#sorry that im really good at putting on a brave face and acting normal i guess

[arundolyn]

its very tiring and makes me deeply sad how often people irl kinda i guess just forget that i Have A Lot Going On and am deeply affected by it even though im not like. overwhelmed to the point of being catatonic and non functional. like its always omg that sucks if i can help let me know until i guess the way you need help is kinda inconvenient or theyre treating you like youre Normal and theres nothing going on and it just doesnt feel worth bringing up that since youre actively in the middle of a life altering crisis no youre not really Over it or at any point really feeling Normal and everything is really hard as a whole including literally just eating food or sleeping kinda okay and existing and not feeling exhausted and dead inside so could you maybe be a little bit nicer to me about it. thats too awkward and hard to say out loud and it makes me feel like a baby for caring at all

[jungxk]

crush

filed under. i totally forgot i wrote this. also i like the name eunmi sue me 

notes. thank you to @lonelyending for reading thru this crusty story and making me feel good enough about it again to post it. also @suga-kookiemonster bc im pretty sure i sent u this like a year ago and u told me to post it it but....i forgot abt it shdgjsgd. writing/life in general has been hard recently so pls accept this kookfic to hold yous over until i update just one

genre. fluff, light comedy, light angst, smut

warnings. smut (oral sex: f receiving, penetrative unprotected sex) 

length. 5.1k

the first thing jungkook thinks when he sees you is wow.

he hasn't been up for very long, and you don't even know he's looking at you through the window. yoongi-hyung has wrapped you up in his arms as you sob and sob, muted behind the protective hospital glass. even with messy hair and wet eyes he's starstruck. it's why he recoils slightly when jimin and namjoon explain to him that you're his wife.

"my," he can't even say the word. "my..."

"your wife," namjoon repeats. "you know what a wife is, right? marriage?"

"yes," jungkook huffs, digging his nails into his scalp. "i lost my memory, hyung, not my fucking brain cells." 

he suddenly registers the gold band glistening on his left hand, simple and heavy. he has to take a second to collect himself. "but...but i'm twenty-three. right? i am twenty-three, yeah?"

"yeah. you are," jimin says softly.

"then how the fuck am i already married? not that i'm complaining i just," he suddenly turns pink at the thought of you in a wedding dress, clinging onto his arm, breakfast dates, late night ramen runs at the convenience store, painting the living room in a house you probably share, naked in bed on top of him. jungkook clears his throat. "it just seems a little out of character for me. i can't commit to a pair of shoes for a week let alone-"

"i think it's best if you just spoke with ____," jimin finishes before jungkook can work himself into a frenzy, a comforting hand laying on his shoulder. "you two need to talk anyway and it's best if all these answers came from her."

jungkook gulps at the thought of speaking to you, seeing you face to face. suddenly he's a cripplingly shy fourteen year old again.

"okay." he croaks. "okay."

x

x

x

you were even more beautiful up close.

your tear stained cheeks are glowing and blotchy when you perch on the chair beside his bed, big eyes fluttering up at him nervously. you're soft and plush and shorter than he thought and jungkook has to fist his hands in the sheets and play a counting game with the heart rate monitor in order to maintain eye contact. he feels himself start to sweat when you smile sadly at him. "sorry, i just...i don't know how to be around you normally without making you uncomfortable," you say quietly, wringing your hands together to avoid touching him.

"uncomfortable?" he queries, gaze latching onto the ring on your hand. seeing it on you gives him a nice feeling.

you nod into your lap. "yeah, um..." you look at your scuffed shoes, searching for the word. "we're usually very...touchy."

he can feel himself turning red again. "t-touchy?"

you meet his eyes and a pretty smile breaks over your face at how bashful he looks, making jungkook's cheeks tinge even pinker than they already are. you nod cutely so your earrings tinkle, eyes shining, and suddenly he understands without any context why he fell in love with you, why he married you so young. you let a comfortable silence settle over the room before taking a deep breath, bracing yourself. "how much do you remember, jungkook?"

he tries not to cave under the weight of his guilt. "not a lot about...you, that is," he finishes with a wince, your sad eyes immediately making him wilt with shame. "i remember everything up until a couple of years ago. we had a show at the japanese dome, debuted in america, and then...nothing. and now..."

"and now," you echo softly. your eyes look distant, staring at the floor.

"i'm sorry," jungkook whispers, chin touching his chest. "hyung told me...they all told me how much i loved you and...and i'm sorry i don't remember any of it. i'm so sorry."

you shake your head gently. "don't be sorry, jungkook-ah," the pet name makes his ears perk up. its a familiar, calming sound. "none of this is your fault. you didn't ask to get hit by that car." your expression turns remorseful, tugging at his heart. "if anything, this is because of me. the only reason you were out was because i asked you to go and get eggs and formula even though i should've remembered to pick some up on the way home and-"

"no, no! please don't blame yourself," jungkook tries, wishing he was close enough or even brave enough to take your hand. you look up at him and he catches a glimpse of the endless pool of love you harbour for him, like a punch to the chest. "i don't ever want you thinking this was your fault. so ple-" he pauses. "wait, formula?"

the door bursts open before he can finish, pitter patter steps rounding his bed until it reaches the other side, where you sit. a little girl with big dark eyes and curls of dark hair stares at him in wonder and elation, her cheeks dimpling just like yours before she screeches, "appa!"

jungkook's mouth goes dry. appa?

you're quick to intervene, putting yourself in the toddlers path to scoop her up in your arms. her grabby little hands struggle over your shoulder, fingers wriggling in attempt to get as close to jungkook as possible. he only stares with wide eyes and an open mouth, heart hammering in his chest when he sees the uncanny resemblances: his round nose. your brown skin but just a twinge fairer. his hooded eyes. and his stomach lurches.

"shhh, eunmi," you coo as you carry her away even with her squirming. "remember what i said before? appa is sick. appa is sick, baby-"

"we have a child?" jungkook wheezes, eyes starting to glaze over. there's a bout of silence when you look back at him guiltily, the baby's fumbling grinding to a halt when she registers the tension in the air. jungkook's breath is barely a whisper. "is that my daughter?"

your face crumples with a fresh bout of tears and eunmi looks on worriedly. she pushes her little lips into your cheek in a baby's kiss, like she's seen her father do so many times to get your attention. the word "amma," is muffled into your skin until you get yourself together and press a short kiss to her head.

yoongi rushes in, face twisted in apology. "i swear to god i turned around for one minute and-"

"it's okay, yoongi," you say quietly, stroking the baby's head. "eunmi, stay with uncle just a bit longer, okay? amma will be back in a minute..."

"appa," she whines over your shoulder, reaching for jungkook who sits helplessly in his bed. he watches with tears wetting his eyelashes, heart twisting in agony at the sight of his child he doesn't remember stretching her arms out for him. she begins to cry when he doesn't react or coo her. like he used to.

"take her, yoongi," you say shakily, passing the baby to him. the sound of eunmi's crying makes your heart shatter all over again, yoongi's quiet hushing doing nothing to qualm her sobbing as the heavy door closes behind them.

the silence that falls between the two of you is nothing short of excruciating. jungkook's head spins, completely overwhelmed: is that why you both got married so young? because of a child? was this why jimin and namjoon wouldn't say a damn thing about his life until he spoke to you first?

and then all the other questions that followed: was he a good father? when was his daughter's birthday? did she like kimchi and banana milk too? did he sing to her? read to her often?

would she ever forgive him for not being able to remember her?

"her name is eunmi," you say, looking down at the floor when jungkook starts to cry.

x

x

x

jungkook doesn't understand how his baby could be so pretty. she's golden brown like those sandy beaches on postcards, with chubby cheeks and twinkling dark eyes that resemble yours to a t, and that's when he realises of course she's beautiful. she's yours. you balance eunmi on your hip while you make coffee - decaf, since you're still weaning - and despite the amnesia jungkook feels like he's been here before, in this warm, happy place that is the kitchen.

"she got your nose though," you remind him, dumping the baby in his lap upon her fussing. she always seemed to wind down under his touch, and although nervous about the sudden responsibility of fatherhood, jungkook is compelled to give it. eunmi doesn't understand anything's changed so he doesn't see why he should act like it. "she's whiny before her milk too. like you."

"hey!" he retorts, but can't exactly defend himself. he twirls his fingers around her curly pigtails until she catches on and tries to stand on his thighs, reaching for his hair to yank. jungkook lets her. he's barely known his daughter a week and he's already so smitten he'd let her gut him open with a butter knife.

"she missed you, you know. when you were in hospital all this time," you say, making him look up to watch you stare into your drink. the fear still lingers in your eyes, faint and persistent. he can see it every time you look at him and it makes his body yearn to touch you like he once did, like he once would have before his brain unlearned everything his heart didn't. you laugh while watching eunmi pull his hair again, making him hiss. "even yoongi tried but no one coddles her as much as you."

"really?" he asks, face lighting up. he's so happy to hear that. jungkook hates the way the question bubbles up in the back of his throat, like it'd make a difference or it'd change how he felt. but he has to ask it. "is that why...is that why we got married so early, then?" he says, trying to sound as offhand as possible. "because of eunmi?"

you chew your lip. "yeah. i mean, you said it wasn't a big deal. because you were going to marry me eventually so it didn't make a difference, but...it doesn't really matter i guess, because that's not what everyone else thinks," you pause, tracing the rim of your mug again. "that's certainly not what your fans think."

jungkook doesn't even want to think about it. the backlash, the gossip, the name calling and dehumanisation. for the first time in his life jungkook couldn't give less of a shit about his reputation. "i'm sorry," he says, feeling like the word has lost meaning by now with how much he's said it. "i'm so sorry. not for this, for us or for eunmi. i don't regret any of that i just," he shifts the baby in his lap, still getting used to her weight. "i can only imagine what you went through."

you look a bit bewildered. "...you said that last time too." you smile again reassuringly. "please don't feel solely responsible, kook-ah. you didn't exactly get me pregnant on your own."

he flushes tomato red and you giggle at him until eunmi joins in too.

x

x

x

jungkook can't keep his eyes off you while you play with the baby, comb out her hair, sing her lullabies while you bathe her together. he'd always wanted a whirlwind romance as a teen and it looks like he finally got it, because he can feel himself fall head first in love with you (all over again). it didn’t make sense for someone to be so collected and easygoing after having motherhood forced onto you so abruptly. you tell him often that he's a picture-perfect dad, but jungkook still doubts he compares.

"does she need a change?" he asks, struggling to keep all of eunmi's wriggling limbs in his grip.

"nope, just hungry," you say, reaching out when he passes the baby to you. you're about to stand up and go to the guest room to feed her, but jungkook is already arranging the pillows next to him for you, grabbing a baby cloth on the side too.

"do you need another pillow?" he muses aloud, but he's already grabbing the ones on his side of the bed before you can answer, forming a wedge for you to sit nicely beside him. he looks up at you when you fail to move. "are you okay?"

"yeah i, um," you chew your lip nervously. "you don't...mind me feeding here?"

you immediately regret the question once it leaves your mouth. jungkook's crestfallen expression hits you right in the stomach, round eyes glittering up at you. he hasn't looked this upset since he woke up nearly a month ago. "why would i ever mind?”

"oh jungkook," you sniff, sitting beside him. he pulls you into the nest of pillows beside him, arm winding protectively around your shoulders. your eyes brim with sympathy tears, tired and angry and upset with treating him like a stranger.

"if i make you feel uncomfortable, i can go," he offers quietly. "if it makes you feel weird i understand..."

"no, not at all," you rush to stop him, suddenly realising how close you are. you could kiss his pink little lips if you just tilted your head up. "i just didn't want to make you feel weird. all this new stuff is happening to you, you're suddenly a husband and a father with no recollection of signing up or it and i just...i don't know how much you want to invest the second time around," you scramble to finish your sentence when he pins you with a concerned expression. “as in, i understand if you don’t want to make the same choice twice. it’s a big decision.”

he shakes his head dismissively. there wasn't a thing in the world that could make him turn his back on his family but it looked like you still needed convincing. he peers at you curiously when you position the baby. "so i can stay?"

you smile at him eagerly. "of course," you undo the nursing strap of your bra before the baby finally latches. "i actually prefer it when you're here. it makes me feel safe."

jungkook watches quietly while you hum for the baby, playing with her little hand while she drinks. the adoration seeps out of him in waves, how serene you look while you rock her, how angelic eunmi looks while she blinks her big doll eyes up at you both. she won't stay this little forever. he feels so overwhelmed by it, gathering you further in his arms with the urge to hold his family in his hands like a diamond. you don't question the little sniffles jungkook buries into your hair, resting your head on his shoulder wordlessly. you missed being held by him, missed his cotton scent and gentle breath.

"i love her so much," he whispers into the shell of your ear, entranced by the baby's little gurgles and gulps. he reaches out to run his knuckle over the velvet of her cheek, round and stuffed with milk. "i feel like i'll die, i love her so much."

"me too," you smile. "it was scary and hard for a long time but...i'm so glad we had her. i wouldn't trade her for anything."

you feel jungkook's lips trace your temple, heart stuttering upon the sudden contact. you hear what he doesn’t say: i wouldn't trade either of you.

x

x

x

"why are you so sweaty?" jimin scowls, noting the dark patches under jungkook's t-shirt when he tries to take the baby from his arms. "it's not even humid today."

jungkook doesn't do anything but gulp and cuddle a sleeping eunmi closer to his chest. she's become somewhat of a security blanket for him; even if she wasn't awake to play, he was always itching to hold her and nuzzle into her head when he's tense or embarrassed. like now.

"leave him alone, you know he sweats when he's shy," yoongi grins.

"stop it," jungkook mumbles.

"shy? what for?"

"because he's got a crush on his wife," namjoon snickers, knowing jungkook would whack him one if his arms weren't around his kid. "why are you looking at me like that? it's true!"

"but you can't just say it! she'll hear!" he hisses.

"you're married," jimin deadpans but it only makes the younger boy curl in on his baby more. "god, this reminds of when you two met. remember how he used to hide behind manager hyung every time ____ came in? and then i had to listen to them fuck in the next room for a year only to end up back here all over again-"

"jungkook," you call. "where did these come from?" you walk into the sitting room with a bouquet of yellow roses nestled in your arms. "did a fan send them? i didn't see a note they were just on the worktop-"

"th-those are for you," he mumbles. "i got those for you."

you look so pretty when you stare it makes him sweat harder and the three older boys all but burst a vein in their head trying not to laugh when leaving the room. there's an awkward silence where you clutch the flowers and he clutches the baby. "thank you," you say finally. "they're beautiful, i love the colour yellow..."

his big doe eyes round up to look at you even though the lower half of his face is smushed into pigtails. "you're welcome."

"can i kiss you?" you blurt out, too fast to stop it. your cheeks are still stinging and you're pretty sure you have baby powder in your hair but jungkook looks at you with awe as he nods so vigorously his earrings shake.

so you do, leaning over the arm of the sofa to press your mouth over his long enough for both your breaths to catch. you pull away, moving to sit next to him so his free arm can wind around your shoulders when you kiss him again. "please," he mumbles when you part. "please don't ask to kiss me. just do it," he leans for another long, warm kiss that leaves you light headed. "stop tip-toeing around me, okay? we're married. i know i scare easy, but not that easy."

you feel giddy, finally feeling the weight being lifted piece by piece. "okay," you peck his mole endearingly before scooting up for another kiss. "i missed this."

"me too," he hums into your mouth. "it feels like the first time but also...not the first time, you know? not just because i don't remember but like," he doesn't know how to say it, wetting his lips thoughtfully. your chapstick is cherry flavoured, his favourite. "like we've been doing this for longer than both of us even realise. longer than this life."

"i know," you nod. "i know."

x

x

x

after a while, you forgot about jungkook's amnesia altogether. even though the chances of him making a full recovery were slim, it all felt so normal and back to routine, all the kissing and the cuddling and the playing with eunmi. there was almost no room for trepidation anymore. until now.

you moan into jungkook's mouth when he pulls you onto his thighs, big hands palming your ass when you grind into him. he's only mildly concerned that he'll cum in his pants at this rate but he doesn't fret too much: that was secondary to undressing you and touching you and pleasing you and making you scream as loud as he could make you without waking the baby. he has nearly three years of re-learning your body to catch up on and he's eager to start.

he's quickly reminded during this process that you are a master. you know exactly where to kiss him, exactly how much pressure to kneed into his cock with your hips, exactly how much tongue he wants in his mouth until he's whining and damp for you. of course you know his body like the back of your hand - your child wasn't conceived from thin air. it makes him all the more desperate to learn, almost antsy to get his mouth and hands on you until you're writhing and breathless beneath him.

you gasp when you feel his hand slip between your legs, rubbing his fingers over your shorts. you automatically rock your covered wetness into his touch, the long whimper you muffle into his neck sending jungkook soaring through the clouds with pride. you're so lost in the feeling, having missed it so much, you're barely able to squeak a stop! when he hooks his fingers inside the waistband of your panties.

his eyes shoot open. "what's wrong?"

"j-jungkook," you shuffle in his grip, feeling so embarrassed under his scrutiny you don't know where to look. "it's not that i want you to stop but. listen, just," you cling to his shoulders, shivering when his hands drag reassuringly up to your waist. "just remember that...i've had a kid, okay? i'm not gonna look like before."

he blinks. "i don't remember what you looked like before."

"no, i mean like," you lick your lips, tasting him there. "it's still something to keep in mind. i'm not gonna be as smooth and perky in places like all those idol girls you perform next to, so just-" he watches you fumble nervously in his lap, the growing disbelief making him blink. "don't expect too much okay? things might not look the way you imagine them to and i don't want you to feel-"

"stop," he cuts off, tugging you so you're seated over his erection again. the look jungkook pins you with is so intense you can feel your pulse thrum in your ears, the harsh rise and fall of his chest making him appear that much more passionate. "this body," he slips his hands up your top, palming your skin. "made my child. i take offence to it being spoken about with anything less than admiration, even by you."

"kook-ah," you say nervously, but still let him remove your pj top over your head before you laying you under him on the bed. you don't know why your eyes suddenly prick with tears when he traces over your stretch marks and discoloured skin with his smooth lips. "this kept my daughter warm," he kisses under your navel, sliding up to your heavy breasts. he kisses each darkened nipple, swollen from the baby's mouth. "these feed her." he rises further still, before planting his mouth on your forehead in a short peck. "and this raises her. so how can i be anything but proud to touch you?"

"jungkook, stop," you sniff, tears wetting your lashes. your eyes fall shut when he wipes them away with his thumb, lips ghosting over your cheeks and nose.

"what did i say about tip-toeing around me?" he whispers, forcing you to look him in the eye. only then do you see the tears there, all the ardour and respect he holds for you pooling in those brown depths. "i'm your husband. let me be your husband."

you kiss him before you can start crying again, letting him part your mouth and taste you long and hard before finally undressing himself and slipping your shorts off. this is all a first for him, and it's been so long since you've done this it's almost like a first for you too, frantic and messy and desperate to feel jungkook lodged inside you where he belongs. you know he must share the sentiment when he splits your thighs over the narrow of his hips, hooking them there while he gets a good look of his erection rubbing through your slick.

no wonder i knocked her up, jungkook muses faintly. i don't think i can ever stop doing this.

"jungkook, please," you run a hand through his hair, grinding against his cock in encouragement but he still won't take the plunge. instead, your voice reminds him of his initial objective, causing him to saunter down between your legs faster than you can process. he's licking into you before you can have a second thought about it, mouth falling open with a loud moan when he traces around your clit in firm circles.

he has your knees over his shoulders and his arms wound around your hips so you have nowhere to go, nothing to do but buck into his attentive mouth, jungkook's groans vibrating against you until you can barely keep yourself together - he's always enjoyed this as much as you have. which is why he takes his time, explores every crevice and subsequent response, relishing in the gush of wetness when he does something right. he even goes as far as holding his tongue stagnant against your folds so you have no choice but to rub yourself into him for friction, so entranced he is by your invigorating reactions. only when you're squirming and whimpering with deliriousness does he finally give in and resume a steady pace over your swollen clit, two fingers sliding in home so you have something to come around. and you do.

messy and wet and shrieking into the pillow by your head so that you're muffled enough to not wake the baby down the hall, your orgasm drawing out longer than normal as you do your best to ride it out. jungkook carries you through it, gulping down as much of your arousal as he can manage until your hips finally drop back into the bed in post-climax exhaustion. on the contrary, the only reason he stops lapping at you is because you tug him away by the hair, bringing him up to you and between your legs again before he can do anything about it.

he splutters with a moan at the sudden contact of your wetness against his cock again, eyes fluttering shut and allowing you to bring him in, arms and legs winding securely around him so that you're flush against each other, hips rocking in tandem. jungkook is so caught up in the feeling - not the sex but the safety of being held, being connected like this - that you're the one to reach down and position his tip against your hot center, before finally running your hands down your husband's back to cup his ass and shove him into you.

jungkook gasps, breath shaking at how tight you are. you're so hot, so snug around him his eyes shut upon instinct, letting your hands guide his hips and showing him how to move in that perfect rolling motion that you're only familiar with after years of practice. and jungkook, of course, is a fast learner. it doesn't take long for him to take the reigns and fuck you just how you like it, adding in a sharp snap of his hips every now and again just to listen to you squeak in surprise. the wet sounds of your joined arousal coupled with you moaning under him is near cathartic, sending him hurtling to his finish line.

but before he can get there you shift him over, thick thighs helping you roll and pin him under you on the bed. jungkook grapples at your waist when you resume a slower but harder rock of your hips that has his length grinding against your clenching walls, his head thrown back at the intensity of it. you ride him through it, peppering the moles on his pretty neck with kisses and sucks, mouth finding his stiff little nipple to give it a swirl too. it's exactly what he needs to finish off, fingers digging into your flesh as he bucks wildly, filling you full of his seed while he calls your name. you slow to a stop when his hands finally fall limp on your thighs, his chest heaving under you and covered in sweat. you giggle. he always got so sweaty.

"you did so well, kookie," you whisper, kissing his damp neck and collar bones. his arms are suddenly around you again for comfort. "you were so good for me...always so good to me..."

"you," he croaks finally, eyes half lidded and a little delirious. "you didn't finish?"

you giggle at his genuine concern, pecking his wet lips. "i got mine, remember?"

"how many times?" jungkook is suddenly alert, tugging your wrist to get your attention before you can climb off him. his other hand is still around your middle so moving was out of the question until he allowed it. he was still inside you. "how many times do i usually make you come?"

you blink in embarrassment. you never really thought about it, let alone counted. "um...i don't know..." he waits for an answer, awfully serious about it. "a-at least two or three, i guess."

you yelp when he flips you back over, fingers immediately prying your cum soaked folds apart to nestle inside. "then don't act like we're done."

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 5

a/n: ong this is going to be a bit of a crack episode w a tiny dash of flirty manager

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

-Watch the boys be all dramatic when yn misses a few days of school and suddenly show up with a broken arm😭✊🏻😔

- Dunno if this is a dream or not but i think you mentioned that yn is clumsy. Just imagine her carrying those cute band aids around for when she gets hurt. But what if she uses them on the boys when they get hurt

tumblr moot:

- She is looking down at the boy who is checking her scrap on her knee, when she smiles all cutely and shit "I fell for you" And cue the boy having a heart attack because she is way to cute

im totally not running out of seijoh gifs or anything

anyways!!

lets start!!

okay as mentioned before and as read above,,

you are quite clumsy

like there is a normal level of clumsy

but you are just on another level

like in manager part 2, your mom ltr was not shocked when you said you fell up the stairs like ‘oh okay. the weathers nice today’

lmao what

and youre also the type to not even know you got hurt like youd just be scratching your arm and youd find a bruise 

‘how did that get there?’

so it was common to find you with band-aids on you and bruises all over

like you entered the gym for practice and you were just doing your normal manager tingz when our meme bois saw you and zoomed towards you

‘y/n-chan!!! we missed you!!!!

makki screeched which scared you so you dropped the crate of bottles onto your feet

‘owie’

you mumbled, the pain settling in at an overwhelmingly quick pace so there were tiny tears in your eyes

the duo gasped and quickly kicked the crate to the side like they were angry at it for hurting you

uwu omg thats so cute

or the one time you were wiping the sweat from kyo’s forehead

he had a small soft smile that could only be seen by you as you got rid of the sweat 

but that smile turned into a frown when he got a glimpse at the discoloration on certain parts of your arms

‘y/n’

he whispered

you blinked up and he gently grabbed your arm, fingertips ghosting over the bruises

‘how could you do this to your beautiful skin’

he mumbles and you shrugged

‘hmm,,, i didnt even know they were there’

kyo shook his head with an amused chuckle and iwa, who was drinking water at the side, noticed you two

then he noticed more at your other arm and baby boi hurriedly ran over to you

next thing you know, you got best bois fussing over you always hurting yourself and kyo gently headbutts you to tell you off while iwa flicks your nose

‘honestly, we cant trust you by yourself’

you just giggled at them which caused them to stumble and fluster

THESE BOYS ARE SO SOFT LIKE PLEASE

its quite normal for you to look like you just fell down the stairs and be so surprised whenever the boys point it out

like youd have this confused pout  and tilt your head ‘hm? hello. how did you get here’

its kinda cute

and ofc you would naturally have your ointments for bruises or a first aid kit at all times bc you never really know when it happens and you need to treat it quickly

the boys always count on you for medical tape when their fingers bleed or whenever watari gets bruises all over his legs bc of too many flying dives

the bench was a common place for you to treat the others and our libero babie was sitting there at one practice

you were kneeled on the floor and gently applying ointment on the growing colors on his skin 

‘hmm,,, wata-san, be careful next time, okay? your skin is really soft and pretty. its a shame to ruin it’

he wanted to scoff at the irony and the hypocritical comment but your worried and concerned eyes made him softly smile and nod

‘mhm. i will’

even though it was uneeded on reddened places, you would dig in your bag and fish out a gudetama bandaid on it

it was like a doctor’s signature for you and it makes the boys ltr fall in love with you all over again

ororororor that one time where kindaichi accidentally got a papercut during your study sessions and he was tearing up slightly at the pain

LMAO YALL REALLY OUT HERE TOUGHING OUT PAPERCUTS LIKE ITS NOTHING BUT I ACT LIKE I GOT STABBED 10 TIMES 

you grinned at him to show that it was going to be okay and he let you sit on his lap so you could treat it

he still had a pout and you were giving him forehead kisses to calm him down

‘see? its going to be okay. nurse y/n-chan is the best out there and she’ll take care of you!’

he laughed slightly and you victoriously smiled

once it was all wrapped up, you placed a kiss on it

‘ya gotta kiss it to make it better’

not saying im doing a kindaichi route or anything but he may or may not tackled you with kisses with that comment

but sometimes, they would have to be the one to put that bandaid on you

like one day, you were walking down the stairs to go to the changing rooms for practice and humming softly when you caught sight of the tall volleyball player mattsun at the bottom of the stairs

he was just passing by and you noticed him, waving your hand and shouting his name

‘mattsun-san!’

you greeted and he turned and he smiled brightly at you

you excitedly increased your pace going down the stairs, not noticing that you stepped on the edge of the step and caused your foot to slip

unfortunately, mattsun was too far away for him to catch you so you tripped and scraped your knee

he flashnyoomed over to you and kneeled in front of you to examine it

ofc it hurt like hell but you put up a brave front

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

his adorable eyebrows scrunched in concern and he quickly shook his head and gently picked you up to sit 2 steps up

you watched silently as he grabbed ahold of the familiar blue first aid kit from your bag and he opened it to take out alcohol and other treatment things

his fingers worked to open the bottle and pour a little bit of alcohol before he gently reached out to grab your leg

but before that, our babie mattsun is a gentleman and looked up for a permission to help you

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

you giggled and you booped his nose

he was slowly cleaning the wound and you could still tell he was worried with how his brows were still furrowed

‘mattsun-san’

you called out and he looked up

you smiled cutely and looked down, flustered, then met his eyes again

‘i fell for you’

mattsun.exe stopped working

like deadass he blanked for a second then his brain processed what you said and when he did, he dropped the cotton ball and his face blew up red

this babie grimaced, eyes shutting tightly and head leaning on your thigh

you giggled at him and ran your hands through his hair

‘i swear, y/n, i swear’

he kept mumbling and his heartbeat quickened to the point he felt faint and he felt light-headed

you were just too cute

too damn cute for his heart

too damn cute for this world

just too cute

and thats not good

mattsun quickly regained his senses and hurriedly placed the ointment and the bandaid on to finish the job

you reached out with your hands for a hug and mattsun gladly leaned in and you clung to him like a koala which made him hold you tightly against his chest

‘hmm~~~~ thank you, mattsun-san’

you appreciated and gave him a kiss on his cheek in gratitude which made him hide his face in your neck

‘im going to get a heart attack, y/n. take responsibility’

he mumbled, nipping your neck 

you chuckled and played with the hair on his neck

‘hm~ okay~ i take responsibility~’

I SWEAR MY MATTSUN SIMP IS NOW PEAKING THROUGH

that was only one of the accidents the seijoh boys went through with you and i swear those boys have superior intelligence in medical care just because you get hurt so much

until that one faithful day

you werent there

you werent at school or at practice

ofc you texted the coaches and the team that you werent going to be at school for a while and they spammed you asking what happened or if you were okay

but you didnt want to worry them so you just said that you were okay and it was just something that happened

ONG OIKAWA ACTUALLY CAME TO YOUR HOUSE BUT YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS AND NATSU TO TELL HIM TO GO AWAY BC IF HE FINDS OUT WHAT HAPPENED, THE CHILE WILL STORM INTO YOUR ROOM AND LECTURE YOU 

HE ONLY WENT AWAY WHEN YOUR DAD CAME OUT WITH A BROOM AND THREATENED TO HIT HIM IF HE CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU

UKAI VIBES HONESTLY

IS UKAI YOUR FATHER?

