#sorry that my life update sucks

[ano-po]

Kwarenta Dias

Tadhana ko ba'ng mag-isa?

Walang tadhana, aking paniniwala. Kung ang Diyos ay totoo, wala Siyang pakialam. Sino ba naman ako para bigyan ng kaukulang panahon ng Maykapal? Ayos lang akong mag-isa. Ayos lang akong manahimik.

Nung dumating ka sa buhay ko, bigla akong naniwala, na siguro ay may paki sakin ang mga langit. Araw-araw masaya, araw-araw umiibig, araw-araw iniibig. Sa mapag-isa kong pagkatao, sa pangit kong ugali, may isang taong minahal ako ng buong-buo. Nasabi ko sa aking sarili, kahit hindi ko kayang aminin sa iyo, kung lahat ng tao ay nagmamahal ng ganito, mas masaya siguro ang mundo.

Sa kaarawan ko nang ika'y ibinigay. Sa kaarawan ko din nung kami ay nagdarasal sa sementeryo para sa iyong kwarenta dias.

Minsan tumutunganga. Bakit ikaw? Bakit ako? Bakit tayo? Ano'ng aral ang nais nilang matutunan ko? Wala, walang aral ang buhay. Maaari ko namang matutunan lahat nang magkasama tayo. Bakit.

Minsan umiiyak. Dalawang oras sa jeepney, walang magawa kundi maalala ka, na sana magkasama tayo, na sana nasa motorsiklo mo akap akap ang likod mo, habang tumatawa ka sa mga paulit ulit kong kanta.

Minsan nagtataka. Kung sino ba ako bago ka makilala, kung sino ba ako nung tayo'y magkasama, kung sino ba ako ngayon na wala ka na. Hindi ko na sila kilala.

Habang buhay, isinumpa akong may mabigat na bangin sa puso na hindi ko ginusto. Hindi ko matatanggap na ang buhay ay ganito. Ayokong makalimutan na ikaw at ako ay pinagtagpo, para lang mapaghiwalay sa saktong isang taon.

[nocanonhere]

Let me get this straight and make a list: Wyll fans asking for bug fixes, more content as was provided to other characters, and a complete storyline is the same as:

- wanting no one else to have content

- wanting other characters removed from the game entirely

- asking for Wyll to have the same writer(s) as other characters (like, huh?)

- being entitled

- being aggressive (hahaaa)

- being ungrateful

- harassment toward Larian

- accosting fans of other characters

- being racist toward other characters (hahaaa)

I could go on, but i won’t because it’s been 84 years and the same fucking people are conflating the same arguments:

Wanting a fair amount of content for Wyll does not mean wanting less for anyone else

[windydrawallday]

Long-PSA-short of sorts that's more a vent: I was always aware my behavior and way of expressing myself online can surprise many people, especially if they are not used to someone who uses the writing medium as a playful form to tell emotions in a very descriptive way as I do. I'm quite affectionate with words, yes. And I always beg people I hang with personally to let me know if some of that bothers them, curtly of course. So far there have been few instances of individuals confusing those signals with ulterior means, things I assure you there's nothing more than me being friendly and supportive.

Imagine idk an excited dog seeing its owner haha

Until the past week, I found myself being tackled by something that made me almost knock everything aside because it made me realize that probably I'm a walking trigger/squick inducer with even the way I wield words like "love" and "friendship".

Almost...

I'm pretty tolerant of whatever way people conduct themselves in this life, the only moment I flinch is when an individual assumes from my default behavior and presentation that I want to impose my way of life... And nopes.

This is simply how and who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't search for conflict but for understanding. My language for expressing marvel and reflections is like this, never to make the other feel awkward or attacked.

So, it upset me knowing that by wielding this forever welcoming and lovable disposition, I can be something to fear and even despite... to some people.

