#sorry to any of the millennial spn fans

[saltcxrcle]

anytime i remember that sam is in fact a millennial, some part (alot) of me cringes

[theshopislocal]

So I joined tumblr in December after seething about 15.20 for a little while. Before that I’d been an AO3 lurker and occasional writer in several fandoms, and before that I was (proudly!) kicked off of LJ for my disgusting and offensive PG-13 Harry/Draco drabbles that apparently squicked (a term I’ve recently learned no one uses any more :/) the random Christians who were inexplicably trolling LJ.

I knew very little about the spn fandom - specifically their demographics - when I first came here. I’d sort of been enjoying the show (usually? Eh, like 70/30) in my own little bubble - the same with fanfic and fanart.

To be frank, I was startled to discover the sheer number of younger folks and LGBT+ who are fans. Of course, reading all of your discourse and meta and musings, it makes perfect sense that spn and its characters would speak to young members of the LGBT+ community; I’d just been a little too ‘in my own head’ to put that together.

I’m a cisgender woman, and I’m generally fine with being called straight, though it’s not 100% accurate (what ever is, really?). That said, I wasn’t sexually or romantically attracted to anyone until I was in my early twenties, and my interests didn’t really align with those of other girls when I was in school. So, around seventh or eighth grade when most of the other girls started to go a little boy crazy, a few of them (my friends, actually) decided I was a lesbian. Their 12-year-old, early 2000s reasoning was “well, if you don’t like boys, and you keep your hair short, you’re probably a lesbian.” And I sort of just said “yeah, okay.”

So, when I was around 13 or so (and a newly minted “lesbian”), I started to get interested in media with gay themes. I started with shows like Queer As Folk and The L Word, and oddly enough, even though I didn’t relate to the romantic or sexual stuff because I didn’t feel things like that at the time, I did relate to the characters’ struggles. Feeling like no one knows you, like people can’t accept you, want to change you, feeling alone and different and outcast. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t very pretty, maybe because I was one of the only black girls in my grade, maybe because I was an only child and a latchkey kid; whatever the reason, these gay characters spoke to me. I felt like I knew them, and they knew me.

In true millennial style, I blew through pretty much all the gay stuff my mom would let me watch (she actually got suuuuper into The L Word, we watched like seven episodes in a row on Christmas Eve once), and then started scouring the internet for more content. That’s when I came across sites like Ink-Stained Fingers (a Harry Potter slash archive that might still exist? Idk) and Library of Moria (same thing but for LotR). And suddenly - anyone could be gay! And even though I wasn’t actually a lesbian (though at the time I was rather convinced I was), it still felt fantastic that I could actually relate to these characters, some of whom I’d only vaguely liked in reading their original canons.

I very quickly became a fanfic connoisseur - and it even went beyond slash pairings or any pairings at all. I just liked seeing characters in a new light. I liked seeing people and relationship dynamics that were different, taboo, subversive - because it made me feel better about being me.

I went off to college. Screwed around with some boys, some girls, some people who didn’t call themselves either. Became pretty sure I wasn’t a lesbian, but still didn’t really know what I was; this was over ten years ago, and all the various terminology was still pretty new. Eventually, I met a boy who made me smile and turned me on - both of which were entirely new and singular experiences for me - and I married him.

Cut to: my husband and I watching 15.20, and both of us - cisgender and predominately straight - looking at each other like “wtf is this bro-y bullshit?”

So I thought “fuck this, I need to vent,” hopped on tumblr, and - low and behold - here you all are! It took me a minute to wrap my head around it, to get past the initial excitement of just look at all the people the different people the real people the people who are so very unapologetically themselves!

I don’t think any of you could possibly know how happy I was (am) to see you all, how very beautiful it is that you’re all here.

Anyway. To all the LGBT+ shippers reading this, I just want you to know (re: the deancas wedding, but also just... everything): if even my dumb, straight, weird, who-even-am-I ass can see it, it’s real. You’re not crazy, you’re not delusional, your opinions are not invalid. You’re not just “projecting,” and even if you were, there’s no damn law that says only straight people get to project. Please don’t let shitty people (who are literally too stupid to even capitalize on your interest for their own gain) ruin anything for you.

To any straight shippers: if you’re anything like me, you’re not fetishizing or objectifying gay relationships - you’re relating to characters that you adore in the best way you know how. You’re celebrating the qualities in people that make the world diverse and colorful and beautiful.

To any young shippers: it gets better. You’ll get out. You’ll find better answers. You’ll learn better questions. You’ll figure it all out, or (slightly more likely) you’ll figure out that not everything needs to be figured out. People do hear you, and people do care about you and what you have to say. Your voice matters.

