#sorry to tag i don't wanna lose my ramblings here

[pfaerie]

actually i'm spinning medieval au in my mind sorry i'm kind of obsessed actually

imagine johnny used to be the prince and y'know, like, his father probably died like when johnny was still a toddler or whatever and the kingdom (and i imagine that laura married below her station and it's her family's land and has been for generations) just runs out of money by the time he's 12 and laura remarries because she wants to ensure johnny won't be destitute and will still have a home

and it's fine for a while except it isn't and johnny never warms up to sid at all and hates him. through some blackmail fuckery i feel like johnny is threatened by sid and has to make a deal to not claim his throne or wouldn't it be a shame if something were to happen to laura (and i'm sure johnny takes it because all he cares about is his mom and he doesn't want her to live through anymore hardship)

he throws himself into his knight training and little else - doesn't care much about his education or status as a diplomat. the cobras dote on him as a posse of knights who took an oath would - act almost exactly the same as they did in the movie the just jingle when they walk. i feel like kreese is knight captain and wants johnny to take back his place on the throne - he has his own motives (something something terry silver warring kingdom

i think daniel would be part of a troupe and just tours around the kingdom and does performances wherever before laura takes a liking to him? and she hires him as a court jester? maybe even ali lives in the castle and is, y'know, betrothed to johnny and susan is her lady in waiting and ALI hires daniel for her amusement (partly because he annoys johnny and she likes to tease him - in this au, i think johnny and ali are Courting, but it's mostly a display - johnny doesn't want her that way, but he's expected to and it's better to just go along with it bc that's his duty - maybe he even takes some comfort in the fact they never will marry because of Sid)

and anyways, daniel is frustrating and cute and johnny can't help but watch his fingers as he plays the lute or juggles and he wants to shove him around bc that's the only way he can touch him and eventually johnny stops threatening him and listens to daniel practice in the courtyard (perhaps he gifts daniel with a genuine compliment or daniel plays one of his favorite tunes and johnny says as much to him or DANIEL catches johnny humming one of the tunes he's only ever played privately and his heart almost thumps out of his chest when he realizes the prince has a soft side)

i also simply have a soft spot for medieval/middle ages aus where one of them likes a bit of poetry about gays - like it's all dressed up in metaphor and maybe it's tragic and stuff, but gay resonates with gay. johnny telling daniel one of his favorites is that and daniel maybe hasn't heard of it and johnny lends him the book ("you know how to read right?" "YES I KNOW HOW TO READ ASSHOLE") and daniel Gets It immediately

and yknow they start fucking each other and maybe even daniel's writer's block finally goes away and he can finish writing that song he only ever plays in private...

[swordfright]

do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:

inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!

saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.

the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.

everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!

21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!

scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.

all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!

you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.

accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.

i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!

i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.

Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.

Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!

[cowboybrunch]

writerblr interview tag!

thank you for the tags @tragedycoded (here) @sableglass (here) and @saturnine-saturneight (here) <3 ive been meaning to get to this one for a minute sooo let's get into it

Short stories, novels, or poems?

i started with poetry, so it has a special place in my heart. all of my short stories turn into beasts. is it a cop out answer to say all of the above?

What genre do you prefer reading?

it'd be easier to list what genres i don't like. when i say ill read anything, i mean ill read anything. lately i've been on a sci fi kick (thanks Pierce Brown) but i love a good modern trashy romance as much as the next guy (i read the booktok sludge so you dont have to!) im not really a nonfiction guy but hey, if anyone has some recs, ill give em a shot

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

def NOT a planner. usually when i start writing i have a vague idea of where we start and where we need to end up, but what happens along the way is a surprise for everyone involved

What music do you listen to while writing?

SILENCE. sometimes white noise. i cant focus with music, brain gets jumbled

Favorite books/movies?

of all time? oh god for books, probably This Is How You Lose the Time War or The Song of Achilles but The Locked Tomb series is def up there. not a novel but i've read Bluets by Maggie Nelson so many times i probably have it memorized by now favorite movie is Zoolander, easy answer. that movie owns. i can watch it on repeat and ill never get sick of it

Any current WIPs?

Dust to Dust is still alive but im taking a bit of a hiatus before hopping into the final bit (tag is here if you wanna see me ramble about it) Felix Wonder is the fun time brain break WIP of choice currently and im working on draft 3 of Burden of the Reluctant Death (we will get to the ending this time. we will)

Create a character description of yourself: 

Elusive, or pretends to be. Too much energy in too small a body. Refuses to sit properly in a chair. Prone to fits of melancholy remedied by sunlight. Easily excitable, but fussy. Same outfit every day: big sweater, little pants, fuzzy socks. Nails bitten bloody but at least her hair is clean (if a bit too long for summer)

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

i could say no but that would make me a liar

Are you kill happy with your characters?

i was gonna make a joke but it would be spoilers soo. i write about grief. no way everyone makes it out alive

Coffee or Tea while writing?

coffee. i dont like tea (sorry sorry!)

Slow or fast writer?

im very much a burst writer so. flood or drought, no in between. lately i'd say SLOW but im just waiting for that spark u get me?

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

this really isnt fantasy but i feel like i was destined to be the kind, slightly off-putting maintenance man in a haunted apartment building that says cryptic things like "don't take the east elevator on a full moon" and "the air conditioning has made that noise since the fire in 12B"

Most fav book cliche:

yea there's only one bed and ill eat it up every single time!!! also: "i didnt know where else to go" or basically any overdone romance trope you can think of. im here for it

Least favorite cliche:

if there's a cliche that i dont like, i havent found it yet

Favorite scene to write?

confession scenes of any kind! scenes where the big tough character breaks down. any kind of emotional revelation, positive or negative

Reason for writing?

words in head, need words out of head ok ok fine, serious answer. i feel like writing is both asking and answering the question, "have you felt like this before? has anyone ever felt like this before? am i alone?" and it's proof that you're not the first and only person to ever experience the things you're experiencing. even this made up guy in this pretend world understands rage and despair and joy and grief and love. the source is different but the result is the same. human connection, man. love it and! it's fun. im having fun

tag!!

@knightinbatteredarmor @friendlesscat @tildeathiwillwrite @glassonthewall @illarian-rambling

@mysticstarlightduck @dyrewrites @sarandipitywrites @oliolioxenfreewrites @xenascribbles

[marshmellopie]

[This post updates constantly!]

HEY EVERY !!

–My name is Half-Price, but you can call me Price, Mello, or Kālā too!

–He/Him primarily, I also use Xe/Xem and They/Them

–17!!

–Asian/Pacific Islander, predominantly Kanaka Hawaiʻi. Aloha kākou! ʻŌlelo au i ka ʻōlelo Hawaiʻi, akā ʻaʻole nui loa... ke ʻaʻo nei au. (I speak Hawaiian, but not much... I'm still learning.)

–DNI: Basic criteria, NSFW/Fetish blogs, proshippers.

–Depending on my mood I may type in all lowercase (or all uppercase), keysmash, and sometimes use emojis/kaomojis ٩( ᐛ )و

–I bounce between hyperfixations, but the ones currently invading my mine are:

• Spamton G Spamton (Deltarune)

• Glam (Metal Family) [Main Hyperfixation!! But I'm scared to consider myself part of the fandom because the more I look into it the weirder it fucking gets.]

• Hunter/The Golden Guard (The Owl House)

• Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time/Fionna and Cake)

You'll mainly see Spamton, but I will occasionally draw other hyperfixations, or maybe my sona.

–I mainly draw! Sometimes I animate, too. I also love roleplay and writing, but I'm too shy to share that ^^;

–Ask box is always open and I love asks/comments/etc!! In fact I BEG you to give me asks /hj. You can ask me things or I can make Spamton reply instead if you'd like to know more about him. I might take a while to respond because I'm nervous ANSJSSJSJ and I take even longer if it's a request (which I don't mind! I enjoy y'all wanting to see content of my Spammy). Sometimes I may not answer your question at all if it's out of my skill level or something I legitimately cannot answer, I'm sorry!

–I have bad paranoia and anxiety online so I have a hard time reaching out to others, and I take a while to respond in conversations because I take a while to formulate something to say. I'm honestly scared for my life here LOL I constantly fear saying/doing something wrong or coming off the wrong way!! I wanna make friends/moots but I'm too scared to say hello!! I appreciate all of you, though, and I fanboy over all of your guys's wonderful art. I ramble a lot in the tags whenever I reblog things so please bear with me, I have a lot to say X]

–I tend to disappear randomly for days to weeks at a time. I lose energy and motivation online really easily, or my anxiety flares up and I get scared to do literally ANYTHING online. I get scared to reblog, to post, or even to like things?? And it's often hard for me to come back.

–DO PEOPLE CARE IF OTHERS LIKE/INTERACT WITH THEIR OLD ART?? I scroll through people's older artworks a lot just because I either like seeing the improvement or I'd like to see other posts y'all made, but I accidentally interact with them sometimes when I don't mean to, sorry if I do that– I don't mind if people spam like my art or interact with my old stuff though!

