#sorry this took so long my mind literally blanked

[grimxark]

Fire emoji (idk where to find it sorry) transformers

I genuinely dont really know what's controversial or not in the community bc I haven't been here for very long and my interactions are superficial at best, But. hmm.

The fandomification of IDW optimus is a bit sad because by all means he is a POS. like an absolute shit guy. There are certain dynamics in IDW that do not work the same as in IDW2 or in G1 but said dynamics are still implemented anyway, and it takes from the interest of the dynamics, undermines them in such an explicit way that it makes it quite tiring to see.

For example, IDW OP and Hot Rod/Rodimus would not have the same dynamic as in g1. I frankly haven't gotten to that part in g1 to even say that the father/son dynamic portrayed by fanom is inherently valid, but IDW OP and Hot Rod are just, commanding officer and his subordinate.

Hot Rod looks up to him, sure, but that devalues from the fact OP caught him in his most vulnerable moment. It takes apart a dynamic of ideal idolization that is unhealthy at its core and turns it into a father/son dynamic that by no means exist, even in subtext. Optimus is distant, and a dynamic that would entail traditional family roles would only indicate for the absent father and the reckless child.

I think the same applies for Bumblebee. He really isn't OP's "son", not in IDW, he's just a scout op dotes on. And that's just as good a dynamic as any, its nice to explore things beyond traditionality.

Since im on the topic already, I'll also say that the case is similar with ROTB OP and bee/mirage. The movie quite literally tells you by a direct comparison that OP is much more like a big brother (and above all else, a commander) to those two than anything else. Noah and Op are supposed to mirror each other, with Mirage being that bridge that connects their humanity, as being a bot that both care about, even when showing clear annoyance.

I think a lot of people (outside tf too, especially) tend to get found family and assign traditional family roles to each, when that takes from the appeal of the found family trope. When this is something so present and persistent throughout all of transformers media it gets a little upsetting to see the fathers/sons/daughters dynamics flaunted around. Not to say I dislike them and won't endulge, and not to say I don't find them fun, it just gets overbearing after a while

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

[enbyshads]

WHAT is your most obscure sonic headcanon (for any character)? I'm expanding our collection >:3c

okay this is gonna sound insane and maybe even stupid but i have this silly headcanon that sonic boom takes place in the same universe as the modern version of sonic but like, a couple hundred years in the future? like, more of a reincarnation type of thing. i know this isn't related to just one character but yeah, i think it's a fun headcanon

[witchwrestler]

I Eat Boys

warnings // Jason being a creep but that's literally it

summary: 10 things I hate about you inspired little blurb bc I got bored

note: reblogs are appreciated and encouraged!! if you like this i will gladly do another part, this was v fun to write !!!

part 2

☆ 🎸 ☆

You'd always been what most in the small shoebox town of hawkins would call a "feminist bitch", and according to most of the men who ask you out as a joke in the hallways, you've been more rageful than usual. You had one boyfriend during your high-school career thus far. It was freshman year and the product of being told that if a boy was being mean to you, surely that means he likes you. It ended after four months, after his failed attempt at getting in your pants.

It took you much longer than you'd like to admit to heal from that fiasco, and when you had finally declared yourself happy again, you cut your hair short, bought a pair of doc martens you'd always wanted and decided you would swear men off for a while. Not to say they were even approaching you, it seems the moment you had grown into yourself and stopped caring, men wanted nothing to do with you.

That is, until a very cold and rainy saturday. You had gone to the record store across from family video to buy the new metallica 'master of puppets'. As per usual the music blaring from your beat up jeep was some form of loud aggressive feminist punk rock, and as you turned into the parking lot, what seemed like the entire hawkins cheer team parked next to you. Too fast you thought, their happy Duran Duran playing selves turned into four cheerleaders looking at you like you were deranged. You scowled back at them and walked into the record store.

You spotted the metallica immediately and walked over to the metal section.

Only you weren't the only one grabbing the cassette, right as you very nearly got your hands on it, a pair of silver-clad fingers snatched it. You looked up, shooting a glare at him. He had long curly brown hair, the sickest dio tour shirt on, a guitar pick hanging on a chain around his neck and chains hanging from his jeans. This is the first time you had felt almost upstaged by a man, you think to yourself before speaking. "I really thought I was the only one who liked metal in this shitty town, do I have competition now?" You say, leaning forward over the display separating you. He looked at you a moment, a smile on his face, "it would seem you do" you smile back at him, and grab another cassette from in front of you before walking to the front to pay.

As you leave you turn back around, finding him still standing at the metal section, his eyes meeting yours again. "I am jealous as hell of that dio shirt, by the way." You say, walking out to your car.

The rain had stopped but it was still chilly outside, so you pulled your brown leather jacket closer to keep warm. You hadn't noticed that someone was following behind you until they whistled at you. You turned on your heel, immediately angry. Jason carver and his raging case of dickface disease stood before you, walking towards you like he was entitled to you or something.

" Carver, if you don't walk away right now, I'll kick your sorry ass," you say, backing slowly towards your car and crossing your arms. "A girl? kick my ass? keep dreaming, hon." He says, inching towards you. "Look, I wouldn't mind a reason to hit you, but I doubt you're gonna wanna go tell your fucking goon squad that you got your ass beat by a woman, huh?" You say, nothing but a blank expression on your face. He gets too close for comfort, a hand brushing your thigh. "so you're a feisty one, hm?" he says, his hand now squeezing your thigh, your fist clenching at his touch. You let out a sarcastic laugh just to say, "Carver, I fucking eat boys like you for breakfast. You're all talk, no bite." a smirk paints his face as he pushes you onto the door of your car, "isn't that why you went to juvie, freak?" he says. Clearly, he thought that the freak bit would cut deep, but you weren't about to let someone like him get under your skin.

"Yeah." That wasn't true. You have never even been near a juvenile detention center. But your last straw had been pulled, and you would rather he be scared of you than have him actually figure you out. "And pathetic, mysoginistic, disrespectful boys like you were my favorite kind." You say, pushing him off of you. His eyes got big with fear, scrambling away as he ran to his car, eyes flicking to you nervously. You let out a sigh of relief "fucking, men." you mumbled under your breath, finishing the walk to your car.

☆

Little did you know, that head of curly hair and hands clad with silver, who grabbed the same album as you, had tried to catch up to you after you complimented his shirt. You hadn't noticed him watch your little scramble. And you hadn't noticed the smirk that grew on his face as he saw you scare carver off. And you didn't know that he had regretted not asking your name, and that now he feared he might never know it.

[jinkiezzsstuff]

Hazbin Hotel x male reader who transmigrated into it.

Hiya! I’ve never done a request before and i’m sorry I got to you late! I didn’t know where the askbox answers went lmao. I don’t mind doing this but this is my first so hope this tickles your fancy and i did your idea justice, im sorry it’s quite short, i wanted to get it out so i didn’t leave ya hanging! <3

Part 2

Summary: One minute you’re living your normal life, the next you’re in a room, in a place you’d hate to admit looked a little familiar from a show you’d watched in life.

Warnings: Male!Reader Male pronouns, not specified if there was a specific ship between reader- so there’s no romance, implied death, flirty angel, niftys bad boy obsession, reader is discribed as a goat, implied to be tall, all direct hazbin hotel characters; charlie, vaggie, alastor, nifty, pentious, husk, angel (all platonic), swearing NOT PROOFREAD, no mention of hair type/colour, bodytype or skin colour. Let me know if i missed anything!

You just got off working, and after a long crippling day of noise, customers, and well work, all you wanted to do was go home and get in bed.

Looking down at your phone you scrolled through your playlist, trying to find the right song, this walk needed motivation, you needed some umph to get you home and not curl up in a ball and sleep wherever.

While scrolling through your playlist, you failed to notice the manhole up head, uncovered and unassuming. Unfortunately, your walking never ceased.

Waking with your heart pounding, you through your legs off the bed immediately standing, but stalling. “Where the fuck,” You gaped, you spun around in a circle, a large click thump following your direction.

Peering down at the noise you gasped, hooves, big ones in fact. You took a few sharp inhales attempting to calm your heart rate down, you scanned the room. It was ruby red, but besides that blank, vacant with the bare bone essentials.

Behind you was a large window, covered with thick curtain. Carefully you stepped over to it, feeling uncoordinated in your body as you did, you pulled the curtain open.

Mouth falling open, throat closing unable to scream as you stared at the sight in front of you. A red sky, the pentagram overhead, you couldn’t believe no way. Trotting over to the dresser, you eyed your reflection, your horrified face looked back at you.

For the most part, you looked as you did before, albiet the new suit, horns, ears, and the slit eyes you had. Turning to an angle to scoffed at the sight of a tail, muttering to yourself you tucked it upward in the suit jacket and waddled to the door.

Sticking your neck out, you glanced left to right, declaring the cost clear, you stepped out. That was until you heard the disembodied sound of a radio transmitter behind you.

“Good evening voyager!” Shouting you turn defensively, and were met by a large smiling demon. “Holy fuck.” You say in awe staring down just slightly at the radio demon you familiarized yourself with.

“Contrary my dear friend! Nothing holy to me! Ha ha, please follow me, Charlie is ever so worried for you. Crashing down through the roof? Quite the entrance I must say.” The radio demon applauded, literally hearing a round of applause surround you two.

You followed as he pushed but you didn’t say much, this has to be a dream? You recognized him from a show, he’s not real. Although casting your eyes toward him as he strolled, humming along guiding you down the halls, you couldn’t deny the reality you saw.

He looked so 3D, there wasn’t anything animation behind him, he was right there, right in front of you more realistic and creepy than anything you’d ever seen.

“Here we are good sir! The lobby! Shall we?” Alastor questioned sticking his cane down the steps, after a muttered yeah, the two of you strolled down together.

“He’s up!” Charlie chortled shaking Vaggie who stood near her at the bar. “Yes i fetched him just as he tipped his horned head out! Impeccable timing, everyone has just gotten back.” Alastor exclaimed, while Charlie skipped up to you.

“Wow, so glad you’re okay! You came crashing through heh, I’m Charlie! So pleased to meet you,” With a pointy teethed smile you nod at her. “This is my girlfriend Vaggie,” Vaggie only grunted at you, arms crossed and eyeing you. Knowing what you knew, this wasn’t surprising to her this is real, and you could be like Alastor.

“This is Husk, he’s our bar tender, oh shit! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” Charlie stuttered, shaking her hands around her head jazzily. Chuckling you smiled at her. “Uh, thank you, for everything actually.”

“Ha, you kiddin kid, you fell through that ceiling like it was paper.” Husk gruffed out, leaning forward at his bar. “Yeah what’s that about?” Vaggie suddenly questioned.

“Guys! Intros first hello, okay, this is Angel Dust, another guest!” Angel dust sauntered up, smirking and sticking a claw at the bottom of your neck, dragging it up to your chin. “How ya doing sugar, I’m Angel, but i can be whatever you want me to be.” Angel practically moaned at you, smiling genuinely you chuckled. “I want you to be arms length away from me.”

You said it without any malice or disgust, genuinely enthralled you were standing in the middle of the characters you loved so much. “Ha! Nice try toots! The only way to keep me back, is via leash.” Laughing along with Angel ignoring the disgust from Alastor and the disappointment for Vaggie, you focused back on Charlie who rocked impatiently on her heels for your attention.

“Okay! This, wait where’s Nifty?” Pausing briefly as ever one checked their feet not seeing the little ball of speed anywhere. “She’ll turn up! Anyways this, is Pentious!” Charlie exclaimed moving onto the snake who stood stick straight.

It was evident he was nervous, so you walked toward him with an easy going smile, as easy going your sharp smile could be. “Hey Pentious, I think your fucking cool I love the inventions you make.” As if you presented the snake with the world itself, his eyes sparkled with admiration and appreciation. “Y-you’ve sseen my inventionsss?” Nodding at him with a smile, he perked up, clasping his hands near his cheek.

As he was in the middle of chanting thank you’s, the air dropped and suddenly the Tasmanian devil herself showed herself. Crawling up your body like a tree, the cyclops eyes you with a wicked evil smile. “Ouuu, you look like such a bad boy none of the others here are bad!” Nifty breathed demonically, pushing herself i. your face.

Again you couldn’t be mad or even scared instead you chuckled, Alastor appear alongside you. “Alrighty Nifty darling, why don’t you go collect some bugs to show him! He needs some christening into this wonderful world.”

That line momentarily stunned you, and you looked towards Alastor with a probably harsher look than you intended. “Ou okay, that’s a gooood idea.” Nifty said scuttling off, and though your eyes were focused on Alastor, he wasn’t even aware of you, paying more mind to the room around you.

Charlie looked to you, head tilted. “So mysterious man, you need a place to stay?” Smiling at her you looked around the room, this was an opportunity you wouldn’t miss out on. “Yeah, I’ll stay.”

[suniix]

06 | miyamura x reader

synopsis | miyamura notices you’ve been acting odd and asks you about it. you tell him about how you might’ve found someone special

word count | 1k+

note | im back guys 😭 sorry for the long wait and short chapter. also! i estimate there will be like maybe 3 more chapters for this story! maybe a one more or one less, depending how much i write per chapter

previous | mlist | next

It’s been two days since you first saw the mysterious pink guy.

Suddenly now he seemed to be everywhere. Every time you arrive at the school gates you’d see him. Every time you’d walk to the vending machines you’d see him. You’d even see him on your way to the bathroom!

You continued to see him walking down the halls and you wondered if only now that you were aware of his existence were you able to notice him more often.

Ever since your encounter with him you’ve been feeling odd, like seeing him reawakened a memory deep inside your brain. You tried to hide how you were feeling, but Miyamura noticed, you know he did.

It was obvious that something was on your mind by how often you spaced out, staring out into the hallway as if you were looking for something.

Or someone.

You tapped your nails against the desk, trying to focus on the teacher when your eyes caught movement outside your class. A mop of pink hair fluttered down the hall and you had to resist the urge to gasp. Him again!

Would it be weird if you left class to follow him? Surely class had to be over soon, the teacher had been talking for what felt like hours! But what would you even say to him? Tell him to popping up everywhere? It’s not like he was following you, if anything he could argue that you were the one following him!

As creepy as it was, you don’t think he was stalking you. Every time you looked at him he never met your eyes. His gaze was always focused elsewhere. You don’t even think he’s noticed you staring.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when someone tapped you on your shoulder. Miyamura is standing behind you looking concerned. “Hey, do you feel okay?”

A quick look around the class told you that class was in fact over. The students that remained were packing their bags and the teacher had already left for lunch.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Sorry, I didn’t sleep that much last night.” You make up an excuse that Miyamura would hopefully accept.

His face was enough to tell you he didn’t, but he didn’t comment on it. If you had something you wanted to tell him he wouldn’t pressure you into saying it.

“Come on, everyone’s left already. Yoshikawa wanted to eat somewhere else.” He held out his hand for you to take and you felt your heart flutter at the gesture.

You placed your hand in his and he gently pulled you up. In that moment as he led you out of class you felt your mind go blank. No thoughts of mysterious pink guy, no thoughts of mysterious old friend— nothing.

Just the warm feeling of his hand holding yours.

Lunch was almost enough to distract you.

Keyword: almost.

Yoshikawa had decided that she needed a change in scenery for lunch. The weather was nice so when she suggested everyone eat outside no one was against the idea.

You were especially happy with it. Maybe you’ve seen mysterious pink guy so often because you only hang out in the same places all the time.

Everyone took a seat at a table outside and spoke about random things as they unpacked their food. Slowly, your mind drifted away from mysterious pink guy as you joined in the conversation with your friends.

“Yoshikawa I’m telling you no one wants to steal your pens!”

“You literally stole my pen during our last project!”

Tooru huffed and crossed his arms. “I didn’t steal it! I borrowed it!”

“Without my permission! That’s stealing!” Yoshikawa argued back.

“Yoshikawa does have nice pens. If I was her I’d be super protective of them.” You joined in.

Tooru gasped at your betrayal and Miyamura chuckled.

You looked up from your food and nearly started choking when you saw the same pink hair you’ve been seeing for two days.

This had to be a coincidence.

“Woah! You okay there?” Tooru asked while Miyamura rushed to pat your back.

At the commotion the pink haired guy looked over and for the first time in two days you guys locked eyes.

Or maybe it was fate.

“I’m good!” You coughed out. “I just ate too fast.”

Miyamura handed you some water and you thanked him. “Don’t scare us like that.” Hori sighed.

You nervously chuckled. “My bad..”

Lunch continued, but you didn’t participate in the conversation after that.

After a while lunch ended. You all gathered your trash and began to head back to class. As your friends continued to walk ahead you lingered back, hoping to spot a hint of pink somewhere in the crowd.

“(Y/n)?”

You quickly turned forward to see Hori. “Oh! Hey Hori!” You quickly sputtered out, hoping she didn’t notice you looking for someone.

“Remember that guy from the student council room? I found out his name; it’s Akane Yanagi.”

“Yanagi..” You mumbled. He has a pretty name, it matches his appearance.

“Come on now,” Hori linked arms with you. “We have to keep walking or else we’ll be late.”

Hori pretended to not notice your dazed look.

The walk home was silent, but you felt as though your mind was going to explode with all your thoughts. You couldn’t decide what you should do.

He knows he told himself he wouldn’t force you to say what was bothering you, but he couldn’t stand seeing you look so distressed. Maybe all you needed was a small push to show he was here to listen.

He stopped in his tracks and called your name when he saw you kept walking. You stopped and turned around, about to ask him why he stopped when he gestured for you to follow him.

“Um.. Miyamura? Where are we going?” You asked. “We were about to get home..”

He smiled and you felt your heart jump. “It’s a secret.”

You didn’t say much after that, thinking about how your heart kept reacting to him. You already had enough to worry about with mysterious pink guy, there was no time to think about how your feelings for Miyamura weren’t going away!

“We’re here.”

The two of you stopped right in front of a park.

The park was small but cute, there was a grassy area along with a small pond. In it were two ducks swimming side by side. The walk here was so short you were shocked you didn’t notice this place earlier. Maybe I should have explored the neighborhood more..

Miyamura led you over to a pair of swings and took a seat on one. You sat down and began to gently swing your legs. After a moment of silence Miyamura broke it.

“So, wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”

You stopped swinging and pretended to look confused.

“You’ve been acting a bit weird these days. You don’t have to tell me, but know that I’m always here to listen.”

His words hit you harder than you expected. Out of all your friends he was the one to notice you were acting odd. Well, maybe the others noticed too, but he was the one to reassure you he was willing to listen.

You clear your throat, gently digging your shoe into the dirt. “Well, remember how I told you when I was little I had a friend?”

He nodded, feeling his heart begin to speed up.

“Two days ago when I was with Hori I saw this guy and… I think it’s him.”

Miyamura felt his heart drop.

“He was just.. He reminded me so much of him, I don’t really know why.”

As you kept talking Miyamura felt himself spiral. How could this happen? Was this his punishment for not being honest with you earlier?

“Miyamura?”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “So? What do you think?”

He could only manage a shaky ‘mmm?’. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear you ask a question.

“Do you think it could be him? After all these years?” You repeated, fiddling with your fingers.

Miyamura thought about it.

You were asking him for advice, advice you’d very likely listen to. He could tell you how the chances of him being your mysterious old friend were slim to none (because he was your old friend) or how anything in the world was possible (because you somehow found him again).

“Maybe.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe?”

“You won’t know until you talk to him.”

You look down at your lap, processing his words. You get off the swing, feeling nervous for what was to come.

You’ve made up your mind.

“You’re right.”

thank you for reading till the end! :D

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[pyrookami]

The call

Fren normally loved working with David. That was usually because the lone human on the small supply depot in the void between solar systems was not normally this quiet and strange. Fren's species did have trouble with humans expressive faces since their own was mainly carapace and they communicated feelings through pheromones. But this cycle David's usual smile was gone and his laughter that would ring out through comms whenever he told a bad joke or saw a skree mating dance was now silent. In their external excursion suits, or as David called them "jogging suits," Fren could only see a part of David's face as he floated in the zero gravity for some reason starring off into the darkness for some reason.

After watching silently for a moment as both David and his special vacuum welding tools simply floated Fren decided enough was enough and keyed his communicator.

"Engineer David you have been staring off into space for approximately ten units is there a problem?"

Strangely the human appeared to flinch at the sudden breaking of the silence, odd since in Fren's experience very little could actually harm the death world species. so quieter and with less intensity he keyed his comm.

"Engineer David are you all right?"

It took a few moments for an answer to come forth from the human as he collected his tools from around him and seemed to gather his thoughts at the same time.

"Sorry boss kinda got lost in thought there for a moment. It wont happen again ill finish up these last couple seals and we can head back into the nice cozy station."

There it was his usual tone and even a bit of laughter. what thoughts could have caused such a jovial creature such dark and pensive silence for so long?

"If you do not mind Friend David. What thoughts were you lost in that had your usual joviality overwhelmed?"

With a chuckle David began welding two metal composite sheets together to patch the meteorite hole before answering.

"Oh it was just the call of the void messing with my mood. Wondering how it would go if i was to drift off into the literal void you know what i mean?"

in shock Fren stared at the human, to the human who had trouble with the blank faces of the arachnian it was hard to tell what was going on as it seemed that there was something wrong. after looking around to make sure nothing was behind him David maneuvered over to his eight-legged counterpart and waved a hand in front of Fren's primary eyes. the motion achieved its goal of pulling Fren out of his shocked stupor only for the arachnian to embrace his human coworker with four limbs and use his remaining free limbs to maneuver the duo to the air lock. Fren did not release his friend until the air lock ha d cycled and opened into the interior of the station.

"WHOA HEY!"

"Engineer David you are to report to doctor Shulo immediately for psychiatric evaluation and are not to work until i have a clean mental bill of health for you and your thoughts of self termination have ceased."

Before the human could respond he was forced out of the airlock and it was closed behind him.

"Well time to freak out the doc i guess."

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hii love, how are you doing? 🫶🏻

so, i just read your latest pietro hcs and it's SO GOOD😭 (like everything else that you write, i'm literally in love with your writing) and i had an idea

can i request an angry love confession from pietro after him and the reader go to a mission together and she puts herself at risk to save him?

like, they're friends with benefits, but are distant bc both of them had developed feelings for each other, but neither say anything bc they think the other only wants sex, like you said. the reader putting herself at risk during the mission to save pietro it's the last straw for him, he gets angry and freaked out by the idea of losing her. so, after the mission, they're arguing and it ends up leading to an angry love confession 😏😏

hii lovie!! im sorry this has taken so long, it took me ages to figure out how to get them out of the danger part, so I took a break from it and had no luck so left that part blank. but you’ll see what I mean😭 and im doing well, hope you are too. thank you :(( you’re so sweet!! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

MISTAKES AND CONFESSIONS

pietro maximoff x female reader

word count. 869

link to fwb hc’s

As of late, things with Pietro have been a little confusing - tricky, if you will - the complications of being friends with benefits making themselves more apparent after every meet-up.

Everything was going well, all going as planned, until the unforeseen moment when you actually fell in love with him. At the beginning of your elevated friendship, you both promised it would be strictly hook-ups, no strings attached, nothing else. And that's what you did - up until three weeks ago. 

After a while, you found yourself declining his invitations to meet up, like you were starting to pull back from him. It grew more difficult to be around someone so unattainable, to have the constant reminder of his romantic disinterest, so instead, you withdrew yourself to make it less painful. 

So now, when you cross paths at the compound, instead of a nervous hidden smile behind your hand, you avoid his gaze completely - turning your attention to the weather app on your phone.

It wasn't easy to ignore him, but it was getting there - that's what you told yourself, anyway. 

All of your attempts to avoid Pietro got flipped on its head when the two of you got paired together for a mission - to retrieve intel from an enemy base. It was supposed to be a low-risk assignment: get in, collect the information and get out, but nothing is ever that simple.

As soon as you and Pietro stepped foot in the room of said intel, you noticed a red hue shine from under his foot. You immediately tugged at his arm, halting his movements when you realised what you had both walked into.

"Pietro! Wait, wait, wait," you call out, gripping at his upper arm. "Don't move. Keep still," you ramble, eagerly looking around the space.

"What is it?"

"The room— it's got these— I don't know, just keep still," you breathe out a reply, feeling flustered. 

"It's okay," Pietro offers a brief moment of reassurance, keeping his eyes glued ahead - keeping still as instructed. "Are you okay? Are you on one, too?" he hesitantly asks.

"No, no, but you are and— I don't know what to do. Nat taught me what to do with these and— god, why isn't my brain working?" you mumble, frustratedly speaking your mind when you think about the possibility of something awful actually happening to Pietro - to both of you.

"Draga, it's fine. Really, it's okay," he whispers, slowly extending his hand behind, like he was awkwardly reaching for you.

