Han Geng is like why are you crying? And gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

- Why is that the ads done by the dancer contestants are so much more entertaining than the professional ads (the ads with mainstream celebrities or with professional actors).

- Henry’s written the pinyin on top of the Chinese names of his team members. Better safe than sorry, you know?

- Lmao how dare they bully Tengzai and Shitou by making them talk XD

- I think that when Henry assigns his team members to certain battles, he is thinking more about the combination of styles, rather than the skill level or synchronization. When he assigned Anissa and Tuzi to the 2 vs. 2 battle, he wanted to try out the East vs. West approach, but the opposing duo of Kelo and Uwa had a lot more history together and were obviously better as a collective unit. When it came to Chen Mo and Waiwai, he was interested in seeing a waacking duo. In theory I think I know what Henry was trying to imagine, but I think it is difficult to have a really intense waacking duo because it’d be hard to synchronize very high speed arm movements. In the end, they went with some moves that were simpler, and I think that’s why they lost out to Tengzai and Shitou. That being said, Henry did win his first battle against Han Geng. I think it’s just the 2 vs 2 battles that are his weakness. The 3 vs. 3 battles are really just individual battles, and the 5 vs. 5 battles are usually made up of dancers who are used to routine group dances as opposed to solo or duo dancers.

- A quick word about the judge Icee. His name in Chinese is 王冰冰. The 冰冰 part is self explanatory enough (冰 means ice), so where does the 王 come from? I read somewhere (I forgot where), but apparently his wife’s surname is 王, so he just took on her surname for his Chinese name. Don’t know how true that is, but I think that’s cute.

- So often I see Bunta and Ibuki having fun and cheering on other people, whether it’s their own team members or dancers on other teams.

- Less than a second flashback of Zitao from a previous season v.v Please producers...let us have a LayTao reunion....please....I beg....

- The 5 vs. 5 battle between Yixing and Henry’s teams was pretty fun to watch, probably because the song was so hype lol.

- The leader battles between Yixing and Henry were really entertaining too though.

- The first piece of music for Henry and Yixing’s leader battles was very very cool. Like, it was just a nice piece of music to listen to, and I think that the kind of music it was gave way to rather creative interpretations. Henry and Han Yu went for a more story-based approach, whereas Yixing and MT Pop focused more on an aesthetic. I preferred Yixing and MT Pop’s performance here.

- Henry and Han Yu also had a pretty solid performance for the second song. As for Mingming and Gumball, they didn’t really perform “together,” because they were both doing their own thing, but their individual performances were interesting. (Also let us acknowledge, nothing gets Yixing turnt like KRUMP XD He was so into the performance haha)

- I was so caught up in the euphoria of Henry/Han Geng that I forgot that Henry and Yixing also had a past history, but I think their friendship probably mostly existed off screen. They were from different groups after all, but we also know how low key Yixing has always been. Even if they were bffs we never would’ve known. I also remember on Back to Field, Yixing said that Henry helped him install and set up his music software, so they probably have some kind of rapport on the music side. But yeah, it just seemed like Yixing was rather formal about it all, calling Henry his 哥哥/前輩. And Henry seemed to look at Yixing like his son lol. He was like oh look at Yixing and how far he’s come, etc.

- Xiao Jie said that he’d battled Hilty & Bosch 14 years ago, which means that Xiao Jie isn’t that young, which may be why he’s so chill lmao. Anyway, Xiao Jie is a very entertaining dancer to watch, and he worked well with Shen Zihao. But of course, HB are formidable themselves as well and their chemistry is just too too good. And they’re just incredibly clean dancers.

- Yibo went over to Han Geng to scope out who he was going to send out for their battle. Xiao Jie tried to warn Han Geng about this but he was too late and Yibo already made his attack. But the entire interaction between Yibo and Han Geng was so lols because it was so strange lmao. Yibo was straight up like “who are you going to send out during the battle?” And Han Geng kept thinking that Yibo was trying to play mind games and use that to gleam other information from him. So Han Geng’s answer ended up being really confusing too, he was like “if that’s what you’ve decided I’ll follow your lead.” The thing about Han Geng is that he is too senior for Yibo to clown on, so he is actually being serious, and Han Geng is trying to keep things light haha. (I think Yibo would totally be his normal gremlin self to Yixing and Henry, but Han Geng is like the next tier up from them both.)

- LMAO Aki-san calling out Tony-san for being older than him XD And Tony Gogo was like what have I ever done to you??? I love Aki-san hahahaha.

- Okay Aki-san vs. Nelson was pretty awesome, but SO WAS BORIS vs. ZYKO???? Holy crap that was sooo much fun to watch because like....human bodies can bend that way? And Boris and Zyko aren’t small guys, so it was insanely awesome to watch.

- Side note, Boris’ Mandarin is pretty good. I looked him up and on his Instagram he says he lives in Shanghai, so it makes sense that his Chinese is good enough for everyday communication. In one part of the show he was instruction Yibo on dancing and like, he was not stuttering at all.

- Wait, Han Geng says that he’s known Yibo for 10 years :o So I just looked him up and it turns out Han Geng has been with Yuehua Entertainment since 2010, so I think the math makes sense. Wow, how time flies. He always such a dad though, he’s always like, the top priority is fun and happiness!!! And honestly, he’s right. Like, what is this show if not just a huge dance showcase more than an actual competition?

- Physically impossible for Han Geng not to hug his didis.

- I love that in a dance party full of dancers, some will still choose to slow dance like this.

- Of course Henry will come and praise his gege. (ft. Nelson in the right lol)

- Yo I love Rochka. He’s one of the chillest guys there.

- The kids’ performance was cute :3 Their little jumpsuits uwu

- Also one of the kids was Shitou’s daughter and it was absolutely hilarious how he still introduces her in the most monotonous and neutral voice and he was like “please give her some encouragement” in the most low energy voice ever XD The b-boying kids were super legit though. Oh and apparently Xiao Jie’s son was one of the dancers too :3 Somebody was like “yo Xiao Jie isn’t that your son?” and he was like “lol yeah.” XD Aren’t they cute?

#thinking out loud #cvariety #street dance of china #screencaps

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centuriantalevevo · 3 years ago

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Draco x Nonbinary Reader

Reader is AMAB, also this contains my headcanons lmao- hella OOC because of that (one of my headcanons, Draco has like.. multiple cousins who are basically on crack /j)

TW: transphobia and enbyphobia, with talk of biphobia. LGBTphobia in general. Misgendering

5th year is.. Hectic.. Especially for a certain kid, Y/N L/N, who had to deal with a literal pink toad this year. Like.. ew? What made it worse, was they seemed to be the only kid in the school, well Slytherin specifically, that was… Different. Not in the normal, cliche sense, where ‘oh Y/N was drop dead gorgeous but abused by everyone around her, she can sing amazing-’, no. This isn’t your typical x Reader story, Y/N was different in the sense of Identity, Gender, specifically Gender Norms. They seemed to be all alone on this feeling, a feeling of discomfort, a feeling of loneliness despite multiple friends being in the room with them at this moment. They were away from earth, where no words can hurt. Where the erasure cannot get to them.

Oh god did the words hurt.

Oh? What words? You’re about to find out.

“No, but did you hear some of the bullshit Umbridge was saying?” He asked, he as in the blonde. Draco. Draco Malfoy. “Especially to my cousin-” “You have a cousin?” Pansy asked, “Welcome to the conversation, first time speaking to me?- Yes, you are hella late to the conversation.” Draco groaned, “Now let me get back to the story” “Continue, which cousin? Darla?- Dominic?-” Blaise asked, “No, Jamie..” He responded quickly, “Oh hold on, what did the toad do to Jamie? I swear, if she hURT THAT PRECIOUS CHILD- Gryffindor or not, I love that girl to death” Blaise said quickly, interrupting Draco.

The blonde sighed deeply, “Blaise.. I love you to death but holy shit let me finnish, alright..” He took a breather, Y/N came back from their little world, queuing into the conversation. “Okay, so Umbridge had the AUDACITY to misgender MY COUSIN OVER AND OVER again! Misgendered her, invalidated her, you know that rule about like.. Something distance from the opposite gender? Yeah she’s forcing Jamie, a literal girl, to distance from girls and not guys-” He halted for a second, “No, my bad.. She’s forcing Jamie to stay away from both because she believe that Jamie is gay.. No, Jamie is a whole straight girl..” Draco ranted, “um.. Sorry to interrupt but… Jamie’s a girl? So how was she invalidated?” Y/N asked, tilting their head, Draco’s eyes moved to them, softening some.

“Oh, you didn’t know? I thought everyone knew. Jamie is trans, she’s a trans girl specifically”

THERE! THERE IT WAS! They weren’t alone now.. There was someone who understood, yet they’d been clueless this whole time.

“I swear I will jack that woman UP” Blaise said lowly and Draco nodded in agreement. “Jamie was CRYING when she came to me, she could barely speak. That poor girl passed out from crying so much. She felt so hurt and the amount of dysphoria she felt was astronomically high.” He sighed, even he wanted to cry. “Like, damn bitch you didn’t have to out yourself as a whole LGBTphobe, you could’ve just stayed quiet and it would cost you nothing yet you chose to mess with a child who is related to the MALFOY family, very smart yes mhmm..” He growled in aggravation “Only merlin knows what she’d do if there was a nonbinary in the school, she’s probably dehumanize them.” He shook his head.

“I’d commit a hate crime if I’m honest” Dominic said, coming from the stairs of the boys dormitory, “The LGBT had their way for a moment because she hadn’t thought about the gays, bisexuals and lesbians. Well.. the gays and lesbians, I don’t think she thinks Bisexuals exist..” He hummed, “She’s enforced the rule so now Darla can’t be near Daphne, luckily I don’t have a boyfriend.. The one time being single is a good thing.” Dominic dramatically cried.

“I will prove bisexuals exist, damn seems like I gotta stay away from ALL of you, sorry” Draco jokes, but was dead serious at the same time. “Until then, if there are nonbinaries in the school, technically they can by-pass the rules, if they present as masculine one day feminine the next. Or just androgynous to confuse the toad.” Draco then added, “I think I have to stay away from you guys too, shit Bisexuals can’t do ANYTHING” Blaise said, pretending to get up and leave.

So.. the students know of the nonbinary gender…

“Although, no surprise, Snape is always the decent one, along with all the other professors, and respect the trans kids pronouns, I’ve gone into his class to give him something during one of his lessons and heard him deliberately calling out kids that misgendered Jamie, it was amazing. And everyone says Snape is a bad teacher.” Draco says, smiling some at the memory. “Ooo! Speaking of which! While in Umbrdige’s class I think.. A few days ago, Snape actually found out about the incident and told her the fuck off for it-” “Damn, snape really said ‘trans rights are human rights’, go off honestly” Dominic interrupted, Draco nodded “The best look honestly, it was pure bliss watching that.” He responded.

Y/N finally managed to form words. “I.. didn’t know there was a trans person in the school.. A fellow trans person..” They said, mumbling the last part quietly, but Draco, Dominic, and Blaise caught it. “Fellow trans person?” Blaise tilted his head, and Draco glanced knowingly, the last part of their sentence was all he needed. They shook their head quickly, “Nothing” They shrugged, “Just nice to know”

It hurt, to be misgendered everyday, to be fair no one knew they were misgendering the kid. But they were so scared of being erased, discriminated against, that they said nothing. Since 1st year, pretty much.

They stretched some, “I'm gonna head to the library, I need to get studying done for Defense Against the Dark Arts, I’ll talk to you guys later.” They smiled, getting up, and grabbing paper, a quill, ink and their books from their dorm. Speed walking out, though it didn’t take long to hear a second pair of footsteps racing after them. Who the-

“Hey, Y/N..” Draco trailed of, catching up to them quickly, “What’s up?” They looked at him from the corner of their eye, “There’s something you never told anyone, isn’t there?” He asked. Y/N averted their eyes and shook their head, “Nn… No..?” They sounded unsure, “Is that a statement, or a question because you don’t know?” He asked. He didn’t wanna be rude, but this was the only way he could truly confirm. If there was someone he had been accidentally misgendering, he wanted to stop that quickly.

“I don’t wanna sound rude, nor put you on the spot.. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but.. What are your pronouns?” he asked, he knew of the nonbinaries, he knew of them.. So it’s fine to tell him, yes? He was basically defending them. They shook their head, not ready yet. “Not ready? That’s fine, I can respect that. You can always tell me, you know that right? I’ll understand. And if not me, then Jamie will.” heHe had sincerity in his voice, Y/N simply nodded. “Noted, thanks Draco..” They smiled and headed to the Library.

The next day, Defense Against the Dark Arts was boring as ever, all because of Umbridge. But she had a new lesson today, not the normal one though. She had been doing her usual bullying of Jamie, Draco had been on edge and heard about it earlier, fairly quickly too. It was like it was her MISSION to be an LGBTphobic idiot with no life. Jamie had mentioned nonbinaries before she dipped from class, arguing about trans in general with the woman, or.. Monster.. Both terms work. So she was now here, in front of kids, spewing out enbyphobic shit, and not planning on stopping.. Y/N was starting to cry, but tried their best to hold it in.

The first person to notice the distress was Draco, Hermione did too, as she sat behind Y/N but could see them jolting some, “These.. Non-binaries, are less than human. You’re either a boy, or a girl. Everyone agrees, yes? If you are born a girl, you’re a girl. If you’re born a boy, you’re a boy. It’s a mental disorder, and you need to be fixed-” “They’re normal.. They just happen to not feel like a guy or a girl..” Y/N said quietly, “Trans folk are human, they aren’t an it.. That’s incredibly hurtful..” They said, it took all their strength to keep their voice from cracking.

“What was that Mr. L/N?” Umbridge smiled that sweet yet disgusting smile, tilting her head.. No, that smile had more dangerous intent behind that. They flinched. “Is there something you would like to say sir?” She asked, stopping in front of them. “Trans people.. Are people.. Just because you’re too ignorant to learn doesn’t.. M..mean you- b-bring someone down b-beca-use of it..” Their voice started to crack, they hiccuped some. “I’m sorry.. Do you think you have more knowledge than me?” She asked, her tone was dangerous. “Y..yes. Clearly, I’ve d-done my research on this, th-there is science tha-at defends us” They said.

“Detention Mr. L/N.. For talking back to a teacher, when I am giving a lesson you are to listen, you’re too caught up in whatever freak show you tra-” Umbridge was cut off, “Don’t you DARE finish that damn sentence, I can promise you I am not against hitting a teacher and a woman at that.” Draco intervened, “There is a lot of science that backs transgenders up, plenty of brain science has shown there is a female and male brain, that’s what backs up trans girls and trans boys, the nonbinary is still being researched, but I can assure you it is much more than a mental illness. Yes, dysphoria is a disorder, it CAN be treated, it can be treated with Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT. It can be treated with transitioning. Some nonbinaries transition, some don’t feel dysphoric enough to transition, but at the end of the day they are still a they, I am still a he, and you are still a she. Just imagine if someone called you ‘he’, or even ‘it’ because they didn’t believe you were actually a girl-” “DETENTION, for BOTH of you.” Umbridge screamed, glaring daggers at both of them.

