#sorry some of my advice is contradictory

[metamatar]

hope it's okay to ask, but do you have any advice for like. internalizing that self harm and suicide aren't really helpful

obvs this is all personal, so depending on your personal beliefs and the dimensions of depression it may not apply. im sure some of this can make it worse for you personally. reader beware etc. im sure this is terribly revealing of what my problems are. but i can't ignore you.

for self harm my advice here is more harm reduction bc i think the internalisation of that not being useful to you is way more specific to why you harm and needs like. work.

for suicide, because i think fighting both takes different tactics and some of these are things that work temporarily:

relief from anguish is a feeling. you have to be alive to experience a feeling. even if you don't remember that feeling and don't feel capable of it what if you stuck around to see it? it would be transcendent.

you want out from something. think about drastic decisions you can take before killing yourself that can change things that fuck you up. drop out of school? quit your job? start living on a friends couch? break up with your partner? trans your gender?

suicide closes off any other possibility. it is a very loud scream of autonomy but it will be the last time you get to make a decision. is that truly enough autonomy for you?

you have wanted to die before. you have not wanted to die before. your feelings are complicated and contradictory. you cannot entrust your whole life to them.

be curious about your future. im serious. i've changed so much by now from the limiting self i was when i was 15 and couldn't imagine being 18 and now im beyond 25 and im curious what i'd be like at 35. bargain. to see those years. i mean maybe you'll be cured which is a fun fantasy but i don't really believe that. maybe you'll be worse. but which? and how? the wikipedia summary of your life is not the life experience. the texture of your anguish changes too.

consider survival more valuable to your self worth. it matters. you had to do it anyway but you did it so it still matters. yeah you cracked a bit but you can be proud of being alive.

now, more controversially before you kill yourself, consider making it worse. indulge self destruction some other way. do something inadvisable that's less permanent.

and now, after endorsing self harm as a means of avoiding suicide and making everyone mad. stuff i've internalised to do less self harm:

i am the only person in the world responsible for me. choose less harm. the doctors won't choose less but i will.

same stuff about making one drastic change.

just one thing make it safer? then do it safer. you can look this stuff up on forums.

pick a replacement behaviour that you think is slightly better. do it. fail it. do it again. force yourself to over indulge in it while the haze passes.

you kind of have to sit with the things that hurt you that the self harm soothes and try to change them. sorry. do it slowly and do it excessively and keep trying.

i am not the only person in the world who does this. read about it talk about it and keep it held in your heart that this is something about yourself that you feel the need to change. i like art about it.

fighting it a little is giving you a fresher newer self back. do you like them? don't you want to meet them?

relief is not contentment. wouldn't contentment be even more transcendent?

[crippleprophet]

Is it okay for people with agoraphobia to look and take some of the advice you have for housebound people on here? I'm not really great at picking up nuance so I'm worried that it'd be crossing some boundary or that it's not the intention of the tag

that’s completely okay, i appreciate your desire to be respectful even though i’m sorry you were concerned! i absolutely consider folks with agoraphobia my comrades + community members and i’d be super honored if anything i’ve shared is helpful (+ am always interested in hearing what that was if you’re comfortable!) the rest of this is not anything you need to answer your question, just thoughts i’ve been having on the subject

i haven’t had the opportunity to talk to enough homebound [due to chronic illness / “physical” reasons] people to know if this is a common experience but for me i’ve noticed that similar to chronic illness often carrying depression with it, since becoming homebound i’ve become terrified of leaving the house.

this is definitely influenced by the fact that it’s untenably painful, my photosensitivity (in the UV sense not the epilepsy sense), the ongoing pandemic, the fact that i only left the house to go to the doctor for over a year & i’m afraid of the doctors appointment itself due to medical trauma, etc etc but like. there’s also the very strong pull of habit – i’m an incredibly obsessive & ritualistic person – and what Goffman refers to as “the relief of self-isolation” for marginalized people sheltering from a hostile society, a phrase i read in undergrad 5 1/2 years ago that’s stuck with me ever since for how profoundly it resonates.

i’m not trying to say these are necessarily your or any other person with agoraphobia’s feelings & experiences, more to illustrate how the liberation of all homebound people & shut-ins & hermits is bound up together; any sanist strategy for oppressing agoraphobes can easily be leveraged against me, not least because as a severely underdiagnosed person, the medical establishment does not think there is any “legitimate” “physical” reason for me to be homebound. to respond to this oppression by arguing it’s inapplicable because i’m not crazy would be untrue + a cruel act of lateral violence.

i’ve been reading a lot of butch/femme history recently (i post about that on my main @campgender; followers age 18+ only please) & have found myself entirely reconfiguring my understanding of the queer art of isolation, the incredible ability of our ancestors to hunker down & survive under circumstances unimaginable to the average person. i absolutely don’t want to deny the deep pain – not only the aspects i experience but also the heightened isolation of people without or before internet access + the ways these circumstances / forms of oppression can foster abuse –

but my god, so many 50s butches didn’t leave their homes during daylight hours for years in order to not be hate crimed for their gender presentation, & that’s the folks who were making it to the bars. so many others – “discreet” couples who didn’t want to risk being outed by engaging in queer community; people assigned female who “passed” as men & their partners; butch sex workers & other people with identities perceived as contradictory or unacceptable – existed marginalized by both queer & normative communities.

every time i think substantially about homeboundedness i always get tracy chapman’s “subcity” stuck in my head. obviously my access to housing period is a huge position of privilege, & i’m in the most economically secure position of my adult life so far; the abjection i experience is nowhere near the scale of people in the position of the speaker of the song, who’s implied to be street homeless. but the line “people say it doesn’t exist ‘cause no one would like to admit that there is a city underground” is such a succinct & accurate depiction of living the kind of life society tries to convince itself is impossible. but there truly is a rich genealogy of homeboundedness especially in queer history.

again i hope some of my posts & such are helpful / resonant! wishing you all the best 💓💓

[hamliet]

hello hamliet, love your meta analysis and they always show me a different perspective. Would love to know your opinion on seperating the art from the artist, if it is possible and if so how to go about it?

A few principles:

Not everyone will reach the same conclusion about whether they are able to separate the artist and art, and that's okay. I can't listen to Michael Jackson. I know people who can. I do not judge them.

That said I guarantee you everyone does this separation for something, so don't throw stones.

Being able to separate it doesn't mean someone endorses an issue. I don't think people who listen to MJ are CSA apologists. Learn to separate what art resonates with people from their own personal morals.

Don't deny what the creator has done. I can't deny that JK Rowling is a toxic transphobe who seems dead set on destroying trans' peoples lives and I want her stopped. Or that Charles Dickens tried to have his wife locked up in an insane asylum to cover up his affair.

Don't fight against justice for the creator. Sorry, JK, but I hope Imane Khelif who is not even trans ends up taking you to the cleaners in court. I want her harmful rhetoric to be stopped. It'd be nice if she changed her mind and repented . Take your own advice JK about how remorse is the only way to put a torn soul back together, but it hurts terribly. But I'm not holding my breath and in the meantime transphobia needs to be stopped.

Competing needs are a thing. Sorry, I have never read a series that addresses losing a parent in the same way Harry Potter does. I have read other series' about this. I've never read one that resonates the same way. I love the series but I do acknowledge the author is actively harming people and make efforts to combat transphobia in my own life.

Be sensitive to the fact that people may feel differently. I'm not going to recommend Harry Potter to someone who is transgender or tell someone they absolutely should read it and must separate author from art. They don't have to. There are some things I can't separate.

Don't deny privilege playing a role in what you can separate and what you can't. It does, because we all have different lives and different triggers, and it's good to check privilege. But life is also really short. Live in the tension. Don't try to ignore it or deny it away.

Have those discussions that are uncomfortable.

No ethical consumption exists under capitalism. I've been mostly boycotting Nestle for... thirteen years now? But I don't think everyone who consumes Nestle is intending to say "oh well" to child slaves in Africa. These children matter just as much as trans children, don't they?

Learn everything about something and something about everything, to quote a professor I once had. Care about everything. Focus all your efforts on one or two causes. You can't save the world but you can help save something.

Acknowledge the reality that humans are contradictory. I think HP as a story has the opposite thematic message to a lot of her current rhetoric. Which isn’t to say it’s perfect.

Don’t fall prey to the stupidity of suddenly denying that art is good bc the author or singer is evil. Every time I see ppl trot out the Ursula Leguin quote on HP I lose brain cells because it is empathically clear that people taking that as some kind of prescient insight have never understood Leguin’s books nor HP nor the complexity and contradictoriness of humanity.

Which also isn’t to say it’s wrong to notice problematic elements in said works that may relate to the issue or may be unrelated. Do critique.

[amiharana]

Passing zora fan here and I personally think you are more correct when you pointed out eldest daughter curse with regards to Mipha's age. It's easy to not notice since we never see her stand next to full grown zora women (which are probably around 7-8 feet tall) but she is VERY SHORT, shorter than Link and he's also short. Since she's so small, it makes more sense for her to not be an adult. Which isn't to say you don't grow as an adult, but an adult Zora who's still growing wouldn't be as short as her.

The way she carries herself is 100% the eldest daughter curse. Her situation is extremely similar and somewhat parallels what Zelda (who was 16 just turned 17) goes through in botw. They both have societies with high expectations, and an important magical ability. The main difference between the two was that Mipha had a considerably more loving (though not perfect) environment and was able to channel her emotions, and use her power, which Zelda couldn't do till the last moment unfortunately due to her environment. This parallel is acknowledged by Mipha trying to give Zelda advice, but getting cut off just before she can speak. I also think the way Mipha handles herself is not that of an adult, but that of a teenager who is forced to be an adult.