"No, keep still— please. Just let me think," 

"You should go,"

"No, give me a minute," 

"Please, milovat. You need to go,"

"I said no. Just give me a second,"

You even your breathing, running an uneasy hand over your forehead as you assess your surroundings. 

----- after ------ (im sorry about this, my brain broke)

You avoid each other's gaze, separately processing everything that happened - how you were both about to be blown to pieces, how you were willing to let yourself die to get Pietro out.

"That was so stupid," Pietro mutters, keeping his eyes fixed on a tree ahead.

"Excuse me?" you reply, neck whipping around to face him.

"That was so stupid," he repeats, emphasising each word.

"Are you kidding?" you snicker. "If you had minded where you were going we wouldn't have had to done all that."

"So you're saying it's my fault?" he retorts, face grimacing.

"Yes. I am," you retaliate. "It's your fault."

You both sigh, growing frustrated with the conversation. It was as if there was so much left unsaid, it all coming together like a whirlwind of mixed emotions - everything from your failed 'relationship' to no contact to just now. It was like you were both holding back on everything, too scared to bring up the subject that tarnished your original friendship. 

"I told you to go, and you didn't. That's not on me. That's on you! Don't blame me for things we both messed up on."

"Me? That's rich,"

"Yes, you! Nothing is ever your fault, is it?" he sneers, the argument changing subject.

"You never listen! Always thinking about yourself,"

"Bullshit," he dryly chuckles, unamused smile on his face.

"I don't want to do this. It's boring and tiring," you cave, waving your hands in sign of defeat. "I give up. You win."

Pietro huffs, rubbing over his temples. "If you had just gone..." he murmurs, talking at the floor.

"I couldn't! I couldn't leave you,"

"Yes, you could. You should've gone. You could have died," Pietro's words soften as if it all hit him how real it was - how he could have lost you again, but for good. "You could've died."

"So could you," you turn to face him, meeting his saddened eyes. 

His hands drop to his side as he steps towards you, walking to close the gap - the closest you had been in weeks. He keeps his gaze solely on you, looking over you like you're no longer a distant memory, like he was seeing you in a new light - the way he was supposed to see you.

He cups your cheeks, holding your face in his hands. "I could have lost you again."

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

pietro taglist: @astermath @thewinterv @earth-elemental18 @lunnnix @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @randomawesomeperson102 @queerponcho @selfryed @daenerys-supremacy @dontknownameauthor @mrsbarnesxxx @honestly-who-even-is-this @simplyreflected @apxtowiris

[quitealotofsodapop]

So if Wukong didn't know MK was playing superhero, why was he able to be caught by Spider Queen? The answer is clear. He took the younger cubs down to see the parade. That way, he could be closer to the fireworks, and his kids are entertained. He ended up being caught up in the initial attack and discovered MK playing hero while trying to evacuate the cubs away from the angry spider lady trying to turn people into spider zombies.

Wukong is not happy, but at this point there are far more important things to deal with. He orders MK to get his siblings somewhere safe while he handles Spider Queen. When MK protests, he tells him that MK's arachnophobia would only get in the way, and he is still Sun Wukong, the gods be damned Great Sage Equal To Heaven and the Monkey King. He isn't so far into his retirement that he can't put an upstart little princess in her place.

The plan backfires and Wukong gets captured by LBD and Spider Queen, of course, but hey, the Noodle Crew gets to meet MK's siblings! Sandy babysits them while they're in Heaven trying to get the stuff. All they know of it is that MK's mom was caught by the Spider Queen, they don't know yet exactly who his parent is. Not until much later when Wukong and DBK break out of their bonds and save them.

"Holy shit, is that Sun Wukong!?" ;Probably Tang

"Mom!" :MK

"MOM!?" :Literally eveyone

After all is said and dine Wukong makes good on his promise of a long talk, or rather lecture, and MK is grounded.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE SO RECKLESS! Xiaotian, your father an I taught you better than this! What were you thinking!?"

"But when you were my age you were at war with Heaven, though!"

"And look what that got me! Thrown in a furnace and pinned under a mountain for 500 years! What you did was stupid and reckless. What if you'd gotten hurt!? Your still mortal, MK!"

Referencing.

Yesss. Wukong canonically adores New Years, and I def agree that love extends to the cubs too.

Wukong does a "surprise" visit to Megapolis to show the younger cubs the New Years Parade + check up on his eldest while MK is helping Pigsy with the foodtruck. Likely all in glamours, but MK 100% gets an embarassing visit from his mom at work. The Noodle shop gang tease him endlessly about it.

Then cue the Spider Queen's invasion, and Wukong giving MK the cubs to watch for the moment while he Kings Up. MK doesn't want his mom to go in his condition, but Wukong is still The Monkey King, and has no idea that his son has been superhero-ing for the past couple of months.

The gang all meet up on Sandy's airship, and the kiddos glamours all drop from stress. This is where the gang confirms (they had suspiscions) that MK is a disguised demon - they dont mind since thats sadly common in human-dominated cities. MK specifically being a monkey demon gets Tang asking questions though.

Red Son shows up and has a brain-fart mid-plan when he recognises who "Noodle Boy" actually is;

Red Son: "Xiaotian!? I haven't seen you since we were calves! This explains so much!" MK, nervous sweating: "Not now dude! My mom got captured by the Spider Queen, and my dad is MIA right now." Red Son: "Ah but of course. Seems we have the same predicament then. No fear, I have a plan to defeat the Spider Queen and save our respective parents." Tang, panic-nerding: "MK, how do you know Red Son!?" MK, flash of SWK-esque anger: "NOT NOW."

The gang get to the Celestial Realm and retrieve what they need to make the antidote - though not without attracting the attention of a certain hound that just realised her fave monkey is here.

MK, petting the dog: "I'm sorry Quan. I can't play right now! I'm saving the city." Xiaotian Quan: (*sad whine!*)

Meanwhile at the Spider Mech; DBK has finally met his little brother/enemy once again. DBK in his anger, yells about Sun Wukong's "little-thief successor MK" ruining so many of his family's attempts at gaining power, and Wukong just blanks;

Wukong, scary parent voice: "Xiaotian has been doing what!?" DBK: "The Little Thief is Xiaotian!?"

DBK would also shout at Wukong for putting himself in danger in his condition, but quiets when he learns that Macaque is missing. Tieshan had seemed worried since DBK got back (infact, maybe its why she decided to free him), and everyone knows that the shadow monkey wouldn't leave his mate without reason. When LBD arrives, DBK and Wukong immediate get a chill up their spines. They both know that she's somehow involved with Mac's disappearance... DBK has his super-saiyan moment of worried-anger and frees both himself and his xiandi so that they can find their reckless kids.

The Noodle Shop gang (+ Red Son and the cubs) bust on through with the spider-venom antidote and manage to subdue the Spider Queen with their combined forces.

Tang is about to fanboy at the sight of Sun Wukong in the flesh when MK and the cubs yell something that shatters his preconceptions.

MK & the cubs: "Mom!" "Mama!" Noodle Shop Gang: "MOM?!?" Wukong, swarmed by baby monkeys: "Thank Nuwa you're all ok!" (*hugs them all tight*) Wukong: (*suddenly bonks MK on head with a sandal*) Wukong: "And you! How dare you not tell me that you've been fighting demons this whole time! You told me you were only getting a job for mortal experience!" MK: "But mom! I did get a job! I've been using my spare time trying to figure out what happened to dad!" Wukong: "Which I specifically told you Not to do!! Your father has gotten himself tangled up with a very dangerous witch and I'm not letting you run into one of her traps!" Noddle Shop Gang + DB fam: (*standing at a safe distance from the yelling*) Tang, dizzy with excitement: "Anyone else feel like they're in a fantasy right now?" Mei: "Hm, not really. I knew Xiaotian since we were pups. My grunkle Ao Lie is the same dragon-horse from the stories." Tang: "Excuse me!?"

Erlang shows up on Earth asking Wukong tf just happened - his third eye showed him the chaos in the Celestial Realm and Lao Tzu is pissed for his missing pills and Furnace. But he immediately leaves when he sees tje carnage of a saved mortal city + Sun Wukong. (Erlang: "Ah. Say no more.")

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 6

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smutty smutty smut; talk of Reader's anxiety; drunkenness; New Girl spoilers (if you’ve never watched the show and don’t wanna know things!); absent parent thoughts; heavy petting; oral sex f!receiving; fingering; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex; spanking (hehe); Reader is stubborn; Jake is stubborn (if i missed any that may have triggered you, please let me know!!)

Chapter Word Count: 24.5k+ (damn. i'm v sorry lmao)

Covet Masterlist

a/n: welllll, after summer school (that shit really took it out of me), one vacation w my whole fam, two gvf shows with my sis @joshym, an extended vaca in nash (bc we just HAD to!!), and INSANE writer's block....... HERE IS CHAPTER 6! finally! i'm insanely sorry it took so damn long. thank you all for being the fkn B E S T and so understanding and the best gresties/readers a girl could ask for! <3333 ("heart eyes, motherfucker" - that's how i feel about u all :) (also if u remember that vine, ily even more now))

i hope you enjoyyyy ;)

-🌼🌼🌼-

At the beginning of July, you were stacking a shipment of some blues records in a bin at work, your mind in a blank space, which naturally moved you to think of the one person who was seemingly always at the back of your mind.

Jake.

He’d really just taken up residence in your brain, as he had in your home.

He was still on his shit. You know, acting like a pouting child, barely acknowledging you. Even after you’d literally bared yourself to him, pussy out, nipples pebbled in the open air. . . 

You blew a breath through your lips, and tucked hair behind both ears, readjusting your thought process. 

Now he seemed set on only acting like an ass after your time in the cramped bathroom had been cut short. Before, he’d taken the time to still seek you out. After the incident in your bedroom, he’d literally shown up at the B&G, begging you to come see him.

Were you just not worth it to him anymore?

You rolled your eyes to yourself, focusing on stuffing records in the bin alphabetically. 

It. Didn’t. Matter. He didn’t matter.

Really.

And you knew he didn’t matter because it wasn’t hard for you when you finally decided to play into his behavior—his little game. You didn’t stop yourself when you started to match his energy. It was easy to act as though you didn’t care about him. 

Because you didn’t. 

All you really needed was to satisfy that itch and then—then, you’d be good. 

But as you came across a re-release of a Howlin’ Wolf record, you suddenly became slightly disheartened at the thought of it all. What if this wasn’t a game for him? What if he was actually so upset that he just decided you weren’t worth it? Would you ever get as close as you had at the gig again? Did he still want you like he had in the bathroom that night? Or in your bed the night before Baby’s?

You shivered as you (once again) thought of his hardened dick pressed up against your leg. You could hear his voice, low and sultry.

“That’s what you do to me.” 

Fuck. Did you still do that to him? You hoped so.

Then there was the feeling of him pressing into you, your bare ass on the cold ceramic of the sink, leaning your body into him, craving more—so close. 

God.

You frustratedly groaned and shoved the vinyl in its place and shook your head. It didn’t matter. Really. But you couldn’t help your heart falling at the idea of him not wanting you like you wanted him. 

All you could do was hope that he still wanted it—wanted you, like he had before. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You'd also started July deciding that in order to keep some sense of dignity, it would be best to not go see Jake perform. Especially if it was possible he’d completely closed himself off the idea of you. 

It was humiliating to be a try hard.

You would distance yourself from that part of his life, if he was going to ignore you and distance himself in your shared home. 

Did you want to see him play again? Hell freakin’ yes. It had been such an intimate experience that first night. You’d felt so privileged to witness it the way you had then, up close to share his emotions as he played, holding his eyes almost any time he’d looked up at you. You’d been taking in every flick of his fingers, every thrust into the back of his guitar, the concentration on his sweaty face . . . and he’d wanted you to watch. He’d wanted you there, in that moment, with him.

You could still see him clear as day, tanned skin glowing in the B&G, his eyes golden in the evening sun, pleading with you. . .

“I really want you there.”

When you’d gone to their last shows in June, all you wanted was to feel that way again. Connected to him. Close to him. You wanted it so badly—but it seemed he didn’t want it anymore. He hadn’t looked at you once during any of the shows. To be fair, you had been standing so far towards the back that it’s possible he hadn’t even known you were there. But, he hadn’t even tried to seek you out to ask you to come like he had before (if it really was possible he thought you weren’t there). 

Things were just different than before. 

So, yeah. It was best that you didn’t go. You didn’t want to seem desperate or possibly annoy him with your presence just in case he did see you at a show. You’d made up your mind that it was obvious he didn’t want you there. He wanted things like they currently were. 

And it wasn’t so much that it hurt to have him act so aloof and absent and uncaring. It didn’t hurt. Really. You’d tried to convince yourself that he was just making you angry. Nothing more.

So, you just continued to play his game however well you could. It wasn’t that important. 

Though, any time he left the apartment, looking deliciously ready for a performance, all you wanted to do was follow. But instead, all you’d actually do was look at him from wherever he passed you in the apartment. You’d glare at him, matching his pissy behavior as long as he continued to show it. 

But you’d eventually noticed that his eyes weren’t always holding irritation when he passed you. . .sometimes, you could have sworn his eyes held more longing than anything. 

Although, as soon as you’d think you saw it, he was already gone. And you would eventually decide that you’d imagined it.

You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if it was possible that underneath his moodiness he did still want you?

All you wanted was to understand what he was feeling. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

So, after not going to their shows for the first couple weeks of July, Josh had finally reached out on the night of one, asking if you’d come because he ‘missed seeing you’.

You initially wanted to send a text back that said: ‘No, sorry. Your brother sucks and I’m mad at him right now. And if I go all I’ll want to do is fuck him senseless after watching him play, even though he probably doesn’t want that at all. So, I have to decline.’ 

But, then you guiltily started thinking of how you needed to support your best friend and the other two guys. It was incredibly rude of you to not go see Josh, Sam, and Danny do their thing simply because Jake was a pain in the ass that you couldn’t figure out. 

You wanted to support your friends. Support Josh.

So that’s why you ended up texting an ‘Of course! What time?’ in response. 

And as you got ready that night, you pulled on a cropped Cream T-shirt, thinking momentarily of your roommate. Would he like it if he saw it? Or would it piss him off?

Pushing it out of your mind, you focused on how excited you were now, the idea of getting to see them live again. 

The guys put on a helluva show; they were absolutely magnificent, so magnetic. 

Once you felt totally ready to go, you secured an Uber to pick you up, already planning to have a few drinks to ease your mind at the show.

As you put your shoes on, you thought. . . The thing that made you most excited really wasn’t seeing the band perform again as a whole. It wasn’t even the thought of seeing Josh. It was getting to simply be near Jake again, pathetic as it may sound. And the thought of seeing him play again. . . Fuck. Watching him was so enticing. He was like a drug. . .always drawing you in.

There was no denying the way your stomach fluttered at the thought of watching him perform again. Because even though he was pissing you off and you had no earthly clue how in the hell he was feeling, watching him perform was unlike any adrenaline rush you’d ever experienced. 

(Save for the feeling of your blood pumping erratically at the feeling of him tucked between your legs. That was a feeling unlike anything else.)

-🌼🌼🌼-

Like you had at shows before, you sat at the back to witness the performance. 

It had been great, per usual. Jake had left you wanting him from your seat. And just like it had been at the shows in June, he never failed to make you feel incredibly stupid for stopping things in the bathroom the night of their first show. 

Yet now, while they performed their encore, you hadn’t left the venue like you normally did. You hadn’t tried to get the hell out of dodge. 

No, tonight, you stood at the outdoor bar area connected to the back of the venue. It was set in a huge space covered in bright green turf, a small patio with a couple of tables, and plenty of Edison bulb string lights to set the cool mood of the place. 

There were even a couple of ping pong tables and a cornhole game set up for people to play at. A random sporting event was drawing in a few college-aged men, on a giant flat screen TV.

Although, unlike those men, it wasn’t your choice to be hanging out in the open area. You had wanted to avert to your normal plan of leaving to go home with a quick ‘proud of you!’ text to Josh. 

You wanted to avoid Jake seeing you at all costs. But Josh had inadvertently seen to it that you wouldn’t get away with that plan again.

He’d apparently caught onto your little trick. Before you could begin to type a text, and before they’d even come out for their encore, Josh had sent a text. Or three. 

Josh, 10:23 p.m.: Don’t you dare leave.

Josh, 10:23 p.m.: I really want to see you and give you a hug 

Josh, 10:24 p.m.: I don’t see you nearly enough these days and I miss you dearly and I really want to have just one drink with you after the show. Pleeeeaaaase

So, here you were, outside before the set even totally ended, standing at the bar, downing another lemon drop to calm your nerves. You really just wanted to be home, with Stevie snoring against your calves. 

You were not totally ready to be in the same area as Jake for an extended amount of time.

You were just asking for your another beer when you felt someone sidle up beside you. The nudge against your shoulder, and the familiar hint of patchouli in his cologne, made you grin at your best friend.

“One salty dog for me,” Josh said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. After a nod, the bartender went to get his drink ready, and he turned you fully into him to give you a big hug. 

It felt so safe. . . but you couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to be this close to Jake instead.

When you pulled away, you momentarily closed your eyes, collecting your thoughts. When you opened them, you watched as he placed an elbow on the bar and a hand on his hip. His eyebrow went up. 

“Great job tonight. I’m so prou—.”

“Why haven’t you let me know your anxiety’s been flaring up again?” He interrupted, obviously worried.

You blinked once. What? “What?”

“Last month, you kept fleeing before I could even take a breath after a set. I figured you were just trying to get some sleep with your summer classes starting. But then you just stopped coming altogether,” he scooted in closer to you. His voice got lower, his eyes concerned. “I just wanted to put eyes on you. I’ve been so busy; I haven’t had time to check on you like normal. My schedule is shit. I figured this would be a way for me to see you and make sure you’re doing alright,” he continued, reaching his hand up to lightly rub your shoulder. “It came later this time. I expected it to get bad at the end of May, but it never came. What’s going on? Are you okay? Are you eating?”

Your cheeks pinkened. With your concern for avoiding Jake at these gigs, you hadn’t even taken time to think about how your behavior might have worried Josh. Of course he’d been thinking deeply about your absence. He cared so much for you, and was a sole confidant on multiple occasions of your depression induced anxiety flare-ups. And, to be fair, being flighty usually signaled the beginning of your bigger bouts with your superb anxiety-depression combo.  

You’d had a few times in your friendship where it had gotten really bad. Definitely a trauma response, almost always coming with a change in season. For some reason, the change in leaves, flowers blooming — it always made you think of just how much your mom had broken you. You didn’t get to appreciate the beauty without it being tainted by darkness. Your mother's leaving had come right at the turn of fall into winter. 

There had been a few times after Elsie left when it got so bad that Josh’d insisted he stay with you. With your sister around, he wouldn’t always stay the night when it hit you, but he’d check on you at work, and hover with texts, food, and quality time until he felt you were better.

But this had nothing to do with your mother. And really, your anxiety wasn’t bad. Jake wasn’t causing you anxiety for you at all right now. You didn’t know what you were feeling. Were you on edge around Jake at all times? Yes. But it wasn’t anxiety. It definitely wasn’t depression. Sadness that he could possibly not want you, yes. But it wasn’t something dark like the thought your mother might bring. You didn’t know what it was. 

You just knew you had to reassure Josh.

“I’m okay,” you looked into his eyes and reached out to hold his hand on the bar. “Yes, I’m eating. I’m just—feeling a lot right now? I don’t know. It’s weird,” you shook your head and removed your hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. How could you explain this to him? You couldn’t. “Just a lot going on in my head.” 

He studied you, squinted his eyes. “Is there something I should know about?” He questioned, his voice getting crisper as he tried to make pieces click. Your stomach dropped. “You’re being vague. You’re sure it’s not—?”

“No,” you shut your eyes, huffing a frustrated breath. “Yes. I’m—it’s just—I don’t know.” Improvise, improvise, improvise. “When Elsie was in town, we talked about my mom. I’ve just been in my feelings, I guess. And, yeah, summer classes have started and that’s added some pressure, too. But it’s not anxiety or depression or anything,” you connected eyes with him again, and reached to squeeze his hand. “I promise.”

He still didn’t seem convinced. You weren’t surprised. He was an empath after all. He shouldn’t be convinced. He knew better than to believe that was all it was. But you didn’t want him knowing any better than an assumption in his head. And as long as the assumption didn’t have anything to do with his brother, you were okay with whatever he was assuming. And, you being in a weird headspace because of your mom wasn’t a lie. You truly had been. He’d even witnessed it at the coffee shop. 

It just wasn’t the whole truth. The biggest thing was something he absolutely couldn’t know: the way your mind had been swarmed with Jake, Jake, Jake for the past months. And it’d only gotten worse with the past couple . . .events.

The thought of Josh catching on to anything about his brother continued to make you fearful of him possibly being cross with you over it. Or worse, made you fear him feeling betrayed by you. You didn’t want him upset or thinking poorly of you for possibly distracting Jake in any way. 

You couldn't be to Jake what his ex had been. And you feared Josh’s mind would go to that immediately—out of protection for his brother. Rightfully so.

His eyes settled back to normal, accepting your answer for the time being. His eyes curved down with understanding. “I saw you watching that girl and her mom at the coffee shop. I should’ve known.”

All you could do was nod. You didn’t know what more to say to cover your ass. 

You cleared your throat, signaling you were ready for a change of topic. “Enough about me. How are you feeling about all of these amazing shows, rockstar?”

He grinned wide, letting his worries go as a drink landed in front of him. 

And in no time, things were like they’d always been. 

Just you and Josh, not a lingering thought for Jake’s moods as you let yourself listen to his twin’s many thoughts and feelings of this new life of his.

You just had to try your best to ignore the way your heart leapt in your chest at any mention of Jake’s name in a story.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

I wasn’t prepared for the sight of her as I walked out onto the back area of the establishment. 

And fuck it all, if she wasn’t the first thing my eyes found in that slightly crowded space. It would be impossible for her not to be—she was most definitely the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. 

But my heart immediately dropped when it registered that she was holding Josh’s hand, talking animatedly with him. It would be stupid for me to assume she’d come for anyone else but him. 

I had thought for sure that she’d been interested—wanted me—that night at Baby’s All Right. She’d said so much the night before that —her being so open with me at our home, right before we’d kissed for the first time in the hallway. 

Then, that night at Baby’s. . .I’d been so close to her, feeling her swollen pussy, still wet from my mouth, on the head of my cock. The way her body had thrummed around me. . .making my body need more. 

But just before I was inside of her, she’d heard my brother and her mind had gone immediately to him. Only caring what he thought. 

I didn’t know what to think about what they had between them. It was very possible that they were just friends—best friends. I knew that was likely the case. 

(And if I were thinking reasonably—it was definitely the case from how Josh talked about her sister.)

But my ways of reasonable thinking had been shot to shit these days. 

I’d been burned by assuming something similar in the past. The whole “just friends” thing was a cover I wasn't too fond of. Thanks to the woman I’d loved in the past, my trust was shot and I had become a primarily “glass half empty” thinker. My past had bit me in the fuckin’ ass. 

But y/n—she made me feel electric again—full of life. She was the most beautiful symbol of a fresh start. A fresh start I’d been craving—a feeling I’d been chasing for years. 

I truly hadn’t felt so full of possibility since I was 16. Even when we’d bicker, I felt this glimmer of hope for my life. . . She was a natural light. 

I just wanted her so bad, going dizzy at the sight of her . . . And that was a feeling I hadn’t ever felt with any other woman. My brain was almost always fuzzy when she was near. 

She was absolutely breathtaking, every movement she made that had her hair flowing in slow motion around her head, the way her eyes hooded when it was just the two of us. . . but even better, the way her eyes shined, so bright, all the time. She was positively heaven sent. 

And I’d be an idiot to think she’d want me more than my brother—who she’d known for years, who she was instantly drawn to at all times. They had natural chemistry. Anyone with two eyes could see it. 

She deserved a light that matched her own. Could I capture that light? Yes, I knew I could. But I’d been so terrible to her from the get-go; I wouldn’t blame her gravitating towards Josh—feeling safer with him. 

Like he always said, he was the sun, and I was the moon. I naturally came with darkness. I’d made it clear enough by acting like an asshole for the first portion of my time living with her. 

People who knew me knew I was notoriously terrible at reacting to hurt. I didn’t naturally know how to handle my emotions like Josh was practically born knowing to do. 

And the moment I laid eyes on her that first night at the apartment—when she’d opened the door. . .her hair falling against her sweet face, her eyes opening to show me the most beautiful color I’d ever seen. I knew then that I was a goner. 

But it’d seemed to be terrible timing at that instant. Feeling so drawn to her—it was coming right after I’d had the biggest life change. My heart was hurting—not necessarily broken, just . . . lost.