“I’d take detention over hearing another second of the erasure, you’ve hurt my cousin enough, I’ll gladly take the blow for her. I thought Snape would’ve taught you.” Draco muttered, staring at her, “Both of you, leave. Now.” She said with a huff, Draco grabbed his things, but stopped Y/N when they tried to collect theirs, getting it for them, “Come on.” He said softly, leaving the classroom with the student.

He handed their things to them gently, “I.. Noticed you got really upset..” He said softly, “More like panicked..” They said softly, “It’s easier said than done, but try not to let her get to you. Some people just choose to stay stupid. Sometimes even I hurt from some of the shit she says. Damn the amount of biphobia I have heard from her is ungodly.” He sighed, “You’re bi?” They asked curiously, “Yeah, I thought it was obvious by now. I kinda stopped caring at like.. 2nd year, hell I made out with.. A lot of guys in 2nd and 3rd year, mostly to piss my father off because he’s also LGBTphobic, but also just because it’s fun, and guys are cute.” He said with a small grin, they laughed. “Fair enough, do what you can to piss the oppressors off” They joked, drying their eyes. He turned to head to the Slytherin Common Room, when their voice ringed out again.

“They/Them..” Y/N said, he turned around and tilted his head, “You asked what my pronouns are.. I use they/them. I’m nonbinary” They said softly, and Draco smiled with a nod. “Is there a different name you want to be called?” But they shook their head, “The name I introduced myself as is the name I want to use.” Y/N said, “Alright, come on. Lets go to the common room” Draco said, “I can probably try and get Jamie in there too..” He hummed softly.

Later that day, it was after dinner, and all the Slytherins were in the common room. Aside from Draco and Y/N, “Do you want to tell them? Most of them are accepting, aside from a few exceptions, Pansy surprisingly is accepting.” He said quietly, and thought for a moment.. “Blaise told me a few of the kids got told off because they agreed with us.” He added, “I think.. I was always scared to say anything because I didn’t wanna be made fun of.. I didn’t know there was someone who was trans like me til you talked about what happened with Jamie..” They said, “Well, you’re safe here. Hell, I’m more than 110% sure that our headmaster is gay, so.. Do with what you will on that information” He said with a small lighthearted laugh, Draco kissed their cheek with a small hum “It’ll be okay.”

They’d chosen to tell them, they didn’t want to feel misgendered any longer, Umbridge aside. “Oi, everyone shut your trap for a second, I have something to say- THEO… Thank you” He said, after staring down Theodore for a moment. “Let us reintroduce someone, but properly this time. This is Y/N, they’re nonbinary, use they/them pronouns and the moment I hear any of you say something against that, I will personally come for you, with Jamie in tow.” Draco said, Y/N smiling a little with a small wave. “Could’ve told us sooner, but glad you did, especially after Professor Umbridge, good job” Blaise said.

Even Pansy was accepting, they were all proud that you had the courage to say come out, and also that you said something to Umbridge.

This was fine, everything is fine. Umbridge wasn’t fine, but.. This was nice, being accepted as who you are, by people who you’d think would be the last people to ever accept you. The person you thought would be the last person to accept you ended up being the most accepting, which is ironic when you consider his dad.

This was bad 😭

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #nonbinary reader #TW// transphobia #TW// misgendering #hella OOC because of my own headcanons-#harry potter universe

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stxphxn-strange · 5 years ago

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This is a Soap Opera | A Shrimp Gremlin Villain!Stephen fluff/angst fic

A/n: why is everything i write just fluff/angst? why not right? i tried to make this one kind of funny too lmao, ft. Steve being a little bitch (so this isn’t Steve friendly) and i have nothing against natasha i just needed someone else to be rude and i don’t love how she treats Tony

The Avengers’ Compound (Upstate NY), 4:31pm

Stephen stumbled blearily through the portal, a few disjointed thoughts rattling around in his mind like loose change. He had to find Tony and he was in need of a hug, nothing else was worth a damn in that moment.

Once he saw the genius, he sat and allowed himself to go limp, collapsing into Tony’s arms.

“I’ve taken no less than six (6) fucking Advil today, I can’t,” Stephen complained.

In his tired stupor, he chose to overlook the open hostility of the other Avengers in the room, snuggling closer to Tony. It also didn’t dawn on him, until a few moments later, that almost none of them knew that he and Tony were still together.

So yeah! That was kind of awkward.

Tony hummed, massaging Stephen’s scalp with the lightest grounding pressure. “Have you been drinking any actual water today, or just lots of tea?”

“We’re in the middle of a meeting—”

“Which can wait,” Tony replied. Stephen didn’t know who he was even talking to, he didn’t bother looking up. “Steph?”

Stephen shrugged. “Both. Probably more tea, though.”

“Not surprising. Why don’t you lay down?” Tony suggested, his voice soft. “Your lack of sleep might be catching up to you… sound familiar?”

Some discontented muttering broke out in the room, but Stephen ignored it. Despite the fact that 70% of the people in the room hated him, Stephen still felt loved and warm in Tony’s presence.

Tony ignored the muttering as well. “Don’t fall asleep on me now. Come on, bed.”

Stephen felt Tony gently maneuvering him into a standing position and leading him from the conference room.

“Stark, we’re in the middle of a meeting!” Steve snapped.

Stephen winced at his volume, pressing himself against Tony’s back and hiding his head on his shoulder

“Be quiet Steve. It’s not like this meeting is a big deal, nobody’s even taking minutes,” Tony replied. “I’ll come back, but pardon me for prioritizing my boyfriend’s health over this get together.”

The door to the room remained open as Stephen and Tony walked down the hallway, allowing them to hear Steve ranting about how nobody took his meetings seriously.

“Thor, you’re supposed to be taking minutes!” Steve yelled.

Inside the conference room, Thor shrugged. “But ‘Days of our Lives’ is on.”

“I work with a bunch of idiots. Some more likeable than others,” Tony commented, opening the door to his room.

Okay, it was more like his own wing of the building. Why shouldn’t it be? Tony built it and owned it, and the Avengers were famously bad for his work-life balance. Stephen was grateful that he could sleep in peace, especially once Tony blocked entry into the wing. He laid on Tony’s bed, the Cloak wrapping around him like a blanket as he disappeared in a pile of pillows.

Tony put a glass of water on the nightstand and sat beside Stephen.

“Sorry for bursting in. Now they know,” Stephen said. “If they didn’t before, I mean.”

“I care more about you,” Tony replied softly. “I also don’t give what most of them think. Their responses won’t matter much, the people who really care us and love us are supportive and happy for us.”

Stephen leaned back further into the pillows on the bed. “I’m lucky to have you, you know?”

Tony smirked. “Yeah, you are.”

“Tony!” Stephen gave him an affectionate push.

“I’m kidding. I love you,” Tony replied, kissing the crown of Stephen’s head. “You know you talk about shrimp in your sleep, right?”

“It’s good luck,” Stephen said with a yawn. “I love you too. I wish you could stay.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Tony promised. “Riposati, amore.”

Stephen nodded. “FRIDAY, how about some Food Network as background noise?”

FRIDAY turned on the TV, adding a pleasant, “It’s nice to see you today, Sire Shrimp.”

Tony rolled his eyes at the nickname, giving Stephen one last fond look before closing the door and heading back to the meeting. He wasn’t surprised to see the whole team talking about him, a stern look on Steve’s face. Thor, who was still watching “Days of our Lives,” was now consequently weeping with his head on Bruce’s shoulder.

So yeah, this meeting really wasn’t a big deal.

“Were you going to TELL us that you’re a no good, double crossing traitor?!” Steve snapped.

“Get out of my face,” Tony replied, pushing past him and returning to his seat between Rhodey and Thor. “What I do after hours is none of your business, and it’s not up to you to tell me who I am and am not allowed to date. Stephen and I never broke up after he left the team, I never promised we would! Furthermore I really love him and it’s in my best interest and great for my happiness to continue our relationship. Does anyone have questions?”

Natasha raised her hand. “Did you think we didn’t notice you were less pleasant to us? Strange makes you unpleasant.”

“Stephen treats me like I’m more than just an ATM.” Tony replied.

“How is Tony giving our secrets to some shrimp-obsessed VILLAIN permissible?!” Steve snapped, speaking to the room at large.

“What secrets? You mean that there are more things you haven’t told me? You don’t want Stephen knowing that you bully and belittle me whenever you feel like it?” Tony replied.

Steve was silent, angrily looking between Tony and the team. “Does anyone else see what’s wrong with this?”

Clint, Scott, and Natasha raised their hands.

“I don’t think we need to vote to agree that Stark’s conduct calls for immediate removal from this team,” Steve continued.

“You need me more than I need you,” Tony said. He was calm, despite the fact that his fists were shaking. “After all, who’s going to give you free stuff at your beck and call if you let me go? Where are you going to get all of your shiny suits and arrows?”

“As the leader of this team, I move to kick Tony out,” Steve declared.

“What is this, a playground clique? Who put you in charge?” Rhodey muttered, loud enough that only Tony could hear. To the group, he said: “We have to have a vote to bench anyone, as stated in the new Accords. And given that those Accords state that you are NOT the leader of this team, you absolutely cannot bench Tony. I say that as his best friend and as someone who ranks higher than you and earned it. I move to dismiss this meeting.”

“Oh thank god,” Tony quipped.

“But—”

“Enough. We’re done here.”

Tony was out of his seat and down the hall before anyone could say another word.

++++

5:49pm

Stephen was a light sleeper, always had been, and woke up the minute he felt Tony’s presence in the room. Shelving the dream he was having about eating shrimp on the beach, Stephen reached out for Tony and pulled him close.

“You’re shivering,” Stephen whispered, shifting so that he and Tony were both under the Cloak. “What’s wrong?”

“The rest of the meeting was just a shitshow, that’s all. It’s not important right now. How are you feeling?” Tony asked.

“A little better. I want to avoid taking any more Advil if I can, so I’ve just been trying to rest. I know I’ve fallen asleep a few times,” Stephen replied, hugging Tony closer and playing with his hair. “Now it’s your turn to rest. I’m okay, I promise, and I don’t need or want anything from you right now. I just want you.”

Tony sighed, melting into Stephen’s hug. He didn’t bother to hide the fact that he was upset, pressing his head against Stephen’s chest as he sought warmth and love.

“Hey,” Stephen began. “Let your shoulders drop, okay? It’s just us now, you can close your eyes.”

Stephen’s voice was effortlessly soothing, and Tony followed his instructions without hesitation.

“How was your day?” Tony asked, his voice already getting gravelly with tiredness.

Stephen smiled and kissed him softly. “It was fine. I tripped going down the stairs and dropped a plate, and Wong had to bribe me to take a break when I got to my sixth hour of studying.”

“No wonder your head hurts,” Tony remarked, snuggling closer to Stephen. “What did he bribe you with?”

“Coconut shrimp and talk show reruns,” Stephen admitted.

“Oh of course, because the way to a man’s heart is through reality television,” Tony said.

“The way to this man’s heart is being Tony Stark,” Stephen replied.

Tony blushed as red as a strawberry, tucking his head under the cloak. “Stop that.”

“I’m just saying!” Stephen bantered.

“How dare you flirt with me while we both have headaches!” Tony snickered. “Smooth bastard.”

Tags: @stark-strange-love @daisypoisonpen @ayyy-its-an-idiot @kiwidino @leoachilles @chocopiggy

#tony stark #stephen strange #shrimp gremlin villain!stephen #ironstrange #james rhodey rhodes #not steve rogers friendly #not team cap friendly #not entirely black widow friendly #shrimp gremlin fic #barbequeue shrimp

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cravingmarvel · 5 years ago

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When We Were Young - Part Three

Pairing: Bucky Barnes AU x Fem!Reader, Steve Rogers AU x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Reader being confused ab feelings but what’s new,

Summary: Friends since they can remember and falling in love like they’re meant to. But sometimes life just isn’t what you expected. People making decisions, mistakes and saying things they shouldn’t when they’re young. When it comes to love, someone always gets hurt. Always.

A/N: Wow ok, first of all, let me just say a huge massive thank you to Mun ( @buckisthatyou ) and Ari ( @shurisneakers ) for giving me advice, criticism and wise words I needed. Without these two, this chapter wouldn’t exist now and I appreciate their opinion so so much! 🥺 Thank you all for waiting for this one I know it’s a little overdue but I have a pretty clear plan on where I want to take this series! This is part three of @spideywhiteys 1k writing celebration STILL! lmao sorry I’m dragging this out so much, love u!

As always, please reblog and comment! Enjoy!

Masterlist // Bucky Barnes Masterlist

When We Were Young – Part Three

I swallowed the painkiller, hoping for the pounding headache to be gone faster. Although I haven’t had anything to drink at the engagement party, Steve and I drowned our heads with multiple glasses of whiskey as the hours went on and now, I pay the price for it.

Perhaps the fact that what I had said to Bucky didn’t grand me a lot of seep adds to the hammering in my head. After getting to my hotel, my night was spend tossing and turning, tangling the sheets with my limbs, hoping that a change of position would pull me to sleep faster. Now that morning has arrived, I feel the lack of sleep mangling with my hangover, mixing in my head to form the worst headache I’ve ever experienced.

I laid back in the bed, covering my body with the soft duvet, ready to take this day as an opportunity to sleep and rest my body, before I have to catch my flight first thing in the morning.

My phone started ringing on the nightstand and I groaned, unplugging my phone from the charger and looking at the caller ID: unknown. I picked up waiting for the person on the other end to start talking.

“Y/n? This is Bucky.”

I sat up immediately, shocked to hear his voice. I knew it was him the moment he said my name. “Hey.”

“I’d like to invite you for coffee and lunch if you’d like. Just wanted to talk, y’know?”

Images of last night flashed through my head and it seemed no secret to me what he wanted to talk about. I looked out of the window to my right contemplating whether it would be a good idea to sit down with him, alone. The sun peaked through the spaces between the buildings as I had laid in bed lazily. It wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get out of this room and walk through the city, maybe even meet with Bucky.

“Sure, why not.” I replied.

“Great, uh, there’s a café called ‘bloom’ do you know it, or should I send you the location?”

“No, I can manage.”

“Great, great. So, see you there? In an hour?” Bucky questioned and I noticed the distraction in his voice and the noises in the back, he must be busy.

“Great, see you.” Not wanting to keep him occupied longer we said goodbye and I hung up, sitting in bed for a moment before it dawned on me. I’m going to lunch with Bucky, the man I had just yesterday confessed my love to.

Without wasting any time, I got ready quickly, putting on a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, tugging it in. I opted for a green jacket and matching coloured sneakers, ready to leave.

Pulling up the place Bucky had told me about on google maps, I grabbed my bag and walked down the many streets the gps guided me through. I had hoped he would’ve forgotten about last night and the disaster that occurred, but I hoped wrong. My nerves were growing the closer I got, and I couldn’t ignore my hands shaking, the sweat collecting on my palms.

