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aster-aspera · 3 years ago

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It’s just my skin

@badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: loss of hearing

Pairings: (platonic) jonmartim

Warnings: claustrophobia, hospitals, hearing loss

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The aftermath isn’t as quiet as Tim thought it would be.

Maybe it’s the fact that he isn’t dead even though he should be, maybe it’s the dreadful ringing in his ear, maybe it’s the way his chest is heaving in gasping breaths he can’t hear.

There’s a thousand pounds of stone pressing down on his back and somewhere far above him he can feel the ground rumble and shift. He can’t even find it in himself to worry about the whole place coming down. He wasn't planning on making it out alive either way.

He thinks he floats in and out of consciousness for a bit. Time seems to wind and stretch and loop back, only the rubble on his back and the incessant ringing to keep him company.

Something shifts eventually, a change in the air at first, the darkness becoming just a bit softer, a bit less cloying.

And then there are hands and stretchers and needles and people pulling and prodding him and over it all is still that high pitched ringing, rising higher and higher into an impossible crescendo. He thinks they ask him things, he is sure he sees their lips moving and their expectant gazes. He thinks he tries to say something, but his lips feel awkward and unwieldy.

Everything goes dark after that. A cool blessed darkness where he just floats, no stone, no rubble, no dust, just peace.

He thinks about Danny for a while, and the ritual and the burning collapse of it all and the way Sasha smiled at him every morning when he came into the archives. Then he just sleeps.

He wakes up a bit more coherent the next time. The ringing isn’t gone yet, but at least his brain doesn’t feel like it’s through different planes of dimensions at a hundred kilometres per hour anymore. At least now he can breathe without the dust clogging his lungs.

He looks around the overbright hospital room, the disconnected monitor and the IV dripping a clear fluid into his veins. There’s a bouquet of orange flowers on the bedside table. Probably from Martin, he thinks bitterly. There’s no one else who would go through the trouble.

Martin walks into his room at some point and Tim wonders why he’s here and not hovering around Jon like some lost puppy. Maybe Jon didn’t make it out of the explosion.

Something sharp and painful shoots through Tim’s chest at the thought and he does his best not to examine it too closely.

He looks up at Martin, whose lips are moving as he fusses with the flowers on the little table. Tim stares up at him uncomprehendingly, waiting for sound to come through, waiting for that unbearable ringing to resolve itself into something he can understand.

It doesn’t.

“I can’t hear,” He says, his lips forming the words, his vocal cords vibrating, but no sound comes out, not to him at least. Martin looks up at him with concern, his mouth moving in shapes that should have been familiar, had they been accompanied by the right noises.

“I can’t hear,” Tim says again. And this time, it doesn’t come out half as controlled. He can feel something very close to panic crawling it’s way up his throat and he doesn’t quite manage to swallow it down.

Martin presumably says something else, before giving up and typing something on his phone, shoving it into Tim’s hands before stalking out of the room.

Getting a doctor, stay here

Well of course he’s going to stay here, does Martin really think he’s going to wander around London when he’s just survived an explosion? He isn’t Jon.

He waits impatiently in his bed, rubbing the uncomfortably thin hospital sheets between his fingers and trying to adjust the flat pillows so he can sit up.

Eventually the doctors come in and once again, it’s back to being poked and prodded. Doctors examining his ears and brain and all the million scans they take, with Martin occasionally coming in to hover over him, bringing along coffee from the cafeteria.

In the end, the verdict is predictable. Permanent damage from his proximity to the explosion. Figures he couldn’t just walk out of that unscathed.

And most people would probably consider being permanently deaf better than being dead. Tim wasn’t too sure he agreed with them yet.

They let him go home eventually, with a whole laundry list of instructions on how to care for himself. Tim throws the papers into a corner as soon as he gets home. He’ll be fine, he’s survived Jane Prentiss, he can survive this. And it isn’t like it matters much.

His phone buzzes to life when he sticks it into the socket, all the messages he missed streaming in at once, a tidal wave of promotional mails and push notifications. He’s half tempted to just shut it off again when he notices one text notification between all the others.

Jon

Martin had told him he was alive, of course. But something about seeing his name displayed black on white on his phone screen drives the point home in a way Martin’s scribbled notes hadn’t done. Something sharp and hot shoots through his chest and he wants desperately for it to be that familiar anger that carried him through the last few months.

But as he lets his head fall back onto the couch, he can’t quite feel it burn the same, and without its familiar warmth, he feels hollow in a way he hasn’t since Danny died.

He swipes away the message without reading it and curls up on the couch, pulling an old, dusty blanket over himself and shutting his eyes. He tries not to think too much of the darkness after the explosion, of the plaster dust swirling through the air and settling in his lungs, of the stone crushing his limbs at awkward angles.

A dark apartment isn’t much like a collapsed building but his brain doesn’t care when it brings up vivid images of his time under the rubble. Despite it all, he does eventually drift into the comforting darkness of sleep, his slumber taking the pain and weariness out of his bones for just a moment.

It’s peaceful, till he wakes up gasping from a nightmare.

His desk rattles slightly when a heavy book is dropped on it and Tim looks up in annoyance, ignoring the painful squeezing in his chest when he meets Jon’s tired, regretful eyes.

‘Learning sign’ The book proclaims and Tim feels irritation bubbling up.

“Fuck off,” He says, focusing his attention once again on his desk.

‘I know sign, I can help, or at least recommend you some classes/books’ Jon informs him through the notes app on his phone.

“I don’t need your help.”

‘I know you don’t, but I’d like to'

“Why? So you can feel better about everything that happened? You think this is going to fix it?”

‘I’m sorry Tim’

“Sorry is too late,” he bites out, shoving out of his chair roughly. He tries to move past Jon, make it out of this stifling, dusty room, get somewhere it doesn’t feel like the walls are watching him.

A rough, calloused hand shoots out, wraps around his wrist like a vice. Jon’s eyes are dark with concern and Tim feels an odd anger at the expression. How can he show so much empathy after everything that happened?

He looks at the hand wrapped around his wrist and suddenly, it’s all just too much.

The deafening ringing in his ears, this wretched place that trapped him and choked him and took his best friend from him. And Jon, eyes still hopeful, still compassionate, after Tim had blamed him and hurt him for months on end.

“Go away,” He tries to say and he doesn’t even make it to the first syllable before his voice betrays him with a choked sob. A shudder runs through him and he looks down at the wooden floor, trying to compose himself.

The grief has never felt as all consuming as it does in this moment and it chokes and burns and pulls him under all at once.

And then, there are arms around him. A familiar touch, a familiar weight, from days so long ago Tim can barely remember them. The first touch that isn’t hostile, the first comfort he has felt in so long.

And it’s all from the man he’s tried to hate for months.

His hands curl themselves tightly into Jon’s cardigan and he buries his face in his shoulder, biting back tears with all his might. It doesn’t do much good against the tidal wave of emotions sweeping through him and soon he’s shaking all over with the sobs that wrack through his body.

Jon’s hand comes up in a familiar movement, brushing through Tim’s messed up curls. It’s hesitant at first, as if Tim will yell at him again, but when he makes no motion to do so, only melting deeper into the hold, the fingers carding through his hair become surer.

There’s a rumble against his cheek as Jon says something and Tim wishes desperately he could still hear it, hear Jon’s sure and steadying voice.

He remembers when, near the beginning of it all, he would stand in the corridor outside of Jon’s office and listen as his voice drifted through the halls, all the pain and fear and emotions painted so clearly on it. He’d always thought Jon a bit ridiculous for the way he read those statements. Now he just wished he could hear it one more time.

He closes his eyes as the loss of his family and his friend and even his hearing tear through his chest, leaving him shattered and shaking.

Jon’s chest rumbles again and Tim presses his cheek into it, pretending for just a moment he can hear a sound that isn’t the awful ringing.

Another pair of hands close around him, softer ones, broader ones. They pull him up gently and he’s not entirely sure how they both ended up on the floor, it probably has something to do with how broad he is and how skinny Jon is.

He’s pulled close against a soft, broad chest and relaxes into it almost immediately. Martin’s safe, he always has been.

He’s deposited gently on the cot, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a warm mug of tea pressed into his hands. He feels a bit like a child, being coddled and carted around. But right now, he can’t find it in himself to care.

He thinks Jon and Martin are saying stuff. Martin’s chest is rumbling against his back and he tilts his face so he can feel it better. Martin runs a comforting hand along his face, brushing away the tears that stick to it.

A hand settles on his knee, comforting and grounding and he’s sure it’s Jon’s. Both of Martin’s hands are occupied holding him together after all.

He closes his eyes. He can deal with the mess of it all tomorrow.

Right now, he just feels safe. His friends are here and that’s enough.

#tma #the magnus archives #magnuspod #tim stoker #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jontim #jonmartim #martim #jonmartin #i do not know how to tag for this fandom yet #anyway tell me if i missed any warnings #bad things happen bingo #my writing

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wavesmp3 · 3 years ago

Text

[ksw] clouds

sunwoo x reader

wc. 5k warnings: medical inaccuracies, death, illness, hospitals, overall just a pretty heavy piece genre can only be described as an absolute mess inspired mainly by san junipero but also slightly by charlie kaufman and wong kar wai

a/n: this is supposed to be told nonlinearly but like the creation of it was very messy so i have no clue if it actually worked, so good luck trying to make this piece make sense of this :)

act iii. scene iii.

Sunwoo sits and watches the sun shift from pink and blue to an impossible shade of green. And it’s then he knows that without a doubt Clara has ruined the color green for him. Because instead of marveling at the color of the sky, Sunwoo is reminded of the doors in her apartment building.

“Thought I might find you here.” The voice of a stranger who Sunwoo loved once upon a time says behind him. He tries like hell not to turn around. Not to lean back towards the voice and wait for your hand on his shoulder or your shin knocking familiarly against his back. He focuses on the waves crashing below instead. The roar of the water beneath him is deafening, but only if you let it be. He does, and he almost forgets that you’re behind him.

“Where’d you go?” You ask, now sitting next to him, tugging at the long grass.

“I’m right here.”

“And what about in there?” You bring a finger up and poke at the side of his forehead.

He turns to you, facing you in full. He takes in your features like it’s the first time all over again. And, oh, he wishes he knew before how many firsts you already had together. This is just another. This is just the first time he’s seen you in the past six months and remembered the thousands of times he’s seen your face before.

He studied your cheeks. The one he now recalls running the back of his palm over after you left for the Cloud.

He memorizes, for the millionth time, your eyes. He used to swear they were darker than they are, but then he saw them in the sun. He was dying back then; then he saw your eyes and you saved him. Just like that.

Mr. Choi was right of course. As he always must be. You and him are like an old married couple. Not like. You are. Almost were.

“I had lunch with Mr. Choi today.” He tells you.

You squint at him. “I know. It’s Thursday.” You pull out a piece of the grass. “What’d he make?”

“Ramen.”

“Was it good?”

“It was okay.”

“Too spicy?”

Suwnoo answers with a sigh, looking away from you and back towards the water. The deafening waves crash against the cliffside. “I know you looked at your file.” He finally says. You stop pulling at the grass. You still. “Mr. Choi told me.”

After he says it, there’s a silence that isn’t actually silent at all. The waves rage below his feet. The seagulls are there too, beneath, above, somewhere, everywhere. And then, of course, there’s you and Sunwoo, trying to be silent over the static in your heads and the machines you’re hooked up to in a universe far far away.

“Did he tell you about my file?”

He looks at you again. “No.”

“Oh.” You look away, brows furrowed, lick your lips, and then turn back to him. “So why are you upset?”

“After he told me, I went and I…”

“You didn’t.”

“I looked at mine.”

There’s another silence, except that this time it really is quiet. Sunwoo read once whilst in a rabbit hole of medical research that true silence only happens in a vacuum, where there is no medium for sound waves to travel through. This must be that. This place, the files, Mr. Choi and Mr. Chan, Clara and her apartment building full of green doors--it’s a vacuum. And they stick people in it then call it the Cloud. They call it extra time. But it isn’t. It’s nothing and he’s stuck in the middle of it. So Sunwo stares at you, straight through the vacuum of time and space you’re both lost in, waits for you to say something, and then waits for himself to hear it.

“You looked?” You finally say, voice folding in on itself.

“Yes.” Sunwoo’s own voice is barely there. You must be reading his lips which you’ve always been good at anyways.

“So you know now?”

“I always knew, and now, I remember.”

act i. scene iv.

There’s been an accident.

That’s what they say when the sun falls out of the sky and the world starts spinning in the wrong direction. It’s how they show up at Sunwoo’s door painted in shades of blue and red, with authority in their arms and hands on their hips. How they prepare him for the looming moment where they rip past his skin, blood, bone to shoot a gun straight at his heart. I’m so sorry for your loss, they say leaving him with a bullet lodged somewhere between his left and right atrium.

And those are the four words that play over and over and over in Sunwoo’s head as he gets to the hospital. Those are the words that crawl inside his open chest and turn him blue and black with infection. There’s been an accident, he remembers, staring at the extraordinary measures taken to keep your heart beating and lungs beating. This is it. Except that the accident isn’t that you’re dying, but that you’re dying. It’s always supposed to have been him. He’s supposed to be the one stuffed with tubes and hooked up to monitors, the one whose life is hanging on by a thread, and you’re supposed to be the one that saves him. It all feels like a play that’s gone horribly wrong because everyone switched parts after intermission without telling him. At what point did you steal the role of dying protagonist from him?

We did everything we could, a stranger in a white coat says. Except that it’s not some stranger, it’s your colleague and co-worker because this is the hospital you work at and the hospital Sunwoo met you in. There was too much damage to the brain, they explain as the image of their tear-stricken face goes from your friend during intern year to the doctor who operated on you as your brain went dead.

“We have two options, right?” Sunwoo is far too familiar with surgery and all this. He knows from his hospital days what’s supposed to happen next. But apparently, things have changed since then.

“Actually, there’s a third option.”

Sunwoo doesn’t waste a second. He jumps out of the chair stained red from his bleeding heart and asks: “What is it?”

“We can upload them.”

act iii. scene ii.

In fifty days of living in the cloud, Sunwoo has learned all about the people that he shares a building with. There’s Mr. Chan who lives behind a vomit green on the same floor as him and who hasn’t left his room since last January. There’s also Mr. Choi, who lives behind the emerald door and invites Suwoo over for lunch every Thursday. Clara lives upstairs, where the walls are painted in various shades of green--olive, seaweed, moss, hunter, shamrock, sage, and others that Sunwoo tries not to think too deeply about. He’s only met Clara once in the past fifty days and has no particular wish to see her again. He hadn’t expected her to be a kid. Cancer, you told him after their introduction in the lobby, poor girl was only seven. As said before, Sunwoo tries not to think about it.

And then of course there’s you behind the forest green door who has been slowly showing him all the good places. There’s the beach where you spent the day making seashell necklaces. The cafe which serves its tea too sweet for him, but sweet enough to be considered your favorite. Sunwoo just gets the chocolate bread. You took him downtown. To a club. The tallest building. And to midtown where the amusement park is.

But his favorite place you’ve taken him so far is the cliffside above the beach, where the waves crash against the rocks in a way that can only be described as violent. That day you and him laid in the grass and stared at the clouds with your heads dangling just over the edge and water spraying the backs of your necks. That day you turned to him and told him you’re sorry. For what, he asked. I’m so sorry you’re sick, you said, but it’s nice to have you around here. I think in a sense, we’ve both been waiting for this. Then, you smiled and stole all of the blood from his body. So yeah, that day, that place--it’s his favorite.

Today, you take him on a hike up a mountain.

“Do you believe in an afterlife?” You ask him after having spent thirty minutes silently staring at the view from the best peak.

“One after this?”

“Yeah. I guess. Although, I’m not so convinced this counts.”

“I don’t know.” Sunwoo shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Do you think we’d be able to be with our loved ones in it?”

His chest lurches. “If there is one, yes.”

“Do you think it’ll be different than this?”

Sunwoo turns to you finally. “Why are you asking about this?”

You shake your head. “Nevermind. It’s a stupid question.”

He turns back towards the view. From here, he can make out Clara’s building. He thinks about her, about Mr. Choi and Mr. Chan, who he recently found out were once married but who haven’t spoken since Mr. Chan read his file in January, and he thinks about you and about him.

“I think,” Sunwoo says, loud enough so that you can hear after wandering a little bit away from him, “that whatever the afterlife is, if it does exist, it’ll be worth it.”

You turn to him, but don’t make any move to come near him again. “And if it doesn’t exist?”

“Then life will have been worth it.”

The corner of your lip lifts. “I like that.”

Sunwoo only nods at the sentiment, and after a long while, he builds enough courage to ask, “you’ve been here a really long time, haven’t you?”

“Time doesn't work as linearly in the cloud as it does in the real world. Sometimes it feels like I got here and then you arrived the very next day.” You turn back towards the view and exhale heavily.

“But yes. I’ve been here for an eternity.”

act ii. scene i.

Before he actually sees you, Sunwoo feels you. Not you, in particular, but something in the distance, a presence in the corner of the room and a pair of eyes watching him from somewhere far away.

The scariest part is how much the feeling doesn’t actually scare him.

Two days after that, he starts to see you in the flesh. He tells himself that his mind is playing tricks on him, that the person he saw in the produce aisle wasn’t actually you at all and was just a stranger with the same hair.

He doesn’t go straight home from the store that day. Instead, he stops by the hospital and checks in on you, but even that doesn’t do anything about the fact that he sees a shadow of you behind the bed.

The day after that, you speak to him. Standing in the middle of his kitchen in broad daylight, you speak, you say hello, and the first thing Sunwoo thinks is that he’s dead.

You aren’t, you reply. You’re a zombie, he reasons, here for my brain. I’m not. A ghost. No. Are you, here Sunwoo falters, fear flooding out of his body to make room for the briefest blotch of hope that’s crushed almost immediately by you saying: I’m not alive, Sunwoo. You saw me in the hospital yesterday.

“So then,” he swallows, “what are you?”

I’m here. You look at him, stare at his face and without a sliver of doubt say, I’m here for you.

Sunwoo knows it’s impossible. You can’t be here. You can’t. And yet, you are.

Three years ago Sunwoo was told he had three months left to live, and he still remembers how impossibly you saved him from the brink of death. He remembers how impossible things happen all the time, and how impossibly possible it is that this is one of them. He steps towards you, touches your face, and feels the real, impossible thing against his hand.

“You’re here.”

On the fifth day of your haunting, Sunwoo finally has the sense to ask why.

Why what?

“Why are you here?”

I’m here for you.

“Stop saying that.”

But I am, you tell him. You asked, and that’s the answer. I’m a doctor, Sunwoo. I’m here for you.

Then, finally, he hears what you’ve been saying for the past five days. You’re here for him.

And the thing about doctors is that they’re there for you when you need them.

“I’m sick.”

Yes, you answer quietly, although it wasn’t a question.

“Again.”

I’m so sorry.

“You’re a hallucination, aren’t you?” Sunwoo’s shocked by how sad that makes him, how disappointing it is. “I’ve been hallucinating.”

Find me in the Cloud, Sunwoo. There’s something I want to say.

You’re gone by the time he gets to the hospital.

act iii. scene i.

Sunwoo stares at the hall of green doors, eyes darting from door to door in an attempt to stare down the shades until they confess which one of them is tea green.

“Clara, the landlord, likes colors.” A voice says from behind him. “Every couple of months she repaints all of the doors in different shades of the same one. Before the green, it was yellow.”

Sunwoo turns around to face you. When your eyes find him, they go blank for the smallest of moments. You give him a look that goes right through him, turning him inside out like you’ve seen the underside of his skin. It irks him.

“I’m Sunwoo. I’m new.”

You gulp. “You’re here.” He doesn’t know what to make of the statement. Do all people in the cloud act like this? “Why?”

Sunwoo nods, maybe you’re not so weird as much as you just have a weird way of posing questions. “I was told I’m sick.”

“I’m sorry.” You say, frowning like you actually might feel back for him.

“Have you been here a while then?” You nod. “Can I ask how long?” You shake your head. Sunwoo doesn’t think too much about it. Instead, he returns your earlier question “Why are you here?”

“Brain dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

You ignore it and point to a door down the hall. “I’m forest green. You?”

“Tea green. But I can’t find-”

You tap the door in front of him. “This one, genius.”

“Oh.” He laughs awkwardly. “Thanks.”

Your mouth parts as if to say something, and your face goes blank again. He feels his skin turning itself inside out because of it. “Have you read your file yet?”

He shakes his head. “I just got here.”

You inhale, softening, and mutter an ‘okay’. You continue down the hall towards your door. Sunwoo is stuck in place. “I can show you around here, if you like. Take you to all the cool places.”

Sunwoo takes you up on it.

A forest green door slams shut down the hallway.

act i. scene ii.

“Thank you for taking me out of the hospital.” Sunwoo says, exhaling. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to a park like this.”

And it’s true, he really can’t. He’s been sick for so long now, and has been through a multitude of treatment plans and too many surgeries. When you’re sick and have 9 surgeons turn you down after asking them to save your life, you forget the joy of being outside and feeling the sun on your skin. You were the first doctor to agree to the surgery. You’re the only doctor to have ever treated Sunwoo like he wasn’t dying, like he was actually going to live.

“You don’t have to thank me. This is good for me too.” You say, head resting against the park bench and eyes closed.

Sunwoo inhales, taking in the park with all his senses. A visceral sort of thing you learn to do as often as possible when you’ve been as close to death as frequently as he has. He feels the wood beneath his body and the grass beneath his feet. He feels the light on his skin and the wind pushing against his arms and nose. He listens to the kids screaming at the playground at the bottom of the hill and to the dogs barking within the dog park beside it. He takes all this in, relishes in it for the last time as a dying person.

