#sorry this is insane and long and yes this is all from memory literally did not research any of this because its burned in my brain forever

[ahappydnp]

what was the 'week in march' thing 8 years ago?

omg peak phandom theories vs reality truly adsfsgjk

march 14th 2017- dan says he's had a challenging week and said to remind him to tell us about "that week in march" in 5 months (29:21)

march 21st 2017- the infamous liveshow where dan seemed off/got a little too personal (we now know he was going through rough withdrawals from his antidepressants) he says he's been irrationally sleepy and made a face when he says "well i do know why" (54:05)

august 8th 2017- chat says talk about the week in march (as it had been five months) and dan says to wait another 2 months (4:28)

october 10th 2017- world mental health day, the day before dan posted "daniel and depression". someone in the chat asks about that week in march and dan says he'll be able to explain it more tomorrow (22:59)

october 11th 2017- dan posts daniel and depression

october 17th 2017- dan says "that week in march" was when he forgot to renew his antidepressants and just decided to stop them altogether by himself and was really really sick for a week (9:34)

january 14th 2018- "that week in march" gets a shoutout in the top dan memes of 2017 because of all the phandom theories that got built up (3:35) except he tells you you'll have to wait until further in the video to find out so you can learn some patience. he reveals it at (21:21)

[nikkalick]

Veilguard Spoilers below the cut. About the Blight, the current state of Southern Thedas, and the Veil…I’ve never made a rant like this so bear with my ramblings, please

I’ve seen so many people say, “We should’ve been able to tear down the Veil” and I feel like I’m going insane every time I see that take like…

MAMA A BLIGHT IS BEHIND IT??!

You think what happened to Southern Thedas was bad this game? You have no idea what’s in store for you if you open up the fucking Veil and let that trickle of Blight become a flood.

Point of Order just to set the scene with how bad the literal Blight is

“They (the writers/devs/Bioware/EA) nuked Southern Thedas so they don’t have to deal with the lore the past content set up there going forward”

Maybe. But also the only other Blight we’ve seen in game was the Fifth Blight. By all accounts a statistical anomaly in how it acted when compared to Blights 1-4. I don’t wanna delve too deep into this because it is so not the point I’m trying to make with this post, but the Architect very much had a hand in waking up Blight numero 5 and very likely impacted it in a way that made it less volatile. Past Blights saw Darkspawn hitting big populations hard and fast. The 5th started slow, in the wilds, at Ostagar. Away from large amounts of people. It is mentioned in DA:O that this Blight “feels different”.

The Blight we see in Veilguard is more in line with the Blights that came before the 5th. Something something the Inquisitor writing “worse than we have seen in living memory” because the only living memory anyone has of a Blight was the one from 20 years ago. Which was bad, but not as bad as they usually are. Veilguard’s is bad the way Blights are meant to be (if not worse because, ya know, the Gods), and it was still ONLY A TRICKLE OF WHAT THE BLIGHT IS BEHIND THE VEIL. If the full force of the Blight escapes the prison/the Fade that’s it. Goodnight to everyone in this world both within and without all of Thedas.

Moving on.

“Solas can move the Blight into the new prison that was meant for the Gods and then tear down the Veil. That was his plan.”

Sorry, did we play the same game? We know what the Blight is now. It’s the last remnants of the Titans. Twisted, broken, angry, nightmarish. It’s all that’s left. All that’s left are the plagued dreams of ancient beings that are so devastated because of what Mythal, Solas, and the rest of the Evanuris did to them with the very dagger we now hold.

I want to take a moment to address that what I’m about to say is said as someone who’s been trapped in Solavellen hell for years. I love Solas and his character, and I believe that yes, he had a plan that would have both moved (or killed) the remaining Evanuris and the Blight to a new prison while simultaneously tearing down the Fade. But if you, like me, wanted to redeem this idiot despite everything, then pray tell how does Solas locking up the Blight offer him said redemption?

How does locking away the only thing that remains of the Titans into a prison and throwing away the key redeem him? The Evanuris fucked up when using the Titan’s, idk…life blood? To take form. Solas fucked up when he, upon Mythal’s behest, created a weapon that sundered the Titan’s (and the Dwarves as whole) from their magic, from their dreams, from their very being. And they did it because they thought they had a right to. They put themselves above the dwarves and as a result they caused the Blight. And then they hid the Blight away. Yes, they hid it away to keep people safe, and yes, locking it and the Evanuris away when they tried to use what was essentially a bio weapon to maintain their position of power was a call that kept people safe for a long time. But the Veil was a consequence of that call. And while the Blight was trapped in its prison, behind the Veil, it got angrier and angrier with every passing generation.

Removing the Veil and shoving it into yet another prison will not only piss it off even more, but it doesn’t allow for Solas to actually atone for the part he played in its creation and the part he played in destroying what the dwarves used to have. He has to uphold the current prison. He has to go to it to try to soothe it. To heal it as best he can. Locking it away elsewhere, and then trying to offer it salvation after the fact? It’s not gonna cut it.

He has to go to the Black City, he has to face what he did, and he has to put aside his favorable bias towards giving the Elves “back what they lost” (a world current day Elves don’t remember and have never known) to instead put the safety and wellbeing of every being in the current world at a higher priority. That’s part of his redemption arc by the way; learning to value the lives of the people that walk this new world he had a hand in creating. Because when he wakes up before the start of DA:I he doesn’t value anyone. Shit, when Felassan declines to help him destroy the Veil and suggests he learns to appreciate the world that has been in place for centuries, Solas kills him for it.

All that said, he can’t fully put things right. He can’t reconnect the Blight with the dormant remains of the Titans. Because, as the game tells us, we’d then be faced with a bunch of Titans the size of mountains rampaging, rightfully so, because of the wrongs that were committed against them. But Solas can put in the work to find a way to ease its agony. And maybe, if given the time and the patience, one day the Veil could come down because the Blight will have had the opportunity and been given the help it needed to actually heal from the trauma that created it. And maybe taking the time to do that will have, in some small way, allowed him to make up for the shitty hand he played in destroying the Dwarves. A race he (finally) sees as his equal. Because that’s a big part of his fucking redemption arc.

[rory-multifandom-mess]

Headcanons about Khan?

I just think he's neat-

OH BOY DO I HAVE SO MANY FOR YOU. I'm so glad you asked me about one of the characters I'm genuinely so autism about you have NO IDEA

Khan Doorman Headcanons

Bro does not sleep

Used to be more of a fighter before Nori’s death, hense his knowledge of what to do immediately after J blew up the landing pod (this actually has evidence to back it up now let’s gooo)

His obsession with doors is a coping mechanism

The sort of "confidence" he shows around other worker drones is a front he puts up. The worker drones see him as an idol since he's the guy who led them to safety; he can't show weakness

He loves Uzi a lot actually, he's just really shit at showing it

That "how to parent" guide is actually really helpful

Rarely listens to music, but when he does, it's either blues or rock and there is no in between

His psyche is so fucked up and traumatized that he has a permanent stress line under either eye (And, as of episode 7, his stress has doubled tenfold due to his missing daughter and everything with the Dissassembly Drones that he has two stress lines under each eye)

Cannot flirt worth his life, he has no idea how or why Nori fell in love with him but he's glad she did. Also yes, she did most of the flirting, and yes, he would absolutely melt. I'm not immune to this representation of their relationship and you aren't either

Originally kept all of Nori's kooky crazy insane stuff to cling to the memory of her, but recently realized she was right about everything going on and looked at them again to see if there was further instructions on what to do against whatever threats were coming. He just wishes he could apologize for not believing her.

Probably has PTSD

Was absolutely stressing and panicking when Uzi dissapeared, because the last time he saw her she was with N and V and they were leaving the Doorman hab in a rush after Doll came by and literally threw him into a wall, and she also left in a rush, and he remembers her from prom and the way she and Uzi fought and

Probably has some scars from the past. Nori liked to trace them with the tips of her fingers

He added the wrinkles on his forehead because he thought it would make him more intimidating

He and Ron are old friends and one of the only drones he'll open up to

After Nori's death - and after he'd completed the doors to keep them safe - he retreated into his hab for a solid 2 months and got Ron to babysit Uzi, who was still just a pill baby

He was also friends with Doll's parents and got along with them well, though it was rocky with Yeva at first since she was slightly protective over Nori

When Nori died, he relied on Yeva and Misha and they would grieve together (i headcanon that Nori and Yeva are sisters.) And when those two died? ...Yeah, you can imagine he wasn't okay.

After Yeva and Misha's deaths came another solid month of Khan retreating into his room, which only made his neglect toward Uzi worse

Usually really smart. He acts stupid on purpose as a coping mechanism. And it also kind of has to do with the, y'know. Sleep deprivation

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY!! Also sorry a lot of these are Khori, I think about them a lot

[mrsmiagreer]

EA SPOILERS

BRACHIUM 🥺🥺🥺🥺

IS HE OKAY?????

Ik he’s so tired :(

“I am a failure” No baby no

“But i know you hear me”

This is literally so sad i’m crumpling

IS HE CRYING

“Please Mother, Please Release Me” BAWLING

IS HE BEING FREED?!