I know it's possible my point might be countered by the one NPC named Finley who looks like a child but "is a young woman who hasn't hit her growth spurt yet" but I 100% believe that Finley is NOT in fact an adult, but a fresh teenager who is going through the "I'm practically an adult" phase. I know the game tries to say otherwise but it's some goofy and contradictory writing in my opinion.

I'm sorry if this sounded super emotionally charged realized it might T-T I'm just very autistic about the zoras and very passionate. I'm genuinely not trying to sound like an ass. Tumblr just decided to show me your post and I wanted to post my own opinion, I apologize if I bothered you

hi anon your passion is appreciated and you did not bother me, i'm happy to see that my little post inspired you enough to write me something too, so dw :3

i don't have a particularly strong opinion about mipha's age like i do with revali, so i think you and the other anon are just going to have to duke it out on the field together about it LOL. i won't debate about the correlation between height and age as a 20 year old asian afab person, but i do think if zora genetics have any similarities with hylian/human genetics, then there could be a possibility of mipha being older and still tiny. perhaps she was a late bloomer or inherited a recessive gene/condition/etc that caused her be much smaller than the rest of her peers. seeing as that king dorephan is fucking massive and we never see her mother (as far as i know, i haven't played loz in a while), the speculations we can have on the extent of zora puberty, especially regarding mipha and sidon's genetics, is pretty limited bc the game obviously doesn't focus on biology and the details are likely kept intentionally vague to encourage players to ship mipha and link etc.

i don't have anything substantial to say regarding finley LOL i agree that nintendo was a bit messy with the localization for whatever that story was supposed to be about. i do quite like your reasoning about her still being a teenager forced to act an an adult in lieu of the Eldest Daughter Curse since i have had similar experiences and caught onto that immediately as well. that parallel between her and zelda haunts me; they could have been so close, bonding over their similar circumstances but we get that all taken away by the calamity.

[mickmundy]

spy headcanon thread! just some of my personal thoughts and musings about his character :-) enjoy!

starting off by saying that spy is Absolutely Everything to me.. i've put his thread off for so long because i have SO much to say and im afraid i'll leave stuff out BUT we're going to take a Stab at it (😏) and i guess i'll just add more stuff later if i need! As Usual this is just pasted from my twitter so i'm sorry for any wonky formatting issues!

the most important thing to me about spy's character is that it is Varied and can be Contradictory. i say this about all of the mercs tbh but spy is among the Most important given his role/occupation as a spy. he IS A Spy, but he's also Just Some Guy (gender neutral).

spy is a bit dry; very sarcastic, a bit stoic, but he's definitely not heartless. i think he's very "emotionally in-tune" to those around him and prides himself on being able to read a room exceptionally well!

... but just because he knows what people might be thinking doesn't mean he's going to do anything about it! he likes being in the know but seldom ever enjoys interfering; it's best if he keeps out of the fray, or so he tells himself!

that being said, i Do think spy makes exceptions to this rule (which To Me is what makes his character Interesting!).... as we see in expiration date! he spends his "last living days" helping scout become a worthy date for miss pauling!

if he sees someone Floundering or really stuck in some kind of emotional squander, he'll pass by with a hand on the shoulder and a concise, discreet, kind word of advice in their ear and move on. no need for thanks, he's just Sharing an Observation! if you try to thank him, he'll give you a coy look and be like "for what?" but he knows. he's just letting you know you don't need to thank him <3

loves breaking balls. he'll help you if you ask him, but not before he gives you a LOT of shit for it. he'll volunteer himself to help you (even if you tell him you need his Stinking Help!) and he'll roll his eyes and say "ha! you are So helpless! i know you're glad i'm here to see this through with you uUu" LOL

but he will give you genuine insight and Surprisingly Good advice. huh, you didn't know he knew you so well! despite his job as a spy, he'll tell you to be authentic and will encourage you to listen to your instincts.

is an Observer First and an Action-taker second. prioritizes being in the know and likes being in the background (despite how good he is at being in the spotlight!). always thinks before he speaks, very calculated in everything he does!

got wiser with age. when he was younger i think he was quick to save his own skin and thought only about himself. among his first "selfless" acts were running out on scout and his mom to "protect" them, but with the wisdom of hindsight, that wasn't the smartest idea!

firmly believes in the power of respect. seems to have a positive relationship with all of his teammates (yes, even sniper, engineer and pyro lol) and scout's mom, too (regardless of how u see their relationship). tells scout that he has to earn pauling's respect to be worthy of her!

won't hesitate to stick his neck out for/work with people he appreciates. in the comics, he works with (and even prioritizes the safety of) miss pauling, helps sniper, and obviously comforts scout when he's dying in the way that Scout would want to be comforted. good job pops!

which brings me to dadspy... how i love you... i could make an entire other thread about my dadspy thoughts BUT i'll keep it "brief" here. i don't think he ever "treated scout like shit" nor do i think he was abusive to scout's mom or scout. he's just the world's most mediocre absent father to me... KDSKF

i think scout's mom knew What Spy Was and knew that at some point, he'd have to leave her. i think she's a perfectly capable woman who spy is genuinely still in love with (they have an open, long-distance relationship!) and is quite the deadly catch herself! perhaps i'll make a thread on her if that's something people would want....

i don't think she resents spy for running out and i think spy has complicated feelings about running out. he's convinced himself he did it for everyone involved's safety but in hindsight he Does feel a Bit (emphasis on Bit. it's not Earth Shatteringly Dramatic, just a little demon that sneaks up on him now and then...) guilty and tries to "make up for it" by Trying to get along with scout even if it's... not easy LOL. him turning into tom jones when scout died was to comfort scout the way Scout would want, which i think says a lot about spy's character.

however, once scout finds out the truth, i think he tells spy that he shouldn't have lied to him about it ("what kind of dumbass lies to their son on his deathbed! 🧍") and spy's like "ah... i suppose that... was also a mistake." and they smirk/smile at each other.. Road To Forgiveness begins..

also i personally love the running gag that everyone knows that spy is scout's dad (except for scout), not because i think spy would tell all/even some of the mercs but because it's SO obvious that all of them are like "i mean yeah.. doy". extra points if their knowledge Also surprises spy. "WHO TOLD YOU? HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" and the mercs are like ??? "erm... we have eyes...?" LOL

DESPITE being Stoic and Unknowable and Mysterious, he is also Quite the Doofus. one of my favorite and most important thoughts on his character. i think his authentic laugh is his snort laugh and i think that's what made scout's mom fall in love with him... :') has a great sense of humor.

loves playing pranks, causing mischief and being a Smug Cunt. will hide behind his Carefully Crafted Facade, but those who really know him (heavy, scout's mom) can see right through it! teaches scout some of his "best ones" (though not before pranking HIM with them first! it's okay though. scout's a good sport and gives him props LMAO)

a short list of spy's "best ones":

cleaning a glass door REALLY well and tricking the mercs to run into it at full force

oil on the kitchen floor so that anyone who comes running in will slam into the oven that engineer Just Fixed God Dammit! and destroy it

mentos in soda

scout and spy have the "same laugh" when they REALLY start howling. snorting, wheezing.... they sound almost identical. usually if they're laughing THAT hard, the rest of the mercs are looking at them like this >__> (covered in soda, can't get up from the ground because oil, etc)

obviously enjoys literature! language is one of his favorite things, though. loves learning about different dialects, slang, accents and learning the intricacies of grammar, too! likes studying the other mercs for this reason. the base is a fun, mixed bag for him!

the best secret keeper. contrary to popular belief, spy will NOT air your business if it's Serious. he might "let it slip" to medic that sniper sleeps with a stuffed animal, but he won't let anyone know that heavy has ptsd. he likes giving people shit, but not genuinely causing harm!

ah.. breaking balls as a love language.. this is something that i think is shared between spy, scout, and scout's mom. they LOOOOVE to give you shit, but it comes from a loving place. i think a lot of scout and spy's banter in exp date is like this:

it's not actually Insulting to either of them (spy calling scout a failure, scout telling spy to go to hell, etc) and is in fact more like a thing of Endearment. if you know people like this then you know what i'm talking about. idk how else to describe it KSDFKS

he is very girlfailure that thinks he's a girlboss but is actually a girlfailure and is coming to terms with his girlfailing. as i've said, spy isn't heartless. he knows he's made mistakes and knows his job has costed him a lot and now he's trying to reconcile with it. sometimes it's funny, sometimes its angsty!

is a total foodie and has a LOT of opinions about all kinds of cuisine! loves cooking with engineer and pyro (YES i think pyro is an INCREDIBLE chef. they only burn things because it's fun/funny! for the bit. you understand), and heavy has a perfect palette (just a personal hc of mine heh) so he always gets to tag along and taste test! <3

if spy is involved with any of the other mercs, scout's mom knows about it. they're in an open relationship and spy values her just like he'd value any of the mercs in a romantic relationship. she knows all of them and they're all very polite to her (ala like they are with miss pauling), but she quickly surprises them by being snarky and playful like spy and scout! she also doesn't hesitate to begin telling the mercs the most Humiliating Dirt on spy AND scout! HEHEHE

i don't think he'd cheat on her nor do i think he'd bother cheating on any of his partners. he's very open with communication when it comes to his interpersonal relationships (this is ironic to everyone but him because his relationship with his son is currently in shambles). he's good at it when it comes to romantic relationships though!

