#sorry this post is nothing im so tired im literally abt to go back to sleep but. what a day to wake up early
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riwrite · 4 months ago
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HDKGDJGS?????
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HDGKSJGAJFS...........WAUGHHHHHHH
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st44rgirlxo · 3 months ago
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Even pro heros like Dynamight forget important dates.
"hey babe don't forget our reservation tonight!"
"yeah yeah ok got to go" on the phone, katsuki rushes out the door to get to work.
you were really looking forward to this date tonight. It feels like its been forever since you and katsuki have spent actual quality time together. he comes home from work really late so by the time he's home you end up falling asleep waiting for him.
7:00pm comes around and you're finished getting ready. You're wearing a long black bodycon dress with matching black heels.
The restaurant was a 5 star restaurant and had very good reviews. You were excited to post pictures of you and katsuki looking cute.
You grab your purse and car keys and get in your car. Before you leave you shoot katsuki a quick text letting him know your leaving.
"hii kats im abt to leave. are you there?"
Once you arrive you park your car keeping an eye out for katsukis car.
you check your phone for any texts from katsuki
none
you text him again to let him know you arrived
“hey im here are you?��
you go in anyway, making sure you were in time for your reservation.
you get seated and you pull out your phone to call katsuki
the call goes to voicemail.
“fuck”
30 minutes go by and it’s completely dark outside your annoyed, stressed and just want to go home.
“ma’am will you be ordering anything” the waitress pulls out her writing pad
“uh yeah i guess so, but can i get it to go”
the waitress takes your order and eventually it comes to your table.
you take the takeout box and leave the restaurant. as you get in your car, you sigh and lay your head back
how could katsuki forget? this was literally the only date you’ve planned in a while and he forgot!?
as your pull up in your driveway you don’t see katsukis car
“what the hell, where is he”
you get inside and take off your heels
your tired of katsuki always forgetting this always happens
why does he do this?
you sit down at the kitchen table opening your takeout as you start to eat you hear katsukis car pull up.
the front door opens as katsuki walks in.
you don’t even look at him.
“hey babe”
you say nothing
“hey you good”
“where were you katsuki”
“I went out with the guys from some drinks after work”
he sees your dress and the takeout
“wait was our date tonight??”
“yes katsuki i told you this morning, but clearly work and your friends are more important”
you didn’t even have the energy to be mad
“do you know how much I was looking forward to spending quality time with my boyfriend? You never have time for me but you don’t think twice when you get asked to do something else”
tears were pouring down you face as your spoke softy but firmly
katsuki hated seeing you cry but he hated himself most for making you cry
“y/n I’m sorry”
“no katsuki, im tired of being 2 or even 3rd in line. do you know how draining that is?”
you turn around leaving katsuki alone with his thoughts
he fucked up
request r openn🔥🔥
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lasttree-garsennon · 2 years ago
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I posted 3,979 times in 2022
That's 3,630 more posts than 2021!
144 posts created (4%)
3,835 posts reblogged (96%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@parsnipt
@injuries-in-dust
@nitewrighter
@mujhe-rone-do
@a-really-hot-caterpillar
I tagged 405 of my posts in 2022
#oldie answers - 64 posts
#me - 22 posts
#me and who? - 11 posts
#struggles of oldie - 9 posts
#protect psy - 7 posts
#same - 6 posts
#purple my beloved - 6 posts
#protect sana - 4 posts
#the machine uprising - 4 posts
#good - 3 posts
Longest Tag: 123 characters
#uh no you can't you can get one for a bike that doesn't have gears but not for a car unless they recently changed the rules
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Orange
I want to get to know you too
26 notes - Posted November 20, 2022
#4
@mujhe-rone-do what THE FUCK are you doing up
29 notes - Posted December 3, 2022
#3
okay so like
first tehre was a lot of confusion abt which subjects we had
then somehow out of three two subjects students already got fixed and locked
so when the third subject teacher asked who wanted to do this one day before the festive vacation i raised my hand
and she picked everyone except for me and one other girl
she picked the girl sitting DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME and not me
nd im very good at SST btw i love social science and i get good grades in that out of 20 i got 19.5 last time so im validated too
and
i was like what no i am gonna do this
so i approached her and said "hi helo i wanna do this" and shes like "we have like 7 ppl already..." but i insisted so shes like "okay ill keep you as an extra" and drew a line under my name and put my name along with the other girl whom she had not picked lets call her s
so
then
she forgot (??) to put me in the gc in which they were discussing it
but she put s
lmao
and it was the vacaction and i dont have my own phone nor the teachers contact info
so i just. didnt know till after the holidays upon which i appraoched her and asked why i wasnt there and shes like oH oOPs or whatever and tells me i can help out if they need anything
so i went there but the kids just basically made me gvethem my statinary and then treated it like trash
and then disrespected me (whole diff incident) upon which i got mad and called a kid who had been dismissing me very much a problem and then i felt bad cuz i usually dont do shit like that like i just
dont say mean stuff back
but i did
anyway so
none of the kids, all of whom were in my class, reminded her i was supposed to be there too
idk if they forgot or what but s was literally next to me she knew she approached the teacher at the same time as me
so like. wow. after all my effort, after almost dying with the sleep deprivation and work load im just. forgettable. lmao
Do no harm but take no shit it's good you said some mean stuff to them and your teachers an idiot
Also you're not forgettable not to me
31 notes - Posted November 12, 2022
#2
ahhghgdhgaha i very tired today but i lots of tasks to finish
ill just tell you what i have to do and then update you with how many i finished if thats okay; if it's not just ignore this ask
finish textbook russian revolution
friend 1's early christmas present readied
friend 2's ''
finish cover 1 of TMOD
finish chem homework
english entrepreneur assignment
of this i have done eactly one aka chem homework i got other tasks done which i didnt write down tho
It's okay if you only manage to finish Chen homework today I'm proud of you
63 notes - Posted November 24, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
HELO HELO how does one flirt with a cis boy
in theory i know how and usually i can but i have exactly 1.5 weeks to make this work and i need it to go well and hes a hyperactive adhd as FUCK bitch like me so we bOTH KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED AND LOW KEY AWKWAR CUZ WE DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
HELP PLEASE HSKHDKS
Sorry kid you came to the wrong place
I know exactly nothing about flirting
Let alone het flirting
129 notes - Posted December 3, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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stereotaehyungnie · 4 years ago
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Aot headcanons
๑ Reiner Braun ⊰⊹ฺ dating modern au
cw! : smut, nsfw, minors do not interact, but also tons of fluff.