CONSPIRACY THEORY?

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED COME SOLVE THIS

then you finally appeared

dear god 

kunimi saw you enter the classroom and he almost shot up to saturn when he saw your cast

‘y/n!’

he shouted and kindaichi heard it from his classroom beside yours and he also usain bolted towards your classroom to your desk

the boi texted the team you were here and they all raced to your classroom 

EVERYONE WAS HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THE APPEARANCE OF THE BEAUTIFUL VOLLEYBALL TEAM LIKE THE BOYS + YOU?! GODSEND

oikawa screeched at the sight of your arm and everyone was firing questions at you but you couldnt focus on one so you just sat there sheepishly smiling

‘Y/N! WHAT DID-’

‘I SWEAR ITS LIKE WE HAVE TO-’

‘MY HEART ALMOST DIED!! I THOUGHT YOU DIED-’

thank god your professor entered the shooed them out with a large textbook but your teacher smiled at you

‘l/n, good to have you back’

at lunch, dear god there was a riot

kunimi strong man kunimi hoisted you in his arms and walked over to the hidden team stairwell where everyone was waiting

they all had narrowed eyes and crossed arms, with iwakyo tapping their foot

you did the 🥺👉👈 and their eyes softened at that sight alone

‘you see,,,, i had a,,, concert,,, in the shower,,, and slipped’

they blinked, confusion swirling over everyone’s head

‘excuse me? you said you slipped in the bath?’

‘for a concert?’

‘you sing?’

the team facepalmed at the reason you came in with a broken arm and you pouted at them

‘sorry, captain, everyone. i didnt mean to’

you mumbled but the others couldnt blame you so they pulled you to a group hug

‘i swear, y/n-chan, you will get yourself killed one day’

‘sorry’

you apologized again but oikawa flicked your nose

‘no dont apologize. we’ll just have to be there for you constantly to look out for you’

and he stuck to that word

like oikawa came over to your house early in the morning to pick you up from school and your dad thought it was just him bothering again

so he sighed, placed his newspaper down, took a sip of tea, then stood up to go to the closet for his broom

this mans took a deep breath before opening his door and shouting and waving his broom around maniacally

‘SHUT UP!!! YOURE DISTURBING THE NEIGHBORS!! I WILL BEAT YOUR LOUD CRUSTY DUSTY-’

that woke up everyone in the house and you bolted down the stairs, terrified yet chuckling at the sight

then something happened for everyone in the neighborhood-or Japan- to wake up

yanno the drill ladies and gents

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry i disappeared for a HOT SEC but im back!! and we finally going back to the groove!!! and uwu thanks for sticking by and waiting for another update and the next one might be my first not-seijoh work in a LONG WHILE so look forward to that!!! 

[arhvste]

can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?

love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈

-

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED

-

KUROO

kuroo is a perspective little shit 

he analysis’ anything and everything 

he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing 

so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them

he’ll ask you first

and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself

he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries

but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out

so one day you’re waiting for him after practice

and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together

however

this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you

“look its stupid little y/n!”

“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”

“i don’t know how he puts up with you”

“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”

they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far 

kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused 

you’re never ever late 

so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone 

now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid

he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately

he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom

he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them

but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them

so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them

“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”

“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”

“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”

“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”

there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had

the kids surrounding you are dead silent

“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”

kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours 

he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest

“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”

lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽‍♀️

kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh 

but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that

he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as

and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be 

“why didn’t you tell me angel?”

“i didn’t want to have to bother you”

“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”

kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore

the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs

all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you

and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable 

-

TSUKISHIMA

lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck

because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o

you’re done for 

this boy has no mercy

he doesn't even need to physically fight

his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it 

so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more

he grows sus

he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them

tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch 

he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you 

however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time 

just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics 

so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class

“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”

“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”

“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”

so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them 

but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class

right now you’re an easy target though

nobody to protect you

well that’s what you thought anyway

you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground 

the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair 

that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground

“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”

tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face

“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”

“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”

the other students don't even know what to say

they can't exactly say anything

tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults 

“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”

the bullies look at each other nervously

he couldn’t be serious right

“im waiting”

these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended

“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”

they be sprinting out the hallways 

“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”

“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”

tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things

“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”

and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone

OIKAWA

fangirls 

the absolute bane of his existence 

oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes 

especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan

in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive 

“you and y/n look so good together”

“i hope you’re treating them well”

“oikawa is is lucky”

but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you 

you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point 

you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no

you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls

classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class

he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend 

iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes 

you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand 

despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse

“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”

yes

“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”

“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”

the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect

you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on

“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”

at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you

“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”

you’d lie and give him a small fake smile 

but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one

like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon

it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now

he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour 

iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far

“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”

“my fangirls?”

“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”

now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around

you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter

you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around

oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention

he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you 

so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends

“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”

“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one

he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start

“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”

“oh y/n is here... that's cute”

oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone

they even had the nerve to say your name?

“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”

the fangirls are look between each other innocently

“what do you mean oikawa-san?”

“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”

the girls are silent now

oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed 

nobody sees him worked up outside the court

“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”

oikawa did not stutter 😌

king

the girls leave immediately 

“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”

“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”

“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”

“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”

“promise.”

after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you

yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser

but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.

-

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[bellamygateoldblog]

My opinion is that a good amount of the fandom doesn’t see El as her own person and only sees her as an extension of Mike even when they try to deny it, and that not being together romantically would be a lot healthier for both of their character growth.

oh this. ive found in my short bursts of exploring the stranger things fandom that far too many el stans for my liking erase or twist everything that makes her HER, or seem to get defensive over characteristics that el DOES have and things that el DOES do. not everyone loves characters the same way, sorry that you can't appreciate el's hot-headedness, intellectual struggles and probable post-institutional syndrome, and tendancy to mimic other people around her as she learns the world, but that's a you problem shawty <3

i think a lot of people just don't care to engage with her character on any deeper level other than thinking she's a cute badass who kicks monster ass, and that's okay. i do get the impression with how they talk about el and mileven, and the type of content they make, that a group of fans simply use el as a self-insert because they find finn cute. i tend to think el does have her own distinct personality, but for those who don't necessarily engage with her character, i can see how she'd come across to them as a semi-clean slate they can project onto.

and actually ive decided to go on a tangent because this just reminded me of something lol and im using this anon as an excuse to try to collect and organise my thoughts. in the conflict scene between mike, max and nancy regarding mike's concerns of treating el like a weapon, nancy was literally projecting in that scene...she's personally dealing with sexism in her own plot and thus applies her own feelings about her own situation to el's, growing defensive over mike's genuine worry, batting it away with 'el knows her own limits. el is her own person' and she's misguided because even though el does know a great deal more about her power than anyone else, she's been shown to be extremely brave, protective and sacrificial (which mike helplessly WATCHED the first time) for the people she cares about and would absolutely exhaust herself and push herself past her own capabilities if it meant saving them for a little bit longer. that's ALSO who el is at her core. a girl who loves deeply.

to me it's not that mileven is 'unhealthy' like they're kids tbh, tho mike has been paralleled to hopper in s3 numerous times with his possessiveness, talk of others "corrupting" her, and typical 80s teenage boy behaviour, for me it's that i don't really like where that dynamic puts mike's character and by extention how other characters have to kind of...revolve around mileven when it's romantically A Thing, as they literally did in season 3. mike is a group leader but in season 3 he really wasn't, mike loves his friends so much but in season 3 he was really slacking on the whole 'i would literally DIE for my friend' thing and was so obsessively preoccupied with girlfriends (while the girls, on the other hand, were living their best single lives) that he shoved aside 2 out of 3 friends etc.

el on the other hand isn't that much affected as a character by having a boyfriend/love interest as far as we can tell, which I really love, however I find it...odd...that she's this really traumatised child with actual powers, she's WEIRD she's not normal, she's no particularly well-adjusted, she's still learning language, context and behaviours and such, she doesn't know who she is or what she likes, she's barely seen the world, but right away she's just acting like a normal teenage girl with unconventional speech patterns trying on clothes, eating ice cream, skipping through the mall, oogling boys and dealing with angsty teen drama, which isn't bad, I'm just wondering where the rest went and why they can't co-exist. a quick shot of el feeling watched and uneasy while she's in the mall surrounded by all those people. something. that's not really a gripe i have with mileven, but just how it's been fitted in with the other elements of the show and how it was so in our faces all season 3. with that being said im in agreement with the metas discussing how season 3 is supposed to be superficial and goofy and emphasises how mileven doesn't really work and has been moving quickly, i think we were supposed to be uncomfortable with that makeout scene watching through the crack in the door where hopper is, being told the kissing is constant, having joyce ask hopper to clarify it's ONLY kissing these 14 year olds doing, that awkward one-sided kiss with mike's eyes wide open, everyone teasing them or expressing frustration towards them, etc. i have no hard feelings for mileven, i don't actually mind it (or i didn't until all that i just mentioned in s3 plus some), i think it's very sweet in s1 and s2. really i don't take major issue with the relationship itself when you remove it from everything else and look at it, i simply just prefer byler. LOL.

[izukubuns]

hi!! is it alright if i can req for a scenario where shouto slowly realizes he has feelings for his childhood friend?? everyone would know that the two are pining for each other but shouto is just a lil oblivious to his feelings and his friends ;v; i hope this was specific enough!! sorry if its a bit vague;;

.:it was always you:.

warnings: shouto being oblivious, light angst

word count: 2.8k

a/n: LMAO IM SOOOOOOO SORRY THIS SPIRALED. no but truly i got emotional, so sorry if it isn’t what you wanted. im definitely willing to write another, fluffier version of this prompt in the future, though. thank you for requesting <3

“kou?”

“s-shou..”

“huh? i can’t hear you.”

your tiny hands rested on your hips as you tilted your head in confusion. you were at the grocery store, your mother was talking to a friend. this friend of hers had a child as well, and your mother had insisted that you make a friend. fine, no problem. little ol you loved making friends. todoroki, however-

“shouto!” he yelled. you were currently in todoroki’s face, your nose just a couple inches from his. he wasn’t sure why you were so close, your eyes locked on his. you blinked, then finally smiled. “oh, well why didn’t you say it before! i’m (y/n)!” you were missing a front tooth. todoroki couldn’t help but notice, and it made him laugh a little.

“ma says you’re the same age as me. that means we should be friends, right?” you said, looking at your mother, then back at the boy in front of you. “i wanna play with you, shou!”

playdates became frequent. whenever the two women would meet, they’d bring you and todoroki along with them. more often than not, your playdates were at the park. you were more rowdy than your candy cane haired friend, almost always scraping your knees for the sake of “adventure”. you had even fallen out of a tree once, resulting in plenty of scrapes and bruises.

“(y/n)! are you okay?! m-mom!” todoroki would panic, calling out for help. you’d just smile at him, always getting up and brushing it off like it was nothing. “it’s okay, shou! i’m strong! it doesn’t hurt!” there were tiny tears in your eyes, but todoroki ignored them. if you said you were strong, then he believed you.

“we’re both gonna be awesome heroes, remember? that means you’re strong, too, shou.” you’d always call him strong, pick him back up when he needed it. when really, you had always been the stronger of the two. while all might was his idol, he swore to himself that he’d become as strong as you, too.

todoroki wanted to follow you everywhere.

until eventually, the todorokis stopped showing up.

you’d always ask, “ma, how come i don’t get to see shou anymore?” “is that auntie rei on the phone? can i talk to her and shou?”

“rei and shouto are busy with their family. we’ll get to see them soon,” your mom would say, smiling and holding your hand. her smile never reached her eyes. “i miss shouto, ma. isn’t auntie rei your friend? don’t you miss her too?”

she inhaled sharply, looking anywhere but at you. “of course, baby. i miss her so much. but we’ll get to see them. another time.”

however, your mother knew that there was a large possibility that you wouldn’t see rei or shouto for a long time.

*:..｡∞♡∞｡..:*

the next time you saw todoroki, he almost didn’t recognize you. if he was being honest, he barely remembered you. after all those years that his father had put him through, he’d blocked out many things from his past.

when he first saw you again, it was the first day of class. you were talking to some classmates, your back turned to him. unconsciously, he stared at your figure, trying to figure out why you seemed so familiar. he didn’t snap out of it until he saw mina pointing at him and smiling, drawing the attention of the others. it seemed like an eternity before you finally turned around. but when you did, oh when you did.

he felt like he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him. his memories came rushing back to him as if he was on the brink of death, watching his life flash before his eyes. you grew up... quite nicely. and you were powerful, he observed.

todoroki watched as your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth fell slightly open. you moved to come closer, but then aizawa entered, ordering everyone to sit down. you sat behind midoriya, so your seat wasn’t too far from his, which resulted in him staring at the back of your head. about a week into the new school year, you finally confronted him at lunch, confirming both his and your suspicions.

“todoroki, huh? never knew you were the son of such a big shot,” you said. todoroki’s usual blank expression twisted into a frown. “whatever. it’s not a big deal.”

you flinched at the harsh dismissal of your statement, but quickly gathered yourself. “it’s funny to see you after such a long time. you really disappeared on me. my mom missed you, too,” you admitted, hoping to shift the mood. however this only upset him further, much to your confusion. he snorted, keeping his head down towards his food.

as the days went on, you prodded, trying to get him to open up, only for him to reject, or simply ignore you. this wasn’t the shouto you knew all those years ago. shouto was never this abrasive. while you two acted as normal classmates, your attempts to get him to open up were futile. though a while later, you’d soon discover the reason for his actions.

he’d admitted his past to you after the sports festival. ever since his confrontation with midoriya, he felt bad for the way he treated you. none of this was your fault, he thought. you had made him happy at one point, so why was he trying to pretend like you were a nuisance? just looking at you had frustrated him.

though, looking at you didn’t actually make him mad, it made him sad. his father had taken him away from you so soon, too soon. he wasn’t allowed to see his first and only friend. he couldn’t help but let his negative emotions take over after seeing you all these years later.

after battling with his inner self, todoroki finally resolved to apologize to you.

“my past doesn’t matter. my actions… were uncalled for. you don’t have to forgive me. i was–“

“todoroki, it’s okay. thank you for telling me. i’m glad, actually. i was worried about you. though, i would like it if we could be friends again,” you smiled that ridiculously gentle smile, making his heartbeat speed up. why was he nervous? you didn’t make him nervous.

in fact, you had always made him feel strong. safe. he used to feel like he could do anything when you two were together.

not nervous.

the two of you started growing close again soon after. while you were good friends with midoriya, iida, and uraraka as well, they noticed that you and todoroki were different.

they noticed how he’d keep his eyes on you, no matter who was talking. todoroki didn’t stare longingly at them like that. whenever you needed something like a pencil or an eraser, todoroki had already slid one onto your desk before you could even turn around. todoroki didn’t care for them like that.

they noticed how frantic he was when he couldn’t find you during the training camp incident. how he only calmed when they found you, when you assured him that you would be alright.

but most importantly, todoroki smiled at you. he couldn’t help himself. he didn’t realized how much he missed your presence. now, you were even better than before. you weren’t just brave, you stayed true to your word and became strong. he learned this all too quickly when you promptly caught him off guard and kicked his ass during training. he wasnt just impressed, he was proud of you. not only that, but you were kind. you stayed as warm as you were back then, especially towards todoroki himself. not that he’d notice.

not when he was busy smiling like an idiot.

midoriya, ever observant, was positive that todoroki didn’t realize he was doing it. he’d stop smiling as soon as his attention was off of you. sure, he smiled every once in a blue moon, but never directly at someone. especially not like that.

ya know, the longing stare, the soft smile that was reserved for you and you only. yeah, his friends knew he was in deep. when they’d confronted him about it, he was just confused.

“i’m not sure i understand. i behave that way with the rest of you, don’t i?” he inquired. uraraka sighed. “no, todoroki, you don’t. you don’t get all goo goo eyed for the rest of us.”

“goo goo eyed? what does that even mean?”

“it’s when you get all ‘uwahh’ for someone when you see them! it’s like–“

“uraraka, let me try to explain!” midoriya interrupted, worried that she’d confused him even more. he sighed before he began. “todoroki, what do you think of (y/n)?” he said slowly.

“i think they’re nice. they’re skillful in battle, and their grades are good, as well. they’d make a great hero. they’re always thinking of others, and putting someone else first. though, i wish they’d take care of themselves as well. it’s easy to tell when they’re not feeling well, but they wont admit it. th–“

“okay, stop,” midoriya interrupted, unable to bear his friends lovesickness. “now what do you think of iida?” “iida’s a reliable comrade. you are as well.” the group waited for him to go on, but that was it. midoriya almost facepalmed while iida sighed. todoroki just outed himself and still didn’t realize?

he frowned at his friends’ reactions. “did i say something wrong?” todoroki asked. uraraka smiled at him. “no, you actually said everything right.” this only confused the boy further. iida cleared his throat, looking todoroki in the eye. “todoroki, you’ve known (y/n) for a long time, right?”

“you could say that, yes.” “have you ever thought about... kissing them?” todoroki literally choked on air. kissing? you? no, he hadn’t, not even when you were kids. just like now, you two were thinking about becoming heroes back then. now that you two were even closer to accomplishing your dreams, that was the furthest thing from his mind. well, until now.

“what about hugging them?” iida pressed further. now that he was being questioned directly, todoroki finally thought about it. thought about you smiling at him, wrapping your arms around him. he thought about your laughter being reserved for him only. he thought about how your hands would fit in his.

todoroki thought about everything.

he found himself smiling, cheeks hot. but... he wasn’t using his quirk? this was quite the odd feeling to him, but the warm thoughts of you weren’t unwelcome. he bit his lip to keep the smile from growing even wider.  “todoroki?” uraraka said, bringing his attention back to his friends. he cleared his throat and looked away, embarrassed. he felt… exposed. they were all smiling at him, like they knew something he didn’t. it was midoriya that spoke the words that todoroki was absolutely not ready to hear.

“todoroki, you like them. as more than a friend. and we think you should give it a shot when you’re ready.”

*:..｡∞♡∞｡..:*

he definitely wasn’t able to sleep that night. actually, for a few nights. at first it was due to his constant thoughts of you, but then his sleep schedule started to worsen because of school, stress, the usual. it was particularly bad one night, so he decided to wander in his room. later, todoroki found himself walking into the kitchen, only to find you.

of course it was you.

you didn’t notice him at first, with how quiet he was. you were still in your bed clothes, getting a glass of water. when you finished you finally turned to see him, eyes widening in surprise. “sho– todoroki?”

“oh… hello.”

“as quiet as ever, huh?” you leaned against the counter to sip your water. “couldn’t sleep?”

todoroki nodded wordlessly. moving to stand beside you, both of you staring ahead at nothing in particular. he was a bit uneasy after what his friends had made him realize. he’d thought of a million different scenarios since then. “you know, i’ve missed you,” you started. he jerked his head up to look at you, quicker than he’d intended.

you smiled, closing your eyes to think for a bit. “i was really sad for a long time when you and auntie rei stopped coming to see us. my mom and i, that is.” todoroki kept his eyes on you, taking in your profile as you spoke.

“i never forgot what we said, though. that we were gonna be strong and become heroes? i’m glad. i never would’ve seen you again if i had given up,” you said with a smile.

“i know we’re gonna be busy and everything as pro heroes. helping people, ya know? of course you do. i just… don’t want you to disappear again. i really wish i could’ve been there with you. i hate the thought of you suffering alone. being alone. at least, when we’re older, call every now and then, okay?”

todorokis chest started to ache. you’d told him that you were glad to see him again before. but saying you missed him? did you have any idea how much weight that held over his heart?

“i know we were just kids, but you were always important to me. i...” you trailed off. finally, you looked up at him with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i kinda had a crush on you back then. funny, right?”

no. not funny. not at all. “i thought that maybe we could get married and be a perfect duo. both of us the number one heroes,” you said with a laugh, putting your cup down. todoroki still had his eyes on you, not believing his ears. his face was growing hotter. and hotter.

“i was even going to propose–“

his left side burst into flames.

you jumped backed, arms held in front of you, “todoroki?!” was he upset by what you said? did you set him off by talking about his childhood again?

once he realized what was happening the flames were immediately gone. todoroki looked at your protective stance, guilt punching him in the stomach. now, of all times? he could have hurt you. he never would’ve forgiven himself.

“(y/n), i’m so sorry, i do–“ he was breathing fast, too fast. “todoroki, slow down. dont apologize. im the one who should be apologizing. it was something i said, right?” you asked, cautiously coming closer. todoroki looked into your eyes. he searched for any sign of fear, disgust, but god damn it, it wasn’t there. only genuine concern they were still the kind eyes you always had. why, why were you so damn nice?

“it is what you said. what if…” his mouth was moving faster than his mind.

“you had a crush on me back then, but… what…” he looked at his feet, searching for the words, before looking back at you. you came even closer, looking at him. you silently asked him to continue. “what if i... have a crush on you now?”

your eyes grew wide, but you stayed silent. todoroki didn’t know what to do but spew more of his jumbled thoughts.

“hugging you... k-kissing you?” he hated how weak he sounded, repeating his friend’s words from before. “i want to. i want to do it, but...” slowly you reached up to stroke his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. you remembered how he liked the touch. you waited for him to tell you to stop or flinch away, but all he did was grab your arms and hold them gently. he brought them down, still holding them, as if you’d disappear if he let go. his grip shifted to your hands, as did his gaze.

“im so... damaged. i dont wanna force you to deal with me. the way i am... i don’t think i’m good enough for you. you’ve always been amazing. you’re so perfect. but i want to do these things with you. i want to be as close to you as possible, i just don’t know how, i–”

“hey, shou.”

he paused. shou. that’s right, you hadn’t called him that in years. yet, he felt his body relax and his nerves dissipate. “it’s okay. you were hurt. you’re still hurting. if i didn’t want anything to do with you, i wouldn’t be here, now would i?” you said quietly, trying your best to calm him. he shut his eyes, relaxing into your touch. his shaky breathing slowed.

“im far from perfect, ya know. i’m the one not sure if i’ll be good enough for you. but if you’ll have me, i’d be glad.”

you? not good enough for him? never. never in a million years. he couldn’t believe it took him so long to realize that he’d been craving you. he’d tried so hard to be content by himself. then, midoriya came along with the rest of his friends, picking him up bit by bit. yet, he was still missing something. you, you were his final piece.

yeah.

it was always you.