You sigh. “One more surgery.”

“And then I’ll be done with this sickness.”

You smile. He pretends not to see. “And then you’ll be done.”

“Thank you for saving my life.”

“Don’t do that.”

“No. Seriously.”

You smile again, this time at him. Sunwoo doesn’t have to pretend not to see. “I haven’t finished saving it yet.”

He leans back against the bench and closes his eyes. “But you will.”

You tap on your coffee cup. “Honestly though, you did more work than me.” Sunwoo frowns while you take a sip. “The other nine doctors you called are good doctors, and they made the same judgement call I would have made for any other patient. No sane doctor would have agreed to treat you. But you were the reason I said yes. You had such faith that you were going to live and so much faith that I could do it that I believed you. I might be the one doing the technical saving, but you, Sunwoo, you’re the one who convinced me to do it. You saved yourself.”

He stares at you. The light hits your eyes like it’s finding a way to break through them. In truth, before Sunwoo got sick, he didn’t think he was scared of death, but he is. He’s terrified of it. Sunwoo realized it two weeks after his diagnosis and the day after he was wrongly told he only had three more months left to live. But now, for the first time since he was diagnosed, he doesn't feel so afraid of it. Despite how far he’s come and how close he is to beating this fucking illness, while staring at the light woven through your eyes, Sunwoo thinks he could live with himself if he dropped dead tonight.

That thought alone, is almost as terrifying as death used to be.

act iii. scene v.

“I saw your ghost, you know.” It’s the first thing Sunwoo has said to you in over two weeks. “It wasn’t actually you though, was it?” You don’t even bother looking up from your cup of tea. Through the silence, Sunwoo orders a coffee.

“I didn’t know that.” The coffee turns lukewarm. “It wasn’t me.” You push an uneaten half of chocolate bread towards him. “It’s in your brain this time. Symptoms can include hallucinations.”

“Think you can still save me?” You can’t. If you know that much, you know he’s out of medical miracles, and that this time, he really won’t survive it. But it’s a joke. And you laugh at it.

“Definitely not. I never really liked neurosurgery.”

And all at once, he’s painfully aware of your friend somewhere in the real world that does like it but watched anyways as your brain died before her, split wide open.

“Anyways, how do you know all of this?” But what Sunwoo really wants to say is brains are killer. Literally. Figuratively.

“I’ve known since we...“ you hesitate, mouth stuck halfway through a word he can’t place. “After last time, I read your chart and looked at your scans.” Sunwoo nods. He expected as much. He doesn’t ask how you got them. “I’m sorry you're sick again.” You say to him quietly. “I’m sorry you’re dying.”

“I’m sorry you’re dead.” As soon as the words have left his mouth, he regrets them. Because you aren’t. And he knows you too well to think you’d look past the technicality.

You scoff, shake your head slightly, and with a spiteful smile say, “Can I say it?”

Sunwoo only sighs. “Let’s start over instead.”

You nod. He pushes the chocolate bread back.

act iii. scene iv.

Mr. Choi was the one to recommend that Sunwoo give you and himself space. It’s been a month since you and him last spoke, since that moment hovering above the waves after he read his file and after he found out you read yours. He misses you, and has been for so long now. Mr. Choi was wrong. Sunwoo’s standing outside your forest green door to prove it.

You open the door before he can knock. There’s no shock in your voice when you say his name, like you’ve been waiting for this day, expecting it.

He looks behind you, at your apartment in Clara’s building that looks just like your apartment in the real world. The same one he cleaned out after you died, still filled with things he gave to your family or donated or took back to his place. He wants to crumble just looking at it again. “Can I come in?”

“It’s only been a month.”

And he knows what you mean by it. Three months is the recommended time off after reading one’s file. To reacclimate, they say, to process. But the insinuation that Sunwoo was supposed to go three months without seeing you makes him feel sick. The insinuation that after a year of being without you in the real world he was supposed to be without you here too, enrages him. Then he remembers how long you’ve been here, and how long you’ve been doing this and feels slightly murderous.

All he says is: “It’s been a lot longer than that for you.”

Your lip twitches. You lock and unlock the open forest green door five times before saying, “Are you sure?”

He nods. You let him in.

Sunwoo used to imagine what it would be like to meet you again in the Cloud one day. He imagined tears and hugs and kisses. He imagined i love you’s and i hate you’s and i miss you. He imagined the scenario more times than can possibly be considered healthy. But he imagined something. He was waiting for the day. Waiting for this day. But this moment, sitting at your round wood table while you boil water for tea, is nothing like the million different ways he imagined seeing you again.

And as you set down two mismatched mugs and take the seat across from him, he doesn’t even try to create one of them. “How long has it been since you read your file?”

You watch the steam rise from your tea for a long moment, then stand, grab the sugar and pour a spoonful of it into your tea. You take another spoonful and look at him expectantly. “Want some?” He nods, and you pour the sugar into his. You stir the tea then taste, then cringe, then add more sugar and then ask if he wants it. He refuses. You stir again. Sunwoo watches the whirlpool and waits the eternity it takes you to say: “I read it on my first day.”

You put the sugar away, satisfied with the tea’s sweetness while Sunwoo marvels at how long you’ve known and how silently you’ve been carrying the knowledge of you and him since he came. And that knowledge is what makes him finally remember one of the reasons he came. “Is there something you want to tell me?” You look up at him when he asks it, exhaling like you’ve been wanting to bring it up for so long now, which Sunwoo guesses isn’t as much of a simile as he thinks it is.

“Yes, actually. I…” you hesitate, flicking the mug as if the right words will come hopping out of the tea. Sunwoo watches for it. “I’ve just been here for a long time now, Sunwoo.”

“Two years isn’t that long.”

“Time doesn’t work the same here as it does down there.” You tell him tiredly. “It’s been decades.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“In the beginning, I didn’t mind the waiting. I knew you were on your way, but I just,” you hesitate, “I didn’t think it’d take so long for you to come back to me.”

Sunwoo covers your hand with his. “I’m sorry.” You twist your palm into it, squeeze, then pull your hand away. Sunwoo swallows. “I came as fast as I could.”

“I know. I waited.”

“Do you regret it?” Sunwoo’s terrified of what the answer might be.

You don’t give it. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then?”

“I’ve been here for so long, and,” your head drops, voice breaking under the weight it carries, “it’s been so lonely.”

“But I’m here now.” Sunwoo says, leaning forward against the table. “You aren’t alone anymore.”

“I know you’re here. I know, and I thought that would fix it, but it didn’t. Seeing you in the hall that day was so bittersweet, because you were here but that also meant you were somewhere else dying. Because you were here and I still felt lonely.” You stop, chugg the remaining bits of your tea, and then wipe your cheeks. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

“No.” But it’s a lie. He does get it. He knows all about loneliness and the way it creeps inside, so slyly. The way it starts small and then grows, feeding on negligence, until it's too big for your body. He knows how it sits inside you, for all its enormity, and spills into everything. He knows how it lingers. How it has nothing to do with people or lack of them and everything to do with grief. Sunwoo knows all about loneliness. The day he read his file he felt a dam of it burst open within him.

“I’m saying that in the real world I saved you, and now it’s your turn to save me.” You gulp. “I’m saying that I want you to unplug me.”

It takes a moment for Sunwoo to even register what you’ve said, but when he does remember the life support that’s keeping your body alive somewhere in a universe far away, he doesn’t say anything. He just stands and walks out of your apartment.

act i. scene iii.

“Doctor, please present.” The attending announces, stepping into Sunwoo’s room for rounds.

“Mr. Kim,” a resident starts, flipping open his chart, “was diagnosed 14 months ago and has gone through several different treatment plans. When he came to us, the illness had spread and was deemed inoperable and untreatable by several other physicians. Our treatment plan was aggressive and grueling but ultimately, effective. Sunwoo is 20 days post op from his third and final surgery. The surgery went extremely well with no complications and his vitals were excellent. He has been a model patient all throughout recovery, and according to our latest scans, he is also now illness free…”

Sunwoo doesn’t even bother listening to the rest.

“So, now that I’m no longer a patient, if I ask you out on a date, will you actually say yes?”

“Well,” you say, signing his discharge papers, “only one way to know.”

“What is it?”

You look up at him, smiling. “Ask me again.”

He does.

You say yes.

act iii. scene v. take ii.

“I saw your ghost.” The first thing Sunwoo says after the last failed attempt.

You look up from your tea. “It wasn’t me.”

“I know.” Sunwoo orders another coffee. “But the hallucination was how I knew I was sick again. It made me feel like you were trying to warn me, like you were up here somewhere caring from a distance. Right after I pieced it all together you told me to find you here and that there was something you wanted to say.” The coffee turns lukewarm again. Sunwoo can’t bring himself to say it. You sigh and push the same piece of chocolate bread back towards him. This time, he takes a bite from it. And with a mouthful of chocolate bread, he cries, “I just got you back, and now you want to leave all over again.”

You frown. “I didn’t want to leave the first time, and it’s different now.”

“How?”

“I want to go. Isn’t that worth something?”

“And what about what I want?”

“Oh, Sunwoo,” you say, “I’m sorry you’re sick. The hallucination was you and your head, but for what it’s worth, I have been up here caring from a distance. I still…” you don’t need to say the words. He knows. He never had to doubt it. “I never stopped.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you asked of me.” Sunwoo tells you. He made the decision last week but today, right now, with your confession still falling through the air, is the first time he’s had the stomach to swallow it. “And I’ll do it. I will. I just need some time. You’ve had so long and in comparison I’ve had nothing.”

“Okay.” You say simply.

“How long can you give me?”

You smile. “You know I’d give you an eternity if you asked for it.”

“I’m scared.” Sunwoo confesses then. “I know it’s what you want, but selfishly, I don’t want to let you again. I don’t know if I’m a big enough person to do it.”

“I do.” You say to him, leaning forward against the table and looking straight through him. “I know because I was your doctor. I have cut inside your body, seen all your organs, and during surgery two, I held your heart in my hands. I felt it beating. So I know exactly how big it is, and I know it’s big enough for this”

Sunwoo feels the heart you worked so hard to repair bursting inside of him.

“God. Why’d you have to read your file so soon?”

You laugh. “I missed you. I couldn’t help it.”

And just like that, you’ve stolen the entire concept of fear from him.

“I’m ready.”

“What?”

He looks at you and feels the loneliness slither away.

“Ask me again.”

#sunwoo x reader #sunwoo scenarios #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo fanfic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #mine #*clouds

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everlarkficexchange · 4 years ago

Text

The Soul Within the Star

Written by: @nightlock-1989

Prompt 133: The victory tour is live-streamed and mandatory viewing for each district. What no one expected however, was for Snow to know Peeta was the words behind Katniss - the one he couldn’t control. When peeta starts talking about rue and thresh in D11, snow issues the command, and everyone is shocked when a bang rings out and a red spot starts rapidly spreading on Peeta’s chest. Reactions and the aftermath! [submitted by anonymous]

I wish I knew who submitted this but whoever it was, I hope you enjoy. I kept glossing over this prompt and then one day I read it again and the story came to me.

Rated T and no beta

The Soul Within the Star

“He can be dealt with,” Plutarch Heavensbee says to President Snow. “As soon as the opportunity arises, we will take it. Knowing him, I think he’ll make a mistake publicly.”

President Snow slowly smiles, twirling a perfect white rose between his fingers. “I’ll issue the order to have them armed and ready. As soon as he speaks a word out of line, he will be eliminated.”

*****

Katniss is having difficulty speaking, so Peeta begins for her. He begins talking about how Thresh showed Katniss mercy and how Rue reminded Katniss of her sister.

Katniss is invested in what he is saying before being startled by a loud bang. She’s looking around to see what the possible source is when she hears a thud next to her. Peeta is laying on the ground. A small red spot on his chest begins to rapidly spread. She is on her knees by his side in an instant, one hand applying pressure, the other caressing his cheek.

“Peeta, look at me. You’re going to be okay,” Katniss assures him, although not quite believing her own words.

“Katniss?” he gasps. One hand covers the one on his chest while the other hand, coated in blood, caresses her cheek.

“Where the hell is the medic?” their mentor yells.

Peeta’s eyes begin closing and Katniss shakes him hard. “Stay awake, Peeta.”

“I’m so tired, Katniss.”

“No, don’t even think about it. You stay with me,” she cries.

He pulls the hand that’s on his chest away and brings it to his lips.

“Always,” he whispers before he succumbs to the darkness.

“NOOOOO!” she screams while thrashing at the Peacekeepers who are pulling her away. She feels a poke in her shoulder and then darkness follows her, too.

*****

When she comes to, she is on a soft bed on the train. She looks to her right and sees Haymitch, sitting in a chair with a bottle to his lips. He senses she’s awake and moves towards the bed, sitting in the empty space.

Haymitch barely moves when he shakes his head.

“Where is he?” she whispers.

“A hovercraft took his body.”

They tell her it was a rebel who shot and killed one half of the star-crossed lovers.

*****

It does nothing to soothe the districts and when the Quarter Quell announcement is made that the tributes will be reaped among the existing pool of victors, Katniss can do nothing but burst into laughter. She has gone mental and is unpredictable since Peeta was taken from her. Hopefully, the President won’t fault her family if someone else kills her, instead of her doing it herself.

Her plan is hindered, however, when Plutarch informs her that if she doesn’t actually try, the President has ordered her mother and sister to be killed. This is entertainment to the Capital citizens after all.

*****

In the arena, Katniss is lured by a beautiful voice, Peeta’s voice, away from the other victors. She leaves them behind, seeking only what she desires most. Finnick races past her when there is a terrifying scream. Peeta’s tortured scream soon follows and the two of them are trapped for one agonizing hour.

“Who was that voice?” she asks Finnick.

Finnick, leans into her ear and whispers, “My Annie.”

While she has no fight left for herself, she is willing to fight so that he can go home and be with his beloved.

*****

She focuses on a star as she’s being lifted by the claw. Her father told her that long ago, before the Dark Days, people spoke of souls going to a place called Heaven, that was up in the sky and where you reunited with loved ones after death and that there was a soul within each star. Maybe she is looking at Peeta’s.

*****

She comes to in the hovercraft but before she can grab the empty syringe, she is poked and feels as if she is being consumed by fire. As her eyes drift shut, she smiles, eagerly welcoming death.

*****

She hears mumbled voices, something about someone needing to rest. The voice offers to stay with her. Fingertips caress her cheek, and she feels lips on the crown of her head. Katniss finally feels whole again, and the feeling is directly linked to whoever this person is. She inhales deeply before reaching for the hand on her cheek.

Katniss hears a sharp intake of breath. “Katniss,” the voice whispers.

She smiles. This is the voice she was hoping would welcome her.

“Katniss,” the voice says louder.

She opens her eyes, her grey one’s looking straight into the most hypnotic blue. Growing up, she thought Prim’s eyes were the nicest shade of blue; however, they could not hold a candle to Peeta’s.

Katniss leans her cheek in closer to his hand. He even smells like cinnamon and maybe dill? She really is finally with him. Peeta takes a moment to wipe the tears from his own eyes.

“You’re really here?” she whispers.

He nods running his hand over the top of her head, smoothing her hair.

“Yeah,” he lets out shakily.

“And we get to stay together forever now?” she asks with a smile knowing that she is finally where she is meant to be.

He leans his forehead against hers. “I will never, EVER, leave you. I promise.”

“Always?” she raises her head slightly, her nose touching his.

“Always,” he assures her.

“I’ve waited so long,” she begins.

“I know sweetheart. I’m so sorry.” Peeta’s hand cup her jaw.

“I can finally tell you,” Katniss says dreamily.

“Tell me what?” he asks, gently rubbing his thumb along her cheekbone.

“I love you, Peeta,” she proclaims, closing the short distance from her lips to his in a light kiss. She pulls back to look at him, noting nothing but adoration. He only offers seconds of respite before he leans down, claiming her mouth with his. Katniss gives in, elated to finally be with her boy with the bread once more.

The kiss turns frantic, each exhibiting possessiveness that can only be quenched by the other. Katniss raises her hand to curl her fingers into his hair while Peeta cradles her jaw. At a slight tug of his hair, Peeta lets out a moan before using his tongue to beg for entrance. Katniss grants entry, their tongues now engaged in a sensual dance.

There’s a beeping in the background that causes Peeta to pull away. He moves to stand but Katniss grips the front of his…jumpsuit?

“No,” she says, terror in her voice. “I’m not letting you leave me.”

“I just have to- “

“No, I love you….so much, Peeta.” The beeping is getting faster. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t say it when you were alive.”

“Alive?” A dawning of realization crosses Peeta’s face but before he can assure her, a team of medical staff rush in barking out orders and pushing Peeta back.

Katniss screams and resists every effort before she is restrained, her heart rate climbing to 180 beats per minute. Peeta is forcibly removed, fighting with everything he has to get back to the woman he loves…. who has finally told him that she feels the same way.

Outside, Peeta collapses to the ground and begins to sob while the brief light in Katniss’s heart goes out.

*****

Eventually Katniss awakes, and there to greet her is someone Katniss is assuming is a doctor.

“How are you feeling, Katniss?”

“Please kill me,” she begs.

“Katniss, I assure you, it is better to be alive.”

She shakes her head, “No…. Peeta is not here.”

“Peeta IS here, Katniss. He’s been here—”

“NO, HE IS NOT. HE BLED TO DEATH IN FRONT OF ME.”

The doctor injects something in her IV. Katniss is sure sleep will come…. but this time it doesn’t. She is just calmer.

“Peeta is alive Katniss. We’re in District 13.”

Katniss opens her mouth to argue, when her sister walks in, smothering her in a hug.

“Prim,” she gasps. Her mother walks in soon after followed by her mentor.

“But I died in the Games,” Katniss says.

“You blew out the forcefield,” Haymitch explains.

“It was all a part of the plan to get the victors out,” Plutarch explains as he casually strolls in.

“I’m alive?” Katniss asks.

Haymitch pinches her hard causing her to yelp and Prim to kick him in the shin.

Katniss breaks down in tears, realizing that while she is indeed alive and safe with her family, the exchange with Peeta had to have been some kind of dream.

“He really is gone,” she gasps.

“Katniss, the boy’s alive,” her mentor says.

She begins shaking her head when someone comes running into the room. She looks up and there is Peeta who crosses the room with purpose before cupping her jaw, a little roughly, and smashes his lips to hers. Katniss grips his wrists tightly, willing him to hold her there forever. The kiss is so intense and full of love and passion that Katniss doesn’t register any of their surroundings. When they pull apart, Peeta once again has tears in his eyes. Some have fallen from his face to mix with Katniss’s own. The only people remaining in the room with them are Plutarch, Haymitch, and the doctor.

“None of this was real?” she questions.

“Peeta getting shot in the chest was real,” Plutarch confirms.

“I can attest to that with how bad it hurt,” Peeta says, unzipping his jumpsuit and pulling up his undershirt. Katniss can see where he was shot, touching the raised and discolored skin with a whisper of her fingertips. Peeta pulls her hand away allowing his shirt to drop before he kisses her fingertips.

“We made sure when we shot him to just miss his heart,” Plutarch adds.

Katniss reels back and is scrambling to attack Plutarch while Peeta holds her firmly back.

“We had the hovercraft standing by to treat him. Snow was going to do something one way or the other and it was better to get him out when we did. He knew that Peeta was a more dangerous threat with his words than you could ever be.”

Katniss relaxes and breathes in Peeta’s scent to calm down. The calmness only lasts briefly before she turns to Haymitch. “Did you know?”

“Sweetheart—”

“DID YOU KNOW?”

Haymitch hangs his head in shame before nodding slightly. Katniss possesses a strength no one knew possible and breaks free from Peeta’s grasp, raking her fingers along Haymitch’s cheek, blood coating her fingertips.

A medical team swarms in but Peeta shields her.

“NO. No drugs. Everyone out.” The room gapes at him. “I SAID OUT, DAMN IT!”

Katniss sobs in Peeta’s arms, collapsing to the floor and dragging Peeta down with her. He lets her cry into his chest while he cradles her body and rocks her back and forth all while keeping an eye on the monitor which is measuring her heartbeat.

Katniss falls asleep, the rocking motion soothing her. Peeta places her back in bed where she sleeps for hours.

When she comes to again, her face is buried in Peeta’s neck, his arm draped across her stomach. She grazes his jaw with her fingers causing him to stir awake.

“You’re alive and here with me. Real or not real?”

“Real,” Peeta says with a kiss to her forehead. “You love me. Real or not real?”

“Real,” she answers before her lips touch his again.

#nightlock-1989 #prompt 133 #springtime edition 2021 #submission

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tails89 · 3 years ago

Text

Unbreakable

Pairing: Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz Rating: T Warnings: None Words: 2.7k

Read on AO3

All it takes is one split second.

Buck had been right there beside him, talking into his radio, confirming they were on their way out.

And then he was gone.

The floor had caved in beneath them with a thunderous crack and somehow—Eddie still can’t fathom how— somehow, Buck had managed to shove Eddie to the side before disappearing in a shower of smoke and smouldering wood.

“Buck!” He screams, kneeling on the edge of the hole and peering over. He can see the yellow stripe on the back of Buck’s coat, unmoving beneath the debris. “Captain Nash, this is Eddie.” He fumbles with the radio. “Buck is down. He went through the floor, I can’t— he’s not moving.”

He doesn’t wait for the reply. Eddie scrambles to his feet heading back towards the staircase that will take him to the ground floor.

“Chim is on his way to you.” The radio crackles to life. “Can you get down to Buck and give us a report on his condition?”