–I'm also on Instagram (same user), but I've become more active here. I love reading the tags on reblogs here they're so funny/nice and I read every single one JAKSJJSKDJS

Here are some some of the tags I use for my posts:

• [HALF-PRICED SPAMTON] ; Art I make of Spamton!

• [THIS IS 4 ME?!] ; Art people have made for me! I love you guys nasksnssjdn ;;

• [PRICE SPEAKS] ; Answers to asks!

• [PRICE RAMBLES] ; Posts without art, literally just silly little rambles!

• [COME BACK SOON] ; WIPs and unfinished projects.

Anyway that's it for now! Thank you for reading this, you're cool :]

[crystallinestars]

Hello! I stumbled upon your blog (I dunno still pretty new to tumblr despite being here for years. I don't interact much >_<) while gobbling up the Avenstelle buffet here in tumblr <3.

Anyways. I read the anons asks and your response and omygosh…I've never felt such a relief to find people who shares the same sentiments T_T. Especially the ones with Kaveh and Alhaitham? Gosh. I've never felt so validated about my feelings. Let me get started with Alhaitham.

Okay so in gacha games, (wuwa, hsr, gi, ak, r1999, etc.), I'm a husbando collector. I love collecting the men because they're hot and my eyes love them lol. So…essentially, I also pulled for Alhaitham. I loved him so much, like his personality, his design…I'm smitten. But after how I am bombarded with haikaveh shipping almost every socmed I go, twt mostly, I began to loathe it. Like, I don't really care about shipping. The shipping I only liked is Avenstelle in hsr, yet the incessant shoving of Haikaveh as canon to my face, even though they are not really canonized, just turned me off with Alhaitham, and subsequently, Kaveh as well even though I wanna love him too :(.

It makes me sad that the fandom pushes the only "correct way" to see this characters. How about us, who just wants to have some pixel husbandos for ourselves (lol sorry for the self insert). Kaveh also looks nice and he seems nice and I wanna love him too seeing as we are of the same profession (I'm an architecture student, hopefully passing our thesis and graduating next year!). I am also still on a mission of finding his mom in Fontaine rn (still waiting, hoyo, still waiting…)

Anyways, I am truly glad to see the same sentiments and knowing that I am not alone in noticing this toxicity happening in the fandom coz, what happened to platonic relationships? I dunno, but I really wanna see a heartmelting one and not a shipping one. Aaa I rambled too much haven't I? I'm nervous since this is my first asks. But I just wanna say that you made me feel safe and my heart is overjoyed. Thank you so much. <3 I'm gonna go for now because it's 12:51 am in my country and I need to sleep hahaha! Have a great day!

(Ah, may I please be 🌊 anon? Thankiees!)

Hello 🌊 anon! Thank you for working up the courage and taking the time to write to me. It made me so happy to read that my discussions with other anons made you feel safe. You are definitely not alone in feeling ostracized by the loud portion of fandom. And oh my gosh, you're an architecture student?! That's so cool! Good luck on passing your thesis!

I completely relate to your feeling of losing the love you had for a character due to their popular ship. I'm a Kaveh girlie, but I also like Alhaitham quite a lot since he's a very interesting and relatable character. Unfortunately, the prominence of haikaveh on every social media I visit, and the obnoxious claims of shippers that they're undoubtedly canon, tainted my view of him. I want to love Haitham, but some days it can be hard because seeing him triggers some negative feelings, though I try to push them down. I didn't care for the ship originally, but the behaviours of it's shippers really ruined my perception of it and BL as a whole.

It's only natural you feel that way since so much of the fandom looks down on self-shipping and gatekeeps characters from us. The way Mihoyo handles Haitham and Kaveh in particular doesn't help the situation for yumejoshi, which makes it feel worse.

The only way I find I can have fun is to block and mute all accounts who support the ships I don't like, and peacefully enjoy the content I like. Don't look at comments or the character tags for the sake of your mental health. It sucks that you have to restrict yourself so heavily, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to keep yourself happy.

If you want to find more people with similar sentiments, feel free to join my discord group! There are lots of people who share your views (and who love Alhaitham), and we also have discussions about fandom and characters, and share fanart and fics. It's a bit like a support group for those of us terrorized by the toxicity of fandom. If you don't want to join, that's perfectly fine. No pressure.

I'm glad you found me, though I'm really curious how that happened lol I don't post any Avenstelle here (though my twt is basically pure Avenstelle and Kavehlumi), so it's a wonder how you found my blog by browsing Avenstelle posts. Regardless, welcome! I'm happy to have you here 😊

[sol-shines]

@ your tags PLEASE talk abt your parker designs!!!

this is for you and @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars THANK YOU for enabling me :3 sorry this took a little bit

if you don't know what this is about i drew my takes on the parkers here !

rambles under the cut:

SO what i sorta wanted to do was make. each parker flow into the next while subtly changing in between ,,, something something losing yourself to the game, becoming unrecognizable. so let's cover it parker by parker:

prime: i personally Love the hc that the coin is parker's mom. so prime is a lil ancient roman coded guy. he's SOOOO eldest sibling coded help. like he and his mom have a very strained relationship but also he thinks that if he just does whatever she wants she'll finally be proud of him :P whoops! and yeah v explosive anger (firewalker reference!), leading to ego, leading to. You Know. anyway. oh ALSO the parkers get younger as we progress so :))) they all STARTED at 19 but have varying degrees of age. so prime is in his mid-thirties.

parker ii: AH the most elusive of the parkers. SO: in my personal lore interp, parker ii was created when prime starting to push back against the coin more and more to the point where it was becoming a problem. and prime of course is very destructive and makes a mess when he's angry. so ii came about from me going "...what if parker just. said fuck it and left. didn't give a shit about ego just didn't wanna play the game anymore and found a way out." and that's exactly what my ii did. absolutely fucking vanished and quit the game for good. somehow. which uhhh MIGHT have been what caused prime to go apeshit ("why does ii get to leave and i'm stuck here?") and end prehistory. whoops. so i wanted to make them look very vagabond-y. somehow got even edgier than prime (impressive). also they're abt 30-ish. and have crazy gender stuff going on. possibly transfem. "but how is that possible if you hc the parkers as transmasc-" shhh. i don't know <3

park3r: GOD i loved doing this one. this parker is such a bitch and i love him. the first commissioner parker, created bc "OKAY so we gotta make him more young and impressionable and less unstable AND take him out of this game bc very clearly Bad Things will happen if he stays" so they made. a chronically online teenager and made them commissioner AMDNFM. god yeah i love this design he's sooo. just a 19-year-old trying to fill an impossible role and putting on a cool face about it. tragic, yes. but they're gonna complain the whole time and make everyone else miserable too. fully believe he was just scared and out of his depth the whole trial :( oops why are parkers iii and iiii so sad. i drew him closer to mid-20s here but honestly he could easily be younger

p4rker: LOVE this guy's lore so my hc is that after the trial that killed park3r it was like "uhhhh FUCK we need a new one of those. stat." so. they just. took park3r's incin'd body (ik it's not really Canon that park3r was incin'd he just Died but. let me have this) and like. stitched it back together. so p4rker is covered in burns and stitched together like frankenstein all over, and they just threw a mask on them like "see!!! new guy!!" the result of this being they didn't have. a whole ton of time to add shit like Personality, so p4rker is the outlier in that they're very naive and even polite? they don't understand what all the fuss is about them and just wants to be. nice? shame he didn't stick around long :/ the drippy bits are a little percolation nod! in this particular drawing he's like 20 :(

pvrker is. obviously the least human. park3r was more of a prototype of a commissioner, p4rker was a temporary placeholder at best, pvrker... was well and truly made For The Game. and his appearance reflects that. kinda a combination of iii's bluntness and 4's naivety. in-universe some people think he's the most sinister or whatever bc he's so directly Controlled By ILB Shit and that's not NOT true but like. give him a break guys he's like 6 days old he's new at this :(

ANYWAY that's so long holy shit. here are my rambles i hope u like them. im So Bad at blaseball lore so someone yell at me if something i put in there isn't accurate but. yeag :)

[letters-from-dekarios]

the tortured poets department (gale’s version)

tracks one through five

summary: an analyzation of TTPD with comparisons to gale dekarios’ story and life. some generalized things are part of the version of gale i’ve made in my mind that makes sense for his character to me.

or: me rambling about the TTPD songs and how each lyric relates to gale dekarios.

word count: 3.8k

tags: taylor swift is mothering with this new album, gale dekarios, i am mystra’s hateclub ceo, most of these songs are about their breakup sorry if i reiterate things a million times, MENTIONS OF S/H & SUICIDE. DO NOT READ IF THESE THINGS TRIGGER YOU.

author’s note: this multi-part series is going to be written in a much more casual style than my traditional fanfics. if you notice me rambling or screaming for like three sentences straight, don't be alarmed, I did spell check everything!