To everyone: there’s nothing wrong with you. And I’m so damn sorry that anyone has ever made you believe that there is. Honestly. I’m sorry.

[hippychick006]

15.01 Back and to the Future - Episode Recap/Review

Finally managed to find time to watch the episode all the way through.  I miss the old days where nothing would have stopped me watching it as soon as it aired, but those days are long gone. 

I’ve put the review under a cut to avoid triggering those that don’t like criticism of the show and think everyone who watches should only see the same rainbows, puppies and sunshine they appear to view when they watch it.  If this is you, it’s easy to just scroll on by or block “spn critical”, but I personally won’t stop making posts that cover both things I love about the show and things that lead to eye twitching.

We open on the last ever road so far of the series (sniffles).  As I’m useless as always with identifying music, Shazam advises me the montage was done to the music of Bob Segar and The Silver Bullet Band.  “The Famous Final Scene”. Lyrics are worth noting here:

Think in terms of bridges burned Think of seasons that must end See the rivers rise and fall They will rise and fall again Everything must have an end Like an ocean to a shore Like a river to a stream Like a river to a stream It's the famous final scene

And how you tried to make it work Did you really think it could How you tried to make it last Did you really think it would Like a guest who stayed too long Now it's finally time to leave Yes, it's finally time to leave Take it calmly and serene It's the famous final scene

It's been coming on so long You were just the last to know It's been a long time since you've smiled Seems like oh so long ago Now the stage has all been set And the nights are growing cold Soon the winter will be here And there's no one warm to hold Now the lines have all been read And you knew them all by heart Now you move toward the door Here it comes the hardest part Try the handle of the road Feeling different feeling strange This can never be arranged As the light fades from the screen From the famous final scene

 How dare they!  I’m feeling feelings!

Kudos to shazam by the way for identifying the music, even over the dialogue. Impressive.

I like that we open through Jack’s burned out eyes to the fighting taking place and the final verse of the song continues during this scene. The boys are doing well, and Badass!Castiel has made an appearance. Hello and welcome to the only version of Castiel I can watch these days.

Great scene of the brothers fighting side by side as they escape through the graveyard, flying Sam and ninja kicking Dean, great to watch and what I’m here for.  

I like the titles for this season, someone else did a great post on this (as long as you ignore the bi purple reference in their otherwise great analysis!).  I personally associate pink/purple with endings and beginnings and I would suggest this is much more likely what the season is about than Dean wanting to get it on with a 2000 year old beam of light in a corpse, but you know, what do Jensen and I know about Dean’s sexuality, am I right?

As always, I like the scenery and lighting so far, the show always does a superb job with both of these and another reason I continue to watch.

However, I am gravely disappointed we didn’t get the demon/ghosts/zombies/what the fuck ever dancing to Thriller, possibly that will come on the gag reel. We can live in hope, because otherwise it’s a missed opportunity.

Sam and Dean standing in front of the door together. Love it.  Any little brother moment makes me happy these days.

Poor Sam, he’s asked Castiel if he can heal Jack. ☹ Of course not, Sam, it’s only episode 15.01. Sheesh.  We have 19 episodes to go.  Pace yourself.

I think some of the dialogue in the mausoleum scene is the weakest in the episode and some of the delivery wasn’t great.  I can’t think of a more boring storyline than manufactured drama between Castiel and  Dean - yawn!  I’m also long past Castiel’s not understanding references stick. “I wouldn’t starve” That would have been funny season 4/5.   Now… not so much.  Also, thanks to Dabb, I don’t have any characters that I’m worried about dying. I know Jack will be back and I have the opposite problem with Castiel.  I didn’t feel any urgency in the whole opening scene.  Just, meh.

I do like however that during Dean getting worked up over Chuck, we see Sam getting distracted in the background and he sneaks off and we know he’s looking for a solution to their current predicament.

Dean eventually notices his brother has wandered off and asks what Sam’s got. Sam suggests there might be a drainage pipe or something.  Dean thinks they’re not that lucky and suggests sewer line.  Oh boys.

Brothers working together to break through the brickwork is what I think most of us are here for.  

RME at Sam and Dean stepping back from the zombie coming through the brickwork they’ve just opened up as if they’ve never hunted anything in their life. Either one (or both because that would have been cool) could have stuck the iron bars they were holding into the zombies head, but no, they needed the side character to rescue them.  So Dabb’s still not averse to making his leads look dumb in order for his side characters to have a purpose. Awesome writing, said no critic of Dabb ever.

