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changisworld · 6 months ago

Text

A helping hand

Felix x f!reader

Word count:6,227

Summary: Felix is addicted to masterbating & also sex. But despite his addictions, he hasn’t got laid in over a year & has to use his hand but he has now gotten bored with it. He has tried different toys, DIY tricks etc but it’s just not the same, so he caves in one night & signs up to one of the “single ladies in your area” adverts out of complete desperation after clicking on it by accident. not thinking in case he gets a million more porn viruses, but he ends up talking to someone he thinks is even more attractive than him, you.

->Authors note at bottom!

18+ MDNI, SMUT WARNINGS BELOW THE CUT.

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

SMUT WARNINGS: NEEEEDDDDYYY felix, felix cums a LOT& i mean a LOT, multiple orgasms(both rec), switch reader, switch felix, spit, oral (both rec), 69, facesitting, ball sucking, slliiiiggghhhtttt anal play(felix rec), body worship, squirting, hair pulling, very brief masterbating, slight overstimulation, cum eating, creampie, tiniest bit of dirty talk, praise, finger sucking, aftercare is mostly off screen! 90% smut 10% plot (sorry nawt sorry)

Felix has been scrolling through pornhub & also twitter for hours. He has gotten two hundred pages down into pornhub & can't help but grumble to himself, his cock red & angry now resting on his lower stomach, a few, small ropes of cum spread across his abs & for him, that's nothing.

He scratches the underside of his cock with his nails in a slow motion, trying to give himself a tiny bit of stimulation.

He keeps aimlessly scrolling through the pages upon pages of videos but he is barely even reading the titles, his eyes getting bored & he ends up focusing on the bunch of stupid adverts at the top of the page & he watches the same clip replaying over & over & he clicks on the video right below the advert a second later, the thumbnail catching his attention for the first time in forever.

The video takes a second to load & another advert comes up & he sighs, before realising it's the same advert from the top of the screen. He goes to press the 'skip advert' button but accidently clicks on the actual advert & it takes him onto a website.

He goes to just click off of it, but something... someone catches his his eye.

The website is styled like an early 2000's porn magazine, pictures of women with descriptions below, a small text box beneath each where you can leave your own message for the women to get back to you.

He decides to just scroll down a few, when a specific girl stands out to him, a girl called y/n. In the picture given, you're wearing a lacey black bra & panties set, your body & face on full display.

He takes a brief look at your description: "*YOUR AGE*, no hard no's, feel free to message me, I won't bite unless you ask me to<3" & Felix feels almost compelled to text you. He signs up to the website, not even bothering to think if it's a scam website & could steal all his information before setting his profile picture, his name, age & bio up before sending you a message.

Felix's description: "Into absolutely everything. I dom & sub, I'm not picky!:3 You name it, I'm into it!" He decides to keep it short, not wanting to add too much in case with his luck, one of his friends, almost as desperate as he is, coming across his account somehow.

Felllx2000: Aren't u too pretty to be here?

Felix texts you, not wanting to sound like a weirdo, he goes to click out of your name & scroll further down the site when he sees a speech bubble at the bottom of the screen, you already typing back.

You: Shouldn't I be asking you the same? you look so innocent, what you doing on here? Felllx2000: looks are deceiving then lol, i'm anything but that:3 You: I seen your bio, you seem like fun, whats brought you here? Felllx2000: came here on accident lol but i dont regret it now, do u have any more pics of u?? You: aww you're just a cutie<3 ofc I do, I'm supposed to make you pay for images since only the texting part is meant to be free but you're just a beautiful boy so one wont hurt. You:Imag.ddxi41g

Felix's eyes widen at the image, you're posing in the mirror in another set of lingerie, this time a hot pink set, making your curves look as good as possible, your hand cupping the bottom of one of your tits & you are sticking your tongue out.

Felix's cock jumps up from his stomach for the first time all night & a few of his fingers reach down to fondle the tip of his dick, eyes narrowing slightly at the sensation.

Felllx2000:can i be a beg & ask for another? ur so hot it hurts You: You're really a desperate boy aren't you? Why not you send me something of you first n i can decide if i'll send anything else ;)

Felix reads this & is instantly flicking onto his camera roll & selecting multiple photos of himself, photos of his aching leaky cock, photos of his abs & even a full body shot before sending it.

You, on the other side of the phone, your jaw drops when he sends the photos & the sleep clothes you're wearing all of a sudden feeling far too tight on your body. You go back into your camera roll & dig out a pussy picture, your fingers in a 'V' shape, spreading your hole & your clit visible, a shimmer noticeable, the photo taken after you did a private show for another texter (you made over £950 that night) since you were a bit too sleepy to take a brand new picture since it's 2am for you both.

Felix's cock pulsates, this being the first time he's actually received nudes for the first time in months & he begins to actually jerk off into his hand, all of a sudden he is actually getting the tiniest bit of sensation to his cock as he admires the photo.

Felllx2000: y/n ur making me nuts holy shit You: Feelings mutual sweetie, u jerking off for me? Felllx2000: thats a silly question of course i am, wish it was you though</3 You: you gonna cum just from a few pictures hmm? why you so needy? do you not get female attention, pretty? Can I ask what your body count is gorgeous? with a face like that you can easily be married by now. Felllx2000: noooo;( my hand doesn't bring me anything good, want someone else, want u. It's 3, I just dont get the chance! im good in bed though, id luv to prove it! ;0 You: Your neediness turns me on so much babe, what is it you want me to do to you? I want to kiss your pretty face off n ride you till you cry, your cock is so beautiful, so pink

You can't help but smile at your screen & you shut your phone off & you crawl out your bed & hop in the shower, taking the extra time to use extra body scrubs & scents as you feel a bit nervous of what you are gonna do, in the meantime, felix has began blowing up your phone.

Felllx2000:Want u to wrap ur lips around me so much;( want to fuck u so bad, i can last so long y/n, u have no idea Felllx2000: would let u wrap ur thighs around my head, pull my hair, i can be so good for you if u want me tooooo<3 Felllx2000: where u gone?:( did i scare u? im sorry, u dont need to respond.

You hop out the shower & dry your hair as quick as you can & you lift your phone that's half hidden in your bedsheets & you see the messages he sent & your eyebrows furrow a bit.

You: Don't be so silly, nothing that comes from your pretty face could scare me. You free right now?

Felix opens that text almost instantly & his eyes instantly widen, his hand freezing on his cock as he just stares at the words.

Felllx2000: I am why? you sound nearly as desperate as me

You: Well if you're really that desperate for me, we can exchange numbers & talk more n meet up hmm? & don't get cheeky lmao, calling me desperate compared to you! silly silly but i wont deny it;)

Felllx2000: right now? it says we are 6km apart so i can pick u up? or when? idk i dont do this idk how to acttt, you're making me blush You: Sounds fine hunny, we need to switch app because if we somehow get caught n you didnt pay id get in shit lmao, we arent allowed to meet people irl but theres just something about you, gimme your number pretty please

Felix springs up in bed & sends you his number quicker than you can blink & you text his number & he replies just as quick & his heart is racing at the thought... he's maybe gonna actually hook up with someone???

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You both decide to text for a few days, mostly to secure your own safety in a way & you facetimed once or twice, which actually ended up in phone sex both times & you now discovered it's a huge kink of yours.

You have mostly been waiting on Felix to get more comfortable as you can tell he is the more nervous one, unsurprisingly, but tonight is the night.

You've learned a few things about Felix, one of them being when he told you his name, but he also pretty much explained to you his... addiction & you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on but also scare you slightly, what if you genuinely can't please him? you've never met anyone from the site in real life & you can't help but get butterflies knowing you're hooking up with felix tonight, possibly the hottest guy you've ever spoken to point blank.

Felix texts you to tell you he is on your way, both of you deciding to meet at your house since his small, man cave, standard gamerboy slightly messy apartment who he shares with his roommate Changbin is home.

You light a candle in your lounge area & put a loose top & sleep shorts on top of your chosen set & you put on the tiniest bit of makeup, still wanting to look good for him despite it being close to 1am.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You hear a few knocks on your door twenty minutes later & you feel your heart coming out your throat but you do your best to swallow it as you waltz your way to the front door, putting on a brave face, taking a deep breath before opening it.

Felix & you both look at each other & smile, Felix wearing a pair of grey sweatpants & a matching hoodie, his blonde hair slightly messy. You whisper a 'hi' to one another, being quiet to not let the words echo in the apartment stairway, before you move aside for him to enter.

You shut the door behind him & you instantly flip around to look at one another again.

"Surprised you actually showed up, do you want a drink or anything?" you ask, giving him a smirk as you close the distance between you both & tease him by taking his hand in yours & guiding him to the living room, plopping him down on the couch, but he pulls you down with him.

"I'll drink later, c'mere." he remarks as he helps you onto his lap so you're straddling him & his lips lock with yours instantly, the kiss full of need from the both of you, you realising you've been lacking physical touch a fraction of the amount Felix has been.

His hands trail down to your waist & then ass, kneading it like a cat in his short fingers as he helps you begin grinding your hips against him & you can already feel his cock hard beneath the layers of clothes, making your eyebrows furrow.

You take the initiative & you begin poking your tongue through his puffy pink lips & he groans into it, the pair of you both now exchanging spit, the noise of your lips smacking together ringing through both of your ears.

You wriggle your fingers through his hair before you pull back on it, pulling his lips away from yours & he lets out a deep groan before you look at him, a mischievous look on your face before you lean down slightly & begin kissing his jawline & neck, using your teeth to nip at it, making him roll his hips onto your covered crotch, his hands fighting the urge to dig his hands past the waistband of your shorts.

You wriggle your hips slightly backwards to make more room for you to kiss his neck & your hands below his hoodie & you quickly make the note that he has no shirt beneath the hoodie he is wearing & you graze your fingers over his solid abs.

"& you said I was the desperate one, can I take these off?" he groans, his voice raspy as he tries to sound fully composed but failing. You lean back enough & raise your hips enough to wiggle off the shorts he was referring to, giggling as his eyes become glued to your covered core.

"Don't get cheeky Felix, you're the one pawing at me." you giggle as you pull his hoodie off his frame, leaving him naked on the top half & you basically naked on the bottom half.

You usher Felix to lay flat on the couch & you climb back on top of him & you plant some kisses on his now naked chest & you take one of his pretty, dark nipples in your mouth & you lightly bite, making him wince at the feeling has he keeps jerking his hips upwards, seeking even a tiny bit extra friction, which you decide you'll give him.

You give him a look as your fingers are playing with the drawstrings on his joggers & he just nods, giving you a non verbal sign that you can take them off, & you do, Felix raising his hips just enough for you to fully pull them off his milky coloured legs.

You hum in approval at the bulge in his underwear, the front part completely soaked with precum & you make quick progress of pulling his boxers off to, leaving him feeling desperate & he hums at the cold air hitting his wet tip, his cock harder & more leaky than it has been in his whole life.

"I thought nothing got you to orgasm anymore but your pretty balls look as if they're about to explode." you quip & he covers his eyes with his arm momentarily out of slight embarrassment.

"That's only when it's me, when it's you in front of me why would anyone be surprised." he squeaks, his stomach lurching forward as you take his pretty, boyfriend sized, chubby cock in your hand & hold it with a firm grip, using your thumb & index finger to pinch lightly at his piss slit, watching his cock leak precum like a broken faucet.

"What is it you're wanting Lixie, hmm?" you question, your hand painfully slowly jerking him off, more precum dripping every time your hand moves. "Tongue, please?" he pleads, his puppy eyes looking down at you & as much as you want to drag it out, your willpower already completely out the window & you chuckle at his desperate face before you ingulf his tip past your lips.

You use your hand to keep jerking off the base of his cock, his trimmed, straight pubes tickling the part of the hand that is grazing them & your other hand slithers down the extra tiny bit before you cup his balls, rolling them in your fingers & the moan the man under you lets out a load whine.

You swirl your tongue around his tip before sinking down his now completely soaked with spit cock, your drool dripping onto his balls, giving him goosebumps. You quickly come up for a breath & spit out the gallons of drool that hasn't been pushed out from his cock pistoning into your mouth & you take this opportunity to suckle on his balls, pulling on them with your lips gently, making Felix squeal as you continue rolling the other half in his hand. You catch your breath back as much as you can while doing this then you pull your lips off his balls & blow some cold air on them, making his cock twitch in your hand, before returning it into your mouth.

His hips jerk up on accident but when you moan around his cock, sending vibrations up his spine, he begins to thrust shallowly into your throat & you gurgle around him, your eyes not breaking eye contact with his, not even an ounce of embarrassment in your face despite the mess.

"Gonnagonna cum, d- you're so good." he groans as his hair begins sticking to his face as his eyes struggle & then failing to keep his eyes open as his tip spills ropes of cum out of it & landing right into your throat & you moan around his cock, moving your head up so you're only suckling on the tip as you swallow four separate mouthfuls of his orgasm & you can feel the wetness almost leaking out from your panties.

You pull fully off his dick & you aren't even that surprised that his cock is still completely hard. You open your mouth to make fun of the fact but Felix cuts you off by pulling you up towards him so you are now sat on his lower stomach & pulling your shirt off your head, leaving you in just your set & felix whines at the sight.

"Need to eat you out, I'm genuinely dying to taste you." he states as he pulls on the tiny tiny waistband of your thong & you just giggle at his words & crawl up his frame even more so your cunt is right above his face & he looks up at you with his jaw slightly open & his eyes watering.

"Really Lixie? I'll give it to you because I pity your desperation." you say, slight attitude & sarcasm in your voice as you lower yourself onto his face, your panties still covering where you both want to see & feel the most.

Felix begins to kitten lick your clit over your panties & he hums to himself at the tiniest faint taste of your juice that's seeping through your underwear & you purr at the sensation, trying your hardest to not begin grinding against his face, but when he is now pushing & pulling on your waist, you do just that.

Felix decides that your underwear is now soaked through enough with his own saliva & gets one of his small fingers & he pushes your panties to the side & he lets out a pitiful gasp.

"Your cunt is so pretty, it's soaking, shit." he murmurs, more to himself than he is to you before he digs in, pulling your body onto his face as much as he possibly can as he licks a long, wide strip up your entire cunt before settling his tongue on your puffy clit, suckling on it as if his life depends on it & you can't help but hiss at the pleasure.