HE WILL NOT FAIL ‼️‼️‼️‼️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

This is crazy cinematic

SUNSHINE IS SAVED

WHY IS AARONS VOICE SO DEEP😭😭😭

I literally almost didn’t know who he was

Oh Smartass is here too

Awe brother hug moment

YAYYYYYYY SUNSHINE IS SAFE

“I’m so sorry” 🥺

All I can imagine is Elliott and that damn comfort beanie that we all imagine he has on💀

BRACHIUM AND AARON MEET ?!

WHY IS AARONS VOICE SO DEEP OMG😭😭

It’s throwing me off like crazy who tf is that?! ERIN???

BLAKE MENTION BLAKE MENTION

I know what he did is bad but DADDY I LOVE HIM

Is he gonna die ☹️

“you? specifically?” LMAOO WHY DOESNT AARON BELIEVE HIM?!

I’m sorry but his story is so long :\

“Good. Give them back their fucking lives”😭

AARON CALM DOWN

Memory modification 😲

“I just got my brother back”

So he’s gonna change the circumstances of their memories not wipe them completely

Okay aaron and brachium going back and forth like this —

Omg aaron is literally gonna sit here and convince them that their trauma is worth keeping😭

I get it’s the right thing to do morally but like wtf if i wanna forget i will. if i don’t wanna have nightmares and have to go to therapy from being kidnapped and tortured for days then i will

IS THIS A VOTE ?!

Elliott’s voice is so cute and innocent

“PARTNER IS AN OVERSTATEMENT” LMFAO WHAT

YOURE TELLING ME THEYRE NOT EVEN DATING

“You want my body, you want my cooperation, then you let me have this. you let me have them”

I’m obsessed with Blake omg

“We will try this” YES YES YES OMG NEW BLAKE AND BESTIE CONTENT

“Hey!” OMG

IM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

HE IS SO CUTE AND NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO THEM FUCK

He’s like sweating and almost crying omgggg

YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IM GOING CRAZY

“We agreed to never talk about because you said if we did that you couldn’t have me in your life if that was something we talked about”

OMG HIM BEING A SEER

THIS LORE IS CRAZY

SO THEY DO KNOW HE’S A SEER

his stuttering 🥹🫶🏽

“I have to say this and i need you to listen to me when i say it…okay?”

“NO‼️” OMG IT SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME

He’s yelling at me guys i’m scared he’s yelling

THAT NIGHT OMG

MORE LORE THE LORE DUMP IS CRAZY

His aggression is halfway turning me on and halfway scaring me

Omg i’m about to start crying

i feel his pain so much

“I never stopped loving you” UGHH BLAKE

“You’re gonna die !”

OMG IM SCARED

He sounds on the verge of a psychotic break. Not even the verge. Just the psychotic break

“I know how crazy this sounds, I know how crazy I look”

Babes….its bad. Real bad

“Don’t speak THROUGH me” OMG THIS IS TERRIFYING

OMG WOW THIS IS INSANE THEYRE JUST SHOWING ALL OF HIS PAST TO THEM LIKE A DAMN TV SERIES

this is crazy

“That’s why I did everything”

Blake i’m so in love with you

If they kill Bestie anyway i’m literally gonna cry

The silence in between his sentences are so deafening

OMG THEYRE KISSING YES YES YES YES YES

WHAT DID THEY JUST SAY?!

“you can keep this deluded pet”

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME LMAOOO

OMG YESSSS BLAKE GETS TO KEEP BESTIE

IM LITERALLY SHAKING‼️‼️‼️‼️

The fuck Aaron just grew up like another 10 years?!

“You tell him baby” ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

If i was smartass at this table id literally say “ewwwwww they’re kissing !”

WAIT WAS ALL OF THAT TO SHOW THAT BRACHIUM WENT THROUGH WITH THE MODIFICATIONS?!?!?!

SCORPIUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

OMG THEY DONT REMEMBER ANY OF IT

“I’m coming too” YUHHH DEMONS TEAM UP

You guys. You don’t understand how happy i am right now. All of my begs and pleads have been answered to. I just wanted to know more about Blake and Bestie and I got an amazing amount of Lore. I’m literally gonna start crying

[wylanslcve]

Something I don't see anyone speak about (if you have and I just haven't seen it... I'm sorry :( ) is how Wylan not only reclaims his identity by the duology's conclusion, but he also reclaims Marya's. I feel like we as a fandom overlook just how much J*n put Marya through in an attempt to erase Wylan from the public memory: he had her declared insane as a grounds for divorce and institutionalised her, leaving her "abandoned along with her defective child" in order to "forever rid himself of any evidence that Wylan had existed". This transcended to J*n not allowing Wylan to grieve his mother's 'death' because, as he put it, "it didn’t pay to dwell on the past" - and Wylan tells Jesper that J*n never brought Marya up after breaking the news of her finality to his son, confessing "we just stopped talking about her".

What we also need to remember is that the Van Eck mansion "had belonged to Wylan’s mother’s family for generations before Van Eck had ever set foot through the door". (Edit: I didn't mean to write that the mansion belonged to the Hendriks - it was part of the property under the Van Eck name. Sorry about that!) Just like how J*n separated Wylan from his mother, he simultaneously took so much from Marya - first her home, then her name, her fortune, her own child. This is why Marya was admitted as Marya Hendriks, not Marya Van Eck: this is J*n quite literally stripping her of her name to permanently erase her from the public memory. The nurse addresses Marya as "Miss Hendriks", to which Marya mutters "Van Eck" in response, because "she was not Marya Hendriks, she was Marya Van Eck, a wife and mother stripped of her name and her fortune." So why is it that Wylan says, "I am Marya Hendriks' son" if Marya Hendriks is the woman who's left after Marya Van Eck had her name and her life taken away from her? Because this is Wylan reclaiming his mother's identity.

If we examine the moment Wylan visits his mother at Saint Hilde, Marya's first words to him are "did you come for my money? I don’t have any money" to which Wylan replies that he doesn't have any money either. The money neither of them have comes to signify the lack of autonomy they have over their identities, which have spent so long confined by J*n's contempt as he gradually works towards making them vanish entirely. J*n tried desperately to erase Marya's memory as a means of gradually erasing Wylan's - however, Wylan is the only one who keeps his mother's memory alive, just like how Marya keeps her son's alive. Upon arriving in the Barrel, Wylan detaches himself from his father's name and, instead, uses his mother's maiden name. Yes, he's doing it to not draw attention to himself (because what would the child of one of the richest men in Ketterdam be doing in a place like the Barrel?), but he's also preserving Marya's memory, clinging to it like a lifeline without even realising it. In a way, it's saving him.

Before I go on any further, I'm taking a brief detour to discuss the transition in Wylan's motivations upon discovering what really happened to his mother (it's relevant, I promise). Wylan completely breaking down when he realises that his father is indeed evil is such a pivotal moment that marks a major transition in his motivations. Jesper comforts Wylan during his breakdown, assuring him that "Kaz is going to tear your father’s damn life apart" - a sentiment that "felt like cool water cascading over the hot, shameful feeling of helplessness he’d [Wylan] been carrying with him for so long". His continued contribution to the Dregs’ mission is no longer about making the money to “get out of town and never speak the name Van Eck again” - now, he's "here for her". Now, it's about punishing his father, saving Marya and returning all J*n took from her: “what am I doing here? But he knew the answer. Only he could see his father punished for what he’d done. Only he could see his mother free.” He realises that J*n's life falling apart means that, with his money, "he could take his mother from this place. They could go somewhere warm. He could put her in front of a piano, get her to play, take her somewhere full of bright colors and beautiful sounds. They could go to Novyi Zem. They could go anywhere." He could save her, liberate her from the confines of J*n's contempt - and only he can do it, because who else would?

Meanwhile, Marya clings to the memories of her child even though J*n took him away from her. While institutionalised, Marya would paint - and in her paintings, "repeated again and again, was the face of a little boy with ruddy curls and bright blue eyes". We know that J*n wanted Wylan to disappear "the way he’d made Wylan’s mother disappear" - what we don't know, however, is what J*n told Marya during the time she was institutionalised. Did he visit her after sending Wylan away, supposedly to study music in Belendt, to tell her that Wylan is dead? Did he ever visit her before then and tell her that her son is dead to expunge his memory from Marya? We can only speculate - but what we do know is that, regardless of whether or not she thinks he's dead, Marya is grieving the loss of her child.

Something that Wylan fears if the Dregs’ mission is unsuccessful is that he’s “going to die and there will be no one to help her. No one to even remember Marya Hendriks” - and the same could be said about Marya’s feelings of responsibility for preserving the spirit of her child. Amidst her grief is the strive to save him and his memory, because she’s really the only one who’s willing to remember him. At the asylum, her paintings are thrown out “every six months” because “there just isn’t enough space for them” - but that doesn’t stop her from continuing to paint the face of her child and, thus, remembering him, making sure he doesn't disappear. Wylan confesses to Jesper that his parents “fought all the time, sometimes about me”, revealing how Marya has always fought for Wylan - and her being institutionalised, having her paintings thrown out every so often, won’t put an end to her fighting for him. She's hellbent on ensuring he doesn't vanish, because there’s no one else who would. (Think of this in relation to the meaning behind “no mourners, no funerals” - if Wylan disappeared, “no one would come looking”, as is the case with the rest of the Crows.)