And I didn’t want her to be involved in the hopeless sea I’d been drowning in since my past troubles had come crashing down around me. 

Though, when I’d first seen her, standing there, the evening sun hitting her stunning face in her doorway— I felt like all of the pirates I loved to study. I’d found a hidden treasure I couldn’t even imagine could be so beautiful— just around the bend for so long, finally in my grasp. 

But I hadn’t known her. I hadn’t even met her. She was a treasure that wasn't mine to enjoy.

And I truly needed to heal, without bringing someone else down with me. I was scared of all I was feeling, and I only knew to react with bluntness, rudeness, irritation at every fucking turn. I’d even brought girls to bed to try to get her the fuck out of my mind. 

But it never happened. She was persistently there, in my everyday routine, in the eyes of the girls I'd mindlessly fuck. She'd sealed a sweet spot in my brain. 

But I’d still kept up with the douchebag act.

It was so unfair.

She’d tried so hard to be friendly, and I never greeted it well. I hadn’t known what to make of it all. That first night, Josh had said we were the same. Though, as he’d said this, I’d been watching her—so peaceful and beautiful, deep in a surely dreamful sleep. 

It’d instantly made my stomach dip when he said it. . . I knew well enough that she couldn’t be the same as me. 

But she was the same as Josh—pure, unadulterated bright, yellow sunshine. She was the sun on a spring day, flowers blooming and the grasses so green. Not a cloud in sight. 

But I was the cloud in her flawless sky. I’d been reminded of that when she’d stopped us at Baby's, saying she didn’t want Josh to know. It seemed she didn’t want to take a chance on people knowing we’d been so close.

I could only assume she didn’t want that darkness in her life, and I didn’t blame her. 

So I’d separated myself from her.

After that night, when Josh had told me of her being at our other gigs in June, I’d brushed it off. I knew why she was there—for Josh. I hadn’t even tried to seek her out because I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want me near her. Didn’t want people to know how close we had been. 

How well her body shaped to mine in secret— and it was just that: a secret she wanted kept. 

Especially wanted it kept from Josh. To him, she wanted us to be strictly roommates. So that’s what I’d decided I’d be for her. 

I’d wanted to ask her to come to shows after our little stint, but I fought the urge every time it came on. I wanted her there, I fed off of her energy—she made me play better. But, I didn’t want to rub her the wrong way after she’d put her foot down in the bathroom. I didn’t want to come off too strong. 

I’d also given my best attempt to not let my feelings show in the past weeks. It had been so hard anytime I’d meet her beautiful eyes. Her eyes that, over the past week, had seemed to turn from something hopeful when she looked my way to what could only be called disdain —disdain for me.

I had been an asshole, and she was better than that . . . 

But, still, all I wanted was her. I wanted to take back everything I’d said or done out of hurt, due to not knowing how to handle my mess of feelings. 

I wished I could go back to day one and make things different. I wished I could go back in time to stop myself from becoming a slab of stone to cope with my feelings. If I would have just been myself. . . Maybe I’d have her now— ever-endearing and enrapturing.

Fuck. And as I watched her tousle Josh’s hair, I just wanted to feel her fingers in mine again. My heart twinged with jealousy at the action.

“Look who’s here!” 

Sam’s loud voice snapped me out of my reverie. I continued to watch her, her smile widened at Sam’s voice, looking in his direction, and away from Josh. Then, without warning, she looked over to me as I was still studying her face—the way her full lips stretched to show her beautiful beam. 

But as soon as she looked at me, her smile fell. And all I wanted in that moment was for her smile to get bigger when she saw me, just as it had when she saw Sam.

I just wanted her. 

I decided at that moment, I was going to bite the bullet. I could make one more move to be close to her again. And if there was one moment where she acted as if she didn’t want it, I’d back off. 

But right now? I couldn’t see that happening. Couldn't see her backing off. She didn’t pull her eyes from mine, and I never let my gaze fall from hers. She held me with her stare, and I held her with mine. 

It was just us.

And as I came up on her other side, opposite Josh, she never broke eye contact with me, turning from my twin. And even as Sam and Danny traveled behind me, she only looked at me. 

I watched her chest rise and fall, the swell of her breasts making my mouth run dry from where they peeked out at the makeshift tear at the top of her shirt. The sugary sweet smell of her perfume made all of my senses lurch forward, wanting to take her—all of her— right at that moment.  

I was close enough to see the shine from the Edison bulbs around us, reflecting in her irises. 

Daniel and Sam came up to give her hugs, honestly acting completely oblivious to what was transpiring between us. Josh was chatting it up with the bartender, asking if he heard us from out here. 

And finally, they all left to go play ping pong. They’d offered for us to go play, but she hadn’t even acknowledged them talking. I waved them off, and looked at them with a shake of my head. I felt her eyes continue to pore over me as she let me do the work to get them to leave. 

Then, y/n and I were in our own world, I placed my forearm on the bar, my body curving to be around hers of its own accord. She followed by turning her whole body to face mine. It felt natural as she leaned into where I stood. She wasn’t quite touching me, but she let her own body follow all of my movements. 

I couldn’t help but feel my chest puff as she let her body move with mine as I matched her, moving in time with her. I was the dull moth and she was the bright, alluring flame.

I wondered if it felt as seamless for her as it did for me, she sat her elbow on the bar, and leaned her hip against a stool. She went to sit on top of it, but she struggled with her footing, so I let my instincts take control and I helped her onto it. However I could help her, I wanted to. 

I also wanted nothing more than to touch her, so that seemed like the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. 

The gasp she released when I touched her, and lifted her the slightest bit to help her situate on the glittery plastic top of the stool, combined with the way her legs spread the slightest bit, her black jean shorts showing so much of her sweet, sun-kissed thighs—it made all of my blood rush through me and to a throbbing halt at the head of my cock.

I wanted to cross my legs to make sure it wouldn’t show what she was doing to me. But she was so magnetic, I couldn’t help the last step I took, towards the stool, to be closer to her. I was so close that my thighs touched her knees. Her knees, which she then crossed, in the process grazing the zipper of my jeans. 

My breath caught in my chest, and my dick pulsed. She was still looking down at where she’d touched me, so I knew she saw what I felt happening in my pants. 

She shot me a look, questioning all of this. And all I could do was look down at her, letting my eyes sweep over her entire outfit. So simple, yet so lovely, as always. She was wearing a cropped band tee (Cream. Fuck—did she do that on purpose?) and those cut off black denim shorts, with her black-colored toenails showing in a pair of cheap black flip flops. 

I swallowed hard, feeling so entranced by her. My gaze went back to her face, the most appealing part of the woman. Her face was so open, so kind, so pretty—it had done nothing but draw me in since day one. And being so close to her again, I saw the familiar dusting of a few lighter freckles that dotted her nose. She was smiling—her eyes were smiling— at me. 

Somehow it seemed she knew exactly what was going through my mind. Crazy how we’d been avoiding each other for the past couple of weeks, but now just clicked back together as if we were back at Baby’s All Right—in the cramped space of that bathroom.

I looked into her bright eyes, feeling something overwhelming come to life in my chest. 

Fucking hell. She was perfect.

I needed this. I needed to feel this with her again. I’d missed it. The closeness.

“Hi,” I said with a nod, just loud enough for her ears to hear. 

She blinked once, her eyes wide and wondering. Fuck. She was so damn cute. 

Then, I watched fondly as her dimples showed in her cheeks with a soft grin. “Hi.”

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

It had been a decent amount of time since Jake had come up to stand right next to you, completely ruining any chance for sanity on your end. 

He’d acted so normal, so forward. His actions were exactly what you’d needed to feel relieved—to know that all was okay. 

You’d gotten nervous being around him, like Elsie would say, you were pretty sure you had a ‘good ‘ol crush.’ Nothing more. You focused on complimenting the set when you’d talked, asking simple questions, just to hear his voice explain the same things Josh already had. The raspiness in his tone was just delicious, and you wanted to hear the small things from his perspective more than anyone else’s.

When you weren’t listening to him talk, you pretended to be interested in the game on the flat screen—you had no clue what they were doing on the field, but it was distracting you from how sweaty your palms were getting at Jake being so close.

Though, you were now several beers (and a couple margaritas) in, previously deciding you wanted to make this night like old times where you’d get drunk and have fun with the guys. The boys’d come up to you a few times in your precious time being next to Jake. They’d bump you with a shoulder as they grabbed a drink. . . Josh only coming by once or twice, having been the chosen one to hold off, as he was the DD.

And, per usual, Sammy had chosen a game that would supposedly be much more fun, completely inebriated: ‘drunk ping pong.’ 

“Like normal ping pong, except you’re drunk!” Sam had excitedly said, his signature cackle following his words. He was right there with you on the 'shitface scale'.

Jake had barely left your side all night, and it felt so right to be so close to him, to stay with him. It felt right, just like it had before, except this time, it had nothing to do with anything sexual. . .it was just his simple presence that made you feel good. 

(You weren't going to talk about how you'd felt his dick twitch in his tight jeans. . .because holy fuck. Your panties had been the victim when that had happened.)

By the middle of the ping pong game, you were still drinking. You felt light in the head, completely carefree. You even caught yourself leaning into Jake a few times, the two of you deciding to be a team against Sammy and Danny. Josh preferred being the referee for the game, getting a chance to nonstop talk by narrating the entire game.

At one point, you knew you were leaning back into him, but you were far too gone to care. You’d purposefully pressed your ass against his crotch, and he’d patiently repositioned you. You were grateful for him being so aware, because you knew you’d regret it in the morning if something stupid happened in front of your friends. You just couldn’t control your actions like a sober-you normally could. 

You were in a body that was moving on its own, your brain barely registering what you’d do.

He’d repeatedly asked if you were doing alright, and you’d get so lost in his chocolate gaze you could only breathe a ‘yes’ in response. 

And, now, as you settled into a booth inside the establishment, it was nearing 1 a.m., and you were simply listening to the guys talk about their next performance. And as you had been all night, you were next to Jake. 

At this point, you were cuddled up next to him more than anything else. You felt so cozy with him. His body was a warm furnace for yours. You were sitting in a way that none of the other guys could see what you were doing. Because of them not seeing your bottom half, you situated a leg over his thigh, comfortably draping it the best you could to make it look as inconspicuous as possible (while simultaneously being incredibly drunk). 

But you could barely worry about it when you leaned your head on his shoulder. You were sleepy. And he was warm, right, and close. 

And he smelled so fucking good. Hints of sage and vanilla overwhelmed your senses, mixed with sweat. . .it was the perfect mixture that helped to lull you to sleep, along with the calming vibration of his voice as he talked with his brothers, your head laying on his shoulder perfectly placed for the melodic sound waves from his voice. 

And right before you dozed off, you felt one of his calloused hands lay on your thigh, warm on your cooled skin. You snuggled into him, a small smile finding its way to your lips.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Before you knew it, the same hand was squeezing your thigh, urging you to wake up.

“Y/n. . .let’s go home,” his voice softly said, his minty breath hitting your face. Home. As your eyes wedged open, you looked up at him to find the apples of his cheeks redden with a deep laugh as he reacted to something Josh said.

If only you could just kiss him - right then and there.

You were still too out of it to register what Josh was saying, but you noticed the other three standing around the booth, Jake securely next to you still. 

Your tummy fluttered at him being so attentive to you, and continued on that way as he helped you climb out (or rather squeak out of the booth, your bare thighs making racket against the seat). 

“Y/n. . .,” Sam started, his voice way too high for him to be requesting your name for anything too serious. And still, you looked up at him as you finally edged your way to the very end of the red booth. “Did you fart?!”

The rest of the guys started chuckling with him, and you couldn’t help but join in as you went to punch his scrawny chest. “Shut the fuck up, you fucker.”

Danny whooped, beating a fist in the air. He started leading the way out of the bar. As you all followed, he turned to catch your eye briefly. “Y/n. . . coming in with some nasty ass insults tonight,” he laughed. “You’re killing it, Baby Dragon.”

“Haven't heard that one for a hot damn second,” Josh remarked, right behind Danny, waiting to hold the door open for you, Jake, and Sam. “Baby Dragon.”

Jake looked at you and Sam curiously, wanting an in on the nickname. 

“Baby Dragon?” He questioned, taking the door from Josh to let you into the dark night, under his lifted arm. 

“Game of Thrones,” was Sammy’s explanation, as he started teetering on his feet, balancing himself on the ledge of the sidewalk to keep himself busy. “Baby dragons.”

You could tell he was still wondering why, so you tried to extend Sam’s drunken response with your own woozy one. “I’m a baby dragon.”

Well, that made no damn sense, you thought, giggling to yourself.

The guys started busting up laughing, Jake still dipping his eyebrows in at you, a smile playing on his full lips. He was watching your every motion, continuing as you looped your arm with Sammy, trying to balance with him.

Josh continued, more lucid than either of you. “We watched Game of Thrones week after week at our apartment for about a year. . . binged it together,” he nodded his head toward you, smirking. “One of y/n’s favorite ways to bond is with a good television show. And she had been dying for us to watch it with her. So, we did.”

The curly headed twin then laughed at you and Sammy as you both nearly fell, making the same ridiculous sound as you almost went down. Sam thankfully recovered in time, even with his feet slippery in his Birkenstocks. He held you close to him. It made you laugh even harder as he playfully checked you for bumps and bruises. 

“We deemed her Baby Dragon,” Danny finished.  

Jake nodded, but he still wanted more information, looking left out. You also noticed him looking as though he’d discovered something. And then it clicked that Josh had exposed a bonding tactic of yours. You slapped your forehead, your reactions still slow, even after your nap, where you had snoozed off the tiniest bit of alcohol. 

“Josh!” You scolded him, way past time. You still made no sense, randomly saying his name— you knew this. 

But, the more Josh looked at you dubiously, you thought you’d leave it at that. You didn’t need to correct him for saying anything. Because, well, it really wasn’t that big of a deal, the more you thought of it. Maybe you were okay with Jake knowing you’d used TV to bond with him. 

In this state, you could plainly admit that you wanted him to know your heart—all of your intentions. And you wanted to tell him all of your desires. . . Show him, even. You were craving him, especially after being so close with him all night. It felt nice. 

You looked up to observe him at that moment, but he was checking his phone, his eyebrows crinkled. He looked up from it, clicking it closed and glancing to the street to see a car rolling up.  

“Your Uber AWAITS!” Sam declared, motioning to the car that had pulled up to the curb, the black and white Uber sign in the corner of the window to confirm his words. 

“Jake, you need to get a damn car,” Josh noted, opening the back door for you. “I’m tired of being your chauffeur. And Uber is going to get tired of you soon, too,” He caught your eye and winked, nodding over to your roommate. “Y/n, I’m thinking it’s your turn to cart Jake around everywhere he goes.”

You approached the nice little silver car, rolling your eyes at Josh, but still giving him a hug as you came up next to him. “Love you, Joshy,” you leaned in, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m not taking any car advice from you, Mister Clunkerfuck,” he commented plainly. It made you burst out with laughter. “Your car is on its last fuckin’ leg. It’s going to break down on you at the worst possible moment and I’m not going to feel bad. I think you’re the one who needs to get a car—a new one.”

Sam started drunkenly singing a track you hadn’t heard that included the lyrics ‘you’re the one’. His actions were dramatic, only Danny paid him any mind, starting to sing with him, being just as goofy. 

You were still thinking of what Jake had said. It was exactly how you thought of Josh’s car.

“Clunkerfuck,” you smiled in Jake’s direction. Though, when you caught his eye, he looked a little downcast, you just couldn’t pin why. Maybe you were seeing it, all dazed out. “Good one, Jakey.”

Jakey? It did register in time that you’d called him that, and you were instantly embarrassed by your nickname for him. Too far. So, you hurriedly got in the car, your cheeks flushing as you haphazardly yelled goodbyes to the other guys. 

“Nighty night, Baby Dragon,” Josh had said with a laugh, calling you the nickname once more, closing the door behind you. You’d honestly forgotten about the nickname. . .it had been so long since they’d used it. 

Before you knew it, Jake was scooting into the passenger seat to offer an address to the driver. 

He doesn’t want to sit next to me? You thought, sadly. But he chose to be close to me the rest of the night. . . Why not now?

You tried not to look too disappointed on the outside as he was back to ignoring you for the twenty minute drive back to your place. He paid you no mind, and didn’t even care to check on you like he had all night, on the ride back. 

You weren’t able to give it much thought as you looked at the GPS and reasoned you could get a good nap in on the way home. Drinking always made you feel so tired. 

You laid your head against the cooled window next to you. Jake’s naturally husky (fucking sexy) tone as he spoke to the driver, was the last thing you heard semi-coherently. 

You let the car sway you to sleep for the last 10-ish minutes of the drive back, only one handsome man, with long hair and a voice that dripped of sex, waiting behind your lids as they closed. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were still feeling loopy as Jake helped you up the stairs to the apartment. 

You’d had way too much to drink. You needed sleep. 

Once you entered the apartment, it was so quiet and dark. . .you needed light. So, you felt against the wall to switch the light on. But, you instantly regretted it, covering your eyes with both hands. 

“My eyes!” You yelped, way too dramatically. And when you peeked through your fingers, you saw Jake stooped down, next to Stevie’s dish, giving her a scoop of food. She nudged her little gray head against his hand. Your heart squeezed at the sight. But it was still too bright. “My eyes!”

With two hands still covering your eyes, you sauntered, on unsteady foot in front of the other, back towards the switch you’d used to flip the lights on. 

But before you could get to the switch, you knocked into a chair, sending you back onto your ass. Yet again, dramatically.

“Ow!” You moved a hand from your eyes to massage your sore butt, and as you did, you saw Jake moving to switch the lights off. You were once again cloaked in darkness, but he turned the lamp on closest to him. You sighed, your ass not hurting as much as you’d imagined it had. Now you only cared about the lights, how perfectly dimmed the room was. “Ahhh. . .Much better.”

Your lids were drooping again, and you were not looking forward to getting back up on wobbly feet to make the trek to your bedroom. 

Deciding the floor was a comfy enough bed for the night, you laid back, curling onto your side, your hands under your left cheek to make a pillow. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

Her eyes slid closed. I watched her, a small grin on my face. So adorable. 

But, she was so gone. I felt bad appreciating her being so cute while she was so incoherent. 

So instead of taking advantage, I’d taken it upon myself to watch over her and make sure she was alright all night. I kept my drinking to a minimum so I could keep a careful eye on her.

We’d spent the whole night together, enjoying each other’s company (even if she had been slightly—very—drunk). It’d felt so right. 

My heart had beat at being like that with her in a similar way it did when we’d watch New Girl together. But, it was different tonight. Instead of only sitting on a couch, we’d been together, walking around, playing, her willingly (albeit drunkenly) falling asleep on my shoulder, a smooth leg draped over mine (holy fuck, by the way). 

We hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk a whole lot, thanks to my brothers demanding our attention. The only talking we had partaken in had been very little. And it’d only been about what she’d thought of the set, little questions she had for me. We’d mostly just taken time to be next to each other. 

For me, it’d felt like coming back home.

I had just watched her as she watched the game on a TV in front of us (didn’t peg her as a girl who liked sports, but whatever), occasionally looking over at me to share a secret smile, making my skin hot with want for her. 

I’d hoped, sitting there on those barstools, that she’d felt it with me—the whole cheesy ass ‘coming home’ thing. 

But then, having to stand there and watch her kiss Josh on the cheek at the end of the night . . .that had been a kick in the fuckin’ ass. I’d literally felt my heart sink in my chest as I watched them, their respective energies feeding off of the other so well. . . they were practically one. 

He’d even helped her into the car, once again calling her that ‘baby dragon’ thing that I couldn’t understand at all. I couldn’t understand her the way he could—the way all of the guys could. I hadn’t been around to get to know her with the rest of them. I wasn’t in sync with her like they were—like Josh was. 

I was late to the game. Probably too late. 

Though, when we got home, I still wanted to help her with a few small things . . . It was impossible for me not to try and help her (even if she didn’t fit as well with me as she did my brother).

And at this moment, I could tell that she was going to let herself sleep on the floor. 

But I wasn’t going to let that happen. 

Bending down next to her beautiful body, I couldn’t help but bite my lip when I saw her round ass peeking out from the bottom of her shorts. She was filled out in all of the right places—an absolute fucking masterpiece. 

Then I heard a little whimper in her sleep. A sigh, as she probably started slipping into dreamland. I felt my dick harden just the slightest bit when I thought of hearing those same whimpers through the walls. . . how she’d said my name in her sleep a few times — moaned it, even. . . Off in her dreams where I could have only hoped to meet her.

I’d spent many mornings so sexually fucking frustrated with how close, yet so far she was. So many times—I was there, right next door to her as my name would slip from her lips. And with only a thin wall between us, I’d jerked my cock into a hand I’d imagined was her sweet pussy, having to bite my lip to keep from saying her name.

Fuck. I palmed at my crotch, willing my dick to soften. Now was not the time.

I touched her shoulder, nudging her a bit. “Y/n. . .come on, wake up. You don’t wanna sleep on the floor.”

She sighed again, “Yes, I do,” she retorted. 

And then she moaned as she snuggled further into the carpet. Her moan. Fuck. She was like a damn good drug. 

“No, you don’t,” I scooped my hands under her back, ready to carry her to bed. “I’ll carry you if you don’t move yourself. Come on.”

I saw her lids flutter, eyes still closed. A little smirk graced her features. “Carry me, Jakey,” she mused. 

There she was using that nickname for me again, I thought. It sounded so much better, sweeter coming from her lips than I’d ever heard it.

And when I let both of my hands totally slip under her, scooping her into my arms, and against my chest, her eyes blinked open, still slightly hooded. Her eyebrows curved in, the look she was giving me telling me she hadn’t believed I would do it. 

She wiggled, arguing. “Jake. You don’t have to,” wiggle. “Carry,” wiggle. “Me.”

I gripped her a bit tighter, but did give her a chance to climb out of my arms. “I’ll let you walk if you want to,” I continued, letting my guard down with my next words. “But I really like being this close to you. . .feeling you against me.”

When she looked at me again, it was as if she’d totally sobered at what I’d said (even though I knew better). Her eyes were inquiring, but so full of an emotion I couldn’t fully place in that moment. All I knew was her unnamed emotion somehow perfectly matched the thrum of my heart in my chest. 

“Me too.”

And then she looped her arms around my neck, bringing my face down to meet hers, just as we’d made it to her room. 

I couldn’t help it. I let myself give in to her apparent want in that moment, and met her lips with mine. 

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

As Jake carried you further into your room, to your bed, you never let your lips leave his. Even as he laid you down on your bed, you kept kissing him.

Yes, you thought. This. This is what I needed. I needed him.

You knew you weren’t totally sober, but when he’d said what he did about liking the feeling of being close to you. . . it had made your heart leap into your throat with joy. Because you’d been hoping he still felt like that. You’d been hoping so hard to hear words like that, that it had kind of snapped you from your drunken daze. 

And having him on top of you, laying his body between your legs that naturally opened to make room for him. . .the feeling was divine.

Having Jake with you, it was more than the alcohol that still lingered in your system. You wished you hadn’t let yourself get so wasted tonight, wished you'd have taken him coming closer to you as a sign to not make tonight ‘like old times’. You realized that you wanted it to be new times—times where Jake was here. Things were different with him around. 

And now that you were so far away from the beginnings of him living with you, seeing him show bits of himself, outside of his shroud, throughout June. . . knowing what his lips tasted like—you could admit that having him around was a good type of different. 

Your mouth opened, needing his tongue to meet yours. As soon as it entered your mouth, you sucked on it, loving the taste, the feeling of it, safe in your mouth. 

Needing to be closer to him, you leaned up the slightest bit. You had to feel your skin against his. Closer, closer.

You separated your mouth from his, your lips wet, probably looking just like his: swollen and pink. 

His eyes were dark, lids hooded, encouraging you. You tugged at his shirt, and he got the idea. Thanks to not buttoning his shirts all the way, he was able to slip his short sleeve floral button down over his head. As he did that, you reached around the hem of your old T-shirt, taking it off. 

But before you could throw it to the side, he reached a hand out to grab it, turning the front of it to face you. The members of Cream, staring at you from the splotch of white on black material.

“Does it get you off?” He questioned, an eyebrow raised. “Turning me on with these little outfits you wear to the shows?” 

You smirked, your eyes hazing with want for him. He’d liked your choice of shirt. It hadn’t irritated him. You had made progress. You weren’t at square one anymore. Thank God.

“You liked it?” You rhetorically asked. “You were all I thought about when I put it on.”

His eyes glazed over, just like your own. He liked that.

He huffed, his mouth forming a grin before leaning down to nip at your lips, throwing the shirt to the side. His hands found your thighs, lifting them around his hips. He sucked your bottom lip, moving his tongue to lick into your mouth, his mouth following yours as you melted into the feeling, needing more. 

