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drewharrisonwriter · 1 year ago

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On the Mend - Ch 3: You Don’t Have To

No Outbreak Joel Miller x Female Reader

Read this on AO3 | On the Mend Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summary: Of all the things you did to erase Joel Miller in your life, there was one thing you forgot about--having him as your emergency contact.

Word count: 1,584

A/N: Here's chapter 3 and it looks like reader and Joel are on their way to patching things up. IDK. LOL I'm honestly just going along with my deluluness on this one. Also, tagging @vickie5446 for this update. If you want to be tagged for the next ones, just leave a comment ^_^

The days following Joel's unexpected visit were a whirlwind of emotions for her. She couldn't shake the memory of seeing him standing on her doorstep, bruised and broken, pleading for a chance to make amends. It stirred a chaotic mix of feelings within her, and she found herself torn between her love for him and her resentment for the pain he had caused.

It didn't help that Joel had sent her texts simply asking her how she is and if they could see each other again. All of which she left on read. Still unsure if she still wants Joel back in her life.

Days turned into a relentless march toward her impending maternity leave.

She buried herself in work, taking on overtime to secure extra pay and ensure her coworkers wouldn't be burdened in her absence. It was a way to stay busy, to distract herself from the storm of thoughts and emotions raging within. Between work, her doctor's appointments and the preparations for the nursery, her days were filled to the brim.

Too much so that one hot afternoon, as the sun blazed down on her car during her drive home from work, she felt an unexpected, sharp pain in her lower abdomen. It caught her off guard, and she winced in discomfort, her grip on the steering wheel tightening. She tried to dismiss it as just another round of pregnancy discomfort, but the pain persisted and grew stronger with each passing moment.

With a trembling hand, she reached for her phone and dialed her doctor's number. As she explained her symptoms, the doctor advised her to head straight to the hospital, suspecting it might be preterm labor. Panic coursed through her veins as she obeyed the instructions.

Rushing through the hospital doors, she tried to remain calm despite the escalating pain. The nurses quickly took her to a room, and she was placed under observation, calling her emergency contact as they worked on her.

---

Joel had just picked up Sarah from her soccer practice after work, and they were heading home with Tommy in tow when his phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and his brows furrowed in confusion at the number he did not recognize.

"Quit bickering, you two!" Joel said hushing the two who were arguing about something as he answered the call.

“Hello?” His blood ran cold as he listened to the nurse on the other end explain the situation.

Without a second thought, Joel made a swift U-turn, the tires screeching on the pavement.

"Jesus Christ, Joel!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Dad, what's going on?" Sarah asked worriedly.

Joel's knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel as he navigated through traffic, his mind racing. "She's at the hospital,” his voice tight. " Somethin's wrong."

---

The hospital felt like a blur as Joel rushed through the corridors, his heart pounding with each step. When he arrived at her room, he was met with a mix of relief and surprise. She lay in the hospital bed, her face etched with pain, and when her eyes met his, she looked astonished.

"Joel? What are you doing here?" she managed to say between breaths.

Joel's worry didn't subside, but he couldn't help but smile faintly. "I'm still listed as your emergency contact," he explained, his voice filled with a mixture of concern and tenderness.

Her brow furrowed in realization, and she seemed flustered. "I'm so sorry, Joel. You shouldn't have come, I meant to change that."

Joel shook his head, his eyes never leaving her. "You don't need to do that," he replied softly. "I'm here because I want to be. I want to be here for you and the baby..."

She blinked away the tears and took a deep breath. "Joel, I appreciate that you want to help, but I've managed this far on my own, and I can handle it. You don't need to feel obligated."

Joel nodded, his expression filled with understanding. "I know you're strong and capable, and I know so well that you can do it on your own. But I also know how tough it is to care for a newborn alone. I've been there, and I don't want you to go through it if I can help."

Their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills. She wanted to prove her independence, to show Joel that she could handle everything just fine on her own, that she doesn't need him in her life as much as he didn't want her to be a constant in his.

Before she could respond, the intern entered the room, donned in a white coat and a warm smile.

"Good evening," the intern greeted kindly, glancing between the two of them.

"I've reviewed your test results, and it appears that what you experienced was indeed a false alarm. This can sometimes happen due to stress or other factors, especially during the later stages of pregnancy."

Relief washed over her, and she nodded gratefully. "So I can go home tonight?"

"Absolutely!" The intern continued, "I also called your OB and she advised that you be on bed rest with bathroom privileges until your next routine checkup next week."

"Thank you, doc. I'll make sure she's well taken care of." Joel answered for her.

After providing some more instructions, the intern excused herself from the room. "I'll have someone process your discharge papers," she said as she closed the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone.

Joel turned his attention back to her, his determination unwavering.

"I'm comin’ home with you." he insisted, his voice soft yet firm. "Let me take care of you, even if it's just until your next doctor's appointment."

She hesitated, her desire for independence warring with the growing realization that accepting Joel's help might be the best course of action.

"I don't want to burden anyone, Joel," she confessed, worry etching lines on her face. “Besides, what about Sarah? Tommy can’t handle stuff all on his own, and you both have work.”

“You don’t worry ‘bout all that now.” he assured her. “Tommy and Sarah can manage without me for the next couple of days, in fact you can ask them yourself.” He smiled lightly.

“What?” Her eyes widened in surprise. "Tommy and Sarah are here?" she asked, her voice filled with longing.

“They’re, uh, outside.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Do-do you think Sarah would want to see me?” She asked him softly, feeling unsure and a little embarrassed about basically ghosting a 10 year old who considered her as a mother-figure.

“Of course, darlin’.” Joel said, “I’d go get them if you want.” She nodded and Joel's smile grew wider as he walked out of the room to call in Tommy and Sarah.

When they entered the room, her heart nearly burst with joy. Sarah squealed in excitement at the sight of her, and they shared a warm hug, both happy to be reunited after too long apart.

Sarah was brimming with curiosity. "Mom, how are you? Is the baby okay?"

She smiled down at the little girl, touched by her concern. "I'm doing much better now, sweetie, and the baby's just fine." Suddenly Sarah started sniffling.

“I’m so happy to see you again.” Fat tears began to roll down her plump cheeks. “Please, mom, come home…” The little girl pleaded.

“Sarah–”Joel started but was cut off.

“It’s okay, Joel.” She assured him, clinging tightly to Sarah.

Joel stepped closer, a comforting presence beside them. "Sarah, your mom needs to rest for a little while," he explained gently, his hand resting on her shoulder. "But maybe when she's a little better, she may want to hang out..." Joel's statement came out as a question directed at her and she nodded in reply.

"That's absolutely right, sweetie," she chimed in, her voice soft and warm. "I just need to get better so that your baby sister can keep growing stronger before she arrives."

"She?" The three Millers asked in unison.

“Oh…” A faint blush crept onto her cheeks as she smiled. "Yes, Sarah is going to have a baby sister."

After a few more moments of heartfelt exchanges, they reluctantly said their goodbyes to Sarah and Tommy, assuring them that they would see each other soon. As the door closed behind them, she sighed deeply, feeling the weight of the emotional encounter.

Joel turned his attention back to her, his gaze soft with a hint of uncertainty.

"I'm so sorry," he began, his voice carrying a tone of regret, "I didn't mean to make plans for you and Sarah—"

"It's alright, Joel," she interjected, offering a faint smile. "I truly want to see Sarah again. I think I owe her an apology and an explanation." She admitted, and he responded with a grateful nod. "Thank you," he breathed out.

She absentmindedly stroked her swollen belly; the contractions had ceased, but she still felt uncomfortable.

"So, uh..." Joel started, his hand nervously rubbing his neck, "does that mean you're okay with me stayin' over for a couple of days?"

"Yes," she nodded, "Thank you, Joel. You really don't have to, though. I can ask—"

"No, no," Joel interrupted, his voice earnest. "Please, I want to... I want to take care of you and the baby."

A brief silence settled in the room, interrupted only when a nurse popped her head through the door with the paperwork.

Soon after, they found themselves walking to her car, with Joel behind the wheel, driving her home.

Next Chapter 👉🏻

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elliespassagerprincess · 1 year ago

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I would love to see you write an unrequited love story with I’m not a mountain by Sarah kinsley always gets me in my feels

I'm not a mountain (ellie wiliams x reader)

Hi anon! sorry it took me so long to write this, I couldn't think of a good plot, but I finally got something! I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song I'm not a mountain by Sarah Kingsly so if you can, please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open feel free to leave one!

Warnings: violence and death, Ellie being stupid

Summary: In which Ellie makes stupid decisions

wc: 2.1k

(La da da da da da)

If I could choose the things that I knew

And all the things that I'd see

I'd let the room fill with memories until

The walls were staring at me

Ellie sighed as she opened her eyes. She sat up, bringing her right hand to scratch her head.

She couldn’t sleep. You plagued her mind like a disease. For some fucking reason it seems the memory of you was stuck in her mind.

The way you smiled. The way you laughed at her. The way you dressed depending on your mood. The way you-

Fuck.

She had work tomorrow. She should be sleeping. But you were running circles through her mind.

Ellie looked at her desk that sat in the corner of her room. She let out a loud groan at the memory of you sitting at the table and looking at her with puppy eyes begging her to go out with you.

You were everywhere. Everywhere she looked, everything in her room had you written all over it.

Your spirit lingered there.

“What?” Ellie asked loudly as she looked at the stuffed dinosaur you gave on her birthday. “You think I’m stupid too?” she asked as if it would respond to her.

She had work tomorrow she shouldn’t be awake but you.

God you were making it hard for her.

“I fucking hate you” Ellie muttered as she lay back down, bringing the blanket over her head.

She knew she was lying.

She doesn’t hate you. She could never. But she really needed to stop thinking about you.

The mystery of life is just taking flight

I watch the walls closing in

So I swallow my pride and I take another bite

I guess I'm dreaming again

“I love you” Ellie muttered.

“I know els” you replied with a small smile.

“please come back” Ellie begged. “I can’t” you simply said, still having that sweet smile on your face.

“No- no you said you would always be here for me” Ellie spoke back tears filling her eyes.

“things change Ellie”

“no- no please- “

“Fuck!” Ellie screamed as she woke up. It was another fucking dream.

You already haunt her with the memories the two of you have together, now you were showing up in her dreams.

She couldn’t escape you.

She wanted to hate you. She wanted to blame you for everything that went wrong in her life. But she couldn’t because all of this was her fault. It was her fault that you left. It was Ellie’s fault that you died. But she couldn’t accept it.

It was as if you were still here. Barging into her room with that stupid smile of yours saying “look what I have els”.

But you weren’t there anymore. The only thing left was the memories. And countless dreams Ellie has of you.

Ellie finally understands what people meant when they said you never know how much you truly love someone till you lose them.

She wishes she could go back in time and tell herself to wake up and to tell you how she felt.

How much she loved you. How much she appreciated you.

But you were gone. You were never coming back.

I swear I'm unattached

Living in the past but

I can't get off my feet

You say we'll all go mad

But I don't believe that

So you'll prove it to me

Ellie always knew she had a crush on you.

She remembered the day she and Joel walked into Jackson for the first time. You stood behind Tommy with wide eyes looking at the two of them.

Ellie’s first words to you were: “you have a staring problem or am I just that beautiful?” and you replied: “I think I might have a staring problem”

And since that day the two of you were inseparable.

You both followed each other everywhere. Where Ellie went, you were always there. Joel knows if he ever needed to look for Ellie, she would be at your house. People would even joke and say the two of you were sisters. That how close you were.

When Ellie realized she was in love with you, she was 15.

You were helping her at the stables with her horse Shimmer.

“You think shimmer is a cool name?” you had asked Ellie

“No I would’ve named her something space related”

“Mars”

“What?”

“I think you would’ve named her Mars”

“How did you know I was gonna call her that?” Ellie questioned puzzled

“Because you’ve been talking about Mars for the last 2 weeks”

“You listen to me?”

“Of course I do Ellie. What friend would I be if I didn’t listen??

And in that moment Ellie knew you were the one for her.

Years went by and Ellie’s crush on you grew. She would never admit it out loud but she would sabotage all your relationships. When you brought someone home, or when you tell Ellie you went on a date with someone she would find the person and threaten them.

She would tell them to stay away from you.

Her girl.

You never knew why your relationships never worked out. You really thought there was something wrong with you. But little did you know, it was your best friend who got rid of anyone that was interested in you.

Ellie smiled at the memory of the two of you talking about changing Shimmers name. Ellie brought her hand up to run her fingers through Shimmers mane.

“You miss her too?” Ellie asked the horse but she received no answer.

“Well I miss her” Ellie spoke softly.

“You look like shit” she heard Jesse’s voice suddenly talk from behind her.

“shut up”

“when was the last time you got some sleep?” Jesse asked, seriously concerned about his best friend.

“That’s not important”

“Ellie- “

“Jesse drop it?” she spoke through gritted teeth.

Jesse let out a sigh “we’re all worried about you Ellie?”

“I don’t fucking care” Ellie snapped, as she got onto Shimmer “I’m not in the mood for your pity. Now shut up and get on the horse”

Jesse let out a defeated sigh as he hopped on the horse.

“Let’s get this over with”

(La da da da da da)

If I could choose, I'd never lose

I'd always take without giving

I wrote down the truth in letters to you

But I know you'll never get them

The air surrounding Ellie and Jesse was tense as they rode in silence.

“It’s Wednesday” Ellie suddenly said.

“You want to visit her?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah”

“we all miss her Ellie” he started “It wasn’t your fault- “

“it was” Ellie cut him off “If I didn’t kill her girlfriend she would’ve not left Jackson and she wouldn’t have died”

“Why did you kill Abby?”

And Ellie fell silent. She killed Abby because she was in love with you. She had to do something. She remembers the day as if it was yesterday. Abby was your longest relationship ever. Ellie had told the blonde to stay away from you multiple times but she didn’t. She stayed with you.

Ellie’s hatred towards the girl grew when the two of you moved in. You were happy. You were happier with Abby than what you were with her. You even started hanging out less. Ellie was losing you, and she didn’t like it. You belonged to her. No one else. But yet you moved in with someone else.

You had never given Ellie an indication that you liked her. Every time she would try and flirt with you, you would just laugh it off and say: “very funny Ellie”. Every move she would try and make on you, you would either laugh it off or ignore her.

One day Dina said “you guys would make a cute couple”

Ellie felt heat spread across her cheeks. She was probably as red at a tomato. Before Ellie could say anything you let out a laugh saying “me and Ellie? Never in a million years” you laughed.

Ellie cried. She cried for weeks. She even tried avoiding you, but like a moth to a flame she always went back to you.

When you started dating Abby she was filled with jealousy. But she had no right to be jealous. You weren’t even together.

One winter night, a night Ellie knew you wouldn’t be home, she decided to pay Abby a visit.

“What are you doing here?” the blonde asked her. “I’m here to make peace” Ellie lied. Abby let her in with a shocked expression.

“I’m actually surprised” Abby spoke, as soon as she turned her back towards Ellie, Ellie pulled out a knife stabbing the blonde in the back. Abby let out a groan, as she turned around to face Ellie, the knife still in her back. When she faced Ellie, Ellie brought out another knife bringing it into Abby’s stomach. Abby’s eyes widened, blood slowly dripping from her wound. Ellie watched as Abby’s eyes roll to the back of her head before she heard your voice.

You weren’t supposed to be here.

“Baby do you think I’d look good with- Ellie?” you asked, surprised to see her here. Your eyes moved from Ellie to your girlfriend bleeding. The dark red liquid already decorated the floor.

And sadly Abby passed away a few hours later due to blood loss.

What Ellie did was unforgivable. She murdered the love of your life in cold blood. “forgive and forget” they said.

You weren’t sure if you could ever forgive or forget the murder of your girlfriend. The girl you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And what makes it worse was that it was your best friend. The girl who was supposed to comfort you. The girl you trusted with your life.

You hated Ellie. You really did.

“Jesse, can I go talk to her alone?” Ellie asked.

Jesse gave her a sympatric smile: “yeah go ahead I’ll be here when you get back.” Ellie hopped off Shimmer and she started walking up the hill.

When she eventually reached the top, a single cross decorated the hill. You name carved onto it. There were fresh pink flowers, Ellie could only assume Joel must’ve been here.

“Hi” she spoke softly as she approached the grave. Ellie sat down in front of the cross, her legs crossed. “It’s been a while” she chuckled “you really have to stop appearing in my dreams I’m tired as hell, even Jesse noticed I don’t sleep” she laughed once more.

“I got you something” Ellie spoke. She pulled out a pile of letters neatly folded. “You’ve been gone for 203 days she stared. I wrote you a letter for each day.” She spoke softly, afraid that she might wake you up and scare you away. Ellie gently placed the stack of letters beneath the flowers.

She hoped maybe the letters would break down and sink into the ground, and that maybe you’d read it. Or maybe your spirit would come down and read them. She hopes you’d somehow read them and understand why she did what she did. She did it because she loved you.

Ellie has many regrets in her life, but the biggest one was, letting you leave Jackson, without her telling you how she felt about you.

Before Ellie got up she brought her lips to the cross, giving it a gentle kiss. “I’m so sorry baby” Ellie spoke and she got up and left to continue patrol with Jesse.

If I were a mountain, I'd stand my ground

And maybe I'd never listen

But if I were a mountain, I'd close my mouth and

Maybe I'd be forgiving

But I'm not

I'm not

When Ellie found out you had left Jackson it felt like whole world was being ripped apart.

“What do you mean she left?” Ellie yelled at Maria.

“Ellie she has nothing to live for anymore, it’s better that she goes out and finds purpose”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You killed her girlfriend Ellie, you are the last person she wants to see”

Ellie was going after you. She was going to tell you how she felt. She marched out of Maria’s office and ran straight to the stables, hopping on Shimmer.

“Which direction did she go?” Ellie asked one of the guards at the gate.

“She went north” he replied.

“C’mon Shimmer move faster” she begged the horse.

There was still time she could still get to you, and convince you to stay. Ellie would finally reveal how she truly felt about you. She could tell you why she killed Abby. She would make you understand.

Ellie and shimmer were running for a few hours before her eyes landed on a familiar backpack. Ellie hopped of her horse, she pulled out her gun walking over to the pink and purple backpack that you carried everywhere with you.

As she approached the bag she heard the sound of a clicker.

*click, click, click*

Ellie turned her head to the direction of where the sound came from and there you lay.

Lifeless.

Ellie let out a scream and the clicker looked at her, and it started charging towards her. Ellie shot it at point blank and she ran to where you lay.

“No” she breathed as the tears rolled down her cheeks as she walked towards your body.

There was blood everywhere, she almost didn’t recognize you. You were bruised. Covered in blood, scratch marks littered your skin.

Ellie went down onto her knees as she took you into her arms, and she let out loud sobs.

This was all her fault.

I'm not a mountain

I can't hold you on my own

I'm not a mountain

I will crumble when you go

There in the square, my arms in the air

And is it so bad to be alone?

I can do it on my own

Is it really so bad?

I can do it on my own

How do you continue living if you lost the love of your life?

Ellie understands now how it felt when you lost Abby. She now understands why you left Jackson.

You were lonely. Empty.

Ellie stood at the gates of Jackson. She sees no point in living here anymore. Everywhere she looked she saw you. Every place had a piece of you and she got sick of it.

Ellie wanted to be ok. She wanted to feel like herself again. She wanted to forgive herself, but she couldn’t. So she’s running away from her problems. Like a coward.

As Ellie walked in the woods she thought to herself, maybe being alone won’t be so bad. She won’t have Jesse or Joel breathing down her neck constantly asking her if she was ok.

Of course she wasn’t fucking ok, why do they keep asking?

Ellie saw a familiar hill, and walked up to it. The letters she’d placed were still under the flowers someone had left.

Ellie lay next to your grave, hoping that someone would come and kill her. Maybe in the afterlife she could tell you how much she loved you.

And hopefully you’d forgive her, and she’d finally get the happily ever she’s always dreamed of.