He laps his tongue in tiny circles around your button as he sucks at the same time, making you feel as if you are on cloud nine. "No way this-you're this good if you're as inexperienced as-as you made out to be." You stammer, your eyes scrunched shut & your head raised up at the ceiling as your fingers find their way to his hair to tug on it, making him jerk his hips & whimper into your cunt.

He moves one of his hands from your waist & gives your ass a quick but harsh spank, making you jerk as forward as you can with his grip still holding you in place as his hand makes its way down to where his mouth is & he enters two fingers into your dripping hole & your stomach lurches & your body slightly curls forwards & you find balance in Felix's hair & he honestly has no issue with the way you are pulling on it, moaning back into your cunt which shoots right through you.

"Gonna c-cum, wait." you force out before you use all your strength to raise yourself off his completely soaked face, his lips red & puffy & his hair all dishevelled & you boop his nose, giving him a small smile through staggered breath as you do your best to flip your body around so you're now facing the rest of his body & Felix lets out a groan before pulling you back down onto his face, him already addicted to your taste & can't go s minute without it.

You grind down on his face, the bottom part of your pussy lips hitting against his nose, making you purr. You fully open your eyes & notice there's a puddle of cum on his abs, even whiter than his skin. "You c-came untouched, I'm fla-flattered." you blabber as you reach out for his cock & begin to jerk it, obviously still hard despite a second orgasm.

Felix chuckles into your cunt & his ears go a slight shade of red, a bit shy at how quickly you have managed to make him cum in such a small amount of time. You put the tip of his cock past your lips & hollow your cheeks, swirling your tongue as best as you can as your mind is going fuzzy by now.

You hum at a mixture of the taste of precum & also at the feeling Felix is providing you & you can feel your orgasm slowly bubbling up so you coat your finger in your own spit before you begin lightly pinching his balls, making him whimper into your cunt & he detaches himself from your pussy momentarily.

"Fingers, fingers y/n p-please., fingers." he squeaks to you, his voice completely blown out before he gets back to what he was doing, his brain running at a million miles an hour & his tongue moving even quicker, because despite the lack of women he has been with, he knows how to eat.

He latches his lips & tongue onto yours & suckles as he worms his tongue into your hole & your legs begin to shake & you take a second to compose yourself after listening to his words & you use the hand that was just jerking off his soaking cock & switch it to your other hand & you use your now shiny hand & you roll it down towards where he was asking, making sure to put a bit extra pressure on his balls as you drag it down.

You use your index finger & swirl it around his pucker & Felix lets out a squeal at the feeling & his dick twitches in your mouth & his hips buck up slightly making you gag but you don't pull off. As he does this, his teeth accidentally clamp down slightly on your pussy lips & that plunges you to your first orgasm of the night & your hips completely raise off his face from the overstimulation as your orgasm squirts out of you, soaking his face & hair, dripping off onto your now wet couch & he has to forcefully kickstart his brain & pulls you off his cock as your body stops tensing up so much.

"S-sorry, didn't know I c-could even do tha-" you whimper, panting. "Heyyyy don't apologise, that's the hottest thing I have ever ever seen." Felix cuts you off before he kisses you, your own orgasm now transferring onto your face & you groan into his lips at such a dirty yet hot act.

"You wanna keep going? We don't need to or anything, no pressure!" He blabbers out, glossy eyes looking into your completely blown out ones. "You can actually keep going? I'm surprised, follow me." You respond, giving him a cheeky smile as you use all your strength to properly balance yourself as you stand up & take Felix's hand, giggling as you lead him across your vanilla smelling apartment, the naked, cum soaked & sweaty blonde following your lead, letting his other hand wander over your frame, holding your waist & giving your ass a spank.

Felix kicks the bedroom door shut behind him, only taking a second to admire the decorations in your bedroom before he is plopping you on the bed & getting on top of you, his hand resting on the bed beside your head as he uses his other hand to start toying with your clit gently, not wanting to overstimulate you too much & your hips thrust towards his fingers on instinct.

"Put it in, Felix, please, want it inside." you purr, your hand grazing over his abs with your nails before grabbing onto his still hard cock & pumping it slowly, it still being wet with your spit & his hips jerk into your hand, a growl coming from his chest, spit almost leaving his lips.

"Really? Your cunt seems more than happy with just my finger, soaking for me." he smirks as he bites his bottom lip, trying to not let his own moan slip out from how turned on he actually is as he speeds up his motion on your clit in a messy manner, the wetness making his fingers slightly slip. "Please Lix, don't you want it?" you ask as a rhetorical question as your breath is staggering, trying to get more friction from his small fingers & Felix chuckles lightly as he begins blushing.

"You got a con-" "just use it without, I'm on the pill, promise." you speak up, a convincing look in your eyes. Felix nods & tries to compose himself with the nerves, honestly scared if he is gonna cum almost instantly.

He spreads your legs a bit further with his knee as he leans backwards on his knees, his cock poking the inside of your thigh as he kisses the parts of your legs he can reach while you're holding them & you melt into his kisses. "You're so pretty, want you to myself." he murmurs, mostly to himself but he doesn't take his eyes off yours & your ears turn as red as your cheeks.

"Then take me, I'm waiting on you." you remark, biting your lip as you smile up at him, silently praying his cock will slip inside you & not just poke against it. Felix's freckles become surrounded by a rosey colour & he moves his cock with his hand & drags it up & down your folds, making you both sigh in contempt.

You can both hear the light squelching sounds as his cock grinds through your wetness & it bumps against your clit every time his cock moves, making you grow beyond impatient & you reach down to try nudge his penis but he swats your hand away before you can reach it.

"Don't be so pushy, I'm about to cum as it is." he half jokes & you giggle at his words & he returns the action as he lets a glob of spit fall directly onto your cunt & it clenches around air as it dribbles down your clit & Felix sighs to himself at the sight as he pumps himself few times, slowly before he aligns himself up & slowly pushes himself inside until his balls hit against your skin & he whines as he feels your warmth, taking in the feeling of how tight & wet you still are despite an orgasm.

Your toes curl as he buries himself to the hilt, him filling you in such a delicious way, not too deep that it's uncomfortable but you can still feel it already snuggled up against your G-spot & you're honestly surprised he hasn't came yet with how desperate he's been all night.

"You're filling me up so well Lixie, m-move please." you plead & Felix has to take a moment to collect himself, he is honestly shocked that you have lasted this long, usually, the very few girls he has been with & his one short term ex would be falling asleep after giving him one orgasm or two maximum, not letting him to fully ever tire himself out so for someone he has met online only no longer than ten days ago who is actually able to keep up with him, he thinks it's a complete match made in heaven & he thinks his endless prayers have been answered.

Felix holds his breath as he moves his hips backwards before pushing back in, watching your face before picking up the pace. "Y-you look so pretty, p-perfect tits." he babbles as he stares at them, his eyes switching between your face & your boobs bouncing with each thrust, his lips parted & also shiny with his spit from where he has been constantly licking at them, his bottom one a bit redder than the top from where he has been nibbling at it all night.

"Go harder, p-please, you're s-so beauti, fuck." you stutter, your fingers reaching to pinch your nipples, your eyes going cross eyed, your pussy completely gushing wetness around Felix's base, clenching uncontrollably.

Felix growls at your words as he picks up his pace & he lets out a high pitched squeal as he pulls out & cums, it landing all over your lower stomach & a few drops landing just under your tits.

Felix pants & you remove one of your hands from your nipple & drag it down to smother the tip of your fingers in his orgasm & you hold it up to his lips & he looks down at you, a devilish look in his eyes as he opens his mouth that tiny bit extra to accept your fingers & you both hum in unison as he swallows around your fingers, letting out a hum of satisfaction.

You both don't break away eye contact as you flip you both over so you're now straddling him & Felix realises he is actually getting softer after orgasms & he basically has heart shaped eyes. "Still hard? You really are inane, match made in heaven." you purr, slightly repositioning so your bare cunt is resting on his slightly softened cock, but it really doesn't take long for it to get hard enough again as your pussy snuggs itself right on top of it.

"I told you I can go all night, You're just too good." He replies, his blonde hair wet with sweat & sticking to his pretty face & you hum at his words. "Do you think you can handle one more, hmm?" you ask, already reaching back to fondle his balls again & he nods instantly, his facial expression going back to a needy, desperate one straight away & you can't help but giggle as you pick up his pretty, red cock in your hand again before sinking back down onto your new favourite thing you've ever touched or saw.

You sink back down until your bodies fully connect & a shiver shoots up your spine & you let out a broken hum as you use whatever strength you somehow have to begin moving your hips in a comfortable way as you begin bouncing, laying your hands on Felix's abs for support, not failing to admire how good they look & feel.

"Holy shit, like-just like that y/n, why are you s-so good, shoulda met way-s-sooner" he rambles as his hands become restless, dragging over your ass, tummy, waist, tits & he drags his fingers over your nipples, making you hiss at the feeling.

"Cum with me, mkay? Paint me inside too, dare ya" you cry, your eyes struggling to stay open as you have to physically stop yourself from flopping forwards but its no use as he latches his arms around your back & pulls you towards him & plants his feet to the floor & uses the rest of his little energy to begin fucking up into you at a harsh pace, making you squeal.

You unbury your face from his neck & you lock lips with him & you both exchange drool, it having a slightly salty taste from his own cum he suckled from your digits just a few minutes ago as felix starts to rub over your left nipple, pinching it & it makes you yelp.

You begin clenching uncontrollably & you start to struggle to kiss him back & your legs begin to feel like jelly & start to give out & if it wasn't for felix basically holding you in place you wouldn't even be moving. "F-felix, fuck, yes! go'n cum, s-so-too good" you wail, your eyes scrunched together as you break your lips apart due to none of you actually being able to breathe, both of your lips a way darker shade, your lips & chins covered in each others drool by this point.

"Cum inside? It's comi-coming, s-shit, you g-gonna take it all?" he stutters, his brain trying its hardest to float away & he is basically forcing himself to keep even a single thought inside. "yes, please, please pl-please! I'll be so good, keep it in for you, c-can eat it out me later" you respond, your pussy dripping a white ring around his base, soaking his pubes.

"G- such a good g-girl, it's c-coming, cumming." He screeches in s raspy voice & as his cock pulsates in you as his balls drain that little bit extra & as you feel another few thick ropes up into your cervix, your own orgasm pours over you like a bucket of cold water & you let out a shriek as your entire body begins shaking in his hold & you throw your head against him & you bite into his shoulder, making him whine as his hips slow down.

You both stay like this for a minute, just catching your breath back for the most part, but you can't really help but enjoy listening to his heart racing inside his chest.

Felix slowly pulls his now actually softening cock out of you, a few droplets of both his cum & your own wetness dripping back onto his pelvis & he wraps his arms around you but then moves them down to his sides. "Are you sue you wanna hug? I-i don't need aftercare if you don't wanna do that, I know it was just casual sex." he says in a soft voice, sounding a bit upset despite trying to sound casual.

You pick your head up & look down at his pretty face & see the slight pout & confused look on your face & you 'tut' at him jokingly before you wriggle your hand under his neck & rub your nose against his neck. "Don't be so silly, Lix, i'll not just leave you after you just had four orgasms, I'll get you some water n stuff once my breath is back." you reply, weaving the hand that's resting under his neck into his soft but wet hair & fiddle with it in your fingers.

Despite you not being able to see it, Felix can't help but smile at your words as he returns his arms around you & relaxes a lot more. "You're a softie, who woulda thought. I've never had anyone or anything make me actually fully enjoy an orgasm until tonight, I'm actually drained for the first time ever." he chuckles & you can't stop yourself from softly giggling. "Glad to hear, I'm actually exhausted though so we aren't going again till I get feeling back in my body." Felix simpers at your words & nods his head.

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Felix doesn't stay the night, him not wanting to overstay & you not knowing if you should ask him or not, thinking it was too intimate to do so.

Felix leaves after another hour or so, you fed him some cereal as it was all you could be bothered to make & you gave him a bottle of water & he dug through your drawers to find some sleep clothes & helped you clean up with a damp towel from your bathroom.

You both agreed to stay in contact with each other, for sexual reasons... obviously, but you both start sending each other memes, random photos of things Felix bakes, pretty flowers you walk past on your way to work & so on... that's how its all started for you both.

A/N: I think I liked the idea of this more than it actually turned on so I'm sorry if I haven't done this as much justice as I could have done, I've been going through a lot lately with a lot of personal issues & I got admitted so I'm also sorry for not being active, I'm gonna get back on track soon enough. I have a lot of requests & I am trying to get around to them so please just be patient, feel free to send me thoughts/asks but thoughts get published first since they're a lot smaller. I hope you all enjoyed this piece though if you've reached this far<3

->Anon list: Open!

->Taglist: Open!

#felix x reader #skz smut #stray kids #stray kids felix #felix smut #lee felix #felix #skz felix #straykids x reader #straykids smut #straykids #skz scenarios #skz #skz x reader #kpop smut #smut

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dirtysvthoughts · 1 year ago

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ur gymrat boyfriends <3

tags/warnings: smut, pwp, female! reader, boyfriend! wonwoo, boyfriend! jihoon, poly! relationship, pet names (baby, honey, princess, my darlings), literally one mention of ass smacking, reader gets fully nude, wonwoo and jihoon are gymrats (kinda obvious lol), dirty talk, pussy eating - but guess who though 👀, sorta kinda wall & mirror sex? you’ll see, wonwoo kinda takes the lead in this one heheh 🤭

word count: 2.5k (i got carried away y’all, i’m so sorry this was supposed to be short 😭)

a/n: i was told several times i was a menace for coming up with this idea, so why not continue my spread of mischief 😗 i saw this pic and instantly got several thoughts running through my brain… thanks to @playmetheclassics @wonwussy and @gyuwoncheol for dealing with my nonsense 🥹

when jihoon suggested you join him and wonwoo at the gym, you were hesitant at first.

“won’t there be lots of people there? and i thought you two working out together was a you guys thing, i don’t wanna intrude on that.. we all need our own spaces,” your voice and eyes lower, but the hand your boyfriend places on your thigh immediately has your eyes staring into his.

“working out is never just a me and wonwoo thing, you’re always welcome to join us. you’ve just been too shy to tag along,” jihoon’s ruffles your hair as your eyes shift away again. “besides, we haven’t done anything with all three of us in a bit. it’ll be nice,” he pats your back as he gets up, heading towards your bathroom to take a shower.

a few days later, you take up jihoon’s offer, and decide to join him and your other boyfriend at the gym. donning a strappy black sports bra and black shorts, you enter the room your lovers are in - their bodies coming to attention once you come into the space.