“Yeah, copy that.” Eddie takes the stairs, two at a time. “I’ve almost got him.” He skids to a halt, dropping to his knees beside Buck. As far as he can tell, the turnout gear has protected him from serious burns, but the fact that Buck’s unconscious is a serious concern.

It’s probably only been a minute or two, time moves at a strange pace when you’re trying not to panic, but any blow hard enough to knock someone out is dangerous.

“Buck?” Eddie knocks away bits of debris. “Can you hear me? Open your eyes, cariño.” He rubs his closed fist against Buck’s chest, breathing a sigh or relief when it prompts a groan from the younger firefighter. “Hey, there you are. Just stay still for me.” His heart is still pounding as he clears a space around Buck, afraid to move him before Chim arrives but also mindful of the burning building around them.

“Eddie?”

“I’m right here.” He leans into Buck’s field of vision. “I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”

Buck blinks up at him, his eyes fluttering shut for a second before he drags them back open.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie warns, glancing up as another figure arrives. “Eyes open Buck, or I’ll tell Chim what you said about him this morning.”

“What’s this?” Chim asks, kneeling opposite Eddie. “Buck’s talking shit about me again?”

“Nothing that wasn’t true,” Buck mumbles.

“If you say so, Buckaroo.” Chim moves quickly, assessing Buck’s ability to move before nodding to Eddie.

“Alright, time to get out of here,” Eddie says. “Let us do all the work okay?”

“You’re good at that, right Buck?” Chim pipes up, earning a pained smile from their patient. They each hook an arm across their shoulders and heft Buck upright. He groans, eyes squeezing shut from the movement.

Eddie and Chimney carry him out into the fresh air, carefully lying him down away from the fire, then get to work.

Hen joins them as they strip him of his jacket and start a more thorough assessment of his injuries. Eddie kneels by his head, keeping up a steady stream of reassuring chatter as Hen and Chim poke and prod and jostle.

Buck doesn’t say anything, just gives short jerking nods when he’s asked a question, eyes scrunched up in pain and discomfort.

Eddie reaches down to grab Buck’s hand; the one Hen hasn’t just inserted an IV into and gives it a squeeze. The fingers in his grip tighten in response.

“Ready to transport, cap,” Hen calls out when she’s done. The three of them get Buck on the backboard and transfer him to the stretcher.

“Bobby?” Eddie glances over at his captain, still clutching Buck’s hand.

“Go,” Bobby tells him. “Keep us updated.”

With a nod, Eddie follows Chimney up into the back of the ambulance.

The ride to the hospital is tense, even with Chimney cracking jokes to lighten the mood.

Buck is in and out, drowsy with a probable concussion and who knows what else. Eddie can feel the panic clawing at his throat, but he manages to keep it together, never once letting go of Buck’s hand until they reach the hospital. He focuses on the point of contact, using the warmth of Buck’s skin to keep grounded and remind himself that Buck will be okay.

It feels like it takes no time at all to reach the hospital. Hen does the handover while Chim and Eddie help transfer Buck from the stretcher to a bed.

“Let us know what happens,” Chim says, giving Eddie a clap on the shoulder, and promising to be back after their shift.

The hospital staff try to send Eddie away too, but Buck has come around enough that he is not having that.

“I’m his partner,” Eddie explains, laying a calming hand on Buck’s shoulder. One of the nurses has cut away his pants to inspect the burns on his leg and another is tearing through his shirt. “Please, I won’t get in the way.”

Buck is pretty out of it once they give him some pain relief. He gets wheeled away for imaging tests and Eddie takes the opportunity duck outside to text Bobby an update and call Carla to ask if she can take Chris to stay with his aunt.

Chris, of course, immediately wants to come and stay with Eddie at the hospital.

“It’ll be boring, kiddo,” Eddie tells him. “Just lots of waiting around and Buck will probably be asleep.”

“But what about when he wakes up?” Chris asks. “He shouldn’t wake up alone, dad.” And Eddie just can’t with this kid. He wonders, not for the first time, how he managed to raise someone with such a big heart.

“He won’t be alone,” Eddie promises. “I’ll be here, and maybe tía Pepa can bring you over in the morning. I know Buck will want to see you when he wakes up, but tonight he needs his rest.”

“Okay, dad.”

Eddie doesn’t need to see his son to know how hard he’s pouting at the phone right now.

“Tell Buck I love him.”

“I will. You be good for Pepa. Love you.”

“Love you too, dad.”

Eddie disconnects the call with a sigh then goes to check his messages. There’s a text message from Chimney saying he’d called Maddie.

“Shit.” Eddie quickly scrolls to her number. He’d completely forgotten in all the chaos—Maddie should have been the first person he’d called.

“Eddie?”

“Maddie, I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t worry about it, Chim called me and let me know what happened. How is my little brother?”

“He’s going to be okay.” Eddie rattles off some of the words that had been thrown around in the emergency room. “Concussion, second degree burns on his legs, maybe cracked ribs?” He takes a deep breath. “They’re doing some more testing to determine the severity of the concussion, but they didn’t seem overly concerned.”

“That’s good news at least,” Maddie says. “Evan just can’t do things by halves can he?”

Eddie huffs out a soft laugh. “Half-assing it just isn’t in his vocabulary.” The ball of anxiety that’s been sitting in his chest for the better part of an hour finally starts to unwind.

“I’ll be there soon,” Maddie says. “And Chim said he was going to head over. Have you eaten yet? I’ll bring you something.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Eddie assures her.

“I know, but you must be starving. Chim definitely will be.”

“Thanks Maddie.”

“I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah.” The call ends with a beep and Eddie shoves his phone back into his pocket. He’s still wearing his turnouts, he realises belatedly. His coat is draped over the chair behind him, his helmet balances on a knee.

“Mr Diaz?” One of the nurses beckons him over. “We’re admitting Evan,” she tells him. “If you’d like to come with me, I’ll take you up to his room.”

“He’s okay?” Eddie follows her down the corridor towards the elevator.

“Nothing nasty turned up in the MRI,” she explains. “His helmet protected him from any skull fractures, but he still got his brains rattled about pretty good.”

The elevator doors open with a ding, and they step inside.

“He’s got a couple of cracked ribs and the burns on his legs will need to be monitored to ensure they don’t get infected.”

“How long before he can come home?” Eddie asks.

“His doctor wants to keep him overnight to monitor the concussion, but all going well, he’ll likely be released tomorrow, maybe the day after at the latest.”

When the lift stops, she leads him out to a room on the ward. Eddie pushes the door open to step inside.

“Buck?”

The lights are low, but it’s still easy to make him out on the bed. Eddie drags a chair over, taking a seat at Buck’s side.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I fell through a floor and had the whole house land on me,” Buck croaks, looking a lot more alert than the last time Eddie had seen him. He’s still pale and drawn, but it’s good to hear his voice.

“Well—”

“Don’t say it,” Buck groans. He swallows, his face paling even more, something Eddie wouldn’t have thought possible. His birthmark stands out in stark relief against his skin.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, reaching for Buck’s hand. He rubs circles into the skin of Buck’s wrist.

“Nausea.”

“I can help with that.” The nurse who’d shown Eddie up to the room is still hovering nearby. “I’ll go have a chat with the doctor and be back in a minute.” She hands Buck an emesis basin before she leaves, just in case.

Alone in the room, Eddie reaches with his free hand to run his fingers through Buck’s hair. He’s careful not to use too much pressure and aggravate anything but Buck seems to appreciate it, sinking down further into his pillow.

“How are you really feeling?” Eddie asks, his thumb trailing across Buck’s temple.

“Like shit,” Buck mumbles. “Nothing… hurts? But I know it’s going to later.” He shuts his eyes, swallowing convulsively to keep from being sick, clutching the basin in his free hand.

Fortunately, the nurse returns before he has to use it. She gives him something and leaves them alone again.

“You should get back to Chris.” Nausea dealt with, Buck is loose-limbed and sleepy, blinking up at Eddie.

“Chris is fine,” Eddie assures him. “He’s spending the night with Pepa. He wants to come by and see you tomorrow if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Mm, I’d like that.” Buck’s eyes drift shut and his breathing evens out into sleep.

Eddie watches him for a moment, still running his fingers through Buck’s hair, until he’s sure he’s truly out. He pulls out his phone to see that Maddie, Chim, Bobby and Hen have all arrived.

He stands, pressing a kiss to Buck’s forehead and goes downstairs to meet his family.

Maddie is the one who convinces Eddie to go home.

He’s grimy with sweat and soot from the fire they had been attending and she gives him her best big sister stare and tells him under no uncertain terms that he stinks.

“And I mean that in a loving way,” she says, handing over a box of Chinese takeout.

He sits outside with Chim and Hen to eat, while Maddie and Bobby head upstairs to check on Buck for themselves.

“How’s our boy doing?” Hen asks.

“He’ll be fine,” Eddie says. “He’ll be sore and grumpy when I take him hope, but you know Buck.”

“Yeah, I don’t envy you there,” Chim says. “Buck is the worst patient, so have fun with that.”

After they eat Bobby gives him a ride back to the station to collect his car.

“I’ve called Marcus in to cover your shift tomorrow,” Bobby says as Eddie is climbing out of the car. “If you still need time after your days off, let me know.”

“Thanks Bobby.”

“Don’t mention it, you just take care of Buck for us. And take care of yourself too.” Bobby drives off and Eddie walks to his car before he starts getting too many questions from B shift. Buck is a well-liked member of the 118 and everyone wants to send Eddie off with well-wishes to pass on.

It’s late by the time Eddie finally gets home.

With Chris off at Pepa’s and Buck at the hospital, the house is dark and quiet. Too quiet, in Eddie’s opinion.

He turns the TV just to give himself some background noise while he showers and changes for bed.

It takes a long time to fall asleep.

Eddie picks Chris up in the morning on his way back to the hospital.

Chris has a thousand questions about what happened, and will Buck be okay, and when can they bring him home.

It strikes Eddie that he’d said the same thing the night before. He’d asked the nurse when he could bring Buck home.

For all the time they spent together and as much as Buck was a part of the family with Eddie and Chris, he did still technically have his own apartment. Not that he used it that much. Eddie had been able to pack a bag using the clothes Buck had stuffed into a drawer in Eddie’s room. There was a toothbrush on the sink for when Buck stayed the night.

Maybe it was time for Eddie to finally ask Buck to move in.

The thought keeps him distracted the whole way to the hospital. He’s still mulling it over as he helps Chris down from the back seat and leads the way up to Buck’s room.

“He’s asleep, dad.” Chris is disappointed when they open the door and Buck is still fast asleep.

He’s got a bit of colour in his cheeks this morning. He doesn’t look quite so pale against the starched white hospital sheets.

“You sleep a lot too when you’re not feeling well,” Eddie reminds his son, pulling up a second chair and moving Chris’s crutches to a spot where they’re not going to trip anyone up. “Have you got your game with you?”

Nodding, Chris pulls his Switch from his backpack, content to play his game while they wait for Buck to wake.

It doesn’t take long. The thing with hospitals is that they’re never really quiet and Buck jerks awake when something is dropped just outside his room.

“Hey, you.” Eddie leans forward in his chair and waits for Buck to get his bearings. “How are you feeling?”

“Ugh, I feel like shi—” he notices Chris on the other side of the bed, “-t.” He grimaces. “Sorry, brain could thing of anything fast enough.”

“I think we’ll let it slide this time,” Eddie says, grinning.

“Dad says sometimes bad words are okay.” Chris puts away his game and stands, shifting his weight so he can lean against the bed for balance. “I’m glad you’re okay Buck, I missed you last night.”

“I missed you too bud,” Buck says, reaching out to ruffle Chris’s curls. “Just seeing you makes me feel better already.”

Chris beams at the words and Eddie feels his heart swell.

“So,” Buck shifts on the bed, his face tightens as he jars something, probably his ribs, but he doesn’t mention it. “Any idea when I can get out of here?”

“I was talking to a nurse last night who said you’ll probably be released today,” Eddie tells him. “But we’ll have to wait until the doctor gives you the okay.”

“Hospitals are the worst,” Buck groans, his head tipping back against the pillows. “Right Chris?” Chris nods and Buck pats the bed. “Why don’t you show me the game you were playing while we wait.”

Buck is discharged late that afternoon.

He makes a fuss about using the wheelchair, but when he tries to stand all the blood drains from his face and he has to sit back down real fast.

“Ready to try the wheelchair now?” Eddie asks him, keeping a gentle hand on Buck’s shoulder in case he tries to faceplant again.

“Yeah.” The word comes out in one long breath. “Sorry, I didn’t think it would hurt that much.”

“When we get home, I’ll make up the couch for you,” Eddie says, “and you’re staying there for the rest of the week.”

“Home?” Buck glances up sharply.

“My home,” Eddie clarifies, then after a moment’s hesitation says, “Our home.”

“I like the sound of that,” Buck says, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Okay Eds, take me home.”

#911 #buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hurt/comfort #shameless whump #hurt!buck #happy ending #911 fanfic #my911fanfic

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blingywitch · 4 years ago

Text

The First Step - Chapter IV

Omg hi! I am so sorry this took so long to get out. It took me a lot longer than expected to write but anyways, it’s here now!

This chapter is a lot longer than the others I’ve written in this mini series. I had a lot that I wanted to include and didn’t realize how much it was until I re-read this so I hope you like this huge chapter of pure fluff. :)

Finally, this is the last chapter of this story. I had so much fun writing it and it makes me very happy to see that you guys enjoyed it as much as you did. (I may write a mini Sequel with one or two parts. Maybe write the wedding I don’t know yet.) but moving on, as I’ve said before, thank you for all the love, and enjoy. <3

The First Step Masterlist & Full Masterlist

Characters and universe belong to, @lumosinlove

CW: mentions of food.

—

The team had finished practice and were now skating off the ice, tired, sweaty and ready to cool down in the gym and head to the showers. Well, maybe just the Cubs planned on doing that. The rest of the team however, unbeknownst to them, had other things in mind.

Walking into the locker room Finn, Logan and Leo were all grabbed by the shoulders and sat down in whoever’s stall was closest.

“Alright boys, sit the fuck down and tells us how this happened. Details. Go.” James prodded.

“You just sat us down” Logan deadpanned, smirk playing at his lips.

Finn huffed, though he was smiling—still. “Can we at least get out of our gear first? Get a shower-“

“No!” The entire team shouted back.

Finn put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay we’ll tell you.” He then looked to Logan. “Lo?”

Logan stood up and walked over to join Leo; who had been sat down at the other side of the room— in, from what Logan could see, looked like kuny’s stall— sitting down next to him and intertwining their fingers. Finn wasn’t long joining the two and then Logan took a deep breath, “It wasn’t anything special-“

He was cut off by Leo smacking his arm. Logan rolled his eyes playfully and continued, “Fine. It wasn’t anything big and fancy.”

One week earlier

The sun was streaming trough the blinds of their bedroom window when Logan woke up, sandwiched between his boys. Opening his eyes, squinting slightly from both sleep and the brightness of the room, he looked at Leo and Finn. In the morning sun he could see every little detail of them— every little detail that he loved. Hundreds of freckles adorned Finn’s face, fanning over his cheekbones and nose going all the way down to his shoulders; resembling the thousands of stars in the sky. Careful not to wake him Logan turned over to get a better look at Leo, who had his arm loosely around his waist. He noticed that, in the sun, the younger boy’s hair looked more like the sun than the sun itself. The blonde and white strands glistening and glowing in the light. Logan had to hold himself back from running his fingers through it. He loved these boys so so much and today was the day they would learn just how much.

Today was the day.

Logan peeked over Leo’s shoulder to look at the clock on the nightstand, it read ‘6:15 am’. That was good. Leo and Finn wouldn’t be up for at least another three hours, four if he was lucky— it was Saturday after all and they had nothing they needed to do today. Logan had gotten unbelievably lucky by coach giving them the day off.— he had time.

Sighing to himself he removed Leo’s arm, carefully climbed over Finn and got out off bed. He padded around the house for a little, toothbrush in one hand phone in the other, sending texts and making preparations for the day. After he was finally dressed and ready to go he gave his boys one last kiss on the cheek and he was gone.

—

“Thank you, Celeste, for doing this on such short notice,” Logan said as he sat down at the Dumais’ kitchen island.

“De rien, Logan. You know I don’t mind. But are you going to tell me why I had to cook all this food last night?”

“Well... I can... but you can’t tell anyone, not even Dumo.”

Celeste furrowed her eyebrows but motioned for him to continue.

“...I’m proposing today.” Logan said, his voice barely above a whisper. The rest of the Dumais’ were still asleep but he couldn’t risk anything.

Though his efforts were probably in vain because Celeste let out a very loud gasp at that, quickly covering her mouth and looking towards the stairs, listening for any sign someone had woken up. After the house stayed quiet she looked back at Logan.

“Logan... that’s amazing.” Celeste walked over to Logan and placed a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m so happy to hear that.”

Hearing those words come out of his mouth, Logan couldn’t describe how it made him feel. But he decided on happy for the time being. He was proposing today. “Moi aussi....”

Celeste stepped back and Logan met her eyes, “My lips are sealed.” She said, he just smiled at her.

“Now. You should get going, I don’t know when those boys of yours will be up but I know mine will be soon, so” Celeste pushed the dishes of food towards Logan and poked him in the arm. “Go. Get.”

Logan chuckled. “d'accord, d'accord I’m going.”

—

On second thought maybe Logan had gotten up to early.

He’d wanted to make sure he had enough time to do everything it was he needed get done. And he had gotten everything done, which was good. But it was still only 8:30 am, and Logan was just standing in his kitchen unsure of what to do next. He could wake them up... but he didn’t wanna do that, it was their day off. But at the same time, being here alone and just waiting for them to wake up was driving him crazy.

So Logan decided he wouldn’t wait alone. Taking one last look at the array of food before him, he set off for the bedroom.

Finn and Leo were exactly where they were when Logan left a few hours before, except now Finn was rolled over onto his back and had his arm thrown over his face, Leo laying a bit closer to him than before.

He smiled at how cute they looked and tiptoed over to the bed, dropping himself down beside Leo and waited. Letting his mind run wild with what was about to happen.

—

Leo woke up about an hour later, after rubbing his eyes and stretching he felt a hand on his back and a kiss to his shoulder. Leo smiled softly and turned over. “Hmm, morning.” He said, nuzzling into Logan’s chest.

“Bon matin, mon amour.” Logan greeted him, just as Finn started to stir. He groaned and his eyes meet Logan’s as they opened.

“I’m the sleepyhead s’morning I see.” He said, upon seeing his boyfriends next to him already awake.

Logan huffed out a laugh. “Morning to you too, Harz.”

Finn just smiled and got up on an elbow, leaning over Leo he gave Logan a quick kiss on the lips. “Morning.” He said, pulling away.

He then moved from Logan to Leo, bending down and kissing his jaw, the only part of the boy’s face that was exposed. “Morning Peanut.”

“Hmm.” Was the only response he got.

Finn laughed into Leo’s neck. “You awake yet?”

“Mm’no” Leo replied, word muffled my Logan’s chest.

“Well you can go back to sleep for a little bit, okay?”

“M’kay” Leo mumbled, Finn did not have to tell him twice.

They stayed quiet for another few minutes, enjoying each other’s company before Finn asked, “So what’s on the schedule for today?”

“Nothing.” Leo, who had finally decided to wake up said, rolling onto his back. “I’m staying here. All day.”

“Well as much as I’d love to do that mon chéri, I have something planned.” Logan chimed in.

“And what would that be?” Finn challenged, raising an eyebrow.

“You’ll see.” Logan smirked. “C’mon.” He said, standing up and grabbing one of their hands each.

“Ugh fine.” Leo groaned though he was now curious as to what Logan had in store for them.

“So moody in the morning, Peanut.” Finn said teasingly.

“Oh hush you.” Leo playfully smacked his arm.

That only made Finn smile.

“C’mon,” Logan singsonged, pulling them forward. “you’re so slow.”

Despite all his previous nerves about this day, now that it was here Logan was surprised to find out that those feelings had miraculously disappeared and he felt completely fine. The only emotion flowing through him being pure euphoria. He was everything but nervous and he thanked whatever was responsible for that.

Finn and Leo were finally up and smiling brightly, Logan immediately stared dragging them out of the bedroom, walking backwards so he could catch their reactions.

They had just reached the living room when Leo and Finn froze. From here they could see the arrangement of food that sat in the kitchen. There were trays of cinnamon rolls, fruits and berries and well, anything you could thing of. Logan might have gone overboard, but he really didn’t care at the moment.

“Oh.” Leo broke the silence, staring over Logan’s shoulder.

“What’s the occasion?” Finn asked.

“No occasion.” Logan replied. “I just love you.”

Logan dropped their hands and walked the rest of the way to the kitchen. “Hello? Are you just going to stand there all day or do you want some breakfast?”

The two other boys were moving again and in no time had two plates of food in front of them.

“So, Lo” Leo started, after three had been eating in silence for a while. “Where did all this food come from? Because you certainly didn’t cook it.”

Logan let out a mock gasp at that. “How dare you underestimate my cooking skills!”

“What!? Am I lying?”

“No.” Finn said around a mouthful of eggs.

Logan flicked a blueberry at him.

“Hey!”

Next to them, Leo laughed, “Alright, alright don’t waste the food.”

Finn jerked his head at Leo, “The chef in that one is coming out.” He said to Logan, who laughed.

Finn got another blueberry flicked at him, this time by Leo.

—

Logan had to get the rings.

After the three had eaten breakfast they had all made their way to the couch and were now tangled around each other, relaxing and watching a movie. It was the perfect moment. But of course, Logan didn’t have the rings on him. They were at the end of the hallway, stashed in the back of a closet. The only place Logan could think of where they wouldn’t be found accidentally. He had to get them.

