#sorry not sorry to the average jurassic world fans who have to see this in their tags.

[mangosaurus]

by demand of like 10 people total i hereby present the chaos shipping edition of my first jwct shipping chart. edit as needed just go fucking nuts

[clobertina]

Fellow Dino Nerd ruining y'all's prehistoric childhoods lol

-its not scientifically backed up that raptors hunted in coronated packs. They most likely hunted in an unorganized mob behavior and likely even killed eachother over carcasses.

-Group hunting is not the norm.

-Ceratopcid dinos could not ram into things like rhinos, otherwise it would have shattered their skulls.

-Dinosaurs could not roar, but can make bellowing sounds etc. Roaring is a mammalian thing.

-The raptor's sickle claw was not used for disembowelment, it was only sharp enough to puncture the skin but not slice it. It's been theorized that it was used to pinning it's prey down as the creature ate it's prey alive as well as for helping them climb.

-Most dinos didn't have protruding teeth like you always see in media, they had lip coverings, otherwise their teeth would dry out. One of the few creatures like Crocodilians who do have their teeth protruding out; their skulls and teeth do not match with those of dinosaurs. In fact, most skulls of carnivorous dinos have these little holes above their teeth, something found in animals that have lip coverings.

-Troodon is a Nomen dubium, meaning that it is not a valid genus. Sorry to all the Troodon fans. This is because Troodon was made from a single tooth, causing many scientists to lump in all things with similar teeth into that genus, causing major problems in the long run. It is now refered to "an Arctic Troodontid" instead of just "Troodon".

-The Brachiosaurus you see in most dino movies, (mainly Jurassic Park/World) is NOT ACTUALLY A BRACHIOSAURUS. The dino you keep seeing is ACTUALLY a Giraffatitan!

-It is unclear if Triceratops (and I mean Triceratops specifically) lived in large herds. It is more believed that they lived in smaller groups.

- "Pterodactyl" is not a real word, dinosaur, or a real genus. The real classification is called "Pterosaur". In fact, Pterosaurs are not even dinosaurs lol. Pterosaurs are actually reptiles and it's even been found from fossilized eggs that they layed soft-shelled eggs like snakes!

-Spinosaurus looked like this (at least as of now, this Dino keeps changing fr lol)

To make up for that, here's cool prehistoric facts.

-feathers make dinosaurs more dangerous believe it or not. Feathers can break their fall, make them more silent, protect them from the cold, and more.

-Mosasaurs are not dinosaurs and are, interestingly, a distant relative to Monitor Lizards, they even have a forked tongue!

-T-Rex was pretty intelligent, had incredible vision, incredible since of smell, and can run as fast (or slightly faster) than the average human. They where the irl Mary Sue fr lol. That said, they weren't unstoppable and just an animal. (I'm side eyeing the T-Rex fan boys so hard rn lol).

-Fossilized chemicals give us an idea of some dinosaur's actual colors! Sinosauropteryx is the most common example!

-T-Rex was an ambush predator and would be much scarier than the Hollywood counterpart. This is because they would be much more silent and would stalk their prey instead of immediately making it's presence known.

-Tyrannosaurids start out leaner, faster, and weaker than their adult counterparts when a juvenile or adolescent. This is because they filled a different niche. Once they age, they grow chunkier, slower, and stronger to fill in their new niche of hunting bigger creatures like Triceratops.

-Even though it is not supported that raptors hunted in packs. It IS actually supported that Albertosaurus did! While with raptors, their group remains are mostly found near other fossilized animals, Albertosaurus Fossils have been found in LARGE groups of numbers of other Albertosauruses.

-Smilodons actually had smaller brains compared to modern cats

-Dimetrodon was related to mammals

-Irrirator (a relative to Spinosaurus) had a split jaw to swallow bigger prey whole.

DISCLAIMER: Science is ALWAYS progressing, so some of these could be disproven in the future. It is always important to make your own conclusions.

[mayparkerblogs-blog]

Just Your Average Morning {Part 3}

So.. what do you think of JURAM (is the acronym stupid or do you love it?) so far? Writing this story has been such a blast! Big things are happening soon- and you won’t want to miss any of it! Stay in tune to find out what will become of our beloved reader... YOU! If you’re new to my writing and JURAM (oops.. used the acronym again), you can catch up by reading the prologue, part 1, and part 2. Hope you guys enjoy the newest part!

[reminder: Y/N’s thoughts are in italics]

avengers x fem!reader

“Are you kidding me, Peter?”