I saw the café in the distance, scrambling up the little confidence I have and taking a deep breath in before I opened the glass door.

The small place Bucky chose was adorable, walls painted pastel pink, flowers hanging from the ceiling with strings of lightbulb shaped fairy lights. Not a place I would’ve pictured him in back in the day. I’m sure young Bucky would have make fun of the Victorian windows or the uniforms of the waiters. He wouldn’t be able to shut his mouth about it for at least a day.

I slowly looked around the room, scanning the many faces to recognize one of them as his and as I walked in further, anxiously playing with the strap of my handbag, I finally spotted him further into the room and he jumped up from his seat by the wall, a small smile gracing his lips as soon as he locked eyes with me.

All the confidence I gathered outside evaporated into thin air immediately as I reached him, unsure of what to do now.

I smiled back at him as he leaned forward to pull me into a hug. The embrace lasted seconds. If he held me this close – too close – any longer I would have moulded into his body, became one with his fingers on my back, tight muscles on his chest melted together as one. But, seconds later as we parted, I felt the air flow steadily back into my lungs.

As I sat down the weight of the moment rested on my shoulders. I haven’t sat down with Bucky like this in a long, long time, but although all these years stood between today and the last time I had seen him did nothing to the familiarity of the moment.

“What would you like, it’s on me.” He spoke as a waiter approached us and I looked at the menu briefly, catching my attention back.

“Welcome to bloom, what can I get for you?” The waiter smiled down at us. It has been a while since I had eaten anywhere else outside of my own café, the pressure of being ungodly kind a little odd from a costumer perspective.

“I’ll take a cappuccino and a grilled cheese on toast, please.” I said to him as he wrote my order down. Bucky gave the man his order, an Americano and a salad, and the waiter walked away to another table.

“I remember you eating those at my house all the time.” Bucky laughed. “Always wondered when you would get sick of them.”

“I don’t think I ever will, and your mom always made it impossible to refuse her famous grilled cheese. Can’t imagine anyone not loving your moms cooking.”

“Well, Nat rather eats at restaurants so.” Bucky shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “Anyway.”

The awkward atmosphere carried on into an awkward silence on both parts. Bucky wiping his hands on his jeans every once in a while, looking around like he’s just as uncomfortable as me.

“So, how have you been? Steve told me you own his mom’s café now.” Bucky asked, breaking through the silence floating between us.

I nodded as our waiter came over with our order, putting our coffee and food down, smiling politely. “Thanks.” I said in an almost whisper, smiling back at him before he disappeared as quickly as he got here. “Yeah, I knew it was the right thing to do. I love that place and I have an employee, Jenna. She’s great.”

Bucky flashed me another smile. “That’s great.”

“So, how’s Hydra?” I asked as I took a bite of my toast.

“Good, good. Been… really stressful, y’know, with the wedding and all. Sorry.” A smile that didn’t reach his eyes, followed by a laugh that sounded more like a giggle. Still without feelings, but reassuring, nonetheless.

“No, it’s fine.” A heat rose to my cheeks that I tried to hide by taking a sip from my coffee hiding behind the cup. “I wanted to talk to you about what I said last night. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Y/n, it’s fine.”

“No, that- that was when we were young. Back then.”

Bucky let his head hang, looking down to his lap. “Oh, ok yeah. I wanted to apologize anyway for what happened. I didn’t know how I felt towards you. We’ve been friends for so long that I thought it was the right thing to feel, then I met Nat.” Bucky looked back up at me and I wished he would just drop it already. “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“It’s fine.” I said a little too harsh, forcing a smile.

The waiter came back to our table once again, thankfully. “Is everything alright here?”

“Sure, yeah. Tastes great.” I said to him truthfully. The food and even the coffee did taste great, but it did make me think about my café. Obviously, nothing compares to Mrs. Rogers original coffee blend.

“Y/n, I wanted to ask.” Bucky pulled something from his jacket and laid it on the table between us. “It’s an invitation to the wedding. I really want you to come.”

“Bucky, I-“

“I’ll pay for the hotel and everything else you desire. I just need my best friend there with me.”

Best friend. At this moment I didn’t feel like his best friend, sure back then I was. Back then we would have never been this awkward, but now with all this time between us I wouldn’t call this a friendship even. A part of me wanted to decline, to get up and walk out, but another part told me to accept.

Sure, we’re not the best of friends, but we were a long time ago. I took the grey envelope, staring at it. “Ok, I’ll come, but you don’t have to pay for anything.” I looked up and for the first time since I sat down, Bucky showed a genuine bright smile.

We ate our food and surprisingly, Bucky was the one reminiscing on the old days. He recalled the day we met for the first time, saving me from those bullies. “If I hadn’t been there to save you, Y/n, you would have been screwed!”

“Oh, as if!” I looked at Bucky who raised his eyebrows at me. “Alright yeah.” Rolling my eyes at him in response, I took another sip of my coffee.

We continued to laugh at the time he saw that I had gown boobs over the winter, how poor Bucky was so flustered he couldn’t even say ‘boobs’ without stuttering over every letter. We laughed so hard, we had to cover our mouths because of all the stares from the people around us.

I noticed the stares from a few people not at our loudness but at the silver reflecting the sun rays. It was no doubt that they were staring at his left arm. It’s not like we’re kids anymore, being fascinated by the metal prosthetic.

“How’s the arm?” I asked, looking at the exposed hand.

“It’s doing alright, Stark’s thinking about replacing this one though. Something a little less reflecting.” We erupted in laughter as Bucky turned his hand to cast a blinding reflection at the ceiling. “That and Nat is a little freaked out by it.”

“Why?” I knitted my eyebrows together.

“Well, she just wants something less attention grabbing.” Bucky looked into my eyes and without him having to say it, I knew how much it actually hurt him, despite brushing it off as a joke. He was always bad at playing up a façade, his eyes giving away everything that needed to be said, calling him out almost. It was his weakness. Not the arm, but his eyes. Luckily for him, only a few figured this out, the language his deep blue eyes spoke.

We steered the conversation back to something more cheerful, catching up on our very different experiences of uni. Steve has already filled him in on all the shenanigans we got up to. It was this, the past, that had awoken a lightness from a seemingly decade long sleep, to rise between us. Rivalling the sun, begging for a moment in the spotlight.

It must’ve been around noon as we finished our food and coffee. Bucky asked me if I wanted something else, but I knew that I had to leave, to end this right here. But a desire for him to ask again, to keep me in his company withheld my answer.

I needed to call Jenna, I said to him and he nodded in response. We stood outside the café saying our goodbyes before parting ways.

I walked down the street, pulling my phone out of my handbag, dialling Jenna’s number

The sun set behind the buildings of London, declaring the end of another day and another day done for Y/n. The calm pace of the city didn’t match that of the growing crowd in Captain’s Coffee Cup. Hectic customers running in ordering coffee to go and leaving just as quickly with their paper cups in hand, dispersing into the streets.

For Y/n it meant that she had to be quick on her feet, almost transporting to different places in an alarming pace. She had no explanation on hand as to why it was so busy that day, a weekday, but morning to evening busy all the same. It’s indeed worse on the weekend and every Saturday she woke with her back and knees already screaming in pain.

The constant switching between taking orders, making them and bringing the ones to the table that were enjoying their coffee in the café. Y/n could not decide if her feet hurt more than her back or vice versa. Being the only waitress and barista made for an interesting challenge and she had no idea what losing Steve as a partner would mean.

But as the day finally came to an end, she thanked the sun for going down after all. Y/n was busy cleaning tables, putting up chairs, cleaning the floors and the bar on top of all the things she needed to do at the end of another shift. After three hours of resetting the events that occurred at the café, she was glad to take her apron off.

A tiny detail Y/n almost always forgot was the paperwork, so with a huff and a groan, she took herself to the back and into the office to do the managing side of the job that she hated.

And upon almost falling asleep on the desk, an idea struck her, hiring someone would take away half the work Steve did. Someone who would help her out without doing the paperwork.

So, she got right to work and wrote down on paper an ad for the position.

Y/n hung the ad on the door of the café in hopes that someone walking down the streets would see it and apply, that even just one applicant would help her out.

But that’s not what happened. Seemingly a dozen applications were either handed to her personally or ended up in her mailbox. Y/n had a hard time believing that so many would consider working at the café, but she was indeed grateful.

After work she piled through the applications and that’s when it dawned on her; she had no idea who or what qualifications she was looking for. Y/n has never been a leader, someone to tell other people what to do. The challenge of finding people to work for her ended up being quite a difficult task, but she took in on, nonetheless.

Y/n narrowed it down to ten applicants, inviting them to an interview, day after day a new person to question and day after day another one eliminated. Y/n was sure to give up at this point, the process taking more time than expected, but that day Jenna walked in, second to last applicant to be interviewed.

Y/n saw it as she sat down with Jenna that she was send from god herself. Experience in both being a waitress and a barista, but the best part was, she knew how to manage a café and that was a quality none of the other applicants had.

Beside her qualifications, she was sunshine personified. Bright and motivating, both headstrong and polite. Y/n couldn’t have wished for anyone better than Jenna and the qualifications translated from paper better than expected.

Soon Y/n and Jenna became close friends after working four months together. It was more a partnership than Jenna ever being an employee. She brought something to the table that Y/n wanted to learn from and quickly realized that instead of bossing her around, she could open her ears and listen to what she suggests, open her eyes and watch her work to learn more.

Because after all, Jenna was the one with more experience and Y/n appreciated the bond that formed, hanging out after work sometimes a bottle of alcohol between them as they sat on the counter talking for hours on end.

It was one of those nights, a bottle of rather expensive liquor, a luxury they could afford and talking about university. Jenna telling her about the shenanigans she had done in her days, but she always knew she wanted to work at a café, despite the reputation. Jenna confessed to her, her wish of having a café of her own and Y/n’s heart bloomed.

It was getting late and Y/n offered to call a cab for Jenna, but she declined.

“My girlfriend is picking me up.” She said as she put her coat on, throwing her purse over her shoulder as the little bell over the door chimed.

A petite woman walked in, confidence in her step. Her hair free laying atop her shoulders, her skin a dark tone of ebony just like Jenna’s. She smiled as Jenna walked towards her, pulling her into a tight hug, followed by a kiss.

“Y/n, this is my girlfriend, Dina.” Jenna said turning, keeping her hand on Dina’s back.

Y/n was slightly confused but still shook her hand introducing herself. It wasn’t the shock that Jenna was gay, it was that she had never mention Dina. Y/n was never one to judge, that much she learned from life. It was the fact that Y/n worried Jenna couldn’t confine in her about her relationship, but it wasn’t that, Jenna said to her later, she needed confirmation that she could trust Y/n completely.

Y/n went home that night thinking about the trip to New York she would endure in a month time. If only she had a love like Jenna and Dina, the happiness they radiated was something Y/n has never experienced. The only thing she could compare to that kind of love was the love she had for the café.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” Jenna spoke on the other end and I was so glad to hear her voice again.

“Hey, sorry didn’t think about time zones.” I laughed as I remembered that it must be around eight pm in London, afraid to be intruding her night time routine.

“No problem I’m just in the bath. So, what’s going on in New York?”

“Well, I went to the engagement party and it didn’t go all too well.” I sighed into the phone, slowly strolling along the buildings beside me. The was no need to pretend I had called for another reason in the first place.

“Oh god, what happened? What did he do?”

“No, it’s more something I did.” I bit my lip, knowing full well she wouldn’t be too impressed with my confession or the reason why I called her. Jenna was silent waiting for me to go on. “Well, I kinda told him that I loved him, back then of course I’m not that big of an idiot.”

“Oh, shit.” She blurted out.

“Yeah, and now he asked me to stay here to attend the wedding as well.” My feet carried me along the sidewalk without me thinking about it. The headache forming back again in my brain made the sun shining between the concrete skyscrapers a curse.

“What are you going to do?” Her voice sounding more concerned on the other end.

“I told him I’ll attend the wedding, but if you need me at the café I’ll catch the next flight-“

“No.” Jenna said, interrupting me through my stutter of words and excuses. I stopped walking, giving her my full attention. “It’s not that, I’m just worried about you digging yourself a deeper hole.”

“What do you mean?”

Jenna exhaled. “Every time you talked about Bucky the feelings you had for him didn’t seem to be in the past. I’m worried you’re doing him a favour that will break your heart.”

I felt bad, dragging her into my life like this, having her worry about my life when she had her own to live. I picked up my pace again, dragging my feet along the sidewalk. “But maybe this is a good way for me to end this chapter. To move on with my life because frankly, Bucky is in love with Natasha and I can’t just run away pretending that she never happened.”

“Maybe, but don’t get too involved. Go to the wedding, have fun and then go back to your life. If you want I could come to New York and ask Dina to-“

It was my time to interrupt her. “No, I can’t ask that of Dina.” I shook my head.

“Ok, fine, but Dina is helping me out at the café anyway, been stressful alone, don’t know how you managed to do it so long.” Jenna chuckled and I heard the admiration in her voice, filling my chest with pride.

“Yeah, me neither, but let me pay her for her work, I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” I knew Dina would refuse, but I just couldn’t let her work for nothing. That woman has more energy that Jenna and I combined, and her kindness shouldn’t be just swept under the rug.

“Alright, take care of yourself, Y/n. Enjoy New York, you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Jenna. Tell Dina ‘hi’ from me and ‘thank you’.”

“Will do, bye.”

I stuffed my phone back into my purse, seeing Steve’s apartment building to my right. I was about to ring the doorbell as a man stepped out of the building, letting me in and I walked up the few flights of stairs to his apartment. The closer I got to his door, the clearer the loud voices became.

I got to the door and the voices got louder, my brows furrowed together as I heard a woman shouting just as loud as the other, I recognized instantly as Steve. Unsure of what to do, I stood opposite the door, waiting for an idea to strike me, but I just didn’t know what to do.

The door flew open and a blonde woman I recognize from the photo Steve sent me all these years ago as Sharon walked out of the apartment, her head burning red with anger and Steve behind her in the living room. She stormed down the stairs without so much so as a glance towards me.

I walked in carefully, a little scared. “Hey, Steve.” I said quietly to catch his attention and announce my arrival, but not startle him.

Steve turned around to me. “Y/n.” His tone undefining, unfeeling.

I couldn’t help thinking that coming over unannounced wasn’t the best idea I had. Steve walked around the couch, sitting down, letting his head fall back. He looked defeated, hair messily framing his face, brows furrowed together.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?” I started to play with the zipper of my jacket out of uncomfortableness.

“No, I don’t.” Steve said with a deep exhale, not as angry anymore, his face and body relaxing.

An awful silence filled the room, me standing in the middle of it, looking around the room I was in just last night, drinking away my problems. The sun started to slowly creep behind the buildings marking the end of another day.

Today seems to be full of awkward silence.

“God, I’m sorry, do you want something to drink?” Steve said suddenly, making me jump. He got up from the couch walking over to the kitchen.