[herrashmoo]

secondly, im not a tumblr teen. ive been on this website for god knows how long and ive been well versed in queer history. me calling them a pedophile, after a conversation with them resulted in them refusing to admit sexual imagery is not for children, them calling me a bootlicker and several other names, before getting wildly upset and blocking me, had nothing to do with their sexuality and everything to do with the fact that they couldnt tell me sexual imagery is not a thing for minors to consume period end of story. this is AFTER the fact i had been a bit more educated about pride and had ALREADY agreed where i went wrong. now about the sanitization of pride- thats wrong as well. dont get me wrong. but you cant seriously look me in the face and tell me that sexual imagery is not for minors. like- just that statement alone, right? so how is this such a controversy?

ugh okay I guess I’m gonna write A Thing. I’ll get into a proper response to your final questions but first, let’s do some context work.

first thing to make clear is that I know Jux irl, and I also want to make it pretty clear that they and I have pretty similar opinions here, I’m just slightly more likely to put my anger aside to reply to stuff. Do not get it twisted, rhetoric like the kind you were/are using is like, a big red flag for me, it’s the kind of shit reactionaries have been using for eons and like, were I in a less chill mood, I would’ve also likely written you off as a bootlicker troll. Their response was pretty aggressive but not completely misplaced, so I just want to make it clear that like, as another queer dude who is tired of seeing this shit every fucking May for the better part of a decade, I’m also exhausted and pissed off.

As for my claim of teenagerdom, I apologize if that offended, but you have to understand that, generally speaking, the loudest groups having this conversation on the regular are (1) right-wing reactionaries, TERFs, and their ilk trying to stir shit up (see: Operation Pridefall) and (2) young people who don’t have any context for Pride, often haven’t been, and only really have queer politic and history from tumblr and twitter threads featuring reactionary revisionism from the first group. When I see people engage in this conversation, I generally assume they’re in the latter group, as it helps me try to frame my responses in the best faith I can given how tired I am of this shit.

But that aside, sure. Kink isn’t for children. But provided there’s a parent accompanying this hypothetical child at Pride, their job is to explain and provide context for the things they can, and give a solid “you’ll learn more when you’re older” for the things they can’t. The Village People are all each in different kink gear, and as a kid I was told “they like to dress up, and there’s some costumes specifically for adults,” and I was good. I saw bare titties at festivals, smelled weed at concerts, saw bulge at the beach — these are normal human things that happen in the world, and having a responsible adult nearby to explain or provide context for them made them non-issues for me. I don’t think a kid seeing a pup hood is thinking anything more than “oh cool, that dude is dressed up as a dog.” Kids understand fantasy and make-believe. And especially as they age into their teenage years, withholding or sheltering them from knowledge about sex and sexuality can do real damage — hell, we’ve been having that conversation for over a century at least.

(Spring’s Awakening was first published in 1891 and was deeply censored in productions for the better part of a century, due to the content of the work, which is about how sheltering young teens (both straight and queer) from sexual content (and also mental health resources) leads them to try to figure shit out on their own and make catastrophic decisions that they don’t understand the consequences of until it’s too late. Great play, pretty great musical adaptation, wild that we keep rehashing its points like clockwork over a century after publication.)

But I am also of the opinion that Pride isn’t for children, as, while two decades of assimilationist politic would desperately try to argue otherwise, I am queer because I am sexually attracted to, and have sex with, other men. Pride is a response to the criminalization of queer sex acts, and so it is, in turn, a celebration of queer sex acts. So if someone wants to walk around in chaps and a jock, great! If someone wants to wear their pup gear or a harness or a rope tie or a vest, fuck yeah! It’s a space specially carved out for celebrating the queer experience — the original Pride flag (before it was simplified to make it easier to mass produce for profit, which, again, love seeing our culture made into product) had a pink stripe at the very top, specifically representing sexuality. It is, ostensibly, the thing that defines our community (at least the L G and B parts of it) as an outgroup against the mainstream society.

I think that, if you are uncomfortable with kink displays, or you’re uncomfortable with children seeing kink displays, then Pride is not for you or your children! Don’t go! There’s kid-friendly and sanitized versions of Pride in most major cities, do some research into your local/state Stonewall organizations and you can find more about them. But I’m already sick of having actual cops at Pride, I don’t need people who are uncomfortable with displays of sexuality also policing myself or any other queer person in a space they have spent decades carving out for themselves.

A final note — if you don’t understand why a queer person would blow up and completely write off your bullshit after calling them a pedophile, I urge you to do more reading, more listening. I know that in this brave new world of same-sex marriage equality and PrEP access that it’s hard to remember the collective trauma that the community has experienced, but this shit is inflammatory, you’re straight up spewing fightin’ words. The dude wearing a leather harness at Pride isn’t trying to corrupt any youth or fuck any kids, they’re just trying to live their shit, and I’m sorry that you and so many others have somehow decided that that’s an attack on a demographic of people who aren’t the audience for a celebration of sexuality. We’re not fucking pedophiles, and this “think about the kids” nonsense is some Reagan-era bullshit.

[marmalade-draws]

regarding fma, what are your headcanons for some of the characters your art didn't feature a ton? ling, for example--does his appetite start catching up with him? or greed, it's in the name...ooh, or when the two fuse in mangahood? love your art btw!

okay it’s like 1am and i’m up with a stomachache so im sorry if this isn’t coherent

this might be a boring/disappointing answer but i’ve actually never had many thoughts about ling in a kink context. mostly because i focus on post brotherhood timeline and we only see photos of him in that time. putting story timeline ling in kink settings is uncomfy for me because he’s like 15-17 throughout the main story. i’m as much a sucker for fat royalty as the next guy but i don’t really have any ling-specific thoughts for after he becomes emperor

og greed i see as more of a bloater/inflator instead of a stuffer/gainer. i can easily see him drinking way too much alcohol at the devil’s nest and busting his pants open because of it. i like to imagine that because he’s a homunculus, it takes way more booze than average for him to start feeling the effects so he’s gotta drink an insane amount before he even gets a buzz. by the time he actually gets shit-face drunk, his employees need to cart him to the back in a wheelbarrow because he’s so heavy and sloshy with liquid. (but as i write this im thinking of fat muscle-bear greed with his full body shield and i am feeling some things lmao)

for the non-kink stuff, i adore the xing characters! when they need to they absolutely nail the comedic relief, but they’re also such mf-ing badasses too! ling is so dedicated to helping his family and people it’s almost a character flaw that nearly gets him killed, lan fan is so resourceful and adaptable and so incredibly smart. old man fu’s death still gets me so unbelievably choked up it’s insane he cares so much for his granddaughter and the young prince 😭 mei i feel is overlooked a lot for how young and innocent/airheaded she acts but she’s wicked intelligent and brave. she helped the plan to capture envy in the snow, she showed down with father even after being (rightfully) afraid of how much power he held, she’s one of the biggest reasons the group even figured out the country-wide transmutation circle plan, and she gave up the only thing that would save her clan to heal a complete stranger

and i think also a lot of people forget that all the xing characters (aside from old man fu) are literally kids. they traversed the scorching desert alone with no guarantee they’d reach their destination or find what they were looking for if they did. they aren’t even sixteen yet and they’ve got the entire weight of their clans on their shoulders and it’s gotta put such a strain on them

brotherhood scar was right and did nothing wrong (okay he did a few things wrong but my man said acab and we support that)

also the 2003 animators really looked at scar and said “i’m turning this man into a twink”

okay so before i figured out i was a trans man i wanted to change my name to olivier no joke. as soon as i saw her she was one of my absolute favorites she’s such a badass lesbian with a sword the most iconic scene is when she rolls out of the elevator in a motherfucking tank. her subordinates are loyal and dedicated because she earned their trust. it’s the kind of bond and commitment nothing could tear apart, the briggs crew is absolutely amazing.

y’all if you haven’t watched the OVA that covers izumi’s training in the mountains and how she met sig i highly recommend it it’s so so so good. their relationship is so good and pure they would 100% die and kill for each other. my favorite scene with sig is the flashback to the failed transmutation where he’s there with izumi and has to hold her back and comfort her. he’s just a normal dude, he’s got no knowledge at all about this alchemy stuff. he could have let izumi do this by herself, but he stuck with her the whole time and made sure she knew he was there for her. it’s missing in brotherhood i think but the scene in 03 and the manga where izumi explains to a neighborhood child why she can’t bring her cat back to life is such a good character moment. she’s strong and kind and stubborn and the love she has for the elrics is immeasurable. (and they only interacted for a little bit but izumi and olivier would absolutely be best friends).

[violetnotez]

HC: BNHA Boys x Reader who is Going Through a Break Up

@Dekulover555: Hey can I get a request so my boyfriend has just broken up with me randomly could you do head cons or a story of the bhna boys as the best freind who was there when he broke up with her and the best freind ends up kissing them and the boys have had a crush on this girl for a long time?

Omg babes Im sorry you had to deal with that, that just sucks I’m so so sorry! I hope these make you feel better in some way- I wrote these as HC and 4 of the BNHA boys for ya! And um kinda forgot to put the kissing part in- but i hope you like these regardless!

 Also- that is literally such a crappy thing to do… me and Bakugo gonna beat him up for ya dont you worry! >:(

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

-----------------------------

IZUKU

You and Deku were having a quick study session in his room, him quizzing you on hero terms as you racked your brain to remember the definitions

Your phone suddenly buzzed- making him jump: he was so focused on just you, and how adorable you looked when you were concentrating hard, and the fact he had a girl in his room-kinda startled him out of his over reactive thoughts

You gave him a swift sorry, laughing softly because it was literally written on his face that he was freaked out by the sound, making him blush- he loved your laugh so much

The instant you read the message on your phone, your face just dropped in horror

“Hey I know this is a shitty thing to do but I think we need to break up”

You kept staring at the screen, feeling the world around you crumple- what did you even do? Why was he breaking up with you so suddenly?

Your hand was covered around your mouth, trying to choke back the tears

“Y/n…..y/n!” Izuku asked in a panic, freaking out inside- what happened to you to change your demeanor that fast

 “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Please talk to me!”

“He...he...he broke up with me, Izuku,” you sniffled, the tears flowing down your cheeks 

Izuku stared at you, completely stunned and full of anger. He was just disgusted he wouldn’t even give you the decency to do it in person, let alone just leave you confused on why.

 how could your boyfriend do that to you! You were so kind, and sweet, and so lovable....in his eyes, you were the most perfectly imperfect person and he had fallen for you hard.

 “I dont even know what I did-” you cried in confusion, “Did I do something wrong? I-”

He immediately wrapped you in a hug, his warm embrace making you feel more vulnerable (which is good- feelings are valid and Broccoli Boi will take care of u!)

“This isn’t your fault y/n-none of this is. You’re amazing just as you are-he just cant seem to see that.”

-----------------------------

BAKUGO

OH HELL NO BAKUGO GONNA KILL SOMEONE

You and Bakugo were having a sparring session when your phone went off

“You cant turn that damn thing off?” Bakugo grunted out, hating that your attention was being taken away from him

“Sorry Katsu, gotta answer- its my boyfriend,” you smiled, downing a gulpful of water before your answered the phone

All Bakugo did was grunt in distaste- he hated your boyfriend! He found him so annoying

all he ever did was take up his time with you-it seemed like whenever Bakugo wanted to hang out, he was there, ruining the moment

or even worse- you would go out and hang out with your dumb boyfriend instead of him

He always denied having any feelings for you, but he noticed now he couldnt seem to help it- he found you attractive, physically and personalty wise, but also- you dealt with his crap. He knew he was a hand full, but you still kept him in check and were even brave enough to mess around with him, even if he did yell at you.

 He just didnt like how much control you had over him, making him flustered and blushing like a damn school girl- and the fact that you didnt even know you had this secret power drove him crazy

“Wait-youre breaking up with me?” you asked in disbelief, your eyes prickling with tears

Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Bakugo picked up his head so quick hearing your voice break, as if your whole body was just crumpling. He had to admit, he was kinda happy to hear it- now he’d finally have his chance to ask you out! But hearing you sound so defeated made his heart race faster and the anger erupt in his chest. How dare he make you feel that way!

Bakugo stomped towards you, snatching your phone out of your hands

“I dont know what your deal is, you asshole, but y/n is one of the most amazing people I know, so dont you ever call her number again unless you want your ass blown out of the damn country!”

-----------------------------

TODOROKI

Todoroki was sitting on the couch,drinking tea and reading a book

He had found one of your notebooks left on the floor, and he of course, instantly wanted to give it back to you

Unknowing to him, you were currently up in your room, Facetiming your boyfriend

Shouto didnt really care for your boyfriend- and for the longest time he couldnt understand why he didnt like him

but then he realized some things- whenever he was around you, he would get blushy and extremely quiet and just seemed incapable of acting normal. He found you attractive and exceptionally kind, catching himself staring at you whenever he could and feeling strange about it, causing a soft blush to form on his pale skin

 Thats when he realized he didnt like your boyfriend because he liked you, and he despised the fact that someone had already taken your heart

He knocked on your door, hearing the voices on the other side get more and more frustrated

He heard a slight sob come out of your mouth, and he instantly got panicked

What was wrong?

He knocked on the door again, unsure of what to do- does he barge in there? Does he leave you alone? Does he wait?

In mid knock, you opened the door, your eyes puffy and red

“Y/n-are you alright?” he asked, his face in complete shock and confusion

You shook your head, unable to talk due to the heavy sometimes growing inside you

“Its okay, Shouto,” you practically whispered, “just this isnt the best time-”

He placed a hand on your shoulder, looking at you with those deep, mismatched eyes that made you shiver- they were so easy to get lost in

“Please, y/n, tell me whats wrong.”

He hated seeing you upset- it made him upset, and he wanted to know who did this to you. He wasn't one to act out irrationally, but when it came to you, he would do anything to protect you.

“Its- its my boyfriend. He’s breaking up with me-”

“Hey y/n, where you at?” he heard from the phone, registering the voice as your boyfriend. Immediately, fury formed in his stomach-if he could see him right now- he would have to do everything in his power to hold his powers back from obliterating your boyfriend-

 he strided over, picking up the phone, meeting the shocked eyes of your boyfriend, expecting you to come on the screen

“Please refrain from ever calling y/n again- you make her upset and you clearly cannot understand how much of a wonderful person she truly is. If you ever come to try and hurt her again, I wont hesitate to make sure you dont ever do this to her again.”

-----------------------------

KIRISHIMA

Kirishima was walking out of his room, the rest of the class outside as he was the last one to change out of his PE uniform and into his lounge clothes

“Kirishima!”

He turned around, hearing your cry

Confusion was written on his face- you were running up to him, desperate to reach him

Your face was strewn with tears, sobs crying out of your mouth as you called out his name again

“Kirishima!”

Those sobs were destroying him- what was wrong? Who hurt you? Why were you so upset- he had never seen you like this! 

He had had the biggest crush on you for the longest time, and seeing you sad made him just wanted to fix everything and make you feel better, because when you were upset, he couldnt help but feel upset too!

You wrapped your arms around him, your chest colliding with his as you sobbed onto your best friend

He instantly shielded you in a warm hug, combing your hair with his palm, letting you get all your emotions out

“Hey-” he asked softly, gently raising you chin with the tips of your fingers, “what’s the matter?”

You sniffled, your face splotchy and pink, “My boyfriend-he-he-broke up with me.”

Kirishima clenched his jaw, feeling anger bubble in his stomach. So that’s the reason your so heartbroken, over that idiot? He was completely dumbfounded on why he would ever break up with you- how could someone ever just reject his amazing y/n?

He wrapped you in a hug again, placing a firm kiss on top your head

“Your okay y/n, dont worry about him. Your an amazing person and he just cant seem to see that. I got you, I promise.”

-----------------------------

Requests open!

[brushes-of-sage]

Alchemy. It was the only thing that was uniting the princes of Arendelle. While a door had separated the two brothers for the past five years, Hugo found a way to still stay connected to his brother. It all started three years ago, when Hugo realized he was running out of things to do. Oh sure, there were plenty of things in the castle, but that number reduces *significantly* when you realize there’s no one to do these things with you. So, Hugo decided to take up alchemy again. (1/?)

Alright lemme try to see if the keep reading works:

He had stopped working with alchemy when Varian had disappeared behind that cursed door, since alchemy was just another painful reminder of the brother he felt he lost. It was one of the brothers' favorite things to do, along with… along with... well, Hugo couldn’t really remember. The more he tried thinking about things he did with his brother that wasn’t alchemy, he got nothing, just laughter and a small headache. But, the number of things to occupy his time were getting thin.

So, he decided to give alchemy a try. This turned out to be a great decision. Not only did it serve as a distraction, but it served as something to keep his mind going. This distraction worked well for a few weeks until he hit a roadblock. He was trying to perfect an alchemical ice bomb that he had started when he was younger, but could never finish. But nothing seemed to be working. After staring at his disaster of a note pile for the better part of an hour, a little voice in his head said,

“You could go to Varian for help”

“No,” he snapped back, “If Varian wanted to help me or be there for me, he would leave his room. Clearly he doesn’t want to talk to me, or anyone for that matter.” Hugo didn’t want to admit it, but he was starting to get a bit mad at Varian. They were the best of brothers for years, and then just one day, Varian just shuts himself in his room, without a single word as to why. He laid his head on his desk and sighed. “Ah, who am I kidding? I’m going crazy just sitting here, I need to talk to someone, even if its nothing more than alchemy notes.”He gets up, grabs his notes, and starts to make his way to a door he passed by and stared at a million times before. On the way though, his mind is going through a back and forth battle: He wont wanna talk to you! Yes, he does, we havent spoken in forever! I wonder why? Besides its just some alchemy help, I’m not asking anything too extreme! All he has to do is fix a couple equations! What if he tears it up and ignores it, just like he has you these past few years? After this comment, Hugo ended up backtracking back to his room. He’d go tomorrow. Right?

Wrong. It took him three weeks before he found himself staring at the door that plagued his existence for two years now. He raised his hand to knock, and before he could back out, knocked twice and slid the notes through the crack under the door. He started anxiously pacing, his mind going back to the constant battle in his mind that had been raging for the past 3 weeks. After a couple minutes of pacing, Hugo was just about to leave when he heard 2 knocks, and paper slide back under the crack. Instantly, the flurry of anxious thoughts started up again, worrying it would come back blank or with a note saying Varian wouldn't help him. His hands shook as he opened the notes to reveal.. the completed solution. He read the solution 2 3 4 times before a huge smile spread across his face and he laughed a huge genuine laugh he hadn’t used in two years. These notes meant 2 big things: One, he finally had a solution to an alchemy problem he’d had since he was nine. And two, the more important one in Hugo’s opinion, is that his brother doesn’t hate him. That scary thought had crossed his mind multiple times and he had always quickly shot it down, but there was always that one tiny voice who would always say, “But, does he though?” Now, that voice was as good as dead. Varian didn’t hate him. He wasn’t giving him the *total* silent treatment. Maybe he could work up from here, have conversations through the door, send notes, maybe even ask why he was doing any of this in the first place.Just as he’s about to leave for his lab to finish the ice bombs with the now completed formula, Hugo heard two knocks on the door and stopped. He wasn’t expecting anything else. He looked at the bottom of the door and saw a small stack of papers slide under and he picked them up. It was a stack of alchemy notes titled “Melting Bomb” The notes were full of blank spaces and question marks and there was a note attached that said:

Hugo-Please assist me in completing this formula for a melting alchemy bomb. I have been on and off of this project for the past few years, and some assistance would be much appreciated. Thank you.-Varian

As excited as Hugo was that his brother was reaching out to him, and actively looking for his help, he couldn’t help but feel a bit…disappointed at the formality of the note. As if Hugo were some stranger that Varian had just met and had to put up formalities and not his own brother. Nevertheless, he shouts a quick “Be right back!” and dashes off to his room to grab a quill and inkwell. While he runs, he reads over the notes and finds the answer fairly quickly. It wasn’t all that hard, it just was in desperate need of a fresh set of eyes. He scribbled down the answers as quick as possible, not wanting to keep Varian waiting. He runs back to Varians room, knocks 2 times and slips the notes under the door. After a couple of minutes, he hears a soft gasp, the quick scratching of a quill, and a new note being shoved under the door. Hugo picked up the note and stared at the messy handwriting and smiled. This was the big brother he remembered. Thanks for the help! Now go work on your project! This went on for the next few months with notes. Sometimes it wasn't just alchemy they talked about. It started simple, like “How’s your day going” and things like that.

Then it slowly evolved to things like “Get some rest Haristripe” and “You haven’t eaten yet today have you, Hugo?” (Both weren’t exactly the best at self care, especially when they were caught up in their work). The day Hugo finally heard Varian talk was one of the best days of his life. Obviously, he had heard his brother talk before, but it had been years since they had spoken, and as the time passed, Hugo’s memories of Varian’s voice faded. Plus, with the time passing, he knew his voice would have changed. So, when Varian finally said a soft “Thank you”, Hugo’s face lit up with a huge smile. He didn’t talk much, but when he did, Hugo treasured every word he said, committing them to memory. For a while, things were going great. Until one fateful day, when Hugo pushed his luck just a *bit* more than he probably should have. The day started out normal enough, Hugo worked on some experiments he didn’t finish last night, ate some lunch, and then after lunch he grabbed his notes that needed Varian’s help, and started making his way to his room. However, on the way, he realized that as happy as he was to be able to talk to Varian, it didn’t feel *right*. A relationship based solely on notes slipped under a door and minimal verbal talking felt like a false one. What Hugo wanted to know more than anything, was *why*. Why had Varian shut him and the rest of the world out? If it was so necessary, why hadn’t he at least attempted some form of contact? This one word question had plagued Hugo’s mind ever since the door had closed, and he had never really had the confidence to ask it: until now.

So, he went back to his room and wrote out a letter. It was simple, a little more formal than usual, but to the point. It read: Varian- We’ve been talking with each other for a while now, and I feel we are at a point where I can ask this question: Why? Why have you locked yourself in your room and away from the rest of the world? Was it something I did? You can answer as vaguely or specifically as you like, I just would really like some answers. Thanks, Hugo

His hands shook as he folded the letter and slid it under the door. He knew to give Varian a little extra time, this wasn’t just a simple math problem. So Hugo waited. And waited. And waited, until it was dinner time and his stomach forced him to get some food. The whole time, his mind was at war with itself once again: See? You just had to push your luck, didn’t you? He’s giving you the cold shoulder ‘cause you couldn’t leave well enough well enough. No! He’s not giving me the cold shoulder, he’s just taking his time to formulate a response. It’s probably a really long story. Keep telling yourself that. I will! ‘Cause it’s true! If the positive side of Hugo was right, Varian sure was taking his sweet old time, because it was 3 weeks before anything happened. Three weeks of absolute silence from the older prince. The only reason things changed was because Hugo took the brave first step of sliding alchemy notes through the door. Five minutes later, it came back with notes and edits. There were no additional quips, remarks, or any explanations like he had requested three weeks earlier, but this was better than silence. They soon fell back into the routine they had before: notes, minimal verbal communication, and various quips. It felt good to get back to that routine, but a small part of Hugo still ached for answers that he feared would never come. But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.(20/20)

((And there it is! The final part! I hope u enjoyed reading it, this is the first time ive really written something i didnt hate *and* am sharing this with someone. Thank you for taking the time to read this, this means more than u know. Thank you also for letting me take over ur inbox😅Next up im doing this story but w/ varians pov, which ive already started. Thx again! -💙

Ahhhhhh, first off, sorry for getting to this later than I usually do!! These past few weeks have been hectic and I’ve been needing to take a step back and focus more on school and classes and stuff, but I finally got to reading this and OMIGOSH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

(Hope you don’t mind if I just added in some italics and kinda changed the formatting to make it easier to read - didn’t take anything off or anything, but the way tumblr formats asks is a bit weird lol, hope that doesn’t offend you! - also number 7 somehow went missing? 😅)

But OMIGOSH YO - just my heart akfjajdjaj 🥺 The two of them building their relationship slowly through passing letters underneath the door? Oh my heart, and the way you can just feel them getting closer and happier because of it?

But then Hugo asking Varian the why - why did he shut him out, why was he behind the door, why can’t they see each other - and then Varian just suddenly going back to that stiff and formal demeanor after that akfjakfjja I cry ahhhhhhh-

“But he never acted on this, fearing that Varian would once again give him the cold shoulder, and this time would ignore him for good.” - JUST RIP MY HEART OUT BLUE NONNIE AHDKGKAKJD

I absolutely loved seeing Hugo’s hesitance then excitement and eagerness to get closer to his brother whom he barely even knows besides a few memories (and ha, I see the headache there 👀) and only to see that he went too far and the fragile bond they’d forged again had melted and akfjakfjaj the FEELS-

Thank you for sharing and for letting me read your writing! I’m excited to see what you’ve got next for Varian’s POV!!! 😱

[alchemist-shizun]

To tend thee is my care

ACT I

ACT II - Read on Ao3!

See the awesome fanart!

Word count: 13,679 

Taglist: @lesbianturtle @len-art-trash @i-need-you-buddy @jeevashun @quietlypondering  @creativity-killed-thekitten @bookwyrminspiration @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing  @softanxiouspatton @be-more-chaotic @pheonix-inside-reblogs @www-dot-ohshit-dot-com @datfearlessfangirl @alltimevirgilant @royalnerd829 @just-fic-me-up @theblankest123 @theotherella​ @thesleepyraziel @gaylotusthatexists @sendingcookiesfromhell @mijako98 @logicalberry @maybe-i-like-the-misery @orderly-opaline @purpledemond

(Please tell me if you want to be added too for Act II!)

Characters: Virgil, Nonbinary!Roman

Summary: You’ve heard of enemies to lovers now get ready for acquaintances to friends to now we’re fighting because I’m scared of your rejection so I’m pretending it’s your fault when it clearly is mine to friends again, even though you’re an idiot, but I still love you to lovers. 

Roman and Virgil are both part of the theater group of their school, Roman is one of the actors, while Virgil is the head of the stage design group. Despite being in the same year and having lessons in the same building, they hadn’t really ever talked to each other, but everything was about to change when the teachers, heads of the whole theater group, announced that they were going to challenge themselves by presenting one of Euipides’ last plays: The Bacchantes. Follow our two main characters helping each other out as one is forced to learn how to act in a matter of months and the other goes through a journey of self-discovery as he studies his role.

Pairing(s): Prinxiety (I’m unpredictable)

Warning(s): Mild swearing, Death mention (mostly when talking about the tragedy), Blood mention (once), Negative thinking, Implied toxic parenting (once), [Me projecting heavily onto Virgil (also Ro at some point)]

A/n: I’ve been writing this for months and I can’t explain how proud I am to show you guys this! Before you start reading, I want to inform you that the school system I write about here is not the American one since I know little to nothing about it. Instead I’ll be using the one of my country for reasons of simplicity. (All names I use here are invented, so you can place the events wherever you’d like.) I thought about doing a long for this plot but I chose to write a one shot instead, since it’s pretty long I decided to divide it into two acts, the second one is coming very soon. I studied and read the whole play translated in my original language, that’s where the inspiration for my au came from. All the English translations I used for the play are from here, here and here. The song mentioned is So Contagious by Acceptance. That being said, hope you enjoy!