First and foremost, I absolutely LOVE this album. Artistically and lyrically, this is one of Taylor’s most sophisticated albums. It’s a story not really about boys or love or anything (not in the same way that other albums/songs have been, at least. take ‘love story’ or ‘enchanted’ for example), but instead is about her. Yes, her songs have technically always been about her. But this album has such a different ring to it. It’s about her and her feelings and about telling her story to the world, no matter if it makes people upset. This album is so unapologetically Taylor Swift that it is simply just… beautiful. I love this album SO much.

Now… let’s get into it!

fortnight;

I see this song both from the perspective of Gale and that of Mystra thinking of Gale.

“I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic”

makes me think of Gale hiding in his tower for a whole Year after receiving the orb. He and Mystra’s relationship wasn’t the longest either had ever had, but the breaking it off still hurt more than anything he’d ever experienced.

“All of this to say I hope you're okay/But you're the reason/And no one here's to blame/But what about your quiet treason?”

THIS IS SO. Gale knows that he’s, he was at fault for some of it too. But her treason against him (leaving him to die) goes overlooked by SO many. Even Gale overlooks her misdemeanors because he feels like he is ALSO at fault, and STILL wishes her the best despite it all.

“And for a fortnight there, we were forever/Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather/Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors/Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her”

Metaphorically, they were together for a “fortnight”. They weren’t together for a Long time romantically, so their relationship wasn’t a long one. But now every time he uses the Weave or connects with her it’s like everything has changed and he has to play nice for fear of losing whatever friendship they had. And I’m sure some part of Gale is angry at Elminster for still being her Chosen and still having her affection (‘your wife waters flowers’).

“All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February/I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary”

Even though February is the shortest month, I personally interpret the analogy like ‘this was short, but it feels longer’ and with ‘all my mornings are Mondays’ it’s like starting over time and time again but always ending up at the start. With Gale, even though their time together was futile, he’s still stuck on it. No matter how hard he tries, the effects of Mystra’s romantic loss on him is Hard. His mind always wraps back around to it.

“I love you, it’s ruining my life”

Gale still talked about Mystra and was willing to give up his life for her. He would’ve done Anything for her.

“Thought of calling you, but you won’t pick up”

Gale still tries to reach out to her even though he Knows she won’t listen to him. Even though he Knows she wants nothing to do with him right now, he still tries to reach her.

“Move to Florida, buy the car you want/buy it won’t start till I touch, touch, touch you”

He can move on and try to escape it all but no matter what he does, Mystra is Always There. She always will be. Because without her and her power, he has nothing. And it messes with him Terribly.

the tortured poets department;

“You’re in self-sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down on the road”

Mystra KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. How could she not?? How could she not know the magic he was using and not see what he was trying to do for her? He was destroying their relationship long before the tome and she had the Audacity to not say anything about it.

However, on Gale’s end, “But I've seen this episode and still loved the show”

LITERALLY KARSUS’ FOLLY. Gale was so aware of what Karsus had done and knew of his mistakes and sought to not be like him… yet he did something similar because he thought that the rest of the ‘show’ or relationship in this case could be different and wouldn’t affect the rest of it.

BUT, then, “And who's gonna hold you like me?/And who's gonna know you, if not me?”

Mystra knows he can try to move on, but she will always be there at the forefront of his mind. He can attempt to escape, but she is Always There.

“"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith/This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots"”

I take this lyric as something Mystra says in a way to Gale. Kind of how she tells him to “be contented” (yes I reference this line a lot). Mystra tries to tell him that their love is not the grandest and not legendary. It is going to end. While she doesn’t refer to herself as an idiot, I feel the line can be taken as she sees the love itself as idiotic. She’s had so many lovers that this with Gale is just.. pointless, in a sense? She never had any intention of furthering his magic any more than it had been, so his idea with her is stupid.

“But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head/But I’ve read this one before, where you come undone”

She’s had So Many Chosen and even had someone try and literally usurp her power before. She knew what she was doing with him, even if Gale had no clue what was going to happen.

“Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me/But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave/And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen/Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be”

GALE IS INSECURE. MYSTRA TELLS HIM TO BE CONTENT AND HE TRIES TO!!!! He really Really tries to but cannot bring himself to. People who still just see him as her Chosen find little to no issue because they think he’s this great, grand, all-powerful wizard so it makes Sense.

“At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger/And put it on the one people put wedding rings on/And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding”

MYSTRA. She tells him to be contented even when he’s begging for more and wants to know her more intimately and instead of squashing the idea he had of becoming something greater with her, she just lets him SIT WITH THE IDEA. KNOWING FULL WELL WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE AND WHAT HE WANTED TO DO. This song is so Mystra saying that Gale will never find anything greater than her and Gale’s heartbreak and realization over that fact.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys;

“Oh, here we go again/The voices in his head/Called the rain to end our days of wild”

I take this as Mystra seeing Gale and knowing that she was going to start something with him. After all, she had to know of his magic usage even as a small child up until she was back and fully alive again. In my headcanons/ideas she was appearing to him perhaps not with full strength but still showing herself even when he was 16/17. She also would’ve known the ideas in his head of growing more powerful and trying to love her with every part of himself.

“The sickest army doll/Purchased at the mall/Rivulets descend my plastic smile”

Mystra chose him much like one chooses a doll they purchase. She used him and abused him, and forced him to carry his fake plastic smile even when he had tears streaming down his face when she left him.

“But you should’ve seen him when he first got me”

GALES UTTER HAPPINESS OVER BEING CHOSEN BY MYSTRA? He had been practicing since he was a child. Mystra was his absolute everything!!

“My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh/I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh”

AHHH. No matter how hard Gale could’ve and was trying, he crumbled the relationship in his hands. He didn’t mean to, but it happened regardless. Also, ‘queen of sandcastles he destroys’ THINKING that he was standing on stable ground with Mystra, before realizing that it was easy to ruin and never stable to begin with. At the same time, though, Mystra thinking that she had Gale exactly where she wanted him and then realizing that he was going down a path she wouldn’t support. But instead of helping him rebuild she just let him sit with his destruction.

“There was a litany of reasons why/We could've playеd for keeps this time”

both with Mystra and Gale, either of them could’ve fought to maintain the relationship. But Gale was the only one who actually… did.

“I know I'm just repeating mysеlf/Put me back on my shelf/But first, pull the string/And I'll tell you that he runs/Because he loves me (He loves me)”

Gale constantly says the same thing over and over about Mystra and their relationship. He has hope! But he knows she’s going to ‘put [him] back on [her] shelf’ and no longer play with him. She/Tav pulls his string (like Woody/Jessie, pulling their string makes them say their pre-recorded phrases) and he just repeats the idea that he can gain her forgiveness again and that she can love him again. I also relate the ‘repeating myself’ and ‘pull the string’ to one another, too. No matter how many times you pull the string, the doll just repeats the same phrases over and over again. In this case, we know Gale can and does change his tune if you let him, but if he doesn’t and he explodes he keeps the same exact idea for the rest of the game.

“Once I fix me/He's gonna miss me”

crying because Gale consistently thinks that if he does everything Mystra asks that she will forgive him and things can go back to how they were.

“Just say when, I'd play again/He was my best friend down at the sandlot/I felt more when we played pretend/Than with all the Kens/'Cause he took me out of my box”

In a heartbeat, Gale would go back to Mystra and return to their dysfunction. Their relationship was like ‘playing pretend’ and when brought back to reality it was much harsher. He felt more because it was so unrealistic and not expected to last, much like how when you made up stories playing pretend, you would start new ones over and over again. She ‘took [him] out of [his] box’ only to ‘put [him] back on [his] shelf’ but the idea that he was wanted was what made it worth it.

“Stole my tortured heart/Left all these broken parts/Told me I'm better off/But I'm not/I'm not, I'm not”

this is a prevalent theme in all of the album, being ‘stolen’ or ‘taken’ and then being ‘broken’ or ruined, before being casted aside for the idea of being ‘better off’. Gale thinks he’s not better off and would prefer being taken and toyed with, but in reality it’s more beneficial to him. It’s the process of it that hurts.

down bad;

I cannot even begin to comprehend this one. In Taylor’s explanation of this song she states that the metaphor for love-bombing is of an alien taking someone and showing them the galaxy and then sending them home when they really liked it there. And that is just. UGH.

“Did you really beam me up/In a cloud of sparkling dust/Just to do experiments on?/Tell me I was the chosen one/Showed me that this world is bigger than us/Then sent me back where I came from”

THIS. “Tell me i was the chosen one” She did!!! She literally picked Gale as her chosen and then told him to “be contented” as if he wouldn’t be striving for more. She gave him a small slice of godhood and expected him to not want more?

“Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym/Everything comes out teenage petulance/"Fuck it if I can't have him"/"I might just die, it would make no difference"”

Gale locked himself in his tower for a whole Year, nearly dying because he was so depressed over everything. Yes, he also nearly died because of the orb, BUT he mostly locked himself away because of his mourning the relationship.

“Down bad, wakin' up in blood/Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up/Fuck it if I can't have us/I might just not get up, I might stay”

Had Tara not been there, I do not think Gale would’ve lived. 100% he would’ve died after that first year because he refused to get out of bed. He just wanted Mystra and to have the Weave and without that he was willing to die.