I followed him, putting my bag on the couch on the way. “Steve, it’s ok. I can get something myself.” I smiled up at him, trying to dissolve some of the awkwardness.

He sat down on one of the chairs at the breakfast bar and I opened the fridge taking a carton of juice out. With my back turned to him I stared pouring the juice in a glass I found in one of the cupboards. “Bucky invited me to the wedding, guess I’ll be staying for a little longer.”

I put the carton back into the fridge and turned to Steve, watching as his eyebrows shot up. “Are you really going? And what about the café?”

“First of all, yes and second of all, Jenna and her girlfriend Gina are taking care of the café.” Steve tilted his head in confusion and I almost forgot that he didn’t know about them. “Jenna’s my employee and Dina’s her girlfriend, been a huge help since we’re kinda popular around London.” I explained to him with pride, my chin tilting up.

“I’m really happy to hear that. And if you need a date for that wedding, I’ll sacrifice myself.”

We both laughed and I couldn’t believe how many years were between us. The amount of time that passed without hearing from another. The things he didn’t know about me nor the café. The popularity it gained over that period of time. But what hurt me the most was the fact that I didn’t know a lot about him, what he had been through.

“Aren’t you the best man?” I questioned.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t bring a date.”

I turned my head away from Steve. It’s been swept under the rug that we had a slight romance in the past but that seemed to be where it belongs, the past. My mind wandered off to the possibilities of being his date for the wedding. It would make me appear less lonely, having someone by my side that I’ve known for years. It would hopefully distract me a little from the event at hand.

I looked back to Steve, watching me with curious eyes. My lips curled up to a smile I couldn’t hold in. “Sure, why not?”

Steve walked around the breakfast bar, wrapping his arms around me. I wanted to ask, to clarify the intention behind the question. The words laying on my tough, breath and tones, but they couldn’t find their way out.

I’ve heard of this before. A book, a poem, what they call love, but in my reality, this translates to heartache.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfic #buckybarnes #steve x reader #steve x you #Sebastian Stan #sebastian au #sebastian stan fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #Bucky angst #nimiwrites #when we were young

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years ago

Text

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ [Thanksgiving Special! 🦃]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 4,439

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〈“Oh, oh, oh, it’s Thanksgiving, we’re gonna have a good time. With the turkey ey! and mashed potatoes ey!. We are gonna have a good time. It’s Thanksgiving~” Nicole Westbrook, “It’s Thanksgiving”〉

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Oh look, the Author’s Note is at the top this time. I bet you’re thinking, ‘Well shit, this can’t be good!’ And you’d be right 😂 Okay so, I wanted to write a special for Thanksgiving right and I had these plans to make it this shit fest of just absolute crack and humor right. WELL if you know anything about me you know that I go back to angst by default. Like, you know how when you play online games, sometimes your settings just reset on their own and then you gotta go and turn off the music and turn the subtitles back on and why the fuck is PVP ticked on?? That’s basically me okay. I auto default back to angst unless I changed the settings again lmfao

So, I started this off, full fucking intent on being funny right. Yeah, no. Runaway while you fucking can. It got so fucking heavy in the middle and it’s just… I’m sorry bro. That’s all I can say. It might make you cry? I mean, I’m a sensitive lil bitch and I cried while I wrote it sooo~ But fear not! I gave it a cheerful, happy and somewhat enlightening/inspiring ending?? At least I think so anyway… Also, you don’t have to celebrate Thanksgiving to enjoy this! Oh yeah, and don’t @ me about facts, I literally used Wikipedia because I’m an uncultured fuck that knows nothing about Thanksgiving even though I live in the USA lmao Don’t fucking @ me about the song I chose either 😂 I ain’t adding that shit to the playlist tho.

So yeah! Read this shit, cry into your snuggie or your dog that looks like a mop and then go enjoy some turkey or hug your mum. Don’t forget to reblog this chapter because I’m a hoe for them reblogs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☔ Rain

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The door to class 1-A slammed open with so much force, it bounced off the wall and came back, stopped only by a gloved hand. An obnoxiously loud voice filled the room, “Are you ready, kids?!”

“Aye aye, captain!” I jumped up, automatically answering only to curse myself a moment later when he smirked. “Bitch, this ain’t Spongebob!!”

He clicked his tongue and gave me double finger guns. “But you responded!”

I slumped into my seat in frustration.

Present Mic approached the board, picking up a piece of bright orange chalk before writing a word on the board in English: Thanksgiving. He slapped his palm under the word, making several pieces of chalk fall to the floor. “We’re going to be talking about the meaning of Thanksgiving in Western Countries, most notably in the United States!”

“Sir!” Iida’s hand shot into the air.

“Thanks for calling, listener! What is your request?!”

Iida stood tall. “With all due respect, sir, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Japan, we celebrate National Labor Day.”

“You’re correct… almost! Many people consider National Labor Day to be Japan’s Thanksgiving! Plus, I’m your English teacher, so why not take this time to talk about a wonderful holiday where you get to stuff your face with as much food as you can handle without being looked at like a weirdo?!”

“It doesn’t matter what you do,” I commented blankly. “People will always think you’re a weirdo, cockatiel.”

“Hey, aren’t you American, Winchester?” Kaminari questioned, tilting his head back to look at me.

I shrugged. “My mom was American, but I was born in Japan. I mean, Gramps taught me English and we had a small dinner every Thanksgiving to ‘celebrate my heritage’ or some shit, but I don’t really know the details about the holiday.”

“Which is what I’m here for!” He slapped the board again, giving up a grin. “Now pay close attention, listeners! In America, Thanksgiving occurs on the fourth Thursday of November every year! In Western Countries, this holiday is known to be the moment to thank the Native American people for helping European pilgrims to survive their first winter in the United States! Typically, this is a day when families come together from across the country to be with their loved ones and feast!”

I hummed. “Gramps used to always make me watch these American pageants where grade-schoolers put on plays reenacting the interaction between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. I remember one year, this kid was dressed in a fucking black trash bag stuffed with newspaper.”

“Plays are very popular in schools all across the states!” He nodded his head. “Can anyone tell me what year that Thanksgiving became a federal holiday in the USA?” He cupped his ear, but the only thing he got in response was a cricket that had snuck into the room a week ago to avoid the approaching chill settling over Japan. That fucker is really good at hide-n-seek because we still can’t find him and he’s at the back of the room so it’s like he’s in my fucking ear. “That’s right, the year is 1863! Before that, it was celebrated off and on since 1789 but the third president, Thomas Jefferson, just wasn’t feeling the holiday so he put a stop to it!”

“Seems suspect,” I responded.

“Now, who can tell me about the First Thanksgiving?!”

Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp.

My eye twitched and I turned in my seat, eyes scanning the back wall. Where the fuck is that goddamn cricket?! I swear to Deadpool I’m gonna roast that bitch when I finally fucking find it.

“Right again, my impressionable listeners! The First Thanksgiving was created by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in October 1621! The feast lasted a total of three days and, according to one attendee named Edward Winslow, there were one-hundred-forty-three rockin’ attendees – ninety Native Americans and fifty-three Pilgrims!” He continued to drone on about the history of Thanksgiving in the states, listing off several different dates and names I couldn’t be bothered to remember.

I mean, History is cool, I guess, but when am I ever gonna need to know this stuff to function as a member of today’s society? Especially here in Japan, where American norms aren’t focused on at all? Plus, that fucking cricket is all I can think about!

“By the way, there will be a test on this and if you fail, you get remedial lessons with me, your chart-topping host!!”

Oh, fuck me.

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I stepped out into the chilly night, my breath coming in puffs of smoke as I walked. Aizawa didn’t like us to leave the dorms after dark, but there was no specific rule about it as long as we stayed on campus. It was two in the morning, and I had been tossing and turning in my bed since I got there. It hadn’t bothered me at first when Mic brought up Thanksgiving, but now that it was just a couple days away, I’m starting to get restless.

This would be my first Thanksgiving without Gramps…

I fell onto the icy cold stone bench, letting my head fall back to stare up at the navy sky. It looked like ribbons of velvet, bright stars dotting across it like sequins caught under the light. The moon was a perfect crescent.

“Jen?”

I glanced over, seeing Zuku with his arms wrapped tight around his body. Even with the thick sweater he wore, it was obvious he was cold. I patted the bench beside me and he sat down, letting me throw my arms around his body. I focused on my quirk, raising my body temperature to warm him up. “Why are you awake?”

“I got up to use the bathroom and spotted you out the window.” He frowned up at me, his brow furrowed. “You look so… sad. What’s wrong?”

My grip tightened around him and I smiled sadly. “I guess I am a bit sad… This is my first Thanksgiving without Gramps, so… it kinda hurts, you know?”

“Oh, I see… I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine. Just something you gotta deal with, ya know? It’s life, and life is full of unfairness.”

“Will you… tell me about it?” He asked softly, playing with his fingers in his lap. “About what the two of you did each year? If it’s not too painful, I mean…”

“I’d love to,” I ruffled his hair and closed my eyes. “Let’s see – Gramps thought it was important for us to celebrate Thanksgiving because my mother was American. ‘It’s part of who you are, kitten, so we must celebrate!’ is what he’d always tell me. He spent the first five years learning everything he could about the holiday because he wanted it to be authentic and at age five, he started hosting a small feast for the two of us each year.”

“It sounds like he loved you a lot.”

“Yeah… Yeah, he did. We were each other’s world, the only two people we had in life. It was just us against the world!” I chuckled, but it held no humor. “Gramps was a hell of a good chef. He always used to attribute that to the fact that he worked for near six years in a restaurant with his father before the man died and the place had to be sold. Cooking reminded him of a simpler time, so he took pride in everything he cooked. Now that I think about it… that was the first time I met Skye and Heather.”

“Friends of yours?”

“Nah, they made my life hell growing up.” I waved my hand. “I don’t think they remembered this, but I met them once when I was seven. They lived a couple blocks down from us and Gramps had met them on several of his midday walks. Skye was half-Japanese on her mother’s side, while her dad was American and Heather was full American but her family moved to Japan just a year or two previously. Since Gramps wanted to make Thanksgiving as authentic as possible, he went to them for advice. Sky’s father had asked his grandma back home to send a few of her recipes for the holiday and that’s when I met Skye for the first time. He stopped by on his way to work to drop them off and she was with him, but she took one look at me and turned her nose up.”

“You were bullied?” He asked softly, lowering his head. “I never would have thought that.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t start until I was twelve.” I chuckled. “Anyway, we didn’t have much money to work with, but he saved up with every paycheck for months in advance. Just small amounts from each check and then the week before Thanksgiving, he’d take the money he saved and go all out, buying a Turkey, potatoes, pumpkin pie, the works. Some of the shit he couldn’t even get in our town, he had to travel to specialty shops or order the ingredients online from overseas. I kept telling him it was too much work, but he was a stubborn old man.”

Izuku shifted in my arms, his head on my shoulder. “Tell me more about him,” his voice was soft and growing husky as sleep started to claim him.

I hummed softly. “He liked what the day symbolized – families coming together to be thankful for the people in their lives and for the things they were gifted with. To be honest, I often wondered as a child if he regretted raising me, but I knew that was wrong as I got older. It was almost like… raising me gave him a purpose, a reason to face every day with a smile. And I guess in a way… he was the same for me. I remember it so clearly, waking up at one in the morning on Thanksgiving day to sounds in the kitchen. I’d sneak down the hallway, careful of that stupid ass board on the right that always creaked when you stepped on it. And there he was, seeming to radiate warmth and happiness as he bustled around the kitchen getting all the dishes ready for that day.”

I smiled, my hands fisting around his jacket as I took a shaky breath. “He always wore that stupid ass apron I gave him on his birthday in fifth grade. It was this god awful snot yellow color with lime green stripes. If you stared at it too long, you’d go fucking cross-eyed. And it had this… hell, even to this day I don’t know what it was. I think it was a Rhino in a chef’s hat but I guess it coulda been a hippo? Or a fat giraffe with a short neck. He was convinced it was a Thanksgiving Zebra, but I still think he’s nuts. There’s no way that was a damn Zebra, and I would literally list the reasons why it couldn’t be, but he’d just listen intently with a bright smile, nodding his head to show that he was listening. And once I was done ranting, he’d pat my head and simply say, ‘Thanksgiving Zebras are quite special’. I swear he was batty.”

Zuku chuckled. “What makes a Zebra a Thanksgiving Zebra?”

“They have to be fat as fuck apparently. And orange. At least I think it was orange. It coulda just been a really dark yellow. I’m telling you, this apron was all kinds of wrong! I will never understand what I was thinking when I looked at that thing in the store and was like, ‘This is feckin’ awesome, he’s gonna love it!’. But he did love it, wore it every time he cooked, even on the rare occasions we had guests over. He wore it without shame and always with a smile.”

“Because it was from you, so it was special.”

“Hmm, probably, yeah.” I sighed deeply. “Come on, let’s get you to bed, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I wanted to hear more stories,” he pouted, but he was clearly having trouble holding his eyes open.

“I promise to tell you some more later, okay?” I stood up, putting my arms under his body and lifting him into my arms. He snuggled closer, mumbling something under his breath before sleep finally claimed him. I held him closer, feeling my eyes sting with tears, but I forced them back. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cry, not until I’ve earned the right to do so.

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“Hey, Jen, wait up!”

I paused in the hallway, glancing over my shoulder. Ryuu was dodging students as he headed toward me, smiling brightly. When he finally reached me, he threw his arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I chuckled, hugging him back. “Hello to you, too. What’s up?”

“Are you busy?” He questioned, pulling away.

“Uhh, I got a shit-ton of homework that I probably won’t do and might accidentally burn but that’s about it.” I grinned.

He huffed, putting his hand on his hip. “You better not! You’re not allowed to get kicked from the hero course because you refuse to do your work.”

“Yes, mother.”

He nudged my shoulder but I didn’t miss the way his lips twitched up. “What do you say we hang out at the library for a bit and work on it together?”

I hummed. “Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to lure me away, Hiryuu Rin~”

“As if,” he teased, tugging on my hand. “Come on, let’s get to it!”

“But learning is so boring~”

“You won’t be a hero with that attitude~”

“Last time I checked, pros don’t have to go around dividing letters with numbers to defeat villains,” I grumbled, throwing my head back.

He hummed. “True, but what if you come across a math villain?”

“Punch him in the dick.”

He sweatdropped. “What if he has hostages and he’ll only release them if you solve his math problems?”

I looked at him blankly. “What are the actual chances of that fucking happening, Ryuu?”

He huffed, puffing out his cheeks. “It could happen!”

I poked his inflated cheek with a chuckle. “Anything is possible, I guess.”

Ryuu led me to the back of the library, settling down in the corner. The next few hours were spent taking turns on our homework assignments. I was able to help him with a couple subjects, while he had my back for some of the harder ones, like math. And then there was physics, which left us both fucking stumped.

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The librarian peeked her head around a large bookshelf, her tired, dull eyes landing on us. “Library’s about to close. Time to leave.”