Authors note: this was long oneeeeee, I hope you all enjoyed, remember you are loved and to always be kind…. My requests are always open feel free to leave one:)

Yours truly,

Zia<3

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girlboybug · 1 year ago

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trash magic

"boy, you wanna hold me down and tell me that you love me?"

or the one where you get a tattoo for joel and he shows you just how much he appreciates it.

what’s playing 🎧 trash magic by lana del rey

pairing : joel miller x reader

word count : 2k

*unedited*

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUT, joel is sooo super turned on by your tattoo, size kink, overstimulation, mentions of unspecified age gap, unprotected sex, tit-fucking, lots of heavy petting/groping, praise and hints of degrading, joel is a dirty depraved man muahaha

TRIGGER WARNINGS : uhh none come to mind but if there’s something that is triggering plz let me know. otherwise enjoy <3

a/n : hi guys i’m so sorry it took me FOREVER to update, i just wanted to post smth small bc i felt bad abt my lack of presence on here. i wanna say thank u so much for the love and support on my work it means the absolute WORLD to me. life has just been so draining and writing has fallen to the back burner and i HATE it but here, i hope this slightly makes up for it, i promise i have a lot in store!!

it had been just a little over a month. a little over a month without joel was time spent cruelly—longingly. and in all honesty, most people in jackson wondered why you were so distraught over his lack of presence, unable to comprehend why a young, pretty girl spent all her time trailing behind a stone-faced old man. but he was your stone-faced old man. his hard glare, monotone responses and hands that were perpetually stuck in fists, were all aspects you loved about him, despite the fact that they seemed to act as a wall to block everyone out. but what people didn’t realize was that those walls came right back down the second it came to you.

you figured their judgment lied in the point of view that they had of him. they only saw cold joel, unfriendly joel who had zero time for anyone except ellie and, maybe you. but they didn't see the way he was when you were alone. they didn’t see the way his face would drop all its coldness when he'd look at you, his fists following in suit and unraveling into gentle hands that would tighten around your jaw to pull you up for a kiss. instead, all they saw was a hardened old man leading on some girl young enough to be his daughter.

and even if he was, you didn't care. it was hard to care about anything when he'd press his mouth over yours, enveloping you in and cleansing you of everything you've ever worried about the second his tongue pushed past your lips. you replayed the way his scruff felt against your skin, your bare tummy…your inner thighs. you squirmed around in the booth at the tipsy bison, ignoring the comments about how you're going to regret getting the tattoo that you did, how joel is nice and all, but he's the last guy you should be getting a tattoo for.

you didn’t fucking care, the only thing that you did care about was how he would feel about it. and god, you hoped he liked it. you are definitely not one to handle pain all that well, and with the limited supplies cat had after tattooing ellie, you were extra nervous of all that could go wrong. but you missed joel so much, you needed something, anything, that felt like a piece of him was always with you.

the moth sticker on the neck of his guitar always did catch your eye, and when he was gone, you’d cradle his guitar, hold it the way he would and simply stare at the sticker. you imagined him the day he stuck it on, the way he’d look down at it, and maybe even smile to himself. it made your heart just about ache at the image.

you grew antsy to show joel the more you thought about it, but maintained what little patience you had left. you decided to keep it a surprise until you both got home, feeling as though the reveal was something that deserved to be private for you two alone.

—

“i have a surprise for you.” you whispered excitedly, clambering into his lap. he smiled up at you, pushing his glasses into his hair and shutting his book. his eyes fell to your fingers that slowly took their time unbuttoning each little button on the flannel that…suspiciously looks a whole lot like the one that went missing from his side of the closet.

“that so?” he hummed in that low gruff voice of his, a hot feeling stirring in his lower stomach as he watched the flannel begin to part the lower you went.

“mhm. i hope you like it.” you murmured, swallowing hard when you pulled the flannel open. his eyes lingered on yours for a moment before traveling down to the valley of your breasts, gasping when he saw a moth decorating your skin.

“are you out your goddamn mind?” joel exhaled in disbelief, tracing his fingers over the moth splayed across your sternum.

your hands gripped the fabric of your flannel, fingernail rolling over the button with nerves. “are you…are you mad?” you unintentionally whimpered, and he shook his head, sitting up with you in his lap, leaning forward and pulling his glasses back down to look at it better. “no baby no but, i…i coulda given you the sticker i had,” he laughed, unable to peel his eyes off of the tattoo. you rolled your eyes jokingly but in the back of your mind, fear was starting to settle in.

did he hate it?

“do you like it?” you asked quietly, praying he said yes. “oh, baby i love it,” he uttered heavily, bringing his stare from your chest up to your face. he pulled you by your chin, smile still on his lips while he kissed you. you cupped his face, thumbs circling around the stubble on his jaw, a giddy feeling beginning to bubble in your tummy.

“did it hurt?” he questioned with his lips still close to yours. you nodded, pecking him. “yeah. but i just thought of you the whole time,” you admitted truthfully, smiling fondly down at him. he shook his head, kissing you again. he made a sound of sympathy, running his thumb along your bottom lip. he stared at your chest before something clicked in him, making him flip you on your back.

he wasn’t phased by the surprised yelp that left you, instead he was focused on stopping your hands from trying to hide your bare chest with the flannel. “unh unh don’t cover up now, too pretty to be doin that,” he chastised lowly, devouring you with his eyes. you grew hot under him as he continued speaking. “looks so good on you…real good, wish i was there with ya while you got it done baby,” he groaned, hands groping your breasts, thumbs straying to caress the wings of the moth.

you whined hushedly, arching your back into his touch. “i do too but you were gone,” you formed something like a pout, pushing an upset finger into his chest. he tsked, holding your accusatory hand to kiss your palm. “i know, i know, already said m’sorry baby,” he murmured, taking advantage of the way you softened at his actions. he trailed kisses down your jaw, murmuring more apologies for his absences. his words were enough, and all you could do was just lean into him, taking every touch and kiss he gave you happily.

“can’t believe you did this,” he breathed out, pressing his growing bulge to your clothed core. you whined, sitting up on your elbows. your ankles lock around him eyeing him from under your eyelashes. “i just wanted to feel like you were always with me, i missed you so much joel,”

he breathed in sharply at your confessions, his cock twitching and heart racing. “oh baby,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead lovingly. “missed you too. thought about you all the time.” his hand rubbed your outer thigh making its way between your legs. “thought abt this,” he exhaled, feeling you buck down into his palm with a sweet little moan from your lips.

“missed it s’goddamn much, missed you the most though,” he muttered, the familiar twange in his voice sparking a smile across your face. he pushed your panties to the side, gathering your slick with the pads of his fingers, his cockhead weeping with precum when it registered just how wet you were with such small touches.

he pushed his middle finger in and wasted no time in fucking you with his digit just the way you liked. you cried out, gripping his wrist while he fucked into your little cunt with his finger, groaning to himself at how tight you felt.

he leaned down, kissing all over the tattoo, licking and nipping at your breasts while you tangled your fingers in his hair.

“joel—fuck, just, just—please fuck me,” you breathed out, the patience you’d been struggling to keep had finally ran out, and you couldn’t wait anymore, you needed to have him the way you’ve been craving all this time. “shit—alright, need it tha’ bad huh,” he grunted, pulling himself from out his boxers.

he held your waist with both large hands of his, pushing inside you, burying his face in your chest and groaning loudly at the way you grip him. you cried out, nails digging into his wide back, teeth grazing his shoulder while you tried to catch your breath.

the stretch burned and tingled, rippling through your skin and nerves in a way you hadn’t felt in so long. he pushed in and out of you slowly and gently, shaky little breaths that sounded obscene, fanned out over your lips from his parted mouth, and you breathed them all in, pulling him in closer.

his forehead rested on yours, kissing you while his hips grounded down into yours, taking his time to appreciate how fucking good you felt all around him. utterances of f-fuck, baby poured into your mouth from his, casting a warm sensation to spread across your cheeks.

he rocked into you, somehow going deeper with every thrust. knowing that he was filling you to the very brim sent him into a mindless delirium, and in return fastening the way he fucked you. gentleness morphed into rushed, desperation to feel you, every single inch and crevice and to make up for lost time.

you took him in, tightening your calves around his lower back, tugging at the back of his hair while his tongue lapped at your tits and sternum, losing his mind at the fact that you’ve marked yourself as his with this moth. your bold declaration of love and dedication to him turned him on in ways he couldn’t even begin to fathom and the more he thought about it, the harder his hips crashed down into yours.

“missed me so much you had to get something that reminded you of me tattooed on ya’,” he grunted, grabbing one of your legs and haphazardly throwing it over his shoulder, shuffling even closer to fuck you harder. you couldn’t even reply correctly, all you could do was tearfully babble, nodding stupidly.

“love you so much joel,” you hiccuped, entire body being nearly fucked into the headboard, tits bouncing mesmerizingly with each thrust joel sends into you.

“say it again,” he groaned, cock twitching at your open admissions. “i love you, love you love you so much,” you cried, leg beginning to tremble on top of his shoulder.

“‘love you too baby, love you so goddamn much,” he breathed out in a rasp, shuddering a heavy sigh when you tighten and pulse all around his cock.

he loved the way his hands just engulfed you, his hand almost covering the entirety of one of your breasts, palming your soft flesh. you were so easy to squeeze, to pick up and hold and fuck, and joel took full advantage of his strength and how palpable for him you were.

with ease he pulled you up along with him, still impaled on his fat cock, feeling a familiar cockiness spread in his chest when you whimpered at the feeling of him so far inside of you.

he rested on his haunches, keeping you upright with his hands gripping your hips tight, face falling into your chest once more, his beard tucking the valley of your breasts.

your bodies flowed into each other’s fluidly, hips rolling and meeting each and every thrust like clockwork, his hips coming up only to be met with yours crashing down into his. it was addicting, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, could barely even remember your own name, the only thing you could manage was fucking yourself onto joel.

“so deep,” you cried out through a series of whines and he laughed, bringing a big hand to your tummy, rubbing over where his cock bulged. you keened, lips trembling while you squeezed his shoulders. “i know baby i know,” he crooned, plastering an open mouth kiss onto you.

he slid a hand between your wet grinding bodies to rub circles over your soaked little clit, chuckling to himself when you choked on a sob at the contact. you shook like a leaf in his arms, his sweet little angel so close, he felt it in the way your cunt gripped his cock, and it filled him with pride knowing he was the only one who could unravel you like this.

“know you needa cum baby—you gonna ask me?” he growled in your mouth, biting your bottom lip testingly. you whimpered, arching your chest into his, a little pathetic nod following your actions. “s-sorry joel, please please let me cum, feels so good i-i dunno if i can hold it,” you whimpered, trying to fuck yourself on his cock.

the swirls from his fingers over your clit persisted and it made you vibrate in his hold, your impending orgasm making you lose what little control you had over your own body.

“c’mon baby give it to me, cum all over it,” he grunted gruffly, and you shook wildly, squeezing your eyes shut and collapsing in his arms while your orgasm reverberated all throughout your limbs

“joel—oh my—fuck!” you sobbed, bouncing on his cock while you rode out your orgasm, feeling milked dry as he rubbed your clit into over sensitivity.

“good baby, so fuckin’ good,” he drawled out lowly, patting your poor abused clit with his long fingers. “wanna do somethin’ for me?” he panted and you nodded eagerly.

“lie back for me,” he ordered and you obeyed, laying back down onto the pillows beneath you. he begrudgingly pulled out of your tight cunt, shushing you when you whimpered at the loss of him inside you.

he straddled you, feeling his cock ache in his rough palm when you stared up at him, resting on your elbows, cute tits perked and barely concealed from his flannel.

he shoved the material away from your flesh, jerking himself off before he put it between your tits. “push ‘em together f’me—ahh shit, y-yeah just like that—oh shit baby, keep lookin at me like that—“ he growled under his breath, fucking your tits with hard pistons from his hips.

“gonna cum, gonna cum on these cute fuckin’ tits baby,” he groaned, throwing his head back while you egged him on, whimpering and squeezing your thighs together at how he used your chest to cum, it was so hot seeing him fall apart on top of you, looking glorious and gorgeous even in such dirty circumstances.

you wrapped your lips around his leaking cockhead, the corners of your mouth peeking upwards with smugness at the way he gasped and shivered at your actions. “shit,” he groaned, his own orgasm taking over his body.

he came in your mouth, your tits still engulfing his shaft. he twitched on your tongue, whimpering to himself at the way you sucked on his tip. he pulled himself away from your plump lips, starting to soften from how sensitive he was.

he laid beside you, pulling you into his arms once more, feeling content and right with the world when you nestled into your rightful place on his chest.

“still in awe over you.” he murmured, running his fingertips up and down your arm. “you’ll get used to the tattoo soon,” you giggled and he shook his head. “meant you…you as a whole baby.” he whispered and you looked up at him, pupils dilating into hearts. “joel,” you uttered, leaning up to kiss him. “i love you,” you mumbled sleepily. he smiled, kissing your clammy forehead. “i love you too baby.”

#joel miller x reader #the last of us smut #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #game joel miller #the last of us hbo #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal joel miller #pedro pascal #ellie williams tlou

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guacala · 2 years ago

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Hey if it's ok maybe a fluff pre!outbreak joel/pedro x reader? I got rejected after an interview for work and I feel so down and was wondering how joel/pedro would comfort the reader, thank you so much! 😊

if it's meant to be it will be, pedro pascal

masterlist pairing: pedro pascal x reader summary: pedro comforts you when you feel down after another rejection word count: 508 warnings: super fluffy, a bit angsty a/n: hiii, i'm so sorry about your interview,and i really hope that you find a job and that you feel better soon <3

you and Pedro are so in tune with each other that the second that he walks through the door, he instantly realizes that something is wrong. he sees the mess that you left behind when you came in, and being ever the protective husband, Pedro immediately starts looking for you to make sure that you're okay.

he goes up the stairs two steps at a time, and when he finally reaches your shared bedroom he's met with the sight of you under a pile of blankets and pillows, completely passed out.

he lets out a breath that he didn't even know that he was holding and slowly walks over to sit on the bed as you begin to wake up.

“hi,” you say simply, sitting up and rubbing your eyes, forcing yourself to give him your full attention.

“hi my love,” he says while pressing a light kiss on your forehead and pulling you closer to him. “how was your day?”

you let out a small sigh as your head fell onto his shoulder. “not good. i’m just so tired of being rejected,” you say into his shoulder as he wraps his arm around you. you were talking about the job interview that you had gone to earlier in the day. you loved what you did, and when the company you previously worked for shut down, you reluctantly had to start looking for a new job. it wasn’t going well and you were starting to question what you had done wrong to make them not choose you, which you know isn't healthy, but that doesn’t stop you from doubting yourself.

“it’s okay mi vida, you’ve been stressing yourself out too much,” he takes your face in his hands forcing you to look at his brown eyes as he continues to talk. “if it’s meant to be, it will be. take this as a sign to slow down and take a breath.”

you nod as he brings you onto his lap and you wrap your legs around his waist. “i’m just so overwhelmed right now,” you say and you can feel your voice crack and a tear roll onto your cheek.

“no, don't cry my love,” he says softly, brushing a tear away. “there’s nothing to worry about. what do you need from me right now? how can i help you?”

“just stay here with me,” you say, burying your face in his neck once again. he pulls you tighter into his chest and leaves a trail of soft kisses along your hairline.

you feel him bring his mouth to your ear as if he was telling you a secret. “i brought McDonald’s,” he says.

you immediately pull away and your excited expression made him laugh. “with extra fries?” you question, and when he nods a smile finally makes its way onto your face. still clinging onto him like a monkey as he gets up, you let yourself melt further into him. he always knew exactly what you needed and that is more than you could ever ask for.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal imagine #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #the last of us #anon request

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navalcriminalimagines · 3 years ago

Text

Every part of you

Request: Something just fluffy and domestic would be so nice...missing that old man. Maybe something like baking with him? Fluffy smut or just fluff, I would be really happy to see you write either. 💕

Warnings: Smut, blowjob, p in v, unprotected sex, kitchen sex

Words count: 2,4k

Joel Miller x Reader. Insecure Joel. No virus, no apocalypse. Divorced!Joel.

* * * * *

After his divorce with Sarah’s mother, Joel entered years of celibacy, except for the occasional hookups. He didn’t want to go down that road again, his marriage wasn’t the best one but he loved his wife and expected it to last forever, like they promised each other.

But things changed when he met you over a year ago.

It was one of those nights where his brother Tommy dragged him to a bar. You were there with some friends and the first thing he noticed about you was your smoking hot body. And before he knew it, Tommy brought you to their table to have a drink with them.

It was supposed to be one of those hookups. No strings attached. In the morning, he would’ve left and you probably wouldn’t have never met again.

But he broke rule number one on the first night anyway: never take someone home. He always found a way to go to his partner's place, or at least, found a place to do it, but never at his place. His home.

Until you.

Once you were done, he realized how young and innocent you looked. He could see the struggle on your face, as to whether you should leave or stay. He felt bad about himself and told you to stay. You warmly smiled and faxed yourself under the covers, your warm form curled up against him.

In the morning, he woke up to the smell of coffee and French toast. As you had breakfast together, you told him a bit about yourself and Joel found himself to be interested.

You left your phone number and two weekends later - he spends every two weekends with his daughter - Joel invited you for a drink. Which turned into a few ones. Which turned into taking you home again.

That was over a year ago. Now, you’re moving in with him.

He didn’t expect for it to happen. It’s just that when you mentioned wanting to move out from your crappy apartment, he simply told you to come live with him and Sarah. His teenage daughter is very fond of you, and Joel is deeply in love with you. There’s no reason this could go wrong, is there?

But somehow, it caused your first fight.

It was hard to fit two homes into one, and Joel wasn’t compromising at all. He didn’t want to get rid of anything.

“You have to meet halfway, Jo.” You told him, clearly annoyed.

“I am. I just don’t want to get rid of my couch. What’s wrong with that?”

“Well, for starters, mine is fairly new, bigger and way more comfortable. But it’s not just about the couch. It feels like you don’t want me to move in after all,” you said with such sadness in your voice, Joel felt horrible.

“I asked, didn't I?” He answered, defensively.

“Probably because you felt bad about my struggle to find a new place. Just like you felt bad after our first night together.”

“…What?”

“I’m not stupid, Joel. I know you didn’t want me to stay at first.”

“But you did.”

“Well, yeah. Because it was my first time hooking up with someone I just met. And—“ you took a deep breath. “I really don’t want to compliment you right now, but the sex was—mind blowing.”

You obviously were still pretty mad but Joel couldn’t help but smirk in his beard. Sex with you is indeed pretty mind blowing. There’s love, trust, passion, and you’re open-minded concerning his kinks. He never witnessed that before. Actually, he discovered new kinks with you, pretty much like if you were his very own kink.

“Take that smirk off your face. That’s unfair.” You breathed out.

Joel closed the distance between your bodies, and gently kissed your forehead. “Letting you stay that night was the best decision I’ve made in a very long time,” he kissed your nose. “I’ll get rid of the couch.” Then he kissed your lips and moved to your neck. “Let’s ruin it before.”

You chuckled and you did ruin his old couch.

A few weeks later, you were all moved in. Joel was exhausted, he fell asleep on your - extremely - comfortable couch. You covered him with a blanket and took care of the last details before cooking dinner.

Your parents had been owners of a restaurant for the past thirty years, your father being the chef and your mother doing pretty much the rest. You spent most of your time in the establishment as a child, and your father happily shared his know-how with you.

In the past year, Joel had barely spent time in the kitchen, as it became your space. Not that he minded.

He does mind the weight he’d been gaining though.

He woke up to the smell of one of your dishes, two hours after falling asleep. He could hear you doing your thing in the kitchen. He smiled, stretched himself and when his mind seemed awake enough, he joined you.

You felt his strong arms wrapping your middle, and took advantage of your messy bun to plant wet and sloppy kisses in your exposed neck. You felt shivers all the way through your body. “Hi handsome. Sleep well on the couch?”

“Bite me.” He growled against your skin and you chuckled.

“Did that last night.” You said, referring to the bite mark you left right on top of his shoulder. He had made you cum so hard, you didn’t control yourself.

“I love when you mark me.” He whispered in your ear, nipping your ear lobe.

“Good, I’m taking you for a scarification tomorrow. My name, right above your penis.”