“Finn?” Logan tried to get Finns attention.

Finn hummed showing he was listening, though his eyes were fixed on the tv.

“Can you let me up for a second?” Logan asked. Like always, he was squished between the two of them.

“Mhmm.” Finn replied and stood up to let Logan go.

“Wait!” Leo said Suddenly, arms outstretched. “where are you going? Come back.”

“I’ll be back Knutty, don’t worry.” Logan laughed, walking away. “I’m just getting blankets.”

And in no time Logan was back, with a blanket in one hand and two rings in his back pocket.

“You’re the best.” Finn said as Logan handed him the blanket.

Leo sat up, taking the blanket from Finn and putting his feet in his lap. He motioned for Logan to sit next to him and then put the blanket over them.

“Je t’aime.” Logan whispered pecking Leo on the lips, he reached out and grabbed Finn’s hand. “You too, Fish.”

‘Here goes nothing’ Logan thought. He picked up the remote and turned the tv off.

“Lo, what are you doing?” Confusion laced Finn’s voice

“Do you know how much I love you?Both of you?” Logan was now gripping both of their hands like his life depended on it. The next thing that came out of his mouth even surprised him, “épouse-moi?”

Leo froze.

“W- what?” Finn asked, heart rate picking up.

Logan reached into his back pocket; when his hand reappeared he was holding three identical sliver bands in his palm. “Marry me?” He said again, firmer this time.

When no one said anything Logan continued, “I could get started on all that, ‘oh we’re to young and I don’t know if we’re ready’ shit, but I won’t. If you’re ready I’m ready. And if you’re not, then I’ll be here when you are; Because I love you both so much and I’d wait eternity for you. So... marry me?”

Logan looked back and forth between the two. Leo was first to break the silence, “Yes.” He breathed and Logan finally let his smile show.

He turned to Finn who was still staring at the rings in his hand. “Fish?”

Finn finally tore his eyes away from the rings and when he looked up Logan noticed a tear making it’s way down his face. Logan smiled softly at him.

“Yes. Oh my god, yes!” He beamed and tackled Logan in a hug, only breaking away to pull Leo in as well.

They fell into the couch again, in a puddle of happy tears, kisses and whispered I love you’s. Fully ready to start the next chapter of their lives, being with each other every step of the way.

As Logan placed the rings on their fingers the last thing Finn said before he was tacked by two boys and a bunch of pillows was, “Fuck, I love my life.”

Present day

Logan finished his story and looked around at his teammates, Dumo spoke up first. “Wait. Celeste knew and I didn’t!? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“Because I wanted it to be a surp- hmff” Logan was hit Square in the stomach by a hockey glove— thrown by Dumo of course.

“Rude.” Logan mumbled.

Leo looked to his left, hoping to find Finn. Instead, something else caught his eye and he burst out laughing, “Potts are you crying?” He asked.

“No!”

#lumosinlove #leo knut #o'knutzy #coast to coast lumosinlove #sweater weather lumosinlove #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #wolfstar

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ssfghfrrggf · 4 years ago

Text

One More Time

Plot: a sort of alternate way the season finale could have gone? But it’s mostly just it’s own thing.

warnings: canon typical violence, kidnapping mention, A N G S T

@adamruz i’m doing my civic duty and tagging you in yet another one of my painful burzek fics (:

“Ruz! Don’t do anything stupid!” Kevin hisses, keeping his body pressed against the pillar shielding him from the fire being laid down against them, Jay is huddled next to him, and Adam’s pinned down behind another pillar a good 10 feet away; Kevin can see the wheels spinning in his friends head, like he’s calculating something, coming up with some stupid and recless plan. He knows the look, he knows Adam is about to do something monumentally stupid, but his best friend is to far away for him to stop him. He tries getting Adam’s attention again. “Ruz!”

Adam doesn’t respond, he’s still running through what ever stupid plan he has.

“Ruzek!” Kevin tries again, and the only response he gets from his partner is a head shake. They’ve been at odds almost since the moment they found out Kim was missing. They even almost came to blows; this whole case has been hell, Kim being missing has been hell, for Adam especially. He’s still mad at him but the last thing he needs right now is for Adam to do something stupid and get himself killed. “Whatever you’re thinking, don't do it!”

“Wait for backup!” Jay adds, meeting Kevin’s gaze for a second. He’s scared for what Adam’s about to attempt too.

Adam tightens his grip on his gun.

“Don’t do it Ruz!” Jay shouts as more bullets spray against the pillar they’re sheltered behind.

“We have to save Kim.” Is Adam’s only response and then he stands up and ducks out from the safety of the pillar standing as a shield between him and the gun fire.

“Adam!” Kevin screams and tries to leap forward, but Jay catches him by the vest and holds him back as Adam goes down. He manages to get off one shot that takes out the guy who shot Adam before Jay yanks him back. “No! Ruz! No!”

Jay pokes around the pillar just long enough to lay down some return fire. Kevin tries to pull against his grip. He has to get to Adam, he has to save his partner, but Jay yanks him back once again.

“Kevin! Stop!” Jay shouts, his eyes are wide and scared, reflecting what Kevin is feeling. “We don’t need both of you shot! We need a plan!”

“We have to get him,” Kevin chokes looking over his shoulder at his partner. He’s ten feet away. Ten feet, laying in a growing puddle of blood. He feels sick and his mind is running at a million miles an hour. They have to help Adam.

“We will! But there’s no point in all three of us dying,” Jay says, shaking Kevin. “So we need a damn plan!”

Kevin swallows and nods his head.

“I’ll draw them out, you pick them off, got it?” Jay says evenly, glancing around the edge of the pillar for a split second and is instantly met with bullets whizzing past his head.

“How the hell are you going to do that?” Kevin demands.

“I’m going to let them see just enough of me that it entices them to shoot at me,” Jay replies, glancing around the corner again. “You get low, and they’ll be so busy paying attention to me so they won’t notice you.”

“Jay-”

“It’s the only move we’ve got, Kevin,” Jay replies sharply.

Kevin glances over at Adam, who’s not moving and then back at Jay. He doesn’t like the plan, but it’s the only one they have and it’s their best shot at saving Adam, he can even still be saved.

“We got Kim, we’re falling back to the safe zone,” Jay hesitates as Hailey’s voice comes over the radio.

“We got this,” Kevin reassures him.

Jay nods. “You ready?”

“Yes.” Kevin lowers himself to the floor and lays on his belly and very slowly and cautiously leans around the edge of the pillar as Jay steps out of the safety of their shield for a half a second. One of the guys across the parking garage shows themself to shoot at Jay, but Kevin pulls the trigger and takes him down before he can shoot Jay. The other guy opens fire just as Jay ducks back to safety.

“One more,” Jay says, gripping his gun, getting ready to step out of safety again.

“I’m ready when you are,” Kevin says, placing his finger on the trigger.

Jay nods and steps out of their cover once again. The other shooter reveals himself for a second, but a second is all Kevin needs. He shoots the guy before he can get one shot off at Jay. Kevin doesn’t waste a second dropping his gun and clamoring to his feet. He half runs half stumbles across the floor and collapses on the floor next to Adam.

“Ruz!” Kevin chokes, lifting Adam’s head off the bloody ground with one hand and tearing open his vest with the other. There’s so much blood he can’t tell where it’s all coming from. “Ruz, Ruz you gotta wake up man, you gotta stay with me.”

“I’m sorry,” Adam mumbles around a mouthful of blood, but doesn’t open his eyes.

“What the hell were you thinking,” Kevin demands, adjusting his grip on his partner. “What the hell were you thinking!”

“I’m sorry,” Adam repeats, and he means it, from the very bottom of his heart, Kevin can tell he means it. And he knows he’s not just apologizing for what he just did. He’s apologizing for everything. “I couldn’t let anything happen to Kim or…”

“Don’t do that man,” Kevin begs, holding Adam upright and cradling him in his arms. He can feel Jay walk soberly up behind him, and he can hear him radio to dispatch that they have an officer down. “Don’t. Just hang in there okay? You’re going to be okay.”

“Or you…” Adam finishes before his head slumps forward against his bloody chest.

“No! Damn it Ruz, stay with me,” Kevin cries, rocking his partner, trying to shake him back awake, bring him back. The last real conversation they had had was them yelling at each other to go to hell and trying to punch each other in the face.

Jay doesn’t say anything, he stands silently next to Kevin and hangs his head.

***

Hailey hears Jay’s officer down call come in over the radio as she climbs up into the ambulance with Kim. She hesitates on the step leading into the back. She has a deep gut feeling that it’s Adam. He’s smart, he’s tough, he knows what he’s doing, but he gets stupid when it comes to things involving Kim.

“Where’s Adam?” Kim mumbles, drawing Hailey’s attention back to her and the ambulance and the current situation. Hailey switches off the radio and ducks inside the ambulance. If she’s right Kim doesn’t need to find out from radio chatter.

“He’s going to meet us at the hospital,” Hailey says, taking Kim’s hand. Brett is on her other side starting an IV. It’s not exactly a lie, it could be true, but saying it still hurts. Hailey’s chest aches

“I need to tell him something,” Kim adds and lifts her head off the stretcher. “Where is he?”

“He’s helping clean this mess up,” Hailey says, trying to sound comforting and reassuring, but she’s so unsure herself.

“But he’s always here,” Kim groans and lets her head fall back against the back onto the stretcher.

“Burgess, I need you to hold still,” Brett says gently, holding Kim’s arm against her body to steady it while she starts get the IV ready to go into her arm.

“I need Adam,” Kim insists, ignoring the paramedic. “Hailey-”

“He’ll meet us at the hospital, Kim,” Hailey promises, and tries to make herself believe it. She wishes she could unhear her partner’s call over the radio. He sounded sick and heart broken when he said it, and lost, lost like he didn’t know what to do or what to say.

Kim shakes her head miserably and tears start building in her eyes.

“Hey, shhh,” Hailey soothes and squeezes her hand. “He’ll be there Kim. You know that, he loves you.”

This seems to only make things worse because Kim starts crying harder.

***

She feels completely alone. At the very core of her being there's an empty pit opening up and swallowing her hole. She knows Hailey and Brett are with her, but it feels like there’s no one, Adam’s not there with her so she might as well be alone. She needs him. She needs him to wrap her in his strong arms and hold her against his chest so she can hear his heartbeat and she needs him to promise everything will be okay. But he’s not there with her, he’s always there. No matter what he’s always there, he’s the anchor that holds her in place and keeps her grounded even when everything seems to be falling apart around her. And right now everything is falling apart, the world is crumbling around her and he’s not there. She’s alone and being sucked into an empty pit of blackness.

She closes her eyes trying to stop the tears from coming, but it doesn’t help. She can feel Hailey squeeze her hand, but that somehow only makes things worse because it’s not Adam holding her hand. She wants to believe Hailey that Adam will meet them at the hospital, but she’s scared. Somethings wrong, she can tell. Hailey’s scared too, she recognizes the forced calm in her voice.

“Hailey, what happened,” she tries again to get the detective to tell her something.

“You’re safe, you’re on your way to med. Everything is going to be okay.”

Kim knows it’s a lie. How can everything be okay if Adam isn’t here?

***

At the hospital they take Kim straight back to an exam room, and Hailey has barely watched the stretcher disappear into a room before the hospital doors are opening and there’s another stretcher being rolled in with Adam laying on top of it dripping blood onto the floor. Jay and Kevin are walking right along with him. Kevin has blood smeared on his hands and face, and there are tears streaking down his face. And Jay just looks lost.

“37 year old male, multiple gunshot wounds, shocked once in transport,” the paramedic is announcing as the stretcher gets passed off to the Dr. Choi and Dr. Marcel.

Hailey swallows hard and looks away.

“Hey,” Jay breathes and pulls her aside , so he’s blocking her view of Adam with his body.

“What happened?” Hailey asks, stepping back from him just a little. This whole case has thrown everything onto the rocks. Things are prickly between everyone. She loves Jay but she’s not ready to cling to him and cry into his arms. She’s not ready to let him hold her.

Jay looks a little hurt by her pull away from him, but the majority of the worry and pain in his eyes is not for her or because of her.

“He got stupid,” Jay says, and it comes out curt and a little harsh. “We got pinned down and he decided it was a good idea to try to rush the shooters. He didn’t have a damn plan.”

He sounds angry, but she knows it’s only because he cares.

Hailey nods slightly, but doesn’t say anything to her partner. Instead she leaves him to go check on Kevin who is standing in a dazed trance looking at something on the floor. As she gets closer to him, she realizes it’s blood.

“I told him to go to hell,” Kevin says quietly as she approaches him and rests her hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” she says, trying to sound comforting. “He knows you didn’t mean it.”

“I told my best friend to go to hell,” Kevin repeats without looking up. “What was I thinking? He thinks I hate him… that’s the last thing he’s gonna think.”

“Kevin! Look at me!” Hailey says firmly, making him look up at her. “He knows you don’t hate him, okay? He knows that!”

It’s not entirely true. She’d been with Adam after his fight with Kevin, he’d been so angry and upset. He’d blamed himself for everything, for Kim getting kidnapped, for his fight with Kevin. He’d been convinced he messed everything up, betrayed his best friend and failed the love of his life. He’d said he ruined everything to try to save Kim and in the end he wasn’t even able to do that.

***

Kim knew Hailey was lying to her in the ambulance ride over, but at least during the ride over she could hope, but now she’s sitting in a hospital room, alone with no sign of Adam. She keeps expecting him to walk through the door, but he never does and at this point she’s convinced he won’t.

“Hey Burgess.” Trudy is the one to walk in as the door swings open. She looks tired, relieved to be seeing Kim, but tired.

“Where’s Adam?” Kim asks as the desk sergeant sits down next to her bed.

Trudy sighs and purses her lips.

“Trudy, please,” Kim presses.

Trudy hesitates before finding her words. “Kim..” she says it with so much pity and sorrow that it feels like a kick to the stomach.

“No,” Kim chokes, shaking her head. She knows what’s about to be said, and it can’t be true, she refuses to believe it.

“Kim, he got shot,” Trudy continues softly.

“No,” Kim repeats, refusing to hear what she has to say next. He can’t die.

“Hey, they’re doing everything they can for him,” Trudy whispers, her voice cracking. Kim can see tears welling in her eyes. “He’s in good hands. He’s going to be okay.”

It’s all empty promises, hopeful lies meant to offer false reassurance. She can see it in Trudy’s eyes, he’s going to die. The police sergeant doesn’t believe what she’s just said.

‘He’s going to die, isn’t he?” Kim can feel her bottom lip quivering as she says and Trudy seems to melt, droop into this old tired woman who’s weary and lost in her fears too.

“Don’t do that, Kim,” she tries, but even the normally unwavering Trudy Platt can’t stop her voice from cracking.

“Isn’t he?” Kim repeats miserably, tears beginning to well in her eyes as she sits up, ignoring the pain from her movement. Nothing hurts more than the pain bursting open in her chest, nothing hurts more than the thought of losing Adam.

Trudy places a steady hand on Kim’s thigh and shakes her head. “I don’t know, Kim. I don’t know.”

It’s the most honest thing anyone has said to her since being found. Ever the promises that she’d be fine were lies, how can she be fine while Adam is dying? How can she ever be fine if he dies. He’s her constant, when she’s beaten and bruised, he’s there. When the world is spinning out of control, he’s there. When she’s facing devastating loss, he’s there. She can’t imagine climbing the mountains life has thrown at her without him. She can’t imagine her life without him, she doesn’t even want to try. She doesn’t ever want to live without him.

“He can’t die,” Kim says hopelessly looking into Trudy’s tears stained gaze.

“Come here,” Trudy chokes and wraps her arms around Kim in a tight tug, holding her close to her body. “Come here.”

***

“What the hell happened?” Voight demands, marching into the waiting room and rapidly approaching Atwater and Halstead who are standing in a corner talking in hushed tones with their backs to the room. Hailey is sitting close to them, but she’s staring into space and doesn’t say anything or even look up as Hank approaches the small part of his unit that’s left standing. Jay and Kevin both turn slowly to face him. They’re exhausted and their gazes are dull and spacy; they’ve been run ragged by the case, and a pang of guilt flares up inside of him as he really takes in the appearance of his team.

Jay sighs and straightens up his slumped shoulders, and Hailey finally looks up, but keeps her chin resting on her hand.

“Kim’s beat up, but physically she’ll be fine,” Jay says and glances at Kevin, who looks at the floor. The detective looks angry, and something passes through his gaze settling in like storm clouds on the horizon. “Ruz took two to the chest and one to the stomach. Where the hell were you?”

Hank’s first instinct is to fight the challenge from his most senior detective, but Hailey steps between them and makes him take a second to rethink.

“Not here, Jay,” she warns, putting one hand on her partner’s chest. She knows where he was, or at least has a pretty good guess, Hank is certain of that much. One of the guys who took Kim had rabbeted; Hank went after him.

“No, I wanna know where he was!” Jay shouts, righteous anger filling his voice. The weight of everything seems to finally be crashing down on top of him and breaking his floodwalls. “We got pinned down, Ruzek got shot three damn times, you got Kim out with patrol. Where the hell was he!”

“Jay,” Hailey says quietly and shakes her head.

The detective nods his head, glaring out at Voight; he seems to be putting together all the pieces as he keeps his gaze locked with Hank’s. “Unbelievable.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Hank challenges. He knows exactly what it means, and exactly what Jay is thinking, and he’s right.

“You executed your revenge fantasy. You left and opened this unit up to further harm so you could carry out your perception of justice, and Adam got shot!” Jay shouts, pushing against Hailey.

“He had to pay!” Voight shouts back, losing his cool.

“And he would’ve!” Jay shouts louder.

“He murdered children, he beat Kim, do you get that?”

“That doesn’t mean you can murder him,” Jay says dangerously, and one hand falls to the hand cuff tucked into his belt. “It’s horrible and evil, but that doesn’t mean you can leave, put us at risk and commit murder. When we cross that line we become no better than the people we work to put away.”

***

“How’s she doing?” Kevin asks, shuffling into Kim’s hospital room. She’s asleep, but Trudy is sitting up in a chair next to her flipping through a magazine. After Jay and Voight decided to take their argument to the roof and Will telling him and Hailey it’ll be another couple hours before they know how Adam’s surgery went he decided to move on to Kim’s room to check in on her and wait for news there.

“She’s hurting and scared for Adam,” Trudy says quietly, setting her magazine down on her lap. She gestures to a chair in the corner. “Pull a chair up and have a seat.”

He sighs and does as he’s told. It feels like it’s been an eternity since he’s sat down, and finally taking the weight off his legs makes him realize just how heavy he felt.

“I feel like I messed up,” Kevin finally says after a long time of sitting in silence and looks up at Platt who sets down her magazine again. She doesn’t say anything, just waits patiently for him to elaborate. “We fought.”

Trudy nods. He knows she knows this, she was there.

“I don’t regret standing my ground or taking the side I did. I’d do it again, I just…” He trails off. “Ruz is my best friend and he got shot, and I can’t help but wonder if he was trying to prove something.”

“Prove what?” Trudy asks, leaning back in her chair.

“I don’t know, that he’d still have my back, and still risk his life for me,” Kevin says slowly, letting his gaze fall to the floor. He can’t help but feel like maybe he made Adam feel like what he did was something he had to do to prove himself. “But I didn’t need him to do that. He should’ve known that. I should’ve made sure he knew I still trusted him with my life.”

“It’s not your fault Kevin,” Trudy says after contemplating his words for a couple seconds. “It’s not your fault he made the choice he did, and I think he would’ve made it regardless.”

Kevin shakes his head, he can feel tears welling in his eyes. “I just don’t want him to die, Platt.”

The desk sergeant looks like she’s about to say more, but Kim moans softly next to her and flinches and stops her from saying what ever she was about to say.

“Hey, Burgess,” Kevin says and scoots closer to his old partner’s bed. He rests his hand on top of hers to let her know he’s there.

She blinks her eyes open slowly, and looks up at him. Her gaze is pained and haunted like she’s seen a ghost.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kevin asks scooting a little closer to her.

She shakes her head. “Adam…”

Kevin glances at Trudy for a second before looking back to his old partner. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Kim shakes her head again. “I had a dream,” she says with chilling calm, and her tone is that of someone lost and broken, or maybe someone who has lost something. She swallows hard, “He died.”

“Hey, he’s not gonna die,” Kevin promises, but she doesn’t look convinced, and in all truth, he’s not convinced of what he just said either. He’s still not even sure how Adam survived the trip to the hospital. He’d lost more blood than Kevin even thought was humanly possible; there was so much of it making a pool on the ground around his body, soaking into the knees of Kevin’s pants, staining his hands as he desperately tried in vain to stop it or even slow it down- Kevin closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath trying to shake the memory, but he can’t. He can remember it, feel it even, so clearly and it won’t go away. The hot stickiness of Adam’s blood as it pushed against his hands and soaked into his own clothes and made them stick to his skin. How cold his hand was when Kevin grabbed it in the ambulance, how white his skin was.

“Kevin,” Trudy’s stern voice cuts through his unwanted memories and brings him back to reality.

“Sorry,” Kevin chokes, shaking himself, and when he looks back at Kim she’s looking at him like she knows exactly what was running through his mind.

***

Hailey follows Hank and Jay into Kim’s hospital room. Neither of them say a word and she doesn’t ask them for the details of whatever conversation they’ve just had. Hank looks like he’s just been yelling, but Jay looks unruffled, just grim. She can only imagine what was being said, Hank had all but confessed to murdering the guy responsible for kidnapping Kim, and Jay had openly accused him of doing just that.

“How are you holding up, Burgess?” Voight asks gruffly as he comes to a standstill at the foot of her bed. His face betraying nothing about what was said between him and Jay after they left to talk privately on the roof.