✾✾✾✾

What now?

It was during an October’s Tuesday that Virgil had started panicking due to school stress.

It wasn’t like his teachers hadn’t been pressuring his class ever since they entered their first fifth year lesson: partly because of the final exams, the rest of the time they asked about their university choices.

This year’s archaeological excavation, an experience reserved only to the students of his course, was also placed exactly in those three weeks of October were the theater group had started.

Tuesday in October for Virgil meant lessons until half past midday, research for the upcoming excavation exhibition until two p.m., theater club for an hour, then back to doing research with one of his teachers and half of his classmates until 17:00.

In all honesty, he wouldn’t have minded being buried alive when they’d have to cover back up the site.

Virgil had tried convincing himself that it wasn’t really that hard, besides the club had just started and the first few days were mostly focused on helping the first years settle, be comfortable with the teachers and also test out their abilities. And this one was only the second meeting.

But, of course, his day had to get worse. Life was trying him, and boy, did he hate sudden drastic changes.

It was when he noticed all the odd attention he was getting by the teachers that he realized something was definitely going to go wrong.

Everyone took a seat on the wooden bleachers of the old gym, they were basically attached to the pavement and the obnoxious yellow-painted walls of the large room. A quick glance around and you had the feeling that everything was going to collapse at any moment.

Virgil saw some familiar faces, some new ones, but he definitely couldn’t forget about the regulars: his beloved stage deseign group, which were a bunch of students that the teacher trusted him enough to take care of and teach them what they had to do during shows and how to prepare the stage. And next to them some actors from the last three years, Dave, Bonnie, Lukas and Roman.

He and Roman were the only ones brave enough to stick around even during the toughest year of that hellhole, so everyone silently respected them. And just as much as Virgil helped the newcomers in his group, Roman was happy to lend a hand in acting along side the most talented fourth and third years above mentioned.

« Well hello and welcome back here, guys! » Mrs. Michaelis had started, clasping her hands together, she was an English grammar and literature teacher.

After making sure everybody had arrived, they explained that since the week after they were going to see the first years’ “auditions” as they liked to call them, but they were really simply methods to check how promising someone could be at acting.

« I know this may sound shocking, we still can’t believe it- »

« Mostly because normally it takes us a couple of months before choosing a script. » Mrs. Eagan, an ancient Greek and Latin teacher, had interrupted, causing multiple chuckles from the students.

« … As I was saying, yes. We already know the play that we’ll be covering this year, we also have scripts ready for almost everybody. But there’s some news! »

« This year we decided to sign up our group and participate to some kind of challenge! » murmurs began to fill the room, as uneasiness set in Virgil’s stomach. Why make things harder for everybody? Wasn’t it just as good doing a simple show one night and one morning?

« Some, let’s say, “judges” are going to attend our play and afterwards, if they’re satisfied enough, they will let us take our production to the biggest local theater! »

The murmurs transformed into gasps, that theater was placed in the city of their province, getting an invitation was a huge challenge.

« And our play is going to be … » Mrs. Eagan’s eyes met Virgil’s and fixated on them. That’s when he began overthinking. Why was she looking directly at him? That never meant good news. « … Euripides’ tragedy, The Bacchantes. »

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Only his eyes widened among the confused looks of most of the students. He had studied that play, along side many other ones, in his fourth year. He did truly love them, but damn him if they weren’t already a challenge to portray.

« That’s right Virgil, you know it. » why was also the English teacher giving him his attention? What were they planning, did he have to explain the play to everybody?

All the students turned to face him, some quietly asking what was the plot, some fourth years of his same course demanded to know if it was a difficult topic.

« Easy now, everybody, he’s already been tested last year by Mr. Richardson. » one of the teachers interrupted, walking closer to the spot where Virgil sat, for some reason he had found himself next to the “talented actors group”.

They explained the plot for everybody after that.

« We know it might be real tough, so this year we already agreed on the roles beforehand. Don’t worry, if you didn’t get your time to shine this year, in the next ones you totally will. »

Wait, he wasn’t part of the actors group, why did this have anything to do with him? Why were they still staring at him?

To his relief, the teachers addressed the newcomers first. « We were thinking about giving the role of the chorus to the first and second years, they have long bits, but we can split them instead of making you all recite them, so that you don’t feel too burdened and the role becomes easy for all of you. »

« The roles of the messengers will be given to our third years, messengers are used to explain everything that happens that does not happen on scene. One of the rules for tragedies was that the scene had to take place in the same time and place. Also, they didn’t show blood and/or murders/suicides on scene. They were all narrated. »

« As for our three fourth years. » they looked over Virgil’s shoulder to Dave, Lukas and Bonnie. « Your roles will be Cadmus, Tiresias and Agave. They play a very important part in the whole story, we trust you’ll do a great job. »

« As for our main characters, Pentheus and Dionysus … » they set their eyes on Roman, who looked more expectant than ever.

But then they also shifted their glances to Virgil.

« We were thinking our only fifth years could have their roles as a good way of saying goodbye to them, since this will be their last play. » everybody else was nodding in agreement, Roman was beaming but slightly confused. Wasn’t Virgil part of the stage design group?

In fact, our little emo kid could only look back in disbelief.

« Roman, Virgil, would you like to become a king and a god, respectively? »

What now?

As the beloved actor was about to answer, Virgil interrupted with a shy apology. « I’m sorry, but there must be a mistake, I’m not part of the actors group, I’ve never acted in the past four years, actually. »

« We know Virgil, but we really thought it might be such a nice way of thanking you guys for your contributions all these years. »

Oh yes, you’re right, putting me in a stress condition by making me do something I have no idea about for a big project that could take us to one of the largest theaters of the country is definitely the best choice you could have made.

All he was able to say was a stuttering noise, as they continued with their little speech. « And Roman is such a good actor, he’s going to help you for sure, aren’t you? »

The mentioned boy nodded vigorously, then proceeded to show one of his brightest smiles. « I always come to the rescue of my fellow actors in need. »

Yeah. Amazing. He was stuck with their decision.

« Besides you already probably know each other pretty well by now, so it won’t be a problem! »

The two students looked at each other. The recognizable expressions of two teens that, despite being in the same year and club, had never said a single word to each other apart from when needed during rehearsals.

« … Right. »

« But what about my group then? » Virgil questioned, he was definitely not going to leave them behind just like that.

« You don’t have to worry about them. This year your History of Art teacher will be lending a hand with the stage and volunteered to be the head of the group. »

Right. Mr. Williams, one of the only teachers that were pretty tolerable in his class.

« And look at them. » he did so, and he was met with happy smiles and encouraging faces. « I’m sure they’ll do a good job after four years with you by their side. Right, Anastasia? »

Anastasia was one of the oldest of the bunch, if not one of the wisest and most skilled, sometimes they wondered if she could just do anything that crossed her mind. « You got it! » she leaned in as if to get closer to the older boy. « We’ll be cheering for you Virge! » she concluded, followed by a couple of “Yeah!“s.

Everybody was so joyful and expectant that he couldn’t help but comply, so he decided to simply sigh and reply with nothing.

As the teachers continued with their topics for the meeting, Virgil couldn’t help but have a single thought in his mind.

This is going to be the most awkward thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.

✾✾✾✾

As soon as the meeting came to an end, Virgil was fast to get up and rush towards the dungeon’s stairs that would lead again to the surface. Basically there were two buildings, the school and the gym, linked by a little dungeon were there were all the labs and computer rooms.

He had to get back to the library as soon as he could, or god knows what “you’re late” speech his teacher would have given him. He was always literally on the verge of marking his students as absent if they didn’t show up to the lesson in the exact minute before the bell rang.

Virgil decided to panic about the dumpster fire that had come his way during the meeting after that. One issue at a time. First of all, he had to reach the stairs’ gate and push-

« Hey! Wait for me. »

God, he didn’t have time for this. He kept walking, ignoring the voice behind him and hoping for it to give up and leave him to his well-deserved peace and quiet. At least for three minutes.

As he walked, he found none but Roman himself matching his pace and walking by his side with a curious look. Who could blame him for wanting to be nice?

« You forgot your stuff in your classroom too? » he tried, not a brilliant starter for a conversation, but he had to get something out of the boy.

« No. » cut and dry, that was the only thing that Virgil dared to let escape his mouth.

« Where to, then? »

« The library. »

« Oh, are you waiting for a bus? Maybe I could keep you company. »

« Listen. » they made to a stop as they reached the last floor, not that far off from Virgil’s destination. « Today’s already been as stressful as it is, could you just … go straight to the point? I don’t have much time here. »

It was not like he had meant to sound rude, it wasn’t like it was his purpose either to brush off someone just like that or to see the other boy’s hurt expression. But he had reached a limit in which he didn’t really care-

« Oh, my apologies, then. »

And there was the guilt.

« I was just wondering if we could exchange numbers, if it isn’t uncomfortable for you. I guess we’ll need to hang out in the future. » he tried to sound as confident as he could, but it was as if “awkward” was scribbled all over his face.

« Sure, are you asking me on a date next? » with all the sarcasm injected in his words, he sure as hell wasn’t expecting Roman’s remark.

« Well, if you wouldn’t mind. » a sly smile made its way through the actor’s face, but was soon replaced by a troubled expression when he saw Virgil’s eye roll and sigh.

« Was I … was I too straightforward? I didn’t- »

« You’re fine, calm down. » Virgil quickly took out his phone and unlocked it before passing it to the other student. As he quietly typed after a murmured “alright”, Virgil couldn’t help but wonder if he had ever upset anyone with his bold statements. It wasn’t like this town was open minded, while he seemed … particularly flamboyant.

Before he could finish his thoughts, he had his phone back in his hands and the not-so-much-stranger-anymore was already heading towards his classroom to get his backpack.

« I sent myself a message. » he warned, then he disappeared and reappeared in a matter of seconds, marched down the hall and flashed him a toothy smile while waving his hand.

« Don’t be a stranger, I’ll see you tomorrow! »

Virgil only nodded and found it impossible to take his eyes off of him until the last lock of hair had vanished down the stairs, wondering what had just happened. Maybe that was the magic that worked on his public every year.

He gave a rapid look at the screen of his phone, noticing that the boy had saved himself as “Princey” with a star emoji right next to it.

This time, he entered the library with an amused expression.

✾✾✾✾

Roman kept repeating in his mind that it wasn’t his fault.

Yes, it was Firday. Yes, he had gone the rest of the days without a single word to Virgil, not even when he noticed him in the halls during break or when they either entered or left school. Some days he didn’t even see him.

Yes, he could have texted him. But it felt too weird, yet, they didn’t know each other at all! Plus they didn’t even have the script ready.

Yes, he felt like he had the weight of this play’s success completely on his shoulders and depending on him and still shied away from acknowledging it.

But Virgil kept avoiding him! He couldn’t do much without him.

If he saw him during the ten minutes break, Virgil would walk past him without a second thought as if he didn’t think he needed to talk to him.

Some other times he pretended he didn’t even see him. It was getting tough to even have his attention anymore, as if he had to be added to the mean girls table. He needed a miracle.

And maybe the deities were in his favor that day.

As Roman walked down the path that was made next to the plaza, he noticed a familiar little figure sitting on a bench with a backpack next to him and earbuds in his ears. He was watching in front of him as life flew by and didn’t notice Roman approaching at all.

« Virgil? »

The boy in front of him jerked his head up and took out both of his earbuds; his clothes looked much more worn and randomly put together, as if he had dressed himself in the dark. What got Roman the most was the quantity of dirt that was on them and … was that blood under some of his nails?

Roman dropped his bag on the bench, worry expanding in his chest. « Oh my goodness are you okay? » he made to reach for his hand, only to stop himself just in time to remind him of personal space.

Virgil gave him a confused look and brought his fingers to his eyes, close enough to examine them. « Not again. » he groaned, a huff coming out of his lips.

« Wait, I should have something. »

« You don’t have to, it’s noth- »

« Here! » Roman grabbed a box from his bag triumphantly, he took a couple of plasters and waved them in front of the other.

« Why do you even have so many? »

« What can I say, I’m a clumsy person. »

« Mh. Charming. »

« At least I rescued you! Now, show me your hands. » he ordered, but as soon as he saw Virgil’s mouth open to argue, he was ready to remark « I don’t care if you can do this by yourself, you have literally injured fingers, let me help. »

Seeing that there was no other way out of it, he complied.

As soon as he placed his hands over his fingers, Roman couldn’t help but notice how different their skin tones really were compared to one another, sure the difference was obvious at first glance, but seeing it this close was completely something else. He gently dabbed the fresh blood away with a tissue he had taken out with the box a few instants earlier.

Three plasters and a thank you later, the concerned face came back again and Virgil wanted nothing more than the sweet liberation of death. What was his deal, did he never dig on dirt as a child?

« How did you get hurt? »

Virgil simply pointed behind his shoulders, where Roman could only see a huge pile of dirt resting against a tree. He tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy, a sight the other would have found endearing if only he wasn’t so exasperated and tired.

« I’ve been working all day, Princey. »

Roman smiled at the familiar nickname, but still found confusion in his thoughts. « Aren’t you supposed to be at school? »

« It’s linked to school. Haven’t you heard of the excavations that our school is doing? »

Now that he mentioned that, he had heard a bunch of things, but never really paid attention since it was something that wasn’t related to his course.

Roman attended the Languages course, in which he could learn Spanish and French, other than his mother language, with literature comprehended, and all the experiences linked to it were the cultural exchanges during the third and fourth years.

Virgil, otherwise, was part of the Classical course, meaning that he had signed his death certificate by committing to five years of learning ancient Greek and Latin plus the respective literature as main subjects. But other than that and the famous one week school trip to Greece every three years, Roman had no clue what they did other than study until they couldn’t remember their own names, just like any other student.

Yeah, they couldn’t say their school system was perfect.

« I don’t exactly know every detail. Are you guys doing this? »

« Kind of. What we’re doing is carry on with the work we did the past two years, where we had opened other excavations. Let’s say we’re looking for clues. We’re supervised by an actual archaeologist though. »

« That’s so cool! Did you find any gold? » Virgil wasn’t really expecting such excitement coming from Roman. Apart from the all too familiar question, he often found his interlocutors to be pretty uninterested by the topic.

« No gold, but … remember last Tuesday? » Roman nodded attentively.

« On that morning, during one of Mr. Richardson’s lessons, one of our classmates video-called us saying there was an urgent matter to show us. They had found possibly a Roman coin. » he tried to bite back the smile that threatened to form on his lips at the joyful memory, but nothing could take away that particular twinkle in his eyes.

« Are you serious?! That’s wonderful, what if you find a hidden treasure? »

« Unlikely, but it would be nice. »

« Wow. » Roman breathed out, staring at the scene beside his … new acquaintance? « How did you hurt yourself, anyway? »

« See that pile of dirt? I’ve been scanning every bucket full of soil that was thrown in there. My job was searching in the dirt for possible relics that were missed out while others did the digging. We installed a little assembly line. And running your fingers through that for hours makes you sore I guess. »

« That doesn’t seem very fun, though. »

Virgil shrugged. « I didn’t mind. I like working by myself, especially when the job is as simple as it is important. » And it was true, it wasn’t like the archaeologist put him there because he was just hopeless with the other instruments, every little clue was important and looking for them was a crucial point that can be easily taken care of if you’re a perfectionist.

Plus, the archaeologist seemed to have taken a liking into Virgil, so that didn’t make him feel left out at all.

« Even though, today one of my classmates came to help me. » the boy turned to see that Roman was still listening to him, with no intention of changing the subject. That was new, too.

« You know those terribly annoying ones? He slowed down our chain to the point that he had to argue with this girl that was in dire need of empty buckets while we still had all of them full because he wanted to look through every inch of dirt before handing it out. » he let out a deep sigh, as if he had just been venting for hours.

« That was pretty idiotic, what happened then? »

« Uh, well, we went back to working, just as I was doing before he came to help. »

Roman snorted, imagining the scene in front of his eyes. « So he made a fuss only for it to go back as before and prove him wrong. I’d say he’s pretty amazing. »

« Yeah. » Virgil agreed, « Anyway, sorry for rambling. » he added in a lower tone, while checking his phone for notification, before putting it away quickly.

Roman arched his eyebrow at his words. « As someone who whines constantly, I don’t really think you should worry. »

At least, that succeeded to steal a chuckle from the tired one.

« Did you find anything? » Virgil was really starting to believe this guy couldn’t have a minute of pure silence.

« Well, there’s always a couple of bones, some weird ferric objects, teeth and … » he stopped, remembering the event of the week before.

This time, a wide smile appeared before he could stop it as he searched through his phone’s camera gallery; it was the one thing he was real proud of, possibly the prettiest of his findings.

He handed the phone over to Roman, whose eyes widened at the sight, in front of him he could see a pic of a piece of ceramic with white, brown, yellow and blue decorations, dirt was still covering it, but you could already make out how beautiful it was.

« You found this in here? »

« Yes, it was amazing. I was standing there, » he pointed to a vague direction in front of the dirt pile, excitement rising in his chest as he remembered. « and someone was throwing the dirt on the pile and I recognized the bottom of the piece. We had already found other ceramics and I was hoping it was one too. So I picked it up as soon as I spotted it and there were at least three inches of dirt on top. I moved it away with my thumb and I was met with that decoration. I think I might have yelled. » he leaned in to take another look at the pic, as if never satisfied with it.

Roman certainly didn’t miss how bright he appeared when he was talking about the excavation, all the tiredness was gone and the pain in his whole body caused by eight hours of work was long forgotten. He looked genuinely happy, a contrast to his unusual dark and broody persona.

« Did you choose you university yet? » he had a thought, while handing the phone back, which could have maybe helped the injured boy.

« Jumping a bit? Uh, no, honestly I have no idea. »

« Ever thought of doing something with archaeology? »

« Uhm … » Virgil tapped his fingers on his palm. It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered the possibility in the past, but he had been told that it was probably too hard and maybe too boring from his point of view. On the other hand he truly enjoyed working in the site …

« You still with me, buddy? You don’t have to choose in the next five minutes. »

« Shut up, I was thinking. »

« Your thinking is too loud. »

« And here I was considering you as actually not that bad. »

« I know you secretly admire me. »

« The important thing is you believe that. »

Their wise and profound conversation was interrupted by Virgil’s ringtone going off, he picked up, had a brief talk and tucked the phone away in his pocket.

« My mother’s arrived to pick me up. » he informed, pointing at a car parked a few feet away from them.

They both stood up, but none of them made to move at all.

« Uh, I was thinking … » Roman struggled to find the right words, as if anything he said might offend Virgil at any given moment. « I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but maybe we could meet up sometimes to talk about the play? Or I could start helping you as soon as we get the scripts. »

Virgil made a face, as if he had been trying to forget a bad nightmare and had just been reminded of it. Still, he had no right to escape that any further, and he was already anxious about not being able to make it in time, even before he could start learning his lines. So maybe starting to work on it sooner wasn’t that bad of an idea.

« Sounds good. » he hesitated, not sure how to continue, when an idea sparked in his mind. « Maybe I could give you some insight on the tragedy. »

« That’d be awesome! When are you free? »

Hah. « During week-days I’m busy until five p.m. everyday. At least for another week, when this project will be over. »

That explained why he was still in town at almost six p.m.

« You guys dig everyday? »

« Something like that. We’re divided into two groups and we dig every other day. When we don’t we still have to stay at school and do researches for the final exhibition. »

Roman’s eyes lit up at the last words, he was going to ask him about it the next time the occasion presented itself.

« That sucks. Okay, look, I don’t wanna steal anymore time from your beloved mother, so I’ll text about it to you later, okay? »

« Cool. » Virgil raised his hand and waved it ever so slightly.

Roman returned the good-bye and got back to his task, marching down the sidewalk, but as Virgil had just opened the door of his mother’s car, he remembered to yell “And don’t forget to get some rest, I’m starting to confuse your makeup with your dark circles!”.

Virgil got into the car with an exasperated sigh and found his mother giggling to herself while she looked at him.

« Was that a friend? »

« God I hope not. »

✾✾✾✾

Tuesday came back in a hurry, along with the theater club, some worried and some bored students. Virgil stood in the middle of “time to panic and/or cry” and “if I don’t fall into eternal slumber right now I will burn this building to the ground”.

If he could name some of the most atrocious backstabbers he had ever met, he’d instantly name his teachers: at first they told his class they’d make it easy for them since they were so busy with the project, now they pretended the students had to be more organized with their studying and homework. Tests and interrogations had been made despite them being at least nine hours at school instead of five, some even coming home later than that.

In a word, they didn’t care, it was the students’ fault.

Virgil had his back against the wall, sitting on the top step of the bleacher with his legs close to his chest, the meeting had been starting for a couple of minutes and, of course, he didn’t have anything to do except hating himself and wait for another uneventful hour to pass.

« Hey Gerard Way Too Dark, look what they gave me. »

Or maybe not.

Virgil looked up to be met with Roman standing in front of him with two binders in his hand: the two of them had agreed on meeting up only when school would let them breathe enough to find a single day where they were both free from studying. Which was yet to be a thing.

The beloved actor handed him one of the binders, it read the title of the play, the author and the characters. He didn’t like how his role was the very first one on the list.

« At last. » he dryly commented, flipping the pages quick enough to not read a single actual word out of it.

Roman sat down next to him and examined the first page, as if looking for some kind of unspoken treasure, then he turned to take out a stash of highlighters Virgil had no clue where he kept. He showed them to him, waiting for him to pick a color.

By the looks of them, they seemed brand new and neatly arranged in the colors of the rainbow. Virgil picked out the lilac one, he had always preferred the gentler colors, it made it easier to study with the lights on.

His colleague chose the red one and began going through the pages and highlighting all the lines he had to learn as Pentheus.

Silently, Virgil did the same with the lines Dionysus said, recalling the scenes as he went through them. Though … he noticed there were far too many. He never realized how impossible it looked in his eyes until he had it plainly laid out in front of him.

Great, you’re going to mess this up, you won’t ever be able to do this in time. Plus you’re probably going to forget everything the moment right before going on stage. Who thought this was going to be a good id-

« Are you okay down there? »

He didn’t realize he was rubbing at his face with his hands, while trying to shake off the storm forming in his mind. In doing so, he had also let the marker fall to the wooden step with a clatter, which caught the other’s attention.

« Yeah, ’m just tired. » he managed to let out through his fingers in a muffled sound.

Roman made a humming noise, then proceeded to cast aside all his stuff and let himself relax against the wall. « Then I’d say we call it a day and sleep until it’s time to part ways. »

Virgil looked at him, surprise written all over his face, wasn’t he supposed to work even harder than normal because of the occasion? Either way, he mirrored the boy, pulling up his hood so that he could find some comfort.

« I think I’m too worried about all this mess, » he retorted, gesturing at his script. « to be able to even close my eyes. »

« Then tell me about it. »

He considered the option, he did actually promise him he’d do it before, besides he’d be distracting himself from the impending doom, be actually productive and explaining the tragedy to the actor. A double win for both parties.

« The story is centered around this group of Bacchantes that came from Asia and want to enter Thebes and spread their cult, they’re also guided by a lone nomad that none knows is actually Dionysus, the founder of the cult itself. » he turned to face Roman, in a silent “tell me where I lose you” manner.

« They are stopped by Pentheus, now king of the city, son of Agave and nephew of Cadmus, the founder of Thebes. Tiresias is a famous seer that understands the potential of the cult and invites Cadmus to preach the god with him. They try to reason with Pentheus, but it’s all in vain. In the meantime, while this king is busy insulting the cult, Dionysus makes all the women of the city go mad and follow the Maenads. »

« Payback? »

« More like first warning. » Virgil counted to one on his right hand for emphasis. « After that, Pentheus sent his soldiers to capture him. And they succeeded, he didn’t resist and kept up his act, only to free himself of the chains thanks to his magic. When Pentheus found him, Dionysus pretended he was helped by the god and began charming him until the king gave in. »

« You mean, how he made him dress up as a Maenad? »

« Yes, but not only he did that, he drove him crazy, too. » did anyone else ever notice the slight green spots in Roman’s brown eyes or was it just the trick of the light? Virgil couldn’t tell, so he decided to explain further. « Pentheus claimed to be seeing double and having hallucinations. He was also very careful of his clothes, hair and posture, he wanted to be the perfect Maenad. He tried to convince himself it was for disguise purposes, but in my opinion he was rather enjoying that dress-up. »

« Really? » Roman questioned, he still had to look into his character, the more he knew about him, the better he could portray him. He always took every bit of information he could find, to the point in which he could somehow relate to them or at least be able to link him and the role. That way, he was able to love acting as every single one of them.

« You need to read their last conversation. Even you would say that at first glance. Anyway, the play ends with the Bacchantes shredding to pieces the body of Pentheus. The practice is called “sparagmòs”. After that Agave and Cadmus have a touching scene and it ends there. A bit shocking for her since she just killed her son, but the god made sure the women all saw a beast instead. »

« That’s cruel, though. »

« Princey, he disrespected a fucking god, dying is the least that could happen to him. »

There was the nickname again. And, as if on cue, Roman’s lips twitched into a small smile that disappeared right after. He wasn’t aware of the reason why he didn’t want to get caught, but … did Virgil really not remember?

« He didn’t give him a chance to apologize! »

« Then again, the cult of the Bacchantes includes a ritual where a human needs to be sacrificed. If he had ever been sorry, Dionysus would have probably ordered him to sacrifice himself so that he could be satisfied and purified by his action. »

« Okay, okay. » Roman put his hands up in surrender. « I recognize I’m talking to a smart one over here, I give up. » he pretended he was waving a white flag to his side.

Virgil chuckled at his words. « I’m actually just average, but I can be passionate about some things, too. »

« Just average? I doubt all of your classmates still remember the entire plot of a tragedy and also can provide conspiracy theories. »

« Conspiracy- what are you talking about? »

« You know I’m right, you were totally on the verge of geeking out about this one. C'mon who’s your favorite character? » the actor mocked resting his face on his palms while a sly expression surrounded him.

« I will throw you off the stairs the next chance I have. »

« Good luck with that since you can’t even reach. »

Oh that was the last fucking straw.