Now, let's examine how, by the end of the duology, Wylan not only liberates himself from the pain caused by his father's wrongdoings, but also saves his mother. He'd "chosen to use a portion of his newfound wealth to restore his home", exemplifying how inheriting his father's fortune represents him reclaiming his identity from the pain and abuse J*n's contempt inflicted upon him. However, I mentioned earlier that the Van Eck mansion didn't actually belong to the Van Ecks in the first place - it belonged to the Hendriks. (Edit: again, not the mansion, but part of the property under the Van Eck name.) Thus, Wylan's position by the end of Crooked Kingdom also comes to represent him reclaiming his mother's identity as he returns everything J*n took from her. By "restor[ing] his home", he's also restoring Marya's.

[disgruntled-screaming]

I Wanna Talk About My YuGiOh Project

Hey, hi, hello again! Instead of something Voltron related, I wanted to try and talk about something different. Going to put a read break, since this is going to be a very long post. I have no idea if there's a character limit, but I'll find out today with this post.

Fates Converge is my YuGiOh project that has been in production stages since 2011. Yes. Over ten years. I have a problem. During that time, I never learned how to make comics, but I've been studying.

The amount of research I have done for this project on various topics is insane. INCLUDING Ancient Egypt. The amount of fans that have unknowingly helped me is INSANE. YuGiOh fans with a passion for Ancient History are my saviors.

For those interested, Fates Converge is a canon compliant, possibly canon divergent, story that involves ocs and canon characters interacting. There's me, back on my bullshit again. If there's a story for a fandom I'm working on, there will be OCs involved. I am sorry.

Unlike my typical projects, however, there will be some other ships involved. Romance is not the main plot, but it is a subplot that more acts in the background. Basically if a scene happens to have romantic chemistry, only the characters involved will think about it. I wanted to try my hand at a slow burn-esque story. The pairings that I know will be 100% involved are the following: Peachshipping, YamiYugi/AtemxKutso (OC), JoeyxKatsu (OC), RyouxShanna (Friend's OC). I don't want them to be paired off once the ending comes, I still shiver at the end of Digimon 02 (why did it end like that). Hell, one pairing will literally be official in the middle of the plot. I shit you not.

I do GENUINELY want to explore the interpersonal relationships between the characters. I will jump DEEP into headcanon territory with this one, since I do love these characters deeply. As much as YuGiOh is about card games, which wasn't the original intention when you read the start of the manga, I pay more attention to the characters since it's them that got me to stay with the show. I will try my absolute hardest to implement the card game into the story. I have been working on a few plots that involve the Duel Monsters game and it's honestly hard since I'm more of a character writer above all else. For some reason, my mind wants two OCs to have some sort of connection to the God Cards just how Yugi has a connection to Ra. That's still in the planning stages.

I will warn everyone that this project is also going to be a bit dark compared to other stuff I make. I know I'm not very well known on this platform, but I assure you if you find some of my friends they will vouch that my work is not as dark as this piece of work. This project will involve some topics that will be very triggering, and I have a lot of sources of these topics. Some also are from my experiences, which are not fun. That being said, I will not be graphic with the depictions of certain topics. I already thought of a way to tell a traumatizing core memory of a certain character without any details needed.

There's an idea I have of fixing up the DOMA arc. As beloved as this arc is, I can't in good faith say that it was well written. I have some ideas floating around, but like with my Voltron fic, I'm still planning chapter 1. That will be a topic of discussion when we get there.

That's basically all I have to say at the moment, maybe I'll do a little journalling series for this project. Only time will tell. Stay safe everyone!

[mercymermaid]

oh boy shadows of agony was a wild wild ride

here’s my insanely long live reaction

warning: spoilers

OKAY SHADOWS OF AGONY

SAW THE COMMENTS

ONLY PNE COMMENT

BUT MARK CAMEOOO

APAPRENTLY

afton sweetie i think the guy is dead

oh! i see!

ykw won’t judge everyone needs a helping hand sometimes

oh a bomb

down goes freddy fazbear’s

YEAHHH MARK ‼️

someone get bonnie his sprinkles

what is he doing 💀

is he gonna sing some emo song about “wow look at what i’ve become goddamn i hate life ilove life” because that’s what this scene is looking like

IS HE SLICING OFF HIS OWN HANDS?

HUH

HELLO

AGONY YEAH VERY

oh yeah no explanation thanks

IS THAT NATEWANTSTOBATTLE 😱

BRO THEY GOT THE WHOLE GANG UP IN HEREEEE

YEAH NATEEEE

chew on that pizza hut

and then he drops it

foxy you dumb bitch where are you going

OH HE DID SLICE OFF HIS OWN HANDS

WTF 💀

WHY

GOOD LORD WHY

I WISH WE HAD THE EMO SONG INSTEAD

how are you gonna edit out the messy parts without hands

also that is not matpat’s voice hello

WAIT DID THEY LET BABY OUT

WOOHOOOO

YEAHHH BABY BOSS FIGHT

wait

hold on

hold on

so if

in the fnaf musical

which comes after this whole fucking mess

he has hands

whose hands is he using

WAIT.

im thinking too hard about this

he either stole the inspector’s hands and connected them to his own, so when he’s taken in for interrogation if anything, his fingerprints are different than the ones that killed the inspector

but he’s wearing gloves??

did he get prosthetics later on or did they just not plan ahead

did he get so emo he decided to take his own hands

good lord

oh that is not matpat’s voice 💀

“who left all this garbage in my office?” glitchtrap: 🧍

“two miserable monsters” kys glitchtrap

“what are you?!” funny that both times he’s yelled this phrase (og musical and agony) he’s being assaulted by a psycho rabbit

WHY IS GLITCHTRAP KILLING AFTON HELPPP

WHAT DID BRO DO TO YOU HE LITERALLY MADE YOU

“you’re not william afton”

huh

glitchtrap is your memory ass

or have we been trolled this entire fucking time

hollddddddd onnnnnnn

YEAH GO BABY

how is bro gonna use a chainsaw while lacking hands

HE’S SO FUCKING HILARIOUSLY PATHETIC HELPPPPPPPPPPP

this is why we don’t cut off our hands chat 🥰

the tech’s face of :O right before being whacked is golden

“he has too much to hide” so this IS william afton?

what if this is michael afton

and all this time michael just went “oh yeah killing people? family business, dream career”

but

elizabeth

she’s william’s niece

and called him william in web of lies

and everyone else calls him william afton

did william die and michael coincidentally looked enough like him to take his identity?

NO MORE CRYING ONLY CHAOS

GOOOO SWEETIEEEEE

the glowing eyes still have me gagged

are we sure we wanna do this ☝️🤓

im sorry im being mean

bring back non voiced-over scenes

bb being used as bait :(

YEAH GO LIZZIE

can’t wait to see the blooper reel for this tbh

oh sorry *lizzY

oh and then not-voiced-over?

pick a type random encounters please

vanny!

*vanne!

magic scissors and chair is crazy

INVISIBLE VANNYYYY

“everyone is my enemy” okay edgelord

okay so vanny does not like glitchtrap

who would’ve thunk it

“escaped?!? ?!?” web of lies: 👁️👄👁️

therapytrap

HELPPPP SHE’S SO GUILTY

OHHH

or she doesn’t remember a thing from web of lies somehow

the actor change doesn’t symbolize a new character bc she escaped through the window

so she’s quoting afton as a cute little callback orrrrr they both know lizzy let him escape (in that case vanny would be beating her ass nvm)

probably a callback

okay so i’m just dumb

yeah she regrets the entirety of web of lies

lizzy is an icon

YESS GIRLBOSS VANNY ILYYYYYYY

“not if i get into his head” YES EAT EAT EAT OUGHHHHJJJ YESSIRRRRR

or

is she manipulating lizzy

bc we all saw what happened in monster in your head

unless that was vanny being manipulated by glitchtrap and now she’s repaying the favor

why is this so fnaf lore core

what is he pondering so heavily about

she doesn’t even care that she killed eggs 😭 she’s here for her silly robots

i love how animated and expressive glitchtrap is

is this all a joke to you

icon

“fear is like a hammer. with a hammer and a couple nails, you can build an empire, or pry away the pieces that just won’t fit. the nails don’t know what they’re making, whether it’s good or bad, they only know the weight of the hammer.”

okay i hate to say it but that line ate

“i’m a results-oriented kind of guy” oh fuck off

a twisted bear monster

bear?

as in afton’s suit?

