#sorry this is rambling and incomprehensible i am

[normal-about-the-dca]

Folks tend to draw Sun as the comedy mask and Moon as the tragedy mask but... what if it's the inverse? The games never specify which is which.

I think Sun would see itself as a tragic hero, and Moon would see itself as a comedic hero. Everything is a joke, and even as they do horrible things they fully expect to triumph at the end of their story, whatever they think that ending would be. Sun sees itself as a hero that has fallen from grace, dragged down by the evil it has no control over. Sun tries so hard to do the right thing, however warped their idea of right and wrong may be. And yet Ruin is where they end up.

Sun is the tragedy mask. Moon is the comedy mask.

[madbard]

I just played through Slay the Princess for the first time, and… I cannot stop thinking about the Cage.

To be profoundly and finally severed from the illusion of your autonomy. To look on, from a prison of your own making, as your body acts out a legacy of violence against the body of the only other person who can or will come near you. To see their body perform that same violent dance. To be bound to this person, and in your limited state not to understand why. In that moment, as the silhouettes in the shadows act out the story of the princess and the slayer, to share a moment of peace with the one sent to kill you.

Intertwined. Diminished. Reductive, mutually destructive. Trapped in an infinite dance.

Beautiful.

To have been so determined you never had free will, never could have found another way. To realize you may have been wrong. To be trapped in a pattern, but unaware of what that pattern truly is.

Still, for that finite and watchful moment, not to be alone.

(Mild gore under cut.)

(Also this art from the game haunts me.)

[otome-dissection]

Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.

It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).

It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.

(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).

It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).

It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.

It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.

It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.

She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.

It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.

Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.

On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

[quatregats]

Had a conversation about being perceived as South Asian with my cousin and her kids and I'm still rotating it around in my head because like. Did everyone suddenly forget that I am also half white. Like did you forget that I do not have two South Asian parents

[oldworldghost]

Had an angsty thought about P falling in love with reader whose staying in the hotel and using that as a sort of motivation to continue to try and become human because lord above he wants nothing more than to actually feel for them, like really feel for them, and he's fairly sure that [for reasons he doesn't quite understand] that the "love" is mutual. But also reader has such unstable attachment issues that don't really manifest in a noticeable/harmful way until P actually confesses his feeling for them and reader just fucking. breaks his newly formed heart because holy shit they cannot do that. Readers so convinced they can't love him in a way that's good, or at all really, and P is so so confused and upset because reader has been acting like what he thought someone in love would act like. And P still feels such a strong disconnect between himself and humans still because even if he is human now he obviously still doesn't understand anything about them and-

[soup-sponge]

i love seeing all the extra flair lockwood throws into everything he does, and i love that it's so much more noticeable when he's in mortal danger. throwing flares, fighting ghosts, fighting people etc.

but i also love that you can still see that part of him when he's at home and safe, with just lucy and george (like him tossing the bottle opener onto the fridge).

i've seen a lot of people talk about how lockwood puts on a "mask" when he's out on jobs/with people he isn't close to, but i feel like its not a mask entirely. it's more like adjusting his settings. he's still being himself, it's just tuning up certain aspects of himself, if that makes sense.

we know about his penchant for accents and disguises, we know that he does those purely for the fun of it, and to me that means that he just. enjoys being a flashy, fancy little guy whenever he gets the chance.

not to get all. philosophical. but a lot of the time people think that difference/change = dishonesty, which is just. not true. people are multifaceted!! people are complex!! maybe he isn't trying to hide his true self, maybe his true self just includes more aspects than it seems !!

obviously this doesn't mean that he's not dialling down certain parts of him when he's out fighting, just means that each version of him is just as authentic as the others, even if they're only highlighted in certain situations.