Virgil turned his head to look at him in the eyes so rapidly that Roman feared his neck would give in and break right then and there. But the most disturbing image was the rage that was forming around the boy’s aura.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t the wisest thing to-

Virgil surged forward in a sudden movement and the actor jumped away pleading for salvation, it was only when he heard a foreign laugh that he turned around only to be met with the same dark and stormy guy, doubled over himself with laughter, teasing Roman.

« Did you seriously think I was going to attack you? »

« You can be scary sometimes, shut up! » heat began running in Roman’s cheeks out of embarrassment and he pretended nothing happened while Virgil quieted down next to him.

It was exactly in that moment that the meeting was called off.

As Roman followed him to the library, he wondered if that was going to be a regular thing after-

You idiot, this is the last week of your project.

« Oh, by the way. » Virgil stopped at the top of the stairs. « Don’t take it personally if I brush you off or disappear for the next few days, but the exhibition’s coming and I still have no idea what to say. »

« Talking about efficiency. » the actor rolled his eyes, recalling a few other examples he could give on the marvelous organization of teachers.

« Yeah, our teacher gave us tons of useful information. » he dead-panned, approaching the library’s doors.

« I will forever respect you for putting up with Mr. Richardson. »

That was able to get a chuckle out of Virgil.

« See you around, Pentheus. »

And with that, Roman was left walking home by himself with the warm feeling of having made a new possible friend spreading in his chest.

✾✾✾✾

It was Saturday morning when he noticed the fliers hanging around school. They showed a bunch of excavation pics and the subject of an archaeological exhibition centered around the school’s town. Roman took note of the date: it was exactly that same day!

So that was how he found himself during afternoon pacing around the plaza and stepping into an old tower, where a little crowd of at least fifteen people of all ages were standing and listening attentively to a student. There was only a little group of them, which he figured was because the exhibition took place multiple times during the week.

He just wondered if he had been lucky enough to find …

As he made his way through the front, so that he could see all the materials and boards exposed he heard the female voice say « Now I will turn it over to my classmate, Virgil! »

As soon as he heard his name, he followed her gaze and finally met an unusual sight: instead of the usual hoodie, he wore a black button up shirt and skinny dark blue jeans that might as well have been mistaken for the same other color. So he did know how to be fancy if he wanted.

Before he began explaining, he noticed Roman standing right next to their theater teachers and bit back a smile. He didn’t recall inviting him, actually he hadn’t wanted anyone he knew to witness him mess everything up as he was used to do. So what was he doing there?

Virgil welcomed everybody once again, then turned over to all the materials exposed.

And when he started talking, Roman was enthralled.

He didn’t know if it was the way the words rolled down his tongue, how he brushed the objects as if they were sacred treasures that would turn into dust at the slightest touch, or the sparkle in his eyes when he took in everybody’s attention and curiosity.

But there was a thing he did recognize: it was passion, that was definitely what he was radiating, the one emotion he knew all too well which helped him getting his public hanging at the edge of their seats.

And this time, he was the hooked one.

The two locked eyes multiple times, Virgil was surprised enough to find comfort in having someone to constantly smile at him, or in Mrs. Eagan’s nodding, in all those mouthed “you’re doing great”. He couldn’t stop going back at them everytime he looked up.

Before anyone knew it, his time was over and the group moved onto the last part of the exhibition, which was outside; the crowd followed the last student to the site that was still open and the remaining students in the room sighed with relief as Mr. Richardson followed them too for the final thanks.

Some minutes and a standing ovation later, Roman was already back into the small room as bright as ever, walking toward his favorite little archaeologist.

Virgil paced towards him at the same time, hissing a “what are you doing here?” while a small grin let itself spread on his face.

With no warning and an abrupt move, Roman’s arms had already wrapped themselves around the other boy’s upper chest, lifting him a little in the process.

Well, that was definitely new.

Not being used to such excitement, Virgil was only able to awkwardly return the hug after an initial moment of vacillation. Seeing his energy on stage was a thing, experiencing it like that was completely something else, but deep in his heart he knew it wasn’t a habit he wouldn’t have liked to adapt to.

Wait, what was that thought coming from? Why would he have to adapt to anything, he was just going to help him through acting and that was it.

Still, a new friend wasn’t a bad idea either …

« You did amazing! » was what Virgil heard after being released from the embrace, but not quite completely as Roman was still holding onto his arms.

He blinked a few times. « What are you talking about, I messed up and started stuttering at one point- »

« Oh shut up and let me compliment you, I didn’t even remember you did, king of modesty. »

« More like king of self-deprecation. »

« Can you stop for once in your life? »

Right in the short amount of time they weren’t talking, a single line caught their attention.

« Look at all this trash. »

What?

« Yeah, these are all so obviously fake. »

Thunderstorms.

Thunderstorms and lightning, howls of rage formed in Virgil’s chest, burning in a bonfire which heat traveled through his blood and reached his eyes only to darken them with fury.

His body stiffened, he wanted to scowl at them and tell them how wrong they were, just how dare them invalidate all the hard work of three weeks?

« Oh, Virgil! » Roman seemed to distract him, but he had a plan in mind as he moved both of them close to the materials table. « Remember that day I visited you while you guys were digging? »

But there wasn’t any- was he onto something? « Oh, yeah, you were walking home from school and you decided to stop. » he played along, as his friend nodded, making sure to be heard by the rude couple.

In the meantime, one of the students had gone out to update their teacher on the situation.

« Yeah, when you found that beautiful ceramic piece! » Roman turned to recognize the piece he had seen in the pic he had been shown, then pointed it. « Is it that one? »

« Yes, I can pick it up for you. » Virgil did so as he spoke.

« Wow, it’s even more gorgeous. »

« We had a hard time cleaning everything, so we tried to do the best job we could. Getting dirt out of bones is also … not super easy. »

« You guys are awesome. » Roman kept glancing around the room arranged for the exhibition, while the now embarrassed couple decided to leave under the incinerating stare of Mr. Richardson who had just came in to witness the situation.

Everybody in the room went to either grin or laugh inside, while the two boys shared a high five.

After making sure everything was under control, the teacher decided to begin cleaning up the place, so all the guests that stayed to chatter were dismissed.

« Hey, uh … » Virgil struggled to get out his voice, a little for being tired, a little because in moments of shyness his tone would go out as nothing more than a simple mutter. « Thank you for earlier and … also for coming, I guess. »

« Both of them were my utter pleasure. » Roman had a thing for being extra, and if he chose that aesthetic, he better had to stick to it by doing a theatrical bow at his friend.

« You are a nerd. »

« With style! »

« Whatever helps you sleep at night. » Virgil turned around to face the tower and began walking away. « See you around, Princey. »

There went another one.

Roman had to giggle quietly to himself, every single time his mind traveled to that one particular moment back in the first year when-

« You know, this is what I was talking about. »

He felt a presence walking by his side, suddenly, and found Mr. Eagan glaring at him with an almost nostalgic look.

« I’ve been telling him for years that he has the acting potential. » she sighed while Roman simply nodded along. « He’s been getting better, you see this isn’t the first exhibition they do, I’ve seen them all. »

« Oh, really? »

« Yes. And you can totally sense how much emotion he’s putting, you can tell he’s invested. »

« I agree, I’ve had the occasion to see that. »

« And honestly I feel bad for forcing him into this play thing … but I’m sure he’s going to shine. I’m so proud of him. » she smiled at herself, then stopped in her tracks and looked up at her student. « And I’m also sure you’ll do a good job. Bring out his talent, Roman. In your own special way. »

He remained speechless for a moment, just how much trust did these teachers actually have in both of them? He found it endearing, he felt almost as if they had some kind of motherly appreciation towards them.

« Thank you. We’ll work very hard on this one, you’ll see! »

They exchanged their farewells and Roman headed home, this time by himself, having all kinds of thoughts in his mind.

But most of all, he felt worried.

All of a sudden, it seemed like a blank page was being replaced in his head instead of all the knowledge apprehended through his life.

He had no idea how to start helping Virgil.

✾✾✾✾

Despite the initial awkwardness, things had begun to go way better than both of them had imagined. The occasional staying late after the theater meetings had allowed them to grow closer, so much that they at least shared a few words during break every day at school. And that was a huge effort for Virgil as he preferred to stay in class where almost none hanged around and simply scroll through his phone, waiting for the last two dreadful hours of lessons.

And, well, random texts weren’t late to arrive to the party, too.

Princey: okay but can we talk about what an idiot Pentheus is?

Vee: this is a weird midnight text to get, but go off I guess

Princey: I’m serious! Come on, like why don’t you just let people do their thingsss

Vee: Oh you’re taking this to heart, alright

Princey: Yeah?? Am I not supposed to be emotionally invested in my own play?

Vee: You’re talking as if you’ve written it

Princey: Maybe I did

Vee: gasp are you Euripides reincarnated

Princey: The one and only

Vee: My apologies sir, you have all the rights to whine about your own plot

Vee: I also have no clue how you know english

Princey: It’s the muses’ power!

Vee: Melpomene?

Princey: Bless you

Vee: Wow okay, go to sleep

Princey: Sleep is for the weak

Vee: And you’re gonna be weak in the morning so it really doesn’t matter

Princey: Alright, mum, why would you stay up then?

Vee: Reasons

Princey: Are you still scrolling through Tumblr and sticking to your natural emo kid persona?

Vee: ouch

Vee: no,  but I’d love to

Princey: mhh then you forgot to do homework or study?

Vee: You know me, I’m too anxious about my parents’ judgment to do that

Princey: demanding parents?

Vee: sorta.

Princey: sore topic?

Vee: Yup.

Princey: Alright then, you’re watching a movie? An anime?

Vee: No, I’m just talking to an idiot who won’t go to sleep

Princey: Oh I see, sounds like a total badass guy fighting the system

Vee: Yeah, fighting his body’s shut down system if he doesn’t get enough sleep.

Princey: bold of you to say that when we’re in the same situation

Vee: listen we’re talking about you stay focused

Princey: you know I’m right

Princey: C'mon why are you still up

Vee: no reason tbh

Vee: I just can’t seem to fall asleep so I’m tyring myself out until I can pass out on my bed

Princey: thaaat doesn’t seem very healthy

Vee: I never said I wanted to take care of myself

Princey: LOVE  YOURSELF BITCH

Vee: HAH

Vee: no.

Princey: i will make you!!

Princey: one day we’ll have a big relaxation day and you will be able to see the beauty in yourself!!

Vee: sounds unrealistic i’m in

Princey: come on work with me emo nightmare

Vee: i’m too lazy to live i’m sorry

Princey: then why don’t you just s l e e p

Vee: bc my sleep schedule is a mess and i cant seem to even shut my eyes everything in my life is going straight in the trash can and uhhhhhh yeah everything sucks

Princey: woah slow down

Princey: okay look you’re having me a bit concerned here

Vee: haha no it’s the usual daily stuff for me

Princey: ……….. it shouldn’t be????

Vee: eh

Princey: hey, would you answer if I called you?

Vee: if this is because of what i’ve just said, you’re worrying too much

Princey: nah it’s just for a distraction

Princey: and maybe you’ll be able to fall asleep

Vee: are you implying your voice is boring or you want to sing me a lullaby?

Princey: i’ll pretend i didn’t read the first part but i’ll have you know i have a very beautiful singing voice

Vee: pf alright i’m not entirely convinced

Princey: i’ll buy both of us coffee at the vending machine tomorrow morning before the first lesson starts

Vee: okay i’m sold, hit me up

✾✾✾✾

« This is unacceptable! I’m sorry, our friendship has to end here, I’m leaving. »

« I’m telling you, I have my reasons. »

« You can’t just simply dislike Hercules! »

Virgil sighed in defeat and resigned in his plastic seat; Christmas holidays had been around for a week, new year’s was already approaching and two youngsters had decided to spend an afternoon together with the excuse of reading some lines out of their scripts and helping each other out.

It wasn’t really the first time they did that, plus with the arrival of winter it was a nice excuse to be comforted by a warm cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream.

Just like they were doing in that moment, only that it seemed that they had completely forgotten about the play because of how much they were invested in other topics. Such as, obviously, Disney movies.

« It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just … so wrong. »

« Oh my- it’s not Percy Jackson, it’s Disney, they’re allowed to take some creative liberties. »

« I know, but I didn’t watch it as a child, I saw it recently- »

« How dare you. »

« -shut up. What I mean is: my studies have ruined its likability. »

Roman closed his eyes and put his hands together in front of his face in an exasperated manner. « Then let’s hear these freaking reasons, enlighten my blindness, o wise one! »

Virgil couldn’t help but smirk as the other one huffed. « First of all, thank you for the compliment. »

« But, see, the first thing that got me was the character of Phil. The actual Philoctetes wasn’t a satyr, he was a hero that fought in the Trojan war who also happened to be Hercules’ friend at some point. »

« Well, they were linked in the end! »

« Let me finish. All the deeds that Phil claimed to have made? All those heroes he trained? Bullshit. Everything was done by Chiron, the only wise and composed centaur of greek mythology. And like centaurs were thought as savage beasts, satyrs were always linked to Dionysus and described as libidinal creatures. Philoctetes would have probably felt insulted. »

« Your studies may have ruined your view but you’re ruining my childhood right now. » Roman muttered the words as a childish pout formed on his lips.

« Ah, also Megara was a city, not a person. » said Virgil with nonchalance.

« WHAT. » the wide-eyed actor jumped in his seat and surged forward a little, blinking a few times.

Without expecting it, Virgil’s composed face contorted with a snort, which then grew into giggles and then again transformed into a genuine and amused laughter that couldn’t stop.

He tried to breathe in. « Princey, you- » he cut himself off as another wave of giggles hit him, so he held one hand up as if to tell him to wait until he could properly compose himself.

And Roman knew he otherwise would have felt offended, or at least in a playful way, he knew normally he would have instantly asked what was the matter. But he couldn’t really shake off the feeling of wanting to protect and carve this picture into his memory until it was the only thing he could remember.

And he truly wanted to share that angelic laughter, participate to the mirthful moment, yet he found himself solely staring at the unusual sight in pleasant disbelief at how stunning that scene was.

He could merely twitch his lips upwards and consider how much he adored hearing the nickname in such an entertained voice.

Something inside Roman clicked as Virgil finally gained enough breath, and he knew he was done for.

« Sorry, uh, » he was finally able to breathe out. «  I was actually messing with you. She did exist. »

He looked him in the eyes and all Roman could think was “finally”.

After a beat, noticing the other didn’t respond and assuming he was upset or something, he continued. « Though she and their children were afterwards killed by Hercules according to some. Others think he killed his children and Megara compelled him to commit suicide. Awful stories for great heroes, I guess. »

Roman, who was still starstruck, was only able to comment. « Breathtaking. »

Virgil made a face and lowered the cup he was raising to his lips. « What? »

« Uh … what? No I was just- the TV! Behind you, yes. I was commenting that. »

The confused one turned ever so slightly to quickly glance at the old black screen facing his back. « Alright, I won’t question your weird obsession with old style televisions. »

Nailed it.

Their discourse went on escalating to different topics, but never once brushing the fact that they met to keep up their theater practice, like good procrastinating students. It wasn’t like they were avoiding it on purpose, for the first time they felt like spending quality time with each other was their main priority.

« Okay, listen, Tripping in the Darkness. I went on a cruise once and even there I was able to reveal my beautiful voice. »

« So sorry for the passengers. »

« I should have left you outside freezing in the cold. » Roman scoffed after a beat.

« But you didn’t. »

« I’m starting to reconsider. »

« We both know you would never do it. »

« I forgive you only because you’re cute. » oh wait, oh wha- Roman immediately hid behind his cup, drinking the last remaining of his warm beverage. He hoped that the heat would rush off of his cheeks by the time he had finished.

« Wow, I’m flattered. » Virgil didn’t leave his sarcastic tone and didn’t seem to have noticed anything different, until he snorted out loud when he was met with Roman’s face after he lowered the cup.

Roman’s heart sank, was he still blushing? Was he already onto him? That was bad, that was-

« You got … » Virgil’s voice got back to being amused and he gestured towards his face. Oh, great, he had a chocolate-stained face now. Just what he needed.

« Where? Is it gone? » he frantically kept on asking as he wiped around his mouth and cheeks with his bare hand.

His friend shook his head. « Not even close. »

On a scale on one to Roman’s worst embarrassing moments compilation, he would have probably found himself on top of that very ranking, because after that Virgil simply reached for the container on the little table.

« For starters, you take a tissue. » while he did so, Roman could only watch as his friend  gently rubbed away the spot on the bridge of his nose. Oh. The cup did touch it earlier.

Alright that was awkward and I’m stupid, let’s move on.

But no, his brain had decided to short circuit and leave him to his impulsiveness; out of the blue, he grabbed Virgil’s wrist before he pulled away completely.

Virgil blinked, confused once again by his behavior. « Uh, what’s up? »

That’s when Roman’s mind finally snapped to reality and, of course, he panicked to find the best excuse he could permit, so he slid both of his hands to cage Virgil’s own. « You’re super cold! » he noticed, lowering their hands to rest on the table.

« Yeah? It’s minus degrees outside? And I’m often anxious? »

« Oh, right. » why was he feeling more sympathetic than usual? « Then, I shall protect you from both! »

« By holding my hand? »

« By making sure your heat level is within the parameters! »

« Alright, Doc. I’ll trust you. »

That was how they ended up holding hands for the rest of the day without even realizing until they had to part.

« You sure you don’t want me to accompany you to the parking lot? »

« I’m fine, don’t mind. »

They were standing out of the cafe to exchange their goodbyes, about to head for different streets and eventually go home.

« You know, you didn’t really have to pay for me, I’m not broke. » Virgil talked in little puffs of condensed air, hands in his pockets and trying to shake off the cold stinging sensation that pierced his skin.

« Oh, soft you now, »

« Is that a fucking Hamlet quote? »

« -it is my duty to ensure your well-being. Plus I know you hate talking to cashiers, so. »

« You’re the worst, but thank you. » Virgil rolled his eyes. « I still feel like I owe you one now, though. »

Well you could just kiss me whenever you feel like, a part of Roman’s brain noted. Uhm, what the fuck is your problem? Responded the other.

« Nah, I’ll probably forget it by the next time we talk. » he admitted, ignoring the weird thoughts that were happening in his mind, a mind that needed to shut up for at least a single second.

Virgil muttered an “alright” and was about to turn around and wave him off, like he always did, when he was confronted by a simple demand.

« Uh, can I, like, hug you? »

He stopped in his tracks, considering for a moment, before a “sure” escaped his lips and he started nodding.

Roman stepped closer and wrapped his arms around his chest, content and making a little pleased sound as the other returned the hug. He wasn’t sure why he was being so uncertain that day.

« Bye, Virge! » he called out as he stepped away from his friend and began walking home.

Virgil waved in return and immediately took out his phone and earbuds: after hitting shuffle he was fast to recognize the song by the first chords.

Acceptance, huh? He had discovered their song back in middle school. Boy, did he try so hard to be edgy. Still, certain songs weren’t really that bad.

Oh no, this couldn’t be more unexpected.

He had just made to turn the corner of a mansion’s fence when a realization struck him. And he was still subtly smiling because of it.

He somehow hadn’t been aware of it in the moment, probably because of their distracting conversation.

The lyrics went by in his ears and he almost didn’t even notice the words flowing in his head as that little memory of their afternoon occupied his mind.

Could this be out of line? To say you’re the only one breaking me down like this.

Roman had been brushing his thumb against his skin for almost all the time he had been holding onto his hand earlier.

He also had hugged him a little bit tighter than how he remembered back in October. And he was very excited too, that day.

And yeah, the majority of sane people would have found the situation simply nice or just a normal friendly action. But Virgil?

Come to think of it, I’m aching.

Yeah, he was already burying his face in his hoodie. God, was that heat rushing at his cheeks? Did his body really want to make it any more obvious?

On account of my transgression, will you welcome this confession?

Oh god, oh fu-

Virgil exhaled deeply and rubbed at his face with his hands, an unwelcome warm feeling spreading in his chest, it felt like as if someone was lighting a fire in there, not caring for the emotional damage that they were about to cause. Like a firework sent up in the middle of the night only to startle you enough to wake you up in a cold sweat and thumping heart.

Keep me hanging on so contagiously.

Virgil abruptly ripped the earbuds away from his ears and stuffed everything in his pockets as he leaned on his school’s gate, staring at the parking lot in front of him. His parents had yet to arrive to pick him up.

He had enough time to calm down.

« Well, I’m fucked. »

Maybe.

✾✾✾✾

Princey: HAPPY NEW YEAR V!!

Vee: yeee here’s to another shitty one

Princey: AW COME ON try to be a bit more upbeat

Vee: YEEE HERE’S TO ANOTHER SHITTY ONE!!!!

Princey: THAT’S MORE LIKE IT COMRADE

Vee: wtf okay

Princey sent a pic

Vee: are those streamers in your hair?

Vee: and … glitter?

Princey: don’t question it it’s your turn now send me something

Vee: i don’t think that’s how it works

Princey: do iiiiiit scaredy cat

Vee: fine

Vee sent a pic

Princey: .. wait

Princey: Are you in bed?

Vee: On the couch, actually

Vee: if that’s what you’re asking yes, i’m at home

Princey: and you’re not having fun? Are you okay??

Vee: yes don’t worry

Vee: i’m by myself

Princey: WHAT

Vee: gee it’s not that weird

Princey: no it’s just i thought you were out with friends

Vee: were all busy

Vee: but it’s fine, i don’t really appreciate big and loud parties

Vee: and i jump at every single loud noise so fireworks are a big no for me

Princey: you should have told me!! i would have managed something, we could have even just chilled alone

Vee: no it’s fine really, thank you

Vee: sorry to bring you down with that

Princey: oh shush

Princey: can i call you?

Vee: that’s sweet and all but i’d feel like i’m bothering you so

Princey: what are you talking about, plus there are so many people here they won’t even realize i’m gone for a while

Vee: i don’t wanna waste your time, it’s ok

Princey: but you’re not doing that!

Princey: idk can I at least visit you for some time? I don’t want you being all alone like that

Vee: no

Vee: i mean not that i don’t want you here but i’d feel guilty, i told you

Princey: you don’t have to!!

Princey: i lo kdjsdsdjk

Vee: what-

Princey: look i care about you, you’re one of my closest friends already and i love spending time with you, so if there’s a way for me to cheer you up i will gladly accept it

Vee: that is …

Vee: the gayest thing i’ve ever read

Vee: you’re a dork

Princey: i will take all that as a compliment

Vee: okay let me just

Vee: get my dog off of me

Princey: ADORABLE DOG

Vee: yeah i love her

Vee: and afterwards you can call me alright

Princey: SCORE!!

Princey: okay

Vee: one thing though

Princey: mirror mirror on the wall what’s the question botherin y'all

Vee: … i’ll pretend i’ve never read that

Vee: are you still getting me coffee tomorrow morning like that one time

Princey: if this is a subtle “do you wanna hang out here” i’m all for it, tho expect me to come up at like 11

Vee: wow you know exactly how to make things awkward everytime

Vee: okay dog’s off, you can call

Princey: on it!

✾✾✾✾

It is widely known and said that time flies by quickly when you’re either having fun, doing nothing or during the holidays. Students had reluctantly returned to their daily routines of lessons, homework and studying, trying to frame everything in the best way, so that they had at least some time to breathe between their tasks.

January, sadly, meant that the end of the first term was approaching inexorably  and the teachers suddenly realized they needed more marks than they actually had from every student in a matter of two weeks. Everything for the initial report cards that, in the end, didn’t matter at all compared to the final one.

Thanks to February, students would have some time to breathe and re-gain strength until March, which was another wave of tests in preparation for the real monster: May.

For the last years, though, February also meant that they were going to get more information about which subjects they had to focus on the most for their final exams, which could only be linked to chaos, panic and that anxious but subtle feeling that the big moment was coming.

Thankfully, the weekend existed and with it also places for poor unfortunate souls to release stress and distract themselves from the imminent danger.

And that is how we follow two fellow individuals in distress who had decided upon spending their first free time in weeks walking around town and having a nice chat during night. At least before they ended up in a little desolated playground, their scripts in front of their faces, definitely acting more dramatically than needed.

« Do you perform the rites by night or by day? » Roman leaned on one of the street lamps, permitting him to read his line and, at the same time, he widely gestured with his free hand.

« Mostly by night; darkness conveys awe. » Virgil emphasized his second line with such an ominous tone that made his friend giggle lightly.

« Oh my, I’m thrilled. »

« Okay but you’ve got to admit it’s actually a cool phrase to say. »

« Maybe if we were serious enough, my darkling. »

After Virgil’s usual “shut up and keep reading” (which he had been using for the past fifteen minutes, mind you), Roman complied. « This is treacherous towards women, and unsound. » his voice sounded almost offended, his hand trailed over his heart in a fist.

Virgil bit back a grin at the sight. « Even during the day someone may devise what is shameful. »

« This vile quibbling settles your punishment. » the taller one took a few steps forward, pointing his finger on his friend, accusatory.

« Your ignorance and impiety toward the god will settle yours. » Virgil snarled, imitating the other in pointing fingers.

Roman gasped way more dramatically than needed and placed a hand on his chest, eyes wide with disbelief. « How bold the Bacchant is, and not unpracticed in speaking! »

His acting partner intook some breath, before stopping, narrow eyed, while he read his words.

« What, is something wrong? » Roman demanded, eyes scanning the next lines before looking up.

« This is so fucking gay. » he admitted, a smile playing on his lips as he contemplated the possibility of a different turn of events in the plot.

« Dionysus and Pentheus, but make it gayer. »

« Than it already is? That’s a challenge. »

« I have something in mind. » Virgil didn’t like the mischievous look on Roman’s face. « Keep going. »

« Tell me what I must suffer; what grievous harm will you do to me? » he hadn’t noticed how fast the other was to reach him, the previous grin was still imprinted on his lips. His pace faltered only a bit, but didn’t stop when he was a few steps from his Dionysus.

« First, I will cut off your delicate curls. »  how Roman could change his tone from a mocking one to a warm and clear one, would forever be an unsolved mystery to the world. He proceeded to raise a hand to Virgil’s hair and slowly moved his bangs to the side, a knuckle brushing his cheek afterwards.

« My locks are sacred; I am growing them for the god. » Virgil played along and started to remember the lines, a result of their persistent reading every week. Not that he could really tear off his eyes from the looming figure in front of him.

« Next, give me this thyrsos from your hands. » other steps forward and Roman had trapped him against some metal bars he wasn’t aware of.