Kim glances around at all of them. “I’m fine.”

She doesn’t say anything about how scared she is for Adam, but Hailey can tell she’s terrified. She knows exactly what she’s feeling.

“Good, good,” Hank says and rests one hand on her leg.

Jay clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest expectantly. Hank ducks his head. Hailey frowns and studies both of them, she’s never seen duck at someone else’s authority, especially not someone he outranks, but she can feel the shift between the two of them. Jay seems to be standing just a little taller, and Hank seems like he’s sunk somehow. It’s like there was some fight on that roof and Jay not only won, but somehow managed to surpass their leader.

“I have news guys,” Hank says, and Kevin cocks an eyebrow and looks to Jay who gives him a subtle curt nod. “I’m resigning from the CPD.”

Kim and Trudy both look stunned, Kevin doesn’t look surprised in the least, and Jay looks relieved. Hailey had been expecting something dramatic, but this wasn’t exactly this.

“Hank, why?” Trudy asks.

“It’s time,” he replies curtly, and side eyes Jay.

“Jay, can we talk?” Hailey asks, grabbing her partner and pulling him out into the hallway before he can respond or argue.

“What did you do?” she demands as soon as they’re out of ear shot from Kim’s room. She knows Voight didn’t come to this decision on his own.

“I gave him a choice,” Jay says confidently. There’s zero conflict in his voice about whatever conversation he had with Voight. “We both know what he was doing. He murdered that guy and he put the unti at risk while he was at it. So I told him he either resigns and let him do it with some dignity, or I bring him up on murder charges.”

Hailey raises both her eyebrows in shock. “You really did that?”

“He crossed a line, Hailey,” Jay replies evenly. “And it wasn’t the first time. I’m not letting him get away scott free this time.”

***

It’s late when Marcel finally walks into Kim’s hospital room to deliver the news on Adam’s condition, and it’s just her and Trudy. So much has been happening Kim almost wishes he’d wait just so she can catch up and process her world spinning out of control before something else is thrown at her, but more than that she needs to know whether Adam will be okay.

“He made it through surgery,” the surgeon reports, his tone is gentle and comforting. “He’s not out of the woods yet, and he’s got a rough road to recovery ahead of him, but he’s stable.”

Kim lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and lets herself fall back against her pillow, relief flooding over her in waves and lifting the tiniest amount of weight off her chest. He’s not out of the woods yet, but he’s made it this far. He has a good fighting chance now; she might not lose him after all.

“Can I go see him?” She asks shifting in bed so she’s sitting up again.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Marcel says hesitantly. “You still need rest and take time to heal-”

“I’m fine,” Kim says firmly without missing a beat. Her body still aches, but comparatively she’s fine, she didn’t get shot. “He can’t wake up alone. I need to be there for him. He needs to know I’m okay when he wakes up.”

She knows Adam, she knows the way his mind works, and she has a pretty good idea of how he handled things while she was kidnapped. She needs to be there for him when he wakes up to promise him she’s okay. Not only that but she needs to see him, she needs to be there with him to see for herself that he’s going to be okay. She doesn’t care if she’s still hurting, she needs to see him. She needs him.

“Kim-”

“Please,” she pleads.

Marcel sighs and slumps his shoulders. “Okay, fine, just until he wakes up and then you need to come back here and rest.”

“Thank you,” Kim breathes, managing to relax ever so slightly. Just the thought of being allowed to be close to him makes her feel better. She’s so used to him being right there next to her everytime she needs him, he just always seems to know, like it’s his sixth sense, but this time she’s going to be there for him.

Adam’s room is quiet, too quiet; Adam is still, too still, still like he’s barely clinging to life, like he might slip away at any moment.

“I’m right here,” Kim whispers as she eases herself into the chair next to his bed and takes his hand in hers. It’s really the only thing she can think to say. She’s there and she’s not going anywhere. It doesn’t matter how long it takes him to wake up, she’s going to be there waiting for him when he comes back to her. His fingers twitch a little as she wraps her other hand around his so it’s clasped between both her hands, but other than that he doesn’t stir. He remains still and quiet.

“You’re not supposed to be the one to get hurt,” she says quietly, it seems wrong to interrupt the quiet of the room by raising her voice above a whisper, so she keeps it low. “You’ve gotta stay safe for me and Makayla, because we both know I’m apparently incapable of doing that. Adam, I need you.” She’s not sure he can hear her, but she hopes he can, and that hope is enough to keep her talking. Maybe her words will bring him back to her, give him something to cling to the way his words always did for her. “Come back to me. Please. I don’t want to do this without you.”

She can feel tears stinging her eyes as she lifts his hand to her lips; it hurts. Deep down in her chest it hurts seeing him like this, so still and quiet. She’s not exactly sure what it's like to feel her heart break, but she’s pretty sure this feeling like her chest is being crushed and the lump in her throat she can’t swallow is pretty close to it. The sound of weak shallow breaths claws at her like nothing she’s ever felt before, it hurts. It hurts worse than all the times she’s been kicked, beaten, and shot. She’s only felt this hollow aching pain once before, and that was after the miscarrage, but even then she had Adam there with her to help fill the emptiness left behind, to remind her she wasn’t alone. But now he’s the reason for that hollow pit inside of her. The one person who she needs to promise her everything will be okay, is the one person who can’t do it.

“I’m sorry,” she finally says, finding her voice again through the lump in the back of her throat. And it conveys everything she needs to say to him all at once. “I’m sorry for everything.”

She spent so much time pushing him away, fighting him everytime he tried to get close to her, but he never gave up. He kept coming back, kept trying, and she kept pushing, but now she’s done pushing. Now she’s trying to pull him back to her, cling to him and keep with her, but for the first time he just seems to be drifting away. He seems to be leaving her.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away from me,” she chokes, kissing his hand. She’s not a doctor but even she knows the numbers on the heart monitor next to him are lower than they should be, and they’ve gotten lower since she first came into the room. He’s slipping. “I’m sorry, please stay with me. Come back to me one more time. Just one more time. Please.”

She rests her head on the bed next to him so he can feel her next to him.

“I’m right here,” she promises one last time.

***

Kim wakes up to gentle fingers combing through her hair. She lifts her head and discovers Adam looking at her, with his head tilted in her direction; the smile on his face is weak and dazed, but it’s a smile, and she can tell from the glint in his tired eyes that it’s genuine.

“Didn’t mean to wake you up,” he mumbles, struggling to get the words.

“No, I’m glad you did,” she breathes, tears welling in her eyes again. She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep, and frankly at the moment she’s not convinced she’s not dreaming.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Adam wheezes and brushes her cheek with his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She’s supposed to be the one comforting him, not the other way around. He’s the one who got shot and almost died, not her, but here she is, terrified, and him yet again being the one to comfort her.

“They told me you got shot,” she chokes, the tears spilling down her cheeks. “I thought you were gonna die. I thought I was going to lose you.”

“Kim, I’m not going anywhere, ever, I promise,” Adam says, firmer this time. “I’m always going to be here for you.”

Kim nods through her tears. “I just-”

“It’s okay,” Adam promises and with all the tenderness in the world, pulls her close to him as she begins to cry harder. “I’m okay Kim. I promise”

She can feel him relax as her head rests against his chest, and he lets out a sigh that can only be described as one of relief, like he’s letting his own worries go as he helps her let go of hers. She squeezes her eyes closed as she keeps her head leaned against his chest and soaks in his presence and the warmth of his body.

“I’m sorry,” Kim says aloud for him to hear this time.

“Don’t do that,” Adam soothes.

“No, Adam I’m sorry,” she says and lifts her head so she’s looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve spent so much time pushing you away, and then I almost lost you, and I can’t lose you. I don’t ever want to live without you. Adam, I love you.”

“Kim…” Adam looks surprised, not a bad kind of surprised, not even a disbelieving kind of surprised, just surprised like he wasn’t expecting her to say that.

“I love you Adam,” she says with more emphasis this time.

And now it’s his turn to start crying. His tears come from nowhere and spill down his cheeks, and before Kim knows it he’s sitting up and wrapping his arms around her.

“I love you too,” he chokes out, burying his face in her shoulder. “I was so scared, Kim. I was so scared, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to find you. Nothing else mattered. I love you so much, Kim.”

He melts into her arms and clings to her like his life depends on it. Kim wraps her arms around him and leans her head against his. Her body hurts and aches from the beating she received, and she’s sure Adam’s hurting too, but it’s all just physical, just superficial, and she doesn’t mind it at all because she’s close to Adam and nothing else matters. He’s okay, he is going to be okay, they are going to be okay.

#chicago pd fic #cpd fic #burzek #upstead #burzek fic #adam ruzek #kim burgess #kevin atwater #jay halstead #hailey upton #hank voight #trudy platt

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pregnant-piggy · 5 years ago

Text

I’m having your baby - part IV

Sirius Black x reader

series masterlist, part one, part two, part three

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, food and pregnancy

Words: 2.7k

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Hours pass, but Sirius doesn’t come home. Lily is gone by now and you are sitting in the living room, reading your book. Peter is watching something on TV and James is running in the park. You are deep in your book when Remus sits down next to you and pulls it away.

‘Hey!’ you cry, but Remus places his finger over his mouth and gestures at Peter. He has fallen asleep with his mouth open. ‘What is it?’ you ask, on a more serious note.

‘Do you know where Sirius is?’ You sigh and avert your eyes.

‘No, isn’t he just in his room?’

‘Yes, he is in his room, that is why I am asking you,’ Remus snorts.

‘Oh, right.’

‘It doesn’t matter now. Have you spoken to him yet?’ Your face speaks for itself. ‘That is fine, but you do have to do it soon. I mean in a few days your period will be over, but you will feel just as miserable.’

‘Wow, thanks for the stimulant words!’ you say and push Remus away with your hand. Remus pushes you back and you fall off the sofa. You grab Remus’ arm in the panic and he falls on top of you. You start to laugh and Remus joins you.

Then you hear a shuffle across the room. From the corner of your eye you can see a flash of black hair and two seconds later the door slams shut. ‘Found him,’ you mutter as you try to get up as quick as possible. You run to the door and taking your coat you yell at Remus that you will get food on your way back.

Outside the wind blows in your face. You have to blink against the cold and you try to find Sirius. But there is no one left in the street. All you can see are the trees and a car every once in a while. You start to walk. You don’t know where to, but you just want to be away from your apartment. Away from all the problems. You take deep breath and walk to the park. James must have returned by now, you figure.

The brown leafs crunch under your shoes. There are very few people in the park. You see an old man walking his dog, a woman riding a bike, two adult men in long, black coats and a runner. You sit down on a bench and close your eyes for a second.

‘(Y/N)?’ You open your eyes and see James standing in front of you. He is panting. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Oh, I was running after Sirius but he disappeared and I didn’t want to go back home yet,’ you say like it is the most normal thing in the world. James sits down next to you. He looks funny with his sweaty head and his hair like he just walked through a storm.

‘(Y/N), are you really alright? I mean, for the past days you have been looking sad and you say you are just on your period, but I think you are really sick.’ You may smile at James, but your inside is breaking. A tear rolls down your cheek and you shake your head. James pulls you in a hug and gently strokes your back. ‘It’s fine. Everything will be alright. I am sure Sirius will get over whatever is going on in his head and you will-’

‘I’m pregnant.’

James immediately stops talking and freezes. He lets you go and stares at you with disbelieve on his face. He opens his mouth to say something but the words stay in his throat. ‘Please, don’t tell anyone, alright? I haven’t told…’ You keep silent. You don’t know if you want to tell James it is Sirius’ baby. But you don’t have to.

‘It is Sirius’, isn’t it?’ James guesses and you nod. ‘Yeah, I have seen you looking at him. And now the sickness makes a lot more sense.’ You giggle sadly. James gets up and offers you his hand. You gladly take it and let you being pulled up from the bench. ‘You’ll be fine,’ he says and puts his arm around you.

The wind has increased and little raindrops are falling down. Leafs are being blown off its twigs and fall on the ground. You and James are the only ones in the park now. It looks dark now it is abandoned and empty.

‘I have to get dinner,’ you say to James. You suddenly remembered you promised Remus you would take care of dinner. James says he will come with you. ‘Are you crazy? You will get sick if you stay out any longer in your shorts! And you stink!’ That is enough for James to leave you alone. He goes left to the apartment and you walk on, heading towards the shops. On your way there you see if Sirius is somewhere here, but you see no one.

- -- -

The door slams behind you. A head pops up from the kitchen. A body follows. Remus takes the bag with food from you so you can take off your coat.

‘Is he back?’ you ask, referring to Sirius. Remus shakes his head. ‘Fuck,’ you mumble.

While Remus sets the table with Peter and James is still in the shower, you try to call Sirius. He doesn’t answer. You place the bag, that Remus had left in the kitchen, on the table.

‘We think he turned off his phone,’ Peter says when you sit down. ‘We tried to call him too, but it went straight to voicemail.’ James enters the room with a smile, but his expression changes when he sees the worried faces at the table.

‘He still doesn’t answer?’ You shake your head. James takes place at the table and drops his head. ‘Maybe his phone is just dead,’ he mumbles. You feel terrible when you look at James. He looks defeated. You had hoped that maybe James knew where his best friend is. But no one heard from Sirius.

‘What are we having?’ Peter asks. You avert your eyes from James and look at the bag.

‘Thai food.’

- -- -

After dinner, James disappears into his room. Peter is taking out the trash and you are left with Remus in the kitchen, doing the dishes.

‘I told James,’ you say. Remus looks up from the mug he is holding. A reassuring smile appears on his face.

‘What did he say?’

‘Well, he knew immediately it was Sirius’ and he said that I’ll be fine.’ Remus turns back to his mug.

‘Sounds like approval to me,’ he mutters.

‘I feel sorry for him. Sirius being gone is killing him. He doesn’t deserve this,’ you say and stack the plates. A loud bang comes from the other room. ‘I’ll check on him,’ you say and rapidly walk to James’ room.

You knock on the door. ‘James? Can I come in?’ you ask. You get no answer and start to worry. You open the door and encounter James lying on his bed. His whole body is shocking from crying. On the floor you see a book and you figure that that is what you had heard. You walk over to James and sit down next to him. He looks up when he feels your hand on his back and you can see that his face is wet from the tears. James drags his body up and collapses against your chest.

‘Oh, Jamie,’ you say and stroke his back. His weight gets too much for you and you fall down on the bed. James’ head is just above your stomach and he puts his hand on it. You feel the warmth on your stomach and you smile softly.

‘I can’t believe there is growing a little person inside of you,’ James whispers with a watery voice. You sigh and close your eyes.

‘Me neither,’ you admit. James pokes your stomach.

‘A little person surrounded by Thai food.’ You laugh and James’ head bounces up and down. ‘Hello, little fella. How are you? Enjoying that Thai food? In eight months you will come out of your mommy and then she will rarely see you again, because she has to share you with Peter, Remus, your daddy and me. But she won’t mind, because she knows that we will take care of you.’ James stays silent for a minute and the tears are already running down your face; you should really find a way to stop crying. ‘You are going to be the prettiest and smartest baby ever. I know that, because you will have your daddy’s looks and your mommy’s cleverness and looks. Yeah, you heard it right; your mommy is pretty damn perfect. But she has a terrible taste in films though.’ You laugh and wipe the tears from your face.

James rolls over to his stomach and puts his head on his hands. He glances at you and smiles. With his finger he is drawing circles on your belly. ‘But that doesn’t matter, your daddy will show you the good films. If he ever returns.’ James’ face turns dark for a second. ‘Your uncle Peter will teach you how to cook and uncle Remus will learn you all about his books. And I will make you the best football player! But all the other things you will learn from your mommy and your daddy. Maybe for love-advice you shouldn’t go to them, they are terrible at that!’

‘Hey!’ you exclaim and you hit James. He laughs and turns back to you stomach.

‘I know that right now you are really tiny, but I will talk to you every day until you are out in this world! That way you can recognize my voice! I will talk to you about everything, you are yet too young to understand what I am talking about anyway. And sometimes I will sing! I will sing you a lullaby! I am not that grea-’

The door of James’ room opens and Peter is standing in the doorway. He is looking confused with open mouth at you, James and James’ hand on your stomach. Remus is standing behind him, looking guilty. He mouths he is sorry and you smile at him. You push yourself up and pat with your hand on an empty space of the bed.

‘Peter, I have to tell you something and I think it is better when you sit down,’ you say and Peter follows your instructions hesitantly. ‘Since everyone in this room now knows, I think you should too. But please don’t share it with anyone!’ Peter nods and you take a deep breath. ‘Okay here it goes: I am pregnant. With Sirius’ baby.’ Peter stares at the wall. You look at Remus and he gives you a reassuring smile. Slowly Peter moves again. He turns to you and is lost for words.

‘I am… Are you… That… Congratulations!’ he says. You smile and hug Peter. James puts his arms around you too and forces Remus to join too. After minutes Remus lets go again and the others follow. ‘So are you and Sirius, you know, together…?’ You shake your head.

‘No… Sirius doesn’t even know yet…’ you say and an awkward silence follows. You stare at your knees and think about everything. You feel so loved by your friends, just thinking about how they will help you with everything makes you melt inside.

The phone rings. James falls off the bed and Peter jumps up. Remus swiftly walks to the phone and answers it. You cannot hear him; he is too far away. Your hand slides into James’ and you stroke the back of his hand with your thumb. You try to smile at Peter, who is pacing around in the room, but you can’t. You feel nauseous, like the Thai food is about to come up any minute now. All you hear is James’ unsteady breathing and Peter’s feet on the wooden floor.

After five minutes Remus’ footsteps approach. The grip on your hand tightens. Peter has stopped walking and is now staring at the door. But when Remus is standing in the doorway, he shakes his head. James’ hand holds your hand even tighter, but then he lets it go. He falls back on his bed. Remus leaves the room and you gesture Peter to follow. You bend over to James and stroke his hair.

‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ you whisper. James just shakes his head. ‘Well, if you want anything you know you can always come to me, Rem or Pete. I’ll leave you now.’ You get up and close the door behind you. In the living room Remus and Peter send you a questioning face. You shrug and drop down on the couch.

- -- - The rain on your window keeps you awake. No matter how you twist and turn, you can’t fall asleep. You have tried everything; you have used the meditating techniques Remus has taught you, tried to count sheep, sat in front of your window for an hour, just looking at the moon above you and the few cars underneath you. But every time you drift away, you hear a sound and you are awake again. You know James is awake too. He is walking around in the living room; you hear his footsteps. You have thought about going to him, but you think he just wants to be alone.

A door shuts. You sit up straight in bed and try to make no noise at all. Your breathing almost stops and you can hear everything in the apartment. The footsteps that come closer and closer to the living room. The ticking of James’ fingers on the dining table. The uneven breath of the person approaching the living room.

‘Where have you been?’ James asks after a minute of silence. A throat clears before the answer comes.

‘Just out.’

‘Out? You have been gone for the whole day! You didn’t let us know where you were. You didn’t react to our phone calls! We were worried sick about you!’

‘I just needed some time alone,’ Sirius says and you notice he is drunk. His voice is not the usual smooth voice, but a raspy, deep voice. Sirius always talks different when he is drunk. His behaviour changes too. He gets more larrikin, flirts with everyone around him and is loud. But when he is really drunk, he is silent. He doesn’t talk at all and he looks sad. You have only seen him like that once. It was the day he got a letter from his parents saying that he wasn’t considered family anymore and that he was cut off. No matter what you and your friends tried Sirius kept drinking and drinking. At first he was the jovial, usual, drunk Sirius, but later he just sat in the corner of the room, staring at his hands.

‘Why didn’t you tell us? You know we would have left you alone!’ James says angrily. You figure Sirius has shrugged because James snorts. ‘I’m done with you. I was so worried about you and you show up and all your excuse is you wanted some time alone? You should go to bed.’

‘I need to talk to (Y/N),’ Sirius grumbles and your heart beats in your throat. Your hands are clasped around your sheets and your whole body is tensed up.

‘You stay away from her. You hear me? You don’t make another step in her direction, alright?’ James says louder now. You drop your head to your chest and smile sadly. You can always count on James.

For a while you hear nothing and then footsteps, but they are in opposite direction of your bedroom. You lie back down and breathe out. You look at the time; it is four in the morning.

----------------------------------------------------

One more part to go!! Thank you so much for 100 followers! I really love all your sweet messages! I wish I could hug each one of you XXX

MASTERLIST

#sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x y/n #marauders x reader #harry potter x reader #marauders imagine #marauders #marauders x y/n #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #peter pettigrew x reader #lily evans x reader #jily #sirius x reader

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quillandink333 · 3 years ago

Text

Scarlet Carnations ~ Epilogue

BotW Link X Zelda ~ Detective AU

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.7k

WARNINGS: death, murder, loss, trauma, blood and gore, terrorism, organized crime, self-harm

Summary: Inspector Zelda Hyrule, assisted by the faithful Constable Link Fyori, is infamous for cracking the most confounding of cases in a town dominated by crime. Her latest assignment is to solve the murder of her own godmother, Impa Sheikah, the late CEO of Sheikah Tech. Incorporated, while staying under the radar of the dreaded Yiga organization.

Part I • Part II • Part III • Part IV • Part V • Part VI • Part VII • Epilogue • Masterlist

The first couple of weeks following the incident that had taken my long-lost mother from me was misery in its purest form. Link and I didn’t speak, not even by phone, during that whole stretch of time. In fact, I could rarely bring myself to answer the phone at all. The memory was still too vivid, the wounds still too fresh.