“Hmm,” Joel was still planting kisses anywhere he could and you could feel his growing erection against your ass. It was getting really difficult to focus on the marinade in front of you. “I can meet you halfway and agree to get a tattoo.” You laughed but somehow imagined it. It would ruin any relationship for him if you two ever break up. “Only if you do the same, obviously.” He added.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

He hummed in answer and you felt his hand playing with the waistband of your sweatpants. But you slapped his hand away before he could slide it in. “Put your hands to other use for now. Cut the onions for me,” you playfully rubbed your ass against his crotch but only to push him away.

Joel let go of you and looked around to find the onions. “Wow. I like punishment but only if I know what I did wrong.”

You laughed before throwing two onions at him, which he almost missed. As he began to peel them off, you gently grabbed the knife from his hands and squeezed a lemon on the blade. Joel looked at you, lovingly. “There. You won’t cry.” You said, handing him the knife.

“Huh, we’ve been dating for a year and you’re only telling this trick, now? I thought you loved me.” He used his best complaining voice, and he felt your hand slamming against his ass.

“What will we talk about in ten years if I tell you everything now?” You casually asked and it caught Joel off guard. He stayed silent while cutting the onions in small squares and you didn’t push it. You focused on your marinade and checked on the steamed vegetables.

“Are you picturing us still together in ten years?” He finally asked once he was done. He gave you the bowl with the onions in it.

“Well—yeah. Don’t you?” You took the bowl from his hand, preparing the pan in order to cook them.

Joel sighed. It had been a struggle since you two started to date. Your relationship had been so perfect, you had been an amazing partner, it almost feels surreal to me. “I guess my marriage broke a part of me.” He paused, staring at you cooking. “It’s like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

As you ditched the onions in a hot pan, a soft smile appeared across your face. “That will happen when your alien friends will come to pick you up, in order to bring you back to your home planet.”

Joel couldn’t help but laugh. He couldn’t believe you were real. He stared for a moment. You are so beautiful, young, funny and smart, with the biggest heart. How did he got so lucky?

He jumped on the part of the kitchen plan you weren’t using. “Or when I got so fat from your cooking, you’re not attracted to me anymore.” He finally said and you stopped everything you were doing.

“…what?”

“I gained a few pounds lately.” He confessed, avoiding your eyes this time.

“Yeah so?”

“Oh so you’re agreeing? Not even something like ‘honey that’s crazy, you haven’t changed a bit.’?”

"I'm sorry. Let me do this again.” You took a step back and got into character. “Joel! Are you crazy? You didn’t gain any pounds. Are those masculine magazines making you feel bad, again?”

“Wow. Don’t quit your day job to become an actress.”

You playfully punched his shoulder and he let out an “ouch!”. “But seriously love,” it was your loving and smoothing tone again. “Do you really feel bad about this?”

“Kinda. I’m already older than you, I can’t have that too.”

“Baby,” you settled between his legs and tiptoed to kiss him softly. “You’re perfect to me. I don’t care about your age, your weight, your height, the size of your—okay that, I do care but still.”

Never a woman made him laugh like you manage to. No matter the subject, the time of the day, his mood or your mood, you’re always able to bring a smile to his face. He’s so in love with you. “Do you get my point or do I have to take you upstairs to show it to you?” You stroked his beard and Joel leaned into your touch, humming in content.

“I won’t mind the show. But I’d rather have you showing me—here.”

“I better stop cooking and focus on my other hobby then.” You turned off everything and invited him to get down. “My favorite actually.” You whispered, before kissing him gently.

“Please do.” He pleaded, sticking out his tongue in order to meet yours.

As you kissed, you brought him against the wall of the kitchen. He moaned at your sudden dominance, and you felt his semi hard cock against your belly. Joel tried to travel under your tank top with his hands but you prevented him access. You quickly worked taking his tee-shirt off, throwing it on the floor. Your lips immediately crashed against his hairy chest, while your hands were softly caressing it. “I love you, Joel.” you whispered against his skin. “I love every part of you that you don’t.”

It was overwhelming. Never in his life has Joel felt this loved, this attractive. It was such a mix of feelings, he could have cried on the spot as well as fucked you senseless. But he only stood there, panting hard as you were taking his sweatpants and briefs off. He stepped out and you threw it away, next to his shirt. He was dying to undress you, to feel your smooth skin against his, but he knew better.

You kneeled in front of you, taking his hard member in your hand. You looked up to him with your big and loving E/C eyes. “You’re everything I’ve ever dreamt of,” you said. “Call me crazy but I’d follow you to your damn home planet.” you confess, referring to what you said a moment ago.

Joel intensely stared at your mouth when you gave him a first lick. This view was so damn perfect.

You teasingly played with your tongue against his cock before taking him in your mouth. Joel moaned, deeply and you sucked him for a moment, not taking all of his length yet. Your jaw needed to relax first. No matter the amount of time you’ve seen his cock, you’re always amazed about how thick and long he is.

Joel’s hand grabbed your hair bun into his fists, guiding you. When you were ready, you took all of him inside your mouth, your nose buried in his pubic hair. “Fuck, baby!” he growled as his cock hit the back of your throat. “God I love your mouth so much.”

You kept going for a moment until you felt his urge growing. Joel was basically facefucking you, thrusting his cock deep inside your mouth. But you weren’t done with him yet, so when only a trail of saliva was connecting you to his length, you took advantage and got back on your feet.

You passionately kissed him, allowing him to taste himself. “Sit on the chair.” You ordered him and Joel obeyed.

You striped in front of him as he was lazily stroking his painfully hard cock. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Y/N.” he said before you straddle his lap.

“So are you, Joel.” He almost didn’t catch that - maybe because a part of him didn’t want to - as you guided his cock into your wet cunt. He was stretching you open, it almost hurt but you kept going until he was fully inside you.

“So fucking tight.” he growled against your neck.

You settled for a slow pace at first. Joel’s face was buried in your chest, assaulting your rounded breasts. One of his hands was in the small of your back, following your hips movements. “You feel so good inside me.” you moaned, your hands buried in his hair. He was so deep inside you, you two almost could hear every time he reached your end. “I’ll never be able to be with anyone else but you.”

His urge was coming back and yours was building up. You quickened the pace, and Joel furiously rubbed your clit with his hand. “Yes Joel, right there!” he looked up at you and crashed his lips on yours. You could feel his fingers digging on your hip, while yours did the same on his scalp.

“I’m gonna cum.” he warned you, thrusting as fast as he could.

“Me, too. Don’t stop,”

“Never.”

It was a closed call but you came practically at the same time, both crying each other’s name.

You stayed in the same position as you and Joel came down from your high. You held him close against you, feeling his cock softening inside you. You were both panting. “Every part of me, huh?” he said.

“Every single one.”

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us part 2

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ipuckwithhockey · 4 years ago

Text

Just Ask- N. Patrick

a/n: More Nolan stuff? Yup. I should preface this with the fact that we should all be considerate of all hockeys and their personal lives. They have lives that do not include us and we should respect that. This includes their online accounts whether they are private or public. I say that because this does slightly touch on Nolan’s music taste/interest in music, but there’s nothing specific. Also, lets remember that this is all fiction! We’re just here to have some fun. Anyway, this is a short one, nothing too crazy. Let me know what y’all think!

warnings: drinking, swearing

------

Meeting the Flyers was a byproduct of your friendship with Carly. The two of you have been friends for ages and she introduced you to the boys early into her relationship with Travis. You were able to avoid being the consistent third wheel by finding a comfortable place within Travis’ group of friends. Although Carly and Travis have insisted that they try to set you up with someone on the team, you continually refused, saying that it would be awkward if it didn’t work out. Not to mention the fact that you didn’t think any of the guys were interested.

The lovesick couple bothered you about it for ages, trying to push Beezer and Frosty on you, and then saying that you and Nolan would be “so cute” together. Joel and Morgan were great, you loved them both dearly, but there was no way you were dating either one of them. They were more compatible with each other than with you.

However, the last one you didn’t disagree with. You agreed, and thought that you and Nolan would make an exceptionally cute couple. It takes two to tango though, and Nolan definitely isn’t interested. Nolan has always been friendly and your personalities mesh well enough that you would consider him a good friend. The two of you even hang out by yourselves when TK and Carly cancel on you to do god knows what. You’ll grab food or watch a movie, but he has never made any inclination that he feels anything more than platonic towards you.

Nolan is shy, and dry, yet incredibly funny. He’s blunt and has a few sharp edges to him, but he’s not the fiery time bomb that TK resembles. He’s more reserved, laid back, and you can feel at ease with him because of it. You loved Travis to bits, and he was the perfect match for Carly’s outgoing personality, but you can only handle so much of him.

Take right now for example. You’re standing in the kitchen of a post-win house party, and Travis is incessantly nagging you to go talk to Nolan. The house you’re in is full to the brim with people you’re sure they don’t know and you and Travis are in the kitchen fixing yourselves another round of drinks. From where you’re standing you can see Nolan in the family room towering over a few doe eyed girls who hang on his every word. They are fixated on him, and you think that he could tell them to get on their knees right then and there and they would do it gladly. (You’re not sure you would say no either, so no judgement there.)

You’ve seen him take girls home from parties and bars, and he’s seen you with your fair share of conquests as well. It doesn’t bother you, and you figure it doesn’t bother Nolan either. Would you mind being the girl he took home? No, not at all, but unfortunately that was a role you would probably never be cast in. Even if you were you wouldn’t want to be one of those other girls anyway. You wanted to be the girl. You wanted to be the girl who made him forget about all the girls before you.

Your silent pining was becoming a little sad, and as much as you hated it, you couldn’t do anything to change how you felt about him. When you first met Nolan, you figured your little crush would soon dissipate, but the opposite ended up occurring. Now you were the sad, lonely, pining girl. You hated being her, but you couldn’t help it. You were totally gone for him.

“Come on, he’s not even listening to whatever those girls are saying to him. And you know he’s been checking you out since you got here.” Travis lays it out simply for you but you’re quick to refute, “Trav, he’s only looking over here because you haven’t stopped staring at him all night. If any two people at this party are into each other it’s you and Nolan, not me and Nolan.”

“What are you guys getting so heated about over here? And why do you keep looking at Nolan like that, Trav?” Carly comes over to tuck herself into Travis’ side as he puts his arm around her. You make a face at Travis as to say, “I told you.”

“He won’t leave me alone about Nolan, thinks I should go over there and interrupt the fan club.” You motion in the direction of where Nolan is still standing in front of his little doe eyed fans.

Carly’s eyes light up, “Oh, he totally checked you out earlier! You should go over there. Scare all those little girls away. They never had a chance anyway,” she explains matter-of-factly.

“Carly! You’re supposed to me on my side, remember?” You look between your friend and her boyfriend, who’s grin is getting bigger and bigger as spreads across his face.

“Look, you can deny it for as long as you like, but he’s totally into you, and you’re totally into him. Travis and I both know it.” Carly and Travis look so satisfied with themselves, that they think they’ve played matchmaker between the two of you, but you’re still not convinced.

“Ok, give me 5 reasons you think he could possibly like me, or that we are somehow compatible, and then maybe I’ll go over there.” You motion back in Nolan’s direction.

Travis is quick to the pitch, “You’re both oddly quiet. Like it kind of freaks me out when I come into the room and it’s just the two of you sitting there on the couch, and you’re not even talking! Sometimes the TV isn’t even on. It’s just silent. Like who even does that?”

This elicits an eye roll from you as you remember the many times Travis has walked in on you and Nolan sitting in a quiet room together, neither of you feeling the need to constantly fill the air with pointless conversation. Travis has never understood it.

“What about how Nolan always gets you drinks when we’re out?” Carly chimes in. “He doesn’t do that for everyone. Hell, I don’t think he’s ever asked me if I needed another when he’s headed up to the bar.”

You’ve never noticed that he doesn’t ask anyone else when he goes up to the bar. Thinking about it now, it does seem kind of odd. But the two of you will often find yourselves next to each other while you’re stuffed inside a packed bar on any given weekend, and you figure he’s just being nice since you’re usually one of the only single ones there.

“That’s only two, and your reasoning is horrible. He’s just being nice and being introverted is not a crime.” You lean back onto the counter behind you as you cross your arms in front of your chest. Now you’re facing toward the open room where one of the girls has inched her way closer to Nolan.

“He’s been a lot more excited to go out lately. He always asks if you’re coming. The last time we all went out I gave him a hard time about it. I don’t think his face has ever been that red.” Travis explains. “That’s another one! Whenever you show up or you do that thing that girls do when they’re flirting, you know the one where they touch a guy’s arm when they’re talking, he gets so red. Like tomato red.” Travis isn’t very eloquent in delivery, but you understand what he’s saying. “That’s four, baby.” He reminds you.

“He gets red when anyone talks to him and whenever anyone is brave enough to touch him. And I do not do that flirting thing.” You look to Carly for reassurance, “Do I?” you ask. She doesn’t offer the reassurance you were looking for, instead stating, “Oh, you totally do that. Sorry, you’re just not that subtle.”

“Oh my god.” You let your head hang back as you look up to the ceiling, “He probably thinks I’m an idiot or just creepy.” You really didn’t think you were that obvious, but clearly you were wrong. He probably feels bad for you because he knows you’re totally into him. “Well, if that wasn’t enough to deter me from ever speaking to him again, that’s still only four, so I think I’m going to call it a night and head home and then never show my face near Nolan again.” You try to exit the kitchen with the last bit of dignity you have left but Travis is quick to jump in front of you.

“Nope. I have a fifth one.” He’s standing there with is hands on his hips and you’re sure he thinks it makes him look more commanding. You just roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time tonight.

“Really? You think it’s good enough to get me over there?” You quip back at him as you nod back towards Nolan.

“Oh yeah.” He nods back, “And if it makes you feel better Nolan is super obvious too. Like I said, tomato red.”

“So, are you going to tell me the fifth reason or are you just going to keep me hostage here all night?” Now you’re mimicking his stance with your hands placed firmly on your hips.

“It pains me to admit this one because he doesn’t even let me do this,” Travis sighs. “He lets you have the aux every time you’re in his car. No questions asked, he just lets you play whatever you want. Doesn’t even complain about it!”

You’re processing what Travis is saying. Nolan did always let you choose the music in the car, but you didn’t think anything of it. You probably grabbed the aux without hesitation the first time you hopped in his car. That’s just what you always did with your friends. It never dawned on you that he might not let other people do that too.

It checks out though, Nolan loves his music. It’s important to him, and his perfectly curated playlists are like little works of art for him. You’ve watched him manicure his playlists for hours as he sits on the couch, and admittedly you have similar taste in music. Maybe that’s why he didn’t care? Maybe you just always chose songs that he would have also picked? Although there was that one week where you made him listen to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat. He probably wouldn’t have picked that one…

You don’t have time to decide on why you think Nolan would ever let you get away with something he holds so sacred because he has since left his group of girls and has found his way into the kitchen where you’re still squared off with Travis.

“You guys gonna pull your pistols out soon?” Nolan mumbles an announcement that he has entered the room, and you realize that you’re still stood in front of TK, both of you with your hands on your hips.

“Nope, we were actually just heading out to play pong, we’ll see you guys later!” Travis quickly ushers himself and Carly out of the room, and before you can protest, you’re left alone with Nolan. He’s leaning against the counter opposite to you, and when you move your eyes to rest on his figure you can’t help but do a quick intake of just how good he looks. He’s wearing the same basic outfit that just about every other guy in the house is sporting, and yet it looks so much better on him.

“What was that about? You guys okay?” Nolan asks.

“Uh- Yeah, Trav just being Trav, you know?” You attempt to brush off the topic of what you and Travis were discussing prior to Nolan’s arrival. Similar to those times that Travis was referencing, neither of you feel compelled to fill the air with unneeded dialogue, and you fall into a comfortable silence. Neither of you are saying anything now and Nolan takes the time to twist off the cap to another beer from the fridge.

“I was gonna go out back. It’s too hot in here, wanna come?” Nolan nods his head to the sliding glass door at the other end of the kitchen, and you respond by following him out to the deck. The quietness and crisp winter air that fills your lungs is refreshing. The two of you lean against the railing of the deck and enjoy the break from the chaos inside. You continue in your silence and you can’t help but watch as Nolan takes long drags of his beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

“Can I ask you a question?” You ask, and without speaking he nods, giving you the go ahead.

“Why don’t you let Travis have the aux?”

Nolan chuckles a bit, “Of all the things you could ask, that’s what you choose?” he retorts before answering, “If you must know, he has horrible taste in music. But also, I don’t let anyone have the aux. My car, my music. It’s the rules,” he states, taking another quick swig of his beer that’s almost empty now.

He confirmed what Travis had said to you, but you’re not convinced. There had to be a catch. He probably never realized that you did it. You’re sure of it.

“But you let me have the aux?” You form the sentence with a question mark on the end, and your eyes follow Nolan as he leans over the railing to look out into the backyard. He’s avoiding meeting your eye, and you can tell he’s thinking, deciding on what he’s about to say.

“Probably ‘cus I can’t say no to you,” the muttered words come out under his breath, like he doesn’t want you to hear it.

“What? What does that mean?” He lets out a huff of air as his hands push is his long hair back out of his face, something he only does when he’s stressed.

His body turns to face you now, “You could literally tell me to jump off a bridge or run through this house naked, and I would probably do it. No questions asked.”

The quizzical look that occupies your face prompts him to continue. He’s frustrated, you can tell, “I just don’t know how to say this without fucking us up as friends…” He starts to pivot away from you again, but you reach out for his arm, stopping him from leaving, “What if I don’t want to be friends?” You’ve chosen to be the bold one now, and if it bit you the ass you were just going to have to live with that, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve both been on the same page all along.

“You don’t want to be friends with me?” Hurt. Confusion. Annoyance. They all flash across Nolan’s face before you can interject again, “I don’t want to be just friends with you. I want to be more than that. I want to be the girl you take home when this party is over, and the girl who gets to wake up next to you every morning after, and even if you don’t want that, you need to know that’s how I feel about yo—“

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’tt pull you into a heart wrenching kiss, there aren’t fireworks playing behind you. To your surprise, Nolan has chosen to haul you over his shoulder, your arms falling over his back as he walks swiftly back into the house.

“NOLAN! What the fuck!? Put me down!” You yell at him as he continues to carry through the house. The party is so wild by now that you’re sure no one even notices the 6’2 hockey player with a girl over his shoulder.

“Nolan! Seriously. Put me down!” You’re feel like a little toddler who has gotten herself in trouble, and when Nolan finally does place your feet back on the ground, you’re outside next to his car that is parked in front of the house. He sets you down, and you’re slightly dizzy from being swung around like a rag doll, but he steadies you in front of him with his hands on your waist.

“What the fuck was tha—”

He cuts you off again, but this time he isn’t hauling your body into the air. This time his hands are on either side of your face and his lips find yours and there are even metaphorical fireworks going off as you kiss him back. You stand there, pushed against the side of his car, with his hands tangled in your hair, and your tongues exploring each other mouths. When you finally come up for air he pushes back away from you so that he can meet your eye.

“If you wanted to be that girl all you had to do was ask.” A smirk is plastered across his face, and you lightly shove at his chest even though it does little to move his large figure.

You surrender, “Okay, but we have to get an Uber, we’ve both had too much to drive.” You can’t help but grin back at him as he reaches for his phone to order a car for the both of you. When the car arrives, you get in to head back to Nolan’s apartment with your hands wrapped together. “I can’t believe Travis was right,” you say as you let your head rest on Nolan’s shoulder and he turns his head to you with his eyebrow furrowed, “Right about what?”

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #hockey fanfic #hockey fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #hockey writing #philadelphia flyers #nhl #hockey #travis konecny

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winterscaptain · 4 years ago

Text

misdirected.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: alright! The moment yall have been waiting for (other than that last moment you were all waiting for!) we have jack’s quick rebellion! Yay! this takes place in au!march 2012.

words: 1.35k warnings: language, a touch of angst and then its cute

summary: any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. - arnold bennett

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

“C’mon kiddo, time for bed.”

Jack, still frustrated from his dad’s confiscation of the Wii hours earlier, promptly and simply responds, “No.”

“Jack…”

“I want to keep building.”

You step farther into his room and kneel beside him. “Can we build some more in the morning? Maybe together?”

He shakes his head. “I want to build now. By myself."

You know Aaron is in the other room. You know you should go get him. There’s part of you stubbornly reliant on your closeness with Jack, so you try again. “Jack, babe, it’s past eight, we needed to start getting ready about fifteen minutes ago.”