his love languages are, well, any and all of them! he loves being in love, he's a huge romantic and is not shy about showing it. will absolutely DROWN his partner in gifts and pretty words (that he really does mean!) and so on... perhaps to the point of it being a little overwhelming! at his partner's request, he'll dial it back... but he still loves to spoil his lovers, and THAT is something he WON'T apologize for! >:)

as i touched on earlier, has a good rapport with all of the mercs and pauling. he's patient with soldier and the other mercs hear him out about the bucket list idea (and are all Quietly Amused by how scout promptly ruins that for him. team dynamic ykwim). i think he's the closest with heavy (i'm a spoovy enjoyer), engineer, pyro, and sniper (BUT in kind of a "unique" way. perhaps i'll elaborate) but he enjoys the company of all of the other mercs as well!

is Informed about engineer's, demoman's and medic's research (though not on the levels they are of course) and likes being in the know about things going on around the base. he mostly shares enemy intelligence with these three over anyone else. they talk frequently and Love to gossip (engineer SWEARS its not gossiping but demo and medic are like "no. its gossip!" SKDFKSDF)!

will absolutely always enable you to treat yourself. scout, spy, medic and demo are the KINGS of "go on!! treat yourself!! :D" no matter what it is. if spy sees you really struggling about whether to get something, he'll slip it in with his own purchases and gift it to you later. "this one is from me, so you don't need to worry about compromise. <3"

in battle, he's a bit more sadistic than his teammates; likes making people squirm and is more than capable of getting under your skin. information extraction is part of his job and he treats it as such: Part Of The Job. he doesn't get a LOT of pleasure from hurting others, but he Does enjoy starring in a good revenge tale!

no, i do NOT think the world's most absent father cares about his 30 year old son's sex life nor do i think he's even "fiercely overprotective" of scout just in general. i think he knows scout is a grown man who has to make (and account for) any failures and fumbles he makes in his life. he'll be there with a kind word (and a few snarky ones!) when shit hits the fan, but he's not running around fighting scout's battles for him. scout loves battling too much to let him anyway! LOL

he teaches him things that Spy Himself values (like respect) because he... values it and since spy IS trying to be a bit more of a Dad to scout, it's also a reflection on him (to spy. scout doesn't care or think of it that way). insists on the value of self improvement! (something he himself didn't learn until he was Much Older... but scout doesn't need to know that!)

[protectingtulpas]

sorry if I'm being annoying because you probably already answered to a lot of questions like that but I'm very new to tulpamancy so do you have any tips for a beginner ? Thank you in advance!

Hmmmm there aint much context here but I'll give ya some tips I can think of for the most basic of beginners!

- learning to listen to ur own head is a skill in of itself, and it's an instinct you gotta develop. My host did it by learning to do stuff in our headspace before working on me, but the basic skills ya want are being able to listen to the instinctive responses of your brain, being able to focus on your internal state over a long time, and (eventually) multitasking doing something in ur head and in outerworld at the same time. We have adhd so having something to do in headspace helped a Lot. Some of my earliest memories are of choosing where to go in headspace.

- A lot of places will tell you about active forcing and how important it is to dedicate time to your tulpa, but our greatest advances personally always happened when I was being shown something in headspace or outerworld, getting some kinda stimulus or thing host thought would be interesting to me. So while yeah just paying attention to your tulpa is important too, especially in the very early stages, don't be afraid to do things with them! Give em experiences, things to base their identity off of. Your tulpa is speedrunning learning how to be a person, they can't do that in a bubble!

- When you're starting out tulpamancy, it's common to base your tulpa off of some kinda predetermined guidelines like personality traits, likes, or even a character or concept- that's how I was made, and how I'm a fictive. It also makes it easier to kickstart their creation and feel their presence faster. But be careful not to rely on that framework too much, cus it can make you paranoid later on. For a couple examples: maybe Host A starts working on Fictive Tulpa B, and she knows how he acts in-canon so well that she struggles to tell if she's actually getting responses from him or if she's just automatically judging what the character would say. In another example, Host Y has been forcing Tulpa Z with a specific set of traits, and when Z diverged and expressed an opinion contradictory to that framework, Host Y began panicking and thinking xe did something wrong. In both cases, Host A and Host Y are focusing too much on what they expect their tulpas to be, and not enough on how they are in the present and the development of their autonomy.

- You probably won't get much vocal response right away, especially if you're starting out as a singlet. You gotta watch for more subtle cues when you're just starting out, like feeling their presence, them moving their headspace form, or sharing positive or negative feelings. Sharing emotions and thoughts without actual words is pretty common in systems, and in the tulpamancy community it's called tulpish. Be on the lookout for nonverbal communication like that, because it's some of the first stuff we can do! Also, something lots of new tulpamancers report are head pressures, which are like really mild temple headaches that come with lots of forcing or the presence of your tulpa. (feels like the "expanding brain" meme irl if im being honest LOL) If you're struggling to tell if you're making any progress, try paying attention for that too.

That's about all I can think of for now! Good luck to ya anon ✨ check out my #tulpamancy advice tag for more!

[folightening]

Hi! Do you have any tips on writing Switzerland? I find due to his guarded-ness, he’s a bit difficult to characterize. Tysm! Hope you have a wonderful day and night! :)

So sorry for the wait. I forgot everything about how I write him when I read this ask and had to gather my thoughts into something resembling coherency. I'm also so bad at giving tips and advice, so this is more a listed look into his character.

Switzerland is a prideful, angry, defensive, guarded man who's actually a real sweetheart if you get him to lower those defenses. He sucks at giving comfort, can barely give advice, but he's a great listener. Privacy and personal space and being left alone are important to him but he can't ignore someone in need of help when there's something he can do about it. Generally standoffish with a don't-touch-me attitude, assertive, and unafraid to speak his mind. Unless that requires admitting to his softer side he guards like a high-security prison. How dare people know he cares, right? They might take advantage of him because people suck (except the ones he cares about). Contradictions abound with this man and he is so so fun to play with.

Putting this under a cut, it got kinda long and I'm not sure where I was going with some of it.

Switzerland and neutrality. There's a reputation. This is a bit more for writing nationverse, but it can easily be applied to human aus as well. He tries to be neutral. He refuses to get involved. He's aggressive about not wanting to be involved in their pointless fighting. If it doesn't involve him, it isn't any of his business anyway so why should he? And when applied to falling in love with another nation? He can't quite act the same about them...

He has a hard time expressing his emotions, even to Liechtenstein. This doesn't mean that he doesn't; he's quite upfront about how he feels. But if it's something softer? Emotions that would make him more vulnerable? He gets flustered, stammers, can't quite get it out. It gets caught in his throat and he wants to say it but what comes out is some odd, contradictory half admittance. Or it does come out and he quickly lessens what was said in the next breath. Once he's comfortable enough, he can say them. Quietly, softly, only for the recipient to hear because it isn't anyone else's business.

Getting the whole story is important to him. Rather than jumping to conclusions (he does) he tries to understand the situation before making any judgments (keyword: try, he can't help being judgemental).

Switzerland is also very opinionated. He speaks his mind with no regard for what others will think. This can turn into a lecture and/or pushing his personal ideals, all while telling people to have their own opinion. He's big on people having their own opinions and speaking their mind.

He helped Liechtenstein when she needed help because it was the right thing to do. He couldn't ignore her; he can't ignore people suffering in front of him. No one should suffer needlessly and if he can do something, why shouldn't he? He has a big heart; he's been hardened into hiding it after everything he's been through. The Red Cross also originated in Switzerland, if you fancy irl facts affecting your characterization.

Expressing emotions may be difficult for him, but he is so protective of those he loves. Liechtenstein is the best canon example of course. He can get... overly protective, but he also lets her do her own thing and trusts her to know what's best for her. But he's there if she needs him for any reason and he makes sure she knows that. Before he and Austria had their falling out, he seemed to be this way with him as well - fighting battles for him, carrying him on his back when Austria was too injured to walk. Yeah he scolded and yelled at him, but he was still right there for him. I imagine he'd be like this with anyone he opened up to. It's in his nature, he can't help but feel protective of the people he loves.

He likes his space and his privacy. Public displays of affection aren't his thing, and he doesn't appreciate having people coming right up in his space. Very much has a don't-touch-me attitude.

Giving comfort is not a strength of his. He never knows what to say, what to do. His attempts at gentler words come out wrong without the added weight of upsetting someone already upset. Awkward pats, maybe a loose hug depending on the person. He is so bad at it, but he can try. If they need to talk, he can listen. And if they think he can give them advice or otherwise help? He'll do his best and wonder what possessed them to come to him of all people.

For all his pride, flattery and praise fluster him. Unlike say Prussia, who would revel in it, it leaves Switzerland unsure how to respond. And it isn't just those. He flusters easily when it comes to matters of the heart, attempting to say... anything non-aggressive. Just admitting he likes something can fluster this man and it is adorable.

And of course, his habit of saving money. He can take this a bit far - even denying himself something by choosing the cheaper option. Convincing himself that he doesn't need it, so it's fine. I wonder what else he tells himself this with?