n/a: reiner is my man im sorry but i need to share how i feel abot this man!
a gentle gigant
huge fan of kisses of ANY kind slow, sensual, lot of tongue, fast, hungry. ANY kind literally this man KNOWS WHAT IT DOES.
he need some praise (say good boy and this man cracks just 4040 error).
this gigant can't dance tall and big like that, he cant even put one feet to the side without falling.
but can cook nicely, mamas boy knows how to temper.
cuddles cuddles cuddles
lack of sleep, this mf has many nightmares and chills at night, it is miraculous to see him sleeping more than three hours.
that man will see stars if you massage him no matter where your hands, back, feet or balls (🌝).
he likes intimacy so showering together is a PRECIOUS THING almost religious.
it doesn't look like it but it loves your hair if you like it you will spend hours combing it, braiding it, fixing it as you please.
this man knows the lover he has and he will make it a point to stare at you and tell you how beautiful you are, how juicy you look in that outfit (even if it's old pajamas of yours), how he wanna kiss you so hard... mf got you tripping just from your gaze... how dirty.
switch baby this man is a massive switch
he even show and bought you sex toy to peg him with.
this man can open A SEXSHOP bc he have EVERYTHING you think! Really into sex!
dont think he is into degradation, in a bad day he might cry if you call him slut, whore or anything like that but call him puppy or honey this man will be flying high.
when he is a sub he will be loud, he want everyone knowing he is yours...
Suck them tiddies and you will see him whimper rubbing on nothing trying to realise the pain.
sex w him = groans, moans, cum everywhere, red lips, deep breath but summing up a great mess!
many funny and embarrassing moments to share (one i like to imagine is him taking you from behind in front of a mirror but you endup losing balance falling in your face... bleed nose, cunt tripping and he all worried... funniest day it was!)
dirty jokes! not good at this but he laugh so hard at then that you endup laughing bc of his laughter.
me my boyfriend and his boyfriend Berthl.
old soul so he is kinda lost on social medias principally tiktok will fall in every prank, can not follow your memes, does not understand why the hell you, Connie, Jean and Sasha cant stop bitting your lips and poiting your arms but when he understand THIS MAN CANT STOP ANYMORE, you were chilling and FUCK BOY FACE IN YOUR FACE.
the best looking after sad, tired or sick people.He only knows what to do and what to say, when and how so it's easy to comfort yourself and move on.
expert in dates flowers, chocolate, fancy dinner, something more private, somewhere near, far. If you tell him to take you to the moon HE WILL DO IT.
he is empathetic with everything you do. He knows your pain, he celebrates your victory, he helps you with your doubts precisely because he knows what it's like to be left out.
grabbing your cheeks and thighs is relaxing and the best thing he does in his day so believe or not but soon in the morning when he is waking up he will cup your cheeks and kiss your whole face!
he loves seeing you w/ kids, he could imagine you a mother, actually the mother of his children, and that besides looking very tasty It was comforting.
don't fight with this man for no reason or he will stick to you like a lazy bug trying to fix your mistake or he will walk away in fear of not deserving your love.
dom reiner is sweet and sensual, it will use the slowest and deepest strokes you've ever seen until you cry begging for more, he just wanna see you beg just i!
dom reiner love having his fingers stuffed into your mouth he just likes the feel of his tongue sensually caressing his fingers, likes the gagging bc you are trying to give it your best and mostly he loved the way yours moans sounded different
king of consent and aftercare.
he always asks and talks to you about limits on sex in addition to wanting to know each of your tastes and fetishes
he brings water, helps you to go to the bathroom, straightens your hair, fills you with kisses, puts you on your lap and rocks until you fall asleep (and let's be honest by the damage you were in it didn't need much). But do the same for him when you get him exausted maybe he will end up crying bc "its so sweet of you doing thay to me bunnie... i love you so much, thank you for rocking the shit out me".
nicknames are a strong point and are always cute. Even loving to see you call him by his full name he melts with your calls like sweetie, love, kitten, honey and darling.
"all messy just like me!" the smirk that he gave you.... you wanted to slap him more.
the biggest teddy bear ever
omg im so nervous but really really glad for posting!
if you liked please interact with me!Like, reblog even my dms are open!
maybe i will do others characters dono when but soon! (maybe)
thanksss for enjoying till here and sorry abt any mistake! XOXO
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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years ago
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the person talking abt how they have to hide being queer from their family just like same that hit home so hard, and also same to learning so much abt queer history I started learning from harry and louis (through the bears bc of course, duh) and I took up reading the books rbb and sbb hv had on them and hv been mentioned (judy garland!!) anyway so I learnt sooo much more than like I knew existed? idk if that makes sense and it also made me realise that i hv a lot of internalised homophobia and it does feel incredibly lonely sometimes, because I hv no friends that are out and proud and the group of ppl at my school who are, are so nice and friendly and polite and i love talking to them in the hallways or in class when we get paired up but im so scared of like actually integrating myself into their crowd (the one time i tired to attend a meeting I had a panic attack in the bathroom) and i dont know why im telling u all this
and I dont think ppl fully understand what its like everywhere else in the world because im never going to forget this one time at a party where a girl and her girlfriend got shouted and leered at by all those boys (and their girlfriends who just let it happen, I've literally heard one of those girls talk abt how amazing it is to have a gay best friend) and how when one of them responded back by telling them off for their disgusting behaviour the boys physically started approaching them in a threatening manner
theres also these rumours that circulate sometimes abt why some ppl arent coming to school for days at a time and when they do finally show up they're slightly bruised and its bc [insert person] did smth to them and so many ppl will just casually throw into the conversation their sexuality, like everyone will be talking abt what happened and what they heard and some random dumbass will quip "I heard they're gay" and they'll whisper it, like its forbidden or smth and everyone will nod their heads like yes I understand now, like it fucking makes sense that this happened and it makes me want to punch someone
and its so fucking scary to think abt how these things just happen and ppl pretend they dont see it and everytime someone tells me i can trust an adult i think of the 3 teachers who all passed by a student who was very rainbow (it was pride month) and watched some dude basically bang his shoulder into him and the dude laughed and walked away when the guy in rainbow tripped and they did nothing
and online I see so many ppl talk abt how its ok to be gay in all these big cities and how everyone so open now! and everythigns ok! and yay to gay! gay ppl are privileged! fucking bullshit I say
because all these memories of horrific things come to mind evertyime someone says that and I dont know where ppl are getting the idea its ok everywhere now
and the first time I heard a group of ppl talk abt harry styles in a dress on the cover of vogue i got so excited bc i had secretly gone out and bought my younger brother (he likes to wear dresses and nail polish) a copy and how I had done that so damn discreetly and how damn hard it was to get it to him through my parents to him, it was so exciting and we were !!! jumping for joy and the next day at school some girl by the lockers and she called him queer like it was an insult and that got so deep in my soul and its still there, the way she said it, the way she phrased it
and im sorry this is so long ik that persons post wasnt even abt how ppl say thats 'its cool to be gay now' and that it still very much isnt but it got that out of me and u dont hv to read all this im just having a bad day im sorry :((
i hope u hv a good day tho ella u're lovely and v kind nd u make me happier and i love reading ur thoughts and I'll stop typing now <3
kind anon!! i wanna hug you so tight!!!!!