He’d gotten off scot-free in the end as he’d been deemed to have acted in the defence of others—namely, of me. It wasn’t long before I learned of his plea, that if I hadn’t come along quietly, I would have suffered the same fate that he’d brought upon her, and they had believed him. How I felt about this was still something I was struggling to wrap my endlessly pounding head around.

As dark and deep as this seemingly bottomless pit of despair that I’d found myself plummeting down was, however, someone did eventually toss a rope down for me. The time I spent apart from Link gave me the opportunity to properly reconcile with those whom I myself had wronged: Auntie Purah and Paya. The former and I found comfort in our mutual grieving, and even as Paya had never really known my mother well enough to mourn her loss (though, arguably, it seemed no one had ever truly known her), she was more gracious and understanding than I or anyone else would have been, which only made me regret even more deeply my past transgressions toward her.

One day, during one of our continual conversations, she shifted to the topic of the Yiga leader’s executioner. How she could even think of him at a time like this was beyond me, but I digressed. I told her everything from start to finish. It was the first time I’d allowed myself to talk to anyone about it at length. As I spoke, she listened calmly and carefully. Despite what I’d have liked to believe, she had always been the more levelheaded one out of the two of us, save for when it came to discussing things about herself.

By the time I finished, I’d begun bouncing my still healing ankle back and forth, which I’d crossed over my other leg to keep it from touching the ground. I didn’t stop even after I noticed what I was doing.

“It’s painfully clear to see how conflicted you are about all this.” Coming to sit beside me on the sofa in the Sheikahs’ sitting room, Paya placed an affectionate palm on my thigh, bringing its restless jittering to a halt. “I understand how hard this must be for you. But the way I see it, there’s only one question you need ask yourself at the end of the day.”

Whatever she was about to say, it wouldn’t be an easy pill to swallow, would it? I straightened my posture. “And what would that be?”

“Between the two of them, who do you think was the better person?”

She was looking me dead in the eyes, her hand still resting upon my leg. I uncrossed them.

I’d never thought to compare the two before. What reason would I have had to do so? But now that she’d mentioned it, I hadn’t realized how few memories I even had left of my mother, and the ones that remained were blurry and vague beyond any hope of being recovered. If only she hadn’t left me with the Sheikahs all those years ago, maybe I could have remembered more clearly what kind of person she had been.

On the other hand, Link had always been there for me. Even during the times when circumstances had driven us apart, the thought of him was what had kept my flame burning strong and hot throughout each arctic day, and what had protected me from myself, keeping me from doing the irreparable. He had stayed by my side to the bitter end.

No matter how I’d reflected back on that day previously, the sight of his steely, focused stare and the sound of his crazed breaths, short and sharp, had been ever dominant. But now, I recalled the way those eyes had then glazed over with unadulterated horror. How his arms had shivered as they’d clung to my broken form and how they’d continue to cling for what would feel like millennia until the rest of his unit would finally stumble upon the scene.

My stepsister-of-sorts gave my leg a soft squeeze as I looked back at her with a tremor in my lip. “He s...saved me,” I whimpered. “Didn’t he?”

After a month apart, I made plans with Link for a night out on the pier, where we would celebrate the end of the Organization. The ice cream I’d promised him was at the top of my list of priorities for the evening. Tonight was a dessert-first night anyway, I’d decided. From there, we went and found ourselves a bite to eat at a seafood restaurant within walking distance. I’d hoped eating with him would feel like old times, but he hardly spoke a word throughout the whole meal. I tried lightening the mood with some banter, but this proved ineffective when he brushed off everything I said with mere one or two-word replies.

It wasn’t until I’d gotten us both a bit of something to drink that he finally broke the silence. “Have you...” he started, but lost the confidence to continue.

I perked up at the sound of his voice, wanting to hear more of it. “Have I...?”

“A-Ah...” His fingers poked at the copious amount of chips piled onto his plate next to the practically untouched fillet of fried fish. “I was just wondering if you’ve thought about what you’re going to do now, since...you know...you’re not a detective anymore.”

“Ah, right. That.” I took another sip of my drink, its contents long having fled my memory. “Actually, my auntie talked about it with me and she said she’d consider letting me inherit the company once I’ve acquired the proper education. So to answer your question, I’m thinking about going to school for engineering.”

His brows rose. “Oh! My, that’s—” He cleared his throat. “That’s brilliant. I’m happy for you.”

I thanked him with a hesitant grin, then asked, “How about you? Do you plan to stay on with the force, or...?”

“Ahh, well...” What little there’d been of an upward turn in his lips vanished. “I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. It’s something I’ve been mulling over for a while now. Whether to stay on and honour my father’s work, or...whatever other options are available, I suppose.”

“Do you want to hear what I think?” He raised his head. “I think you should do whatever you think would make you happiest. That’s what you’re father would have wanted, I’m sure.”

This finally, finally, got a real, unsubdued smile out of him. And I intended to milk that smile for all it was worth.

After dinner, I dragged him back down to the arcade on the pier, where I managed to ring a few laughs out of him while we were still a bit tipsy. We steered clear of the toy gun target-type games, favouring other stands like the ring toss where he won me a plush frog that I could only just get my arms all the way around. His aim was spectacular, especially for someone who wasn’t entirely sober. Not only that, but I could never have imagined how sweet and charming he would be like this. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though we’d gone back in time again. That, or the light from the setting sun was playing tricks on me.

But by the end of the evening, he’d reverted back to that quiet, reclusive version of himself that I’d quickly grown to detest. We were out on the docks now, facing the sea. The breeze carried a mist of saltwater within its bows. I breathed it in, soaking up the feeling of it hitting me softly and coolly in the face. A hint of pink in my partner’s cheeks caught my eye, and I wondered whether it was the cocktails or my arms, which were currently wound about his waist from behind.

“Beautiful sunset,” I tried, hoping I could get him to spare me a glance at least. “Isn’t it?” But to no avail. He only continued to gaze westward at the rippling flames reflected in the water. “Hey...” Before I knew what I was doing, my palm had found the warmth of his cheek, and there was hardly an inch or two of distance between the tips of our noses. Without giving myself time to think, I tilted my head, leaned in, and started to close my eyes.

But when I realized he wasn’t doing the same, I halted. On the contrary, he’d been leaning back and away from my advances, his back so rigid and shoulders so stiff it were as though he would sprout wings and bolt were I to make any sudden moves.

“What’s wrong?”

A harsh, jagged exhale. “Zelda, I just can’t—” He grabbed both my wrists and wrenched my arms off of him. “I’m sorry. We can’t do this.” He was bent over the railing, arms folded in on each other. “Not now,” he said, dwindling, “after I’ve gone and...murdered your only family.” A weary chuckle shook him by the shoulders before he raked his hands through his wind-tousled hair.

I fell into quiet thought for a moment. Then, taking a long, thorough breath, I placed a feather-light set of fingertips atop his own. “That woman was never my family.” I’d made up my mind. Figuratively or otherwise, my real mother had moved on a long time ago. And it was time I did the same.

Link must have seen the resolve in my eyes or heard it in my voice, because now he was looking back at me openly, his body turned to face me. Though there was still an air of uncertainty lingering about him as he ran the crease of his cuff between his fingers again and again. But when I brought my arms around him and held him close, he sank into my lips, returning my embrace at long last. A lone pair of tears fell from my eyes the moment they fluttered closed—a culmination of all past ordeals—and as they fell, I couldn’t help but smile.

#my writing #fanfic #botw #zelink #botw zelink #zelink botw #link x zelda #zelda x link #botw link x zelda #botw zelda x link #zelda pov #detective au

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junicai · 4 years ago

Text

Surprise LIVE!

NCT : 안녕 여러본~~ [180316]

| warnings | none

-> aria spends some time in the practice room, with an unexpected guest.

A: hi hi everyone! how are you?

aria is sitting with her back against a white wall, her legs out in front of her as she rests the camera against the mirrors. it looks like she is in a practice room, given the oversized hoodie she is wearing, along with the lack of makeup.

A: it’s not too late for anyone, right? i don’t want to keep anyone awake 😡 if it’s late for you go to bed! you can watch again in the morning

@/lenjoo10: unnie, did you sleep well? have you eaten?

A: yes! i’m waiting for yuta to finish in the other room, because apparently i’m not allowed walk home after it gets dark

she gestures with her arm towards the door, making a playfully scowling face.

A: he’s taking forever, so i decided i’d come talk to you guys! you’ll keep me company while i wait, right?

@/luylhaech: of course! make sure you eat when you get home 🤬

A: 😅 yes yes i will, geez. sometimes i think you all are worse than the boys

the comments flood with objections, saying that they just want her to stay healthy and safe.

A: oh god ok i’m sorry! i’m sorry i’m sorry, thank you for taking care of me everyone 🥰

she bowed her head slightly to the camera, holding up her hands in an attempt to stop the onslaught of comments.

A: aah ah no you’re all typing too fast! i can’t read them all, hold on a moment.

@/jaemia183: riri do you have any movie recommendations?

A: for movies? i'm not sure. yesterday i made mark watch howl's moving castle with me again, if that's something.

A: he acted annoyed but i know he loves that movie as much as i do

A: that movie is one of those movies i watched when i was a kid ~ i remember downloading it onto my mother's laptop so i could watch it on planes and long trips

A: 😅 i'm pretty sure i wasn't meant to do that, but i've seen it so often i can probably quote it now

aria ran a hand through her hair, fiddling with the strands that fell over her shoulders

@/thetenthwish: where are the others?

A: hm, the others? well i know yuta is in the opposite room right now, but he’s working so i can’t get him for you... and a lot of the other boys have already gone home because they have a- thing tomorrow.

aria’s eyes opened wide at her slip of the tongue before she frantically tried to cover it up. her arms waved about and the mic on the phone picked up her legs kicking slightly on the hardwood floor.

@/jaehuina: ARIAA WHAT DID YOU SPOIL WHATS HAPPENING TOMORROW

@/peachbliss: everyone say goodbye to aria its been nice knowing u

@/doiejei: is that the sound of the sm dungeon door clanging shut?

A: shushhh you’re all going to get me in trouble 😳 can we keep this a secret? for me?

the comments rush past with affirmatives, and aria relaxed slightly back against the wall.

A: ah i might owe you my life. taeyongie oppa would kill me - if you're watching this, oppa! nczennie will keep my secret for me, they promised 🥺

aria’s phone buzzes against the wall where she had put it down after reading through some comments. a small ping sounded, indicating a message had been sent to her inbox

A: oh? that might be yuta, i should check that ~

aria leant down to pick up her phone, clicking into the home screen and swiping up the messaging app. her face morphed into surprise before she quickly schooled her expression into something less alarming.

A: ah, i’m sorry everyone, i think yuta is going to be later than he expected and he told me to apologize to you all 😕

@/yukki24: has left the livestream

@/nczeci: has left the livestream

A: but! someone new is going to come pick me up, so i can stay and chat for a bit longer hehe

@/buiconasi: WHO OMG HAVE WE MET THEM BEFORE

A: have you met him before? no i don’t think so, not on a vlive yet... only once or twice i’d say. are you excited?

A: hm, shall we play a guessing game to figure out who it is?

@/junno2567: nooo just tell us :(

A: ahh but where’s the fun in that! ok ok, ill give you all a hint and see if that helps ~ he’s very tall 🥰

@/titibunsa: ARIA EVERYONE IS TALL TO U THAT DOESNT HELP

@/gothavan: johnny??

@/jaemintea2: is it winwin?

A: no, its not an 127 oppa...

@/jeangimia: is it a new manager or someone?

@/guraheza: omg please just tell usssss

aria opened her mouth as if to speak, but was silenced by a short knock on the door of the practice room. her head turned to the door off-screen, and she smiled at the person as they entered.

A: here he is everyone!

lucas popped his head into the frame.

L: heyo~

@/haneimi: OMG HI

@/aquarisuh: LUCASSSS

aria watched the messages on vlive fill up with greetings for lucas, smiling as she turned slightly to watch lucas’ eyes dart quickly over them all, as if he was trying to read each individual message before it got pushed up by more incoming.

A: ta-da ~ lucas was the one coming to get me! i don’t think anyone guessed him, so its still a surprise

L: no one guessed me? 😖

@/taeminniee: NO WE’RE SORRY

@/realmch1: ARIA THOSE WERE TERRIBLE HINTS

A: are you slandering my hint-giving skills

L: i don’t think you’re very good at giving hints riri, if they couldn’t guess who i was at all

@/onet2ne1: RIRI THATS SO CUTE IM CRYING

L: is riri cute? ive always called you riri... is that cute?

@/enthusnctisct: YES THATS ADORABLE HOW LONG HAVE U TWO KNOWN EACH OTHER

A: hm,,, maybe. two years?

L: yeah about that

A: i met him during training - he was sitting outside my practice room and not his own

L: no no i don’t think they need to hear this story, actually i think we need to go now the others are waiting

aria was laughing now, hands pushing away lucas’s arms that had come to wrap around her in an attempt to pull her off screen

A: and and he was waiting for a good, half hour before i arrived and told him that his practice was happening down the hall in the next room

lucas groaned and put his head in his hands

A: I could hear him getting scolded through the walls over my music 😂

L: stop it stop it that’s enoughhhhh

aria poked playfully at lucas’ side, who curls up to protect himself.

@/honijoo: aria stop being mean to him :( he looks upset

A: its okay nczennie, im not being mean ! he has so many stories to tell about me that i know he will 😡 so im trying to even the playing field before he embarrasses me enough that i cant show my face 😔

this time, lucas’ phone buzzed from his pocket. he pulled it out to check the new notification, before nodding slightly.

L: riri, i think we have to go now

A: already? how long has it been- oh GOD its been nearly an hour ok bye czennie! hopefully we don’t get in too much trouble byee byee!

[vlive ended]

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keytomythoughts · 4 years ago

Text

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually.

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu)

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

Funny

Yk I can’t move out, at least not on my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

What about Jaehyun?

Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

They’re just hell-bent on me getting into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

Me crying and stuffing myself with pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

And that’s bc you were there dumbass and half of the time ur either in oppa’s room or out somewhere

Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

I miss y’all :’(

Ok I should be there around like 5 ish so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol

See? My point exactly

Your fAcE scared off every girl in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

I almost feel bad for them, u little heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

Rlly?!?

YAH

U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

U JERK HOW COULD U??

Those poor girls omg

Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

Can it u demon

Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated.

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends.

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side.

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another.

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?”

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.”

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.”

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away.

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.”

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.”

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation.

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide.

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?”

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!”

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail.

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul.

What can I say? It’s a talent.

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder.

“Good to be back,” I whisper.

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment.

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat.

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

#moonbin x oc #moonbin ff #moonbin fic #moon bin #cha eunwoo #jung jaehyun #astro #nct #fanfiction #my writings #mine

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thewalkingdead-fan101 · 4 years ago

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In this hell Daryl Dixon X Reader part 11/??

Hey everyone! So I have been feeling really guilty about leaving it so long between updates, so I have written and decided to post chapter 11 for you! I really hope that you guys enjoy this chapter! :)

Warnings- Blood, Gore, General walking dead depictions, slow burn, swearing.

Daryl let go of my hand and stalked back to the cottage, picking up his crossbow, putting it over his shoulder he walked back to me and took my hand, leading the way back to camp.

Shadows were beginning to cover the ground as the sun set, I looked over to Daryl, the golden hues illuminating his face. He looks over to me as I smile, giving me a questioning look before we both faced forward again. “Ya’ always staring.” Daryl mumbled. “It’s not my fault you look good..” I responded, looking back to him, watching as a small blush rose on his cheeks. “Shut up.” He shook his head. I stopped walking, Daryl walking forward only to stop as I resisted the pull. He turned around, taking two short steps and stopping. “What? Are ya’ ok?” He asked, his hands making their way to my abdomen, in a sense to protect his unborn baby. My heart swelled at his action, placing my hands over his own. “Im okay, little bean is okay.” I spoke softly, pausing as he looked up. “Are you?” I asked. “What do ya’ mean?” He asked, head slightly tilting down to meet my eyes. “I mean are you okay? You searched for Sophia… You did more for Carol and that little girl than anyone else in the group.” I paused, taking a breath as his eyes softened. “Ain’t my kid. Did what I had to.” He avoided my eyes. “I saw your face when she walked out of that barn, you can’t tell me that you weren’t affected by it.” “I searched every day for that little girl! Took a bullet and an arrow!” He started, dropping his hands from my stomach, taking a step back. “What? Ya’ want me to tell ya’ I had a soft spot for the girl?” “Daryl..” I began. “I did.” He paused, turning away, to turn back around just as quick. “I had a soft spot for the girl, She reminded me of myself when I was a kid!” He raised his voice, eyes slightly watering as he spoke. “I looked for her every damned day, cause no-one looked for me!” Words were caught in my throat as tears welled in my eyes. I walked forward and grabbed him, my arms around his neck as I wrapped him into a hug. His head fell onto my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist. Daryl’s body softly shook as he cried into my shoulder. The sounds of his soft sobs bringing my own tears to the surface. “It’s okay. I got you.” I whispered, pulling him tighter into my body. Daryl responded by bringing my body closer to his. He pulled away, and shook his head, running his hand over his face. “I’m gonna head back.” He motioned to the run down cottage. “Daryl, come to the house, have some dinner.” “Nah. Not hungry. I need to be alone.” “Don’t isolate yourself.” I tried to talk to him. “I’ll come to bed later.” He muttered, walking away. I watched as Daryl walked back the way we came from, into the dark night that had taken over the sunset. I closed my eyes and took a small breath, before making my way to the house.

I opened the screen door, running into Andrea and Shane who were both coming down from upstairs. “Hey, any progress with Beth?” I asked, my hands crossing over my chest gently. “Still the same as before.” Andrea nodded. “Dinners about done, Come eat.” Shane pointed towards the dining room. I nodded and walked over to where the others all sat, taking the empty seat next to Carl. “They should've been back by now.” Andrea stated.

“Yeah. They just got holed up somewhere.” Shane paused, sitting at the head of the table. “We'll, we'll head out first thing in the morning.” Shane cleared his throat thanking Patricia who had placed the plate of green beans on the table.

“Welcome.” She said softly, moving behind Carol who had just handed a basket of bread to Andrea.

I Iook up and over to Shane as he spoke to Carl.

“Carl, I want you to keep your head up, okay? Your old man, he's the toughest son of a-“

“No cussing in the house.” Patricia quickly cut him off.

“Sorry.” Shane looked down briefly. Maggie had taken the head of the table next to me, I placed my hand on hers and smiled softly at her. “Lori, dinner.” Carol called out to the Staircase.”

“She's not in there.” Maggie spoke, standing slightly.

“Where is she?” Dale was quick to ask. We all sat in silence, looking at each other for an answer.

“Carl, when's the last time you saw your mom?”

“This afternoon.”

“She was worried about Rick, asked me to look in in Carl.” Andrea spoke, gaining all of our attention.

“She went after them?”

“She didn't say that.” I looked at Shane, I could see the wheels turning in his brain.

“Nobody panic. Gotta be around here somewhere.” He said, standing abruptly.

Carl stood, following him, the rest of the group standing to search. Patricia stayed seated, watching as everyone left. “Thank you Patricia, but I should-“ “Go, it’s okay.” She nodded. I gently pushed the chair out and followed after the others. Maggie went upstairs and searched the floor. “She isn’t here.” She called out. “Okay, I’ll let them know. Thanks Maggie.” I called back. I opened the door and watched out for the others. I watched as Carol walked towards the small fire that Daryl had lit, hoping that neither of them would say something to hurt the other.

I checked her tent, finding no one, so I ran across the field to where the cars were kept, noticing Maggies car missing. I sighed and made my way over to Dale by the RV. “Any luck?” He asked poking his head out of the door. “Nothing, I take it-“ “Nothing.” He confirmed, looking out to see Andrea walking over to us. She shook her head as she got closer. Shane walked toward us and motioned for us all to meet him. I looked at the others and we all moved to him.

“She's not at the barn.” Shane spoke.

“I checked the yards.” T-dog shook his head.

“Well, where is she?” Carl asked, stepping forward.

Footsteps approached from the left and I turned my head to see Carol.

“She asked Daryl to go into town. Must've gone herself.” She said.

Carl placed a hadn’t over his mouth and whimpered. I knelt down, and pulled him to me. “Hey, it’s okay.. come here.” I hugged him, he pulled away and stormed off.

“Hey. Carl.” Andrea called after him. “The Sable is gone.” I spoke. “What?” Andrea questioned.

“Maggie’s car.” Shane took a step towards Dale.

“Did you know about this?” He asked.

“No.” He shook his head.

“Look, just- did she take a gun?” He asked Dale.

“I don't know.” He paused. Shane shook his head and stalked over to his car. “I wouldn't let her go out there alone.” Dale called. Shane slammed the door shut and started the car, picking up more speed as he left.

Carl watched as he stood between the house and the camp. I made my way over to the boy and placed my hand on his shoulder. “Hey, let’s go eat. Yeah?” I asked as he looked up. “Do you think my mom is okay?” “Yeah. I think she just got a little worried. I bet that both your mom and dad are on their way back here now.” I smiled wrapping my arm around his shoulder walking with him to the house. Patricia was waiting on the porch as Carl and I made our way up the steps. “I served your plate for you.” She smiled down to Carl. He looked up at me. “Go on, i’ll be there in a minute.” I nodded towards the door. He went inside. “Did you find her?” She asked, watching as the group all made their way back to the house.