“hi my darlings,” you sweetly muse as you put your things down. wonwoo immediately sets his weights to the side and approaches you, hands falling on your waist as he kisses the center of your forehead. “hey pretty girl,” he smirks as you lean further into his touch, caressing your cheek delicately with his fingertips. “i haven’t seen you in a minute, are you taking care of yourself?”

“yes, i promise,” you respond back, pressing a chaste kiss to his soft lips. wonwoo kisses you back moving his hands toward your chest - until jihoon clears his throat loudly, stopping the both of you in your tracks.

“i know you two haven’t seen each other in a while, but we do have to stay focused. wonwoo and i can’t spend all day here unfortunately, we have other schedules later on tonight.”

you sigh disappointingly, wanting more of wonwoo’s touch on you, but also realizing that jihoon was right. he did warn you in advance this morning that while the three of you would be reunited, it wouldn’t be as long as you would like it to. they could only stay at the gym for an hour until all three of you had to go your separate ways again. it had been about two weeks since all three of you were able to hang out together. who knows when the next time would be?

you then decided you just need the savor the present moments with your boyfriends.

30 more minutes pass in which all of you have worked on different body groups - your boyfriends helping each other with their chest workouts, and jihoon helping you on some of your weighted exercises, giving you tips and pointers on how to make it challenging, but not overwhelming. all three of you take a break from the exercise, getting some water as you lay down on your mat and your men sit on different benches.

“how do you guys do this everyday?” you question in astonishment. “it’s only been 30 minutes but i feel like i got in a workout for the rest of the week,” you grab your phone and scroll through some of your apps while your boyfriends laugh at your joke.

“you just gotta keep it consistent honey,” wonwoo comments. “the more you do it, the less harder it becomes.”

“and the faster you get the results you want,” jihoon adds in. “wonwoo and i didn’t get our physiques overnight. remember those late nights when one of us would have to facetime you at the gym?”

your pussy throbs at the memories jihoon unlocked for you. “how could i forget when you both unintentionally teased me with your muscles?” you murmur in your head, thinking about your last gym facetime with jihoon and how you wanted nothing more than for him to pin you down after seeing him in a tight, sleeveless black shirt, hair covering his eyes.?

“y-yeah,” you whisper biting down on your lip, quickly and tightly closing your legs to prevent the boys from catching on. “i don’t think i ever told you guys this, but i’m proud of you both for working so hard to take care of yourselves. and trust me, i definitely see the work you put in.”

wonwoo chuckles, running his hand through his hair. “i think you need to elaborate honey, what does that mean?”

you roll your eyes as you sit up, looking directly at wonwoo when your response comes out of your mouth. “i think you know what i mean, baby,” you tease as you roll up to your knees. “you and jihoon are too hot to handle,” you bite your lip as your mind continues to drown in your needy thoughts. “your arms are so built that i want to be pinned down or choked by them practically every day. when you both wear oversized shirts, you can still see the details of your chest muscles, and god, both of you have the waist of greek gods.. you’re my fucking adonises.”

“mmm, is that so honey?” wonwoo questions, but he already knows the answer. “if that’s the case, then come over here and sit on my lap, let me show you how this gym work can be put to very good use.”

you stand up, walking towards your boyfriend and when you’re close enough, gingerly putting one leg over his, making sure your pussy pressed against his crotch. once you feel situated, you begin to grind on wonwoo’s lap, hands pressing down on his shoulders, moaning at how you could feel his hardness at you just got started.

wonwoo quickly takes notice in how you were lost in pleasure, your eyes closed and your head falling back, revealing how pretty your neck and their lines looked. he takes advantage of this opportunity, and pulls you closer by the waist, holding you by your lower back. wonwoo then attaches his lips above your collarbone, pillow-like kisses heightening your sensations.

“mmmm,” you moan in ecstasy, sounds getting a bit louder as he kisses his way down to the valley of your chest. “mmm, wo’neil, more pl-please,” you reach for the nape of his neck and pull him forward to bring him to the exact spot he’s trying to reach. he smiles knowing both of you were on the same page, and starts mouthing at your breasts, leaving open kisses and licks anywhere he could.

jihoon was watching you both intently from his corner of the room, but when he heard you moan beautifully for the third time in a row and he saw wonwoo making love to your chest? he was done being a spectator. he had to join the action.

you and wonwoo are so caught up in each other that neither of you notice jihoon walking up to you both and stopping once he reaches your backside. his fingers grasp the hem of your bra and gently pull it up, causing you and wonwoo to momentarily freeze. your tilt your head back to look at your boyfriend, in a trance from how wonwoo riled you up.

“jihoon?” you question as he sits you up to pull your bra over your head, tossing it to the other side of the room.

“couldn’t let the two of you have all the fun,” he teases, now moving to touch your mounds. “such a beautiful body you have, baby,” smirking at how with every touch, your nipples got perkier.

you moan out jihoon’s name as wonwoo goes back to making you feel good with his mouth. the feeling of both of them on you has your toes curling and your panties getting wetter.

“shit, w-wonwoo, ji-jihoon,” you breathlessly whisper their names. “needed you both so bad, i missed this so much,” your last word turns into a moan when wonwoo feels up your clit through your shorts.

“jihoon, she’s so wet already,” wonwoo chuckles circling his thumb over the center of your crotch, enjoying the many noises that left your mouth. “we’ve barely even started honey, you wanna share with the class?”

“i’m practically about to make a spot on these shorts, i’m dripping wet for the both of you! take me on the floor, the wall, this fucking bench - i don’t care, i just need you both inside of me,” you desperately plead.

both of their dicks twitch at your words, and they share at look with each other. they nod their heads in agreement, and wonwoo places his thumb in your chin, ensuring all of your focus was on him.

“stand up pretty honey,” he commands, and you do, trying not to lose your balance. once you’re off wonwoo, jihoon slowly pulls your shorts down your legs, revealing the black, strappy panties you decided to wear.

amused, wonwoo trails his fingers over your waistband, pulling it away and then letting it snap against your skin. your core gushes, not expecting wonwoo playing with your panties to have such an effect on you.

“oh my god, please!” you whine. “no more teasing, i don’t think i can take it.”

jihoon laughs, pressing a kiss to your temple, fingers playing with your earlobe. “c’mon wonwoo, help me get our baby to the mirror.”

wonwoo gladly obliges, turning you around to have your back facing his chest. he helps you walk backwards as jihoon temporarily leaves you two, making sure the door was locked.

you turn your cheek toward wonwoo as his back finally presses against the reflective material, fingers slowly crawling towards your folds to touch you again - this time without any clothes blocking his way. “why do i get the feeling that you and hoon planned this before i got here?” you scoff in disbelief, but it quickly turns into another moan as wonwoo begins a scissoring motion that had your body aching for more.

“and if we did?” jihoon smirks, making his way back to you. he kneels when he gets in front of you, blowing lightly on your folds and you think you might pass out from the combined feeling of oral and physical touch in your most sensitive area.

“y-you guys are some-something el-else,” you can barely muster as jihoon begins to inhale your scent down there, groaning and mentioning how good you were going to taste.

“and i bet she would taste good too jihoon,”’wonwoo chimes in. “every time i’ve eaten you out, you’ve always filled my appetite. you’re so satisfying. you taste so sweet, pretty honey,” he brings his fingers out from inside you and brings them to your lips. without another thought, you suck dramatically on his fingers, enjoying how wonwoo pushed his fingers deeper into your mouth.

he pulls off with a pop and he goes to your chest, grabbing at any skin he could get his hands on. you press down on his hand as you brace for more, whimpering at how good it all felt.

you weren’t expecting to get louder however, and that’s when jihoon finally decides to put his mouth to use. he leaves one long lick on your clit, and your body breaks out in good shivers.

“oh my fucking god,” you breathe out, feeling like you were going to an otherworldly paradise. jihoon doesn’t stop there and continues his motions, alternating the pacing of his tongue.

“you like it when jihoon eats you out baby?” you nod frantically. “such a pretty little thing when you’re getting fucked out.. maybe i should fuck you from behind? hmm, put my tip in just a little bit and get you writhing for me,” he curves the shape of you ass and spanks the left cheek, causing you to tilt forward a bit as you cry out.

“please, please keep talking that way wonwoo, it s-sounds so good coming out of your mouth!” jihoon can’t help but laugh to himself because you were right, the more wonwoo talked dirty to you, the wetter you became, and all he wanted was to have your juices covering the bottom half of his face.

“such a needy, desperate little girl.. you love a filthy mouth don’t you?” before you can respond, wonwoo’s tongue roams on the edge of your earlobe and you whine out for your boyfriend.

“that’s right, keep calling my name out like that.. who’s helping you get off like this?”

“you are! wonwoo, wonwoo!”

“and be nice princess, who else is making you feel good? he’s working just as hard as me,” wonwoo tilts your head down to have you view jihoon, still making love to your folds like a pussy-starved man. jihoon looks at you with the most cunning, seductive look and you fear your coil could come undone any second.

“jihoonie,” you moan, biting down on your lip. “you’re making me feel so good down there, but i don’t know how long i can la- ah!” his tongue goes at its fastest pace since you three started and that’s all it takes for you to finally release, chanting both of your boyfriend’s names like they were the only words you knew.

jihoon moves his mouth away from the lower half of your body, a cheshire grin sweeping across his face, knowing his wish for today finally came true.

“came so much that you got it all over my face baby,” he licks his lips and the move has you clenching again, even though you had an intense orgasm seconds before. “dirty talk does something to you because you were dripping on my lips.” you blush at jihoon’s intimate statement as your body tries to slump to the floor, but wonwoo brings you back up.

“can’t have you laying down just yet, do you think you can handle another round princess? i do wanna put my dick inside of you, but only if you’re ready. what about you jihoon?”

the mentioned male nods in agreement, “yeah neither of us has filled you up yet, and i don’t think we can go anywhere until we’ve accomplished that.”

you look at the clock in the room, and there were about 10 minutes left before you guys had to leave. surely that’s enough time for one more orgasm.

“okay, but this time, i actually wanna see some skin from you two,” you pout. “i was the only one naked, and that’s not fair.. lemme see all of your work,” you innocently tease, doe eyes making them both horny.

“you really are something else,” jihoon expresses as he takes off his jacket first, then his shirt. wonwoo follows suit, hoodie coming off and his shirt following, both of their outerwear now in a small pile.

“you’ll have to help us with our pants though if you want both of us in your pretty little holes,” wonwoo remarks.

you sigh, knowing that even though you will get what you want, it’s not gonna come to you easy. that’s what it was like dealing with your gymrat boyfriends.

“yes baby,” you whisper as you come down to your knees, pulling down wonwoo, then jihoon’s pants and boxers down, revealing their pretty and girthy dicks.

“hm, i guess those late nights were worth it,” you say to yourself.

#seventeen smut #svt smut #svthub #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #wonwoo smut #woozi smut #jihoon smut #wonwoo x reader #woozi x reader #jihoon x reader #wonwoo imagines #jeon wonwoo imagines #woozi imagines #lee jihoon imagines

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yongvillage · 4 months ago

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hi slaterrr <3 i love ur works, ur talented bb, i had a thought or two about dejun if ur interested

xiaojun who’s a loser and keeps to himself mostly, nerdy nd gets picked on, but jerks off to your pics when he’s alone, stealing ur sweatshirt that u left in class and stroking himself in his room to the scent of u… stuff like that :3 i just know he’ll be giddy when he gets his hands on u too

(ps, do u do emoji anons? if so, could i be 🩰 anon? if not, that’s perfectly fine too xx)

AHHH hii anon, im so happy u like my works this ask means sm to me tyyyy 🥲💘

also i have been thinking abt doing emoji anons so congrats !!! ur the first one hehe 🩰

this one turned out a little longer than usual but i js had too much fun with this ask LOL i love loser dejun

ⓘ nerd!xiaojun, perversion, mating press, unprotected sex

you'd always see loser!xiaojun near your locker, peeking over his textbooks as he would frantically push his glasses up and look away nervously when you walked by.

he wasn't the loud or outgoing type, instead, he liked to watch from a distance. he'd savor the moment, admiring how effortlessly beautiful you were before the inevitable happened. before the same group of jocks would come by and knock his belongings out of his hands, yelling out ludicrous and malicious insults as they walked away. you'd always turn your back before you saw, though, paying him no mind as he scrambled to pick up his countless books.

thankfully, you only had one class with him, grateful that you didn't have to spend too much time around that creep. you'd heard rumors, about how he supposedly stalked girls around school and spied through their windows. they sounded a little foolish, but it was better to be safe than sorry, so you kept your distance.

as class finished up, you quickly packed all your things in your backpack, getting out of your seat, and you were in such a rush you forgot your sweatshirt. it sat idly on your desk, and xiaojun almost jumped out of excitement as he saw you exit the room for good, eyeing you, and then the sweatshirt.

he stalled for a bit, taking extra long to pack up his own things as he waited for everyone to pour out. once he felt the coast was clear, he snatched the sweatshirt, the scent of you already making him slightly delirious. he tripped on his own feet as he hastily ran out of the classroom, eager to go home.

he'd waste no time, shutting his bedroom door as he sat at his desk, pulling his pants down all the way to his ankles. his dick was flushed and leaking copious amounts of precum, and xiaojun wondered what you'd say, or what you'd do, if you were here. he pictured you watching him stroke his hard cock as he pressed your sweatshirt tightly against his nose, greedily inhaling the smell of your perfume, bodywash, and everything else your assumedly smoothe and supple skin had to offer his senses.

xiaojun swore he'd came in less than 30 seconds, the quickest he'd ever finished. but he didn't stop there, he didn't stop for the next three hours until his unknowing mother called him down for dinner.

it wasn't until two weeks later in the library when your friends dared you to talk to him, proclaiming that he'd "probably piss his pants the minute you came in a 6 feet radius of him." you laughed, shrugging their comments off as you casually walked up to him. his head was buried in a textbook, his hand hurriedly scratching down notes.

"hey."

xiaojun didn't hear you, seemingly too focused on his studying. you tapped him on the shoulder twice.

"hello?"

his head shot up, and his face turned red and sweaty in an instant as he became frenzied, his hands scattering across the table as he began shutting books and putting stuff away in his backpack. he stood up, clasping his hands in front of his crotch.