An exhausted Tony Stark stormed into the common room, followed by a rather frazzled teenage boy. “You know, Mr. Stark, I really wasn’t expecting it to actually work.” the pair  hadn’t noticed you were in the room yet. “You weren’t expecting one of my inventions, TONY STARK’S inventions to actually work when you pressed a few buttons? Didn’t I tell you to work on repairing your suit and not touch anything else? How hard is that?” The teen’s face went red as he turned away from Tony and realized you were in the room. “Um.. Tony..” Tony’s face went into shock when he realized he heard the entire conversation. “Oh,” you began, “Sorry if I’m interrupting anything, I’ve just been, um,” you turned to the laptop which was opened to a page about the serum and the many attempts to recreate it. “Researching. For school. Yeah” You shut the laptop before they could see what you were really looking at. “I’ll just go now cause it seems like you two are really busy so I’ll just see you guys around-” You attempted to leave the room as quick as possible but Tony sat you right back down on the couch. “Oh no, Y/N, you weren't interrupting anything. I was just about to go call the ceiling repair company anyways.” He shot the teenager a look of pure saltiness as he said “ceiling repair company”. The three of you sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or what to do. The boy shuffled in his spot, visibly embarrassed and uncomfortable. “Peter, why don’t you come over and sit down with Y/N for a little while. I don’t believe you two have met. Y/N, this is Peter; Peter, Y/N.” You directed a smile towards Peter as he sat down in the chair next to you. “Now you guys talk, laugh, watch vines, do whatever kids do for fun nowadays. Oh yeah, and if you really like each other, you better exchange numbers now since Y/N is being shipped in a few days.” Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten. Tony began to leave the room, proud of his little match-making scheme. “Oh and Y/N,” he said, turning around, “Have you seen Steve anywhere? I saw his shield in the training room this morning but I didn’t catch sight of him on his morning jog. He’s going to want to hear about the hole in the ceiling.” You shook your head no. “Nah, Steve left early this morning. Said he had to go check on this girl in D.C and he’ll be back by tomorrow night. How come he didn’t tell you?” Tony rolled his eyes and left the room. “He’s a little bitch, that’s why.” You furrowed your brow at Tony’s oddly harsh comment and reopened your laptop just to shut it back down again. “What are you researching for school?” Peter asked. You panicked and came up with the first thing that came to your mind. “Dogs. I’m doing a project over dogs and their food for chemistry.” “Oh, well that’s pretty cool. I like dogs, especially. beagles. What school do you go to?” Oh no. Do I say my real school or do I lie? “I go to a private school in Kansas. We’re family friends with Tony so my parents sent me up here for a week to get a closer look at all of his new tech since I’m real interested in engineering and stuff.” Wow, I didn’t know I was that good at lying. Peter beamed a warm little smile back at you. “Woah, that’s awesome. I’m in the Stark Internship so I just get to come up here every now and then and check out some of his recent projects. I got in trouble for touching one of his new machine thingies instead of working on repairing my- I mean his old and damaged suits. Yep. I don’t have a cool suit or anything. It’s not like I’m iron man, even though that would be really really cool if I was. Nope. It was his suit. Yep. But that doesn’t really matter.” Peter’s rambling made you giggle a little bit. “Anyways, did you fly here or did you drive?” “I flew. The flight was awful. Very, um, bumpy.” You congratulated yourself for coming up with such an amazing alibi. “That’s neat. I’m not a huge fan of flying. I’ve only been on a plane like three times. The last time didn’t end up so well. Hey, uh,  wanna play the Wii?”

