#sorry to the allos but like i'm not really that sorry

[notherpuppet]

a few people have asked in inbox and dms

the way i'm writing alastor's sexuality in My Deer Nanny is that he is on the aroace spectrum. i want to manage expectations for those inquiring; he doesn't want a romantic relationship and he doesn't want to have sex.

i don't think alastor is all that introspective as a character, but he'll do what he wants and he'll avoid what he finds that he dislikes. at least that's what i'm thinking when i'm making this fanfic of him

[aromanticofficial]

ive befriended The Average Female recently and that's great and all, she's amazing and cool. but. I tried hinting that dating is really hard for me because I struggle with romantic feelings and. and she seriously said. that it's just because I'm a teen rn and it'll change

this wouldn't be so weird to me but I'm older than her. and the way she laughed like it was physically impossible for me to NOT have romantic feelings. I'm pretty sure she js doesn't know that it can happen but it made me kinda upset for a minute lol

i remembered I'm a very unseen minority of a minority umbrella 😔

look i'm sorry she said that to you bc the general public's perception of what being aromantic is like sucks but referring to someone as 'the average female' comes off as really weird. just say you made friends with a girl.

[aroaessidhe]

adult romance books with demisexual characters be like "I haven't really felt attraction but i know i WANT TO" "yeah I've vaguely heard about asexuality but never looked into it more it's all so confusing and doesn't feel right" *conflates complex feelings about romance and sex into just asexuality* "you don't have to choose labels labels are so confusing and complicated (but you will choose a label related to which genders you're attracted to)" "i know it's okay to be single and not want relationships but I want that and I feel like my life is bad and missing something because of it" *obligatory queer best friend speech telling them it's okay if they don't want sex or romance or both but the MC doesn't internalise that at all* "i don't like labels i guess demi is technically what I might be we'll put the word on the page but I just don't want to label it"

okay!!! we get it!!!

[yoonstudios]

oh my fucking godddddd i wish i could come out to my parents

[sigmarette]

*likes someone's posts* "Gee I wanna follow this person; I'm gonna check their blo-" "Aro/Allos DNI!"

Nevermind, they're a bigot!

[joejoeba]

care to share more on how you understand narancia and mista now? i’ve been here throughout you trying to understand them and i love to hear your thoughts

Not them necessarily but the dynamic that I created in my brain that intrigued me so

So my initial dynamic was; they're close in a diff way than just bros. Narancia is aro-ace and Mista is anything but. Somehow their relationship makes sense even though they're like opposites. But how??.

Me now? Shit dude labels do not fuckin matter. Romantic? Platonic? Family and found family and friends?? None a that shit matters any more than exactly what you want it to.

What I've been into lately is, if you love someone, thassit. No explanation needed because some things aren't for words. I am a believer in Mista and Narancia having a sort of bond that doesnt have a title because its unique; Narancia puts the most emphasis on friendship so Mista is a Best Friend, Mista puts an emphasis on romance and family so Narancia is a Beloved Found Family Member (non-familial, found family ain't the same as biological family). Its wildly different understandings of each other but the thing is they love each other just as much so it doesn't matter. Who give a shit? The Popo? Society? Neither of them adhere to any rules but Brummo's and their own so they just do whatever and get an understanding. And no one needs to know what's up, not even them, because how could you summarise human emotion anyway? Live and vibe and love each other the best you can.

[hollowwish]

Ah yes. The age old conflict. Am I asexual or somewhere else on the spectrum

[romance-evil-aro]

shoutout to everyone in the notes either proving or completely missing the point of this post i couldn't do it without you <3

[unrestrainedbalderdash]

Scrolling the Tumblr For You page because I'm hoping it'll somehow help me feel less lonely, NOT because I want to see people being horny over Arkhamverse Riddler

[aromanticofficial]

I'm sorry this is kinda a vent. I feel left out of the Aromantic community because I don't love my friends. I always feel guilty when I see posts about soulmates being friends and loving their friends because I can't do that. I don't like how left out aromantic aplatonics are in the aromantic community and aspec community as a whole. Allo people already make me feel guilty for not loving I hate that aros do the same. I really want to be in the aro community but I can't help but feel I don't belong. I hate how loving your friends is seen as an aromantic thing. I wish I had a queer community. The queer community irl doesn't understand aromantic issues. However the online queer community demonizes not loving even the aro community does this. Sometimes I just hate being loveless aromantic aplatonic. There is no where I belong. Sorry this is so long

there's no need to apologise - the treatment of aplatonics within the aro community is absolutely appalling. I regret that as only one blog there's only so much we can do to try and shift the attitudes of a whole community, but i'm really genuinely sorry you've been feeling excluded, the aromantic community needs to do better to accommodate and welcome our aplatonic brethren.