You pushed him away again, using the time he was leaned back to take your shorts off. He helped you so you didn’t have to awkwardly wriggle out of them. You flashed your eyes at him, smiling with them. 

Then once they were gone, you sat up fully, legs falling from around his hips, to help him. You messed with the button of his jeans. 

He placed his hand over yours, stopping you. You looked up to question him. And as you did, he was already laying you back down, honed in on the sight of your chest that hadn’t stopped heaving since you’d kissed him. 

“Did you think of me when you put this on?” He pulled at the strap of your bra- the same bralette you’d had on the night you’d first kissed. His eyes looked down at the rest of your body, palms running smoothly up your thighs, and over the curves of your hips, giving them a firm squeeze that made you thrust up towards him. His eyes found yours, completely dark. “Don’t start with that.”

Okay, I will, you thought, ready to tease him.

You moved a leg to be between both of his, bending it at the knee, causing it to rub against his crotch ever so slightly, then you brought it back down to lay beside your other leg, looking up at him, eyes innocent. 

“Oops,” you smirked, watching his own lips quirk. 

But as soon as his mouth lifted, it fell into a frown. His eyes squeezed shut, brows drew in, his jaw suddenly set as he ground his teeth. . . 

He looked . . . Frustrated? 

He started shaking his head and quickly grabbed his shirt, going to get off the bed. 

What the fuck?

It made you sit up again, like you had minutes before, but out of alarm this time. 

“Jake?” You worriedly asked, getting off your bed to follow him, clothes be damned. 

He didn’t respond, only grumbled something under his breath. You couldn’t understand him and you were wondering what in the hell was going on. 

As you followed him out of your room and a few steps to his room at the end of the hallway, you grabbed his arm before he could open the door to his room. 

“What’s going on? Are you—?.”

He roughly shook your hand off of his arm.

“Y/n. Go to bed,” he gruffly said, his next words made your throat tighten up even more than his initial tone. “It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone. Go to bed.”

Your mind was suddenly on high alert, ignoring any kind of lingering effects of alcohol, you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

What the fuck was his fucking problem? 

A mistake? That's what you were?

“Jake. . .,” you went to grab his arm again, but he turned before you could, facing you. His eyes were stern, dark with anger. It stunned you, so opposite of how he’d been all night. You continued on, not letting his reaction to you, deter you, “You don’t. . .,” swallow the tears, y/n. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he confirmed. Your chest tightened, you took a step back. “We can’t keep—just go to bed. Leave me alone.”

Your sadness quickly turned to bitterness. . . spitefulness. All of a sudden, you were extremely aware of your state of undress. You felt completely embarrassed from the rejection. You covered your body the best you could. 

“Fine,” you turned quickly on your heel, needing to get away from him and back to the safety of your bedroom. You were suddenly feeling anxious, upset, and ready to recluse. “Good-fucking-night, Jake. I’ll give you what you want. I’ll leave you the fuck alone.”

“Wait, y/n,” you heard his voice behind you.

But you ignored him, gave him a taste of his own medicine. 

Asshole. Fucking asshole. How could someone change so quickly? Be two different people in the span of minutes-time? He had just been telling you how he liked being close to you, he’d barely left you all night. . . Even approached you at the bar, for seemingly no reason but to simply be with you. 

But now? Now you were a mistake.

Fuck him.

“Y/n. . .please, I’m just—.”

Sharply, you spun to face him once you’d made it to your bedroom. You cut him off. “Fuck you, Jake.” 

You let your emotions reflect with an icy glare in his direction. 

Just before you shut the door to your room, you saw his face, completely crestfallen.

When you got back into bed, you curled up into yourself, and angry tears were your sad lullaby to get to sleep. You tried to be quiet enough so he wouldn’t possibly hear you. 

You’d had enough embarrassment for one night and you didn’t want to give him any more reason to judge you, be angry with you, or worst of all—pity you.

As you fell asleep that night, you couldn’t help but think that his sorrowful expression had matched exactly how you felt. Had he been sad? What gave him the right to be sad when he’d cut it off? Called it a mistake?

You worked to push him as far from your mind as you possibly could. You didn’t want to think of him.

He was impossible to understand. As soon as you thought you had an idea of the man, he changed, confusing the hell out of you. 

You tossed and turned, wondering why you still so desperately wanted to understand him. Why did it still matter? He shouldn’t matter. 

When you finally faded to a restless sleep,  you made the decision that you were going to try your hardest to not give a fucking damn about your roommate. 

You apparently weren’t worth his time, so he shouldn’t be worth yours.

You’d meant what you told him. 

Fuck Jake Kiszka.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As the week faded into the next, you’d made it your personal mission to make it perfectly clear to him that you were not giving him any of your time or attention. 

You used one of his earlier tactics and didn’t come out for anything except to eat, shower, go to work, go to class. You tried to avoid seeing him when you knew he was home, so thankful for the work schedules that still got posted on the fridge. 

He now had the additional schedule which showed when they had performances or practices, giving you a couple nights within that week to laze around the apartment with no worries of running into him. 

Occasionally, he tried to stop you to talk to you as you would pass each other. But you weren’t having it. You would cut him off with a wave, a short ‘no’ or a curt ‘goodbye’ as you left the apartment to do your own thing. 

You wanted to make it clear that you were done with whatever the hell you two had been dancing around for the past month. What he didn’t need to know was that you were mostly doing it to convince yourself that you were done with it. 

In the moments he tried to stop you, you would just get hurt all over again that he seemed to be so desperate to beat the dead fucking horse—explain his hateful words. That was all he could possibly want. What else?

And you didn’t want that.

Why did he seem so intent on stopping you to just explain what a mistake being with you had been?

Drawing a line was imperative.

You had to convince yourself that you didn’t still want him and that you didn’t have several passing thoughts of him throughout your days. 

It was much harder than you’d anticipated. Being your roommate, he was still everywhere you turned. No matter how hard you tried to escape him, he was there. In your shared home, in your thoughts, in conversations with Josh. . .

And in your fucking dreams. 

Several days during that blessed week of ignoring him, you woke up in a sweat wanting only him. Your body was calling out to be touched by him. 

And then you had the weak moments. The ones when you’d accidentally run into him, and you wanted to let your guard down, let him know you were hurting more than anything. You wanted to talk to him— wanted to know where he stood. 

But every time, you'd bit your tongue to stop yourself.

He’d said it himself—you were a mistake. 

So, that’s why you never gave in to the temptation to let him talk, or let him know your own feelings about it all. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Classes were a great distraction from what was going on in your heart and home.

Being able to dedicate your time to something completely unrelated to your roommate was exactly what you needed.

Spending more time on things like class work meant less time to think about Jake.

Though, it wasn’t necessarily doing what your family had intended it to. They’d wanted you to take a summer class to get your mind focused back on writing, use the class as a chance to get your passion for writing back.

But just as it had been before the summer class, your love—your passion for writing just wasn’t there anymore.

For some reason, when Jake had come into your life, it'd helped you realize for the first time in years, just how important music was to you. He brought out this spark that had faded. Being able to be around someone so often who was on the same page when it came to a passion for the art of music—it had done something impeccable for you. 

(He’d done it unintentionally—unknowingly—, of course, as he’d hated your guts when you’d started feeling that incredible pull towards music again.) 

And then there was the day in your summer class that pieces started clicking in your head. Slight identity crisis, if you may.

It had come to you when you’d been prompted to discuss and write about inspirations for pursuing writing. And in that moment, you’d realized you couldn’t think of any other reason you’d pursued your degree save for you wanting to be just like Elsie. (And the added bonus of your grandfather encouraging against a pursuit in a musical degree- at all costs.)

You’d set your sights on Elsie years ago as your number one role model. Your mother had left you with only your older sister to inspire you. Elsie loved writing, so in turn, you’d decided that you would also love writing. 

It was her dream. And, unfortunately, you were only just now realizing that maybe it wasn’t fully yours, as you embarked on your senior year of college. 

Terrible timing for Jake to enter your life and bring out that flame you’d always had for music. 

Another strange thing that had come along with Jake entering the picture were thoughts of your mother. More than you’d ever really had before. 

Thanks to Elsie having to use your forgotten past to help you have a better understanding  of Jake, your mom had been in more thoughts than you were comfortable with as of late. 

You hated thinking of her. But after that conversation, every time you saw a child with his or her mother, you had this giant burst of longing in your heart that you couldn’t put a name to.

It was truly odd, but the sight brought you this sense of impending healing. 

Were you finally on a path to figuring out who you truly were in the aftermath of her leaving?

You had no clue what the pull on your heart meant. 

All you knew was, there were a lot of changing feelings that were quite different than anything you’d felt in the past several years of your life. In those many years since your mother had left you broken on the porch step at ten years old—you’d simply gone about everything in life in a sort of monotone style. 

Rather than thinking with your heart, you’d just followed a gray wave. You’d never taken a real initiative to understand yourself. The waves of life had carried you, and you’d let them, willingly. 

It had been easier—more comfortable— than actually taking time to think about yourself and what you wanted. 

But Jake. . .he’d been the cause of bringing about the most feelings you’d had since your mother left in her blaze of glory. He’d brought out pieces of you that you hadn’t come in contact with since you were ten years old and vulnerable, screaming and crying for your mom to come back as she left you, broken.

But with the feelings this time, it truly felt more like a yearning to be more. You felt this sense of understanding for yourself that you hadn’t ever had before.

In some backwards way, he was helping you get to know these pieces of yourself you’d kept in the dark for far too long. Pieces that needed time, attention, and love. 

It was fucking weird. 

You didn’t understand the anatomy of it all. 

But you desperately wanted to learn more about these parts of yourself you were discovering.  

-🌼🌼🌼-

In order to push through the class (and your degree), you decided it was a good idea to pair up with a study buddy. 

You needed someone to help motivate you to keep going—finish with a skip in your step, rather than falling into a pitiful slump. 

It’s why you decided to ask Theo to be that person after class one day.

Surely that was a reason he’d floated back into your life. Help you stay motivated to get this degree. You didn’t know. 

And maybe it could be more. . .he would end up assisting to help you get your mind away from Jake. You didn’t need to be distracted by your roommate. 

Everything happens for a reason, after all. And maybe these were Theo’s reasons in your life.

He’d agreed with no hesitation, which had made a giant smile plaster to your face. 

But why, when you were leaving class, had you felt as though something had fallen to the bottom of your gut? 

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Fiction or non?” 

You were splayed out on your bedroom floor, with Theo across from you. As he’d pored over his textbook, he kept coming up with questions to ask you. 

Sure, it might be cute and endearing in a normal circumstance. But right now, you wanted to focus on studying for a couple of upcoming tests, as summer semesters were the worst at moving so damn quickly. 

There were more important matters at hand than nonsensical small talk. 

Deciding to humor him (and hopefully get back to the task at hand), you responded. “Hmm. . .,” you sat up from where you’d been laying on your stomach to read about Geoffrey Chaucer. “They both have special things about them—both stretch our minds to understand more about other worlds and our own,” you paused, giving it a second to ponder. “Are we talking writing-wise or reading-wise?”

He chuckled, and winked at you. “It doesn’t have to be something you think so deeply about,” he closed his textbook. What was he doing? You still had to make flash cards! “Pretend we’re playing a game and it’s rapid fire questions.”

You didn’t want to be playing a game. You wanted to be sinking your teeth into the intricacies of this author in order to ace your test. 

You shook your head, your eyes stuck on his closed book. “Fuck,” you scratched your eyebrow. Your mind flicked to music: fun to write and read about. You were actually currently reading a book about John Lennon. You had many books on your TBR list about famous musicians. A most intriguing subject, in your opinion. “Non-fiction.”

His face scrunched up. “Nah,” he disagreed. “Fiction.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” his stare was blank in response. “Don’t really have to think too hard about it.”

You tried not to roll your eyes at him. In your opinion, thinking hard about what you were writing or reading was what made it most desirable. It made you venture into undiscovered realms of your mind. 

When you went to lean back over your book, the movement made you realize just how badly your bladder was begging to be released. 

Stupidly, you thought of the ridiculous work schedule on the fridge. 

Why the hell couldn’t you just let yourself go to the damn bathroom without thinking about Jake? You knew it was fucking ludicrous. You just didn’t want to see him. When you pulled up the picture of the fridge on your phone, you saw you were in the clear. He should still be at band rehearsal. 

You tapped your open book, giving Theo a sign that he needed to open his back up. “I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” you stood up, the wave of having to pee rushing through you tenfold at the motion. He still hadn’t gotten the hint to open up his textbook. Ugh. “I’ll be back soon and then we will make our cards for the test.”

And as you exited the room, you saw him finally get back to business and open his book back up.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You dried your hands on the towel next to the sink, and took a look at yourself in the mirror.

He sort of annoyed you, but Theo was still cute, and he’d made you happy in high school. You weren’t totally opposed to the idea of kissing him (or maybe more) by the end of the night.

It seemed to you to be another good plan to get your mind off of Jake.

And Theo seemed interested enough. Considering he’d been more interested in learning about you, rather than the material for class all night (irritating, but whatever). 

Deciding you looked good enough to return, you opened the door to go back. And as you went to walk out, you stopped at a chest in your way. You got dizzy at the smell—smelled so fucking good—familiar. . .

You looked up.

Jake.

Your eyebrows pinched together, not happy at all that you’d crossed paths. Fucking hell. Why wasn’t he. . .?

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like thi—.”

You held a hand up to silence him, crossing your arms. “Why aren’t you at band practice?” 

Why the fuck was he cracking jokes? You were not in the mood. 

“Ended early,” his face hardened when he shrugged, stating it plainly. 

“Why didn’t you just stay with the guys?” You asked, secretly glad he didn’t. For whatever reason. “You could have hung out with them instead of coming back here.”

“Oh,” he stuck his chin out at the word and leaned a shoulder against the door-hinge. He raised a brow and crossed his arms to mirror you. “I see.”

You definitely didn’t glance at how his bicep flexed as his fingers wrapped around it. And you didn’t take time to appreciate his beautiful hair. . . had it started getting slightly longer? 

You shook your head, retraining your eyes.

“Tell me, Jake, what do you see?” You snapped, flicking your eyes up to his.

He scoffed, rolled his eyes. “Saw that guy lying on your bedroom floor, waiting for you. He was even sweet enough to wave at me when he saw me pass your room,” he sarcastically remarked, waving his hand to mimic. 

“We’re just studying,” you hushed back, feeling the (unnecessary) need to reassure him.

He scoffed. “You think that’s all it is to him?”

You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips before you pulled him by his T-shirt into the bathroom. You weren’t going to discuss this in a place Theo could possibly hear. 

“I know that’s all it is,” you released his shirt like you were repulsed by the touch, when in reality you wanted nothing more than to pull it completely off of him. Damn him. "Why does it matter?"

“It doesn’t. Just think it’s funny how you’re so naive to believe he doesn’t want more.”

“He doesn’t.” 

“Do you?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t. I just think it’s also a little funny that you might want me out just so you can fuck that guy in your bedroom,” he nodded his head in the direction of your room. 

Oh. He was taking it there. Okay.

“Yeah? And if I wanted to?” You jutted your chin out the slightest bit, bringing your arms closer, to press against your chest. “How is it any of your damn business?” 

He stepped once towards you, eyeing your chest, the tops of your breasts revealed, pushed up to the top of your tank. Your skin flushed, heart racing. 

His voice lowered. “It became my business the night you spread your legs for me at Baby’s,” one more step towards you, his eyes locking with yours. Fuck. “When I had you moaning my name while my mouth played between your pretty legs,” another step. “I think you gave yourself away that night. I don’t buy this little act.”

Oh. 

Fuck. . . If your heart wasn’t racing. 

You blinked, shaking your head. You tried to stand firm. “Wh-what act?” Dammit. Why were you stuttering? 

Stand your ground, y/n, you thought, motivating yourself to stay strong. 

But as he took one more step in, your body was effectively once again trapped between his body and a sink. Thankfully, he hadn’t pressed himself up to your front, so you weren’t distracted by that. 

You tried to hold your own.

But shit. . .he was so close. Your skin flared with heat, your heart still beating erratically in your chest. 

As you were making direct eye contact with the chest of his white t-shirt, you craned your neck to see his face fully.

“What act, Jacob?” 

He shook his head. A little smirk played at his mouth. He brought his hand up to hold your cheek. Your skin was on fire for him and his touch.

You couldn’t help it when you leaned into his hand, letting your cheek press into his calloused flesh. 

He licked his lips. “You tell me,” he whispered lowly, nodding his head once at you. 

And you couldn’t help it, his deep brown eyes pulled you in. He was begging to be touched. You had to feel him. 

Leaning in, you held his cheek just as he held yours. He then took the chance, and captured your lips with his.

Ah. His lips. So soft. 

Your vision was hazy, eyes still open, you saw how his eyebrows dipped in with a moan. You matched the sound, closing your eyes, and slipped your tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his. 

You heard him shut the door with the hand that wasn’t holding your face. 

He then moved that hand from your face, reaching both hands under your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before he lifted you the short distance to sit on the bathroom countertop. 

You bit his bottom lip, getting another small moan from him. He did the same to you and then soothed the spot with his tongue. You sighed into his mouth. 

Reaching both hands up, you sunk them into his dark, brunette locks. He matched every movement of your lips with his own, and then licked one wet stripe on the roof of your mouth. 

You were able to gasp for air when he moved his mouth from yours to give the softest, small kisses to your neck. Though it didn’t last long before he turned his pecks into wet, open-mouthed kisses. The slightest stubble of hair on his lip skimmed against your sensitive skin. He worked from under your jaw, all the way up, to the tender spot behind your ear. 

Shivering with a sigh, you gripped his hair tighter, pulling him in as close as he could be to you, on the counter. You felt his hardening length against your center when you did so, making you immediately grind into him. 

And when he did the same to the other side of your neck, this time, he nipped at the skin behind your ear. You bucked your hips into his. He released a groan that echoed through the small bathroom, making you want to melt into it. 

“More,” you breathed, clutching him closer, making sure the front of you stayed connected to him. Feeling his hard length through the material of his jeans was almost too much, but you craved it. You needed it. 

More.

But, the next moment, you heard a little cough from your bedroom, right next door. 

It snapped you from your daze. You were suddenly hyper aware that it was not just you two in the apartment. You had to stop.

You pushed him back, jumping off the counter. When you looked in the mirror to check your face and neck, your lips were swollen and your cheeks were flushed. Your neck was still pink from where he’d been. You checked where he’d bit behind your ear, and seeing the redness back there made you want to hop right back onto that counter. Let him have his way with you— right there. Theo be fucking damned.

But you knew better.

Tucking some hair behind your ear, you tried to make yourself look slightly presentable. 

From behind you, he was brushing a hand through his hair, when he went to smooth a hand over his cheeks, his jaw stretching with the motion. He was contemplative.

His eyebrows drew together, curious. You couldn’t tell if he was upset. He mostly looked . . .confused. 

He removed his hand from his face when his eyes found yours in the mirror, open and wondering. He looked desperate to understand. 

“What do you want, y/n?” 

You didn’t know what in the hell to tell him. 

You wanted Jake. And you wanted him bad. But somehow saying it out loud seemed too difficult at the moment. 

And how could you say that to him when he’d so recently, blatantly told you that you were a mistake?

“I don’t know, Jake,” you whispered back, still looking at your blushing cheeks, messy hair, and freshly kissed lips. You’d need a minute to let your skin return to its normal shade before going back to your room. 

You turned to face him.

When you saw him, looking so beautiful, so lost. . . You thought of how lost you’d felt for the past couple weeks. His words were once again flashing back through your head. 

“It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone.”

It still hurt as you could see him so clearly in the doorway of his bedroom, angry and insistent that you do what he said and leave him alone.

But tonight? Crowding you in here to make out on the bathroom counter? Did he truly want that? For you to leave him alone?

“What do you want?” You leveled him with a stare, your tone sharp, but keeping your voice low since Theo was one room over. You pointed a finger in his chest. “You say you want me to leave you alone, but then you trap me in here like this?”

He shook his head, a dimple showing again with a sarcastic grin. After tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, he put the same hand in his pocket. 

“Oh, there is no way you are going to turn this around on me,” he matched your quiet tone, understanding. “And trap you? Okay, Little Miss ‘Fuck Me, Jake,’” he used air quotes to remind you of your words from the night at Baby’s. 

Fuck. 

Of course he remembered you’d said that. Why wouldn’t he? 

You decided to ignore it, focusing back on him.

“You’re the one who said it was a mistake! That I needed to leave you alone,” you protested, anger flaring in your chest.

He covered his eyes with a hand, the veins in the hand catching your eye. You’d never noticed how masculine his hands were. And damn if he didn’t know how to use them . . . Even in this moment, debating with him, you wanted them touching every part of you. You wanted his skilled fingers, flexing inside of you.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” His eyes were sad when he moved his hand, when you saw the brown irises again. But there was a fire behind them still. “Dammit, y/n. Why do you insist on assuming the worst about me all the fucking time? I’m not the one who can’t make up my mind about what I want,” he leaned back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms. “One minute you’re kissing me. You’re with me, naked and ready as I’m pressing into you,” his voice was being raspy, along with the picture he was drawing. . . It made your cheeks pink. You could still feel what he felt like, pressing against you, throbbing. . .so close to being inside of you. He went on, “And the next moment you’re shoving me away from you, making sure to tell me that Josh doesn’t need to know what we’re doing.”

Of course some of this had to do with Josh. You’d had the smallest inkling, based on how weird he’d acted when you set the rules. 

Stupid.

“I knew you were making it all weird with Josh. . . is this all about Josh?! You know that he and I—.”

“No! It’s about you and how you make it impossible for us to—.”

“You told me to go away!”

“And you told me to stop,” he said back, his smoky voice still hushed. “More than once.”

Your chest heaved, knowing he was right, but you were so lost on how to explain it all. “There were reasons every time.” 

“Reasons,” he scoffed. “So are you going to keep having these reasons? Keep stopping it? Why do you keep letting it happen if all you’re going to do is make us stop?” 

“Last time you stopped us, Jake!” You defended, focusing on keeping your voice low. “Not me. You walked away and called it a mistake.”

He covered his face with both hands, growling. You shushed him. 

He took his hands away to show his jaw set, clenching with frustration. “You were drunk, y/n!” He begged you to understand, “I wasn’t going to do anything with you without you being in full and total control of yourself.”

You were sure your expression showed it all clicking. You blinked at him. It all made so much sense now. 

And what he’d done? His true intentions? Fuck. Sexy as hell.

Maybe you really did need to stop assuming the worst. You just couldn’t help it. It was a trauma response. Jumping to conclusions, thinking that people didn’t want you. . .

Your mom didn’t want you, so you were always convinced other people wouldn’t either. 

Especially men who were as beautiful and mesmerizing as Jake Kiszka.

Damn. Now it really was all on you. How did you even begin to lay it all out? 

You looked him dead in the face, completely unsure of how to articulate the mess in your head. 

“I don’t know,” you covered your face with both hands, mimicking him and frustratedly groaning into your palms. When you removed them from your face, you tucked them into your front pockets. You decided to assure him of one thing. For whatever reason, you wanted—needed him to know this. “I do want you. I want what we almost had in the bathroom at Baby’s,” You stepped towards him, wanting to be close to him again. You placed a delicate hand on his chest. He looked down at you, as you looked up into his eyes, reaching to hold your hand on his chest. Your skin tingled at his touch. “I need to feel you, to be with you. . . it just never seems like the right time. There’s always something.”

You didn’t know why you’d suddenly felt the urge to be vulnerable with him. He kept your hand on his chest, holding you, his eyes meeting yours in understanding. 

And you knew then that it was just him. Jake Kiszka, in and of himself, made you feel this strange sense of safety, comfortability. 

And it was different from the kind his twin had offered you as your friend for so many years. 

With Jake, you weren’t just friends. You weren’t even really friends. . .it was something else—an intense, unavoidable attraction. The safe feeling came combined with this desire to be with him. 

He felt like a resting ground. 

It was weird.

But you liked it.

He smoothed a thumb over your hand on his chest. You held his deep gaze, getting lost in it. 

And out of nowhere, he leaned down, kissing your lips with his. Just for a moment. 

You felt it all the way down to your toes. The feeling of him so close, with one simple kiss from his soft lips, it felt perfectly intimate. 

He released his hold on your hand, wrapping his hand around your waist instead, eyes connected with yours. It was as though he just wanted to touch you, have his hands on you.

It was what you wanted, too. Just the feeling of his hand, as it moved down to just over your hip, his thumb on the skin underneath the hem of your gray tank top. . .it felt right. 