Having said that, I have a weakness for people protecting Sam “fucking” Winchester and we get that in the very next scene where Castiel and Dean are slightly in front of Sam when Jack makes an appearance.  

Sam thinks Jack is alive. ☹

Immediately loving Demon B (can’t spell whatever his actual name is), love that Alex is getting the chance to do another character, and he’s killing it so far.  

Dean and Castiel have an argument about whether to listen to the demon, which is settled by Sam saying quietly, “Cass… Dean’s right.” Castiel stops.  Sastiel for the win y’all!

Lucky that spell was so easy, huh?  Hmm, graveyard dirt and angel blood might come in handy this season.   And if you were lucky enough to miss the Heller “Destiel is end game” meta on this spell, consider yourselves incredibly lucky and do not under any circumstances go looking for it.  

Two teenage girls we don’t know are doing what I presume is teenage girl stuff (which I never did by the way, but I might be unusual in that respect). I fear they are the red shirts of this episode so are not long for this world.  Those fears are confirmed when we see Bloody Mary in the mirror.  I’m more than a little confused since nobody said, “Bloody Mary”, let alone 3 times, so how on earth is she doing her mojo?  Anyway, spoiler alert, two girls we don’t care about die.  

Meanwhile, back in the Impala, which has 2 humans, a moody angel and a demon in Jack’s body, we find out 2-3 billion souls might be able to get out of hell through the rift that opened up in the graveyard.   Demon B says he knows a spell that will contain the current ones within a mile of the cemetery which might buy them some time.  Castiel says there’s a town that’s within that distance which would be in danger, so they decide they need to evacuate it and then perform the spell.  As they are talking about all of this, they come across an abandoned car.  Another great brother scene here where Dean and Sam investigate the car together.  Sam seems to flashback to the woman in white from the pilot.  

Sam: This could be our woman in white”.  

Dean: Dude, we sent her to hell years ago.  

Sam: Yeah, she could be back.  

Dean: Well, if she’s back, then they’re all back.  Every last one that we ever killed.

The next scene shows a woman with a child running through a house and there’s blood everywhere.  Again, I’ve got no emotional connection to them so this entire scene is meh for me, even with the child. Sorry.  If I’m going to be perfectly honest, the mom is kind of annoying for me.  Is it bad that I’m currently rooting for the ghosts?

Fast forward this scene, and it’s now daylight. How far did they drive?  Like Jack was killed in daylight, then it got dark – but I think that was Chuck’s doing, and now it’s light again.  I’m going to presume all of the graveyard stuff was 1 hour before dawn, otherwise the timing doesn’t make sense to me.  Anyway, Sam gets out of the car, he’s posing as an FBI agent which gets the suspicion of the local sheriff because that is not regulation FBI hair Sam!  

Meanwhile, Dean suggests Castiel go with “Crowley Junior” to get everything he needs for his spell.  Castiel refuses, he can’t even look at the demon wearing Jack’s body.  Suck it Castiel.  You’re a few millennials old angel, just get the job done ffs and stop being a wuss. Sam and Dean lost Jack too and you don’t see either of them crying into their coco pops!  Grrrr.  

Due to Cass being a weenie, we get brother separation from about half-way through the episode.  Sam with Castiel (Sastiel fans rejoice) and Dean with Demon B.

Castiel leaves the car and joins Sam who is still trying to convince the local sheriff to evacuate the town due to “the pipeline outside of town.” which Sam says has sprung a leak. Sheriff: What pipeline? Oh Sam.  Sam handles it well though, he goes into annoyed mode, which seems to work as the sheriff agrees he can move the towns people up to the high school which he says is 5 miles away.  I like Sam looking silently at Castiel here to check if that’s far enough, which Castiel confirms.

Meanwhile back at the car, Supernatural is as unsubtle as ever, we have a shot of Dean putting the god kiling gun/colt (not sure which) in the glove compartment. Hmm, idly wonders if Demon B is going to steal it at some point.

Demon B thinks Dean is gorgeous.  Calm tf down hellers, Dean is uncomfortable because he considers the meat suit the demon is wearing to be “our son, kind of” (his words, not mine).  Dean asks what Demon B needs to perform the spell and luckily it only requires a bag of salt… and a human heart.

Sam and Castiel are going house to house.  I like the difference between the two, Sam is wandering through the house, gun aimed and ready. Castiel holds the gun loosely at his side. Oh Castiel.  Castiel finds the two girls that were killed by bloody Mary.  Sam finds the little girl and her mom from the earlier scene. Sam is so good with the little girl, but putting his weapon down is a great big anvil to what’s coming next, particularly when Sam says “Everything’s going to be fine”.  