This is long, I'm out of thoughts, and I'm not entirely sure this actually answers your question... But there you go. I hope it's of some use. You have a pleasant day/night as well ❤️

[esta-elavaris]

Do you have any writing YouTubers that you watch? Or writing streams and the like, I’d love to know what your writing process is like!! 💞💞

I don't have many that come to mind, I'm sorry! When it comes to creatives on YouTube I tend to lean more towards folk like Rachel Maksy and fibre artists rather than writers - I'm kind of leery of a lot of writing YouTubers because the ones I happen across give me the impression of being more concerned with looking like writers, or telling others how to write, rather than actually writing. Like one recently who tried to act like 2.5k words was insane and unrealistic and not doable.

It's the sort of thing that just can't be taught beyond reading a lot and writing a lot, even my creative writing teachers at uni flat out admitted as much and focused on helping us be the best writers we could be in our own individual ways rather than being all "you must write for three hours per night and before you start you must set your story out into this detailed plan" etc. so I always wince when I see influencers hitting out with advice like that, and a lot of them do because they want to be the ones with ✨the answers✨ // the "right" way of doing things, when there just? Isn't one? Like seeking out advice and new methods to experiment with is all well and good, but I've been in writing groups before where folk have posted showing off the stack of 30+ writing "how to" books they'd just bought (not an exaggeration), and like? At some point you need to just write, get feedback on it, and work things out from there, rather than reading theory and using that as an excuse to avoid actually writing until you've read all 34584 books about it...most of which will give wildly contradictory advice from one to the other. I get the temptation people have to be like "but if I read all of these books before I start my story, my story will be PERFECT from the very first draft!!!" but that's just not the case.

Fic is actually amazing in that respect because you can get feedback for your general style and test out what people do and don't like about it. It got me out of my habit of stupidly heavy introspection in every single chapter when people were like "bestie, enough" during Little By Little 🤡 Not saying there aren't any good writing-focused YouTubers out there! I just haven't found many that I vibe with 💀 my favourite booktubers are Emmie Reads and throneofpages, and CarolynMarieReads (who does also discuss writing!)

I do really really like book The War of Art by Steven Pressfield in terms of other media about writing, I reread it every now and then and I buy it for every creative in my life, it's phenomenal - a lot about how we get in our own way when it comes to creative endeavours and how to not do that, and how procrastination is the enemy. He's done quite a few podcast appearances, I think, if you don't want to get the book! I know Joe Rogan himself uhhh isn't great but his podcast is actually worth watching when he has a good guest, and Steven Pressfield is among them, but he's also been on others all over YouTube if you're not willing to tolerate Joe. Steven King's memoir On Writing was also good, from what I remember of it.

Mostly I just take the stuff David Goggins says, though, and apply it to creative avenues rather than the workout-geared stuff people usually use it for, but I get that he's not for everybody. He just makes a lot of good points about chasing fear and doing stuff when you don't want to, which is a lot of what I struggle with when it comes to writing, I'm always convinced each chapter is absolute dog crap until I'm told otherwise lol.

The content I engage with on that end of things does tend to be more mindset and general, though, rather than stuff that gets into the mechanics of writing. I'm pretty lucky in that I was obsessed with reading pretty much as soon as I learned how, and writing quickly after that, so I learned a lot by reading and mimicking whatever I was enjoying at the time before I'd been at it long enough to develop my own "style". Even now I can look at stuff I write and see the influences, there are just enough of them now that it ends up being its own thing, so I don't approach things from a very technical "ah yes, here I will use free indirect discourse because this will add depth to this character's perspective" or whatever, I'm just feeling my way through based on what I know has/hasn't worked in the past.

I'm not into the whole side of things where people present it as "your story should have X amount of beats and it should follow this graph if you want to write this genre, and these three tropes", it's too scientific and it takes the joy out of it for me, personally. I go into stories with a vague idea of what I want to happen and half of the fun is working out how to get there. I usually know like two or three things that will happen in a story when I start it and the rest just happens as I write. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't! The only indicator I tend to have is how much an idea scares me. The ones where I go in confident are always boring, the ones where I'm certain I won't be able to pull it off are always grand.

The best analogy I've heard for it is that it's like walking through the dark with a flashlight - as you move forward, you can see just far enough ahead that you know where you're going in the immediate future, but you don't know what's at the end of the road.

The only thing I'd really, really recommend, beyond lots of reading and experimenting with what works for you, is daily writing. I think my stuff improved so stupidly quickly when I started that, and the hardest part of writing is actually sitting down to write rather than the writing itself, so if you write daily you take the "ugh, I really should write today" out of it, and everything is easier from there. It's not even difficult, either, I've had days where my writing was done on my phone on the bus on the way to or from somewhere. It's just about showing up.

I hope some of this massive essay was helpful 💀 I'm super flattered that you're interested in my process! 💜 Feel free to ask any questions anytime I love an excuse to inflict dissertations on people.

[candyredmusings]

Pathologic Sentence Starters.

Taken from both Pathologic Classic HD and Pathologic 2. Feel free to edit as you see fit.

So, it's all about trickery to you?

No, no... I detest trickery. But if we ourselves are to suffer deception, our hands are no longer tied.

What a silly place...

Those who favor hard logic and direct action are bound to be misguided

Only a miracle can set us free without us having to destroy something. And I can DO miracles. Just let me.

Will you please be quiet?

You're a liar and a thief.

Who is going to believe you when you keep lying to yourself?

Whatever happens, I WILL find answers, and justice will be restored.

Don't you go all bossy on me clever clogs.

This calls for the gentle hand of a surgeon.

Your gentle hands are used to killing, not giving life. You will inevitably do harm.

As for brainy, he has no regard for casualties at all.

Neither of you knows compassion.

Yes, it seems unlikely that we'll get along well.

Any choice is right as long as it's willed.

It's not even a trap... it's a grave.

I can see that. You're full of hate.

You mean you won't become a killer? But you will! Mark my word, that's exactly what will happen.

We fear everything, old boy, as mortals do, and desire everything as if we were immortal.

There is an eternal order that Fate itself has predetermined. It is due to this order that things happen the way they should, following a preordained path.

We promise according to our hopes. We perform according to our fears.

You are broken [NAME], I on the other hand am used to winning!

Sorry, I thought you brought in a baby.

You think I brought a baby? // You think I brought in a baby? // You think I brought in a baby?

Guess I'll go have a talk with [NAME]...about the Hippocratic Oath, if nothing else.

No, you can't. You were rude to me.

Give me your herbs, worm.

The real game is happening between you and me.

No, the little girl is not so simple.

You are a slave of the inevitable, while I am its mistress.

Just tell me. Could you have saved my brother?

Pain is our great ally. It reminds us we’re still alive. It drives us to action.

You may mean well, but you bring evil and destruction all the same.

Wow... that's startling! What's wrong with you?

Why do you hate me so much?

You smell of blood.

Well, I think you aren’t doomed.

Dreams are fine, but we need bread.

However, when I look at you, I get the feeling that nature is playing jokes on us.

Don't teach me to dance, pal. Been a clown all my life.

Perhaps this is my way of saving you, giving you diamonds for the price of sugar. Or I'm trying to swindle you. Or it's just a prank. Who knows? Not you.

Where shall you go now, [NAME]? Who will you look in the face?

There are fine things, old boy, that are more brilliant when unfinished, than finished too much.

She despises you, and hates everyone else.

I've loved from the moment I laid eyes on you.

All the world's a stage... sometimes a gallows stage.

People fear bloodshed only when it's their blood... and their shed.

That scum had neither heart or brains, so he has no need for his guts, either.

Cut it with the strong language immediately! 

You little prick!

What a contradictory character you are.

I wouldn't have waited for a trial and a verdict to fire a bullet at your tender heart.

I believe we're surrounded by amazing creatures -- some of them are of such magnifience that we aren't even fully aware of their presence.

True... I'm deeply miserable in general - if you're at all interested to know.

Life is a night at the bar. All the wisdom you gain, you pay for in pain.

But could I please offer you a piece of advice?

I NEED NO ADVICE!

I fear you've fallen under the [NAME]’s influence—the prickly prick that'll bury us all!

There's no way in hell I'm going to help him…or his minions.

Are my ears playing tricks on me? [NAME] is stuck?

Are my ears playing tricks on me?

This smartass won't bother with the losses at all

You both lack mercy.

For the first time, I'll have to think for myself.

I don't know if I'm good or evil. Stupid words, anyway...

I don't know if I'm good or evil. Stupid words, anyway... But I'm trying to be gentle to others and hard on myself. I know how to sympathize and not judge. I try to love whoever I touch. That's the only answer I have.

Yes, my love, you are the bravest. Now go and play. I have a lot on my plate right now.

I'm very scared of this [NAME]… I feel that they’re  a demon, a spirit of destruction and downfall!

I don't kill people. I save their lives.

I'm way more dangerous than the murderer.

People are foolish and weak. One day you're beaten to a pulp and laughed at, the next you're worshipped.

Sorry, I can't help feasting my eyes on your outfit… who was the mad tailor?

No lover's as sweet as the silence of sleep.

It's me, the player.

Tell me what your intentions are, and I'll help you.

Are you trying to borrow money from me or something?

I just wanted to make it so that people would live longer, really. And, preferably, on their own accord.

Stay where you are, demon! I don't know if I'll be able to kill you today—but you will lose a lot of blood. You are mortal too, I know it… however hard to kill you may prove!

Do you realize now that you have lost? And there's nothing to be done. It's too late.

You need more sleep, friend.

What's there about you to like? Nothing.

Do not despair, [NAME]. Do not regret a thing.

…I can't believe my ears. Someone has admitted that I am right.

I do my best to avoid morons.

You're looking for salvation in the wrong place.

God… what an idiot I was!