toxic grudge with the humans

bro who did what to you glitchtrap

glitch maybe you were entrapped bc your shitty therapy made things worse idk tho

NO VANNNYYYY

also SONGGG TIMEEEE

VAMMY GLOTCHTRAP DUETTTTT

OHHHH THIS SONG SLAPSSSS

BUNNY BOSS FIGJT

OUGHHHHHHJHH THIS SOMG GOES HARDDDDDD

NO VANNY

okay op

famous last words glitchtrap

NO

VANNY

DID HE JUST FUCKING KILL HER

ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE

BTDKUGDIUOGEROHITEBNOL

lizzy get his ass please

DAMN

THAT IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER

okay that’s an interesting installment

how do i feel about that

[parkitaco]

can I ask for details abt this amnesia fic that once has so much promise? 👀

also fun fact I too have an amnesia fic that once held so much promise but is now functionally abandoned until further notice. hive mind moment

hello elli YES omg idk what it is apparently amnesia fics are just that fucking difficult. or smth. idk but!! yes i will share everything that is still in my brain involving this fic (under the cut tho i'm abt to infodump so hard)

this idea was originally planted by an anon who left a very cute little amnesia prompt in my inbox (anon if you're out there i'm so sorry i swearrr). i've since deviated from the og prompt which was fairly lighthearted (amnesia will sees mike hovering over him obsessively and assumes he's his bf. and mike short circuits. which was an excellent idea my brain just wouldn't accept it) and went for angst bc well. i'm like that. and basically my idea was just that will wakes up in mike's room very recently post-apocalypse (the wheeler's house has been a base in the apocalypse and mike offered his room bc of course he did), having been in a coma for a few months. the idea behind it was that vecna / the hive mind tried to possess him again, but this time will was strong enough to fight back, and though he couldn't fight *through* the possession he was at least able to kind of incapacitate himself so that he couldn't be used to hurt his friends (yay angst!!). while he was asleep the others managed to stop vecna / kill the UD, hence freeing will from possession. yay he's awake!! unfortunately, since he was in the coma for so long, the virus ate away parts of his consciousness, namely his memories.

basically i took s2 and birthdaygate and made it bigger and more dramatic and worse. yay parker!!

the way i was planning on having will's memories come back is very slowly and methodically (i.e. it takes him a while to remember stuff but once he does it pretty much sticks), mainly through him being reminded of them through sensory recognition or people sharing stuff - he also has vague feelings attached to people, and can definitely recognize when a face belongs to someone important to him (cough cough mike wheeler) but he doesn't remember names or details and this drives him INSANE.

the bylerification of this would be mike, post-apocalypse and broken up with el and having had some Very Important Realizations, frantically fumbling trying to give will love confessions and apologies when will literally doesn't remember any of their fights. so not only does mike have to apologize for everything, he also has to make will relive it first, and Then hope that will doesn't reject him. (hehe.) this sucks for him, but yada yada it all works out and they make out sloppy. the end

i abandoned this fic for a lot of reasons, many of which i no longer remember, but the main ones were a., that is a lot of backstory for a story that ultimately doesn't have much plot beyond Mike Is Stressed And Will Is Confused, and b., at the time i was kind of burnt out on writing/reading apocalypse stuff, and c., i wasn't a big fan of the concept of everyone saving the world with will still incapacitated bc i know my boy is more of a key character than that!!! (this is small and ik people could get over it for This One Fic but it Really Bothered me Ok)

that being said,,, writing all this out did remind me of how much i liked the concept and i think taking the pressure off of myself for a couple months did help, as did taking a break from apocalypsey concepts for a while. so. Maybe. and that is all i will say about that <33

[sophsicle]

The world juniors have been so bad for my country :(( I'm from Latvia, and we've only won against Austria. Im just mostly sad for the boys (i literally can't watch sports games, i get way too sad for the losing team lmao)

AnYWay, do you remember the 2021 world championship where Latvia WON in the opening game against canada?? Bc that moment is just BURNED into any Latvian's dna. Like we WON against CANADA. THERE WERE CELEBRATIONS IN THE STREETS (we probably would've partied in the streets of Rīga the whole night, but there were covid restrictions, unfortunately, so it was kept to a minimum. BUT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THE STREETS)

AND, fun fact, Latvia is one of the only three countries in the world where ice hockey is the most popular sport!! The other 2 are Canada and Finland obvs. So like. We LOVE hockey too, but our souls hurt every day because we aren't as good as you guys. (Except that time we won in 2021)

ALSO a game burned into every latvian's memory FOREVER is that 2014 Sochi Olympics game against Canada. Like. I cried so fucking much that night lmao. EVERYONE was watching the game. And we ALMOST won. Like the pure fucking suspense of sitting through that game, most of the time on 1-1. And that one moment, where Gudļevskis made an insane save to begin with and then Kristaps Sotnieks just fucking reached and pulled the puck away from the goal line??? When he couldn't even fucking see anything? And the puck was already ALMOST over the line??? Core memory of mine. Literal chills just thinking about it. Insane.

And im so close to crying just THINKING about how we lost it. Like. WE WERE SO CLOSE. JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES. Like if we had gotten to the shootout im CONVINCED we would've won. Gudļevskis was a freaking awesome goalie and i WILL fight anyone who disagrees.

And like worst part is that we really did our fucking best and all the guys played as well as they could. There's no one to be angry at. No one even thought we'd do that well. Everyone was surprised by the 1-2 bc it was expected that we'd lose by so much more. It was a good game. That doesn't change the fact that everyone in Latvia cried afterward. LIKE AHHHHHH

Okay long story short, our hockey history against canada is a SENSITIVE TOPIC. We will fight you if you imply anything bad about our boys in those games. Not a threat, just a warning (itstotallyathreat).

anyway, now that I've ranted for god knows how long, um... good luck in the juniors game against the USA? Im rooting for you guys (but full disclosure. If sweden plays for gold against you, ill be rooting for sweden. Bc I'll never forgive that Sochi game)

Also im aware that games against latvia are probably like. very insignificant for canada. BUT LISTEN THEY'RE IMPORTANT FOR US

Ok sorry for yelling in your asks. Im done now. Hockey brings out the passion yk

I want you to know I enjoyed every minute of reading this.

Also i totally get having loses that you can't let go of. My NHL team is the Habs (Montreal Canadiens) and like two years ago they went on a cup run and lost to Tampa Bay and like. I have never recovered. I hate Tampa Bay an unjustified amount. Also any time I see edits from that season I cry. Like. They got so close. And Carey Price DESERVED THAT CUP. HE DESERVED IT. UGH. And yeah, honestly I always feel bad for the teams when they lose no matter who they are (unless they're America, sorry I can't, the rivalry runs too deep, but literally everyone else), like you see their little faces, and they're so sad, they tried so hard, and I just wanna smush their lil cheeks and be like "buck up buddy, you'll get 'em next time" Honestly, so pumped for the Czech Republic and their win against Sweden, because they haven't won gold in like twenty years (I don't think they've played in the finals either) and I don't think anyone really thought they were gonna do much in this tournament (everything I heard was all Canada Finland USA) So like yes, I want Canada to win gold, but if the Czech Republic pulls this off I will honestly be a little proud of them - I love an underdog

[bigger-rat]

(Pls don’t put this in the f.hr tags cause I don’t want to bring up bad memories for ppl) but I remember when things were imploding and that one group (you know the one) literally scrambling for things to make the game problematic to cover up the fact that they were just angry that the author wouldn’t cater to them and agree with their bullshit shipping discourse (they’re all self proclaimed ‘antis’ whatever that means and the author didn’t understand what that was and when the author didn’t blindly agree with it and take a position in the bullshit shipping discourse they all turned on them, they might try to cover and say that they don’t like the game or creator anymore for a different reason that doesn’t sound as stupid but THATs literally the base of why the fandom implosion happened. Because of bullshit shipping discourse agshjd)

BUT anyway the funniest thing they tried to claim was that sidestep, the 30 year old MC, was grooming Herald… a 25 year old man going on 26. Do you remember that?? Am I going crazy?? They definitely tried to claim that aghdjd god I’m dying laughing right now while remembering this. They were so desperate

I won’t lie I am forever bitter at them because they sent the author tons of death threats and hate mail & then acted like the author had some sort of responsibility towards them (the entitlement from them was and still is crazyyy) when the author was also sick w covid and had job and financial insecurity due to covid complications and *god forbid* didn’t want to and probably couldn’t physically handle their fandom wank, and then they acted like the author was the Literal Devil for taking care of themselves

Everything honestly has a silver lining though because the writing quality has just absolutely skyrocketed since the authors time on tumblr, and I feel like without that much needed break that the author took due to all the stress that book 2 wouldn’t have been nearly as good as it is now. The author also appears to be thriving now, which is awesome. Sometimes we need a painful journey to have a happy ending :D

(Sorry to vomit in your inbox like this lmfao)

No lol you're right and you should say it.

What they did to Malin was VILE. They were nothing but kind to the community, they appreciated every piece of fanart people made, were active in the community, they let us play bits of book 2 long before it was out. And these rabid fans literally bullied them out of the fandom.

The author shouldn't have so publicly do things for a specific few friends IMO, not because it's inherently bad but because everyone is insane on this website and that was a ticking time bomb.

And then, god forbid, someone came up with a compelling but problematic sidestep/herald ship (COUGH smute COUGH), and the author liked it, and how DARE they like a problematic relationship in a story about a LITERAL FUCKING VILLAIN. The pearl-clutching is unimaginable.