i'm so sorry you're in a place rn where you don't feel safe, where you aren't safe, where people around you are actively hostile. truly truly sorry.
you're right, the world has not caught up at all, it's a nonexistent reality that being queer has been accepted, let alone embraced everywhere. hell, i live in brussels and if i hold a girl's hand we're gaped at. when i first wore my pride pin on my bag i was terrified. when i lived in my smaller town growing up it was very much like how you describe it (tho less violent, thankfully, which really breaks my heart to read about your situation).
it can be a lonely place to grow up, and really hateful, and you saying you have a lot of internalised homophobia also hits home for me. i'm still unlearning every day. it's all the hostility surrounding us that makes us conform so as not to be the target of it, yk. nothing to ever be ashamed of, bc it's not our fault we were raised to hate ourselves.
same with the queer ppl in your neighborhood, don't be ashamed of being afraid. take your time, go at your own pace, and slowly take some steps towards them. it'll be worth your while, but i know it can be scary. be kind to yourself above all <3
you sound like a wonderful sibling to your brother - goes to show how we'll always find a way to stick together and find our role models, despite the limits others put up!!
stay queer (laudatory), baby!!!
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sunsetsover · 3 years ago
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Just hopping on the anons last week who said they'd done reading around BPD and Ben etc after reading your posts to say... when Whitney told Ben he makes everything about himself in this week's eps I immediately thought of you! Like lemme explain lmao I remember last year you wrote about how lots of fans said Ben was making everything about him when him and Callum had that argument about the warehouse job in Sept.? And you wrote about how you viewed it and how looking at Ben through a lense of mh goes a different interpretation etc. Idk Whitney saying that just made me recall your thoughts on the fandom saying the same thing lmao.
(although tbh I didn't think Whitney was v fair saying that anyway bc how was he meant to know Callum had witnessed a stabbing etc?? He wasn't making it about himself he was simply worrying about the info he had access to???)
no joke i literally thought the exact same thing after i watched it yesterday. not the post (tho i do remember what you're talking about!) but i was like 'oh ben's behaviour is VERY bpd' like probably the most obvious example we've had since 2019 maybe and then i was like man.... how many people are going to have Bad Takes abt ben's behaviour and how he's 'selfish' and then i was thinking abt what whit said and it reminded me of something i heard once and i've tried to find it but i can't and i'm gutted bc it made so much sense but it was abt how bpd are often viewed as selfish or making everything abt us but we do that bc we literally feel like everything IS because of us/our fault. it's literally a Symptom. like when you're hypersensitive and terrified of everyone abandoning you EVERYTHING feels personal.
like someone's in a bad mood? clearly i have done something to put them in a bad mood. someone doesn't reply? clearly they hate me. you smile at someone in public and they don't smile back? clearly they can sense something is Wrong with me and didn't want to engage. either that or they think i'm hideously ugly. that's the default assumption, that it's somehow something to do with me. not that they're going thru their own shit or that they're busy or tired. and then when we're talking abt someone you're close too, the fear of abandonment comes into play where you either start to push them away bc you're convinced they're gonna leave anyway or frantically do things or change things to help convince them to stay, and both of these can go very extreme. and ofc it's not logical but we can't help it. i'm always saying this to people in my life: i know how i'm feeling/what i'm doing isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but i literally can't help it. it's like the sensible you is locked in the back of your brain forced to witness all of your own bs but they're literally powerless to do anything about it.
which is also why i can understand under the hysteria of your own fear of abandonment and hypersensitivity why ben could convince himself callum was gonna leave him for whitney. like ofc i get why ppl would find that unrealistic and offensive, but i can't NOT see him as bpd, and when you have bpd that fear of abandonment is so so incredibly pervasive that you start thinking things like that and convince yourself that they're real. like you genuinely believe them. and someone of sound mind is like 'that doesn't make any sense, he's gay' but like.... that almost is irrelevant to a certain degree. your own belief that you're so unlovable and that everyone is going to leave you holds SO much weight in your mind, more than even reality itself.
like you could almost compare it to hallucination. reality and logic dictates that it's impossible for there to be a man crawling on the ceiling, but if you can see it and hear it and feel it then ofc you're going to believe it's real. reality and logic become irrelevant bc you KNOW it's there, even though it isn't, u know? it's the same kind of thing: reality says ofc callum isn't gonna propose to whitney when he's married and literally gay, but that all-consuming fear of abandonment is so much louder when it says 'he's lying, he's sneaking around w his ex, he's not talking to you about anything, he's got a ring, ofc he's gonna propose to her, she didn't ask him to quit his job or force him into a position where he had to lie for months, ofc he was gonna leave, he just married you out of pity, this is all your fault, you don't deserve happiness or love bc you're a bad person lmao what did you even expect?' etc u know
if i'm being completely honest if i were in ben's shoes i could EASILY see myself being convinced my gay partner is gonna leave me for their ex of the opposite sex. like worryingly easily. and tbh between that and what was going on with kheerat, i actually think he coped surprisingly well. like i genuinely thought that yesterday that if i was in his situation i probably would have reacted much worse and been in much worse a state than he was. and i'm not just saying that, i think his growth since 2019 is obvious in how tame his reaction to it all was tbh.
i realize probably no one will bother but if anyone really is interested and wants to understand more then u should watch this video. i've timestamped it at the first point bc if nothing else u should listen to that bc it helps explain what i've said in a much better way esp the example abt clearing out the garage but the whole video is really good and i would love for some ppl to watch it. like i know it's half hour and that's a long time and also the interviewer is obnoxious and p insensitive but the doctor herself is really good and explains everything i've been trying to explain in a MUCH better way than i ever could and i think it will really help you understand what it's like to be someone bpd and what it actually means for day to day life
like i realize i've completely gone off on one w this and im sorry but i have opinions and i just want people to understand you know?? not necessarily for ben as a character but for all the ppl out there w bpd bc !!!! no one gives a fuck abt us they just misunderstand us and then do literally nothing to try and understand us when we try to explain ourselves so to have ppl actually engaging in this dialogue w me makes me very excited and i try to explain as much as i can while i have the opportunity u know lmao so i very much appreciate you and getting messages like this thank you 💞💞💞
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selfcareparker · 4 years ago
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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN
to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)
LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD
i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol
i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee
i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')
i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol
also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?
now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')
yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌
yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo
speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉
uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?
also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?
HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭
and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.
(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭
SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY
i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)
LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)
LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .
my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL
one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.
superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)
lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good
own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly
rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this
shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire
before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰
(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)
VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)
(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)
now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing
you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)
HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing
once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .
mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔
summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so
IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly
when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌
okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO
but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘
& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')
also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗
READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah
#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily
hiiiiiiiiiii <3333
Dear catherine, 😌
(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰
Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol
Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually
okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?
also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.
There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly
Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good
(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)
I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj
n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)
Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao
Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn
Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.
Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool
Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao
Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???
I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria
(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)
I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧
Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!
Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌
how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰
i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs
AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲
Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼
I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3
.
It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol
oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼
okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭
it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)
THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧
I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼
Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now
I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)
Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭
Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌
also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌
I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)
Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭
So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool
Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)
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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years ago
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i dont wanna ruin ppls fun or w/e but i just,,,,,,, anybody else honestly getting tired of seeing character coding essays. bc like. ppl will write some analysis on how a character is ‘coded’ as a minority and then their examples literally just boil down to 100% personal headcanons revolving around stereotypes, baiting, or just literally making something out of nothing. like. i am not personally gonna Celebrate that?? and im not gonna give some random privileged creator my praise for any one of those things???
idk hot take but.... imo? coding isnt. even good. its not a diversity positive thing to ‘’’code’’’ a character. frankly most of the time a character isnt even fucking coded as anything, but even when thats truly the case, its not rly. representation. its half assed, its a cop out decision. it should be like. a last resort for when you Cant represent a trait, like if ur fighting censorship or smth. otherwise................ whats the point of it dude. im rly not trying to be black or white abt it but. minority rep is not the place for requiring ‘analysis’. just represent the fucking trait. if you want people to think your character is a certain thing... blatantly make them the thing. you dont make majorities play guessing games with their rep, why should i let you play me like that. i dont want your symbolism or ‘’’’’’coding’’’’’’. to me its insulting, demeaning, and does nothing for me. and thats just talking about when coding posts end up being Reasonable, 9 times out of 10... its downright eyeroll worthy. now ofc, however you choose to relate to characters is 100% fine, and you viewing their traits as relatable to your through your own minority lens is valid analysis! but its kinda inexcusable to ignore the social harm it causes to just. literally out loud pretend that blatantly coincidental or even Malicious character choices are actually intentional, and that this vague intention would mean anything truly progressive anyways, especially when once again, most of these ‘coding’ essays are written about stereotypes and baiting. coding at this point seems to be just... a fancy word for ‘a headcanon with a little extra analysis to fantasize that this was the truth all along, yaaay everybody agree with me’.
in other words.... if you try to tell me one more time about how this quirky character is autism coded, or this male character who one time said he doesnt like sports is gay coded, i am gonna fucking scream. lmao dude. no they arent. thats not real. they arent for me. they dont represent me. they were probably written by an abled cishet who isnt thinking about me at all, so im sorry, but its just too much to ask for me to pretend with you. i refuse to lower my standards that fucking far. i will Not clap for that, i will Not fake that this means anything to me just bc you want me to. and if its actually supposed to be that way, well tbh the concept would probably offend me bc based on the points given it sounds like absolute garbage rep anyways. smh. like its fine when you see stuff that way, but thats a fuckign HEADCANON ok, stop using stereotypes and baiting as examples of ANYTHING positive or realistic, and pls just go back to writing HEADCANON analysis essays instead of implying this sort of shit is intentional and progressive, unless you have CLEAR evidence thats fucking real and makes sense!! im sorry to be harsh but it makes me wanna pull my hair out lmao. idk, have fun, but pls stop and think about how it affects other minorities (and if you’re one, remember the people in your group besides yourself) when you leap from ‘this is what i think for self related reasons’, and ‘this is what i am going to publicly claim is the truth’. theres a big difference in headcanon vs coding conversations, and the problem is its way more harmful if you fuck ‘coding’ up the way a Lot of people have been.
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caandlelit · 4 years ago
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omg werewolf matsukawa elaborate i want dem hcs
ok so ive got this horrible word doc with my jambled mess of a concept for this witch makki werewolf matsun fic im writing its like 3% done expect it within 2 business years
(edit. this post is too long but i cant stop typing this is good)
werewolf matsun is the SEXIEST idea ever anyone thats done it is doing gods work because that shit is hot . its fucking sexy okay
in my barely formed au he becomes a werewolf in third year
he hears about weird sounds in the forest at night ok
and he convinces witch hanamaki that they shld camp out and see what it is 
because he’s been so interested in the witchy supernatural shit since even before he met him 
and hanamaki is like okay fine But im wearing my warding pendent and matsukawa is like WHEN WILL U ADMIT YOU’RE A WITCH and hanamaki, mid-putting on his witch hat, ruffles his hair and says idk what ur talking about
they camp out and they’re just bantering and its cute and fun for 2 hours then
matsun hears growling and snapping noises and he’s like hanamaki stay in the fuckin tent 
and obviously hanamaki is like on god that is the stupidest thing uve ever said issei no
 and matsukawa steps outside and he holds a hand back to stop makki and he steps out and looks around, eyes narrows 
and he’s like … straightening up and furrows his brows and ‘theres nothing here’ 
and he feels like everything is slow and odd and unreal and he turns and sees bright, yellow eyes and he hears the snarl and jerks back 
and he’s being attacked and leaped upon and he shouts curses and screams and theres sharp teeth at his side and the smell of matted fur 
and hanamaki sprints out and ?? magic spells it away (leave me alone) 
what is the spell? what kindof witch is hanamaki? what does he say?