I glanced out the window and clicked my tongue. “Damn, we were here for a while. It’s dark out.”

He nodded, stuffing his books into his bag. “They say time flies when you’re having fun, but…”

“We weren’t having fun at all,” I pointed out and he shrugged, stifling a yawn.

“Can I come back to your dorm?”

“Ho~? I didn’t know you were so forward, Ryuu.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he rolled his eyes, rubbing his arms as we stepped out into the cold.

“I was thinking more along the lines of hot chocolate and a movie.”

“Well, that’s no fun.”

“Just what were you thinking…” he muttered under his breath before shaking his head at my grin. “Nevermind, I don’t want to know!”

The walk to 1-A’s dorm passed in comfortable silence, Ryuu practically glued to my side as he soaked up the warmth from my body. I wonder if his body reacts negatively to the cold because of his reptile-like quirk. I should ask him about that later.

We stepped inside and I immediately froze in the doorway, my eyes wide.

Ryuu took his shoes off, looking back at me curiously. “Jen? What’s wrong?”

“I, uh…” I swallowed hard, covering my mouth and closing my eyes. As soon as I stepped into the building, the smell of food had wafted to my nose, almost as if it were waiting at the door to tease me. It smells just like… like the house did every Thanksgiving morning. It’s the exact same smell.

A hand rested on my shoulder, Ryuu looking at me with worry. “Do you feel sick?”

“No, I just…” I took a breath, forcing a smile as I tried to ignore the smell. “Sorry, just remembered something.”

“Are you sure? You look pale…”

I chuckled, pushing past him. “I was born pale. You up for grabbing the hot chocolate and heading to my room for the movie? Not really in the mood for socializing.” I stepped into the kitchen and froze for the second time. What the fuck?

“If you’re not in the mood for socializing, that might be a problem, Winchester.” Kirishima grinned.

“You better fucking get in the mood, bitch!” Katsuki scowled, his face twisted up.

“Welcome home, Jen.” Izuku greeted, brightly.

“Huh, class A certainly loves going over the top for everything, don’t they?!” Monoma laughed, but it didn’t have its usual mocking undertone to it.

“I hope you don’t mind us joining you guys,” Kendo smiled, tilting her head.

My eyes scanned the faces of classes A and B, all stuffed into the kitchen around the table that had been covered in various dishes of food – turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole… Am I dreaming? I don’t… I can’t…

Ryuu embraced me, his hand finding my cheek. “You’re crying…”

“What? No, I -” I lifted my hand, wiping at my eyes. I am crying. I’m crying in front of both classes. They’re supposed to look at me and be reassured and feel safe, how can they do that if I’m crying my eyes out? Why am I even crying?

Momo and Ashido rushed over to me, pushing Ryuu away as they fussed over me, squishing me between them. “We’re sorry, we should have asked first!”

“Yeah, don’t cry, Jen!” Ashido squeezed me tighter.

“I don’t… know why I’m crying…” I sobbed, rubbing at my eyes furiously but the tears wouldn’t stop coming.

Izuku smiled sadly as he approached, pulling my hands away from my face. “All Might thinks you haven’t properly grieved for Gramps. That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to do this, to give you a chance to… to… properly grieve and to realize… to realize that you’re not alone!” His shoulders shook as his eyes filled with tears.

“Damn it, Deku! You’re supposed to make her feel better not start crying with her!!” Katsuki slammed his hand on the table, the silverware rattling.

“Can I… have a minute, please?” I asked softly.

The two girls exchanged a look before hesitantly pulling away. I bowed my head and stepped out of the kitchen, heading back out through the doorway. As soon as it clicked, I leaned back and slid down, my body shaking from the effort it took to hold back the rest of my tears.

‘Remember, kitten, life isn’t always easy. More often than not, you will face hardships and pain that will be so bad, you will begin to question why it has to be that way. However, just as happiness is often fleeting, so, too, is sadness. You may think that crying makes you a weak person, but I assure you it does not. Crying is a sign that you’ve been strong for too long, and there is no shame in it. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions, kitten. They are not your weakness, they are your strength.’

“Young Jen?”

“Toshi…” I sobbed, tears flowing down my cheeks as my body shook.

Warmth flooded me as I was brought into a strong chest, arms wrapped tight around me. A tired voice sighed from somewhere behind him, “I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Shouta…”

He kneeled beside us, his hand gently rubbing the top of my head. “Sorry, I should’ve stopped them.”

I shook my head. “No, I… I just…”

Toshi rubbed my back comfortingly. “When young Midoriya came to me and told me about his conversation with you the other night, I saw this as a teaching moment. He wanted to get together with the rest of your class, as well as class B, to have a Thanksgiving dinner in honor of your Gramps. I knew this would be hard for you, but I was sure that it was the right thing to do. You accepted the fact that he was gone, but you never grieved for him, did you?”

I shook my head, clutching his sweater between my fingers.

“When we lose someone we love, closure is important for us to heal and move forward. And… I worry that you might feel alone in this new world, but you have impacted those around you, even those from class B. They were more than happy to help out when young Midoriya explained things to them.” Toshi pushed me backward, grasping me by the shoulders and giving me his signature smile. “You are surrounded by people who love you, my dear Jen. Never forget that.”

And I smiled back, even with the tears still falling from my eyes.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

When I returned to the kitchen twenty minutes later, several worried eyes snapped to me, no doubt noticing my red and swollen eyes, but I smiled brightly at them to ease their worries, stepping aside to let the two teachers inside.

“Hey, All Might made it!” Kaminari cheered.

“And Aizawa-sensei, too!” Kishima grinned.

“Does that mean we can eat now? I’m fucking starving,” Katsuki complained, his arm thrown over the back of the chair as he glared at the ceiling.

“Yes, let’s dig in!” Momo clapped her hands excitedly and the room sprung to life, everyone squeezing into the chairs around the table. Not everyone could fit, of course, and they ended up sitting off to the side or on the counters. All Might himself took up two and a half seats as he sat at the head of the table, laughing and chatting with the students as he told them stories from his youth.

I sat at the opposite end, between Shouta and Izuku, both of whom kept glancing at me with worry, though the greenette wasn’t trying to hide it like our teacher was. I chuckled, taking each of their hands with my own. “Thank you for this. It really means a lot to me.”

“Of course!” Izuku squeezed my hand, giving me a bright smile. Aizawa didn’t say anything, but he squeezed my other hand.

“You Sparky fuck, that turkey leg was mine!!”

“Huh? I don’t see your name on it, Bakugo.”

“Do you wanna die?!”

“Ahahaha! What deplorable manners class A has! Pathetic!”

“Be quiet, Monoma!”

“So many beautiful girls packed into one room, I just wanna touch them…”

“You’re disgusting!”

“Can you pass the cranberry sauce? Ribbit.”

“Here you go, frog girl!!”

“You’re too loud, Tetsu!”

“Hey, All Might, what was your favorite thing about America when you lived there?”

“That’s easy, young Kaibara! I loved seeing the -”

“Hey, you guys started without us!!” The room turned their attention to the doorway where Midnight, Gran and Present Mic stood. Midnight, who had spoken, huffed in annoyance. “There better be a turkey leg left!”

“Itps mjinre!” Katsuki mumbled around the turkey leg that he had stolen from Kaminari.

“You little brat, give it here!” She demanded, nearly jumping across the table to tackle him. His eyes grew wide and he took off, yelling obscenities at her as she chased him around the kitchen.

Gran approached me, putting her hand on my shoulder and smiling kindly. “Happy Thanksgiving, deary.”

I looked around the room, watching the chaos that was ensuing around me. And I smiled, my heart full of happiness and warmth. Things haven’t been easy, and I’m sure the road ahead of me is far from clear, but I’m surrounded by people that care about me, that I care about. Gramps… wherever you are right now, I want you to know that I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me. These idiots may not be entirely sane and they may drive me up a wall sometimes but… they are home. My home.

“Hey, hey!” Mic raised his voice, making the glasses rattle. “Let’s go around and say what we’re thankful for! Start us off, Uraraka!”

She pulled a surprised face at suddenly being called before tilting her head and smiling. “I’m thankful that we can all be here together!”

“Excellent! Iida, you next!”

“I’m thankful to be with friends during this time of giving thanks!”

“That’s the same as what Uraraka just said but good job! Let’s keep this train a-rollin’, folks!”

“I’m thankful for music.”

“Boobs. Definitely boobs.”

“I’m thankful Bakugo didn’t kill me for that turkey leg…”

“I’m thankful that everyone here is so manly!”

“I’m thankful I’m not sitting next to Mineta…”

“Anime and manga, definitely.”

“I’d be thankful if this bitch would stop chasing me!!”

“And I’d be thankful if you’d give me that turkey leg you brat!”

“I’m thankful that all of you dears are healthy~”

“Hah, I’ll be thankful when class A finally goes down!”

“I’ll be thankful when I don’t have to babysit Monoma anymore…”

“I’m thankful I got to meet Kirishima!!”

“I’m thankful that I sparkle so beautifully. I am magnifi -”

“I’m thankful for this awesome food!”

“What about you, Jen?” Izuku asked, curiously.

“Me?” I hummed as several people looked at me expectantly. I grinned brightly. “Ain’t it obvious? I’m thankful for tacos!”

Zuku sweatdropped. “I shoulda guessed…”

“Well, you stick to your guns, at least, young Jen!”

“Speaking of,” I looked Zuku dead in the eye, my expression deadly serious. “Where the fuck are my tacos, bro?”

His body tensed and he swallowed hard. “Um, I… I didn’t see any mention of tacos when I was researching Thanksgiving…”

I clicked my tongue. “That’s fucking shameful, Zuku. No holiday is complete without tacos.”

“I-I’m sorry!”

I grinned, ruffling his messy hair. “Make sure you don’t forget next year, ‘kay?”

His face lit up and he nodded. “Of course!”

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

「“Give thanks for a little, and you will find a lot.” – Hausa Proverb」

「“People cry, not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” – Johnny Depp」

「“Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.” – William Shakespeare」

「“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones」

「“We fall, we break, we fail. But then, we rise. We heal. We overcome.” – Unknown」

[pug gif]

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⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

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waywardfacegarden · 4 years ago

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Hey there! I saw that "ask me about my fic" post and thought I'd ask some questions!! Specifically regarding your "The sun is too bright, it hurts" one; questions 1, 3, 4, 7 and 8? 👀

Hello there!!! First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, YOU’RE SO NICE!!!!! ;---; Honestly, I love you so much.

Second of all, AAAAAH, THAT FIC. I really love that one, is one of the first works I did for my boys!!!! I have a soft spot for it. (That said, I actually reread it to answer this LOL, because as much as I remembered a lot of it, I also didn’t remember a lot of specifc dialog/narration of it, haha.)

Answers under the cut because I, somehow, managed to do this unnecessarily long, LOL. I’m sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you don’t mind me babbling a lot about my own fic, haha.

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Well, I was inspired to write that AU because I’m weak for the idea of Sasuke and Naruto being childhood friends!! Haha. And I just easily pictured them growing up together with their families being friends. It’s something that I think would happen in a modern au, and I really wanted to explore the relationship of two people growing up together, being there in all of their different phases (and the challenge of having to write them at different ages, because as much as the essence of who they are is the same, they don’t act exactly the same, you know?), knowing each other better than anyone else. They would come to love every single one of the aspects that makes them them; like, even if something must be annoying, it’s endearing for the other at this point, and I find that very tender and soft.

As for the way that it’s written, I find it easier to guide myself while writing if I divide the story in “short stories/scenes”, so that’s why it’s like that (if you look at my fics, I always “divide” my stories, haha). I also really like the narrative that goes, for example, “October. 1990. 15 years old.”, because, (for me at least), it’s so much easier to imagine the environment/context/scene like that? It also gives me off movie vibes, tbh😂😂

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I apologize in advance because I’m going to make this reply excessively long, even when the ask is so simple😂😂 While I was re-reading, I found a lot of quotes/parts that I liked a lot, so please indulge myself and look at all my word vomit, lol (the parts in bold letters are what I especially love about that specific excerpt):

[[AH! AND ALSO! I realized I made a LOT of grammar mistakes in the fic when I was re-reading today, it’s kind of embarrassing ahhh, haha. It needs heavy editing, huh. But anyways, so, in some lines here, I changed some words for what I actually wanted to write/what’s grammatically correct, now that I know more about english, haha. So in some lines they’re a bit different from the actual fic.]]

My favorite, favorite line, for reason, is this one:

Sasuke’s heart flutters on his chest, like flower’s petals in the wind, like a butterfly flapping its wings.

I don’t know, I really, really, REALLY love metaphors and I like the way it was phrased here?? Like, the words I chose sound so pretty for me, haha.

My second favorite line is this one, simply because I’m a cheesy dork:

Sasuke does not know when he fell in love with Naruto; he probably was always a bit in love with him.

Another lines of narration I really, really love:

His love for Naruto reminds him of that. Destruction. Storms, tornadoes. Because it’s brutal, too intense, too strong. It is inexhaustible. It’s unexpected and unpredictable and it makes his stomach ache.

^^ That one is just. Really what I think Sasuke feels like about falling in love, and more than anything, falling in love with Naruto, so I really love it. I have an obsession on making love sound messy and chaotic, too, tbh, haha. Guilty.

[…] and his voice sounds tired, because he’s tired, he can’t stand it anymore, and he’s stupid, stupid, stupid, because Sasuke wants to cry, and because Sasuke wants to kiss Naruto while he cries because Sasuke is a damn tragedy walking, but he can’t, he can’t and that’s hard.

I really like this one because I honest to God think Sasuke is a damn tragedy walking (and I’m saying this like a good thing, he’s my favorite disaster, haha). He’s just, idk, really a disaster, and I can easily picture him having a meltdown because he loves Naruto so much that he can’t even stand it, and he’s tired of hiding it, and he’s tired of everything, and he just wants to fucking cry but he also wants to kiss Naruto AND kiss Naruto while he cries, even if that’s weird. Idk, Sasuke just strikes me as the kind of guy who would want to kiss the love of his life while crying, LOL.

[…] he’s so close that, for a moment, the only thing he can see is blue. Blue, blue, eternal, endless, inexhaustible, precious blue; that swallows him, that overwhelms him, that suffocates him.

I remember being so proud of this part because, as you can see, I’m obsessed with Naruto’s eyes😂😂 And then when I showed the story to my sister she laughed her ass off here LMAO. She gave me A Look. LOL. She saw through me like a book, she knows I just tried to sound poetic but I suck LOL. But I still really like this part.

And Naruto is smiling, and Naruto is there and everywhere and Sasuke wants to drown in him.

So he does.

ASDJLFJLSDFKDL. The idea of Sasuke wanting to drown in Naruto is just. I love it, lol.

He kisses him as he should be kissed. […] He kisses him and Naruto kisses him back and Sasuke almost sighs. Because it feels so good to be real; because it feels like falling into bed after a long and tiring day. It feels like a hot shower against your aching body and like the emotion you feel when climbing a roller coaster.