“Did you take all my old clothes/Just to leave me here, naked and alone/In a field in my same old town/That somehow seems so hollow now?/They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about/The existence of you”

THIS??? She took away his abilities (his old self) and left him with, essentially, nothing. And then expected him to just be in Waterdeep and be fine? And then when he’s abducted, if you don’t romance him and/or have him explode for you, he LITERALLY gets called crazy for talking about Mystra. Literally. I’m 90% sure you can tell him to shut up when he tells you the truth about the orb.

“I loved your hostile takeovers/Encounters closer and closer/All your indecent exposures/How dare you say that it's—“

AUGH. Whenever Gale talks about Mystra and how she appeared to him, no matter how much she’s hurt him, he still loves her? He still reminisces on those moments with love and adoration for her despite all the pain that came with it. Everything they did he loved, and her tossing him aside Hurt. Also the sadness in her voice as she says “how dare you say it’s—“ because she ALMOST says ‘over’ but it’s choked back because if she says it she’ll start crying. The same with Gale. He knows in his heart that it’s over but this part of him can’t handle the fact that it is and that Mystra would end it like that.

“I'll build you a fort on some planet/Where they can all understand it/How dare you think it's romantic/Leaving me safe and stranded/'Cause fuck it, I was in love/So fuck you if I can't have us/'Cause fuck it, I was in love”

Gale was SO ready to explore more with Mystra and have her in her entirety. Was it a bit selfish trying to be a god to do that? Yes. BUT she literally left him completely alone after having the orb!! He wanted so much with her and wanted to be able to expand his abilities to match her and instead she tossed him aside like she was “helping” him but really she was destroying him. He was so in love with her (and, yes, the weave too) that he would’ve done everything. Then as the game goes on you can see his progression to understanding how she hurt him and how he’s allowed to be angry about it.

so long, london;

this is one of my FAVORITE songs on this album. the intro is so beautiful and so haunting. this song also makes me SO sad.

“I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist/I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away”

UGH OKAY. Metaphorically, the fairy lights were like that light at the end of the tunnel. But the mist blocks them out, making it hard to tell if there really is this fantasy-like future ahead or if it’s your mind playing tricks on you. With Gale, he wanted so desperately to have a happy ending. And yes, he does eventually get it depending on how you play, but when it comes to Mystra and everything, he really… doesn’t? He tries so hard to carry the ‘rift’ or the breaking of their foundation. Every time Mystra pulls away from him, he tries to pull her close and hold onto that fantasy he thinks he’s going to have.

“My spine split from carrying us up the hill/Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill/I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe”

CARRYING US UP THE HILL? SISYPHUS (‘thanK you aIMee’ also has a similar lyric that makes me think of sisyphus as well but that will be saved for that song). Punished to forever push that stone up the hill with no end, never being free from the weight. Not only is she trying to push and carry this weight up, she also is soaked and her bones are tired. She has so much on her own plate that trying to keep up this relationship and keep it going is only making everything else worse. In the same sense, Gale kept trying to keep this dying relationship going. Rather than it being easy, everything just kept piling on top of one another and pulling him down more and more. Eventually, he let’s go of it and stops trying to win her over. He stops trying to ‘drill the safe’, or, stops trying to get something that was never his to begin with. Something that is locked away for a reason.

“Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had/Did you think I had in me?"/Oh, the tragedy/So long, London/You'll find someone”

MYSTRA THINKING HE COULD HANDLE IT ALL? And then just leaving him. Leaving him to deal with it all on his own. The ‘so long, London’ to me is both Gale saying goodbye to the Weave AND Waterdeep. Obviously he returns to Waterdeep (if he doesn’t explode) but it’s not the same as how he went in. He’s much different when he returns. Also, he knows Mystra will find someone else. He has no worries about that. In the same sense, Mystra knows Gale will find someone else too. Even if he’s still holding onto parts of her.

“I didn't opt in to be your odd man out/I founded the club she's heard great things about/I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath”

Gale went into it thinking he would have her forever. At least, his concept of forever. He didn’t want Mystra or the Weave if it meant that, one day, he might be closed out from it all. He left everything behind for her, and yet she left him behind in his tower to rot.

“I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use/The spirit was gone, we would never come to”

He tried so, so incredibly hard to bring the relationship back to life. But, eventually, he had to give up and realize that help wasn’t coming, it was long gone, and he had to let go. “And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” THIS LYRIC ALONE. And the way Taylor says ‘free’ with the shake in her voice… This is. I feel like, deep down, Gale is genuinely hurt and angry with Mystra for all she did. And not just her, Elminster, too. If someone would’ve realized what was going on, he could’ve been saved. But, instead, he dedicated all his youth, his time, his energy, all to her. All to the Weave. Only for it to mean nothing in the end.

“And you say I abandoned the ship/But I was going down with it/My white-knuckle dying grip/Holding tight to your quiet resentment”

THIS?? Mystra saying that Gale was trying to usurp her authority or take over her magic when in reality all he wanted was to love her? Her accusing him of essentially trying to kill her when really he just wanted to be closer to her. He literally was willing to do anything for her, even after she hurt him he was willing to die for her. He tried holding on so so hard, that ‘white knuckle dying grip’ showing how tightly he was gripping onto this relationship. For better or for worse he was willing to drown if it meant he still had a piece of that relationship.

“And my friends said it isn't right to be scared/Every day of a love affair/Every breath feels like rarest air/When you're not sure if he wants to be there”

UGGHHHHH. Tav telling Gale pretty much that he doesn’t have to do this? He doesn’t have to hold onto Mystra and follow her every beck and call and he has to realize that. Every day Mystra finds someone else or focuses her attention on another Chosen, he’s so scared he’s going to lose her forever. Every moment she doesn’t speak to him or ignores him, he fears he’s going to have everything taken away from him. UGHHH.

“You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?/I died on the altar waitin' for the proof/You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”

THIS. LYRIC. TOO. Mystra promised him that she loved him, that she was essentially as devoted to him, but every moment Gale spent waiting for her to prove that, to show the same amount of love that he held for her, she failed him. She left him at the altar alone with all his hopes and dreams. She sacrificed him, or wanted him to sacrifice himself, really, for her. So she could keep going and not have to deal with him anymore.

“And I'm just getting color back into my face/I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for”

GALE FINALLY BEING ABLE TO BE HIMSELF AGAIN!! When he realizes he can trust Tav and doesn’t need to hide these parts of himself.. and then he tells them his secrets and he apologizes for keeping them but he was so wounded from his last relationship that he doesn’t know what to do. Then he gets color back into his face and he’s finally able to heal from it all. And he’s so mad because he loved the Weave and he loved being so talented with it but it’s all in the past and it’s all lost to him now. Even though he still has it but.. you get the picture. UGHH THIS SONG. THIS SONG!!

If you made it this far, thank you for sticking along! My mind works in weird ways when it comes to analyzing/reviewing lyrics. I tend to take things very literally so some of my interpretations are viewed that way!

Either way, I hope you enjoyed. Be on the lookout for tracks six through ten next!

[fuck-your-proana-blog]

Hello, same anon here as the previous anon, god, thank you so much, I am so screenshotting your reply. I already try my best not to end up on ana tags, it's a last resort, but every other day my mental health gets so bad I just need something, anything to distract myself and I don't have close friends I could vent to, and that's the only other thing I can think of. Plus at least sweetspos are nice and understanding, and I don't usually,,,get that from anyone, so yeah. I am already supposed to get some sort of social anxiety treatment, but they're extremely inefficient and slow with it. And they just shrugged when I told them I wanna kms. I thought I'll just throw whatever destructive coping mechanism at that, and when I no longer wanna die, I'll fix them, but now my hair is starting to fall out (I think. Unsure though.) and I am not better at all. And two people I used to be close friends with had restrictive EDs, and I guess this is my way of feeling close to them. And I'm turning 18 later this year, and that feels scary as fuck, and I thought if I lose stupid amounts of weight I can at least look childish. Okay, sorry, at this point I am just rambling, but I've been keeping this to myself for what feels like ages. Anyways. Thank you again for your reply so sosososo so much. It helped a lot.