(begone thot!) 
the wolf creature howls and thuds off, fast and loping and hanamaki turns and he’s panicked and is like ‘issei? oh FUCK’
matsukawa is like fuck fuck fuck 
leaning against a tree and lightheaded and he collapses, head back against the trunk and sweat pouring down his temples, iron in his mouth where hes biting his tongue to keep from scremaing at the sharp pain
touches his side and his fingers come away bloody 
his breath is heavy and hes like takahiro im dying 
and hanamaki’s dropping down beside him and lifts his arm and says shut the fuck up you’re not dying you asshole and hes sniffling 
and matsuns like im sorry i dragged u out here and hanamaki’s like shut up shut up. issei. shit . issei you were right 
and hes like wh what was i right about and hes like you were right. im a witch . and youre not fucking dying here, asshole
issei mumbles fuck yeah and does like a little fist pump
and he whispers a spell to carry him over back to his house 
and he bandages him up and matsun is tired and in pain and staring at him in the moonlight 
MONDAY
go to school and matsun has white bandages wrapped around his side hidden under his shirt and hes a little scraped up even though hanamaki healed and cleaned up as much as he could
someones like oooh matsukawa your arm is scraped up wtf 
and hes like yeah man i got in a fight to protect takahiros honor 
makki’s like yeah…. :/// he lost 
and matsuns like shut up asshole and theyre laughing and theyre good theyre okay 
half way through the school day, long and tired and the bell seems louder and harsher and shriller and everything is too bright and loud and making his eyes and ears hurt 
in the bathroom matsun takes off the tape bc hes feeling nauseous and everything feels a little too much for some reason hes assuming bc of the wound, maybe its infected
and he checks it while hes inside and the bandages come off and 
its clean no bite no blood no mark 
and he stares at it and says what the fuck and texts hanamaki 
and hanamaki sees the text and its just ‘SOS BATHROOM NOW PLELASE’ 
asks his teacher to let him go to the bathroom and he steps into the bathroom and matsun spins around and gestures at his side and chest wordlessly 
hanamaki like blinks at the sight of matsuns abs and then blinks again at the healed skin and hes like what the fuck  
so
he has sharper vision and sense of smell and hearing 
and hes like takahiro……..everything feels horrible and too much and hanamaki’s like ok so what do u want me to do knock u out so u don’t feel anything? and matsukawa’s like huh actually and hana’s like Shut up Dumbass
werewolf matsukawa suddenly stronger and hanamaki so so bitter about it ignoring his personal ‘im attracted to him’ feelings and pretending hes mad abt the super strength
matsukawa’s eyes glinting yellow on occasion and hanamaki trying not to scream bc god that’s sexy
the day they see the healed skin they like walk home silent and shell shocked 
matsukawa staring hollowly at the sidewalk his posture lost
hanamaki squinting off into the distance
makki opening his mouth angrily at one point
only to close it defeatedly bc he cant even……
a conversation in hanamaki’s bedroom along the lines of 
‘issei why is my life literally teen wolf why am I stiles from teen wolf’ 
matsun perks up ‘oh that’s dylan o briens character right? does that make me derek !!!’ 
and hanamaki turns from where hes muttering angrily and squints at him and says slowly
‘why the fu- dude? u r scott ??? because u are a FUCKING WEREWOLF ??????? why would u be derek ???? ur my best friend that turned into a GODDAMN WEREWOLF-‘ 
‘okok calm down hiro fine fine chill out‘ 
matsuns like slumping like ‘ugh, scott. i don’t wanna be scott hes painfully straight-‘ 
and hanamakis like throwing his hands up and shouting like ‘SO THEN !! why would u want to be derek!!!’ 
and issei’s like ‘…….nevermind we r not in the state to have a conversation about teen wolf, a show neither of us finished and obviously dont have any knowledge about’
im gonna have it properly set in 2013 itll be so cringey and fun
matsukawa also has insomnia and and gets migraines sometimes 
and hanamaki’s witchy incense smelling house and bedroom having him nodding off so easily and he sleeps over a lot 
especially after he gets bitten, because the migraines get worse
moreso near the full moon
and he comes in through the window and hanamaki is half asleep but always automatically pulls up his blanket and lets him in
big spoon matsun
he curls into his chest as best as he can, pressed tight between the wall and matsukawa
also i have this 
italics: makki
bold: mattsun
list of signs pointing towards issei probably being a werewolf: 
got bit by a giant dog-creature the bite mark disappeared next day (???? freaky shit)
sudden super healing and durability (useful for when oikawa serves the ball into your head – lmfao)
sudden heightened senses (my headaches r .. multiplying - :( )
sudden super strength (fuck u issei – i didn’t ask to be bitten takahiro – oh no u were bitten how sad for u and ur six pack – the werewolf actually decided i deserve super strength bc of how cool i am – and immeasurable pain every full moon too huh ???? – ...sacrifices were made)
90% sure he got stupider – sign of a dog brain ?? (FUCK OFF – do u want me to explain what a percentage is <3 – no </3)
hair growth (wtf does that mean ??? – it means i suddenly have more chest hair its very weird – ngl to u u were already pretty hairy -  fucker)
eyes turn yellow sometimes (wait, really????? – yes its so fucking weird – that sounds fucking epic actually – no comment)
big dick energy went up the ROOF (ok that’s enough asshole – tell me im lying hiro.)
edit: ok the full moon happened we’re all traumatized and hes definitely a FUCKING werewolf.
ill finish this as a fic one day ill post when i do
might also make a useless porno oneshot with just werewolf matsukawa and ? possibly dancer makki im very into dancer makki atm
long post im very sorry but !!!! thanks for the ask 
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badatusernames · 5 years ago
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CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY
THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.
EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL
SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;
Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)
Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on
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thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.
of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.
it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 
Shikamaru
Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 
don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other
but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 
Lee
Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.
you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)
Gaara
Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”
but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.
Hinata
Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.
has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.
i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass
General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.
that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.
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crusty · 5 years ago
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Why are people being such assholes over your commissions like, did they forget this is an emergency thing? Hello?
RIGHT? No its a mix of all these like. rabid incest shippers pissed that i dont like???? incest???