I don't remember people saying that Herald is being groomed lol but I do remember people going off on power dynamics and how it's an abusive relationship and like. Yes, the romantic relationship in the game where you invade people's minds and also constantly beat your friends/lovers into a bloody pulp are.. a little problematic! Grow the fuck up and go watch steven universe or something.

Imagine reading a book about a literal SUPER VILLAIN and being shocked that they're a bad person who has toxic relationships. Just fucking imagine that. The book in which you routinely kidnap people's bodies without their consent and invade their minds? Problematic?? Wooow.

I'm sad that Malin got chased out of the community but I hope they can sleep better now that they, a 40-50 year old person with a job and a life, don't have to navigate the kindergarten drama of some terminally online zoomers and their shitty shipping fantasies.

[alpaca-clouds]

NaNoWriMo Day 5

I had to skip NaNo yesterday, because by the looks of it I got COVID again, just like last year around this time. And yesterday I just slept through most of the day. Really most of it. So, no writing happened yesterday.

Today, too, I have to stop in the middle of a chapter, which I usually don't like. But I am still trying to figure out a bit how the action in the next chapter is going to go. Because yeah, there is gonna be action.

Wordcount: 23 300 / 50 000 (+4696)

Chapters: 10.5 / 23

Favorite Bits

“How did you sleep?” Astarion inquired. “Fairly good, as always,” Tav said. “I took longer than you to fall asleep, though.” He sighed and Astarion knew quite well, why. “You were thinking about those drow.” “Yes, of course. If anything… I hope we can go there next night and find out who is behind it.” “And get the drow I saw out of it, I assume.” “Yes, that was the plan.” Another sigh came over the bard’s lips. “I need to go tell Karlach, Wyll and Shadowheart. I think depending on what we are dealing with…” “Come on, it cannot be worse than anything what we dealt with before.” “Even the mightiest paladin might get slayed by a single kobold if he becomes too haughty.” “Oh please, keep those pearls of wisdom to yourself,” Astarion muttered, though he did so with a grin. “I am just saying, that even after everything we need to be careful. Not get haughty. Not be mindless.” At this Astarion could not help a chuckle. “May I remind you, Tav, darling, that it tends to be you who usually runs into danger without a second thought – at least when it comes to saving people? I have stopped counting how many times we needed to save your sorry ass.” “I am trying to learn,” Tav replied. “Trying to be more patient.”

There was this one thing, that was driving him about as insane as the memory of his former sire. A thing, that interwove with said memory often enough. The one thing, he did not really understand and was afraid to question. But even now he did not understand what Tav actually liked about him. Because Tav was this silly, heroic man, who wanted to save everyone. Literally everyone. Of course, Tav had been very receptive towards his flirtation back then. But at the time Astarion had assumed, that for the most part, this man was just a bard, who was thinking with his sexual organs rather than anything else. He had not questioned it too much, because it was just how he had expected things to go. His calculation had been to seduce the man and get his protection in return – especially as everyone else somehow was listening to that idiot. What he had not expected was for this man to actually care about him – and even less to actually start caring about him in return. But why? Why was this idiot like that? Why had he been there for those last seven months? No matter how horrible Astarion had been. Did that idiot really care about him, or…

“You just needed to say something,” Wyll muttered. “We could have brought food. Something proper.” “Really, Wyll,” Shadowheart noted, “you know Tav – and Astarion. What did you expect from those two.” Karlach chuckled. “You are being mean, sweetheart.” “No, I am being honest. You were not there that first night before we found you guys. Tav tried to cook. He tried.” Kantei started laughing. “He is not that bad.” “He just randomly threw stuff into one pot and expected it to magically turn into stew!” “Well, he probably didn’t have cheese,” Aarton observed. “He is pretty good as long as he can put cheese into everything.” “That is not what I would consider good,” Shadowheart muttered – and just a bit, Astarion had to agree with her. “Weren’t you a follower of Shar?” Lakrissa said. “I mean, isn’t Shar all about the ‘absence of things’? I cannot imagine followers of Shar to eat well. True beauty probably lies in the absence of flavor or something.” This got Shadowheart to blush just a little. “Well, we at least had proper stews.”

(And yes, there is a whole chapter of twelve characters just ripping into each other.)

[tsotc]

hi from anon who asked about amnuai (maybe i should pick an emoji to sign off with from here on.) i like amnuai even more now, how cer values life is beautiful. can i keep asking about your ocs? i want to hear more about facade, and by silly rabbit... does cer have someone special or an actual rabbit? - 🩰

yes of course :D i love talking about ocs. If it's not obvious, these are RP alts to an extent and uh. well. smiling serenly.

The silly rabbit in question is called Absinthe! He's my boyfriend's oc and he has every memory disorder known to man.

Amnuai and Absinthe aren't dating but they're also not not dating. Absinthe follows cer around whilst ce does jobs and Amnuai keeps him from Fucking Dying. They keep each other company. Absinthe is incredibly touch friendly and shows affection via physical contact, Amnuai has been alone for so long that touch is a very new sensation. it's cute i think. Amnuai is real fucking bad at showing cer emotion outside of cer convictions with life and death and whenever ce gets really flustered it's just like (looking away)(looking away). miles edgeworth but pinker. and a lizard. i think.

btw facade is a joint venture between a character of mine (Udomwit, who runs the bar and is the main owner, believes herself to be a vampire) and a character of daniel's (boyfriend)(Petrichor, runs a counselling service upstairs, literally the only normal person in the entire building). Amnuai is a regular who ended up venturing cer services to Udomwit and became close friends with people there.

There are like. a few other regulars like uh. anurak (insane girl swag unlimited, halonic devotee but the twist is that he's Really Psychotic (projection lmao) about halone and believes her to be speaking to him directly), jerome (heretic, he and anurak lunge at each other in the streets, self reliant and very very gumbly. love that dude a lot, one of daniel's ocs), lumimi (formerly an old sharlayan botanist, currently helps provide produce, refused to leave idyllshire during the evacuation so just fucks about and finds out. speaks goblin. another daniel oc) and estmund (one of my guys, a chef friend of Udomwit's (They cook together) who is in his 50s but is a Face Four Midlander and looks 25 in canon because of his patrick bateman style skincare routine. Haggard old man trapped in the body of a really really average gay man).

[gesturing] they're all incredibly insane in their own way and i adore them. i want a slice of life style show with them one day. the fact that amnuai routinely comes in covered in blood and is still one of the more well adjusted people in there is such a charm point i think.

(profiles pulled from the carrd we're working on. not completely done)

this has cer old horns :( sorry. fun fact: i have done fucking everything on this lizard now since doing the new horns (minus tbse base and the asym faces, tysm fellow modders <3) bc i ported the hair, did the colourset edits on the glasses, did the horns and make up and also did the mashup ce wears :D

(jerome's section isn't done but have this picture of him anyway. he's very dashing i think. his surname is laframboise and i'm told it's bc he used to make raspberry jam with his parents before they died from being french slash jay)

[smiletimeisrunningout]

That gave her pause as well, and Emma tilted her head, considering it, "That's a very good point. Well, it truly isn't needed now, but I shall take the horse if I think the walk is starting to weight on me." After all she didn't know how far the woman had gotten, scared as she was. But really, she had to somehow make him understand, eventually, that her long walks could include going up and down a mountain and still have her dancing the same night.

She understood. She immediately understood what he meant, because she knew, she had been there, the memories hadn't left gaps but slashes so deep her heart never stopped bleeding. Others had tried to tell her so in the past, but they were older, usually, seemingly hardened but worried about it happening to her. How long had this young man been at war? She didn't speak yet, but nodded to signal she had heard.

"Oh. Oh, yes, I'm sorry, I... where I come from, it is so... truly... innocent and names are for everyone to call you, not just family. Especially for a woman of my status, no one would... I must forget your name so I don't use it." It was one thing to tease him, another to push intimacy against him when he said he was uncomfortable - good lord, she didn't want to be creepy.

"Hard to tell, poor thing..." she answered, "The signs are getting deeper on the ground, she must have started to get tired, she had a basked and... well, she's likely not used to run around with it..." Of course if she did farming she'd be far stronger than your average lady, but still, strength and stamina were not the same. "I'm... more used to walk for sure," she started saying hesitantly, keeping her eyes on the tracks - he had shared an intimate knowledge he had, whether he realized it or not, trying to give her advice about his soldiers, it was only fair to try to give honesty back, earnestly this time, "In my kingdom women are allowed to join the army. I don't mean as nurses or spies, I mean as soldiers. So guess what I did. Can't very well let people fight all my battles when I was learning how to fend for myself before I knew all the letters."