Hurt!Sam alert, but it comes with lame!ghost alert.  I mean that ghost clown is bad. I’m not sure how I feel about Sam still being afraid of this loser, plus he got over clowns several seasons ago, so why have him acting afraid.  Luckily, side character Castiel is here once again to be the hero of the show. Wait, what?

Back with Demon B and we find out he is a fanboy of torturer!Dean.  We also learn that the cage door is open, which means our dimension Michael (and likely brother Adam) is loose.

Castiel heals Sam (and repairs his clothing – have we seen this skill before or is this another continuity error?).  The mom is shocked and Castiel explains he’s an angel.  She asks about the clown, which Sam says was a ghost.  The woman asks about Sam and he says, he’s “just a guy” which is completely inaccurate, especially when his next sentence is “When I shot god…”

Castiel remembers that Sam’s injured and insists on seeing Sam’s shoulder wound and he’s not taking Sam’s bull “it’s nothing, it’s fine…”   So much Sastiel, and I really wish I could get behind this ship, but I won’t ever forgive the panic room, blaming Sam for the apocalpyse, or the bringing down of Sam’s hell wall amongst many other betrayals.  Love Sastiel shippers though and glad they are getting all the cookies.

Ok the vision scene, I’ve seen people thinking it’s Castiel that sees the vision, but it looks like it was Sam to me by the way he reacts, but it’s not 100% clear so it’ll be interesting how this progresses, particularly since the wound has an energy that Castiel’s never felt before.  I also don’t think it’s a vision, but a glimpse of one of the alternate realities. Sam goes back to insisting he’s fine and luckily he gets a call from the sheriff so Castiel can’t call him out on it.

Guys, I’m getting a bad feeling that the sheriff isn’t going to be around much longer.   A feeling that just grows when he comes across a lady wearing white and…

…what the hell?  That isn’t our Constance!  Great cheek bones though.  I have chipmunk cheeks like Paul McCartney so always jealous of great cheekbones.

Demon B and Dean are struggling with the heart ingredient. Dean’s thinking morgue, Demon B is a little fussy and would prefer fresh…

…  Wait a minute… was that a scream?  How fortuitous that I think Demon B’s about to get his spell ingredient.  Poor sheriff.  Damn you show!

Uh, Castiel and Sam, I don’t want to teach you how to do your job, but one in front, one behind the survivors would have been the way I’d have done it.  Horror movie survival 101. Just fyi. Plus your walk is not in sync.

See, I told you one of you should have walked behind! One of your survivors just wandered off and is now in danger and neither of you even noticed.

I’m getting whiplash again from the frequent scene changes during this entire segment, I hate when they do this.  Back with Demon B and Dean who realises the air is cold.  

Uh no Constance bitch, Dean did not take you home.  Sam did, but what is canon on this show any longer? Anyway, Dean gets thrown and knocked out.

Back with Castiel and Sam, clown ghost appears.  Castiel: “It’s just one ghost.”  

They walk closer and two more ghosts appear, Castiel, “…just three…”  Oh dear.

Sam and Castiel start shooting the ghosts.  Sam accidentally shoots Castiel instead of Lizzie Borden (I think it’s her), but given it’s rock salt, Castiel is okay.  While they have a “you shot me moment”, they take their eyes off the third ghost. I am not shocked at all that the third ghost takes advantage of their stupidity and tackles Sam to the ground.

Back with Demon B who is telling Constance she is a “Bad ghost.  Bad!”

Sam is getting whaled on.  Let’s put this down to his shoulder injury because otherwise Sam “fucking” Winchester has completely forgotten how to fight this episode.

Back with Demon B and Dean rescues him using iron to dispel Constance.  Great job Dean!  A+

Which gets reduced to a B- since the very next scene Dean throws his only weapon away.  Dean come on! This is horror movie survival 101.  I’m questioning your 30+ years of training at this point.  

Back with Sam, little girl survivor is entranced by a pond, which suddenly has a woman appear in it.  Sneak attack from Bloody Mary.  If that face had appeared at night and the pond water had not had an anvil dropped on it several times over the last few minutes, I might have been a little scared, but nope.

Back with Dean and Demon B who start the spell. Going back and forth between this and Castiel and Sam who are still getting whaled on.  Well actually, Sam is getting whaled on, Castiel is doing okay. Ooh, kick to the face shot on Sam. Hurry up Demon B.  The pretty is getting hurt!

Lovely, Sam “fucking” Winchester gets rescued for the third time in a single episode.   We may have to remove the middle name until Sam’s allowed to be a competent hunter again!