Let justice prevail. Mercy to the innocent; a reckoning to the guilty.

Did you kill someone with a pencil?

She speaks to the dead.

Sometimes you can find her sitting by a grave and humming a lullaby.

Sometimes girls are capable of the things that even someone as bloodthirsty as me couldn't have invented.

Will I have time to curse you before I die?

Are you trying to bewitch me?

Would you like to see me try that too—the way I do it with creatures like your little self?

He who trusts everybody asks to be deceived.

Ever considered having your tongue removed?

I don’t believe you.

I don’t like you. Actually, that’s too mild a statement. I feel an innate resentment toward you.

Your lips crack. Come, take my kiss.

God loves me.

I am the way to Heaven.

 It aches to be born.

 I am not your foe. love you. Do not push me away.

[mariequitecontrary]

This is a bit late but...

Happy Halloween! 🎃🍬🍭🍫

If you're still doing tarot readings, could I get a reading from Swerve, for me, about life advice? Thanks! :) 🍻

You wait by the bell on the counter, watching the blue wisps of light bob up and down on the ceiling until a stocky red and white mech ambles in, shaking a large cocktail shaker.

“Sorry about the wait,” he calls over to you with a shake shake shake of his shaker. “I’m just finishing up an experiment! I wanted to add a new drink to the bar menu for some of the human kiddies that come around sometimes.”

His optics brighten as he looks you up and down, a smile widening across his face. “Hey, you’re human right? Wanna test it out for me? Non-alcoholic of course, though if you’re above the humans’ legal drinking age I can totally add a shot in there for ya!”

The mech goes behind the shop counter and pulls out a human sized glass. Does he have a mini bar back behind the shop counter or something? You try to peer behind the counter as he continues to ramble on, “The name’s Swerve, by the way. I own a bar that’s connected to this shop with a portal. Was really surprised when I bought the place and found a witch stumbling in with a herd of horses after I had closed up for the night! I almost banned magic from the bar right then and there ‘till she explained herself. Now we help each other out. I occasionally man the shop and she gives me harmless potions to add to my drinks! Now…what can I get you?”

He listens to you speak and is nodding before you even finish your sentence. “’Course I can give you a reading! I may not own this shop but that witch loves to talk and talk and talk while at my bar,” Swerve complains, as he talks and talks and talks, “so I know a thing or two about tarot!”

He continues on about how he has watched a few videos online, who they were by, and what he thought about them as he shuffles and pulls three cards. “-but anyways! Let’s see what the cards want to tell you to do with your life!”

“First off, the reversed Hierophant! Don’t be afraid to break from tradition. Conformity and fitting into a social group isn’t inherently bad at all, but it can sometimes stop us from breaking free and being ourselves. Though don’t break away too far!” Swerve held up a finger, “Or else you’ll find yourself lost.”

“Next, the Four of Wands! It’s time to party!” Swerve grinned, “That’s pretty crazy actually, there’s a party happening back at the bar right now, why don’t you swing by after this and have some fun? The cards say you should.” He tapped on the card before you. “Have some fun and revel in whatever successes come your way. You deserve a good time.”

“Aaaannnddd finally! The Hermit. Kind of…contradictory to the last card but its no less important. Take some time for yourself. Relax, soak in that solitude and reflect on your current emotions and circumstances. Sometimes, the only way you can see what you need to break from, or how to get those successes to celebrate…is to look from an out of the box perspective.”

He leaned back and nudged the your forgotten drink closer to you, “So relax, have fun and don’t stick to the status quo.”

[midnightpillsnacking]

[Loulou*di S3V4 L 3-19] Hana-Doll 3rd Season THINK OF ME:DEJA VU Translation

Translation below the cut. Google Drive link | Listen to the album on Spotify

Rui: (sighs) My… true wish?

(Rui suddenly winces in pain.)

Ryoga: (runs over) Hey, you okay?

Rui: You’re… Kagekawa Ryoga from Anthos*.

Ryoga: Looks like we meet again, Rui. But that aside, is there something wrong with your chest?

Rui: Why do you ask?

Ryoga: What do you mean ‘why’? You’re clutching it like it hurts and you’re shaking like a leaf. Maybe you should go get checked by the medical–

Rui: That won’t be necessary.

Ryoga: Really? Well, if you insist, then I won’t force you. By yourself today?

Rui: Ageha is upstairs.

Ryoga: Ah, with President Amagiri? Speaking of which, last time Ageha went to see the president by himself too. Are you always staying behind to watch the house?

Rui: Watching the house…?

Ryoga: !! My bad, that was a joke.

Rui: It’s nothing. I was just thinking about things.

Ryoga: Thinking about things, huh?

Rui: Hm?

Ryoga: Rui, is it okay if we chat for a bit?

Rui: If it’s until Ageha returns.

Ryoga: You really do cherish Ageha-san, don’t you? I’m the same, too. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect what I cherish. That’s why, lately all I’ve been thinking of is stupid things. Thanks to a bunch of people, Anthos* is now on the fast track, and we’re getting lots of jobs here and there. We’ve managed to put ourselves out there and be seen, and things look like they’ll go swimmingly at this rate… is what I thought, anyway.

Rui: Is that not how it is?

Ryoga: The change in environment is so drastic, it’s like my blood can’t catch up with my limbs. It’s a weird, uneasy feeling, but it seems like Loulou*di  have already crossed that bridge. It made me think that you guys really are amazing seniors.

Rui: Is that so?

Ryoga: (laughs) What a typical response. I’m not saying those things because of being polite.

Rui: Then, what do you mean?

Ryoga: I mean that there are definitely more guys out there who couldn’t keep up and just threw in the towel than I thought. Anthos* has got to keep aiming forward so we don’t end up like that. That’s why… I was thinking that it’d be nice if I could get a little advice from a senior.

Rui: Advice?

Ryoga: A little while back, Setsuna said he got some advice from Ageha-san.

Rui: Yashiro Setsuna?

Ryoga: He wouldn’t tell me everything. ‘The enemy is not always lying in wait outside’--that’s what Setsuna said Ageha-san told him. Rui, do you know what that means?

Rui: The advice came from Ageha. I wouldn’t know the details.

Ryoga: Really?

Rui: Do you think I’m lying?

Ryoga: Not taking you for a liar, but you’re always close to Ageha, so I thought you might have some idea.

Rui: Did you think that simply by being by his side, I would be able to read his mind? Are you able to understand every one of Yuuki Mahiro’s thoughts?

Ryoga: … Ah, sorry. What I said was wrong.

Rui: It’s alright. I understand that what you said carelessly wasn’t something so flippant. There was a meaning to your words.

Ryoga: …Eh? H-hey, what do you mean that…?

Rui: A few words will become your will and turn into an action of impulse…

Ryoga: Rui? Sorry, did you catch what I said?

Rui: I don’t know Ageha’s true intentions of telling Yashiro Setsuna what he said. As for myself, I don’t think I can think of a piece of advice to give you.

Ryoga: O-oh…

Rui: Kagekawa Ryoga, do you have something you wish for?

Ryoga: …W-wish?

Rui: I don’t know myself. As Ageha said before, what exactly frightens you?

Ryoga: !! What are you–

Rui: This has nothing to do with me. This is about what’s on the other side of the wall that separates us, what’s beyond the boundary line between. But there are things that I am aware of. In this world, there exists things that are contradictory.

Ryoga: Contradictory?

Rui: The change you speak of is something framed by your own interpretation, but it’s not something that captures the truth.

Ryoga: What do you mean…?

Rui: Just like how the things are lost in translation, or how your interpretation of god changes depending on your belief, you can spend your whole life side by side, but you will still never become one and the same. Not as one existence.

Ryoga: Hold on, what are we talking about now?

Rui: The flower is delicate.

Ryoga: By flower, you mean… the ones inside us?

Rui: Kagekawa Ryoga. If you’re not prepared to rot together with Yuuki Mahiro, then wash your hands clean while you still can. The influence of the flower inside you is starting to show. Before that happens…

Ryoga: …Why? Why do you speak Hiro’s name? Hey, Rui. Did you do something to him?!

Rui: !!

Ryoga: S-sorry.

Rui: I’m not aware of anything. Just forget what I said.

Ryoga: Could it be that… you’re worried about me?

Rui: Sympathy…?

Ryoga: You said something?

Rui: No, it’s nothing. Let’s meet again at the music awards, in our best form. That is what Ageha hopes for. Which is why I decided to talk to you.

Ryoga: That wasn’t a warning to me?

Rui: Everything is for Ageha’s sake.

Ryoga: Rui, why do you hold onto Ageha-san that much?

Rui: Hold onto?

Ryoga: I believe that Ageha-san is someone amazing. But to you, his existence is so much more than that, isn’t it?

Rui: I…

(Both Rui and Ryoga receive notifications)

Rui: It seems we are being called.

Ryoga: Yeah. Looks like I’ve got to answer. I think we’ve got to call it here today.

Rui: So it seems.

Ryoga: I’m glad I got to talk to you. Then, until we meet again.

Rui: Likewise.

Ryoga: Rui. About our conversation… Whatever comes our way, I don’t intend to let go of Hiro’s hand. So that we’ll never lose each other ever again. That day, we made a promise to search for the truth together. Talking with you made me remember something important. Thanks for helping me make up my mind on my resolve.

(Ryoga leaves.)

Rui: I, too… if I have emotions for him, for Ageha… To let a man break and scatter while staying ignorant would be regrettable.