She adjusted her skirts, just to keep her hands busy, missed wearing pants dearly, and spoke in an equally calm tone to keep things lighter than words would suggest, "You know... I've held dying people in my arms when I was but a kid, and they weren't dying for the country or because of enemies they made, they died for me. Because my dethroned grandmother wanted my heart on a plate-" more literally than anyone would think, speaking of insane royalty, "-and so I decided that every time I could take care of something alone, I would. I can fight so much better when I'm on my own than when worrying for my companions. But sometimes there is no choice, like now, like it happened plenty times before, and it doesn't always end well. So I've been told before to be careful with my emotions. But I can't. It's just-well, I've never prided myself to be smart or wise. The only way I can deal with this, all the death and losses, is... to give as much love as I can anyway. And if they do get taken from me, they'll take some of that love with them, it's fine, I've got plenty more to give. But I'll get to smile at their memory, have no regrets, and keep going. I can take that. I can take that heartbreak if it means that I didn't waste one precious second and that they left feeling loved. Most people would be too anguished by those gaps to be able to do it for long, which is more than understandable, but that is all the more reasons that I'm the one to provide love and laughs, so that the others don't have to if they can't. Your men are smiling. If God forbid anything happens to them, that alone will be worth my pain. I'll carry with me like I always do and walk." Definitely, horribly too honest to say to someone whom she didn't know well enough to be certain he wouldn't use it to hurt her, but what was she supposed to do, talk about the weather while death was all around them? "Then again! Even if I wanted to, I'm unable to learn anything from my mistakes. I've heard my old tutor say so, she thought my schooling skills were those of a rock. But I'm a woman, so I can afford that."

darkoneprincess​:

Inappropriate to call her by name? She’d understand if he meant due to her status, but was it truly so scandalous in this country to simply address someone with the very same word their parents had given them to be addressed with? From the look on his face - oh, so adorable - and the mention of reputations, she may as well have asked him to sleep next to her. She had to resist the urge to say so out loud, given how scandalized he already seemed by something so natural and innocent. Whether he realized it or not, it had to be his title, his position in the army, that gave him the courage to be so stubborn with her, because titles gave power, and his men for one reason or another had not exactly minded her ‘molly coddling’ one bit, and in fact came back in the friendliest of ways besides fumbling when having to decide how to call her. Yet he didn’t seem to notice the power her title gave her - not him, of course, but power to be ridiculous and not be seen as so by most if not all.

She was considering being fully honest with him when he made her actually stop walking for a moment because of his next words, absolutely appalled. She opened her arms and dropped them again, mouth opening in search for words.  "How… how old do you think I am?” she nearly whispered, “Goodness, I know I haven’t exactly gone through my beauty process lately, I’m not exactly at my best, but you don’t actually think I’ll be exhausted over this little walk, do you? Am I so worn-off looking? I must get my hands on powder-But no, no, thank you, I’m actually tracking the woman following the signs on the ground, so I’ll stay on foot.“ She touched her hair self-consciously but that was ridiculous, her hair was perfect. Perhaps they should share a bit more about what they did before meeting each other, was it possible that he hadn’t chatted with any of his men? They already heard some of her stories, they knew she wasn’t exactly sitting at the castle all day - but then, they were men, they didn’t usually share tea and gossiped with their superiors. “Sorry, sweetie,” she told the horse, coming closer enough to pet it, “I’ll be with you on our way back, don’t take it personally. You are a good horse.”

Ah, he was worried she’d embarrass him in front of his superiors. That was very understandable, but right now there were none, even his men weren’t there, so that wasn’t all of it. “I wouldn’t call you anything but Major Tallmadge around anyone who would judge you poorly for it, and that includes but isn’t limited to your direct superiors. Back home everyone calls me Emma by my request, but if a king is witnessing the conversation I’ll be addressed as ‘Your Highness’ even by my closest friends, and that includes people who will happily call me an idiot when we are alone. I don’t like that they must use titles, but appearances must be kept to appease those who believe respect comes from distance. I don’t, but that’s not important now. Just know that I’ll act the way a princess is meant to act in formal situations.” By then, she had moved to walk beside him, so it could be a proper conversation and not a match. He was so tall, the mere fact that she hadn’t really noticed it before said how unfairly physically distant she had been. 

“I’m about to say something that you will hate, and you’ll want to interrupt me, but please be a gentleman and let me finish. Then you can disagree or… consider the truth in what I’ve said. You’ve missed two important things here when it comes to my behavior. I believe that is because you are not… malignant, nor particularly inclined to gossip yourself, although that’s just a guess,” she paused, deciding which one to start with, “One: I’m to be queen. Some day I’m actually going to sit on a throne and I live in an actual castle. That… as awful as it is, to the majority of people, even when they don’t have their own monarch, means that whatever I’m doing surely has to be fashionable, or at worse I’m an eccentric, which really just means insane of course, but if you are either very rich or powerful, or in my case both, it’s an acceptable sort of insanity that has to be expected from my kind. They are not going to actually take my antics seriously unless the situation truly requires it, just accept what we do as appropriate for us. Obviously I’m just like everybody else except more lucky, but I promise you, most people will believe what we do makes sense because it must make sense for people 'like us’, as if we are a different species, and that can absolutely span from petnames or wearing outrageous clothing to… outlawing the color red or refusing to speak louder than a whisper so that your valet must repeat every word you say for the room,” she wrinkled her nose at that memory, “The second thing you’ve not realized yet is that I’ve already been calling 'sweetie’ and 'dear’ and 'darling’ and 'honey’ everyone at camp whenever it felt right, sometimes while sharing tea with them. I do it with everyone I like, so it says nothing about the person that it’s directed to except that I enjoy their presence. I like them so it slips out without me even noticing. And I like you as well, very much, and everyone can see that too. So if I call everyone names and you are just… Major even at camp, well… chances are everyone is going to think I’m keeping distance because we are hiding something scandalous. It is the most suspicious way to deal with rumors, to be formal with you while clearly enjoying your company, and so close to everybody else. If I call you Benjamin, which is a lovely name by the way, or Ben, or even dear, I doubt they’ll pay attention. If I call you Major, and then we fight like husband and wife, they’ll fully believe I ruined your reputation… among other things. It sounds wrong at this point.”  

“Old?” Ben echoed, regarding her incredulously. “Madam, I am merely saying that we have a long journey ahead of us, and you could do with as much rest as physically possible! You will be of no use to any ‘fair maidens’ and ‘subjects in distress’ if you are poorly rested, now will you?”

Sometimes, he found, it was best to use her altruism against her, and by God, Emma was so damnably kind that he was amazed they hadn’t stopped to inspect every tree, clambering insect, and damnable blade of grass along the way.

Artillery nickered as Emma pet her nose, and with a sigh, Ben rolled his eyes toward the heavens. No, the princess was not old, but she could certainly do with a bit of elderly wisdom!

After finally falling into step alongside him, she gave her reassurances – reassurances he desperately wanted to believe – and he offered a nod of his head. “Right,” he muttered. “Well, no offense to your stance on distance and respect, but I would advise you to not call the men by name. It makes it all the more painful once they end up dead and you have to live with their memory…a memory that wouldn’t be nearly so gaping, were you to have kept your distance.” Looking away, his expression hardened. “I am speaking from experience. Take my advice or leave it.”

“I’m about to say something that you will hate…”

Ben snorted. “Yes. Because every other quibble has been so pleasant thus far. But very well…you are technically capable of beheading me, so I’ll listen.” In spite of himself, a small smile lifted the corner of his mouth. Or at least, it had been present until Emma started giving her rambling speech.

As much as he hated anything about monarchial rule – or at the very least, England’s – he could feel a certain level of pity for her being entrapped by circumstance. As a freedom fighter, he supposed he had to; that it was unavoidable to not feel empathy for those in their varying prisons, no matter how different.

Slowly but surely, her long speech started to make sense, and unbidden, a healthy pink spread from Ben’s face to well below his cravat and he swallowed, mortified by the implications. She was right – God, why did she have to be right? – and with a grimace, he bobbed his head in agreement. “Fair point,” he grumbled. “Still, seeing how it goes against my entire upbringing, I would prefer that you stick to ‘dear’ like with everyone else, rather than my Christian name. Only familiars are supposed to speak as such, and I have only been in your company for the past few days. That is not nearly enough time to develop such an intimate acquaintance.”

Arguably, it was. War forged friendships in commiseration and blood, and with a heaviness in his heart, Ben realized that he was finally feeling a touch of guilt. He was being cruel to Emma on purpose – he realized that now. He did not find her loathsome nor unpleasant (not beyond her inability to listen, anyway), and with each friend he lost, he wasn’t so sure he could bear to tack on yet another. Comradery led to loss…loss he could no longer stand. 

Exhaling through his nose, long and deep, he asked, “And according to the woman’s tracks, how much farther do we have?”

[midnightsunnyday]

MC And The Brothers In: Banned

******

MC: Lucifer.

Lucifer: MC.

MC: may I enter?

Lucifer: you may.

MC: *clears throat* it has come to my attention that I may have been...a bit too passionate while courting you these past few months, to the point where I have become blinded by our many differences.

Lucifer, continuing to read over his bills: is that right?

MC: indeed. It seems that in my efforts to wile you I have slowly yet surely lost sight of myself. Most days, I can no longer recognize the person I once was: young, beautiful, exceptionally witty.

Lucifer: why do I have several invoices for Cats and Pats Monthly? *rolls eyes* As if I even need to ask.