When you reach out to touch his shoulder, he flinches. You draw your hand back as if burned and search for his eyes. “You alright, bud?”

“Go away.”

Tears spring into your eyes, but you keep them back with a deep breath. “Is there something I can do for you before I go?”

“I want my dad.”

“Okay.” Taking the loss, you stand and pad down the hallway, trying to smooth out your breath along the way.

He’s never been like that.

He’s never talked to me like that.

Aaron instantly picks up on your anguish when you close the bedroom door behind you, closing the case file in his lap. “What’s wrong?”

You open your mouth to speak, but are overcome before anything can come out.

He, of course, fears the worst at your silence, jumping out of bed. “Is Jack alright, where is -”

“He’s fine. He’s fine.” You stop him with two hands flat on his chest, and he immediately picks them up, kissing your fingers.

“Baby, what’s wrong. You’re scaring me a little.”

You shake your head. “Jack’s just - he…” You take another breath. “He just snapped at me and -” You falter, feeling a little silly for being so affected by a six-year-old’s misdirected frustration.

Aaron pulls you to his chest and you bring your hands under his arms and around his shoulders, winding your fingers in his shirt. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry. What happened?”

“I told him,” you say around little hiccups, “I told him it was time for bed, like I usually do, and he just...said no and told me to go away and get you.” Your grip on his shirt loosens a little as he pulls back, wiping your tears with his thumb. “It seems so small, I almost feel stupid -”

“No. Don’t feel stupid. I’ll go talk to him.”

You nod, accepting the kiss pressed to your cheek.

He leaves the door open behind him, and you go to the bathroom to wash your face and get ready for bed yourself, even though it's two hours earlier than normal - you’re exhausted. Aaron’s voice murmurs down the hall, with some interjections by Jack here and there. Two pairs of feet travel to the hall bath before Aaron trots in to grab his toothbrush with another quick kiss to your temple.

You listen as they brush their teeth together in the hall and return to Jack’s room. After a long time sitting on the edge of the bathtub, you slip into bed and close your eyes.

Sleep doesn’t come.

Aaron returns and flips the light switch, bathing the room in a blue-tinted darkness. You’ve calmed down significantly since he left, but you’d be lying if you said you felt any better.

He tucks up behind you, flush to your back from back to calf, and wraps an arm around you. “Hi.”

You hum a little by way of greeting.

“Jack and I are gonna have a little day tomorrow, just us. I think the transition is a lot for him and having you here with us isn’t as easy as he expected.”

You nod. “That’s fine.”

He presses a kiss to the back of your neck. “I’m sorry he lashed out at you today, honey. He loves you so much.”

“I know.” You sniff. “He’s just little and he lost his mom and it’s a lot after just having you and Jess around for so long and you were just gone for a long time and...”

“Yeah,” Aaron says, nearly at a whisper. “The changes probably snuck up on him and I was a little hard on him this afternoon - his attitude, while badly-placed, isn’t a mystery.”

“Right.”

His lips travel in sweet kisses from behind your ear to your shoulder. “I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Your lower lip shakes as a fresh set of tears fall into your pillow. “I know. I love you too.”

Neither one of you sleep very well.

+++

Jack’s still standoffish in the morning, but you let it roll off you as best you can. Aaron has a whole day planned - a Saturday, just for the boys - and has been a little conservative with the affection in front of Jack.

Maybe cooling it off is a good idea...

You’re not sure what you’ll do today.

The office, maybe?

Today is full of maybes.

Aaron offers you a soft smile as he pulls the front door closed behind him.

+++

You do end up going into the office for a couple of hours, clearing your emails, and getting ahead on consults. You slip any relevant paperwork under Aaron’s door and head home, tapping your fingers restlessly on the steering wheel.

At this point, Aaron and Jack should be home by now, just like you’d planned. The last thing you wanted to do was wait around for them all day, but you missed them.

You only hoped Jack missed you, too.

When you step into the house, you find Aaron at the table working on his computer.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

You smile at him, hanging your coat. “Hey, love. I went to the office for a little while to catch up on some stuff.”

“You’re ahead at work.”

You wave him off. He’s right, but there was always something to do. “How long have you two been home?”

He checks his watch. “Just over a half-hour, so not too long.”

There’s an unspoken question and Aaron tilts his head toward the hall. “He’s in his room. He wants to talk to you.”

With a breath, you cross the room and pad down the hallway, knocking twice on Jack’s door frame. He’s playing with the same LEGOs he had last night, but they’re significantly farther along in construction. “Hey, bud.”

“Hi.”

“Can I come sit with you? Your dad told me you wanted to talk.”

He nods and clears space for you on the floor. You sit cross-legged beside him, waiting him out.

He assembles LEGOs for a little while, quiet. When he reaches a decent stopping point, he turns toward you.

Listen. Count to ten.

Listen.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t nice yesterday,” he says, quiet. “I was mad about the Wii and I missed my mom and I got really frustrated.”

I miss her too, bud.

Taking the chance that he’s finished after a moment of silence, you reach a hand out. He puts his little hand in yours and you offer him a small smile. “Thank you for your apology, Jack. I really appreciate it, and I forgive you. I’m sorry if I overstepped or if you felt like I was bossing you around. I didn’t mean to do that.”

He shakes his head. “You weren’t.”

“Good.” You sigh, looking up at one of the photos of Haley on his short bookshelf. “And buddy, I’m not here to replace your mom. I’m here because I love you and I love your dad, and that always comes first to me, okay?”

He nods. “Yeah. That’s what Dad said.”

Of course he did.

“And,” you continue, “I totally understand if it’s a lot to have me around all the time. It’s really different and I know it can be weird sometimes.”

He nods. “Thanks.”

“Just tell me, okay?” You brush some hair off his forehead while he continues to work.

He needs a haircut.

“I will.”

You press a kiss to the side of his head. “Thank you, baby. I appreciate it.”

He smiles a little, and you take your leave.

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @arthurmorrgans @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @kerrswriting @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @baumarvel @kerrswriting @messyhairday-me

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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mondscheinprinzessin · 3 years ago

Note

from the 150 prompts, number 23 and joel/tommi (maybe tommi saying it 👉🏻👈🏻)

Love how I get so many Tommi prompts and still I feel like I write him completely wrong. Like who is this man?

23: “It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…”

Tommi was picking around in the vegetables, his hunger receded with a new wave of nausea. Joel next to him didn’t have the same problem as him and was digging into his salad, his eyes on the TV as he was following the plot of the movie.

Tommi meanwhile didn’t have a clue what was going on and he felt bad that he was wasting Joel’s time who came here specifically for him with a bag of food and yet Tommi couldn’t appreciate it.

“You sure you don’t need to be somewhere else?” He asked as casually as he could.

He didn’t want it to sound like he wanted Joel to leave, contrary, he would love for Joel to stay as long as he could, but simultaneously he felt guilty of preventing him from finishing his work he was so eager to start today as he had announced over voice message this morning when Tommi was already (more like still) laying in bed, his head pounding as if a herd of elephants had played in there.

Without taking his eyes away Joel said, “When my boyfriend feels sick, I won’t be staying in the studio forever, Niko can handle it, don’t worry.” He was mumbling from the food in his mouth, but Tommi could still understand him.

Nevertheless a bit of the guilt stayed. It was simply new to him. That someone was there for him. When he was ill or not feeling well, like today.

“It’s hard to get used to...” Tommi said therefore, biting on the inside of his lip.

That also was new, the feeling of insecurity when he was open about his feelings, communicating what was going on inside his head.

“What is?”

“Being someone that someone cares for...”

Now Joel averted his attention away from the movie towards him and put the fork down. “That’s not- many people care about you Tommi.” He said with a slight frown as if he was confused about what Tommi had just said, not following along.

But he couldn’t take it back and furthermore couldn’t erase his feelings. It was as it was. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything but there was this promise between them, that they would always be honest and right now Tommi was unable to hold anything in as he was feeling too miserable to control anything else in his mind.

“Sure? It always feels like I am the one making sure everyone is alright, and I can’t ask for anything in return.”

Perhaps it was unfair of him to accuse them and above all Joel like that, but sometimes it felt like Tommi was doing his best to keep everyone alive and well and when it came to him there was no one left who paid attention to him.

Putting his food aside Joel scooted closer so he could hug Tommi from the side. “But how are we supposed to know if you don’t say anything? We are there for you just like you are there for us. That’s the thing in our group. You just have to say it and we will be there. And I’m not saying that as your boyfriend, everyone of your friends would be willing to help.”

“Sorry, I think whatever illness I have is eating away my braincells.” Tommi recoiled and attempted to get out of Joel’s hug.

“Hey, no.” Joel said and tightened his arms around him although if Tommi wanted he could easily get up and not care that he was dragging Joel with him, but he stayed where he was. “It’s good that you said it. I promise we will do better. But you have to promise to be honest with us if you’re not doing well. Like today. I swear I want to help you any time I can and that applies to everyone. Okay?”

Tommi nodded in reply even though he was now slightly ashamed about his complaint. He really must have lost some brain cells as he was usually not as bothered or winy, but at least he got this out of the way.

Even for him there was still a lot to learn and he wouldn’t have thought to get it from Joel out of all people, but with him he felt safe enough to voice his problems although in the morning he would say he was too sick to remember their conversation, just to annoy his boyfriend a little bit.

#answered #prompt adventures #if you haven't said anything I would have totally given the line to Joel #so this was a bit difficult to work out #but I hope it's good

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tlou2holland · 4 years ago

Text

Joel x reader ( pt 9 )

summary: You and Joel prepare for the upcoming patrol

warnings: none

you can read the previous parts here

“I don´t think its a good idea to split up.“ Jesse shakes his head and you look at him out of the corner of your eye, him and Dina sitting next to you. Joel and Tommy sit across from you while Marie and Ellie each took a seat at the head of the table. “But the infected has been sighted here-“ Tommy points to the card in front of him and marks the place with a red pen. “in town and here.“ He connects the dots to show how far away from each other they are, and Maria sighs. “We have to get to them somehow, we can’t risk to let them any closer towards Jackson.“ She takes the map and slides it over the table towards her, looking at the route with a deep frown. “what if we build teams to secure our lookouts, and meet up somewhere in the middle after we’re done?“ Ellie looks around for any faces of approval, and you nod. “This could work, If anything goes wrong and one of us doesn’t show up to the meeting point, we know where they went missing and can take a look.“ “but some lookouts might be more overrun than others.“ Joel sighs and takes the card from Maria, trying to find a route that is somehow a little safe for everyone. “That could also happen on normal patrols, we can try to come from all sides and meet up here-“Dina leans up from her seat and points to the supermarket Joel and You cleaned a couple weeks ago. “This way each of us can cover a lookout and has roughly the same way to the meeting point.“ “and some lookouts were freshly cleaned this week, it shouldn’t be too much trouble.“ Tommy tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and looks at Joel. “What do you say?“ “I don´t like this, but it might work.“ Joel shrugs his shoulders and you nod, looking at him. “Let´s partner up then, who knows each lookout the best?“ You say, sinking deeper into your seat and waiting for someone to speak up. “You know your way around the radio tower?“ Jesse asks Ellie, pointing to the first dot on the map. She shakes her head, no. “I know this route, I used to do go with Eugene.“ Dina speaks up and Jesse briefly looks at her before approving. “Alright, you and Ellie take over the west side, after you’re done you can check the village and go to the supermarket.“ “Are you sure you know the way?“ Joel stares at Dina and you can tell he’s worried, while Ellie lets out an annoyed huff. “I do, don´t worry Joel.“ Dina smiles and Maria claps her hands, getting everyones attention. “Alright, Joel and Tommy will cover the east side, you know your way around the hotel and lodge, right?“ Maria looks at her husband and Tommy elbows Joel who has a frown on his face. “We got this.“ “Y/N and I will go through to the city and forrest.“ Jesse and you make eye contact and you smile at him, nodding despite the nervous feeling in your stomach. “I´ll send a troop to clean the areas close around Jackson so you guys don’t have to do everything alone.“ Maria circles the lookouts on the map and slides it back towards the middle for everyone to see. “Everyone´s okay with this?“ She asks, rubbing her temples with her fingers. “Do we have another choice?“ Joel chuckles and starts pushing his chair back, you getting up as well. “Okay we will wait for the weather to clear up and leave in one or two days.“ Jesse starts putting his jacket back on and Ellie gets up with a sigh. “fucking infected.“ She mumbles while Dina walks over to her, a small smile framing her face. “Everything will be okay.“ She says goodbye to everyone and you wait for Joel to finish chatting with Tommy before walking back home. “This whole partner patrolling doesn’t sit right with me.“ Joel mumbles under his breath and you link your arm through his while you leave Tommys neighborhood. “Why?“ You cuddle into his side to block out the cold and Joel sighs, looking at his boots. “Dina and Ellie and Jesse and you together? It would have been better to pair you guys with Tommy or me. We know our way around and have more-“ “Hey.“ You interrupt him, stopping your tracks and standing in front of Joel to make him look at you. “Jesse is very responsible and wouldn’t do anything that puts us into unnecessary danger. Ellie knows her way with guns and Dina is a cautious person. We will be fine.“ You shrug your shoulders and Joel tilts his head to the side, scanning your flushed face. “I worry too much, don’t I?“ He lowers his head and you giggle, continuing your way home. “Yeah, you need to stop or you’ll get wrinkles from all the frowning.“ “I already have wrinkles.“ Joel furrows his brows and you laugh. “That´s cause you’re old.“ You tease and Joel mocks your laugh. “Ha ha, very funny. You’ll look like that one day, too.“ He nudges your side and you put on a serious face, eyes looking into his hazel ones. “Hopefully, and when I grow old its your turn to make fun of me.“ “I´d like to see that.“ Joel opens the door to your home and you slip inside, instantly shrugging your snowy jacket off and hanging it onto your wardrobe. “You want some Tea?“ You ask as you walk into the kitchen. Joel grunts and you hear his heavy boots walking upstairs, probably to change. You put some water onto the stove and prepare the tea leafs. You wait for the liquid to boil and pour it into two mugs, giving Joel the one with the owl on it. You make sure to grab the handles tight and make your way upstairs, squinting back and forth from the mugs to the stairs in front of you. “Joel?“ You shout as you gently kick the door to your bedroom open with your foot, only to find it empty. “In here, baby.“ Joels voice comes from somewhere behind you so you turn around and check the bathroom, finding it empty as well. It’s not until you hear the itching of a blade against wood that you groan at your own stupidness and go into Joels crafting room. There he sits, knife in one and a piece of wood in the other hand. “What are you working on?“ You ask as you sit down next to him, placing the mug onto the work plate. “That´s a surprise.“ He smiles at you and you take a sip of your tea, cursing when you burn your tongue. “Am I allowed to see?“ You try to peak over Joels hands but he covers most of the wood with his palm. “Don´t spoil yourself, it’s not finished yet.“ “How long have you been working on it?“ You hug Joel from behind and he drops the wood, quickly covering it with a cloth. “Started last week.“ He leans back into your chest and you rest your chin on top of his head. “I didn´t notice.“ You kiss his hairline and he runs his hands over your arms, holding your shoulders tight. “That was the plan baby.“ He chuckles and you play with the fabric of his shirt. “But now I know about it.“ You tease and Joel rotates his chair so he’s facing you. You stand in-between his legs as he holds your hips, massaging the soft flesh. “Also planned. I know how impatient you can be.“ He smirks and you gasp, slowly sitting down on his lap. “That´s torture!“ You hold onto his neck for support and Joel bounces his knee, urging you to inch closer. “It will be worth it.“ He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck and starts placing kisses along your veins. “You´re getting my exceptions up.“ You say laughing while squirming away from his wet kisses. “Are you implying that its not enough that I made it? With love?“ He gives you puppy eyes and you push him away, standing up and grabbing your mug. “That´s always enough. I´m outside at the porch if you want to join.“ You turn around and Joel hums, turning his chair as well to continue his work. “I´ll come soon.“

You sit outside and inhale the cold winter air, legs crossed and arms leaned on the table as you continue to embroider a jacket you found some time ago. You hum a soft tune and are very cautious not to poke your thumb with the needle. Your tea is long finished and your body is getting more and more heavy when Joel joins you. “Evening madam.“ He lifts his imaginary hat and you look up, piercing the needle into your fingertip. “Ow!“ You drop the jacket and hold onto your thumb, glaring at Joel. “You scared me!“ You rub the irritated fingertip and Joel chuckles, sitting down across from you and picking up his guitar. “Sorry babe.“ He softly smiles at you and you put your stuff together, extending your arms. “Let me play, I’ve been practicing.“ “sure your thumb can take it?“ Joel teases and you roll your eyes, hiding a smile when he hands his precious guitar over to you. “If I continue to get better, I´m gonna need my own soon.“ You brag as you rest the painted wood on your lap. “convince me.“ Joel leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, eyes fixed on you. “I will.“ You bite your lip and look down, preparing to grab your chords when you already strum a side and a crooked sound escapes. “ups.“ You laugh nervously and wipe your sweaty hands on your jeans before trying again. “but I´m not singing.“ You briefly look at Joel and start playing the song he played you at your first evening together. “Not bad.“ Joel smiles proudly and you start bouncing your feet to the music, concentrating on pulling the right strings. “I´m still wobbly with this part, my fingers can´t spread that far.“ You frown and stop playing, but Joel stands up and simply stands behind you, grabbing your hands and placing his fingers over yours. “Let me help you.“ His hot breath tickles your ear and you watch as he presses your fingers back onto the neck of the guitar, changing the position for your index and ring finger. “Now try.“ He whispers and you strum the sides, beaming when it sounds right. “See, you can do it.“ He kisses your temple and you drop the guitar next to your chair, leaning to the right and quickly pulling Joel down to kiss you. “Thanks love.“ You mumble against his lips while he pushes his tongue past yours. His beard scratches against your cold face and you grab his cheeks, feeling the stubble itch in your palm. “Wanna go to bed?“ He pulls away and you nod, out of breath and with flushed cheeks. “I feel like an ice cube.“ You shiver as you get up and Joel laughs while grabbing his guitar, opening the door for you and stepping inside after you. “You know, once patrol is done, I have a little surprise for you.“ He cheekily kisses your neck and you squirm to the side, almost tripping on the steps. “Another one?“ You ask gasping. “I promised you a proper date, didn’t I?“ Joel pinches your sides and you grab his hands, pulling him up with you. “I thought you forgot.“ You happily look over your shoulder and Joel chuckles. “I didn´t. Just took me a while to find everything I need for it.“ He shrugs his shoulders and slips past you as he makes a line to the bathroom, you going into your bedroom to change. You lay in bed and wait for him, eyes wide open and staring at the small lamp in the corner. “Can I guess?“ You ask as soon as Joel returns and lays down next to you. He smells like soap and toothpaste and you instantly snuggle closer, head laying on his chest while your arm wraps around his torso. “No. I won´t budge.“ Joel closes his eyes and blindly switches the light off, trapping you in his arms afterwards. “Not even a little bit?“ You mindlessly play with Joels shirt and feel his chest rumble with laughter, before rising and sinking slowly again. “Go to sleep babe, you need to rest.“ He kisses your hairline and you huff, laying your hand flat on his stomach and finally closing your eyes. “You´re a tease.“ “You love me because of that, don’t deny it.“ Joel gently massages your back and you sigh. “Yeah I do.“

“Joel? Y/N?“ Loud banging on your door wakes you up and you groan, instantly covering your face with a pillow. “What time is it?“ You mumble sleepily as you roll over, not meeting any resistance. You frown and open your eyes, pillow slowly sliding down your face. “Joel?“ You reach out with your hand but it lands on an empty mattress, and you lean over his side to turn on the light. He´s nowhere to be seen, so you quickly get up and rub your eyes to get the sleep out of them. “I´m coming!“ You shout to the impatient visitor, its hamming against your door not slowing down. “One sec.“ You tiredly fumble with the lock and curse at the coldness on your naked feet. Now in front of you stands Tommy, fully dressed and with a rifle hanging over his shoulder. “Tommy?“ You ask confused, voice raspy from just waking up. The sun barely started to rise and the sky is still painted in darkish colors, making you wrap your arms around yourself. “Can I come in?“ Tommy cranes his neck to look past you and you nod, moving to make space for him. “Of course.“ You close the door after him and wrap your robes tighter around your body, feeling slightly exposed in your shorts and shirt. “Where´s Joel?“ Tommy asks as he rests his rifle on top of your dining table. You shrug your shoulders and open your mouth to say something, but another voice cuts you off. “I´m here.“ Joel comes walking down the steps, clothes covered in dust and wood splinters. “Maria is sending us out, the weather cleared up faster than expected. We´re meeting in one hour at the east gate.“ Tommy looks between you and Joel and an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach. “I thought we’d wait a couple days.“ You furrow your eyebrows and a deep wrinkle forms on your forehead. “Change of plans.“ Tommy shrugs and Joel sighs, a deep hum coming from his throat. “One hour?“ He asks. Tommy nods and moves to leave again, grabbing his rifle and scratching it over the waxed surface. “I got to go and tell the others.“ He leaves without another word and you stand on your spot, arms hanging from your sides and body too tired to move. “That´s a bummer.“ You mumble as you rub your temple, Joel skipping down the steps and walking over to you. “Let´s get this over with. When we come back you’ll get your surprise.“ Joel wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you into a hug, your own arms winding around his waist. “You finished?“ You mumble against his chest, inhaling the strong scent of soap and dusty wood. “That´s why I got up early.“ He clears his throat and you look up, the tiniest smile forming on your lips. “You didn’t have to do that.“ You kiss the skin within your reach and Joel laughs softly, slowly loosening his grip on you. “I know, but I wanted to.“ His hands skim down to your back and sides, quickly slipping under your clothes and brushing over the naked skin. You shiver and straighten your shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes. “You and Tommy will be fine, right?“ You ask, voice dripping with worry. “of course, always are.“ Joel leans down and kisses you softly, no tongues, just lips moving in sync with each other. “Don´t worry baby, or you’ll get me worried again.“ Joel jokes to lighten the mood and you chuckle, kissing him one last time before pulling away. “Sorry, I’ll stop.“ You giggle when he attacks your cheek and jaw with kisses and his stubble brings your skin to life. It prickles and burns slightly at the same time, a sensation you’ve grown to love. “Joel you’re distracting me.“ You weakly push your hands against his chest and he pulls away, a smirk on his tired face. “Good.“ He is about to dip down again when you turn your head and make his lips land on your neck, gasping when you feel his teeth gazing your flesh. “I´m serious.“ You say with a giggle, grasping onto his bicep for support as your knees become wobbly.