Demon B finishes the spell and it’s quite impressive, we see a light zoom towards Castiel and Sam that comes to an end a few hundred yards down the road -  which means they are still in the same zone as the ghosts, which all appear again. This spell looks like a firewall and I’m wondering if my firewall theory might ye be a possibility.

Sam tells Castiel to get the others across the line. Castiel doesn’t want to agree but Sam insists.  Sam stays behind to hold off the ghosts saying “bring it” and… his gun clicks empty. Oh Sam, this is a really bad day for you.

Sam gives his “look how cute I am smile” and starts running.  I have absolutely no idea why the ghosts are running.  They were able to appear a few seconds ago, I would think this would be faster.  

We do really need someone to edit the Benny Hill Yackety Sax music into this chase scene because it isn’t the least bit scary.  I’m sorry.

I like Sam protecting the little girl as he thinks he’s about to get stabbed, but in the first lucky moment of Sam’s really, terrible bad day, they made it just across the invisible barrier.

Lame Ghost!clown is a tad upset and whines.  Sam tells him to “Shut up!” Yeah Sammy!   With a final glare at the ghosts, Sam follows Castiel and the 2 survivors as they walk away.

They get back to Dean who drives them to the school. The impala is now even more full with 2 Winchesters, a still moody angel, demon B and 2 survivors.

Sam walks the survivors over to the school building and he’s just… sigh.  

However, I quickly realise this means we’re going to get a Dean and Castiel scene and prepare to cringe.  Dean asks Castiel: “You ok?”  Castiel: “Yes, but…”  Dean: “Good” and he walks away.  

Okaaaay, that went better than I was anticipating.  I do think Castiel was about to tell Dean about Sam’s shoulder injury though (because let’s face it, those two only talk about Sam or on rare occasions, Jack) so Dean not knowing about the “energy” Castiel felt might come back to bite later because Sam’s definitely not going to tell him about it.

Demon B thinks it was awkward, and I agree.

Okay, everyone shhhh!  It’s the 20th last ever broment!  Dean wants to take care of Sam’s injury. Sam’s “fine”. Dean’s not having any of it and insists.   Dean distracts Sam with a story from their childhood and these are the moments I continue to watch the show for!  

They talk about Chuck, Dean thinks they’ve had no free will, that they are just rats in a maze and he’s questioning what any of it ever meant. Sam ever the optimist believes they made a difference, that they saved people.  He thinks Chuck’s gone and that means it’s just them.  

Dean: and about 3 billion ghosts

Sam:  Yeah, well, what’s one more apocalypse, right?...   But seriously, if we win, when we win this, god’s gone. There’s no one to screw with us. There’s no more rats in a maze, it’s just us.  And we’re free.

Dean: “So, you and me, verse every soul in hell…. I like those odds.”

Sam smiles: “Yeah, me too.”

Dean: “Well, you know what that means?”                                               

Sam: “We’ve got work to do.” Sam closes the trunk and we flashback to pilot!Sam doing the same thing.

How dare you show.  Now I obviously need to go do some dusting… as my house has suddenly become dusty or my spring allergies are playing up a couple of seasons early...  

Other than some lame, eye rolling moments that I’ve covered throughout, I didn’t mind this episode, and I didn’t mind the separation. I’ve said before I don’t mind some brother separation, I like the different dynamics we get to see, but if we get a lot of brother separation again, I will not be such a happy bunny.  Don't care about other people’s views on this, but that’s mine.  I’m primarily watching for J2′s chemistry and you can’t get that if they aren’t on screen together.

I’m interested so far in where we’re headed which is good.  The only thing I’m not interested in which I commented on earlier is the 😴 fest (imo) that appears to be the Dean and Cass falling out that’s still hovering since last season. My main concern right now is that Dean will be made to apologise at some point and placate the wooby angel’s hurt feelings with a soap opera esque dramatic scene (which Dabb will cry while he writes it and' I’ll cry for entirely different reasons while I endure it) . Dean will no doubt declare yet again that Castiel is “brother/family” which will be as meaningless as the other times he’s said it.  

I’ve never been here for a storyline less than this one. And that includes Amelia that at least gave us great hair Sam, soft focus Sam, Sam with a dog and jealous!Dean.

I really hope I’m completely wrong and that Dabb won’t throw one of his lead characters under the bus in favour of a side character, but... then I remember it’s Dabb and he has thrown his lead characters under a bus for the sake of side characters.

All this is just my speculation.  It may or may not come to pass, but I like to get my concerns down so I can work through them.