"h-hi," he pushed up his glasses, yet his eyes never once met yours. you almost felt bad, ignoring your friend's giggling behind you.

suddenly an idea came over you, smirking as you spoke, "would you wanna come over to my place tonight?"

xiaojun's wide eyes finally looked up at your face, before quickly looking back down again.

"f-for what? um, if you'd like homework answers i-i could just message them to you."

you chuckled, "no, i meant, like, have sex."

xiaojun chokes, going into a full blown cough attack. you stared patiently as his coughs died down and he looked back at you, droplets of sweat beginning to form on his temples and neck.

"w-what?"

"i mean, unless you don't want to, that's totally fine too," you tested, bititng back a smile as you watched how xiaojun's eyes grew even wider.

"no!" he yelled suddenly, a few other people in the library whipping their heads around to shush the two of you.

"so, i guess that's a yes?" you asked coyly

xiaojun nodded frantically, "y-yeah, i would like to have, um..."

"it's okay, you can say it."

"s-sex. i would like to have sex with you."

you gave him a proud smile, winking once before whispering in his ear, "i'll meet you outside the library after school. you can walk me to your house."

the walk to xiaojun’s house was amusing for you, and painful for xiaojun. you had told him to lead the way, and it was relatively silent, with xiaojun periodically lifting his eyes to look at you and seeing that you were already looking at him, thriving off of his shyness. he held his textbooks tightly over his crotch, hiding how hard he was.

a million scenarios played out in his head of what he would do to you once you two arrived, but when the time actually came, he just stood there. xiaojun had never felt like such a stranger in his own room.

you plopped onto the edge of his bed, eyeing him with your legs crossed as you leaned back on your hands.

as soon as you gave him permission to touch you though, it was like letting a dog out of it’s cage. xiaojun quickly got started on undoing his pants, pulling them down to his knees.

you suppressed a moan at the sight, bringing a hand down to rub at your clothed clit.

“fuck, just let me finger myself first, need to get myself stretched out for you,” you spoke in a sultry tone, sliding your shorts down your legs and spreading your legs open as he resumed to touch yourself.

xiaojun watched in awe, and you stared curiously as he hadn’t seemed to touch himself, not even once.

you giggled airily, “it’s okay, you can touch yourself.”

xiaojun shook his head quickly, “c-can’t.”

you looked up at him, your middle and index finger inching towards your wet hole as you started fingering yourself slowly.

“ah, and why’s that?” you moaned through your words, your fingers picking up the pace.

“i-i’ll cum too quick,” xiaojun gritted out, his hands balling up at his sides. you laughed at his self restraint, being quickly interrupted by a moan as you tipped your head back when your fingers curled inside you.

“mm, s-so well behaved,” you panted, peeking at xiaojun. your words and actions clearly took a toll on him, his red and sweaty face bringing you near your orgasm.

it only took a few more seconds before you came. your hips spasmed and legs trembled as you gave your clit one last, soothing rub, before reaching up to tug on xiaojun’s cock.

he grunts, his hands hesitantly resting on your knees as you did all the work, aligning his leaky tip to your entrance. xiaojun lost all self control in that moment, just the simple touch of your hot hole causing his hips to slam forward, knocking the wind out of you.

“shit,” he whispers out, almost strangled as he stared down at where the two of you met.

“m-move, xiaojun, please,” you panted out, hands coming to grip onto the back of your knees.

your words set off like a trigger to a gun in xiaojun’s mind, his hands suddenly slapping yours away and putting you into a mating press, his hips snapping into you at a brutal pace.

you looked up at xiaojun’s face, beads of sweat traveling down his cheeks and sideburns. the both of you were breatheless, hyperventilating at xiaojun’s newfound, animalistic thrusts.

“fuck, s-slow.. slow down, ah!” you moaned, your nails ripping at xiaojun’s navy sheets. his dick poked you in all the right places, and his crushing weight left you choking on your moans.

it looked like xiaojun wanted to say something, but all that came out was incoherent murmurs of curses and proclamations of how good you felt. his glasses fogged up and began sliding down his face, one of his hands coming off of the back of your knee to quickly slide them back up to the top of his nose bridge.

“you think about this? think about fucking me like this?” you managed to choke out, a lazy smile plastered on your face as you brought your hands up to xiaojun’s shoulders, nails raking up and down his back.

“fuck, s-so much,” he panted, mouth hanging open as his hips crashed onto the back of your thighs, hands grasping and kneading the plush of them, “y-you don’ even know…”

you whimpered at xiaojun’s words, your stomach beginning to twist and turn as your moans got especially loud, signaling that you were close.

xiaojun’s stutters and spurs, the only words you were able to make out being cum. you hummed contentedly.

“please let me cum in you, p-please, need to, need to cum i-inside,” he rambled unintelligibly, his thrusts growing sloppy and untimed.

you nodded wordlessly, too weak and spent to give him a spoken answer. you were on birth control anyway, and the thought of xiaojun pulling out now made you unsatisfied.

suddenly, all at once, both you and xiaojun cum at the same time. your eyes rolled to the back of your head, back arching off of the bed as your limbs trembled. pants and moans echoed throughout his room, and you whined at the sticky, hot cum flooding your cunt. but before you had any time to recover, xiaojun turns you over on your stomach, his ruthless pace picking back up, giving you no time to even breathe.

a black, stained sweater at the front of xiaojun’s bed catches your eye, and you can’t shake off the feeling of how familiar it looked.

@yongvillage | ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

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sgiandubh · 8 months ago

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The door faces North

This has been, by far, one of the most complex investigations I have ever done in this fandom, and I am truly sorry for the long wait I had to inflict on many of you & for the uncharacteristic radio silence in DMs and comments. During this peculiar journey, I checked, double-checked and cross-checked as many details as I could and I carefully considered at least two different theories, of which I still think they do not exclude each other. I am now confident enough to make not only an educated guess, but also a daring bet on SRH's next whisky move.

Also, sorry for the length of this post. Truly sorry - think of the completely pulverized night sleep I had to give up, in order to bring this to you.

But first, a word on Marple's obvious PR tip on the Hopetoun Estate refurbishment and distillery old/new project. I am fair game enough to tell you the obvious: her overall recounting of the principals is roughly correct, spare perhaps one or two minor details. Correct, but dry - she limits herself to the technical documentation submitted by Golden Decanters and The Hopetoun Estates Trust to the West Lothian Council for approval. She correctly points out that S is not a visible part of the deal, at this point in time and she does a decent summing up of a very, very, VERY plethoric amount of bureaucratic information. She concludes, and I think she is partially right, that he might be interested in becoming an investor (I am taking things a bit further, though). But in doing so, she focuses on the development phase of the project only: the possible connections with SRH and his own spirits business are less, if at all, obvious.

I am going to give you my view of all this charade and, if I am going to mention (and probably repeat) some things already found by her, I am going to focus on the people: this is where the whole story starts to become remarkably interesting, at least to me. After all, I remember promising you some more clarity. Here's an honest, fair play take.

Little did I know, when I started to write about that (now defunct) company, Midhope Castle Distillery, Ltd (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/748597198794670080/the-info-provided-above-is-correct-but-outdated?source=share), that my investigation would turn to this:

... for it was to be just an almost random layer of a juggernaut matryoshka of defunct or still active companies, featuring roughly the same people and no less than 6 different name combinations centered around Midhope, Hopetoun, etc.

The following pics will give you an idea - feel free to open them in a separate tab, for clarity . I preferred this synthetic approach, because otherwise you will curse the shite out of me. But it had to be done, with or without Depon, Advil's Greek cousin (and before you ask a graphologist, this is my handwriting, and nobody else's 🙃):

The only explanation for the whole almost frantic Midhope/Hopetoun crisscross/hopscotch (LOL) combos I can think of is two people trying to secure one (several?) credit lines or to attract significant investors for their project and ultimately failing to do so. But I might be wrong (although I doubt that, thank you). Out of this entire maze ( I swear I now have a migraine), there are only two active companies remaining: Golden Decanters Ltd (renamed GD Spirits Ltd, in April 2022) and Midhope Ltd (renamed Skosk Ltd, in July 2023). It is on them I am going to focus my gaze.

GD Spirits Ltd was incorporated in Berwick-upon-Tweed, England (just across the Scottish border), probably for tax reasons, on March 11, 2015, the nature of its business being listed as 'wholesale of wine, beer, spirits, etc.'. It started with a team of two women: Julia Mackenzie-Gillanders and Ann Medlock, whose names we are going to see over and over again in all the eight corporate avatars. Later down the timeline (LOL for three decades and a half), on January 30, 2018, they were briefly (until July 19, 2018) joined by two very interesting professionals: Mrs. Margaret Boswell, an attorney at the very prestigious international law firm Gide Loyrette Nouel (Paris and London offices)...

...and Ken Robertson, former Corporate Affairs Director at Diageo Whisky, a subsidiary of the international Diageo group, one of the major players on the world spirits' market:

The second company, Skosk Ltd, was incorporated in August 2021, in Perth, Scotland, its nature of business being listed as 'distilling, rectifying and blending of spirits', with the clear intention to align with the exacting criteria prescribed by the 2009 Scotch Whisky Regulations:

[ Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotch_whisky - sorry, I don't have time to wax lyrical on this, and neither do you]

This time, we only meet again the two distillerettes, Gillanders and Medwick. Up until now, at least, nobody else (attorney, former sales executive, whisky expert) has joined the platoon - TBC? I would not speculate and leave all options open.

There is little to 0 transparency on Skosk's financial situation, at the moment and to be honest, it looks very much like S's co-star (hehe)'s Irish business venture...

... but I was a bit more lucky, and the numbers more chatty, as far as GD Spirits was concerned:

Paging all shipper chartered accountants out there, but to me, it doesn't look great, at the moment. Cash is ridiculous, the net worth is hemorrhaging and the current assets are negligible, compared to 2020, when I think they managed to secure one or two credit lines, but not nearly enough for what they needed. Just enough to pay themselves and their external consultants and cover the operating costs, if you ask me.

The revised Planning Statement, of 8 February 2024, posted first by Marple, echoes my initial guess (COVID blew it up, see link to the first post) and the above assessment:

Mark this: 'Discussions are now proceeding with investors and there is a realistic prospect that work will begin in the near future (2024/2025) to implement the permission.' Given that they will start with the road and parking rehabilitation and upgrading, probably overlapping with the distillery building, it would make sense to begin this autumn at the earliest, with the most urgent: access to the site itself.

The initial Planning Statement, dated 9 July 2020 and re-posted on March 21st, 2024, tells a more detailed story. This is part and parcel of the current project as well, since the revision is just pointing out the changes operated, not the entire rest, which remains unchanged. You be the judge:

Also keep in mind this tiny, tiny thing: the Business Plan is 'submitted (...) under Private and Confidential Cover'. See where I am looking?

The initial plan was (and still is) for GD Spirits to produce their own booze, using Midhope's own barley (this is very important for the rest of my theory!). They even offer an overview of the real impact of their project on the local economy:

20 to 38 initial new job creations for a £ 15 to 30 million investment is not 'huge', madam Marple. Cumbernauld is huge. This? This is rather modest, if you ask me. But hey, what do I know about the labor market, right?

That initial Statement tells also the story they want to tell about the genesis of their idea, the scouting for the right location and a couple of other interesting details:

So they are telling us they started to look for the perfect location in 2018 and oh, hello, they found the Hopetoun Estate rather quickly, already starting the pre-planning application consultations as early as July 2019 (don't get me started, please):

If so, then why did they incorporate not one, but two different companies clearly linking them to the Estate (Hopetoun Estate Distillery Ltd and Hopetoun Estate Whiskies Ltd) the same day and as early as May 23rd 2017 (and both dissolved in December 2022), as my above penciled timeline (LOOOOOL) shows? Who is really behind this project and why this entire ballet? It's like me pre-emptively looking for rental properties in (let's randomly guess) Lisbon, when it's just wishful thinking, heavily projecting and with 0 guarantees I will be posted there, right? I mean, I adore and deeply know Lisbon and I would be thrilled to go there. But I am not currently looking for any rental property, just like that, because that would be a #silly, rookie mistake. In their case, I think there's a different situation - again, you be the judge.

A first answer, as to who is really behind that project, was given by the UK media, back in 2020:

How odd, when we know that both Mrs. Boswell, the well-traveled attorney and Mr. Robertson resigned from GD Spirits in July 2018. Do they still say hi to the two distillerettes? Do they quietly keep an eye on the project? Are they silent partners? Business angels? Shareholders? Time to remind you that under UK law, there is 0 visibility on the shareholder's structure of a company. You just see the officers (Director, Secretary, etc), on the Company House website. On an umpteenth, last- second cross-check, it became apparent that Mr. Robertson remained involved in another company of the distillerettes, Hopetoun Estate Whiskies Ltd (yes, the one mentioned above), until its voluntary strike-off, in December 2022.

Their best laid plans do mention OL, and how could it be otherwise? But all this £ 15 to 30 million hullaballoo for 20.000 people only (who counted them and how?), on a seasonal basis?

High-end restaurant, luxury B&B, event spaces, you name it. Interesting, to say the least.

And, for the people in the back, who still think SRH has a 100 years lease at Midhope (Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, the stupidity!):

This is why he commented as a 'member of the public'. At face value, there is no public involvement into that project. Yet. But it is my belief there is a vested interest in all this, justifying the comment, the visit, those papers rolled in his fist, etc. At first, I thought that was a visit to Lallybroch by the Exec Producer of OL's Season 8, to discuss technicalities - and shared that privately with a wonderful friend only. I mean, why not and still perfectly possible. But then, as I could not sleep tonight and felt guilty to have you all waiting, I started to connect some tiny dots.

Like this one, for a start:

Yes, I know, Marple told you that FIRST, I would not dare say otherwise, because if I did there would be a transcontinental screech. That trademark application was filed at the US Patent and Trade Office in September 2023 and I thought (and still partially do) it was a potential rebranding solution to The Sassenach's EUIPO nightmare (much exaggerated by the fandom's toothbrush experts):

But you also know I am an idiot and I always check people's CVs, when I follow a thread. This morning, the one Distillerette I am particularly interested in is Mrs. Julia Hall-Mackenzie-Gillanders (née Scales) and not like *urv would be.

Her LinkedIn profile is exceptionally talkative, too:

... and a BA (with Honors) in Fashion Design, class of 2005, at the Northumbria University.