You and your new friend Peter played Mario Kart, Wii Sports, Wii Party, and Super Mario Bros for hours on end, occasionally stopping for a snack or restroom break. You thought Peter was a super nice, funny, and smart. You would have killed to have a friend like him back home. Why did Tony introduce us? Now I just have to turn around in 3 days and leave him too. He was the first person who had ever met who could challenge your impressive Mario Kart skills. After you and Peter had defeated the boss battle in level 4 of Super Mario Bros, you checked the clock and realized it was just around dinner time. “I can make us some pizza rolls, if you want. Or we can ask Tony if he can order us something.” You offered to Peter. “Pizza rolls sound amazing. I’ll microwave some popcorn, too.” After placing the pizza rolls in the oven and microwaving a few bags of popcorn (the two of you realized you should have microwaved the popcorn once the pizza rolls were done cooking so everything would be warm at the same time), you and Peter sat at the kitchen island, talking about just about everything. “My favorite subject in school? Probably chemistry. But I do like Spanish a whole bunch. We have a bunch of food parties in that class.” Peter commented. “I really enjoy my psychology class. And my speech class. And english. And student-aid. I guess I like most of my classes, but maybe not-” Tony ran halfway through the common area in a dead sprint to his lab with a panicked look on his face, interrupting your sentence. “Hi, Mr. Stark!” Peter said as Tony turned to the two of you, acting like nothing was wrong.”Y/N and I made some popcorn, you’re welcome to have some. Oh and the pizza rolls will be done soon. And don't worry about any mess, Mr. Stark, I’ll clean it all up.” He’ll clean it up? That’s rather polite, I’ll thank him later. “Don’t have time for food. There’s been a situation in Paris so the team and I have really gotta get going. Y/N, here’s a phone for you to use in case of an emergency. It has the entire team’s numbers on it, including mine. If anything does happen, call Steve first. We’ll be back in about a day or two.” Tony whipped around and starting sprinting back to his lab. “Hey, Mr. Stark!” Peter called out as Tony opened the door. “Do you want me to spend an extra day here with Y/N so she’s not all alone? May will probably be fine with it.” “As long as your Aunt May is fine with it, I don’t care.” Tony entered his lab and yelled back “No funny business, you two!” before he put on his suit and departed on the mission. The oven beeped, signaling that your pizza rolls were finally done. The two of you ate in awkward silence as you scrolled through the contacts on your phone. “Hey Peter,’ you said, “I don't think Tony put your number in my phone. Would you mind if, you know, in case anything happens and I need to get a hold of you-” you reached your phone across the table to Peter, who proceeded to create a new contact for himself. He smiled as he returned your phone and you realized that his contact name was “Peter ‘The Wii Olympian’ Parker”. “I beg to differ, Peter,” you said with a smirk, “I think I am the true Wii Olympian.” Peter crossed his arms and let out a light chuckle. “Uh-huh, sure. That’s why I beat you at every round of Wii Tennis.” You threw a pizza roll at Peter, way harder than you thought you did, and it splattered all over Peter’s face. I didn't throw it that hard, did I? “I see how it is, Y/N. I hope you don’t mind if I do this!” He squirted his Capri-Sun at you, soaking your shirt in Wild-Cherry. “There,” he stated, proudly. “Now we’re even.” You smiled and shook your head as you cleaned up your plates and threw away the bags of microwavable popcorn. “Hey, wanna watch Jurassic World? Steve rented it the other day so we could still watch it and not have to pay.” you offered, not wanting to go to bed yet. “I should probably go take a shower and wash all of this cheese and sauce off. Plus it’s getting pretty late. Can we watch it tomorrow, though? I love that movie.” Peter replied. You nodded your head and checked the time. Almost 10:30? I feel like it was just 8. “Oh yeah, yeah, it actually is getting pretty late. I guess we should get headed to bed.” You and Peter shut off all the lights in the common room and returned to your respective rooms. The medical bay was a little farther away than the guest room Peter was staying in, so the two of you departed ways outside of Peter’s room. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, Peter.” you said as Peter stood in the doorway to his little room. “Y-yeah I’ll see you tomorrow. Night!” He waved as he shut his door and you began to walk away. “Oh! Peter!” you called back to him. “Thanks for staying an extra day with me. It’s nice not being in this big empty building alone.” He face lit up with a bright smile. “Oh yeah! No problem, it’s really nothing! I um, uh, really like hanging out with you, Y/N, so I'm glad I get to spend another day with you, too.” The two of you stood in silence, both smiling and staring at the ground. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” you said as you departed. “Yep, I’ll see ya then!” Peter shut his door and the hallway was flooded with darkness. You quickly returned to your room, showered, jumped into your bed, and let out a long sigh.

Peter’s only going to make leaving harder, isn't he?

TAGS~

@sataninsatin @markusstraya @tinyclockss

[closseyc-blog]

My Top 10 Favorite Mystery Science Theater Episodes

 I was asked recently at my job, Christine why do you like watching bad movies? My answer was, well I like to suffer (kidding). But my true response was well ever since I was kid, I’ve watched Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for all you non watchers). I remember every Saturday on Comedy Central or SyFy (it was first on CC but later moved to SyFy), my family would gather around the TV to see which movie Joel or Mike would rip apart this week. It was one of the few shows my family loves to watch together. Hell my first date with my boyfriend we talked about our love of this show and we’ve been watching it together ever since. That’s how much this show has been a part of my life. Now it’s coming back with new episodes on Netflix and I can’t fucking wait! My thoughts of I wonder what movies they are going to riff, I wonder if Crow still like to dress up like bear, if Tom Servo still hates Canada. 

Those have never of this show,what the hell is wrong with you? (kidding again). Well the show is basically about three people (well two robots and a human) that are forced to watch bad movies, by Dr. Forrester or Pearl Forrester (depending on which season you watch). While watching the movie though, they make jokes. Yea it’s that simple. A silhouette of them is shown through out, and it makes it look like an actual movie theater watching experience.