[kittycomrad]

hi! i recently started looking into radfem/“terf” ideology after years of being fed the “kill all terfs” rhetoric, and i feel like i’m understanding the point of all of this more than i ever thought i would. but i’m a little scared of being ostracized from my peers because of it. i’m worried about people lashing out, and i don’t like that i feel the need to hide how i feel about feminism. i’m not sure where i’m going with this really, i think i just want to safely admit this somewhere or maybe get some advice on how to get over the fear and guilt? idk. sorry for dumping this here! i just don’t know where else to go.

I totally get what you mean lol. When I told my friends about my change in positions a few of them were kinda surprised and were ready to get weirded out. I had to quickly explain how the whole concept is lowkey contradictory and is misogynistic and homophobic. Depends on how deep your peers are into the ideology tbh. You can drop subtle hints and use different choice of words. I remember i used to be in a tq plus discord chat room and i vented about how afab people and trans women have a lot of differences and how it will be dangerous and reductive to put them in the same category. Some guy started talking about how it seemed transphobic but i had to stand my ground while using their terminologies. I left the server after some time without the full mask off obvi. Stand your ground where you can and don't try to unnecessarily start shit (specially with the males, they're the most entitled and coddled out of them).

[gretahayes]

Lmao I did not expect you to be starting high school! Idk if it's a tendency to just assume everyone's my age or if u seem older. But advice for HS! Biggest issues I had were a) being able to skate by w/o studying too much and struggling in uni now that there's less hw and quizzes keeping me on track, and b) kinda contradictory but I worried too much ab my academics! I tried to take as many advanced classes as I could and felt awful if I got less than 90% on smt, and it led to some serious mental health problems and burnout (another reason why I'm struggling in uni sigh). So overall my suggestion is to focus on building good habits vs trying to get the best grades possible, and making sure ur habits are balanced with things like socialization, hobbies, extra-curriculars, volunteering, etc etc so ur not just focusing on school. Looking back my other problem in school was I just didn't try to become closer friends with people even when I liked them, cuz I already had a little lunch-eating group just like they did and I was shy and I had a mentality of "oh we prob won't even stay close after hs" which may have been true but I never got the chance to figure it out and I missed out on having proper connections with people. So, ya know, go out there and meet new people, make new friends, even if it ends up being only for a week or a few years. Idk obvs this is based on my own experience (and now I feel like I unloaded a bit on you, sorry about that) so take and leave the advice as you please! Hope it helps though 🩷

You people are really setting me up for failure with all this "focus on your mental health" shit like I would rather excel I think...but I'll keep it in mind!

[x0401x]

I think I've said this before, but I always reply to asks. No matter how long it takes. In this case, it took me a year. I can barely believe it. The way that grad school and living in Tokyo completely sucked away my free time is surreal. To be honest, I was expecting this, but I was hoping I'd be able to get back on track sooner. Words can't possibly express how sorry I am for the truly ridiculous delay.

Okay, now without further ado...

So, episode 11. By this point, it’s clear that the anime is trying to convince us that Eisuke is single-handedly guiding Tsujimine to the top. This unintentionally disregards the other members of the team and relegates them as nothing more than his less important supporters. That’s the same kind of narrative suicide that season 1 committed, except with Seiya instead. In S1, Seiya is the only character with a personality, basically because his canon personality is butchered and he’s turned into an amalgamation of other characters’ good traits, plus some weird yandere shit that the screenplay pushed onto him. The narrative makes him a participant of just about everything that happens, while dimming down everyone else, even the very protagonist of the story. It’s clear that KyoAni (read that as director Yamamura) couldn’t handle giving the spotlight to one character at a time and making them as rich and colorful as the original work, so they decided to invest all of the good stuff into just one character and make the fandom obsess with him. Which failed miserably, but we all already know how that went.

In the case of S2, this pattern is a little worse, even. The other boys of Tsujimine are barely there, and whenever they’re there, it’s to make Eisuke’s character shine through, never their own. And when it comes to team performance, almost like the team consists of just Eisuke, as if they’re part of the team only because there aren’t five of him. He’s basically a genius who does everything - he’s an individual archer, a team competitor, the team leader, the club counselor in place of their teacher who knows fuck-all about kyudo, and a coach, since their team has none. And he excels at all of that, which is not only unrealistic but also contradictory. It’s unrealistic because, like all Zen types of martial arts, kyudo takes experience and experience inevitably requires time. There’s no way a high school kid would be on the same level of knowledge and skill as certified practitioners and be able to look after four people while simultaneously doing his own practice. This is literally unheard of in the history of kyudo. And it’s contradictory because it was established in earlier episodes that Eisuke was taking advice from his uncle for coaching Tsujimine, so how come the story just forgot about this and started branding Eisuke as the one and only patron saint of his team?

In the book, Eisuke manages the team coaching by filming practice, showing it to Shigeru and getting precise advice every day, which he follows by heart. The team coach is actually Shigeru, not him. He’s also not the team counselor, and although he’s the most proactive member, the thing about Tsujimine is that they’re not a conventional team. All the boys have very outstanding personalities - one could even call them self-centered -, to an extent where it doesn’t seem like there’s an actual leader in the team. Everyone is just doing their business and none of them are particularly close to each other, but when it comes to kyudo, they all trust one another and nobody tries to meddle with each other’s way of doing things. Against what appearances might suggest, harmony comes naturally to them. This is something very unique of Tsujimine and it’s sad to see this dynamics ruined.

Other than that, this is one more example of the anime treating kyudo like a sport. Everyone keeps fawning over Eisuke, even people from other teams, and telling him that he should be proud of himself for his achievements. I could argue about how unnatural it feels to see teenagers behaving like that all the fucking time, but I don’t think I have to. And it’s all the more ridiculous when it comes to anything Zen-related. Being proud isn’t the point. Achievements aren’t the point. There’s no point but enlightenment. KyoAni seemed to be making an extra effort to show respect towards kyudo this time around in the first episodes, so I really wish they could’ve nailed this, but it’s hard to take the story seriously when it fails to understand the most basic thing about its core theme. So many things in this anime are such a blatant “don’t worry about it” that I have lost count, especially about the fundamental elements of kyudo.

Most important, though, is that this “Eisuke is God” thing is a disservice to Minato as a character. And I’m not even talking about the fact that Eisuke, the character who was supposed to be the “bad guy” of this arc, is getting more background story and emotional investment from the narrative than the protagonist himself. I mean the fact that he’s being given a role that was supposed to belong to Minato in the near future. Yes, I’m talking about his career plan to become a Shinto priest and a kyudo coach. It was set up from the very beginning in the novel. Throughout the whole story, we get glimpses of him already being on the path for that by being the kind of person who inspires others to shine their own colors. He gives prep talks to Ryouhei and Kaito, acknowledges Nanao’s efforts and lets Seiya indulge in his patience and forgiveness. He also gives people advice, like with Manji when he was about to get target panic. A lot of people seemed to interpret this as Minato being savage, but it was a candid warning. In volume 3, though, we get to see Minato actually do something very close to coaching. The way he encourages Hikaru in the most non-obvious, roundabout and abstract manner possible is exactly how kyudo coaching should be. He never tells Hikaru to do anything, just says things that might sound vague, but actually mean to stir Hikaru’s spirit. The pacing of this scene is kind of a mess and its contents might be confusing for some (as Zen always is, to be fair), but what Minato does in it is honestly beautiful. He doesn’t even seem to realize what he’s doing; he just does it (very Zen of him, as usual) and it hits home. It’s a glaring sign from the author that he’s a natural at this (again, can’t get more Zen than that).

All of this careful build-up is wasted in the anime, given that Minato’s “natural talent for realizing people’s needs and spilling pearls of wisdom onto them” is now Eisuke’s in the show. I might sound harsh here but I gotta spill the beans on this particular load of bullshit: the anime lowkey hates its own protagonist. The one thing I thought KyoAni could’ve learned from last time was to stop giving other characters’ roles and personalities to whoever the director decided to pick as fandom darling for the season, but I guess this was too much to ask once again. Still, as you guys know, my motto for S2 is “disappointed but not surprised”. I do realize everything that’s wrong with it and don’t like it, yet I maintain what I’ve been saying since the beginning: I’m taking what I can get. It’s a miracle that a sequel even exists, anyway.

More bullshit ensues as Eisuke is confronted by Seiya by the toilet. It’s kind of amusing to see the anime finally try to portray Seiya as his own person in this season, only to do a full backtrack and put him again in the one-dimensional condition of “caring about nothing but Minato”. It’s also kind of weird to see Eisuke going through the trouble of attempting to pick a fight, especially when it concerns Seiya, whom he has no reason to hold contempt for. He resents Minato and Shuu because Saionji took them in as disciples when he (she, in the anime’s case) wouldn’t take him. What’s his reason to be a prick to Seiya, even when unprompted? It’s never explained or implied. The scene itself apparently has no reason to be there other than to imply that Eisuke attacks people because he’s putting up a front, as shown from the toilet mirrors and the composition of the shots. In putting up a front, he’s keeping himself from moving forward, which thankfully aligns with canon.

Then the dialogue shoots itself on the foot by suggesting that Seiya is moving forward because he sticks to his weird obsession with being Minato’s guardian.