“We need to get ready.“ You breathe into his ear and Joel nods, teeth slowly sinking into the crook of your neck, surely leaving a mark. “I know.“ He calms the flesh with a kiss and pulls away, biting the inside of his cheek at your flushed expression. “You´re the death of me.“ You mumble with a weak smile and Joel retreats from you, slowly turning to walk into the kitchen and make breakfast. “If that is all.“ He winks and you shake your head laughing, walking up the stairs to get ready for the day. When you come down again, Joel is already sitting at the table and cuts some bread, mindlessly humming a tune you never heard him sing before. You creep up behind him and quickly kiss the back of his head before joining him on the table, giving your grumbling stomach the food he so desperately grumbles for. You barely get to clean your plates afterwards, when Joel places your backpack on the table with a heavy thud and calls out for you. “Y/N we have to go.“ He slides his own backpack on and you open the drain, letting the soapy water wash down and wiping your wet hands on a towel. “I´m coming!“ You quickly place Joels mug next to the sink to clean it later and join him in the dining room, grabbing your rifle and knife before putting on your jacket and backpack. “Can´t say I missed this.“ You groan as the strings sink into your shoulders, the weight of the weapons and your first aid kit heavy on your back. “You carrying stones in there or something?“ Joel asks with a half smile, handing you a pair of gloves you happily slide your hands into.“No, just the necessities.“ You step out of the comfort of your home and breathe in the cold ear, the munching of boots against snow ringing in your ears. “Alright.“ Joel sighs next to you, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers. You look at him in disbelief, as its something he’s never done out in public before, but he looks straight ahead and starts walking. “Don´t look so surprised.“ He says bluntly as you keep staring at your intertwined hands while walking. “I´m not suprised, just happy.“ You respond instantly, holding his hand tighter and walking so close to him that your shoulders occasionally brush. “When this is all over-“You start, waving your free hand in front of your face. “How about we go into a museum? Ellie told me you showed her one with dinosaurs and space. I´d like to see it too.“ You look to the side to read any emotion in Joels face. He briefly looks at you and nods. “Sure, I think you’ll like it there.“ “Did you go to museums often? Before the outbreak, I mean.“ You ask casually, enjoying the conversation more than silence. “Yeah, you can bet Sarah made me go into every damn museum in our country. She loved them.“ He smiles sadly and you nod, comprehending what he just said. “Did you enjoy them, too?“ You ask after some time. “Some more than others.“ He looks at you with a crooked smile and licks his lips, the cold drying them out. “I´m more the movie guy.“ He adds after some thinking. You bite back a laugh and bite your tongue. “I haven´t noticed.“ You joke, implying on the endless nights you spent on the couch with some 80´s movie running in the background. You know Joel loves them, Ellie told you that long before Joel and you were even a thing. “I can´t help it I’m a guy with decent taste.“ He laughs and you rest your head against his shoulder, your temple brushing up and down with each step. “We´re almost there.“ You blurt out as you spot the others in the distance, horses already prepared and ready to get picked up. “I know.“ Joel stops and cups your cheek, making you look up at him. Your breaths mingle in the cold and you stare into his eyes, trying to simply take all of him in. “I love you.“ Joel whispers and dips his head down, meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. “I love you.“ You say back, swallowing down the anxious feeling in your chest and hugging Joel close. After some seconds of just standing there and sharing intimate kisses, you pull away and grab his hand again. “Let´s meet the others, it looks like they’re already waiting for us.“

——————-

Sorry for the wait, but I’m only now starting to feel better. I´m busying myself with writing tho, so the next chapter shouldn’t take too long :) we´re slowly coming to an end y´all, I´m not ready..

#tlou #tlou ellie #tlouedit #TLoU fanart #tlou joel #tlou2 #tlou2 fanart #tlou2 ff #tlou2 fanfic #tlou2 icons #tlou2 imagine #tlou2 x reader #Joel Miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanart #joel miller imagine #joel miller series

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goksiiiiii · 4 years ago

Text

Fake Blondie changed my life - Zabdiel De Jesús

Note: This is my first imagine ever, and first time I am actually trying to write something like this. I hope it is not too bad. I am sorry for all my mistakes but I hope you understand because ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

The life has never been easy. I mean, how can it been easy for a girl who doubts her worth and hates herself every day more and more? It hasn't always been like that, you were a happy child, full of energy and love for life. Unfortunately, you just didn't have luck, you bumped into wrong people, the ones that broke you. "You are actually so ugly, I mean look at your body, not only that you don't have boobs but neither do you have ass, you are so fucking flat, nobody would even fuck you and let's not talk about possibilty that someone would fall in love with you." were the words you would often hear, just in different ways. Sometimes you would hear it from your "friends", family and exes who left you after they didn't get what they wanted. It is not that you haven't been a strong girl, it has just become too much to handle. You would always wonder how they couldn't understand that you didn't have an opportunity to choose the way you would look like. It doesn't even matter because we all can be loved the way God made us.

You have moved to Miami, you were hoping for a better life. When you thought about better life you didn't mean having hookups and fucking every night different boy, no, the better life for you meant FREEDOM. You were hoping that you will be FREE, that you will be YOURSELF, you were hoping that nobody would judge you and make you feel even more shitty, if that was possible.

You got a job to work as a fashion designer for a latin boy band CNCO. It was your dream to work as a fashion designer because you have been so creative since you were very little. You were from Europe so you didn't have an opportunity to hear about them earlier. You started exploring things about them, not because you were interested in them, but because you wanted to see how they like to dress so that you can do your job well and make everyone happy. Sometimes, it seems like all you ever cared for was to make people around you happy. You have always put yourself last. It never crossed your mind that handsome boys like them would even notice you. Everyone wanted them and nobody ever wanted you, because at the end of the day you were just a flat girl. At least that's what you thought.

"I heard we will have new fashion designer" Zabdiel stated. "Oh dios mio, really?" Erick asked curiously "I really hope that we will finally be dressed up like our bodies deserve." "Carla said she will be here soon, so I will go outside to wait for her so she doesn't get lost" Richard tells the boys while heading towards exit. "It is a girl?" Christopher immediately stops playing Fortnite. "I guess, but you know, you don't need to flirt with every girl in the wolrd" Joel rolls his eyes at Chris. "Ay papa, you need to wake up man, la vida es solo una" Chris tells Joel while having a big smile on his face.

You enter the building but you don't see anyone. You try to stay as calm as you can, not allowing your anxiety to come in and ruin your dreams. As you start walking up the stairs, you bump into someone and fall down. "Oh my God are you okay?" Richard asks you worriedly "I- I- am so sorry, I was looking for our new dresser and I was in a hurry, I didn't want her to get lost." he says while helping you to get up. "In that case, I won't give you the worst clothes, I will save them for other memebers who misbehave" you tell him smiling a little. "Oh- are you-" you cut him saying "Yes. That's me" "God, I am such an idiot nena, sorry." Richard says facepalming "I almost made you break your leg on your first day." You both laugh "No need to worry, I know to be clumsy." "I am Richard and thank you for taking it easy on me and not ruining my fashion model career because of this." "I am Y/N, and don't worry, you still need to earn my trust." you said jokingly while Richard shakes head "Trust me other boys are more problematic than me, let me introduce you to them."

Richard was really nice and kind to you and you were yourself joking a bit with him, but then you remembered that you don't want to get attached to anyone. Who the hell knows what's behind that charimng smile Richard has. You don't want new friends who will hurt you at the end or even worse you don't want a boyfriend. You don't trust anyone anymore so you decided to stay as distant as you could with all the memebers from CNCO. But then you slightly shook your head and thought to yourself "Like anyone would want you anyways." A really loud and excited voice stopped you from overthinking "Oh, mamita welcome, soy Christopher, ma mas sexy of them all" he smiles at you and at that moment you wish you had his confidence.

"I am Y/N, nice to meet you." you simply say with a small smile on your face. Erick and his ugly shirt caught your attention next. "Okay you seriously need help with that." you say looking at Erick from top to the bottom. "Omg that hurts." Erick tells you while pretending to wipe a tear. He had extremly beautiful eyes and you knew it will be hard to stop staring at them. "It will be alright, no llores." you say patting Erick's back. "What's up with others? You ain't going to introduce yourselfs?" a beautiful blondie spoke up while walking towards you. "She knows me already because I almost killed her." Richard defends himself. Zabdiel gives him a confused look but decides to focus on you "Okay so, the boy who tried to kill you is Richard, the least sexy guy in here is Christopher-" "Ay papa, why so mean to me?" Chris squeals while pretending to be crying with Erick. "Oh God with who I am working." you chuckle and shake your head. Zabdiel smiles so softly at you which almost causes you to blush but you don't because you know the smile isn't for you, he is just being kind and polite, your mind tells you. "The boy who needs your help with style is Erick, the quiet one eating french fries is Joel and I am Zabdiel." he finishes introducing. "I am not quiet, I just thought she knew us." this time Joel defends himself. "I am from Europe and unfortunately Latin music is not on the big level there" you state. "Anyways I am really glad I have an opportunity to work with you guys, I know you have a concert in 3 days so we can start looking for stuff that you will wear." "Ay nena, relajate, you have time." Chris says while putting his arm around your shoulder. "You didn't tell us anything about yourself." You try your best to be kind to the boys but you were scared you will end up being hurt again. "Look, I am here to work, not to hang out with you, so please just call me when you are ready to work with me and to make an idiot of me." You exclaimed while walking out of the room. The boys look at each other in shock. "What's up with her?" Christopher asks. "No clue, but that was weird." Erick adds. "Don't be rude. We don't know her story." Zabdiel tells them. It seems like Zabdiel was the only one to notice, you are still healing your wounds.

You came to your apartment and just locked the door and threw yourself on the bed overthinking how you reacted to the boys. You knew you were so rude and that they didn't deserve it at all but you couldn't help it. You wanted to protect yourself and you thought it was a good way. But was it really? Even thought it was pretty early to sleep, it was 8pm, you just wanted to fall asleep and forget about everything. Suddenly, as your eyes start to close, you hear a bell ringing. You aren't getting up, hoping that whoever the hell it is will be gone. "Come on Y/N, we know you are in." you hear Chris' voice. "Open up please" Joel begs. You get up to open the door surprised with the fact that they found out where you live. "What the hell are you guys doing? I am trying to sleep." you say. "Sleep? At 8pm on Saturday night? Erick asks seriously. "Yea?" you state simply. "Can we come in and talk? Please." Zabdiel looks into your eyes. You quickly look away and walk away leaving the door open. The boys take that as a yes and slowly walk in.

"I have brought lots of snacks and drinks!" Richard says pointing at paper bags "We are going to make you a welcome party." You just got back into your bed and covered yourself with a blanket. "Yea, you guys have fun, just please don't break anything I literally moved in this morning." you tell them closing your eyes. "I knew that this was bad idea, we should give her time." Joel whispers to Zabdiel. "Yes, we shouldn't force her to open up, if she is not comfortable with us Zab." Erick agrees with Joel. "What, is it blame Zabdiel day or what? We haven't even tried to make her feel comfortable with us! How can she feel comfortable when there is Christopher who just comes in front of her and says "Yo I am the sexiest." I mean stop complaining and try your best to help her feel okay. She is going to be with us now every day." Zabdiel exclaimed. "Did you fall for her in like 2 hours or what?" Chris asks him with a smirk on his face. "Can you be serious at least for 1 minute? It is not always about flirting and fucking. You sometimes need to help people." Zabdiel tells him while shaking his head. "She was really happy when I bumped into her, she was so chill and I loved her humor, idk what happened later." Rich says while taking a sip of his favourite drink. Chris comes closer to you grabbing whipped cream while whispering to you slowly. "If you don't want to come to our party.... party will come to you." Chris says while spraying whipped cream all over your face and running away from you. "Christopher Damn Velez!" you shouted at him while jumping out of the bed to get your revenge but then Erick grabs you by your waist and stops you. "Run bro, run bro! I got you" Erick yells. "Erick, let me go rn or you will have an ugly style forever!" you tell him. "Y/N don't do that to me..." Erick says making a puppy face. "I am warning you!!!" you say acting seriously. Erick looks carefully at Zab coming slowly behind him and let you in his arms. "You have nothing to blackmail me with." Zab wishpers in your ear while wrapping his arms around your waist. Your body shivers at his touch and you get gooseboomps from his breath on your neck. You don't know why, but it just happens. Seems like your body was giving you signs and trying to tell you "He is the one." "Zabdiel..." you managed to say something. "You either let us introduce ourselves in real light and have good time with us or..." "Or what?" you ask "This." not even finishing the sentence he started tickling you. "N-no, n-no Zabdiel!" you exclaimed while laughing. "Stop, stop please!" you begged while tears were rolling down your face from laughing. But he didn't plan to stop, he was just tickling you even more intensively. "Then promise..." Zabdiel orders. "O-okay, te lo prometo!" you say breathing heavily. "Omg, you are such an idiot!" you tell him while throwing a pillow at him. Zabdiel didn't care about you wanting to kill him at the moment, he just knew his heart was happy because he made you smile. And if his heart and emotions could talk at that moment. They would say it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.

"So it is sleepover then?" Joel asks. "It is." you roll your eyes playfully. "I even got stuffed animals!" Richard tells you and burst into laughter. "Omg you guys are so sweet." "OH DIOS, chicos this is our first compliment!" Chris claps his hands in excitement and everyone else make sarcastic shocked faces which causes you to laugh even more. They all light up candles and ties up balloons trying to make this interesting as much as they could. But also, they were making sure that you are comfortable and fine with everything they were doing. Zabdiel makes comfy place for you to sit next to him. "Come here." he tells you while patting the seat next to him. "No, I am still mad at you." you say trying not to laugh. "Ik how to make this even." Erick says while spraying whipped cream all ove Zabdiel's hair. "NOT THE HAIR!" Zabdiel screams. Christopher started laughing so much which made you burst into tears of laughter because his laugh was the most contagious laugh in the world. They all kept making mess throwing food at each other. "You all are going to clean this I swear." you say looking at the mess they made. "We are going to sing to you now. We will make you forget about all bad things we have done!" Joel says while smiling softly. "Oh hell no, I bet you all suck..." you say teasing them. Zabdiel raises his eyebrows at you, and you felt like your heart was just going to melt. And you were right. Erick starts slowly playing "Tu Luz" on guitar he brought here.

"Dime tú, cómo hago para captar tu atención

Sé muy bien, que en el pasado

Te han roto el corazón"

Zabdiel sings to you while tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. He sang with so much passion, and that, together with the meaning of the lyrcis, made you get so emotional.

"Abrázame fuerte y no tengas miedo amor

Déjame explicarte..." Chris starts singing to you and his harmonies were already bringing the death to you.

"Quiero ser el que llena de felicidad

Cada espacio de soledad

Déjame ser tu luz"

they all sing together and you couldn't help it with all the emotions and their beautiful voices. "I- I- am sorry, I will be right back." you say with a low voice while crying your eyes out you run to the bathroom.

Everyone look at each other worriedly. "Zab go with her." Joel tells him. "Go see if she is okay." Richard adds. You sit down on the cold bathroom tiles leaning in the wall. You remember all the things people did to hurt you and the way Zabdiel sang to you "I know very well that in the past they have broken your heart." made you think avout all the times people came into your life to waste a couple of months and then leave you when they didn't get what they wanted. "Y/N.. please open the door." Zabdiel says while knocking on your bathroom door. You couldn't even hear him because you were overwhelmed with so many emotions at that moment and you felt like panick attack would get you soon. You try to calm down yourself but you just keep shaking and sobbing even more not realizing how loud you were getting. Once Zabdiel hears you his heart starts beating so fast "Y/N I don't care I am coming in." he tells you while opening the door. He sees you sitting down trying to calm your breathing down. Zabdiel doesn't say anything he just knees down to you and pulls you into his chest hugging you tightly. "Y/N, I am here, you are okay." Once he wrapps his arms around you body your heart starts slowly to get back in normal rhythm. He genlty grabs your face in his hand making you look at him. "Nena, it is okay, I am here, you are safe, no one is going to hurt you." he tells you looking deep into your eyes. You just nod slowly at him and hugs him tightly. You didn't know why you did that, but the only thing you knew at that moment was that you felt so safe in his arms.

After a few minutes of silence but comfortable one, you spoke up. "I am so sorry for causing such a scene in front of you and the boys." you say playing with your fingers. "I have never wanted to be rude just-" "Just you are scared to let us in your life for some reason?" Zabdiel cuts you off "You don't have to apologize for anything nena. I know how ew people can be, and how they can turn your mind against you." he tells you. "Just.. you have no idea how much I hate myself and everything about me.. I- I- don't even know why you guys want to hang out with a girl like me." you tell him while wipping your tears away." Zabdiel puts his hand on yours making sure you are okay with it. "There is absoultely nothing in you or on you that you should hate." Zab says simply. "If me and guys hadn't felt and seen that you were such a nice girl and such a great person we wouldn't even bother coming here." "I know you have every right to think I can be just some another lie, but this is me looking you right in the eyes now and promising you that we are here to protect you. I am here for anything you need. If you want to rant, go on I will listen, If you want advice I will try my best to give you great one. I am here for anything you need. Just give us a chance and we will prove to you that you can count on us." Zabdiel tells you not taking his eyes off of you. You smile at him and deep inside your heart feels that he is honest but your mind tells you to be careful. "Muchas gracias Zab, I will try my best but I hope you understand I will need time." you tell him not noticing your thumb was slighty stroking his hand. "Vale niña, we will be waiting for you. You will work with us every day, you need to get close to us sooner or later." he smiles and purposely bumps his shoulder with yours. "Now go shower, relajate and go to sleep. You need rest." You nod at him while he leaves the bathroom. Zabdiel tells his bandmates what happened and they all gave a promise that will do their best to make you feel good with them. "Can't sleep Zab?" Chris slowly whispers. "Nah." Zab replies. "You thinking about Y/N?" Chris asks. "All I know Chris is that I want to make her be able to smile without being afraid to." Zab tells Chris. "And I am sure, you will bro." Chris tells him being so confident about his words. In the morning, boys got up early to clean the mess they had made. You woke up hearing Chris' laughing about God knows what. "Ohhh, buenos dias sleeping beauty." Richard tells you. "What are guys doing?" you ask. "Nada we took a day off to help you clean." Joel answers you. "Omg, why would you that? I could do it, I was just joking last night." you tell them. "Shhh!" Erick tells you "Less talk, more work!" Erick says grabbing a brush and paint in his hands. "Are you guys like going to paint my apartment?" you ask worriedly. "Yup this place is really ugly and you need to start fresh here soo..." Erick tells you while throwing a brush at you. "Vamos a trabajo!" You just look at them in disbelief and shake your head.