He penetrated the thickness in the air with his low, gravelly tone. His eyes were vulnerable as he asked, “Do you want that? To find the right time?” 

You reached a hand up, holding his handsome face. You smoothed a thumb over his skin, tracing a freckle on his cheek. “I do. I promise I do,” you blinked up at him, needing his answer to that question. “And do you? Wanna find the right time?”

This was so much, butterflies flew rampant in your tummy. 

The grin he gave you was loose, his eyes relieved and open. “I really do.”

It felt so amazing to hear it straight from his lips. He really wanted it too. 

You’d overthink all of this later.

He leaned down to kiss you again. You reciprocated, for just a moment, letting your lips move with his. 

Then you pulled back, your hand falling from his face.

You nodded at the door. “I gotta get back to studying.”

His hand that was holding your hip squeezed slightly, your skin heating at it. You caught his eye, the intense feeling setting in your beating heart. 

“Is that all you’re doing?” His eyes were dark and questioning, making your head spin. “Studying?”

You winked at him, still holding onto your teasing from earlier. “It’s whatever I want it to be.”

His eyes seemed to darken more, pulling you in so your chest touched his. So warm. “I really don’t want to hear another guy fucking you through these walls.”

You pressed closer to him, your body thrumming with fire. “Funny coming from the guy who told me I could just wear earplugs when he brought women over,” then you pulled back, his hand fell. His eyebrow lifted, a tiny smirk lifted his lips. You continued, “Why don’t you go ahead and get a pair of your own, hm?”

You patted his cheek, reluctantly parting from him. Before leaving the bathroom, you chanced one more glance at your appearance. Not quite as flushed as before, though your cheeks were still blushing. You’d find a way to pass it off. Whatever. You’d been gone too long. 

You were about to open the bathroom door when, from behind, his voice stopped you. You felt a spark as his hand delicately touched yours.

“Hey.”

You swiveled on your heel, raised your brows in question. “Yeah?”

“Do you think you could come to our gig this weekend? It’s a bigger one.”

Did you work this weekend? You couldn’t remember. 

All you knew was that, suddenly, you really wanted to be at their show. 

“I’m not sure . . . Depends on work.”

“I would love—,” he put a fist in front of his mouth and cleared his throat. “The guys and I would love it if you could be there,” he shook his head, seeming to come to terms with an inner battle. “For me, I would just love to look out and see your beautiful face in the crowd.”

Your mind was fuzzy. All of this felt so unreal, yet so real all at once. He really wanted you there? And had he just called you beautiful? 

“I’ll try my best,” you slapped on a small grin, trying to play hard to get, masking your inner shock. You wanted to keep him on his toes, like he’d kept you for the past weeks. 

He scrunched his brows in and messed with his bottom lip. “Yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, totally get it. Just text me and let me know.”

Anytime he messed with his mouth, it was a distraction. You had to keep yourself from watching too close. It really didn’t help that you knew the feeling of those full, pink lips. . . 

And as you walked the short distance to your bedroom, you realized something else.

Had he just asked you to text him? 

What was all of this? This new territory you had just discovered?

-🌼🌼🌼-

And a couple nights later, when you were sitting on the couch watching New Girl, Jake came to sit at his end of the couch. 

Once you’d finished the episode he’d sat down to watch with you, he cleared his throat, making you look over at him. 

He was already looking at you. It made your stomach flurry. You decided to look back at the TV, nervous under his gaze. 

He spoke, keeping your ear in his direction, you paused the show. “We should start the series over. You know, start at the beginning together.” 

You smirked, feeling a rush of giddy happiness and excitement buzz through you.

“Yeah, sure,” you coolly respond, starting the show from scratch.

And as Jess began the first episode, you peeked quickly over at him, a content smile resting on his lips as he lounged at his end of the sofa.

-🌼🌼🌼-

And for the next few nights, Jake kept coming back. He would sit on the couch with you, simply to watch your show. 

Just to share that quiet time at the end of each day with you.

Whenever he would come to sit down, your nerves would translate to a dizziness of butterflies in your stomach. 

Though, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to laugh with him, share popcorn or pizza, look at each other when a character would say something particularly hilarious. . .

But neither of you ever moved to kiss the other. You know . . . make it anything more than two people watching a TV show.

It almost seemed like an unspoken rule that you were not doing that again . . .

. . .yet. 

Both of you, seeming to wait for the right time.

But you sure liked those quiet nights.

These nights with him made your house feel like a home. . . comfortable and safe. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

On Friday night, you got off work a little early.

It was the night before the guys’ show, so Jake obviously wasn’t home due to a last minute rehearsal and details. You'd seen as much on the rehearsal schedule on the fridge.

You took your time showering, shaving, exfoliating, pampering yourself fully, with the apartment to yourself. . .

Once finished, you realized you really wanted to watch New Girl. Even though Jake wasn’t home, you were in the middle of one of your favorite parts of the show. You had to watch the next couple of episodes. 

You’d just rewind to watch again when he was home next. 

You couldn’t help it. The two of you had been binging and you'd come to your favorite part in the whole show. It was arguably the best part—what the audience waits for from practically the first episode. 

Jess and Nick were finally about to bite the bullet, get their shit together and get together. 

And as you sat with a couple slices of warmed up cheese pizza from the night before, cuddled up with Stevie purring against your blanket covered thighs. . .something clicked. 

As they looked at each other throughout the whole episode of “Cooler,” you were angry with them. So angry that they were so close to finally being together, yet so far. . .

“Not like this!” Nick said to Jess, stopping her from kissing him. He suddenly sounded and looked very much like you had felt recently.

He looked desperate to make it the best it could be, get Jess to understand that it had to be just right. They’d waited long enough, and he wanted it to feel like it deserved to. 

You couldn’t stop it when it pulled you right back to your real life. Your current situation. 

And if you were upset with Nick and Jess for piddling around and not just acting on their feelings, not letting loose when it was so obvious they needed to . . . Then why the hell were you dragging it out so damn long with Jake? 

You felt like the two of you were essentially Nick and Jess. You were roommates, with so much building between you—everything and nothing to lose all at once. 

You wanted to act on it. You wanted it all. It was time. 

No, it was past time. 

And as Nick and Jess finally kissed, you decided.

The gig was tomorrow. You were off work early enough to go. . .

You were going to the show, and you weren’t going to stop anything that may happen afterwards this time.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As you left for work the next morning, you noticed a piece of paper sitting on the dining room table with your name on it, along with a sticky attached to it with an address and a little scribbled note underneath. 

Just in case 

-J

Your tummy fluttered. 

You’d been running late, so you hadn’t had time to look at it, tucking it into your bag to look at later.

-🌼🌼🌼-

In the quietness of the record store, you opened it up to find the setlist.

Grinning, you checked it over. Every song on the list were ones you knew. Save for one near the bottom. 

Edge of Darkness.

Suddenly curious about the song, you wondered. . . Was this song the reason he wanted you there?

-🌼🌼🌼-

Due to stupid-ass New York traffic and thinking you’d let Stevie run out of the apartment, only to find her hidden behind clothes in your closet, you were running roughly forty-five minutes late for their gig.

You’d texted Jake to let him know you were running late, but hadn’t received a text back. Momentarily, you’d been afraid of him being upset with you for being late, your stomach falling when he hadn’t responded for the thirty-ish minute drive to the venue after you’d sent it. 

Then, you realized he was on stage performing, so of course he wouldn’t respond. 

Whenever you’d sent the text, your hands had been extremely shaky, checking your text a million times for grammatical errors, even after you’d sent it. It was seriously like a ridiculous high school crush. 

Dumb.

You still believed that if you just fucked him and got it out of your system, some of those juvenile feelings would come to pass. 

As an adult woman, you didn’t need to care so deeply for how a man might respond to you. There was no use for that, and you thought yourself ludicrous for it.

Though, you really did feel terrible as traffic took so long, delaying your arrival to the venue. Your normal road rage came out a few times, honking your horn and cursing as people would drive several miles below the speed limit in front of you. 

You just wanted to get there.

-🌼🌼🌼-

When you did get there, the guys were playing their hearts out as you had to squeeze through a mass of sweaty, singing bodies, alcohol sloshing whenever you’d pass through. 

The establishment had two levels, so you decided to climb some stairs to watch from a higher level, hoping for less of a crowd from that vantage point. 

And when you’d made it up there, you realized it was still crowded. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as below. You found a semi-clear space to claim, a thankfully nice view of all of the guys.

The first thing you noticed when you looked at Josh was his hair. He’d told you recently that he was trying to grow it out on the sides, going for a full head of curling hair. You hadn’t seen him recently enough to see the progress, though, and it looked great on him. 

“All right!” Josh had screamed into the mic, hyping up the packed house, receiving screams from everyone watching. Jake strummed a little note which made you immediately hone in on him, but he seemed irritated, strumming a few more times, shaking his head.

Josh glanced over at his twin, sensing the issue, and he smiled back at the crowd. “How we feeling?!” He raised his hands, eliciting more screams as Jake continued strumming, finally gaining some help from someone in their little backstage crew. The curly headed twin gave Jake another look, but Jake’s back was turned as he worked with the crew member to get the problem figured out. 

Josh walked over to his twin, checking out the problem for himself. They were having the smallest conversation before Jake shook his head at Josh, and then the crew member. He turned around, effectively giving up on the issue. He played another chord, checking, but his brows were still drawn in with irritation.

What was going on? Was he okay? You suddenly had an incredibly impulsive urge to go check on him. But you stood your ground as he felt out a few more notes, shrugging shortly and giving a curt nod to Josh as a go ahead. 

Josh once again smiled so wide it looked like it hurt. You could tell he was trying his hardest to alleviate any sort of tension for the crowd. Fortunately, the crowd seemed oblivious, playing into it as a sort of bit, it seemed.

You took a few seconds to send a text to your sweet, empathetic friend to let him know you were there and that you wanted to get a drink after the show.

You hated seeing him stressed- especially on stage. You were feeling it with him and with Jake.

“How about a new one?” He asked, receiving a plethora of yells and screams. You smiled with the crowd. “This next one is called Edge of Darkness. . .and it’s about. . .the edge of darkness.”

You giggled at him. He was a great frontman. The people were soaking it all up, laughing with him, and screaming for more. 

But you had to check back in on Jake. He seemed to be doing better, still upset, but he smiled tightly to a few screaming girls in front. 

He started playing, his face saying that something was not blending together like you knew he wanted it to. But you couldn’t tell the difference, so you knew the crowd couldn’t, either. 

It didn’t stop him from turning to check the amp a couple more times before suddenly, he was ripping through the most erotic guitar solo you’d ever heard him play live.

Fuck. The song was called the ‘Edge of Darkness’, and it was ironic because you felt like you were on the edge of some kind of dark shit. Watching him manipulate those strings with such precision and intent, his hips fucking (yes, fucking) into his guitar. It was unlike anything else he’d ever done with that guitar. . .you were absolutely sure of it.

You were sweating. And you knew it wasn’t from proximity to any people around you. No, it was from watching him go to this secret place that you wanted to join. 

His facial expressions were driving you insane. All you could imagine was seeing those faces above you as your body replaced the guitar. Bent over, with him fucking into you with the same vigor he was giving his instrument.

Then he threw it behind his fucking head. It got you every. time. He made it look so effortless— so easy for him to balance it there (though you knew it wasn’t), while he still played all of the intricate chords. He was a natural—a true rockstar. 

You wondered what else he was a natural at. 

You were squirming underneath your skin, your palms were clammy and when you moved a bit, you noticed your thong was uncomfortably damp between your legs. And your jeans made it impossible to move to fix the issue. 

These solos of his. . .fuck. They were the sole cause for your sexual frustration after these shows. Why you’d had to replace vibrators in the past month. 

But tonight? Tonight, you wouldn’t need the help of your hand or a tool. No, tonight, you planned on going home with him— to take care of it with his help.

-🌼🌼🌼-

But as you waited out in the bar area after the show, after sending Jake a text on how well he did, you were met with radio silence on his end. 

It sat there, glaring at you in the blue bubble. 

You, 10:43 p.m.: You fuckin killed it. So glad I came.

It had now been several minutes since the show had ended and since you’d sent the message, and looking at the time on your phone, you realized it had now been closer to an hour. 

What was taking them so long? Their crew packed their shit up now . . . so where were they?

You weren’t able to wonder too much longer, hearing Josh’s voice come up right behind you. 

But he didn’t have his usual bounce. He sounded super pissed.

“Your roommate’s a dick,” he sat in the seat at the bar next to you. He ran two hands through his growing hair and then put both of his hands over his face. He sat there like that until the bartender came up, removing them when they asked what he wanted. “Strongest thing you have.”

“Josh?” You tentatively reached a hand out to touch his bare shoulder. He’d worn his little brown vest he loved so much, sans a shirt underneath. “You okay?”

When he looked at you, he looked sorry for how he’d been acting. And he said as much. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. Jake just—,” he put his face into his crossed arms on the bar to growl, then he faced you again. “He’s been in a piss mood all fucking night, and when he’s mad, I feel it all the way down to my bones. I also just get really fed up with his little attitude he gets when something goes wrong. It’s annoying as hell and I get tired of it.”

You could relate—you also hated Jake’s pissant attitude when he was upset over something. Though, in this circumstance, you felt inclined to be the devil’s advocate.

“Josh. . .you also get upset when things go wrong. You’re the biggest perfectionist I know.”

“Apparently you don’t know Jake, then. And you’re one to talk!” He spat. Then he groaned again, his eyes sympathetic when he looked at you. “I’m sorry. I know. I agree with you. I’m sorry. He just. . . seemed off all night and it already bothers me when he’s upset over something and he wasn’t telling me everyth— my twin intuition always knows when he isn’t telling me everything. And tonight he sure as hell had something else on his mind that he refused to give any weight to,” the bartender came up with a shot of something. Josh threw it back, and shook his head, coughing just a bit. His eyes bulged the slightest bit.

You couldn’t help your little laugh at him. He needed that. Take the fucking edge off. “Strong like you wanted?”

He gave you a grin, his eyes easier than they were before. You relaxed, realizing you were absolutely feeling that tension with him. You felt especially better when he waved the server back over to ask for a salty dog. That’s more like it.

“Anyway,” he started, swiveling his body to be facing towards you, one arm on the bar. “Sam and Daniel didn’t even have to be subjected to it. They left to meet up with a couple of their other friends before he exploded on me. Just me! And they don’t get those same inklings from him that I do. Being a twin is both a blessing and a curse. I swear we fuckin’ share a brain sometimes.”

His movements, facing you like this on his barstool, made you think of when Jake had sat next to you like this—the night he’d kept you close, taken you home, and then cut things short. Everything you’d felt that night coming back tenfold. 

 . . . Where was he? It didn’t matter where he was. Really. But you were curious. 

“Where is Jake?” You tried to play it cool, because that’s what you were. Cool. It was nothing. You went ahead and softened the question by complimenting his growing hair. “And I like your hair.”

“Thanks. Biotin vitamins, I swear to God,” he patted the sides of his ‘do, giving you a cheeky smirk. “And Jake—. Thank you,” he said to the bartender, giving her a quick wink as she sat his drink on his coaster. “He went back to your place. Didn’t wanna stay around for a good time. He was not in the mood.”

Your heart sank.

What? He’d gone home?

But he'd asked you to come tonight? Had he gotten your texts? Surely he had. There was no reason he wouldn’t’ve. All of a sudden, you felt extremely stupid for sending them. . .for thinking anymore of tonight than you should have. For worrying about him from the balcony. When he didn’t even care to stay to see you. 

He was the most unpredictable asshole and you were foolish to think, for even a split second, that he wasn’t. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Luckily, Josh was ready to end the night fairly early. 

You were glad because you weren’t in the mood to entertain after having your feelings hurt (stupidly) by Jake leaving and not telling you. It was the smallest thing to be upset over, you knew. Your heart had gotten ahead of you, and into something ridiculous. 

On your drive home, you kept telling yourself that you were done with all Jake related thoughts. You shouldn’t give two shits about the man. Really. He’d been a jerk from day one. And even though he’d had a few instances of being someone so wonderful. . . he kept doing things that just reminded you that maybe he was just incapable of being consistent.

You were worried about what you’d go home to. Afraid of hearing him and a girl from his bedroom, seeing them on your couch. . . You were tired of not being able to keep up with him. It was exhausting. 

And as much as you told yourself he didn’t matter, you knew you were lying to yourself. You’d made him matter the past couple months—let him matter. Too many times you’d let him get to you. And as much as you wanted to regret it, you couldn’t fully let yourself do that yet. 

The stubborn, stupid part of you wanting to give him a chance. Wondering what had happened tonight that got him so upset. 

You cared. . .even though you really wished you didn’t. 

So as you traipsed through your front door, you were relieved when all of the lights were turned off, and there was no sight or sound of a woman. Only Stevie, who came up to purr against your calves. Feeling bad for your hungry kitty, you quickly went to drop your purse to the table so you could feed her.  

But when you looked in her dish, there was already fresh kibble in the bowl. You hadn’t fed her before you’d left. . . 

Had Jake . . .? Obviously. Your heart perked at the gesture.

Then, the sound of a guitar being strummed from his bedroom stopped your thoughts. Stevie went to eat, and you left her to do so as you walked towards the sound. 

You weren’t choosing your path. . . your feet were simply leading you, your mind hardly keeping up with what you were going to do once you got to his room. 

Just felt a want to see him. Talk to him. 

Why?

You’d worry about that later. Didn’t want to think about that for the time being.

Once you got to his door, you noticed it wasn't fully closed. You didn’t think as you pushed it open. 

And then, there you were. And there he was, facing the door, his concert attire still fully on. He looked up at you from his spot, stopping the strumming abruptly. 

But his eyes weren’t kind. He wasn’t happy. He was still feeling the anger Josh had been talking about. 

Not giving two shits how he’d react, you didn’t hold back. You were still pissed, too. At him. 

“It’s not fucking kind to invite someone to something and then leave them there without a damn hello or goodbye.”

He blinked, his lip curling to show a sarcastic smile. “You’re gonna pull that shit?”

You stepped further into his room, coming close enough to him that your knees were almost touching his, where he sat at the edge of his bed, his hand clutching the acoustic with a tight grip. Too tight. 

“What the fuck, Jake? Of course I’m going to ‘pull that shit.’ It was a fuckin’ prick move and I didn’t appreciate it.”

“It’s a prick move to keep someone waiting for a response about whether or not you’ll be somewhere when I can see damn well your schedule on that fridge, saying all week that you didn’t work tonight,” he got up to place his guitar on the stand next to his bed. He kept careful to not touch you as he moved. Wow. He placed it delicately, in stark contrast to his sharp movements. He spun on his heel to face you. “Why don’t you care, y/n? You don’t have to fucking come if you don’t care. I’d rather you stay home if you don’t want to be there when I invite you.” 

“What made you think I don’t care?!”

“You kept me hanging! All week,” he angrily brushed a hand through his hair, growling with the motion when a ring got stuck in the locks. “Fuck!” He started pulling down his bed covers, not looking at you as he argued. “You don’t do that when it’s my brother. He wants you there, you’re fuckin’ there. With me, when I ask you, you’re always late and you barely even tell me you’re coming. It’s obvious who you’re really going to see and I’m tired of you acting like you care about me when you really only care about Josh.”

“What?! First of all, you knew I worked the night of your first show. I didn’t want to. . .I got fucking called in— so don’t you dare hold that against me!” You came closer to him, hitting his arm to make him stop the unmaking of his bed. “Quit doing that and fucking listen to me!”

He went rigid, throwing the covers dramatically, stopping like you asked. He stood stiff as a board with his arms crossed at his chest. He motioned a hand for you to continue, almost mocking. “Go on. Enlighten me.”

You shoved his chest. “Stop it!” You crossed your own arms, your heart beating so hard in your chest. “Stop with the Josh shit. Anytime either of you ask, I’m there. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner about tonight. I’ve just been—I don’t know,” you’d been thinking about him. How badly you wanted to do him after the show tonight. “Distracted?”

“School?” He questioned, seeming genuinely concerned.

You shook your head, not wanting to lie. “No. Not school. I don’t know how to explain—,” you looked into his eyes. They were hardening again. “I don’t know. Just distracted.” 

He shook his head. He was in the dark. There was no way he’d know the full truth unless you told him. But you weren’t sure how to articulate it. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his jaw set. “Thank you, y/n. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Jake— seriously. Please sto—.”

“I just—dammit!” He combed a hand through his hair and got the same ring stuck. Having enough, he took the one piece of offensive jewelry off, and placed it delicately on his desk behind him. He locked eyes with you again. “The other night in the bathroom, you—I could have sworn you—but you—you told me— I just can’t keep up!”

“I can’t keep up with you!” You yelled back, momentarily worrying about neighbors. It was very late.

You were at a loss. 

You surveyed him, his chest was heaving like yours. Walking a few steps forward, your chest was almost touching his— you softly grabbed at the front of his light red T-shirt, eager for him to hear. His breathing seemed to slow at you being so close. Your eyes held each other, his were questioning.

It was now or never. The frantic beating of your heart, sounding in your ears. You were shaking. You were tired of him thinking he knew best. 

What you were most tired of was tiptoeing around—the barely missing each other. 

“I’m only asking one more time. What do you want?” He begged, reminding you of Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.

You would have giggled at the similarity if you weren’t feeling the seriousness of this moment. 

There was so much to say, but only one thing left to say, all at once. . .

You stood there, sharing breaths, for a few still seconds. Could have been minutes. You were lost in the beautiful gaze of his deep, dark eyes.

Your heart slowed, your breath catching in your throat while your stomach dropped to your knees.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said lowly, grabbing at his shirt with a sturdier hand. You weren’t scared—only sure. So fucking sure. And beyond ready. 

His jaw went slack. It almost looked like he wanted to say something to challenge you, but he bit his lip. Instead, he grabbed softly at your jaw, curving his hand up to cradle your head, softly under your flowing hair. 

“Well I can fucking do that.” Was all he said as he dove in, securing your lips with his. 

He sucked on your bottom lip and penetrated your mouth with his smooth tongue. He tasted like minty gum and cigarettes. Usually, you found it repulsive to kiss someone with the taste of nicotine in their mouth, but with Jake . . . It was suddenly everything you’d ever wanted in a kiss. 

You lost yourself in the moment. In him. There was nothing stopping you now. 

Continuing to kiss you, he turned you both, until the backs of your legs softly hit the edge of his bed. Taking that as your cue, you went to sit down on the sheets. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, his delicious hips right at eye level with you now. He took initiative and pushed them the rest of the way down, stepping out of them.

Then all you could see in front of you was him, bursting at the seams in his pink, AE briefs. Fuck, he was so cute and sexy all at once. You didn’t know how he did it. 

Your mouth watered as you went to pull down his briefs. But he put a hand on yours to stop you, the cold metal of his rings a contrast to your heated skin.

You looked up, your eyebrows dipping in question. 

“Not yet,” he corrected. Then he took his shirt off, exposing his beautifully soft, tanned, and perfectly toned chest. A long necklace laid against his stomach, and you used it to pull him down to you. 

You laid back, his legs coming to rest in between yours as he crawled onto the bed to follow you. He unwrapped the necklace from his neck, putting it on his small bedside table. Using the time he was preoccupied, you pushed his underwear down his thighs, watching his face to see his reaction. 

He teasingly rolled his eyes at you. 

“Damn, woman,” he chuckled under his breath, showing his perfectly straight teeth. Beautiful man. He finished the job, kicking them off. “One track mind or what?”

Rolling your eyes back at him, you gave a quiet grin and clicked your tongue. “Whatever, Kiszka.”

But he wasn’t wrong. You wanted to see him. Fully.

And you were glad you got your way, because fuck. 

He was stunning. Even more so when you could fully see it, without the dimness of the bathroom lights at Baby's. How could a cock be so pretty?

You reached out to touch him. He shivered at the feeling of your cool skin on his heated, swollen flesh. So soft, smooth. . .thick.

Shit.

His precum was already leaking from his pretty pink tip. 

Your mouth was watering. Your need to have your hands on him clouded your every thought. 

But before you could do anything more than run your fingers over him, he was moving his body to be on top of yours, your hands falling from him. You edged up the bed, him following after you. His eyes were hungry, and his hands were purposeful and strong as he quickly unfastened your jeans, pulling them off in one smooth motion. 

Your pussy throbbed at how close it was to happening. How close you were to finally feeling him. Fulfilling the need you’d discovered too long ago. 

Taking off your cropped t-shirt as he stripped you of your panties, you hissed as your wet mound met the air of his room. You made quick work of your bra. 

He sat above you, gently cupping your bare pussy, while watching your naked chest rise and fall as you took several deep breaths, waiting. You ground into the palm of his hand, needing the friction. He then moved his hands, grazing them up your thighs, hips, waist, and finally let them settle on the outer curve of your breasts. 