But, you know? That means that my "love" and "friendship" lifestyle are not made for you, no reason to come back to me and point at it. Just keep walking if you have only rage and rejection to give as a reply to my point of view. Because by wielding rage and rejection, what you only do is burn bridges. To create conflict and assume imaginary antagonistic scenarios where there's nothing of that at all.

You can't create the world you wish to live in by burning bridges.

It took me a lot too to forge who I am right now. I even keep learning and chiseling through traumas and mistakes—kindness and patience taught me more than rage and rejection. And "love" and "friendship" are the bricks I chose to build those bridges. I know everyone else uses different concepts but in the end, we all build bridges. By creating bridges and inviting others to do the same, I expand not only my world, but the other's too!

Isn't that better than demanding to be this or that through a black/white flag of rage and rejection? I think so. And I understand perfectly we sometimes need to be blunt when marking our boundaries. Still, never justifies treating the other bad.

And if some of you find "fake" or distasteful the way I wear this flag of "love" and "friendship" I'm sorry: this place will never be safe for you then. The exit door is always open. Go ahead.

I hope you find your place and flags out there too, but don't forget that to do that you need to build bridges. If you don't want to call it "friendship" call it "glue" or whatever makes you comfortable, but don't kick people like me who fought with claws and teeth to reclaim those words and feelings.

Fight your fight by being a good example, not a bad experience that makes someone never want to deal with something like this again in their life.

"Any color you like, (in the end) they're all blue."

[iholli]

glaring directly into the sun as I write them into my unpublished f/o list

[stranger-awakening]

can i ask y'all something??? if your best friend stopped talking you for weeks and weeks at a time and the few messages you did get from them were just 'sorry things suck i'll be back soon' before disappearing again without any indication of what was wrong or how you can help and this happened consistently and there was nothing you could do about it how long would it take you to lose your mind??? a few weeks??? a few months??? would you feel justified to admit that you were by august???

[radiokathryn-if]

Hi just wanted go know if this IF is cancelled. No demo and 2 months radio silence.

who knows?

...

i wanted to be petty and leave it at that but... I can't find it in me to be completely mean. i'll be honest and say that I haven't touched this project in months and I'm not sure when i'll start on it again but! I haven't given up on it just yet!!

( I don't recall making any promises and I make no further ones, but this isn't something I've forgotten about or abandoned... just yet. )

[jinxedfuture]

Hello everyone my only introduction to tumblr is im known as the guy that draws the hisoillu mermaid au [merhisoillu] and i hope thats how im known and remembered on here too ✌

[gildedmuse]

For anyone who donated to Diesel's bills, I want you to know I WILL be starting on those projects.

While we were not able to afford the surgery, I was able to afford a vet visit and antibiotics and I did everything they told me including holding a heating pack to the wound for 15 minutes every night and as you can see, the little angel is doing so much better!

I am deeply eternally thankful for what donations I received, and I apologize that it's taken me so long to do.... anything. Anyone who follows the blog knows I deal with my own health issues. They've caused me to lose my job (turns out throwing up at your desk is a faux pas, even if you tell them about your sickness at your interview, even if other people work from home with weak excuses but you're not allowed because "your history of getting sick". ) due to the opioid endemic and my age - I'm under 50 - they only intended the pain meds as a "temporary" fix for a chronic, genetic problem that has no cure short of getting my kidneys replaced. So I'm relearning after two years how to live in full time pain.

I hope you can stay patient with me. I am so thankful for all help and well wishes, I honestly wish I could write for everyone who even promoted my original post. When he was brought to me, I just quit my job and gave my sister all my savings for his surgery and then suddenly, from nowhere, she drove up and left two dogs with me. Turns out that's a lot of expenses, especially when one needed a second surgery. It's honestly thanks to the support I received I was able to get Diesel into a vet; I still haven't been able to take his sister in to see anyone, and my sister didn't leave any of her records, but she seems happy and healthy. According to my mom, they are happier with me now that they're not kept in crates (plus I spoil them pretty heavy with pets and walks; I can barely afford the kidney meds and food the boy needs but damn if I can't pet him for hours!)