"Let's start from the top." Zab says. "You know not everyone has your height." you tell him playfully rolling your eyes. Zab bends down and picks you up so you can sit on your shoulder. "What about now?" he asks. "Omg you are such an idiot." you smile. Zabdiel was happy because he was making you smile. He really liked having you close to him. "Zabdiel, bro, you have been painting the same sport for 2 minutes now, are you okay?" Chris asks while moving hand in front of his eyes. "Um- yea yea, I am fine, I was just thinking about something." Zab defends himself. You decided to distract him from his thoughts so you put a bit of blue paint on his nose. "Ohhh.... my bad, lo siento." you tell Zabdiel. "Excuse me? What was that for?" he asks while having a big smile on his face. "Nothing, it was an accident." you say trying to stop yourself from laughing. "Oh?" Zab says while putting a paint on your thigh. "This was also an accident." he casually tells you. "Zabdiel! Don't do that" you scream at the feeling of cold paint. "Do what?" he acts innocently. You use your brush and this time paint his hair. "Here, it is better, I didn't like blonde anyways." you say. "Oh my God, oh my God, you are so bad." he says while bringing you down and pushing you to the wall. Zabdiel starts moving his hair on your face. "Zabdiel! Detener!" you yell at him while laughing so much. "Oh, I love this new look of you." he says while smirking at you. "I swear you will stay bald." you try to seriously tell him. "Nah, my stylist won't let it happen to me." he says looking deep into your eyes. "Oh really? We will see." you tell him. Zabdiel's heart was beating fast and his breathing was getting heavier. He wished nothing more than to press his lips against your. He was trying to refrain especially because of the deep talk you two had last night. "I swear I dropped my ring in here-" Richard enters the room looking for the ring he lost. Chris notices you two being close to each other pressed against the wall. "We are sorry!" Chris tells you two while grabbing Richard's hand and dragging him out of the room. "Um, let's get cleaned." Zab says trying to ease the tension. "Vale." you tell him kinda thankful for Richard and Chris entering the room because you felt like if Zabdiel wasn't going to kiss you, you would do it instead. After you and boys finished painting they decided to go out with you to show you Miami a bit. "I swear Erick just kept eating the whole day, he hadn't painted anything." Joel complained. "OMG bro stop lying." Erick tells him. "This man is a liaaaar, this man is a liaa a a a r" Richard starts singing. "Madre mia, are you guys this childish every day?" you ask curiously. "What is it supposed to mean?" Chris asks while crossing arms like a kid. "Nada." you say giving up. "Nah, I swear we are normal." Zabdiel says. "Pff, yes especially you." you tell him while looking at the sunset on the beach. Other boys went to grab something to eat while Zabdiel told them he is not hungry and that he will stay with you. As you were enjoying the feeling of walking barefoot on the wet sand you see your ex friend. Well, more like ex friend with benefits. "Y/N?" Marco says. "Is that you?" he says coming close to you. "Um- yeah hi." you tell him smiling awkwardly. Marco was your friend in highschool. You guys would always have such a great time together. He was so sweet to you and whenever someone bothered you he would try to make you forget about it giving you the best pleasure ever. He was simply good in the bed. That lasted until everyone discovered you two were fucking. After they found out, people started teasing him how he couldn't find a better bitch to fuck and then he threw you away like a garbage. "Omg I haven't seen you for ages!" he says. "Who is this?" he asks pointing at Zabdiel. "He is a friend." you tell him. "With benefits? New one? Is he better than me?" Marco kept asking dumb questions which embarassed you so much. You didn't want Zabdiel to think you were just another girl wanting to fuck every second boy.

You were a teenager and at that time, that was the only way for you to escape the reality. "No Marco!" you yell. "That's in the past, I am not a kid anymore and I am not wasting my time on it. I am actually trying to find someone who is worth to love and not just to fuck. I am trying to have a normal life. Maybe you should do it too." you tell him while grabbing Zabdiel's hand and walking away from him. "Yeah good luck with that, hole is hole for every boy no matter how ugly you are." Marco shouts. Zabdiel was going to run after your ex friend but you stopped him. "I am so sorry about that." you tell Zab completely embarassed. "It is fine." he says. "But what's not fine is the way he was talking to you. It is so disgusting. I am literally disgusted with all males." Zabdiel tells you. "Dw about it, I am really used to it." you sigh. "No, damn it, you are the most chill and beautiful girl I have ever seen. And I don't even care what you say but I don't know what is better about you, how hot and beautiful you look or your incredible personality." he tells you speaking so quickly. Zabdiel couldn't handle this all and before you got a chance to answer him he asks "Is he your type?" You look at him confused but answering anyways. "No, honestly I don't know even who is my type. They all end up hurting and breaking me at the end." you say looking at the sea. "I don't want you to think I am girl like that, you know, just looking for someone to have sex with for one night-" "No, Y/N I know you are not." Zabdiel simply says. "I know you are much more than that." "Thank you Zab." you tell him smiling a little. "So let's say, a Puerto rican, 22 years old, fake blondie wanted to be your type, what would you say?" he asks you looking at your hands on your lap. This time, both your mind and heart were telling you that he was the one. The right one. "I love fake blondies." you tell him biting your lip trying not to smile so much. Zabdiel quickly moves his head up to look at you smiling so much. "So this fake blondie wants to ask you if you could give us a try?" he says. You nod at him putting a hand on his cheek slowly stroking it with your thumb. Zabdiel puts his forehead on yours and slowly moves his lips to yours, kissing you softly and passionately. "I will make you happy nena, I promise you." he tells you pulling away and bringing your hand next to his heart. "You have already done it, you have changed my life for such a little time." you tell him smiling for the first time without being afraid that you will end up being hurt. "LENGUA KISS! WE WANT LENGUA KISS!" boys shout while running to hug you both. The moment Zabdiel hears their voices, he knows whats is comping up, so he quickly grabs your hand and make you two run into the water of calm ocean.

He changed your life. He made you feel like a queen. His queen.

Sometimes you need to go through a lot of pain and experience awful things to be happy. "You will be happy" said life "but first I will make you strong."

Thank you for reading!:)

Please message me and tell me what do you think about my first work ever. Ly xx

#cnco #cnco imagine #zabdiel de jesus #zabdiel #zabdaddy #cnco smut #cnco fanfic #cnco fluff #cncoimagine

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snowbellewells · 4 years ago

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A Birthday Gift for @itsfabianadocarmo

So I have been LOVING @itsfabianadocarmo‘s CSR Aesthetic Picsets, and especially the ones telling the story of an alternate S7 in Hyperion Heights, but where Emma was also present as a waitress named Eva Cygnet. Then, as @itsfabianadocarmo and I began to chat on here more, I learned we share the exact same date of birth! (What are the odds?!?) So, my birthday twin, I began plotting a little surprise for you. I hope you’ll like it. It’s just a little one shot to go along with your first picset in that series (which I have hopefully attached so those who haven’t seen it can do so HERE). I hope you’ll enjoy this - and maybe, if I get a few more WIPs finished, more will accompany this one!

Anyway, I hope you have the very best birthday!! I’ve so enjoyed getting to know you!! :)

“Marmalade and Tea”

by: @snowbellewells

“What about this place, Tilly?” Rogers questioned his jittery passenger with a sidelong glance as he eased his classic Chevelle into a parking space along the sidewalk. “Looks cozy, hmm?”

Though making a valiant effort to remain patient and upbeat, the vagabond sprite he’d taken into his home and his affections had already shot down every dining establishment in a two block radius and he had begun to fear none would suffice and they’d run out of options. Not for the first time, the worry struck him that he was ill-equipped for the needs and wishes of a young lass such as Tilly. But she was so lost, so vulnerable - scrappy and resourceful as she might first appear - that he hadn’t been able to leave her fending for herself. She tugged at his emotions more than he could understand. All he knew in that moment was that he was far too hungry to get by on the toast and marmalade Tilly usually wanted for supper.

His young companion cocked her head to the side, staring out the passenger window to study the kitschy little diner her detective had indicated. She bit her lip in concentration, and Rogers held his breath, hoping this one might be a winner, until finally she bobbed her tawny head, light-brown waves of her hair rustling as she did so. “Yep! Let’s check it out!”

Without further hesitation or doubt, Tilly flung her door open and hopped out onto the sidewalk excitedly. Shaking his head at the quick change in disposition, Rogers found himself hurrying after her as she practically skipped up the walk toward the diner’s entrance, humming cheerily to herself. For all her deliberation of moments ago, once Tilly made up her mind, he had to admit she threw herself into any given course of action with gusto and commitment.

Catching up to Tilly at the door, Rogers playfully bowed to her with a crooked grin and raised eyebrow, “After you, milady,” he teased in his lilting voice, as he held the door open for her to pass.

To his delight, she giggled, just as he had hoped, her face lighting up with glee at the simple moment of playfulness. Lifting her chin regally, she preceded him into the diner with a haughty toss of her hair, “Why thank you, good sir,” she returned.

As she spoke, her shorter form brushed past him in the entry, and Rogers felt a current of recognition run through him - freezing him in place. It was as if he had spoken those very words, heard her exact response, lived the entire moment before. He blinked, trying to shake his head clear of such impossible nonsense. Not only had he only known Tilly for a few months, but before that he had been utterly alone, no one in his life to joke around with - or even to enjoy a pleasant lunch with as he and Tilly were doing now. He had to be mistaken, and yet…

He glanced to the young runaway, now living in his spare room and filling it to the brim with her colorful, splashy paintings and sketches as well as the trinkets and treasures she picked up on her daily rambles while he was at work. She too appeared startled, wide-eyed as though she were trying to process something which had flashed across her mind’s eye before vanishing again.

For a second, superimposed upon his vision of Tilly before him, he saw a younger version of her, dressed in a pretty dress and pinafore, a much younger iteration of her face gazing up at him in adoration. It was all he could do to hold onto his breath. What was happening to him?

Afraid to share what he had seen, knowing Tilly’s grip on reality could already sometimes be fragile, Rogers tried to push the strange near-reminiscence and the image aside, gesturing toward the counter in question to see if TIlly would prefer a seat there in the tall stools rather than a booth. She too seemed to shake a dazed expression from her face, and nodded, hopping onto the nearest seat quickly. He noticed her agitation though as she softly drummed her fingers on the countertop and swiveled in her seat.

Rogers wondered briefly if he should ask her what was wrong or let her pretend. Should he find out if she had seen something odd as well, and if so, what? He hated to disturb the equilibrium she had recently found; dreaded upsetting her or encouraging flights from reality. So he bit his tongue with effort and held back his questions. Instead, he asked what she had been working on in her latest art piece, and Tilly launched into a detailed and enthusiastic description of the enchanted setting of some Wonderland in a book she’d read.

Just as he was drawing in a breath of relief and feeling normalcy return, their waitress arrived before them. “Hello, welcome to Ruby Red’s! What can I start you off with today?” The voice was welcoming and pleasant, but lower and less gratingly perky than often assaulted one’s ears in such small, cutesy restaurants. The detective had hardly even picked up his menu, much less perused his choices, and he flushed, embarrassed to the very roots of his dark hair, scruffy cheeks pinking and even the tips of his subtly pointed ears taking on the hue. Tilly noticed, and elbowed him with a snicker, causing Rogers to fumble with the laminated sheet of their offerings and bring up his stiff, gloved hand as well to keep from dropping the menu. He’d been too busy pondering over his strange reverie and observing his younger companion’s disquiet, but she seemed to have thrown that aside and resumed her jovial nature once more, so he attempted to do the same.

“Ah, hello Lass,” he offered awkwardly, reaching up to scratch behind his ear uncertainly and wishing for at least the hundredth time that he were a bit more suave and self-assured. “Sorry about that, haven’t quite made up my mind yet.” Looking to offer her an apologetic smile, Rogers nearly swallowed his own tongue at the sight before him.

Their waitress was stunning. Surely the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. She was dressed simply in a sleeveless chambray button-down top and khaki skirt that came to mid-thigh toped with short red apron. Yet, even with her bright fall of blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and dark, plastic-framed glasses on her nose, she was dazzling to his senses.

“That’s quite alright,” she assured with an easy smile. “Maybe just your drink orders while you decide?”

“Right you are, Miss…” he paused, stumbling over his words and inherent politeness when he realized he didn’t know her last name. “Ah... Eva?” he finished sheepishly as his eyes found the small plastic nametag she wore.

Not seeming in the least put off by his nerves or fumbling manner - in fact, if Tilly, who was watching the exchange with a deviously pleased grin and avid interest, were any sort of judge, their pretty waitress seemed decidedly charmed. Nodding, the woman hurried to answer him. “Yep, Eva, that’s right. Eva Cygnet.” She reached out to shake his hand only to find that he hesitated to offer his, leading her eyes to fall on the prosthetic she had failed to notice. Rogers’ eyes fell to the countertop, lips pressed together in a firm line, but his head shot back up in surprise when she laid her hand atop his gloved replacement appendage, kindly adding, and holding his gaze until it was clear she meant her words and that the false hand didn’t bother her at all. “Glad you decided to visit us today, Mr. …?”

“Rogers,” the detective spoke up, confidence growing in his voice as he marveled at the woman’s simple kindness and understanding. “Joel Rogers, Hyperion Heights detective.” His cheeks flushed again, not sure why he’d added that part, but holding her gaze all the same.

Tilly, however, was now completely won over. Seeing the change that had come over her friend and benefactor in the short exchange with this Eva Cygnet, and just how amazed he seemed by her mere presence, Tilly was practically beaming. With a bounce of enthusiasm, she chirped, “Best on the force, that’s him!”

Ms. Cygnet chuckled easily, flattering laughlines crinkling the corners of eyes that might have seemed a bit tired when she first reached their seats, but now appeared friendly and amused. “Good to know,” she said seriously, turning her attention to Tilly then. “If we have any trouble here, I’ll know just who to call.”

Tilly nodded smartly, reaching out to shake Eva Cygnet’s hand readily and then adding, “And you don’t have to wait on my order, either. Could I just have toast with butter and orange marmalade and a glass of milk?”

Eva’s head tilted as if uncertain, and possibly even trying to decide if the younger woman was playing some sort of trick on her. She scrunched her nose in a thoughtful way that made Rogers want to reach out and tap the tip of it with his finger, an urge he barely managed to wrestle down. Finally, the waitress seemed to make up her mind, and with a shrug, jotted Tilly’s order on her pad. “If you’re sure that’s all you want, you can certainly have it. Our bread is baked fresh right here in our kitchen every day - and Granny makes the preserves herself as well - best I’ve ever tasted.”

“Granny?” Tilly repeated curiously as she looked at their server.

“Oh yeah, sorry,” Eva offered. “Mrs Lucas, the owner. Most of us have worked here forever, so it’s almost like family, and that’s what we all call her. She told me her name was Granny when she hired me.” Shaking her head, she leaned in closer to Tilly in a conspiratorial whisper. “We just finally got her to take a two week vacation for the first time in years. She went to Colorado to see her granddaughter and her husband and great-grandkids. He’s some sort of woodsman, forestry officer, something like that, and they live in a national park basically. Granny’s been thinking about it for ages, and Ruby - this place is named after her - keeps begging her to, saying she and Pete would love to have her stay with them. And so she finally did it!”

Tilly’s eyes were shining, looking as thrilled with the happy story as if she too knew the people Eva spoke of so fondly. “Wow,” she commented. “That sounds amazing.”

“Yup,” Eva confirmed, with a bob of her head, “but look at me gabbing on when you’d probably like your food sometime today!”

She turned to Joel then, a patient look on her face and pen poised to take down his order as well. He would never have assumed it had anything to do with him (it did) but she looked flushed and more than a bit apologetic, and he wanted to tell her that he would listen to her stories all day. She could read them the entire menu word-for-word, and he would welcome it if that was what it took to keep her near.

“What would you recommend?” he questioned instead, brow furrowing in consternation as he almost added “Love” at the end of his request.

Eva grinned, offering her pick without hesitation. “This may sound crazy. I’ve been told more than once I’ve got the palate of a 10-year-old, but I’d have the grilled cheese club. The bread’s all crisp and buttery and there’s this secret sauce and bacon in the cheese. It’s just melty, perfect goodness.”

Winking at her, badly, both eyes seeming to close as if unable to work independently, Rogers took her at her word. “Sold! That does sound delicious, maybe with a side of - “

“Onion rings?”

“Yes, exactly! Brilliant, Lass.”

“You have good taste,” Eva Cygnet offered sagely. “I’ll always pick onion rings over fries myself. And to drink?”

“Iced tea, please,” he concluded, handing his menu to her as Tilly did the same.

When she had taken off to place the order, assuring them it wouldn’t be long, Tilly nudged him repeatedly, looking all-too-excited. “Was that flirting?!?” she half-whispered, half-squealed in a tone that felt entirely too noticeable to Rogers’ ears. “Ohmygoodness! Adorable! I’ve never seen you like that, Detective!” More nudging and giggling followed, even after Eva returned with their food, until Joel honestly wanted to slide under the counter and out of sight. However, the food was as delicious as promised, and he found himself happy in a way he hadn’t been in some time - despite any lingering embarrassment.

Tilly seemed to feel the same satisfaction, even asking Eva when she returned with the bill and to hear what they thought of the food, if they sold the marmalade by the jar.

“Not yet, I’m afraid,” Eva laughed good naturedly as she rang them up. “Though I’ve been telling Granny she should.” She paused for a second as Joel offered her a twenty and her fingers deftly made change. “You’ll just have to come back often to have more.”

Her words were spoken to Tilly, but her glance darted over to take in the handsome dark-haired detective as well, hopeful as they studied his face quickly before flickering away again.

“That we will,” Tilly affirmed, her look bouncing back and forth between her friend and the waitress mischievously. “Don’t you worry.”

“Aye,” Rogers added with his own crooked smile, reaching out to take his receipt. “I’ve no doubt we’ll be returning often.”

His words cut off abruptly when he and Eva’s fingers touched. The thin cash register paper crumpled as their fingertips met, and his calloused fingers brushed her soft palm. Pictures flashed behind his eyes - of her golden hair cascading loose from her ponytail and his hand tangling in it, of her in a pale pink dress and his favorite leather jacket draped over her shoulders, the two of them sitting by the water somewhere passing a flask of rum back and forth, her fingers clutching at his collar desperately while she hauled him to her for a kiss, surrounded by green leaves and sticky humid air. It was all the more shocking for his having so recently experienced something so similar with Tilly, but if possible this with Eva Cygnet was even more intense. There was no way to deny what he saw - or the way it made him feel.

Eva said nothing, but was similarly arrested by pictures in her own mind: this man before her running his tongue along his lower lip as he flirts with her shamelessly, opening an old-fashioned spyglass with his mouth and then offering it to her as well, brushing her hair back over her shoulder with a hook at the end of his arm in place of the prosthetic, him standing with her by some sort of well, holding out a ring on a necklace chain.

Both of detective and waitress stumbled backward with similarly stunned gasps for air. Their hands fell to their sides, Rogers’ flexing unconsciously as if he had been shocked, and the receipt falling forgotten to the floor between them.

Neither were able to speak, until another customer behind them cleared his throat impatiently, and Tilly linked her arm through the detective’s, propelling him toward the door. “Thanks! We’ll see you soon.”

Eva moved to ring up the next tab, but her fingertips danced over her lips briefly, as if feeling the tingle of a kiss that didn’t happen. “Good,” she thought to herself. She could only hope those words were true.