For some reason, I love writing kisses, LOL, and I wanted to convey so much through this one. Like both of them have been wanting to kiss the other for years, now, but you could feel Sasuke’s desperation especially, and I really wanted the kiss to feel like “God, finally, finally” but also “this is it. This is what home feels like”. I feel like it probably still lacks something, but I still like how I put it into words.

[Now, I really hope you don’t hate me for this LOL, but I’ll add the complete parts I like, even when they have dialogue. It’s this case where bold letters are the lines that I especially love about the part.]

Naruto takes a step forward, a long one, and cuts the distance between them. Sasuke’s heart flutters on his chest, like flower’s petals in the wind, like a butterfly flapping its wings. Naruto is so close that Sasuke can see the three soft freckles on his cheekbones. He can distinguish each one of his golden eyelashes shining against his eyelids. He can see the way the iris in his eyes is darker on the edge; the shape of his lips, cracked, that make Sasuke’s mouth become very dry. And heck, they are moving, so Naruto is talking.

“Sasuke,” Naruto says, and his voice is soft and soothing in the loneliness of the hallway. His fingers are like burning embers when he places them on his shoulder. “Look at me, Sasuke.”

And Sasuke obeys. He turns around and looks at him, and Naruto has a storm inside those pretty eyes, and Sasuke just wants… he just wants… “Honestly, I would kill myself if I had that face.”

God fucking dammit.

“He was talking about you.” He answers, finally, and his voice gets stuck and tightens in his throat.

Naruto blinks, surprise flooding the light blue of his eyes. “Oh,” he says, so low that if they were not four inches away in a desolate corridor, Sasuke would not have heard it.

“Itachi is waiting for me.” He says, because he really wants to leave; he wants Naruto to stop looking at him like that.

“Itachi asked me to check up your injuries, Sasuke. Itachi is not angry. I guess he deduced what happened, he’s smart, so…”

“I’m not hurt, Naruto. Now let me go.”

Naruto stops pressing the cold gauze on the torn skin of his knuckles. The soft fabric burns and itches on his skin, but not as much as the way Naruto keeps looking at him, hell.

They are 15 years old and Naruto is the most beautiful boy he has ever seen. Naruto has grown up and he’s taller now, almost as tall as Sasuke is, and has the most beautiful blue, cerulean eyes (beautiful as the clear water of the lakes, beautiful as the sky on summer mornings), and long, blond eyelashes and cute lips and messy hair kissed by the sun. He’s gorgeous. And maybe Sasuke is paying too much attention, but hell, it’s hard not to.

They are 15 years old and Sasuke would hit a three-meter bully for that boy. Sasuke would do anything for that boy.

He says, with a smile that covers half of his face. His hair is messier than usual and several blond strands fall on his forehead. His blue eyes sparkle in the darkness. His blue shirt sticks to him in all the right angles and Sasuke thinks if you were not so damn attractive, I would surely kill you right now, you idiot. But he doesn’t say it, because of course, that’s not something you would say to your best friend.

“Naruto, I’m not going to get into your father’s van in the middle of the night and drive to a Waffle House at twelve in the morning.”

Naruto seems confused. He keeps his balance on the window frame and raises his hand to show him the set of keys. “No problem, Sas. I have the keys.”

- [I really like this one because just, the idea of them going to a Waffle House in the middle of the night is a favorite of mine, and the dialogue of Sasuke being like “i’m not going to drive to a waffle house at fucking 12am” and Naruto being just like “no worries, i have the keys” because he thinks the problem is that Sasuke doesn’t want to steal the car is so funny LMAO. Also, I live for Naruto calling him “Sas”.]

Damn fucking Naruto. Fuck his stupid heart. Fuck the one who decided up there that it would be a good idea to give him a nice smile and a beautiful personality and the eyes of Gods. Fuck the one who decided it would be good for Sasuke to fall in love with a stupid blonde with a heart of gold, stubborn as hell. Fuck the one who thought it would be a good idea for Sasuke to like his best friend. Fuck the one who decided that Waffle Houses could open for 24 hours. Fuck Naruto with his beautiful eyes; damn, damn, damn and fucking dammit.

- [I LAUGH SO HARD AT THIS PART. Like poor dude, he’s just so Done about having a crush and being in love with his Best Friend LMAO. I love how he curses the Gods and Everyone and Naruto Especially while also changing and going downstairs to go out with said crush.]

It’s strange that he’s so quiet, but at least Sasuke can look at him out of the corner of his eye from time to time. And when the light from the headlights on the side of the street hits him right in the face, and Sasuke can admire how beautiful he is, how stunning his eyes are and how bright they look and how his hair is gleaming and the so pretty and alluring that is the whole him, all of him… is those moments when Sasuke thinks that, maybe, it was not such a bad idea that Naruto woke him up in the middle of the night to drive to a Waffle House. Maybe, it’s not so bad that Naruto is crazy. Maybe, it’s not so bad that Sasuke is in love with him.

You know how in that tragic movie where the girl has cancer she says something in the beginning like “I fell in love with him like falling asleep, suddenly and without realizing it”? Yes, well. Sasuke used to make fun of that, even if Naruto thought it was very romantic. But now, as he sees his best friend smiling in a damn suit that fits his body in all the right places, now that he sees him laughing with the gym lights doing wonders on his tanned skin, now that he is listening to him talk and laugh and just being him, being happy… now he understands it. Sasuke does not know when he fell in love with Naruto; he probably was always a bit in love with him. He does not know when it happened or why, the only thing he knows now is that he is completely, totally, utterly, head-over-heels in love with him, so much so that it is ridiculous.

The realization hits him. Hard and strong against his stomach, like the thousands of stones and heaps of earth in an avalanche. Destroying cliffs, roads.

It’s like when you have a leak in your house and you do not fix it and you probably don’t realize the damage it is doing until after weeks the hole on the cement floor is too big to ignore. It’s like the snowball that is falling and growing on the steep hill that you don’t notice until it’s too late.

It’s just like that.

And the realization is so big and so brutal that it terrifies him, because Sasuke not only loves Naruto, Sasuke is in love with him. He loves every damn part of him in the rawest and realest way possible and it scares him so much that he can’t stand it.

“Naruto. I’m not in the mood,” he says, and his voice sounds tired, because he’s tired, he can’t stand it anymore, and he’s stupid, stupid, stupid, because Sasuke wants to cry, and because Sasuke wants to kiss Naruto while he cries because Sasuke is a damn tragedy walking, but he can’t, he can’t and that’s hard.

[…] he’s so close that, for a moment, the only thing he can see is blue. Blue, blue, eternal, endless, inexhaustible, precious blue; that swallows him, that overwhelms him, that suffocates him.

He’s as close as that time when they…

“Sasuke, you’re a fucking idiot.” He says, his breath warm against his own lips.

[…]

He’s as close as that time when they kissed.

Naruto is kissing him, Holy…

It’s abrupt and so sudden and Sasuke has not closed his eyes, (Sasuke can’t even believe it to begin with, because they’re kissing), but Naruto does, so he can see the thin, long golden lashes that flutter softly against his own cheekbones. They tickle him. He can see the cascade of hair on his forehead and the mess of color on his skin and everything is so familiar. The cracked feeling of his lips, the blue so close, the hair that tickles Sasuke… It’s making him dizzy. Everything is so familiar, and yet so different at the same time. It’s coarser, stronger.

Naruto doesn’t seem to know what he is doing though; he just keeps pressing his lips so hard against his that Sasuke thinks he might knock a tooth out of him. His fingers continue to cling to his tie, crumpling it between his fingernails, and it’s…

Sasuke doesn’t care. Because Naruto is kissing him, and even if he’s clumsy, Naruto is kissing him, and his heartbeat thunders into his ears, the blood rushes in his veins and everything is chaos.

With Naruto everything is chaos.

Like the storms.

Like hurricanes.

Everything is too intense and strong and…

“You know what?” He says, and he continues laughing, but not so much anymore. “Ino said you would make exactly that face.”

Sasuke blinks. What?

“Did you tell Ino about—” Sasuke doesn’t quite know how to define it, even if he’s supposed to be good with words, so he just manages to move his hand between them in a movement that Naruto would do, and adds, “—this?”

Naruto gives him a sideways little smile. “Actually, I told Shikamaru, Ino was just there.”

Once again. What?

“What?”

Naruto grins. Bright and toothy, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Sasuke, teme. You’re easier to read than you think.”

Sasuke is about to yell at him because what? But then Naruto’s smile softens, and it’s sweet and tender and intimate. And the words that come out of his lips moments later roll off his tongue and roll up through the air and dance and spin and hit Sasuke with such force that he practically staggers.

“I love you too, you bastard.”

It’s too much.

And Naruto is smiling, and Naruto is there and everywhere and Sasuke wants to drown in him.

So he does. He takes a step and closes the distance between them and drowns in him.

One of his hands takes him from the suit and brings him closer while the other slips behind him and mixes with the strands of hair that are too soft against his skin. And then he kisses him again. He kisses him as he should be kissed. He kisses the brain out of him and leans against his personal space and enters his bubble of warmth, the warmth that radiates from every pore of his being. He kisses him and gets drunk with his smell and his skin and all of him.

He kisses him and Naruto kisses him back and Sasuke almost sighs. Because it feels so good to be real; because it feels like falling into bed after a long and tiring day. It feels like a hot shower against your aching body and like the emotion you feel when climbing a roller coaster.

It’s all at once.

Rawly intense and gently soothing.

It’s chaos.

And he kisses him again and again and again and again and again and again and again until he loses the count.

“You know what?” Naruto says in a moment. His voice is agitated and his breathing is uneven and unsteady and he is trying to pull more air inside of him. And his lips are a little swollen and Sasuke kisses him again, short and fast, before he speaks again, because Sasuke can’t help it and stop now. “Now that I think about it, I’m much better at expressing myself than you are.”

“Shut up, usuratonkachi.”

Naruto laughs. And it’s the most beautiful thing Sasuke has ever heard before.

ALSO. I absolutely ADORE the part where they’re 15. Like, how Sasuke keeps thinking “Naruto’s too much” because his sole presence overwhelms him, the fact that he keeps thinking about kissing him, the fact that he can’t take his eyes off him, the fact that he hit someone so freaking hard because they said they would “kill themselves if they had that [Naruto’s] face”, the fact that he was jealous of girls noticing Naruto because of his looks, because “yeah, Naruto was so goddamn attractive (he keeps thinking about touching him, wondering about how his skin would feel against his fingers, wanting to touch his face, his hair, daydreaming about his eyes. Dude is just Gone LOL), but ALSO, would yOU DUMB GIRLS HEAR ABOUT HIS STORIES ABOUT RAMEN??? WOULD YOU HEAR HIM BABBLE ABOUT HIS FAVORITE DUMB MOVIES AND POP MUSIC??? WOULD YOU??? WELL, I DO!!!! SO FUCK OFF!!!!!!” LMAO. I LIVE for Sasuke’s Gay Crisis and him realizing he finds his best friend criminally attractive and endearing.

(I’M SO SORRY FOR MAKING THIS ANSWER SO LONG, OMG).

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Because I’m predictable and also because, like I said, I’m a cheesy dork, my favorite line is: “I love you too, you bastard.” It just has so much power, for me. It’s so intimate and I love how Naruto says “too” even when Sasuke doesn’t say it out loud before, because Naruto just knows. It’s so gentle, even when he’s calling him “bastard” (that at this point is actually a pet name rather than an insult LMAO).

Bonus to:

“Sasuke, you’re a fucking idiot.”

I really love it LMAO. I like it because I find it funny that it’s what Naruto says just before he kisses him, but also because it’s actually so tender, too??? Like Sasuke was all “MAYBE I DON’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, HUH?!?! MAYBE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I FINALLY GOT TIRED OF YOU”; he’s throwing all this drama but he’s actually spilling his heart out and Naruto can see all through it, he can literally see what he’s actually thinking, and it just. Hits. Hard. So he’s just like, “I’m gonna cut this bullshit right here” and goes “Sasuke, you’re a fucking idiot”, with a tone that basically means actually that, like “sasuke, you fucking IDIOT. i KNOW. i KNOW. stop hurting yourself”, and it just gets me, haha.

“Do you want to go to the prom with me?” […] “I’m serious, Sas. I want you to go with me.”

I was so excited when I wrote those two lines. Again, I’m weak for Naruto calling him “Sas”, and I wanted so bad Naruto asking him to prom. Even if it’s not with a big gesture, it FEELS like so much for both of them. And I wanted to make sure that it sounded like he wasn’t joking around, even if he made the proposal “easier to digest” by phrasing it later like he was asking Sasuke just because he was his best friend and he wanted him to have fun with him (which, yeah, but he also knew about Sasuke being in love with him, and Naruto was, too, so he was just being assertive in the situation, trying to make it easier for Sasuke because he knows him, and he knows how big it already feels like for him just being asked as a friend).

“Because I want you to take your head out of your ass for a moment and have fun with your best friend?”

Naruto telling Sasuke to take his head out of his ass is my favorite thing ever LMAO.

7. Where did the title come from?

To be honest, I’m TERRIBLE to put titles. I always forget to name my fics, because I focus on the story itself first, haha. I always save the docs in word like “childhood friends au sns” or “christmas au” or things like that, planning to actually name them later, but I ALWAYS forget to do it. I always remember when I actually have to put a name to it because I’m about to post it on AO3 and it asks me for a title first, LOL. So, basically, this one (and all my other titles) came up last minute. I have always liked when Naruto is compared to the Sun (I do it at the end of the fic, too, haha), and I thought the fic itself revolves around Sasuke’s love for Naruto, Sasuke’s journey to get to know Naruto and fall for him, and Sasuke realizing his feelings and being constantly overwhelmed by them because of they’re so strong and so deep and because Naruto just feels like Too Much sometimes (in a good, messy way) to him. So I thought it was accurate to call it “The Sun is too bright, it hurts”, because for me, it basically encompasses what the fic is about: Naruto is too much sometimes that it actually hurts Sasuke, because he Can’t Handle Feelings and it’s Suffocating and Overwhelming and Scary, but it’s okay at the end, because Naruto feels just as much as him. (I actually wanted to add “but it’s okay” at the end, but I felt like it was too long already LOL).

8. Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

It’s not actually real people or real events, but I actually based the scene where Sasuke saves Naruto from getting run over by a car from one of my favorite, favorite scenes in Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. It’s a lot like the one there in the book, but I found it a very Sasuke Thing to do, and I also liked how it lined up with the fact that “Sasuke’s feet moved on its own” in actual canon. Boy is willing to give his life for Naruto in any universe and I respect that, LOL.

The scene where people were talking shit about Naruto’s face is based from a scene I watched on the movie Wonder. I always cry with the movie and I had just watched it before writing the fic, so I wanted to write something based on that scene because it got me hard.

It’s also pretty obvious, but the accidental kiss is there because I absolutely Love it and I have mad respect for Kishimoto for that, so if I can, I’m going to make that accidental kiss happen in every single fic I write for them LOL.