One of those incest freaks apparently commissioned me and i didn’t know who they were/didnt see anything weird abt their request until they like. pmed me asking for a refund
me: im like shoot im sorry i took to long ye ill hook u up! whats ur paypal!
them: oh no im not comfy with giving u money or my paypal
turns out theyre an incest shipper and i go into a blind fury
if i havent started on your piece and youre in line than yeah ill give you your money back dude obv not everyones comfy with waiting . i do have a long waitlist at times and it always says it on my ko-fi before you buy a commission.
but i do reserve the right to refuse a transaction completely if youre trying to get me to do some fucked up shit. usually b4 something takes place.
that weirdo fuckin incest shipper grayvys just so happened to be one of them :// apparently made a callout post on fuckin tumblr and twitter because i REFUSED to give him back his . wait for it. 10 DOLLARS
since i know he namedropped me theres no point uhhhhhh just droppin these since him/his friends have been harassing me and my friends for like the past 4 hours lol
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that includes him/his friends calling me a thief and insinuated i didnt send him his 9 fucking incest dollars back. which i only did because they were harassing my innocent friend who had nothing to do with it lol
https://twitter.com/burnitalldown4
twitter whos ??? calling me a thief LOL anyways im really tired guys
i dont know how to describe how like. distressing all of this fucking shit is as a survivor of childhood assault by YOU GUESS IT a family member . literally had a fucking panic attack as soon as i saw this guys fucking blog like you expect me??? to be okay with this? no thanks.
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dulharpa · 5 years ago
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this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333
it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))
(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))
i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 
i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))
ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;
anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD
far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader
firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them
‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’
IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto
ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀
‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’
yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 
oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them
‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’
ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 
‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 
your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)
‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘
mood during this quarantine lol
‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘
 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT
ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol
oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool
‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’
👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes
eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant
oh no :(( more angst
‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;
very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 
i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)
slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader
omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD
‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’
oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)
ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo
oh gosh
‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’
this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 
i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad
NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!
oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg
‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”
this is so soft i stg im crying in the club
OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!
anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 
i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn
.
cookies and rings and things bucky and reader
‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’
did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 
‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3
you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)
‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘
you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness
‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘
he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)
‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’
this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333
you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 
‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘
yike bringing back that reminder oof
but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  
‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART
you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying
“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.
oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!
oh shit o am literally crying
your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy
I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 
ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 
thank you so much for everything hayley!
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ethospathoslogan · 6 years ago
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okay so there's one thing ive been seeing A Lot of since the new video and, maybe someone else has already mentioned this and im just not seeing the posts, but i kinda wanna talk abt it and low key theorize
tbh, w/ this new video and the logan/roman content it gave us, im kinda seeing a lot of people pointing fingers? like maybe im just interpreting stuff wrong but, to me, it seems like a lot of people are only saying "roman needs to apologize for _______" and "logan needs to apologize for _______" but never both? which i personally think is a super big distinction?
like, as someone whose first and second favorite sides are logan and roman, i will be the first to admit that both of them said and did really not nice things in the new video. but a lot of what im seeing is people acting like only one of them did something wrong while the other was only a victim to it??? and idk i just think that they both have a lot of shit to work on while also being each others victims
also oh yeah before i forget, one thing im kinda tired of seeing is people acting like logan is the only side to ever speak down to patton when roman literally does the same thing in basically all of the same videos but go off ig lmao
okay sudden salt rant over sorry ive been holding that back for months
okay but im not saying all of this to drag down logan and roman. hell, those two are my favorite sides, i would die for them. but what i am saying is that it seems like both are going through a negative character development that is purposeful for the narrative. like, roman is spiralling into his insecurities and acting extremely over the top, and even rude, to compensate. logan feels like he isn't being listened to and taken seriously so he is building up his walls and being meaner so people listen. is any of that okay??? no!!! but i think that's the point!!! listen i love negative character development
i personally think a huge part of the upcoming roman/logan arcs is going to be them actually talking out their issues. from "what makes us get out of bed" to "learning new things," yes, they have had some dialogue about themselves and how they're feeling. but nothing has actually been resolved. for both of them, things have just been simmering under the surface, and yeah maybe the "heat has been turned down," but that doesnt mean that tensions wont rise again in the future. i think both of their arcs are going to focus on working out their issues and working them out together.
like, yes, point out their flaws!!! point out how they are both condescending to patton and both definitely have more than one mean bone in their body!!! but, in my opinion, to only point fingers at one side is to ignore a part of their narrative. with the way the story seems to be going, roman and logan have a lot of shit they need to work out, and a lot of it coincides with the other. like, yes, roman has his insecurities, and logan doesnt feel listened to, but neither of that justifies the fights they have or the things they say to the other sides!!! and that's obviously not going to be ignored in the narrative, but we also cant ignore that both logan and roman have messed up many times
like, idk, the way i see it is that to condemn one and justify the other makes no sense bc, essentially, they are doing very similar things. both of them feel extremely inadequate and dont know how to properly express it, so they take it out on themselves, each other, and the others, which obvi isnt okay. like, yeah, they're working on it!!! but they still have a long way to go!!! and i think their arcs are going to connect in that way, or at the very least there will be a video about it where logan and roman Truly talk
basically, moral of my ted talk, i dont think it's useful to act like one of them is fucking up and needs to be better while the other side is doing nothing wrong and is justified. virgil was right in saying that both logan and roman are part of the problem, so it only makes sense for both logan and roman to work on it. to point fingers will get them no where, as we saw with the first like 15 minutes of the new video, so us pointing fingers isnt going to get anywhere either. whatever's next for the series, i have a strong feeling that it's gonna take both logan and roman working to better themselves and finally working together for their (first) arcs to come to a close. it's not just "mean logan/roman vs. victim roman/logan," it's going to require them swallowing their pride and bettering themselves and working on their mistakes and learning to work as a team because, as thomas said, logan and roman can really work as a great team if they truly try to
thanks for coming to my ted talk
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dreammutual-remade · 6 years ago
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high school!donghyuck
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request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous
word count: 5.1k
a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby
masterlist
mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung
big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this
i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in
let us take the plunge
okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career
you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 
anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories
one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do
you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely
you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary
criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:
it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games
and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/
this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D
there is, a setback tho
THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!
u fckin softie
you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill
as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER
when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF
but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash
usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM
broom broom- doyoung
unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!
hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES
your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms
“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”
you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly
:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf
“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”
“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“
you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy
you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF
he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW
“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”
“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”
“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”
“well if you INSIST m’lady”
“aw, never mind”
“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”
so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in
on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck
“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”
“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”
after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠
also because it’s cute
you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys
anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places
and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD
your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that
and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS
your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??
you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL
he chuckles and side eyes you
“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”
“yES. like any sane person would be”
“you know a lot of people actually like storms”
“like i said, SANE people do not”
and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment
you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins
“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”
“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”
“ ew you mean mark??”