Your skin grew goosebumps, your nipples hardening to peaks in the cool air of his bedroom. He seemed mesmerized. His mouth was slightly opened, his eyes studying your chest with every breath you took. 

“Jake?” You whispered, breaking his stare at your breasts and making him look into your eyes. 

“Sorry,” he blinked a few times, shaking his head with a little grin, balancing his hands on either side of your head. He leaned down to give your lips a sweet kiss. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen all of you . . .,” He leaned on a forearm, and reached to your chest again, holding one breast in his hand, massaging it as his thumb skated over the nipple. “Beautiful,” he praised, looking you right in the eye. Oh, Jake.

Then, his mouth attached to the opposite breast, his lips sucked gently, his tongue flicking out to lick the nipple. 

You felt it everywhere, your toes curling at his touch. And with a sigh, you leaned into his mouth, needing more. Needing all he could give. 

“Fuck, Jake,” you whined. “Your mouth feels so good.”

And then he switched breasts, making sure to give each the same treatment. . . Holy sweet hell. You were done for. 

Your body shook, feeling your nerve endings spasm. No one else had ever stimulated you this much, this way. You didn’t know you could feel so much from a man only lapping at your chest. He was magic. 

“Jake,” you keened, your chest pushing further into his mouth. Your hips thrusting up to meet his. Fuck. With both of you having your pants off, he almost entered you at the motion. And damn the temptation was too much. “Shiiiit.”

He continued to worship your chest, and when you met his hips again, he bucked into yours, deliciously rough, matching a thrust. You felt him, hard, and fitting right between your wet folds, so close to being inside you. 

You saw stars, closing your eyes. 

Fuck.

You heard the softest groan against your breast. You looked down at him, lavishing at your supple skin. One thick brow was raised, but then he pulled them in, in concentration, as he rocked into you again. Shit. 

You couldn’t help the cry that escaped you. Or the words that followed. 

“Please, Jake. Please,” you didn’t know what you were asking for. Just needed more of him. You pushed your hands into his hair, growing confidence from your position. You pushed his face further into you, and you felt him bite at your nipple. Your hips naturally came to meet his and with all of it—fuck—your moan was pornographic. “I need you,” you pushed up, grinding your hips into his. “Here,” you did it again for emphasis, your pussy aching for him.

He released the nipple he’d been sucking with a pop. There was a snicker at your chest, and you saw the dimple in his cheek when he smirked. But before he did anything else, he moved back up your body, your chests finally touching. He had a hand still holding snug to a breast. He squeezed it once, your clit thrummed at the motion and you once again pushed your front to his. 

He kissed the column of your neck softly, trailing kisses from there, all the way to the corner of your mouth. You moved to meet your lips with his, your hand still tangled in his wavy hair. 

You kissed lazily for a few minutes, just enjoying the taste of each other. Your pussy still occasionally grazing his impossibly hard front. You’d moan into each other’s mouths every time. . .absolutely euphoric.

When you came up for air, you let yourself get lost in the chocolate pools of his irises. He was so handsome. So pretty. You couldn’t help the hand that came to hold his cheek, the other one still combing through his hair. 

He gave the corner of your mouth one more peck before he rasped, moving to give the same kiss to the swell of each of your breasts. “Your tits . . .,” he blew out a breath against your skin, making the flesh erupt in goosebumps. You sighed. “Fuck, y/n. They’re perfect. So soft and full. . .” One more kiss to each, this time with tongue. “Fuckin’ perfect.”

Then his slick tongue was moving from your chest, down your stomach, and over your right thigh. He hitched both of your legs up, to be bent at the knee. Giving him better access to what you knew he was about to do. He gave your pussy the same long look he gave your breast, admiring what was in front of him. He licked his lips at the sight. 

Your heart was racing. 

And without warning, his tongue found you, flattening on your sensitive clit. It was so hard, with only the slightest direct contact from his tongue, you were bucking your hips into his face. He used two strong hands to grasp and hold your hips to the bed, making sure to soothe your position by making wide, smooth circles with his thumbs in the hidden flushed dips between your thighs and groin. 

He then dipped his tongue to curve into the growing wetness between your folds. You gasped as he lapped at your arousal, occasionally moaning into you as he would lick. He continued like that for long enough that you weren’t sure you could see straight. Your legs were weak from your position. It was almost as if he was enjoying this—simply getting to taste you, feel you against his mouth. 

And suddenly, you felt your body begin to tremble uncontrollably, your every sense becoming heightened. The feeling of him was all-consuming. You couldn’t deny it any longer, the growing sensation in the pit of your belly threatening to give way at any moment. And he knew it. The work of his mouth became more intense, more fervorous, more hungry. His plush lips working your throbbing cunt into a frenzy until you finally gave in. 

He hardly took his mouth off of you, only enough to speak his velvet soft voice against your soaked pussy, his breath hot against the wet skin. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Let me have it.”

Then it hit you, harder than it ever had. You suddenly realized that you’d been deprived your entire life of this feeling, no man had ever done that to you. Let alone with just his mouth. 

You came back to, arching into him as you felt his tongue make a perfect circle around the still-tight bud of your sensitive clit. You could hardly control your tremors as your body had felt the ultimate test of ecstasy. 

Then you heard a little whimper from Jake, and you looked down through hazy eyes to see his eyebrows were drawn deeper than you’d ever seen them. 

A movement caught your eyes further down. His hips were thrusting, and with each rut of them, he kept forcefully meeting the mattress. You felt his bed shake with each jerk of his hips. Your clit twitched at the sensation of the bed rocking and his mouth on you. You could only imagine what it would be like when he was inside you. You felt the vibration of a growl against your pussy.

“Jake. . .,” you moaned. He hummed against you, which you presumed was a response to you. You hitched your hips up to meet his mouth as he curled his tongue to fit in the small hole between your folds, which gained him an involuntary shake from your body and a whine from you. He then trailed his tongue all the way up from your hidden spot, to hit the sensitive underside of your clit. You groaned loudly at the way his tongue was intermittently flicking against and massaging your overly sensitive bundle of nerves. 

He whimpered again, and his brows creased so closely together. You felt another jolt beneath you as the bed shook with a rather forceful thrust from his hips. You knew he was either really enjoying himself or was getting tired and really wanted his own release. From past experience with men, you assumed the latter. 

“Jake,” you started scooting your body up the bed. You got flashbacks to nights cut too short when you said his name like that. You knew he did, too, as his mouth lifted from you and his dark eyes met your own.

“You said you wanted this,” he grunted in response, his forehead falling to lay on your thigh in defeat.

“I do, Ja—.”

He interrupted you when he dug his fingers into your hips harder, pulling you back down to meet his slick tongue. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the feeling of him lapping at you with the force he was exuding to seemingly keep you in your spot.  

You tugged at his hair harder, trying to signal him to stop. As much as you didn’t want him to stop, it wasn’t fair for you to have all of the attention. He needed his release.

He slowly, hesitantly stopped and looked up at you, and you saw his eyes soften the slightest bit at your face. You knew you probably looked concerned, as that was how you were feeling for him. 

“Are you okay?” He lifted his body from the spot he’d been laying in between your legs. He laid his body beside yours, and his swollen cock came to heavily sit on top of your leg. 

You could have drooled at the sight of it flush against your skin. Fuck.

“You need release, too, Jake,” you combed your fingers through his hair. He wrinkled his brows at that. You continued, “I’ve already finished once; you don’t have to give me any more attention.”

He leaned back a bit, seeming offended. “You don’t want me to keep going?”

You pulled him by his shoulders, back to where he’d been, and reassured. “No, I want you to keep going—Goddamn, babe. . .but I also want to make sure you are able to feel satisfied and taken care of,” you sat up, and moved down the bed, so you were looking right at his thickness. You got him to position himself to be where you just were, his back against the headboard. You stared up at him through your lashes as you spit onto his aching head, then grasped his dick in your hand, all in one fluid motion. 

His eyelids dropped, and his Amber-brown irises darkened. You gave him one slight squeeze and you saw the muscles in his thighs tighten and his head fall back slightly. But his gaze stayed on you. 

Giving him one more pump, you rolled your thumb over the head. He groaned, but you weren’t able to give him any more attention as he flipped your body to be under his again in one swift motion. 

You squinted at him from your new position, “Why can’t I—?”

“You act as if I wasn’t satisfied with what I was doing before,” he retorted, voice low and face right above yours. 

“You were obviously wanting more. You were—I wanted to help because you kept. . . thrusting into the mattress,” you blinked up into his sultry glare. “I could tell—.”

“I was fucking the mattress because I loved getting to tongue fuck the hell out of your perfect pussy,” he snapped. 

Your body tingled at his words. This man. 

But you didn’t want your desire to please him to be ignored. You reflected the glare that was still shading his features. “Why do you always have to get your way?” You argued.

He huffed, “My way?” He went down to bite the inner curve of your right breast. You moaned, feeling your nipples harden even more at the sensation. He continued his way down your body, “If I would have had my way this wouldn’t be—," You thrusted up into his stiff dick again. You smirked when he bit his lip, eyes closing to stave off your distraction. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, y/n,” his eyes bore into you, then he worked his way down to where he was, once again, settled between your legs. He gave you one lick up your folds. You whispered his name, shaking. So sensitive. So delicious. “Have I wanted your mouth on my dick for a long ass time? Fuck yes. But I’ve also wanted this again. Give me this. I want this.”

“Jake, you don’t have to say that just becau—.”

He closed his eyes and groaned. “Can you not fucking argue with me for once?” 

“Can you just fucking listen to me? I want to make sure you—.”

He forcefully entered you with one finger, his thumb reaching up to rub over your hard clit. You threw your head back, looking down at him with lust clouding your vision. You wanted to be angry with him for interrupting you, but dammit . . . you just couldn’t be. 

He pumped it in and out a few times before putting the finger in his mouth, closing his eyes and moaning. “You taste so fuckin’ delicious, baby.”

His usage of the pet name made your brain short circuit for a few seconds, but you got distracted from it because suddenly, his face was back, right above yours. His forearms caged you in, on either side of your head. His hair was draping around you like a curtain. It felt so familiar. . .so wonderful.

And now, you knew it was about to happen. 

You felt the head of his cock at your entrance, just as you had at Baby’s. 

But this time. . .this time it was different. So different. You couldn’t pinpoint how or why—it just was.

You looked down to where your bodies were so close to finally connecting. When you looked into his eyes, you noticed he was waiting for you. 

For some reason, you felt as though he’d been studying your face while you were looking away. He seemed so content to simply be watching you, waiting for you, until you found his eyes. 

When your eyes met his, you saw the smile that filled his amber-brown irises. It was a sweet moment that felt like it would forever be locked in time. You stayed there, him above  you. And somehow, you knew he was waiting for permission. So, you nodded your head. 

And without a second thought, his eyes still honing in on yours, he entered you. 

You could’ve sang, you were so relieved to feel him like this. Finally. 

“So fucking tight,” he grunted, letting his tip meet your most secret spot inside. Ohhh yeah. You wanted to fuckin’ purr.

It had been awhile . . . and Jake had noticed by your tightness. But as he rolled his hips the slightest bit, helping you adjust, hitting you right where you needed him, deep inside—there was no questioning that the man knew what the hell he was doing. 

Just like your thoughts earlier tonight. . .he was a natural. 

You continued to wince a little, since he was so thick. It took a second to stretch to his size, and he let you, moving around enough from inside to help you. But he felt so damn good, you didn’t want to stay like that for too long. You needed more. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, needing to feel closer to him. His hair tickled the back of your hand.

Though, when you’d looked back at his face, his eyes were stuck on you, seeming to be caught in a trance, a relaxed, loose grin fitting to his pink lips.

You moved your hips just a bit. He felt you move, and he seemed to come back, his eyes locking in on your lips. He gave into the urge, kissing you, letting his tongue explore your mouth briefly, you doing the same to his mouth.

Then, when you came up for air, breathing so hard, you shared this look. Such fondness behind the gaze. It was almost too much. But like all things with Jake, it felt right.

You played with the ends of his hair, where your arms were crossed at his back. Maybe you could stay like this forever. 

But then he moved out slowly, and pushed back into you, hard and to the hilt. You felt his balls hit the bottom of your ass and you almost crossed your eyes at the ecstasy of it all. 

He rocked into you like that a few more times, a little slower, moving steadily. 

Then he switched things up. 

He held your body up, his dick still firmly inside of you as he sat up on his knees, leaning back on his heels. He balanced your ass on his thighs and pushed a pillow up behind you, sitting you up, your back against the headboard. Your legs moved of their own accord to be on either side of his hips.  

The position had you completely open to him, as your legs were spread wide, his cock pulsing inside of you. He bit his lip, focusing. It was like he was admiring a piece of art, not able to take his eyes from it. Deep in thought. 

And all of a sudden, you felt extremely vulnerable. Every piece of you on full display, save for your backside which sat perfectly on his bare thighs. So, still. He had every piece of you open to him, around him, or on top of him.

You almost spoke, but he beat you to it. 

“You are so fucking beautiful, y/n. Dammit,” he said with awe laced beautifully in his raspy voice, hitched on his next words. “This is— you are . . .,” he shook his head, and was never able to come up with the words. Instead, he just continued to let his eyes graze over you.

You felt your entire body heat at his words, the intimacy of all this. You felt emotional hearing the words, being like this with him. It was the most open and vulnerable you’d felt with a man in a long time (maybe ever), and he was seeming to treasure it just as much as you. 

His hands held your waist as you tangled a hand in his hair, and looped one arm over his shoulders - both of your chests heaving, needy.

He then brought you forward, until your clit was positioned to rub right below his belly button. You gasped at the full change in position, his cock as deep as it could go. You used the new angle as leverage and went onto the pads of your feet, raising off of him briefly, and then you slowly sank back down onto his throbbing length.

The moan he let out was heavenly. It made you feel like you were on top of the world, the way his mouth hung open. You continued to rise, and sink back down. Long and slow motions that helped you both to feel all of each other. Once you got more confident, you started swiveling your hips as you started to bounce on top of him. 

After a few more swings of your hips, he used his hold on your waist and lifted you off of him. 

You unabashedly let out a small cry at the loss of him inside you, but you moved with him. You positioned yourself to be on all fours, ass facing him— going with his motions and assuming that’s what he wanted. 

The hiss you heard leave his mouth when you were in position, and the way he kneaded your plush ass cheeks with his calloused fingertips made you smirk with victory. You knew exactly what he wanted. 

“You like that?” You breathed at him, wiggling your round ass at him, grinding back on his hardness. You felt him quiver at your movement. Then you felt a hard smack against your right asscheek. “Fuck— Jake!”

He soothed the spot, massaging it the slightest bit, and before you had time to fully process the first hit, he went in for another slap on the other cheek. 

You jolted with a squeak, surprised, but fully welcoming it. 

Fuck yeah. Did he like things rough? If so, you were here for it. 

Tossing your hair over your shoulder, you pointedly made eye contact with his hooded gaze. He had a knowing smirk on his face, matching your own expression. 

He gave you two more slaps, one for each side, and this time you felt the cold metal of his rings with the hits. Oh fuck. 

You pushed back on him, wanting more. His thick cock, snug between your sore cheeks at this angle. 

But instead, he flipped you to lay on your back again. Where was this strength coming from? Dear God. 

How easily he maneuvered your body, wherever he wanted it to go. . . You bit your lip. Fuck. It was like you were his little instrument, moving you every which way, like he threw his guitar behind his head so effortlessly—that was you right now. 

Your core convulsed at the thought. 

Jake set an arm next to your head, and the other above, almost cradling it to not hit the headboard. Then he sunk his pulsing dick into your waiting, dripping cunt. At this point, you were getting fairly acquainted with his size, so you grabbed his perfectly round backside, burying him the deepest he could be in you. 

You also used this position to sway your hips up, each stroke on his dick intentional. Throwing in a little trick of yours, you tightened your muscles to grip his length with each roll of your hips, making him fit even more snug, inside of you. 

“Oh baby,” he groaned at the feeling, the first time you did it. And after a few more, he tapped your hip. “If you don’t stop, I’m not gonna last.”

He was trembling above you. His arm was shaking next to your head. 

“Y/n, baby—fuck,” he grunted, tapping at your hip harder. He wasn’t ready to be done. Neither were you. So you tapped him right back, motioning for him to move off of you. 

After he’d moved, you went to lay partially on your side and partially on your belly. You lifted your ass to indicate you were ready. And in one smooth move, his chest was against your back, his arms back where they were before, but in the new position. He slowly slid in, feeling out the new angle. 

You loved it. One of your new favorites. 

“I love this fuckin’ view of you, y/n,” he groaned, his breath hitting your shoulder. “And the way you feel like this—goddamn.”

He was filling you up, all the way, except this time, you had the combined feeling of him inside, while his smooth sac hit your pussy with each languid pump of his hips. 

You watched how his bicep and fist flexed at the same time, with each thrust, so purposeful. 

Damn him for being so sexy.

His hips started moving quicker, almost of their own accord. And before you knew it, he was pounding into you, his balls slapping hard against you. 

The sounds—the way it felt— perfection.

Your toes curled. Ecstasy. He kept hitting your hidden spot inside; your clit was getting friction from his sheets; and the back of your pussy was getting attention, too. Fuck. This position was going in the books.

Without warning, you felt the arm next to you move, his hand going to sweep swift circles on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“Jaaaake,” you whined, sounding completely pathetic. Sweat was beading at your forehead. Your folds were spasming, your pussy ready to let go. “Fuck, baby.”

You couldn’t hold it anymore. All of it combined—the loud slaps of flesh, the sweat, his hand, the pressure of his pretty dick stretching your tender pussy- hitting every part of you—damn.

You came for the second time that night with a curl from your hands and toes, and a loud sob.

“Doing so good, y/n,” he pushed his chest closer to your back, feeling your release against his hand and helping you ride the wave. And all of a sudden, his hips started rutting, so erratically against your ass, his dick pulsing inside with each roll of his hips. “I’m gonna—where do you—fuck! Y/n—.”

Shit. You almost forgot. You weren’t on the pill. You’d just gone off a few months ago. Shit shit shit shit.

Momentarily snapping from your hazy afterglow, you grasped his hip. “Dammit—on my back!” 

Thankfully, he pulled out in time, and with a small moan from his perfect lips, hot spurts of his cum met your back, shiny from sweat. 

After, he laid above you, one shaking arm still above you, the other now holding your tummy. Okay, now you hated this position. You couldn't easily flip to see his face. And you wanted to see him.

He made quick work of reaching for his T-shirt from earlier to clean off your back. 

“Wanna see your face,” he sighed, rubbing at your shoulder. 

You grinned at the sentiment, wanting so desperately to see him, too. So, you rolled onto your back, letting an arm fall above your head, and the other lay across your stomach, replacing where his had been. In a daze, you watched him as he cleaned up his cock, still glistening from your climax. 

Changing your line of sight, you let yourself watch his face as he cleaned himself. His lips were slightly parted, his top lip curled a bit to show some of his top row of teeth. He was focused. And damn he looked good like that. 

But you already knew that. 

Finally, he was done, and he threw the shirt over the side of the bed, joining the pile of clothes on the ground. 

He went to lay just as you had, but with extended an arm for you to curl into.

You should have left. Gone back to your room. You’d gotten what you wanted.

And this was wrong. If it went too far, it could seriously hurt Jake. Make Josh impossibly angry with you for corrupting his brother. . .

But before you could even begin to move, focus too hard on any reasonable thought whatsoever, your head filled with Elsie’s voice, wise with the conversation you’d had that day, in the entryway. 

“I’m saying. . .what if it’s possible he could just want you in his bed and nothing else?” She’d scratched her head. “Would that hurt anything or anyone? I mean, you’ve made it seem to me that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to him. So if you did that, who would it hurt?”

You glanced up at his face, his eyes drooping to follow the sleep you were also craving. His lids fluttered against his smooth skin - his sharp features. Yeah, you were good on that, still . . . no emotional attachment. But he was nice to look at.

Your voice from that day sprang to your mind, fighting.

“Elsie, that’s a stupid plan that could go horribly wrong,” she’d gasped at your insult to her idea. And you’d leveled her with a stare. “And you know it.”

“I do, I do,” she’d reassured. “But what if you just cut it off when it starts to feel like too much?”

You looked to his hands, drumming mindlessly against his hard, tanned stomach. His mouth hummed an unknown tune. You wanted to sink into him. But you knew you could cut it off. You were a pro at that.

“You think I could do that?” You hadn’t been able to believe you were actually starting to give substance to her idea in your head. 

(And here you were doing it again.)

“You’re pretty damn good at burying things right down to the pits of hell, so. . .,” She’d blinked at you, almost innocently with her savage plan leaving her lips. “What’s the harm in giving it a shot? I mean, just one time, at least?”

So, you used your sister’s words from the past as your pass to let yourself be exactly where you wanted to be right now: in his warm, safe, strong arms. It had been now one time. You'd given it a shot. . .

But what if . . .?

And just as you settled into him, your cheek resting on his toned pec, his heart beating steadily underneath, you heard the last of Elsie’s words from that conversation, inspiring you even more to do this. 

To force some substance on this otherwise ridiculous, horrible idea. 

She’d glanced to the side, letting her eyes wander mysteriously for a second. “I think it would be good for you to live on the edge. Just once.” 

And that was all you needed in that sweet, quiet moment, letting yourself cozy up, right into Jake’s chest. . .feeling him kiss the crown of your head. 

Tomorrow could worry about itself.

Because right now? Right now, you were the most blissed out - the most comfortable you’d ever been. 

You weren’t fucking ready to lose this yet, dammit.

And as you drifted off, seconds later, his soft snores lulling you peacefully, you could only hope that he wasn’t ready to lose this—whatever the hell this was—yet, either. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i'm so ready to share what's coming... i wish i could tell you guys (gn)!! it's killingggg me. anywayssss... please let me know your thoughts! you know i love hearing from you all :) &lt;3

(I will say, I've been giving sporadic hints from the first chapter of what's to come. . . hmmm. who thinks they can guess what's going to turn Reader's life upside down?)

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf

[anime-related]

AU where L and Light go to To-Oh together before the Death Note is dropped. (Whether Light is Kira is up to you, I think it'd be cool either way)

While L and the cops are investigating Kira, Light and L have began a relationship. Now, Soichiro (lights dad, if your memory is as bad as mine) is working with L, but has also literally seen him in the house.

Sufficed to say, he's shocked when he meets L and it's his son's college friend. Even more so when Light calls L nearing the end of a meeting and hears them talk more than platonically.

Here's some little excerpts my mind made up. I've watched the show only once, so I'm sorry if/that it's ooc

"Hello. I am here to see Light."

"Light! There's a weird guy at the door!" Sayu called. She glanced at him. "No offense."

"None taken," L dismissed.

Light ran down the stairs, smiling at the sight of L in the door.

"Hey! I picked up some cake, and we can go play that game I talked about."

"I figured as much, since that's why I'm here," L said. Light rolled his eyes fondly.

They walked into the kitchen, where his father was getting water.

"Oh, you must be Soichiro Yagami. Police chief, solved over 30 cases."

"Wow, Light. I had no idea you talked about me all that much."

"He doesn't."

Upon setting their sights on L, Soichiro's mind went blank. He would've never guessed. What were the chances. While everyone else was making their judgments on L and his appearance, Soichiro was trying to combine Ryuzaki with L in his mind.

He ignored it. It'd be safer for both of them if they didn't bring their personal lives into this. He took out his ID and introduced himself as if it were the first time.

"If I were Kira you would be dead Soichiro Yagami."

Combining these two people wouldn't be so difficult. He knew Ryuzaki reminded him of someone.

As they went on, he remembered small details. Light running downstairs because he and Ryuzaki had left their phones there. Ryuzaki also had an infatuation for sugar, and even when his wife made pretty universally loved tea, he'd still add stacks of sugar cubes.

Then there was...

"And from now on, I'll have to ask that you stop calling me 'L.' It's..." L glanced at Soichiro. "Ryuzaki now. Just to be safe."

How cautious was L to give a fake name to L before Kira was even a factor? And if Soichiro didn't know him, would he have used a different alias?

"Excuse me," L said, pulling his phone oddly from his pocket. "Your timing is perfect, I'm nearly done with my meeting. I'll be over shortly."

"I assume you have more puzzles to test me with?"

"Of course I do." Whoever was on the other side laughed softly. A small smile cracked L's face.

"I look forward to it, Ryu."

"So do I."

"See you soon."

L hesitated, but hung up without saying much more like usual.

"My apologies, I try not to keep him waiting."

"Was that Watari?" Matsuda asked.

"No, my boyfriend." He said it so casually, though it shocked everyone.

"You... what?" Aizawa asked.