Anyways, that would be all!!!!! I’m so sorry for making this hella long, lol, but I’m honestly so happy you were curious about this fic!!!! Like I said, I have a soft spot for this one, just as much as I have a soft spot for SNS. They will always be my favorite boys and my favorite ship ever. And I really enjoyed re-reading my own stuff and remembering my feelings while writing it years ago. AND IT JUST. MEANS A LOT TO ME???? This fic is from YEARS ago, and the fact that you ask about it just means more than I can express with words. SO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, HONESTLY.

I HOPE YOU’RE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY/NIGHT. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BEYOND. HOPE YOU’RE SAFE, OKAY AND HAPPY. <333333333333333 LOTS OF LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!

#asks #my writing #my fics #sns #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING YOU'RE SO SWEET I CAN'T BELIEVE IT #i love you!!! ;--;#i really really appreciate it #and i really really hope you're doing fine #SENDING YOU HUGS AND WARM POSITIVE VIBES!!!!!!!!#the sun is too bright it hurts #this is soooo criminally long tho #i'm so sorry omg #why am i like this #why do i talk a lot

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endorstoiii · 7 years ago

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todas as asks que não foram feitas

1:Full name.I don’t like to share my full name online so I just go with Marina Sakai (that’s enough).

2:Zodiac sign.Taurus

3:3 fears.cockroaches, drowning and burning to death.

4:3 things I love.Music, drawing, movies.

5:4 turn on’s.Music, people who are similar to me, trips and playing The Sims (how random is this?).

6:4 turn off’s.Stupid people, soccer, math and being obliged to do something I don’t want to.

7:My best friend?I don’t think I have one best friend only, I have a few close friends… you are one

8:Sexual orientation?Straight.

9:My best first date?hahaha lol

10:How tall am I?1,62cm I guess.

11:What do I miss?A very good friend I made on tumblr. For some reason she is gone :(

12:What time was I born?At 6:40 am or something.

13:Favorite color?Well I have a holy trinity of colors, but I’d say purple.

14:Do I have a crush?As long as band members exist, I will have a crush LMAO.15:Favorite quote?“My world is turning pages while I am just sitting here” - Kevin Parker, Apocalypse Dreams.

16:Favorite place?Paraty (beach).

18:Do I use sarcasm?Me? No, never.

20:First thing I notice in new person?

21:Shoe size?35 in Brazil too lazy to search it for other locations :p

23:Hair color?Black.

24: Favorite style of clothing?I don’t know, I like to mixture things.

25:Ever done a prank call?Not that I remember.

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now?Yellow with lilac stripes

27:Meaning behind my URL?It’s a song by Tame Impala. Me + the lyrics = accuracy.

28:Favorite movie?Too hard… but let’s say it’s The Babadook.

29:Favorite song?TOO HARD, but hum… at the moment it is Stella Was A Diver And She Was Always Down by Interpol (which I’m listening to right now!!!) ((but also Leif Erikson and Tidal Wave and ughhhhh)).

30:Favorite band?Sorry, I cannot choose only one so here it goes my Holy Trinity: Tame Impala, Arctic Monkeys and Arcade Fire. But I am extremely obsessed with Interpol, so yeah.

31:How I feel right now?Shitty for having a week off and doing nothing.

33:My current relationship status.The same as always: single.

34:My relationship with my parents.It’s good with my mother, and ok with my father.

35:Favorite holiday.Festa junina because food.

36:Tattoos and piercing I have.None, yet.

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?who?

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?Sometimes good night from my mother and my ex sister-in-law.

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?No.

42:When did I last hold hands?God… when I was a child, maybe, with my parents, to cross the streets lmao seriously I have no idea.

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?The whole morning lol an hour at least.

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?No. Call me disgusting.

45: Where am I right now?Dining room.

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?This could only happen if I go out with my friends, none of them would go out to get drunk though hah but they would help me, I’m sure.47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Mostly reasonable level, but you know sometimes you gotta turn it louder for that one part… other times, the whole song lol48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes.

49:Am I excited for anything?Some of my fave bands will release new stuff this year, so yeah. Also, MGMT are coming to play here and I hope to go!!!50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No.51:How often do I wear a fake smile?70% of the time maybe.52:When was the last time I hugged someone?I hugged someone? I think it was 14 days ago because it was my friend’s birthday and I went to her house for a surprise party.

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?I would feel nothing.

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?I don’t think so.

55:What is something I disliked about today?The whole day, I spent it doing chores and I am dead now.

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Kevin Parker, love of my life. And many other band members.

57:What do I think about most?Music lol hum, I try to focus on my life, my future… but I can’t seem to succeed.

58:What’s my strangest talent?If I had one I can make 3 waves with my tongue, just like Daniel Radcliffe.

59:Do I have any strange phobias?I don’t know if they are strange, but I am afraid of dolls (automatonophobia) and trypophobia.

71:Do I spend money or save it?Save it… to spend it HAH (taurine with ascendant in Taurus).

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue?Nope.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?Yes, there is a rose quartz, a pink tsuru (origami), a bed sheet, a sculpture of Our Lady of Aparecida, a small fake flower that my ex sister-in-law gifted my mom for Women’s Day.

74:Favorite animal?I also have a holy trinity for this lol: cats, elephants and deers (any kind).

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Massaging my mom’s feet cause I’m a good daughter.

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is?Devicari LMAO ok this is an internal joke with my friends

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Signs of Life by Arcade Fire78:How can you win my heart? Buy me concert tickets and food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Embrace disgrace. I have just decided this haha I like the word embrace and I always say disgrace, in English, to my sister. And these two words rhyme lol80:What is my favorite word?In Portuguese, it probably is saudade because of the feeling, but there are some others that I like the pronounce, not necessarily the meaning (like resiliência, recíproco, melancolia), and I chose it by the meaning. There’s also eita, which is a perfect word, omg, I don’t know what I would do without this word. In English, one of them is embrace as I said above. But by the pronounce, it is vortex in British accent. Good af. 81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr?OH MAN, I don’t have fav blogs, I have fav people! So this is the criterion to choose. This is not in order. I AM SO SORRY1. @warpaint-impala2. @14thandeuclid3. @sastrugie4. @roger-sultrey5. @streetofthoughtinallyourbones (this one is inactive, unfortunately, but there’s so much gold in there!!!) ((she is @ourblogtoadmire))

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?hahah… hum… I would say @ all the band members who destroyed my life how much I love them. As everybody in the world is listening to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

83:Do I have any relatives in jail?Not that I know.

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Mental power, just like Professor Xavier, but with telekinesis too. Oh, and being able to fly.

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Hum, I can only think of “y/n” type of question, which would be very obvious… so I guess the question would be “what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?” LOL

86:What is my current desktop picture?The best gig of my life, aka Tame Impala. For some reason I can’t add the picture here :/ so I’ll post it later separately.

87:Had sex?what is it?

88:Bought condoms?lol

89:Gotten pregnant?When seeing some certain pictures? Oh hell yes!

90:Failed a class?Yep, Chemistry classes mostly. I may have missed some classes, but my shitty teacher could never be patient and a good professional so I could never really learn a thing.

91:Kissed a boy?Unfortunately yes (not because he’s a boy, but because it was bad as fuck).

92:Kissed a girl?Nope.

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?No.

94:Had job?Yes, I’ve already been an English teacher for kids (imagine how dumb these kids became when they had classes with me lmao I’m sorry girls)

95:Left the house without my wallet?No, never.

96:Bullied someone on the Internet?No.

97:Had sex in public?lmao what does sex mean?

98:Played on a sports team?Yes, I used to play handball at school.

99:Smoked weed?No.

100:Did drugs?No.

102:Drank alcohol?Yes, today. But I never went out to drink, neither had a single alcoholic drink only for me.

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Nope.

104:Been overweight?No. I mean, never been in an unhealthy way.

105:Been underweight?Possibly when I was a child and had anemia.

106:Been to a wedding?Yes, the last one was on April 2017. It was my friend’s sister wedding.

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?I think so, playing The Sims lol I love this game.

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Probably… I’m not sure.

109:Been outside my home country?No :( (not yet!)

110:Gotten my heart broken?Yes because my fave band members havE GIRLFRIENDS!!! Ok, hum, I have had my heart broken by a “real person” once (and only time). But this person is one of the best people I have ever met and my heart was broken because we could never fit; he is not a bad person at all, we just are from different realities.

111:Been to a professional sports game?No.

112:Broken a bone?No.

113:Cut myself?Yes, once.

114:Been to prom?No.

115:Been in airplane?Yes, a long time ago, and I don’t remember how many times. Maybe 2 or 3.

116: Fly by helicopter?No, but I want to!

117:What concerts have I been to?I have a list of it here! I have seen some native bands too, which were pretty cool.118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Not a crush properly, but a little attraction.

119:Learned another language?Yes, English. But I want to learn others, like Japanese and Russian!

120:Wore make up?For weddings, graduation and this kind of event. And sometimes to go out, but very, very simple.

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?LMAO

122:Had oral sex?why so many questions about sex? I still don’t know what this mean!!!

123:Dyed my hair?Never, but I’d like to.

124:Voted in a presidential election?My first time will be this year, in October. And I have no idea in who to vote!!! :)

125:Rode in an ambulance?No.

126:Had a surgery?No.

127:Met someone famous?I didn’t meet him, but I once went to an event and Beakman (from Beakman’s World) was there… but this is just like seeing a band live: you only see them, you don’t meet them.128:Stalked someone on a social network?Hahahahah hell yes

129:Peed outside?Outside what? In public, like, in the street? In a bush? No, never!

130:Been fishing?Yes, twice.

131:Helped with charity?Yes.

132:Been rejected by a crush?I had only one crush and he didn’t reject me, neither accepted.

133:Broken a mirror?Yes.

134:What do I want for birthday?My birthday was exactly 14 days ago I wanted a new pair of sneakers, and also money for gigs.

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?If I have a good financial condition, I want two. If not, only one. I don’t think too much about names, but can you believe I thought of it earlier today? Yes! Male names I like are Julian and Edwin. And female, Elizabeth/Elise, Amélia/Amelie (just like I said here) and also Helena.

136:Was I named after anyone?No, my grandfather suggested this name for me and my mom liked it.

137:Do I like my handwriting?Not anymore. It is really ugly now, it used to be better.

138:What was my favorite toy as a child?Barbie dolls, always.

139:Favorite TV Show?Decora. It’s a Brazilian tv show about renovating and decorating rooms.

140:Where do I want to live when older?Perth, Australia (thanks Tame Impala for destroying my life).

141:Play any musical instrument?Unfortunately not, and I hate this!!! I really, reaaaally want to play some! Hopefully I will in the future.

142:One of my scars, how did I get it?I have two scars on my right arm. My sister really wanted the tv control I was holding… yeah, she tried to get it from my hands and scratched my arm.

143:Favorite pizza topping?K E T C H U P! LMAO SO PAULISTAN

144:Am I afraid of the dark?No.

145:Am I afraid of heights?Yes.

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yeah, I remember once when I left the laundry room (I was alone there) and I didn’t hold the door, so it shut and it was loud, and I said it was my brother’s fault, though he wasn’t even there. My mom was getting in the laundry room and she saw it all. LOL.147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Always? lol hum, yes, it happens a lot.

148:What I’m really bad at.Everything. Ok, hum, I would say that I am really bad at being positive.

149:What my greatest achievements are.Seeing my Holy Trinity live; saving the life of some pets (my last dog and the three current cats I have) and I don’t know what else.

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me.basically everything my father says to me hum my father used to call me useless a lot of times.

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery.Help my family, move to Perth and try my life in there.

152:What do I like about myself?Nothing…………….-my music taste, and the fact that I am an open minded person.

153:My closest Tumblr friend.you (@warpaint-impala).

154:Something I fantasies about.LMAOOOOOOOOOO sorry but nope hah

155:Any question you’d like - would you read my text?Yes, I will read it.

Glenda, muito obrigada, mas nunca mais faça eu responder todas as perguntas. Por favor. Te amo

#this was the first time I had to answer ALL the questions #it took me two days to finish it lol #but well ok that's the price I pay isn't it?#my post

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stewystew · 4 years ago

Text

Ok I wrote this all in the tags of another post but I took my adderall for the first time in a week today and yeah sure, it��s worn off by now, but I’m still vibing so here we go!!! (woo this got longer than I thought it was going to be, so I’m putting the read more in)

I’m going to describe a movie to you.

This is a great movie. In one sentence, it’s a super fun found family heist movie with heavy The Devil Wears Prada vibes. which is like. the ideal set of tropes. Are you on board yet?

On top of that, there’s party-crashing, general thievery, fun costume design, an intense rivalry, a fucking choice montage, and it all ends with five friends and their five dogs living happily ever after in the big house that they stole, The End.

This is Cruella (2021). And the rumors are true, it fucking sucked. But because I actually watched it, I can tell you why it sucked, and it’s NOT that her mom got murdered by Dalmatians (at least that’s not the main reason). I can also tell you how it could be fixed.

Cruella is not actually a bad movie. But also, it very much is. (hope this helps <3) Ok. It’s bad because, of course, Capitalism. Literally the movie I described to you? Sounds super fun and great? If Disney didn’t have an obsession with making a quick buck on the back of its classic franchises, that could’ve been what Cruella was. But instead, they slapped an iconic villain on that super fun heist movie, and ruined the whole thing.

You can’t make Cruella De Vil a hero. You can’t. Other villain rewrites work because they swap the hero and the villain, or at least the villain’s atrocities are swapped out for something more understandable. But. A bunch of puppies can’t be evil. And when Cruella’s entire character is about Being Rich and Killing Puppies, you can’t change her motives or her backstory, because then all you have left is her aesthetic. Which isn’t unimportant, but you can’t build a compelling story out of an aesthetic.

But, that’s what Disney chose to do, I guess.

Here’s what happened:

1) Our main character, Estella, is born with the black and white hair (relying on the aesthetic!) (imo this is bad bc either it’s a cartoony Anime Protagonist Hair thing ooh magic. or it’s poliosis, and that’s ehh bc it’s very much framed as like. Symbolic of her ✨inner evil✨. Which is weird for it being a real thing that real people have.)

2) ANYWAY. She’s kind of a mean kid, but mostly very opinionated. We learn this when she calls a shirt ugly (aha, see? She’s into fashion!), and her mother jokes that she should be called “Cruella” instead of “Estella”. So. Now we have the name thrown in. Again, the aesthetic.

3) Blah blah, she adopts a stray dog, she punches bullies, blah blah, she gets kicked out of school, and she and her mother move to the city (she’s like 12 at this point)

4) but *gasp!* before they get there, her mother has to ask a “friend” for help because they’re poor. (So. there goes the Rich part of Cruella’s character. She no longer has anything in common with Cruella De Vil’s villainy!)