“She went after them.” I shook my head softly. “Without telling anyone? Do you think she is okay?” She asked me. “I sure hope so. For Carls sake.” I nodded, opening the door and joining Carl at the table, Patricia following in pursuit. “Eat up buddy.” I smiled, messing up his hair. “Hey!” He pouted. “Eat.” I laughed softly. “That goes for you too.” Patricia smiled, setting a plate in front of me. “Oh thank you, I could-“ I looked up only to be met with a warning glare from Patricia as she sat across from me. I heard the door open, Dale walked in and sat across from Carl again and Andrea sat next to Dale. Soon after they walked in, so did Carol and T-dog. We all ate our meals in silence, until Carl spoke up. “So, when you have the baby, what will you name it?” He looked over to me. I looked up from my plate to be met with everyone’s eyes. “I, I uh, I haven’t really thought about names.” I smiled pausing. “And it wouldn’t be up to me only, I mean id have to talk to Daryl and see if he had anything special to put in there.” I smiled at the young boy. “Can I make a suggestion?” He asked. “Of course, I’ll hold it close to my heart.” I smiled softly at the boy. “I think if it’s a boy you should name it Carl.” He smiled. “Oh yeah? Carl?” I asked with a chuckle. “Yeah Carl! It’d be Carl and Little Carl for life.” “I honestly don’t think we would be able to handle two Carl’s.” I laughed. “Okay, so not Carl. What about Otis?” He asked. I looked up at Patricia who stopped eating, she had looked at Carl with soft eyes. “Because Otis is a nice name, and he saved my life.” He finished with confidence. Carl looked up and met her eye. “Im sorry.” He looked down. “No, don’t be sorry sweetheart, that’s really sweet.” Patricia smiled, moving to hug the boy. Patricia moved back to her seat and continued to eat, listening to the conversation. “Well, we don’t really know if it’s going to be a boy Carl.” Andrea spoke up. “Okay, well, if it’s a Girl what about Carla? Or Carly?” He asked a wide grin on his face. “Carla?” “Carly?” Andrea and I asked at the same time. “Yeah! That way there can be two Carls.” “You are a piece of work, you know that?” I asked laughing with him. “So (Y/n), do you know anything about the baby?” Dale asked.

“Um yeah, Ive been reading this book that Shane found on a run.” I smiled. “What does it say?” Andrea asked. “We don’t have to talk about the baby guys.” I smiled, looking at my half empty plate. “We want to, beats eating in silence.” T-dog answered, putting his fork to his mouth. “Okay.” I smiled. “So I calculated it and im roughly nine weeks and five days now… The book says that the baby is the size of a green olive right about now.” I smiled. “How big is that?” Carl asked.

Jimmy left the dining room and walked out with a small jar. Placing it onto the table in front of Carl. “What are those?” He asked. “They are green olives bud.” Jimmy smiled.

Carl picked up the jar and examined it closely. “Woah.. The baby is tiny!” He exclaimed looking at my stomach and then back to the jar. The group laughed at Carl’s reaction. Jimmy took the jar back to the kitchen and smiled at us. “Im gonna go and be with Beth, Let me know when Hershel is back.” He smiled, taking his plate to the sink and heading upstairs. “Can you feel it move?” Carl asked, looking at my abdomen. “Not yet, It’s still too for that.” Dale answered his question.

“How has the morning sickness been?” Patricia asked, joining the conversation. “It is still there for the most part, I mean like, the nauseous feeling is still there all the time, but I don’t throw up much.” I looked over to see Carl with his nose scrunched up. “Okay guys, I feel like that’s enough baby talk for now.” I chuckled, rubbing Carls shoulder. Once everyone finished eating their dinner, I stood up and collected the plates. “Oh no, I can do them.” Patricia stood trying to stop me. “No Patricia, you cooked, and you helped Carol, the least I can do is the dishes.” I smiled, moving into the kitchen, running the sink water, filling the tub. I grabbed the sponge and began to scrub and scour the dishes, sitting them in the dish rack when I cleaned them. I moved to put the next plate on the rack to see the first missing, looking back I see carl with a dish towel drying it. “You don’t have to help Carl.” “I know. But I like talking to you. You’re like the cool Aunt.” “Oh.” I chuckled. “We both know that id be the coolest.” I joked. As we washed and dried the dishes Carl and I continued to playfully banter, laughing by the end of it. I packed away the dishes with Carl and brung him in for a side hug. “(Y/n)?” “Yeah?” I asked, looking down. “Can you get that book? The baby one?” He looked up. “Yeah, why?” I asked smiling at him. “I want to learn.” “Oh, I think your mom should talk-“ “please I just want to learn about the baby so I can help you.” He pleaded. “Oh honey, you don’t have to.” “I want to.” He smiled. “Okay, well, stay here. I’ll be right back.” I smiled as I sat him on one of the lounges. I Walked to my tent, to be met with an empty patch of grass. I looked around to see that the only tent that was missing was mine and Daryl’s. I sighed softly, a small smile on my face as I walked over to the small fire. As I’d thought, Daryl had taken his time alone to move our stuff away from the others. I noticed the two silhouettes by the fire, and the closer I got, the louder the voices got. “I’m not gonna let you pull away. You've earned your place.” Carol spoke softly.

“If you spent half your time minding your daughters business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's, she'd still be alive!” He raised his vice at her.

“Go ahead.” She nodded.

“Go ahead and what?” He paused. “I mean just go! I don't want you here!” He pointed, turning around. “You're a real piece of work, lady.”He turned back to her and pointed in her face. “What, are you gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that? Pfft! Man, you don’t know Jack.” He paused again. “You're afraid. You're afraid. 'Cause you're all alone. You got no husband, no daughter. You don't know what to do with yourself. You ain't my problem!” He looked away. “Sophia wasn't mine! All you had to do was keep an eye on her!” He yelled at her, moving closer as she flinched slightly. The two stared at each other before Carol left, heading to the house. Daryl sat by his fire, poking it with a stick, looking up when he felt my presence. “What do ya’ want?” He asked, poking the fire harder than before. “Nothing Daryl, nothing at all.” I mumbled, walking to the tent. “What are ya’ doing?” “I’m just getting my book. Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked.

“You said earlier that you wanted to be alone.” I paused looking over to where Carol left.

“I heard what you said to Carol.”

“And?”

“And I think that you need to apologise. You were harsh. She just lost her daughter. She doesn’t need to be reminded that she is alone.”

“I was too harsh?” He scoffed.

“Guess what, In this world you have to be harsh sunshine. That’s how I know that I’ll make it, will you?” He asked stepping toward me.

“What does that mean Daryl?” I challenge.

“It means ya’ soft princess. You won’t make it, not without someone there to save your ass.”

“Screw you Dixon.” I shook my head and walked back to the house, blood boiling.

“In this world you have to be harsh sunshine.” I mocked as I walked up to the door.

Patricia was sitting on the lounge just looking at her hands, with nothing to do.

“Hey, Patricia, I’m so sorry to ask, but could I stay in here tonight? I’ll sleep on the lounge if I have to.

“Honey, you can stay as long as you like!” She nodded and ran to the linen cupboard, pulling out a blanket for me to use later.

“Thank you!” I smiled softly.

I could hear an engine, so I walk outside, turning my head to see Shane return. “Shane’s back!” I called out opening the door and walking outside. Carl was the first to run out of the house, grabbing my hand and dragging me closer to the car. We stopped two metres away and watched as Shane opened his door, stepping out as the passenger door opened. Lori stepped out, holding a cloth to her head. “Oh my god, are you all right? What happened?” Andrea asked.

“I was in an accident.”

“She was attacked.” Both Lori and Shane answered as Shane and Andrea tried to touch her.

“I’m fine, I'm fine.” She argued pushing their hands away, pausing.

“I really am. Where's Rick?” Lori asked looking down. Shane took a few steps forward and turned to look at Lori. Lori looked up and at the group as we stayed silent. “They're not back? Where are they?” She asked looking over to Shane.

“Look, I had to get you back here.” Shane began. Dale and I shared a look, looking over to where Lori was standing.

“You asshole.” She sneered, walking over to him, pushing him harshly away as he grabbed her wrists.

“Lori!” He tried to calm her down.

“He's my husband!” She grunted pushing him off of her.

“Lori, I will go after him. I will find him. Hey!” He paused. Shane looked around momentarily, before looking back at Lori. “Now look, first things first, I gotta- I gotta look after you. I gotta make sure the baby's all right, okay?” He tried to diffuse the situation. The tension in the air, doing the exact opposite as the others started between the two. Carl dropped my hand and moved forward, looking up at his mother.

“You're having a baby?” He paused “Why didn't you tell me?” He asked. I looked over to my brother who had closed his eyes and shook his head, leaning down onto the hood of his car. “Come on. Let's make sure you're all right.” Dale spoke, putting his hand on Lori’s shoulder.

“Come on.” Andrea followed the others to the house. I stayed behind and watched my brother who was now staring at the hood. “Shane.” “Don’t.” “Don’t what?” “Don’t say whatever bullshit it is you’re going to say. I thought he knew.” “You shouldn’t have brung it up in the first place. She was outed before she told anyone, hell, I only knew because of Maggie.” He looked up. “It’s a long story and it’s irrelevant. Why did you lie to her?”

Shane pushed himself off of the hood. “I lied to her to get her back here.” He pointed to the ground. “She was walking along the road, I thought she was a walker!” “What?” “I came across the car, all smashed up, two dead walkers. Hell I thought the worst.” “When I saw her I ran to her, she wanted to walk to get to them so I told her they were home. I made sure she was safe, not out there chasing ghosts.” “Chasing ghosts?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. “Look I don’t know if they’re dead or if they’re alive, but I wasn’t letting her go out to find them in the worse case scenario.” “I get that, but you should’ve told her the truth Shane. I know that it would’ve been more arguing, but she would’ve come around.” I stated, turning and making my way to the house.

I made my way up to Beth’s room and stroked her hair. “Hey honey.” I looked down at her.” “They’re going to be back with your dad real soon okay.” “Thank you.”

I looked over to where Maggie stood by the door. “Dale and Lori are in there.” She nodded to the next room. “Thank you.” I softly nodded as I stopped stroking Beths hair.

I watched from the doorway as Dale handed her a Cloth. “Thank you.” She whispered, putting it on her forehead. “Hey. I am so sorry that I left without telling you.” Lori looked at Carl.

“It's okay. I wasn't scared.” He paused. “When's dad getting back?” He looked up.

“Let's hope soon.” She nodded, looking down and patting his knee.

“I wanna be there when you tell him about the baby.”

“Oh, love, he already knows. We were just trying to find the right time to tell you.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?” He asked.

“Well, we won't know that until it's born.” She shook her head.

“Will I be able to feel it?” He asked gently touching her belly.

“Not for a while.” Lori shook her head softly, looking up and noticing me. She smiled softly as I walked further into the room and sat next to Carl. “You must have a lot of questions, huh? We never had the talk. I guess we forgot.” She chuckled. Carl looked past Lori and over to Dale

“Don't look at me. That's your father's job.” He shook his head.

“If the baby's a girl, can we name her Sophia?” He looked up at Lori. We all stayed silent, Lori unsure of how to answer.

“Hey, dude.” Shane spoke up from the doorway.

Dale stood, as Shane took a step into the room. “Hey, I'm sorry, bud. Okay? I thought you knew.” He shook his head, leaning against the door. “Big brother Carl. Pretty cool, huh?” He smiled, flicking his hat.

“I say that's very cool.” He laughed with the boy. Lori was avoiding looking at Shane. Not that I blame her. “You- you mind if I talk to your mom a sec? Hmm?” Shane asked Carl.

“How about a little later, after she's had some rest? Andrea asked, looking over to Shane.

“Lori, I had to get you back here. You wouldn't have come otherwise. How about you- how about you just hear me out, please?” He pleaded softly, walking over and leaning against the back of the three seater.

“Okay. Give me a minute.” Lori whispered, rubbing Carls back. Carl nodded.

“Thanks, bud.” Shane said patting his shoulder. Carl stood up and left, Dale and Andrea following. I looked between the two, standing and leaving. I made my way to the front porch, to see Carl sitting on the step. I smiled softly and sat with him.

“Congratulations big brother.”I smiled, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. “Thank you.” He smiled leaning into me. “So, are you prepared to be the babysitter of not only one baby, but two?” I asked as I gently squeezed him. “Im not a baby-sitter.” He scrunched his nose up. “Okay, well what about designated diaper changer.” “Ew no!” He laughed. “Okay, okay. How about, coolest big brother and coolest cousin?” “Cousin?” He asked looking up at me. “Well, you are family.” I shrugged, a small smile on my face as his eyes softly sparkled. The door behind me opened, and Shane stormed out, stopping when he realised that Carl and I were there.

“Hey bud, your Mom’s free.” He smiled down at him. “Okay!” “Goodnight dude.” Shane nodded at him, patting his hat. “Night Shane!” He called out as Shane made his way towards his tent. The door opened again, and Lori stepped out, taking a seat on the opposite side of Carl. “Mom! (Y/n) said I can be her baby’s cousin!” “Thats so cool!” She smiled at his excitement. Lori looked out over the field, sighing before looking back to Carl. “It’s getting late, let’s get you to bed.” Lori sighed. “Mom-“ “Please, no arguing Carl..” “What about Dad?” “I’ll wake you up as soon as he gets back, I promise. Say goodnight.” Lori spoke softly. Carl pushed himself off the stairs, turning to me and hugging me. “Goodnight (Y/n/n).” “Goodnight Carl.” Lori stood up, heading off with her son. “Lori.” I called out, standing up.. “Can we talk?” She looked down to Carl and nodded. “Go on, i’ll be there in a minute.” She leant down and kissed his head. Lori and I both walked towards the other meeting in the middle. “What’s wrong honey?” She asked looking into me eyes. “When you told me Daryl needed me, what did you mean?” “He needed you to talk to him.” “Did he? Or did you?” I asked. She opened her mouth to speak. “I understand that you’re worried about Rick, but that doesn’t mean you can go out on a damn rescue mission!” “Not you too.” She sighed. “I need you on my side.” “On your side? Lori, I have only ever been on your side! I’m drawing the line after this though! Do you have any idea how stupid that was?!” I asked gesturing to the road. “Anything could’ve happened! And something did! You had a car accident! You’re lucky! It could’ve been much worse that what it was.” “Not to mention the walkers Shane told me he saw.” “I dealt with them.” “Yeah but what if there were more of them? What then Lori? What if you were bit? What if you died in that accident? You didn’t think! And to not tell anyone and to go alone?” I asked, turning around, not being able to look at her. “I asked Daryl to go after Rick.” She defended herself. “Oh, I know you did.” I snapped, turning to look at her again. Lori’s gaze fell to the ground as I made eye contact with her. “He isn’t a search and rescue dog.” “Honey-“ “No, let me finish.” I cut her off, holding my hand up. “Daryl is just as valuable as any other member of this group. He isn’t expendable.” “Honey, I swear that isn’t what I-“ “How could you call him selfish? After everything that he went through looking for Sophia.” “Look I get that you’re upset, but (Y/n)-“ “Upset? You think I’m upset? Im not upset Lori, I’m Angry.” “To you Daryl might not mean anything, but to me… to me Daryl means everything.” I paused.

I sighed, placing a hand over my forehead. “I don’t think of him-“ “No, you don’t think of him at all Lori.” “You say he is selfish, but you are the one that is selfish, because no matter what is happening around you, you always seem to make it about yourself.” I finished walking into the house before looking back to her from the door. “Goodnight Lori.” I shut the door behind me.

The night was long. The only sound filling the room was the slow ticking of the clock, which had seemed like it got louder with each repetitive tick. I rolled from my back over to my side, finding the portrait of a woman from what looked like the late 1930’s, early 1940’s more interesting than the same water spot on the ceiling that I’d been staring at over the last three hours. ‘It means ya’ soft princess.’ ‘I know that I’ll make it, will you?’

Daryl’s words continued to float through my mind, which seemed to be fighting with itself. I softly pushed the blanket from my body, sitting up on the lounge, placing my feet on the hardwood floor. Resting my elbows on my knees, I placed my head in my hands, my fingers resting against my temples. I glanced up at the clock which read 3:42. The more I try to push out thoughts of him, the more they fight to invade my mind. I miss him. I miss being next to him, Sharing those little intimate moments. It’s true when they say that nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it. I sigh, standing and moving gently through the rooms, stopping at the kitchen sink, grabbing a glass and getting water from the faucet. I turned the tap off, moving the glass to my lips, looking out of the window, the faint movement of the trees in the breeze. Maybe that’s what I need… Some air.

I washed the glass and sat it on the drainer, reaching for the towel and wiping it down, packing it away. I made my way out of the front door, softly closing it behind me, walking to the railing, crossing my arms over the wooden rail, leaning on it, pulling my thin cardigan closer to my body. I glanced around the property, noticing the orange flames still burning in the distance. I studied the small camp where my tent was, trying to see where Daryl was. My eyes moved to movement by the tree on the left of the fire, a dark silhouette leaning against the tree, staring at the house. Even in the dark I could tell it was him, after months of studying him, months of being with him.

My mind tends to calm down more the longer I look at him. The figure moved from the tree and started to move towards the house. I watched intently as he neared the house, heart racing as he stopped int front of the railing. Daryl stared at me for a moment, waiting to see what I was going to do. Staying silent, I slightly nodded at the man. He cleared his throat, looking down. “I can’t sleep without ya’.” He mumbled. “Come back.” He nodded to the tent. I remained quiet as I thought about the two options. I could go back inside and fight myself to goto sleep, or I could go back to the tent, and instantly fall asleep next to the one person who means the most. I took a step back, moving towards the door, going inside, quickly folding the blanket and sitting it on the arm rest and grabbing my boots, turning and heading back to the porch. I opened the door and noticed Daryl, walking back to his- our, little camp. As soon as my feet touched the ground I began to run after him, slamming into his back, wrapping my arms around his torso and pressing my face into his back. I felt him tense under my touch but slowly relax when he realised it was me. He stopped walking and turned himself around in my arms and hugged me, his head resting on my own, breathing in. “Come on.” He whispered, grabbing hold of my hadn’t and leading me back to the camp. He put the fire out and entered the little tent, dragging me into it behind him, laying down and pulling me against his chest, covering Gus both with the blankets.

We both settled in quite quickly, the warmth of his body next to mine letting the feel of utter content slip over me.

“Hey Daryl.” “Yeah?” “Ill make it.” I whispered. “I know.” He responded kissing the top of my head, leaning back on his arm.

The next morning I awoke, Daryl, surprisingly still asleep, holding onto me. I moved out of his grasp, and smiled down at him as he rolled over onto his stomach, resting his head on his arm. I got dressed quickly, pulling a shirt over my head, looking down as I heard Daryl stir. “I like ya’ better without it.” He smirked, looking up at me. “You like me better when I wear nothing.” “Get to it then.” he sat up. “Not now.” I chuckled putting my boots on. “I’m going to check on Beth, see if Maggie and Patricia need anything.” He nodded, moving to grab his own boots. I leant down to kiss him, my hands brushing against his stubbled cheeks as he grunted into the kiss. “Hurry up and go.” He muttered gently. “Ouch.” I sarcastically chuckled. “If you don’t go now, ya’ gonna be staying.” He warned. “Okay, I get it.” I shook my head, walking out of the tent. I walked to the house, running into Andrea on the way. “Morning.” She smiled. “Morning.” I nodded. “Checking up on Beth too?” “Yeah, I just want to try to be as much help as I can be.” I smiled softly as we walked up the front steps. We walked inside and both made our way upstairs, entering the room Beth was in. Maggie was sat on the end of the bed, her hand softly running Beth’s calve. Patricia taking her temperature. “How is she?” Andrea asked.

“Dehydrated.” Patricia paused, looking up from Beth. “I’ll set up an IV. Best I can do without Hershel.” She sighed, turning to leave the room.

“Hey.” Maggie whispered moving up the bed to be closer to her sister.

“Can I get you anything?” Andrea asked her, sitting at the end of the bed.

“Nah, I just wish my dad was here.” Maggie looked up at her, looking between the two of us.

“She'll be okay. You just need to be strong for her.” “Maggie, she will be okay.” I agreed with Andrea.

“I was just reminding her about- never mind.” Maggie smiled softly shaking her head.

“No no. We’d love to hear.” I smiled.

“My dad would die if he heard this. My first summer back from college,I drove home, dumped my stuff off, went straight out to the stable for a ride. My family comes back from church and Beth grabs my things and starts unpacking my stuff upstairs.” She begins, a smile never leaving her face.

“That's sweet.”

“Yeah, until this one here starts rifling through my backpack.” She pauses briefly. “She finds this little plastic container with these pink and green candies inside. She didn't even know I was on the pill. She was so freaked out by the idea of me, boys and sex that she runs outside and chucks them in the duck pond.” She continues, water beginning to pool on her lower lash line. “And I ride up, I see this,I'm screaming. She's crying and Shawn runs outside ,thinks one of us is drowning. Soon as he figures out what's going on, the jerk busts out laughing so loud that my horse rears up and gets mud all over the three of us.” She chuckles softly. “My dad comes out, ‘what the heck is going on out here?!’ And she turns around, bats her eyelids and says, ‘we're just swimming, daddy.’ In her Sunday dress, all covered in snot and mud.”

“Rick and Glenn will get your dad back.” Andrea nodded.

“Glenn's a good guy.” Maggie nodded, brushing back Beth’s hair.

Andrea and I both nodded. “Yeah. He is.” Andrea stood up and smiled. “I’m going to go with Shane, see if anyone else wants to go find them.” “Okay.” I nodded.

Andrea left, leaving the two of us to talk. “What happened after that?” “What?” She asked looking up. “What happened after your daddy found you all at the duck pond?” “Oh, uh.” She chuckled softly. “Daddy, always melted for Beth. So when she batted those pretty little eyes, he wasn’t mad. He looked at us all, shook his head and went back inside. Shawn pushed me into the pond, I was screaming at him and then Beth pushed him in after me. After he hits the water Beth jumped in after us. We were all laughing and just splashing each other. Then Annette comes running out, screaming, ‘Beth! Beth! Not in that dress!’.” She chuckled looking down at Beth. “Sometimes, talking helps Maggie. It might seem useless, but if you talk to her it could help.”