« Take it from me yourself; this is the wand of Dionysus I am bearing. » with no warning, Roman pressed his right hand, where the actual thyrsos would have been, to the bars and locked their fingers together. He leaned in even further, making sure Virgil could notice the sly sparkle in his half-lidded eyes.

« Last, I will guard your body deep in the dungeons. » his other hand gripped the bars right next to the boy’s head, literally trapping him. He had to stay in character, after all.

The leaning was slow this time, but didn’t seem to be stopping at any moment and Virgil could swear he felt his body move without his consent.

Inches apart, and Roman’s lips twitched upward. He stopped.

Virgil snorted.

Next thing they knew they were both bursting out laughing like they had just heard the best joke their favorite comedian had ever made.

« That was- » Virgil tried, after they both collapsed to the ground, weak in their knees for too much hilarity. « That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. »

« When Pentheus and Dionysus couldn’t get any gayer. » Roman commented through an almost hysterical laughter, while part of his brain began to shut down in a ohgodwhathasjusthappenediwasabouttobutthenididntandisthisthereallife state. An everyday situation to which he was used to, of course.

« Actually, » his friend began, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. « Greek gods are very open about their sexuality. »

« Oh, yeah. Wasn’t it Zeus himself that tried to f- » Roman was instantly shushed to silence, while a pained expression grew on the other’s face.

« We don’t talk about him. »

Fair enough. They had been in comfortable silence for quite a while, sitting on the ground and enjoying the void of the night as the only sources of light showed them only certain features and details of the objects around them.

« Hey, Virge? »

The mentioned boy almost jumped at the sudden sound. « Yeah? »

Roman’s expression, fixated on something ahead of him, was somewhat between focused and in a daze.

« Did you know the teachers wanted to keep your hair growing for the play? »

« What. »

« They decided against it when they realized I actually had to cut them away during the show. »

« Why are you telling me this right now? »

« I was just thinking about … » Roman’s words lingered, as if he thought about whether or not he could disclose a secret.

About me, please say about me. Virgil shook off the bizarre thought while he waited for a response. Are you fucking kidding me? Part of his mind answered. Didn’t all those past experiences teach you anything?  Virgil found it harder to concentrate on Roman’s words now, he creased his eyebrows as if he were having a headache.

Those were in elementary school and middle school, you idiot. The other side responded. They were still valid experiences!

« Ohi. » Roman waved his hand in front of the other’s face. « Are you on this planet, sir? »

« Sadly, I still am. »

Roman rolled his eyes at that. « Dang, here I thought the aliens had gotten you. »

« You wish. »

« Anyway, I was about to get going since it’s getting pretty late even for a Saturday night. » he pulled himself on his feet, then smiled brightly and turned to his friend. « Lift home? »

« Thank god you exist. »

And Roman did really try hard to act cool and all, but he found out he couldn’t prevent his face from turning at least the weakest tint of red.

✾✾✾✾

They didn’t know how it was possible, but they made it through until April.

The last two months were a train wreck of multiple meetings between Roman’s wonderful school trip abroad, additional tests, the first exams simulations, and things getting very serious at theater club. The designs, scenes, props and costumes were all coming along neatly and, with everybody giving their all, the excitement for the play could be felt through thin air. Roman was thrilled and he thought that there wasn’t nothing else that could possibly be better than that kind of feeling.

Virgil begged to differ.

He was standing in the middle of the external part of the front of the school with a couple of other classes of his same course; they all had backpacks on their backs and a luggage held close.

Virgil was almost bouncing, unable to stay still, he started tapping his fingers on the handle of his own luggage. The anticipation was killing him, how could everybody else be so calm and casual? They were about to leave for a trip to Greece!

It was the most wanted and awaited of school trips for their course, it happened every three years and not only students were given the opportunity to confront and visit places and subjects they had studied, but also thanks to certain lovable teachers the weirdest and funniest things occurred in those trips. It was a dream come true, finally at their fingertips.

He really didn’t want to seem mean, but Virgil couldn’t stop looking at the time on his phone while one of his closest classmates trailed off talking about how energetic they felt for the trip ahead.

Until …

« Wine god! » what the f-

Virgil and his friend looked up simultaneously to be met with the vision of Roman waving one arm from the top of the external stairs and afterwards quickly running down towards them.

« I didn’t see you anywhere this morning! » he was still half-running when he spoke those words, as he reached them. He put his hands on Virgil’s shoulders.

« We didn’t really leave until now, we had a test. »

His eyes widened « What the heck? Right before a trip? »

Virgil shrugged. They had chosen it was better to do it before than afterwards.

« Well, anyway, I wanted to properly say goodbye and wish you a good travel! »

« Thank you, buddy. You really didn’t have to, aren’t you having a lesson right now? » Virgil raised one eyebrow, uncertain.

Roman showed him one of his stupidly charming grins and put his hands on his hips. « I simply asked to go to the bathroom. »

« I hate to break it to you, Roman, but this isn’t exactly the right way. »

« Oh, shut up. You know I wanted to see you before you headed off for the seven seas! »

« We’re literally traveling through the same sea, what are you tal- »

« It’s been a long day, let me have this. »

Virgil tilted his head to the side, they had been in school for only three hours, what exactly did that make it a long day?

His thoughts were broken by the thundering of one of his teachers who announced that everybody had to get ready since they were going to leave in a matter of minutes.

« Alright then. » Roman murmured with a slightly sad sigh, he quickly replaced his defeated expression with a smile, careful not to be discovered. « I’ll have to leave now. »

C'mon say something. His heart begged for mercy as Virgil looked back up at him and he saw two bright gray irises, the sun’s rays hitting them from the side just enough to make them look like literal crystals.

Anything would do, take your chance, tell him!

His eyes fell to the figure right next to them, still standing there and witnessing every one of their interactions. Well, maybe next time.

Roman leaned forwards and wrapped his arms around his friend’s shoulders in a tight embrace that was soon returned a bit more weakly around his waist. He felt like he was holding on him for dear life more than anything.

His hand trailed at the nape of his neck and stroked his hair for some instants, in which Virgil tightened his own hug and laughed silently on his shoulder.

« I’m not leaving forever, you know? The time zone is not even that different. »

« I know but I’ll be lonely! »

« We both know that’s not true. » Virgil released the other and patted his shoulder. « You’ll be fine and you can text me whenever you want when I’m not in the ferry. »

Roman let out a fake annoyed huff, but smiled anyway. « Have a safe trip, Virge. » he backed away, still facing him while waving a hand.

Then he turned to the other boy.

« Keep an eye on him for me, okay? »

« Will do! »

At this, Roman sprinted away towards his class and could only smirk wider when Virgil called him out with a “Oh shut up, Princey.”

Virgil met his friend’s all-knowing look as he turned away from the spot where he saw Roman disappear, not realizing he had a soft expression written over all of his face.

« Why are you- no. Listen, it’s not what you- »

His friend ignored him, dancing around him. « You’re doing flips, read my lips, you’re in love! » he sang, while Virgil buried his face in his hands since for some godforsaken reason when he was embarrassed he tended to have a weird smile on his face that made him completely implausible. He hated that, it only made people tease him even further.

Which was exactly what happened in this situation, even after Virgil had smacked him behind the head lightly and started to get going towards the bus station as their teachers had instructed.

[fieldfullofbangtan]

bts hc: as wizards

 you can thank sims 4 realm of magic and the fact that my hair is now ~pastel pink~ for this magical mess. it was super nostalgic researching harry potter spells and charms and now i really want to rewatch the entire harry potter series.

made it long because i feel like i’ve left yall on read for a while :p

(credit to this person on Amino that wrote an awesome post about the members and their wands/patronuses!)

Seokjin

griffindor

patronus: mink

wand: mahogany

clever and funny

he’s brave but also kinda a wuss

the ghosts just roaming about the school terrify him

plus HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THE SPIDERS OUT THERE?

truly is the eomma of all the griffindors

mostly learns spells that improve his looks and lifestyle

pimples? PFFT.

hasn’t showered in 4 days? boi still smells like a field of roses

what even is expelliarmus?

would turn himself into a flower first chance he gets

“this is my true form”

queue the rest of the members putting him in a cupboard and just leaving him there

cleans up everybody’s messes

the type of wizard that uses Lumos to get good lighting for a selfie

will prefer home cooked food over this magical crap any day

“wtf is this.”

“chocolate frogs!”

“... YOU CALL THIS FOOD?”

Namjoon

griffindor

patronus: magpie

wand: fir

intelligent and a strong leader

fir wands demand strength and power from their owners

a total klutz but he has jin that can save him

also the spell reparo comes in handy A LOT

his clumsiness becomes life threatening when magic is involved

“Incendio! OH SHIT”

“WTF WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT ME ON FIRE MAN?”

“Sorry Jin I was just trying to make you stay still!”

“THATS IMMOBULUS YOU DUMBASS”

woopsie indeed

not permitted to ride his broom anymore

last time he almost killed himself and four others

everybody loves him anyways

especially the teachers because he’s a teachers pet

it’s not his fault he’s a genius

who occasionally sets his friends on fire

potion-making will likely end badly

cut him some slack k

he has a lot on his plate

(can i just say how much i love this account and their art, please check them out)

Yoongi

slytherin

patronus: buzzard

wand: vine

sly mf

introverted but can be super talkative if he wants something

cold exterior but has a warm heart

always trying to better himself

that trait doesn’t really go hand in hand with his love for sleep

will use the bewitched sleep charm on himself

and the protego spell to keep people away from him

“hey hyung”

“im sleeping”

“but hyung-”

“Flipendo”

*jimin flies across the fkn room*

“i said im sleeping”

he’ll kiss his head sorry later don’t worry

arrives 10 minutes late on the dot to every class 

doesn’t fail them tho

secretly nerdy cuz he reads a lot

also acts tough but gets scared easy

defense against the dark arts class is the worst for him

hard shell but a true softie on the inside

Hoseok

hufflepuff

patronus: polecat 

wand: dogwood

needs to be saved

the talking paintings have it in for him

they’ll pose perfectly still until he walks past and they’ll scare the shit out of him

waves around his wand and yells ‘Riddikulus’ at anything mildly unnerving

he’s an angel tho

a true hufflepuff

knows everyone in school

could burn the school down and nobody would be mad at him

you’d think his scaredy ass wouldn’t be a prankster

and you’d be wrong

he uses his magic for good and for evil

good as in he makes everyone around him happy

evil as in sometime he’ll use immobulus on his friends so that he can cuddle the shit out of them

gets in trouble thanks to his imbecile friends

“don’t worry hobi the forbidden forest is just a myth, its totally harmless”

*3 minutes later he fkn faints from seeing a normal sized spider*

“I TRUSTED YOU JUNGKOOK”

Jimin

slytherin

patronus: dapple gray stallion

wand: willow

sneaky but sweet slytherin

the kinda person who looks super sweet and innocent

but will wreck you in a duel

he’s a shy boy

until you get him out of his shell

or get him drunk

all the girls have the hots for him

some guys as well

maybe even one or two professors

though he will deny it until his last breath

a hard core perfectionist so he won’t be satisfied until his spells and potions are absolutely perfect

the one spell he knows perfectly is the healing spell

thanks to his friends because he has to use it on them constantly

Namjoon sprained his ankle falling down the stairs?

“episkey”

Jungkook got hit in the face with the Quaffle ball?

“episkey”

Hoseok fell off his broom?

“oh for fucks sake... episkey”

everyone would be hopeless without him

and injured

Taehyung

hufflepuff

patronus: chestnut mare

wand: hazel

a wonderful... mess

super lovable 

makes everyone around him feel comfortable

doesn't shy away from his emotions

which is a great thing

until he gets angry and lights something on fire

or sad and casts a mute bubble around him so nobody can talk to him

or god forbid overly happy and energetic

he will wingardium leviosa the shit out of everyone and everything

“FLY MY FRIENDS FLY”

yoongi wont have it

“TAEHYUNG IF YOU DONT LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW I WILL KILL YOU”

care of magical creatures is his favorite class

he has a weird bond with all the animals

he even talks to them as if they talk back and weirdly enough it seems like they understand

could probably befriend a dragon

definately the one in the group that has a toad for a pet companion

jungkook made him join quidditch

looking back it was a dumb idea

now he’s obsessed and would probably risk his life just to win

passionate boy

he truly is a blessing to the people around him 

Jungkook

ravenclaw

patronus: black stallion

wand: hornbeam

smart

and athletic

and handsome

do i sense a true ravenclaw

always has to be right

super argumentative and competitive

“Im right you’re wrong shut up”

obviously undefeated at quidditch

and obviously the one who catches the golden snitch

has forced everyone except namjoon to play and it’s a mess

“Hoseok you have to get the ball through the rings not pass it to the opposite team”

“You have to actually fly around Yoongi you cant just be still”

“Ok I know I said tackling was allowed but you can’t grab onto someone elses broom Jimin”

he’s got a lot on his plate but he’s still having fun

only because he loves his hyungs

even though he’s pretty much talented at everything he’s still pretty grounded

super loyal to his friends and family

also has the dopest fkn owl

has the whole package pretty much

what hogwarts house are you? im a proud griffindor 

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[simply-sams-things]

We can try to make it work

Something I thought of a few days ago.

Reader is 13 weeks pregnant in the beginning

Spelling is not the best cuase I'm tired.

Summary:You meet the cast of Bohemian Rhapsody 6 weeks after you found out you were expecting your ex boyfriends baby. He knew but wanted nothing to do with you or the baby. So you put on a brave face and continued your daily life but with a bump. You are a make up artist for big movies and today was your first day on the Bohemian Rhapsody set. You were excited becuase its a Queen biopic which who dosent love Queen!?

****************

You walked into the tralior you parked next to which said Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy on it because thats were you were told to go. You felt a little sick but you took a bottle of ginger ale in your purse incase you got sick. You walked in to see a man with lite brown hair and a man with blond hair trying to make a conversation but failing.

"Hi I'm Y/N nice to meet you" you started off when you put your purse on the counter with your name on it.

"Hi I'm Ben. Ben Hardy" the blonde one said putting his hand out for you to shake. You shook it.

"Nice to meet you Ben" you said "and you are?" You said looking at the brown haired man.

"Joe. Uh Joe Mazzello" he replied

"Well hi Joe I guess I'm doing your make up today since your in my chair but we can't start till 8 and its 7 so we have an hour" you told him. "Ben I think Ryan will be here in about ten minutes so dont worry you're not being left out"

Ben chuckled and said he was going to go find some food and asked if anyone wanted anything the both of you said no but thanks for offering.

"So Joe where ya from" you started

"New York. You?"

"Oh I'm from ______"

"How long have you been doing makeup if you dont mind me asking"

"Well since I was small but I didnt get into it until I was in high school and after high school I went to beauty school which lead me into the film industry and now I'm here"

"How about you with acting?"

"Oh I've been doing it since I was very young and I played in some big roles but now im playing John Deacon in a Queen biopic which is amazing" he said excitingly

"You were in Jurrasic Park" you realized

"Yes yes I was!" He said laughing which caused you to giggle.

Ryan walked in at that time and said hello and set up his situation and you realised you had to set yours up. Joe watched you and you knew so you simply gave him a smile through the mirrior which cuase him to blush.

You felt it get hot in the tralior suddenly and took your sweater off showing your tiny bump and Joes eyes quickly adverted away from it as soon as he realised he was staring at it.

"Joe its okay to stare at it I dont mind" you told him knowing the look he gave it. It was one everyone gave after they saw it. Mabye it was becuase of no ring on your finger or mabye it was becuase you were only 25. Either way who knows you were used to it.

"Sorry I just umm wasnt expecting a bump"

"Nobody does but it kinda happens when you get pregnant mine just popped out a few days ago" you said with a chuckle.

"Sorry again"

"Dont be Joe its okay I dont mind you looking at it just don't stare at it to long cuase that's a bit weird" another laugh to lighten the mood. Ryan had no idea what was going on and just listened to the strange conversation unfolding in front of him. Ben, thank god, walked in and sat down and greeted Ryan. It was 7:30 so you thought it was a good idea to start Joes look but of course the second wave of nausea washed over you and Joe noticed.

"Y/N you okay?" He asked you.

"Yeah just wait a bit I'll be back in a minute" you grabbed your Ginger ale and walked outside in the still cold morning air. You walked around the trailor and sat on the curb. You were chugging the Ale and didn't notice Joe looking at you.

"Are you okay?" His question scared you and you jumped. "Sorry. Sorry didnt mean to scare you just making sure you're okay." He sat down next to you.

"Yeah no its okay I'm fine Joe go back inside I'll be there in a few minutes just needed air"

"Are you sure it looked like you were going to get sick"

"Just morning sickness thats all but it wont be until a few more weeks till its gone im fine though really" you told the man.

"Okay well I dont want to be rude and leave you so I'll stay here with you until you want to go and do my face"

You laughed. "You dont have to but thanks I'm ready to go back just needed fresh air."

You both walked in and you did your thing while only almost throwing up once. You walked to set together and for the next six weeks you talked about your families and lives and you had enough courage to tell Joe about your situation with the babys father with the rest of the cast one night at dinner.

"Wow thats just a loss for him" he told you.

"What do you mean?" You asked

"He misses out on being in the life of a child and its mom" he said

"Joe are you flirting with your makeup artist?" Rami, the man who plays Freddie Mercury, asked Joe. You had grown close to the rest of the cast quickly and helping them when their personal artist were not around.

"No I'm just saying he lost something a lot of people want to have" Joe said looking any were but your eyes. At the time of the conversation you were 19 weeks.

Gwilym, Brian Mays actor portrayal, noticed the tension and asked you a question you never thought about.

"So Y/N are going to find out the gender?"

"Well I haven't thought about it yet" And the truth was you hadn't then you realised that appointment was in three days. "Crap I have an appointment in a few days"

"Why is that a bad thing?" Lucy asked. Mary Austins look alike.

"No its not but I have nobody to come with" you said with a frown. Everybody looked at you and then Joe and then back to you and then back to Joe.

"What?" Joe asked.

Ben then spoke up.

"How about Joe and I go with you? If thats okay with you of course"

"That would be lovely Joe you listening?" You asked

"Yes I am but that's your thing I dont want to interrupt that moment"

Everyone groaned.

"Joe its alright you and Ben can come with I think it would make it more interesting to be very honest."

Two days later Ben texted the group chat saying he can't go cuase he had a date. But Joe and you knew what he was doing. He pulled a move were three people had plans but the one who invited backs out and leaves the other two too do the thing.

Joe picked you up so you didn't waste gas and energy and he wanted to talk about the whole Ben thing.

"Y/N you look lovely this morning" he said when you opened the door. You were wearing leggings and a black maternity shirt that said 'coming this June' as well as a big jacket.

"Well thank you and you look good as well" you told him. Joe was wearing jeans and a blue shirt and a jacket. Simple outfit for a normal thing he thought.

He opened the car door for you and went to the driver side and started the car and the radio was turned on full blast which Joe had forgotten about and apologized when turning it down.

You were laughing and said its okay multiple times. Joe was embarrassed.

At the appointment you had to get your blood drawn and was going to get called back right before you found out the baby's gender. You hate the thought of your blood getting drawn. It scared you to the point were you wanted to leave.

"Hey its okay but you need to do this I'm right here incase you need me" he told you.

"Can you come back with me please?"

"Of course"

"Y/N Y/L/N" a nurse called "Hi I'm nurse Gina your husband can come with you cuase we will head right to the ultrasound room after the test"

"Oh he's not my husband just a friend" you explained

"Umm okay well he can come back"

"Joe?" You motioned for him to follow

You sat in the chair and set your arm out while Gina put the blue band above your vein. Joe noticed your scared face and put his hand out for you to hold. You grabbed it and he started to distract you.

"So Y/N what do you want the gender to be?"

"Oh I dont know a boy maybe?"

"A boy would be nice you can teach him all your tricks to make people focus like you do on set"

"Yeah" you felt the needle but then it was done and you looked over and saw that she was done. You let go of Joe's hand and said sorry for crushing it.

You were taken back to the room and you got on the table and gave Joe your purse.

"Okay so I'm swole right now so dont judge my mountain" you said with a chuckle

"I would never" he said bashfully. You lifted your shirt and Joe poked it. Making you laugh.

"Okay Y/N this will be what?" Gina asked

"Cold!" Joe and you said at the same time and that caused you all to burst into a fit of giggles. You wondered how Joe knew that.

"Here we go" Gina said and put the cold gel on your belly and then the doppler. She started with the normal stuff like heart and brain and lung growth and she even did the heartbeat. Joe was amazed by that part. And then Gina took a few pictures of the baby.

"Alright are you finding out the Gender today?" She asked

"Yes we are" You replied

"So let me just go and find were the part is cuase your baby is kinda low but thats great right now cause it needs to be head down for delivery" she said while moving the device around your belly.

"Its a.....boy!"

"Really!?" You asked about to cry and then you looked at Joe who had a big smile which cuased you to cry.

"Yep! And he is very healthy so dont worry about that. I'll leave you two be" Gina said cleaning off your belly and leaving. Joe helped you get off the table and gave you a hug and kiss on the head.

"You got your boy"

"I did!" You exclaimed still crying

"Hey why you crying?"

"Oh just becuase in happy and hormonal."

"Lets go get brunch to celebrate there is a nice place down the street"

"Okay!"

A few weeks later it was the week before Christmas and you were going to visit your family at your grandparents cabin in Vermont but you had told them you were bringing your boyfriend. Problem was you didnt have one and that's how you ended up on Joe's front door step scared shitless and wanting to leave but as you were about to leave Joe opened the door.

"Y/N is what are you doing here? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" He asked pulling you inside.

"Yeah everything's good nothings wrong. you were leaving I should go" you said turning but Joe grabbed your hand.

"No whats going on? My date can wait family is first"

"Date? Joe go its fine it doesn't matter"

"Yes it does Y/N whats up?" He said pushing you to the couch and sitting down next to you.

"Well umm okay so I'm in big trouble with my family" you started "I told my family that I have a boyfriend and that I would bring him for Christmas but you see I dont have one and now I'm going to show up pregnant which they know but I told them that I was still with his father but obviously I'm not cuase he's a dick and is a no-show to anything" you said fast needing to take a breathe.

"I dont understand why you're here though" he told you

"I was going to ask if you wanted to come to my familys cabin and pretend to be my boyfriend but now I feel like an idiot so I should just go" you started to get up but Joe pulled you back down and into his lap.

"Joe I'm going to break you"

"No you won't" he said "I'll do it"

"You dont have to if you dont want to" you said

"I want to plus it would be fun a free cabin trip"

"Joe are you sure?"

"Yes I am Y/N"

"But dont you want to be with your family I'm sure you do Joe"

"To be honest I was actually going to Rami's house so this is an upgrade" he said with a chuckle.

"Okay then 'boyfriend' what are your limits?"

"What do you mean?"

"What can we do and not do, to convince my family we are a copule?"

He told you all the stuff he was willing to do such as holding hands, hugging and even a kiss on the cheek. You agreed and set your boundaries.

Four days later Joe and you took the journey all the way to Stowe, Vermont to your grandparents cabin. He drove but it took awhile cuase you had to pee a lot but it was still fun. You took pictures in every town you came upon and had lunch in a little town outside of Stowe. When you got to the cabin, your parents were already there including the rest of your family.

"Joe they will ask you a bunch of questions and I'm very sorry about that"

"Its okay, hey its okay are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes"

"Okay then lets go 'girlfriend'!" And he hopped out of the car and went to open your door. You walked up saying you would get the bags later. When you got to the door your aunt opend it and grabbed you into a big hug saying you has gotten so big since she saw her last and was kissing your face and hair. Joe was trying not to laugh. She saw Joe and brought him into the hug and said welcome to the family.

"Kathy let those children inside they are freezing!" Your mom said.

Aunt Kathy moved and let Joe and you inside. Your mom and dad knew joe and what he was doing so he was happy to have familiar faces around.

"Joe! Y/N! You made it!" Your dad said.

"Yes we did sir" Joe said

"Hopefully she wasn't to much for you!" Your mom said

"Of course not! He on the other had was a bugger!" He said pointing to your belly and laughing. You held on to his hand the whole time.

"What was my grandson doing that could be so annoying?" You mom joked "have you felt him move yet?"

"No not yet but the doc said this week we should feel him move" you said

"Well come on in you must be tired and hungry"

The rest of the day was spent talking and having many family members asking Joe his whole life story and also touching your bump and waiting to feel any movement, but your boy was stubborn and wouldn't budge.

Joe and your dad brought in the bags and took it to your room. You were in the kitchen with your mom when she asked a question.

"Do you like Joe?"

"As a friend yes" you said low incase anyone was listening

"No as boyfriend materiel silly!"

"I dont know mom, he is my best friend in a way. I feel more connected to him more then i do with others. I like him yes but I'm afraid he wont like me back mom."

"Baby he likes you too I can tell by the way he looks at you and trust me I know that look because your father gives that look to food and you know he loves his food"

"Mom!" You said laughing

"What he does!"

Later that night, after your shower you walked into the bedroom and saw Joe on the bed looking at the t.v. looking for a channel. You decided to climb in next to him and try to fall asleep but it was hard cuase it was cild in the room no matter how many blankets you had on you.

"Are you alright?" Joe asked "You're shaking the bed"

"I'm cold" you said sounding hopeless and that broke Joes heart.

"Well we could uhh...if you want to...cuddle to keep you from dying of frost bite?" He finally manged to get out

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

And before he knew it you were next to him still shivering but next to him. Your swollen belly touching his stomach and your arms pulled close to you while his arms managed to find their way around you. But he started to get annoyed cause you kept poking his stomach.

"Stop poking me"

"I'm not the baby is poking you...wait you can feel that too!" You said looking up at him

"Wait that's the baby!?" He said looking down at you. His hand then found its way onto your belly trying to feel him kick again. You then guided his hand to the right place and he said 'wow' under his breath and you smiled and put your head on his cjest and kept moving his hand wherever the baby was kicking.

"I like you too you know" he said out loud. Your heart went a million times fast becuase he heared your conversation with your mom, but then it sank cuase he probably was doing it only becuase you were a single mom.

"Joe-"

"No listen I like you in fact I love you becuase you are so strong and are raising this little guy all by yourself and the moment you walked into that trailor a few months ago I was certain you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When you took that sweater off and I saw this guy for the first time I got sad cuase I thought you were taken but when that dickwad of a ex boyfriend called you saying all those horrible things about you at Gwils birthday party I was enraged becuase how could anybody say that to you or anybody-"

He was stop by you becuase your lips were crashing against each other. He sat up more and sitting you into his lap. You leaned back from the kiss smiling.