I could talk about how obsession is a negative point for anyone who practices any Zen martial art and that the anime is once again treating kyudo like a sport here, but I’d just be repeating myself. What annoys me here is that the show continues to miss the point about Seiya. Sure, he’s a caretaker by nature and he worries about Minato more than anyone else, not just because Minato is his best friend, but also because Minato is a dumbass and a catastrophe magnet. But from the moment he and Minato have The Talk in volume 1, his attitude changes drastically. He’s a mother-hen but he’s got a life outside of Minato. He’s his own person with his own problems, like a normal person would be. By turning Seiya into a Minato-hen, the anime makes him feel unnatural and forced. Even Ichikawa Aoi’s line delivery is stiff as hell here. It sounds like fiction, and it’s not supposed to. This is a slice-of-life.

And so, after wasting half an episode with this boring repetition of information that goes absolutely nowhere, we finally move on to what matters. Or what should matter: the goddamn tournament.

It’s not a ganglion but a broken nail in the anime. The brief moment of Minato assuring that everything is fine and the one where he helps everyone regain their composure are the closest things that the anime gets to portraying him faithfully. Minato isn’t the glue that keeps everyone together because there’s no such thing in any of the teams in Tsurune, but he is very much a force of nature in it. He stirs things up and makes shit happen. I dare say he’s as much of a source of inspiration for the club as Masaki is. But it lasts for only a few minutes before Yamamura’s bias steals the spotlight again. It’s amazing how everything is about Seiya even when it’s supposed to be about the whole team. And by “amazing” I mean it makes me want to rip my hair off. In order to keep my sanity from flying off the nest, I tried to distract myself by keeping count of how many times Eisuke has said or thought the phrase “Tsujimine will win as Tsujimine”. It’s been three or four times, just in this episode.

Speaking of Tsujimine, I’m losing my mind at how the way it’s depicted far surpasses the way Kazemai is, from an artistic standpoint. The way the flashbacks are perfectly timed, the watercolor explosion, the fact that Shigeru is watching it from the hospital in real time… it’s such a stark contrast to the bad water CGI from the Kazemai side. Everything connects just perfectly. The show wants you to cheer for them and not Kazemai. I maintain my point from waaay back ago, but KyoAni (again, read that as director Yamamura) has next to no interest in Minato. It doesn’t dive into him, doesn’t explore him beyond surface level and is not invested in making him captivate the viewers. By extension, the same happens with Kazemai. The creators clearly find it to be a boring club, completely blind to the fact that they’re the ones that made it boring.

Anyway, this is my take on episode 11. Now here’s a bonus: a review of the movie.

Being back home for the summer means I finally, at long freaking last, got to watch “Hajimari no Issha”, since it was not on Netflix or Chrunchyroll. I wrote down my thoughts about it as soon as I watched it, which was about half a year ago. If this isn’t a testament to how little free time I’ve had for the past year, I don’t know what would be, lol. It’s surreal how long this has been sitting untouched in my iPad notes. As compensation and apology for taking so goddamn long to post the remainder of my reviews on S2, I’m leaving this here.

First of all, I’m happy that the glow-up in the art style actually began with this movie and not really in S2. The extra scenes are clearly animated better than the recap ones. The contrast is ridiculous. It honestly had me torn between “wow, thanks for the consideration” and “so you really could’ve done better from the beginning and decided not to, huh”.

I’m also happy that it humbly offers bits of information and character development that we’d been given in the novel up to that point but were left out of S1 (well, at least the part of it that doesn’t contradict the anime, which is a lot). Minato’s mother, the time when he and Seiya were going to the same grade school as Ryouhei, young Masaki and his grandfather, etc. Many things we were supposed to have had in S1 are here.

The first parts go back and forth in time, but the initial content is new. New scenes, new dialogue, but still with a certain degree of deviance from the source material. The funny thing (it really ain’t funny at all) is that the deviations mostly don’t have a reason to be there. Hardly any of them have anything to do with the alterations made in S1. Thankfully, they’re small and not very significant, just minor bothers.

But if they’re so unimportant, then why do they bother, y’all may ask. Well… because they’re constant reminders of how much KyoAni doesn’t get this story. Or its characters. Or (yeah, it’s getting old, I know) Zen.

First one was the way Minato got into archery. So I guess anybody who read the novel has been able to tell, but the characters kind of stand on a ladder when it comes to how enlightened they are. Masaki is at the very top, of course, and right bellow him are Minato and Shuu. As the author’s bias - I mean, the one who’s closest to the Zen-Buddhist ideal of enlightenment, Masaki found his way to archery without any reason. He had contact with it even before he became aware of his surroundings; it happened naturally, as if that was just the obvious way to go about life for him (and it was, in a sense).

As the not-so-close second, Minato got into archery in the same way as Masaki: by sheer coincidence (just happened to be present at a kyudo ceremony) and influenced by a loved one (his mother). They also were inspired by the same person (Akihiro) and fell in love with archery at the very same place (Yata Shrine). The difference is that Minato decided to pursue archery consciously, unlike Masaki, who was just doing it before he even realized it, as though he’d been born already with a bow and arrow in hands. And that was that. It’s simplistic and pure and the peak of innocence. It also defines the whole story because this shared beginning, translated in the form of Akihiro’s tsurune, is basically what ignites Minato’s whole world and connects him to everything and everyone he loves. And then comes his mother and her past doing kyudo, which adds fuel to the fire but it’s not really what kindles it. Because then that’d be just ordinary and not as Zen as what the author was going for.

Second alteration that I noticed was the rubber mountain rat that Masaki gave Minato, which in the anime is a rubber ball with a mountain rat mascot printed onto it. As I’ve mentioned a thousand times before, saying that S1 was lackluster and wasteful in terms of Masaki’s teachings and his relationship with Minato is a gross understatement. I’m glad KyoAni tried to make up for that here by giving him a little more spotlight being an actual coach, not just teaching the bare minimum and fucking up. The mountain rat is given quite a bit of importance in volumes 1 and 3, as well as everything else that Minato receives from Masaki, so I guess KyoAni can no longer pretend that these things don’t matter. Except the timing wasn’t the best. In the novel, Masaki gave the mountain rat to Minato when Minato hadn’t yet joined the club, and there’s the whole subplot about Minato being haunted by the things Masaki gives him and does for him, because he’s afraid he’ll lose Masaki at some point. But the opportunity to explore it has long been missed.

Something else that is very different from the original is the way that Seiya is being portrayed as similar to Masaki. This is also a thing in the drama CDs and promotional audios for S2, for some reason. Yet in S2 this is thrown out the window and Masaki is portrayed as similar to Shigeru instead. KyoAni tries so hard not to make the right comparison it’s hysterical.

Speaking of Masaki as a character, it’s always amusing to see the many ways that KyoAni misses the mark about him every single time. It’s literally impossible to understand what they’re trying to do with him. One example of the many incoherences in their depictions of him (aside from trying to brand him as similar to two characters who are completely different from each other, with neither of them being the characters that he’s actually similar to in canon), is the scene where Ren calls him a narcissist. ‘Cause that’s totally the number one quality of a priest. I lost my mind at this one. Where do they pull this shit from? When did Masaki ever act that way, even in the anime itself? Are they just throwing words around? Make it make sense.

There’s one fleeting moment where Masaki is compared to Minato in this scene. Except it’s not because of their personalities or form, but because of the target panic. And Masaki doesn’t really appreciate that. Yeah, that’s definitely the same Masaki who decided to take on teaching because he saw himself in Minato, especially due to the target panic. Who knew exactly what to do and how to help him because of his previous experience. Who puts prayers into everything he does for Minato so that Minato will overcome it as soon as possible. That Masaki.

“Don’t know her,” says the show.

Most frustrating of all is that this happens because Ren says kyudo is overly complicated for something that’s “all about hitting or missing” and Masaki retorts with, “Yeah, but that’s what makes it interesting”, which prompts Ren to joke, “Said like a true narcissist” before Masaki elbows him. This is a nod to volume 1’s “The way of the bow is steep, but that’s what makes it interesting”, but by God, does it backfire in the worst possible way. He could’ve just said that kyudo isn’t about hitting or missing. Actually, the last thing kyudo would be about is hitting or missing. Hitting and missing don’t fucking matter. Masaki is the last character who should be saying this, considering that he’s not only the best archer of the club but also that the literal reason why he and his grandfather started fighting was that Akihiro accused him of only caring about hitting the target. This isn’t western archery. Get your own culture right, I’m begging you.

Breathe in, breathe out. I’m fine. We’re fine. This movie… isn’t fine, but S1 was by far the worst offender. Second place is S2. And none of these three are in the same ballpark. This wasn’t exactly good but it also wasn’t bad.

On the positive side, I like the care and detail that was put into this production as much as I like the care and detail put into in S2. Despite everything I just said, KyoAni is definitely paying a lot more attention and respect to the original from this movie onwards. Is it enough? Absolutely not. But it’s something.

Like the first shot of S2, for example, which is a throwback to the scene of Akihiro adjusting himself into his draw. The camera angles are identical. This is a very nice and well-thought detail not just for the sake of parallels, but because of something Tomio says in volume 3: that an archers’ form tends to resemble the one of their teacher. He comments that everyone from the team resembles Masaki a lot when they shoot, which indirectly means that they resemble Akihiro too.

I also really like that they gave Minato’s mom a little more screen time and lines. I’d almost forgotten that she was voiced by Matsutani Kaya ‘cause she barely ever talks in the other two titles. But it would’ve been for naught if she hadn’t been put in her rightful place as a big influence in Minato’s life. Especially the bicycle scene. It’s kinda obvious that this one was both a metaphor for kyudo and for life.

That’s about it. There wasn’t much going on in this one. It feels like bait to rile up the fans for S2, because it was, to be very honest.

