#sorry this is gross but i am so so tired
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Woke up to giant wet brown spots on my bed so Stella's going back to the vet in the morning. I'm so tired y'all. Hopefully they can figure out what's wrong with her.
#sorry this is gross but i am so so tired#i want her to be okay and for my sake i am tired of waking up to gross spots!! in MY BED!!#millie says#also good thing I'm making more money bc ive dropped $500 on her in the last month and half alone! :'))#like she's worth every penny but. agh. yknow?
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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!
yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)
it's so common in fandoms!
I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.
I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorry💔
I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actually🤕 feel like the most NT autistic person ever.
anyway here's a doodle!
#that's autism for you#I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things#I'm not even trying to be judgemental#I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes#so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place#from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here#how did I get here. I'm lost guys#but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things#and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong#i don't belong here#I can't relate to 99% of people#honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist#and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona#so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man#I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep#that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi™ theory#sorry for rant I am bored and tired😔#enjoy#villainous#villanos#dr flug#kenning flugslys#my art#ask reply
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I think the deleted scene is simply showing you how much Buck is cared for by the people he chose to be in his life, and from someone who craved that care and attention for so long I just think that's neat that Buck has so many people now that do, and idk I'm just happy for him
#kayla.txt#bucktommy#evan buckley#IM JUST HE IS SO CARED FOR HE IS SO LOVED#look at three people all saying how much they care for buck#three people that buck chose to be in his life and they care for him as much as buck cares for them#its said in different ways but thats whats important in the clip#some of y'all are just fucking gross#sometimes the scene isn't that deep and taking shots out of context#to portray a character as predatory or whatever the fuck homophobic shit you are saying is gross#for a show all about how people can grow and change for the better y'all hate when people grow and change for the better#i see shit like im a pisces and a lesbian and I want this character to die violently#and i think I'm a pisces and a lesbian and I personally love this character#our experiences arent the same#and I think having the gay men in fandom be comfortable and safe#is more important then a fucking ship#sorry normally I dont do this on my blog but I am tired#if you want to know my stance? multishipper#I want people who follow me to be comfortable and have fun
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MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE
#dhakaksdjs fuckdwkufeisfjsjajsueei#im using a translator and it keeps outputting 您 instead of 你 and he keeps calling it out like bro ur making it awkward#AND IM LIKE SORRY I CANT ACTUALLY WRITE IN THIS LANGUAGE IM REALLY DU M. BB#also he offered to take over the last part bc i was like hi its almost 9pm here and i literally cannot think anymore#like i am certain its a very easy last part my brain is just finished#i feel so bad bc i wanted to push this proj over the line#this company is so intense i am so baby i am so tired#hugging my cat and rubbing my gross face all over his gross body#me in vc trying to figure out how to say: it was broken earlier idk how it was fixed u saw it was broke tho right#but all that came out was: in the past it was….problematic… *20 yr silence*#before he awkwardly went: um its okay i dont think this is necessary also u have lint issues#and i was just like ya….i know 😭#its ambiguous to some of my teammates if i just dont understand them or if im fking dumb#its probably both im ngl#the blank stare i have on my face is first from trying to comprehend what the actual words they are saying mean#and then to comprehend what technical concept they are trying to convey#using like 50% of the information i managed to parse out#also im used to literally spending 30-40% of the working day talking smack#now i try to crack and joke and everyone is like three this isnt the time#three we are all gonna be hear past 9pm working this isnt the time
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"this cannibal murder game has incest in it and that makes me uncomfortable" oh my oh no! we must fix this, we wouldn't want the horror game to freak you our or make you uncomfortable or anything!! that's not what horror is about!! like the cannibalism is fine but the incest? 🤢cant have such gross illegal things in this horror game!
#girls i am. so tired#knick they knacks#every day it gets closer and closer to parody#because how the FUCK are there people legitimately saying#the cannibalism and murder is fine but the incest is ILLEGAL AND BAD AND GROSS#IM SORRY????????#but its not puritanism they swear! they swear they're not just products of xtian puritanism in the US!#thats why the sex is bad but the violence is fine :)
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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i should not be allowed to make any decisions or interact w anyone when i’m extremely emotional and tired and stupid… they should stick me in a boat out to sea until i can be normal again….