"He's the only person I've ever met on my level. If it didn't put him in significant danger, I would've brought him in to help." He pushed his lip with his thumb. "Though that's not the only reason," he added in a mumble. He looked as ashamed as L could look.

"How long have you, uh..." Poor Matsuda was thrown extremely off guard.

"I've been queer my whole life if that's what you're asking. Though, I'm sure you're not. I've known him for a few months. He's very attractive." He pulled his hand away from his smile. "I'd tell you his name, but I don't feel comfortable doing so."

Soichiro feared he already knew who it was. Light didn't need to be put in more danger than he already was being his son. He didn't know how to feel about this.

"You'd place surveillance camera's on your own boyfriend?" Soichiro asked. He wouldn't mind placing them on Light, but L always had a certain level of respect for him.

"Of course. I've suspected he was L since before we started a romantic relationship."

This was a shock to everyone. Not only L dating Light, but L potentially dating Kira and knowing it.

"Why?"

"Light is my intellectual equal. Unfortunately that makes it more likely that he's Kira. And the fact that he made the first move only increases that likelihood, though he doesn't know I'm L. If he did, I'd be more sure."

"How sure are you?"

"About 5%. If he knew I was L before he kissed me, it'd be 7 or 8%. Getting close with the enemy is a good way of staying in their good graces and not getting caught, but I'm not going to excuse Light as a suspect just because he makes me happy. That would be ridiculous. And being his boyfriend makes it so I can monitor him outside the house without raising suspicion."

"I might be out of line, but that sounds messed up. Spying on your boyfriend?"

"Well, I don't have to. I can monitor elsewhere while they're at home. I will still be attending my outings with Light and I can't help but monitor him in those moments, though I can assure you we're usually focused on each other; I'm not sure he'd have a moment to kill with me there."

"And Light doesn't know you're L?" Aizawa asked. "Couldn't it be helpful for him to be brought on the case? He's helped on cases before."

"If Light isn't Kira, I don't want him in any danger. I'm sure Soichiro understands my dilemma." His voice was tense as were his hands.

"I do," Soichiro admitted. "I'm find putting cameras around the house. If there's any chance, we may as well check."

"Exactly."

[konigenblobbity]

Request: Out of Line [Miguel]

Miguel O’Hara x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst, yelling, insults, sad reader, crying, cursing

—> [Hobie’s Version]

Request: [Anon] your angst is so UGHHHHH AMAZING. im literally reading every single thing on your masterlist. i need more hobie hurt/comfort or miguel or anyone actually idc who it is i just love your writingggg. maybe like they’ve had a bad day and reader tries to help but instead they get annoyed and say sum ab then being annoying n never shutting up and reader gets quiet after and stuff. although i’ll literally read anything you put out thank you!!!

A/n: More of a repost because I wanted to separate Hobie’s and Miguel’s so :) might even make a part two for this

Miguel entered your apartment, slamming the door behind him as he did. You could hear his heavy footsteps before you even saw him, he was cursing under his breath planning on going straight to your shared bedroom, ignoring your silent figure sat on the couch.

The sound of his footsteps made their way behind you, walking past the couch and you without another word. It was then that your anger turned to rage. He doesn’t spare a single word to you after not showing up to ANOTHER date. It was the same date you’ve rescheduled 2 times before, seeing as he missed those too.

You turned your head and looked over at him, watching as he walked up the steps. That’s when you stood up off the couch and walked over to the base of the staircase. “Took you long enough…” your voice causes him to stop in his tracks, he turns halfway and looks at you. His face was blank, clearly unbothered and indifferent.

“Oh… hi darling, didn’t see you” his voice was calm and smooth. It wasn’t what he sounded like that threw you off… it’s what he didn’t sound like that did. His voice held no remorse or guilt… how could he not feel guilty!? He then pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs “I’m gonna take a shower and go straight to bed. I’ll see you in a bit” he turned to walk back up the stairs.

With that you can’t help but scoff, crossing your arms before speaking. “That’s all?” He stops again and turns, this time making his body fully face you. “What?” He asks, and you picked up on a hint of irritation in his tone. He placed his hands on hips, and when you didn’t clarify immediately he raises his eyebrows and shrugs obnoxiously.

“Miguel I deserve an explanation before you just ‘go straight to bed’. Where were you?” Your tone was stern and you looked at him expectantly, waiting for his apology. He just looked at you as if you had grown two heads. He then let out a chuckle… looking down and shaking his head.

“Sweetheart… I was on a mission. I always told you not to wait up for me didn’t I? You could’ve just gone to bed without me” he looked at you as if it was obvious. Your eyes went wide and you looked at him absolutely speechless. He brushed you off entirely, assuming you felt bad, and spoke again. “It’s alright… i forgive you” and that’s when you broke out of your daze.

“I’m sorry what?!” Your sudden harsh tone shocked Miguel, his hands visibly lifting off his waist for a moment as his brows furrowed. “You let me wait for you for 3 hours in a restaurant, alone, only for you to FINALLY come home and then say that you forgive me?!” you shake your head in disbelief.

You rub at your forehead while letting out a long breath, hoping it would subdue your rage. Miguel finally processed what you said, his eyes widening in realization. The date… oh crap the date! His hands fall from his waist and one goes to run through his hair. “Shit… it completely slipped my mind. I was caught up in an important mission”

He begins to walk down the stairs, his expression a mix of indifference and exhaustion. When he reaches you at the bottom he gives you a smile that barely read as apologetic. “I should have called or texted bu-“ he leans in to kiss your cheek but you immediately step back, looking at him with an awestruck expression.

“No. Miguel. You should’ve been at the restaurant. It was your idea and you promised you’d be there” when you pull away he placed his hands back on his hips before letting out an annoyed huff. “Look I’ll make it up to you. I just got busy” he wasn’t even looking at you, he hadn’t even apologized yet… you felt your blood continue to boil at how little of a shit he seemed to give.

“You always ‘get busy’. This date was supposed to be you making up for the other two dates that you missed because you ‘got busy’…” he picked up on your irritation and immediately made it worse by shrugging. “You know my line of work. Things come up” it’s then that you scoffed, really sick of how he was brushing you off while you were about to explode.

“Miguel. I get that. But then don’t promise me you’ll show up! I’m sick and tired of you making promises you can’t keep!” As you got louder, not dropping the topic, Miguel became even more frustrated… his patience slipping. You watched as his expression shifted to reflect his irritation.

“Fine. I’ll stop making promises… seeing as they only lead to you yelling at me” he mumbled the last part under his breath but you heard it. You physically step back at those words, that’s when his eyes focus on you again, the lack of remorse in his gaze hurting more than his words.

“Why do you have to be such a prick… what you did hurt me Miguel, don’t you get that?! Not only did you forget, but you bailed… AGAIN and then come home and brush me off like I’m nothing” you weren’t yelling, keeping your voice low and rather accentuating the malice behind every word you spoke.

“Well I guess I have bigger problems than hurting your feelings! You ever think of that huh? I don’t have time to care about whatever the hell you’re going through!” The words spilled out of his mouth before he could filter them. As you process his words, your face shifts to shock, fists clenching tightly, waterline glistening as your eyes well up.

The man you’ve known and loved for years… who you thought you would marry, just told you he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. Not only that… he didn’t even hesitate to say it. You step back further, placing a hand on the wall next to you, as if to brace yourself. His demeanor shifting as he saw your bottom lip begin to quiver.

His eyes, having been heartless and cold seconds ago dropped into a look of guilt. His whole expression fell… his brows furrowing and lips parting as he too realized what he just said. He watched as you placed a hand over your mouth as your tears began to fall, softly beginning to sob into the palm of your hand.

“Shit… sweetheart I didn’t mean that.” He tried to approach you, arms raised so he could hold you. His heart pained as he watched how you continued to step back, slipping away from him. “D-don’t…” your voice was breaking, shaky with your heavy breathing before soft sobs began to rack your body. It’s then that you walk forward, past him as you begin to walk up the stairs.

He tries to reach for your arm but you manage to dodge his hand and rush the rest of the way upstairs. His footsteps can be heard behind you as you hurry your way to your shared bedroom. He continues to try and plead with you as he follows behind “Darling please… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Please just let me explain” you ignore him entirely.

Once inside the bedroom you grab a pillow from the bed and hurriedly grab a spare blanket from the closet. You walk to the doorway of the bedroom where Miguel stands. Harshly you shove the pillow and blanket against his chest, causing him to stumble back a little at the strength your anger gave you.

“You can sleep on the couch. You get your wish, you can go straight to bed” somehow you found the strength to look him in the eyes. Yours were glossed over with tears and the only thing he could find in them was agony, his eyes began to well up at the sight of you so upset… especially since he knew it was his fault.

“Sweetheart please… let’s talk about this” he drops the pillow and blanket and reaches an arm forward, softly circling it around your forearm. You forcibly pull it back, wincing as you feel the claws of his suit scratch at your skin. Glancing down you notice the claw mark and how you began bleeding… Miguel noticed too.

“Shit you’re bleeding!” He goes to react immediately, trying to step towards you but you just push him away again, with both hands this time. “No! Stop it!” You yell and he’s frozen in place, eyes glancing between your bleeding arm and burning eyes. Your breathing was heavy, he saw it in how your chest frantically rose and fell.

“But you’re in pain!” He tries to reason but you just scoff. An grin crosses your face, it immediately unnerved him… it was made worse when you chuckled softly. “What do you care… like you said, you’ve got bigger problems” with that you slam the door in his face. He could hear your footsteps retreat into the bathroom.

He stepped up to the door and leaned his forehead against it… he could hear your sobs through the wood. They were frantic and distraught, he heard how your breathing was split as you tried to gasp for air. Your whole body overwhelmed with this feeling of misery and pain. If Miguel wanted to he could open the door and walk in, but he didn’t dare… too afraid of hurting his chances for forgiveness by doing so.

Miguel began to cry silently, when the first tear broke away dozens more followed. Burning a hot trail down his cheeks. He stayed at the door for a while, whispering softly as if you could hear him. “Please… sweetheart I’m sorry” his voice was pleading… begging for you to be the one to open the door.

Even if it was to hit him or cuss him out… He just wanted an opportunity to drop to his knees and apologize, tell you just how sorry he was for hurting you like this. After your sobs fell silent he called out for you. “Darling? Please… I know I messed up” he was met with silence but he knew you were awake… he knew you were curled up in bed hugging your pillow tightly.

“I didn’t mean it… I swear. I should have never said it and I should have been there tonight.” Once again you say nothing, he does however hear the soft rustle of the bedsheets. He let out a long breath and spoke again “We’ll talk about this in the morning… alright? I’m so goddamn sorry sweetheart” his voice was raspy and trembling slightly, his breathing uneven and broken.

“Good night… I love you” that was his last attempt and like all the others… he got no response. Slowly, he leaned away from the door, wiping his tear stained cheeks with the back of his hand.

As he did that, he noticed the slight blood that glistened on the claws of his suit. He grabbed the blanket and hurriedly wiped his claw clean with the edge of it, hating the sight of it on his hands. His stomach turned at the fact that it was your blood… practically a physical symbol of how he hurt you.

He then grabbed the pillow you gave him… his wounded heart warmed slightly at the fact that, no matter how angry you were, you still gave him a pillow and blanket to sleep with. He was about to head down to the couch to sleep but stopped, instead dropping down onto the floor and leaning against the wall of your bedroom.

He took a moment to close his eyes and steady his breathing. He then grabbed the pillow and placed it on the floor, lying down and pulling the blanket over his body. As his head hit the pillow his heart skipped a beat… in your anger you accidentally gave him your pillow. He was so glad that you did.

It smelled like you and Miguel couldn’t help how he immediately embraced it into his arms and nuzzled his face into it. Taking a deep inhale as his body melted at the familiar scent that he loved so dearly.

He slept outside that door the whole night, holding your pillow close to his chest, eyes not closing once as he thought of what he could say or do to make it up to you.

[graciegoeskrazy]

i’ve got a woman now

pairings: Matty Healy x Teen!Daughter!reader (ft. The 1975)

a/n: GUYS. i really like this one lol. im so sorry to the wonderful anon who requested this! it took forever to complete because i loved it so much and kept adding and shit. but here it is and i hope u enjoy!

warnings: blood, periods, giving ‘the talk’, talk of absent mother, matty is the best dad, lil bit of panicking, a lil crying

Your life quite literally flashed before your eyes when a line of blood started running down your legs. You ran to the bathroom and sat down as quickly as possible. Your bottoms were coated with blood. You were immensely scared and did the first thing that came to your mind - calling out to the person you trusted most.

“Dad!”

Matty sat up and ran upstairs as soon as he heard you shout, never hesitating. He heard the panic cries coming from the bathroom. When he walked in he saw you sitting in the loo with a towel covering yourself. He kneeled in front of you.

“Woah, woah. Hey.”

You were scared shitless. Matty could tell by your panicked breathing.

“Breathe, baby.”

He led you through some exercises and after a moment he calmed down. “Is it under there?”

You frantically nodded.

“Good. Now let me see.”

He was pretty sure he knew what was happening but needed to make sure. “What happened?” He asked.

“I don’t know! You just sat down and I was peeing- and there was blood everywhere!”

“Okay, Okay, breathe darling.” His worst fear was confirmed. “It’s gonna be okay-”

“Daddy, what’s happening?”

He grabbed your shoulders and looked you right in the eyes with a smile. “You got your period, love.”

“Huh?” His casual tone threw you off.

“I’ll be right back.” After a moment or two Matty came back with a pair of underwear with a pad already attached, new shorts, and another roll of toilet paper. “Ok. You’re gonna clean yourself up, put this on, change your bottoms, and come meet me in my room. Okay?”

You nodded but continued crying. He kneeled again. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, love! Of course not! Why would you be?”

You sniffled. “I made a mess and stuff,”

“No, you didn’t, love. This is all normal-”

“What do you mean normal?! Dad, I’m scared.”

“Just change, then come find me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

You were so fucking confused

—---------

Although Matty tried to stay calm for the sake of his kid, on the inside he was a panicking mess. So, he called the person who usually always knows the right thing to say, and usually ends up fixing his problems. Your uncle Adam.

He mentioned that he, his wife Carly, your uncle George, and uncle Ross were all going out to lunch for the day, and would be back at the house you and all of them shared after. He facetimed him and he thankfully answered immediately.

“We’ve got a serious fucking problem.”

“What’s happened?” Adam asked.

“Y/n got her period.”

Everyone at the table went silent.

“So…?”

“She got her period mate. I have to fucking give her the TALK now!”

He could hear the others laughing in the background. Adam just smiled a bit. “You’ve never given her the talk?”

“No! I raised her alone! I’ve been trying to avoid that topic for as long as possible!” Your father was freaking out.

George spoke up from the back. “Did she even know what a period is?”

“I don’t think so. She called me to the bathroom- I think she thought she was gonna die.”

“Oh my god,” Ross said laughing.

“Does she need supplies?” Carley said, taking the phone.

“No, I had some stashed since 2 years ago for when this happened.”

“Awe! He cares!” She said, teasingly.

“Give Hann the phone back.” He replied with a blank face.

One Hann’s face was on the screen again, he continued. “Mate, What the fuck do I do?”

“First, you’re going to chill the fuck out.”

Matty took a breath. “Get her relaxed, it’ll do you both no good if she’s an anxious mess which I know she is.”

“Yeah.”

“Then you are going to simply explain that what happened is called a period. And because she got a period, she is now capable of making babies. But she cannot and will not make a baby until she is at least 30. She will bleed down there every month, and stick some cotton in her underwear to help. she might get terrible mood swings or cramps, or like her auntie Carly, she will want to stab her significant other's eyes out,”

“Hey!” Carly yelled.

“But it will all be fine, because her dad is here to help, and will be there every step of the way.”

“That was pretty good,” Ross said.

“Thanks!”

“I can’t believe my baby girl is becoming a woman,” Matty said.

“It was inevitable mate,” Adam said.

“I’ve been dreading this exact moment since I found out she didn’t have a penis.”

“You're a good dad, mate. Go.”

Your dad smiled a little bit before saying, “I’ll see you later.”

Carly chimed in before Adam had the chance to hang up. “Remind her that she now has an excuse to stay out of P.E!”

—

Your dad was lying in bed, scrolling on his phone after sending a text to George that read ‘pray for me’, when he heard the door creak open slightly. “Hop In,” he said, pulling back the covers.

“I can’t.” You shyly looked down, basically caving in on yourself.

“Why?” He asked.

“I’m gonna mess up the sheets again.” You slowly looked up to him.

“If you do then we’ll wash them. It’s not a big deal, c’mon.” he patted the spot next to him. You walked over to the bed and snuggled under the covers, immediately hiding in your dad’s chest. He ran his fingers through your hair for a moment, thinking about how to start the conversation. However, you did it for him. “Am I dying?”

He chuckled. “No. You’re not dying.”

You mumbled in his shirt. “So what’s happening then?”

He sighed. Here we go, “When girls get older…and start becoming women…they get their period every month-”

“Every month?! I’m gonna bleed out of my but every month?” You said sitting up.

“It’s not out of your but, it’s out of your vagina-”

“Doesn’t matter! I’m gonna have blood coming out of me every month?!”

He looked at you with a tight lip before replying. “...Yes.”

You showed a look of confusion. “Why?”

“Now, time for the fun part.”

Your brows furrowed. “What fun part?”

“The part where I tell you how babies are made-”

“NO. NOPE! I’M GOOD. No need for that.”

“So you’re telling me you didn’t know what a period was but you know everything about having sex.”

“I don’t know everything about sex, and I don’t wanna know everything about sex!”

“You have to, love.”

“I just learned im gonna lose gallons of blood every month out of my butt and you're telling me you wanna have the freaking birds and the bees talk NOW?”

“It’s not gallons…I think. And, it’s all connected, y/n. You need to have a period to get pregnant.”

“I can get pregnant?!?!?!”

“...technically, yes.”

“Oh my god, my life is over.”

“Your life is not over. We’re gonna have this conversation, I’m gonna answer all questions you have, and then you will continue living your life.”

You were silent. Staring at your hands.

“If you don’t hear it from me, your father who loves you, you’re gonna hear it from stupid kids around you who either tell you false information or try and get in your pants.” After a moment, you answered.

I can’t believe this.”

“Well…you’re aunt Carly says you can use it as an excuse to get out of gym!”

Your eyes widened. “You told Aunt Carly?!”

“Yeah…I called Adam and the boys and she answered.”

You sat up. “THE BOYS KNOW?!?!”

“Relax, love. It will all be okay.” He patted your knee and you fell back down, hiding your face in the pillows.

“Everyone’s gonna look at me differently now.” Your sound was muffled by the pillows.

“Honey, that’s already happened.” You didn't move. Your dad readjusted to fave you and your hidden state.

“Do you know how many times you’ve made your Uncle George cry simply because you’re growing up? And I think Ross had a panic attack when he found out you started wearing real bras.”

“Dad…” You said looking up

“The point is, you have people in every corner who want nothing more than to support you because to them you’ll always be our baby girl.”

—

After about an hour, a couple of Google searches, and a phone call to Carly and Charli to get a second and third confirmation that there are indeed 3 holes, you and your dad had covered everything. Yet, some dots still weren’t connecting.

“Why do some babies get put up for adoption? People still have sex even if they don’t want to have a baby?”

Matty could get over your confused face it was adorable.

“Yeah, sure. People use condoms or there are pills women take. It’s different for everyone.”

He could still see the wheels turning in your mind and continued. “They don’t always work though. Your mom was on the pill when we were together, but she still got pregnant.”

Your mother.

For a while now you had been perfectly content with the fact your mother wasn’t in your life. Your dad always said your family was perfect the way it is, but all these discoveries had you questioning your existence a little bit. Some of those dots started connecting in your head, and that confused expression turned to fear.

“You guys didn't mean to have me?”

Marty’s heart shattered. How in the world was he supposed to deal with this one? There isn’t exactly a guidebook on telling your pre-teen daughter about sex when you’re a single dad to a baby who has never had a mother in her life and was raised around nothing but dirty disgusting men who are also in a band that leads her to have a not so normal life?

“Not technically…no?” He said.

You nodded and looked down- finally understanding. “Is that why she left?”

Oh shit. Now THIS was the talk Matty wanted to avoid even MORE than the birds and the bees. He knew it needed to happen eventually and now seemed good enough.

“Your mother left for a multitude of reasons, but newborn you was not one of them.”

“Then why did she leave?” You asked.

“It’s…complicated.”

You rolled your eyes. “You always say that-”

“Because it is, y/n.”

You looked up at your father. He had a look of pity written all over his face. He sighed and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer.

“The truth is, you were unexpected. You were a surprise to everyone. And your mother wasn’t ready for such a big wonderful surprise.”

“So she bounced.”

“Yep.” He replied, popping the ‘p’

“But you stayed.” You replied smiling at him.

“I did.”

“Thanks for not putting me up for adoption.” You said, leaning into him.

“Thanks for being a great kid.”

“Thanks for playing mom and dad.”

He kissed the top of your head before replying with, “My pleasure.”

[avatar-anna]

The Only Exception

summary: Y/n tries to write her wedding vows

words: 2.6k

“What are you working on over there?”

“Me? Oh nothing,” Y/n said, quickly covering up the journal she’d been writing in.

Not believing her for a second, Harry came closer to where she was laying on their bed in one of his threadbare sweaters and a pair of sweatpants with a hole in them. “You sure, love?”

The truth was she was working on her wedding vows. Y/n had never been one for public speeches or grand declarations of love, but at some point during the wedding planning process, Harry expressed how much he wanted to do personal vows instead of traditional ones. He didn’t beg or plead, but he didn’t have to. Y/n would do just about anything for Harry, so despite her fears, she said yes.

Now she and Harry were a week away from the wedding, and she had yet to write down a single word. Not because she didn’t love him, it was quite the opposite, actually. Y/n loved him so much she couldn’t find the right words to describe her feelings. He was the first person to really make her believe that love existed. Harry pretty much did the impossible. He took the barbed wire around your heart and didn’t let up until it was healed.

“Yep. Nothing to see here,” Y/n insisted. She didn’t need him knowing that she was failing at writing their wedding vows. Or worse, Harry was so sweet, he would probably help her write them.

“Well then. Permission to board? I am in need of a good snuggle.”

A snort escaped past Y/n’s nose as she laughed. “Why do you talk like that, you dork?” she asked, but she knew why.

Harry had a penchant for knowing when she was stressed and often tried to cheer her up by making her laugh. Instead of answering her, he waited for her answer.

Rolling her eyes, Y/n said, “Permission granted.”

Harry was quick to get on the bed with his fiance, immediately cuddling into her. Before nuzzling his nose against her neck, he peeked at the journal she’d been writing in. He smiled to himself as he read “Wedding Vows” in big letters at the top. It was blank, but Harry wasn’t worried. Y/n was a bigger romantic than she gave herself credit for.

“You’re gonna be my wife in just seven days, can you believe that?” he asked, voice muffled against her skin. Y/n was warm and smelled like lavender and sandalwood, a scent that charmed him the very first day they met.

“Not too late to back out, you know,” Y/n joked.

“Don’t say that,” Harry said, frowning at her.

“I was only kidding, H.”

“Mm. It was a bad joke.”

Y/n could be a bit of a pessimist when it came to love and relationships. It took her a long time to fall in love with Harry, and it took even longer to admit it to Harry and herself. Together they let down a lot of her walls, but she still liked to hide how she felt about things by joking about them.

Sighing, she tentatively began to play with the rings on Harry’s hands. “I’m sorry, you know how I get.”

“I do,” he said. “Care to tell me what's on your mind?”

Y/n sighed. “I…It’s not that I don’t think you love me, or that you’ll ever stop. You know I don't believe that. I just don’t want to end up like my parents.”

“We won’t.”

Harry said it like it was that simple, like nothing could ever possibly come between the two of them. He believed in their love for each other wholeheartedly, and despite her previous misconceptions and beliefs about love, Harry helped her believe in it too.

“I know, I’m sorry. This must be like the opposite of reassuring a week before our wedding,” she said.

Y/n wasn’t facing him, but she could tell Harry was smiling against her neck before he gave her a tiny kiss. “Not at all. I’m surprised I haven’t had to talk you off the proverbial ledge sooner.”

“Rude…but fair,” was all she said.

Turning around, Y/n faced her fiance. She took in the familiar planes of his face, his pointed nose and high cheek bones, his pink lips, his expressive eyes. How she managed to make a literal angel fall in love with her, she wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t about to complain. Y/n leaned her forehead against Harry’s, reveling in the feel of being close to someone, of being in love with someone.

“I love you. My first and only,” she said.

Harry grinned from the sheer openness with which Y/n spoke. Hearing those words shot a line of fireworks down his spine. She used to be so prickly and cynical about love, and he often felt proud (and maybe even a little smug) that he was the one to change her mind.