[aggressivelyarospec]

hi, i need some advice. if you don't do this sort of thing that's totally okay I just didn't know where else to go.

I'm not arospec so I hope this is okay but it relates to it- and all the people I've asked that are also allo don't really 'get' it and it takes a lot of explaining.

so basically my bf is aromantic.i know that's contradictory but hold on here. So basically he's my boyfriend except we aren't actually in love with each other- we just do the other thing you know the thing that asexuals don't do- sorry idk what the guidelines are on this app-

and he's okay with being boyfriends because his family doesn't believe he's gay (he's not out to them as aro) and he wanted to like prove them wrong or something I really don't know, we were just like friends and also involved otherwise and then he asked if I would be his boyfriend

and I said, Aren't you aromantic, and he said yeah and explained it to me, but then he asked if it was okay if I was his boyfriend even if we didn't like each other romantically and I was like okay, because he's a really good friend and I was so single it was painful.

Now, here's the issue. I think I'm falling in love with him. AND HE's aromantic. I don't know what to do. I know we're not real boyfriends, but our interactions feel different now that we have that label, and I've always been attracted to him.

And for some reason, internally I can't differentiate between attraction and romantic feelings.

Should I tell him or would that cause more harm than good? Should I break up with him since it's going to create an impossible situation for him???? Should I just say nothing and live with my feelings forever?

I can't snuff out the crush cause I see him every day. You can only get rid of these things if you don't feed them. But I'm getting so fed. I just need some advice.

Again, so sorry if this is not allowed or formatted incorrectly. Good day.

Hello there! Our blog isn't meant for this type of thing, but we're always happy to help as much as we can, so you're more than welcome to write to us about what's troubling you, don't worry.

Now, I am aromantic in the way I understand your boyfriend is (the type of aro with 0 romantic attraction), so I'll try to answer from his perspective?, although I'd like to remind you every person is different, so this may not apply to him.

My go-to answer to situations like this is: talk to him. Honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship, no matter the label, and hiding these feelings from your partner is never a good idea because it can cause insecurities in both of you. But before you do that, though, I'd like you to reflect on a couple of things, if you don't mind:

1. I don't know exactly what your agreement was when you began the relationship, but I'd like you to think about why you keep referring to both of you as "Not real boyfriends". If that's what both of you decided to call it, it's okay, and please ignore this, but if it's only your perception, what exactly makes you not real boyfriends? Romantic love may be what brings most people together at first, but it's not enough to build a relationship/partnership, not even for allo people. And it's not the sex either.

You mentioned your interactions felt different. Why? What about the label made you change the way you treated each other? A boyfriend can also be someone who loves you platonically. Someone who, despite not being romantically in love with you, is in love with what you bring to his life and wants to keep you in it. A "boyfriend" is whoever you decide to call that, the same way you decide to call someone your best friend or your brother from another mother. Those labels only have the meaning you decide to give them and fuck with whatever society thinks of them. Do you really need to be in love with each other to be real boyfriends or what you have it's enough, even if no one else gets it?

2. What exactly are you hoping happens once you talk to him? You already know he's aromantic, and I doubt that changes if you confess to him, so are you prepared for his reaction, whatever it is? Could you handle dating someone you know for a fact isn't in love with you? Would you do it because he's important to you or just because you don't want to be single?

There are a lot of aromantic people in romantic relationships and they work because both sides are ok with the arrangement, but that doesn't guarantee your boyfriend is going to be ok with it, so think very carefully about what you'd like to get from him and how exactly could you meet his needs if you both decide to continue the relationship after the confession. Think about your expectations and communicate all that to him. Maybe talking to him will clear up your mind about the attraction vs. romantic feelings dilemma. And since I'm guessing you're in a relationship with him because you trust each other and care for each other, keep that in mind when you're thinking over all this stuff.

You don't have to answer any of what I wrote above to me unless you want to, but this is for you to reflect on. Those feelings are a big shift in your dynamic as boyfriends, that's why it's important you talk to him and renegotiate your relationship if that's what you both decide to do. Don't assume anything about him and whatever decision you come to, remember you need to do it together.

I hope this helps! Thank you for trusting us with this.

— Caro

[winns-stuff]

Honestly why does Hades even have like 7 dogs?? Why do we almost never see Cerberus, you know the Actual hell hound of Hades who guards the underworld? (Where's Charon, the Stygian boatman? I guess because the gods have cars and can fly theres no need for souls to cross the river styx anymore?)

But back to the dogs. Hades even mentioned at one point his therapist telling him to stop getting dogs and he blatantly ignores his therapists advice. So he has zero self control and even in telling Persephone no, still often gives into her demands, which isnt healthy either.

Also Hades' personality is a bit strange. Hes simultaneously really mean and callous to his employees yet gift giving is his love language (which I guess is supposed to paint him as sympathetic?). He loves his dogs and despite being a king he can't put his foot down and actually assert some boundaries in a relationship and is seen as a pushover and a victim of Minthe... Despite having control of all her finances and job.

And then we have Persephone "cinnamon roll" goddess whos supposed to be super nice yet a lot of her personality traits kinda contradict? She's also mean and callous to people who she think has wronged her (Tori). Doesn't know how to take no for an answer. Is somehow naive as all hell (doesn't know internships aren't paid) yet is supposed to be super smart and have a buncha wisdom which is counteracted by her growing up in a secluded area and apparently this makes her a good fit for being a queen. Is a vegetarian and is supposedly down to earth village girl yet loves all the expensive gifts Hades presents her with. Etc. I'm probably wording this badly so apologies.

Also, with one of your other posts, yeah why is hades portrayed as sad and lonely in the underworld when he has a team of people and a support network? (Hecate, thanatos techncially, Minthe etc?) Then it just seems like RS is trying to go for "Hades technically has everything but hes still sad and tragic cause he doesn't have a waifu".

Again, sorry this rant got wayy off track. There's just a lotta weird contradictory things in LO character wise and setting wise (having a monarchy yet Apollo is running for president for ex).

It’s completely fine! I enjoy reading the opinions of others since it gives me insight and helps me realize/understand things better and you worded everything fine, I understood everything. But you’re right there’s a lot of things that are missing with LO that connects to greek mythology, like yes I know it’s a retelling but there shouldn’t be so many elements taken from the original that it’s completely unrecognizable? I’ve seen this from a lot of people who talk about how Americanized Lore Olympus is and I can’t help but agree, there’s no greek traditions or clothing. Barely any greek phrases or any signature dishes, nothing connects Lore Olympus back to Greece even though it’s their myths and I think it’s a huge letdown. Being modernized doesn’t equal to Americanized, there should at least be some sort of connection even if it’s small you know? I feel like it’s not exactly my place to go into too much detail but that’s just been on my mind for a while and I’ve noticed it a lot lately.

I’m guessing Rachel just thought that Hades was a huge dog person since Cerberus was always with him in the myths? I’m not sure. But it’s insane that she included so many dogs yet only showcases about four in total. Me personally I would’ve liked to see Hades get emotional support dogs or something, then we can take a dive in his other traumas besides Kronos, because that seems to be the only terrible thing that’s happened to him. The emotional support animals could’ve also helped him with his emotions and helped regulate them better so he wouldn’t be lashing out on everyone, it would also be good representation about the importance of emotional support animals and the seriousness around them. There’s a bunch of people who still think they’re regular dogs and the people having them are just using them as “an excuse”, this could’ve easily showed people more about them and educated them more in my opinion.

And Hades’ personality is very weird, he alternates from different personalities every few chapters and also even every few panels. You see him wanting to be understood by his peers and not wanting to be a tyrant like his father, then you cut to him being an absolute madman and causing chaos to those beneath him. He doesn’t want to include Persephone in his life because he has too much baggage but then you cut to him trauma dumping on her when she was telling him about her own. You see him not wanting attention or to make things about himself and then cut to every single conversation he’s engaged being transformed about him by him. Then lastly, he says how it’s terrible for Persephone to be lied to/it’s disgusting to cheat, then you cut to him keeping information from her and cheating with his sister in law (in this comic). There’s so many contradictions with him that you never really know who he truly is and it’s irritating trying to play the guessing game with him. Is he mean and cruel or sad and lonely? Which is it?

Same is said with Persephone, nothing about her character makes any sense. How is she going to dumb as rock one scene and then oh so smart in the next? I’m so caring and I care about not hurting Minthe’s feelings and then play house with her boyfriend knowing that they’re with each other? Feel guilty about breaking them apart but continue to go after him? It’s really stupid. And then she claims that she enjoys him because he’s nice to her yet everyone else that is nice to her doesn’t get half of her attention like Hades does, she doesn’t do anything nice for any of her friends or family or even coworkers only for Hades. Not only that but we’re supposed to believe she doesn’t use him even though whenever they’re together Hades is giving her all types of gifts, many of which she’s never offered back even with her money, and taking her places/making her feel better and such. We never see Persephone putting in any effort to do the same yet she’s not using him? Funny story.

Their whole relationship is one sided on both ends and it’s insane how people think it’s romantic, a relationship is between two people one person should not be doing all of the work while the other one lounges around and allows the other to bend over backwards for them. It’s very sad that Persephone not respecting Hades’ boundaries is fine when it’s Persephone but if Hades did the same thing (which I know he has but I mean actually clearly, like intentional and not having the comic tell you otherwise) it would be terrible. I do feel bad for Hades being taken advantage of like this, he’s just too up Persephone’s ass to even realize it.