If you have never seen the show, I couldn’t recommend this show enough. This list hopefully help you get started on you MST3K binge watch. There are almost 200 episodes of the original show, which yes it’s a lot. But this list are my personal favorite, this is how I introduce the show to people who have never seen it. Spoiler: The number one pick is the one I show everyone who want to watch this show for the first time. 

This is my list, aka my personal opinion. If you are a fan of the show and you don’t see your favorite, let me know in the comments.  

Just a short mention, I won’t be including the shorts on my list, just the movies. Some of the movies on my list may include a short, but know I love all the shorts they do. I know Youtube has a bunch of them on their so check it out! 

10.   Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders

You would think with a title like Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders it would be movie of child like wonder and magic. Instead this movie is an scary, horrifying story that Grandpa (Ernst Borgnine) is telling his grandson. These stories consist of man who uses Merlin’s Magic Book to cast spell which back fires (literally it ends with a fire) which ends in a death. An evil monkey with cymbal that causes people to dye if he crashes his cymbals. I won’t say this movie is full of wonders and Merlin. It’s a horror movie being told as a bed time story to a kid. Luckily the gang at MST3K joke about how the movie that sounds like it’s going to be a magical family movie, instead you’ll have nightmares about that monkey. My favorite part is when they cut to gag jokes in which the show fake children's book that looks innocent but when they open the book, it was ugly let’s say. So if you’re looking for a title that looks like it’s going to be something it’s not, this is the perfect movie for you.

9.  Santa Claus

This is one of two of Christmas specials on this list. This movie is about Santa Claus (yea so you’re thinking). How about Santa Claus vs.the Devil. Damn. Made in Mexico, this 1959 movie tell you the real story of Santa, not living in the North Pole but in a castle in the sky. He doesn’t have elves, he has children from all around the world make the toys for him (and make them sing a song from their country). He also only goes to three house and fights the Devil for a little girls soul. I love to watch this episode every Christmas. I laugh just watching Santa wined up his reindeer (you’ll see when you watch it). The jokes are spot on with the gang, especially when the kids sing their songs, I crack up every time. So if you’re looking for a new Christmas special to watch in December, watch this I promise it will take that depression from looking at your bank account after a trip on Amazon,go away.

8.  Soultaker

What do you get when you have, the early 90′s, writer and star in the movie and Joe Estevez as a grim reaper, you get a crappy movie. Thank goodness we have Mike Nelson and his robot pals to make this movie less painful. One of the character in this movie has the biggest chin I’ve ever seen in my life, and of course they rip him and Joe Estevez apart with their acting. My favorite part in this episode is when the girl is about to get naked, Crow gets excited until he gets something in his eye and he has to leave the theater. When he comes back she’s fully dressed again and he gets angry. This movie is full of bad acting, a story that feels like it’s dragging on and on and an Estevez! Enjoyable has hell. 

7.  Manos: The Hands of Fate

Any bad movie lover has heard of this movie. Manos is a classic so bad it’s good movie and this is how I saw this movie for the first time. A movie that has bad acting, bad sound editing and a story I really don’t get to this day. But thanks to this episode it brought this movie into the main stream. It also brought Torgo, a character from this movie into a couple of the regular episodes. This movie can drag on, even the robots and Joel say “ Do Something” through the movie. Though I don’t think it’s a strong as the others on this list, I still think it’s funny episode and it brought this movie the attention it needs.  

6. Mitchell/ Final Justice

I know I’m cheating by putting two movies at number 6 (but then again it’s my fucking list and I’m going to do whatever I want). I had t hard time trying to pick which Joe Don Baker movie to put above the other so it’s a tie. There is a sort of thing when it’s a Joe Don Baker movie that show something happens (to Joel). In Mitchell it was Joel’s last episode as host, in which he passes it to Mike. In Final Justice, Joel makes a cameo in which was a great build up. The movies both have Joe Don Baker as a cop. He’s above the law though so he’s a tough cop who yells at kids and goes to another country in his Taxes Ranger get up. In both of these movies the guys make fart noises and food jokes. Sound immature, but if you know me you know that I act like a kid most of the time so it’s funny. 

5. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

This made for PBS movie is a classic. This Raul Julia (He played Gomez in the Addams Family movies) star as Fingal (yes that name is riffed a lot in this episode) a man who get doppeled into a computer. If you don’t know what doppeling is, well I really don’t either. Best way to put it, a guy’s mind is now in a computer and he’s is messing with a big companies computer system. This movie is confusing but with three others who also have no idea what’s going on either it makes this movie enjoyable. My favorite part is at the end where Fingal and this fat guy (yes that’s his name in the movie) have a basic staring contest. Just the jokes of them staring are enough to make this movie laughable. Also as a side gag they do this fake pledge drive like they do at PBS, even if you’ve never seen this movie you’ll love the pledge drive gags. Please watch this and realize how much PBS means a lot in pop culture (I’m talking to you all you people who want to take away ELMO)

4.  Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Spoiler: Santa never conquers the Martians. Yes I know sad. This movie is so cheaply made, I mean just look at that picture. The actors that played martians look like they just put on some green paint, made their own costumes and said ok let’s shot a movie. Heck even a guy dressed up like a polar bear looks like he made that thing himself. The episode is a classic when it comes to MST3K fans. My dad told me he remember watching this movie when he was young, and watching it now you why my dad told me this movie sucked. The movie itself is really really bad but these jokes are spot on. The gang also sings a funny song called “A Patrick Swyaze Christmas” (RIP PS). This episode is full of Christmas Spirit and a sold riff on a not so great holiday classic.

3.  Hobgoblins

So I have to point out that this is my boyfriend’s favorite episode. He was a little upset that this wasn’t number 1 on my list. But like I said before it’s my list (not even my boyfriend can change that). I will say though that this is on my list because it’s the best movie that defines the 80′s. Hobgoblins is a big rip off of the Gremlins movie. But these Hobgoblins are locked in a safe until they are freed but a guy who is as brave as the lawyer in Jurassic Park. His friends and his girlfriend are the worst people you can meet. There is even a fight with rakes (yes the lawn tool )and they just use the wooden part that makes a sound effect every time they hit them. I love this episode for all the jokes they make on the over sexed Jesse Spano look a like. I will watch this episode if I’m sad or need to be reminded that there are worse movies than Norm of the North. Please watch this one for your 80′s kick.

2.  The Final Sacrifice

This fucking movie is the best Canadian riffing movie (Sorry Canada i love your style but this is just a great episode). With a teenager that sounds like he’s reached  puberty a couple of times, a man who lives in a house that sounds like a cartoon character, a cult that looks like they are going to rob a bank and the greatest hero Canada has Rowsdower! That beer drinking, mullet wear, over weight beauty of a man.  Yes now you know what my twitter name means (that’s @heyrowsdower on my twitter for all of you who want to follow). Just think average Joe on an adventure. But what makes this episode my number 2, the jokes are spot on. The way this episode flows, how the character react to what’s happening the screen, even the side gags are just so funny that I don’t want to spoil. I just say please watch this one, after you watch my favorite MST3K episode... 

drum roll my number 1 pick for my favorite episode of MST3K is....

1.   Space Mutiny

This is my favorite hands down episode of MST3K ever. Not going to lie it was hard to write this list, heck I left out a bunch of great ones, like Werewolf, Eegah and Time Chasers. But I knew the whole time when writing my list what my number one was going to be. I remember watching this episode on TV for the first time and I pissed myself because these jokes are what make this show a classic. A movie that takes scenes from the show Battle Star, has the love interest who looks older than her father, show a women being killed then in the next scene she’s there alive and well. But I think what makes this episode the best is the names they give to the main hero Dave Rider. Calling him Buff Drinks Lots, Bulk Vander Huge, Flint Ironstaff, etc. I also show this episode to someone who has never seen this show telling them this is what this show is about. Three people making fun of a movie and looking like they are having a great time.

I hope this list will help you start your new obsession (your welcome). I really want those who have never seen the show to check it out. There are some episodes on Netflix now, including Space Mutiny so no excuses! 

[newstanmarshblog]

The Average and Unusual Couple: Chapter Two

   It was Saturday morning, and Sharon drops off Stan close to Stark’s Pond where he plans to meet up with his friends.

   Sharon: If you need anything, just give me a call. I plan on spending nearly my entire day with your uncle.

   Stan: Okay, mom. Tell uncle Jimbo that I say hi.

   Sharon: Sure thing, sweetie. Have fun!

   Stan smiling: I plan on doing so. Bye!

   As she heads off to uncle Jimbo’s place, Stan leaves his bike parked next to Kyle’s bike, and then takes a nice quiet walk to Stark’s Pond. Along a way, he sees some Blue Jays and Squirrels that put a smile on his face because he hasn’t seen any nature activities since the lockdown began and he loves seeing wild animals. After about ten minutes of walking, Stan finally sees his friends waiting for him right beside the big pond. Deep inside, Stan is very emotionally joyful to see his pals in person for the first time in over a year.

   Stan smiling: What’s up, guys!

   Kenny smiling: Stan! No time no see! How’s it going?