He leaned in to kiss her, then, holding her cheek gently in his hand. Y/n responded instantly. Her arms curled around his neck, her finger winding around the soft strands of his hair.

One of the first things she learned about Harry was that he had different kinds of kisses. There were the little ones. The tiny pecks that were reserved for places like her shoulders, her nose, her temples, and her hip bones. He’d give her those kisses if they were just hanging out with friends or on the couch watching TV; they were casual, loving kisses.

Then there were the sloppy kisses he’d smother Y/n with if he wanted something or just wanted to make her laugh; and the frenzied passionate ones when he pushed her up against a wall or pin her arms above her head before he had his way with her.

And then there were the slow kisses, the ones that told her he didn’t want to be anywhere else other than right there with her. He was so gentle, so deliberate, with each movement it made her toes curl. No feeling was more euphoric or reassuring than when Harry kissed her like this. She never wanted that feeling to ever go away.

Later that night Harry was fast asleep. Y/n was sitting up against the headboard of their bed, the lamp on her bedside table casting a warm glow over the journal in her lap.

“When I was younger, I had to watch my parents’ marriage fall apart. I watched them break each other’s hearts and swear off love, and from that moment on I swore I would never end up like them. I swore off love, if love even existed,” she wrote, her hand occasionally running through her fiance’s hair. “And I was content to live in loneliness, content to keep a comfortable distance between me and the rest of the world…”

“And then I met you,” she said, tearing up a little. She laughed, slightly embarrassed to be crying in front of a room filled with her and Harry’s closest friends and family. Her hands gripped the two sheets of paper that had her vows written on them. She went back and forth between looking at her vows and looking into Harry’s eyes. They’d been lined with tears since Y/n walked down the aisle, and while she had been able to hold it together for most of the ceremony, she was starting to lose her composure.

“Um…And—And even though I’d convinced myself that I was happy being alone, you showed me more love than I’d ever experienced and made me believe that I could love someone that much too. You proved to me that love wasn’t some dream or fantasy that only existed in a fictional world. No, you, H, you continued to shower me with so much love and affection until I had no choice but to believe in it and fall in love with you.

“I wasn’t an easy person to love back then, I know that,” Y/n said, trying to add a little humor to her voice. Harry saw right through it though and shook his head, mouthing the words, that's not true.

“I was skeptical, I was cold, and I rejected the mere idea of love at every corner. But you saw something in me that was worth loving, that was worth fighting for, and despite my cynicism and lack of belief, you—you patiently waited for me to realize that love wasn’t something to curse at or hate or run away from, but something to embrace and cherish. And I embraced you, Harry, and I never want to let go. I promise you that I will never let go.”

With a shaking hand, Y/n wiped her cheek. She didn’t dare look over at everyone who was watching her say her vows, but the room was so quiet that the only sounds that could be heard were her shaky breaths and the occasional sniffle.

Harry leaned over and kissed her forehead, an offering of comfort and a silent message to take her time until she was ready to continue. He knew how nervous Y/n had been to give this speech, so he gave her what little comfort he could as they stood together with the officiant. When she finally caught her breath, she continued.

“I don’t know what the future will hold, or what my life will look like next year, or in five years, or in fifty, but one thing I can promise is that I will never stop loving you. I will never curse at the wind or run away from you, ever.”

“What are we doing here, Y/n?”

“I—I don’t—”

“I want to be with you. I want to grow old with you, have kids, all of that. I don’t want that life with anyone else, I’m not in love with anyone else. I’m in love with you, and I’m not ashamed of that!”

Harry’s cheeks were red, and he looked angrier than Y/n had ever seen him before. The truth was she was in love with him too, but she couldn’t admit it. The idea of sharing herself so completely as to be in love with them petrified her. Her feelings were unfamiliar and terrified her to no end, and her first instinct was to run, to leave before that love fizzled out or blew away with the wind. It always did.

“I’m sorry, Harry, but I don’t feel the same way.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” he said.

He surged forward to hold her hand in his own. He was so close that Y/n had no choice but to look him in the eye.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not in love with me.”

“Harry, please let go of me, I can’t—”

Despite being upset, he wasn’t going to hold Y/n against her will. Harry dropped her hands unceremoniously and turned away from her, and that was the first time Y/n had ever truly felt her heart break.

“You can, but you won’t,” Harry said, his voice devoid of any emotion. Still not looking at you he said with a shaky breath, “I want you to love me the way I love you, but I can’t force you to. I thought if I showed you what real love looked like, you would believe me, but I—I realize now that that was foolish of me. I shouldn’t try to change you, and for that I’m sorry.”

“Harry—”

“You can run. I know you want to. Just know that my love for you is real, and that I don’t think I’ll ever stop being in love with you.”

Y/n couldn’t stop the tears from running down her face, but she did exactly as Harry said. Without a single word other than, “I’m sorry,” she took her keys and left his house.

She didn’t know where to go. Not home, Harry’s things were everywhere there. So she drove aimlessly, sobs wracking her body every now and again.

Y/n didn’t want to be in love, didn’t believe in being in love. She told Harry that one of the first times they met. And yet he somehow broke down every barrier, every wall she had ever put up around her heart, and that was the single most terrifying thing she would ever feel—her heart stripped bare, unguarded for Harry to do with as he pleased.

As she drove, her heart cried out for one person, the only person she knew could make all of this pain go away, if she only let him. Falling in love was something Y/n vowed she would never do, yet somehow she fell in love with Harry, the first and only person she’d ever been in love with.

In a split-second decision, Y/n turned the car around. She raced back to Harry’s place, back to him. She hoped that she didn’t make irrevocable damage, but wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

Letting herself in with her keys, she let herself into a dark house. Y/n checked a couple rooms before going to his bedroom. He was lying on the bed facing away from her, but she couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.

Hesitantly, she took off her shoes and her jacket and walked over to him. Harry’d eyes were closed, but she opened up the covers and slid into bed with him anyway. And when he immediately wrapped his arms around her, something in her settled, the last piece of a puzzle falling into place.

“I love you,” she whispered. “And I’m so scared.”

“I know.” Harry’s voice wasn’t deep or scratchy the way it was after he’d been sleeping for a while, so he clearly has been awake when Y/n came in.

He didn’t really have to say anything else. He knew why she was so skittish around love, why she didn’t want anything to do with it. He loved her anyway, and was willing to wait as long as it took for her to comfortably say she loved him back.

“I’m sorry for running away from you and for saying I didn’t love you earlier.”

“But you came back,” he said softly. “Why?”

“Because…” Why did she come back? She had a hard time putting it into words. “Because you make me want to be in love, even though it terrifies me.”

Y/n finally turned in Harry’s arms so that she was facing him. It was too dark to make our any of his features, but she didn’t need any light to know what he looked like. His face had been scarred onto her heart so that she could never forget it.

“I can’t promise that I’ll be easy to love or that I’ll deserve it,” she said.

“Hey, hey. None of that,” Harry chided. “You deserve all of my love. Every last bit of it. Just—No more running, okay?”

“I promise to love you forever, Harry. Even on my darkest days, because you made me believe that love was something worth having in my life. So you are my love, my life, my heart and soul. My first and only.”

She’d said the last sentence directly to him, the rest of their audience falling away so it was just the two of them. A tear escaped and trickled down Harry’s cheek, and Y/n was quick to wipe it away with her thumb. He smiled against her hand and kissed it before he was instructed to say his vows.

“How on earth am I supposed to follow that up?” he muttered to himself, though with the microphone he was holding to say his vows, everyone heard him and laughed.

Taking a deep breath, Harry looked at Y/n and smiled. His green eyes were watery, but they were filled with so much joy it gave Y/n butterflies. He truly was her one and only, and by some miracle, she was his. Harry made her believe in love, and she couldn’t be happier because of him.

[fluffypandabun]

HELLO PANDA!! I'm not kidding at all when I say your rottmnt fics have infected my brain in the best way possible,

I literally think your rottmnt tkl fics might be the best ones I've ever read out of all the ones on here I'm SO serious, I ADORE your ones with leo and casey!!

SO. I saw requests were SEMI open, so if you'd like to, I'd love to see another fic with lee or switch casey, and ler leo!!:3 I just LOVE the way you write their dynamic!! The story is all up to you, but I'd love more fics to rot the rest of my brainz/pos 💥

AN: Hiiiiiiii JAMIE!!!!! Thank you sm for your kind words they mean so much and are actually what motivated me to come back when i received this ask during my hiatus! This fic took forever im sorry but I hope you enjoy it!!

Bad Spot

When Casey was younger one of his favorite things was an old tattered copy of a book, half its pages were falling out and parts of it were so water damaged you couldn’t make out the words, but regardless Casey loved it anyways. Always begging one of his uncles or aunt to read it to him, filling in the blanks the missing pages left with his own imagination. 

He’d lost the book when part of their base caught fire, his precious book burnt to a crisp in the flames. Casey had cried for days, selfish of him maybe as others had loss far more in that fire, but he had been a young child with very few things to call his own living in a world that took far more then it gave, he was allowed to be a little selfish. 

Overtime he’d forgotten about the book, things of more importance taking the top spot in his mind, however just a few days ago during one of his surface trips with the turtles, a familiar red book cover caught his eye. 

It was a far cry from his beat up and damaged copy, its cover and pages pristine and untouched like many of the things in the past seemed to be, but as he ran his fingers over the covers it felt as familiar as his own. 

He had bounded up to Raph, the eldest trying to coax Mikey down from the top of a fountain, eyes a glow as he talked faster then the turtle could keep up, eventually getting what the human meant as he glanced down to the book in his hand, a fond bemusement in his eyes as he spoke;

“Oh you want that book? Sure thing little man…But wouldn’t you rather have the first book of the series instead of the third?” 

And with his mouth agape, Casey looked up at the larger turtle like he’d just told him that he’d won the lottery. 

“There's more then ONE!?” 

So that's where Casey found himself now, already through with the first book of the series and nearly half-way through the second. Sitting cross-legged on the couch with the book spread open on his lap, the lair was quiet aside from the muffled sound of metal on metal coming from Donnie's lab and Raphs rumbling snores from where he napped across the lair in his bedroom. 

Casey was thankful for the quiet, don’t get him wrong he enjoyed how lived in the lair could sound at times, but as much as he loved the turtles noisiness sometimes it could be a bit much for someone who grew in a dead silent world where making the wrong sound at the wrong time could lead to your whole squad getting killed. 

So the teen chose to enjoy the silence while it lasted, which of course meant it didn’t last for much longer. 

“Woooow Case, already finished with the first book? And i thought the lair was only big enough for ONE nerd.” 

Casey let out a long sigh, silence now thoroughly shattered he lowered his book back down to his lap and looked over to his right. 

Leo was there, leant against the doorway of the living room part of the lair; eyes half lidded and a lazy grin that spelled mischief splayed across his muzzle. 

“Hello Leo”. 

The turtles grin only got wider at Caseys already “done with your shit” tone. Pushing himself off the couch he casually sauntered over as if he owned the place, which technically, he partially did. 

“So,” he began, making his way over to stand at the back of the couch, arms resting far apart on it as he leant forward towards Caseys personal space.

“Hows the reading going?” 

Casey rolled his eyes, giving Leos face a playful push away “Did you have to pick me to mess with today Leo? Im trying to read.” 

The turtle let out of a scoff, leaning back into Caseys space. “Whaaaaat? Me? Mess with you? Psh!”

The turtle let out a dramatic noise of offense, putting a hand over his chest. The dramatics drew a slight giggle out of Casey, which only seemed the fuel the turtle more.

“IIIIII came out here to spend some time with one of my favorite humans, the other being April of course, but if I’m not wanted then I shall go. Good day sir!” 

The turtle turned on his heel to leave when Casey felt a tug in his chest. 

“Wait!” 

Leo paused immediately, turning and facing Casey with a bemused expression at his tone of voice, Casey felt his ears go red at his own overreaction and he cleared his throat. 

“Uh well, you can stay you don’t have to leave. I wouldn't mind the company” 

Leo stared at him for a bit before his gaze softened to show he was being serious. “Well of course, who wouldn’t want my company?l”

The turtle sauntered back over and resumed his position leant over the back of the couch so he could read over Caseys shoulder. The human gave him a smile before he turned and went back to his reading. 

For a good moment it was quiet, a peaceful sort of silence between the two of them, Casey thought it was nice. After a moment longer he even began to relax, eyes half lidded and more so lazily skimming the pages then reading in depth like he'd been doing before.

He was close to drifting off when suddenly he felt a gentle breath of air hit the back of his neck, sending a ticklish shock all the way down his spine causing him to hunch his shoulders and squeak.

With a glare he whipped around to look at the accomplice, but Leo just gave him a lazy half grin, head resting on his arms.

"Sorry Case, my bad" He hummed, not sounding sorry at all.

The teen started at him for a second later before he shook his head with a huff, cheeks flushed, and turned back to reading. He figured he'd give the turtle the benefit of the doubt in that it had been just an accident.

This of course was a stupid idea, for not even two seconds later he felt another breath of air on his neck, this time it cause him to giggle lightly.

"Leheo!" He hissed, whipping around to face the laughing turtle.

"Whahaht? Im not even touching you!"

"You know what your doing! Now quit it!"

"Quit what? Quit doing this?" quick as a flash the turtle leaned forward to bury his face in the side of Casey's neck, blowing a quick raspberry and causing Casey to Shriek.

"LEHEO!"

Pulling away the turtle bust into laughter, shaking his head "God Cass you are so funny."

Face now fully red the human scowled, shoulders now hiked all the way up to his ears. "Why do you guys always have to do that" he whined.

Leo just grinned at him, wiggling his fingers "That's what happens when everybody knows your bad spot~" he crooned, cackling when Casey's face went even redder

It was no secret to the rest of the Hamato clan that Casey's neck and ears were deathly ticklish, by far his worst spot; something everyone (especially Leo) loved to tease him about.

It had been just the same back in the future, with his sensei and uncles and aunt all teasing him with raspberries and scribbles under the chin. Leonardo had been the worst about it back then too, so much so that Master Michelangelo had taught him how to get the turtle back and-

Wait......

Casey couldn't stop the wide grin that spread across his lips, because he had just remembered something very important about Leonardo, and in this case, Leo as well.

Said turtle noticed his change of expression and wiped the mirth from his eyes, cocking his head to the side "Whats got you smiling like that?"

Caseys grin simply widened. "Oh nothing, just remembered something is all."

Leo gave him a weird look. "Remembered what?"

"Oh just.....this!"

With that Casey lunged forward, grabbing onto Leos shoulders and flipping him straight over the couch and into his lap, the two of them wrestled for a moment, laughing, but while Leo had strength Casey had surprise and very key knowledge he had just remembered. So he wasted no time in lunging forward and digging his fingers into the backs of Leos legs.

Immediately the turtle let out a screamed that descended into wild laughter, practically flopping over and thrashing back and forth as he kicked out his leg.

"NYAHAHAHAH! CASEHEHEY!"

Said teenage human let out a giggle, trapping Leos leg under his knees so he could better poke and prod at the turtles muscled thighs.

"Hehe Yeah Leo?"

Leo practically squealed, drawing more peels of laughter from Casey. His arms flailed about as if unsure of what to do with themselves, Casey having to dodge a few swaps at himself.

"C-CasEY I-Iihihihihim goohohohona g-get you for thihhIHIHIHIIS-"

The turtles threat was caught off when Casey began to scribble his fingers into the hollows of the back of his knees, head thrown back and mouth opened in a wide genuine smile Leo howled with laughter.

His body shook with the force of it, his shoulders jumping as he hiccuped and at one point even snorted, which caused Casey to laugh himself at the silly noise.

"Man Leo, must suck having someone know about your weak spot huh~" Casey teased, squeezing gently at the turtles kneecaps.

"C-Cass Pleashehehese!" Leo hiccuped in between his squeaks and squeals of laughter, giggling to himself the teen finally decided to show mercy.

"Okay Okay Ill stop." He chuckled, pulling his hands away and sliding off the couch. He sat on his knees and watched the turtle flop over onto his back on the couch, arm thrown over his face like a fainted Victorian women as he groaned.

He sluggishly turned his head to face Casey and, with weak movements like he was dying, flipped him off.

It caught the human so off guard that he burst into laughter, prompting Leo to glare at him with a smirk barely tugging at his lips.

"Y-You think that's funny? Oh ill show you funny-Come here!"

Before Casey could even begin an apology Leo had lunged forward and grabbed him, immediately burying his face into Casey's neck and blowing a massive raspberry.

Casey screeched before he burst into loud happy laughter, hair getting even messier by the second as he shook his head back and forth to try and get away from the ticklish feeling.

"NOHOHOHO LEHEHEO!"

The turtle said nothing, simply lowering his hands down to Casey's sides and rapidly squeezing up and down.

Ah, so Leo was trying to kill him.

"L-LeheheOHOHOHO! Im Im sorheheheheHEHEHEEEEEE!"

"Tell it to the judge Mister!" Leo grinned, pulling away to blow a quick playful raspberry against Caseys' cheek.

"LEHEHEHEHO!"

"Sorry, I cant hear you over how loud your laughing~"

Casey ended up not get much reading done, his book laying abandoned on the floor, but that was okay. He have plenty of time to read in the future.

Plenty of time.

[softlymaximoff]

Her Howl

18+ ONLY MEN & MINORS DNI (blank blogs will be blocked you do not have my permission to republish my work onto any platform.

— A/N: moya lyubov (my love), shchenok (pup/puppy), malen'kiy (little one)

— Summary: While your mate is on a mission, your heat hits you way harder than expected and all you can do is whine and burrow yourself further in your nest. Not even Yelena can convince you to come out and look after yourself when Natty is away.

— Characters: Alpha!Nat x Alpha!Wanda (platonic), Beta!Yelena x Omega!Fem Reader (platonic), Alpha!Nat x Omega!Fem Reader (Pairing)

— Warnings: a little angsty, fluff, missing nat hours, nesting, avoidance of self care.

— Word Count: 1.6k

"No Wanda I'm not going!" Natasha growled out as Wanda briefed her on a mission coming up in two days. You were curled up in your shared room already fast asleep while Nat worked on overdue mission reports. "Tasha, we really need you on this mission. Yelena will be at the compound and you know how protective she is of her. Trust me, Y/n will be okay" Wanda spoke up quietly. She knew under all this anger was fear. She could quite literally feel the hormone battle between fight of flight going on in her teammate’s body.

"How do you know that Wanda! Her heat is supposed to hit when I’m the furthest out on the mission!" the spy snarled and Wanda bared her own teeth. "Don't get snappy at me, just because you're a mated Alpha doesn't mean my status to you changes, I'm an Alpha too, mated or not" Wanda warned and Nat grumbled before harnessing he emotions and simmering down a little.

"I can't do it, I can't leave her" she sighed and hunched down in her office chair, finally letting her guard down. "I promise on Pietro that she'll be okay, you trust your sister more than anyone and if Yelena was on this mission I'd let you sit it out" Wanda reassured her as best as she could but she understood. She had seen enough Alphas go on missions without their mate and it made her somewhat relieved to not have found hers yet.

"Can we train, I wanna get my mind off it until I have to say goodbye" Nat mumbled and Wanda nodded, dragging her best friend out of her office and towards the training rooms. The pair went on for hours, practicing both strengths and weaknesses to the point of exhaustion. It was only when Natasha took a right hook to the face did they stop and take a breath, realising just how high the tension was and how much Alpha hormones were floating around in the room.

><><><><

The glimmer of sunrise filtered through the opening in the curtains and Natasha groaned as you smushed your face closer into her neck, smelling her sweet scent and kissing her gently just under her ear. "Baby hey, none of that" she sighed back tears as she pulled you out slightly and moved you to lay on top of her instead.

“Don’ leave” you whispered sleepily and tightened your grip on her. She closed her eyes and just took in the moment. Her mission was two weeks long and knowing she was leaving you just as your heat was supposed to start was killing her. “I have to milaya, they really need me on this one” she kissed your temple and you let out a whine.

“More than I need you?” you looked up at her and pouted, pursing your lips further when she pouted back and nodded. “Unfortunately yes, I’m so sorry shchenok, I really am” she unwillingly peeled your ever so slightly heating body off hers and stretched her limbs out. Arms going overhead and shirt rising above her midsection, you couldn’t help but stare a little. God she was perfect.

"I can feel you staring moya lyubov" she snickered when she caught your eyes as they darted down. "I'm gonna miss you. It's gonna be hell Natty" you tried to plead again but she wasn't having any of it. "I know you are but I'm leaving you with my best girl and she's gonna make sure you'll take care of yourself okay?" your mate gave you a pointed look as she grabbed your chin gently, ensuring eye contact was made as she did so.

With a huff, you shrugged your face out of her hold and pouted. "Don't be away too long" were your final words as she kissed your lips gently and slipped out of bed, preparing her bags for the mission. As cold as the morning was, you followed her around the room like a shadow, needing to feel as much of her warmth and heartbeat before she was gone. "Not that one" you growled slightly and ripped the jumper out of Natasha's hands just as she was about to put it in the grey sports bag.

It was your favourite jumper of hers, it smelled just like her and was a little oversized. "But that's my good luck jumper it makes me think of you" she frowned but the rejected look on your face made her reconsider her next few words. "Can I uhm- can I take one of your jumpers instead? I still need you with me" she whispered out the last sentence and you scrambled to get one of your favourites that she got for you one time.

And so the early hours were spent packing and reassuring until Wanda knocked and called for the Widow. With final goodbyes and reassuring scent markings, a mere few minutes later and your mate was well and truly commencing her mission. It was barely 7am and there was no way you could fall back asleep, not without her lulling you into a peaceful slumber. Natasha had told Yelena to make sure you were still functioning during her time away and while you were grateful for the blonde, you needed your mate.

><><><><

It was the third day of your heat and you had been insufferable. You had come out twice to eat and Yelena had to drag you out of your nest both times. In a heaped pile of Natasha's clothes, stuffed bears and her playlist, you were under it all. Surrounded. Today was supposed to be the peak of your heat and you had locked yourself in your room. You didn't want to hear, see or smell anyone other than Nat.

A low pitiful whine left your throat as you burrowed your face deeper into the Build-a-Bear she got you and it was painful for everyone else to hear. Every single bone in your body was calling out for your mate. Your mind was in a stuck loop of wanting to be as close to her as possible to not wanting to be reminded of her absence and it was torture.

"Y/n, hey malen'kiy, can I come in?" it was Yelena. Her voice was soft and warm; and a sense of security lingered slightly in the room. She was releasing calming hormones to at least try and settle your extremely high emotions, it almost felt like you were grieving for Nat. "I want my mate" you whimpered dejectedly and Yelena's heart ached for you. "I know I'm sorry" the assassin sighed as she stood by the door contemplating on what to do next.

"Do you want to face time her? I can try and sort an arrangement out with her so she's free on her downtime to call you?" she offered a little unsure on how you were going to react but all you did was let out a guttural low cry. “Okay okay no mentions of her you’re okay I’m so sorry” she tried to comfort you as best as she could from her position by the door.

With a heavy heart and teary eyes, she closed the door and let you be. Clearly anything remotely attached to Natasha was only giving you more grief. Your every so slightly rising and falling slumped body in a mess of clothes, smells and sounds was about the only thing indicating you were still alive.

Days passed and you still had not moved. Yelena came by every few hours to give you water but she was soon running out of glasses. Tomorrow was supposed to be the day your mate came home but Yelena wouldn’t be surprised if it had completely bypassed you. Night fall was probably the worst time you longed for your mate. The most you slept in the two weeks Natasha was away would only have to be a mere 40 hours.

Yelena once again, came to see if you were still alive and well but the whimpering made her physically cower from your closed door. She could only hope Nat was here for when you woke up.

><><><><

The second Natasha stepped off the quinjet she made a beeline to your shared room. Her heart was sore and her bones were aching. All she wanted was to wrap herself around you til the sun stopped rising. Yelena had kept her updated as best as she could but there was barely any signal where she had been hiding out. The last text she got was “she’s completely broken sestra” three days ago and she was panicking.

She padded lightly down the halls turning every corner with ease until she was finally at the door. Her senses going crazy as she heard your desperate howls for her. She creaked the door open and whined softly when she caught your scent, your body going rigid for a second before completely relaxing. She was here. Your mate was home.

Eager to be close to you, yet afraid to startle you, she made quick work of slipping out of her mission clothes and into your hoodie and a pair of your sweatpants. It was like she was on auto pilot. The minute she was close enough to hear your heartbeat, she was whining and slipping under your nest. Your small frame involuntarily reaching out for her when she was buried beneath the heaped mess of your relationship. Your two heartbeats matching pace and her smell finally surrounding you in person. Two hearts were made whole again.