MC: and so, it is with a heavy heart that I must...keep my distance from you. Nay, to merely be in your pressence now feels me with great despair...and longing.

Lucifer: should really consider having my card reissued.

MC: *sniffles* and yet, despite your indifference, I pray that one day we both look upon this memory not with bitterness or regret, yet...with forgiveness.

Lucifer: ...

MC: ...

Lucifer: are you finished?

MC: yes. Yes I do believe I am.

Lucifer: *smiles* excellent. Oh, and you all are still banned from The Fall.

Mammon, bursting through the door to Lucifer's study: dammit, you said that would work!

Lucifer: you attempt to manipulate me with subpar theatrics and that's your conclusion?

MC: I know what I said! *cries* oh, spiteful son of morning, why do you torture us so?

MC: *gasps* subpar?

Asmodeus, falling to the floor dramatically: Lucifer how could you! The Fall is literally my territory! Who knows what will happen if I'm not there to oversee it? There will be anarchy! Carnage! Overpriced martinis!

MC, grabbing Asmodeus by the shoulders: don't you dare say that! They would never!

Mammon: oof. Though they did raise the price on their mini hellfire devil wings.

MC: *gasps* it's begun!

Asmodeus: this is unrulable, I say! The judge is biased! We demand a retrial!

Lucifer: *sighs* you have two minutes.

Asmodeus, brushing themselves off: ooh, ooh, me first! *clears throat* ok, so first off, I just want to say that I had no idea things would go as crazy as they did. I mean, all I did was simply inform a few demons worthy of my time an evening of consensual, carnal pleasure in the VIP room. How was I suppose to know they would all try to cram in at once? I simply wasn't prepared.

MC: ...

Mammon: ...

Mammon: ...bit of a low hanging fruit, don't ya think?

MC: you're right. We're both better than that.

Lucifer: alright then. MC, I suppose you have more than a few words for yourself?

MC: you know me so well, my dear. So, as you all know, never have I been one to turn down a good, sexy romp.

Mammon: hm. That right, huh?  

Lucifer: why, I never would've known.

Asmodeus: and I love you for it, sweetie.

MC: as I was saying--thank you, Asmo--that night, I was feeling a bit...overwhelmed and decided not to engage. However, there was one particular demon who insisted to have what he cannot have.

Mammon: oh man, that fight was insane! I don't think I ever saw ya--

MC: --Mammon, you're interupting my scene.

Mammon: oh yeah, sorry.

MC: anyway, it was then that I simply enacted what my species considers an inate physiological response towards a potentially threatening event. Unfortunately, for that particular demon, my flight or fight instincts are a bit...fighty, especially after 10 shots of Hennessey.

Asmodeus: you should've seen them, Lucifer! They were like a little hurricane with hands!

Lucifer: while I'm thankful you're unharmed and adept at self-defense, your little spat costed 40,000 Grimm worth of damages. Speaking of which, Mammon, care to elaborate on the 80,000 Grimm tab that was made in my name?

Mammon: w-well I mean, of course we all needed refreshments afterward, so...we informed the bartender that the Avatar of Pride would gladly pay for all expenses incurred. Which was both the responsible and mature thing to do, seeing as I would've definitely ran--I mean, would never leave an establishment without payin' proper.

MC: so in summary, my dear, clearly you can see that...well, obviously there's...when you really look at it we're all--

Lucifer: --guilty?

MC: ...

Lucifer: ...

MC: ...is such an ugly word.

Lucifer: enough. Neither one of you are to step foot inside that establishment again unless I deem it so. And if I even hear that you've gone against my word I will string you all by the ankles and hang you up from the highest pillar of the Demon Lord's Castle until the end of time.

MC: ha! Jokes on you guys. I'll be long dead by then.

Mammon: that's what you're focusin' on?

Lucifer: now get out.

Everyone: but Lucifer~~~

Lucifer: out!

*everyone running out of the room*

MC, poking their head back in: by the way, has anyone ever told you how hot you are when you're...

Lucifer: *glares menacingly*

MC: okgotitbye.

Lucifer: *rubs his forehead* start an exchange program, he said. It will change your life, he said.

[wizkiddx]

i just had the cutest idea at least in my head and would LOVE if u could do a blurb? where tom is trying to measure your ring size to propose while your asleep, but then you wake up and catch him.

this is v v cute! I hope this is what u want, sorry if it didn't translate I found it a bit tricky aha

summary: tom gets caught preparing for a very big moment

warnings: v small reference to smut

//////////////////////////////

Sleep always had been, and always will be, an important thing in your life. Naturally then, any source of interruption, was met with some….some hostility. Maybe it was your annoying flatmates as a student, who insisted on playing the worst drum and bass till 4 am every night; maybe your neighbours car alarm, which seemed to be set off by the lightest gust of wind; or maybe your loving- if slightly infuriating -boyfriend.

Tom had just got back from a trip abroad and you’d had a quiet evening in- consisting of pizza, a long forgotten film playing and lots and lots of laughs. As much as you loved his family and friends, celebrating with a fancy dinner and lots of drink - there was nothing better than a night in. It was what you’d both desperately needed too, just actual quality time with the both of you living in the moment, forgetting everything else outside the four walls of your flat.

Needless to say, you’d ended up right between the sheets and you honestly couldn’t remember falling asleep. But now, barely conscious, you did notice your fingers being moved and fiddled with. With a groan you limply pulled them away, rolling over to chase Tom’s body heat - which seemed to have disappeared. His presence hadn’t though, you could tell even with your eyes shut due to his little coo.

“Shh darling…. go back to sleep.” And with a mumbled incomprehensible response, you tried to - even if you personal heater appeared to be in hiding.

Yet then, barely 30 seconds later, the bed dipped weirdly again; Tom’s grasp lightly tugged at the arm you’d crossed over your body. Fighting against it, you snatched your arm away and groaned incoherently once again. Again you got a the most whispered and soft sounding reply from Tom. “Shhh Y/n/n…. come on, work with me here.” Clearly you were half asleep, not really paying any attention to to his words, so huffed - shifting again so you we lying half on your back, half on your side, your left hand lying on the pillow next to your head.

And yet again, barely a minute later, you were sure you heard him chuckle before the bed wobbled as he crawled up it. You could feel his shin brushing against your side as he once again went to grab your hand. And that- that was the last straw.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

The sight you were greeted with was not one you expected. Tom kneeling next to you, with bed hair and all, looking like a deer caught in headlights - literally too, the flashlight from his phone illuminated the otherwise pitch black room. His eyes bugged out his head, while he frantically fumbled with his phone in an attempt to get the light off.

“Nonononono” Muttering as if you weren’t there, Tom obviously struggled to find the right button to shut it off - giving you amply opportunity to notice the other object in his lap.

A yellow tape measure?

Why the hell he was measuring you while you slept, completely unawares, was beyond you. The boy hand some explaining to do - primarily because… he interrupted your sleep.

“Tom what the fuck?”

“I’m so sorry I-I just….just go back to sleep love.” It was weird, how he seemed defeated? He looked upset, and was doing that thing where he nervously ran his fingers through his brown curls.

“Not until you tell me what the hell you’re doing.” Sticking firmly, you reached over to flick the bedside light on, just as he finally got the torch off. The warm golden light illuminated to whole room, allowing you to more clearly assess the situation. The brunette was sat so he were almost leaning over you, with the tape measure but also you now noticed a little notebook and pen sat to the side. His despairing look had you immediately forgiving the interruption to your night- everything, melting away to concern. “What’s going on T?”

“You um-you weren’t supposed to-fuck! I’m sorry love I just-“ Reacting to his embarrassed ramblings, you sat up properly to cup his his cheeks with both your hands.

“Hey take a breath yeah? Then tell me why you’re being all creepy and sizing me up for a coffin or something?” He laughed breathily at that, but it was a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t- I… can we just forget this happened?” He already started to get off the bed, wrapping the tape up in a very hurried manner. With a scowl you shook your head, leaping up to grab the yellow ribbon out his hands before he could fight back.

At that point it was too late for Tom. You saw the way the tape was labelled, not with cms or inches. Instead it was letters of the alphabet, starting at G and ending at Z. You would’ve been confused, except the fact you’d used this weird scale before, when you and your best friend got matching promise rings the other month.

Tom had been trying to measure your ring size.

You couldn’t help but let out a little ‘oh’ as it clicked - making Tom sigh heavily, still looking at you with worried and terrified eyes. It took a minute for you to face him, smiling weakly with a little gleam growing across your eyes.

“We should- we should uh, let’s go back to bed yeh?” Stammering through, you already almost forced the the tape back into his hands. Wordlessly he nodded jerkily and placed both the notebook, the tape and his phone on the bedside - as you flicked the lamp off.

Obviously, it was awkward as hell. Right now Tom knew you knew - he was less convinced though on how you reacted. Now he was doubting whether you wanted that- if you wanted to be his wife. The silence was defeneing, the bedsheets the only noise to interrupt as you both settled back onto the pillows. Tom left a bit on no-mans land in the middle, not wanting to push it.