The Financial Times article 'From packing boxes to wine deals worth millions', you can read on her LinkedIn page, tells a very interesting story. It is the story of a shy underdog (lots of temple bells clinging, at the moment), who made it by sheer persistence. It starts like this:

'When a painfully shy young woman contacted a fine wine merchant and said ' I have no qualifications- can I help?', she got the job and today is signing deals worth millions of pounds.'

It obviously did ring a bell and if SRH knows she exists (she is married, *urv!), and I dare to speculate he does, it must have struck a deep chord. Would I do business with her? I wouldn't speculate, although I am not very sure. Would he? He'd probably listen very carefully to what she has to pitch, for a start.

And what she has to pitch is also very interesting, in his world. A brief look at the Golden Decanters' website shows a first high-end single malt sourced collection of 4 exceptional expressions already sold out:

And when they mean high-end, they mean gold leaf labelling and all the tralala:

And, some last minute news, too:

Remind me, because I am an old woman, after this white night: wasn't The Sassenach (no comment, we agree to disagree and I am very skeptical), a blend?

We have these dots, then:

Bold Underdog ->spirits business->high-end collection of single malts sold out->business partnership with owners of Midhope Castle, fictional Lallybroch in OL, including a distillery and whisky production with Midhope/Lallybroch barley -> visit by the male lead and spirits entrepreneur (also the fictional Lallybroch laird) to Midhope/Lallybroch and vested interest in the estate's most recent business project....

What if The Sassenach would be included, for a start, in that new Blended Collection? And could it really be fanfic to imagine a future high-end, limited edition, Lallybroch whisky produced at Midhope, with Midhope/Lallybroch barley? It wouldn't be the first time, would it: after all, they did it with that limited tequila batch.

As I said, because I am (remember Someone? LOL) a 'silly cow', I was hoping he wouldn't do it. But my guess is he might very well do exactly that, with those people and under that label.

It's half past eight AM, local time and I need a strong, black coffee.

I rest my case (and I am bracing myself for the screeching). I will answer Anons later, after I come back from the hairdresser's. Appointments must be kept at all costs. Thank you all for your patience.

#boozewars #business #fandom #shitshow

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theroseiswithoutawherefor · 1 year ago

Text

Well, first of all, I have to thank @yridenergyridenergy for selling me the ticket! It was literally the best experience I had throughout the year; I really, really, sincerely appreciate it.

As promised, this is my repo of the gig in Wakayama. To be honest, I’m really a bad recorder as I can only recall the sensation or vibe in general and forget the details every time. Am I the only one?? Anyway, I guess my drawings may not be precise at all and it would be more like a summary of the year.

And this repo will be focusing on Kaoru, Toshiya and Kyo. I’m sorry but I stood on the left in both times.

Kaoru

It’s so strange that I can easily feel my love for him grows with time and what a coincidence! I visited them twice this year and I was right in front of him every time. I always assumed that I would be in front of Toshiya when I checked the hall map in December, but no! It was Kaoru again! It kinda shocked me the time I located my seat and noticed his microphone stand was there, just about 2 meters away.

I think probably it has been known by all of you, the show started with a semi-transparent screen showing some AI-generated footage(sorry, I hate this part). It covered most of the setting but just revealed some shadows. I could only see Kaoru, his side profile, priest-alike gown and silver hair. He looked so focused and indifferent and so good-looking…my hands are still sweating as I recall it now.

That was my first time listening to Rinkaku on-site. I got caught up in emotion when you could easily compare themselves in reality and their sketches in the video. You could see how much they have changed and it also just reminded me a lot of moments, staying at home and staring them on the screen. The real vs the virtual.

Also, at the beginning from the distance, I could only see some sort of marks on his chin that looked pretty much like piercings? It turned out to be his makeup; so brilliant.

Kyo

I didn’t see Kyo that much this time, but I feel he is that kind of vocal that you would fall in love with once you’ve actually seen him in the venue. He looked so nostalgic to me this time, maybe bc of the ghost face makeup or the fact that I have seen him too much this year. I also went to HK for sukekiyo this year.

The gig of sukekiyo was more emotional, floating and spacey (and less aggressive, obviously). Kyo’s dedication was so contagious. Although he looked a little bit nervous at the beginning of the Day1, forgetting the lyrics now and then lol.

It is interesting to see the similarities and differences between Diru and Sukekiyo, like looking at different reflections of the same mirror.

Btw probably he is the most inspiring Diru member to me I guess. Idk why drawing kyo always begins with a pretty satisfying draft then it becomes a big challenge to my expertise and patience ahhhh. But yeah, I can improve a lot after finishing it. So, kyo, thx? lol

Toshiya

I’m not quite a fan of his white outfit that day(the one worn in the pic of their tweet on 16th Dec). Actually I even failed to recognize him the first, waistcoat and palazzo trouser are ok but definitely not the most stunning look of him. It seems that his style is becoming more gender-neutral this year, with hair dyed brown, pearl jewelries and feminine makeup.

But I still quite enjoyed his performance, his body language was so beautiful (ugh! It’s such a shame that I can’t recreate it)and he was the first one going to the left terrace and saying hi to everyone. Toshiya is always the sweetest person in Diru to me.

I prefer his encore look more and he took off the shirt and threw it to the gift right in front of him

（and a random sketch）

That’s it! I could have drawn more but, sorry I’m a perfectionist, these pics really took me some time, but I may keep going if I have spare time.

And I’m not used to talking so much on the Internet, it is embarrassing somehow.

The year of 2023 has treated me rly good, I hope it would be the same for all of you and Diru members, see you next year.

#dir en grey #sukekiyo #kaoru #kyo #toshiya #A repo? maybe?

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punch-aholic · 10 months ago

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I love your art style, I was wondering what your inspirations were/your process for getting your art style to where it is now

Oh my gosh what an amazing question!! Thank you so much, I really appreciate this :) I'd love to talk about my style and how I've kind of honed in my style over the years. This will be a bit of a long one so I'll put in a cut!

I've been drawing DC art for a long, long time. Since I was really young back when I was playing Lego Batman lol. Before I was doing digital art I was really focused on designing my own versions of characters. I sort of learned how to draw one thing at a time. I learned how to draw hair, then eyes, then noses etc.

I wasn't very good lol. I think these are from like 2016? I took a lot of inspiration from DC Comics actually! I always describe my style as almost-realistic though, because I actually grew up as a life-drawing artist. I can't stress enough how important it is to take the time to really study the human body if you want to draw people. I went to college for Life Drawing and Anatomy studies and it really helped me figure out posing, how certain parts of the body move and stuff like that

I use myself as a reference a lot too. You're your own model! It leads to some pretty funny pics too haha (I ended up changing the pose a bit, but you get the vibe)

These are older and my handwriting is unintelligible but you get the picture. Learning how to translate emotions and character into a pose is really helpful and then of course figuring out how to draw clothes is helpful too. Before I was doing Superheroes I did a lot of fantasy art which helped me kind of perfect armor, cloth and those textures.

When I moved to digital drawing it really helped me learn how to render, which was kind of the final piece of the puzzle. Shading is so fucking difficult and I'm not perfect at it by any means (these drawings are two or three years old now and they still have a lot of issues). I mean, to show you how much my style has changed, this is the same character in 2016, 2020 and 2023

SO yeah! I get a lot of inspiration from older Disney, I really liked She-Ra's art style, and mimicked that a lot when it came out, and now I've kind of grown it into something all my own to the point where I can do full character scenes with my own designs. Anatomy, color theory and character design are big passions of mine and I try to show that in every drawing I do on here.

Thank you for asking by the way, I hope this is what you were looking for! Sorry for rambling lol

#batman #artists on tumblr #dc comics #simon's art #simon rambles

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cooloddball · 7 months ago

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Ok, so I would like to throw in my opinion on the "fell first/fell harder" Lestappen take.

Let me preface this by saying I'm very new to F1 racing and am learning quickly about the sport and the racers (and falling absolutely in love with all these adorable goobers too!)

I only looked into it because a coworker of mine is in love with Daniel lol. In searching Daniel I found a pic of Charles and was IMMEDIATELY like 👀👀 'Damn ok I see you, gorgeous, who are you??' And in searching him, I saw MANY pics of him and MAX.

In lengthy conclusion, MY hot take is this: Max fell first in a heavy moment of bi panic. Let's face it, Charles is the kinda guy that could definitely make "straight" men questions themselves for a hot minute. I can FULLY see, understand, and sympathize with the idea of Karting Day Max being genuinely confused about what exactly it is he's feeling for Charles because, no, absolutely NOT is he attracted to boys! (Read: his dad would probably get pretty pissed to hear/know his champion racing "straight" son has a huge boy crush on his rival of all people)

So it's treated like an early school crush where you're young and immature and kinda mean to them only because you don't want them to know you actually like them, y'know? Plus, he has to be a bit ruthless! This is his rival, for corn's sake!

Flash forward, Max goes to F1, his crush probably simmers/dies down now that he's got all new focus. In comes Charles to F1 bringing all those emotions and memories back to the surface. But Max is determined to stay focused this time. And in this time I believe is when Charles starts really dealing with HIS side of the crush because look at (his) Max now! All grown up and racing in F1 and giving him a serious run for his money and looking damn fine while doing it and Charles has trouble not letting it effect him.

Eventually time progresses, they grow and mature and come to realize they're both equally deserving to be where they are at and they're both amazing drivers and Max has now allowed himself to start letting go of the school yard crush tendencies and started really appreciating Charles for who and what he is. I think he's now allowing himself to just enjoy being with and around Charles. He's come to realize he LOVES the giggles and the dimples and the shimmer in the sea green eyes and, hey, Charles is a damn good driver so why shouldn't he be honest about that and tell the world?

I look at his body language and how he acts and speaks around Charles (and vice versa) and, for all the years they've known each other, they're still so bashful and giddy around each other. I've noticed that when Charles might be giving an interview, Max will just walk over and start talking, and Charles gives him his FULL attention despite the fact he was originally talking to someone else first. Maybe Max and Charles can't have each other romantically, so they take the best they can get.

I'm so sorry for such a long (and probably confusing) rant but I've really no one else to talk with about this and I'm OBSSESSED with their obsession with each other that I could go on for literal HOURS about these two lovesick knuckleheads 🥰🥰

no apologies needed i love you and this ask because long asks are the best. i also like the fact that you are of a different opinion because we can’t all see things the same way.

as for the who fell first vs who fell harder i get why you see it that way but from my side i feel charles fell first because that’s who he is, like it would take something very little to happen for him to get a him to like something/someone and he loses interest just as quickly. meanwhile max is the kind of person who takes his time to understand things/ people and it takes a while to like these things/people but once he’s in it’ll take a lot to get out/dislike something etc.

also, as i mentioned in an earlier post, it’s charles’ “hostility” towards max when they were younger that did it for me. like from the lore we have there’s nothing that max could’ve done that warranted charles disliking him so much. and no, charles got his revenge for the inchident. i think charles realised he had a crush and max was oblivious (at first) because all he was focused on at the time was racing (thanks to jos 😡) so he probably didn’t care to form many relationships/friendships with the other karters which probably made charles feel some type of way like max didn’t care enough to like him so he decided “if it’s only racing you care about i might as well give you something to remember me by” so he focused his energy on racing against him and just outright being a track terror. little did he know that’s what max needed to steer him to liking him (charles)but it was too late, max had a target on his back…and here we are.

if you ever want to talk about them, i’m here to listen and offer whatever take.

#asks #lestappen #lestappen dynamics #also can we get a body language expert please because i need to understand why they act the way they do around each other

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brosser-les-dents · 5 months ago

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hi.

ive never done this before but um im not very good at taking care of myself and ive been trying to fix that, especially when it comes to getting myself to start a routine of brushing my teeth.

its really hard because im pretty sure i have sensory issues. i just really hate the physical feeling of every step of the dental care process and how aware i become about how my mouth feels during it. its so bad that even the thought of trying to go brush my teeth immediately makes me uncomfortable and put off and hyperaware of my mouth which makes me feel bad about not brushing and starts a whole negative thoughts cycle.

i procrastinate doing it even though i know i need to do it and feel the consequences of not brushing everyday, all the time but i don't know how to even get myself into the bathroom with my dental stuff. i even bought specific paste and mouthwash that would help repair the damage and i got one of those tongue brushes (i have a fear of using floss) but i just can't seem to actually go and do the thing.

i was wondering if you had any advice or coping mechanisms or methods of distraction while brushing or something that can help maybe get my mind off what im feeling and doing so i can actually get through it without feeling terrible and just make the whole process a little less uncomfortable?

sorry for going off on a sort of tangent. i just really need help and i never really know how to go about asking or looking for it so i thought asking a stranger on the internet was probably an okay idea lol.

thank you for this blog and thank you for whatever advice you give in advance.

Sorry it's taken me a bit to reply, it's been a week and I had think about your ask for a bit as this isn't something I struggle with and I wanted to provide something helpful.

I know you mentioned you got special oral care things but didn't mention a toothbrush, so a diff one might help. There is a curaprox toothbrush and it's ultra soft and the bristles are tightly packed so you get a more overall brush feeling over your tooth instead of intense pokey from a regular toothbrush.

If you haven't heard about them, there are also these 360 or all around toothbrushes that will brush everything all at once so it's less sensory nightmare on one spot. They're shaped like the pic below, there are a bunch of diff ones. Mostly kid sizes but some adult sized.

Another thing I can think of is to brush with your non dominant hand. Lol. You may end up spending so much time focused on making sure your non dominant hand is working properly to brush that you'll distract yourself from the feeling of brushing.

Another distraction tactic that I use is reading or watching something on my phone. Or wiggle your toes while brushing to distract from the sensory information you're getting in your mouth. (useful for when you're getting a needle or your blood drawn too)

Reading your ask, it also sounds like you may have developed an overall aversion to even being in the place of brushing, the bathroom. So take some baby steps at the kitchen sink, instead? Maybe just start by putting the brush into your mouth and do one very short cursory overall with your non dominant hand, and slowly work your way up until you're more used to it and then move back into brushing in the washroom. I'm hoping in your case, exposure will dull your senses and get you used to brushing, especially when you've made some changes to hopefully make the process bearable.

I really have nothing else. I hope at least a little of this was helpful. If anyone else has suggestions, please do share!

And remember to brush and floss everyone!

#brush your teeth #my asks

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destinyc1020 · 5 months ago

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Hi destiny, I just started reading your posts regularly and I have been loving them 💕 I'm sorry if you already talked about it but I was wondering

When Zendaya posted her story with the pearl ring last year, what did you think about the whole situation ?