5) The “friend”, though, is very rich, and is throwing a party at her mansion (which is on a cliff). The mom goes in, and Cruella follows her. Cruella ends up getting chased by Dalmatians, but they don’t attack Cruella, instead they end up pushing her mom off the cliff. Cruella thinks it’s her fault because the dogs were chasing her.

6) Cruella goes to the city on her own, and meets two other orphaned kids, Jasper and Horace (we’ll call them J&H) (they also have a dog!), and they all live together and get very very good at stealing shit. Then, it’s like ten years later, and she wears a wig to fit in.

7) She catches the attention of a famous fashion designer (The Baroness) because of how good she is at fashion. The Baroness (who owns Dalmatians!) hires her, and now Cruella’s designing clothes for her. Also, the Baroness’s assistant(?) is Mark Strong, so the “Stanley Tucci in The Devil Wears Prada” vibes are very much there.

8) Cruella finds out that the Baroness is actually her mom’s ex-employer and the “friend” she was talking to before she died, because the baroness has her mother’s necklace, which she says her mother stole from her. The Baroness doesn’t know who Cruella is, though.

9) Cruella tries to steal the necklace back (this is the party she crashes!), and finds out that the Baroness trained the Dalmatians to kill her mother. To get revenge, she creates an alter ego where she goes full Cruella De Vil, the iconic black and white hair and everything, and upstages the Baroness by being better at fashion. (Yay double life! Yay rivalries! Yay fun montage!)

10) oof this is getting long. I’ll try to hurry it up.

11) at one point Cruella wears a fur coat and everyone thinks she’s skinned the Baroness’s Dalmatians for it, but she didn’t. Because she would never hurt a dog! *clutches pearls*

12) J&H are mad because her fashion alter ego is mean to them. She says “lol deal with it” but then later she says “oops sorry i love my friends actually” so. she’s not even that mean.

13) The Baroness tries to kill her, she fails. Mark Strong tells Cruella that she’s actually the Baroness’s daughter, and the Baroness had tried to kill her as a baby. Oh, and Cruella has a scene where she’s all “I’m unapologetically evil!” which might have been better if she were actually. You know. Evil.

14) oh, also the gay character is a guy who owns a little clothing store and he and Cruella are friends. He’s not explicitly gay tho, he’s just good at fashion and wears makeup.

15) So Cruella and her friends (J&H, Mark Strong, Gay Character) all go and crash another party for the One Final Score. It’s at the Baroness’s mansion, on the cliff, and they trick the Baroness into pushing Cruella off the cliff in front of a bunch of people and the Baroness goes to jail.

16) Cruella survives because of a parachute in her dress (lmao), and because she’s the Baroness’s daughter she gets all her money and her mansion and her dogs. And then she and J&H and Mark Strong and Gay Character all live in the big house together with their five dogs and are friends forever the end. :)

17) oh, also, Anita Darling, from 101 Dalmatians, is Cruella’s childhood friend and Cruella gives her two Dalmatian puppies at the end as a gift. Which... Would that make the Dalmatian parents in the movie siblings? :(

So now you see. Or maybe you don’t, and that was all completely incomprehensible. Either way, on to the next part!

So, obviously, it would be a much much better movie if it weren’t about Cruella De Vil, Puppy Murderer, and Disney had produced a goddamn original movie for once :)

Now, literally just trimming all the Disney Franchise gunk off the script would work. All that bad cheesy stuff would be gone, we wouldn’t be teased with the slightly-but-not-actually villainous stuff she does, and I wouldn’t have to spend the entire 2 hours desperately trying and failing to separate the movie and it’s dog-loving protagonist from the puppy murderer.

BUT. I will say that the one thing that Cruella was able to properly utilize was Cruella De Vil’s iconicness. Again, the aesthetic isn’t completely unimportant!

So I think it’d be good to maintain that. sue me. My idea is this:

Our Main Character is just some girl. Similar situation to the movie, but she’s named Ann or Sue or something. She reads The One Hundred and One Dalmatians as a child, and because she’s a Weird Little Girl, becomes obsessed with Cruella De Vil and her entire deal. And the movie proceeds in exactly the same way from then on.

Why does this work? Thank you for asking, I’ll tell you!

Disney gets to keep their dumb Classic Franchise money or whatever because we’re keeping the character

All the fun outfits get to stay the same :)

All that stuff I said about why Cruella De Vil can’t be redeemed? Doesn’t matter now that our character isn’t Cruella. We’re still capitalizing on Cruella De Vil’s icon status as an irredeemable puppy killer, but like. Without actually redeeming the puppy killer in question. Yay!

Weird Little Girls are awesome

We get a cute scene where Main Character is trying and failing to dye her hair like Cruella’s (Cruella’s hair is black and white in the book as well!) Her mom comes into the bathroom, sees half empty dye and bleach bottles in the sink, her hair bright orange. Already, I would die for this kid. (ngl this one’s the main reason I’m so attached to this version)

Ooh, this is the fun part. So, the mom gets pushed off a cliff by Dalmatians. I’m keeping this in. Main Character, of course, thinking WWCDVD? (what would Cruella De Vil do?), is like, actively antagonizing these dogs. The dogs chase her, push the mom off the cliff. It’s still not actually her fault, but the fact that she goaded the dogs into chasing her? HAHAHA WE LOVE SOME GUILT!

Oh, you may be thinking, but if she likes to act like Cruella, would Main Character still adopt that stray dog? I give you a quote from Main Character herself, which I’m totally not just now writing on the spot: “Cruella only wants to wear Dalmatians, I can still like other dogs”. Doesn’t that sound exactly like something our Weird Little Girl would say?

Ah, but what about later, when she adopts those Dalmatians? Main Character likes Cruella’s aesthetic and vibes, but she’s also an adult person with her own sense of self and an awareness that killing dogs is bad.

Anyway. Next slide!

I wouldn’t have to think about the Dalmatians at the end being siblings because 101 DALMATIANS DOESNT HAPPEN IN THIS UNIVERSE IT’S JUST A BOOK!!!

I checked, and One Hundred And One Dalmatians came out in 1956 (the movie is set in the 60s and 70s), so the timeline works! Also, hair bleach was safe to use by the 50s, so my scene in number 5 works too!

TL;DR: Cruella (2021) is a found family heist movie, and could be fixed by making the protagonist a normal person who’s favorite character is Cruella De Vil from the book The One Hundred and One Dalmatians

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk it’s 2 am and I’m fucking exhausted

#I do not care if this doesn’t get a single note I had fun writing it #mine #cruella 2021 #cruella #if this is in any way understandable ur welcome I tried very hard. but I also need to go to bed. so. I’ll see y’all in the morning.#10 bucks says I wake up tomorrow and don’t understand a word of it

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vigilantesyd · 8 years ago

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It's all over Tumblr and Twitter. You just think you know everything and you don't know your own ass from a hole in the wall. Perez Hilton even made the post about the Gulge 2 Days ago. You look foolish. Anybody can Google it and see it and also go thru the forumn threads history and find it in a search. Taylor Swift Daily News even posted too. SEE: Alex Ciaramitaro @MrCiaramitaro "I saw @taylorswift13 in the Gulch today, she said she liked my @SnoopDogg t-shirt. #Casual"

In fact, Taylor Swift even spoke to Alex Ciaramitaro 2 Days ago in the Gulge. It was her that made a comment to him about his Snoop-Dog Shirt. You only run your mouth for attention trying to ridicule people. You're a real POS. I smell you through your dirty post. Ugh!

What's wrong? You post all the other anon's but you will not post the one's that prove you wrong. What a hypocrite piece of shit you are. You don't want to post the receipts that prove Taylor Swift out and about in public at the Gulge that show your ignorance and how wrong you are. You're a real piece of work, hypocrisy at it's best. You don't deserve to meet Taylor Swift the way you bully her true fans with your lies and deceit. Ugh!

Okay, we'll see if you expose the truth of the Gulge. Nobody needs a laptop nowadays. You must have dial-up service. I'm so sorry about that.

first of all, congratulation, this is literally the craziest shit i’ve ever dealt with on this website. second of all, i’ve been studying for finals/out with my friends for the last 24 hours so i’m very sorry if i didn’t answer promptly enough for you, i do have a life off of this hellsite. third, i wanted my laptop to answer these because i didn’t want to have to answer them as separate posts so as not to annoy my followers, but i mean go off i guess lmao.

i never said i know everything all i said was i hadn’t heard anything about that because i don’t spend my life checking up constantly on where she is, i don’t check perez and i don’t have a twitter and chances are if it had been true i would’ve seen it on here or someone would have told me. one of my followers did message me yesterday and said that the general consensus on this gulge nonsense was that the guy was lying, but again, i’m really not that invested. if taylor really is out and about that’s great for her lmao.

“you only run your mouth for attention” i literally never ran my mouth, you came into my inbox trying to tell me you saw taylor swift and i chose not to believe you considering you wouldn’t give me any proof, you’re on anon, and i’ve never spoken to you in my whole life and then you decided to throw a fucking temper tantrum. i don’t see why that makes me a bad person but alright. show me the pics that you supposedly have and i will apologize to you but until then!!!!! fuck you!!!

you can call me ignorant, a piece of shit, a hypocrite but in all honesty this isn’t my most pressing concern atm, i wouldn’t say that denying that taylor swift has been out and about makes me the scum of the earth but you do you, i have other things to worry about. i never bullied you (we could probably argue that you bullied me) and don’t worry i’ll probably never meet taylor swift. have a nice day.

#anonymous #answered

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cryogengar · 8 years ago

Text

vent pt2 // aftermath

i just feel the need to put out the rest of it and maybe i can be more at peace

so relating to this post here, it’s been about two weeks. i still think i’m affected by it, judging from me staying in bed for 17 hours and having no motivation to do anything a little more than usual. after a day i posted that vent, one of my acquaintances on league, in that friend group i had told me that the girl, and my old guy friend made a joke about killing myself. it went along the lines of,

girl: “i can imagine her climbing out of the classroom window and nobody would care”

guy: “wouldn’t y’all clap”

girl: “well i would and that’s all that matters”

..yeah. that hit me hard. not only did they said that in a discord call where everybody else in there heard (and laughed apparently) behind my back (one of the people in the call sent me this), but just the fact that they used something that i struggled with as something to joke and hurt me about. sure, sometimes i personally joke about it, but i find it a right that i can joke about since i’m the one that’s going through it. but right there, that’s a joke and an insult and there clearly is no humour to it. i keep thinking of how people always say like, treat others how you want to be treated. i kept thinking of that then. why did they say that when i was the one hurting from that incident days ago? when did they it was a good idea to joke about this behind my back? and other questions and insecurities poured into my mind and i felt so betrayed. personally, no matter i think badly of someone, i wouldn’t actually say or wish harm on them like that. sometimes i’d say like ‘omg i wish he’d go kill himself’ or smth, but that was for dark humour reasons and i never meant it in this kind of way, y’know? and i definitely won’t say it behind someone’s back. so this hurt me a way lot because it was the girl who said this, who had absolutely nothing to do with my ex, added to how i was hurt from her the other day.

it just made me incredibly broken inside. for them to say this. it’s only been recently that i was talked down due to my mental disorders and here it is, just jokes about my suffering. and the fact that they said it.. like in a classroom? where i’d have 30 other classmates and a teacher? all of them.. would clap? did everyone just want me to end myself? my insecurities ate at me non stop no matter how hard i wanted to hold myself together. but yeah, the day after i went to my vice principal, my school counsellor, talked to her. the school aka her would go talk to the girl because this was unacceptable and bullying and stuff like that. but i was still hurt. i was terrified. the thought that my vp was going to talk to her... what would happen if she just talks more shit behind my back? like ‘omg bella was such a little bitch the vp talked to me today abt this’ or smth like that. that haunted me the whole day at school. my mom and vp talked afterschool, and even though i said that i didnt know if it was a good idea to talk to her, the vp and my mom insisted that she needed to know that it was wrong, and if she says more shit just report it to her again and something will be done.

i went home a little lighter. i still took naps and binge watched cartoons to distract myself from the emptiness and hurt i felt, and that inside made me feel guilty because i should be doing hw and more productive things. cue 11pm on that wednesday night.

the girl calls me. she’s crying, she’s just saying ‘im sorry’ over and over, but i felt no sympathy or compassion for her. she’s sobbing, telling me that she didn’t understand why she did those things, and that she’s a horrible person for doing and saying those things about me. i kept myself calm and just stayed quiet most of the time. we hung up like over half an hour later. i felt worse. but it calmed me that since she sounded sorry, if the vp talked to her tmr there’s a chance she won’t say shit anymore. but the thing was, i asked her if somebody made her apologise to me, and she said no, but mention my ex showed her my previous tumblr vent and told her she was going to get into trouble with the vp. it made me mad that she might’ve called me up more out of fear than genuine feelings to apologise about how much she hurt me.

in rolls next day, she skipped choir to talk to the vp. apparently she cries again, and we’re called down during first period to talk to each other. she apologies, doesn’t look up to my face, and the vp talks about moving forward. there’s a school trip to santa barbara in two weeks and i wanted to cancel and lose like $1500 bc i couldn’t stand her presence. but now i didn’t cancel for that reason and it’s still happening i guess. but... yeah. everything the ex guy friend said still hurt. everything hurt. the way he let me hurt by myself when we hung out at the cafe, when he talked shit abt me via msg, and adding his two cents to the girl’s joke about me. how mad must he be for me not thanking my ex for a fucking gift that he chose to buy on his own accord to just make me feel like absolutely a worthless piece of trash. all this time i’ve spent since last year ever since i met him. all wasted. there’s so much hurt, from the time he liked me, to times i gave up time to spend with him while i hurt myself from sleep deprivation or emotional energy, to times he let one of his friends just verbally beat me up in front of him. i felt so used. i feel so used.

so fast forward, everything is done with the girl. we’re not going to be friends anymore, i can handle seeing her at school without being triggered, she’s not going to talk shit about me anymore and i go back to hanging out with my senior friends. the guy? nothing. apparently he feels bad, but not bad enough to say anything to me. i don’t expect anything, it must be humiliating to apologise to a piece of trash like me, lol. i dont know what’s up anymore. i saw him in one of my friend’s snapchat story and i just got triggered and spent a good four hours in bed, lmao. it clearly so hurts as much as i’m trying to put it behind me. the fact that we’re still ‘friends’ on every single piece of social media still allows me to see his presence online and because i’m so sensitive it triggers me.

i just want to feel better. i don’t want to relive all of this hurt everytime i see his name. i don’t want to continue feeling like i dont matter, that my mental disorders are a disability and i’ll never be anything more than a suicidal freak. maybe it is my fault that i’m ‘always doing things for others,’ investing so much time into these these people and end up hurting because i finally see who they are. i... don’t know. i just don’t understand. i don’t want to feel betrayed, hurt, and depressed. i don’t want to feel so much anxiety going outside and talking to people because i don’t feel safe. as much support i get, i only get this support when i ask for it. no one.. really reaches out for me on their own accord, whether it’s when i’m hurting or as a friend. maybe i’m just really alone. whatever. goodnight.

#bella.txt #vent

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