I'm glad my response helped and I'm proud of you for working towards health. I distracted myself from my abusive childhood experiences (C-PTSD stuff) with weight loss too, and it quickly spiraled into anorexia- and it did the absolute opposite of making me not want to die, so don't convince yourself and ED will improve your life, it never will. I felt like I "deserved" to suffer, that somehow if I suffered enough it would make right what was broken in me. If I could just be "thin enough" it would fix all my problems, so I used behaviors and buried myself in my ED to avoid dealing with the real problems in my life. From what you've said it seems like you're doing the same, so please get help. I don't have any friends either so I come onto Tumblr to vent and find support as well. I know weaning yourself off of harmful tags is difficult, that it feels like a proper distraction from your other suffering, but it will not help. Please believe me, I've been battling these demons for almost 14 years- almost as long as you've been alive- and all it did was waste my life and make me mentally disabled and even more withdrawn from the world- as well as give me countless health problems I will never recover from. I may be in recovery, but my body will never fully recover from the hell anorexia put it through. I lost hair, have multiple damaged organs that require meds and outpatient care frequently, severe GI issues, I almost lost my teeth, needed multiple surgeries, developed osteopenia and had to do PT over and over as I continuously damaged my body with over exercising and starvation. It may feel like a "good" distraction now, but it's not. It will ruin your life more than it already has if you don't get help. I know growing up is hard, but it will only be harder with an ED. Sweeatspos are NOT "nice and understanding," they are another trap for you to fall into created by disgusting pro ana blogs to convince you your life will somehow get better if you get sicker. It won't. Anorexia ruined my life, my body, everything I had. I am just starting to get my life back in my late 30s. You're young; your mind and body can still fully recover if you make the necessary changes now- don't end up like me. Please, get help. I know what it's like to feel like no one cares, especially when you're suicidal, because I've been there. I just got out of the hospital after an attempt in November actually, and as soon as I attempted I got help and went to the hospital because I realized I didn't want to die- I just wanted the pain to stop, and I get the feeling that you're in the same boat. So really harp on your healthcare team about medication, therapy, anything you need to get better. If you feel you'd be safer in a hospital, GO. I've been hospitalized over and over throughout my life when I was most in danger from myself and even if it doesn't "fix" you it will get you more urgent physical and psychiatric attention by a medical team that will take you seriously and keep you safe. Don't wait until you can't fully recover like I did. Get help now, let them all know you're in real danger- it can bring discomfort to truly let people know how badly you're suffering, but you won't regret it. After all my time suffering I finally "came out" about my ED when I was hospitalized the last time to my close family and have only received support and love from doing so. I don't know if that will be your experience as I don't know any about your family, but I know having people irl who know my story has helped me cope, and if you can share your story with those who love you they could help you and support you in regaining your mental and physical health as well.

Your future doesn't have to be full of starving and pain- but you do have to choose, every day, to get better so it won't be!

[grishaverse-chaos]

as promised, here is:

grishaverse ships as taylor swift songs!!

malina - im only me when im with you

THE childhood friends to lovers song!!

just a small town boy and girl! living in a crazy world! trying to figure out what is and isn't true!!

and I'm only me when I'm with you!!!

don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground!!

it's SO malina

darkl!na - dear john (censoring the ship name so it doesn't show up in tags!)

sksadgshdh I had to

on a serious note it does fit very very well

don't you think I was too young to be played by your dark twisted games!! regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can!!

you'll add my name to your long list of traitors!!!! the darkl!ng literally DID add her name to a list of traitors sjdhshdgjdhd

genyadavid - paper rings <3

it's just..... so cute and soft, I love it sm

and you know something? david DOES like shiny things and he WOULD marry her with paper rings!!

nikolina - getaway car

taylor literally wrote this song for nikolina, I take no criticism

you were driving the getaway car!! we were flying but we'd never get far!! should've known I'd be the first to leave!!

no but they LITERALLY met in a getaway car. they were LITERALLY flying. but they didn't get far.

I'm sorry I will never shut up about this ever

ANYWAY!!

kanej - renegade

that one scene in soc where inej goes "I will have you without armour or I will not have you at all"

it's literally just GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SO I CAN LOVE YOU!

there was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway!! you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody!!!

GOD the accuracy of this is killing me.

I can't lie I could write a whole essay on every line of this song and how perfectly it fits kanej.....

you fire off missiles cause you hate yourself but don't you know you're demolishing me!! let all your damage damage me!!

wesper - enchanted

idk how to explain this one it's just the Vibes

walls of insincerity.... playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks

just the whole thing where they first meet reminds me SO MUCH of enchanted I can't even

helnik - miss americana and the heartbreak prince

.....yet another that I could write a whole fucking essay on

nina IS miss americana!!

my team is losing! battered and bruising!

boys will be boys then, where are the wise men!

IT'S YOU AND ME THAT'S MY WHOLE WORLD, THEY WHISPER IN THE HALLWAY SHE'S A BAD BAD GIRL

and I'll never let you go!! cause I know this is a fight! that someday were gonna win!!!

zoyalai - peace

tbh I considered ciwyw as well but in the end I think this is ALSO such a zoyalai song I couldn't not pick it

honestly I can see this being from either perspective.... neither of them can give the other peace! and that's what they love about each other!!

I can't even choose any lyrics to highlight, just the whole song

actually wait that was a lie.

okay so think about zoya believing nikolai is too good for her. now think about "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall... it's like I'm wasting your honour....."

SIT WITH YOU IN THE TRENCHES!!!

the chorus.... I can't imagine it any other way than nikolai singing it to zoya tbh. I'll keep your brittle heart warm?? I would die for you in secret??

but you got a friend in me = as my general. as my friend. as my bride.

this is probably incoherent but OH WELL

tamadia - invisible string

again I cannot explain it's just the Vibes

isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

it's so CUTE and I love it

also "cold was the steel of my axe"

because tamar and axes.

anyway! that's it!! this definitely got super incoherent and rambling towards the end but I hope y'all enjoyed it :D

[daz4i]

T U B R & Z :) for the Ask Question :)

hi hi hi sorry for the late reply, and thank you for the ask!!! ^o^

answered t here!

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

bsd: gonna shock everyone i know..... nikolai :) his vibes are just impeccable. i love his whole view of life and what he does in hopes to achieve his impossible goal. i love that he's crazy cuuhraaaayyzeeee asylum but also is he. keeping us on our toes. and most importantly he is FUN every time he's around you can't help but have a good time even tho he's like, gruesomely murdering someone (i mean for me it's also part of the fun but eh)

fire emblem: ferdinand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is just. ough. he is so dear to me. he fills my heart with joy and warmth i can't explain it. he has such a good and lovely arc and despite suffering and losing so much he remains positive through it all and tries his best to help others. and he's also just! very fun! like with nikolai every time he's on screen is just enjoyable, usually p funny, or very touching :')

persona: akechi. he makes me insane. esp in royal he's a very well written and interesting character imo, his motivations are illogical in a logical way (as in. they're illogical but you can perfectly understand why), he is so so tragic. and once again like the last 2, he is just so so fun, esp in third sem where he lets loose and becomes more violent and vulgar and sassy :)

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

tbh i wasn't sold on fyolai at first (which is probably shocking to those who haven't followed me when i first got into bsd lol) but creantzy's art convinced me of it ngl :P also the anthology art bc i mean. yeah

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

dazai and atsushi........ hits me very deep in my soul........... it's so dear to me it means so much to me............ i can't even put it in words bc it simply makes me overflow with too much emotion at once

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

ig when it comes to fandoms. one big pet peeve i have is the amount of negativity ppl have around the source material?

criticism is valid and understandable and no media is free of it, but some people really spend almost all their time in a certain fandom doing nothing but hating it and its creator (biggest example is the bnha fandom is 2017ish. i swear most posts i saw abt it were hate posts from people who were still following the manga religiously)

not to mention the version of this that's like ignoring canon completely and making up new personalities for the characters in an attempt to make them non-problematic and such. pls just make ocs

like at some point i can't help but wonder why they're still reading it?? please move on to different things? if not for your own well being then for other fans bc i don't wanna see your negativity when i'm trying to be excited over smth i like 😭

(also true abt ppl who hate a character/ship and spend more time talking abt how much they hate it than talking abt the ones they do like, or worse, leaving mean comments on posts/fics made by ppl who do like it. yes that includes "problematic" ships or characters. complaining here and there is chill ofc but you gotta move on at some pointtttttt just block the tags or ppl who post a lot of it come on)

but fr it's mostly for you. esp if you're someone who doesn't have a lot of free time, why are you spending so much of it on something you're not even enjoying? i just don't get it 😔 you shouldn't take sunk cost fallacy into account when it comes to your joy i think

[caelumsnuff]

Hi, I was the anon that wrote in after Part Two of the Caelum Corruption Arc and talked about how it sucks people won’t just leave you be.

I am here, again, hating how fucking much the same people persist and admiring and how you persist in sharing your opinion and your voice in spite of it. I can’t imagine how discouraging the trash you must have in your inbox must be and how disheartening it is to have rampaging opponents in your replies when they should have just blocked you if they didn’t like you.

I just wanted to let you know, again, that I think your thoughts and art are well-spoken and eloquent and fantastic and perfectly within your godgiven right to create even if they’re not all for me. I hope you continue to do so, and I hope people stop shading you in the main tag and being mean in your inbox anonymously when you do, cause you’re kind of fuckin cool.

Even if you weren’t cool, that’d still be an abhorrent way to treat you when you mostly just mind your business.

I hope you have a good, nice, peaceful day.

-Lexi (AutisticEmpathyDaemon)

sorry if I didn’t send it through anon it would have sent through my main and that whole system irritates me so that’s why I did it this way I hope that’s okay also sorry if this is rambling and incoherent I got flustered

@autisticempathydaemon

Hewwo, this was so so so incredibly sweet that it actually made me cry a lil bit last night. Thank you so very much for the kind message, i appreciate it so much.