To me personally, I saw the picture and thought nothing. Like pretty picture but that's it. And I was checking twitter at the time and no one was saying anything. Then Z deleted, cropped it, posted about focusing on the hat, then Noon.. then the story saying she can't post anything and that's not how she would drop the news. All of this, I thought it was a funny, like ridiculous, but still funny 😂 I dont know why she started to make a big deal out of it because I swear no one was posting about it, it was making any noise on Twitter or any platform.

BUT then Darnell went online and that's when I started to think they were doing too much. The funny story from Z was already a good way to address it, the live and more especially his tone, it made me raise my eyebrows a little bit. I know he would never do anything against Z's wishes so I'm not saying he's at fault, but Z herself and her decision making. She probably asked for him to go live, go on a monologue about it and idk if was the smartest way to deal with that because at the end of the day, he's a third party. He's not supposed to talk about it in that sense (but maybe that's just my personal view about relationships), but Z allowed him to, maybe even encouraged it. So it made me question their dynamic and how effective it is to send him do the "messy work" in a way. Also all of this was happening when Tom was asleep. Darnell sounded lowkey offended about the idea of an engagement. We can only have theories and right now they're doing more than fine, of course, but I wonder if Tom ever actually saw the video of the live and how he felt at the time. I'm not in his head but just from an outsider pov I would be like damn okay We're not engaged (assuming they're not, which we don't even know but still), but do we need to act like this is such a ridiculous idea🙃

To me (again, personal opinion)! the whole situation became too messy with this live and it's an example of needing a publicist before star thing to do shit on your own 😅

My theory is that someone in her family asked about it for some reasons, and instead of searching if rumors were actually going around massively (which was not the case) she panicked, thought something leaked, and (over)reacted immediately. I never saw her damage control being this incredibly over the top, and I've been there for years. I wonder if I'm the only one

and PSA: Im not saying that because I blame Darnell per say, it's not against him I really appreciate him from the little we know about him he's an incredible person and Z ride or die, I'm more specifically talking about her way of dealing with stuff like this. I would've said the same thing if it came from Tom's side. For example, for people who remember that era, when Tom asked Harry and Haz to DM fan pages to take down the vide of Nadia he accidentally posted in his story, I found it silly too. That's not their job. But at least it was done privately, not publicly

Hey, welcome to my blog! 😁👋🏾

Thnx for the sweet comments. 💕

Re: the Pearl Ring 💍 Gate lol 😆

Here's an article about it in case some people are lost lol....

Anyway... I'm like you, cuz when I first saw her IG story post, I wasn't even thinking about a ring or even thinking she was announcing an engagement lol 😂

I just merely thought she was showing off her outfit, that's all. 🤷🏾‍♀️ But yea, overzealous fans went gaga and started making all kinds of allegations. 🙄

While I'm glad she cleared things up and stopped the chatter, at the same time, it DID seem to me like she and Darnell were doing a bit too much rofl 🤣 Especially Darnell with his live talking about the topic lol 😆 Like, what are you all trying to hide lol? 🤭

Anyway, maybe you're right? She may have gotten a lot of text/msgs from family members or friends wondering if she was dropping some news, and she wanted to clear things up. Either that, or she just didn't want people thinking that she's engaged (when she's already secretly engaged and doesn't want the media to know 👀). Can you imagine trying to plan a wedding ceremony with the media on your back? That's a LOT of pressure. 🥴

Anyway....

I don't think it phased Tom any honestly lol 😆 Fans have to remember that Tom and Z are partners, so whatever they do or think, they talk about it. Couples usually talk about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G... And I do mean EVERYTHING lol 😆 Even stuff that you wouldn't even think would be important rofl 🤣 Sometimes, my friend's boyfriend knows stuff that I've told her, and I'm like... 👀

So yea, they're fine. Tom knows how hard it is to navigate a rlshp in the public eye, and he's def on board with keeping his rlshp things sacred... as we saw in how he reacted to the Olivia pics, to the video about Nadia, to how he told the media that he felt that he and Zendaya's privacy was "violated" with those kiss pics in the car, to how he said he didn't want to speak on certain things w/out Zendaya, because this not just his story, it's THEIR story. 😊

So yea, he's fine with whatever needs to happen in order to keep their relationship sacred.

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foxpunk · 1 year ago

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In one of your recent posts you mentioned mastodon. I've been thinking of trying it out but I'm a bit overwhelmed by the amount of different servers. Which one would you recommend? Preferably ones that are trans and autistic friendly?

oh wonderful! always glad to help someone try something new.

some general info, before we start. for you and anyone else who may be reading this:

mastodon servers aren't isolated from each other. it's like how t-mobile and verizon are different phone networks but can call and text each other. it's also harder for larger servers to moderate their user base well, since the vast majority aren't run by businesses/professionals, just individuals. this aspect is similar to forums and discord. and so, pick whichever server you want based mainly on the server's rules and moderation! to be clear, i DO NOT recommend mastodon.social for the above reasons.

with that out of the way, here's my server recs!

if you take my word for it, you can assume they're all well moderated, LGBTQ+ friendly, and staunchly anti-fascist lol. that being said, always be sure and read the about and rules pages on any server before joining! i recommend reading through the rules of multiple servers even if you decide on just one, so you can get a better feel for how things work.

first, the three servers i have accounts on:

tech.lgbt / on the larger side, but really nice. main user base is lgbt people in the tech field (shocker) and a significant amount of furries (the overlap in this venn diagram is Huge) but you do not have to be one of those things or post that content to sign up there whatsoever!

cutie.city / smaller and super chill lgbtq+ run server, lots of general posting, cute pics, artists, etc. very easy to talk to, and very friendly! highly recommend this server if you are just starting out and feeling things out.

urusai.social / cool and friendly fandom focused server, mainly focused on animanga, light/web novels, e. asian dramas, video games, etc. it has a sister server (sakurajima.moe) you can also check out.

here's a few servers i'm not personally on (yet) but that i have friends on, have read the rules for, and have seen are well moderated:

mastodon.art / on the larger side, and is the main mastodon server artists and creators of all kinds join! friendly, with lots of fun events run by the main mod.

strangeobject.space / super small instance, really chill.

fandom.ink / another fandom focused server, but much more general and not so heavily focused on e. asian media.

honorable mentions that i have mutuals from but dunno much about personally: floss.social / mstdn.games / socel.net / queer.party

if you want to follow people who aren't on your server, all you have to do is place their account url into the search bar of your server and follow from there. (there's other ways to do this, but that's for another post, this one's long enough already). for accounts to follow after signing up, i recommend:

FediTips / nice account with tips for new users

FediFollows / run by the same person, they post follow friday lists of cool accounts to follow.

Curator / the admin for mastodon.art. boosts cool art a lot and has events (run through hashtags) that lots of people join, so you can find new artists

Hashtags / this isn't a specific account. on mastodon you can follow entire hashtags, similar to the way you can here, but better. it's one of the easiest and best ways to find new content and new people to follow.

Also, after signing up, your server will have a /directory page where you can easily find more people to follow!

once you're signed up, be sure to set up your profile, make an introduction post (and tag it with #introduction, hashtags are the best way to find people, remember), and have fun!

if you'd like to learn more about mastodon (either casually, or in depth) AllThingsTech and Fedi.Tips are great sites to do so! and you're free to ask me whatever you'd like about it as well, even if it's a "small" question.

P.S. - sorry for the long response, i hope it wasn't too overwhelming! i wanted to give more info not just for you but for anyone else who may be interested or confused.

TL;DR: the instances i linked are great to join! just look at the links, lol

#ask #ky speaks #mastodon #fediverse #im viralvulpes on those three instances btw feel free to follow me as well!

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statementlou · 1 year ago

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Hi, how was your show!!!??

Thank you for asking! It was great, OBVIOUSLY. I saw Louis play a short set in late 2019, but was not able to go to Walls tour, so this was my first time at a proper tour show (in Berkeley last night) and it was brilliant! I have been trying to figure out what to say besides that though cause tbh there are two posts I want to make. So… both? First for my recap- it was so loud, like the music was just normal concert loud but I had to plug my ears against the screaming between songs cause it was way louder- I just figured it was the in person experience difference but no, Louis confirmed, “you guys have been so fucking loud in here tonight, it's actually been hard for me to hear” so GO US! The chokingly thick haze of weed smoke (“I already feel the energy, I already feel the love, I can already smell the weed,” he was not fucking kidding) to usher in HIC in California (and all the other songs lol) didn’t diminish the energy a bit! Truly, there is nothing like the energy of shared live music, and meeting eyes of other fans (through the trees) and sharing that excitement. And seeing actual physical unmediated Louis, just existing in space being a real live human, yeah. Something.

I was like I'm not gonna bother to take pictures or anything, I just want to dance and hear and look, everyone else's pics will be better anyway but then the TECH, you guys know how much I love the fucking aesthetic of this tour and the screens were SO PRETTY in real life!! So in fact I KEPT getting my phone out for that so like... good one tech crew, you got me. Look for many low quality aesthetic posts of the screens incoming, sorry not sorry. Common People was SO PRETTY, his voice was so clear and lovely and I'm so glad that's been added in. WDBHG went HARD live, holy shit, SO FUN (tho tbh me as Louis thinking I know all the words to that song but it turns out there are a lot? And I do not? At least I was in the best possible company fumbling and mumbling through parts.) Heartbroken I didn’t get Saturdays live (honestly the one song I think might have been my exception to the next thing I’m gonna say) but so thankful for BTM🖤

But part two of this post is to say that watching the livestreams with you all is also brilliant and special and also lets me experience the beauty of Louis’ voice and presence and connection and the feeling of experiencing something together. I wasn’t able to go last year, and I know some of you (many many thousands worldwide!) won’t be able to go this year either or maybe ever, and I know you are seeing the posts telling you there is nothing like being there and you can't really know or appreciate Louis/ Louis’ voice/ the experience unless you are there in person and it feels sad and I want to tell you that I have done the research now and I don’t think that is true. Most people who go to the show won’t have a Y/N moment and be Perceived by Louis or be at barricade, and I don’t think the experience we are having online together is less real or profound than the live experience. His voice sounded fucking gorgeous and soaring and I loved it, but even if you are there it is mediated by all kinds of tech; I imagine getting to be present for an acoustic performance really would be something that couldn’t be replicated but I think a really good live through a clear speaker or a nice quality show video is in fact just fine. Some of the songs did hit me harder in person and get my blood pumping in a different way, yes- but others I actually think I get a fuller experience of in a chiller more focused environment when everything isn’t flying by as quickly. Like I don’t think the megamix would impact the way it does (UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH) if I just saw it live once and done, for example. Anyway I’m just saying if you can’t make your own (go to the show) store bought is fine (hang with us at stream time! or just whatever online content). While I never intend to watch every stream in fact I am usually right here and love to chat and squee with people, come hang out, or just watch some videos and enjoy the magic.

#obviously overall HECK YES SO HAPPY but I have two complaints in addition to the Saturdays Issue #one is that the Snuts didn’t play Maybe California?? for their first california show?????? why do they hate me?!!!#to be clear it is ON THEIR SETLIST. AND YET.#and the other is something I’ve come up on before with these guys which is that being in the location where your show is always #the day BEFORE the one they are really excited about (LA)… is kind of a bummer🙈it is what it is and it's not a big deal but js #was about to say why can't any of them ever go in the other direction but LMAO NEVER MIND #the question answers itself 😂#anyway I have more thoughts about live vs online experiencing of it all but ...another time #blah blah blah #fitfwt berkeley

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the-invisible-queer · 7 months ago

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HELLO I'VE DISCOVERED THAT YOU CAN SUBMIT ANONYMOUSLY BY LOGGING OUT OF TUMBLR so now we're finally back, with another wholly unnecessary and novel-length timeline of a Jonas Brother’s hoe ass antics. I almost didn’t do a Nick timeline after the Joe one, for reasons I’ll explain when I get there, but like I said I needed something to distract me/kill some time and writing out an extensive history of this man’s Nonsense turned out to be great for that, so here we are. I’m sorry so much of this focuses on the Disney love triangle (my preteen ass was HOOKED on that soap opera and apparently a lot of it has just been dormant in my brain ever since) and even more sorry it’s INSANELY long. Though at the end of the day it’s not my fault that this man’s teenage years alone were such a goddamn mess that they require extensive lore to fully explain so. Blame Nick for all of this is what I’m saying.

Same disclaimer as with Joe’s, this is all just stuff I remember with no research or anything, so I’m sure some of it is probably wrong and very sure some things were left out. Also I had to kind of weirdly switch up my formatting here since Nick’s first two relationships were extremely…entangled...for a while and couldn’t really be cleanly divided into “every girl gets her own bullet point” the way Joe’s timeline could, so bear with me:

Nick and Miley started dating in 2006, when they were both 13 years old. They were allegedly introduced by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (which is ICONIC honestly, like the passing of the Official Disney Power Couple torch) and apparently became attached at the hip right away. Here are some random bits of Niley 1.0 lore that I remember:

Nick once claimed that Franklin (who was like five at the time) also had a crush on Miley before they met and “tried to beat him up” when he found out they’d started dating. This is genuinely one of my favorite bits of Jonas lore ever lol like please that’s so funny and cute

At some point in like 2007 Miley was papped holding her phone in such a way that the background was clearly visible, and it was a pic of her and Nick kissing, which was hilariously major news on the tween gossip sites back in the day since they were still playing the “we’re just best friends!” game at the time; the same thing happened again when she was heavily photographed at an event with “I <3 Nick” written on her hand. At some point one has to assume she was doing this on purpose.

In literally like the mid-2010s Nick finally admitted that Miley was his first kiss (which, no shit??? Incredibly funny that he played coy about that info for years when like bro, you were 12 and homeschooled before her, literally who else would you have been kissing), and said he was embarrassed to realize later that he kissed her right after eating something with a bunch of onions on it and his breath probably smelled terrible.

According to a 2007 interview that I still vividly remember to this day, Miley and a certain “friend” (there’s Disney’s favorite word again) dressed up as Sonny and Cher for Halloween 2006. The fact that not a single photo of this has ever surfaced nearly two decades later remains one of the greatest disappointments of my life.