She nodded, looking down at her sister a small smile on her face. “Do you mind?” She looked up. “Not at all, If you need anything let me know.” I smiled patting her shoulder and leaving the room. I walked downstairs, leaving the house as I went to see if anyone needed any help. “Hey T!” I called out as I walked towards, him. “Hey, what’s up?” “Need a hand? Anything I can do?” I asked. “Nah we’re alright.” “Need an extra pair of eyes?” I asked. “Not yours.” I heard a voice behind me. I spun around to see Shane walking towards the car, throwing the sheriff duffle into the trunk. “Oh come on-“ “He’s right, you ain’t coming.” Daryl drawled out. I turned to see him prepared to go out. “Guys.” Andrea spoke up as the familiar red wagon came down the drive, towards the house. We all ran to catch up with the car as it stopped. Rick stepping out of the drivers door. Carl running past everyone to get to his father. “Dad!” He smiled. “You're okay.” Maggie sighed relieved, running to Glenn, leaving Hershel standing there looking back at the two. “Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery.” Hershel called as he walked to the house.

“Are you hurt?” Lori asked, checking her husband who was just as quick to check her out.

“No, but what happened to you?” He asked.

“I was in a car accident.” She looked down.

“Accident? How?” He asked.

“I went looking for you.”

“Snuck out on her own. Brought her back.” Shane and Lori answered Simultaneously “Are you crazy? You could've-“

T-Dog stepped forward, pointing to the car. “Who the hell is that?”

“That's Randall.” Glenn nodded at the younger boy with a red make shift blindfold. We all moved closer to the car, only for Daryl to grab my hand and pull me back, shaking his head softly at me.

Rick and Glenn carried the boy to the shed where Patricia and Hershel had began to set up and operating table for the boy. “Everyone in the house, we need to talk.” Rick called out.

We all met in the Greene’s dining room, some of us sitting, others standing.

“We couldn't just leave him behind. He would've bled out, if he lived that long.” Rick stated resting his leg on the dining chair.

“It's gotten bad in town.” Glenn stated looking at his hands, avoiding Maggie.

“What do we do with him?” Andrea asked. The room was quiet, save the sound of the back door opening.

“I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week.” Hershel spoke as he walked into the room, wiping his hands on a hand towel.

“When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way.” Rick nodded.

“Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?” Andrea asked. Daryl walked in, a small nod toward Carol and leaning against the wall next to the window sill I was sitting on.

“He'll have a fighting chance.” Rick tried.

“Just gonna let him go? He knows where we are.” Shane answered.

“He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat.” Rick tried to get his point across.

“Not a threat. How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain't gonna come looking?” Shane shook his head.

“They left him for dead. No one is looking.” Rick glared at him.

“We should still post a guard.” T-dog suggested.

“He's out cold right now, will be for hours.” Hershel stated.

“You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy.” Shane scoffed moving around the table. i went to stand up to stop Shane, only to be met with Daryls arm as he held it out in front of me, keeping me next to him. “Look at this, folks- we back in fantasyland.” Shane stated, walking towards the door.

“You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet. Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all- this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour- keep your mouth shut.” Hershel spoke, following Shane. Shane stared at Hershel and stayed silent, sighing and walking away after a moment. “We're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off.” Rick stated as everyone started to leave the room.

I could tell by now that the next week, was going to be a long week.

Series Masterlist

Next part

#daryl dixion imagine #daryl x you #daryl x reader #daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #twd #The Walking Dead

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spookyceph · 4 years ago

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ShigaDabi Week Day 6 | Distance

Rating: SFW

Warnings: Brief descriptions of medical equipment/IVs; swearing; Dabi being gloomy

Summary: It was better than nothing, but Dabi still hated seeing him this way.

Absence

So close, yet so far. He’d heard the phrase plenty of times. Mostly when he’d still been Touya and chasing his father’s approval. But Dabi had never applied it to anything in his own life until half an inch of acrylic separated him from Tomura.

He brought flowers with him to the lab again. As expected, the old ones had dried up. Trying not to think about how much it had in common with making offerings to the dead, Dabi pulled the withered bouquet of azaleas from the slim vase sitting on top of the machine monitoring Tomura’s vitals. In went the new bunch. Forget-Me-Nots this time. One good thing about the PLF gig was money no longer being an obstacle. He could have whatever shipped in and put it all on President Dickhead’s tab. It was the least the simpering shit bag could do in return for Dabi not roasting him over a spit. Especially after what he had done to Tomura’s hand.

Tomura.

Dabi stopped fiddling with the flowers. Forced himself to take a deep breath. Finally looked at the suspension tank.

It was better than nothing, but Dabi still hated seeing him this way. Floating in whatever liquid filled the thing like some weird jellyfish. Tubes shoved down his throat, breathing for him. IVs poked all over, pumping fluids in and sucking out others. Under the black compression suit, Tomura’s body had gained a bit of bulk. Probably just from receiving decent nutrition again. Above the oxygen mask, his eyes moved back and forth behind closed lids. Whatever he dreamed about didn’t dent his brow with worry. Despite the gross medical equipment he looked healthy. Peaceful.

Dabi shook with the suppressed urge to slam his fist into the acrylic anyway. Tomura needed the rest. He’d earned it ten times over. But why did it have to fucking be this—as one of Ujiko’s science projects? Sure, Tomura had explained the situation about his quirk outpacing his physical limits. About All For One. That didn’t do a damn thing to soothe the need to do something howling inside of Dabi like an angry ghost. If Tomura were in a bed, at least he could’ve touched him. Held his hand. Breathed in the dry parchment scent of his skin and hair. Rested his head on his chest and listened to the tempo of his heart. Tasted the familiar tang of salt and blood on his lips with a kiss. As it was, all Dabi could do was seethe. State. Bring some sorry ass flowers that would never be seen. A whole lot of fucking nothing, in other words.

He finally understood Tomura’s need to scratch. Just a little. The desperation to release the festering rage and poisonous knowledge that he couldn’t do anything. Plenty of things were coming into focus now that Dabi had fewer crises to distract him.

Placing his hands on the tank, Dabi rested his forehead against it and closed his eyes. “Miss you,” he said quietly. Tomura couldn’t hear him, but he wasn’t so sure about the nomu around them. “We all do. The others keep finding reasons to pester me even though they literally have their own armies to run. They’re trying to keep me from moping, I think. Can’t say I blame them. I’m a fucking drag to be around when I’m feeling sorry for myself.”

He opened his eyes and stared up at the beloved face. Not a twitch. Even if there had been, it was only random nerves firing. Dabi had spent enough time around hospitals and dying people to know that.

“I wasn’t supposed to live this long.” It’s like walking through the woods and tripping over skeletons buried in shallow graves, these little revelations. “I don’t know what to do with myself. But I can figure it out as long as you’re a part of it.” A smile quivered on his lips for a moment before collapsing under the strain. “Not sure whether you’d laugh or slap me if you heard me say that. Guess I could wonder when I’d gone soft, but we both know the answer to that one. So, just…” Dabi swallowed hard, fingers curling against the thin but insurmountable barrier between them. “Just come back. To us. To me. Okay?”

He left after that. Ujiko had plenty to laugh about already if he’d been watching on camera. And he needed to check on Twice—Hawks had taken to hanging around him too much for Dabi’s taste lately. Like a fucking vulture. Anyway, Compress insisted on having an after dinner drink with him. A not-so-sneaky way to make sure he ate and was unable to curl up in a corner and die somewhere.

For all the frustration, though, Dabi couldn’t really complain about either situation. If he was going to get used to this whole living business, he needed the practice.

#shigadabi fic #shigadabi #shigaraki x dabi #dabi #dabi x shigaraki #shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #angst #oneshot #ficlet #short oneshot #pining #canon compliant

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starryknight09 · 4 years ago

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This is going to hurt

Febuwhump Day 16: broken bones

Read on AO3.

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“Come on Spiderman.” Peter mumbled as he stood on the ledge of the building. Heights hadn’t scared him ever since he’d gotten his powers, but standing up here now, if felt different. Even though he was in his old Spiderman suit with his webshooters attached to his wrists, it all took on a completely different feeling now that he’d lost his powers. A month ago he’d gotten hit by some weird ray gun and ever since then his powers had remained dormant.

Tony kept trying to convince him they’d figure it out, and at first Peter had believed him, but now after a month of no progress, he was starting to lose hope. No matter how many times Tony had tried to tell him they just needed a little more time and Peter just needed to be patient, Peter couldn’t help but worry. What if they couldn’t figure it out? He couldn’t go back to being just Peter Parker. He couldn’t. Peter Parker was a loser. A nerdy nobody. He didn’t know what he’d do if he couldn’t be Spiderman.

Then this morning he’d had an idea. Tony was Ironman without any powers, so maybe he could still be Spiderman even without his powers. He wasn’t deluded. He knew he couldn’t go out and fight crime right now, but if he put in some crazy work and training, maybe someday he could get there. And maybe without his powers he could still swing. He just needed a little hope. And that’s why he was standing on top of a four story building staring down at the street. He’d been afraid to try any higher. Even this height made his heart pump with adrenaline.

“You can do this.” He tried to convince himself. “You can. You do this all the time. You’re Spiderman.”

He took a deep breath. In. Out.

“Ok. Time to jump.” He said but his feet stayed firmly planted on the roof.

He took another calming breath. “Ok. On three. One. Two. Three.”

His feet remained stuck.

“Stop being a chicken.” He mumbled, annoyed at his cowardice. “Jump. Come on. Do it. Do it. Do it!”

He jumped. The fall that used to invigorate him just sent terror through his veins. He fumbled with his webshooter for a moment before his fingers found the button, sending a web over to the opposite building. It tightened and for a second and he was flying, swinging like he always used to as Spiderman. He got to the peak of his arc and released his web. He was actually doing it!

Oh shit. He needed to shoot another web. His eyes searched frantically for the next best place to anchor it, but it was a lot harder without his super senses. As the space between himself and the ground rapidly decreased, h haphazardly shot a web out, hoping it would stick somewhere to stop his descent. It stuck. But he’d misjudged the placement of it, and instead of swinging into an open alley, he was headed straight toward the wall of the building.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. This is going to hurt. Was all he had time to think before he slammed into the brick.

The absolute force of it rang through his entire body even into his teeth and made him lose his grip on the web. He floundered in midair before smacking into the concrete alleyway below, narrowly missing a dumpster.

He let out a whimper of a breath, his cheek pressed against the ground. Ouch. The understatement of the century. As Spiderman he could get hurt. The mutation didn’t make him invincible, but he didn’t realize until now that part of the mutation helped with his pain tolerance, because he couldn’t remember ever being in as much pain as Spiderman as he was in right now. And that was saying something because he’d been stabbed, concussed, shot, and broken bones before, and it’d never felt like this.

This was terrible all encompassing pain. He couldn’t even figure out where he hurt the most. Oh shit. He’d really messed up. Tears prickled in his eyes, but it hurt too much to cry so they just dripped silently out the corners.

He had no idea how long he laid there. Time lost all meaning as he focused solely on breathing through the agony. Breathe in. Out. In. Out. Eventually some semblance of rational thought returned. He didn’t know if the pain had gotten a tiny bit better or if he’d acclimated to the all consuming nature of it, but he finally had enough mental fortitude to start thinking about what he needed to do. As much as he wanted to lay there forever and not move, he knew he couldn’t. He needed help. He needed…his phone.

With the way he’d landed on his left side, his right arm was free with his hand resting mere inches from his pocket. One lucky break. He inched it into his pocket, scissoring his phone between two of his fingers, and pulled it out. There was no way he could lift it to his face, but he didn’t need to. He tapped the home button five times in rapid succession, the sequence Tony had programmed into it as an SOS call. Almost instantly he felt it start buzzing as Tony undoubtedly tried calling him. He didn’t answer. It stopped buzzing for a few seconds before it started up again. Tony was probably freaking out, and Peter hated that his worry wouldn’t be unfounded for once.

Peter let his eyes slide shut, not wanting to keep staring at the alley wall inches from his face. It wouldn’t be long now. Tony would be appropriately panicked out by now, which meant he’d take the suit, and since he lived in the city, having moved back with Morgan and Pepper after the Thanos thing, it should be only a few minutes until he arrived.

Even though he’d been expecting it, the clang of Ironman landing next to his crumpled form still surprised him. Usually he would’ve heard him coming from miles away. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to not having his super senses.

“Peter!” Tony’s fear seeped into his voice.

Peter groaned so the man would at least know he was conscious.

Tony knelt down next to him and Peter cracked his eyes open to catch the man’s hand hovering inches above his shoulder before abandoning the idea of touching him. “Shit kid. What were you—”

Tony stopped and frowned, obviously noticing that he had on his old Spiderman suit because the man gently pulled his mask off. A second later Peter could see it in his eyes. The exact moment Tony realized what must’ve happened. What Peter had been doing. Why he was wearing his old suit. The man’s eyes widened in shocked disbelief before he looked up, taking in how far Peter must’ve fallen.

“I’m sorry.” He rasped out.

“Don’t…don’t move kid.” Tony said instead of chewing him out like he’d expected.

He hummed in acknowledgement.

“FRIDAY scan him and call for an emergency medivac.”

Peter didn’t hear her response or the outcome of her scan, the AI probably feeding the information directly into Tony’s ear.

“It really hurts.” He mumbled. “It’s never hurt like this before.”

“I know but it’s going to be ok. Just hang in there. The med team will be here soon and we’ll get you back to the compound.” Tony tried to reassure him, but Peter could hear the anxiety in his tone.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, more tears sliding down his cheeks. “It was…it was stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s ok.” Tony comforted, lightly brushing the tears off his cheeks. “We’ll, uh, we’ll talk about it later. Just try to concentrate on something else.”

He tried to but thinking about anything besides the pain was near impossible. He whimpered.

“It’s all right.” Tony tried to soothe him. “Here. Squeeze my hand.” Tony put his hand in Peter’s and Peter gave it a light squeeze, surprised it didn’t make anything hurt worse, and it almost did help as something to focus on. Another wave of pain crashed over him and he gripped it harder, not having to worry about squeezing too hard because his super strength was gone. He let his entire world shrink down to holding Tony’s hand and concentrating on breathing as Tony continued to speak softly to him in reassurance.

When the medivac team finally arrived, Peter barely noticed them buzzing around him until they put a neck brace on him and rolled him onto a backboard. He scrunched his eyes closed and grit his teeth as they strapped him down. Man, that had hurt, and the new position left him feeling claustrophobic, especially when they placed an oxygen mask over his face. He frowned, not sure how else to show his displeasure. If he opened his mouth to try to say something, he worried he might scream.

Something poked him in his arm, barely noticeable in comparison to all the pain emitting from the rest of his body. A few seconds later he felt a burning sensation as they injected something into the IV they’d placed, and the pain receded almost instantaneously, his body slackening in relief.

“Better?” Tony asked, still hovering next to him.

Peter hummed his appreciation, eyes slipping closed. Now that the pain had stopped assaulting him, he was exhausted. He vaguely registered the medics lifting him and then they were moving toward something. Something annoyingly loud.

“Just a short helicopter ride and we’ll be at the compound.” Tony said and Peter realized all the noise was from the rotating blades of the helicopter as it waited in the middle of the street. That had to be all kinds of illegal. But he doubted Tony cared. Peter didn’t care either. Of all the things he’d done, he’d never actually ridden in a helicopter before. They loaded him in, Tony taking a seat right beside him and slipping his hand back in Peter’s as soon as they were settled.

Peter gave it a squeeze, determined to stay awake to experience the helicopter ride, but the painkillers pulled him down and he faded out before they even took off.

Awareness came. And went. Came back. And left again. Lapping at him like gentle waves. Until suddenly it was just there.

He opened his eyes and instantly recognized the medbay since he’d spent more than his fair share of time there. The lights were dimmed to their lowest setting so it must be nighttime. Peter took a moment to take stock of himself. He hurt, but in that detached way that signaled he was on some heavy duty painkillers. He glanced down at his legs. The right one was in a cast from his foot all the way up to his hip and propped up on a plethora of pillows. Peter wiggled his toes and let out a sigh of relief when they moved. Thank god. He continued to peruse the rest of his body. He laid shirtless so he could see all the angry bruises covering the entire left side of his chest. Ouch. His left arm was casted up to his armpit and in a sling, resting on its own pillow so it didn’t touch his bruised left side. He recognized the tickle in his nose as an oxygen cannula. Man. He’d really messed himself up.

Regret settled in and he closed his eyes with a sigh before opening them again a few seconds later. As he turned his head, looking for a clock, his eyes settled on a figure slumped in a chair next to his bed. Everything was blurry without his glasses, but he easily recognized the man without them. Tony. His mentor’s head was craned sideways, practically resting on his shoulder, fast asleep. Peter winced in sympathy. That position looked really uncomfortable.

“Hey.” He said, deciding to wake him up. Maybe if he saw Peter was awake and doing fine, he’d be ok with leaving to sleep in an actual bed.

Tony startled at the noise, straightening up and grabbing at his neck with a grimace before freezing when he noticed Peter was awake and watching him.

“Pete?” He whispered, leaning forward. “You awake?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s the pain?”

“It’s ok.” He didn’t know if that’d hold true if he tried moving, but as long as he laid still it was fine.

“Good.” Tony nodded as he searched the sheets for something. He found it and placed the plastic cylinder with a button on top in Peter’s hand. “If it starts to hurt you push this button, ok?”

He nodded, licking his lips, before asking, “How bad is it?”

Tony ran a hand through his hair and sat back in his chair with a sigh. “You’re going to live, but you broke six of your ribs on your left side, your left wrist, arm, and collarbone, and every bone in your right leg. They had to put a rod in it.”

“Ouch.” He mumbled.

“There was some internal bleeding too, but it stopped on its own, so you shouldn’t need surgery for it.”

Peter swallowed hard. “Sounds serious.”

“That’s an understatement.” Tony said, voice taking on a slightly angry edge. “Do you know how incredibly lucky you are?”

“Don’t really feel lucky.” He huffed. Oops. He hadn’t really meant to say that. It’d just slipped out. He was definitely on some good drugs.

“Well you are.” Tony shot him a disapproving look. “You’re going to be able to walk away from this when you just as easily could’ve died.”

He winced. “I’m sorry Tony.”

Tony let out a heavy sigh before asking almost desperately, “What were you thinking?”

Oh. So they were going to talk about it. He supposed that made sense, but he didn’t think the timing was exactly fair since he had a hard time censoring himself when he was high on painkillers. And Tony knew it.

“I just…” He fought the urge to fidget knowing it would probably hurt. “I just wanted to prove that I could still be Spiderman even without my powers.”

“Kid…” Peter hated how torn up Tony sounded.

“I know it was stupid.” He added, not wanting to face Tony’s pity. “I know. I guess I just thought if I could at least still swing around then maybe Spiderman wasn’t really gone for good. But obviously I can’t even do that…”

“Pete, how many times do I have to tell you Spiderman’s not gone? He’s just on a hiatus.” Tony said, voice softening.

“It’s been over a month.” Peter argued. “My powers aren’t coming back.”

“They will.” Tony said and Peter hated how certain he sounded when Peter felt anything but. “Your mutation is still there. Your powers are still there. We just need to get rid of whatever’s suppressing them, and Bruce is really close. He thinks he’ll have it figured out in the next week or so.”

“Really?” He asked tentatively, afraid to hope.

“Really.” Tony reached out to squeeze his good hand. “You just need to be patient a little longer, but you’ll be back to swinging in no time. Well, after you heal from all this. Hopefully we can get your powers back sooner rather than later so you don’t have to be laid up for too long.”

“Are you sure?” He still couldn’t believe it.

“Of course I’m sure. Would I lie to you about this?”

“No.” Peter knew he wouldn’t.

“Then trust me. We’re going to get you your powers back.”

Peter sighed in relief. “Thank god. You have no idea how scared I was that I was going to have to go back to being just stupid Peter Parker.”

“Hey.” Tony chastised, giving his hand another squeeze. “I think Peter Parker’s pretty great.”

“Not like Spiderman.”

“No, you’re right. He’s not.” Tony agreed and Peter’s heart fell for a second before Tony added, “He’s better.”

The corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile. “Thanks.”

“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true.” Tony shrugged. “Now, if I were you, I’d try to get some sleep because you’re going to need all your energy to explain yourself to your scary aunt tomorrow.”

He groaned. “She’s here? You told her?”

“Of course I told her. You jumped off a four story building and almost broke every bone in your body!”

Peter winced.

“She was here sitting with you until I sent her to bed a few hours ago.”

“She’s going to kill me.”

“Well she’s definitely not happy. She’s got a nice lecture all prepared. She practiced it on me. It’s a doozy.”

Peter groaned again.

“So, as I was saying,” Tony continued as he pulled the covers up to his shoulders, “you should rest up tonight because you’re going to need all your strength tomorrow.”

Tony wasn’t wrong, and Peter was tired. Their short conversation had sapped his energy. His eyes slipped closed for a second before he opened them again, remembering something. “Hey Tony?”

“Hm?” Tony looked up from where he’d already been typing away at something on his phone.

“You don’t have to stay. You can go sleep in your own bed if you want. I’ll be all right.” He told him before closing his eyes again.

Instead of walking out, Tony smoothed down his blankets and ran a hand over his hair. “I’m staying kid. Get some sleep.”

Peter had to work to keep the smile off his face as he did exactly that.

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhump #irondad

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