#if i say something stupid this week i am so sorry it’s so shit rn i love u i’m#really tired!!!#i feel so gross right now. my hair is annoying me soooo much and ugh idk it’s all shit… not to be dramatic i’m sorry gahhh
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Gay trans men be normal about women challenge. Especially trans women and lesbians
#why are they so misogynistic. like why. lol. lmao even. it's infuriatingly hysterical#and not just misogyny in general#the TRANSMISOGYNY??????#lord. god. dear fucking jesus it's goddamn horrendous#also genuinely one of THE MOST lesbophobic groups of ppl i have ever had the displeasure of interacting with#the disdain for women hidden behind 'well i'm not a woman nor attracted to them uwu it's okay to talk about how awful and gross and terribl#they all are. also i will accuse all of them for being either transphobic or a misandrist or both if they confront me about this'#'because i am trans and a minority group so therefore i can never be wrong uwu'#insane behavior#the way so many of them view afab nonbinary ppl as Women Lite because if you're not a binary trans man who wants to pass as cis perfectly#you are irrelevant and can have no opinions on trans topics or experience transphobia or identify it#crazyyyyyyyyyyyy#don't even get me started on the 'transandrophobia truthers' just admit you can't handle trans women being the main topic of conversation f#for once. not even in discussions over their fucking oppression#and don't even get me started on the internalized shit. like not just the misogyny but honestly this weird brand of transphobia#and homophobia too. it's fucking wild#once again. lol. lmao even.#sorry i saw some stupid shit this morning (and it's been building for a while) and I want to bitch. i'm tired. i'm so fucking tired#it's such a trend i have seen in this group of ppl#OBVIOUSLY i know they are not all like this but GODDAMN a lot of them are#and any time someone tries to point out any issues with the community they're just accused of being a bigot. whatever x-phobia is convenien#to cry at the time#okay i'll shut up now#kaz rambles
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I don't care about the long-term negative effects of chronic stress, I care about the short term one of all my dreams being horrendous and bad and full of situations that I can't win
#em overshares#this is like the 5th night in a row that i have had dreams where i set out to fulfill a task and am unable to! or the end result is off!#sang a wonderful folk song about a whale but was ultimately unable to find and befriend it#became the proud owner of a Car that is Big Enough for my Belongings but lost them all and now i live there#had terrible sex :/#helped watch someone's cat but they told me he eats plain pasta for dinner and i got sad#on a road trip with my parents and my tires were flat but we couldn't exit the highway and I got pulled over#i am sure im missing some other weird scenarios that my mind has created to make sure my sleep is as unfulfilling as being awake#anyway sorry for over sharing and mentioning sex (a thing many people do and have. except when /I/ talk about it im Gross)#oh wait no i remembered another scenario#having to have sleepovers at people's houses that i barely know so im always uncomfortable and feel bad asking for a glass of water#anyway dream Me is going through it
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bro i hate my country's politicians so much it's unreal
#i truly and sincerely hope they all die in a fire i am not even slightly joking#they promote violence and encourage an even deeper split between the people. bc it helps them#and it's disgusting. they don't care who they hurt as long as they get more power#actually they DO care who they hurt. they WANT to hurt people!! that's how they get more right wing voters!!!!!#they openly and proudly announce they want palestinians dead and out of their homes and it's sickening#(the fact this is WHY people vote them is even more sickening. they fact they were allowed to get this far is awful)#in addition to that they ofc want the lgbt community dead and they actively hurt women's rights bc how can they not :^)#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here#sorry for talking politics. i try to avoid it but everyone on social media is talking about it. i'm so tired i hope we all explode fr#actually i'm not done i really need to vent lol#it really feels like there's no hope. the fact it keeps happening. and it gets worse every election cycle#and it's all bc fucking netanyahu is trying to avoid going to jail :^) i hope he dies today right now actually#for years everyone on the left jokes abt moving to another country but now it's becoming literally real#many people already HAVE left the country!!!!! like how fucked up is that!!!!!! that's how bad things are here!!!!!!#there's been rallies and protests for months now. i think nearly half a year at this point bc i remember it started in the winter#but obviously it doesn't do jack shit. bc why would it. if none of the right wing politicians literally get murdered -#- there is no real threat to them and so they have no actual reason to care. i sincerely think someone should take one for the team -#- and kill one of them lol i truly think this is the only solution at this point.#not to mention many of them are literally just. gross people. you hear them talk and can tell they have no experience in politics#they're all violent and constantly yell and this is how they appeal to the other violent people here#which is also why i think violence is the only way they'll understand. but alas if the left becomes violent we will be hated even more#ignoring the fact they have been violent this whole time yeah? they literally try to RUN OVER PROTESTERS#do you see why i have no hope here. do you see why i hate this so much. how can one be optimistic about this. everything sucks
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Running on empty today, keep passing out while trying to do things so replies are gonna have to wait til tomorrow. I'mma just gonna try to finish the ep5 icons of Lucifer and vibe. I'll be lurking but not much more than that.