Tagging just a few others who might enjoy (or have seen enjoying the aesthetic inspiration!) : @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @jennjenn615 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @tiganasummertree

#csr ff #cs alt s7 headcanon fic #csr oneshot #birthday fic gift #for @itsfabianadocarmo

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destiny-smasher · 4 years ago

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“But I can't walk on the path of the right, because I'm wrong.”

So, The Last of Us Part 2 is out. It’s about 25 hours long. I’ve played it. I loved it, but it’s got its flaws. I think the hype buildup was overblown, and I think the zealous hate from the leaks was also overblown. This is a beautifully produced game that is trying to do much more than the typical AAA game tries to do, and in so trying, it’s messier, muddier, and more complicated than its predecessor. I love it for that, despite my issues with how the game ultimately resolves things.

I think Naughty Dog was either intentionally misleading audiences (which, given the marketing, is possible) or perhaps Neil himself has a different concept of the game he directed than what was actually delivered. Despite how it was advertised, The Last of Us Part 2 is not inherently about ‘hate’ or ‘revenge.’ It’s not just a revenge story.

It's a story about empathy, about how human beings and their interactions have layers, and how we are better when we extend blind empathy to others instead of blind hatred. I gotta talk about this. SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE GAME to follow.

Seriously, final warning for SPOILERS.

This game is simply too big, too complex, and has too much going on for me to write a single piece going over everything there is to talk about, but there are some things I need to say that inherently rely on discussing the entire game in a spoiler-filled way.

Let’s start with the most noticeable thing that has hit me over this game’s reception: people like Joel way more than I would’ve expected. SO much of this game’s negative reception seems to be over Joel’s character and the circumstances around his death. I was not at all surprised that he died - I was a bit surprised at when and how he died, in the moment, but even by the end of the next scene, it had washed over me how much sense it made. He died in the same way everyone else dies in this series. He had it coming in the same way anyone else in this world has it coming. He was never a hero. If you truly look at Joel as a ‘hero’ figure but don’t extend that same logic to Ellie and Abby, you do not make sense to me.

I’ve seen a LOT of hate getting thrown at Abby, and frankly, I do not understand it, and if you hate her but do NOT hate Joel or Ellie similarly, then I inherently don’t respect your opinion? You’re being blatantly biased and unreasonable in exactly the way this game is arguing you should not be. Straight up. Get your transphobic jokes the fuck outta here. Get your homophobic takes on Ellie and Dina the fuck outta here. Get your xenophobic complaints about the MUCH more diverse cast of characters in this sequel the fuck outta here. The ONE case where I could see a reasonable thing to be conflicted about is Lev’s character, because they are a transgender kid who gets deadnamed by some NPCs. As a transgender person, I personally found this to just...make sense and feel organic to the world, and none of the actual characters in the narrative with names or roles in the story ever deadname Lev. Lev is fucking precious and I love him, and I think his inclusion adds inherently more to this game than otherwise, despite the understandable conflict some might feel about his backstory. To ME, the fact that all of what Lev goes through and how Yara and Abby do what they can to look for him, that says to me, “protect trans rights” and I am glad it is there. Trans people have to deal with that shit sometimes, I think it’s fine having it be PART of a wider narrative. It doesn’t define Lev’s story, it doesn’t dictate the plot of the game, it’s a spark that sets some events off and I think that adds more than it could potentially take away, as does the overall representation in the game.

Getting back to this element of bias, though, I get that you “went on a journey” with Joel and Ellie in the first game. I get that. But you spend about as much time with Abby in this game as you did with Joel in the first game. And I see a lot of people are SOMEHOW totally fine and chill and cool with Joel going on a murder rampage in the first game, specifically killing at least one man who was specifically trying to save humanity - they cite that Joel is a morally gray person who has done bad things and is trying to become a better person. Sure, cool, OK. And Ellie, sure, ya’ll will think her going on a bloodthristy revenge quest is cool, fine, A-OK, because Joel was murdered. But somehow they are physically incapable of extending that same empathy to Abby, even after the game bends OVER BACKWARD in every reasonable way it could. Why is this? One person tweeted at me the simplistic, reductive idea,

“ I know the sensible thing that naughty dog was aiming at was that we'd feel sorry for abby and eventually grow to like her, but for me I just don't. I loved Joel and I love Ellie. They didn't kill anyone who I loved as a character. Abby did. “

At least they’re being honest with themselves in that they literally missed the entire point of the game. You having personal bias you cannot remove yourself from does not make for “A DEEPLY FLAWED STORY” or whatever the fuck people have been tossing around.

I personally don’t buy any of that bullshit until we get into the final hours of the game during the epilogue, but we’ll get to that.

Everything in the first 20-ish hours of this game felt organic and believable and completely in line with the first game to me, and the fact that ALL OF IT happens as a direct after-effect of Joel’s selfish act at the end of the first game really contextualizes how/why it was called ‘Part 2.’ So honestly, all of this nonsense about this sequel being ‘badly written’ is just...bonkers. I will agree it’s not some master class in writing - neither was the original game. But both games are very similar in writing style, tone, and the world presented is consistent, while character motivations are realistically complicated. Naughty Dog has never been great at plot, but the real quality of their work comes through in how much effort they go to in order to present realistic feeling worlds and characters, and from the environments to the actors to the extra animations on top, I think the details and the context they create are where they shine.

To better understand where I am coming from with this game, let me lay this on you.

During the scene in that basement, when Abby shot Joel in the leg, and Ellie shows up...I realized what was about to happen. Ironically, it was exactly what I had originally predicted was the thing going on WAY back when the game’s reveal trailer was dropped -- that Joel was dead, and was motivating Ellie’s revenge quest. If you’ve read what I have written of Arcadian Rhythms, you will have some idea of my feelings on Joel and Ellie’s relationship -- in short, I think it is complicated, and just as damaging as it is good. That’s real life. That’s how reality is for many relationships, especially ones between parents and their kids, especially in my experience. When I realized Joel was about to be murdered, my feelings and thoughts were not jumping to ‘oh fuck what an asshole I wanna kill these people’ or ‘oh no not Joel’ but rather, my immediate gut thoughts were ‘yupppp Joel kinda deserves this, he literally did this to who knows how many other people, but why are THESE people, specifically, out to get him?’

When Ellie later cites to Dina that there’s ‘no point’ in speculating as to why these people murdered Joel, because it could be for one of many possible reasons, I found that to be interesting -- Ellie herself acknowledging that Joel had fucked over many other people, while still pursuing revenge herself.

I do think the theme of ‘the cycle of violence’ is very core to this game and arguably is its strongest central theme, specifically because violence in wholly integrated into its gameplay. But narratively and structurally, empathy is, I would argue, even more paramount. This game spends about 12 hours of its runtime (so about half of the entire game) actively trying to encourage you to understand, relate with, and empathize with Abby. The developers COULD have had you swapping back and forth between both characters, which might have resulted in better pacing, but I think it would’v taken away from what they were going for. It’s that long, slow burn that makes Abby’s side of the story work, in much the same way the long, slow burn of the first game does what it does, and the way the long, slow burn of Ellie’s revenge quest helps us see just how far gone she is.

But “arghh I hated Ellie she kept making bad decisions that made no sense” some of you say, “they did her DIRTY” some of you say.

No.

Joel did her dirty.

The Fireflies did her dirty.

And it’s this exact concept -- that our actions and choices have consequences and ripple outward beyond what we can initially imagine - that is at the heart of why I think I love this game so much. Most video games depict a pool of water that is either a constant whirlpool, a raging clash of waves, or stone dropped in the middle and the ripples spreading out. The Last of Us Part 2 is more like a series of ripples all happening simultaneously, and not all of them are as apparent or even important, but it’s just...a bunch of ripples all happening all over the place.

And it breaks my heart, during 2020, a year when human rights, systemic racism, a worldwide pandemic, late capitalism, and entire countries submerged in protests because their government is fucking them over...has people shutting off or refusing to turn on their empathy to anyone outside of their bubble. In 2020, when the world needs empathy more than any other year I’ve experienced in my life thus far, a game like this goes SO FAR above and beyond what most games try to do, in a very risky and controversial way, to actively invite its players to fucking STOP AND CONSIDER for a damn moment that there’s more to the world than JUST YOU and what you care about. That your actions have consequences beyond your singular perspective.

Ellie is fueled by rage for a number of reasons, and we don’t even understand all of them until literally the final moments of the game, which I found to be appropriate as it ends on a note of reminding us that there is ALWAYS something we don’t know, something we don’t understand, motivating someone else’s decisions.

Ellie was robbed of agency, of purpose, by both Joel and the Fireflies. Joel robbed both Ellie and the Fireflies of their purpose. And the Fireflies robbed Ellie and Joel of theirs. In return, Ellie is left without purpose, and all she’s really left with is a broken man who desperately wants to be a dad again, to the point that he will murder and lie to hold on to that. Don’t get me wrong - I don’t necessarily hold it against Joel that he murdered people to save Ellie. I will always defend the idea that it was a fucking selfish decision that would realistically lead to consequences. But in the same way Marlene points out to Abby’s dad, ‘What if it was your kid?’ ie ‘What if it was someone you loved?’ I get that, that’s the beauty of how the first game ended. It presents a zero sum game where there is no ‘correct’ choice that everyone can agree on, but in the back of our heads -- and Part 2 actually states this as a point of fact -- we all know Ellie would have CHOSEN to sacrifice herself, had she been asked.

So it was deliciously realistic to me to see Ellie grappling with the frustration, distrust, and anger of Joel having not only robbed that purpose from her, but having lied to her about it. And in the end, it was also wonderfully realistic that part of why she hated Abby so much was that Abby inadvertently robbed her of her chance to try and rebuild and repair that broken relationship.

But here’s the thing, though - the thing I see fucking NO ONE talking about, and I can’t decide if it’s because no one is picking up on it or what.

Both Ellie and Abby are haunted and driven by broken men making selfish choices. Their selfishness keeps both characters kind of locked in to desperately grasping at violent acts to justify a purpose.

Some will play the flashbacks with Joel and will feel warmth and nostalgia and admiration. Some will play the flashbacks with Owen and feel disinterest or disgust because ‘why should I care about these people?’

For me, I couldn’t help bu draw parallels to how both Owen and Joel were men trying to be good, you know, not being specifically evil people, but men who were a bad influence on the women around them, who were great and good and charming and all that until things didn’t go the way they wanted, pushing and prodding with passive digs and pressure to reaffirm their own hopes that despite their mistakes, they’re ‘good men.’ Owen is admittedly much less well developed in this regard, partly because his arc just isn’t as deep or interesting, partly because he didn’t exist in the previous game. But I still could not quite shake it. I grew up with men like Joel and Owen as my father figures, so there’s personal bias there.

I literally had an actual nightmare that woke me up in the middle of the night partway through playing through this game because Joel was in it and I said or did a thing he did not like, and his reaction spooked me awake, in part because I LIVED that growing up. (not murder, but violence, passive aggressive manipulation) I absolutely adore the depth given to Joel’s character, that he has LAYERS to him, and I loved seeing Tommy similarly expanded upon. (him passively prodding at Ellie to try and make good with Joel felt a little manipulative, given that he KNOWS what Joel did; and even his wife’s prodding at Ellie at the game’s outside to ‘make good’ with some old jerk who seems all expectant about being rewarded for basic apologizing, ech)

Last of Us is a horror game, Part 2 even moreso, but it was the feeling of men like Joel who do bad things and then try to justify them after the fact that actually creeped me out more -- all the more creepy because I KNOW Ellie and Abby will give up on better choices to try and ‘do right by them’. I was relieved when Abby began to break free from these old, poor choices, even shortly after making more fo them during her half of the story. This brings me to another fascinating aspect of this game: how Abby’s story is a combination of both Joel’s and Ellie’s.

Dunkey (of all people!) recently praised this game and compared Ellie’s and Abby’s narratives to TLOU1 and Uncharted 4, and I agree with him in a lot of regards, there, but I think what the team was more going for was for Abby’s story to feel like a combination of Joel’s and Ellie’s while simultaneously being directly impacted by Joel and Ellie’s story.

Abby grew up in a military community, even though she expressed an interest in science -- just like Ellie. The death of her father drives her on a quest for revenge -- just like Ellie. She does some horrible shit to people all in the service of trying to protect a kid as some desperate attempt to feel better about all of the bad shit she’s done -- just like Joel. She starts to let herself be empathetic to other people and tries to become a better person because of the kid she takes under her wing -- just like Joel.

In a way, you could argue Part 2′s overall story is kind of repetitious. Ellie’s quest for revenge is a bit too narrow-minded and blind in her rage, and Abby’s story kind of recycles many components we have already seen up until that point. I think what’s there still generally accomplishes what it set out to do: get us to question and try to understand why people do what they do, and consider our own place in that cycle, in those ripples.

I think many aspects of this game that look circumstantial on the surface are not accidents.

I think the recurring imagery of water is an allegory for how we can let rage, anger, and hate drown us. The game’s title starts with a boat drifting in water, and the title changes after the ending to a boat that is beached. The Seattle arc shows a gradually increasing focus on water flooding the environments, culminating in a big rainstorm with crazy waves. The final fight sequence (which tbh I hated but we’ll get to that) takes place literally IN water, involves Ellie trying to drown Abby, and ends with the two of them going separate ways in their boats.

I think it’s no accident that Abby and Ellie’s desire for vengeance is ultimately caused by the same specific moment, and I think it’s interesting that many people seem to skip RIGHT OVER the idea that Ellie feels such a deep sense of rage at Abby killing Joel only because Joel made the decision that caused Abby to kill him in the first place -- and the good and bad that came from that. It’s just a brilliantly complicated web, I think, and that further highlights that none of these characters are inherently good or evil, which is pretty much the entire point of this world in the first place.

I think it’s interesting that both Ellie and Abby grumble insults all of the time over the people they’re killing, and both try to justify their violence with thoughts like “well we’re better then that, we don’t do THOSE kinds of things,” which is, ya know, literally the kinds of mental hoops actual real human beings jump through to justify doing bad shit to each other.

I liked the idea of the trading cards until fairly early on when I found the ‘Dr. Uckmann’ card, which...made me roll my eyes a little at first, until I read the description, which then made me feel more actively uncomfortable than maybe anything else in the entire game, to be quite honest. Partly because it rang of entitled self-importance, but partly because of the reports of Naughty Dog crunch culture.

And on that note, let’s talk about how this game arguably crunched its employees way more than it needed to while simultaneously making its story more bloated than it needed to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I love indulging in more STUFF than it required. I can totally see the appeal of writing extra stuff to a story like because you can, because it’s interesting, because it’s fun to MAKE shit. But when you are a AAA game development studio who is potentially crunching your employees into burnout, maybe a fairly pointless epilogue on top of a game that is already arguably a bit too long in the tooth is...maybe not the best way to go?

On the upside, I enjoyed playing the Santa Barbara location, I loved getting some more Abby/Lev time, I liked seeing Ellie a bit older, I LOVED the scene at the farm with her, Dina, and JJ. I loved the gameplay challenge that was the Rattler’s base. I loved that this game had noticeably larger environments to explore.

But tbh a LOT of content could’ve been cut from this game to make a smoother, better paced experience while simultaneously putting less strain on the developers. I do think the extended flashback sequences focused on non-violent gameplay is important enough to justify itself, but I think a lot of the more violent or unnecessary parts of the game (like the entire sequence on the Seraphite’s island and the Santa Barbara sequence) all feel like...EXTRA? Which on the one hand is great because hot DAMN more beautifully rendered locations, content, etc. but on the other hand I’m not sure it adds as much to justify the real life pain and misery I’m sure some developers went through to create it all, and in a way, it doesn’t quite justify its own existence if we’re being critical.

I get what they were going for with the Seraphites and the WLF but neither group is developed enough to really accomplish the goals of empathy. I think focusing on specific members OF those groups is better, because that is ultimately how real life people break down their walls of bias, -isms, etc. -- they just interact with and befriend people from these groups and realize organically “oh hey we’re all...people, huh.” The game’s attempts at naming NPCs and dogs don’t do much when the game actively rewards you for killing them (speaking of which, I played on Normal and there were way too many items imo, we’ll see how that is on higher difficulties). We could get into the role of violence and gameplay but that’s a WHOLE other can of worms.

But the Rattlers in the final act are even worse. After this entire game of being actively encouraged to empathize with other people from other groups and let yourself consider they aren’t evil, the game just...shoves an objectively worse group of people at you, asks you to murder them, and then...discards the whole thing without a second thought. I found this to be fun from a gameplay perspective (sorry Neil, playing your game actually IS FUN when you put so much work into making the violence fun to engage with) but I found it weird and frustrating from a storytelling perspective, as if the whole thing was an undercooked, unfinished final act that they cobbled together because they just...wanted enemies with helmets and an environment depicting southern California. Hell, tbh I don’t even get why Ellie had to be there other than the developers didn’t think players would be OK just...letting Ellie live a life in peace on a farm or that players would be OK NOT playing as Ellie at the end and letting her beat the shit out of Abby.

I actually LOVED the farm sequence, it felt so...weird for a while. Like you’re just waiting for the hat to drop. And when it does...it’s just PTSD. And that felt right. That felt good, that even though Ellie was spared, after all the shit she did, because she let go and spared Abby in return, she got to live this peaceful life...except life’s not that simple and old scars can still hurt.

I loved when Tommy showed up and we got to see that darker side to him we KNOW has been there this entire time, but Ellie maybe hasn’t been forced to see it. All the way up until this point, I felt I could understand where the characters were coming from and what motivated their decisions.

And then Ellie decided “no, actually, maybe if I throw all of this away I can maybe get rid of this PTSD I got from throwing everything away before.” And then it got worse when after she breaks into this fucking slave house to free people, after she saves Abby and Lev from dying on posts, she STILL wants to fight. ANd Abby’s where I’m at -- that ‘fucking REALLY?’ feeling. I utterly disliked the fight scene in the water. It was the one time in the whole game that actually felt like misery porn to me. I was honestly going into it expecting that maybe Ellie’s stab wound from the trap would cause her to be too weak to fight, and she’d literally drown from bleeding out because of her own unrelenting pursuit of revenge. But nah, we’re put through a pointless, brutal fist/knife fight that...doesn’t really have purpose imo. WHatever you wanted to accomplish here, you could’ve done back in the theater in Seattle. (on that note I LOVED the Ellie boss fight, what a fun gameplay thing and also just tense all around since you really couldn’t tell what was going to happen, but I LOVE that Lev stopped Abby from killing Dina, even though she had every reason to)

I can imagine different versions of the Santa Barbara sequence that offer a more edifying conclusion while still working in the environmental and gameplay components they seemed insistent on working in. It’s the one major portion of the game that, now that I’ve had time to process, I feel the most conflicted about.

Neither Ellie nor Abby “deserve” a happy ending in much the same way Joel didn’t “deserve” a happy ending. This game has no true protagonists or villains (anyone who is presented as a ‘villain’ is minor, and we don’t find out much about them anyway). I think Joel was lucky to get the time he got to live in community once again, to rediscover his humanity (look at all of those flowers they left at his house, this man who fucked over humanity and murdered countless people had a chance to live a few years of peaceful life again), I think Ellie was lucky she got time to even live what she did on that farm with Dina and JJ, and was lucky to still be alive at the end of the story. I think Abby was lucky to have been able to break free from a life of militaristic bullshit and rediscover some of her own lost humanity.

I think a lot of people admire Joel as a hero when it’s clear he was never one.

I think a lot of people admire Ellie and try to idolize her as the smarmy kid she could never permanently exist as.

I think a lot of people hate on Abby for EXISTING (and being a woman -gasp- WITH MUSCLES) and I’m pretty pleased with Laura Bailey getting to play this role (and Ashly Burch getting a supporting role in this game, too, for that matter).

I think The Last of Us is not ‘about Ellie and Joel.’ I think The Last of Us is about humanity, and exploring it through different angle. Sometimes needlessly gritty and dark ones, but Part 2 gave us even more light-hearted, pelasant moments than I could have expected. I think people who look so reductively at this game -- now officially a ‘series’ -- as ‘Joel and Ellie 100x forever’ and literally anything outside of that being bad and a waste of time fundamentally missed the entire purpose of this game, ironically ignoring what it is trying to passionately to convey. I think Naughty Dog’s marketing of the game actively misled people in ways that are rare for the industry, and I do think that is a bit shady - but on the other hand, being misled actively improved my experience with the end product (which is arguably why they did it). I think the way Sony has latched on Joel and Ellie as ‘Playstation Icons’ and encouraged people to buy up TLOU merch depite there not being much TO turn into merchandise says something.