   Stan: Aside from dealing with my crappy dad, I’m doing good now.

   Kyle: Glad to hear, dude.

   Stan each gives Kyle and Kenny a bro hug, and then gives Cartman a pat on the back.

   Stan: So, Cartman, sorry if I didn’t the chance to check up on you after the huge news was announced. How did you react to it?

   Cartman: I can’t believe that we have to go back to school so soon! *gets pissed off*

   Kyle: He didn’t take too well. You know how he hates school more anyone.

   Stan: *laughs* I can tell. Still the same old fatass as I last saw him.

   Cartman: Up to this point, I’m considering going back to homeschooling.

   Kenny: I don’t think your mom is gonna let you do that again. Not after on how you did it last time.

   Cartman: You mean how my old monkey beat the shit out of you during that time? *chuckles a bit*

   Kenny annoyed: Don’t remind me.

   Stan: Can you at least think of one thing that you missed from being at school?

   Cartman: Hmmm, nope. Not a single fucking thing.

   Kyle: What about Sloppy Joe day?

   Cartman: ………God Damn it!

   Kenny: You gotta admit, the school cafeteria’s cooking may suck pretty often, but at least their sloppy Joe does taste really good.

   Cartman: I’ll agree to that.

   Stan: Well, aside from returning to school, I’m also pretty excited to see new movies in the big screen again.

   Kyle excited: Hell yeah! I’m so ready to see those new Marvel movies!

   Stan: Me too.

   Kenny: Me three.

   Cartman: Ha! Those movies are never gonna be as good as their previous ones. I think Marvel’s days in the movie business are gonna be numbered.

   Kyle: Oh, I don’t think so, fatass. Comic book films grabs a lot of moviegoers’ attention in these days. No matter how good or bad each of their film gets, they’ll always be making a lot of money.

   Cartman: Whatever. Now that new Jackass movie, that’s definitely my kind of movie.

   Kenny: Those movies honestly makes me shiver.

   Stan: Why dude?

   Kenny: Let’s just say that some secrets are worth keeping to yourself for now. Anyway, the one upcoming movie for me that matters most is the new Suicide Squad movie.

   Cartman: You only care about Suicide Squad is because you think Margot Robbie is super hot as Harley Quinn.

   Kenny: Shut up! I just think she’s an awesome character is all.

   Kyle: What about you, Stan? What movie are you most excited for?

   Stan: Just two. Dune, and that new Jurassic World movie.

   Cartman: Of course you’re always excited for any movie that involves dinosaurs.

   Stan: Dude, you have no idea on how incredible they were back then. Dinosaurs were just as diverse as any group of animal today. Some were just as small as chickens, and others became large enough that still to this day holds the record of on being the largest land animal to ever walk the Earth!

   Cartman: *fakes yawns himself* Stan, you know how the rest of us don’t give two shits when it comes to those now extinct dumb reptiles.

   Stan: Shut the hell up, fatass! They’re not as dumb as you think. In fact, I bet you’ll lose to a Troodon in a puzzle game.

   Kyle: I’m no dinosaur fan myself, but even I know well that you’re more likely to lose in any competition against a Troodon.

   Cartman pissed off: SHUT UP, KHAL!

   Kenny: Alright, you guys! Let’s not get into any arguments today. This is the first time where all of us are together in over a year, and I would appreciate it if we can all agree on not having anymore fights just for one day.

   Stan: Agree.

   Kyle: Same.

   Cartman: Alright, fine. But no more fat jokes or dinosaur talk for today.

   Kenny: Good. Now then, who’s ready to go to Chill’s?

   Cartman: That’s more like it! I seriously need to have their Tostitos chips so badly.

   Kyle: Of course you need to have those chips in order to start a sumo wrestling career. 

   Cartman: Khal, what did I just tell ya!

   Kyle: *laughs pretty hard* Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

   Stan sighs himself.

   Kenny: Are you okay, dude?

   Stan: I understand onto why you guys aren’t into dinosaurs or any other paleontology stuff as much as me, but still, I wish that I can have at least one friend that’ll either appreciate or even have the same love for dinosaurs as I do.

   Kenny: I’m very sure that you’ll across with someone that’ll not just have at least some appreciation to dinosaurs, but that person could also have some more similarities with you than you’ll ever expect.

   Stan: I hope you’re right, Ken. I would love for it to happen sooner than later.

   While Stan and his friends all head to Chill’s for lunch, a huge moving truck is parked next to a house that once belonged to the Marsh family. A car parks into its drive way, and then one of the car’s door is opened. It was Lydia. Her family had finally reached to their new home.

   Lydia: South Park sure does have wonderful viewing of the mountains from down here.