“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”
MARKHYUCK RISE
“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”
“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”
“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”
at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them
(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)
he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely
oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR
and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((
as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty
when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!
you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions
the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA
duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good
such a sweet boy uwu
when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment
she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!
she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM
so you do
both of those things !!!
you: hey!! it’s y/n btw
duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u
you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME
you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material
the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes
and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals
can’t believe u smh
anywhom
you start actually interacting with people in class
and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there
you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team
and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????
“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”
“ugh but i don’t know how”
“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”
“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”
this is usually when duckie interjects with
“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”
“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”
poor jaemin leave him alone :(
jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute
and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like
“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”
“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”
“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”
his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement
“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”
hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons
renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH
sneaky bastards !
after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??
“hey duckie boy you good?”
“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”
“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”
your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message
lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!
blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho
moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them
jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons
you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP
blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*
duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???
you: ur dead to me
you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit
lele: NO IM SORRY
but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy
hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0
you agree to take his car !
actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed
you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend
actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies
you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window
okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat
you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you
you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie
he sighs anxiously
“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”
“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”
“nope. now gimme”
you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck
he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie
you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice
you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours
when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(
you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his
“this one’s cold too”
he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu
eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream
you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES
the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one
and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???
you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man
without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page
needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man
“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”
“me too, sunshine”
“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”
both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK
“alright but then you have to be the rain”
“aw you know i don’t like the rain”
“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”
“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”
“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”
OOF ????????
you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES
you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense
you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine
THE !!! IRONY !!!
you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter
you plug your phone into the aux
“alright time for some Real Tunes”
“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”
“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”
“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”
“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”
“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”
you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song
“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”
and then, with heavy sarcasm
“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”
“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”
then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car
“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”
“yes but leave my gorls out of it”
he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest
“ugh go home, gru”
“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”
you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in
you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly
it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW
WAS THAT A DATE ??????
you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???
but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot
although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y
it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥
but those can be discussed another time
you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING
jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper
but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !
so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you
he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”
ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby
and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!
you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!
it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay
chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that
you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you
since he…… hasn’t …… YET
renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING
alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns
but later in the day you feel SHITTY
you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water
you , comrade, are sick :-(
you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come
chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds
“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”
“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”
“oh,,,,sorry love u”
and then he hangs up real fast lmao
so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand
there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard
after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???
you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer
you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame
this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough
in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door
you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch
“duckie? what are u doing here?”
“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”
he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly
“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”
“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”
“sounds good duck”
“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”
“you know i didn’t have to let you in”
“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”
he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him
he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove
you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster
after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie
but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around
“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”
“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”
“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”
“i’m not being difficult i’m just-
you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh
you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE
but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin
you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace
you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth
after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder
and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT
you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him
you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch
he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms
when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer
you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes
“babe are you asleep”
“mm”
“no?”
“mmm”
“pretty close though?”
“hm”
“alright”
he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed
you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan
(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)
as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand
you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours
hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other
right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention
your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???
“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”
“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”
“shut up and say yes”
“alright fine”
“with more enthusiasm!”
“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”
he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing
you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain
a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel
you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((
you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger
“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”
you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out
the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu
he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((
duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!
you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN
you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖
duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross
you: you ruined it :(((
duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better
you: okay :)))
you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess
he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE
you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu
he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!
“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”
“nO!!! no i love it you did good”
“are you sure?”
“yes duckie”
“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”
“but you just-“
“hm?”
“,,,,, nevermind”
you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair
you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat
(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)
his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!
then, without opening his eyes
“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”
“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”
“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”
“i held your hand first!!”
“after i literally offered my hand to you”
“uGH fine come here”
“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”
“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”
“this isn’t helping at all”
you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his
“does this help?”
aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;
QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE
he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck
you pull away and his eyes are still closed
“hmmm,,, yeah”
you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap
“you’re such a dork”
“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”
“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”
“is it just me or was that sarcasm”
“just you <3333”
renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME
screams when you call him that night lol
literally SCREECHES
chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER
basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one
hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out
he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go
you have to go pee? hold it
you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love
your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try
and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !
dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao
no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot
ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/
donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does
at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart
on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you
he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE
his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you
he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways
if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up
basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)
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sorikkung · 6 years ago
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*♡ 。・゚゚・ soft bias tag
stolen not tagged bc im a fucking pleb who doesnt get tagged in shit ripppp LONG POST WARNING IM SORRY MOBILE USERS
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 1. WHO IS YOUR BIAS?
i really can’t choose between got7′s bambam and stray kids’ felix bc both are my ults so fuck the system i’m gonna do this as a poly au bc the world needs more poly shit and felix and bambam would be such a good pair
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 2. WHAT MADE YOU NOTICE THEM?
i noticed bambam first, technically i first glanced him in girls girls girls bc i was anime trash before i was kpop trash and he rEALLY looked like nishinoya from haikyuu so i called him nishinoya and thought he’d just be a first glance bias, until i saw a compilation of got7s dumbest moments and most of them were jackbam and i saw two specific clips that i recall, the one where they had to do the ugly dance of gggs outside the jyp building and bambam literally spazzed on the floor?? and the iconic how do you know im not big moment. i looked at him and went “tHAT ONE. THAT ONE, I WANT THE TRASH CHILD.” been in love ever since.
felix singlehandedly got me to stan stray kids, i first glanced changbin in hellevator then highkey forgot abt them as the show aired. then my friend sent me this clip of felix’s verse in grr from the live stage bc at this point the album hadnt even dropped yet. i was shook to the next dimension from his deep ass voice and his growling and i wanted to hear more so i watched the show and only fell in love with him more.
i betcha if this poly were to happen felix would see bambam dabbing and go “OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONE STILL DABBING IN 2K18″ and bambam would see felix dabbing and be like “OMG HES CONTINUING MY LEGACY” and they’d hit it off from there
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM?
for both of them, i love how they’re both absolute crackheads. like they’re actually so stupid and what the fuck is going through their heads???? they make me smile like and idiot and laugh like no other so of course i love them. plus they have this adorable sweet side to them apart from them being memes and its so heartwarming to see that soft side come out, it makes them so much more of a three dimensional character cause there’s all these sides to them and they’re like so hardworking too and did i mention handsome? plus their love for their members ugh i could go on!!!