It meant so much to hear you say you admire my persistent, every time i get a compliment like that or someone tells me they admire me it really makes my heart just swell with warmth. I tried very hard over the years to cultivate my assertiveness and persistent, and i absolutely refuse to lose all that work now by backing down because some (lets be honest, most 💀) people in this fandom disagree with me or don't like me or whatever. I can only hope that it emboldens others in this fandom to keep honestly speaking their minds.

To be quite honest, i haven't gotten a lot of anon hate or other such trash in my inbox. My anons are generally so amazing asdfasd, but that's one reason this latest resurgence of the Caelum drama really got to me. Random proship/profiction redacted fandom goers were getting disgusting messages in their inbox without even shipping him with people, whilst I, a Caelum shipper, sat in the corner unbothered. Not to sound savior-y or anything, but i really would have preferred if i got the messages instead of you guys. I saw what they were sending to you guys, and im deeply sorry you had to read them, much less entertain them with responses.

Thank you for calling my responses and art and whatnot "well-spoken and eloquent and fantastic," it honestly makes me wanna cry??? Long long story about why it means so much to me, but it makes me very happy to know im articulating myself efficiently.

Also you think im cool????

I hope you have a good day as well! Thank you so much again! ❤️

[rocksanddeadflowers]

First of all!!!! I never considered Brian's hair rusting into that bright green shade and that idea alone made my day bc I cosplayed Brian a couple times with like. My super bright green hair that I curled. So idk this just makes that so much cooler to me. Anyway. Also I prefer copper hair Brian but I remember this one post about his hair growing while he's hung from the gallows into like. Rapunzel long hair and I'm a little obsessed with that idea even if I don't want to apply it here. Also, I can't help but picture Galahad spending his evenings sat beside/beneath The Hanged Man, trying for conversation as he weaves his rosary and whatnot. So Brian is mostly aware of what he's doing, but it kinda falls in this weird gray area for Brian's morality that he can't really oppose? And even if Galahad is a little... Odd, the company is nice nonetheless.

And yes!!! I wanna try making those so badly (i actually want to try doing it from this one tree in my yard that i adore but that's a whole other rant lol). While the rosaries probably differ, considering the whole outer space thing with no specific time era set, there's no limits! Well, except for whatever information Galahad himself has, like if he has the knowledge on how to make the beads. Which in theory he does. I have no defense for this, but there's probably no canon way to refute it either. Probably. But in any case, I think have the different beads would still be important to him, so yes! Exactly! Love this. Also the image of Galahad carving at a tire which that same passionate hyperfixation as an artist getting sucked into their craft (that's me projecting) is hilarious I love it.

And ugh!!!! The thing in your tags about Brian having a little rose plant in his chest- !!!!!! Just. Firstly, in theory, he could have more of a terrarium system in there, like a self-sustaining ecosystem, but some plants thrive like that better than others so I'm uncertain if there's any roses that can withstand that. Either way I'm thinking about it somehow having grown there on it's own after he was hung. Idk how it would happen but imagine that tiny ecosystem blooming within this still shell of a man for decades or more while he hung there. The mycelium spreading through his joints as he takes in water from around him to purposely keep it alive, because it's the only consistent company he's ever had here in Camelot. Roses can live a long time, longer than people, when properly cared for (or just. You know. Not abused for aesthetic purposes). People come and go, leave him purposely or die indirectly. But that rose bush? It's been with him the whole time. And it probably burnt away when he fell into the sun, which the rose's end was inevitable, he knew, but it was still a shame to truly face isolation within the neverending heat.

Oops. Sorry. I rambled about that more than intended. But anyway the idea of Galahad bringing up make a rosary and Brian clicked and shifting gears that haven't shuddered to life in decades (possibly centuries?) to open his chest and offer the roses within ("Take all you wish or nee, just be gentle, don't hurt the plant. It's my friend.") I mean. I'm going absolutely feral and I know Galahad would lose his flipping mind.

please consider: Galahad always carrying around rosary beads/prayer beads that carry the image of Merlin, The Hanged Man in the style of a saint or of a crucifix. Also he handmade the entire thing of beads btw.

[mangokittokatsu]

Hold Me In Your Arms

R my beloved! Our baby Cora getting some much needed comfort, she deserves the world and I adored writing this 🥹 @cradled-r

Cora Vasquez x Reader

WC: 1.3k

Tags: referenced drugging/attempted murder, mild panic attacks, hurt/comfort, fluff

You wake up to rapid knocking on your door, startling you out of your light slumber on the couch, another episode of Kitchen Nightmares playing at a low volume on the TV, autoplaying as you slept. Picking up your phone and seeing the time stare back at you, furrowing your brows together in confusion as the knocking starts back up again. Mumbling to yourself and groaning as you haul yourself off the couch, "I don't know who's waking me up at 2 in the morning but they better have a damn good re-" you cut yourself off as you pull your front door open, blinking in surprise and confusion to reveal your best friend pacing on your doorstep, "Cora? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon?"

She whips around to look at you, mouth opening and closing, trying to compose her words before the seasoned detective takes a breath and starts rambling, her pacing starting up once again as she does, "Sorry I know tonight's usually your 'sit on the couch drinking wine yelling at reality tv' night and I should be on my honeymoon but-" she stutters over a shaky inhale, "Warren drugged me and tried to kill me before Tony stopped him and I was at TJ's but he went to bed and then I couldn't sleep so I left but I didn't want to be alone and you're the only other person I have and I don't know why I'm here I'm sorry I'm probably bothe-"

"Cora!" You cut her off finally, seeing her breathing pick up with each passing word, "Warren what?" You stared at her in shock and a brief thought of 'oh my god I almost lost her' crosses through your mind, anger creeping through you in waves before her words fully process as you take in her form. She’s almost curled in on herself in vulnerability and she keeps glancing over her shoulder, startling at the noises that come from the street behind her in such an uncharacteristic way before you finally pull her inside and shut the door behind you. You guide her over to the couch and turn on the lamp on the side table, sitting her down and looking her over, hands never leaving her arms as you feel her tremble under your touch. Slowly sitting down next to her and pressing a hand to her chest and guiding one of hers to mirror the placement on your chest, "easy sweetheart, breathe with me, c'mon", you take steady, exaggerated breaths, feeling the tension and anger bleed out of your own body as you hear her ragged, rapid breathing start to even out and her shoulders slowly lose the rigid line they've formed in her anxiety.

She eventually lifts her head to make eye contact with you, her eyes shining with unshed tears before she throws herself forward into your arms as you startle slightly at the sudden uncharacteristic attack of affection when she wraps herself around you and lets out a sob into your neck, "I'm so stupid!" she cries out against your skin. You bring your arms up to wrap around her, grabbing your discarded blanket off the back of the couch in the process and squeezing her tightly as you speak quietly into her ear, "no you aren't darling, he fooled everyone, we all just assumed TJ was being, well, TJ. Warren is the one who's stupid for thinking he'd be able to get away with doing anything to the strongest person I know." She sniffles against your skin at that, "you mean that?" Your heart hurts at how your usually confident best friend sounds so unsure of herself, you know there was nothing she could have truly done to prevent, well, whatever it was that happened. You firmly stroke her back in a soothing motion as you let out a soft sigh, "of course I mean that Cora. Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?” You’re met with silence and a slight shake of her head so you continue, “Or, I can go grab another wine glass, or something stronger, and we can sit here, yell at the TV together, and I can give TJ some... Choice words later to get the details out of him if you'd rather not relive the events so soon." That earns you a wet laugh against your skin, the hot moisture of her breath mixing with the wetness left behind by her tears before she pulls away so you can see her face. her eyes still glistening and nose red as she sniffles and wipes at it, "I don't entirely trust you to not kill him since he obviously told you nothing, but I also just-" she chews on her lip and averts her gaze down, struggling to get the words out. You bring a hand up to rest on her cheek, face etched with gentle concern as you wait.

"Just what, Cora?"

"I just want to be held, please. I don't want my last memory of feeling safe while being held to be with him. I need to feel safe. You make me feel safe."

You feel your heart flutter at the declaration as she flicks her eyes back up to you, a small smile now quirking up the corners of her lips, "besides, I do want to see you yell at Caruso because he should've known better than to not think to update you at all." You know she’s trying to deflect with humor, some of her walls that you had broken down put back up involuntarily as a defense mechanism, an old habit of hers. Knowing her as long as you had, that if you pushed she’d shut down, you let it slide for now as you both let out a giggle at that, just sitting in each other's arms for a moment before she gently nudges you, "Now, I think you mentioned something about yelling at the tv with wine and something stronger? You still have that tequila I gave you for Christmas?"

"Of course I do, I only drink it with you, no one else is allowed to touch it"

"Gettin sentimental over some tequila now are we?"