"Joe I love you and I have since that first day" you gave him another long and passionate kiss. "You have changed my world in so many ways-" you felt a few tears run down your fave. Joe brushed his thumb over your cheek to wipe them away."-I love you so much"

"I love you to Y/N more then the world combined" he said leaning into another kiss but just then your son felt jealous and kicked you extremely hard Joe felt it and winced a little.

"Ow!" You said putting your forehead on Joe's chest and he started rubbing his hands up and down your back.

"Are you okay love?"

"Yeah just hurt a little he must feel left out I guess" you explained

Joe leaned down aa bit just above your belly and started talking to it.

"Hey little man I know you can hear me so listen up! I like your mom a lot and I was trying to kiss her before you made yourself known which is great becuase your moving but before I kiss your mom I want your permission first okay? Can I kiss your mommy?" He asked and you bursted into a fit of laughter.

"Joe!"

"What?" He asked smugly

"He is kicking like crazy now thanks a lot" you said moving off of him and looking at the clock noticing it was 10:30 at night.

"Well I should take that as a yes" he said before moving back down to cuddle you again.

"Okay mister we should go to bed tomorrow is Christmas eve and I'm tired" you said moving your head on his chest and he wrapped you back into hos embrace.

"Damn it" you whisperd

"What?"

"I have to pee."

The next morning as you got dressed you felt a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders and you leand back and looked up at your lover.

"Hi" you beamed up at him.

"Hi" he said before placing a kiss at your lips.

"Are we the real thing now?"

"I guess" he said before spinning you around to hug you.

"Well, boyfriend I'm happy becuase after last night I wanted to eat some sour patch kids and well since you get the honor of being with me this means you get to go to the store and get sour patch kids for me" you squealed patting his chest before looking for your bra and shirt for the day.

"Wait thats no fair I want some too!" He said looking at you looking through the drawrs trying to figure out were you placed your bras.

"Middle one honey" he told you

"How do you know that?"

"I watched you unpack yesterday and then you told me to remind you that you put them in there" he said after pulling his shirt over his head.

"Well I'm going to come to the store with you so i can get my candy as well"

You walked down stairs hand in hand and saw your mom cooking breakfast you then wanted to instantly help but she asked for Joe and told you to find your father. You gave Joe a look but he waved you off and you wandered around looking for your dad.

"Joe I heard you and Y/N talking last night and I couldn't be happier but I want you to know if you hurt my baby and grandbaby in anyway no one will find your body" she told him "understand?"

"Yes Ma'am" he said "I love both of them alot in fact with all my heart and soul. She has changed me and that baby boy has changed me as well. I love them to the moon and back and I could never hurt them."

"Good because they are my world Joe and you are now because you're in our family now! Now help me with this food or your girlfriend will be angry and she is a mean angry hungry person like a very mean one!" She told him pulling him into a hug. She noticed that you and your dad were listening the whole time.

"Ease-droppers!" She exclaimed letting go of Joe who turned around to see you and your dad standing there smiling.

"Mom stop threatening my love" you said going up to give Joe a hug and grab some bacon.

"I will as soon as you stop stealing the food!" She said playfully slapping your hand and you retreated it with two pieces of the bacon and handding one to Joe before walking out to the living room. Your sister was there talking to her husband and watching their three kids play. You had two nephews and a niece. The twins, Gabe and Quinn, we're 6 and Katy was 4. They adored you and when they saw you they all fought about who was going to sit next to you and on your lap.

"Hey kiddos I love you and all but nobody is sitting on my lap" you told them.

"But auntie why!?" Katy asked.

"Well your baby cousin is making it hard for anyone to sit on my lap even doggies can't sit on my lap anymore!" The three gasped.

Then Quinn got down close to your stomach and started talking.

"Hi baby cousin it's your biggest cousin Qinn I want to ask you a favor! Can you move back so I can sit on auntie's lap because I want to and I haven't in a long time love you baby cousin!" Every one in the room chuckled and you sister asked you and Joe a question about the baby.

"Have you guys got a name for him yet? because I have a few!" You looked at Joe who shrugged.

"No we haven't actually but I have thought of a few" you said looking back at her.

"Really? What are they?" Your brother-in-law asked.

"Umm well I liked the name Landon, I thought it was cute. I want a unique name cause I can tell he is going to be an interesting baby already. I also like the name Ashton" Joe watched you and listened with a passion.

"What about you Joe? Do you have any names" your sister asked Joe didn't want to admit but he thought of names for his own children in the future so he just said those ones.

"I like the name Sutton. It's a gender neutral name I've always liked." Your heart melted that was the name but you would tell that Joe later.

"Those are nice names!" Gabe said.

"Yes auntie they are but the name Katy is the best!" Katy said

"Of course it is Katy girl!" You smiled "how about we go play in the snow! So we can pass time while we wait for Grandma to finish breakfast!" You suggested

"Yay!!" Everyone said

*******

After your Christmas Eve feast also known as Chinese food, your whole family say in the living room. You were on the couch and Joe was at you legs while Katy sat on your lap. She somehow fit and because you just ate you knew that the baby would start kicking soon and he did Katy looked up at you in awe and squealed. Everyone looked at you both.

"Auntie's baby is kicking me!" She said joyfully

Everyone rushed over and felt him kick and then they sat down.

"Is it wierd?" Gabe asked

"A little but I'm used to it now"

"Alright kids time for bed because santa is coming tonight!" Your sister said

"Can auntie put us to bed?" The three said all at once rubbing their eyes.

"If she wants to" she looked at you

"Of course I will I am happy too but after you guys are out I'm going to bed because I want to know what santa brought me!" You said heading up stairs behind the three.

Once in their room you tucked the twins in their big bed and gave them a kiss on the heads before going over to Katy's bed and tucking her in.

"Can you sing us a song please?" Quinn said very sleepy sounding.

"Okay loves what song Gabe?"

"I don't" he yawnd "know"

"Well how about moon river? I sang that to all three of you when you were baby's"

"Okay" they said

"Moon river wider than a mile

Crossin' in style someday

My dream maker

Heartbreaker

Wherever you're going I'm going the same

Two drifters off to see the world

It's such a crazy world you'll see (What I see, who I become)

What I see, who I become

We're all chasin' after our end

Chasin' after our ends

Life's just around the bend, my friend

Moon river and me"

You ended the song and kissed all of their heads as they fell into a deep slumber dreaming of tomorrow. The baby was going crazy the whole time and as you walked into your room you saw Joe on the bed with a big smile on his face.

"What? Do I have something on my shirt?"

"No"

"Then why are you smiling like an idiot right now?" He laughed and motioned you to sit on the bed and you did.

"I like your voice"

"You heard that!?"

"Oh yeah and it was beautiful and sexy"

"Joe!"

"It was and it adds another reason to love you even more"

"Thank you for that compliment and I guess your not the only one who thinks so because he was going crazy the whole time!" You kissed Joe and he hummed.

"Sutton is a nice name Joe I like it"

"You do?"

"Yes I do it's a beautiful name"

"I wasn't going to mention it to you but I'm glad you like it." He kissed your head as it laid against his shoulder "Do you want it?"

"What no that's your name babe I could never take it"

"I want you to have it" he thought for a second "well him have it" he rubbed his hand over your belly.

"Are you sure because we can name him something else"

"We?"

"Well yeah because we are together I'm sorry it's to soon I shouldn't have said anything"

"No no no I like it the sound of we and that you trust me with this"

"Joey I love you stop being perfect but don't stop please" you said getting up to change into more comfortable sleep clothes which ended being Joe's shirt and some flannel pants.

"Don't stop being sexy please?" He said while you cuddled into him.

"Okay I won't as long as you're enjoying the veiw I won't!"

******* part 2 coming soon

[rvnjun]

wedding dress | kim jungwoo

Warnings: Fighting Genre: Fluff with a some Angst Word Count:10.1k A/n: This is the longest thing i've ever written. Im not even sure if its good or even makes sense. I just feel like the reader and Jungwoo didn't bond much but my friend said she really liked the story anyway so il go ahead and post it.  I might delete this later. Oh and sorry Doyoung XD Definitely spelling and grammar errors, if you spot any please let me know 

Your grip tightened on the pillow, you squeezed it like your entire life depended on it. The air seemed to be thick with tension. The longer you two went without saying another the more you felt heavy. You looked around your apartment, the place that normally felt so warm and welcoming felt foreign. It didn’t feel like your home anymore, it felt like a trap. 

“Y/n” Doyoungs stern voice snapped you out of your trance. Never once had you heard him sound so hurtful.

 “Did you even listen to a thing I said? God stop being such an idiot,” Doyoung snapped at you. He sighed, tapping his feet rapidly against the ground. Your heart clenched in pain, his words echoed in your head making you feel sick. 

“I was listening. Doyoung,, I,, I thought you loved me?” You squeaked out, afraid to look him in eyes. 

Doyoung shook his head “I did, at least I thought I did. For a while, I pretended to still be happy but I can’t keep doing this anymore. As I said, I’ll pack up my stuff and move in with a friend,” Doyoung causally talked about the breakup like it really didn’t matter to him. More than anything you started to feel your anger bubble up. 

“Did this relationship mean nothing to you? I just,, I can’t believe you! After 3 years together your breaking up with me like this relationship meant absolutely nothing to you,, and,, and the wedding? I already have my dress and it’s already planned. What am I supposed to tell everyone!” Your voice raised with every word. 

Doyoung scoffed at you “Simple, we will cancel it. You can return the dress. It’s not that big of a deal,” he didn’t answer your question instead he made your relationship out to be nothing. It started to be overbearingly painful to continue to hold back your tears. You finally let loose, the hot tears cascaded down your cheeks.Your cheek bone felt like they were throbbing. 

“Is there someone else?” You finally asked what had been on your mind all night. Doyoung seemed taken back by your words. He stared at you in surprise. His silence was physically suffocating. You started to choke on your tears, coughing a few times you waited for his reply. 

Hesitantly he nodded his head “You’re smarter than I thought you were,” he pointed out. 

“Oh god,, why? Who is it Doyoung!! Who is it!” You demanded, still in tears. You took a step forward and clung to the kitchen counter with all your might. Your knees felt like they were gonna give out. 

“I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. I’ve seriously never seen someone so beautiful. It was really refreshing. I thought back to you and I never felt the spark. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, I mean, I had just proposed. One turned into two and then eventually it became an every Thursday thing. With Jieun I feel alive,” Doyoung passionately described his secret love affair with Jieun. 

“Jieun?” You asked in reassurance. Jieun was the new intern at your work, she was a sweet and cute looking young girl. 

“Are you kidding me? She is practically a kid, Doyoung,” your entire body started to shake. Finally, your knees gave out, Doyoung took a few steps forward and caught you In his arms beige you could hit the ground. It felt nice to be in his warm embrace for the last time.

 You quickly came to your senses, pushing him away as hard as you could you yelled “Go away!! Just fucking leave, I don’t want to see your face again,” you started pushing on his chest. Doyoung grabbed your hand and looked into your red and puffy eyes 

“Calm down. I need you to tell me that you won’t tell anyone I cheated?” Doyoung wanted to make one thing clear. You bit your lip to hold back even more tears, Doyoung only cared about his image. 

“Fine but under one condition. We tell everyone that I called off the engagement, it will make me feel better.” You did your best to sound stern. If Doyoung was going to break up with you for another girl 2 months before you were going to get married you didn’t want anyone to know the truth. 

Doyoung smiled and lightly laughed “Yeah that’s perfectly fine! I’m so glad that you have a simple mind. Well if that’s it then I’m gonna grab some of my things and leave. I’ll pack up my stuff while you are at work this way we don’t have to see each other.” He patted your shoulder and left for your previously shared bedroom. 

You stared at the cold tile floor, all your happy memories with Doyoung flashed in your head. From the time when you first saw him to the time when he first asked you out. You could remember the joy of Doyoung returning your feelings. You lightly giggled when you remembered the feeling of your heart bursting in joy when you saw him on one knee. Doyoung walked out of the room, sending a message on his phone. 

He looked up at you and met your gaze “Thank you for being so understanding,” he awkwardly waved before slipping on his shoes and leaving. Like he hadn’t just ripped your heart out and stepped on it. 

“Hey Kim Dongyoung,,you’re a heartless monster,” your voice was wobbly as you were on the verge of tears once more. “I guess they do say that the hottest love has the coldest end,” your vision blurred with hot tears. “Why did you have to leave me? Couldn’t you see how much I loved you!” You screamed, grasping at your hair. Angrily you started jumping up and down, loud sobs echoing through the empty and barren feeling apartment. 

The place that was once full of love and warm was now dead and cold. “Do you know much money I spent on the wedding? Oh my god, the wedding. What am I gonna do?” You started to panic and rambled to yourself about all of the problems that you were suddenly realizing. “Fuck!” You screamed, grabbing the pillow that your fist clenched and chucked it at the wall. 

A wave of exhaustion washed over you. Your body acted before your mind did. You pushed open the bedroom door and stared at the empty king sized bed. The room still had a lingering scent of him. Glancing towards the closet you admired his clothes that were still here. Sniffling a little you pulled one of his hoodies off of the hanger. Slipping your shirt off over your head you put on his hoodie. Hugging it close to your body it felt like he was hugging you one last time. Yawning you felt another wave of exhaustion wash over you. Crawling in the bed you rested on what was normally his side. “Why did you have to leave me, Doyoung? Why?” Your body started to shake with tears. No one around to comfort you, even when you told everyone the wedding had been called off you still wouldn’t have anyone to comfort you. No one would know the truth except for Doyoung, Jieun and you. The last thing you saw before you drifted off into sleep was Doyoungs adorable bunny smile.

Rolling over to your other side you continued to lay in bed. If someone had walked in on you right now they would think they discovered a dead body. Which honestly was true, at this point you felt dead and emotionless. How could Doyoung so casually break up with you when just a year ago he was proposing? You held your mouth shut and started to scream, your body took over and you flailed around the bed like a fish out of water. 

“Asshole,” you yelled, grabbing a pillow off the end you chucked it at his side of the closet. Your knotted hair momentarily blocked your vision, reminding you that you were long overdue for a shower. For about 7 days you had done nothing but cry in bed and eat. Blindly reaching for your phone you attempted to find it. When you finally felt the hard case, you pressed the home screen and checked the time. The bright screen caused you a great deal of pain. You managed to make out that you had over 23 missed calls, all from Johnny and Yuta. A text message caught your eye “Y/n!!! We! Need! To! Talk!” from Johnny. You read, realizing that Doyoung had probably told them already. 

You tossed your phone to the side and thought back to the wretched night. How calm you had seemingly been when he left. Part of you was so upset and distraught at Doyoung for breaking up with you when you were to be married but another part of you didn't care. It felt nice to not be with him because deep down inside you knew that your feelings for Doyoung had faded the past few months, you loved him but not as much as you could have. Sighing you sent Johnny a quick text “Yeah, we do.”

“It was a mutual decision but I was the one who initiated it. We just realized that we weren’t meant for each other,” you explained to Johnny and Yuta with a fake smile. It was hard to act so bravely, you didn’t want to leave the house today but Johnny called you saying he heard from Doyoung that you guys broke up about a week ago. You had spent that whole week laying in your tear stained bed feeling sorry for yourself. 

“Are you serious? So what are you gonna do with the wedding stuff?” Yuta asked curiously. 

He scanned you up and down, trying to search you for any hint of a lie. You gave them both a smile “I decide that I’m gonna donate it all!” You took a sip of your vanilla tea and watched their reactions closely. 

“All of it? But you spent so much on it,” Johnny pointed out with his mouth agape. 

“Yeah, but I was lucky enough to be able to afford all of it. Someone girl out there is about to get married but doesn’t have the money for all the super expensive stuff. I want to give back,” you looked around you. The cafe was filled with a lot of people today. A young couple caught your eye, they looked so happy and in love.

 “Don’t believe it all. He might be cheating on you,” you yelled at them in your head. “You’re such a nice person. I’m going to be honest, I’m really shocked that you called off the wedding. Doyoung really loved you. I’m sad.” Yuta lightly laughed, not realizing the drastic pain his words shot to your heart. 

Johnny nodded his head “Did he beg for a second chance?” Johnny made the entire situation worse. 

“No. It was a mutual feeling.” Your words held no emotion behind them, you felt dead while telling them the lie you had spun for the sake of yours and Doyoungs pride. Johnny and Yuta exchanged a look before nodding. 

“Doyoung was really upset, wasn’t he? And he wanted you to tell everyone it was mutual, didn’t he?” Yuta and Johnny thought they had cracked the code. Except the only thing they cracked was your feelings. 

“As much as I wish I could stay and gossip longer I have some errands to run. So if you don’t mind I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly grabbed your things and left. You didn’t even spare them a second glance, just like Doyoung did to you. A vibration from your phone caused you to open it “Are you kidding me Y/n? Doyoung was such a good guy, how dare you call off the engagement!” Your sister texted. You started to cry as you stared at the bright screen. 

The words echoing in your head “Doyoung wasn’t as good of a guy as you all thought!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. A few passersby stared at you with wide eyes before they started to whisper amongst themselves. “Whatever,” you sent back not even caring what she thought of you at this point. “Why am I the bad guy? This isn’t what I intended,” you mumbled to yourself. “Doyoung is the real bad guy,” you added before finally arriving at the bus stop. You glanced up at the sky which was now greying. “I’ll just run some errands tomorrow. I want to sleep,” you sat down on the bench at waited for it to arrive.

 Your eyes blurred once more with burning tears. You were about to wipe with your hand them when someone held a handkerchief in front of you. Glancing up at the wonder of the hand you locked eyes with a gentle brown color. He shook his hand and glanced at the handkerchief. Most of his face was covered with a scarf but you could still make out his soft features. You slightly smiled before grabbing the handkerchief. More tears started to fall at the kindness of this stranger “thank you and I’m so sorry to bother you,” your voice broke. The stranger's eyes widened “You aren't bothering me, if you were I wouldn’t have done anything,” he pointed out. He lowered his scarf so you could hear him. You folded the handkerchief and stretched out to hand it back to him. You locked eyes with him once more and you felt your heart rate pick up speed. He gave you an adorable gummy smile and took it back.

 “I hope whatever has made you upset will pass,” he smiled, placing the handkerchief back in his pocket. “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated,” you said before a dark blue bus pulled up. You stood up and sent the kind stranger a look. He shook his head and waved goodbye “Bye-“ you waited for him to say his name. “Jungwoo,” He introduced. “Bye Jungwoo and thank you, I’m Y/n” you slowly started to enter the bus. “Bye Y/n I hope your day gets better,” he managed to say before the bus driver shut the door. The driver sent you a scary glare. You hurriedly sat down in a seat and watched Jungwoo as the bus pulled away.

You stared down at the ripped piece of paper in your hand. The address was the same as the building in front of you. Pushing open the door you looked around. After a few seconds, you found the counter. 

“Excuse me?” You asked approaching the coworkers. They both turned around to face you at the same time. You gasped a little when you locked eyes with Jungwoo. “Oh,” he said while staring at you. “How can we help you, miss?” The other one asked without noticing anything. 

You looked at his name tag before speaking up “Hello Lucas. I want to donate this dress but I wanted to make sure that it gets sold for a low price,” you shook your head and pushed aside all your embarrassment from Jungwoo watching you return your wedding dress. 

“Oh god. Are you sure? This dress looks really expensive and new?” Lucas boldly said while taking the dress from you. 

He looked it up and down and sent you another look “Yeah. Can you guys please sell it for a low price?” You asked again wanting to make sure the dress could be sold at a cheap price. 

“Uh yeah. We sure can. May you please out this form,” Lucas handed you a light blue form and a pen. 

The whole time Jungwoo never said anything which kinda scared you. You didn’t know why you cared so much what Jungwoo thought of you but you did. Jungwoo stared at you with sad looking eyes. “All it asks is why you are returning and a few other things,” Lucas continued to perfectly do his job. Jungwoo just stood there in silence. 

You quickly filled out the form and sighed it. “Well if that’s it then I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly handed Lucas the form and rushed out of the store. You felt like crying under Jungwoos intense stare. 

“Wow. I wonder why she is returning a brand new wedding dress?” Lucas said while admiring the dress. Jungwoo looked at it and sighed “I think I know why,” Jungwoo spoke, connecting the pieces together. 

Lucas made a weird sound and turned to look at his quiet coworker “Well spill the beans dude. You can’t just say that and not tell me, man!” Lucas yelled and hit Jungwoos chest in a playful manner. 

“Why else would someone be returning a brand new dress! Her wedding was probably called off for whatever reason,” Jungwoo stared at the door almost waiting for you to appear again. 

“Oh shit, you right. I wonder why?” Lucas questioned, also looking towards the door. 

“I don’t have the answer to that,” Jungwoo simply said before going back to what he was doing before you came. He did his best to focus but your image was clouding his mind. He couldn’t help but wonder, why did your wedding get called off?

It’s not like you actually wanted to go back, you just had a few more things to donate. You silently prayed that Jungwoo would be there again, or Lucas. It would be rather embarrassing see them 2 days in a row, both times you donating your old wedding stuff. You looked down at the big tote bag to make sure that you had everything you wanted. It was a bunch of simple decorations, like the table toppers and a few rief like objects. Pushing open the door you immediately looked at the counter. 

“Welcome back!” Lucas greeted, you felt your cheeks burn red at the way he greeted you. Jungwoo turned around and faced you, he gave you that adorable gummy smile that had been in your head for the past few days and waved. “Hi,” you quietly said, approaching the counter once more. 

Jungwoo had already grabbed the form and a pen for you. You reached out to grab them, your fingers over so slightly brushing against each other. Like they describe in the books and movies, you felt a spark of a foreign emotion shoot through your whole body. Both you and Jungwoo momentarily stopped what you were doing. 

It wasn't until Lucas spoke up “So what you got this time?” that you finally came to your senses. Pulling away from Jungwoo you sent Lucas a small smile. “Decorations, this should hopefully be the last time you see me,” you told them the truth. Jungwoos mouth fell open. He wanted to say something, ask for your number at least, but he knew that you recently called off a wedding and he wanted to be a gentleman. “Why did your wedding get called off?” Lucas asked without missing a beat. Jungwoos eyes widened and he turned to face Lucas with an absolutely dumbstruck look on his face. Lucas felt Jungwoos intense gaze on him and he turned to face the older boy “What?” Lucas asked, confused. 

You started to laugh at the interactions between the two. Despite the fact that they were coworkers they seemed to be really good friends. You scoffed and thought back to the old intern, Jieun. She seemed like such a sweet and innocent young girl. All of the things you did for her when she told you that she and her boyfriend broke up you let her stay at your house for 2 weeks. Were her and Doyoung lying and secretly using the opportunity to hook up? In your own home? You felt your stomach churn at the thoughts, you don't want to say it but you knew it was probably true. 

Lucas looked back at you with his doe eyes, he was clearly waiting for your response. You stopped writing and looked back up at him “We just weren't meant to be,” you simply said. You tried to keep your answer as vague as possible. It was at the point that if you told another person that “you” called off the wedding you would probably break down in tears. It was tiring to tell everyone your lie and have them immediately take Doyoungs side and yell at you for being a bitch. 

Jungwoo bit his lip, he thought for a moment and decided to speak “As long as you're happy. It isn't good to hold things back,” Jungwoo didn't realize how much his words actually applied to you. You awkwardly laughed “Yeah,, I'm getting there,” you honestly told them. Sliding the form and pen back across the counter you handed Lucas the bag and turned to leave. Jungwoo reached his hand out, like you were going to see it, and watched you leave. You stopped at the door for a split second, it was oddly weighing you down to have to leave Jungwoo once more. You shook your head and raised a hand to wave goodbye. Quickly you pushed open the door and were greeted by the sharp cold wind. You sighed and made your way to the bus stop. Jungwoos bright smile ingrained in your head.  

Dragging your feet you prepared yourself for your boss to probably fire you. You stopped in front of the small cafe and wanted to throw yourself off of a bridge. Jieun better be glad that she didn't intern here anymore, otherwise you probably would have poured coffee over her head. Straightening your shoulders you put on a smile and pushed open the glass door. The above rang and your coworkers looked at you like they had seen a  ghost.

 “You're back!” one of them beamed while running over to hug you. “I heard what happened, I'm so sorry,” they added, giving you a tighter hug. You lightly chuckled and hugged back. “Sorry that I kinda abandoned you guys, I needed a little time to recover,” you said. 

“That's reasonable, you just called off your wedding that you had been raving about for weeks,” your bosses stern voice echoed through the cafe. You felt your blood run cold but her words didn't seem to have any malicious intent to them,,, they seemed genuinely caring. 

“I know its a little odd but there was a lot going on behind the scene,” you tried to explain without telling them the truth. Your boss and coworkers simply nodded. “Well L/n you'll have a lot to make up for while you were gone. I expect you to be working extra hard, got it?” she turned her back and prepared herself to go back to the office. You nodded your head so fast you got light headed “Understood,” you jokingly saluted making your coworker laugh. You boss slightly smiled before wiping it off and returning to the office. You rushed to the break room and put on your apron and name tag. 

Returning back you got to work like you hadn't been gone for 2 weeks. The workday went by as it normally would, you were already feeling tired but you kept the smile on your face and focused on making the correct orders. The bell rang and you turned to greet the customer. “Hi welcome-” you stopped speaking and stared like a deer in the headlights. Lucas beamed once he saw you and Jungwoo scratched the back of his neck. 

“Wow Y/n this must be fate!” Lucas boosted, not realizing that you and Jungwoo had met before you two did. Jungwoo laughed at his younger friend words. He cocked his head to the side when he thought about Lucas's words, it was a little odd that you happen to meet on the street, at his work, and now at your work. “I guess so,” you joke while preparing yourself for their orders.

Your coworkers looked between you three “Hey Y/n you gonna tell me who these hotties are orrrr?” you coworker nudged and whispered in your ear. You felt a pang in your heart at her words “Uh, this is Jungwoo and Lucas, I just recently met them,” you half-assedly said. “Nice to meet you two I'm-” you but your coworker off from introducing herself and asked, “How may I take your orders?” Your co-worker didn't see anything wrong with you cutting her off and she started to laugh, thinking that you were doing it as a joke. 