[shewhoeatssand]

I love the “Kaneki Ken” 金木研 (カネキケン) so so much hes so wonderful, he’s got his own face and his very own mind, full of very special thoughts he thinks up and organises into a language so he can understand himself. Sometimes he doesn’t understand too well or the thoughts get disorganised but that’s okay!! He is very complex ,and and he has his own bones secretly inside him too and he has knees (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and elbows and everything else, and he keeps this whole awesome system running by consuming other individuals’ systems (!!!!!!!!!!!!he eats people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and he’s so so special he has organs that help him run things and bonus organs so he can make a second one of himself if he would like to (they have cells with only half his dna! so they can pair up with another set of dna and. it’s like salad).

Kaneki has Cells. He also has a cellphone, which is different, he uses it to call people. It has special information that is both very personal and unique to him but also very impersonal and not customised to him whatsoever. Examples of these is his IP address and his phone number. His phone number is just one way to contact this exciting person. There is also his email address, which is more tailored to him and likely is composed of letters and numbers Kaneki chose himself. His very own email address, complete with a password he would know. I wish I could know it just to know more about him, like it’s so cool that he has contact details.

Kaneki is also a bit of a member of society. He does all sorts of things, like go to the store and rent apartments. This implies that he has been to a rental agency and met with a landlord, and signed paperwork. I would love to see Kaneki’s signature. I want to see his handwriting. It’d be like a visual of his voice. Kaneki has even been to school, and he was so good at it they let him go to a big school (大学) to do even more school. He is a very academic man.Loves reading big thirst for knowledge

I enjoy being around Kaneki. He is a very gentle person. He is kind and tolerant of me. I am blessed to know him and see him. He is undeniably beautiful at every turn, and I feel he carries himself like he knows where to go, though he sometimes makes things up as he goes. I like the pictures he draws. I like how he walks. I like his clothes. I like his house. I like when he mumbles, saying that it isn’t a house. I like watching him concentrate on things. I like hearing him speak. I like watching him type. I like seeing him prepare his coffee.

I want to show Kaneki nice things, like red leaves and white azaleas and snail shells. Nothing he hasn’t seen before but I want to see him appreciate it. I want to show Kaneki places he’s never heard of, old taverns in distant towns and quiet beaches with weathered sea glass. Just to hear him say something about it.

I really like Kaneki. Here are some photos of him. He is a lovely young man.

[bloodcrownedking]

also your blog is cool btw. do you also have the issue of seeing cellbit art and thinking its JDV. there arent enough qsmp & mechs fans for me to ask this too bc it keeps happening to me

Thank you!!!! But yeah thats happened to me at least twice. I always go woah i love how people are mixing up their jdv designs only to look into his eyes to see that he looks fucking exhausted and traumatized in that Unique way that only a guy whos experienced horrors of the cucurucho variety can do. at which point i go 'oh! Cellbit!'

(sidenote i have now begun considering what would happen if you put cellbit and jonny in a room together. I think their personalities would cancel eachother out. Can also see cellbit devoting his life to Tracking the mechanisms through time and space to try and figure out wtf is the deal w these guys.)

[butchhansolo]

i need to get a friend who likes crosshair the same way i like crosshair which is to say they want to put him through a meat grinder

[misery-has-no-company-now]

(Horribly written rant ahead, ignore me over here if you want to)