Also? Frankly?

I am SO FUCKING TIRED of “angry sad dad” games.

Like. I loved TLOU 1, I loved the new God of War, etc. etc.

But God of War took basically NO RISKS and had NOTHING TO SAY that countless other pieces of media have said to death. That’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that, I really enjoyed it and look forward to the next. But this game actually has challenging thoughts, complicated things, it is trying to get players to consider, and most everyone I see shitting on the game either hasn’t played it or doesn’t seem interested in games that exist for something beyond making them feel good about themselves? I dunno.

I think at the end of the day, TLOU as an entire series, and specifically the sequel, isn’t about Joel and Ellie, that was just the more focused lens the original game had. For its messier, muddier experience, Part 2 strives for nothing more than many pieces of media have but for something that is still rare in the space of AAA video games.

It takes some risks, it makes some missteps in getting where it goes, for sure, and it’s by no means some holy gift to mankid, but it passionately goes to GREAT lengths to explore and express a fairly simple idea:

empathy is a choice, understanding others is a choice,

and we are all inherently better off when we choose to blindly accept understanding than when we blindly choose hate and violence.

Just because we can’t walk ‘the path of the right,’ and just because ‘we’re wrong’ doesn’t mean we should let the phantoms in our lives continue to keep a hold on our future. Just because someone does some good things doesn’t erase the consequences and ripples of the bad they have done, and just because we do bad things doesn’t mean we can’t do good.

The way to end the cycle of violence is empathy.

It’s simplistic in concept, but if you look around at not just the reception to this game even before people could play it, but just the STATE OF THE WORLD IN 2020, you will see that maybe we still need such basic, simplistic concepts to continue to be explored in big budget media.

#tlou part 2 #tlou #The Last of Us #The Last of Us Part 2

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low-budget-korra · 4 years ago

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The first text I made was over 2,000 words so I’ll try to summarize it.

First I'm going to talk about what I think is Bury Your Gays and poor writing of minorities.

For me, Bury your gays is when certain productions kill the lgbt character for the sake of shock value, often in the most stupid ways possible. A famous example of this was what happened to Lexa in the 100. When it feels like the character only died because he is gay.

And for me, poor writing for minorities (poc, lgbt, people with disabilities ...) can be characterized as:

1. Productions that want to portray the image of progressives and put a poc or lgbt character (which are the most common cases) without personality, unimportant, without development ... Character that are just there for decoration

2. When they even create an interesting character but soon create a reason to kill him to shock the audience. Kill them because they are poc.

And for me having a poc or lgbt character (since these are the boxes where I identify with) interesting, important ... this is the word: Important! whether it is important directly in the plot as a protagonist who carries the story or a supporting role with a good role on the story and a good development, it is much more significant than a character forced only for certain productions not to be accused of racism, sexism or lgbtphobia.

Of course, each case is different. I will now comment briefly on Atomic Blonde, The Last of Us part II and The Legend of Korra.

In Atomic Blonde we have the death of Delphine, a lgbt character who has generated some discussions about being a "bury your gays". I don't particularly agree because I believe that if she were a man or straight, she would die anyway. Since the protagonist's other love interest had died in the beginning and he was a heterosexual white man, and because the character of Delphine, despite being a spy, did not belong in that work or life style . Something even commented by herself. She was an inexperienced agent in the worst possible scenario to be one . But i now understand and why some people still think It was bury your gays.

In The Last of Us part II I saw many people complaining about the death of Jesse, Yara and how Lev was just a supporting character. The Last of Us part II .... a game that is not afraid to kill loved characters without any ceremony simply because in that world, one mistake can cost your life. Regardless of gender, sexuality, age, skin color ...

Jesse and Yara played Asian American characters and died. Mel, Joel, Owen ... were Caucasian, cishet characters who died too. None of them die because they are asian american or caucasian, they die cuz that world is fucking ruthless.

And about Lev not being important just because he is an supporting character... First that he is for Abby what Dina is for Ellie, both of them are extremely important support for the protagonists and Interesting characters with their own internal struggles and development. I think it is very unfair to throw this away with the argument like: "ah, but he is not the protagonist so it is not important"

And still about The Last of Us part II we are talking about a game and for those who do not know the gamer community is toxic, full of sexism, racism, lgbtphobia ... And the game developers had the balls for not only make two protagonists women outside the steryotype of femme fatalle or defenseless love interest(still very present in games) and one of them a lesbian, but also introducing an important trans character in a mainstream high-budget game.

People, until recently the only image we had of women in games was that of a busty model running around, made purely to please male players, good and important black, asian and lgbt characters was really rare or just didnt exist at all.

And today we have characters like Ellie, Lev, Kassandra (AC Odyssey), Jill Valentine and Claire Redfield who were reimagined more humanely in the remakes of Resident Evil, Lara Croft herself in the 2013 Tomb Raider remake, Max and Chloe(Life is Strange), Lee and Clementine(TWD from telltale), Marcus (Detroit Become Humam ), Connor (AC3) ... I know, there is still a long way to go until we have achieved the equality and representativeness that we want in the world of games but we are advancing. They may be a baby step but they still are steps forward. We should continue to support this initiatives and demand better representation.

Now about The Legend of Korra ... Reading the comments in the post i get the feeling that people were much more angry with Bryke for being cishet than with questions related to the narrative.

It bothers me the fact that it seems that whoever made the posts (originally from twitter) did not watch avatar or simply watched without paying attention. It was NEVER about Korra needed suffering but about finding Meaning in suffering. And yes, they are two different things.

When in the end Korra is talking to Tenzin, about understand the why she had to go through all that , for them be abble to be more compassionate of others. That shit is real. When you have a panic attack , for exemple, you become more abble to help someone who also suffers from that. Or when some people lose someone for a disease or acident and choose to become a doctor to help others, wanting no other person had to go through that pain... In this case, the person didnt have to lose someone to be a doctor but maybe after saw all the fight that the doctors put in to save someone and the pain of losing someone may have made the person spend the rest of his life saving people. Get It?

And in Avatar, both TLA and TLOK, people have suffer.

Aang: Cast aside by his friends when people discover he was the Avatar. Runaway and lose all of his people. Had to see the devastation for himself and find the bones of his friend and possible father figure. Almost die a few times. For many years had the weight of been the last of his people. And in a part of the journey, lost Appa.

Sokka and Katara: Lost their mother. Their dad leave to fight and possible die in the war. Sokka was only a teen when he was the man responsable for his tribe. Katara had the weight of being the only waterbender of her tribe and be the only one that could calm Aang once he was in Avatar State.

Toph: as a blind kid, her parents think of her as someone unable to do anything. Had to choose between save Appa or save the others in some point of their journey

Zuko: When i start with him?

Azula: oh Boy...

Iroh: Lose is only son. Had to see his brother burn Zuko's face. And Zuko betrayed him, kind of, in the end of book2.

Asami: Her mom was murdered , maybe even in front of her. Her dad was a evil genius. She probably suffered with Korra in those 3 years.

Mako and Bolin: They grow up as orphans on the streets...

I could go on and on, dude, even the cabbage man had suffer from losing his cabbages over and over.

But all of the sudden, Korra now had to have plot armor or else Bryke is wrong and are terrible people.

Everybody loves to talk about how perfect Zuko's arc and development is. Zuko, who was one of the characters who most have suffered in the show. But for him all was necessary, had meaning, perfect storytelling and structure but with Korra.... "She cant suffer cuz she is brown"

And its not like Bryke was making something up outta nowhere just to torture the character. All she face it was a consequence direct or indirect of her actions and actions of other people.

Amon and the Equalists? Aang didnt kill Yakone nor put him in prison for life, just took his bending. Yakone was a terrible father, and one of the reason Amon hate bending (even himself been a waterbender) so much to the point of him do what he did. The same to Tarrlok. He turn his sons into monsters. And the triads only help them, because they use their bending to rob the non benders.

Vaatu? Look up The Beginning epsodes because this one is more complex.

Unalaq? Look, the worst villain of Avatar. But he took advantage of things that happen as consequences of the ending of book1

Zaheer? Direct consequence of that happen in the finale of book 2.

Kuvira? Direct consequence of things that happen in book 3

Again, i could go on and on and go deeper on all that. But this is already getting to big.

But what pissed me off most is ... Look im years in this fandom. As a Brazilian i saw and read stuff from the fandom here in my country and the fandom here in Tumblr. And in those years i read so much about how Korra journey help people overcome their struggles with ptsd, anxiety, depression...myself included. How much Korra was important to lesbians and bissexuals girls, especially girls of color.

And them we have those few people throw shit on all this and "cancel" you for not agree with them...

The Legend of Korra ended 2014, 6 years ago and still is so loved, so important to so many people, for the most diverse reasons.

For a cishet, Bryke did a amazing job creating this amazingly beautiful universe. With the most diverse inspirations, coming from places that are forgotten on western media. But i guess its easier criticize, and cancel them and the show than do what they did.

I know that sometimes we just wanted a scape from our difficult reality but seriously, if you Just want a movie/tv show/book...100% happy, rainbow and sunshine with no suffering at all, stick with the fanfics because even romcons sometimes have their among of "i you make you cry and suffer" kind of shit.

Suffer is present in our life and what a lot of movies/tv shows/games/books...try to do is bring our struggles and our suffering into them. Why? Its easier have simpathy for characters who look like us, characters who had been through the same stuff as us.

Is so difficult talk those things in another language. I always feel like i didnt express myself right. And im really sorry if i offended anyone, it wasnt my intention.

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ella-se-vuelve-loca · 5 years ago

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Chapter 16

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

I was inspired by one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite novelas lmao “Lo Que La Vida Me Robó” (What Life Took From Me). I’m not used to writing angst, but I hope y’all like this chapter!

Previous Chapter

Joel’s P.O.V.

Everything changed after that night at Christopher’s.

Days and weeks have passed and I haven’t heard a single word from her. I’m dying to just hear her voice, and not the same recording I get when she doesn’t answer my calls. I couldn’t bring myself to delete her number even though she wanted me to. I haven’t told anyone about what happened because I want to hold onto the hope that there’s still something I can do.

“Chicos! Remember to bring your passports in a few days. Puerto Rico is waiting for us to start off this tour.” Clara smiled as I had looked up from my phone. The tour is literally around the corner and I’m not sure I have enough time to be able to fix us before I leave. I’m leaving the two of us on a bad note if I don’t do something.

Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t want to see me either if I’m being honest…

Huh… honesty.

I should’ve been that in the very beginning to avoid this. Maybe it would’ve been different.

I’ve been in dance rehearsal all day and counted down the hours until I can go to her place to see her at least one last time. I have to try again before I leave because after today.. I’m not going to have any time. It’s just gonna to be “go – go – go” and getting ready to hop on that plane.

“Alright guys, that’s it for today. Go home and pack your bags, make sure you get everything and Zabdiel?” Clara spoke as he looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“Please don’t forget your passport again.” Zabdiel smiled and gave her a thumbs up. “I won’t. It’s already in my bag.” Everyone was grabbing their stuff and a water bottle on the way out while I walked towards the side of the room where the mirrors were. What am I gonna say to her? Will she even let me in?

“Hey, you comin’?” I heard a voice behind me say. I turned around and saw Erick holding the door open as he looked my way. “Yeah.. yeah I’m going.” I sighed and walked over to him. “Todo bien?” He asked as I nodded, walking towards the cars out in front. Before I head over to her place, there’s one thing I have to do first.

‘(Y/N)?’

I waited to see if she would respond back to me. Is this a mistake?

‘I thought I told you to delete my number?’

‘Oh my God, I was so afraid you wouldn’t answer me’

Read at 11:08 AM

‘(Y/N), please, can we talk?’

‘No, I told you I’m done’

‘Listen, I know I messed up, okay? You have every right to be upset at me and I am so sorry’

‘Okay’

‘Okay? Please give me a little more than okay, (Y/N)..’

‘What else do you expect me to say to you? Do you have any idea what it feels like loving someone who’s in a rush to throw you away?’

‘(Y/N) please, let me explain’

‘You have your life and I have mine. Two completely lifestyles that should’ve never combined’

‘Are you saying that we never should have met?’

‘I’m saying that we should maybe just move on and be with someone new. I’m officially setting you free, Joel. Go out there and explore, you don’t have me holding you back anymore’

‘No, don’t do this to me please. I need you, I want you. Give me another chance’

‘Consider this as me doing you a favor. I’m so sorry. Maybe if things were different, we could’ve been together’

‘Don’t you understand? You’re the one I want! Please, let me prove myself’

‘Goodbye, Joel’

‘(Y/N)! I’m so sorry!’

Read at 11:17 AM

‘I was such a dick to do this to you! Don’t shut me out! I promise I’ll make it up to you!’

Read at 11:20 AM

‘I never meant to hurt you or anyone’

Read at 11:22 AM

‘Don’t leave me. I love you, (Y/N)’

UNDELIVERED

‘(Y/N)…’

UNDELIVERED

(Y/N)’s POV

It’s been about a week or two since cut all ties with Joel. I’m honestly so grateful for my best friends though. They’re doing whatever possible to help me feel better and tell me things like how we don’t need no man and shit. Girl power, am I right?

Still, I can’t quite shake the hurt I feel. I know Victoria still wants to see Christopher, but she’s afraid to go out with him simply for the fact that he’s one of Joel’s friends. I’ve reassured her though that I won’t take away her chance at love just because mine didn’t work out. If she ends up with one of his friends, that’s okay because she deserves to be happy too.

As much as I love them, they have their own lives to live and shouldn’t stop theirs just because mine turned to shit recently. I’ve been pretty hesitant to text Johann since that night, not quite sure how I felt about his offer. I sat on my couch as I looked at the TV, ‘Supernatural’ playing on the screen. “There’s no way in hell am I watching some sappy love story..” I said. Maybe ‘Team Free Will 2.0’ can help take my mind off of him. Sam and Dean Winchester, here I come!

I managed to watch almost 3 episodes before I realized that I wasn’t paying that much attention to the storyline. God, I must be out of it or something. What happens if I do take up on his offer? What good will that do? I don’t believe that Johann’s intentions were pure, but maybe can be a distraction, like he said. That’s the only reason why I’ve even considered it.

It hurt to block his number from my phone, but I just didn’t want to deal with anything anymore. I still love him… but he hurt me. Why couldn’t he have been honest with me? Why didn’t he just leave me be the night we met? Why did I even give him my number in the first place? Is this my fault too? If I didn’t give him my number, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken about him right now.

I felt myself wanting to just drift off to sleep before I heard my doorbell ringing. I stayed sitting down, hesitating because I wasn’t expecting anyone to come and visit me. Maybe they’ll go away?

Ding Dong

I guess not. Pausing my show, I stood up and walked towards my front door and opened it. “Listen, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in what you’re selling and – ”

“(Y/N)?” I looked up and saw… him. “Joel?” He bit his lip and cleared his throat. He held a bouquet of flowers in his hands and shifted from side to side. “Um.. hi..” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against my doorframe. “What are you doing here?” I asked as he scratched the back oh his neck. “I just… I needed to talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you. Goodbye.” I went to close the door, but he put his foot through and prevented me from shutting the door in his face. “Please, all I’m asking for is a few minutes of your time.” I scoffed and walked inside, him slowly following after me.

I had my back facing him and I closed my eyes, hoping I didn’t start crying with him just being here… with flowers… for me. “I uh got these for you..” He held up the bouquet as I turned around to grab them. “You told me once that these were your favorites and I – ” I took them from his hands and walked over to the trash bin, tossing them in without a care. “Thanks, but I don’t want your flowers.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Oh.. o – okay then..”

I heard him shuffling in the background as I thought about what I’ve wanted to say to him. “(Y/N)…” I heard his voice crack as I slowly turned to look at him, noticing that he was getting down on his knees, his eyes already starting to water. Honestly, this sight, is heartbreaking. “When this all started out, I will admit that my intentions were in the wrong place.” He spoke.

“I didn’t – I didn’t take into consideration about anyone else’s feelings but my own. It was selfish, cruel and I have nothing else to say but I’m sorry.” His hair was disheveled and in a complete mess, not styled like how it was before. “Perdóname por favor..” He sniffled as I sat down on the couch, him right in front of me. “¿Cómo puedes pedir perdón and expect things to go back to the way they were before?” I asked as I frowned at him.

“You used me to try and get with some girl you like… and said you’d drop me once you got what, or who, you actually wanted. You’ve had every opportunity to tell me or stop before it got more serious and you didn’t.” I looked down at my hands and held back the tears wanting to fall down my cheeks.

“I know, I know.. pero.. por favor. Vamos olvidamos el pasado. Let’s just start over and I promise I’ll – ” He grabbed onto my hands before I pulled them away from his grasp. “No, suéltame. No me toques..” He slowly pulled away leaned down, running his hand through his hair, clearing his throat.

“When you kissed me for the first time, you told me that you’ve been wanting to do that for a little while..” I looked down at him and gave him a sad smile. I thought back to that kiss. The way his lips were on mine and how he held me close to him. It was all a lie. Get that in your head, (Y/N). He never wanted you in the first place.

“I wonder if you felt relief when I dumped you, no longer needing me to help with your plan.” I saw his shoulders slump and that action only verified what I thought. It wasn’t real. We weren’t real.

“I thought that you were different. You told me that you were and I was stupid enough to actually believe you..” I looked at him and realized how close he was to me.

“Perdóname, estaba.. muy confundido. I thought Emilia was the one I wanted, but now I know she’s not. She only sees me as a friend and I should’ve left it alone at the very beginning. Like you said, things happen for a reason… I met you..” I could tell he wanted to hold onto me because of how much he kept running his hand through his hair. This is the first time we’ve seen each other in a few weeks and here we are, crying. “This has to be fate.”

“I want to believe you and be able to start over, but that will always be in the back of my head. Just questioning if I’m ever good enough for you and how there is always someone else that you wanted. I’m just your backup..”

“(Y/N), no I promise. I’m the one that fucked this up and it’s not you, I promise.” He sighed and gulped. “I’m.. I’m leaving in a few days. I’m going on tour with the boys and I won’t be back until towards the end of the year..”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. “Because… I don’t want us to leave on a bad note. I’m telling you because, if there’s any hope for us – a slight chance that we can be fixed – I want you there at the airport. We can travel together, if you want. I know you said that you wanted to travel and all you have to do is be there and I’ll take you with me. If you ask me to stay, I will. Yes, I’ve fought for my place in the band, but I’ve found something more important… I found love..” I sighed and bit my lip, shaking my head. “I can’t make you that promise that I’m gonna be there.” I said.

“Please… I’m leaving in a week. I can take you to see places you’ve never been too and we can be together…” Seeing him hurts. It honestly fucking hurts. “I loved you, Joel, but my life is here. Being with you is going to be difficult and I’d have to change and revolve my life around yours..” I frowned. “Y ahora me pides que olvides todo eso and drop everything to go with you… no puedo.” I moved a strand of hair away from my face as I saw my vision become blurry.

“Qué.. qué puedo ser para mí perdonas?” He asked, looking straight at me waiting for an answer. I frowned and slowly shook my head.

“Nada..”

“(Y/N).. I… no, please. I promise I’ll be better than I was before. I’m being honest and I’ll – I’ll treat you like the queen you are. Please, don’t let me go. There has to be something I can do..” I stood up and grabbed onto his arms, hoisting him so we were almost chest to chest. “Por favor tú… tú vete.” I walked towards one of the windows in the room, facing my back towards him once more. “No te quiero ver, Joel.” My voice cracked. I could feel his gaze on me as I tried to be strong for the sake of my heart.

“Don’t make me say this again. I don’t want to be with… a man like you…” I cleared my throat and crossed my arms over my chest. “Lárgate.” After a few moments of silence, I heard his steps go further and further away from me as he opened the door. I wanted to so badly to just run up to him and feel his arms wrap themselves around me. I wanted to feel his kiss against my lips. I love him… I.. loved him..

He walked out and shut the door behind him, leaving me in silence. It was then when I finally allowed my tears to fall down my face and let myself cry.

It’s done. We’re officially done.

Next Chapter

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