"Shut up," you roll your eyes at her teasing with a smile before untangling yourself from her as you get up to retrieve another wine glass along with a few larger glasses for the tequila and the random bottle of mixer you had stashed in your fridge. You return to the couch and pour roughly two shots into each glass, pouring the mixer overtop before settling back onto the couch next to her, gathering her up in your arms again after handing her glass to her and turning up the volume on the tv. You give her the rundown on the episode so she knows what’s happening, the two of you yelling at restaurant owners like you know what you’re talking about, bantering with each other without a second thought. You feel her relax into your embrace over the course of the episode and it just felt... right, having her in your arms like this despite the circumstances that led to it. You grab her now empty glass out of her loose grip and carefully lean over to set it on the table next to your own empty one before settling back down and giving her a small squeeze, slightly burying your nose into her hair and breathing in the sweet scent of her hibiscus shampoo and conditioner, feeling your own anxieties at the situation melt away as you have her safe in your arms.

It wasn't the right time to bring it up of course, but maybe almost losing her would give you the confidence to tell her how you feel. How you have felt for months now, about how your feelings of friendship for your closest confidant had grown into something more, something you wanted to share with her and feel forever. But for now you were more than happy to sit here, feeling her chest rise and fall with each breath. All her anxieties flowing out of her as she finally feels exhaustion take over, a mumbled "thank you" flows past her lips as she drifts off to sleep against you, a slight smile lingering on her face even while she rests, feeling safe at last.

[outlier-roddy]

Hiiiiii I just finished MTMTE and LL for the first time ever and I just have to say- Tysm for posting really nice Megarod précis because man some people are WEIRD about it online and yet I DONT GET IT bc like. In canon (of these two stories in the comics) there’s so much to say about how like… they genuinely make each other better people and also how like. In the bad ending or whatever ya call it, Rodimus was like utterly broken without him (AND everyone else and the freedom sure but like. The narrative framing suggests losing Megatron hit him hardest. I could elaborate but I’m sure you know what I’m saying here). Anyway! Once again I wanna scream about it some more but I’ll just say: Cap off to you… ! [Also sorry for the spam in your tag 🫠]

Spam like/reblog never bothers me! I'm glad people can find my rambling entertaining/useful lol. And congratulations on finishing the series, how did you find it?

And in regards to megarod - Yeah I will always stand by my opinion that this relationship is so much more interesting than a lot of people give it credit for. It was the ship that kind of survived on vibes and spite for me for a little while, and then I decided to put some real effort into it and what I would get out of it if that makes sense? I also really really enjoy character/relationship analyzation, was already obsessed with rodimus so I might as well lol .

I understand why some people don't like it, but I respectfully argue that much of the things they dislike about the relationship May be mostly fandom shit. I won't die on a hill for it but I won't let anyone make me feel ashamed for liking it if that makes sense

[bellflower-goat]

𓆉 𓆟 𓇼 𓆞 𓂂 𓆝 𓂂 𓆡 𓂂 𓆝 𓆟 𓂂 𓆟 𓇼 𓆞

Hi there! Im bellflower-goat and welcome to my blog :]

They/them or He/him

Icon by floating_vibes on twitter https://picrew.me/image_maker/1629476

I draw and make some other stuff! I just don't really know how to organize things so it's kinda hard to find, but im working on it! (lie)

Also, drawing requests are always open :]

Some tags I use are

#:o!! and #:o!!!!!!! For stuff I like a lot,

#cap look away for stuff like sea critters n trypophobia

#goat's doodles for my drawings (not all of em are there yet)

#cajón de tiliches for random stuff I don't wanna lose

And a whole lot more but that's the basics I think

I dont tag it at all but if ya see any of these bad boys:

:] <:] :[ :D :c D: :l <:l >:l

Then it's probably me rambling abt something

Everything here is okay to interact with (by that I mean like, commenting, liking or rbing) unless I say otherwise in the tags or something

Also if I find a cool blog I usually like n rb spam so sorry if ya dont like that feel free to block me or something but soft blocks don't really work cause I'm not very bright n I will follow ya back so yeah

Terfs, exclusionists n bitches who come here to start problems can fuck right off, I block liberally and won't waste my time w/ anyone who sees me as inherently lesser or something like that

If ya need anything to be tagged or want to avoid specific content I rb from time to time, then fell free to let me know n I'll se what I can do (by that I mean that if it's a tw or cw I'll tag accordingly, and if it's a "I want to avoid x topic" then I'll make a tag for that, for example 'cap look away' is for a friend who avoids squids, trypophobia, bugs n some other things) almost all the time it's something I enjoy doing so just say so if ya need stuff to be tagged :]

English ain't my first lenguaje so if I write weirdly or stuff like that then sorry

And that's all I think

Enjoy your stay n have a 🍓 if ya read this far :]

[devinescribe]

Games

Chapter 7 to '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Swearing, violence, bullying, blood, I think that's it, but as always feel free to tell me if I missed any.

"I finally got contact lenses. I think they'll be better than my glasses. I mean, yeah, I'll probably still use them, but it's... nevermind, what do you think?" He rambled, a dorky smile on his face. "If it'll make you happy, then you look great," you said, smiling, honestly meaning your words. "I'm asking for your opinion woman, stop giving me the 'if it makes you happy' bullshit. Give me your opinion," he stated, shaking your shoulders."It looks good! I'm not used to seeing you without your glasses, but you look good!" You laughed, your words coming out in a vibrato of sorts from him shaking you. "I'm glad you think so."

"Dear gods my hair is getting long..." he muttered, running his hands through his hair, staring at himself in the bathroom mirror. "I think it looks good," you commented, passing by the bathroom with a laundry basket. "Really? I think I kind of like it too..."

"And how much does it hurt?" He questioned. "Not that much, or so I've heard. Plus, we're getting it at the same time, so... no backing out, or I'll cut your hair," you threatened, your hold on his hand tightening a bit. "No, don't you dare. And I won't back out," he said as you dragged him into the shop. (The fact I've been threatened with that-)

"I somehow can't believe we looked like that!" You laughed, pointing at the photo on your phone. It was from high school, and you were both laughing at how dorky you both looked. "Oh gods... actually, I was kind of hot," you said, giggling a bit. "Have we really changed that much?" Niragi questioned. "Well, let's see," you said, opening the camera and telling Niragi to get into frame. He did so, and you both stuck out your tongues, the matching piercings glinting in the light. You snapped the photo, and put it side by side the one from high school. "Wow... that's a big difference, holy shit," he laughed. You snickered, and posted side by side comparison of the the photos. "Yeah. Huge difference."

"Hatter would like to see you... Alone."

You looked back at Ann, and nodded, getting up. "If she's going, I'm going with," Niragi said, getting up himself. "He said he wants to speak to (Y/N) alone. Respect to rules for once please," Ann chided, as you walked to her side. Niragi laughed, finishing with a smirk, "And since when do I listen to the rules?"

You looked back at him with a proud, yet embarrassed face. Definitely not the same Niragi from back in the real world. He was more confident than you last remembered, that was for sure. "Dude, I'll be totally fine. The least they could do is kill me," you said, a bit to nonchalantly for his tastes. "That seems like a worse case scenario, but ok." he responded, "I'm still going with you." "No, you're not. Look, I'll be fine ok? Just wait outside the door," you suggested. He scoffed, but nodded nontheless. Ann stayed quiet, watching this exchange. 'So... is that all it takes to convince him? Really? All we needed was this girl?' Were her thoughts.

"Oh good, you're here!" Hatter exclaimed as soon as you walked in. Ann stayed outside, and shut the doors behind you. You nodded. Was he happy or just extremely charismatic? You didn't know, but whatever it was, it was nice. It made you feel like you were talking to someone you knew. Like the pleasant ladies from your apartment complex. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"Where are we?" You asked as you got off the train. "I don't know. Just took a random train. You said you wanted another adventure," he replied. You gasped. "Niragi Suguru, you did not," you said, grabbing onto his hand to make sure you didn't lose him in the large crowd. "I did. And what of it?" He asked, dragging you out. "Oh my gods... Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but which city are we in?" You asked one of the people who worked there. They smiled and answered with, "Shinjuku. Are you lost?"  You shook your head. "No, we'll be fine. Thank you very much!" You said. Niragi dragged you to the exit. "I don't look presentable to be in Shinjuku right now, Niragi," you said, hiding your face. "You always look nice though. And it's called opportunity. I took it, and now we're here. So, let's take advantage of this, yeah?"

Hatter sat you down. "From what Ann and Aguni reported back to me, you're a quick thinker. Great shot apparently. They were both very impressed," he started. You smiled. "I'm honored they felt that way," you said. Hatter chuckled. "Well, Ann said you'd do well in either position of a militant or an executive. And it's just your luck the precious person who held number 7 recently... died. The games, obviously. Before you came here, actually. Maybe it was a sign it was meant to be yours. And, since you've proven yourself useful, I think it's a good idea," Hatter said, rambling a bit. "That's a bit too high for me, isn't it?" You questioned. You had just gotten here, you couldn't possibly be up that high already. "Uh... no. It's not. So, as of today, you shall be a militant," he said dramatically. You laughed, thanking him as he gave you a wristband with the number seven written on the blue tag. You slipped it on your wrist. "Oh, and just so you know, Aguni will most likely take you under his wing. The militants are mostly guys, so be careful. And... uh... your friend can help you find everything. He'll also show you to your new room. That is all. Goodbye now," he said cheerfully. You smiled brightly, thanking him.