#Sorry to people waiting but I am just VERY tired#and often I have issues with randomly blacking out and it makes me feel gross so it's hard to do things that require actual brain power#ooc || the birb speaks
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like not to be crazy but life yesterday for me was just wake up 9am class sit edit (see film friends briefly so yippee yay) oh my god thank god the little bit of time i sat outside in the sun but then class till 5pm walk to store w sam for their shit to be way too pricey to be worth it lmao um not even get on bus till 5:45 call parents around 6:45 dont get off phone with dad till after 8:30. um. watch tv with lydia for a little bit smoke make a shitty little dinner bed. idk typing it out it's like oh thats not So bad i had at least a few chill moments. kind of. it still feels bleak though anyone else
#and well yes i had to sit for a while and wait for lydia for the bus#bc i happened to see sam's roommate and two others of that friend group sitting right out front of yk#the building i work at and near the bus stop. and i was just like. oh jesus Christ. i cant do seeing people today esp not 3v1#and sunday i had the most painfully entangled physically awkward run in with this girl who is also friends w them. whom i met that one#rlly weird night but we didnt even really meet we were just in each others vicinity enough to make eye contact and be like um hi ig yk#anyway tiny br and my bookbag is like a foot and a half deep rn so i went to hang it up and wash my hands and the straps get all messed#up w hers and i walk over to be like omg im so sorry but she has headphones on as do i but i thought she at least saw me grab my bag#and put it on and then i opened the door for her bc i literally did not have room i would have run into her and she still managed to#like squished cause its cramped and almost smack the door/me again and i was just so fucking tired and gross after work like girl i am not#a person rn... yk.... anyways. none of that really mattered but it's stuff that happened in the periphery of like life idk#abby talks#i need enrichment so bad. but preceded and followed by so much rest
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3 weeks of this migraine I want to d**
#still trying so hard to function but I'm so tired of this I just want to cry#I can't take this pain anymore#I can't even watch ptd or gif or do anything fun I enjoy doing because my head feels so terrible#and all the while I feel like no one really believes how much pain I am in#I'm so anxious all the time too because it feels like this will never pass#anyway tmi I'm sorry but I'm just feeling so nauseous and sick and gross
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#vent again just ignore please and thank you. chewing at my arm. ik why we have to wait till next year for me to get help i do know why and#i understand but it also just sucks. its at least helping though no matter what i just gotta hold on but i rly dont want to hold on anymore#id say i sound pathetic or worthless but im not. ik im not. talked about mental health with my best friend today snd idk made me so self#aware of myself i feel gross and ugly. i cant even look in mirror by how ugly i am. i want to drink. i really want to drink. it sucks.#ditched or the person seems bored.. there's no point lmai.#the craving sucks. im sleepin almost all day and than night fucking sucks. i should be sleeping now but i need to write my thoughts out or#i will feel worse i will feel so much worse snd i dont want to be a burden. i dont want to bother people. i hope when im like.. getting hel#and getting better i hope i can like idk not be afraid to ask people to vibe with me. maybe one day but im so scared amount i have been#and sorry tired of hearing same 'just do something distract yourself' yeah only so much a distraction is s distraction. i never felt this#low.. i never felt this low for months now. im so tired idk this week is busy maybe that will help. maybe decorating for my fav holiday wil#help my brain a little. than again why would she want me around. i think about how dad asked mom if i was okay on my birthday. is the facad#fading? are people catching on? i need to stop before i see my brother on friday. even my best friend noticed he hugged me but i didnt even#hug back i just leaned into him for awhile before moving away. i want to die. will i? no. i wont. im too scared. but i want to.#i can sleep now.#i think people should stop lying i hate liars i am not afraid to drop anyone that does.
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Actually I'm not done whining in the tags of my posts
#im just so TIRED okay#i want it to be fucking done#i want it to be dropped i want it to just not matter anymore#i dont understand why what im doing is problematic#im just existing. im just spending time with my loved ones. im just being creative.#im figuring out what my life looks like now and i love it so far#so im not looking to revert. im not looking to go back to how it used to be#bc how it used to be just...wasnt good for me.#and i only did it bc im mentally unwell and unable to tell when im ruining myself until its too goddamn late#so forgive me for enforcing my boundaries. forgive me for standing my ground and living my life.#i need my comforts too#i need to be happy too#sorry that our ideas of happiness seem to clash.#feel like im in a fucking drama show actually. why am i being all gross in my tags#probably bc im being sassy and inflammatory without saying anything abt who im talking abt FBSKCBDKFN#iykyk. if you dont....then mind your business#im just tired of the irony and hypocrisy and blatant disregard for how i might be feeling#and tbh. these posts are abt multiple ppl actually#exhausting that it is that way. but it is what it is i guess
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Suggestive 18+, sub yandere as always.
Clumsy yandere, who constantly looked at you with lovesick eyes. Following you everywhere and basically worshipping the ground you walked on. Every item that you touched was sacred, added to his little shrine. Every angle of you was a picture in his poorly made scrapbook.