[willgrahams-dog]

it makes me a bit sad to see the asexual ineffable husbands fading into the background of the fandom. don't get me wrong, i actively enjoy and have no problem with content + headcanons that portray them as allosexual or allo-adjacent. it's fun and there are HELLA talented people literally everywhere you look!

but when i discovered good omens about a year before season 2 came out, it was the first time i had felt represented onscreen and within a fandom. here was an asexual love story widely accepted by the fandom, and it was beautiful! but i don't really get that vibe anymore for some reason? people who headcanon aziraphale and crowley as asexual (i personally headcanon aziraphale as a sex-favourable orchidsexual and crowley as a sex-ambivalent ace) have sorta been pushed into the corners of most online fandom spaces, and while i don't think it's intentional i do think it reflects a lot of the effects that amatonormativity has on the way we consume media.

we've been trained to favour depictions of sexual relationships in media because society tells us that they're more valid than non-conventional ones (think qprs, non-sexual romantic relationships, fwbs, etc). we're conditioned to view asexual romantic relationships as "boring" (steven moffat i'm looking at you). when we see a relationship like aziraphale and crowley's, which doesn't outwardly appear like a traditional romantic relationship, we're left wanting more and passing over the people who have already found everything they want in the ineffable husbands' relationship. i think the theories and fanart and writing are gorgeous and i'll never not love seeing a fandom (especially one so unbelievably close to my heart) thrive, but i miss seeing myself so wholly represented by the fandom's general treatment of its characters

(sorry if this was poorly worded i am. very tired right now and wanted to talk about my little guys /gn)

[papercranesandpride]

I am so pissed. The whole reason we're trending is that stupid poll about if a aro cisgender heteroSEXUAL man is queer. By definition, an allo aro. And STILL, even when the entire point is recognizing allo aros as important parts of the community who exist, aro just cannot be trending without ace and ace is automatically categorized by tumblr as going with aro instead of them being separate things. Gee, I wonder why allo aros feel alienated and unrecognizedand like we're not part of our own community when even aro positivity excludes us and says that we don't belong.

I'm sorry, I know we're all celebrating aromantic being trending and we're all supposed to be happy about it. But no. I'm pissed off. What is the point of aros being visible on this website if half of us aren't visible at all? Is it really a win if all it's really conveying is the never-ending belief that one cannot possibly be aro without being ace?

[some-random-ghost]

I hope the big bad evil in this campaign is going to be literally all romantic love gods there.

And the lust and war gods and goddesses and other godlike beings are your potential allies.

isn't wanting to be friends with other people, like, cheating? if you're aromantic?

literally what

[bloggingboutburgers]

This is a free space for you to go off, because yeah those people saying you're infantalising yourself really do sound like aphobes. There are plenty of ace and allo adults out there who don't like sex or kissing with tongues, who are also short and cute, it doesn't make any of them children. Speaking about our experiences as adult aces doesn't make us children. Anyone who thinks so needs to sit down, shut up and grow up. You deserve to draw yourself the way you want, always. <3

(OK I'm replying to this super late, but to give context to everyone, this was in reaction to this and the posts of support from other people that followed it ghfuidjgldfks)

But yeah, thank you so much for this. I'm so sorry I'm replying to this so late but ye for real tbh, I don't see anything to add. No notes. Couldn't have said it better myself and I sincerely appreciate the validation.

[velvetvexations]

Sorry to show up just to vent but someone I am mutuals with who has always been really cool about trans stuff reblogged that fucking "steal that normie she/they's wife" post and it was literally the FIRST thing I saw after opening tumblr and my entire mood is ruined. This legit feels like ace discourse all over again, where I just had to put up with allo people making horrid jokes about aspecs all the time even people I thought were cool, and I just. Idk if I can deal with that again.

TRFs: those fucking genderfuck TMEs may never say it but I know they THINK I'm boring! they're probably laughing about how I can't comprehend their multidimensional gender behind my back! I'M NOT BORING! I HAVE COOL GENDER TOO!

also TRFs: normie she/theys

I'm sorry anon, if you feel comfortable doing so you should talk to your mutual about why it hurt you

[our-aroace-experience]

BACK UP- hold on-

Demiromantic demisexuals count as aroace!? WH- I did not know this! (I'm demiromantic demisexual😅). Maybe I've just had some really sour experiences with the aroace community, but I didn't know I belonged! That... is both reassuring and saddening. Reassuring because hey, I don't feel like I'm just allo pretending to be 'special' (a stupid belief, I know, it was rooted into me XD). Saddening because if this is true... then there is A LOT of gatekeeping going on in this community. Tumblr's cool, it's reddit that kind of sucks (*Cough* r/actuallyasexual, r/actuallaromantic *cough*). Thanks for spreading the positivity! It... kind of absolutely made my day.

you absolutely belong in this community! i’m sorry others made you feel like you didn’t!