#sorry to my mutuals for missing you guys

[caprart1]

Vindictive god

[bil-daddy]

Nice.

Also. Show of hands. Who here is not a bot? Cause I feel like some of ya'll might be bots

(Looking at you @nuttyconnoisseurperson)

(platonic)

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[fyodior]

.

[soullessjack]

throwing out just One more hot dean and jack take while it’s on my brain but I honestly think dean gives jack a little more autonomy than sam and cas do . Maybe.

[po3tictrag3dy]

where.....Where art thou.............WHERE ARE YPU!!!!!

[yeyayeya]

Have not posted anything in so long omg

I guess there was just a period of time when just going online was tiring asf, and I wanna get back to posting again lol

Maybe not as much, but I’ll slowly get back to posting again

[wretchie]

im not dead just offline but will be thus for the foreseeable future (which granted is not very long so who knows) love you all look at my local creek

[cr-amber]

hi tumblr i'm not dead

[ncutii-gatwa]

just wanted to shoutout some people that have made this year feel better than others and have kept my optimism for the future (which is hard for me). I appreciate you guys and I wish I could hug you and kiss your cheek. Thank you for being you. I hope next year loves you so much cause you deserve it 💘

@nessa007 / @userjohndeacon / @binickmiller / @yellenabelova / @labyrinth / @josephs-quinns / @cxpaldi / @ricky-olson / @morgots / @jennortegas /

[probayern]

i think after the euros i'm banning myself from tumblr and twitter for two weeks. need a phone cleanse. love and light to transfer season but i'll find out who we got later

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I think so much about early first game and pre-development s.ugiura

before he took off the mask and he was just that little shit who laughed at you and stole your phone for kicks

[lilacthebooklover]

GOLDMOTH82 APPRECIATION POST!!!

(because she deserves the world and i love her to bits <3333)

Moth is:

A PHENOMENAL writer. It's been an absolute joy to see her improve & continue over the years, and I always adore reading her work so so much!!

An ATRONOMICALLY amazing artist. That level of talent??? Insane. Mind-boggling. Absolutely astounding in the absolute best way possible <33

Absolutely STUNNING. I know she's never shared pics of herself on here (and understandably so!!) but believe me when I say she is drop-dead gorgeous.

A top tier best friend! She's so supportive & sweet, and I love being able to chat with her about our lives! She's interesting, she's funny, she's an absolute banger of a person

THE BEST. Indisputably at the top of the Best List, tied with only a select few others. If the world was ending, I'd want Moth to be on my survival team not only bc she kills everything she does (muehehe puns) but because she is such marvellous company and someone I'd be cool with dying alongside in the apocolypse :D

Thank you Goldie for being such a gem of a person <33 I'm so so happy we met!! Sending you lots & lots of hugs <3<3

REBLOG WITH YOUR AGREEMENTS AND ADDITIONS BC SHE IS SO SO WORTHY OF LOVEEEE

[headaching]

*guy who hasn’t posted in 8 weeks voice* um. hi for the love of god hello

[retributory]

very weird and mildly annoying trend i've noticed where people feel like they shouldn't (or can't) enjoy something without implicitly agreeing with every theme, narrative choice, character and joke, and they'll watch something like black butler or nigewaka or some such. and instead of just being like, "well you know i enjoyed [this] i just didn't like the shota stuff," which is a completely normal and reasonable opinion to express, they will instead say something like, "ACTUALLY IT WAS BOTH STRICTLY NECESSARY AND COMPLETELY NORMAL FOR THE AUTHOR TO DRAW THIS LITTLE BOY IN SEXUALIZED CLOTHING AND MAKE BLOWJOB JOKES ABOUT HIM AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE" as if this isn't the most batshit thing to say ever. and if you're like well man i think it's way weirder for you to insist that it's okay in a real-world context for 12 year olds to do pin-up you are now the bad guy who hates victims regardless of your actual feelings towards the matter or your own history. which is crazy

[dawntheduckrb]

I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)

I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