I just want to thank everyone once again, and promise you're requests have not been forgotten.

I know it's selfish to ask, but I just need a little more time to adjust to my old pain levels and try and find a passable way to make a living while dealing with this pain (the reason I was given pain meds in the first place was because I worked; the deal was, I found a job I thought I could work so they'd give me pain meds, but without a job, obviously, there is no reason for me not to be in pain. And the pain grew bad enough that I was unable to continue work). But I am so, so thankful and I have not forgotten. I've just had to adjust to a very new lifestyle, and I am so sorry about the delay.

Thank you again, I promise I won't disappoint.

[resvarie]

autism event so bad it put me in a catatonic state for a week

[killershrike]

Hey guys! So I unfortunately suffered a house fire this morning as well as pretty traumatic emotional fall out, and am still very anxious as things are not completely settled and I just don't feel secure and worry about not having a home, not trying to be all Woe Is Me, I'm just giving everyone an update for Dark Suspension <3 i'm still going to keep writing today at some point. But I did burn my leg and blister my fingers, it's not terrible but now that the adrenaline is wearing off I'm starting to really feel them hahaha. I'm gonna bandage up my fingers and hopefully try to write! I'm really still shooting for a Monday upload, I'm so so so sorry if I miss it. I would say the chapter is maybe 60% done, all it needs are more description added plus more editing and then it'll be good to post! So either way it shouldn't be too long, thank you guys for understanding and I really hope you don't mind the wait!

Burnt pictures of my roommate's couch LMAO. I lost a bunch of really dear stuff to my heart, but of course, the only thing that got damaged of my roommate's was his couch. Ain't that a bitch?

One of my favorite blankets ever, like 50 bucks literally up in smoke you can't make this shit up that's so fucking funny and fucked up I'm laughing so I don't keep crying

[triglycercule]

am i allowed to post headcanons for jk fashion au. will people riot and scream at me not to post because its a waste. this is my own au this would be considered canon (i still have to get used to that. i'm a CREATOR now!). triglycercule this is literally your account why do you worry about if what you post bothers people. idk man i just worry like that,,,, anyways i have so many fucking hcs for jk fashion au that i cant draw without taking an obscenely long time on it so i guess i'm just gonna make this into one big stupid little reblog thread or edit and add onto this when i can (because if i keep making seperate posts about it and then lose track of the hcs i think i'm gonna kill myself) starting with these one :3

jk!nightmare often dances to audios she finds "cool" and stuff like that. i dont know an example of this but just imagine the coolest anime ending or opening soundtrack you could think of. anyways she's not very quiet about this. she sings loudly. and not all that well (NOT THAT SHE HAS A BAD VOICE JUST THAT,,,,, its not the best!) and the dreamtale residence has thin walls. so jk!dream often has to tell her to quiet down because their parents dont wanna hear the noise or whatever. and it turns into a very awkward stareoff between dream and nightmare when dream catches her in the middle of dancing and singing. very awkward. nightmare's eye goes all staremare mode because it would be funny. she's in her "corrupted form" for this so she can get into the right vibes. ans dream just smiles and sighs and offers to dance and sing with her until she gets it right as long as sh lowers the volume. and nightmare is absolutely touched by this because goddamn i would too like,,,,, and then they have a silly dance practice session and sing together sillily and its sweet and cute and amazing and dream is a great dancer ans nightmare isn't sll that good but dream helps her and doesn't judge and thats all nightmare wants (aside from being able to actually get the damn dance move right DAMN IT MOVE FEET!!!! stop dragging around,,,,,)