He'd accidentally bump his drink into random nobodies while he was busy trying to get a sniff of your divine scent. Frustrated that his clumsiness led him to losing sight of your fleeting figure.
You tried your best to ignore him. The loud thud of him falling over objects or his small "oof" when he bumped into walls never went unnoticed by you.
He'd instinctively apologize to the inanimate articles and walk away awkwardly. Ashamed of the attention he drew to himself.
You finally decided to confront him, getting tired of watching him trip over his shoelaces and timidly fleeing the scene. "What's the matter with you? Why are you such a klutz?"
He had no idea how to answer that. It was as if he was cursed to be so uncordinated ever since he was born. He chuckled and shrugged you off with a joke about bad luck. Hand brushing against yours while you helped him up. He had never felt so warm— his cheeks flushed scarlet as a heat wave traveled through his body, building awkward sweat.
You didn't understand how you managed to make his knees buckle with your mere presence. He'd trip over nothing, ending up injured at your feet. Looking up at you with glistened eyes and a dumb smile. It took everything in you to not step on his pitiful face.
"Guess you could say... I, uh, fell for you?" His laughter triggered another eye roll from you. It was truly pathetic how he thought that he could win you over one day. After all, his luck was bad. Very, very bad.
He kept getting caught by you doing the most unhinged things. Sniffing your dirty laundry. Stealing your useless trash. Lurking around your place at strange times.
Denying the truth from you always got him nowhere, so he'd try to confess over and over of how much he loved the little things about you. Sounding incoherent as he stumbled and jumped between words.
"I just can't– s-staying away from you is like– I mean, I am so sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, master. N-no, wait, I... I didn't mean to say that–"
Loud drums of his heartbeat banged in his ear every time your eyes met. The angry look on your face making his stomach twist with glee. You were looking at him. Paying attention to him. He finally felt noticed.
“I didn't do anything terrible this time! Just stole your straw. Is that bad?" He'd say in an ashamed voice— head down, eyes studying the ground. His sweaty, shaky fingers fiddled with each other as he waited for your verdict.
You forced him to throw the object in the bin. He felt like a scolded puppy as you lectured him about his creepy behavior. Only if you knew the thoughts going on his head, you'd slap him without hesitation.
He had a detailed diary about all the little things about you that he loved. Each physical and personality characteristic was intricated in unusually specific details. Of course, his terrible curse led him to accidentally lose it at your place the first time he broke in.
Not only did he get an injury collapsing on your floor— running away when he heard your security system— but he also exposed you to his most disturbing private thoughts.
Pages and pages of your name and doodled hearts. I love you's and perverted fantasies written all over. Scribbles of how he wanted to carve your name into his skin. Feel you inside his veins. Finally belong to you and only you~♡.
You were disgusted. Particularly grossed out (and a bit turned on) at all the sexual positions he wrote about. The shameless smut written like he had already experienced it. Most of it about rough punishment that made your mouth agape.
No matter how hard you tried to avoid him after that, he was always there. With a weary expression and a bruised body. His fearful gaze had changed to something cloudy and crazed. Like at any point, he would break.
The tension between you grew each day, and so you invited him over to talk. Feeling the need to do something about the lustful glances exchanged.
Then he did it again— ruined everything with his clumsiness. He brought over a drugged drink. Your favorite flavor with an addition of something that'll aid in kidnapping. Before he could hand you it over, he collapsed on you. The cup spilled and flooded the ground, turning the tiles slippery.
When you opened your eyes, you found yourself to be okay. Sighing relief as no weird cliché kissing moment happened. Instead, warm breaths fanned your thighs. The clumsy yandere faced with a sight he had only imagined.
Your smell flooded his nose, and his eyes shut in ecstasy. He felt as if this was the best thing that ever happened to him. Maybe his luck wasn't all that bad.
"I-I'm so sorry-" You could barely hear his muffle words, the vibration of his voice sending shivers right through you. Your thoughts unclear with the feeling of his mouth moving on your crotch. "S-so sorry."
"Nngh—" Your legs wrapped around his neck to hold him there. Hand reaching down to hold his head there, earning a small yelp from him. "You already made a fool of yourself. Use that mouth for something better and show me how sorry you are."
"T-thank you! Thank you so much. Please... please give me a chance to worship you like you deserve it!"
That was all he needed to stop hesitantkng and create a wet stain on the fabric of your front. Moaning each time his tongue felt a little bit of your private through the pjs. The grinding against his face making his pants feel tighter than ever. He never made a good stalker, but he sure did make the best toy.
#yandere#desperate yandere#yandere oc#obsessive love#yanblr#pathetic yandere#dom reader#male yandere#pathetic men#sub yandere#male yandere x you#yandere x y/n#yandere x reader#yandere male#yandere boy#obsessive yandere
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