Don't you just love it when your brother complains of pain in his leg once and he gets taken to the hospital for a full health check-up, meanwhile you wake up every day choosing whether to roll out of bed or push yourself up first based on which will hurt less because your entire body is always paining all the time but the two times you've complained of it you get yelled at for seeking attention alongside threats of being shown what actual pain is and whenever you appear to look even the slightest bit in pain with a grimace on your face you get told how it's all your fault, your fault, your fault, and nobody else's; even though you never blamed anyone for it and one of the few friends that you have told you that their parent with a medical background believes it's chronic, and your friends' parents believe you more than your own even when you've been walking on shards of broken glass your whole life just to ensure your parents are happy with you - even if they're never proud - and to make sure that you never give them an actual reason not to trust you and yet despite all that you're never believed when you talk about your pain, you're never the receiver of so much as the scrape of an understanding look, and you're never told anything except how it's all in your head, how it's because of you and your actions alone; and your problems are always cast aside with the simplest of comments of how it's because you don't drink enough water (but you're trying to quench your never ending thirst all the time, and they shout if they see you 'wasting' water by drinking a lot of it), don't eat enough (but otherwise it's that you eat too much and they hate to see you anywhere near the kitchen), don't sleep enough (but how can you possibly sleep in such pain?), don't exercise enough (but how can you, when it hurts so much that even the act of blinking feels like it will hurt every bone and muscle in your body?) and it's always you never doing enough, you never being enough, you never being satisfied with the life you live, you never being content with what you have, you being greedy and selfish and mean and attention-seeking and troublesome and burdening when all you want is for the pain in your body to go away?

I'm not hating on the fact that they were concerned for my brother over here, but I just wish that they won't make it so obvious that they didn't want me there. I thought they were finally happy with my existence once they stopped telling me that I was just an accident that upturned their lives unnecessarily and was a burden to deal with, instead just forgetting that I was even there, but looks like it turns out that they just found different ways of telling me know that, I guess.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

👀👀👀!!!!!!

cheating bc you sent me 3 eyeballs so im gonna give u 3 different answers 😌 :::

the DSMP Lost Boys AU. GOD i was on some shit when i was thinking abt that. it was literally so perfect. i still have the other half of the references buried somewhere deep in my wip folder but i just. never finished it. i was probably never gonna write an actual fic for it but god did i want to do more screenshot redraws . it was so perfect. i still think abt it sometimes when i watch lost boys like. damn .... sam is so tommy coded . i love you annoying little brothers

ANOTHER dsmp one: vengeful spirit. god. fuck . where do i even start. vengeful spirit was my baby i cared about it so much. it was my ghostbur-centric character study fic series where after cwilbur was revived, ghostbur fought his way out of limbo kicking and screaming and then they had to deal with the consequences of both existing in the living world at the same time. very heart player core. something something you hate yourself so much but now there are two of you and youre different people but also youre the same guy and you hate that your brother trusts the dead fish eyes version of you more than the living breathing one. aka ghostbur gets to be angry because i really just wanted to see him snap and punch something. unfortunately the first fic totally flopped and i had nobody to bounce ideas off of so i was the only person in the world to care about vengeful spirit. i had like 12 oneshots planned out and they were each titled with song lyrics from a song in the playlist (which still exists btw) and i made a layout and everything. A LAYOUT. i never outline things dude thats how u KNOW i went hard for this one. another factor in its death tho is i started writing it like.. right after the cwilbur revival when there was a huge lull in lore streams and i was trying to fill in the blanks. but because i am a slow writer eventually canon surpassed me and i was like "hm this is too divergent now and since i am the only one who is going to read this it will simply live in my brain forever" . also i think my time for writing dsmp is way past me now. sad! oh well theres other fandoms.

third one is NOT dsmp related but it IS general minecraft related. fuck dude i have so many ideas about minecraft worldbuilding. its such a perfect game to write about. i have so many minecraft ocs that have super complex lore that will probably never see the light of day bc im like. how the hell do i convey this information without actually showing people my minecraft world. the intricacies. there are so many. i cannot play this game normally i have to make a story every single time. EVEN WHEN im not actually setting out to make a story. even when im just like "hm yeah this is gonna be a casual world im not gonna take it too seriously" and then suddenly ive rebuilt an entire village to protect it from raids and all the villagers have names and im attached. sigh. i think about minecraft religion and also the magic system and how the world works and how mobs interact with each other and . man . theres so much. does anyone want to play miencraft with me i prommy i wont go insane on you

[potatoeofwisdom]

Potatooo tumblrs being a hoe and acting like your @s not reaalllll

It’s been years but I finally have art for you!!