   She takes some pictures of the mountains with her camera.

   Charles: Pumpkin, we need some help over here to unpack.

   Lydia: Coming, father.

   She first grabs a big box that’s filled with her horror movie collection as she enters into her new home, and then walks upstairs.

   Lydia: Which room is mine?

   Delia: Choose between either the one room that has the grey rug, or the other room that has the blue-green mix coloring rug.

   Lydia: Okay.

   She first enters into what was once Shelly’s room. While she did liked the grey rug, the room didn’t have a good window viewing of the mountains because it’s blocked by a next door neighbor house, and its closet was too small for her. Lydia then goes into Stan’s old bedroom. The room has a better window view of the mountains, and a closet that’s more suited to fit in a lot of her stuff.

   Lydia: I’m taking the room that has the blue-green mix coloring rug.

   Delia: Alrighty then. I’ll be taking the other room for my art gallery.

   Lydia: Sounds good then, mother.

   Meanwhile outside, Stan and his friends were on their bikes as he noticed a huge truck that seems to be parked close to his old house.

   Stan: What the hell? Guys, hold on just a second.

   Kyle: What is it, dude?

   Stan: I really need to see this.

   Stan rides off as his friends follows from behind, and as he got close enough to see what’s going, he was in such disbelief. A moving truck is parked right beside off his old front yard, huge art sculpts were being brought into the house, and he even notices a couple of a red haired woman and a blonde man. He can hear them talking.

   Charles: Which room did our daughter take?

   Delia: The one room that has a nice view of the rocky mountains and the blue-green mix coloring rug.

   Charles: So I guess that means you’ll be taking the other room for your art collection?

   Delia: I’m so excited to get started on some of my new sculpt works.

   Charles: Just don’t forget that we promised our pumpkin to make her a dark room for her photos works, okay?

   Delia: Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about that, Charles. *laughs a bit*

   Stan couldn’t believe it for what he was hearing. His old house, the very place in which he spend nearly his entire life at, can no longer return there because it now belongs to a new family. He begins to tear up.

   Kenny: Stan? 

   Stan sobbing: I…I… I need to be alone for a while.

   He rides off without his friends.

   Kyle: Stan, wait!

   They catch up to him.

   Kyle: Dude, let’s pull over and talk about this.

   Stan pulls over right by the bus stop sign, and then his friends pulls over too.

   Kyle: Stan, we’re all so sorry for just seeing on what happened over there. We’ve all dreamed of you returning here someday, and we’re now just as heartbroken as you are.

   Stan sobbing: That place right there, it was my most favorite place to be at in the entire world. Some of my most favorite memories were build in that house. It was also where I got started to make my life worth something. But now that place no longer exist. It has been taken away from me. All I have now to live at is in that fucking hellish place that is called Tegridy Farms! MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE IS NOW FOREVER RUINED!!! *breaks into tear*

   Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all look at Stan in a disheartening look. Kenny steps in to comfort him.

  Kenny: Stan, buddy. I may not be the greatest friend that you ever had, but damn it, if there’s anything that can break my heart so deep, it’s seeing any of my family and friends in such an emotional break down. Life isn’t always far, and we’ve all experience at least once a while. But we can’t also let that moment take over our lives forever. We have to carry on with our lives as it still has a lot of more great fun surprising moments ahead of us. And we promise to make your life as very well worth it as we can.

   Stan clams himself down and then clears off his tears.

   Stan: Thank you, Kenny. And you’re not by all means a terrible friend. You always have our backs when you need you most, you’re really fun to hang out with, and you’re such a pro in cheering people up. And for those reasons, I’m very grateful to have you as a wonderful friend.

  Kenny smiling: Ah, come here!

   Stan gives Kenny a huge hug as Kyle and Cartman also joins in.

  Cartman: Tell you what dude, while we’re at Chill’s, you can talk to us about anything you want. We’ll even listen if you have to say anything about dinosaurs.

   Kyle: And today’s lunch is on all three of us.

   Stan smiling: Thanks, you guys. Let’s now have our lunch.

   Kenny: Lead us the way, Stan.

   Stan leads his friends to Chill’s as he puts on a joyful look on his face even though deep inside, he’s still emotionally broken about his old house.

   Meanwhile at the Deetzes’ new home, several hours later after unpacking everything and setting up her new room, Lydia was now at last all settled in.

   Lydia: Phew, I’m glad that everything is now in place. Time to give BJ a call. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

   Beetlejuice pops up as he was having himself some beetle themed chips.

   Beetlejuice: Babes! I’m glad to see your face again that isn’t just another picture frame.