Really there was no reason to not move and cuddle up to him, even slightly cruel. You knew Tom was worried that he’d fucked up massively. You could hear his breathing shake, as you both stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was slightly horrible, but you couldn’t help but feel insanely blissfully happy. Tom was your future and it was good to know he was starting to get the ball rolling.

“I’m a size N” You whispered up to the ceiling “just for the record.” You both swivelled to look at each other simultaneously, your smirk completely overwhelmed by the smile of pure joy that grew on Tom’s face. Yes the room was dark and you could barely see, but that image might just be one that lives forever in your memory - as your absolute favourite.

“Just-just so we’re on the same page… um, thats your fourth finger? Left hand?”

Finally moving from the awkward position, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck, legs wrapping round his. You chose not to answer super specifically, because it seemed like he was asking more than just one question there. Just very broad and very open to interpretation answer.

“Yes and… and um yes too…just for the record”

~~ let me know what you thought <3 ~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter @lovehollandy12 @thefernandasantana

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || Steve’s life takes a quantum leap when he finds you unconscious on the beach.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || ANGST (with a happy ending)

This is the second part of six feet under.

I know I broke your hearts, so here comes the second part to mend it! I hope you love this!

“You are my mission.”

Steve felt as if the walls of his heart were pricked by a thousand needles. It ached too much for him to bear. Unable to look in your eyes, he cried in his own palms.

The Asset wasn’t built to show emotions, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the picture in front of you; your mission had just dropped down on his knees and was pathetically sobbing.

Why wasn’t your target fighting. You were informed that he was great at hand combat but not really outstanding with guns. So why wasn’t he attacking you as expected. Why was he showing you his back in surrender?

You were told what to do if the mission fought. But you weren’t informed what to do if he just... surrendered.

Walking close to your mission where he was crouching down, you stared at him for a moment. You weren’t wearing your combat gear, and neither was he. You both were instead dressed in far from modest clothes.

You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t bring yourself to harm him in any way. With the way he was trusting you, you could’ve killed him within seconds. But yet your heart somehow ached at his situation.

When he didn’t even look up, you nudged his thigh with your left foot. When your mission finally looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and he was incessantly crying.

“Fight me.” You said as he just stared at you. Your blank gaze terrified Steve more than any alien or villain ever had. You didn’t know why, but you wanted him to fight you. You weren’t able to attack him if he just gave up.

Steve blinked his eyes as he took in your words. Why weren’t you killing him? He had surrendered to you and yet you were just looking back at him instead of fighting. Why did you want him to fight you?

“No.” Steve had never thought love would be his weakness. Or maybe he had never truly realised it. Steve loved Bucky as a friend and had rained hell when his friend was in danger.

And here he had signed off his soul in your name. He would literally bring you the moon and stars if you asked to. And he would bare his throat for you to slash through. But he couldn’t possibly ever hurt you.

“I said fight me.” Steve Rogers, your mission was supposed to fight you. Not just sit down and take whatever you gave him. You didn’t know why you were angry at his lack of self preservation.

What happened next was within the blink of an eye. Steve’s arm shot up and curled around your wrist. And with a quick pull, he pulled your entire body down.

His agility took you by shock and before you could react, you were down on the ground pressed against the floor with him straddling you. Taking both of your hands in his, he pinned them above your head, making sure you were immobile.

You were royally fucked. Your handlers wouldn’t take it lightly if you messed up. And that was if you reached them in one piece. Chances were you were gonna die here, right under Steve Rogers.

You opened your mouth to bite and hiss and Steve took the opportunity and dove right in. You stilled with surprise when you felt the captain’s plump lips right against yours. This man was super insane.

You mercilessly but his lower lip and ended up drawing blood. But as soon as he started licking in your mouth with his tongue, you melted right on the spot.

The warmth of his mouth slowly brought back the warmth of your memories. Steve felt you go pliant under him for some moments before you started fiercely kissing him back.

You entwined your fingers with his and gently pressed your tongue against the bite mark on his lips. You didn’t notice the tears that slipped through your eyes and how they mixed with Steve’s own tears falling against your face.

“Steve.” You called his name just like you always did. With love and belonging. He opened his eyes to see you staring right back at him with your lively eyes.

Steve had never been happier before. Pressing his forehead against yours, he just breathed you in for a moment. “Steve.” Your hand was now caressing his face.

Your eyes peering into each other were enough to convey the million thoughts you had and the thousand things you wanted to say. Pressing a loving kiss to your forehead, he got up and you followed him.

You both sat on the floor with your legs crossed, you kept some space between you two. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Steve repeated as he broke down once again.

You hushed him and held him in your arms until he calmed down. “I shouldn’t have done that, but… but I wanted to know.” Steve couldn’t ever forget how your face had morphed into that of betrayal as he recited the words.

“But I want to know one thing. Do you love me? Or… or is it some tactic of hydra to ruin me?” You wanted to slap Steve for asking this stupid ass question. Of course you loved him!

But then you realised where he was emotionally. If you were in his position then maybe even you would fear the same. “It’s real Steve. It’s definitely real.”

You framed his face with your hands and caressed your thumb over his cheeks. “Steve, I love you. And by ‘I’, I mean Y/N and Soldat. My soul belongs to you, no matter it’s name.

How can you doubt our love when it was the only thing that brought me back?” It was true, you wouldn’t have remembered anything if Steve hadn’t kissed you.

You could see the colour fill in Steve’s face. He pulled you in a bear hug and held you tight. “I love you. I love you.” Steve chanted in your ear just like before.

Once you were both calm enough to think straight, you decided to go out on the beach. You sat in the sand with your head tilted on Steve’s shoulder as the sea breeze kissed your wet cheeks.

“I barely remember who I was before all this Steve. I can only remember glimpses of the shield and the avengers. I’m no more the Y/N you once saw.”

Steve was silent as he listened to each and every word of yours. He wanted to say so many things back, but he knew he had to listen to you first.

“But I remember how they took me Steve. It was probably my third official shield mission and we had all thought that base was not active. But when we broke in, the operatives were waiting just for us.

It was trap and we fell willingly into it. The others managed to escape, but… but I couldn’t. And they took me Steve. I… I waited for you people.

I still remember shivering in that cold cell all alone, praying for you to find me. But you never came. And with time I just kept forgetting until I couldn’t remember anymore.” Your voice cracked yet you kept going.

“Even after you retired, you still were hydra’s number one target. It’s almost personal now. It took them some time, but they finally traced you and they knew you were alone.

I was supposed to use a boat as long as I was out of visibility and then swim till the shore so that you wouldn’t notice me. But I miscalculated the current and the rocks on the shore.

After I abandoned my boat, I jumped into the water and got caught in the water currents. It was a terrifying experience, just spinning wildly underwater as the water took you.

But I was oddly at peace as I thought finally I would be free. But then I hit my head on the rocks and got washed up. And I woke up remembering absolutely nothing in your warm bed.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve couldn’t ever forgive himself for all that had happened to you. He was sure shield must have tried their best, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure they must’ve tried.” You both sat quietly staring at the calm ocean which reflected the night sky.

“Do you still love me?” You asked with a dejected sigh. “I’ll always love you.” Steve replied pulling you closer. “Even after knowing who I am and what I was here for?”

“You could’ve easily completed your mission. I know you are capable enough of doing that. But, you did not. You couldn’t harm me even when I openly surrendered to you.

So yes, I still very much love you and I’ll stay by your side forever.” The last word pierced through your heart like a knife. You couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Steve, I… I have to go.” Steve looked at you quizzically. “Where?” You gulped audibly before meekly replying, “Hydra.” You could feel his body tense.

“You aren’t going back there, no matter what.” You wanted to believe Steve’s words, but you knew that couldn’t happen.

“I’ve tried to run away. So many times. But they always find me. They’ll find me this time too. And if they find me, they’ll find you too and I can’t let that happen.

I won’t be able to live if something happened to you. I’ll never forgive myself. And that’s why I need to go.” If this sacrifice was going to keep Steve safe, then so be it.

“Nothing will happen to me. And if they come, we will fight them. Together. And nothing and no one can stop us if we are with each other. Stay with me, please!”

You kissed his cheek to stop him from pleading anymore. You couldn’t tolerate the man you loved begging you. “I’ll… I’ll stay with you. I promise.”

Steve hugged you so tight, you wondered if you broke some bones. But being in the arms of the man who loved you, felt better than heaven itself. It was a different kind of a feeling, one that no words could ever describe.

“Steve, what do you think about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there.” You asked as you both sat silently on the beach, basking in each other’s presence.

“I’ve always thought about visiting Louvre too. But I never really got the chance.” Even as a sickly kid, Steve wanted to get mesmerised by the art in the famous museum.

“And what about Sydney? Or Amsterdam? Or Barcelona?” Your eyes lit up like an excited kid. “What about all of them?” Steve jested.

Steve wanted to travel the world too. In a sense he already had, but it was always for some mission and never for the sake of relaxation. “Yeah, we could do that!” You exclaimed as if the thought hadn’t occurred to you.

It would be a new beginning for both of you. A new life away from your tainted past. A fresh canvas to paint with the colours of your own choice. A much needed restart that both you and Steve needed.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s pack our bags!”