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 4. WHO WOULD INITIATE SKINSHIP MORE?
tough call bc im a HOE for affection and skinship but id honestly be too afraid to make them uncomfortable/be too clingy that they’d get annoyed at me so at first it would probably be felix bc lets be real. he comes from stray kids. have you seen bang chan? they bring skinship to a new level. once we all get settled in tho, i bet the three of us would be physically inseperable.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 5. WHO WOULD HOG BLANKETS MORE?
literally all of us. i always end up biasing ppl similar to me sigh we’d be so fucking wild. i betcha that would be the one thing we have regular fights over. who hogged the blanket this time???
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 6. WHO WOULD BE MORE CLINGY?
felix. as mentioned in the initiate skinship, hes really clingy. then it would be me bc i am too. but thats not to say bambam isnt clingy, he’d be super clingy too but me and felix would bring it up a notch.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 7. WHO WOULD SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’ FIRST?
m e. i’d just let it slip out after they do some dumb shit and id just go “wow youre such a fucking dumb dork i actually love you” and then have an o shit moment.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 8. WHO WOULD BE MORE EASILY FLUSTERED?
M E bc bambam is a smOOTH motherfucker and felix is an affectionate motherfucker and i am w e a k although i feel like they’d be easily flustered if they were teased, which i would do, but i think i’d be flustered the most.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 9. WHAT CUDDLING POSITION WOULD YOU TWO HAVE?
i wanna be sandwiched inbetween them bc im shorter than both of them lmaoo. but i bet we’d all bicker of who’s turn it is to be in the middle. another one would be when sitting on the couch, and we’d sit in eachothers laps in height order. itll work somehow.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 10. WHICH COLORS REMIND YOU OF THEM AND WHY?
bambam makes me think of black, white, red, and purple. black and white is bc his fashion sense is like modern and chic and those were also his most iconic hair colours. red because of his signature eyeshadow. purple just seems like a colour that would suit him, it’s royal and elegant but also homey and familiar?? but tbh he can make any colour his bitch.
felix is yellow, gold, orange, and brown, bc theyre warm colours like him!! the brighter colours are bc hes bright like the sun and the browns when its a more chill day, and its all down to earth and just feels like home.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 12. WHICH SEASON WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND WITH THEM?
ooft tough one...spring so i can spend my birthday with them (cause in AUSTRALIA spring is in september to november) and its cold at the start so we can have snuggle dates, and its hot at the end so we can go to beaches and have water fights and stuff!! and in the middle its perfect weather for nice strolls.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 13. WHO WOULD BAKE THE COOKIES AND WHO WOULD STEAL THE BATTER?
bambam can cook apparently and he likes being aesthetic af so he’d be trying his best to make the most bomb ass cookies, and then felix i bet is a disaster in the kitchen so i bet both of us will be stealing the batter while not helping at all and bams will be like “thanks for nothing you guys” and once realising that we weren’t gonna stop he’d turn on us and throw flour at us or something. foodfight!!
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 14. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD MAKE BAD PUNS AND HOW WOULD THE OTHER REACT?
i am a hoe for bad puns it would totally be me all the time. bambam would look so disappointed in me and felix would just burst out laughing with me, and bambam would crack bc how can he stay mad?? if it was an inside joke or a reference to smth and not some random pun, bams would be the first to lose it tho.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 15. WHO WOULD WANT TO ADOPT 50 DOGS AND CATS?
me and bambam!!!! bambam already has like 3 cats and id be like ok lets get three MORE and MORE and felix is like “but im a dog person :(((” (at a fansign he said he was rip) so id be like well dogs are great as well lets get fifty of those too!!!
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 16. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD NEARLY BURN DOWN THE KITCHEN TRYING TO MICROWAVE A POP TART AND WHO WOULD COME TO THE RESCUE?
i wouldn’t be fucked microwaving poptarts (although id probably burn down the kitchen trying to cook eggs or smth but this is about poptarts so its not be this time.) so it would probably be felix and then i’d come to the rescue bc i have fire safety training from scouts.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 17. WHO LIKES TO LEAN OVER TALL RAILINGS AND WHO PULLS THEM BACK?
bambam and i would lean over the tall railings and felix would pull us back bc as seen in the amusement park episode of the 9th, hes a pussy lmfAO he’d have a mini heart attack
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 18. WHAT WOULD WATCHING A HORROR FILM WITH THEM BE LIKE?
bambam would act all tough and felix would be like “o shit pls no” and both of them would scream at the jumpscares and cling to eachother or me, whoever’s closest. i’d probably sit there and laugh and tease them for being a baby bc horror movies aint shit with me. but the rare occassion i do get scared, i’d lose my shit and they’d never let me hear the end of it. “whos the baby now huh??”
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 19. WHO WOULD BE THE CHEESY FLIRT AND WHO WOULD BE THE SMOOTH FLIRT?
bambam is definitely the smooth flirt but he can be cheesy as well?? like he’d be smooth at times and smooth and cheesy other times. felix would be plain cheesy but sometimes he’d be smooth. same with me, i’d be a bit of both?? maybe slightly more smooth idk
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 20. WHO IS MORE COMPETITIVE? felix i feel like would be competitive in the moment but calms down quickly, bambam would be SUPER competitive and be a little petty afterwards if he lost or smug af if he won but after a while he’ll cool down as well, i’m probably the most competitive and most likely to hold a grudge or to rub it in their faces the longest lol.
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 21. WHO WOULD HAVE TO BE GIVEN CONSTANT REMINDERS? (REMEMBER TO EAT, DON’T FORGET YOUR KEYS, ETC) idk...? all of us love to eat so i dont think taking care of ourselves will be forgotten, but i tend to lose things so maybe me being reminded idk???
*♡ 。・゚゚・ 22. WHO SENDS MEMES AND WHO SENDS CUTE ‘I MISS YOU’ TEXTS AT 3AM?
ALL OF US! we’d have a group chat and see who could stay up until 4:20 to send dumb memes but if we get too tired earlier we’d sign out with some sappy message idk it would be a total wildcard whether the late night messages would be cute and sweet or straight up memes. i feel like a lot of the time it would be both, like starting off with some cute thing and ending it anticlimactically with a meme bc we’re dorks like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
did i ever tell u poly!bamlix is all i ever needed in life??? thank you for your time i tag @just-oneofthegays and @neo-urban annd @bqngtqn <3
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teachers-are-nerds · 7 years ago
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why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic
theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics
i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it
why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home
what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol
i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive
well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk
im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.
i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement
god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit
and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore
i hate that im a whore in general
like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year
the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today
everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e
oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end
idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever
idk
idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol
what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry
yells
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