They have more lore on my original post but here!!!

Sorry about that!! I think I’ve been shadowbanned or something, I’m not sure how to fix it…

AAAAAA THEYRE SO CUTE!! POKÉMON!!! AHDHFNGNGN LOOKIT HIM!! Of course he’d befriend a mimiku and phantump- it’s literally in the name for the second one- perfect choices for him 100%

HIS EXPRESSIONSSS!! And beans- AUGHHFBFKFKG obsessed with them

I’m glad your okay!! You just made my day for me man, I was having a tough one then i saw you in my inbox and audibly gasped you have no idea

[soldier--poet--queen]

CAPCOM. BABYGIRL. LOOK ME IN THE EYES. I KNOW THIS ISNT REAL BUT PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU GIVE US SOME SCRAPS YOUR CHILDREN ARE STARVING

[potato-lord-but-not]

Potato I’m coming into your asks with my head in my hands but I have to ask: how the HELL do you draw people kissing, you’ve gotten it down in such a ‘satisfying’ way I need to know your secrets

okay this is probably going to be really incomprehensible but I am TRYING my BEST

first, we must implement the tilt method. you want your faces to be tilting in opposite directions as to make room for the kiss. the heads tend to make a heart shape if you’re normal and draw the heads completely (oops). And the lips create a zig zag type shape. the person tilting towards us (right figure) having their nose and top lip visible, and the person tilting away (left figure) has just their bottom lip and chin visible.

and you can use this for two people being close, just about to kiss. although you don’t have to tilt em as far since they have more leeway, but the principle is still there

you can play around with this tho, and I have a few different ways of drawing a kiss to portray different things-

1 is more puckered, a light playful kiss that may not last long

2 has the mouths create an O shape, giving an air of a breathy slightly desperate kiss. it gives the impression that the kiss isn’t the focus, these two are more focused on what their hands are doing, how close they are, soaking in the feeling of being intimate ect etc.

3 is wider, closer, there could be some tongue action going on. They miss eachother and they want to smash their faces together as humanly possible

You can also use these when only one person is giving the kiss !!

PHASE TWO REAL WORLD EXAMPLES because one thing that aids in a good kiss is the BODY LANGUAGE. it gives the kiss more life and feeling, the above examples even have some shoulder action to further the vibe. Anyway. Exhibit A

a subtle tilt, but that works in favor of creating a more relaxed feel. their kiss is a mix between 2 n 3, wide and open, messy and passionate. they’re definitely taking their time.

this one’s a body language one !! just the kiss alone has much less going for it compared to the way they’re tangled together. Ford (right) is more relaxed, more confident. And Arthur (left) is a bit more weary but letting Ford take the lead. Arthur has his lips puckered more, while Ford’s are more relaxed and a bit more open (although it’s very subtle)

This one is mainly kiss with body language as an aid. Arthur’s (right) head is tilted up instead of to the side, leaving Oscar (left) to pick whichever direction. The kiss is mainly 3, with a hint of 2 to communicate the more desperate and eager vibe. This is also paired with the subtle head tilt away from eachother and solid position they’re in. This creates a relaxed and content feel, like they started off hungry but ultimately don’t want to take it any further.

Subtle head tilt, a kiss between 1 n 2, and idle bodies make for a relaxed, domestic and intimate feeling. they’re sharing a kiss that was intended to be quick, but they lingered a few seconds too long and now they’ll stay there for a good 15 minutes. hands resting on the other, lips gently touching, words exchanged between moments of no contact.

GOD SORRY ANYWAY I spent way too long rambling about my podcast men kissing I hope this was insightful I’ll take my leave

[takethistoyourstardust]

i love a good “what the hell is patrick singing his enunciation is wack” joke as much as the next person but i’m starting to suspect people are fucking lying about not being able to understand him on smfs.

[thevoiceofdesertbluffs]

how 2 get enrichment free google