Niley 1.0 lasted roughly a year and a half: according to Miley’s autobiography, they started dating in June 2006 and broke up in December 2007, with one short ‘break’ at some unspecified point in between. During said break Miley wrote the song G.N.O. and a few others, and Nick wrote S.O.S., Still In Love With You and possibly some other songs I’m forgetting. They also worked together a lot during their relationship, filming the boys’ iconic Hannah Montana episode and then going on tour together with the boys opening for her on the Best of Both Worlds tour, which awkwardly was still going on when they broke up. Miley claimed they ended things mutually because they were just too busy to manage a relationship at the time, never getting to spend much time together because they were both so busy with work, and had started fighting a lot from all the stress they were under. Speculation abounded about whether or not that was truly the reason, especially once Selena hit the scene so quickly and the “you love me you like her” of it all, but it was the official story regardless.

Immediately post-breakup Miley dyed her hair black as a rebellion against Nick, who apparently liked her to have blonde highlights when they were together, and Nick seemingly coped with the breakup in a different way because rumors about him and Selena started cropping up as early as January 2008. One such rumor I remember involved them allegedly flirting at the Best of Both Worlds movie premiere, which is so hilariously shameless that I could easily believe it of Baby Fuckboy Nick despite there being, as far as I’m aware, zero actual evidence supporting it. Regardless of when it actually started though, by I want to say spring of 2008 Nick and Selena were definitely a thing and Miley was definitely mad about it. It was at this point that this entire mess truly started derailing into the endlessly chaotic trainwreck that captivated tweens all over the world for the next two years.

Very rough timeline of Nelena 1.0/general 2008 triangle lore, listed in the probably incorrect order that I vaguely remember things happening in when I was like 12:

Miley and her friend Mandy uploaded an episode of their “The Miley and Mandy Show” Youtube series pretty obviously making fun of Selena and Demi, who at the time were very close besties which just made Demi also guilty by association I guess. This video was the official start of The Feud between Miley and Selena (and their respective sidekicks for a while). Shortly after this they uploaded another video ‘apologizing’ for causing drama, saying it was all in good fun and the girls were all friends; this apology was blatantly insincere and nobody believed it.

Private photos Miley’d sent to Nick during their relationship, clearly intended for his eyes only, were leaked online after her computer was hacked. We don’t need to discuss this in any further detail as it was really gross and invasive, especially considering Miley was very much a minor at the time, but it was a notable event within the love triangle lore so I couldn’t not mention it.

The Burnin’ Up music video dropped, featuring Selena as Nick’s love interest. Fans everywhere were SHOOK by this, both because it seemed like much more of an official relationship confirmation than Disney “We’re Just Friends” Channel stars were normally allowed to give AND because fans quickly started putting together that Burnin’ Up was likely written about Miley, who’d worn the famous high heels/red dress combo commonly thought to have inspired it to an event with Nick long before Selena was even in the picture at all. The drama! The mess! To this day I would love to know if this casting choice was Nick’s decision or if it was Disney’s – it was heavily speculated that Disney sometimes escalated the love triangle drama on purpose, either to capitalize on it for publicity or to distance Nick’s image from Miley’s after the photo scandal by associating him with Good Girl™ Selena instead – but it was very entertaining either way. All of this was truly great television tbh.

The 7 Things music video also dropped, featuring a lot of very blatant references to Nick and completely gagging all of us again before we’d even finished gagging over Burnin’ Up. (I genuinely don’t remember now if these two songs/videos actually premiered like a week apart or not, but that’s definitely what it felt like at the time lol. Just new bits of wild drama dropping every other day like these damn kids thought they were Kendrick and Drake. It was insane to live through as part of the target demographic and tbh this whole experience probably rewired my brain permanently and is why I’m like this.) Dissecting this song and video kept fans busy for a good while; I still remember how super smart my friends and I felt when we realized the melody of 7 Things was just the melody of Hello Beautiful sped up.

Kevin, of all people, popped up somewhere wearing a “Team Demi and Selena” shirt in reference to the ongoing feud between them and Miley + Mandy. He of course denied that it was referencing this and IIRC tried to claim it had something to do with like a bowling team that Demi and Selena were supposedly starting??? Okay, Kevin. Again, I’d love to know if Disney orchestrated that or what bc otherwise what was his grown ass doing jumping into beef between a bunch of like 15-year-old girls to begin with lmao

At some point Nick was directly asked if 7 Things was about him and said it couldn’t be because his friends aren’t jerks, which is somehow the funniest possible answer he could have given so props to him for that one honestly

Miley performed 7 Things live at some event that all the other Disney kids were at, and during the song she walked into the audience to where Selena was and they sang a line or two together. Around this time (I can’t remember if it was also at this event or a different one) the three Disney girls took pictures together and Demi and Selena took pictures with the boys, but Miley avoided them. I remember there being speculation around this time that Nick and Selena might have been on a break or at least having issues, bc of how very suddenly the two girls appeared to start getting along and bc of Selena lowkey shading her own boyfriend? But I have no idea if that was true or not. Nick was probably rattled either way though lmao

Miley’s album Breakout dropped, obviously featuring a lot of songs about Nick but, infinitely more unexpected than that, also featuring a message at the very end of the dedication page thanking ‘Prince Charming’ for inspiring the album and saying “I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you always.” Fans reached levels of gagged so unprecedented that one girl I personally knew jumped the Team Nelena ship and converted over this.

JB’s album A Little Bit Longer dropped (again, what felt like very very shortly after but may not have actually been idk, I’m not about to look up release dates for this) also obviously featuring a lot of songs about Miley – and ones spanning their entire relationship, at that. I don’t think I truly realized until years later how funny it actually was that Lovebug and Can’t Have You were literally released at the exact same time lol.

At some point in the midst of all this 15-year-old Miley started dating a 20-year-old underwear model, which always creeped me out even as a literal child. Not long into their relationship said pedo boyfriend took the tween gossip world by storm by dressing up as Nick for Halloween, which at the time I found somewhat funny despite my reservations with him, but looking back on that as an adult it’s sooooo…that kid is barely sixteen. Why are you dating this teenager and mocking her also teenage ex over their messy teenage beef that does not concern your grown adult ass literally at all AND ALSO WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU IN PRISON. Anyway. 12-year-old me always lowkey tried to avoid learning anything about this pedo since he creeped me out, so I really don’t know when exited the picture, but he must not have lasted super long because…

In roughly early 2009, Nick and Selena broke up. Just like last time it did NOT take Nick long to bounce straight back to his other option and in no time at all he and Miley were fueling rumors, publicly flirting and suddenly hanging out again – the iconic lunch date where they were seen alone together for the first time since their breakup and where Nick embarrassed himself by getting into a fender bender while driving his ex around lmao happened during this time period. I remember that Selena spent a lot of time publicly angsting and vagueposting about all of this on Twitter, but can’t really recall the specifics of that anymore. It was clear she was going through it though.

Niley 2.0/general mid-2009 lore highlights, again probably out of order somewhere (also for the full effect imagine all of these things happening literally back-to-back within the span of like two months):

Miley’s book released, suddenly revealing a ton of Niley 1.0 lore all at once. A lot of fans who met Nick around this time got him to sign the ‘Prince Charming’ chapter page of their copy, which admittedly was very funny and something I’m still surprised he actually did.

Before the Storm was written and recorded somewhere in all of this.

Miley, Selena, Demi and the boys all filmed the Send It On music video and its accompanying Disney Channel ads, including several clips the three girls had to do together in which it was painfully obvious that Miley and Selena couldn’t stand each other and poor Demi looked like she’d rather be eating glass than sitting there between them. Candids from the set dropped showing Nick appearing playful and flirty with both girls during filming, despite Niley being pretty obviously back on by this point and him and Selena still seeming to be on bad terms otherwise?

Joe opened his big mouth on Larry King and accidentally confirmed Niley 2.0 despite Nick trying desperately to avoid this, surprising no one but greatly amusing everyone (except Nick).

Nick flew out to visit Miley while she was filming The Last Song in Georgia, where paps caught potato-quality yet still iconic pics of them making out on a jet ski.

Miley made a surprise appearance to sing Before the Storm with Nick for opening night of the boys’ tour, which remains to this day the only time they’ve ever performed it live as a duet.

Selena Gomez & The Scene dropped a song called I Won’t Apologize which (on top of just dragging Nick for filth in general) pretty obviously referenced the love triangle, basically saying he’d tried to turn her into Miley or at least that she’d felt like she needed to turn into Miley to make him happy, and also seemed to imply there was overlap between Nelena 1.0 and Niley 2.0. At the time this last bit was very scandalous lore for young fans to digest, even though in hindsight that was really like. The least surprising revelation ever lmao. ALSO this song was meant to be like an empowered I Don’t Need No Man anthem, with her being all “you don’t deserve me” and “I won’t go back again” which is just…genuinely so fucking funny in context. Spoiler alert: she sure as fuck will go back again.

Then at some point that summer Miley got into her own insane love triangle which somehow seemed even messier than the first one, and after a few weeks of general chaos and confusion (apparently so confusing that even Miley herself walked away unsure of some of the exact dates involved) things eventually culminated with her and Nick apparently breaking up again and her stepping out with co-star Liam Hemsworth not long after. Mess upon mess. I very vaguely remember that in the months following Niley 2.0.’s death Nick was spotted two or three times with…some girl who had like a bit part in one of the Camp Rock movies, I think? I want to say Courtney or Chloe something but again I’m not looking shit up for this. To this day I’m not really clear on if there was anything to that or if it was just a rumor bc he was seen near a girl during his first time ever being single for more than like a month, but if he and Random Third Girl actually did have anything it must have been very brief because…

Did Nick learn from the experience of seemingly being on the other end of a love triangle, as one of the two people being played with at once by the third, that this feels like shit and maybe he shouldn’t do it to girls anymore? NOPE! By late 2009 he’d already run straight back to Selena, who happily took him right back as if she hadn’t just spent the last year publicly whacking him all over Twitter and in her music. God every single one of these kids was a fucking disaster GIRL WHERE’S THE SELF-RESPECT WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT ENTIRE DISS TRACK YOU WROTE

Anyway. Nelena 2.0 and general 2010 lore highlights, once again probably out of order but oh well:

Miley was very blatantly pissed when Nelena reunited and publicly shaded both of them several times, despite the facts that 1) she actively had a boyfriend at the time and 2) by all appearances she was the one who’d dumped Nick for someone else anyway, because apparently her not wanting Nick did not mean Selena could have him. Okay girl. One of these occasions that I remember being HUGE gossip was when she changed the lyrics in 7 Things to say Nick’s brothers were jerks, rather than his friends; it remains unclear to this day what, if anything, the brothers did around this time to suddenly warrant their own specific lashing.

Nick Jonas & The Administration’s album Who I Am dropped, featuring several songs commonly thought to be about each of the girls, but I don’t think Nick ever explicitly confirmed any of them.

For some occasion (maybe Valentine’s Day?) Nick, nothing if not dramatic, built some sort of elaborate rose garden at Selena’s house as a surprise – likely a reference to the NJ&TA song Rose Garden which was allegedly about her. Roughly a year later after they’d broken up again Selena would do her own on-stage lyric change in reference to this, bitterly saying something like “the roses you built me were only made of plastic.”

Justin Bieber made his first appearance in Selena’s life while she was still with Nick. While there’s no evidence that anything beyond some mild public flirting happened between them until after Nelena 2.0 ended, him showing up in this timeline at all is still just…incredibly fucking funny to me. A THIRD love triangle has somehow hit the fucking towers.

Nick performed the song Stay for the first time, setting off a fandom debate over its muse that still persists to this day. Some think it was about Selena because they were together at the time and because she was present and seen crying in the audience when he performed it; others think it was about Miley because she also had a song called Stay that Nick’s seemed to directly respond to in a lot of ways, and because Selena’s tears as he sang it didn’t really look like particularly happy ones. Many OG fans still have passionate opinions about this today, and we will almost certainly never find out which group is right.

Nelena 2.0 was ultimately rather brief, not lasting more than 3 or 4 months into 2010 I’m pretty sure, and with its death the official Disney love triangle era finally concluded as Selena jumped out of the frying pan into the fire left Nick behind to enter her Bieber era, which by all appearances was also a giant chaotic mess because apparently none of these kids ever did anything that wasn’t. It was at this point that Nick finally started to have confirmed relationships with people who weren’t the same two girls over and over, so we can finally try out the relationship bullet points now.

At some point that couldn’t have been more than a couple months at most post-Nelena, in like mid-2010, Nick started dating Samantha Barks whom he met while they were preparing to star in the Les Mis 25th Anniversary Concert together. They were pretty quiet about it, and I was also hyperfixating on something non-JB at the moment and not super interested in general, so I’ve never known too much about this and am honestly not sure if there was even any more public info to know. As far as I remember this relationship was also not particularly long-lived, lasting like 5-6 months maybe, but also didn’t seem to involve any public drama which was a new and refreshing change for Nick.

I’m really fuzzy on the order here but somewhere in 2010, right around the time Jonas L.A. started airing and their characters were will-they-or-won’t-they-ing and then dating, it was rumored that Nick and Nicole Anderson were together. Most fans never believed this (I personally still don’t) as with the timing it seemed like a very obvious ploy for show publicity, but to this day there are some truthers out there who insist something happened between them. If it did then it must have either been very short-lived or overlapped with either Selena or Samantha, if not both – but by this point it was clear Baby Fuckboy Nick was no stranger to his relationships lowkey overlapping so honestly who fucking knows.

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN. MILEY’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND. Niley 3.0, which happened in I want to say very early 2011, was Nick and Miley’s briefest and last obvious attempt at…something. It was never clear if they were really back together during this period or just hooking up or what, but they were definitely doing something notable enough to include here. (Bonus: Miley was definitely also still being messy with Liam, who by this point she’d also already been on-again off-again with like twice, at the exact same time as this all this was happening because of course she was. Why would any of these damn kids ever have had one unhealthy situationship going at a time when they could have two?) They were pretty quiet about things this time and I also still wasn’t paying super close attention, so I don’t remember much aside from a few spottings of them together and a lot of vague Twitter flirting, and it didn’t seem to last longer than a few months. ALSO there was a really weird incident during this time where the day after an event they both attended, where they were rumored to have been very flirty and left in the same car, several articles came out alleging that Nick and/or his car had been spotted outside Miley’s house that night or the next morning…and then all of these articles just disappeared all at once. Like they were literally scrubbed from the internet, leaving only some gossip site comments from the young fans who’d happened to see them (including me which is how I vividly remember this) as the only recorded evidence that they ever existed at all. The most accepted theory for this bizarre occurrence is that it was true, there were pictures that someone was threatening to publish, and Disney, not wanting to clean up a “purity ring-touting teenage star spends the night with girl he’s not even officially dating” scandal and beyond rich enough to take the hit, just paid everyone off to make the entire situation go away by gaslighting everyone who had seen the original articles. So. That was a thing that happened once.