jk nightmare likes to think she's nocturnal or some bullshit like that. or like she stays up at abyssmal times because the moon is out and the negative energy at night is impeccably high or some cringe shit like that (LMAO) so when she goes to the book club i mean her gang she regularly takes naps there. except she also has a high enough ego not to just sleep on some lousy desk so the jk mtt brought in a beanbag into the clubroom and killer bought their stupid fucking sleeping mask for nightmare to wear. the design on it is up to interpretation but i like to think its like two giant googly eyes looking in opposite directions but like totally bedazzled because jk nightmare wants nothing less

like this! except i totally just fucking stole this from honkai impact but it fits okay it fits

anyways naptime for jk nightmare :3 and then when she wakes up the clubroom is in like total disarray with horror chasing killer for some bullshit she pulled and dust trying to flip over all the flipped over desks and shes just like what the fuck happened while she was asleep. cant do NOTHING with these damn goons of hers she should've hired others (theyre yiur friends silly dont be like that,,,,)

jk killer does those "today's mission" tiktoks. i've had this on my mind but it clicked for me that jk killer would do this when the mission for the day (i think this was yesterday) was to casually mention in conversation that you shit yourself. THIS ONE https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNoDfpJt/ its such a funny fucking idea i can just imagine the absolute DISGUST EVERYONE would show on their faces. even dream frowns at killer and shes supposed to be perfect 😭😭😭

jk killer forces horror and dust to be in her selfies or videos or whatever the hell she wants to post but neither of them want to be shown online but she also wants to show off her fun moments with her totally cool best friends so she spends a lot of time manually editing emojis over their faces. even the videos. all of them

when jk dream comes to visit the gang and the clubroom usually the gang is in the middle of some sort of chaos and nightmare want to appear calm and collected and cool infront of her little sister so she immediately tries to get the trio to settle down. jk mtt still crack jokes at her expense though

jk dust and jk dream exchange letters with eachother. why? idk i just think that dream would collect those wax seal things (nightmare uses them too but dream's the main collector) and she needs to use them and dust has an interest in stationary so wax sealed letters,,,, stationary,,,, PEN PALS!!! they both have pen pal nicknames for eachother although i cant come up with them rn so whatever its up to interpretation

jk horror often just like. spots jk dream. like out in the wild for no reason its kind just like encountering a pokemon except ive never interacted with any pokemon content so i dont know much about how wild interactions like that go. anyways usually dreams doing some sort of vollunteer work and horror just comes up to her to causally chat. usually when horror's around others that aren't dust or killer she has to force herself to act nice but with dream she's just so naturally nice that it kinda rubs off on horror and she doesn't really act fake nice,,,, its cute. after dreams doing what they go out for ice cream together because theyre friends ans its cute and horror usually pays because dream does a shitton of work for no pay and she doesn't need more money stolen from her. this one is so cute :3

ok thats all i can think of for now. will be updating soon when i come up with more

average jk nm's gang conversation (nightmare doesn't know how to continue the sentence she just spoke in her fake fancy talk and the jk mtt are dogging her for it)

[an-theduckin]

Btw ik it's been a rlly long time since I've updated the a day in the life of mark fanfic (it's been 1 month and 5 days) but I'm fr working on it alr it's just cuz writers block + imposter syndrome + the first few chapters after chapter 10 being the most confusing ass chapters ever n I'm still tryna figure out out to do the pacing of them n stuff. I'm rlly genuinely sorry it's taken this long I didn't think that would happen it was only supposed to be like a 2 week break. So yeag I'm really sorry about that

[iatecroisant]

TW: SUIC*DAL THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS!!!!

Looking my sister dead in the eyes as she says that she's proud of me for not hating her for who she voted for. Looking my sister dead in the eyes and not saying anything as I know that I'm already planning to kill myself in the upcoming months because of the outcome of this election.

[erveinangel]

// Divergent Universe thoughts in tags.

[crybaby-bkg]

my niece wasn’t feeling good today so I picked her up and held her until she fell asleep and everything was all cute and sweet right………………why did she shit in my bed 🧍🏽‍♀️

[crows-home]

about to have one of the most taxing days tomorrow. nevertheless. we persist gamers 💪