You opened the door to leave, seeing Niragi leaning on the wall across the door. You smiled, closing the door softly behind you. "I'm back," you said. He nodded, "I can see that." "Can you really? You have your contact lenses?" You asked, skeptical. He nodded his head. "Surprisingly," he added. "Hmm... and for how many more days do you have them?" You questioned as he led you through the hotel. "Well, I've been in the borderland about 2 and a half weeks-"

"Woah, hold up... you'd been gone for six months up in the real world-"

"Well, I'm starting to think time runs differently in both places. Because no way in hell have I been here 6 months."

"Ok... continue on."

You two talked about whatever came to mind just like you used to. It was like you never skipped a beat. He lead you down into where they kept the weapons. "Only milatants and Hatter are allowed down here. This is the basement, and also where we keep the weapons. So, take your pick," he said, a smirk on his face. "You're a bit to proud of this aren't you?" You asked, looking over the different weapons. "Maybe," he responded. You didn't have to look at him to know he was smirking, you could just hear it in his voice. You picked out a knife that had a strap around. You also picked up a riffle similar to Niragi's, and turned to face him. "Ok, I'm good," you said. "Tomorrow, the militants are heading out on a supply run. Which means you now too. You can wear actual clothes now, isn't that fun?" He joked. You rolled your eyes shoving him playfully. He ran his tongue over his teeth. "That's really how you want to play, huh (L/N)?" He asked. You could hear the tone behind his words. The tone that meant run or your fucked, because whatever game he's scheming will end with you caught. It was quite normal for you two. Playing games with each other was a hobby back in the real world. Didn't matter how childish or immature they were. "Ouch, my last name? That hurts... Suguru." (Is that his last name or his first name? I don't know, I've been treating it as his last name, but I'm probably wrong) You giggled, running off. There was probably tons of places to hide inside the basement, and probably even more places throughout the beach.

"How was last night? Did you have fun?" He teased as soon as you woke up. You rolled your eyes. "Don't even talk to me about last night. Another disappointment," you groaned, rubbing your eyes. "Damn. That bad, huh?" He said, handing you a mug with coffee in it. You took a sip, and smiled. Perfect... He always made really good coffee, and it impressed you. "Yeah... definitely that bad. I heard him leave this morning, let's hope he never comes back," you said. Niragi laughed, taking a sip of his own coffee. The sunlight came in through the sliding glass door of your apartment.  The sky was painted with pinks and purples. Gold dusted the clouds as the sun touched them. It was perfectly picturesque. "One day, we won't have to live in a sucky apartment building, you know? I promise you that one day we'll have... I don't know where do you want to live?" He asked you. You both walked over to the couch, sitting next to eachother. "I don't know... I'd go anywhere as long as I can still have my best friend with me.''

"Come on out, (Y/N). I'll find you sooner or later. We need sleep," he shouted. You stifled a laugh, and crouched down, sneaking around. You could see him looking around for you. You moved backwards, bumping into someone. You slowly turned around. It was the guys Niragi had introduced as 'Last Boss'.

Throughout the day, you had actually had the opportunity to talk to him a bit. More like you talked, while he observed you, occasionally making a sound of sorts to show you he was listening. He'd also answered your questions, so you thought he wouldnt be that bad. You made the quiet signal, putting a finger to your lips. He looked down quizzically. "Playing a game. Can't let him find me. Wanna join?" You whispered to the mysterious man. He nodded slightly, still a bit confused. "Ok, the objective is to not get caught by Niragi. He doesn't know you're playing yet, so I'll figure something out... oh, I got it! You go hide," you whisper shouted, shooing him off. He went to go hide, and you climbed to the top of one of the darker places. "A new player has joined in. One seeker, two hiders!" You shouted. You heard Niragi laugh. "Dumbass! You're letting me know where you are!"  You smirked. That's what you wanted him to think.

"Oh nice! You got his glasses that's 20 points!" The boys shouted. You struggled to get out of the ropes tied your hands together. You heard Niragi groan, and looked up, seeing him on the floor, blood dripping from his nose. "Niragi!" You shouted in worry. He looked over at you, before one of the guys kicked his face into the ground. You struggled against the ropes the boys had tied around your wrist. It dug into your skin, you could feel the skin being rubbed raw from how much you had struggled against them ."So useless without eachother, huh?" One of them taunted. "Stop hurting him!" You yelled, squirming. "Oh? Would you rather we harm you then? You were always such a pretty girl... to bad you decided to defend him," the leader of their little group said, kneeling in front of you. "I don't give a damn if you hurt me. Stop hurting him!' You shouted. "(Y-y/N), don't," Niragi said, before one of the bullies kicked him in the stomach. He winced in pain, screwing his eyes shut. "Stop it! He didn't do anything to you!" You screamed, struggling even more, the ropes creating rope burn on your skin. "It's not a vengeance thing. It's fun," the leader said, grabbing your chin, making you look up at him. You glared at him in disgust, wanting so badly to just hit him, or spit on him in the moment. But you didn't. You didn't because you knew if you did either you or Niragi would get hurt. More likely Niragi, since they knew he was your weakness. "Just like it's fun making girls like you submit," he added with a smirk. "Don't you dare hurt her! Hurt me all you want, but don't touch her!" Niragi yelled. There was confidence in his words, but you also knew how scared he was. You could see it on his face. "That sounds boring though. What if we just make both of you our little puppets for the night, have you both put on a show?'' One of the guys snickered. This was followed by a chorus of 'not a bad idea' and 'sounds interesting.' You looked at Niragi, fear written all over your face.

You ran quietly, and quickly, knowing he could catch up to you. You looked around the dimly lit basement, and saw the exist to go up. Your eyes caught a flash of movement, and someone grabbed you, putting a hand over your mouth. You were shocked at first, going to scream bloody murder, before seeing it was Last Boss. He let you go, and you took a breath. "Oh my gods... dude that was scary," you whispered. He shrugged. "I have a place we can hide. I don't think he's smart enough to find it," He suggested, nodding his head over to Niragi. You stifled a laugh, and nodded, letting him lead you.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N), are you alright?" He worriedly asked, checked on you. You hissed in pain when his hands went over the bruises. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault, if I hadn't-" he started, blaming himself. You grabbed shoulders, and shook your head. "It's not your fault... it's ok," you said, sitting up. The gravel under you poked at the skin exposed from your school skirt. "I-its not ok!" He shouted. "It's... it's not ok. You shouldn't have- I could've-" he started, pulling at his hair. "Niragi. It's not your fault. You didn't... you didn't hurt me," you said, your voice calming. You grabbed his hands, pulling them towards you. You were just kids. Fucking 16 years old(not exactly a kid, but whatever), you shouldn't have to go through this stuff. No kid should. "I should be comforting you, yet here you are, making me feel better. Stop it, you're the one who-"

"Niragi, it happened to both of us. Stop acting like you're ok too."

"But- I'm supposed to... I-"

"Shut up, and come here."

He sighed, sitting besides you. You pulled his head into your lap, and he sighed. "Stop taking care of me. Stop hanging out with me, because you're the one who ends up getting hurt because of me. Please," he pleaded as you ran your fingers through his hair. "No," you responded. "(Y/N), stop being so stubborn! Please, just... just listen to me!" He shouted. You flinched at the sudden loudness. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you," he apologized, noticing when you flinched. You sighed, leaning back on the concrete wall. You muttered back something along the lines of him not having to apologize. You heard thunder, and saw a flash of lightning. "It's going to rain, we should go home," Niragi said. "Don't wanna... let's stay here?" You muttered, watching the sun get covered by the clouds. You were under a bridge, so you at least had coverage. He looked up at you, and nodded. "Ok. We can," he whispered. The raindrops began to splatter on the ground outside the coverage of the bridge, and you sighed in happiness. Niragi sat up, bringing you close to him. The smell of rain filled your senses, and you couldn't help but enjoy the moment, even if you had been in emotional and physical pain before. Being there helped numb it for a while. Being with him helped numb the feeling.

"Alright... if I were (Y/N)... where would I go?" Niragi muttered to himself, walking around. It was too quiet. You weren't a quiet person unless need be, and if he remembers correctly, which he does, you had a losing streak in hide and seek since high school. You were too giggly to hide in silence, or maybe you got scared by being alone in the dark to long. Whatever it had been, you had a losing streak for almost 8 years. That was not about to change, not if he had a say in it. A part of him said he was not acting like himself, and that playing this with you was childish. Especially in the borderlands. He knew he would have to find you either way, so he stopped caring. He remembered what she had said. A new player has joined in. One seeker, two hiders! 'Ok, process of elimination....'

"So, given the fact Chishiya isn't allowed down here, I think I know who she's with, and where she is. Let's see if I'm right.''

This was more memories than actual current events... oh well- hope you enjoyed, have a wonderful day/night, baii!! Oh yeah, just because this is the only place people have a problem with me posting Niragi stuff, if you don't like it, the block button is right there, don't send me death threats or tell me to go kms. Thank you