#sorry ronen but nothing's gonna top that

[howlingsaturn]

here's why the police station scene is, and will always be, the best and most meaningful tarlos scene.

we watched TK deliberately pick a fight and we realise that he's not doing well at all. we see him struggle with the aftermath of the break up, the overdose and probably the move to Texas and that's great. it shows that his problems don't suddenly disappear once he's out of New York.

Carlos doing his job, sitting at his desk, in uniform. do i need to add to that? maybe i do: have you seen the way he flicks his keys when he’s walking around TK? wow. just wow. 

we find out TK's full name. and Carlos, out of all people, is the one to tell us.

"Isn't you processing me like a conflict of interest or something?" — TK acknowledges their connection. it's meant as a joke, obviously, he tries to deflect, but he does not deny that there's something between them and that is a very crucial point.

Carlos reaching for TK's wrist to take off the handcuffs. i don't know why but there's something strangely intimate about it. (my darling alice, @reyeslonestar, said that it's a metaphor in the way that Carlos is freeing TK from his fears and insecurities, thus allowing him to finally open up to someone and that's beautiful.)

"The bad news is that means you did this with a clear head." — TK's face. that's all. just look at his face when Carlos says his piece. he's hurting so much, you can literally see it in his eyes.

Carlos is both gentle and firm during his talk. he's careful not to push his boundaries but he feels close enough to TK, which says a lot about the instant connection they shared, to not be afraid to speak his mind. it's obviously something TK needed to hear and it's so important that it's Carlos who does it instead of, for example, Owen. Owen is too close, he's had the front row seat to his son's drama. but Carlos is more neutral, he's only known TK from a distance (excluding the intimacy part, y'know what i mean) but he's an observer. he saw TK and that's the beautiful part. he's cared enough to see him, to notice what was going on and TK needed that. he needed someone different, someone special but not someone close enough to really see him. Carlos also acknowledges that TK is suicidal (thank you @singerofsimplesongs for pointing that one out). it's something that was brought up in the first episode when Owen asked him and even though TK denied it, there is some truth to it and i think that we, as an audience, also got a better understanding of how serious this actually is.

the crud thing; Carlos wiping away the blood. they're on thin ice at that moment but Carlos still reaches out and takes care of TK. that's how much TK has already influenced his life. and TK lets him. he's vulnerable, he's hurting, he has every reason to turn away and walk out, to be mad and isolate himself. but he doesn't do any of it. he lays himself bare and allows Carlos to take care of him and that’s a huge effing thing for someone like TK. there’s also the way Carlos clutches the tissue afterwards like he chastises himself for doing it. TK is not the only one taking a risk here, Carlos is too. he allows TK to see him too. he’s not afraid to show TK that he cares about him. and, of course, the way they look at each other,,, which brings me to my next point.

the eye contact. you can see how confused and vulnerable they both are and you can also see how much they care about each other even in this very early, very fragile state of their relationship. (kudos to rafael and ronen for this one. their emotions are so palpable in their eyes, that's just a+ acting.)

TK opening up to Carlos and telling him about the break up, the relapse and the numbness. that's insane considering they barely know each other and TK hasn't told anyone else. it plays such a crucial part in his development. in order to heal he needed to acknowledge it, he needed to say it out loud and Carlos was right there to listen. the fact that TK felt safe enough to be this honest also tells us a lot about what kind of man Carlos is: the best. (there's so much fragility in TK's voice too, just listen to how quiet he gets all of the sudden. it honest to God gave me goosebumps the first time i watched it. ronen delivered these lines beautifully.)

Carlos apologising for the champagne. he didn't know, there's no way he could've known but he's so frustrated with himself because of it. this just shows how sweet he is, how he wants to make everyone feel welcomed and comfortable, and you bet he is the type of person who won't forget this. who will go out of his way to ensure that TK never feels awkward or insecure about his addiction. also have you seen his face when TK explained that he's relapsed with substances? did you see the shock on his face when it clicked? and he wasn't shocked about the confession but because he thought he had messed up horribly. i mean, this man is just too pure for his own good.

“I guess I just- I wanted to feel something”  — Carlos’ face when TK said that. this man is hurting for someone he literally just met and he already wants to take some of the weight TK carries. i said it before and i will say it again: carlos reyes is the sweetest and kindest human being with the biggest fucking heart. he is so enamored with TK, it actually makes me wanna cry sometimes.

"You’re really busting my balls right now?" — it was meant to lighten the mood and not just in terms of telling a story on television. Carlos knew how hard this must've been for TK, how much he's struggled with this confession and Carlos wants to show him that it's okay, that it doesn't need to change anything between them. he falls back into their playful banter, easing TK into something that he's familiar with because being so vulnerable certainly wasn't. it's such a relief for TK because he turned away, he was about to leave and let that confession hang awkwardly between them but Carlos didn't let him. he offered him support in a way that worked best for TK and the fact that Carlos picked up on that tells us again, how deep their connection actually runs. their relationship is not just physical and it's something that TK realised during that conversation, paving the way for them to become more. and that's fucking beautiful.

thank you for coming to my ted talk, that’ll be all. for now. also thank you to everyone who left me a little message and talked to me about this scene. it’s one of my favourite things to do sksjdksk.