   Lydia: Welcome to my new room, Beetlejuice. What do you think of it?

   Beetlejuice takes a look around at Lydia’s new room. Her bed sits at where Stan’s bed used to be at, has a huge 5 shelf book case where she keeps all of her horror films and books at, her mirror and desk are placed at across to where her bed was at, and has a Dracula movie poster placed at her closet door. While checking out the new room, Beetlejuice couldn’t help but feel of it being a bit smaller than her old room.

   Beetlejuice: Lyds, I don’t mean to complain, but this room feels smaller than your old room. 

   Lydia: Yeah, I know. The only bedroom in this house that’s just as big as my old room is the master bedroom, but that room is now occupied by my parents.

   Beetlejuice: Well, that sucks. I don’t even know how long it’ll take me to get used to flying around a room this small. *bumps his head against the wall* Bumping your head, you know I hate it.

   Lydia: This room may not be perfect, but it at least has a wonderful viewing of the rocky mountains from my window.

   Beetlejuice checks out the window viewing of South Park and the mountains.

   Beetlejuice: Hmmm, those mountains sure can use a face. *uses his powers to give the rocky mountains each a face of Sylvester Stallone* Now I can officially rename those mountains as Mount Rocky Balboas. *laughs*

   Lydia: Beetlejuice!

   Beetlejuice: Sorry, sorry. You know how I gotta be myself all the time. *removes the faces off from the mountains* So anyways, how was your road trip?

   Lydia: It went pretty well. For much of the time, I was reading some of Edgar Allan Poe’s books while listening to music from my iPod. Including some by our old rock ’n roll band.

   Beetlejuice: Ah yes, the Brides of Funkenstein. *changes himself into Betty Juice while playing the drums* I’m getting dangerous, yeah!

   Lydia: Prudence sure was a pretty badass singer. *laughs*

   Beetlejuice: Ah, those were the days, Babes.

   Lydia: Anyway, during our road trip, we made one special pit stop at the Field Museum in Chicago that I’ve always dreamed of going to.

   Beetlejuice: What did you see over there? I imagine that it must’ve had a special exhibit on radioactive bugs.

   Lydia: Not exactly. While it did have a nice exhibit on bugs, the main reason onto why I wanted to go there so badly is because they have some of the most incredible fossil collection in America. Including fossils of extinct arthropods, mammoths, and one of the best known dinosaur fossil in the world, Sue the T. Rex.

   Beetlejuice: You never told me that you were into dinosaurs and paleontology, Babes.

   Lydia: Before I enter into the first grade, I was pretty much a big dinosaur buff. I used often read dinosaur books that had a lot of illustrations in it, watch those old Land Before Time movies, and I even had a stuff Brontosaurus that I named Belle. Dinosaurs will always hold a special place in my heart no matter what other hobbies I get into as I grow up.

   Beetlejuice: Well, if you still love dinosaurs a lot, then I’ll have to take you to a place call Extinction National Park.

   Lydia: Extinction National Park?

   Beetlejuice: It’s one of the few handful of national parks that still exists in the Netherworld. It’s where all the extinct species of plants and animals that used to live on Earth coexist together no matter what time period they’re from. It includes all extinct marine animals, giant insects, ice age animals, and yes, even the dinosaurs themselves.

   Lydia: Sounds freaking awesome!

   Beetlejuice: I haven’t been over there ever since shortly before I met you, although I still keep hearing from people that it still exist. The last time that I was over there was when I played a game of mud ball fight against those Woolly Mammoths and then after beating them, I rolled myself against their smelly fur for a couple hours.

   Lydia: We definitely need to make a trip over someday, but I sadly can’t do it right now.

   Beetlejuice: Why the hell not?

   Lydia: Because I gotta get started on getting ready for my first day of school here. And I would even like to explore on South Park has to offer.

   Beetlejuice: Can I tag along with you while exploring this town? Oh please, please, please, please, please!!

   Delia: *calling from downstairs* Lydia, we brought over pizza home for dinner!

   Lydia: Coming, mother! Sorry, Beetlejuice. We’re discuss this a little later tonight.

   Beetlejuice: Bring over a slice for me when you come back up, Lyds. I’ll like to add in some of my smelly beetles with it.

   Lydia: *giggles* Sure thing, BJ. See you in bit.

   As Lydia leaves, Beetlejuice was all alone in the bedroom. He looks through the window as he sees someone outside. It was Cartman riding on his bike while singing Carrie Underwood’s popular song: Before He Cheats.

   Beetlejuice: Woah, now that’s one big fatass kid. And here I thought that I’ve been putting on the weight myself pretty badly. 

   In the next chapter, Stan and Lydia meet each other for the first time.