In like spring 2011 Nick started dating Delta Goodrem, who at the time was 26 or 27 and very fresh out of a broken engagement with another grown ass adult while he was barely 18 with no relationship experience outside of at most a small handful of teenage girls around his age. This relationship always made me uncomfortable at the time and if anything makes me much more uncomfortable now that I’m an adult, so I intentionally did not follow it at all then and am not about to seek out any information about it now either. All I really know is that it did seem to be relatively short-lived, which I can only imagine was probably a good thing.

At some point in like 2012 or early 2013, Nick and Rita Ora were seen talking at a couple of events. They looked kind of flirty but I don’t recall anyone thinking there was anything to it beyond them maybe hooking up once until he namedropped her in the song What Do I Mean, seemingly implying she’d burned him in some way…but when Rita was asked about it, she said she was super confused by the song because they were always just friends and she had no idea he liked her. Apparently she confronted him about it and he admitted he must not have done a good job expressing his feelings, and I guess it was all some kind of weird misunderstanding between them that he...made no attempts to clarify with her before publicly calling her out in an angry song. Alright then?

Olivia Culpo showed up in I want to say mid-2013. For full disclosure I was already not super into Nick when their relationship started, and after he broke up the band and then picked up his solo frat boy Jealous persona that I was just very very not into – it reminded me of my controlling over-possessive ex and grossed me out – I pretty much completely lost interest in him and just stopped following him at all for a few years, so I honestly missed most of their relationship entirely. Mostly all I remember of Olivia is that she wasn’t well-liked in the fandom (at least not in the beginning when I was still paying attention) because she and her family and friends were…incredibly blatant about very much enjoying the attention that her dating Nick brought them, we’ll say, and also quickly developed a reputation for being rude to fans both in person and online. Nick largely seemed happy with her though and they lasted…around two years? I think? She presumably inspired much of his early solo discography and I’m pretty sure appeared in at least one music video. Again, creepy possessive solo Nick gave me the ick, so I wasn’t consuming any of this and only know what I picked up through osmosis while keeping up with the fandom just enough to somewhat keep tabs on Joe and Kevin. (I do vaguely remember seeing a lot of discussion among fans about Nick’s then-bestie Demi not seeming to like Olivia/being subtly snarky about her on multiple occasions, which…hoo boy we’ll get to all THAT in a minute.) I want to say they broke up at some point in 2015. I feel like there should be more things to note in this section considering I’m pretty sure this was his longest continuous relationship until his marriage, but if there are I simply am not the person to note them because I just truly don’t know crap about this era of Nick’s life.

Continuing on from that, there was still at least a good few years post-Nolivia where I wasn’t keeping up with Nick at all, so other than the next few bullet points (that I learned about mostly via keeping up with the other person involved and not him) I really have no clue what he was doing. At some point he was connected to Kendall Jenner, and then I think Kate Hudson??? I have zero idea when these relationships happened, how long either of them lasted, or if they were even relationships at all or just rumors I saw on my infrequent trips through Jonas Twitter. This is why I almost didn’t write a Nick timeline to begin with, because there’s this whole big chunk of time that I’m just blank on so there’s definitely stuff missing. Sorry.

GUESS WHO ELSE IS BACK! BACK AGAIN!!! In I want to say 2015 there was a super weird little moment where Nick and Selena hung out together at some event, looking a little flirty, and then like a few days later he dropped the horny song Area Code out of nowhere and liked a bunch of tweets implying it was about Selena. Clearly this led to nothing, so I can’t count whatever this was as Nelena 3.0, but it was still notable and also very funny so I’m including it anyway. Jury’s still out on if they hooked up that one night and the song was written in response or if they didn’t hook up but he wanted to and put the song out as a request to be booty called; I’m equally amused by it either way. Maybe a tiny bit of subtlety next time, Nicholas.

This is kinda out of order but while we’re talking about the Disney days rising from the dead, Miley also popped back up a few times in surprisingly recent years, especially every time she and Liam broke up because Nick was apparently still perfectly eager to be her back-up plan. I feel like roughly 2015 and early 2018 both had periods where those two were suddenly interacting much more than usual, mostly via social media flirting that made observant fans wonder if something else was going on in private. Obviously we have no way to really know if anything was actually happening or if Nick commenting heart emojis all over every pic she posted was an attempt to make something happen that went nowhere, but either way it’s still enough to include here. (Also I didn’t mention it when we were on 2012 but obligatory shoutout to Nick performing Wedding Bells for the first time after Miley got engaged, which was genuinely ballsy as hell and a lowkey insane thing to do. Gagged the absolute hell out of literally everyone.)

Okay, now we have to talk about Demi. No one truly knows what exactly happened between these two, and unless Demi one of them decides to spill the tea in a memoir or something someday we probably never will, but whatever happened was definitely notable enough to be listed here. Basically they were very close friends for a long time and over that time other feelings definitely developed on at least Demi’s part, which was long suspected but finally confirmed in I think late 2017 when she dropped the songs Ruin the Friendship and Only Forever – both of which were clearly and unsubtly about Nick (No I Can’t Keep Denying Every Minute I think of you!), despite her refusing to outright confirm this no matter how many interviewers bluntly brought it up. She also claimed that the person they were written about had written songs about her too; many theories exist about this to this day but, as far as I’m aware, no one knows for sure which of Nick’s songs are about Demi or if these alleged songs were ever even publicly released in the first place. I can’t remember if Nick ever publicly responded to this whole ‘my best friend just told the whole world she’s both in love with and horny for me’ scandal or not (I kind of want to say he just ignored all of it and acted like nothing ever happened lol which…valid way to deal with that situation, I guess) but they did seem to spend a bit less time together right after that and it’s often speculated to have been the beginning of the end for their friendship. I’m not sure when exactly things exploded but I remember she publicly complained about not being invited to his wedding in late 2018, after unfollowing him on social media I think weeks or months before; there was seemingly a bit of drama between her and the boys when she left their formerly-shared team/manager and they stayed; and by 2020 she said in an interview that she no longer kept in contact with any of the boys. Two unreleased Demi songs have leaked in the years since that seemed to add more context to their falling out: Ain’t No Friend, which basically said he betrayed or abandoned her when she needed him most, and Big Little Lies, which seemed to confirm that there was something romantic between them at some point, or at the very least that Nick had made empty promises of something romantic happening in the future, and also implied he didn’t tell her about his engagement before the public found out and…kind of confirmed that the news was hard for her (I don’t really want to touch this too much but a lot of speculation exists that Nick getting engaged and Demi almost fatally overdosing like a few days later were directly related events). As far as I can tell they still don’t seem to be on speaking terms today, or at least they never interact publicly despite Demi having positive public interactions with Joe and Kevin since then, but apparently she did go to the boys’ Remember This tour in 2021? So. There’s that I guess.

In what must have been like April 2018, there was a series of pap pics of Nick kissing some totally random girl in Australia or somewhere after he like helped her when she fell off her bike or something???? Idk. The whole thing was very strange and I remember a lot of people speculating that it must be staged bc both the pictures and the whole situation were just so bizarre. As far as I know the girl was never identified and never popped back up with Nick again. Also this was very literally the last thing I heard that Nick was up to until literally like two months later when I heard he was suddenly engaged to a completely different person, which was a fucking insane thing to experience. This man’s life is such an enigma.

Anyway in like summer 2018 he got engaged to Priyanka, who I guess he’d met at some previous time when I wasn’t looking, and then a few months later they got married and now they have a kid. There’s…not much else for me to say about that really lol. The fun of these things is truly in recounting the past messiness, not the current longterm relationship everyone already knows.

SO WE’RE FINALLY DONE! That was absolutely ridiculous and I should be ashamed to have spent so much time on it but here it is. This actually was a really good distraction when I needed it but please feel free to judge me for possessing all this useless knowledge regardless lmao

#thank you for this deep dive into Nick's dating drama because HOLY SHIT

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bookishtheaterlover7 · 10 months ago

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Hi booky!!! Marketing anon here.

Again, here to remind everyone that I don’t work in entertainment.

However, a little tidbit: I have to do a press release for something my company recently got recognized for but our “big heads” are a bit disappointed we didn’t get the title we wanted. So we’re still doing a PR but we’re doing it for the headline to say we’re a “industry leader” - and that’s basically what our motive is. Get our SEO up, showing that our name shows up when you search industry leader and hoping media wants to talk to us to learn more. We also have a big conference event coming up so we’re hoping to release the PR in advance of attending the conference (you guessed it, to put our name out there to the people who matter).

Why am I bringing this up?

Again, I don’t know what the overall goal and plan is for CE/ PR team but he’s listed as married in his Wikipedia and I think, personally, that’s the most important reason. He needs to be married to someone so who it is isn’t really super important because the average person isn’t going to continue to look past that.

Now when people google him they will see he is married and allegedly settled down. He’s got recent pics with him with a ring on. And I’ll be honest, even for myself, when I see someone, a man especially, with a wedding ring on I for some reason automatically think, “stable.” I don’t know why. It’s so strange because I myself don’t even believe in marriage LOL but when I see someone else “linked up” I’m like oh ok good for you. ESP men and famous men for that. This may be a weird heteronormative brainwashing thing or I just have issues lol.

Also, I’m going to use Jeremy Renner for comparison. Jeremy was briefly married to Sonni Pacheco, his wife who he had one child with. She’s also 15 years younger and since their divorce has been pretty messy…lol. But there have always been rumors of Jeremy being a wild child and heavy partying and etc so when you google him to see, hey, he was married. He is a father. Despite the fact that he also married a nobody and she seems pretty intent on being a clout chaser or at least making him look bad, he still looks semi stable. He is a father, and he loves his kid. He was married - yes he is now divorced and he also recently survived a terrible accident so people are focusing on his amazing recovery and him being a good dad and not on whatever is going on with his divorce.

I have a sneaking suspicion these types of marriages happen to more people in Hollywood than you think. Especially with the men who have a bit of reputation for being players, wild partying, eternal bachelorhood…or even, a former playboy heartthrob turned beloved internet bf who just wants to find happiness and settle down. That way, once they do have that title of being settled down, the hope may be to refocus the attention on something else. Work, career, other endeavors, and less on personal life. Especially if CE’s current marriage narrative is that he’s being private. Now there’s going to be the trash tabloids talking all day about pregnancy and kids and family and etc etc. As upsetting as that can be for some fans, remember that settled down and stability often does include talk about kids and family. I think they’re just having a time of it because the fans so deeply loathe his wife. I don’t think anyway they spin it will make people welcome this pairing and potential kids more.

This is just my opinion though.

…

In regards to CE redeeming himself…please don’t take this the wrong way, but the public won’t care enough to look past who he married. I know some blogs on here are trying to mold a narrative the public condemns him now but I really don’t believe that’s true. I don’t think he needs to do any public redeeming because no, some angry comments on his IG regarding her is not the majority. I am sorry, but it is not.

The public losing interest does not = condemn.

He’s just fading in starmeter because well, he’s sort of had his time to shine, right? That’s usually what happens to most people. Look at the top list of highest grossing actors this year vs 2019. This year is all people who were in the biggest stuff. They had the most press and limelight.

CE and half the avengers were on the top list back in 2019. I remember this because at the time, some of my friends were googling him them because he had such a huge year. Do you see what I mean?

What goes up must come down. But it doesn’t mean he can’t come back in the future. Look, just because he got “married” doesn’t mean his life is over. It’s only over if he chooses to let it be over.

Please kindly remember that AB is not known to the GP as anyone other than the person who is married to him. I have my doubts she’ll ever be known as anything but but again, don’t quote me. I just don’t see her becoming this big star or even lukewarm star simply because she has sort of proven she has no draw or IT factor.

The one group he may have to “redeem” himself to is his fanbase. This one is tougher to navigate because I don’t know what their endgame will be in terms of what he does with his now marriage status. For now, he just looks like he’s settled down. I think the GP has more or less stopped checking for him in regards to anything else related to that, and from what it looks like, they were never even checking for AB even though she just had a movie release in the states. Lol.

I think the issue with AB is more that she’s been reliant on using someone else to get attention for two years now. So her boosts in fame will always have to be through him. I doubt that makes her very happy because from what I can infer, I think she wants to be famous on her own due to the public magically adoring her. If she had been truly content just being the wife she would have done more to boost HIM and leverage herself by association. Think of the other gf/wives of famous men. Don’t they always seem to boost themselves off being around their guys and getting people to like bOTH of them together? And then by association, people will follow them for more cute content and breadcrumbs. I think hemsworth’s wife does it, Blake lively as Ryan reynold’s wife does, Henry cavill’s gf does, Eva mendes’ does for Ryan gosling, and etc. all of these women are all actually people who do have their own careers but their husbands/partners are clearly the bigger stars. They lean into it and boost themselves at the same time.

AB does not. Maybe she’s not allowed to lol but also - she always only posts things about herself to try and draw the attention to herself. Her posting HIS dog was to draw attention to her. Her posting around the time he has work stuff but ignoring his work and basically acting like he doesn’t exist doesn’t help her at all but it’s what they’ve decided to do.

She was DOA before she even arrived. I honestly recommend if you are still a fan of his to just try and ignore her. It’s all you can do. If you cannot separate her from him then please consider just letting him go.

I am sorry if this is not what people want to hear. But I cannot know what they’re trying to do behind the scenes but I do think CE is pivoting to have people focus on his career and work instead. This can be a good thing. He may never regain that fanbase back because unfortunately of who he decided to let himself be linked to but it doesn’t mean the future is set in stone.

Have a good day booky! (Please angry anons do not come for the mod. Its just one stranger’s opinion)

Always a pleasure to read your replies, Marketing An🫶n. Especially with the good points you continue to make ❤️

You had me worried that you weren't able to read my posts 😅🥹 I'm glad that you are though 😁

As for angry an🫶ns and readers... Honestly, it's fine... It means they're accepting my welcome invitation for a vent space. Which honestly, everyone needs.

Until the next one, Marketing An🫶n 😊

#An🫶n asks #Marketing An🫶n to An🫶n #Hello Marketing An🫶n #Marketing An🫶n answers #booky reacts #booky answers #chris evans #chris evans fandom #Always a pleasure ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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