Lucas gave you his big smile and glanced at the menu “Yeah, can I get a double chocolate chip frappe?” he asked. You nodded your head and punched that in, glancing at Jungwoo you blushed when you saw he was already looking at you. You both awkwardly looked away. Coughing Jungwoo started to speak “Yeah uh,, may I get ultra caramel frappe?” he gave you a nervous smile. You nodded your head and punched it in the machine “Will that be all?” you asked. They both nodded, Jungwoo swiped his card, paying for both the orders. They left to sit at a table and wait. 

You decided in that moment that you were going to make the best frappes they had ever had. You worked diligently to make sure that the drinks would taste amazing, you even added a little extra chocolate chip to Lucas’ and caramel to Jungwoos. Calling their name you smiled as they walked up to collect their drinks. “So you work here?’ Jungwoo asked while mentally cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. Lucas whipped is head to look at Jungwoo with a dumbfounded look. You giggled at Jungwoos nervous face and nodded “Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” you told him your work days in hopes that maybe he’d visit. “Really? I'll make sure to come when you're working,” Jungwoo smiled gently at you. His cheeks turned a light pink in happiness. 

Lucas looked between you two before looking like he was realizing something. “Alright Y/n, as much as Jungwoo would love to stay and talk we have to get back to work. Oh and thanks for the dinks, man, they taste amazing,” Lucas laughed at his own words and started to leave the shop. Jungwoo shot Lucas a betrayed look before waving goodbye to you. “Bye Y/n, have a wonderful work day,” Jungwoo said his goodbyes and followed Lucas out of the door. You watched him leave with a content smile. Your co-worker gave you a confused look “Oh my god Y/n don't tell me you called off the wedding because you fell for someone else?” she asked with her mouth agape. You whipped your head to her and gave her a dark stare “I didn't call off the wedding because I liked someone else, I'm not that low,” you didn't mean for your voice to come out as dark, it just did. She seemed to take the hint and went back to work while whistling. You felt bad for snapping but you weren't having any of it.

Punching the order into the cash register you told your co-worker what they wanted so they could get started on that. This day felt like it would never end. It didn't help that it started to horribly, some customer accuse you of spitting in their drink and they demanded to watch the security footage. Then there was the lady who brought her toddler in and blamed you guys when he tripped and fell. Everything seemed to be going wrong and you wanted it to end. Another customer walked in, you grumbled and prepared yourself to deal with another maniac. 

“Hi Y/n,” a soft voice said. You didn't have to look up to know who it was “Jungwoo,” you contently said while looking up to see his charming smile. “Would you like the same as the other day?” you asked. Talking with Jungwoo just seemed so natural and easy. 

He nodded his head “Oh, you remember?” Jungwoo felt a little bashful that you remembered his order. 

“Of course,” you punched it in and asked your coworker to make it. 

Jungwoo noticed your disheveled appearance, he could tell you were tired so he asked: “Has it been a long day?” 

Your shoulders slumped and you nodded your head “Yeah, I don't get why customers blame us for nothing,” Jungwoo nodded in understanding. An idea came into his head, he was just a little nervous to say it. 

Thinking to himself he pushed aside his nerves “What time do you get off?” His word caught you by surprise. 

You fiddled with your fingers “6pm,” you bit your lip and waited to see what he would say next. 

Jungwoo looked away while speaking “Would you mind if I took you out for dinner,,, you really look like you could use it,” he added at the end trying to not make it seem like a date. Even if that's what he wanted it to be. Your tummy feels all warm inside, it had been such a long time since you been out anywhere with a guy. Even towards your last few months with Doyoung you guys didn't really go anywhere or do anything special. Honestly Looking back on it all you should have seen it coming. He became so distant during your last few months and he barely kissed or hugged you.

 Deciding in your head you smiled at Jungwoo “That sounds really amazing, I'd love too.” Your words caught Jungwoo by surprise He was really preparing himself to be rejected. ‘Really?” he stuttered. 

You giggled at his cute flustered reaction “Yes really.” Your coworker handed you his drink and went back to what she was doing. Quietly eavesdropping on your conversation. 

“A,,,alright! I'll stop by when you get off and I'll take you somewhere nice, you won't regret it,” Jungwoo put his hand into a fist and gave you a determined giggle.

 “I'm sure I won't, see you later,” you waved goodbye to him. You couldn't help but feel like a teenage girl again. When you first met Doyoung you were so young and naive, you really thought he was the one for just because he was nice. However, now that you aren't together anymore and you've seen a completely different sid not him you realize that he really wasn't the one for you. You were so caught up in wanting to get married that you didn't really care who you got married too. Your coworker scoffed at the interaction. 

“You literally just broke Doyoungs heart and you're already hooking up with someone else. Y/n don't think I don't know the truth about you, Jieun told me that you kicked Doyoung out without any explanation. He showed up at her doorstep in tears, Jieun is such a nice girl, she and Doyoung are way better together than you,” she thought to herself while watching you closely. 

You quickly spun around and gave her an enthusiastic smile “Did you see that I still have it in me,” you joked while bursting into a fit of giggles. 

She pretended to laugh along with you, “I'm surprised! I really thought you were upset with your breakup, you're recovering very quickly;” her words were laced with venom. Y

ou furrowed your eyebrows “I still am really upset about the whole breakup,, but-” you couldn't exactly tell her the truth so you played around with your words “but,, as I said, Doyoung and I just weren't meant to be. The last few months of our relationship were not the best and it was a mutual agreement to call it off,” you explained, using your hands to help tell the story.

 She nodded her head and sarcastically said: “yeah,, totally.”

The sun was setting, letting this emotion-packed day come to an end. You finished wiping the counter and hardly rushed to the break room. You touched up your hair and makeup and left to go wait for Jungwoo. Exiting the breakroom you were greeted with the sight of Jungwoo adorable rocking back and forth on his heels. His hands were in his sweaters pockets and his bangs messily rested on his forehead. 

“Hi,” you quietly waved at him. Jungwoo looked p and met your eyes, he smiled. 

“Well come on, let me take you somewhere nice,” he giggled at his own awkwardly choice of words. You smiled and followed close behind him, sending one last look to your coworker. 

“Where are we going?” you asked, curiously taking you over. 

“It really isn't the nicest place and it definitely isn't impressive, it's just somehow I find relaxing,” he chuckled. 

“Do you have a jacket? Cause you might get cold,” he added while looking you up and down. 

“Oh,, no,” you rubbed your neck in embarrassment. 

Jungwoo could tell that you felt bad “That's okay! If you get cold you can borrow my jacket,” he didn't realize how much his words would affect you. Your cheeks turned red and you felt your body dance in excitement. You couldn't help but compare Jungwoo to Doyoung.

 At first, Doyoung was sweet and would offer you his jacket but towards the end, he called you an idiot for not bringing one. WIthout thinking the words came out of your mouth “You're a lot nicer than Doyoung,” once the words came out of your mouth you covered your face behind your hand. J

ungwoo cocked his head to the side and looked back at you “Was Doyoung your fiance??” he asked, seemingly unbothered but your sudden words.

 Before you could answer he smiled when a food truck came into view “Ah! I know it's not that amazing but I like to get some food from here and eat it over at that picnic bench,” he pointed to a picnic bench under a tree.

 You giggled at how excited he seemed “I think it is amazing.” You both ordered your food and waited for it to be finished. 

“He was,, we were dating for 2 years and engaged for 1,” you looked over to meet Jungwoos gaze. 

He seemed sad as he spoke “You must’ve really liked him to be in such a long relationship with him,” he pointed out. You let out a laugh in relief. The vendor handed you your food and wished you a nice day. Walking over to the bench you cracked your brain on what to say. It felt like if you told Jungwoo he would leave but something deep inside told you that it was okay to tell him. 

“I did,, he was my entire world and I was ready to give up everything for his happiness,” you felt your eyes water. 

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwoo said while quietly nibbling on his food. 

“Yeah go ahead,” you wiped the tears that were about to fall and stared at him, intently waiting for his question. 

“Why did you guys break up?” he sighed. The silence that took over you guys was kinda heavy. You started to cry, not holding back. The muscles in your face started to tremble, the wall that you had built up thanks to Doyoung came crashing down at Jungwoos gaze. He was taken aback at first but quickly pulled out his handkerchief. The same one he had when you first met. Instead of giving it to you he leaned across the table and dabbed at your tears for you. 

“Its okay, you don't have to tell me if it brings up such bad memories,” Jungwoo seemed like such a caring guy. 

“Can I tell you the truth?” you asked, needing to get everything off of your chest. 

“Of course, your secrets are safe with me,” he gave you a gentle smile and patiently waited. 

“We made a deal the night we broke up. I would tell everyone that I called off the engagement and his secret wouldn't get out. Now everyone thinks I'm some heartless bitch that broke her finances heart 2 months before their wedding. It's the other way around. He cheated on me with one of my old coworkers and he broke up with me to be with her,” you explode with all your raw emotions. Jungwoo held out his arms in response. 

You walked over to him and held him tightly. Shaking against his body your hands clutched at his jacket and you cried. He slowly rocked back and forth, rubbing warm circles on your back. It didn't take long for your tears to sain his sweatshirt but he didn't mind. You rubbed your eyes and looked up at him, linking slowly with your tear-soaked lashes. 

“You haven't told anyone the truth?” he asked in utter disbelief. 

He pulled you closer to him as you spoke “You're the first one. I never even told my own family what actually happened.” You looked up in surprise when you felt something wet fall on your head. Locking eyes with Jungwoo you noticed he was crying. 

“Oh my gosh why are you crying?” you asked while gently wiping away his tears with the pad of your thumb. 

“Because I feel so bad. Y/n I really haven't known you for a long time but you seem like such a nice and wonderful girl and it physically hurts me to see you in pain.” His words hit you like a truck, even when you were at your worst Doyoung was never this caring. 

You were deep in thought, Jungwoos warm arms stayed tightly wrapped around you. It reminded you of the first time you and Doyoung kissed. You had been at a stop picking out snacks to eat while messing around. Being so obnoxious and loud the owner had chased you two out. You can't remember how far you and Doyoung ran or why you even ran so far in the first place. All you knew was that you were having the time of your life, in that moment you had never experienced something more fun. When you finally stopped running you placed your hands on your knees and tried to catch your breath. 

Doyoung couldn't stop laughing at the entire situation, he pulled you in for a hug and rocked back and forth with you in his arms. Once I looked up Doyoung pressed his warm lips to yours and you shared your first kiss together. It was heartbreaking for you to remember. Your lungs felt like concrete had been poured into them, the harder the concrete dried the less you could breathe. 

Thinking about Doyoung, Jungwoos arms didn't feel right wrapped around you. You didn't know what you were doing. You suddenly pushed Jungwoo away from you and went run, tears cascading down your cheeks. Jungwoo called out after you but you kept running until your legs felt like giving out under you. Screaming you let your body fall to the ground, knees bursting in pain at the sudden contact. You choked on your tears, gasping for air you begged for the pain to be over, you begged to feel any emotion other than sadness for once. 

“What am I doing?? Why would Jungwoo like me? We just met and for all, I know he could turn out like Doyoung,” your anxieties spoke in your head. You let yourself believe them because you are so afraid of what would happen if you loved again. Hysterical cries that only stopped when you needed to breath could be heard by anyone that passed by. Kneeling on the cold hard ground you continued to let the sobs take over your body for a few minutes. A few people passed by and completely ignores you, they didn't seem to care about the weird girl on the street. 

Grabbing your phone you shakily dialed Johnny's number. After a few rings he picked up “Johnny can we talk? I need to tell you something,” you said, hoping to meet up with your best friend. After a few seconds of awkward silence Johnny's loud voice spoke “Y/n I'm really sorry but with I'm Doyoung right now, maybe later,” he suggested. Though his words may have suggested otherwise you couldn't feel any remorse in his words. “Forget about it,” you said, hanging up on him. 

Standing up you wiped your puffy eyes and racked your brain over what to do. Your knees felt extremely sore and your entire body was weighing you down. All you wanted was to talk to someone, but none of your friends were on your side. They had all changed their opinions of you after “you” canceled the wedding. Thinking about all the people that you thought were you close friends you mind finally landed on someone. Your dearest coworker, Kyungmin. She was one of the only people that seemed to still like you and she was happy when you told her about Jungwoo. 

Shakily pulling out your phone you scrolled through your contacts in an attempt to find her. She wasn't someone that you had really depended on, the only times you ever talked outside of work were discussing if one of you could cover each other's hours. The few times you did talk about non shift covering things you talked about how rude your boss had been. Not once did you talk about your personal life together. Despite all that you felt like you knew everything about her, working side by side with someone so many days a week you kinda had a bond. Clicking on the call button on your contact you waited for her to pick up. The store would have been closed by now and she probably would have been relaxing in her dorm. 

“Y/n?” she asked, clearly taken back by your sudden call. 

“Kyungmin can we talk??” you could tell that her voice had taken her by surprise, it was obvious that you had been crying. 

“Uhh,, in person or over the phone?” she rolled her eyes, not liking the thought of having to meet up with you. 

“I would prefer it in person but if you can then on the phone is fine,” honestly all you wanted was to be able to talk to someone and tell them what happened and everything that had been going on.

 “I don't think I can meet up right now but go ahead and tell me what's wrong. Did your date with Jungwoo go alright?” you smiled when it sounded like she was genuinely concerned. 

“Gosh, it went perfectly until I messed it up,” sighing you thought back to how happy you had felt. Inhaling a deep breath you began to explain to Kyungmin everything. Starting from the beginning with your breakup. Kyungmin nodded along and seemed like she was actually listening. Once you were done it felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. 

“Y/n,, I'm so sorry,” she said, voice cracking. You thought that she was apologizing for what happened to you so you want to speak up and tell her it was fine when she added “Doyoung and Jieun told everyone that you broke his heart and that he showed up on Jieun's door crying because you kicked him out,” KyungMin explained to you what Jieun told her. “What?!” you shoot up in shock, head spinning at the sudden movement. 

“Yeah, I believed them...maybe that's why no one has been talking to you. As for the Jungwoo thing,, I say you go find him and explain how you were feeling in that moment and why you pushed him away. He sounds like he genuinely likes you...Ill... I'll try and deal with Jieun. Once again Y/n, I am so sorry,” Kyungmin hurriedly hung up the phone. You weren't really sure if she was actually going to “deal” with Jieun like she said she would be you had no choice but to blindly trust her. 

Collecting yourself and clamp down you tried to think of where Jungwoo might be. You didn't have his number and didn't know where he lived so you were kinda screwed. “Should,, should I go to the donation store? Lucas and him seemed close so he might have gone to him to talk things out?” you thought to yourself. Biting your lip you googled the store and dialed the number It rang a few times before a scratchy voice you grew to love spoke up “Gifts that keep on Giving this is Jungwoo speaking, how may I help?” he sniffled a few times signaling to you that he had been crying. Without saying anything you hung up and started to run towards the store. 

Despite the fact that you could count the number of times you’d been to the store on your fingers, you knew how to get to it. “Kim Jungwoo!! I'm so sorry,, I like you Jungwoo!” you screamed, picking up your pace. The pedestrians around you stopped to stare, they were probably wondering why you were acting like a madman but you could care less. “I hurt your feelings and I'm so sorry! I was afraid of you getting close to me and then suddenly leaving like Doyoung did!” you screamed again. It felt rather nice to just scream and get all these bundled up emotions off your chest. “Kim Dongyoung and Lee Ji Eun!! I'm going to kill you, you cheated on me and you make me out to be the bad guy! You made all my friends and family think I was some heartless bitch who kicked you out, whatever happened to our agreement?” You screamed, stopping when the store came into view. The more you ran the smaller your lungs seemed to feel, it had been years since you ran this much. 

You pushed open the glass door so hard it smacked against the wall next to it, making a loud crashing sound. “Jung,,, Jun,, Jungwoo,” you painted, hands on your knees. “Y/n?” Jungwoo and Lucas asked at the same time. Jungwoo rushed over to our side, glancing up at Jungwoo you couldn't help but lightly smile. “I need to-” you started to say before your vision went completely black. Everything around you seemed to fade into a scarily dark void, taking you with them. “Oh shit,” Lucas yelled when you passed out. Jungwoo lunged forward, sliding on his knees he managed to catch you before you hurt yourself by hitting the floor.

”May you please get some water?’ Jungwoo asked Lucas. He picked you up in his arms and carried you to a chair in the breakroom. He immediately noticed you're already scabbed and bruised knees. “Oh, Y/n,, what did you do to yourself?” he questioned despite you being passed out. Seeing you so helpless in his arms once again made him want to burst into tears. After what felt like hours Lucas finally returned with a glass of water. Jungwoo took the cup from him and carefully parted your lips so he could pour the water. His free hand tilted your head up, helping you swallow. Your eyes closed tighter and your body started to stir.

 “Oh gosh,” you mumbled, raising a hand to your forehead. “Y/n! You're awake,” Jungwoos big dopey smile appeared on his face. You opened your eyes and hazily blinked up at the cute boy. His face was rather close to yours as he peered down at you. All the events that had led to this moment gave you a surge of confidence that would have never surprise. 

Pulling down you brought his face closer to yours and placed an intense kiss on his lips. existed in any other situation. You wrapped your arms around Jungwoos neck, catching him but Almost like they were made for each other your lips molded together perfectly, it felt like all the cliches movie kisses exploded in your stomach. It took Jungwoo a moment to process what is happening when his brain finally did his cheeks heated up redder than a cherry. He finally returned the kiss, his hands brushed some hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss even more by lightly biting your lip. Gasping heavily you pulled away for air, giggling while you took in Jungwoos disheveled appearance. You couldn't help but notice his red puffy eyes, you softly used the pad of your thumb to brush away some tear droplets that hung around his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain. I didn't mean to, I was just so scared about everything that's happening. It felt like everything was moving so fast and I couldn't help but think of Doyoung. Jungwoo these past few weeks you have done nothing but cheer me up and support me endlessly, more than Doyoung did in the entirety of our relationship. You have shown me what it's like to be loved again and I want you to know I returned the feelings,” your voice was low and airy as you were still gasping for air. 

Lucas who had been standing in the back watching this all happen gasped and crept away, back out into the shop so he didn't have to continue watching that. “Gross,” he mumbled to himself as he thought back to the intense kiss you two shared right in front of him. “Nasty,” he added while shaking his head. Jungwoo turned as he sensed his best friend leaving. Turning back to face you he began to giggle, he helped you sit up. 

“Y/n I don't know what it is about you but something just keeps pulling me in. I'll admit, it's kinda scary. I don't know what the futures hold but what I do know is that I want the future to involve you,” he said while leaning in to place a gentle and warm kiss on your partially swollen lips. “Jungwoo,” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes for the millionth time that night.Jungwoo  softly laughed, his voice cracked as he spoke:

 “Don't cry.” Despite his own words he started to cry along with you. Soon the shop was filled with your loud sobs and Lucas’ comments. The sound of your phone ringing snapped you out of your crying fest. Your hands shook as you fiddled with it. A look of confusion spread across your face when you saw who was calling, answering the phone you were even more surprised by the words that came through. 

“Johnny?” you asked recalling the last time you spoke to your best friend. 

“Is it true?” he asked in a sharp voice. 

“Is what true?” you played dumb at his words. 

“Did Doyoung really cheat on you?’ he asked feeling the urge to cry. He couldn't believe that he believed some guy he barely knew over his own best friend, he felt like a total douche. 

“Oh,, so the truth is out now,” you took a moment to look at Jungwoo before you smiled and continued. 

“Doyoung did cheat on me, he suddenly broke up with me and explained that he had spent the past few months of his life with Jieun and he loved her. I felt so embarrassed about the wedding being called off that I asked if we could have everyone believe that I was the one who called it off and that it was a mutual decision. I didn't know that he and Jieun would go around telling that lie. I'm sorry I never told you the truth,” as you spoke Jungwoo grabbed your hand caringly. 

“God Y/n,, I'm the one who should be sorry, not you. I can't believe I actually thought you broke Doyoungs heart, I should have known better. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me,, and Yuta?” he asked, voice cracking. Y

ou nodded your head even though he couldn't see you “Of course I'll forgive you. Besides don't be to saddened about Doyoung and I’s break up,, I've found someone who genuinely loves me and I could ask for more,” you said while staring into Jungwoos eyes. 

His eyes sparkled with excitement “Hey Johnny I have to go,, talk to you later,” you said while hanging up the phone. 

“I really am sorry that I ran away earlier. I couldn't get the memory of what Doyoung did out of my head and I got really scared, I thought maybe you were playing a trick on me. Then I realized that you are a genuinely nice guy and it was my own insecurities turning you into someone who you are not,, Jungwoo I,,, I think I'm in love with you?” you looked up from the floor and into his eyes once more. 

Jungwoo gulped at your words, he pulled you into his chest and rubbed your back soothingly. His scent was so intoxicating you almost didn't listen to what he had to say. 

“Y/n I know I'm in love with you. Ever since I first saw you waiting for the bus, I knew there was something special about you,” he said while holding you even tighter. Jungwoo cradled you in his arms like he was afraid of letting go. You signed into his warm embrace. 

“Since I haven't officially asked you yet. Y/n would you like to be my girlfriend?” he pulled away and peered down at you. A big smile grew on your face and you rapidly nodded your head “I would love that,, It would be an honor, you giggled and kissed Jugnoo again. Kissing him was something you knew you'd never get tired of, his lips were so magnetic and tasted like sweet nectar. 

“I uh hate to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment here and all but uh,, I need to close up,” Lucas’ loud voice boomed through the small dim lighted room. He scratched the back of his neck as he stared at the both of you. You both started to laugh at Lucas’ words. 

“Yeah sorry about that,” Jungwoo and you started to stand. 

“Y/n would you like to stay over at my place tonight?” he asked with an arm around your waist. Your heartbeat quickened at his word and you shyly nodded your head “I would love too.”

Fiddling with the flower and pearl clip in your hair you swayed side to side. Kyungmin giggled as she watched you from her place at the vanity. 

“Y/n don't worry! Everything will be fine,” she quietly encouraged you. You turned around slowly, using your hands to help you swerving in the dress. 

“Are you sure? What if he sees me and just decides to leave-” you were about to list of all the horrible things that could go wrong when Kyungmin interrupt you. 

“If you keep focussing on the ‘What if’ moments  then you won't be able to enjoy the current moments.” She stood up and approved your shaky figure, taking your hand in hers she stared deeply into your eyes. 

“Y/n Jungwoo loves you more than anything in this world and that's pretty obvious to any stranger that happens to walk past you two. He isn't going to leave, he isn't Doyoung,” she stated while trying to get it in your head. You felt your shoulders relax, you started to jump up and down in excitement. 

“Oh my gosh Kyungmin I'm getting married!” you yelled. You both started to squeal and scream, jumping in a circle together while swinging your hands back and forth.  

“My best friend is getting married!” Kyungmin screamed at the top of her lungs. The lady who was doing your makeup giggled as she stared at you both, she shook her head and remembered back to the day of her wedding. A loud knock on the door caused you both to freeze in place. Kyungmin quietly walked over and opened it up just a crack.

 “Oh, babe!” she said while opening it all the way and engulfing Lucas in a big hug. “Jungwoo is super nervous and wanted me to check up on you two,” he said while smiling down at Kyungmin.

 “I think it's clear that you are doing fine. No cold feet?” he pointed out while laughing at the scene he had just heard through the door. 

“Hey Y/n!” Lucas yelled while running up to you, careful not to step on your dress.

 “Guess what,” he said while giving you a teasing smile. Kyungmin had approached you tow, cruises as to what he was going to say. He grabbed your hand with one hand and grabbed Kyungmins with the other. Swinging your guys' arms he yelled at the top of his lungs “You're getting married!” and started to jump in a circle. All three of you giggled as you danced in a circle, rejoicing. 

“I can't believe this is happening, you cried out in joy. Lucas flopped back on the couch and stared at you with doe eyes. 

“Thank you. Jungwoo has always been a shy and timid boy until he met you. I've never seen him so glowing before,” his voice was soft, it was a drastic change form the normal Lucas you had grown to know and love. 

“Of course. You have an amazing best friend, you know,” you said while sighing. “Everyone get into positions,, its time,” one of the workers said. Kyungmin and Lucas left the room hand n hand. You pushed all your nerves aside and waited for your cue to walk down the aisle. 

With your arm wrapped with who was walking down the aisle, you took a deep breath and pushed open the door. With tears in your eyes, you scanned the crowd. Johnny and Yuta stood next to Lucas at the top as groomsmen, Kyungmin next to Johnny and Yutas girlfriends as bridesmaids. You tried to calm your beating heart as you slowly walked down the aisle. Your eyes carefully to skimmed over the crowd in fear of looking at Jungwoo. 

You gasped quietly and then beamed when your eyes landed on a familiar face. “They did come,” you thought as you smiled at Doyoung and Jieun. Despite everything that they had done to you, you invited them to your wedding. Doyoung looked you up and down with a proud smile. Breaking eye contact with Doyoung you finally looked at Jungwoo. 

Jungwoos hand was hiding his face as the stars rapidly cascaded down your cheeks. “You look stunning,” he mouthed making you lightly laugh. You wiped your own tears and carefully stood in front of him. All of your memories flashed through your head, you couldn't believe you had fallen in love with the cute boy at the bus stop who offered you his handkerchief. Your ears tuned in and out of the justice of the peace words as you stared at your handsome soon to be husband. 

Holding the paper tightly Jungwoo began saying his vows. Once he was done you ripped your tears and read yours in return. 

The justice of the peace smiled and asked: “Do you, Kim Jungwoo take Y/n as your lawfully wedded wife?” Jungwoo inhaled a deep breath and nodded “I do.” 

“Do you Y/N L/N take Jungwoo as your lawfully wedded husband?” You didn't even have to think for a month. Your heart screamed in joy as you said this destined two words, the words you thought you were going to say for Doyoung. “I do.” Everyone was ready to clap as the justice of the peace finally said. 

“I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” he took a step aside. Jungwoo reached out and pulled you into him, your body pressed flush against his. Like the first time you ever kissed, fireworks erupted in your stomach and you giggled into the kiss. 

Pulling away every clapped and cheered. Kyungmin gave Lucas a warm smile while Johnny and Yuta high-fived. Doyoung and Jieun signed and held their hands together tighter. 

You were entering a new chapter of your life, one that you were not familiar with and you were more than happy that it was Jungwoo who would write it with you. 

[jiminshoney]

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just  let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

  “You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this?  “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything  - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one.  You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.  I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

 From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC